#so-much-purple

[extasiswings]

I'm probably reaching, but, y'know, brainrot.

3 minutes and 17 seconds.

3.17 the episode where Bobby was stuck in the front of the truck thinking Athena was dying.

*GASP* OH. SICK AND TWISTED BUT EXACTLY THE KIND OF UNHINGED SHIT THEY LOVE

(No no and like…the whole point of that was that Bobby was stuck there and Athena didn’t know what it did to him and it wasn’t until later that they actually talked about it and Bobby confessed how it made him feel to be in that situation KINDA HOW BUCK AND EDDIE HAVEN’T TOUCHED EACH OF THEIR RESPECTIVE ROLES IN AND REACTIONS TO THE WELL AND THE SHOOTING AND THE LIGHTNING STRIKE)

#chapel talks #so-much-purple #ask

[hmslusitania]

I have been working my way through your 9-1-1 fic since yesterday (sorry, not sorry), and now AO3 is down. I am taking this very personally.

Ive been appreciating your comments! I’m sorry ao3 is suffering an attack!

#the ghost ship answers questions #so-much-purple

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

10. For the fanfic writer ask me e, if you please.

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Oh, for sure. I was not expecting my Witcher fics or my early Buddie fics to get as much traction and attention as they did. I also expected more of a reaction to Further Than Blood (Or Than Bones), I'm very proud of that one but I feel like the blood kink and violence in it kinda turned people off more than I was expecting. I also honestly expected Direct Deposit to get backlash. It's not really a Buddie fic (or, there is Buddie in it, right at the end), the ending is bittersweet, and it's a character study of Buck in a bad mental place while simultaneously getting his brains fucked out which is a lot for people. Luckily I've only ever gotten one nasty comment on it, and I got more readers, and more of a positive response about it, than I was expecting. Psychoanalyzing through smut FTW I guess ha ha.

#mads answers things #so-much-purple #fanfic writer asks

[nereemac]

Tumblr terminated my account and isn't answering my messages. Aargh.

#so-much-purple #tumblr

[dispatchpodcast]

I just wanted to let you know that any and all futzing you do with the blog theme is totally worth it. I just visited it on desktop for the first time ever and it is a thing of beauty.

Aw, thank you so much! I can’t take any credit though, it’s all down to the gorgeous nightshade theme by seyche.

It’s silly, but adding new guests to the little sidebar is my favourite thing to do with the podcast tumblr 😂

#answered #so-much-purple

[skipppppy]

Back by popular demand. English Willy part 3

(Idk if I'll do another bc I feel like its run its course and unlike Scott Cawthon I would like to end my series on a high note! But to everyone who sent in asks or showed support or generally took part I love all of you and had so much fun with this. I might do more in future but I don't want part 4 to hang over me as something I HAVE to do)

#this took SO MUCH WORK #worth it #fnaf #english willy #helloscully #five nights at freddys #fnaf 3 #springtrap #william afton #purple guy #fazbear frights #michael afton #mike schmidt #unreality tw

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie William says the mask stays on-

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #vanessa fnaf #fnaf vanessa #steve raglan #spring bonnie #springtrap #william afton #purple guy #fnaf #fnaf fanart #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #the idea William is obsessed with wearing the suit all the time is so funny #dude loves his oc so much #sorry to Vanessa again

[dxdfish]

>:]]]]

#gtws #gtws fanart #secret life #goodtimeswithscar fanart #gtws secret life #emmm #tw bright colors #love the skin soooooo much #im so normal #th red purpl black combo makes me go AAA #yes #normal #:333333 #goodtimeswithscar

[extasiswings]

I have been noticing things, and I don't know what to make of them, so I am bringing them to you, because you have been blessed/cursed by Apollo's dodgeball and are also great at connecting dots. I apologise.

I am worried about Buck's lungs. His sats dropped when he was in a coma, to the point of needing ECMO, but during his recovery we only saw him see a cardiologist, no respiratory rehab was mentioned. Now his PT scores are down. The show has also been weirdly pointed about focusing on sats monitors being put on people's fingers during calls. They've done it on at least 3 of the calls since Buck's been back, and at no point have the people's sats been mentioned - even the woman face down in dough, who was started on oxygen. That in itself isn't a big deal - they're a quick way of getting a heartrate, and its standard practice to put one on. But why keep showing them? Then this week, Maddie had the call with the kid where she had to remind him how to breathe.

So, what do you think? Is there anything there, or am I projecting because I'm having to have respiratory physio after covid?

