#so labels as in like societal labels

[saitamastamaticsoup]

Hobie “i hate labels” brown would not hate relationship labels I fear y’all aren’t understanding what he means by that in a punk way

#like I get it I do!! #but now y’all saying he would like the queen #THE YELLOW IN HOS LACES AND OUTLINE IS FOR ANTI RACISM #so labels as in like societal labels #he hates gender not relationships #like idk I get it you want him to be toxic in a hot way #but he is nothing of the sort #he says fuck boy and girl but you can be his girlfriend #jokes are fine but y’all making angst out of it pls #like I’m not mad but the miscommunication here #as punk as a whole subculture is annoying lowkey bc it’s built off the foundation #of hating opression and it’s not clicking for yall #across the spider verse spoilers #atsv hobie #spider punk #atsv #hobie brown #pls yall he’s black let’s think about context

[shmaroace]

don't get me wrong, i love all the positivity around being aro, like "be proud of being aro!! love who you are!!", but we never talk about how hard it is to reach that spot. so here's to the aros who are still trying to understand themselves, who aren't proud of who they are yet, who are still coming to terms with their new identity.

#i was in serious denial about being aro for a long time like i knew the label and knew it fit but i refused to use it for several months #even after that point it took a while for me to be comfortable with the label or saying it #and this is not a bad thing!! being aro basically requires you to undo all the societal brainwashing you grew up with #and there is so much arophobia that it's hard to find positivity #i got lucky w/ this blog and the people i follow but i know i had a hard time being as proud of myself and my queerness as i am now #this doesn't even really have to be an aro statement like i think it could fit most queer experiences #sorry for the long tags haha #aro #aromantic #arospec #aromanticism #aro pride #aro positivity #aroace #aspec #1k #5k #6k #7k

[knifearo]

beloved aro blog thank u for that response to the anon who didnt know how to tell if they were aro (it says asexual, but maybe that was a typo?). i generally use the aro label for myself because it fits 95% of the time but that 5% is when the doubt comes in and i feel like im "faking it." but that anon u answered has Cleared the Cobwebs of Doubt. youre Right. Amatonormativity is So Prevalent. the paragraph about wanting romance bc romance, or wanting romance bc society says u need a romantic relationship to get xyz thing from life Hit Me So Hard. i think i will come back to this post every time i feel Unsure about my label. so thank u for placing your words in that order for me. love loses. love wins. violence. have a great day homie

first of all. i'm ur beloved aro blog 🥺 nd yeah i do think it was a typo haha

second of all i'm so glad that it helped out for you :) the thing about amatonormativity is that you will constantly go "it can't be doing ALL of these things." but then it IS. EVERY TIME. you look up and amatonormativity is warping your ideas of self-worth and your plans for the future and your interactions with friends and family and holding society as a whole in a fucking vice grip and it's fucking. stealing your lunch money too. idk. that bitch. you know how it is. anyway that 5% is so real and you're so real for feeling it and it is NOT silly or cringe to take a few seconds in the bathroom mirror telling yourself "you ARE aromantic. and it's okay." if that's something that'll help. and also yada yada "aromanticism is not one uniform experience and arospec identities are valid and you can call yourself aromantic even if you experience romantic attraction sometimes as long as it feels like a label that's relevant to your experience" all the things that i'll say anytime someone is coming to me saying that they don't know if they're Really aro haha. just to get it out of the way. sounds like you've got stuff in a good place rn and i'm so glad that you're feeling that way :) hell yeah brother love loses!!!!! aromanticism forever and ever 🖤

#man who never stops talking about aromanticism when someone lets him talk about the logistics of using the aromantic label #GOD i need to write my little aro theory posts so bad. i need people to have a framework in place #so that i can talk about the way that amatonormativity has fucked up our societal concepts of morality cause like... #saying 'amatonormativity has a huge influence on whether you are seen as a morally good person' is WILD with nothing behind it. #but it's true. anyway. fuuuuuck dude. #love you anon kissing you hope you have such a good day. write in anytime #ask #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aro positivity #aroace

[bravevolunteer]

ngl every time i see the "cis" in michael's bio it feels. Wrong. like i see it and i go "i'm probably gonna non conform his gender one of these days"

