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luveline · 5 days

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Missing my zombie!steve husband 🫶🏻

quiet day at the camp… hope something bad isn’t brewing… zombie apocalypse au <3 fem, 2k

Steve loves the sound of the river, but he only allows himself a moment to lay down on the riverbank during laundry hours.

You stand knee deep in the water with your pants and sleeves rolled up, the corrugated metal of an old shed roof that’s been repurposed into a washing board held to your chest. It was pointless to roll your sleeves up, you’re soaked to the bone, even your hair, but the summer sun keeps you warm.

“Don’t get too hot!” you call.

“I’m fine,” he says, unwilling to shout.

“He’s fine!” Robin shouts from beside him. “Numbskull.”

Steve stares at you, locking you in, so to speak, the nice shape of your hip and stomach, the mess of your wet hair. Tonight, he’ll help you fix it, but there’s no rush and no hurry to dry off while the sun is out, and the fences are up. He turns onto his stomach. Grass tickles his cheeks.

“You sure you’re okay?” Robin asks quietly.

“Fine. Can you tell me if she needs help?”

“Sure.” He listens to the sounds of her moving, likely pulling the slim lengths of her legs against her chest to hug herself, the tan leaves of a book spread out just in front of her.

Steve could really go for a cigarette. You swapped the last box you found for toothpaste, isn’t that how it always goes? You and Robin found a cheat code in the apocalypse, nicotine with a capital ‘N’. You swap Arctic chewable for socks without holes and boxes of Marlboro’s for the bathroom essentials. Everybody wants them, and you’re great at finding them. Steve never thought he’d crave a cigarette again considering he wasn’t addicted, having smoked for a couple of months in high school to feel cool with his friends, stopping when his mom asked him to. He doesn’t remember why. She’d asked, and he’d listened, as he used to do. Swim team, cross country, basketball, lifeguard training, mowing the lawn, not upsetting his father, taking out the trash, vacuuming, no drinking and driving; task after task after task. Some of it was easy. He liked doing the dishes, and he loved taking care of his mom even if she didn’t feel the same.

Not that it matters now. Does it matter now? He’s never gonna see her again. She’s a memory. She’s a bad memory, most of the time.

The more he reflects on it, he decides. She was a bit shitty, but she’s his mom, and she’s likely gone, so he’ll try to remember the cookies they made together and the way she’d smile at him after she tied his shoelaces before school. And also the mean fucking bitch she’d turn into when she drank two glasses of wine.

“What are you thinking about?” Robin asks.

“That’s the wrong soap,” you say from the river. Your voice floats over the breeze.

“Fuck off, soap is soap,” Eddie says, your not-so-new friend, Steve’s sworn enemy.

“I’m just saying,” you laugh. “Look, I’ll wash, you rinse.”

“I’m thinking about that time,” Steve begins, holding his hand out toward her, open but not expectant, “when my mom and dad came home early from his business trip in Missouri and found us sleeping together.”

“I’d never heard your dad laugh before,” Robin says.

“My mom really didn’t like you after that.” He smiles as she takes his hand. They were a lot more touchy, pre-apocalypse. He misses that sometimes.

“I don’t even think she thought we were dating.”

“She was disgusted.”

“She said we were being weird teenagers.”

“I guess we were. I never had a friend like you before so maybe I can’t blame her,” he says. He has something special with you, you’re a best friend because you’re half of his heart, but Robin was his first proper best friend, and remains it. “I missed you a lot when we were stuck in Indiana. There were a ton of times where shit would go wrong and I would get mad at you because I knew you’d know how to fix it, but you weren’t there.”

“You’d get mad at me?” Robin asks, squeezing his hand. “You jerk. Be mad at yourself.”

“Can you wait for me next time?” he asks.

Robin’s quiet, then she laughs, “I’m nodding but you can’t see.”

He wonders how she’s feeling. He admits to not doing that much in the past. Not that he didn’t think about how he made others feel, he was always worrying about that after Nancy, but he can’t say he thought of it in the moment. Steve forces himself to sit up and offer his arms for a hug, which Robin gladly accepts, her frazzled laugh on his neck as he pats her back.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“You know Y/N says I’m possessive?”

Robin leans away, fingers curled around his elbow. “You’re fighting?”

“No, just. She says I’m possessive, that I get mad about, you know, my people.”

“Right. Isn’t everybody?”

“I never thought I did. I’m not, like, too proud most of the time.”

“Steve, this is super introspective,” she says, frowning, smiling, a weird expression somewhere melding in the middle of happy and concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay? It’s fine if you’re not.” She laughs shrilly. “I woke up the other day and cried and then ten minutes later I felt fine. I’m far from okay.”

Steve glances past Robin’s head to watch you in the river. You’re sitting down amongst the stones. It really isn’t too deep, water to your ribcage washing suds down to Munson, who’s smiling at you kindly, not smarmy or flirting, just smiling.

“Why did you cry?” he asks quietly.

“I missed my cousin, I think.”

Steve curls his arm behind her head and encourages her in for a fiercer hug.

“Think we should probably go help them,” she mumbles.

He takes it for the brush off that it is; sincerity is too much to take, sometimes. If she wants to be evasive about it that’s okay, she already took the leap and admitted to getting upset.

“I cried thinking about Y/N’s hands the other day,” he says.

“Steve.” Robin rubs her eye with the heel of her hand. “I don’t even know what to tell you.”

“What? I’m trying to show you I’m pathetic so you don’t feel bad.”

“I know you’re pathetic, and I don’t feel bad.” She climbs off of the ground and brushes broken grass off of her legs. Steve climbs up next to her, nudging her with his elbow. “You’re mucho pathetic. It’s kind of crazy.”

“I think I might try and drown him,” he says conversationally.

“Why now?”

“Why do you think?” Steve asks, toeing off his shoes and peeling off his socks, nearly pitching forward on the wet bank closer to the river.

You and Eddie look up as they approach from different spots of the water. Your smile at seeing him winds him for the thousandth time, just so happy to see him, so in love with you he doesn’t even know what to do for a few seconds. “Hey, honey,” he says, “can I help?”

“Now you wanna help?” you ask, gesturing to your soaked front.

You’re messing with him, and he doesn’t care anyways, you can talk to him like crap if you want to. He shuffles down from the mud of the riverbank and into the water, cold and wet like a shock against his ankles, softer as it climbs to his knees. You’re sitting where it’s more shallow, opposed to Eddie on his knees and almost drowning further down. He puts his hand on your wet shoulder and kneels down in the water beside you. “Wanna hug?” you tease.

Steve hugs you. Doesn’t care that you’re soaking or that the water is freezing against his crown jewels, though he shivers by your ear, prompting your laugh like bubbles in his own. “It’s cold,” he says.

“Freezing!”

Not to be a freak, but he can feel your chest pressed to him, and he knows you get achy in the cold. He wraps his arms doubly behind your back and rubs at your sides. “How much laundry’s left?” he asks. “We’re gonna get hypothermia. Again.”

“You didn’t get hypothermia,” you remind him, folding into his space. “Steve… is everything okay?”

“Do I look mopey today? Robin just asked me the same thing.”

“You don’t look mopey, but you’re being touchy. You’re cuddling.”

“How am I not supposed to cuddle you, dummy? I’m keeping you warm enough to function right now. Without me you’d be an ice cube floating down the river.” He leans back to hold your face in one hand, your cheek under his thumb, water racing down his wrists and your neck.

You push against his hand gently with your cheek.

“Sorry,” he says.

“What for?”

For lots of things. “I didn’t realise how cold the water was. I would’ve come to help you.”

“It’s fine. I scrub everything and then Eddie catches it. We’ve only lost one pair of underwear,” you say. “The river’s like a long washing machine.”

“How much do you have left?” he asks.

“Nothing. I was just about to get out.”

“Couldn’t have told me that before I came to get you?”

“No,” you say, lifting your chin. Not challenging, but close. It’s an offer, Steve decides, kiss me or don’t kiss me. You don’t seem to realise he doesn’t decide, he needs you. If you always wanted to kiss him, you’d always be kissing, all the time, everywhere.

Steve gives you a quick peck. “Come on, let’s go set up the line.”

You somehow, together, make your way back to the tents without freezing to death after throwing your clothes on a drying line between trees. It’s warm enough that stripping down to your skivvies is mildly pleasant (away from the eyes of the other campers). You get dressed in the softest clothes you own upon Steve’s insistence, sweatpants and a dark hoodie, three pairs of socks and the tent door left open, before he lays you down on the sleeping bag, and settles between your legs, his full weight bearing down on you, his face nestled in the damp crook of your neck.

“I couldn’t kiss you the right way,” he confesses.

“Why?” You pull mildly at the ends of his hair.

“‘Cos I always want more than one kiss.”

“That’s a strangely romantic way to say you wanted to make out with me,” you whisper.

“It’s not like that,” he insists, even though he does want to, and he did in the river, and he does all the time.

“You’re getting kinda heavy, Steve,” you mumble.

“What?”

“It’s a good thing.”

“How dare you.”

“We got sorta frail for a bit.” You wrap an arm around his head, tip of your nose to his forehead.

“Yeah. Lucky we’re in camp Eddie now,” Steve says.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” you murmur, so close to sleeping Steve can tell. You just need a feeling of security to nudge you over the edge.

“Lucky we’re together.” He climbs off of you slowly so as not to rouse you too much, kissing your slack cheek as he settles on your shoulder. “You and me. I don’t care where we are.”

He ends up falling asleep not long after you, lulled by the rhythm of your light snore.

#steve zombie!au #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington scenario #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader

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eatingaburrito · 2 months

Text

SNOOZE — oscar piastri

summary. in which, everyone finally meets oscar’s new girlfriend—who happens to be a ballerina—but the history takes on a whole new meaning. (part four)

genre. smau

previous ↺ next

liked by yourbestfriend, alex_albon and many others…

yourusername what the pink bear said

view all the comments

user i feel so bad bro

user MEN R TRASH PROPAGANDA

user it’s not world war 2 for propaganda but do your thing i guess

landonorris you still have to teach me some ballerina moves !!!!!!

lilymhe brunch at mine?

charlesleclerc I bought croissants

user STOP THEY ARE SO CUTE

user not the paddock people trying to comfort yourname ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

user it was obvious that the two of them wouldn’t last 😂

user bro stfu nobody asked

danielricciardo It’s been a while since you came, we miss you Lord Farquaad

user yourname not answering to any of oscar’s friends’ comments is so heartbreaking 💔

user oscar-lily relationship is way better anyway 🤷‍♀️

oscar baby — 5days ago

[Your name] please don’t tell me you’re believing this

You know damn well I would never do that to you

Never

Please can we just talk about it ? Or just let me explain myself ?

I don’t want you to believe that something might have happened with her

I know it might looks weird but I swear to you that nothing happened

I wouldn’t do this to you

I love you too much

So much that it hurts

Please don’t believe whatever the people are saying

delivered

oscar baby — 4days ago

I tried to come over but I guess you’re out somewhere

I’ve left Chinese takeout and tulips in front of your door

Please answer me

I’ll try to come again tonight

I need you to hear me out please

I know you might be upset and I fully understand you

But please

Just let me explain the situation

delivered

oscar baby — 3days ago

You weren’t there last night

Or you’re just avoiding me

I don’t know

I just want you to hear me out

If you don’t want me in your apartment I’ll fully understand

We can even meet at your favorite cafe if you want

Or even in your stairwell

Wherever you want

I just need you

I need to see you

To know that you’re okay

delivered

oscar baby — 2days ago

You’re still not answering me

I’m literally just hoping you’re doing well

I always have to remember you to drink and eat

So I hope you do

If you’re not I can bring you food

Left it at your front door and go if you still don’t want to see me

I love you

And I miss you

delivered

oscar baby — 1day ago

Literally everyone hates me rn

Lando tried to kill me at practice and Charles, Alex and Daniel chase me every time I make an apparition

Alex’s gf and Kika are giving me side eyes

I explained to them the situation and why Lily and I were walking together

They don’t hate me anymore but I guess I will become their friend again when we’re getting back together

I don’t even know if we’re still together

I’m praying that we are

In my head we are

Just know that I love you

delivered

oscar day — 1hour ago

I just saw your ig post

I’m sorry

So fucking sorry

seen

yourusername posted new stories ! 1hour ago…

oscar baby — 4hours ago

Just saw your ig post

I’m sorry

So fucking sorry

seen

oscar baby — 1hour ago

I know that you’re out with your girls tonight

Be careful please

Call me if anything happens

I’ll be awake

seen

#f1 x reader #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri smau #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri #lando norris #charles leclerc #alex albon #daniel ricciardo #f1 smau #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #fluff

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rebeliz7 · 7 months

Text

LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN

Natasha Romanoff x Pregnant Reader

Word Count: 1881

Request: Hey! Could you do a Nat fic where reader is pregnant and Natasha is so scared of hurting the baby that they don’t have sex anymore and reader gets frustrated?

Warning: 18+ content - NSFW

“Are you looking for something specific?” A girl no older than twenty three asks you, and you have to admit that the look of utter kindness on her face makes you want to run in the opposite direction.

You’re an adult for Christ sake, surely you can buy a sex toy without getting flustered like this.

You smile at her before setting the red dildo back on the stand, and when the thing wiggles you blush a vibrant red, almost matching it.

“Not really.” You speak, and clear your throat immediately after. God, this is mortifying! “My wife usually does the shopping.”

The girl in front of you nods understandably, and you look down at your feet hoping that the ground would swallow you whole.

“Don’t worry.” She says, and her voice is quite soothing. You realize that she’s one of those people that makes you feel comfortable and safe, no matter the situation you’re in. “My name is Jane, and I’d be happy to help you find something, if it’s okay with you.”

“Please.” You practically groan, and as she smiles her eyes fall down on your belly for a second, and your hands immediately come to rest on top of it. “I’ll be seven months along next week.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” She apologizes quickly, and it’s your turn to placate her.

“Don’t worry. I’ve gotten quite used to it.” You tell her as your baby begins to move, your guess is that she’s turning over. “She’s moving.” You smile, and Jane’s smile is delightful. Even more so when you take her hand, and place it on your belly. Which has become a habit of sorts as of late. Your wife’s friends are always eager to feel your baby moving after all.

“Oh my God.” She smiles, as your baby kicks and you do too. “That’s amazing.” Jane says, taking her hand back.

“Yeah.” You nod, but the moment you look to your right and find a purple dildo the size of your arm you remember where you are, and why you came here.

“You and your wife are very lucky.” Jane says, and you huff without really thinking about your answer.

“I wish I was getting lucky, if you know what I mean.” The moment Jane’s eyes widen you realize what you just said, and you’re back to blushing madly. “I’m so sorry. That was so inappropriate. I don’t even know why I said it. I’m so sorry.”

“You know what?” Jane interrupts you, still cool and collected. “I know just what you need.” She says, and with a grimace you follow her to the back of the store.

…

The moment you get home you’re a hundred percent ready to break in your new acquisition, and you don’t even feel bad about it. It’s been months since you had a decent orgasm, and you need it, you so need it.

You have a quick shower, and make sure the cat has food and water before you lock yourself in your room. You turn off your phone so nothing can interrupt you while you do what you have to do. It’s a matter of health at this point, because you’re losing your mind, no question about it.

First you sit down with your laptop to do a bit of research, and your anxiousness only gets worse the more you read the reviews on your new toy. It seems like you got yourself a very useful item indeed.

Without waiting another second you go about undressing yourself before opening the box with the new toy in it, and if you’re blushing it’s okay because no one can see you in the privacy of your own bedroom anyway.

“Okay. Let’s do this.” You murmur as you lay down, and God you should be ashamed of how wet the sight of it is making you, but you’re not.

You take a moment to rub it in your hands to warm it up, but the more you rub it the more your mind goes places, and you wish your wife was here. You wish she was kissing your neck, her hands on your breasts, her naked body rubbing against yours…

But Natasha is simply not interested in having sex with you now that you’re showing.

“Not going there.” You murmur to yourself, because you don’t need to dwell anymore about why she’s so afraid of having sex with you nowadays. You just want to get on with it because on top of everything, it seems like your libido is off the charts too.

Closing your eyes, you finally let your hand dip down between your legs, your index finger brushing against your already swollen clit.

“Oh God.” You moan softly, and even more so when you find yourself dripping wet. It’s been months since you had a decent orgasm and that’s all you can think about.

With your free hand you take the toy between your legs, letting its prominent head rub over your slit before you gently insert it.

“Oh, God!” You scream, as it rubs you exactly where you need it. You squeeze the sheets with your free hand as your hips push against the mattress, and you push the toy a little deeper.

With a feral scream ripping through your lips, you come unexpectedly, and so incredibly fast that you immediately throw the damn thing away in fear.

That thing is surely witchcraft!

“Oh my God!” You scream in your empty room as the toy hits the floor, and your inner walls continue to shiver, and clench around nothing. “Oh my God!”

Once the force of that first orgasm begins to fade away you realize that in your frenzy you completely relocated to a different part of your bed. And you’re squeezing the living hell out of a pillow but once the surprise, and slight terror of the strength of that orgasm is completely gone you decide that you want more.

Witchcraft or not.

…

It’s between your fifth or sixth orgasm that the door to your bedroom is kicked in, and your wife rushes inside with a gun in her hands, and the sight makes you come harder than any of the previous times did.

“Are you serious?” She half yells at your direction, but not even her anger is enough to wipe the smile off your face right now.

“I thought you were gonna be late.” You tell her, as your entire body shivers and you finally, set the toy on your nightstand.

You’ll clean everything up later. God, you’ll clean the entire house later. You’ll cook dinner, and arrange your wedding photo album too. You’ll bake cookies, and go visit your mother too.

“You weren’t picking up your phone. I thought something happened to you!” Natasha says, as she goes about your bedroom, gun still in her hands, swallowing thickly when her eyes can no longer ignore your naked body.

“Something did.” You smile goofily up at her. “I found the perfect dildo, Nat.” You chuckle, and she sits down on the edge of the bed, her upset slowly turning into amusement.

“You did, huh?” She asks, eyeing said item on the nightstand as she places her gun next to it. “I can’t believe you went shopping without me.”

“It was either that, or die of sexual frustration.” You point out.

“Come on.” She says as she looks away, and you grab her arm to pull her closer.

She leans forward willingly, her eyes taking in your chest, your lips, your glistening skin, and a spark runs in between your legs at the sight of her darkening gaze trained on your lips.

“You don’t think I’m sexually frustrated too?” She asks softly, her hot breath ghosting over your lips as she speaks. “You have no idea of how badly I want to fuck you right now.”

“Why don’t you?” You ask, as you pull her harder, and her full lips finally press against yours in a heated kiss.

Your breath leaves you when she kisses you like this, forceful and urgent, as if she wants to devour you. As if this is exactly what she wants to be doing now and forever.

“What if we hurt her?” She asks suddenly, and she’s already pulling back, a deep frown forming on her forehead. “What if something happens?”