Just when I thought I couldn't get any more unhinged! No, there is DEFINITELY something there and I'm not gonna be normal about it. There are a couple of different places my mind went to (because it's not just Buck, Eddie's in this too) so apologies if this is scattered:

Buck + Death is the big overarching theme looming over Buck's healing journey. Buck's life has been about Death since before he was even born, when he was conceived to be a savior baby...and was a match...but Daniel still died anyway. And Buck has been running towards Death ever since, seeking it out, courting it like a lover without even realizing why, never knowing that Daniel's ghost was haunting him. He has internalized so completely this idea that his value is entirely dependent on what he can do for others, on how much he can sacrifice, can give, up to and including his own life. The fact that the problem was Buck's lungs in the episode where he was reckoning with Daniel for the first time while trapped in his subconscious mind was inspired and a huge callback to Buck Begins, after Buck first learned about Daniel, with Buck in the warehouse fire taking off his mask and telling the guy he was trying to save that he would just hold his breath. And Buck's been holding his breath in a sense ever since. Spiraling. Stagnating. Regressing. He quit therapy. He trapped himself for a year in a soulless relationship because he was already depressed but then the shooting happened and Eddie basically told him he wasn't allowed to keep trying to kill himself, taking away one of his main self-harming coping mechanisms (passive suicidality brushed off by telling himself he's actually helping people), all of that.

There are also the crush injuries surrounding him (which I wrote about in 6A as being super sus). Thomas and Mitchell and a car accident crush injury, the first call where Buck begins explicitly associating romantic love with death. Buck being crushed under the ladder truck, which ultimately led to the blood clots and a pulmonary embolism because he wouldn't let himself rest and recover, wouldn't let himself heal or slow down, because he was too focused on getting back to work where he could (in his mind) be useful, be worth something, could save lives. And he admitted then that he didn't know what/who he was without the job, and ironically almost torched all of his relationships with the people who love him regardless in order to get back to it. And then of course there's also Lev. Lev trying to find the secrets to happiness but instead being crushed to death by a walkway that collapsed because the hotel identified the problem but never made the repairs. And it was through him that Buck started thinking that he could find all the answers he's been looking for in death.

But...Buck died. Actually died. And despite his joke about his math powers and being the guy with the answers, he doesn't have them all.

At the end of 6x11, he took a breath. He took a step. He allowed himself a little bit of self-awareness, of self-reflection, he dipped his toe into the water of the root trauma that has led him to all the others. But he's awake now, and what has he done? By all accounts it looks like exactly what he's done every other time/like he's falling back into the same bad habits. He let his mom steamroll him into getting him a couch that he didn't want. He threw himself back into work as soon as he could and keeps trying to brush off the fact that he went through a serious trauma (physical/mental/emotional) to the point that the people who love him have to keep reminding him that he literally died. He has the tools he needs to heal, but isn't actually taking the steps to get there. And, as you point out, they're potentially foreshadowing that there are still problems with his lungs that may still get worse.

Because Buck is, at heart, one big crush injury. He has been suffocating under the weight of trauma after trauma since he was born, conceived in grief and then discarded. He has been suffocating under the weight of hiding his true feelings from others (up to and including hiding them from himself) and leaving so many necessary things unsaid. But it also makes me think about Eddie and Home Invasion and the call at Marisol's and everything that I've been saying about insulation as protection but too much protection stifling you so much that you can't breathe. Buck being "the settler" in romantic relationships because he can't get hurt (at least not as badly) if he's not actually attached to the relationship, never going after/asking for what he really wants. Eddie being his own variation on "the fugitive" always running from the things that he's most afraid of. Both of them trying desperately to protect their hearts from getting broken and instead ending up in a place where they are both always dying...

Idk, there's something about Buck + Death and Eddie + Fear and Buck constantly suffocating vs. Eddie drowning, and Buck starting the season not wanting to make the same mistakes but also possibly "misunderstanding the assignment" with this death doula, and water finding its level...yeah...yeah...

#chapel talks #so-much-purple

[titenoute]

Meme redraw OG Rayman prefers to choose kindness whenever he can...

V.2 :

But sometimes, you gotta send a message.

#...that's the second time I draw a relatively pacifist cartoonish character choosing violence in the span of 2 years #and he's purple themed too...kinda #uh #it's not much but it's weird it happened twice #oh well #ramon #rayman #it's been a struggle with those pictures bc guess what #I had to format the computer #and I *thought* I had all my CSP materials backed up in a file #but apparently they changed the placement of the material files without a warning and I didn't back up jack on the cloud #I have a few brushes I had put aside just in case and did well to do so #but all the brush and presets I've created are gone...color palettes included #i am an adult i am not going to cry #back up your material files kids #don't be like me #meme

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Six Steepleton from The Watchmaker of Filigree Street. She is canonically a biter.

