#sometimes its clunky but seasons 1 and 2 and some of 3 are just so comforting

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21/01/2023 (Miley Cyrus, Fredo, Bizarrap/Shakira)

I do like the turnaround we have at the top in 2023 so far. Last week’s #1 plummeted to #12 and its replacement is a debut at #1 with incredible streams, seemingly out of nowhere, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus, becoming her third #1 and first since 2013. Well, the next album cycle’s definitely off to a good start. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

We start the episode as always with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, that list includes “Alone” and “Last Last” by Burna Boy, “Celestial” by Ed Sheeran, “Music for a Sushi Restaurant” by Harry Styles and finally, “go” by Cat Burns and “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals.

We also saw two returning entries, with “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)” by Whitney Houston bizarrely keeping momentum at #71, and Taylor Swift having “Lavender Haze” return to #43 as it now out-performs “You’re on Your Own, Kid” and the three-song rule can be silly sometimes. As for what else is filling up space in terms of our notable gains, we see boosts for “We Caa Done” by Popcaan and Drake at #50, “Players” by Coi Leray at #45, “About You” by The 1975 at #41, “Superhero (Heroes & Villains)” by Metro Boomin, Future and Chris Brown at #39, “People” by Libianca surging to #27 (at least that’s good news), “Lionheart (Fearless)” by Joel Corry and Tom Grennan at #18, and finally, “Creepin’” by Metro Boomin, The Weeknd and 21 Savage deservedly finding its way into the top 10 at #7.

Yeah, it’s kind of a dull week outside of our new arrivals, but they are the most important story here so I’ll get to them as soon as possible. Our top five of the UK Singles Chart consists of “messy in heaven” by venbee and goddard. at #5, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #4, “Kill Bill” by SZA at #3, “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake at #2 and of course, “Flowers” at #1 but we’ll talk about that one later.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “Bel Mercy” – Jengi

Produced by Jengi

So in 2010, renowned neo-Nazi – I mean, rapper Kanye West released a song “Mercy”, which peaked at #55 in the UK. The song features incredible guest verses from his (former) GOOD Music labelmates and also an iconic beat sampling “Dust a Sound Boy”, a dancehall song by Super Beagle. It’s a menacing, isolated sample with a raw, nasal energy to it, and combined with the sample of YB’s “Lambo”, it plainly goes hard. So this Dutch guy Jengi puts the same sample under a... unique beeping loop and an almost lo-fi drum pattern, with some admittedly sweet flutes and a generally groovy vibe that kind of passes off as chill... if it weren’t for that unfitting sample. He lifts some of the “Lambo” samples too but not to much effect, and the Super Beagle track just kind of feels out of place. It deserves a proper ragga jungle remix, not this barely-there house tune that would honestly be a pretty good, basic song without it. The whole amateur-sounding 90s house vibe could very much work as just that – an admittedly clunky vibe – especially when that completely unnecessary bass synth comes in, and makes for a pretty decent beat... but there’s still that annoying, time-stretched dancehall sample over it that just makes no sense. The worst part is that it sounds built around that sample, so removing it would eventually create a completely different song, which is a shame because the foundation of this is okay. It’s just the cheap attempt at adding a recognisable sample that leaves this otherwise decent track kind of dead in the water for me.

#69 – “Nonsense” – Sabrina Carpenter

Produced by Julian Bunetta

I figured that this one would have charted during the holiday season due to the “A Nonsense Christmas” version but I suppose it’s better late than never. Sabrina Carpenter is a former Disney actress nowadays singer-songwriter, and well, this is essentially a bro-country song, right? It has your standard country acoustics and twang with sweet, homely harmonies plunged under an ugly trap beat with the lead singer using unfitting rap flows. All of that is good in this case, by the way, because I absolutely love this song. I still don’t think that we’ve had enough good, fun and dumb pop music since Katy Perry left the pop sphere, and this gets pretty close with the absolutely unsubtle innuendo and the cheesy lyrics delivered with exactly enough melodrama and ironic self-seriousness for it to seem completely unabashed and embracing of its admittedly cringeworthy, Glee-level gimmick. Carpenter isn’t a particularly unique vocal presence but that moment in the chorus where she actually raises the octave in that meta-harmony is a beautifully dumb moment, and the trap beat has a real rumble to it that makes sure the song never gets stiff. Her performance is never copy-pasted either, with the backing harmonies littering the mix so it’s always busy and her slippery cadence making the song feel really organic. Admittedly, I wish the main guitar lead had more to do with the actual vocal melody, as it does feel like a really well-placed song rather than one that’s intrinsically written and constructed... but if we’re going to get this type of ridiculous music nowadays, I suppose it has to take just enough hints from the 2020s school of pop to get on streaming playlists and the radio. Regardless, it’s a great song, and the improvisational lyrics at the end, which apparently change at every show she performs, are a nice touch that makes the song feel just that bit more organic and alive. Please make this a hit.

#60 – “Gimme” – Sam Smith featuring Koffee and Jessie Reyez

Produced by Sam Smith, Jimmy Napes, StarGate and Anju Blaxx

So, Sam Smith is releasing a new album, and this seems to be the single to follow “Unholy”, though it may seem too soon since the song is still pretty high on global charts and whilst I don’t think Smith can exactly flood the market or oversaturate themselves given their recurring-character role in the world of pop music, I do think it’s unlikely for people to gladly pick up another Sam Smith single to stream nearly as much as they did “Unholy”... especially since that one barely worked with two of them, so I was wondering how bringing in both Canadian singer Jessie Reyez and Jamaican reggae artist Koffee would even work without it feeling like too many cooks. The answer is that it doesn’t, with none of these artists actually contributing enough to feel like they can call it their song. Reyez handles the hook, but the hook is an incessant repetition that means nothing over a dreary, minimal “tropical” beat with shuffling, groove less percussion and no melody to speak of. Sam Smith has the first verse and somehow in a song that mentions public sex, continues to be incredibly coy and just outright refuse to be sexy... perhaps because they can’t, as they get all soulful in the pre-chorus which does not fit the song at all and then... seemingly disappear from their own song until the next pre-chorus comes around. Koffee doesn’t do much more than give a staccato second verse, and then every single one of these artists, none of which have actually demonstrated a personality or role in the song’s narrative or lack thereof, now brand themselves as background vocalists to each other, whilst the pathetic excuse for dancehall continues to meander in the background. It’s not sexy, it’s not fun, it’s just a confusing slog.

#57 – “No Difference” – Clavish

Produced by R14 Beats and Off & Out

You know, I was listening to Clavish whilst looking at pictures of brick walls and I also saw “No Difference”. Okay, maybe that was a tad mean but like most songs I’ve heard from Clavish, this is uninteresting. Sure, the stock strings sound dramatic enough, but they are cheap as Hell and with the even cheaper-sounding guitar loop and skittering trap percussion, it just sounds ugly in a not particularly grimy way. Clavish himself goes with the same flow and describes gang violence in a way that isn’t particularly profound or unique, which wouldn’t really matter if his delivery was cold or bloodthirsty but he really is just getting into the booth and allowing his first take to get into the DAW here. By the second verse, he’s onto flexing anyway, and the first verse has the questionable lyric wherein he references his former friend going to jail for domestic assault, separating himself from that guy because the only time he’s beating women is when he has sex with them. Oh, and he can’t remember what the female sex organs are called, so he calls the vagina a “something”. This is the guy who named his album Rap Game Awful.

#31 – “Shakira: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53” – Bizarrap and Shakira

Produced by Bizarrap

So this may seem odd, especially in the UK, so we’ll need some explanation here. Bizarrap is an Argentine DJ who has this YouTube series called “Bzrp Music Sessions” wherein he produces a beat whilst a singer or rapper from across the Latin world performs some kind of vaguely freestyled song over it. Shakira, who I think would melt me by saying “Hello” and otherwise needs no introduction, has not had a pop hit since 2014. Bizarrap’s series has steadily gained more attention, with the previous session featuring Spanish singer Quevedo becoming a global smash. Since it’s in Spanish, it did not crossover here. A decade earlier, Shakira had started a relationship with Spanish footballer Gerard Piqué, and they married and had two children later on. In June of last year, just before the song with Quevedo blew up, they separated. Shakira, needing good PR since she is literally going to be on trial for tax fraud, and Bizarrap, seeing a good opportunity for more vilarity, team up and create her biggest hit in years and his biggest viral smash yet... and possibly the second biggest Latin American disappointment for a footballer in the past two months because this is scathing. It is speculated that Shakira found out about Piqué cheating because neither he or their children like jam, only Shakira, so she was suspicious when she had left and found jam had been eaten. The song is full of references to detailed celebrity gossip and lore like this between the two so I could be here for years discussing it, but the wordplay is surprisingly tight for a non-rap song and for a kiss-off, it is as bitchy and dominating as it should be coming from an empress like Shakira knocking down a guy who didn’t treat her well during their relationship and had recently cheated... because come on, how are you going to cheat on Shakira?! Due to legal issues, her father’s health issues and a custody battle, she reasonably felt like a hostage in an unhealthy relationship in Spain, and she mocks how this girl just will never be as good, to which he responded by... announcing a partnership with the Casio watch she makes fun of, and showing up in the car she derides. Well, divorces in the public eye are never neat, are they? It helps that Bizarrap’s production is incredible here, with a menacing synthwave bass groove kicked straight into transcendent territory thanks to the multi-tracked harmonies and some of the punchiest drums I’ve heard Shakira ever sing over. That falsetto hook is catchy enough to stand out whilst blending amidst all the synths to become a universal chorus, and was a genius add since you don’t need to learn Spanish to know she sounds badass here, especially when she starts semi-rapping. The intricate details in the beat are only there for Bizarrap’s bragging rights, sure, as it’s his music video after all, but the drop into a minimal house-esque chorus that slowly builds up is genius, and the shifts in percussion make sure the song is never stagnant. Shakira sounds more alive here than I think she has in decades, with that final line, roughly translating to “I was out of your league, that’s why you’re with someone like you” just being a perfect closer, before she quits and kisses his sorry ass goodbye. What a song, what a moment and what a way to escape bad PR from evading your taxes... though, just saying, Shakira, I’m not particularly an expert in taxes but if you’re still single when you next find yourself in... Northamptonshire, maybe I could enrol in law school. Just putting it out there.

#30 – “Dave Flow” – Fredo

Produced by Mason X Beats

You know, out of all the things you could distinguish these two rappers by, I wouldn’t pick the flow, since they tend to end up in similar cadences and pockets on their beats, which tend to be quite different, and Fredo has always been gruffer, kind of whispery, and his lyrics less observantly worldly and more introspective alongside a more violent through line that Dave only rarely encroaches on. It’s not like that particularly matters though, given that the Dave flow reference is a throwaway bar in yet another of these one-verse introspections that Fredo is able to crank out at an impressive enough pace, and whilst I would prefer some structure, I think this style is actually fitting for Fredo, who’s always felt awkward placing a hook in a song when all he really wants to do is speak about his experiences, negative or positive, and hope people – even if they don’t relate – appreciate the value of it coming from him. The vintage piano loop sounds elegant, especially with the choral sample and the trap beat goes necessarily hard, so it really just needed a good verse and whilst this is mostly flexing, with not that much wordplay or anything particularly clever, the rhyme schemes are slick as always and Fredo has this weird condescendence to his cadence this time around that is very much not from Dave but makes the content, which is delivered at a breakneck pace in this song, feel particularly comical in a pretty dark way. The beat never becomes stagnant because whilst not intricately produced or all that unique, the details in Fredo’s flow add up to the beat’s progression, and Fredo’s delivery gets increasingly energetic and confident: it’s a pretty great way to make the rags-to-riches story convincing in a subtle vocal shift that may have not even been intentional, but you can definitely tell by the end of the track. Also that “Fred again” line actually made me laugh out loud so the wordplay hits at least a couple points to make this ultimately a pretty great verse. I’ve always liked Fredo fine but he’s been steadily improving as of late and this is yet another example.

#23 – “Red Flags” – Mimi Webb

Produced by Connor McDonaugh, Ryan Daly and Cirkut

They say that businesses need to give equal opportunities to both men and women nowadays, and regardless of gender, everyone should get the same treatment. I agree wholeheartedly with that sentiment, so since the most interesting part of this milquetoast pop song is that the producer’s first name rhymes with his surname, I’m going to treat Mimi Webb as I would Lewis Capaldi and recite a little poem for you. Ahem, why were you creepin’ ‘round late last night? Why did I see two shadows moving in your bedroom light? Now you’re dressed in black; when I left, you were dressed in white. Can you fill me in? Calls diverted to answer phone – red wine bottle: half the contents gone. Midnight return; Jacuzzi turned on! I repeat, can you fill me in? The British public is lucky that Craig David has as many classics as he does, so they can phase out the songs that I have absolutely nothing to say about without me frantically running out of Craig David lyrics by this time next year. Seriously though, stream someone more interesting, like perhaps...

#1 – “Flowers” – Miley Cyrus

Produced by Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson

I knew Miley was big, but #1 debut big? A million streams in a day big? I really did not expect her return to pop music to be as big as this, but alas, it’s yet another breakup song about an ex-husband, this one being Liam Hemsworth and yeah, I don’t think it works as well as Shakira’s. First of all, it’s way less specific, literally using an interpolated melody and someone else’s words to describe a relationship, with the Bruno Mars interpretation (“When I Was Your Man” in the chorus) coming off as a lazy way to tie things up into a neat enough bow. Sure, Hemsworth had dedicated the song to her but the song is vague on purpose, using easy and overdone pop cliché rhymes that I feel become a bit too universal in this context. This becomes clear in my second point: it’s a self-empowerment song about how she’s better at loving herself than anyone else is at loving her. This is my cynicism speaking of course as that is a completely fine concept for a song but if I’m hearing a massive breakup song about a high-profile divorce, I’m going to need either more complexities and nuance to the lyrics or just straight-up hatred and basically making a diss track. My final point is the production, which is just kind of wank, with no real direction, a disappointing impact in the chorus and a minimal funk groove that feels as stiff as the song overall feels slightly unfinished. Outside of the strings, nothing about this song feels all that triumphant, and I’m still really perplexed to why this frankly uninteresting, unfinished song has gathered more attention... but alas, people work in mysterious ways and Miley is a great, raspy vocalist that adds as much charisma as she can to a boring albeit catchy song. Just because it doesn’t resonate with my cynical ass doesn’t mean that it isn’t making an impact elsewhere.