“Natasha, stop it.” You order her, and her lips fall shut but the frown on her face doesn’t go away.

“I just don’t want to hurt her.”

“You’re hurting me!” You pointedly tell her. “I had to go to a sex shop today, on my own. I had to go and get something to masturbate with because my wife is too afraid of hurting our unborn child to even touch me with a ten foot pole.”

“You know I love you.” She tells you, pointedly too. “And I want you. You’re the only person I want to be with but...”

“When you say ‘but’ right there, Nat... fuck! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, or why I’m so horny lately. Maybe it has to do with the pregnancy or something, but damn it! I should be able to count on you. You’re my wife!”

“You can count on me.” She tells you, and you notice the hurt in her voice.

“No, Nat. I had to count on a girl named Jane who recommended I buy a freaking toy, and the reason why you’re seeing me naked right now is because you thought someone was attacking me.”

“That’s not - ” she trails off.

“That’s what it is.” You tell her, but not unkindly.

“I want you. I do.” She says as you sit up, and maneuver yourself onto her lap.

“Then show me.”

“Tell me you understand where I’m coming from, please.” She begs as you cup her face, and her hands fall on your waist before she’s touching every inch that she can reach.

“I do.” You assure her, and not because she needs to hear it but because you really do. You know how fiercely she loves you, and how uncontrollably she desires you. You know because she does show you in so many other ways that aren’t sex.

“I’m yours. Every part of me is yours. You know that, right?” She pleads to know, and God! You love her so much. Even though she’s denied you sex for the last couple of months, because of a fear that goes way deeper than what she’s letting on.

“You’re gonna be a great mom, Romanoff.” You grin down at her, and her green eyes spark with joy as her hands pull you harder against her.

“You just want to get laid.” She teases you, the mood changing once more.

“Sorry, babe. But you have to know that your mouth, and fingers have nothing on that little piece of heaven.” You tease her right back.

“Oh, really.” She taunts, and when you reach out to grab the toy from the nightstand she flips you, pinning your hands down on the mattress beneath her. “We’ll see about that.”

Ok, so maybe buying a toy, and using it home alone was part of a very meticulously thought out plan, and maybe that plan worked out perfectly for you.

…

#natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff

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alessiasfreckles · 3 months

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she's mine (georgia stanway x reader)

inspired by she's mine by eva westphal / life with your adhd girlfriend, georgia

warnings: none

a/n: this is in no way me saying that georgia stanway has adhd (or that she takes medication)!!!!! but as someone with adhd, it wouldn't surprise me if she does. also the bit about pronouncing words differently is word for word what i said to my girlfriend that made her ask me to marry her so

--------

I love her the days she forgets to text back Her phone is on silent, sometimes I get mad

“I’m sorry,” Georgia says when she comes through the front door. She’s biting her lip and her thumb and finger rub together, the way they do when she’s anxious.

“It’s okay,” you say simply. You can’t help but feel mildly annoyed, but you know she didn’t do it on purpose, and you know that being mad at her isn’t going to help, it’ll just make her feel worse.

“I just- my phone was on in my bag, and I thought I’d walk home since the weather is so nice for once, and I was listening to music and kind of zoned out and my phone was on silent and-” she rambles, trying to explain herself.

“G, it’s okay, I promise,” you hug her gently, and her body sags against yours.

“You’re not mad?” she asks, and her voice sounds so small, so unsure.

“No, baby, I’m not mad,” you tell her. “I was worried, that’s all. Normally you’re home by 4, but you weren’t, and you know how I get worried. But I’m not mad.”

You feel her nod against your shoulder, still wrapped in your arms. She pulls away just enough to be able to look at you, your arms still resting on her shoulders, hers around your waist.

“I’m sorry for making you worry,” she says. “I’ll try to remember to message you next time, or at least put my phone on loud so I notice if you message me or try to call me.”

“Thank you, baby,” you tell her, kissing her sweetly. “That’s all I need.”

I love her the weeks she can't get out of bed I love every curl, every hair on her head

“What if I quit?” she asks one day. She’s been having ‘bad brain days’, as she calls them, a lot lately. Constantly flip-flopping between having no energy and wanting to stay in bed, and being so restless she could scream.

“Quit?” you ask, drawing circles on her back as she lays next to you in bed.

“Quit football,” she mumbles into the pillow. “What if I just quit football?”

She’s not really asking that, and you know it. She just feels trapped at the moment. Understimulated and overwhelmed at the same time. Her brain needs action, excitement, something to focus on.

“You don’t want to quit,” you tell her, kindly. “I mean, it’d be okay if you did, but I don’t think you do, really. Do you?”

“No,” she sighs, and rolls over on the bed, starfishing. One arm is draped over you, and the smooth underside of her wrist absentmindedly rubs against the crook of your elbow. “I guess not.”

You can see her brain running a million miles an hour. “Do you want to talk about it?” you ask.

She shrugs. “I don’t know how. There’s too many thoughts, I don’t know how to put them into words, or how to start.”

“You can just say words. I’ll piece it together,” you tell her, and she flashes a smile at you, grateful for how well you understand her.

She thinks for a minute, quiet, and you wait patiently, knowing not to push her. She’ll start talking when she’s ready.

“I just want my brain to chill the fuck out,” she says finally, and all you can do is nod and press a kiss to her forehead.

I love her the nights she complains that she's cold But I'm always warm, so I give her my coat

“I don’t understand!” she exclaims, shivering slightly. “Why does it feel so cold? It’s not like it doesn’t get this cold in England, if anything, it’s warmer here! We’re much further south!”

You slip your coat off. You’ve lived here much longer than she has, you’ve gotten used to the weather. Plus, like any good German (or person living in Germany), you understand the importance of layering, so you usually have enough layers on to keep you warm, even without a coat.

She blushes when you help her slip into your coat. Grabbing the collar, you pull her in for a kiss, and when you pull away, she’s smiling.

“You know,” you say, tilting your head slightly. “I’m starting to think you just like wearing my coats.”

“Hm,” she hums, leaning forward to kiss you again. “Maybe.”

Oh, I even love her when she's running late I'm always on time so I'll work while I wait

You’re sitting in a café when your phone vibrates. Before you check it, you already know that it’s a message from Georgia.

sorry i’ll be there soon i promise!!!

If you had to guess, you’d say it was going to be about 15 minutes before she got to the café. You didn’t mind. You went to the café every Wednesday afternoon. She’d meet you there after training, sometimes earlier, sometimes later. At first, it had annoyed you. You felt like she was saying you weren’t important enough for her to prioritise. After a while, you realised how hard she was trying, and that it really wasn’t her fault. Her time blindness made it hard for her to realise how much time had passed, a couple minutes easily turning into half an hour. She would set timers, alarms, reminders, but most of the time her brain would just block them out. You’d grown to enjoy the time alone before she arrived, planning for it, bringing a book or a podcast.

Ten minutes after you received the message, the bell above the café door tinkles as she comes flying in. She slides into her seat at your usual table, the one in the corner by the window so you can people-watch.

“I’m sorry I’m late!” she says quickly. Her face is flushed and her hair is windswept, still slightly damp from showering after training. She frowns, remembering something the two of you had talked about, about saying thank you, rather than apologising. “Wait, no. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“I’ll always wait for you,” you tell her, and she smiles.

She is funny and clever and kind She says whatever pops in her mind, oh And she's so fucking weird, that when she's with me I'm laughing most of the time And she's mine, she's mine

“Have you ever thought about how weird it is that we pronounce words the way we do?” she asks, and you blink at her, sleepily. She’s sat up in bed, looking wide awake.

“Babe, it’s 7:30 in the morning,” you say, eyes watering as you hold back a yawn.

“Good morning,” she says, kissing you. “Anyway. Have you ever thought about it?”

“Uh, not really,” you sit up, joining her, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. “How long have you been awake?”

“Mh, like, an hour? I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“Oof, I’m sorry.”

She waves a hand and keeps talking, undeterred. “Like, imagine if we pronounced pineapple like Minneapolis. Pin-ee-a-pol-is. Or what if Dwayne was pronounced like Kanye. Dwan-ye. Actually, I guess that one doesn’t work. The ‘y’ is in the wrong place.” she says, frowning.

You burst out laughing.

“What?” she says.

“I love you,” you tell her, and kiss her until she can’t even remember how to pronounce her own name properly.

I love her when she forgets to plan ahead I love her when she repeats what she's just said

“Oh, did I tell you that I’m starting on Thursday?” Georgia says as she rummages through the drawer of her bedside table.

“That’s great, baby!” you say. She starts most games now, but you’re still filled with pride every time she walks out onto the pitch.

“Shit,” she says, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

She holds up her medication bottle, upside down. “I forgot to order a refill.”

“Ah,” you say. You can see her initial frown of realisation turning into one of frustration. “It’s okay, baby. We’ll call and order a new one as soon as the doctor’s opens.”

She nods silently, still frowning.

“What are you thinking?” you ask, gently, and she shrugs.

“Feel stupid. This happens nearly every month,” she says, voice small and angry.

You hug her tightly, staying there until you feel her tense body start to relax against you.

“You’re not stupid,” you tell her, voice calm but serious. “You’re not. I promise.”

She huffs a little, sagging. “But I always do this.”

“That doesn’t make you stupid. It just means that your brain isn’t very good at remembering things like this,” you say, rubbing circles on her back.

She nods, frustration and anger quickly ebbing away. “Hey, did I tell you that I’m starting in the game on Thursday?” she asks, perking up, and you giggle.

Oh, I even love her when she's fast asleep I'll keep her warm when we're under the sheets

“Chilly,” she mumbles into your pyjama top as she spoons you, holding you tightly.

“You’re just using me for my warmth,” you tease, and you can feel her nodding against your back. You squeal when she puts her cold feet on the back of your legs, and her body shakes slightly as she laughs.

“You’re so nice and warm,” she sighs, wriggling to try and get closer to you.

“You know, you’d probably be warmer if you wore pyjamas,” you tell her, smiling, already knowing what she’s going to say.

“Gross,” she says. “I’ll feel all trapped and sweaty and suffocated. Ugh, and what if there’s itchy tags? No, thank you.”

“You know, you can cut the tags out,” you say, laughing.

She shakes her head against you. “No, thank you,” she repeats, voice thick with sleep.

You wake up during the night to pee, and when you crawl back into bed, you look at the sleeping form of your girlfriend. She’s curled in a ball, the duvet pulled tightly around her. As you wriggle under the covers and wrap an arm around her waist, her back against your front, she lets out a content sigh, leaning into your warmth.

She is funny and clever and kind, oh She says whatever pops in her mind, oh And she's so fucking weird, that when she's with me I'm laughing most of the time And she's mine, she's mine

“Oh, baby, are you crying?” you ask, looking over to Georgia, who’s sniffling, curled up in the corner of the sofa.

“No,” she says, looking at you with tears streaming down her face.

“Darling,” you say, holding an arm out so she can cuddle into your side. “It’s okay! It’ll all be okay!”

“B- but,” she sniffs, wiping a tear away. “He doesn’t know that! He’s just a little baby!”

She gestures to the TV, where Brother Bear is playing. Somehow, she’s never seen the film, and as it’s one of your favourites, you decided it was finally time for her to see it.

You look at her, fresh tears welling up in her eyes as she watches the little bear, and you can’t help but giggle, heart overflowing with love and adoration.

“Are you laughing at me?” she asks, but you can hear laughter in her voice, despite the tears.

“No,” you say, pressing your lips together firmly, body shaking as you try to contain it.

“You are!” she gasps dramatically, looking at you with wide eyes. “I can’t believe I’m crying and you’re just laughing at me!”

You poke the corners of her mouth, which are wiggling up and down as she tries to keep herself from laughing. She swats your hand away, but it’s too much and she can’t keep it in any longer. You both dissolve into a fit of giggles, and she has to wipe new tears away, but this time they’re from laughing so hard.

“See!” she says, in between laughter. “Now I’m crying again!”

She can’t keep a straight face, though, and neither can you.

When you’ve both finally calmed down, you can’t help but kiss her. “I love you,” you mumble into the kiss, and she smiles against your lips.

“I love you, too,” she replies, eyes sparkling brightly.

And I see her smoking a cigarette Dancing through fountains you almost fell in You're drinking red bull at night when I can't have my coffee past 12pm And I'm so fucking grateful for every bullet I dodged to get to you Yeah, I'm so thankful for every moment I've got with you

You’re walking through a park in Munich on a summer evening, enjoying the warm air, when you come across a playground. There’s a big rope pyramid in the middle, surprisingly tall, considering it’s supposedly made for children.

“Hey, babe,” Georgia says. “Bet you I can climb up that in 10 seconds.”

“10 seconds?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah!” she nods enthusiastically. “From the start to the top. Easy.”

“Hm,” Pretending to think about it, you squint at the pyramid. “What do I get if you don’t manage it?”

“A kiss.”

You roll your eyes. “I’ll get a kiss anyway.”

“Fine, I’ll put away the laundry tomorrow,” she says and you hum, not convinced. Her eyes brighten. “And I’ll do that thing you like in bed when we get home. You know, with the vibrator, and-”

“Okay, that’s enough,” you say, quickly looking around to make sure no one was nearby. “Fine. If you win, what do you get?”

“A kiss. And a massage when we get home,” she grins.

“Deal.”

“Can you time it on your phone?” she asks eagerly, bouncing up and down on her feet, and you laugh. “But don’t start it until I say go!”

“Okay, okay!” you chuckle, and she bounds towards the pyramid. She waits at the bottom, watching you, waiting for you to have your phone out.

“You ready?” she calls out, and you nod, giving her a thumbs up. “Okay, now!”

You start the timer as she scales the pyramid, reaching the top with 3 seconds to spare.

“7 seconds!” you yell up to her, and she lets out an excited whoop, pumping her fist into the air. She stands up briefly, then sits down on the rope again. You watch her look around, frowning. “You okay, baby?” you call.

“Yeah, I, um,” she says, running a hand through her hair, and says something so quietly that you can’t hear it.

“What?”

“I- I don’t know how to get down!” she yells, and you can see the blush on her cheeks from where you’re stood.

“What do you mean? Just climb down, like you climbed up,” you call.

“I can’t! It’s too high!”

You watch her frowning, arms folded across her chest, when you have a realisation. “Wait, baby, are you scared of heights?”

“Um,” she says, not looking at you. “Maybe?”

“Okay, hang on.”

You climb the pyramid, and when you reach the top, she clings onto your hand. Slowly, the two of you make your way down together, you telling her where to put her feet. When you’re on the ground, she looks at the ground sheepishly, cheeks still pink from embarrassment.

“I may have, um, gotten overexcited,” she admits, and you laugh.

“You? Overexcited? No, surely not!” you tease, and she rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” she mutters, not meeting your eyes, and you take her hand and pull her close, kissing her until she forgets about the fact that she needed your help to climb down.

You are funny and clever and kind, oh You say whatever pops in your mind, oh And you're so fucking weird, that when you're with me I'm laughing most of the time And you're mine, you're mine Mine

#georgia stanway #georgia stanway x reader #woso #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #georgia stanway fanfic #georgia stanway imagine #hannah writes fics

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forever-rogue · 5 months

Note

hello, lovely! i've been re-reading your works like CRAZY, you're so talented! 🩷 can i pretty please request for a friends-to-lovers one with eddie where the reader's ex suddenly comes back to her life and tries to win her back, and eddie realizes his feelings for the reader? i LIVE for jealous!eddie too sksksks thank you! 🩷

AN | Nothing good happens when the ex comes to town, right? 🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Modern!Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.5k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Guess what,” you walked into Eddie’s cozy coffee shop, waving at a few regulars as you made your way over to the counter. He stopped what he was doing and looked at you with expectant eyes, a lazy little half smile on his features, “hiya!”

“Hi sweetheart,” he leaned onto the counter, resting his chin in his hands as he looked at you gently, “lemme guess…chicken butt?”

“Very funny,” you leaned in and kissed his cheek before you reached over and helped yourself to one of his brownies. He always saved at least one for you, which was something that always made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, “but no.”

“Do tell then,” he grinned as he turned back to the espresso maker, “gingerbread flat white?”

“Ooh, yes please,” you watched him work in awe before he came back over to you, setting the cup carefully in front of you, “no, the exciting thing that happened to me was that I saw August today!”

Eddie’s face dropped immediately as his jaw clenched, “August.”

“Yes!” you looked happy and somehow that made his stomach churn, “he came into the office today to consult with one of the designers and I saw him when I was leaving! He had no clue I worked there and I had no clue he was there.”

“Your ex,” he pointed out as you lifted up the cup and started to drink the delicious latte, “August, your ex.”

“Yes,” you raised an eyebrow before sighing lightly, “we’re still…well I wouldn’t say friends. But we needed things amicably if you don’t remember.”

“You cried over him for weeks,” he almost shouted but quickly dropped his voice as he narrowed his eyes, “he broke your heart!”

“Yes, he broke up with me, but it wasn’t over anything bad,” you cringed when you remembered that you really had been upset when August had broken up with you, “we just weren’t good together. That’s all.”

“I never liked him,” that was the understatement of the century. Eddie didn’t just dislike August, he hated and loathed him entirely. You’d broken your heart and Eddie couldn’t stand that. Just like he hated the face that he was dating you in the first place. Eddie had been in love with you for as long as he could remember. Probably since the day he’d met you over ten years ago, “he’s always been a little bit…scrungly.”

“Scrungly?” you repeated, almost choking on the coffee in between your giggles, “what does that even mean?”

“I don’t know, just like scrungly,” he flailed his arms dramatic, “either way I don’t like him.”

“I’m well aware, Edward,” you reached over and gave his hand a squeeze, “but it is what it is…and we’re going hang out and go bowling soon.”

“You’re what?” he looked like he was going to explode and you couldn’t help but laugh nervously. You’d always wondered why he didn’t like August but he never really had a solid reason. You figured it was just some weird guy thing, “why are you hanging out with him?!”

“Because he asked if I wanted to hang out and there’s no reason not to,” you straightened up and grabbed your coffee, “look, Eddie, I know you mean well, but you don’t have to worry. It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. We’re just going to hang out once and if it’s completely terrible I never have to see him again, and if it goes well maybe we can be friends. Okay?”

“Yeah,” he lied right through his teeth, “okay.”

“I’ve gotta go,” you took a step back and offered him a small smile, “see you tomorrow for movie and pizza night?”

“Of course,” like he would miss a chance to spend time with you, “love you.”

“Love you too, Eddie,” you promised. If only he knew how very much, “thanks for the coffee.”

“Anytime.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey!” you looked up from your phone when you heard the sound of August’s cheery voice. Tucking your phone into your pocket, you walked over and met him halfway to say hello. He pulled you in for a friendly hug, “you look great. It’s good to see you again. Really good.”

“It’s good to see you too Auggie,” you felt your face warm up but decided to ignore it as you walked up towards the bowling alley. You reminded yourself that this was a friendly outing and not a date, “I can’t believe you’re back in Indy now.”