#the problem i think is i don't know exactly in what way HE'S JUST. HE'S GENDER. #and i know not everything necessarily needs to be put in labels but for the sake of a character bio. It Kinda Does to a certain degree KJDF #i support the transmasc swag michaels the vibes are certainly there but i don't think that's the route mine is going down #MORE SO JUST. that rotting corpse is gnc af. all attachments to being amab are rooted in societal ideas (bc he DOES especially pre 83 get #caught up in seeming 'like a man' or tougher he did try to project an image reflecting his father (who was also constantly putting up walls #and masks whatever you think they may be but i digress) he will be initially hesitant (*cough* closeted) to experiment with gender roles) #but when you pull that back he honestly couldn't give a fuck less! he doesn't think about it all that much! #and yeah that's just. That's What Gender Is. Societal. but look i get VIBES. #or maybe i'm just nonbinary and desperately want to steal his look. who knows really KDFSHJGFHDJK #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

[nnycap]

I hate society and how it treats and categorises (non-familial) relationships.

Society says "only platonic, romantic, and sexual" and completely ignores everything else. Says those are the only types of attraction you can feel. No nuance, no nothing. It all can be categorized into those categories. Not to mention of course it feels like platonic ones must always come second to romantic/sexual ones.

That's cool and all, but what if I have attraction that doesn't fit any of those things? What then?

Let me be clear, I know love isn't always romantic. But that's what the term is mainly connected with and I don't want that confusion even if I clarify it. But my view on relationships and attraction are so far disconnected from society's norm that if I try to talk about how I feel I'd always have to cater how I explain what I'm feeling to the people who follow the norm. And that's the problem. I can't.

Society has no words for how I feel. How can I describe what I feel without being forced to say "love" ? I don't want to use that word because of its connotations, but society doesn't care about anything else so we only have "love." How am I supposed to explain what I feel without the fear of it being misinterpertated? As an example: How do you tell someone that you want to be physically intimate with them (hugging, cuddling, kissing; all traditionally romantic things) and would also partake in sexual activities with them despite not being romantically or sexually attracted to them and not feeling that you need to be in a relationship with them to do those things?

And of course fuck monogamy and exclusivity being the standard.* Can I not show my affection to friends in relationships? Obviously I understand that they may be uncomfortable/not want to do some of the things I previously mentioned but why something not inheritly romantic/sexual like physical contact have to be restricted for people in relationships?

(*If people prefer or are happier this way, good for them. What I'm saying is I wish open relationships were more normalized, not that everyone has to be poly.)

I'm just tired of trying to fit myself into society's strict boxes. I don't want to try and explain what I feel as "romantic," "platonic," or "sexual." I need words outside of "love" to explain deep connections to people not associated with being platonic or romantic. I wish it was normal for people to be more open like that. I'm tired of trying to fit in just in general. I don't feel human. I feel like an alien among what is supposedly my own species.

Derailing a bit from the main topic but: Society just wasn't made for people like me. If you don't fit an overly specific image of "normal" society just says to go fuck yourself. I know this post is mainly geared for a-specs, but this last part can apply to basically anyone.

We are not obligated to fit ourselves into those boxes. But it's really hard to reject societal norms and feel comfortable doing so.

#asexual #aromantic #uhhh if this applies to other identities feel free to add on #text post #long post #obligatory 'haha among us' #also yes i know about queerplatonic relationships but like #societal norms doesnt give a shit about qprs so they arent really relevant here i feel #and yes i know about alterous and queerplatonic attraction but still #idk its all just complicated and im tired of trying to define and label everything i feel.

[viksalos]

in about 5 sessions with my therapist we went from "you can't possibly be autistic because you're not like the nonverbal high support needs teenage boys i worked with in the early 2000s," to me digging up my childhood psychological records from the early 2000s and convincing her, to her presenting my case to her supervisor and her supervisor being like "yeah you had an undiagnosed autistic client on your hands and she needs to be transferred to someone qualified to handle that" lmao

#text #only reason i stuck with her after figuring it out is bc my psychiatrist works at the same practice and he *is* qualified lol #that said i don't think she was being malicious abt this. like i would be more angry at her if she *still* refused to believe me #after all the evidence i dug up #only thing she's guilty of is not keeping up with the research in this particular subfield of her field #which; in fairness; is no longer her specialty #aughhhh i'm gonna have to do so much processing about how the '''''g1fted''''' label shot me in the foot so many times tho #with so many professionals who insisted i couldn't possibly be having any associated difficulties bc of it #(not to mention the societal narrative that ex-''g1fted'' kids are just privileged (fair) and whining about fake problems (not fair)) #and set me up for so much systemic abuse that i can't even be mad at a single person for bc they all thought they were doing their best #but the good news is i can process that with New Therapist lol!