Conclusion

This was a fun one, right? There weren’t that many songs, and a few of them were pretty damn good, with some genuine cultural moments in this batch of new arrivals, as well as some questionable trainwrecks that are kind of just funny. Speaking of, Sam Smith is getting Worst of the Week for “Gimme” featuring Jessie Reyez and Koffee, with a Dishonourable Mention going to Clavish for “No Difference”. As for the best, it should be pretty straightforward, but for the Honourable Mention... Sorry, Fredo, but Sabrina Carpenter just barely inches you out with “Nonsense”, and the Best of the Week absolutely goes to Bizarrap and Shakira for... you know, one of the best songs to chart this decade? If I were still doing year-end lists, I’d have a list-topper staring me right at the face at #31, just saying. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though: it’s still January. Thank you for reading, rock on to the late David Crosby, and I’ll see you next week!

[ot3]

i watched red vs blue: zero with my dear friends today and i was asked to “post” my “thoughts” on the subject. Please do not click this readmore unless, for some reason, you want to read three thousand words on the subject of red vs blue: zero critical analysis. i highly doubt that’s the reason anyone is following me, but hey. 

anyway. here you have it. 

Here are my opinions on RVB0 as someone who has quite literally no nostalgia for any older RVB content. I’ve seen seasons 1-13 once and bits and pieces of it more than once here and there, but I only saw it for the first time within the past couple of months. I’ve literally never seen any other RT/AH content. I can name a few people who worked on OG Red vs. Blue but other than Mounty Oum I have NO idea who is responsible for what, really, or what anything else they’ve ever worked on is, or whether or not they’re awful people. I know even less about the people making RVB0 - All I know is that the main writer is named Torrian but I honestly don’t even know if that’s a first name, a last name, or a moniker. All this to say; nothing about my criticism is rooted in any perceived slight against the franchise or branding by the new staff members, because I don’t know or care about any of it. In fact, I’m going to try and avoid any direct comparison between RVB0 and earlier seasons of RVB as a means of critique until the very end, where I’ll look at that relationship specifically.

So here is my opinion of RVB0 as it stands right now:

1. The Writing

Everything about RVB0 feels as if it was written by a first-time writer who hasn’t learned to kill his darlings. The narrative is both simultaneously far too full, leaving very little breathing room for character interaction, and oddly sparse, with a story that lacks any meaningful takeaway, interesting ideas, or genuine emotional connection. It also feels like it’s for a very much younger audience - I don’t mean this as a negative at all. I love tv for kids. I watch more TV for kids than I do for adults, mostly, but I think it’s important to address this because a lot of the time ‘this is for kids’ is used to act like you’re not allowed to critique a narrative thoroughly. It definitely changes the way you critique it, but the critique can still be in good faith.  I watched the entirety of RVB0 only after it was finished, in one sitting, and I was giving it my full attention, essentially like it was a movie. I’m going to assume it was much better to watch in chunks, because as it stood, there was literally no time built into the narrative to process the events that had just transpired, or try and predict what events might be coming in the future. When there’s no time to think about the narrative as you’re watching it, the narrative ends up as being something that happens to the audience, not something they engage with. It’s like the difference between taking notes during a lecture or just sitting and listening. If you’re making no attempt to actively process what’s happening, it doesn’t stick in your mind well. I found myself struggling to recall the events and explanations that had immediately transpired because as soon as one thing had happened, another thing was already happening, and it was like a mental juggling act to try and figure out which information was important enough to dwell on in the time we were given to dwell on it.

Which brings me to another point - pacing. Every event in the show, whether a character moment, a plot moment, or a fight scene, felt like it was supposed to land with almost the exact same amount of emotional weight. It all felt like The Most Important Thing that had Yet Happened. And I understand that this is done as an attempt to squeeze as much as possible out of a rather short runtime, but it fundamentally fails. When everything is the most important thing happening, it all fades into static. That’s what most of 0’s narrative was to me: static. It’s only been a few hours since I watched it but I had to go step by step and type out all of the story beats I could remember and run it by my friends who are much more enthusiastic RVB fans than I am to make sure I hadn’t missed or forgotten anything. I hadn’t, apparently, but the fact that my takeaway from the show was pretty accurate and also disappointingly lackluster says a lot. Strangely enough, the most interesting thing the show alluded to - a holo echo, or whatever the term they used was - was one of the things least extrapolated upon in the show’s incredibly bulky exposition. Benefit of the doubt says that’s something they’ll explore in future seasons (are they getting more? Is that planned? I just realized I don’t actually know.)

And bulky it was! I have quite honestly never seen such flagrant disregard for the rule of “show, don’t tell.” There was not a single ounce of subtlety or implication involved in the storytelling of RVB0. Something was either told to you explicitly, or almost entirely absent from the narrative. Essentially zilch in between. We are told the dynamic the characters have with each other, and their personality pros and cons are listed for us conveniently by Carolina. The plot develops in exposition dumps. This is partially due to the series’ short runtime, but is also very much a result of how that runtime was then used by the writers. They sacrificed a massive chunk of their show for the sake of cramming in a ton of fight scenes, and if they wanted to keep all of those fight scenes, it would have been necessary to pare down their story and characters proportionally in comparison, but they didn’t do that either. They wanted to have it both ways and there simply wasn’t enough time for it. 

The story itself is… uninteresting. It plays out more like the flimsy premise of a video game quest rather than a piece of media to be meaningfully engaged with. RVB0 is I think something I would be pitched by a guy who thinks the MCU and BNHA are the best storytelling to come out of the past decade. It is nothing but tropes. And I hate having to use this as an insult! I love tropes. The worst thing about RVB0 is that nothing it does is wholly unforgivable in its own right. Hunter x Hunter, a phenomenal shonen, is notoriously filled with pages upon pages of detailed exposition and explanations of things, and I absolutely love it. Leverage, my favorite TV show of all time, is literally nothing but a five man band who has to learn to work as a team while seemingly systematically hitting a checklist of every relevant trope in the book. Pacific Rim is an incredibly straightforward good guys vs giant monsters blockbuster to show off some cool fight scenes such as a big robot cutting an alien in half with a giant sword, and it’s some of the most fun I ever have watching a movie. Something being derivative, clunky, poorly executed in some specific areas, narratively weak, or any single one of these flaws, is perfectly fine assuming it’s done with the intention and care that’s necessary to make the good parts shine more. I’ll forgive literally any crime a piece of media commits as long as it’s interesting and/or enjoyable to consume. RVB0 is not that. I’m not sure what the main point of RVB0 was supposed to be, because it seemingly succeeds at nothing. It has absolutely nothing new or innovative to justify its lack of concern for traditional storytelling conventions. Based solely on the amount of screentime things were given, I’d be inclined to say the narrative existed mostly to give flimsy pretense for the fight scenes, but that’s an entire other can of worms.

2. The Visuals + Fights

I have no qualms with things that are all style and no substance. Sometimes you just want to see pretty colors moving on the screen for a while or watch some cool bad guys and monsters or whatever get punched. RVB0 was not this either. The show fundamentally lacked a coherent aesthetic vision. Much of the show had a rather generic sci-fi feel to it with the biggest standouts to this being the very noir looking cityscape, which my friends and I all immediately joked looked like something from a batman game, or the temple, which my friends and I all immediately joked looked like a world of warcraft raid. They were obviously attempting to get variety in their environment design, which I appreciate, but they did this without having a coherent enough visual language to feel like it was all part of the same world. In general, there was also just a lack of visual clarity or strong shots. The value range in any given scene was poor, the compositions and framing were functional at best, and the character animation was unpleasantly exaggerated. It just doesn’t really look that good beyond fancy rendering techniques.

The fight scenes are their entire own beast. Since ‘FIGHT SCENE’ is the largest single category of scenes in the show, they definitely feel worth looking at with a genuine critical eye. Or, at least, I’d like to, but honestly half the time I found myself almost unable to look at them. The camera is rarely still long enough to really enjoy what you’re watching - tracking the motion of the character AND the camera at such constant breakneck high speeds left little time to appreciate any nuances that might have been present in the choreography or character animation. I tried, believe me, I really did, but the fight scenes leave one with the same sort of dizzy convoluted spectacle as a Michael Bay transformers movie. They also really lacked the impact fight scenes are supposed to have.

It’s hard to have a good, memorable fight scene without it doing one of three things: 1. Showing off innovative or creative fighting styles and choreography 2. Making use of the fight’s setting or environment in an engaging and visually interesting way or 3. Further exploring a character’s personality or actions by the way they fight. It’s also hard to do one of these things on its own without at least touching a bit on the other two. For the most part, I find RVB0’s fight scenes fail to do this. Other than rather surface level insubstantial factors, there was little to visually distinguish any of RVB0’s fight scenes from each other. Not only did I find a lot of them difficult to watch and unappealing, I found them all difficult to watch and unappealing in an almost identical way. They felt incredibly interchangeable and very generic. If you could take a fight scene and change the location it was set and also change which characters were participating and have very little change, it’s probably not a good fight scene. 

I think “generic” is really just the defining word of RVB0 and I think that’s also why it falls short in the humor department  as well.

3. The Comedy

Funny shit is hard to write and humor is also incredibly subjective but I definitely got almost no laughs out of RVB0. I think a total of three. By far the best joke was Carolina having a cast on top of her armor, which, I must stress, is an incredibly funny gag and I love it. But overall I think the humor fell short because it felt like it was tacked on more than a natural and intentional part of this world and these characters. A lot of the jokes felt like they were just thrown in wherever they’d fit, without any build up to punchlines and with little regard for what sort of joke each character would make. Like, there was some, obviously Raymond’s sense of humor had the most character to it, but the character-oriented humor still felt very weak. When focusing on character-driven humor, there’s a LOT you can establish about characters based on what sort of jokes they choose to make, who they’re picking as the punchlines of these jokes, and who their in-universe audience for the jokes is. In RVB0, the jokes all felt very immersion-breaking and self aware, directed wholly towards the audience rather than occurring as a natural result of interplay between the characters. This is partially due to how lackluster the character writing was overall, and the previously stated tight timing, but also definitely due to a lack of a real understanding about what makes a joke land. 

A rule of thumb I personally hold for comedy is that, when push comes to shove, more specific is always going to be more funny. The example I gave when trying to explain this was this:

saying two characters had awkward sex in a movie theater: funny

saying two characters had an awkward handjob in a cinemark: even funnier

saying two characters spent 54 minutes of 11:14's 1:26 runtime trying out some uncomfortably-angled hand stuff in the back of a dilapidated cinemark that lost funding halfway through retrofitting into a dinner theater: the funniest

The more specific a joke is, the more it relies on an in-depth understanding of the characters and world you’re dealing with and the more ‘realistic’ it feels within the context of your media. Especially with this kind of humor. When you’re joking with your friends, you don’t go for stock-humor that could be pulled out of a joke book, you go for the specific. You aim for the weak spots. If a set of jokes could be blindly transplanted into another world, onto another cast of characters, then it’s far too generic to be truly funny or memorable. I don’t think there’s a single joke in RVB0 where the humor of it hinged upon the characters or the setting.

Then there’s the issue of situational comedy and physical comedy. This is really where the humor being ‘tacked on’ shows the most. Once again, part of what makes actually solid comedy land properly is it feeling like a natural result of the world you have established. Real life is absurd and comical situations can be found even in the midst of some pretty grim context, and that’s why black comedy is successful, and why comedy shows are allowed to dip into heavier subject matter from time to time, or why dramas often search for levity in humor. It’s a natural part of being human to find humor in almost any situation. The key thing, though, once again, is finding it in the situation. Many of RVB0’s attempts at humor, once again, feel like they would be the exact same jokes when stripped from their context, and that’s almost never good. A pretty fundamental concept in both storytelling in general but particularly comedy writing is ‘setup and payoff’. No joke in RVB0 is a reward for a seemingly innocuous event in an earlier scene or for an overlooked piece of environmental design. The jokes pop in when there’s time for them in between all the exposition and fighting, and are gone as soon as they’re done. There’s no long term, underlying comedic throughline to give any sense of coherence or intent to the sense of humor the show is trying to establish. Every joke is an isolated one-off quip or one-liner, and it fails to engage the audience in a meaningful way.

All together, each individual component of RVB0 feels like it was conjured up independently, without any concern to how it interacted with the larger product they were creating. And I think this is really where it all falls apart. RVB0 feels criminally generic in a way reminiscent of mass-market media which at least has the luxury of attributing these flaws, this complete and total watering down of anything unique, to heavy oversight and large teams with competing visions. But I don’t think that’s the case for RVB0. I don’t know much about what the pipeline is like for this show, but I feel like the fundamental problem it suffers from is a lack of heart.

In comparison to Red vs. Blue

Let's face it. This is a terrible successor to Red vs. Blue. I wouldn’t care if NONE of the old characters were in it - that’s not my problem. I haven’t seen past season 13 because from what I heard the show already jumped the shark a bit and then some. That’s not what makes it a poor follow up. What makes it a bad successor is that it fundamentally lacks any of the aspects of the OG RVB that made it unique or appealing at all. I find myself wondering what Torrian is trying to say with RVB0 and quite literally the only answer I find myself falling back onto is that he isn’t trying to say anything at all. Regardless of what you feel about the original RVB, it undeniably had things to say. The opening “why are we here” speech does an excellent job at establishing that this is a show intended to poke fun at the misery of bureaucracy and subservience to nonsensical systems, not just in the context of military life, but in a very broad-strokes way almost any middle-class worker can relate to. At the end of the day, fiction is at its best when it resonates with some aspect of its audience’s life. I know instantly which parts of the original Red vs Blue I’m supposed to relate to. I can’t say anything even close to that about 0.