“I can’t believe you work as an interior designer,” he held the door open and you were immediately overwhelmed by the sounds of people bowling, talking, and laughing. You looked at him with a shy smile and shrugged. It hadn’t been a career you would have thought of either, but Eddie had nudged in the direction after you’d helped him design his cafe. Besides becoming friends with Eddie, it was one of the best designs you’d ever made.

“It just sort of happened but I love it,” you walked towards the counter to get your shoes and a lane, “you remember Eddie, right? He helped me get there, he was a huge supporter.”

You both gave your shoe sizes to the bored looking clerk and when he told you the price for everything, you moved to reach for your wallet but August gently pushed your hand away, “I’ve got this.”

“Okay,” you gave him a starry eyed smile as he grabbed both pairs of shoes and started to head towards the lane that was now reserved for you. The bowling alley always had a very distinct smell but it was so nostalgic to be there, “I haven’t been bowling in forever. This was a good idea! I think the last time I went was a couple of years ago with Eddie.”

“Eddie,” you couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking from the tone in his voice, “you’re still friends with him?”

“Of course,” you finished pulling on your shoes and looked at him curiously, “he’s my best friend.”

“He’s in love with you,” okay. That was definitely annoyance in his voice and you had no clue why, “I’ll be honest with you, it was one of the reasons we broke up in the first place. Sometimes it felt like you were dating him, not me.”

“I…he’s not in love with me,” your mind was reeling at what he had said and you couldn’t help but wonder - what if? What if Eddie really was in love with you? No…you weren’t even going to bother to entertain that thought, “you broke up with me because of Eddie?”

“It wasn’t entirely him,” he dropped his voice and looked at you sweetly, “but people change and grow, you know? You never know what could happen.”

There was definitely a suggestive tone to his voice that was not lost on you. You only managed a small smile in return before clambering nervously to pick up your bowling ball. You felt his fingers brush along your back as you moved, causing goosebumps to erupt all over your skin.

“You never know,” you agreed nervously, voice almost a squeak as you went to take your first shot. That did have you thinking though - would you want to get back together with him? You had never really thought about it…but the idea wasn’t all that bad either. It wasn’t like people were lining up out the door to ask you out…sometimes you had to take what you could get.

A part of you was excited by the prospect - he was a good looking, nice guy that you did love once upon a time. On the other hand, you didn’t want to open that can of worms and let anything happen that could end with another broken heart. Plus there was the issue of Eddie. Realistically it was a non-issue. But you knew that your heart would always long for and yearn for Eddie. You loved him, you’d known that for a long time, but you always knew that nothing would ever happen or change between the two of you.

August continued to be friendly enough and you didn’t think anything of it, but as the night progressed, you could tell that things had changed. You hadn’t done anything, not to your knowledge anyway, to act flirty or make it seem like you wanted anything but friendship with him. It was his comments about Eddie that had you experiencing a feeling of unease. The way he’d talked about him just didn’t sit right with you.

By the time the two of you felt the bowling alley and parted with August pressing a kiss to your cheek, you’d realized that this definitely had been a date.

Fuck. You really hadn’t expected this to happen.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Ever since the night you’d gone out with August, Eddie was behaving oddly towards you. You couldn’t quite place it but you hated the idea that he was any bit mad or annoyed with you.

You’d been texting with August back and forth, and you were both following each other again on social media. You’d made plans for a casual lunch date soon; it was since Eddie had learned about your second outing that he’d been acting weird. You were pretty sure that he was just downright ignoring you. But you weren’t about to let that stop you from being his friend.

“Hey there,” you walked into the shop when you knew it would be slow and he’d be there. You were almost positive that he’d been avoiding you and had his employees cover for him when you came to the shop. Eddie’s face paled as soon as he saw you, but he still managed a tight lipped smile, “everything alright, Eddie? I feel you’ve been…avoiding me.”

“I haven’t been…I’ve just been busy,” he shrugged noncommittally as he went back to scrub at the counter, “that’s all.”

“You’ve always been a horrible liar, Edward,” you walked up to the counter and offered him what you hoped was a reassuring smile, “did I do something wrong?”

“I…no. You didn’t,” he still wouldn’t meet your eyes but pushed a muffin towards you. Of course he still would save your favorite for you, “it’s nothing.”

“Funny,” you willed him to look at you but the boy still refused, “it doesn’t feel like it. Ever since I hung out with August you’ve been…weird.”

"You don't get it, do you?" He sighed in frustration, tossing his rag to the side and waving his hands around dramatically as you looked at him in confusion. He inhaled and exhaled deeply before brushing his wild curls out of his face, "I want you. I want to date you. I'm in love with you."

"Oh," it came out more as a small squeak than anything as you looked at him to make sure you'd heard him correctly. Eddie looked close to tears as he waited for some kind of response from you. You pointed at yourself before whispering, "me?"

"Yes," he nodded seriously, "you. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but it's the truth. And I just wanted to get it out there."

"Oh," this time realization set in. Eddie Munson was in love with you. Not some other girl like you'd always assumed, "you're in love with me."

"Yes. Yes," he felt so nervous he was surprised he didn't just barf then and there, "listen-"

"I'm in love with you too,” your voice was quiet and shaky, but Eddie heard you loud and clear. When he didn’t say anything at first, you completely freaked out and ran through the back of the cafe and into the chilly evening. He followed after you immediately and didn’t stop still he caught up.

He perked up and looked at you from under his lashes, studying your face to make sure he’d heard you correctly. You offered a small, shy smile along with a shrug, “I’m…nervous. I dunno, I kind of always thought you knew but you never said because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings or let me down.”

“I - ugh, what…I’m - sweetheart,” the nickname sounded so sugary sweet now that you knew the true intentions behind it, “if I had any clue that you felt the same way, I would have said something long ago. I should have just done that anyway.”

“Oh,” your cheeks warmed up, a combination of nerves and the chilly of the winter air as you looked at the pretty boy. You were stopped from saying anything else as big, flat snowflakes starting coming down on the two of you. A grin spread across your face as you held up your hand to catch a few flakes in your hand, “it’s snowing.”

Eddie watched you in awe, enamored by every little bit of you. He reached over and put his hand on your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek. Your breath hitched in your throat as you look at him expectantly. You knew what was coming but at the same time you didn’t want to assume anything, “I really want to kiss you.”

“I really want you to kiss me too,” you grinned as you leaned in closer, meeting him halfway until your lips met his. It was a sweet, slow thing, tender but hungry at the same time. Both of you had been wanting this for way too long, and now your dreams were finally coming true.

A first kiss in the middle of the first snow of the season. How could it get any more perfect?

Eddie took your face in his hands, and peppered your face in kisses, which only caused you to giggle, “c’mon pretty girl. Let’s get inside and get some hot chocolate.”

“That sounds perfect,” you reached for his hand and laced your fingers together and pulled him back towards the cafe, “c’mon handsome.”

“But first promise me one thing,” he stopped you nervously as you raised an eyebrow at him, “promise me you won’t see him again. He’s the worst.”

“I promise,” you definitely weren’t planning on ever seeing him again, “it’s only you for me, Eddie.”

“Yeah,” he agreed softly, “you��re it for me too, sweetheart. Only you.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #joseph quinn #st

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slytherinshua · 1 month

Text

SLEEP IS THE BEST MEDICINE

genre. fluff. sickfic. warnings. reader is sick (sore throat/coughing). mention of food. pairing. seungkwan x fem!reader. wc. 1.4k. request. no. a/n. for @wheeboo who is sick and so i had to write her a sickfic smh (i love her sm pls feel better soon lovely)

As soon as you heard the buzzing of your phone breaking through your attempt at sleep, panic filled your body. One glance at the caller ID confirmed everything, and you shut your eyes tightly, trying to muster up all your energy and a half-decent attempt to get your normal voice back before you answered.

Of course your boyfriend would be calling to check where you were. You were supposed to meet him 30 minutes ago. Not only had you forgotten all about the date you had planned days in advance, but you had also managed to get sick since the last time you had seen him (and forgot to tell him about it).

Seungkwan’s voice sounded cheery as soon as you picked up the call, “Hey, love! Is the traffic bad or something? I’m at the restaurant— people keep giving me looks cause they think I’m dining alone.”

A small smile crept onto your face as you imagined the scene, guessing that your boyfriend probably wore a pout on his face just by the tone of his voice.

“About that… I kind of forgot?” You started to explain, your voice coming out in a painful rasp even as you tried your best to clear your throat.

“Are you sick? You sound awful.” Seungkwan asked hurriedly, completely ignoring what you were trying to tell him. You tried to think of a good excuse to give him, but the silence in response to his question already gave Seungkwan his answer.

“You are sick, aren’t you! Why didn’t you tell me?” He scolded lightly. You could imagine vividly the way he usually pursed his lips in disapproval, and a sigh left your lips. You had really been looking forward to the date, now that you remembered that it had been scheduled. It had been weeks since you spent more than an hour or so with Seungkwan, and you missed him so badly.

“I’m sorry, Kwannie. Can we reschedule it? I still want to go with you.” You said softly, clearing your throat between sentences in failed attempts to stop the uncomfortable scratching every time you talked.

A dinner date with your boyfriend at a seaside restaurant was exactly what you wished you could be doing right now. If only you hadn’t gotten sick at exactly the wrong time, you would be enjoying a fancy meal across from him right about now. You knew the night would have led to a walk along the shoreline under the moonlight— something that you never got tired of. And it would have been chilly enough for you to justify stealing Seungkwan’s jacket (you really just loved it because it smelled like him, and was so perfectly oversized on you).

“Of course. That’s not even a question.” He replied with a tsk, wondering why you would even have to ask that with such a regretful tone. The night certainly wasn’t ruined for him, even though he had been looking forward to the date as much as you had. “I’ll come over. We can still eat dinner together, okay?”

Your heart melted at his suggestion, though you were tentative to accept immediately. Logically, you should probably stay away from him just in case he got sick too; but you wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and sleep. You opened your mouth to start protesting, your mind finally winning over your heart, but then you remembered how stubborn your boyfriend was. Even if you forbid him from coming in your front door, he would probably scale the side of the house and sneak in through one of the windows just to get to you.

With a cough, and a small ‘okay’, you hung up the call and let your head hit the pillow again. You swiped over to your phone camera, frowning when you saw how you looked. Seungkwan would probably arrive still in his date outfit, looking as charming and handsome as he always did— and here you were looking like a complete mess under your blankets. From your tired eyes to your tangled hair to the patches of skin that were breaking out on your face due to the cold weather, you would look almost disgraceful next to your boyfriend.

You itched to get up and put on makeup before he arrived, but you knew he would notice right away and be absolutely appalled. You were too tired to put in the effort either way. It was silly for you to still care so much about how you looked even after dating Seungkwan for years, but you still wanted to look pretty for him. You forced your mind to give yourself a little grace about your appearance. It was absurd to expect to look your best while sick.

Seungkwan arrived sooner than you expected, announcing his presence at the door in a sing-song voice. You croaked out that you were in your bedroom as loudly as you could with how painful it was to talk and hoped that he was able to hear you. He knocked on your door a mere second later, opening it slowly. He had a goofy loving smile on his face and a plastic bag in one hand. You couldn’t help but mirror his smile as soon as you saw him.

“I got some soup on the way. It’s supposed to help with colds.” He explained eagerly, setting down the bag on your bedside table and taking out a large container of soup. He opened up the lid to let it start cooling before turning his attention back to you.

“My sweet girl. I only left you for 1 week and you still managed to get sick in that time.” He teased fondly, sitting on the edge of your bed where he could easily reach to tuck away the hair that fell over your forehead. You only frowned in response, trying to rest your voice as much as possible. It was easier to communicate non-verbally when your boyfriend could see all your facial expressions.

“Sit up a bit so I can feed you.” Seungkwan instructed with a smile, grabbing the container of soup and spooning out some to blow on.

“I can feed myself.” You whispered.

Seungkwan locked eyes with you, “I know, but let me feed you anyway. You never let me do anything for you.” You scoffed lightly at his response, although it made your chest buzz with warmth. It was clear that the opportunity to pamper and take care of you excited Seungkwan. Knowing your boyfriend, it didn’t surprise you.

The soup was soothing on your sore throat, and just the fact that Seungkwan was right there feeding you each spoonful gave you the energy to actually finish the bowl. He told you about his past week as he fed you, making sure that each bit of soup was sufficiently cooled before it reached your mouth. He gave you a proud smile once you had eaten the last bit of soup, despite how unimpressive the feat had been— certainly not one deserving of such praise.

“You look tired.” Seungkwan commented softly, setting aside the empty container of soup back on the table and adjusting your blanket to cover your entire body again. You hummed a little in response, already letting your eyes flutter closed. As soon as you felt the tiniest bit of motion, though, your hand flew out to clutch your boyfriend’s shirt tightly.

“Don’t leave.” You pleaded, earning light laughter from your boyfriend.

“I was only going to go wash out the container, but I guess that’ll have to wait.” He already knew exactly what you wanted just by your eyes. He wasn’t one to deny you anything when you were already feeling under the weather, so he shifted over to the other side of the bed where there was space for him to lie down and draped an arm around your body.

“If I get sick from this, you have to take care of me, too, okay?”

“Okay.” You closed your eyes again, shifting closer to him half a centimetre at a time in an attempt to be discreet. Of course, he noticed right away and pulled you closer before you were even halfway done closing the distance.

“Sleep. Sleep is the best medicine.” He urged you quietly. It was already a million times easier to fall asleep next to him, but as soon as he started humming old lullabies, the task became almost effortless. You were curled up in his chest before too long; the sound of his singing making its way into your dreams.

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @minholing,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @haecien,, @amara-mars,, @okshu

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mysaintkitten · 5 months

Text

Cabin Fever | Neil Lewis x fem!reader

prompt: your best friends brother is a bit hot .. and a bit creepy (NSFW, MINORS DNI!!!)

WARNINGS: pervy/pushy neil, DUBCON/NONCON (not sure which, but be warned), forced proximity, implied age gap (just by a few years everyone is legal), oral and fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (p in v), gaslighting (? lol?)

*not proofread*

your best friends older brother is quite .. interesting. he’s never been bad towards you, but he’s always been a little weird. throughout the entirety of your friendship, you’ve never had to be alone with neil for more than a few minutes, until now.

your best friend invited you to come along to her family’s cabin with her for the weekend. obviously, you accepted, and eagerly packed your things and headed on your way. the trip was going well, you and her discussed weekend plans until abruptly her parents came in and told her they had forgotten some vital things.

it was all sort of a blur, for some reason your best friend had to leave you behind with her brother as she and her parents go to retrieve whatever they’ve forgotten. great.

so, you sit on the couch and read a magazine. the cabins in a very secluded area so there’s no service and thus no point in using your phone. as you read, neil leaves you alone. at least for a little while. until eventually, you see him begin to approach you in your peripheral.

he sits on the opposite side of the couch, sighing as he lounged back against the soft material. you try to ignore him, loudly flipping the page on the magazine. you can feel him staring at you, his gaze burning into you. impulsively, you glance up at him and meet his gaze. the moment you make eye contact, neil takes it as a sign to start talking.

“so they left you here with me, huh?”

“yeah, guess so.” you respond politely before bringing your eyes back down to the magazine.

a few moments of silence pass before neil speaks up again, “you’re over 18 now, right?”

you pause, why does he care? why is your age crossing his mind?

“yeah .. i’ve been legal for quite some time now.” you murmur flatly, knowing that he’s still staring you down.

“where’s all the time gone?” he laughs, “i remember when you and my sister were little, playing with dolls and pretending to be mermaids. but you’re not doing that anymore, you’re a big girl now.”

jesus, could this get any more awkward?

“uh .. heh .. yup .. all grown up.” you chuckle, anxiously flipping through the pages. you’re not even reading the magazine at this point, you’re just keeping your gaze on it and hoping that neil will inevitably stand up and leave you alone.

“all grown up ..” neil repeats quietly, inching closer to you. “whatcha reading?”

“it’s .. uh .. just some magazine i found ..” you mumble, trying to get back into the flow of reading. it’s difficult, your brain isn’t absorbing any of the material since you’re too fixated on neil being so up close and personal.

“ah ..” he hums with a slight nod, scooting closer again. at this point, he’s not touching you, but you can feel his body heat radiating off of him. “i was kind of in the mood to bake some cookies .. and i was thinking maybe you could be my little helper.”

you bring your gaze back up to him with a bit of a confused look on your face. “you packed ingredients for cookies?”

neil chuckles, “we planned to make them as a family, but why not make them now? it could be a nice surprise, don’t you think?”

“yeah .. i guess so ..” you reply meekly, shutting the magazine slowly.

“and your help would be appreciated.” neil leans in to add, “you’re the guest, it would be the polite thing to do.”

he’s right. it would be a nice gesture to her parents, a little ‘thank you’ for allowing you to come along. so, against your better judgment, you comply.

“okay, i’ll help out.” you sigh as you place the magazine on the coffee table in front of you, looking over at neil beside you. he’s smiling, “good girl, let’s get a move on then.”

you try your hardest to ignore his usage of ‘good girl.’ if you were being honest, neil isn’t ugly. not in the slightest. and the fact that he’s praising you? you couldn’t help but get a little bit excited. but his behaviour mixed with the fact that he’s your best friends brother made it difficult for you to come to terms with the attraction.

so, without acknowledging his words, you stand up and follow him to the kitchen. neil asks for your assistance in grabbing some ingredients and utensils and you politely oblige. as you place the utensils down onto the counter, you drop a couple in the process.

you lean down to grab it but neil stops you, “i got it.”

as neil crouches down to pick the utensil up, he peaks under your skirt, where he gets a glimpse of some lacy panties that leave little to the imagination.

“who are you wearing these for?” neil chuckles as he lifts the back of your skirt, exposing your ass and panties to him. you quickly swat his arm away and turn to face him. “no one!” you defend, feeling your cheeks burn as you hold down the back of your skirt. neil rises to his feet with a cheeky grin on his face.

“you sure? cause ..” neil pries as he lifts up the front of your skirt, smirking at the new view he’s getting. you smack his hand away again and force your skirt down again, “stop!” you squeak, feeling your heart race faster.

“what’s the harm in getting a little peak?” neil questions, as if he’s actually confused as to why you don’t want him to look under your skirt.

“because .. i .. because ..” you stutter as your cheeks flush harder, “i shouldn’t have to explain this to you!”

neil just chuckles and creeps closer. you attempt to walk away, but you feel the edge of the countertop meet the small of your back. you feel your heart begin to pound as he essentially corners you.

“you can’t wear panties like that and expect me to not get a little curious, baby.” he purrs as his body becomes flush against yours while he places his face into your neck, “come on, let me see what’s underneath.”

“n-no, neil, stop-“ you whine as you weakly attempt to push him away. your mind is put off by his inability to take no for an answer, but your body is becoming hot and bothered. “let’s get back to the cookies, okay?”

neil tuts and shakes his head, letting out a small pathetic whine from within your neck. “oh, but i don’t want the cookies anymore, i’m hungry for something else now ..” he groans as he runs his hand up your exposed thigh, giving you chills.