[metanarrates]

basically: not using the aromantic label cause I don’t think it’s crazy applicable to my life (i feel like my weird relationship to romance is more easily chalked up to me being autistic polyam and a lesbian) but I believe in their beliefs

#narrates #obv people can use the aro label for those reasons. i just don't rly think it matters to me whether I do or not #but aro people I am shaking your hands so fucking hard. we need to unionize to destroy society #we need to destroy societal enshrining of Love as the most important subjective human experience #it's like implicitly cisgender heterosexual monogamous love of course #but expanding that definition of Love and still treating it as all important isn't good either. #having that be the expected norm is always gonna be cruel and alienating and is always gonna force people into boxes they don't want! #so yeah. we can do without it being the most important human thing thank u

[musical-chick-13]

UGGGGHHHHHH

#me: oh *FINALLY* I have found someone who shares the same unpopular dislike for a popular character/ship/series/whatever #let's see what else this person has to say! #that person: get OFF of my BLOG and throw yourself in JAIL if you ship [laundry list of things] or enjoy [list of various literary themes] #EVERY TIME. I CANNOT HAVE /ANYTHING/ #like. SOMETIMES. I want to talk about 'hey I think the treatment of this idea/character/etc. reflects a societal bias that I find harmful' #or 'I don't think this was an effective story choice and hate this dynamic/character' #or even 'I'm petty and want to complain' #but nobody ever allows for that without having to attach an 'iT's pRoBLeMaTiC' label onto it like folks I am NOT on your side here #I do not CARE I just want to bitch about how I find this thing boring or stupid or ineffectively-written it is NOT that deep #In the Vents #it's also SO funny how most of these people unapologetically unironically enthusiastically stan nbc h*nnibal like how can you be #this much of a Media Purist™ and like THAT. explain it to me like I'm 5

[perenlop]

Finished Rubyfruit Jungle like a week ago, which I was studying for class, and ngl... I tried very hard to view the book as a product of its time, where things that are considered poor taste today probably weren't viewed that way back then, but most of the time I kinda just got a "I'm not like THOSE lesbians" vibe from it

#man for a girl that talks so much about how gender roles are suffocating and detrimental to women especially #she literally says that theyre women pretending to be men so they dont have to be lesbians... ok #like bc the theme is about how suffocating and stupid societal expectations are- i thought molly was eventually gonna realize #that she was picking up on her parents' biases and hatred for people outside of the norm #so when she finds people in her community shes uncomfortable bc this has all been shamed her whole life and even tho she breaks free #shes not immune from inflicting that worldview on other people. but no she never learns from this and from the authors statements #this is all supposed to be a good thing because labels are bad and the intent is that molly ''breaks free'' from this culture #even tho she is literally doing the exact thing her mom did by viewing masculine women as undesirable and gross #even tho molly herself is a domineering person with masculine attributes and interests- she looks down on butches unapologetically #its a book that says ''fuck yeah defy societal expectations and gender roles!! not that much though'' #echoed voice

[mejomonster]

As I get older and older I more tangibly realize why queer individuals in older generations than mine might prefer words I wouldn't use for myself, and likewise why younger generations preferences would be different too. Like it was always clear you know, a person knows their identity best and what labels they prefer best and even if you don't get it you should respect it. But I guess the older I get the more I realize I really don't know and never can know the background another person has for their perceptions and meaning for labels and why something in particular helps them to use or not

#rant #lgbt #........................................................................................................................................... #i just. so im alive in the time i guess when i saw trans identities barely discussed like even in educational material i didnt #hear about gender identity until i dug deep. to people now using transmasc and transfemme as labels. labels i dont understand and know #i dont. i presume they mean trans people who identify with masculinity or femininity? but i think im probably wrong #because ive seen transmen call themselves transmasc and it confuses me. because a transman can be a very feminine person who loves makeup #so. one cannot say transmasc and actually Mean all trans men. a transfemme does Not include all transwomen because transwomen can be butch #and reject femininity. so like... from my outdated perception i see it as the cis straight societal gender expectations of men MUST be masc #women MUST be femme which. i hate. becayse i specifically feel all people should and can be whatever they want. #any man can be feminine any woman can be masculine any person can be any range on that and change daily and do what they want #and their gender is still valid. and then like. theres ppl like me. im nonbinary. im a pretty feminine guy #im a fairly masculine woman. i dont think i could even fit into transmasc or transfemme labels. #i do think those labels help and suit people who like them. if i met a nonbinary lipstick lesbian perhapa #transfemme would help her xommunicate how she feels. but those words dont help me they are boxes i cant fit inside #and i get why they exist but its like. cool. now i get why transman needs to be preserved Outside of transmasc. because feminine trans men #still need space. i get why masculinjty and femininity need to mean something clearly Separate from gender itself or we loose the ability #to express the range of gender expression in qll areas. i dont know what transexual means but now i realize why a person older than me #may LIKE that label and cling to it. because it may communicqte something For Them that helps them in a #way that was lost to understanding by my generation. in a way that the terms no longer useful for my self identity but is for them. #in the way that trans man and nonbinary fit me but i could never be fit within the labels of transmasc or transfem etc #and in the way that for some people transmasc etc labels will fit Them and Help in a way a label like transman never can. and so on