RVB is an absurdist parody that heavily satirizes aspects of the military and life as a low-on-the-food-chain worker in general that almost it’s entire target audience will be familiar with. The most significant draw of the show to me was how the dialogue felt like listening to my friends bicker with each other in our group chats. It required no effort for me to connect with and although the narrative never outright looked to the camera and explained ‘we are critiquing the military’s stupid red tape and self-fullfilling eternal conflict’ they didn’t need to, because the writing trusted itself and its audience enough to believe this could be conveyed. It is, in a way, the complete antithesis to the badass superhero macho military man protagonist that we all know so well. RVB was saying something, and it was saying it in a rather novel format.

Nothing about RVB0 is novel. Nothing about RVB0 says anything. Nothing about it compels me to relate to any of these characters or their situations. RVB0 doesn’t feel like absurdism, or satire. RVB0 feels like it is, completely uncritically, the exact media that RVB itself was riffing off of. Both RVB0 and RVB when you watch them give you the feeling that what you’re seeing here is kids on a playground larping with toy soldiers. It’s all ridiculous and over the top cliche stupid garbage where each side is trying to one-up the other. The critical difference is, in RVB, we’re supposed to look at this and laugh at how ridiculous this is. In RVB0 we’re supposed to unironically think this is all pretty badass. 

The PFL arc of the original RVB existed to show us that setting up an elite team of supersoldiers with special powers was something done in bad faith, with poor outcomes, that left everyone involved either cruel, damaged, or dead. It was a bad thing. And what we’re seeing in RVB0 is the same premise, except, this time it’s good. We’re supposed to root for this format. RVB0 feels much more like a demo reel, cutscenes from a video game that doesn’t exist, or a shonen anime fanboy’s journal scribbling than it feels like a piece of media with any objective value in any area.  In every area that RVB was anti-establishment, RVB0 is pure undiluted establishment through and through.  

#long post #really long post guys. look out ! #rvb

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian season 2 ep 1 AGAIN! it’s the rewatch folks

- The entire last season reminder/intro scene is kind of clunky and we’re-hitting-you-over-the-head-with-this, but I think it’s important to note that it’s probably meant for the vast majority of people who watched this stuff once a wholeass year ago, and not for me, the crazy person who watched each episode at least five times lol

- 

I like the way mando & bb walk from darkness into brief light and back into darkness here... the directors keep finding such cool ways of using the armour cinematically, there must be some lighting considerations to be made when your main character is essentially a walking disco ball. I enjoy the mood of this planet too -- the distant lights, the way the sky isn’t quite dark like there’s a city providing some light pollution nearby (it’s a bit clearer as he walks further into the... town? that it’s not just sunset, the sky is lit up weirdly) 

also when din moves towards the camera and out of sight in this first appearance, the signet is the very last thing that leaves the frame! I just thought that was sweet, a clan of two :’)

- shotout to these two lads and their boldly absolutely inexplicable hat choices (I love gratuitous star wars crowd scenes you guys)

those tacky gold sequins on her sleeves... immaculate, beautiful, someone sat through like full body makeup application to be on screen a literal split second, that good good sw nonsense

- oh I didn’t notice before but I think those gladiator dudes are using vibroaxes! I guess they have the technology to portray it in live action now after the vibroblades in the first season

- the way bb glances up at din like ‘hey dad. dad what the fuck???’ as one gomorrean nearly chops the arm off the other fjaslfds

- when you look for it it’s comically obvious that those guys are working for the dude mando’s meeting, they’ve all got more or less the same dark uniform and don’t look much at the fight haha. they might as well have ‘hired thugs’ stamped upon their foreheads

- I like how pared down and spare the music is in this fight scene, it’s just the faint whine of the electric guitars under the thuds of meat hitting metal 

also still love how din fights, the fact that he doesn’t even try to not get hit a lot of the time, he’s just tanking through it waiting for someone to fling themselves at him in a way he can exploit to take them out

the bouncer seems to be holding something like sci-fi handcuffs when he grabs din and lifts him off his feet, so he probably meant to restrain him quickly. bonus: I didn’t notice it the first time around, but din really went straaaaaiiight for this dude’s gentleman area once he dropped him back on his feet lol (you can even see him taking a split second to orient himself and take aim first fhsdkfhas). good job space cowboy dad, sometimes fighting smart means fighting dirty

- leaving this awful dude hanging upside down to get eaten after employing some very deliberate phrasing so he’s not even breaking his word is the ruthless HEIGHT of mando’s hilarious petty streak and it makes me cackle, gives me life, waters my crops    

- oh, the palpable loneliness and longing in din’s voice when he says ‘if I can track down another of my kind’ ;_______; I’m sorry buddy

- may we speak for a moment about the fact that din carries his son around in what seems very much to be a saddle bag sdafjkhsa

- the way din checks in with peli (to see if she’s fucking with him? he’s very confused anyway haha) over the map before saying “I don’t see anything” is so precious. he already seems much more socially tuned in and responsive compared to the beginning of season 1, you love to see it, coming out of that freeze response baBEY

- I can’t get over how much the baby loves speed, this is coming back to bite you so hard if you’re ever going to have to teach this kid how to drive one day mando

- awwww the little patented mando finger curl as he enters the bar <3<3<3 that’s sort of his tell for being preoccupied/anxious; I think finding other mandos, someone to trust and to get help from, means A Lot to him  

once he sees the marshall in the armour his shoulders drop down and he stands up straighter :’) hope is a powerful thing (I guess all of this might add even more to how angry he is too)

the DEAD STOP when cobb takes the helmet off sdkfhkajsldhfsdk

- yodito putting his lil mouth on the lip of this jar thing is such a well observed little quirk of baby behaviour, I’m crying

(there is liquid of some sort in this thing; I’ve seen some people theorize it’s a spittoon but for my own peace of mind I’m going to forcefully declare that it is not thank you)

- so much stuff packed into that “He’s seen worse”!! dismissal, self-deprecation, sorrow, resignation, warning. 

- the contrast in this standoff of vanth’s eastwood eye twitch and the complete deadpan impassiveness of din’s helmet and general demeanor... wonderful  

- upon rewatching I’m actually wondering if some of these scenes with the baby on his own were filmed independently of the actors and that it might add to that slight distracting feeling of disconnect/distance you get through the episode. (it’s sort of odd to me that mando doesn’t even glance down at him as the whole place starts to shake, for example) there must be a lot of stuff that comes down to technical considerations with the baby; I suspect it takes a lot of time and resources to have him walking around too much, which is why The Waddle is kind of a rare treat   

what I’m saying is that they may be saving up dad & baby interaction resources for episodes where it’s more relevant or important

- so is this a one bantha town or is it just for convenient film language reasons it was all alone in frame like that lol

also cobb’s ‘mondays amirite’ look fdsakjfhsjk 

- since I think it every time I get to this part: this is a very neat hairstyle this person is rocking, suits them! 

- ah the stern pointer finger of emphasis. din TALKS, no, COMMUNICATES so much in this episode you guys!!!!! 

- rip this tusken, the bravest person who ever lived

- the delivery of “...they might be open to some fresh ideas” is the funniest moment of this entire episode don’t @ me

- oh the kotor-ness of it all lol

- jill (the girl who hands cobb the detonator) is so cute with her hat and everything ;____; 

- I suppose these tuskens are really the bravest people to ever live considering they saw what happened to the last guy (or gal I suppose I don’t know how sand people gender works)

- baby needs some goggles to protect his giant eyes from wind and sand Y___Y

- they’ve nailed how to make the jetpacks work in live action, it looks really cool and I suspect it easily could have uh. not 

- this poor sacrificial bantha... it even tried to get away

- ooooh the heart eyes -- cobb 100% has a crush on this man jfsdflhsad. (with it being sort of unrequited/’oh man I’m behind about 150 layers of dissociation too many to even really consider that one way or the other bud’ from mando’s side #personal headcanon disclaimer)    

- my take on why din doesn’t get dissolved in acid in there is that that stuff is released from a specific gland or something that the dragon can unleash at will and that the spit itself doesn’t have that quality on its own (or at least it’s a lot less potent) 

- seems pretty well confirmed by now that yodito is a carnivore huh hahaha

- I find it obscurely satisfying that cobb seems to be wearing exactly his old outfit under the armour -- he did just strap it on on top of what he already was. (there’s something there -- he’s a whole thing still without the armour, and at this time at least din would not be I don’t think) just some good narrative foil stuff going on here under the surface

also once again props to the costume design; without the armour he looks so vulnerable again, they have dressed him to emphasise his height and slenderness (especially compared to mando, who actually seems to have bulked up a bit? fatherhood suits him I guess)    

plus, the way the baby looks questioningly up at din while he watches cobb walk away? yeah, din is lonely, let this poor man have a friend who stays around soon T______________T

- heeey boba, nice threads! my guess is that he’s not going to be there for the armour if he does track din down, since he hasn’t seemed to be in any haste to get it back before (which is interesting!). he might also have been unable to go looking for it before because he was still recovering from being half digested, of course, they could play it a lot of different ways

I wonder if we’ll get more of him in the next ep or if they’ll let the tension ramp up through the season 

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian meta #the mandalorian spoilers #just to be safe hey

[grigori77]

2019 In TV - My Top 10 Shows

This past year may have sucked balls in a lot of ways, but we certainly never got short-changed when it came to our TV.  There was an absolute WEALTH of truly cracking TV around, both on regular networks and on the various on-demand platforms, and so here is my pick of the best, my absolute favourites of 2019.

10.  WATCHMEN

Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof brings us a blinding sequel to comic book legend Alan Moore’s legendary graphic novel with a delightfully trippy, ruthlessly efficient rug-puller that seems pretty tailor-made for HBO.  Old faces return in interesting ways, while there are some cracking new “masks” on offer, particularly Regina King’s Sister Night and the always-brilliant Tim Blake Nelson as morally complex antihero Looking Glass (in some ways very much the show’s own answer to Rorschach).  It never goes where you expect it to go, and refuses to give easy answers to the questions it raises, effortlessly paving the way for more next year ...

9.  THE BOYS

Amazon offers up its own edgy, thoroughly adult superhero property with this darkly funny antiheroic gem based on the cult Garth Ennis comic, expertly adapted by Supernatural creator Eric Kripke.  Karl Urban dominates as Billy Butcher, the foul-mouthed, morally bankrupt “leader” of a makeshift crew of mercenaries, hitmen and psycho killers devoted to “taking care of” superheroes when they inevitably go bad.  Season 1 ultimately serves as an origin story, showing how the team come together, laying quality groundwork for the incoming sophomore tour that promises to open the already fascinating world out significantly.

8.  PREACHER (SEASON 4)

More Garth Ennis, namely this blinder of a closing season for AMC’s consistently impressive adaptation of his best known series for Vertigo comics.  Surprisingly epic, deliciously subversive and constantly, darkly hilarious, this thoroughly non-PC series from showrunners Sam Catlin, Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (yes! I Know!) certainly went out on a high note, providing its loyal followers with perfectly-pitched bow-outs and sometimes heartbreaking goodbyes for all its players, especially its dynamite leads, Dominic Cooper, Ruth Negga and, in particular, Joe Gilgun as unapologetic bad boy vampire Cassidy.  A worthy end to one of my all-time favourite TV shows.

7.  THE WITCHER

While it’s clearly taken its look from the wildly successful video games, Netflix’s second most ambitious long-form offering of the year takes its lead from the fantasy book series by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski that started it all.  With its somewhat episodic set-up and decidedly twisted narrative timelines, it take a few chapters to get the hang of it, but there’s plenty to draw you in, from the exotic world-building to the frenetic action and compelling collection of richly crafted characters.  Henry Cavill is the titular hero, lovably grouchy mutant monster-hunter Geralt of Rivia, but the real scene-stealer is co-star Anya Chalotra as roguishly self-serving mage Yennefer of Vengenberg.

6.  CARNIVAL ROW

One of the year’s two big sleeper hit TV surprises for me was this inventively offbeat allegorical Amazon fantasy series from The 4400 creator René Echevarria and screenwriter Travis Beacham. Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevigne are the star-crossed lovers at the heart of this intriguingly dark and dirty murder mystery thriller set in Victorian London-esque city-state the Burgue, in which humans struggle to co-exist alongside a struggling disenfranchised underclass of fae (fairies, fawns, centaurs and the like).  The racial turmoil undertones are writ large throughout, but this is far more well-written and lavishly appointed than you might expect on first glance, and almost ridiculously addictive viewing.

5.  LOVE, DEATH + ROBOTS

My other big TV surprise was this wonderfully bizarre sci-fi anthology series of animated shorts from Netflix, mostly adapted from an eclectic selection of short stories from a wide range of top-notch literary talent including Peter F. Hamilton, John Scalzi, Marko Kloos and Alastair Reynolds (a particular favourite of mine).  As you’d expect from the brainchild of Deadpool director Tim Miller and producer David Fincher, this is edgy, leftfield stuff, frequently ultra-violent and decidedly adult, and the wildly varied nature of the material on offer makes for a decidedly uneven tone, but there are some absolute gems on offer here, my favourite being Suits, an enjoyably simple tale of salt-of-the-earth farmers on an alien world utilising clunky mech suits to protect their settlement from rampaging giant xeno-bugs.