“neil ..” you whimper as his hand sneaks higher and higher up your thigh, the pads of his fingers are dangerously close to your clothed cunt. they dance around your upper inner thighs as he taunts you. “please don’t.”

“just let me see then we can go back to baking.” neil pulls his head out to respond, that same stupid smirk plastered on his face. you really don’t want to, but if showing him will end this, you might as well do it.

you gulp before responding, “okay, fine, i’ll show you.”

neil licks his lips and steps back. he doesn’t give you enough room to run away, but he gives you enough space to show him your cunt. as you begin to lift the hem of your skirt, he stops you.

“wait, wait ..”

for a moment, your heart begins to relax, maybe he’s come back to his senses.

“get up on the counter, i want a good look.”

oh, never mind.

the anxiety sets back in since it never truly left and you hesitantly sit up on the counter, thighs pressed together as you attempt to muster up the courage to spread them for neil.

neil’s patience quickly wears thin as he loudly sighs while rolling his eyes. “do i have to do it for you?”

before you can respond, neil forces your thighs a part and pulls your panties to the side, immediately exposing yourself to him. you gasp at the cold air and abrupt exposure and attempt to shut your legs, but neil doesn’t give in.

“oh, baby ..” neil nearly moans at the sight as he spreads your lips apart with his index and middle finger. you gasp loudly, he never asked to touch, he only wanted to see- or so you thought.

“neil, stop! y-you didn’t ask to touch-“ you beg as you attempt to close your legs again, neil still won’t budge. your face is burning with embarrassment, the last thing you wanted was for him to see that his perverted little comments were getting you worked up.

“you expected me to see this wet little cunt of yours and you thought i wouldn’t touch it? that’s just stupid, sweet girl.” neil chuckles as he toys with your folds, spreading your slick around in awe. you attempt to push neil away, but he just retaliates by diving between your legs, his tongue eagerly lapping you up before suckling on your clit.

you moan involuntarily and quickly snap your hand up to cover your mouth. the gesture felt good, but you repeatedly said no and pushed him away. the logical side of you still wanted him to stop, but the other half wanted him to give you more.

“aw, feels so good, huh?” neil teases from between your legs, placing sloppy kisses against your sensitive clit. you shake your head, yes it feels good, but this is wrong, this is so fucking wrong.

“no, n-no neil, stop.” your voice cracks as you beg, the pleasure clearly taking its toll on you. he just hums, resuming his licking and sucking. you’re shocked at how good he is at this, neil sort of gave off incel vibes, where’d he learn how to eat pussy?

neil pulls back and huffs, spreading your lips apart again. then, almost as if on cue, you feel a string of your arousal slowly spill out from your opening and drip onto the counter.

“look at that ..” neil purrs, “your cunts drooling for me, pretty girl.”

“no, it’s not ..” you attempt to deny despite feeling the arousal burning between your legs, you just want this to be over. neil shakes his head while smirking.

“yes, it is, baby. i bet it’s all loose for me now too, isn’t it?” neil decides as he easily slides his middle finger inside you, groaning in approval at the sensation. you whine and grip the counter top, wondering how far is this truly going to go. what if your best friend walks in right now and sees this? what if her parents see this?

“god .. you need some cock, baby ..” neil claims as he lazily fucks you with the digit, you bite down on your bottom lip in attempt to silence yourself. neil notices this and clicks his tongue, “i know how much you like it, no point in trying to pretend anymore.”

“i don’t like it!” you plead, despite it being partially untrue, you still try to stand your ground.

“if you don’t like it ..” neil questions as he slowly inserts a second digit, “then why is your pussy basically begging for me to fill it up?”

the slight stretch makes your breathing more ragged, “it’s .. it’s the body’s natural response ..”

neil just scoffs as he watches you drench his fingers in your arousal, “right, was it your ‘body’s natural response’ to wear slutty panties, too?”

“n-no! i just-“ you start before he pulls his fingers out, leaving you feeling hollow. the peace doesn’t last for long, neil almost immediately begins to unzip his pants and pull them down. as he tugs down his boxers, his flushed cock springs free. you immediately look away, everything suddenly becoming all too real.

as you look away, you suddenly feel neil’s raw tip against your entrance. your eyes go wide and your mouth goes dry, “wait, neil, wait wait!” you plead as neil thrusts into you with no resistance. you whine as he bottoms out, he groans in response.

“look how easy that was, sweet girl. your cunt needed this.” neil coos sweetly as he rolls his hips back out, just to quickly thrust them back in. with each thrust you feel the air being punched out of your lungs. you don’t want to, but you physically can’t help but moan.

“that’s it .. good girl ..” neil praises as he grips your hip with one of his hands. you lean back against your palms as he fucks into you, your clothed tits recoiling each time his hips meet with yours.

“who knew you’d grow up to be such a whore.” neil groans as he brings his free hand up to your chest, running his thumb along your hardening nipple through your shirt. your legs twitch in response. you wanted to shout, kick him away, but you couldn’t. it felt too good. too disgustingly good.

“‘m .. ngh .. ‘m not a whore ..” you defend, although your breathy and fucked out tone is rather unconvincing. neil removes his hand from your hip and hooks it under your knee, keeping his other hand on your chest as he fucks into you rougher.

“n-neil, please-“ you moan, you want to say ‘please stop’, but neil’s cock is unexpectedly hitting all the right places. neil chuckles as his jaw hangs slack, “moan my name again, baby. god your pussy feels like fucking heaven.”

“s-stop-“ you mumble as he harshly grips your tit, smacking it soon after. the smack causes you to wince and involuntarily clench around him, making neil purr.

“stop?” he chuckles breathily, “how am i supposed to stop when your cunts so warm, wet, ‘n inviting?”

your body shivers at neil’s crude words, at this point you’ve accepted that he won’t stop, so you just hope this will end as soon as possible. as you screw your eyes shut and attempt to distract yourself from what’s happening, you feel his thumb press up against your clit.

you whimper as your eyes open back up, glancing between your legs to see neil rubbing your sensitive nub as he continues to thrust into you. all that can be heard through the kitchen is skin slapping against skin, your opening squelching lewdly around neil’s cock, and heavy breathing.

you hate how good it feels. you hate how close you are, you hate how neil knows how much he’s impacting you.

“you’re so much easier to manage when you’ve got a cock in you.” neil let’s out a shaky laugh, you can tell he’s getting close too. “how long has it been since someone’s fucked you this good?”

you don’t respond, the last thing you want to do is give him even more satisfaction. however, neil interrupts your silence in another way.

“don’t tell me no one’s ever given you a good fucking before. do you not give it up easy? you treat your pretty little pussy like a prize?” neil panted, loving the idea of being one of few that has gotten to feel your heavenly silk walls.

you still try not to respond, only whimpering as neil’s thrusts abuse that sensitive spot within you again. your arousal has continued to spill onto the counter and onto neil’s balls, you feel filthy. in any other circumstance you would love how wet you’re getting, but right now you hate how your body is feeding into neil’s ego.

“smart girl.” neil praises as he brings his gaze down, watching his drenched cock slide in and out of you, “don’t let other people in .. yet you give it up to me so easily .. am i special, baby?”

you mewl at him saying that you gave it up to him ‘easily’, you didn’t, you just stopped fighting him.

“d-didn’t give it up .. mh!” you whine as you’re cut off by your own moan, the combination of neil’s thrusts and his quick thumb movements have your mind reeling.

“sh sh, pretty baby, succumb to the pleasure. quit trying to fight it.” neil purrs as he leans his body forward, placing wet kisses onto your neck. you’re painfully close to tipping over the edge, you’re trying your absolute hardest to not come for him, let alone on his cock.

“i .. shit .. neil- fuck-“ your voice breaks towards the end as your body twitches, physically incapable of holding back your orgasm at this point. suddenly, it hits. your vision goes white and for a brief moment in time, you forget where you are and what’s happening, and all you feel is that warm euphoric sensation coursing throughout your body.

“good fucking girl. creamed all over my fucking cock.” neil praises through gritted teeth as his thrusts speed up, chasing after his own orgasm. after a few more harsh pumps, neil shakily pulls himself out and begins stroking himself between your legs, shooting his load onto your abused cunt and panties.

you take deep breaths, attempting to regain your composure. without the pleasure flooding your system, you’re able to look at the situation a bit clearer now. the anxiety and guilt over what just unfolded begins to simmer within you.

“that was good, wasn’t it?” neil huffs with a smile on his face, how can he smile after all this?

“come on.” he pries, “you came all over my cock, you know it was good.”

you almost feel sick, it did feel good, but it was all so so wrong. your mind was racing with conflicting thoughts, finding it hard to respond to neil regardless of what the topic is.

“i’ll get you a wet rag and you can clean yourself up, then we can get back to those cookies, yeah?” neil hums as he cups your face sweetly, running his thumb along your cheek.

his gentle touches felt nice, although still unprompted. you decide that maybe it’s best to deal with this newly formed baggage later and attempt to focus on the new situation at hand- cookie baking.

—

last night before i went to sleep forced proximity neil popped into my brain and i just had to spill it all out of you guys. hope you like! (also, i’m making a longer version of that tommy drabble, thank you for the support!)

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x fem!reader #neil lewis #neil lewis x reader #watching the detectives #hope y’all like this #:)

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auras-moonstone · 3 months

Text

the one — jack champion

word count: 940

pairing: jack champion x interviewer!fem!reader

summary: y/n interviews her boyfriend jack at the sundance festival and they reminisce their last interview where they met a year ago.

warnings: fluff. this is a continuation of one of the first stories i wrote, it’s called enchanted to meet you ! i recommend you read it first to fully understand.

After Jack asked Y/N out for dinner, the two of them became inseparable and started dating soon enough. The fans were ecstatic, having been cheering for them to get together the moment that interview was made.

Now, a year later, they were both flying to Salt Lake for the Sundance Festival, where Y/N would be interviewing and Jack’s new movie Freaky Tales would be screening. They were both excited for it because now they would be there supporting each other as a couple.

“Hi! You seem familiar.” Jack spoke with a teasing smile as he approached his girlfriend for an interview. The feeling of deja vu warmed his heart.

“Hi, Jack. Looking very handsome today.” she smiled tenderly. “Are you going to show me your socks this time?”

“Ugh, stop it.” he laughed as he covered his face in embarrassment.

“So, tell me about Lucid.” Jack started telling the viewers more about his character, and Y/N watched him with a smile on her face. She was so happy to be sharing this with him that she felt like crying, “What’s your favorite thing about the movie?”

“I absolutely love that it is set in the 80s. I actually have been trying to get in the mood during the filming, I made this playlist filled with punk music from that decade.”

“I’ve seen some pictures. The outfits were super cool.” his girlfriend added. “Are we going to see you covered in blood again?”

“Guess you’ll have to see for yourself.” he smirked. Y/N threw him a pleading glance. “You can’t use your girlfriend powers against me. That’s not fair, you know I can’t resist that look.”

“I’m doing it for the people. This was a highly requested question on twitter.” Y/N shrugged.

“Fine, just because it’s you.” he said with a grin. “Yes, I will be covered in blood.”

“Yes!” she exclaimed excitedly.

“What is it with you and blood?” he shook his head laughing.

“I’ll answer that when there’s no camera.” she blushed and he raised and eyebrow in amusement. “Moving on, is there something on your schedule for the next months?”

“Well, the shooting for Avatar 4 starts in a couple of weeks. Other than that, no. Just enjoying my time with my family and my very gorgeous, lovely, and very amazing interviewer, girlfriend.”

Y/N actually giggled, in front of the camera, like a schoolgirl with a crush. He was going to be the death of her. “Well, good for you, Jack. Thank you for your time.”

“For you? I always have time.” he winked. “Text me when you’re done with the interviews, remember you’re also here as my date.”

“How could I forget.” she laughed. “I’ll see you later. I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you, too. I love you.” he wanted to kiss her so bad, but that would definitely be inappropriate so he settled for a tight hug.

“I love you.” she answered right before he left to take pictures.

An hour later, they were finally able to be together again. They were both dragging their feet towards the hotel, absolutely exhausted and drained. Plus, it was so cold that their fingers itched and their toes were practically numb.

“The interview made me a bit emotional.” Y/N spoke. Jack looked at her, urging her to go on. “It made me think of our last interview together, the day we met. I was so nervous that day, and when you appeared it both got worse and better.”

“Why?”

“On one hand, you were so gorgeous that it made me panic. I was scared that my tiny crush would ruin my first interview. And then, you started talking and subtlety guiding me through it… it instantly felt natural. I don’t think I would’ve been as good if I had to interview anyone else.”

“I think you’re wrong. You were just nervous because it was your first, you would’ve figured it out anyways. Yes, we did have an instant connection, but you’re an amazing interviewer. You love your job, you are passionate about it, and that makes people feel comfortable, because you make it like less of a dread.”

Y/N’s sight got blurred by the tears. “Thank you for saying that.”

“I’m just telling the truth, love. I watch every single interview you’ve done, and not once you had made people feel uncomfortable. You’re respectful, sweet and understanding. And you’ve grown so much, I meant it when I said I’m proud of you.”

“I meant it, too. That I’m proud of you and that I love you.”

“I love you, I’ll never get tired of saying it. And I got emotional, too. The deja vu hit me like a truck. I can’t believe it’s been one year. It seems so long ago, but at the same time it feels like time flew by so quickly.”

“Right?!” she exclaimed in agreement. “The interview I was dreading ended up changing my life for the better.”

“You’re so sweet.” he pressed a kiss on the tip of her nose. “I was smitten from the start, literally everyone called me out.”

Y/N laughed. “Maybe I wasn’t as obvious as you, because of the nerves and everything, but I was too. You were so charming.”

“Did I enchant you with my Ghostface socks?”

“Oh, most definitely. That was what made me know you were the one.”

“Am I the one?” he asked, losing the playful tone they had been exchanging.

“I know we’re only nineteen, but I feel like you are it for me.”

The words made his chest clench, in the best way possible. Looking down at her adoringly, he said “You’re it for me, too.”

haunted.ethan i didn’t realize how much i missed this🥺

fearlesslandry one year apart, same expressions of awe😫🫶🏻 best couple ever.

aurasmoonstone okay but i want to know what’s the answer to “what is it with you and blood?” 🤨

y/n.y/l/n that he looks so hot covered in blood😫

jackchampion oh? ☺️ y/n.y/l/n

y/n.y/l/n yes you should only take roles where blood is involved 😙 jackchampion

jackchampion consider it done y/n.y/l/n

y/n.y/l/n okay sidney prescott jackchampion

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dark-frosted-heart · 13 days

Text

Go Ahead and Dote on Me - Clavis card story

Story's in His POV

nsfw at the end

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

[Just a note: people are calling Emma “usagi-chan”]

Spring finally arrived in Rhodolite after the egg hunting contest.

People happily took in the warm winds, admired the flowers that began to bloom following winter, and—

Sweets store owner: Oh, it’s the little rabbit. Are you out with Prince Clavis today?

Emma: Yes. I thought I’d keep an eye on him in case something bad happened.

As we walked through the market together, people called out to Emma everywhere.

It seemed like this would be a springtime tradition this year.

Sweets store owner: You got a lot on your hands, little rabbit. Come, let me give you some baked treats.

Emma: Thank you! By the way, I’ve been hearing “little rabbit” a lot…

Sweets store owner: Yeah, everyone’s been using it. Emma, weren’t you the rabbit in the egg hunt the other day? I think it’s popular because it’s cute. Look, that shopkeep over there’s calling out to you.

Flower store owner: Just in time, little rabbit. I’m currently making a bouquet modeled after you.

Emma: Wow, it’s shaped like a rabbit!

Flower store owner: Yeah. Recently, Rhodolite’s been experiencing an unprecedented rabbit bloom. I guess it’s all thanks you you, little rabbit. Thanks.

Emma: You’re…welcome…?

(Indeed a good trend)

Any direction you look, all of the new spring products displayed in the shops were rabbit-themed.

As a rabbit lover, I couldn’t have been more proud.

Emma: Clavis…do you have something to do with this?

After looking around the market, Emma turned toward me in suspicion.

Clavis: Haha, I don’t have the power to manipulate market trends. I suppose everyone’s become aware of the charm of rabbits. This is how Rhodolite should be.

Emma: Is that a good thing to be happy about…?

Clavis: Naturally. It makes me feel good to see how much everyone likes you. Why not do what the people want and wear those rabbit ears again?

Emma: I don’t want to. It’s embarrassing.

Clavis: I want to see it again. Rather, I always want to see it.

Emma: I’ll consider it when it’s just us alone…

(That’s Emma)

(At any rate, rabbit lovers will spread across the continent)

Emma: Ah…I remembered that Leon won the egg hunting contest.

Clavis: That’s right. He was so strong he almost got banned.

Emma: …Anyway, that means the all-powerful cup that grants any wish is currently in Leon’s hands, right? What exactly does Leon plan to do with that cup?

Clavis: Nothing at all. Since I have the cup on hand right now.

Emma: Huh

Clavis: He wasn’t interested in the prize at all. In exchange, I promised to buy him a drink the next time we went out.

(From the start, I was the one who invited Leon and asked him to win)

(If by chance the hunt failed, then the all-powerful cup would’ve been the target)

(Considering the risks, it couldn’t simply be given to the public)

(But we don’t have to worry about that anymore now)

To make up for a rigged contest, all participants were given a discount coupon that could be used in the market and commemorative Easter eggs.

Hopefully that’ll be enough for forgiveness.

Emma: That all-powerful cup…is in your hands…

Clavis: Hm? What’s with that face?

Emma: Because you’re definitely going to use it for something bad.

Clavis: Such as?

Emma: …

Emma’s face turned red.

It sounded like “bad things” involved doing some wicked deeds to Emma.

She was too cute to handle and I hugged her by the waist.

Clavis: Can you tell me?

Emma: No, I’m trusting your ability as a gentleman.

Clavis: I see, I see. I’ll make a wish on the all-powerful cup when we return home.

Emma: Oh, that’s right! I have a wish that I want the all-powerful cup to grant!

Clavis: You want me to use it to grant your wish and not my wicked one?

I tried not to laugh as Emma vigorously nodded her head.

Clavis: I have no choice but to do as my lovely fiancee asks. What do you wish for?

Emma: Um, well… …

Clavis: If you don’t have one, then I—

Emma: Rabbit!

Clavis: …Rabbit?

Emma: Yes. I know you’re a self-proclaimed rabbit lover, but I can’t be the only rabbit. Wearing the rabbit ears was embarrassing. So I want to see you as a rabbit!

Emma shouted at the top of her lungs, like she had forgotten we were out in public.

Man in market: King Clavis as a rabbit?!

Woman in market: …A rabbit? Is that okay? No restrictions?

(I see…Now I have to live up to expectations)

Clavis: Alright. After all, it’s my lovely fiancee’s wish. Even with the all-powerful cup, I have to make it happen.