[jorvikzelda]

love takes so many forms. theyre all so fucking beautiful. I love humans and the way we contain so many multitudes

#the number 1 most valuable thing id’ing as ace for like 7 years gave me is the ability to look critically upon societal norms about love #like how different forms of love can or should be expressed or which forms of love are more important than others #its all Bullshit for the record. no form of love is Inherently more important and theres no right or wrong way to express Any of them #so big thanx to aro & ace people for teaching me That <3 #also just for the record i hold 0 bitterness towards ace people. it is nobody’s fault i used a label as a means of repressing my sexuality #yall are lovely. i am simply not one of yall #tfw you stop being a part of the ace ssoblrite club 😔 #z talks

[electrosquash]

I feel more and more like i've been severely misdiagnosed

#and failed by the youth welfare system but that's a given lmao fuck the FDP #fun fact i've been diagnosed every single personality disorder #because i was desperate for money (thanks Hartz4 sanctions) #and the postgrads were desperate for test subjects for their PhD dissertations (thanks societal Dr. expectation on medicine students) #so they just diagnosed me on the fly. but did anyone ever think of looking in the autism direction? nah #every single symptom i'm having can surely be explained by ICD10 F60.something (they even made some up lol) #the only one i agree with is bpd though #i keep relating to autism posts here but then i remember i don't qualify for all aspects #and only because tumblr labels them all autism/adhd doesn't mean those experiences don't exist in other neurodivergencies (bc there's more) #but then again i don't qualify for all aspects for bpd either but since that's the lazy cop-out diagnosis i guess it was enough lol #i guess i'm just unfathomable like that #i think i should allow myself to relate to experiences more than diagnosises. the latter model has failed me anyway #personal

[unionize-aromantically]

This song has been stuck in my head since lunch.

#very welcomely tbc #i was watching a like sad het story for history #it wasn't necessarily bad but it was kinda dull #i don't think it had any real focus #it showed some societal difference in how much christianity matters and casual violence and a war that was happening #i was gonna say romance didn't matter and it was unnecessary but tbf it was the reason the story happened #they were far from demi and apperantly were still in love after 20 years #so we can hc them as grayrose #and whatever the label for only attracted to one person is i can't remember #songs #music #Spotify #song stuck in my head

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

i respect fuck all labels in a “all humanity is on a spectrum and we can never define the experiences and emotions of every person ever with this identity into one neatly drawn box” or a “i don’t feel like labeling myself because it makes me feel contained and i know who i am and don’t need to define it just for the sake of other peoples comfort” way but i do not respect fuck all labels in a “im using this as an excuse to reject and invalidate labels other than my own worldview of the norm and condescend to people who are using a label that i don’t perceive as valid” way. stop it.

#i hate hate hate when people use that argument because yes i agree with the concept BUT I CAN TELL UR NOT SAYING IT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS #like it’s not coming from a complex understanding of people and societal norms it’s coming from a lemme hide my bigotry behind nice words #UGH frustrating especially when it’s someone in your family and you can’t disagree with them because the concept is wrong which they’d prob #maybe be more receptive to. no you have to explain how you are perceiving like they are saying it from a place of not so hidden bias #which for me does NOT go over well 😭😭 #anyways #fuck all labels but also labels are cool #so what u want people it’s literally up to no one but you #lgbtq