4.  THE DARK CRYSTAL: AGE OF RESISTANCE

The show with the biggest cinematic wow factor in 2019 had to be this long-awaited prequel series to Jim Henson’s classic fantasy movie masterpiece, created for Netflix by, of all people, Louis Leterrier (yes, the director of The Transporter, Now You See Me and Clash of the Titans, if you can believe it). The technology may have evolved in leaps and bounds, but there’s a wonderfully old school vibe in the delightfully physical puppet effects used to bring the fantastical world of Thra and its denizens to life, so that it truly does feel like it’s based in the same world as the film.  This was EASILY the most visually arresting show of 2019, packed with exquisite character, creature and set design that perfectly complements the awesome work done by Henson and Brian Froud on the original, while the writers have created a darkly rich narrative tapestry that makes Thra seem a more dangerous place than ever.

3.  THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

I was a HUGE fan of My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way’s magnificently oddball alternative superhero comic, so when I learned that Netflix were adapting it I was a little wary because I knew how spectacularly hard it would be for ANY showrunners to get right.  Thankfully Steve Blackman (Fargo season 2) and Jeremy Slater (The Exorcist TV series) were the right choice, because this perfectly captured the outsider nature of the characters and their endearingly dysfunctional family dynamic. Ellen Page, Tom Hopper (Black Sails, Merlin), David Castañeda and Emmy Raver-Lampman are all excellent as the more “functional” Hargreeves siblings, but the show is roundly stolen by Misfits star Robert Sheehan and Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn’s Aidan Gallagher as nihilistic clairvoyant Klaus and the old-man-in-a-child’s-body sociopath known only as Number Five. Consistently surprising and brilliantly bonkers, this was definitely the year’s most wonderfully WEIRD show.

2.  STRANGER THINGS (SEASON 3)

Writer-director duo the Duffer Brothers’ ultra-nostalgic 80s-set coming-of-age sci-fi horror series remains the undisputed jewel in Netflix’s long-form crown with this consistently top-drawer third season expertly maintaining the blockbuster-level standards we’ve come to expect.  This year the cross-dimensional shenanigans have largely been jettisoned, replaced by a gleefully nasty through-line of icky body horror that would make major influences like David Cronenberg and Stuart Gordon proud, as perennial teenage bad boy Billy Hargrove (the fantastically menacing Dacre Montgomery) becomes the leader of an army of psychic slaves under the control of the Upside Down’s monstrous Mind Flayer.  The kids are all brilliant as always, Winona Ryder and David Harbour really get to build on their strong-yet-spiky chemistry, and the show is almost effortlessly stolen by Joe Keery as one-time golden boy Steve Harrington and series-newcomer Maya Hawke as his nerdy new foil Robin Buckley, who were very nearly the cutest couple on TV in 2019.  Another gold standard season for a true gold standard show.

1.  GOOD OMENS

Sadly, legendary author Terry Pratchett died before he could see the adaptation of one of his most beloved novels (and one of my all-time literary favourites too) see the light of day, but at least his co-author Neil Gaiman was around to bring it to fruition with the aid of seasoned TV director David Mckinnon (Jekyll, Doctor Who, Sherlock), and the end result sure did him proud, perfectly capturing the deeply satirical voice and winningly anarchic, gleefully offbeat and gently subversive humour of the original novel.  David Tennant and Michael Sheen could both have been born to play Crowley and Aziraphale, the angel and demon nominally charged with watching over the young Antichrist in preparation for his role in the End Times, even though they would both much rather the world just went on quite happily the way it is, thanks very much. This is about as perfect an adaptation as you can get, the six hour-long episodes giving the surprisingly complex story time to breathe and grow organically, and the result is the most fun I spent in front of my TV this year.

#best TV 2019 #watchmen #the boys #preacher #the witcher #carnival row #love death + robots #love death & robots #the dark crystal age of resistance #The Umbrella Academy #stranger things 3 #good omens

[septicfag]

GETTING INTO PUNK MASTERPOST 

Want to get into the punk subculture, but a bit intimidated by it?? Here's a little list of tips and tricks for getting into the scene!!!  [especially if you don't know any punks in real life, or aren't particularly close friends with any punks online either]

THINK FOR YOURSELF!!!! this is so important, you cannot be punk and NOT think for yourself, before accepting anything you have to think it through for yourself!!!!

DON’T BE RACIST, XENOPHOBIC, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC, TRANSPHOBIC, FASCIST. ETC. you cannot be part of a group of radical free thinkers as a bigot. If you are a bigot you are not and will not be welcome in the punk community

INFORM YOURSELF ON CURRENT ISSUES. Work to figure out what you think about current issues because (as stated before) its punk as hell to have your own opinions

LISTEN TO PUNK MUSIC. You don't have to listen to anything you don't vibe with, but trying out different genres of punk and listening to some of the big names will help you understand and share something in common with more “seasoned” punks.

TALK TO OTHER PUNKS. most of us are really nice, especially if we know you're trying to get into the scene! You can always interact/talk to us! most of us know how it can be a little scary to break into the scene and are willing to talk about our experiences!

TAKE YOUR SELF EXPRESSION INTO YOUR OWN HANDS. to whatever extent you can make/modify clothes for yourself. add patches and pins or paint on clothes [use fabric paint or acrylic mixed with fabric base for a cheaper alternative] ITS 100% OKAY TO WEAR YOUR MODIFIED CLOTHES EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT "DONE" YET! FUCK FAST FASHION!!

LOOK AT PUNK FASHION. there have been around 50 years of punk fashion, so find some you dig and base some of your modified clothes off of it (I'm really into 80s punk looks so I normally look like I crawled out of CBGB [famous punk bar in NY] during its peak years). Staples of a punk look are clunky boots or skate shoes (converse or knockoffs), band shirts, and battle jackets! Punk “fashion” is based on DIY and practicality. (it should be noted punk clothing also has an emphasis on being safe for moshing/protests, so normally no HUGE spikes and impractical shoes and super loose clothes)

GO TO SHOWS! ESPECIALLY LOCAL SHOWS!! going to shows in your local area is a good way to get into the scene. if you're underage or live in assfuck nowhere it's completely fine to not travel hours or get kicked out of a venue halfway through the show, so feel free to wait until you have a good chance to go to one. If you're in an area with a local scene, going out to local shows is a great way to meet and support other punks! [suggestion by @juggernaut-is-a-metalhead]

Some other notes

YOU CAN BE ANY RACE OR GENDER OR SEXUALITY AND BE PUNK, PUNK IS NOT JUST FOR WHITE CISHET MEN! PUNK HAS ALWAYS AND WILL ALWAYS BE AN INCLUSIVE SPACE FOR EVERYONE WHO’S SICK AND TIRED OF BEING KICKED AROUND BY ANY/EVERYONE!!!

YOU CAN BE PUNK AND MENTALLY ILL, YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT CONTROL YOU AND WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT YOU BELIEVE EVEN IF SOMETIMES IT FEELS THAT WAY! It’s also completely fine and valid to not want to go to shows/protests or be confrontational if you have a mental illness or honestly just don’t feel comfortable or safe doing so. 

YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS TO BE PUNK! If you’re underage or just don’t want to or don’t have the money, it’s okay to not have body mods and it doesn’t make you any less punk. 

we really don’t like bootlickers (basically people kowtowing to authority and authority figures)

we're anti-authority 

a lot of us are atheists or at least have a distaste for formalized institutionalized religion

we kind of mind our own fucking business as long as the business isn't hurting us or others

there're a lot of anarchists in punk but you don't have to be one, there are also a lot of social democrats

we DO NOT hurt or harass people who don't deserve it (ie. kids, people who have nothing to do with whatever we're fighting against)

there're not really hard and fast rules that’s a big thing with punk, only you have power over yourself (”no authority but yourself” is a popular quote coined by anarcho-punk band, Crass)

Quick and basic punk genre breakdown

proto-punk- the punk before punk, this genre is comprised of 60s and 70s bands with a less refined sound than mainstream bands at the time, however, they normally didn’t have much in common. Bands like The Velvet Underground fall into this genre.

70's - punk begins to emerge as a genre people argue about who was actually the first punk band a popular choice is Ramones

80's- LOTS of punk potential here, 69.69% of "classic punk" bands are 80's punk

90's- ska started to emerge and punk was seen as skater music a lot of "classic punk" was also 90's 

ska punk- based more on reggae, seen as skater music, normally has fun trumpets!

riot grrrl- feminist punk (just being an all female punk band doesn't make you a riot grrrl band, there’s a sound to it as well)

folk punk- punk but with different instruments and less 3 chord riffs

post-punk- punk but more modern, normally is a bit softer than "classic punk"

hardcore punk- punk with screaming, kind of sounds like black metal, but with anarchy

pop punk- punk but it sounds more pop-y (hotly debated what is and isn't, its kind of a dumpster fire)

garage punk- punk but EVEN less polished [this is my favorite genre]

THERE ARE MORE GENRES THAN THIS, THIS IS JUST A VERY FAST OVER-VIEW. Punk has about 1000000 different sub-genres so only the most popular and well known are included here! 

(note about early punk: 70s and 80s punk sometimes included slurs in music or wearing hate symbols such as swastikas, this was because at the time a lot of punk forerunners subscribed to the idea that wearing/saying things employed by bigots would take power away from them, this idea was largely abandoned by the punk community as they made their way into the 90s. Now in the 20s punks wear lots of anti-hate symbols either coined by the punk community or lifted from other sources) 

(2nd note, concerning inflammatory or ironic statements: a big part of punk culture and lyrics is using purposely inflammatory or heavily ironic statements, one way to figure out if the sentiment in a song is actually meant to be harmful or angry and not ironic is to look up the lyrics/band. As a rule of thumb if they’re an actual punk band that’s listened to by actual punks, it’s irony 99.8% of the time)     

Some bands (almost) every punk has at least heard of:

Bad Brains, Bad Religion, Black Flag, Blink 182, Choking Victim, The Clash, Dead Kennedys, Descendents, Green Day, Leftover Crack, Minor Threat, Misfits, NOFX, The Offspring, Operation Ivy, Pennywise, Ramones, Rancid, Sex Pistols, Social Distortion

[lifted off r/punk on reddit]

Some ending tips:

don’t feel embarrassed to look up lyrics or the sub-genre of a punk song/band, it's a way of learning! also don’t feel embarrassed to look into punk history, it shows you’re genuinely interested in the message and culture!

listen to punk compilation albums! they have some amount of fame in the scene in and of themselves (such as GIVE 'EM THE BOOT [VOLUMES 1-5], PUNK ROCK HALLOWEEN [VOLUMES 1-2], and BARRICADES AND BROKEN DREAMS)

check out entire record labels! you can find a lot of cool bands that don't get a lot of attention. here's a good masterlist of punk record labels, but if that's too daunting, Fat Wreck Cords, Epitaph Records, and Discord Records are very well known. [suggestion by @juggernaut-is-a-metalhead]

It’s completely fine to not have a lot of money to spend on records or supplies for DIY clothes. Punk has an emphasis that your clothes and shit don’t have to be “pretty” they have to be functional. 

for DIY patches/pins you can put ANYTHING you want on them, song lyrics, rallying cries, dates, sayings, literally anything you want, every punk has some weird shit on their patches. 

don't feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do, there is/was a group of punks who are "straight edge" meaning they didn’t drink or do drugs or stuff like that (more common in the 90s/00s)

seriously don’t be afraid to interact with other punks!! we're a bit rough but generally harmless if you don’t suck!!

it’s 100% normal to also have nonpunk interests, don’t feel like you have to give up anything you love to be punk.

You don’t have to listen to any of this to be punk, being punk is doing what you want to do because you want to!! This is just a compiled list of tips for anyone not sure where to start!

PUNKS NOT DEAD

[feel free to correct me if I’ve gotten something wrong! my DMs and asks are always open if you want to hear more of my punk hot takes or want to talk to someone about punk or punk adjacent shit!]

#punk #young punk #punx #young punx #wholesome punk #getting into punk #punk tips

[lordeasriel]

I really care about your opinion, how do you feel about the bbc show and the way it's going?

I feel like before I give my take, I need to say that I understand the show is its own thing, and while I do wish they did a better job adapting certain things, I understand that sometimes there is a need for radical change or cut, especially when your budget is not super high (which HDM does have a lot of money into it, still is not a super big budget production, so they have to worry about these things). And I do enjoy many things about the show, but my overall vibe is mixed, to be honest. I’m stating this now because people often question whether I like the show or not, becaus I do criticise it a lot, and I simply have a critic view of the things I like, which is why I discuss them a lot and it can be overwhelming.

My main issues with the show are these 3 things: (which I’ll put under the cut because this got a bit longer than I wanted to lmao sorry)

Lack of worldbuilding and loose lore: I’ve been talking about this since day one, and this mostly applies to season 1 because I can’t judge season 2 yet because it’s not fully aired yet, but the show suffers from lack of worldbuilding, especially in Lyra’s world, which is the world that sets everything in motion. I still dislike the fact they introduced Will mid-NL, I don’t think he needed all those episodes to establish something that easily could’ve been done in S2 and because they gave TSK a lot of time, other parts of Lyra’s world suffered considerably, mainly the witches and the Magisterium.

The show doesn’t really expand on those two groups, especially, and I think that’s not good, especially the Magisterium (which they have over simplified by making it one big baddie, or so it seems at least, not to mention that implying a single leader for them practically ruins Marcel Delamare’s arc in TBOD and I’m very mad about that lmao). A lot of the Magisterium plot has that infighting aspect, which creates tension on their side as well as against their enemies, but the show doesn’t really explore that or the nuances of the Church, and they also don’t explore how varied the witches are, and I feel like this is a serious mistake. (The portrayal of the witches is by far my least favourite thing in the show, if I’m being honest).

Dull parallel world (and lack of daemons): this ties a bit with the worldbuilding aspect, but this is mainly about design choices. I think the show doesn’t make Lyra’s world as unique as it should be. On its own the world looks pretty and the outfits of most of the cast are great, but when you realise that Will’s world is intertwined with that, you don’t really feel like these two worlds are vastly different.