I had to ask a friend about this one and she informed me it's a compliment so thank you!

#mads answers things #so-much-purple #what character do I remind you of? #and before I get a bunch of asks about it the friend did explain the plot #she did recommend the book to me #it is now on my to-read list

[reimeichan]

Signs of having DID that I ignored (note that these are not exclusively signs of DID but they were for me):

I don't have amnesia, that's just short term memory loss because I have ADHD!

I actually have a very good memory, I'm great at memorizing things (what do you mean that's not the same thing)

sure it may seem like my mood changes drastically but I've read online that's common in people with ADHD! it's hard for us to regulate our emotions!

so what if I have different preferences from time to time? that's normal right? like when your mood changes you may prefer different foods? what do you mean that's not the same as going from "I hate spicy foods" one day to "omg I LOVE spicy foods!" the next?

yeah okay I tend to space out in the middle of conversations then come back to and need you to remind me what you said for the past 10 seconds or so. that's just my ADHD inattentiveness. what do you mean that I only do this when stressed. what do you mean that's a form of dissociation.

speaking of dissociation, sure sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself say and do things without my own input but that's just because I was tired/stressed out

yeah sometimes I go on autopilot. my autopilot seems to have its own agenda sometimes though. weird.

sure I changed usernames a *few* times but isn't that pretty common? yeah I also wanted to change how I presented online and also my pronouns and stuff but again isn't it common for people to want to start over sometimes?

*making multiple accounts to play the same game because I play the game differently on different accounts and don't want to mess things up on one account*

oh yes, I'm genderfluid! I say that because my gender absolutely changes from moment to moment and sure it seems kinda tied to other aspects of myself like color preferences and energy levels and personality traits but I'm pretty sure that's just par for the course with genderfluidity?

"you're so different when you're around your parents vs when you're at school/work vs when you're hanging out with friends!" yeah that's called being a complex person we all have different masks we wear in different social situations and I'm no different even if it seems more extreme for me

"how was school/work/the hang-out/going to visit your parents?" I don't know I'm tired and have a giant headache and can't remember

"you said this to me the other day and it made me feel <x>" what????? I literally have no memory of this and that's so incredibly out of character for me wtf I would never do that I was probably just really stressed out and tired and had no filter on.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #there's like. so much more but I have therapy right now and honestly this is a pretty good list #by green #by gray #by purple #putting this here in case other people may see this and relate and not feel as alone in their own journeys #we're going through a denial spike rn so it was helpful for us to write some of this stuff down

[manosaldibujo]

Hey hey hey, some of my toughts on this versions of Donnies.

Yhea i like donnies.

#tmnt #donatello #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 80s #please more love to the 2007 version #like the movie is not good yhea it is not but please- #he is just so GOOOD so cute so supportive #he (probably the principal) breadwinner of the family like PLEASE LOVE HIM MORE IT’S THE HIM #Yhea miguel works too but you know he is miguel #deaaam i love purple blorbos so much

[7cfc00]

get his ass scary !!!

#dndads #dndads fanart #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 #dndads season 2 #dndads spoilers #scary marlowe #willy stampler #dndaddies #dndads quest #first time trying to properly letter a thing i still dont get how vectors work in photoshop... #i probably made some errors and committed heinous sins against comic lettering but oh well #also the colours were SO HARD for this one. too purple man too much

[echoingkarma]

They!

Reblogs are appreciated!

Also just to share our Magmas from yesterday to have it all together:

#fnaf sb #fnaf ruin #fnaf ruin dlc #fnaf #fnaf sb eclipse #fnaf security breach #ruin eclipse #my art #doodles #fnaf ruin spoilers #unreasonably fun and hard to draw at the same time #you can see our draw to purples and pinks so much here its. listen #theyre good colours

[hoaxghost]

ive been so sick past week but seeing the new disney trailer for Wish awoke something petty inside of me. So petty I went bout redesigning the protagonists look cause I’m sorry but her outfit...? Kinda bland. Wanted to try adding lil bit more ‘oomph’ to the design.

#disney #disney wish #like its so blatently designed with the toy in mind #i do like her hair and i like purple but shes not giving me much #redesign #i guess #on twitter i tried being nicer but in tumblr im tearing into it i ranted to my friends online #how much i dislike recent disney designs cause theyre so safe #then again the god damn mouse has always been safe