Emma: …I’m sorry. I got caught up in the moment when I said that—

When Emma tried to backtrack, I kissed Emma on the lips with a smile to stop her from continuing.

Clavis: Look forward to it, Emma.

In order to fulfill my lovely fiancee’s wish, I had to act quickly.

There wasn’t time to wish on the all-powerful cup and preparations had to be made as soon as possible—

Clavis: Now then my lovely fiancee, here comes Mr. Rabbit.

Emma: Are you actually a rabbit though?!

The next morning, I became a bunny boy and slipped into Emma’s room.

Emma, who was already awake and relaxing in bed, dropped her book in shock.

(However…)

(You’re being surprisingly shy)

I even altered the rabbit outfit, adding a tail to match Emma’s.

Originally I wanted to visit at night with the outfit I prepared overnight, but there’s entertainment in not having made it until morning.

Emma: I didn’t think about it when you disappeared after we came back yesterday, but…it suits you better than I thought it would.

Clavis: Right, right? A handsome man will look good in anything.

Emma: You might be better at being a rabbit than I am.

Clavis: I disagree. I could never be as adorable as you.

Emma: You’re pretty adorable now though?

Clavis: Oh?

(Apparently in Emma’s eyes, I’m a cute rabbit)

(That won’t do)

Clavis: I’m a rabbit today. You can hold me, pet me, love me. Anything you want, okay…?

Emma: Really?

Clavis: Yes, I’m a man of my word. What do you want from me? I’m open to any kinks or perversions.

When I got on the bed and crouched like a rabbit, Emma cleared her throat in embarrassment.

Emma: Th-then…

She hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on top of my head.

She patted my hair gently as if handling a rabbit, tickling me.

Emma: Soft and fluffy. Clavis, your hair’s really nice to touch.

Clavis: …

(I wanted to tease you, but I didn’t expect this kind of play)

(It’s fine when I do it, but when on the receiving end, it’s…difficult)

As I quietly accepted her hand, a small chuckle escaped Emma’s lips.

Emma: Are you feeling a little shy?

Clavis: Haha, how could I?

Emma: But you’re not being as talkative as usual.

Clavis: I was just distracted by how nice your hand feels.

Emma: If you say so.

(...)

As she became more accustomed to it, Emma’s hands got bolder.

I’ve never felt so self-conscious.

(I thought I’d be able to take anything Emma did, but…)

(I’m not cut out for this)

Clavis: Emma, you know this rabbit can do dirtier things, right?

Emma: No, please continue being a cute rabbit.

Clavis: Haha, don’t feel like you have to hold back. For instance—

I push Emma down and boldly hike up the skirt of her nightgown.

When I pushed her legs apart and placed myself between them, Emma started to look flustered.

Emma: What are you doing there?!

Clavis: I’m a rabbit. I’ll go anywhere I want.

I pressed my lips against her thigh under the nightgown and continued up.

Emma: Ah…Don’t…

She tried to stop me with a hand, but faltered when my lips reached her underwear.

Clavis: I’m a cute rabbit, aren’t I? I can be more affectionate if you want?

I shifted her underwear to the side and licked.

The sweet sounds she made were like honey and I almost felt like a spring rabbit in heat.

Emma: Cute rabbits…don’t…Nghaa…

Clavis: Is that so? There’s all sorts of rabbits.

I sucked at her wet spot before appearing out from under her nightgown when her hips bucked up.

When Emma scowled at me in embarrassment with tears in her eyes, I wanted to focus on teasing her more.

(No matter what, you’re cuter than I am)

I removed my vest, undid my tie, and placed the rabbit ears I was wearing on Emma’s head.

Clavis: As expected, it suits you better.

Emma: Really…?

Though she was embarrassed, she didn’t remove the rabbit ears.

She fixed the ears and the sight of her being all shy burned all sense of reason away.

Emma: Nn…Clavis, don’t touch…Aahh

Clavis: Emma…stay as my rabbit for the rest of your life.

(After all, I’m a man that would rather be loved)

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikepri jp #ikepri translations

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carigm · 2 months

Text

THE NEW ST VR GAME IS BYLER AND WILL BYERS GOLD!!!

Okay, so if any of you are on Twitter you might have seen mlvns throwing a tantrum over a clip from a new ST VR game. Here’s the clip:

https://x.com/1987byler/status/1761026225823449094?s=46

If anyone doesn’t want to watch it, I’ll describe it here. It’s a hypothetical of Will having a Vecna vision/or hearing Vecna talk to him set during pre S2 time. He’s listening to Mike talk about how different and amazing El was and he starts to hear Vecna’s voice telling him to “tell Mike how you feel” “your stomach is all in knots” “you don’t want her to come back”. Basically Vecna going “I know what you are” lol

Mlvns are grasping at straws and saying Will hates El because of something Vecna said to make him insecure, because that’s how Vecna operates. He puts negative thoughts in his victim’s heads and uses their biggest insecurities against them. I guess mlvns weren’t watching the Vecna parts of the show if they don’t get this. Never mind that this was also before Will ever met El, and well, it’s also not canon because it’s not in the show so…

Regardless of this game not being canon or fully canon, like I said, there’s a lot of emphasis on Will’s feelings for Mike. Like the game makers literally implying Will has been in love with Mike since S1…

As Vecna taunts Will, Will ends up hiding inside a memory of him and Mike at Castle Byers. His happy memory. It’s not like this show hasn’t made a big deal of characters having to use happy memories to find strength, it’s not like they haven’t been doing this since S2.

In another scene, Vecna finds Will in the UD and remarks how he is “the key to everything” you don’t say 💀

As for mlvn, well they’re as unimportant as always. There’s a moment where Mike mentions he hopes El comes back to play a game with them (remember the game is set pre S2) and the moment he talks about how cool El is, in which the literal focus is Vecna taunting Will.

Again, I can see why mlvns are so pressed and clinging to that line said by Vecna (which they think makes Will look bad) in order to avoid looking at the bigger picture.

Because even though this game isn’t fully canon, it’s pretty damn clear that Will having Vecna visions in S5 is a given. He will be taunted for his sexuality, his love for Mike, what happened with his dad. I wouldn’t even be surprised if there’s a vision of Mike rejecting him/choosing El over him. However, here’s what mlvns are afraid of:

Vecna is a liar, and they as much as us, know that if such a vision happens in the show Byler will be endgame.

Reality will be the opposite of Vecna’s visions, and that’s what they’re setting up. Will thinks he’s unloved, Vecna will use that to his advantage, Vecna will be wrong. It’s a simple set up really 🤷‍♀️

#byler #byler theory

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alotofpockets · 8 months

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Hoodie | Yelena Belova

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Reader (College AU)

Summary: To Natasha you are Yelena's roommate and best friend, to Yelena, you are so much more than that. Yelena isn't out to her family yet, what will happen when Natasha visits?

Masterlist | Marvel masterlist | Words: 970

You had met Yelena through a roommate ad a few weeks before college had started. She had her roommate cancel on her at the last minute, most students had already found housing, so she didn't think her chances of finding a new roommate would be high. However, when you saw the ad you were thrilled to have found an open stop somewhere near campus. Since you went to a different state for college you didn't know anywhere here to room with, so you had settled for sharing a dorm room with a stranger. Of course, Yelena was also a stranger but your beds were in different rooms.

It was a little awkward at first since you barely had any time to get to know each other before moving in together, but as the weeks went by you got closer and closer. You went from strangers, to friends, and then best friends in a matter of months.

It wasn't long until you realized that you liked her as more than a friend, though at first you kept this to yourself. You didn't want to ruin what you had by sharing your feelings that might not be reciprocated. After about a month of hiding your crush on her, your eyes lingered a little too long on toned stomach when she discarded her sweater on movie night. She commented on it when she realized, "Like what you see?" You remember it like it was yesterday. With flushed cheeks you had tried to stumble your way out of it, but to no avail. All the while Yelena was just smiling at you, your reaction to her comment had only confirmed that you had feelings for her as well. So, she bluntly asked if she could kiss you.

Ever since that day you have been together. You still had your own rooms, but your nights were always spent together. Still having your own rooms turned out to be a great decision, when Yelena’s older sister Natasha was visiting. Yelena wasn’t out to her family, so they didn’t know about your relationship yet. She felt bad for asking you to hide your relationship until she had told them but you told her that it was not a problem and that coming out was a process that she could do at her own pace.

While you’re out you receive another update message from Yelena, “Hi baby, Nat wanted a lazy morning, so I let her sleep in a bit. I have to drop off some papers at school, I’ll be back in around an hour.” You pocket your phone after letting her know you’re about to head back. When you walk into the apartment, Natasha is having breakfast at the kitchen counter. You put your bags down and greet her, when you notice something familiar. "Hey, not that I mind, but why are you wearing my hoodie?" Natasha looks down at the hoodie confused, “I thought it was Yelena’s.” You chuckle, “Nope, it’s really mine. You’re good though, I don’t mind.” Natasha shrugs and continues her breakfast, though her mind is turning. “I guess you guys had a switch up during laundry or something, I got it from her room.” She was focussed on your face for any reaction to her comment. You thought you hid it well, but she read the nervousness on your face. Natasha decided not to say anything though.

Natasha would arrive on friday and stay throughout the weekend. You were in your last class of the day when Yelena texted that she had arrived. Once your class was done, you went back to your apartment. You were nervous to meet your girlfriend's sister, even when she didn’t know you were dating her sister, you still wanted to make a good impression on her. When you arrived, Yelena had given Natasha a tour of the apartment, and offered up her room. You spend the evening getting to know Natasha, and learning more about Yelena’s childhood.

The next morning you had a quick errand to run. You tiptoed around the living room when you noticed that Yelena was still sound asleep on the couch. She looked so peaceful. You took a quick look toward her bedroom door and saw that it was still closed, which meant that Natasha was still asleep as well. You plant a soft kiss on Yelena’s forehead before slipping out of the door.

Yelena walked in and eyed the hoodie Natasha was wearing immediately, when Natasha went to greet her sister she saw the slight panic on her face as well. Natasha starts smiling, “I knew it!” Yelena hesitantly asks, “Know what?” Natasha stands and walks up to her sister, “My little sestra is dating her roommate!” She brings her in for a hug without letting Yelena say anything in response. “I am so happy for you, Yelena.” Yelena steps away from the hug stunned, “You knew?”

“Well, I wasn’t 100% sure until I got here, but I had a feeling for a while. You’ve never talked so fondly about a person in your life, sestra. It was obvious that something was going on. Seeing the way the two of you interact with each other just confirmed my suspicions.” Yelena takes a deep breath out, releasing all the tension. “Do you think mom and dad know?” Natasha thinks for a moment. “Well, mom always knows everything, so she probably has her suspicions too. Dad on the other hand, he can be quite oblivious to these kinds of things.” Natasha noticed her sister getting worried again. “They’d love y/n, though.”

Yelena was super relieved once her sister knew, and she was happy that she didn’t have to hide her relationship for the rest of Nat’s stay. That night you held her while she fell asleep in your bed.

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider leaving a tip 💗

#yelena belova #natasha and yelena #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x female reader #yelena belova imagine #yelena black widow #yelena belova x y/n #yelena belova x gn!reader #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x gender neutral reader #marvel #marvel imagine #natasha romanoff #college au

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hanggarae · 9 months

Text

when you spoke to me..

doctor!joshua x f!reader 4.1k words, readers ex keeps texting her to take him back, fake dating au, honestly doesn’t focus much on joshua being a doctor other than at the beginning but he still is a rich doctor, fluff, angst, one sided love (?) (you’ll get it when u read it), part of waves will take us far away series !

why were hospital layouts so complicated sometimes? now you’re accidentally in the room of a really cute doctor embarrassing yourself while you fumble with your phone trying to find the correct room your friend was in.. but wait is he smiling at you?

“you what?” you screamed to your friend over the phone, “who the hell is stupid enough to go on a hike when they have a broken leg?”

“ankle. it’s a broken ankle. besides it all worked out in the end right? at least everything with cheol got cleared up” she giggled, and you sighed remembering the crush she’d developed on her doctor of all people.

“yeah yeah i guess, look you get some rest i’ll come visit you tomorrow with jeonghan. feel better alright!” you let out another deep sigh when your friend hung up. you loved her but she really did make some terrible decisions sometimes.

the bed sheets were warm beneath you, it’d started getting warmer as spring approached and you knew you were definitely grateful for it. the cold weather always made the skin on your hands rough.

the notification sound on your phone went off. confused you checked your phone again in case it was from your friend. you let out a groan when you read who the text was from. ‘i’m sorry i miss you’ read the text from your ex. you’d blocked him weeks ago but he kept finding ways to contact you through new or his friends’ accounts. annoyed, you put your phone on mute and put your head on your pillow ready to sleep.

balloons tied to your wrist and three gift bags resting on your forearms, you walked through the hospital halls keeping a lookout for any staff that could help you find where the room you were looking for was.

you didn't usually visit this hospital so you weren’t familiar with the setting. room 139. you just passed 122 so surely you can't be far, right? after walking for a few more minutes, you found room 139. something seemed off though.

you were sure jeonghan had told you that he was already here and after peeking your head in, you couldn’t catch sight of him. weird. maybe he just stepped out to grab something. oh well.

pushing the door open you could've cried at the sight in front of you. yeah you were right to be wary. instead of your friends you were met with an elderly man currently getting a cast on his arm.

“i am so so sorry” you said breathlessly as you tried to get out of the room. before you did, your eyes met with the second doctor in the room, was he.. laughing at you? ‘jerk’ you rolled your eyes before walking out of the room.

turning on your heel, you gave one last apology before trying to find the correct room. before you could make it far, you felt someone grab onto your arm to get your attention. ‘what the hell did he want?’

“can i help you?” you told him curtly.

“i can help you if you need actually. i’m guessing you’re here to visit someone and it wasn’t that man back there” he smiled at you. okay now you felt bad. he was just a cute doctor that wanted to help you out.

“oh.. thank you” you smiled at him, “uh this was the room that my friend has told me. i’m visiting her, she had a fractured ankle..”

“oh!” his eyes widened, “do you know who your friend’s doctor is? is it choi seungcheol?”

“oh that’s right!”

“yeah come with me i’ll take you to where it is. you were in the wrong ward”

you frowned. why would the hospital use the same numbering system for every ward? it’s so over complicated. whatever. at least you were getting there now. you continued to follow doctor.. well actually what was his name?

“excuse me doctor? what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking”

“hm? oh i’m doctor hong but you can call me joshua i don’t mind” he smiled again at you, and when you saw it you don’t know how you managed to dislike him at first when he had such a kind smile. “and what’s your name?”

“my name’s yn. sorry for making you go through all this trouble by the way, you must’ve been busy”

“oh no don’t worry about it, i wouldn’t have offered if i didn’t want to”

after about ten minutes of walking joshua showed you to where the room was, and you saw all of your friends. thanking joshua one more time you made your way in before waving back at him.

when visiting hours were done, you and jeonghan we’re making it out of the hospital together before you heard your phone vibrate a few times in your pocket.

you groaned at how it kept going, knowing it meant that it was your ex that found another way to contact you.

“you know, this should be considered borderline harassment at this point. he won’t leave you alone!” jeonghan sounded annoyed when you both confirmed it was your ex texting again, “he’s got no shame too, he’s the one who cheats and now he’s begging to have you back”

“i don’t even care anymore, i planned on getting a new phone and number soon anyway. so he can have fun texting the phone that nobody’s using” you sighed, exasperated at his efforts.

you’d told him weeks ago to stop contacting you, that no matter how much he did this wasn’t going to ‘win you back’. he was a terrible human being and you didn’t want anything to do with him.

“oh? yn?” you heard a familiar voice call out not too far from where you and jeonghan were.

turning to identify where the sound was coming from, you relaxed when you saw it was the doctor that helped you earlier.

“hi joshua, you getting off work now?” you waited for him to catch up to you.

“yeah. hey jeonghan” he waved to the man smiling deviously next to you, “uh yn do you have a ride home?”

“she doesn’t! i had to meet my parents for dinner right after so i couldn’t” before you could answer jeonghan was already doing it for you, faking a pout. “but hey, you could take yn home, couldn’t you shua?”

“if that’s okay with you yn i’d be happy to” joshua smiled at you again, that same too sweet smile.

“if it’s not any trouble to you” you told him sheepishly, “then i’d really appreciate it”

joshua’s car was nice, you could tell he took good care of it, making sure everything in the glove compartments were organised and that the seats were as clean as the carpets. you’d spent the time talking and getting to know each other. falling into conversation with joshua was too easy, almost as if you’d known each other for years. you’d learnt about how much of a kind person he was, but he never bragged about it, just about how incredibly grateful he was to be able to give to others. there was no way someone as nice as him really existed. and he looked that good too? oh it really wasn’t fair.

but you can really never have too much of a good thing because here came the 703rd call from your ex in the last few weeks. groaning you decline it but then came the bombardment of texts saying how he ‘loved you and didn’t mean it’.

“is that your boyfriend?” joshua asked, and if you weren’t so distracted with blocking the new number he was contacting you from, you would’ve caught the masked disappointment in his voice.

“thankfully no. but i don’t want to bother you with the whole story” you turned to look at him, but he was silently telling you to go on, like he doesn’t mind if you vented to him despite only knowing him a few hours. from what jeonghan had told you after being friends with joshua for a few months now, he was definitely a good listener. “he’s my ex. we’d broken up like a year ago or something but a few weeks ago he kept trying to reach out again out of nowhere. i’m guessing he realised that no girl wanted him so he thought i’d take him back”

“and what he’s just been bothering you for the last few weeks? have you tried telling the authorities?”

“i’ve thought about it but he’s harmless. i saw him at the store about a week ago and he didn’t even approach me. he’s all bark and no bite. i think if he sees i’m with someone else he’ll definitely back off” you sighed rubbing at your temples, you could feel yourself getting a headache already.

“are you? with someone else i mean?” he looked nervous. it was so cute.

“no, but why do you ask?” you asked him with a teasing lilt in your voice.

“well, my parents have been annoying me for weeks about finding a partner. so how about we just help each other out and pretend we’re going out with one another?”

it honestly was a good idea but you couldn’t help feel a little disappointed that it would just be fake dating. joshua was fun though so you’d push back your own brief hurt in favour of at least hanging out with him more often.

‘morning !! do u think u can meet me at this cafe at around 3 today ? need to ask u smth’ read the text that joshua had sent you today. it had been a few weeks since he drove you home and you’d both been texting back and forth getting to know each other more, and he mentioned that you both might have to meet soon last night. you texted him back, and agreed to meeting up. after getting ready, you left the apartment at around 2:30 to get to the cafe that joshua had told you about.

you texted joshua again to let him know you were outside and he told you that he was waiting at the table near the window on the left. when you stepped in you found him immediately. he was dressed casually, you’re guessing he didn’t have work today.