There is an odd situation in which Marisa’s fashion feels 30s/40s, but most of the men from her social circle (not fair to compare with the gyptians) just wear plain suits and they look much more modern. And while I get that they went for a timeless vibes, with different eras and styles, Lyra’s world feels like a caricature and it doesn’t feel believable. The colour palette is mostly the same for both worlds (even in s2, it’s hard to tell much of the difference because either the scenes are indoors or at night.) This, paired with the lack of daemons (which has been discussed many times in the fandom) kinda bums me out.

Marisa’s oversimplification: I’m mentioning Marisa, specifically, because she is the one that suffers the most due to this writing issues, but other characters like Lord Asriel, MacPhail, the general collective of the Witches, they all suffer from the writing trying to take away the nuances of them and make them flatter than in the book. Marisa is the worst because without her complexity and her flaws, she simply gets dull and boring and flavourless, and it’s kinda what has been happening in the show in my opinion. All she does is weep and she has no strength that doesn’t rely on a random fit of rage that dies out and she gets upset. There’s some great moments, like when she mimics the Monkey, but most of the time she’s just a shadow of who she is supposed to be.

The show tries really hard to make her a Scorned Mother - right from the get go, they try to makes us see how she wants Lyra, how she struggles with her “bad nature” and how that affects their relationship. There is this lingering implication that Lyra was taken from her against her wishes; they make it seem like being a mother to Lyra is her driving force, the only reason why she seeks power and influence. And that is the opposite of Book! Marisa, who is a force of nature, ruthless and ambitious, with not an ounce of maternal instinct.

She does eventually decide to help Lyra, instead of harming her, but even that action comes from a narcisistic place: Lyra is to her a possession, something that belongs to her, and that she wants to preserve. The show just handles her badly, falling into overused, boring tropes that struck far from the book version.

These are usually my main complaints about the show, and they upset me every episode to the point I’m practically ignoring them now lmao The show does a lot of good things too, making Will less of a prick, restoring Lyra’s personality from the first book into S2 Lyra (so far, please keep it that way), Mary is looking great too. They have mostly a great cast, and they did improve the daemons this season (except uh, there are far less daemons to show because of the other worlds - and the Ruta Skadi daemon change pisses me off tbh).

They do have a lot of interest in the show, but the writing (the main issue to me) feels clunky and childish, with the show toning down most of the themes that make His Dark Materials so special, especially to me (which frankly I expected them to do, but it still stings a bit). They make the Magisterium a single bad entity that feels more Authoritarian-Fascist, than a theocracy (even if they sneak in the religious symbols and rituals and garments, it’s just not a good portrayal, it’s very tame and shy); and they try to justify Marisa’s actions (especially in current interviews, there’s lots of talk about how her background will play in the show to “explain why she is the way she is”). The fact the Magisterium is portrayed as pure evil makes it looks less familiar than it should be, and therefore they don’t look scary, they seem like a caricature, a joke.

A lot of the essence of the characters get lost, and the core message of the story too, like when Iorek and the Gyptians tell Lyra she can be one of them, to support her lack of “proper family”, when that is the opposite of the books message. It doesn’t make sense for them to change that, other than maybe Jack Thorne wanted to because it makes the story feels less hopeless, but it’s why he fails to adapt these character - he doesn’t capture the essence, he tries to write these character with gaps in them.

However, the thing that annoys me the most is how they portray Asriel. It’s just... it’s bad. Really bad, which is a shame cause James is talented as fuck, but he had little time to film for season 1, and then they portrayed him very poorly. That scene when he addresses Roger in episode 7 is ridiculous, Asriel would never behave that way; there was relief in him finding Roger was there too, yes, but not to that extent and not in such a cringe way. Asriel is not deranged or irrational, he is a man on a mission, and Roger was a tool (there is no pleasure in Asriel taking his life and no excuses - it needed to be done and he did it); they just needed him to sound creepy in the show for whatever reason.

I hated how they handled the bridge scene for Asriel, Lyra and Marisa, but that’s long and complicated for me to explain here. In S2, there has been some mentions of him so far, including the implication he might have ruined Cittàgazze himself and I frankly don’t understand where did they get that idea. But the cherry on the top was Thorold telling Marisa that Asriel was gonna kill Lyra and that’s just-- that’s so dumb. That’s genuinely dumb writing, because Thorold knows Lyra followed Asriel to the mountain, and while I do believe Asriel would have killed Lyra if Roger wasn’t there, there is no way Thorold should know or consider that Asriel was gonna hurt Lyra, because Roger was there. In fact, Thorold’s interactions with Asriel in episode 8 already disprove this, so either Thorold was lying in S2 for the sake of, I don’t know, chaos or whatever, or the person who wrote this was a five-star, solid gold, fucking moron.

I’m not gonna mention the lost episode because that was no one’s fault, but the fact that they discarded an episode that all information we have on imply that it was important to set up the backstory of the angels and the city, it’s... concerning. It means they wrote something parallel that should’ve been woven into the season.

The truth is, I still watch the show on Sundays, and I still like some stuff they do (especially Mary’s stuff, so far), and despite me slandering the show per your request anon lol (cause unfortunately my honest opinion is mixed, I just don’t try to overfocus on the negative on Tumblr, I mostly talk about it on discord or private), I do think anyone who has read the books should watch the show.

For me, personally, everything I love about HDM is barely on the show - complex characters, the philosophy, the oppression by religion, the interesting world - and the vibe I get is that they’re adapting a coming-of-age love story, which is the last and - being fully honest - the least important message these books give us, but unfortunately they were set to making a family show from the start, and my expectations were high and unmatched, and a family is what we’re getting: toned down, cute, pretty visuals and soulless (heh, pun intended), philosophically speaking. I expect a certain pattern going into S3, but I always like to hold out hope that they will hire better writers (apparently Jack Thorne already wrote 4 scripts, so there you go lmao), and try to give HDM the adaptation it deserves. The truth is, if you’re a picky, canon reliant person like I am, the show might be a struggle, but if you just like the story for the teen romance, or if you don’t care about overthinking a show/book, then most people can have a good time with it.

#asks #effie watches hdm #sorry it took me a while and sorry for the gigantic critique #but i wanted to be honest about my take on the show so far #Anonymous

[four-loose-screws]

What would you rank all the fire emblem games that you have played.

Thank you for waiting, anon! This essay is finally finished! XD I don’t know if either of us ever intended for this to end up so long, but it did.

It’s interesting to see how each person experiences each game, so I hope everyone enjoys reading this. If anyone wants to ask questions for more details or just for conversation, please do!

I did a tier grouping ranking as well as ordering from bottom -> top, because that helped explain my feelings a little better. This isn’t really reflecting my nostalgia or personal feelings for the characters/world quite as much as “how much fun I had in my initial playthrough(s).” Because I think that’s what these sorts of lists are generally asking for.

First, I’d like to make a general statement about why I love FE games so much: Well, most simply it’s because I have more fun playing FE than any other series. That much is obvious though, right? I also love them because they all stand out in their own way, with their own unique combination of features, and because they are all super ambitious titles. It may lead to some rushing and half-baked ideas, but ambition is what excites me the most in any series. Even if the creators are not able to fully realize the ideas they had, the hard work still wows me as I play, and I can see hints of the full vision they had in every nook and cranny. Even the lowest games on this list are pretty high up there for me in fun level. The “fun but flawed” games just had glaring issues that interrupted the fun from time to time.

...FEs 1 & 3 are overall exceptions to the “unique and standing out rule,” being early games in the series; and FE6 set up post-Famicom FE, so it’s pretty basic, too - but they still get their own awards for setting a solid foundation for a fun video game series that withstands the test of time.

I can’t fully explain it, why I attached to FE the most over all other game series out there. But when I play FE, I usually don’t think about what’s not so great about the games. I just have fun. The gameplay always has me thinking, and I get engrossed in the stories and unlocking convos and supports.

Basic Tier

These games are really hard to judge properly in the ranking system, because they are just so basic for the series.

FE1 / FE11

When FE11 came out, I remember it getting so much flack for being really, really boring. But I didn’t get that. I like FE gameplay and storytelling at its core, so I don’t need the bells and whistles to have a good time. I knew this is where the series started, and was surprised with what content there was considering this is a remake of a game on the Famicom (NES).

FE1 set a very solid foundation for what the core of the series would be. Load it up next to a modern game, and it feels so the same and different all at once. I’ve only played a little bit of FE1 itself. I just can’t get through it because FE11 is SO similar to FE1, so you really only have to play one to get the whole experience. I didn’t feel like playing the same game over again at the time, so FE1 is still on my unfinished list.

Basic, solid foundation for the ages / 10

FE3 / FE12

After FE11 played it “safe” and took an “upgraded graphics with a few new ideas tacked on” approach, I was blown away by how much FE12 did, even if it was more for worse than better sometimes. It added so many conversations, was the first to tinker with the idea of a more fleshed out Avatar, added more story… and so on.

From what I’ve read recently, the new story stuff isn’t that great, but I don’t remember now. I’ve only played this game once. Overall, despite some clunk with the giant maps and so on, this game really challenged itself to improve from FE11, and it’s how I learned to love remakes that aren’t afraid to deviate from and add a lot to the original!

Set the stage for what kind of fun and ambition an FE remake could have / 10

FE3 is way more of a classic than any of us in the West can truly understand. It sold insanely well (the best in the series until Awakening I believe?), challenged the programmers to put FE1 on the cart as well, long before re-releases were a thing in the industry, and the game even made it to the Super Famicom Mini! I haven’t played it yet because again, it’s hard to get the motivation to play through the slow speed and clunkiness when I’ve already experienced the remake, but I’m looking forward to it some day.

The good ol’ days of the Super Famicom & SNES / 10

FE6

This was the first game without Kaga (the series original creator), so it set the stage for a future without him. The series might have strayed far from his plans for story and such, but this game, while it was pretty basic, firmly established a new foundation for the series on a new system, and gave a glimpse of what greatness the future had in store.

Overall though, this game is harder to commit to memory than others, except for classic characteristics like how terrible Roy is until, finally, BAM he gets his sword in the final stretches of the game; and running in circles from Douglas so you can avoid fighting him and successfully recruit him after the chapter.

Awkward, but sets a solid foundation for post-Kaga and post-Famicom FE / 10

Fun But Flaws Distracted From The Fun A Lot Tier

FE16

I really, really hate to say it, because this game tries to mix up the FE formula with the school setting and other new features and changes, and brought in a good mix of old and new, just like all the other FE games. But this game left very little impact on me for such a big experience. And I’m leaving out the fact that trying to play all four routes is dull as heck when I place the game this low. I’m basing it off of just how much I enjoyed the first playthrough.

Overall, I was most turned off by the class system. Which is funny, because I’ve seen others praise this as FE’s best class system. Everyone’s different. Classic classes like troubadours are just gone. The top tier classes are super limiting. Of course, you can just stop one tier down, but that’s not emotionally satisfying to me - I want my characters to reach the top! Despite having such free choice, I feel more limited than anything. If they’d just stopped at 4 tiers and not tried to go to 5, I think that would have been best. They had to stretch out the available classes too much to get to 5. ...Although being able to have an army of dragon riders is awesome, I’ll give it that. Dragons are too cool. 

I was also really disappointed by the story. Fire Emblem has established that it can write a really emotional plot, and not be afraid to pull punches, with games like 4 and 8. I was expecting a huge contrast between part 1, where everyone is friends and classmates, and part 2, where war rips them apart, transforms them into different people, and forces them to brutally slaughter each other.

But in reality…the hate between Dimitri and Edelgard has nothing to do with the school at all… That was jarring to me. Of course there is no one right direction to take a story in. But the worldbuilding and story writing… feels even less coherent than Fates. That’s an accomplishment.

This is the one time I say ambition was really just too much. The game didn’t get enough polish. A game about the seasons doesn’t even have seasonal differences...

While my friends who don’t usually play Fire Emblem have had a fantastic experience with this one, after all I’ve been through, I found that I liked other FE’s more.

I think the best part about this game is the characters and supports. After Fates had a ton of supports in it just because it had to have them, the creators of this game weren’t afraid to change up the support formula once more, so they could balance quality and quantity. ...And then, ironically, this game went for the (almost entirely) mute, personality-less avatar character. Funny how that works out. XD

Dragon Lord Army Go! / 10

FE14

I feel this game deserves way more credit than it gets, while also agreeing with the critiques. The ambition was as great as ever. But then it got stuck in development hell and we got what we got. (For those who don’t know, the team was divided in two - the team that wanted a more fanservic-y experience, and the one that wanted to make a standard FE.)

I think the gameplay is the best part of this game, Conquest is great, and the gimmicks are indeed gimmicks, but still fun. In offering three different experiences, the entire package will please few, but that was the point of the multiple routes, to give everyone one route they would like, not to please everyone with all three.

But beyond the gameplay, the story is all over the place, the multiple routes just create more questions than answers; and features like an increased number of support convos and children feel like they are there only because of a desire to bring back “popular” features. After multiple food/cooking supports in a row, I couldn’t take it any more. There was so little that the characters were actually talking about in their supports vs. Awakening. I generally feel that more supports = better, because character interaction through supports is of course a highlight of post-Famicom FE, but in this case, the numbers did not do any favors.

Bringing back weapons that don’t break didn’t feel well done, either. I just ended up using basic weapons the whole time because I didn’t want to deal with the drawbacks of the higher level weapons.

Back to a positive for me: The hub world was neat, though it needed some convoluted story writing to be included. I was amused by going through the different features and collecting the items. I agree with Nintendo of America taking out the “petting minigame,” but since I lived in Japan when Fates released, it was amusing to do on the train and weird out the bored Japanese people who peered over my shoulder.