[allseeingdirt]

i NEED to get more narrative foils

#rian is too soft i need someone scuffier and potentially MORE bedraggled n snippy to go on rants #rian is good for heartfelt and/or heartbreaking rants. i need someone to be angry cunty #but not as one of rians debate partner #they dont have deep personal history and/or stakes in engaging w one another they actually share views most of the time. #rian just thinks the others too hard n the other thinks rians too soft. so they dont interact much they just in each others radar as #Vaguely (Prickly/Mushy) Ally #mayb hes either Not an accursed but similarly ''cast out'' from the label human or hes accursed but #by choice not by forced inheritance like rian #foils etc etc #anyways i watched OSP's new pinocchio plot video and now i have Thoughts. on Humanity. and lack of #rians story is like avsolutely drenched in the question of Humanity Or No. rian as an accursed n described as former-human never-been-human #former in the societal sense. the second he becomes accursed society has deemed him Not human. but since he was younger #being human has always felt an alien concept to him. vexing. confusing. mainly bcuz of his particular brand of neurodivergency #maybe hes never been human. in that rian found it sorta like a relief when he became an accursed. he doesnt need to fit in a human mold. he #cast out. he doesnt need to. im not human. may never have been. and thats not so bad is it. type of thinking #n then he meets how other accursed have interpreted that inhumanity thing #one person whos devastated about it. tries to appeal to the standards of humanity. tries to reject what made them an accursed. #someone who hated what humanity has done to them. hated humanity. rejected and spit at the thought of humans. #a sorcerer who is accursed 'by choice'. by practicing magic was cast out of humanity yet will never gave up their magic. #compare n contrast. rians thinking w other accursed's #hes soft abt it tho #kinda want someone else to be rian version pissy. rians too heartfelt abt everything even anger. kinda want someone snarky to have his back #views at least. someone who understands him. and in that understanding disquietness. to know someone else knows your insides intrinsically. #in his eyes ur laid to bare like a gutted fish. because with his eyes hes looking in the mirror. #yeayy thot of more ways to complicate the relationship. the mortifying ordeal of being known #idont think hes in the support group-which is just rians friend group. might b apartment neighbors tho #tank top baggy pants messy cut short hair untrimmed stubble. like if rian was masc LOL #an under the radar accursed or not accursed at all. still dont know

[thechekhov]

Did you seriously reblog a post defending the sanctity of life of pedophiles?

You did not read that post.

I understand that it might be difficult, because of the knee-jerk reaction we all have when it comes to this topic. I admit I also had the emotional first-response of disgust. But I urge you to go back and try to read it again, when you are cool-headed.

Stating that 'murdering people we find disgusting is not the moral high ground it feels like', is not the same thing as 'defending the sanctity of life' of anyone.

And while it feels good to emotionally say 'we should kill all (people who do bad things that cause harm to others)' this does not actually accomplish what our brains think it does.

From the post:

denying the humanity of people who do horrible things accomplishes exactly three things:

give cover to people who haven't been caught yet by allowing them to use their humanity as "proof" of their innocence

silence any criticism of societal structures and institutions that facilitate those horrible things by putting the focus on individuals who are assumed to be so uniquely monstrous that the ways it was made easy for them are irrelevant

provide a shortcut to dehumanize anyone you feel like killing: simply accuse them of doing a horrible thing

Listen, to me, listen:

I know that we are all human and when we see someone committing evil things, we feel justified and good, and we want to use our teeth and claws to rip them to shreds. I KNOW it feels incredible to reply to pain and harm with equal violence.

But on an ideological level, if you EVER hope to understand how emotional manipulation and dehumanization on a social level works, you NEED to be prepared to unwrap this delicious i-can-murder-that-person-and-feel-rightous burrito.

You need to understand why it is not the swiss knife of justice that it feels like.

You need to know that it can and will be used to kill innocent people who don't deserve it, and you will not even notice.

Because if you can justify murder with a simple 'if you fit into this category you automatically don't deserve to live' then you are supporting an authoritarian regime, who can and WILL happily take the easier job of convincing you that some person that they need dead fits the description (of a person you've already agreed doesn't deserve anything but a swift and unquestionable death).

This is why, when they needed the gays to be feared and hunted, they labeled them 'pedophiles'. This is why they're now doing this to trans people. This is why dehumanization is a tool of oppression, not justice.

There is way to fix injustice in the world and protect children without becoming easier to manipulate and trick.

#chekhov answers #this is a heavy topic and I apologize #but im sorry Kill All BLANK will always be a bad moral statement #justice is complex #it is good BECAUSE it can be complex #trying to force justice to be simple will only make it brutal