“hey, do you want me to grab you something to drink?” he smiled at you, helping you with your things.

you looked over the menu before he recommended something, promising you it would be good as he’d visited the cafe a lot. he went to place the order before joining you again at the table.

“did you have work off today?” you asked him.

“oh yeah, i don’t usually work fridays” he took a sip of his drink, “but anyway. the reason i asked you here was because i was wondering if you could come with me to some dinner my aunt’s hosting this weekend. her daughter graduated and my parents mentioned they wanted to meet you”

this weekend? that’s so sudden. i mean it’s not like you really had any plans anyway but it was still really sudden, “i’m free so i can go just.. well how formal is this dinner? like should i dress up or..” you trailed off, mentally trying to remember everything in your closet and if you had something fit for the occasion.

“it’s pretty formal i guess” he said sheepishly, rubbing the nape of his neck, “it’s at some fancy restaurant and i’m going wearing a suit. of course if you need me to i can definitely help you find a dress!”

“don’t worry about it” you laughed, pulling out your phone so you could find a picture. “i have a few formal ones but this is one i wore to my friend’s engagement party a couple months back, you think this’ll be alright?”

joshua looked at the picture, lips curving up into a smile before he met your gaze, “you look really pretty in that dress”

you flushed, taking a sip of your drink while thinking of a way to not let him get the upper hand, he can’t make you fall for him it wouldn’t be fair.

“thanks.. i just remembered! i have a high school reunion on the 30th. are you busy that day? i’m pretty sure it’s a friday”

you saw joshua frown thinking over it before opening what you’re guessing is his calendar app on his phone, “nope. i don’t have anything that day so i can go with you”

“great! my ex should be there too so after that he should stop bothering me too”

maybe it was all just in your head but you felt like you saw joshua tense a little at the mention of your ex, “has he texted you since?”

“i think he’s finally getting the hint. he doesn’t text as much anymore thankfully”

you were finishing up the last touches on your makeup when you heard someone ring your doorbell. you checked the camera to see it was joshua, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. you let him in, instantly taking note of his appearance.

you could hardly appreciate it from the cameras but in person you could see in detail how the suit he was wearing hugged his figure so well. the suit itself was black paired with a white button up and a purple tie.

“i remembered your dress was purple and thought i’d match the tie with it” joshua told you sheepishly when he saw how focused you were on it. “these are for you! i saw jeonghan today and asked him to make a bouquet for me”

you took the flowers, grinning at his thoughtfulness and thanking him, “is jeonghan still trying to win over your guys’ surgeon friend?”

joshua laughed at your comment, remembering how jeonghan had once called him at 3am to know what type of flowers his friend likes, “yeah he is. think she’ll say yes any day now”

you hummed, nodding. “how much time until we have to be there by the way?”

“about 45 minutes, it’ll only take us fifteen minutes to get there from here” he told you, checking his watch that you could just tell was expensive. you nodded again, telling him you’ll be right out after putting your dress on and grabbing a few things.

joshua waited on your couch for you to finish getting ready, scrolling through his phone to pass time. after a few minutes, he looked up when he heard you clear your throat nervously.

“you look amazing, yn. really, you do” and joshua wasn’t lying. he always thought you were pretty and right now was no different. but joshua bit back those thoughts though, admitting to himself would mean he’d also have to admit that he can’t ever have you. “so uh, you ready to go?” joshua winced at the lump in his throat and the way his voice cracked ever so slightly, and he was grateful for the fact that you were checking over the things in your purse one last time so you didn’t notice it.

you nodded and the both of you made your way to his car.

joshua was oddly quiet on the car ride, opting to just play music to fill the silence. when you arrived at the restaurant, joshua opened the door for you and helped you out. “the restaurant’s technically part of some five star hotel” he explained when you looked at it a little confused.

“ohh it looks really pretty” you smiled up at him while he held your hand leading you to the entrance.

joshua told the receptionist his name and she led you both over to where joshua and his family were waiting. when you actually saw them, the nerves finally hit you. what if you accidentally let slip that you and joshua weren’t really dating? what if you embarrass joshua?

joshua seemed to take notice of your nerves, squeezing your hand gently and whispering a “you’ll be fine, they’re going to love you”.

and it seems joshua was right. the night did go smoothly and you congratulated joshua’s cousin for her graduation. his family was kind, they didn’t once make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, instead complimenting you and making sure you didn’t feel left out.

by the time the dinner was over you were honestly sad that you’d have to leave his family, they were so fun you wanted to be with them more often. you left for a few minutes to go to the bathroom and when you came back you found joshua looking for you.

“joshua? what’s up?” taking note of how he looked a little annoyed and out of breath.

“yn i’m so sorry. my uncle just told me now that they’d booked rooms for all us to stay at the hotel tonight. if you feel uncomfortable with it i can just say you have a work thing tomorrow and we can’t stay” you really didn’t mind staying, but you were surprised and did feel guilty that they paid for you. he wasn’t saying it for your sake but you knew joshua secretly wanted to stay. his job makes it hard for him to see his family often so he’d appreciate this time with them. at the same time, you knew that staying would only make you more regretful of the fact that joshua didn’t feel the same about you.

“it’s fine, i don’t mind staying”

surprisingly enough, you’d managed to fall asleep pretty quick considering when you fell asleep joshua was still taking a shower.

when joshua got out he saw you on the bed and couldn’t help the soft smile breaking at his features. he saw your phone was still unlocked, a video still playing. ‘you must’ve fallen asleep watching it’.

he was about to turn it off before rolling his eyes at the texts from your ex again. he was about to block it for you until an idea crossed his mind. joshua fought mentally with himself as he debated whether or not he should go through with it. he sent a picture the two of you had taken together earlier to your ex, a ‘can u leave us alone ..?’ text attached to it while he silently prayed you wouldn’t think he was crossing any lines by doing so.

you met up with joshua a lot more after the dinner with his family. but the both of you getting closer was not doing anything to help your own feelings. joshua by no means felt the same about you. when you’d gotten to know joshua and the people close to him, you learnt that he was always the bold one when it came to people he liked. he’d always be the one to ask someone out, the one to go the extra mile for them. so the fact that he hadn’t done that for you, or even implied he wanted to, it wasn’t hard to assume that he just simply didn’t like you in that way. joshua wanted you as a friend and nothing more or less and you just had to live happily with that.

the reunion was soon. you’d texted joshua about it again, reminding him the address and time it was. you noticed your ex stopped texting you and part of you felt a little disappointed at it. you were grateful he finally took the hint but sad because what if this meant joshua wouldn’t have to keep up the act anymore? you were aware you probably seemed crazy and pathetic clinging onto a fake relationship that was only proposed for convenience, but that’s how you felt and you couldn’t help it and were too tired of it all to make an excuse.

dressed in a plain black tee paired with black slacks and a blazer, joshua picked you up for the reunion. as hard as you’d tried to make it seem like nothing was up, you knew joshua could tell. you silently hoped he would just assume it’s nerves because you still hadn’t thought of a way to tell him that you wanted to break off the agreement of fake dating.

why was this so complicated? it’s not like you two were actually dating so it’s not like it’s an actual breakup, but it still felt like you were losing something. what if joshua only talked to you so much was because he needed someone that was willing to pretend to be his girlfriend?

you shook the thoughts out of your head as you both pulled up to the place the reunion was being held. stepping out, you could already see some familiar faces, smiling and hugging them whenever they came to greet you.

the night went by with you catching up with old classmates, introducing them to joshua too. it was scary how well he was able to get along with people instantly. you were honestly surprised that your ex hadn’t bothered you all night, guess he saw joshua and backed off.

when you decided to leave the reunion, joshua suggested you both grab dinner somewhere. the food served at the reunion wasn’t the best so the both of you hadn’t eaten much all night. and that’s how the both of you ended up in the parking lot of some takeout place, laughing while you both told stories of your high schools together.

it was fun, and you hated the part of yourself that always made you overthink. ‘none of this is even real, joshua doesn’t care about you like that. so stop thinking this means the two of you are really dating’.

“yn, what’s wrong?” joshua sounded alarmed, and it was only then you took notice of the tears welling up in your eyes, rubbing aggressively at them immediately.

“think that the contacts are just irritating my eyes, don’t worry” you assured him but he still didn’t look satisfied with your answer.

“here let me help you-”

“it’s fine joshua” you sighed, “look about this whole pretending to be dating thing. i really can’t do it anymore. pretending to be in a relationship with you is killing me-”

“fine. i’m sorry if i did something to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. it was stupid of me to send that picture to your ex-”

“what picture?” you looked up at him confused, what the hell was he talking about?

“the one i sent to your ex and i told him that we were happy and to leave us alone..”

“is that why he stopped bothering me? oh well i didn’t know about that but thanks because it’s the only thing that managed to shut him up”

“wait what? so then what are you mad at me about?” he pouted.

you stayed silent. you knew exactly where this was headed and if it carried on you knew it’d lead to you spilling your guts to him, and you weren’t sure you could do that. because if you did you’d lose joshua forever.

“nothing, don’t worry about it” you mumbled, going back to swirling the plastic spoon around the ice cream in your cup.

“no no no” you heard joshua say, his fingers holding on to the underside of your jaw gently so that you turned your attention to him. “tell me, yn”

“i can’t” you whispered, tears welling up again, “if i do i’ll lose you forever. i don’t think i can do that, shua” you knew tears were freely spilling past your eyes at this point but you couldn’t care.

“yn, i promise you, you’re not going to lose me. i love you far too much to let you go” you still shook your head at him sniffling and unbelieving of his words. “yn you mean so much to me that i’m willing ignore my feelings for you because i know you don’t feel the same way. you mean so much to me that i’d rather wake up knowing i can’t have you the way i want then to wake up not having you in my life at all. you mean so much to me yn, so please don’t think i’d try leaving you”

you sat, stunned at joshua’s confession. it was like he could read your heart and turned all the feelings and words you wanted to give him into his own. he looked at you warily for a few seconds, scared you wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. if only he knew how much you’d been thinking the same about him for months.

you inched closer to him, closing your eyes as you brushed your lips over his. joshua tensed before melting into the kiss too, and your heart grew warmer and how you could feel him smile into the kiss.

when you both pulled away, you were both smiling, “you know this doesn’t serve as a confession right? i want you to list every single thing that made you like me!”

you laughed at his words, whining “no don’t make me say it, you just want to tease me”

“oh so you’re allowed to hear me pour my heart out to you but if i wanna hear you say it back it’s too much?” he jokingly pouted, bringing you closer for a hug while he fought off his own giggles hearing yours.

🏷️ @smilehui @suzuyamitsuki @minhui896

#seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen x you #joshua fluff #joshua hong x reader #joshua imagines #svt imagines #svt joshua x reader #svt angst #seventeen angst #hong jisoo x reader #joshua x reader

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lovelaetter · 8 months

Note

bear!jennie and noncon omg… i need that

CW: NONCON, SOMNOPHILIA, g!p reader

obsessed with the idea of virgin bear!jennie, a bit naïve, and that you’re trying so hard to hold back from fucking, letting things go on her pace. she loves when you finger her, let you taught her how to give you a perfect hand and blowjob and loves to suck your tits so much, but to actually take your cock? it’s too much for her, she’s a small girl, cries when you add a third finger! your cock is too big, she’s scared :(

and she was so skittish when you rescued her from the shelter and took so long to get to where you two are… so you couldn’t risk taking a wrong step and ruining things, right? but it’s so hard to hold back when her hibernation time comes :( coming home everyday from work to find the bear girl asleep in your bed was cute at first, hearing her cute sleepy whimpers and seeing the way she cuddles with your pillow, but it soon turned to torture as you began to notice other things, like sometimes she would moan or the pillow would be between her legs, and the worse, when she would sleep only in panties and a big shirt or short nightgown and it always ended riled up.

coming home one day and it’s the last straw, seeing her laying on her belly, shirt up completely up and exposing her ass for anyone to see. you resisted for so long and seeing her like that instantly got you hard, there’s nothing else you could do! you think about touching yourself and coming in her ass only at first but being behind her, seeing her so helpless… you’re soon yanking her panties down, fingers finding her folds because you’re not that bad, you know she definitely needs so prep, spreading her puffy cunt, scissoring motions to stretch her until you can fit a third finger while playing with her ass, massaging and giving light spanks :( no hint of waking up, she only moves a bit when your cock enters her.

so tight around you but so nice, you can’t believe you went for so long without it. brushing her hair away from her face and kissing her cheeks and neck, muttering “mommy is so sorry, baby” against her skin at every trust :( you do lose patience tho, going harder and harder until she finally wakes up, whiny and confused about all the movement. takes a moment for her to realize what’s happening but when she does, arms moving around, trying to push you away, whining “mommy, why you doing that?” and “stop, it hurts” between a few broken moans and sniffs and it’s so messed up but also hot :( and she’s so wet, noises filling the room, all you think about it is making her cum and coming inside her.

tight grip on her waist so she has her ass up, going fast and hearing her sweet sounds, reaching for clit, until you feel the way she clenches so badly around you and as a chain reaction, you fill her up :( she’s still so sleepy, can’t even turn around to look at you, only if nodding and whining when you finger the cum back inside her hole and pull her panties up, kissing her pouty lips and telling her to “go back to sleep princess, i’ll be here when you wake up”

bonus if when she wakes up she doesn’t remember a thing, only flashes that she think were from a very, very realistic dream, head still dizzy with sleep, wincing when she moves and realizes there’s something wrong with her body, so sore, and her hole is aching and sticky. mentioning that to you and being embarrassed that she woke up horny, dripping wet even, and you’re so good at pretending surprise but saying it’s okay, you can help! fingering her but she keeps saying her hole is still aching — guess you were a little too harsh with her — so you suggest that maybe it’s time for her to take your cock :( that maybe it’s what her body is trying to tell her, that she needs to be filled. her reluctantly accepting, letting you guide her and being so surprised when you easily slide inside her, like her hole was made for you :( who could’ve imagined it, right? haha, almost like you had already carved a space inside her without her knowing haha

cockwarming with bear nini during hibernation :( her all cozy and sleepy while clenching around you and always waking up filled with cum :(

#asks #blackpink smut #jennie smut #cw: noncon #cw: somnophilia

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happeehippie · 26 days

Text

instagram j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his fiancée evie as they go through his football career.

* face claim is yasmin quintana*

series masterlist.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 873,190 others

evie: did some cowgirl shit

view all 2,739 comments…

millyg: yee frickin haw

> evie: bitches 🤠

user: NO WAY IS IT HAPPENING????

user: i was hoping this thing would get called off

joeyb_9: guess i better saddle up.

> evie: i’m coming home to you cowboy. 😉

user: no wait this is so cute

user: not ev in her cowgirl era

> evie: i fear it may be permanent

user: i cannot comprehend that you guys are so in love your getting married….

> user: wym you can’t comprehend it?? they’ve been together for like 7 years and are clearly very happy?

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, bose, and 912,054 others

joeyb_9: locked in #TeamBose

view all 5,108 comments…

user: this hairstyle is the best

user: ev is so lucky

> evie: like it truly doesn’t get better than this.

user: this is giving major top gun vibes

evie: i’m locked in on you. 🤪💗

> joeyb_9: 🌽

user: yalllll this man!

used: if you need consoling after this tough season hit my line

> evie: aw. i might take you up on that offer

> user: if there’s one things ev is going to do it’s make sure errrrrbody know joe is HER man

> user: no like its giving *insecure*

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 910,002 others

evie: my mood for the foreseeable future..

view all 3,107 comments…

user: angel girl

user: she’s a stunnnnna

lahjay10_: if joe ain’t bring some of those cookies tomorrow we may have a problem

> evie: only the best for you jay

user: a ray of sunshine

joeyb_9: photo by me, socks from my closet, cookies homemade, your smile out of this world.

> evie: the man that you are…

user: i don’t know if im rooting for you or not

user: this doesn’t seem like lifestyles of the rich and famous

> evie: you’re looking in the wrong place for that content

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 816,901 others

joeyb_9: my hands don’t look small here

view all 6,738 comments…

user: delete this my girl has ig

bengals: caption 🤌

user: you remember what them haters had to say

evie: let’s put them to good use. 😉

> user: EV! it’s too early to be spicy in the comments!

> user: nooo she’s getting some of that BDJ 🤣

user: i wasn’t prepared for this today

user: GOODNESS GRACIOUS

evie

liked by joeyb_9, bengals, and 520,091 others

evie: why is it always so cold in seattle?

view all 6,194 comments…

user: you’re giving pick me vibes

> evie: next time you’re looking for something to comment on, please, don’t pick me. (:

user: seattle is nice when it isn’t raining

user: period !!!

millyg: a moment for YOU 💗

> evie: i luv u.

user: these pics make seattle look bad

joeyb_9: the fit goes HARD

> evie: you can borrow it anytime 🤪

> joeyb_9: game day fit?

> evie: would def be top 5 of the season.

user: why are joe and ev always so goofy in the comments, and yall think they aren’t made for each other????

> user: no bc SAME! i don’t get why people think they aren’t a good fit. they’re obsessed with each other.

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 730,726 others

joeyb_9: Dark Knight

view all 5,720 comments…

user: that’s my QB

joemainmixon: 🐐

user: you ain’t him

user: WAKE UP JOE POSTED

lahjay10_: (TOP 2) DAM SURE AINT 2! 🐐

> evie: TELL EM JAY

user: smash

evie: i think i need a hero… 🥵

> joeyb_9: i’ll be your knight in black shoulder pads.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 820,092 others

evie: big week 😳

view all 5,118 comments…

user: my favorite wag

user: if y’all actually are getting married im sick.

user: are you going to share what’s happening?

user: you look STUNNING

user: wym??

user: not prepared for what’s about to go down. i have a feeling.

joeyb_9: 👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼

> user: oh shit

user: not joe about to ruin his life if speculation is true

> user: wow everyone is supportive until you realize he really isn’t ever going to leave her for you. this is crazy behavior!

evie

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 1,737,026 others

evie: i think i like this little life.. 🤍

view all 15,829 comments…

millyg: and that’s MRS. Evangeline Burrow!

> user: not me just now finding out ev’s full name

> user: Evangeline??? Excuse me, that’s beautiful.

user: she doesn’t deserve it.

lahjay10_: we was TURNT TF UP!

user: i am sick with jealousy

bengals: The King and his Queen, congratulations!

user: only ring he will ever get but congrats

> user: marrying the love of your life is a bigger dub than the sb ever will be.

user: congrats!

sam_hubbard_: Finally!!

user: i knew it was coming and somehow i convinced myself he was smarter than this..

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, millyg, and 1,290,001 others

joeyb_9: Mr. & Mrs.

view all 8,628 comments…

lahjay10_: congratulations brudda!

user: most overrated player in the nfl

> user: bro can’t you let him enjoy his wedding?

user: congrats, now go get that other ring!

user: i give it a few months before they are done with each other.