Since all three routes were different, this game was fun enough until the end in comparison to Three Houses, of which I am STILL trying to slog through the last route one year after release. But Fates was made for every route to be different, whereas Three Houses was not, so it’s not surprising I feel like that.

But time for the real talk about this game… why is everyone’s HP so low??? What happened?????

Up and down and all around in quality from start to finish / 10

FE15

I really want to like this game more. Oh, do I. It’s absolutely GORGEOUS, the character art makes my heart skip a beat, the game proved that full voice acting does fit FE really well, it fleshed out things like the dungeon crawling & story, and added support conversations & skills, etc. while still staying kind of basic, retaining the feeling that the original was on the NES. The momentum for the fun and ambition that an FE remake could have transitioned well from FE12 to here and led to this being a stunningly presented game.

But the creators totally missed the point on what were the defining features of the game in my opinion, and that mismatch of vision ruined a lot for me. I loved the imbalance, struggling as I placed my units in corners of maps just to survive, until I obtained all those OP items, and my super soldiers marched into battle and did wild and amazing things. Valbar with +5 move and 40 speed with the Speed Ring is the one thing I remember the best of FE2 and oh man was it fun, and did I love it.

And I mean, I understand why the creators weren’t going to keep that imbalance, it doesn’t make the game good for everyone. It’s just something I found fun, and made the game stand out among the other FEs. But the developers really just replaced old imbalance with new imbalance, the dread fighters being the one thing I remember in particular.

And they defined FE2’s best defining features as “the maps and the terrain effects” and I just did not agree. That was the stuff I DISLIKED about FE2! And that’s what they wanted to keep most? The terrain that made battles one giant miss, and the gigantic maps where I’d spend half the time just getting to the enemies? No thanks.

Then the story only cranked up the horrible treatment of the women, with Faye… being Faye, and I hated the direction they went in with Celica’s story...  Ugh.

For every step or two forward, there’s one back / 10

FE10

FE games are always ambitious, but this one cranked the dial up to 10 and tripped over itself a lot. Still, it provided (even if it is info dumped) an intense and satisfying ending to the Tellius saga, and is another classic for the ages. I found the pacing boring and slow until then, though.

I think now that I’m older I can appreciate the story much, much more - and how it shows the story and aftermath of the Mad King’s War from multiple points of view -  but the lack of the support conversations, and too much going on for any aspect of this game to be properly refined, still make this one lower on my list.

If only I could have played it more than once, to really get a good memory of the events of the game. My Wii actually scratched up my disk (How this happened, I don’t know, and it’s the ONLY disk my Wii ever slaughtered). It only held out long enough for my sibling and I to enjoy one playthrough each. I’ll get to playing my Japanese copy eventually!

Part 4 = Laguz Royals Emblem / 10

Somewhere Inbetween Tier

FE5

The last of the Kaga games. Still clunky and difficult, but with it’s own super unique features in capturing, stamina, and stealing weapons.

The brokenness of staves is not at all a flaw, but a feature in my opinion. Encouraging bizarre thinking and finding new ways to plow through maps is fun. I would probably be critical if this was a modern game, but I think older games need these quirks to stand out among modern titles with better graphics and decades of gaming history behind them.

And you still can complete the maps in a more traditional manner if you are determined. I did even for Reinhardt’s map.

Also, I gotta say... I don’t agree that this is the most difficult FE overall… it just has the hardest individual maps. The difficulty spikes are all over the place. The game goes from bashing your head against a wall to snoozefest constantly.

Fog of war was a mistake though, if I was a time traveler, I’d go back and make sure the programmers never figured out how to include it. XD

Steal ALL the tomes! / 10

FE13

Experiencing this game and its release in real time was an experience. The fandom really, truly thought this game might not only be the last FE ever, but also that it might not get a localization. Thinking there would never be a localization, I spent a night of my first trip to Japan buying a Japanese 3DS and a copy of the game. I only had 2 weeks on that study tour, but I was so determined that I used some of my precious free time to go shopping for it. To afford it, I even used the money my college gave to me for food, then subsided off of cheap convenience store meals with what little I had left. I barely had any true understanding of Japanese at the time, but I wanted other fans to experience this game, so I worked as hard as I could to translate as many supports as I could. This game is why I got into translation, and was what I really thought might be the end, so it will always have a special place in my heart for that.

Now to actually talk about playing the game itself. I really enjoyed it the first couple of times. Who cares that pair-up and the kids were OP, you either blast through the game with them and have a good laugh, or ignore them, set some challenging rules, and enjoy having at least a little challenge. I didn’t care much that the supports were a little lower quality because of the sheer number of them, I eagerly awaited unlocking each one, and reading what the two characters would talk about. (We fans have fanfiction to turn to if we hunger for more development. :p) The bonus content was plentiful, and a great fanservice-y way to bring the series to a close.

After all is said and done though, the game left me feeling empty when I thought about replaying it any further. The maps and story felt empty in comparison to previous games. Now that it’s been 8 years since the initial release, I’d of course enjoy a replay or two, but after having played FEs7-9 5 or 6 times in a row before moving on to the next game… anything less than that level of excitement was surprising for me. I placed this game kinda high on the list because it’s fun when you play it. It’s just doesn’t have as much replay value, I feel.

Also, as a group, the children characters are my favorite in the series. They all come from deeply traumatic backgrounds, and the way they work through that trauma and navigate being given a second chance, but also not a true second chance because this timeline is different from their own, is endlessly fascinating for me. I don’t know if other fans give them enough credit, so I wanted to point them out in particular.

Would have been a fantastic way to send off the series, despite the flaws / 10

FE2

This game is flawed, imbalanced, makes me want to throw things, and it’s all, somehow, in a way that makes me LOVE IT. ...So long as I’m playing using an emulator with a speed up button.

This game is so hard, and the hit percentages are such garbage. But as I played, and unlocked more and more OP weapons and items, until I reached a point where the zombie dragons - what once took all my efforts - were an enemy that can easily be slaughtered in 1-on-1 combat... I felt so satisfied.

Old games need some kind of charm to make them still worth revisiting in a world of much better graphics and features that have now had decades to be refined. For me, this game has that perfect kind of quirky charm in spades.

The maps and terrain though… I have no words, just bash your head into the wall and you will understand how I feel.

Also, this game reminds me of Zelda 2 in it being a black sheep of its respective series… that’s a fun little nugget of info.

Duma’s sprite / 10

FE7

I don’t remember this game as well, despite it being one that I’ve played about 5 times? I don’t know why, it’s yet another fantastic Fire Emblem with its own ways that it stands out, managing not one, not two, but three lords, introducing the tactician, and so on. Guess time has just not been kind to my memory on this one.

I remember being really impressed with the length of this game back in the day, and Hector’s mode offering enough differences to make it totally fun to replay the main game again.

Lyn gets kind of pushed to the side (because that’s what generally happens to women main characters in Fire Emblem, if there’s a male lord around), but having the three lords was really fun. With three people, you get a great balance between all of their personalities, and they all play off of each other well.

Of course I loved Lyn and Hector, most everyone does, but I was always just as much of an Eliwood fan. His average stats pushed people away from liking him as much as the others, but I always looked up to his kindness. Eliwood / Ninian was an especially favorite pairing for my sappy teenage heart. Eliwood was just so romantic and sweet to me.

And though the game was made easier with international audiences in mind, the developers hadn’t invented all of the “easier/for convenience” features yet, so this is the last time we got to enjoy some “harder” features like needing to buy weapons during battles, and a convoy separate from the main lord. That’s cool if you like that stuff.

Unlocking the paralogues is hard though / 10

Favorites Tier

FE8

When it comes to FE8, while there’s plenty to like about the gameplay (despite the game being so easy, but again, like I said with Awakening, you can just set your own challenge rules), what I really love to ramble on about is the story and its emotional impact. Lyon is so precious and kind, but has so many inner conflicts stewing deep inside of him, leading him to elder magics, and… The Demon King is just ends up as a sideshow compared to Lyon coming face to face with his own demons. Both the characters - and many players, I’m sure - hope and hope to find a way to save him, but there just isn’t one. There are never any real leads. There’s nothing. Only the harrowing reality that some people cannot be saved, no, that some people do not want to be saved. The inevitability of Lyon’s demise, and seeing it all play out, packs a punch most plots can only dream of.

But it’s not like I won’t talk about the gameplay features either. Bringing back much of the best of FE2, the overworld map and everything to do really enhances the experience. I mean, yeah, I guess two side dungeons isn’t that much to get excited over, I can see that critique… but I didn’t care, it allowed me to easily chase support conversations, and (with some RNG abusing to obtain enough Boots and money to buy the stat-boosting items, but hey, whatever it takes) I could max out my characters’ stats and truly “complete” a Fire Emblem game.

Sacred Stones is so awesome.

Finally! A postgame! I sure hope the developers keep this up in all the future games… oh. / 10

FE9

This is the first FE game I ever played, so it will always occupy the most dear and special place in my heart, even if FE4 eventually won over as my favorite.

Do you believe in first sight? I do, and this is what taught me it’s real. From the first second of the first cutscene, I was enthralled. ...And that’s saying something, when the FE9 cutscenes are the kind of thing only a mother could love. But I just knew. I may have been a wee lass of 14, but I knew a love that would last a lifetime was being born. ...Or that would at least last 14 more years. I can’t predict the future. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and hate Fire Emblem with a burning passion? 2020 has taught me that tomorrow is always a big fat question mark.

Fun fact: in case you are wondering exactly what inspired my very initial interest in this series, it was a TV commercial. Probably this one. I just remember Ike running, of all things. My sibling and I both thought FE9 looked interesting from this commercial, and sought out the game all on our own with zero private knowledge that anything FE even existed.

This is where obsessions are born. Or mine at least. / 10 

FE4

As I’ve established, this is my favorite of favorites. The bizarre way money, arenas, items, and more were handled, actually made the game more and more fun for me. Big maps are just so fun. Gen 1’s story is a tale for the ages, and Gen 2’s story is… well, classic FE, which never gets old for me. It will never cease to amaze me even today what the SNES/S Famicom could handle.

All I’d want added is a “warp between conquered castles” feature. I’m completely neutral on a remake otherwise. Of course a lot more could be added and detailed upon that I’d be happy for, but that’s my one specific wish.

Calvary Emblem Forever / 10

Bonus:

FEH

I played this game every day for around 2 ½ years before I finally felt I had to break the habit, so I’m not leaving it out! This title got a lot of flack for simplifying FE gameplay, but… looking at it that way completely disregards the niche app games fill, and the interesting ways developers view what type of games app games should be, and how the developers work hard to both innovate for the format yet stay faithful to the source. It is surprisingly deep, and the maps + higher focus on unit skills make you think entirely differently about how to win in what is, in essence, the same gameplay as the main series.

Plus, what fan couldn’t get suckered into the fanservice of it? My best moments include attaining a +10 Nephenee while only spending money to get 2 of her, the other 9 were all F2P orbs; and becoming a Narcian/Valter shipper after supporting them on impulse because they were both on my flier team, and realizing the sick, twisted chemistry afterwards. Discovering rare-pairs is fun.

Also, finally, this game dared to nerf magic users a bit by making them RNG 2 only. If only the main series could do something like that.

I really enjoyed Heroes a lot, I just quit solely because it was a time drain. It was time to move on and play other things. And I’m glad I got out when I did. Seeing the game stoop to over-the-top powercreep (above and beyond what it was always implementing) and add the monthly service to keep the $$$$$ raking in was hard to watch.

Perfect app-style game gameplay-wise and fanservice-wise, but why aren’t gacha illegal yet / 10

FE Warriors

Oh yeah, this game exists too! It’s a Warriors game. If you like the formula and it never gets old for you, you’ll have fun with this game. If you don’t mind the limited game representation too much, you’ll have fun with this game. For me, the answers to those questions were a yes, so I enjoyed FE Warriors. Yay for wailing on hordes of enemies / 10

#fire emblem #favorites

[lembrol]

if i had to rank my favorite interactive stories, it would probably go like this

1. a courtesan of rome/eternal city: i can't even begin to explain those two. ACoR is probably the best one that still stands, even though the ending was rushed and not gave everything that i thought it would; but that could never diminish what was done. the setting, the MC, the characters, the relationships... even the animals made a difference and had a personality. it was JUST THAT GOOD/eternal city, however, was buried before it could become pretty much the best one ever. it had everything and storyscape could become the best interactive story app, but met its demise, and we all suffered because of it. i can't get over cinder, to be honest. eternal city, if i am honest, still is my favorite interactive story I've ever played

2. titanic/ride or die: titanic was just that good. storyscape had so much to give, and that is so sad because the quality of their writing was pretty much incomparable. there is no app right now that comes close to what they were, and i don't know if there will be. adal was everything you could ask in an MC and i can't love her enough for it. how can a story that you already know pretty much everything that is to know, still manage to surprise and engage you?/RoD is a cliche fast and furious ripoff that manages to be the best thing ever and probably one of the most well-crafted stories Pixelberry ever has written. the experiences the MC lives through, the parallels that the narrative creates, and how all the pieces make sense in the story. i have incredibly high hopes for the sequel AND I NEED IT NOW

3. perfect match/dragon's bride: the perfect match has dames and damien should i go any further? I'm still finishing the book, but the premise and the characters, along with the narrative (that sometimes get clunky, but i can forgive it for the purpose and storytelling that i get from it) make me enjoy it so much. it's good, it's funny and even though i think some questions could have been addressed more frequently ("do androids dream of electric sheep?"), it does very well in being heartwarming and sad and hopeful. hayden is a godsend along with steve, and i like the crew as a whole. the poly aspect is done properly, and i can enjoy the LIs routes because they seem real and well structured. it is easy to fall in love with the MC!/episodes is a very hit or miss, and pretty much most of the shots are misses. but with the dragon's bride, i got a full hit. it has everything a good story should have, like engaging storylines and charismatic side characters. you can understand the premises and the lore, and the choices do matter. the fact that you have like 3 different endings is a bonus, and all 3 of them make sense. it made me cry two times, and i appreciate it so much. if DB were made in storyscape or choices, it would be a huge hit, i am sure of it.