> user: considering they’ve been together for almost a decade, i don’t see that happening

user: we all wish we were ev rn!

bengals: that’s our QB, you lucky boy!

user: another thing to distract him from winning the super bowl

user: not fair

millyg: i’m not crying, you are. jk i am crying. i’ve been crying all day.

user: he’s too famous for this, he will get sick of her.

evies ig stories:

#nfl #joe burrow #nfl imagine #bengals #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow insta au #joe burrow instagram

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grapejuicestyless · 1 month

Text

Linger Like A Tattoo Kiss

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summery: After running away from a long term relationship to chase after a summer fling, JJ is left with the pieces of what once was. He can try to get it back, but at the end of the day JJ always fucks up.(Inspired by the folklore love triangle and Normal People.)

“I really hated you for a while.”

Crickets fill the void of silence, a puff of smoke dancing from the old pot beside her, a cigarette squished out in her wilting daffodils. Her hands fist at the hems of her sweater, pulling it impossibly closer to her body, stretching out the stitching and crossing her arms to keep it in place.

“I saw a girl walk by hand in hand with this boy. He had lipstick all over his face, and I felt bad for the girl, I really did, and I had no reason to. They seemed happy enough to have each other, no wandering eyes or anything like that. I guess they just reminded me of us y’know? With the kissing and all that. Figured if we were once like that, who’s to say he won’t go and hurt her too? It’s a real cruel thing to assume, I suppose. To think love is damned just because it was for us.”

“Don’t say that.” She says it so casually that I almost miss the tears in her eyes she blinks at rapidly.

“Well we were.” She laughs bitterly.

“You always did have a wandering eye. Thought it was just people watching because I thought I knew you. It’s probably for the best that I don’t, you and your reckless thinking but you know, strangers don’t kiss like that. Almost makes me feel bad for you that in our entire life together I knew nothing about you, but then I remember what you did and I feel better for it.”

She looks up from her feet which have been crossed underneath her this whole time, shoulders pressed against the old doorframe of her even older house.

“So why are you here, JJ?” She finally asks, cardigan falling from under her arms and her fists pulling down her jean pockets.

“Why’d you answer?”

Nodding slowly, she thinks about it, smiling to herself before scooting over the threshold and swinging the door by its rusting handle.

My hand spreads flat against the chipped yellow paint, an old mark left behind from where the mail box used to be before people stopped sending letters and the metal rusted right off of the wood.

“P-please! Please, Y/n/n.”

Looking at her watching me, I see that she doesn’t hate me like she said she did, not anymore. But she doesn’t love me and I can see that too. It’s like I’m nonexistent to her, neither good nor bad.

“I know I hurt you, believe me I do. I just need you to hear me now so I can explain myself.”

“I’ll never love you again, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t expect you to. I just hope you’ll hear me and understand that I still do.” The screen door that separated the wooden one and the humid outdoors shook the whole frame of the house when it slammed shut again, her bare feet padding across the splintering wood to lead me away from her front steps.

“I haven’t seen you in months, JJ. You had all summer to make me see you and you wait until August is over? Did you enjoy spending July a bachelor too much or did you forget about me when you were six shots deep at the boneyard?” She tries to spin her anger like it’s a joke, but when she turns her head I can still see the twitching of her bottom lip. She pulls the soft flesh between her teeth to keep it still.

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me.” She laughs.

“You were right.” I smile back at her, but it’s strained.

“Would it be wrong of me to blame it on my father?” I ask only half serious, hands stuffed in my front pockets and feet dragging in the dirt next to hers.

“I don’t think it would be wrong. Manipulative, maybe, but not wrong.”

“Well it’s true.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes away from me.

“You don’t believe me?” I ask, eyebrows furrowed.

“I think it can be half true. Maybe, if what you claim is the reason, your father did influence you to do what you did, but he did not make you do it. You did.”

Looking at her, though she sounded like she was smiling, I find that she was not. She even looked distant, detached from the conversation and uninterested at best.

“I don’t need to tell you how he gets, but I owe it to you to explain it to you now.” She stops just short of the old hammock strung from a big oak tree and a weaker dead one. It reminds me of the one back at the chateau, only more well loved and faded than John B’s.

“You don’t owe me shit.” She acts tough but she doesn’t move either and it tells me that she really does want to listen. At least part of her, anyway.

“Usually I don’t believe the shit he says. He’s a bitter drunk, he won’t even remember what he was thinking in an hour. But when he brought up your name, I don’t know, I couldn’t not buy it a little bit.” I scratch my arm and she says nothing.

“I mean, what would he know about young love? Abusive fuck with an absent wife, no love in his bitter old heart for his only blood but damn it beats when he’s beating on me. Guess I saw myself in him, to be honest. I’m always angry, and I’ve gotten better at hiding it but I’m furious just the same. I’m afraid I’ll inherit more than his temper, I’m already halfway to being knee deep in my own shit.”

She rolls her lips between her teeth, breathing out calmly.

“I don’t feel bad for you, JJ. I wish I did, I really do, but I just can’t. You’re a nice boy, you have decent morals and a good group of friends. It’s evident in you, no matter where you get it from. You are a bad person, I won’t lie to you and tell you, you aren’t because you are. Maybe I do feel bad for you then, but not because of what you’ve done but because you’re just now realizing it.”

“Y/n/n.”

“Look, you told me to listen and I have. You told me your half but I don’t owe you any of mine. You broke it, you don’t get the privilege of fixing it.”

When she turns on her heals I can see the dirt caked onto the bottom of her feet and I can feel it too. The same feeling of running wild when you’re still so young and naive to the real world and all its issues. I can feel the dirt between my own toes even if it’s not there.

“I won’t stop trying, you know.” I call out flatly.

“I already told you, I’ll never love you again JJ. I meant it.” She sighs heavily, spinning to walk backwards.

“I don’t need you to love me, I just need you to like me again. And I won’t stop it until we laugh like we used to.”

She doesn’t talk, but I catch her smile. It looks like shes not with the way her face scrunches in the fading sunlight but her lips are too upturned for her to not be.

“You came back.”

“I told you I would.” I smile with half my teeth, a toothpick dangling from my bottom lip and a new cut caked in dried blood evening it out on the top half.

“You were never one to keep your promises.” She talks from the windowsill by the kitchen. I can see her knees just under her chest and her socks scrunched up. She’s got her bottom on the counter and some baby carrots between her fingers drenched in ranch. Crunching away at them and double dipping.

“Maybe all this heartbreak has you losing your mind. I never broke any promises, I can promise you that Y/n/n.”

“You promised to always love me.” My confidence falters, she’s got a winning smirk and her knees beneath her now. Her elbows sit on the wooden frame and her head leans over the window to talk to me more clearly.

“Who said I stopped?”

I had her, I could see it in her eyes that I had her.

Y/n was never the strongest willed person I knew, but she had dignity and lots of loyalty that made her tough to crack. Even then, years of friendship built as a foundation for a long term relationship and a steady heartbeat in her chest made it hard to stop contact all together, even if she knew it was for the best. Which is why I knew I could crack her eventually, just not this quickly.

“Well,” she sighs, throwing her legs off of the counter to rinse her dishes in the sink. Her shorts are wet on the hems from the pooling water she sat on and her shirt is faded from the sun and the quick dry cycle on her dryer, “I guess I’m the one who couldn’t keep that promise then.”

“You don’t love me?”

“J,” she breathes heavy through her nose, “I loved you for so long, even before you knew. God, I think if you weren’t so blind you could have seen it too. You might as well have hung the stars and the moon for me. I loved so hard for so long. What we had, JJ, what we have done. We’ve done so much good for one another.” She sighs, hopping back up into her previous spot and leaning in just a little closer so she can rest her head on the windows frame. Her leg dangles outside of the house and her arms wrap around the knee of the other tightly. She looks smaller like this and I can see the darkness in her eyes clearer now.

“What if I never move on?”

The question lingers in the air like the cigarette smoke that danced in the sky last night.

“I can’t make you feel something you don’t. I guess that’s the scary part. I can keep reminding you of what you did and you’ll never quit, will you?”

I shake my head.

“You know I love you.” My elbows rest against the wooden plank underneath the bend of her knee. If I lean too close my thumb would brush against her skin and she’d surely run.

“And I know it’s hypocritical for me to say when all is done is done, but there is no girl, no person that will ever make me feel the same way as I do for you.”

It falls silent between us and I can see now that her sad smile has turned into a frown, like some guilt has started to eat at her when she has nothing to feel sorry for.

“I’ll stay.” I hum softly, a quiet promise just between us, “And I’ll never leave again. You don’t have to love me like you once did, but I do think you make me a better person.”

“And if I go?” She mumbles back, eyebrows relaxing into her sunken face and slouched posture. She looks tired, a whirlwind of a spring leading into the fall taking all her old charm from her aching bones.

“Then I’ll follow you. Wherever you go, I’ll be there and we’ll be okay.”

She looks at me unsure, unbelieving and she’s smart for it. There’s not a thing I’ve proven to her that shows her I’m reliable, not a bone in my body has the ability to be that for her all the time. But I’d like to be if she’d let me again. And I would fuck it up this time.

“It’s over now, anyway. I guess it’s a stupid question to have asked when there no point to it. Guess I just wanted to know the answer. Make me feel better.”

That was the thing about Y/n, she always spoke her mind full and true no matter what. She doesn’t need to tell me why she’s said something but she always does. Even if she hasn’t done anything like she’s done now. When we were dating I thought it was because she could never stop talking, but looking back on it I guess she was never really loud. Only at parties and when she was scared. She rambles when she’s nervous I’ve realized, and I think it’s funny because it also means she can’t lie because either way the truth will come out.

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be.”

Silence fills the space between us again, her body fidgeting at how close we’ve gotten, breaking her unwritten rule of keeping me at an arms length.

I can see her fingertips searching for her old lighter and her pack of cigarettes. She was never really a smoker, only doing what everyone else had done but I assumed she had picked up the habit while I was away. It made me sad in a sense, not because they were being used, but because she had always been that girl in middle school who would keep them away from all of us. Weed? Sure! But she was smarter than me and most of the other kids who were broke and just wanted some relief, so I guess my heart just hurts seeing how she doesn’t really care anymore.

“Do you want one?” I shake my head no.

“Since when do you smoke?”

“Since when do you care?” The paper is between her lips, balancing on the sticky pink lipgloss she’s coated on her lips.

I shrug, looking at her manicured hands, delicate and smooth cupping around the end where the flame lights just below the end of the cigarette to keep the wind from blowing it out.

“Just didn’t read you as someone who would.” She laughs.

“Yeah, I was kind of stuck up when we were younger, huh?”

“I don’t think thats the right word.” She looks at me, taking the stick away from her mouth and tipping her head back to blow the smoke out.

“What word would you use then?” She smiles down at her hand, rubbing her wrists down her legs and her cheek against her knees.

“Careful, probably.”

She sticks out her tongue, groaning and sitting back against the window frame.

“Might as well call me boring then, right? Can see why you would want to run away with someone so much more…exciting.” She rolls her eyes playfully, lifting the cigarette back to her lips.

“How many more times are you going to say it?” My fingers wrap around the stick, lifting it to my own lips and covering the mark her own had made before putting it out against the back of my hand.

“Me saying it less won’t make it any less true.”

Maybe a smart ass would be the right word to call her. Heartbreak be damned, she was always quick on her tongue only now she had motivation to shoot for the kill.

“Have a nice night, JJ.” Her legs swing over to the cool counter tops where she scoots herself down and back onto the floor. I can see she’s wearing a baby blue bra when she bends over to shut the window, not that I was looking, and she smiles unenthusiastically until she’s turned the corner out of my sight.

“You’d think after a month of this you’d be bored.” She laughs, mittens covering her fingers and a soft cardigan over her heavy sweatshirt. Her nose is numbing from the cold and the grass is crunching underneath the winter frost.

“I could never be bored of you, Y/n/n.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but bites her tongue with a gentle smile. Her cheeks glow and her eyes avoid looking into mine. The plants by her feet are long gone, only weeds that have frozen left behind among the cigarette stubs from all of our small talk by her windows and on her porch. Even with the constant sweeping, we’ve both picked up on the habit and we burn through them each meeting.

“Well, I’m not so sure about that.” She laughs more to herself than to me, hands crossed under her arms and shoulder pressed against the door.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know, I suppose I’m just not all that interesting of a person. Not much about me that makes me special.”

Theres a bitter windchill that weaves its way between us and a relentless shiver that travels up my spine and down to my fingertips.

“Well I think you’re plenty interesting.” I smile proudly, almost foolishly at her and wait for her reaction.

She only hums with a puff through her nose and nods, and when her eyes flicker back up to mine they seem a little bit more focused in on me than before.

“I think you’re very pretty too, by the way.”

She laughs again, holding her index under her nose and crinkling her eyes.

“Don’t.” She braces herself further into the doorway and lulls her head back for a moment before coming back.

“Well it’s true!”

“I would hope so, I mean we were together for, how long?”

I fake offense that she doesn’t have the days counted down like I do. Years to months to days to hours to seconds, I have it all calculated in my head.

“You’re relentless, do you know that JJ?”

“I’ve been told a few times, yes.” It’s my turn to laugh, shifting from the heals of my feet to the balls of my toes. I shove my hands deep into my pockets and pray she doesn’t see the blue of my lips and send me home.

It goes quiet for a brief moment, our breathing pausing in our throats and the cold air releasing foggy puffs through the parts of our lips. It doesn’t get as cold as it would up in New England here, but the frost still nips away at the thin skin I’ve grown and bites at the tips of my fingers and the bottoms of my toes.

“How’s Pope doing?” Her breathing has gone heavy again.

I know she’s specifically asked for Pope because he’s the only one who truly saw my faults. John B and Sarah far too woven into their own web of unfaithfulness and Kiara too unbothered to care. Pope was always the most sensible out of us, so when I came home after nearly half a decade unfazed and claiming to have ended things without solid grounds to stand on, he let me have it. In his dad’s truck, specifically.

Driving downtown to the rich side of the island with bags of groceries slung over each shoulder and the bumps in the road shaking the plastic outrageously loud. I told him first, and part of me knew he would see my mistakes and call them out, but I hadn’t and I didn’t want to. I’d never seen him so mad, threatening to pull over if I didn’t make things right.

You can’t force a person to love someone forever, and you can’t force a person to change their behavior if they can’t see it’s broken. Pope couldn’t have done anything to make me go back. If I had, I would have faced her teary eyes and sad smile telling me that she was alright as long as I was well. She believed me when I said we were better for it, and sometimes I wished that I had picked a girl who could fight.

“He’s well. His dad too, actually. Started making deliveries to the far side of the island to make more money. By this time next year hopefully he’ll be on his way to college.”

“Well, he always was the smart one.”

She smiles underneath her mitten clad hand, looking at her feet.

“We all got lucky, you know? Having someone like him around. It’ll be weird without him around so often anymore.” My thumbs press harder into the bottoms of my pockets to savor the warmth radiating from my thighs.

“I like Pope, he always was my favorite.”

I nod, smiling into the silence again.

“Is he still your best friend, then?” She asks plainly, not really looking for much of an answer.

“No.”

She cocks her head, leaning all of her weight into the wooden door frame.

“Why’s that then? Has John B finally made you lose your mind?”

She never really did like John B. He was loyal and she respected him for it, but he was just like me. He was good but he wasn’t a good person.

“No.” I answer again, trying to hide my growing smile, “You are.”

“That’s funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke.”

She laughs through her nose.

“Yeah well, we barely talk so, I don’t think I can be your best friend.”

“Well you are.”

“Well then thats sad.” She looks at me sympathetically, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout.

“I don’t get to do this with anyone else.”

“Do what?”

“This.” I motion with my hands. “Just sit and talk, even if it’s only for a moment. I guess I just feel better around you, I can’t explain it.”

She’s nodding her head thoughtfully at my words, pulling her mittens off and holding them in one hand carefully.

“JJ.”

I hum, looking up from where I’ve began to stare a hole into my boots.

“You should come in.”

“Okay.”

It’s been too long since I’ve smelled the warmth of the inside of her home. Soft vanilla mixed with the citrus and salt that can only be found in places surrounded by ocean. Yet, I can’t find this smell in any other place. Her perfume lingers beneath the surface of the smell but I can’t quite recall the name of it anymore. It drives me crazy when everything smells like her and I go mad wondering why I would have chased after another girl when I already had her.

“Sorry for the mess.” Her house is small, maybe just a bit smaller than mine but it’s nicer than mine.

She kicks a blanket that has fallen off of the arm of her plush couch into the corner, and I pick it up.

“No, it’s perfect.”

She laughs, opening the door to her room and situating herself underneath her worn in white bed sheets. I hesitate, unsure if she’s welcoming me in with her, though I wouldn’t mind just laying on the floor. She has this soft carpet by the side of her bed that would be comfortable enough for a short time. But to my surprise she does open the bedsheets, scooting over and letting me sit underneath the thick layers.

“I still don’t forgive you, by the way.” She mumbles as I climb in beside her, crossing her arms to prove something.

“I don’t expect you to.” I smile at her, and I catch her vaguely smiling back.

Sitting waist pressed to waist, the heavy comforter weighed down by her stack of blankets piled on top shifts into a tent as she crosses her legs. She pulls it up to her chest so she can hold it under her arms and I wonder how she’s not hot even in the winter chill. I can feel my own sweat sticking to my skin underneath my clothes. Her lighter flickers beside me, a ball of smoke tumbling past her lips before she passes it to me. She lights another for herself.

I laugh at a thought I have, but it comes out stiffed with the paper caught in my mouth.

“I bet you’d pretend not to know me if we bumped into each other.”

The smoke from the blunt I dangled between my fingers disperses into the air leaving a faint smell of weed behind in its wake. I can feel it on my teeth too when I smile.

She doesn’t say anything, staring at me with a gentle smile and serious eyes. Her watchful expression makes me realize how depressing my words were and how true they could be. I swallow, looking down at where the blankets have pooled in my lap.

“Sorry.”

“I would never pretend to not know you, JJ.” She looks at me honest.

“I don’t deserve that.” I confess to no one in particular. I just say it out loud as it comes to my mind and let the reality behind it sink in like a knife to the heart.

“You did bad things.” She swallows, “But you still stuck around after. You promised to make it right and you are. I guess what you’ve done doesn’t seem so bad to me now, even if it is, is what I’m trying to say. Compared to most people, you were actually pretty nice to me.” She smiles sadly and all I want to do is to wrap her in my arms and press soft kisses along the top of her head, but it’s no longer my place to do that and I’ve made it so.

“I wish it were different.”

“How?” She looks at me pitifully, water collecting on her lower lashes. I’m not sure where she’s put the burning paper, if it died between her manicured fingers or if she rubbed it out on one of the books beside her bed, but it’s no longer in her hands when her arms fall heavy against her duvet in defeat.

“I wish we never dated, at least not so soon.” It’s my turn to swallow now. “We would have been better for it. If we had grown up a little first.”

She shakes her head, looking back down at her covered lap.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

“I think we’d grow, but not by much. Growth doesn’t fully change a person and by facing adulthood I don’t think it would have made us end any differently. At the end of the day I’ll still turn to my cigarettes and you’ll still be drunk in the boneyard talking to some pretty tourist.”

“Well I like to think so.”

“And I think you’re naive for it.”

By now the smoke has dwindled down to fog around the room and the old blunt has died out between my index and my thumb.

“I would have done it differently.”

She hums, tell me more, it says.

“I would have bought you flowers. Not only on the special days but just because I love you. Wouldn’t need a reason to show it to you and I wouldn’t be stupid enough to run away from you either.”

I could list everything I could have done better for her endlessly but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s been done.

“We’re still so young, it’s hard to know where things start to go wrong.” She tries to reason, and our eyes avoid the others wearily.

Neither of us talk, listening to the whistling wind banging on the large windows and feeling the faint chill seeping through the walls.

“I don’t drink anymore.” She looks at me.

“Good for you.”

“I do stupid things when I get drunk, I get sloppy I suppose. Talk to people I shouldn’t, hate the wrong people and make everyone feel bad. I don’t really like that feeling. I don’t like being a bad person.” I confess, looking at her and remembering how she’s confirmed my deepest fears without knowing.

“You can be intense but eventually you mellow out and you’re okay again.” She shrugs.

“I know, and I know everybody knows I don’t mean it but if I can prevent it I will.”

She nods again, eyebrows furrowing and her teeth catching her bottom lip. She looks to me with a serious expression.

“What about you. Would you love me if you met me now?” She asks.

“I’ll always love you.”

“But if you didn’t know me, if you didn’t love me. If I was just some girl you’d seen on the beach or in town. Would you be able to love me then?”

“Eventually, yes.” I admit. “I like to think that in some fucked up way you were made for me.”

She smiles at that, picking at her nails shyly.

“Yeah?” She looks up at me with shy eyes.

“Yeah.”

The grass under my feet is soggy, but the warm sun beating down on our shoulders slowly dries it and the dripping leaves above us too. It wasn’t a long winter, but it never really is here. Spring had rolled around just a few months ago with endless showers and relentless sunshine following behind it. Pollen dances in the air in a heavy dusting and the bees have begun picking out the prettiest flowers and the early summer air hangs humid around us.

“You disappeared for a while.” Her hands fold underneath her elbows. She’s swapped out her heavy cardigans for graphic baby tees and faded jeans. Her hair is lighter now than it was in the winter, and she has more freckles on her face.

“It’s only been a few weeks.” She looks at me and I swear I can’t read her so I clear my throat.

“I picked up some shifts with Pope. Trying to save up some money so I can finally do something with myself I guess. You know, I was never really the smartest with my money.” She laughs.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be annoying. Just…missed you is all.” She smiles up at me with a look I haven’t seen in some time.

“You could never be annoying.”

“It’s funny because I was over here thinking that you probably hate me. It’s kind of pathetic because you weren’t really gone for long, but you’re really the only person who still talks to me.”

She leans back against the old wood of her house, her face finding shade underneath the small overhang of her porch.

“I never hated you. I could never hate you. I think you’re really awesome.” I confess and it makes me feel a rush when I say it.

Y/n swallows hard and I can see her smile falter when she looks back up.

“Well…I like you.”

“I like you too.”

She smiles at me and I can’t tell if it’s the birth of exclusivity or friendship blossoming between us.

“I wish I could read your mind.” She mumbles out, stepping closer.

“Why?”

“You’re confusing.”

“Well, I don’t think I am. Maybe you’re confusing yourself.”

“No, it’s definitely you.” She smiles.

“I saw Kiara last week, while you were away. I thought about asking about you but then I figured it might have been weird because it wasn’t really my business. But then I noticed she was wearing my old shirt. I knew it was mine because I used to leave it at your house when we would fall asleep before I could crawl out the window. I never took it back and she was wearing it.” She breathed through her nose, “I guess I was just confused why you kept it. I mean, we agreed that we were better for it, you were so convinced that if we saw other people we would be so much happier. You saw another girl all summer, so I guess it just confused me why you wouldn’t have tossed it.”

“Maybe I wanted an excuse to see you again.”

“See, you’re confusing.”

“I don’t get your point.”

She huffs, hanging her shoulders and rolling her eyes.

“Someone who falls in love with someone else doesn’t keep their ex girlfriend’s shirt, they don’t worry about the next time they’ll run into each other.”

“Maybe I was just being a good friend.” I shrug, smiling as I stuff my hands into my pockets.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what!” I throw my arms up playfully and I can see how hard she’s fighting against a smile.

“Well were you? Being a good friend, that is?”

I shrug.

“Maybe, I’m not sure. I mean, I guess I never really thought about throwing it out because I was so used to you being there. You never said you wanted it back so, I never asked you. It’s funny too because when Kiara found it, she told me the same thing. She said it was stupid of me to keep something that wasn’t mine and took it. But I guess she didn’t have the heart to give it back to you either.” I find myself rambling.

“What if I wanted it back now?”

“Well do you?”

She shakes her head and all of our words seem to die on our tongues.

“She never stayed the night, by the way.”

“What?”

“The girl, the one I saw this summer.”

“Oh.” I see her cringing at the mere mention of the girl, Amanda, I think was her name but the whole summer was a drunken blur and the only times I ever saw her was after I was six shots deep and in need of a distraction.

After a five day bender and the hard reality of sobriety I came to my senses, she was nothing more than sex. Still, explaining that to Y/n wouldn’t have helped my case. It would have only made both of us feel bad. I left her for another girl who I didn’t even really like and nobody knew why.

“I don’t think it’s important, but I thought you’d want to know.”

“I’m not mad anymore, about her.”

“Well are you still hurt?” She looks at me through her lashes, index fingers picking at the skin around her thumbs.

“Sorry, stupid question.”

“It doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”

“But I still hurt you?”

“JJ.” She sighs, hands finding their way around her stomach.

“I still feel like kicking myself every time I think about it. You were always so good to me, you are. You let me into your house and you give me all these chances even after I fucked it all up. I don’t know why I did it, and I hate myself for it everyday.”

It goes silent for what feels like the millionth time today.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” She looks at me carefully, fingers pulling at the fabric around her waist like it’s suffocating her.

“I don’t expect you to say anything.”

She nods, “Okay.”

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

Theres a pause, and her eyes move back like she’s thinking really hard for her answer.

“I already have.”

Her words don’t give me the clarity I hoped they would. In fact, they make me feel worse. Even after I hurt her, left her alone for something not even half as good. I played two girls in the span of three months and I paid little to no consequences. She let me show her how sorry I was when she shouldn’t have and now all I can picture is her sorry face when I told her it was over for the first time.

“Do you think I’m naive for it?” She asks quietly.

“For forgiving me?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “For falling in love with you again.” I don’t know how to answer her when she consistently leaves me speechless.

“I don’t know.” I look her, hoping to find an answer. “How do you feel about it?”

“I don’t know, thats my issue. I can look back on something and think I know what I felt at the time but, I don’t know. When it’s actually happening, I guess I have no idea how I feel or how to think.”

“Then how do you know you love me?”

“I don’t know. I never have a clue. I guess I just feel different around you than most people. But it’s not as obvious as other people make it sound, it’s the little things.” She confesses.

“I can tell you how I feel, if that would help.”

“Okay.” She nods.

I take a second to gather what I have to say in an effort to avoid some sort of word vomit from spewing out, but it’s to no avail.

“I thought you were shy when I first met you. Normally for me, I wouldn’t stick around for long because even with talkative people I find myself annoying. I hate the sound of my voice after some time. I figured I’d grow tired of my own voice quickly with you.”

Y/n looks at me, trying to figure me out.

“But you’re really not all that shy, you’re just careful. You think before you speak and maybe that’s why you don’t do a lot of it. Because you know what and when to say things and what sounds bad before you say it. You never know how you feel, but you know what you think and I think thats twice as important. Our conversations were different because of that. I could talk for hours and because I was talking to you I never focused on the sound of my voice or how tired I was of hearing it, I only thought of you. I guess that’s the scary part of it all, falling in love, that is. You don’t know you’ve done it until you try to think of something else and you realize you haven’t even tried to think of anything else without everything leading back to that one person.”

“That’s kind of scary to think about.” She laughs half heartedly.

“Because it is. That’s the fucked up thing about it all, nobody tells you that falling in love is more of developing an obsession to another person. It’s wanting to be around them all the time and praying every second you’re away from them that they’ll come around again soon. It’s the inability to let go after you swore to yourself you were done and it’s why I keep coming back to you.”

Theres a pause. I don’t realize how red my face has gotten until I stop talking.

“I think we’re probably just sick.” She smiles with her teeth, pushing my shoulder back to walk past me. We’ve left her front lawn so many times before. I’ve chased her across her lawn and rolled with her in the weeds, but I’ve grown so used to the faint glowing of her front porch lights and the flickering of the fairy lights strung across the door that it always catches me off guard when she moves away from the doorway.

“I think you’re probably right.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t be together, then. Maybe you were right. We were better for it.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s true.”

“How could you not? You said it so you must believe in it.”

Shes playing with me and she knows it. Even though Y/n claims she’s hurting less and less the more we open up, I can tell theres still a wound bleeding somewhere deep, someplace within her that likes to see me frantic.

“Maybe I did then, but I don’t now.”

“Why?”

“Well, then you were just my girlfriend.”

“And I’m your ex now, so I guess it’s probably worse.”

It’s my turn to laugh now.

“No. I think it’s different now because I’m not only in love with you, but I love you.” I feel like I’m seven again, running around the blacktop and chasing around Y/n and tugging her by her pigtails. I feel like I’ve just confessed my school crush to her and it’s thrilling but horrifying all at once.

“Do you love me enough to be honest with me?” She smiles wider.

“I love you enough to do just about anything for you.”

“Did you ever see me in her?”

Somehow every time it gets good I am reminded of my past. It’s my karma. I’ve hurt her so it only makes sense for her to want to know everything before I earn her heart again.

“All the time.”

For the first time in forever, she steps closer, her hands resting on my waist gently and her breathing shallow against my neck.

“How?” Our noses practically touch when I look down at her.

“She was quiet, careful. She was never as smart as you but if I was drunk enough I could have made up anything. You guys would have been best friends, I’m convinced, if it were a different lifetime. Same jokes, same hobbies. The only difference was her heart.”

I find my hands threading themselves between the stray hairs by her neck, and I can see how her eyes relax the closer I inch towards her.

“You were much softer than she was, and I realized then that I only really ever wanted her because she reminded me so much of you. And it’s weird because I already had you.”

For a second I think she’s going to kiss me, and for a second I know she thinks so too. But her hands slip away from mine and her head ducks beneath my hands to unthread them from her hair to get away. She’s clearing her throat and mumbling soft apologies as she makes her way back up to the porch.

I feel angry, and I know it’s not my right to. I had her and I lost her through my own actions. I have no one else to blame. Yet, I find myself feeling vulnerable in a way I’ve never felt it before. It makes me feel sick knowing how close we got to fixing things and how quickly it was stripped away. I feel useless, and I figure it must be how Y/n felt when I left her and told her it was for the best.

“So that’s it then? What, we just tell each other we love each other and we pretend it never happened?”

“JJ, please.”

I can tell shes tired, conflicted over her own actions, but I can’t wait any longer to figure it out.

“I know it’s my fault but I’m trying to fix it, fix us! I miss you, more than anything and I can’t talk to anyone like I talk to you. I don’t know what else to say, Y/n. I love you, I love you so much it drives me crazy and I fucking miss what we had.”

She doesn’t say anything.

“JJ, I told you when you first came around. You knew this. I won’t fight for us, I can’t do that again.”

“So then why do you let me stick around?”

“Someone ought to hold you to your words. If you’re going to stay, then stay but I won’t fight for you if you leave.”

“Well I wish you would.” I can feel myself growing angry. I wish I didn’t get that from my father, his temper. I wish I was more like Y/n, more level headed and calm. But I was born angry and I am because I remember the way I ended things and I remember how quickly she accepted it.

“You lost that privilege when you left me for her.”

“Don’t throw that at me, we both know you couldn’t even argue with me then!”

“How could I, JJ? You’d made up your mind, why should I stick around if you’ve gotten eyes for someone else?” Her throat is scratchy, she doesn’t even have to look at me for me to know she’s trying not to cry. I want to beg her not to, because I know I won’t be able to withstand her wet doe eyes, but I’ve done it to myself.

“You know that’s not what happened, I told you what happened!” I feel the way we’re both growing tired. We get good and we fall apart.

“If you want to talk, we can talk but I can’t give you what you want. I can’t fight for someone who’s not even mine.”

“So then you want to see other people?”

“I never said that.”

“Well you implied it.”

She doesn’t say anything, shoulders shaking over the old railings of her porch. Her breathing is heavy but she doesn’t speak.

“So I guess if you want to see other people, then we should see other people.”

“Do what you want JJ, but just don’t come back here.”

She doesn’t mean it, we both know she doesn’t. She told me months ago she would never love me again, and though she has grown to find room in her heart for me, she’ll never let me see her vulnerable again.

I can feel the dirt coating my socks as it kicks up behind me. I’m not walking fast, but it feels like it with how dizzy I’m getting. Her door shuts with a slam and I swear I can hear a faint cry echo through her kitchen. But I’ll never know because I was too careless to try and knock.

It’s a different girl every time, but they’re all the same. John B gave me shit for it last summer when it first ended. I claimed to be chasing something better but they were all just different versions of the same girl.

There was always something off, the hair, the smile, the laugh. But if I drank enough and squinted hard enough I could almost see Y/n again and it would help convince myself that I was fine with her absence.

I find the fog of the early summer bonfires to be suffocating now, even with the solo cup in my hand and consistent pats on my back from classmates and old friends. I’ve flirted with half the island by now, I’m sure of it, and I probably look a mess but the tourist in front of me doesn’t seem to mind.

She looks like my Y/n too, they both like the same music. I wonder if I’ll accidentally call her the wrong name later tonight.

I told Y/n I stopped drinking, but I never promised it to her. So I suppose that’s how I ended up back where I started, trying to drown out my own issues with a warm beverage and a random girl.

I haven’t really been listening to what she has to say, I can only wonder what Y/n would think about her and if she would approve. It makes me feel sick knowing how many people I hurt in the process of healing, and I wonder if you can even consider it healing at this point.

“JJ!” A soft voice breaks through a loud crowd, dashing through the center of a bonfire to find me hanging back along the outskirts.

The girl in front of me shoots both of us a dirty look and walks away without saying a word.

“Y/n?” My vision is blurry and I wonder if it’s really her or if I’ve drank far too much.

“You’re drunk.”

“What?” The cup in my hand finds its way into the hot sand and over the intense stench of alcohol I can smell the welcoming scent of her perfume.

“Do you take me as a joke?” Her eyes are watering, shaky fingers wrapped around my wrists. I can see the faint flickering of the bonfire illuminating the side of her face. She looks so pretty like this, so tired.

“What the fuck are you on about, Y/n?”

“I let you into my home, into my bed; my bed!” She restlessly pokes her finger into her chest, clammy hands gripping onto my skin harder than ever.

“Well I didn’t make you!”

“You didn’t make it easy either!” She shoots daggers in my direction, stray looks from passersby’s tell us to quiet down.

“Yeah whatever.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She all but begs.

“You could have any boyfriend you want, you know. Boy’s are consistently falling in love with you, from what I’ve heard.” I slur, my right foot falling in front of my left and still Y/n holds me in place.

“Stop that, stop it now JJ I don’t like it.” She pleads through her gritted teeth.

“Right.” I roll my eyes.

“You don’t hate me. You told me so when I asked you, you even told me you liked me so stop being mean.”

“Maybe I’m just immune to you.” I try and joke through foggy memories and a sloppy smile, “Because I knew you before, in school when you still wore pigtails.”

“Right, when I was ugly and pathetic? You obviously don’t know me now JJ if you’re acting this way.” I ignore her insults, I couldn’t even process them if I tried.

“No, you were never ugly or pathetic.”

She looked at me, confused, not sure where this fight is leading us and unsure if we’d ever bounce back from it. Even sober our conversation is unclear, weaving between different topics and creating sore spots that’ll surely kill us soon.

“I know I’d be a shit boyfriend if I were yours. I’d rather anyone else, even the guys on figure eight who spit on me when I walk by.”

“JJ, you’re drunk, let me take you home, we can figure it all out soon.” My hands rip themselves from her grip, stumbling back into the sand.

“Why do you care so much JJ? Let me take you home, we can talk in the morning.”

“Because I’m selfish and even though I know you’d be happier without me I can’t even stand the thought of you being happy with anyone else but me.” Looking at my feet, I feel the tears falling from my eyes onto my feet buried in the sand. “Y/n I need to know if you love me or not.”

Neither of us can speak, and it feels like everyone around us can’t seem to find the words to explain out situation either.

“JJ.” She pleads softly.

“I probably should have mentioned this before, but I was seeing someone.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.”

Y/n doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t even breathe, and the quiet is so loud that I can’t help the drunken rambling that leaves my mouth. “That girl, I can’t remember her name now, but the one I had last summer, I saw her up until the fall. I asked her out too. Should have mentioned that before but then again, I feel like you hardly ever let me in anymore so.” I shrug, and because of the way my eyes so heavily avoided her’s I almost missed the way she looked at me like I was poison.

“I called her by your name, that’s why she said no.”

The world seems to fall quiet around us, stray smoke from the nearby fire weaving between us and sticking in our hair and on our clothes.

“Why are you telling me this? Is it because you’re trying to be such a good friend, is that it, JJ?”

“No—yes, I don’t know, I just needed to tell you.”

Her sniffles are deafening, I feel sicker than before hearing her fighting her tears.

“Oh god, oh my god!” Her hands cover her face, pulling down until her hands clasp tightly over her quivering mouth.

“I’m sorry, I want to fix things, I thought if I told you, you would like me better!” I try to rationalize but she only shakes her head.

“I thought it would be different, you know? I really did believe you when you said we were better for it, having taken a break to grow and learn. But I’m just as naive as I was when I was yours and I’m just as stupid for taking you back!” She spits it like venom, still backing away.

“You said it yourself, I’m not a good person.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t believe you could be one.”

It’s quiet again between us, and her touch on my skin lingers like a tattooed kiss, her words replaying in my mind.

Y/n believed we could work it out, but she was smarter than I was and more careful too. She knew better than to chase after something that was never meant to work out.

“I do love you, I really do. What we had, what we have done. We’ve done so much good for one another.”

“No, no.” I try to follow her, but my feet fail me. I fan barely walk straight, let alone chase her.

“You know I love you, Y/n, you have to. I’m never going to feel the same way I feel for you for anybody else.”

She looks at me and it tells me everything I need to know.

I can promise her all my love and all my heart but it’ll never make us right, not ever again.

When she leaves, it’s quietly, the frame of her body losing its color in the darkness of the early summer night. It reminds me a lot of how this all started, and I feel sick.

I could stay as long as I wanted, but the truth was my devotion did not matter anymore, because she was always destined to go.

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