4. nightbound/bloodbound: so pretty much talking about the same universe here, taking into account the references and the fact that some characters from NB appear in BB. i think in a way they both suffer from the same problem, which is an abrupt ending, but i can forgive NB more easily than i do with BB, because BB had 3 seasons and a holiday book. even though i love all the 30 diamond scenes, maybe with less of them they would have been able to finish a story properly. and the idea of removing the bad ending was an error. maybe they did it to make it possible for a spinoff or a sequel or something, but it could have been done better. NB just ends and that's it. you have so much to explore, to understand, to see. there is space for a sequel, maybe two more books, because they introduced this whole batch of characters and they meet all this potential, so you create space for a sequel, but never talk about it anymore. so even though it was good, all of it! it had a lot more to give, and the ending felt lacking. and it's very weird to ask for gem-choice to end with your LI.

5. shadows of saintfour: romance club deserves more recognition. they are coming on their own with their stories, getting better, and the fact that they listen to their fans is important. from all of their completed stories, SoS is the best for me. it isn't the best in terms of establishing characters, especially compared to the ones I've listed, but their horror element is so well-done, mostly in the first season; it was scary, and the third one was grotesque. they lack in traduction quality, but i know that there is good storytelling there and that they are getting better with each update. summarizing this, i was scared shitless of this book so it is good.

#choices pb #RoD choices #RoD #ride or die #choices acor #a courtesan of rome #romance club #shadows of saintfour #episodes #bloodbound #nightbound #eternal city #storyscape #dragon's bride

[orangeflavoryawp]

Jonsa - “A Violence Done Most Kindly”, Part 1

Alright, it’s here.  I’m fucking doing it.  This is my Jonsa tour de force, my magnum opus.  My ultimate fix-it fic.

This is going to be a Season 7/8 AU. To summarize the major plot points up until now, this 'verse branches out roughly post Battle of the Bastards in canon, the mass murder of the Freys by Arya still stands, Cersei has been killed but her murderer hasn't been determined yet, Daenerys has only just landed in Westeros, the occupation/battle over Riverrun never happened as the Freys were slaughtered beforehand, and both Edmure and Brynden Tully are still alive, Bran found his way to Winterfell while Jon and Sansa dealt with ruling the North and preparing for a war with the dead, as well as the shifting power dynamics in Westeros now that Cersei has died. This story also assumes established Jonsa. Soft E. Dark. Politics and magic and murder and sex. That's essentially the gist of it.

I HIGHLY recommend that you read 'Bruises' before getting into this. It serves as a prequel of sorts, and it's only a one-shot so it reads pretty quickly. 'Bruises' really helps to set up the tone of where Jonsa is at the start of this fic.

“A Violence Done Most Kindly”

Chapter One: Hunger

"There is an old sort of magic to sacrifice, after all." - Jon and Sansa. Stark is a house of many winters.

Read it on Ao3 here.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 fin

* * *

It would be a lie to say that Sansa understands Cersei now – here at the end.

           Here where she warms her brother’s bed.

           Sansa imagines Cersei looked at Ser Jamie like this once, watching him in his sleep beside her.  Or perhaps not.  Perhaps theirs was always a quick, furtive fuck.  A blinding instant of lust and need, smothered in dark alcoves and behind garish tapestries, a secret, silent thing – clawing at them from the inside.

           Perhaps they’ve never slept the night through beside each other.

           Perhaps she regretted it – gurgling out his name while she choked on her own blood.

           Sansa reaches up to trace a hand down the side of Jon’s face, trailing past his jaw, along the cords of muscle flexing in his throat beneath her touch, whispering down his chest as he groans to wakefulness.  She slips her hand to his growing hardness with a surety that might have been foreign to the little dove Cersei once knew.

           But then, maybe that is also a lie.

           “Sansa,” he groans, head thrown back along the pillow, voice rough with sleep and desire.

           She braces her lips to his neck, imagines the rush of blood just beneath her mouth – pulls him from slumber with a selfish, desperate yearning she does not regret.  “I need you,” she breathes into his skin, teeth sinking down.

           Jon growls his answer, grabbing her by the hair, yanking her head back and kissing her hungrily.  He turns her easily, bracing her back along the bed as he covers her with his weight, already hard and ready in her hand.

           Some small part of her wishes Cersei had been her kill.  A different, equally intense part of her, is relieved beyond words that she isn’t – that she would never be, now.

           But more than that – more than a vengeful wrath she’s spent too long feeding to ever be free of hunger, to ever be satisfied with a mere raven scroll and the somber, even way Bran announces the news – more than that –

           She just needs Jon.

           “Come back to me,” she whispers against his mouth, moving with him in the dark.

           No, she doesn’t think she’ll ever understand Cersei.

           But as she feels Jon slip inside her, as she cradles his groan in the hollow of her throat, as she catches her lips at his temple – she thinks she doesn’t need to.

           It’s a different hunger she feeds now, after all.

* * *

           Sansa recognizes the sound of Baelish’s footsteps well before he’s made it to her side.  He slinks like shadow easily enough across stone and wood and dirt, but here in the godswood, trudging through snow in the womb of winter, his steps are almost awkward, clunky.

           He does not belong here.  She knows this now with a certainty she hasn’t felt in years.

           “My lady, I had hoped to find you here.”

           Sansa only sighs, glancing away from the red weirwood leaves to meet his gaze over her shoulder.  She offers a silent nod in greeting.

           Baelish makes his way toward her, smoothing his hands over his robe when he settles beside her.  “You have not forgotten what we spoke of when last I found you here, I should hope.”

           Sansa tugs her furs tighter around her shoulders, eyes drifting back to the weirwood branches.  “How could one forget?”

           “Yes,” he murmurs, eyes drifting down her face and trailing the length of her throat.

           She tries not to swallow, not to give notice of her discomfort.  He takes a step closer.  She resolutely does not take one back.

           “This is a very crucial time for us, Sansa, you must know that.”

             “Cersei is dead,” she says in answer, and she thinks maybe it should feel different along her tongue.  Lighter, perhaps.  Sweeter. Instead, it’s nothing but a stringent tartness.

           “Yes, and by whose hand?  None of my people seem to know the answer to that, except for whispers of faceless girls. Dead end gossip.”  He looks at her out of the corner of his eye, appraising.

           Sansa gives him nothing to appraise.  “Is that what matters right now?”

           He stays quiet a moment, and then, “It is, until we can ascertain whose side her murderer is on.”

           Another silence.  Sansa stretches a gloved hand out to catch the faint flecks of snow falling from the branches.

           “We can’t let this opportunity pass us by.  Cersei’s death has lead to infighting amongst the houses.  King’s Landing is in near shambles with no discernible sovereign.  Qyburn has fled without the support of his queen.  The Mountain hasn’t been seen since reports of Cersei’s death. Citizens are fleeing to the other kingdoms as we speak, and even Daenerys Targaryen has seen the uselessness in conquering King’s Landing at this point.”

           She knows this.  She knows this already and she’s tired of hearing it.  It only ever ends one way.

           Baelish reaches for her, grasping her arms and turning her to face him, his gentleness forced and rushed – a falsity.  Sansa blinks up at him.

           “We have to consolidate power.  If we wait too long, this chaos will be of no help to us.”

           “Then go.”

           Baelish furrows his brow at her answer, his fingers flexing along her elbows.

           She swallows tightly, face a blank visage.  “Go to King’s Landing then.  Consolidate.”  She lifts her chin.  “Go.”

           His throat flexes, poison tongue pressing back behind pursed lips.

           “You can’t, can you?” she asks, not unkindly.  “Because your power lies here.  With me.  And with the Vale.  You can’t abandon either of us without giving yourself a disadvantage.”

           “Sansa.”  It’s almost a warning.  As much a warning as Baelish ever gives – all smooth tones and invaded intimacy.  His head inclines toward hers.

           “Jon won’t go South.  Not for that.”  She extracts herself from his hold slowly, gently, without offense.

           Baelish smacks his lips, a minute flicker of irritation crossing his eyes, but it’s all he will allow her to see of his disturbance.  “The King can be persuaded.”

           “Not in this.  The dead occupy him on all sides.  He won’t play the game.”

           “Not even for you?”

           Sansa doesn’t think too long on the way his eyes flick to her lips for a fraction of a second.  “You overestimate my influence.”

           “Oh, I think not,” he says lowly, a curl to his lip that reminds her of purple-faced boy-kings and hound-fed bastards.

           No, he does not belong here.  Not in the white and cold and wind of home.  Not here where her mother used to brush her hair and her father used to beg her hand to dance and her brothers played their knightly parts in her tales dutifully.  Not here where she had wanted to bury Lady those many years ago.

           Wanted, and never could.

           Sansa realizes suddenly, that Winterfell is not yet free.

           And neither is she.

* * *

           In the wake of Cersei’s death, the ensuing vacuum of power nearly cripples the kingdoms, with the remainder of the Lannister forces rallying behind a mourning, vengeful Ser Jaime, intent on securing the Reach and the Stormlands. Dorne wastes no time to declare its independence from the Seven Kingdoms entirely, and shortly after the suspicious slaughter of the Freys by unseen Northern hands both the Riverlands and the Vale swear to the North under the threat of a coming dragon queen.

           Jon has no time for such politics.

           Sansa rails against him openly in the Hall of Lords, demanding his attention to the ensuing fight for the crown, but the dead take precedence in everything he brings to court, and it’s not long before ravens are sent to all corners of Westeros begging aid in the coming fight.

           Bran watches placidly, neither arguing for or against either of them. Sansa would call him not unlike a piece of furniture if she hadn’t better manners, and most days her pleads for his council lands on deaf ears.  She ends most gatherings of the lords rife with frustration and nearly frothing at the mouth.

           She doesn’t need to glance at Baelish to know the look he gives her.

           “You think just because Cersei is dead that we are free from the South? That they will not land their hooks into every inch of the North until we are chained to them once more?” Sansa seethes, shutting her door once Jon is through it.

           Jon heaves an unsteady breath, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “That’s not what I think, and you know it,” he grits out, sending a dark look her way.  “Stop twisting my words.”

           “Then stop ignoring mine.”

           “I’m not!”  He stalks toward her, stops before he can do anything else.  His hands itch at his sides.  “Sansa, we can’t keep this up – this back-and-forth.  We can’t afford such a divide, not now.”

           Sansa takes a purposeful breath, hands folding before her.  “I’m with you, Jon, I am but – ”

           “Are you?  Sometimes I wonder.”  He can’t help the scoff that leaves him.  He stares at her, keeps her gaze a moment longer, and then he’s turning to the far window, a hand raking over his face.  He’s just so tired, suddenly.

           Sansa is deadly still.  So still he can’t even hear the rustle of her skirts on the cold stone at their feet – can’t pick up the scrape of air she pulls through anger-fused lungs.

           “And how is your show of the dead going with the other kingdoms, hmm?” she bites out.

           Jon snaps his head to her, his eyes narrowing so quickly she might have missed it.

           Sansa takes a step toward him.  “Are they simply jumping to aid us?  Are they gathering the entire might of their forces, marching the sum of their armies North, all on your word?”  Something sharp glints in her gaze and Jon swallows his reply back instantly. She scoffs, head thrown back.  And then her eyes are eerily blue on his – instantly staggering him.  “And have I ever demanded evidence?  Have I ever once denounced your claims of the rising dead before the lords?”

           Jon has no answer.  None that would satisfy, at least.

           Something in her softens at his silence, another step taken toward him. “I’ve never asked you to prove anything to me, Jon.”

           Jon, she calls him – always.

           (There was never anything to prove between them, after all.)

           Jon closes his eyes, takes a long, deep breath, exhales just as evenly. When he opens his eyes, she’s still there.  Still copper-crowned and winter-poised.  Still every inch his sister.

           And every inch not.

           He thinks maybe it’s a sickness – this craving of his.

           Jon steps into her, the stiff silence descending upon them like a cloak. He’s so close.  He’s so unbearably close, and even though he has yet to touch her, the heat suffuses him – a stifled winter, a burrowing need.

           He can see the way her chest heaves at the sudden proximity.

           (She’s always been his, even when she won’t admit to it.)

           Jon thrums a tentative hand along her side, fingers grazing the line of her hip.

           Her tongue darts out to wet her lips.

           It’s a lost cause, he knows.  Since the moment she opened her door to him, this was only ever going to end one way.

           “I know you’re with me,” he tells her on an exhale, roiled in heat.

           She arches a single, fine brow.  “Do you? Sometimes I wonder.”  She almost smacks her lips with self-satisfaction.

           A low snarl eases from his lips, his hand bunching in her dress, dragging her to him.  She lets him, hands alighting on his chest.  He leans into her, nuzzling his temple to hers, breath ragged already.

           She makes it so easy.

           He’s already panting for her.

           (She makes it so hard.)

           “Sansa,” he groans out, fingers trembling as they reach for her laces.

           She takes his face in her hands, pulls him back until his eyes are locked with hers.  He doesn’t still his unlacing of her.  He couldn’t even if he tried.

           So unbearably close.

           (He just needs to touch her.)

           “You lose one war, you lose them all,” she tells him, arching against him.

           She’s right, he knows.  She’s right, and yet –

           She comes undone so easily in his hands – they need to stop ending their arguments this way.

           Because this – the splendid way she hisses beneath his tongue and the subtle way she arches into his hands and the ragged pant of his name (his name) along her bruising lips – is a war they can’t afford to lose.

           (This is a war they haven’t even begun to fight, not truly – not by the light of day.)

           “I’m with you,” she whispers against his mouth, and he knows.

           He knows, he knows, he knows.

           And even still –

           Some wars aren’t about who’s right.  They’re only about who’s left.

* * *

           Arya returns to Winterfell in the dead of night.  Ghost clambers to wakefulness at the foot of Jon’s bed, the sharp rap on his door jolting him from sleep.

           It’s Davos at his door.  “In the hall, Your Grace,” he says, and nothing more.

           Jon rushes from the room, following his Hand and the faint shadows Davos’ torch casts along the walls.  When he turns the next corridor, he sees Sansa emerging from her own chambers, Brienne at her side.  Her sworn shield tugs the fallen slip of Sansa’s robe over her lady’s bared shoulder at Jon’s presence, and the motion does not go unnoticed.

           “What is it?” Sansa hisses in the night.

           He shakes his head, throat parched.

           It happens moments later.

           It happens when they breach the shadowed hall.  It happens when Arya turns from her appraisal of the room, eyes a slate grey that should be comforting, familiar – but are only haunting.  She is perfectly still in the filtering moonlight through the tall windows.  She is perfectly winter-poised (an eerie reflection of the sister beside him, and distantly, he wonders if either of them knew they’d ever grow to be thus).

           It’s a crack, a fissure – a lung-scraping quake that sunders through the silent hall.  

Ghost is the first to break the stillness, trotting up to Arya with an ease that staggers Jon’s heart in his chest.  But Arya smiles – smiles – and it’s a faint curl of her lips, before she’s bending like reeds in the wind, reaching for the direwolf’s great maw and threading her fingers through his thick fur, hands gliding over Ghost’s face and ears and neck.  Something of sorrow and fondness sweeps over her face then. “Hey, boy.  You’ve been keeping watch for me?”

           Jon is breaking toward her then, something splintering inside him he hasn’t a name for, and then she’s in his arms, and he’s lifting her up, up, and up, her feet off the ground, her arms around his neck, his broken gasp of her name smothered in her hair, and he’s trembling, absolutely shaking against her, absolutely shattered – here, to be here – with his little sister in his arms.  He holds her for an immeasurable amount of time, for eons and epochs and yet he’d hold her still, if only he could.  It never seems enough.

           Jon dips her back to the floor, breathless, glancing back at Sansa, and he stills suddenly at the way she stares at them.

           Arya keeps a hand at Jon’s elbow, her smile receding.  A soft, keen quiet overtakes her.  Her eyes shine with tears.  “Hello, Sansa.”

           Sansa takes a step, hand outreaching, and then stops herself.  She takes a sudden breath, and Jon is too overcome to think much of it, so he braces a hand at the small of Sansa’s back, urging her toward their sister.

           He doesn’t catch the way Arya’s eyes trail the intimate motion of his hand.

           “Arya.”  Sansa’s voice catches, and then she’s stumbling into her, arms wide, drawing her little sister to her chest.

           Arya’s eyes shutter closed for a moment, breathing something of relief against Sansa’s breast, her hands fisting in her robe at her back, but then she’s blinking those grey, haunting eyes open to Jon.

           He feels cracked open.  Bloody and bare.  Jon swallows the trepidation back.

           Their sister is returned.

           His hand burns beneath the memory of Sansa’s heat at his fingertips.

* * *

           Arya knows.

           She knows, Sansa thinks when she catches the derision in her little sister’s eyes from across the courtyard.  Somehow, she knows.

           Sansa steps purposely away from Jon as they walk together below the ramparts.

           He furrows his brows at the motion, a hand going to her elbow.  “Sansa,” he begins.

           She huffs her frustration, staying his hand.

           He’s always been terrible at pretenses.

           “Our sister is watching,” she mutters beneath her breath pointedly, and she can see the way his spine straightens, the way his shoulders stiffen.

           She is Sansa Stark.  And he is Jon Snow.  And not for the first time has she lamented this – though perhaps not so much as now.

           Now when he is close enough to touch and yet the chasm widens ever farther.

           This chasm called honor.

           (But there is nothing honorable about the ways in which he touches her in the dark of night.)

           Jon is silent for long moments, before he comes to an abrupt halt at the edge of the courtyard.  Sansa turns to find him staring at his boots, brows furrowed.  He heaves a sigh, a calloused hand wiping down his face, and then he’s turning swiftly, walking back the way they came.  Sansa watches him go, something constricting in her chest not unlike grief.  She looks back across the courtyard to see Arya still watching her.  Her jaw locks, her barred teeth caught behind perfectly poised lips.

           There are some things Arya will never know, she reminds herself.

           She will never know the way Jon’s eyes grow dark by candlelight, or the way his throat flexes beneath the press of her tongue, or the tremble that racks through him when she slips to her knees at the edge of his bed, bracketed by his thighs.

           And perhaps there is something secret and selfish still living in her. Perhaps there is a part of her that revels in the knowledge that while she may not be the favorite sister, she is the only sister who can drag such whines from his throat, who can reduce him to pleading, who can have him panting and desperate as he throws his head back, hand curling in her copper tresses as he pushes her mouth down on his length, hips thrusting shallowing up to meet her.

           No, Sansa reminds herself.  Arya will never know the dark visage of Jon when the last of his control snaps, when he’s pouring filth from his mouth too base even for brothels, when he’s rutting into her mouth like something feral, spilling hot and frenzied down her throat as he growls her name through clenched teeth, over and over and over again.

           No. Arya will never know the way he looks at her in the aftermath, the way he curls a quaking hand along the curve of her jaw, thumb brushing over her mouth in something perhaps too feverish to be called tender, but just as searing.

           She thinks this when she departs from the courtyard.

           She thinks this when she feels Arya’s gaze following along her back.

           She thinks this when she closes the latch behind her to Jon’s door that night.

* * *

           “You’re our brother,” Arya says like a demand.  “You’re her brother.”  It comes out slightly searing this time.

           Jon grips at the mantle over the hearth, his back to her.  “I still am.”

           “How could you be?”  Her scoff is lined with something faintly like disgust.

           Jon closes his eyes at the sound.  He draws a deep breath in, lets it to air.

           Arya shifts somewhere behind him.  “Robb would never have touched her so.”

           “Aye, and Robb isn’t the brother she begs for at night, is he?” he spits just as harshly, whirling on her.  He realizes what he says a moment before he catches the look that passes over her face.

           It’s not a look she’s ever directed at him before.

           Jon swallows thickly, the words dying in his throat.

           Arya looks away, lips pursed tight.  She’s so utterly still.  This whole while, her entire time at Winterfell, she’s been nothing but stillness.

           Jon wants to shake her suddenly, just to know she’s still there.  Just to know he isn’t the only one missing what they used to be.

           He has to tear his gaze from her – has to focus on the lick of flames in the hearth, the flare of copper too familiar to cool this rancid heat in him. “But I’m not Robb, am I?” he whispers, almost like regret, almost like penitence.

           (Almost, but not quite.)

           “No,” Arya answers, so low he might have imagined it.  “No, you’re not.”

           He isn’t sure what it is he hears in her voice, and he doesn’t have the heart to turn to her then, to see for himself, to know the damning censure of her gaze, even when her voice is indiscernible.  

           She leaves him then, the heavy door of his solar sliding shut with a nauseating finality.

           She doesn’t even leave a shadow.

           (But he thinks he should have expected this.  He thinks he should have expected a lot of things.)

* * *

           Jon has known the permanence of betrayal, the way it sinks into your marrow until you are rife with it, until the sharp tang of it has festered long and sour beneath your tongue, until it is behind every look over the shoulder and every false greeting.

           Jon sneaks a glance at Sansa beside him, catches the upturn of her chin while she listens to Lord Glover in the Hall of Lords, the resolute crispness of her blue gaze as she sits regally at the head table.

           His hand strays to the ends of her furs hanging over the arm rest.  He catches the material between his thumb and forefinger, a small comfort.  An anchor in the storm.

           He glances back out across the hall.  All eyes are on Sansa.  All but a lone, accusing pair.

           Jon catches Arya’s glare from across the hall, nearly missing her lithe frame amidst the shrouding shadows of the Stark banners.  The flicker of torchlight is not enough to obscure her frown.

           His hand slips from the edge of Sansa’s furs beneath the table, his throat dry with an apprehension he’s never felt before.

           They sit staring at each other for long moments – everything and nothing passing between them – the lords airing their complaints and their needs like a fog around him.

           “Do you agree, Your Grace?”

           Sansa’s voice comes to him like a gale.

           Jon snaps his gaze to her, blinking rapidly.

           He suddenly remembers.

           He remembers that Sansa has seen the evidence of betrayal marring his skin. She’s seen the gashes along his chest and not withheld her touch.  She’s smothered his sobs of recollection to her breast when he’s recounted the nooses – the way their feet swayed in the wind like a condemnation.

           Sansa has never been party to his betrayal.

           Sansa will never be his betrayal.

           His fingers search for the ends of her furs once more, gripping tightly beneath the cover of the table – no longer an anchor, but the thing that drowns him.

           “Aye,” he agrees, never needing to know what he agrees to.

           Sansa eyes him with something of sharpness.

           Jon looks back across the hall.  Arya is gone.

           He does not relinquish his hold.

* * *

{“Why did you bring her here?”

           Bran looks up at Sansa’s question.  It is a face she used to know once – but not anymore. She holds tight to this image of her brother like sand sifting through her fingers. She wonders if it is not perhaps easier to simply let him fall.

           She looks away finally, her hands gripping at her skirts.

           The hearth spits another log to cinders before them, and she thinks he means to keep this damn silence always, until, “Because she is needed.”}

#jonsa #jon snow #sansa stark #jon x sansa #jon and sansa #arya stark #bran stark #starklings #house stark #game of thrones #got fanfic #my writing #a violence done most kindly

[lindoig6]

Completing your Birdata Survey

As mentioned earlier, the preferred format for ‘standardised’ bird surveys is to spend 20 minutes in an area of 2 hectares identifying and counting every bird you see.  This data can be recorded directly into the Birdata app and submitted online. There is an opportunity to undertake different types of surveys, but they are less helpful and may not be incorporated into the data scientists use in their research.  You can include additional data in any of the surveys you undertake and some of this is certainly encouraged in your standardised surveys.

The best place to learn about the finer details of survey reporting is on the Birdata website, but to get you started, I will set out some of the basics.  (As I said earlier, I usually collect my survey data offline, recording it on paper on a pro formae of common or likely sightings that I have created in advance. This avoids wasting precious time searching and recording on the app when I prefer to be counting birds.  Once my 20 minutes is up, I can then use my paper notes to enter the required data into the app and submit it – and this is almost essential if I am surveying in an area with no internet access.  You may prefer to log your sightings directly into the app but how you do it is everyone’s individual choice.

Once you have downloaded the app and set yourself up as a user (you just need to register with a few basic details), you can open the app and click on the Record Survey button.  You will usually be doing a General Birdata survey so click on that.  (Note that the Birds in Backyards surveys are NOT those undertaken as part of the Aussie Backyard Bird Count – you need to use the Aussie Bird Count app to record those surveys.)  You then need to move the map on the next screen and enlarge it quite a lot to show the exact site of your survey.  If you are out of internet range, you are now stuck because this requires a GPS reading and that depends on internet access – another reason I record my surveys on paper first.  Once you have located yourself on the map, click Record Survey here.

On the next screen, the date and current time will be displayed as will the Program - General Bird survey.  (It is possible to change these details later before submitting your results if necessary.)  You need to select the Survey Type, probably the 2Ha, 20 minute search.  If you are doing a different type of survey, I suggest you go to the Birdata website for more details about the requirements for any of the less-preferred surveys.

You need to give your survey area a Location name, if it has not previously been given a name by you or another surveyor during an earlier survey.  If you are on your own, the Number of Observers will remain at 1, but if you are with colleagues who are contributing to the count, simply increase the number to reflect this.  It is preferred that you report All Species Recorded even if you have to record the number of unidentified birds you saw during your survey.

The Water level may need to be a guess if you are not familiar with the area at different seasons but do the best you can.  Location accuracy will usually be Within survey area unless you want to report something unusual that you saw outside the immediate area.  Unless you are surveying a completely new area of reporting very soon after a bushfire, you can probably ignore the Bushfire Assessment.

At last, you are ready to Record some Sightings.

I find this section pretty clunky.  You have to Search by species name for every sighting so click on it and enter a few characters until your bird is displayed. Click on the entry for your bird and enter the number seen and click Done.  This will take you back to the screen to search for another species and you can repeat this process for every species you see.  If you have already recorded say, 2 Black Swans before seeing 3 more, you can either click 3 more times on the + button next to the species or go back in and amend the number originally entered.

There is an opportunity to record any observed Breeding Activity on the species page, but the available selections are sometimes a little tricky.  Do the best you can – or just ignore this.

You can add Notes about any aspect of your sightings, e.g., if your count is an estimate or if you observed anything unusual about the bird or its behaviour.  It is a ‘free text’ box so use it or not depending on whether you think it is likely to be of value.  I usually record at least the weather/wind conditions here.

There is also an opportunity to submit Photos of your selected bird – but they MUST be photos taken during the actual survey period – other photos are not acceptable.

Once you have recorded all your survey sightings, click Review and Submit. This enables you to review and correct (or confirm) all the data you have entered.  If you are happy with it, click Submit Survey and away it goes – if you are connected to the internet!

When you have a few idle minutes, it is worth logging into the Birdata website and browse a lot of really useful information there.  Some, e.g., about the Breeding codes, can be a bit daunting, but there is a lot of valuable information on the site.  You can record your surveys directly on the site if you prefer instead of using the app – but you can also review all the data you have ever submitted and get a range of interesting reports and statistics about your surveys - and aggregated data about all surveys.  It can be quite fascinating to explore once you have submitted a number of surveys. Some of this information is available by clicking My Stats on the front page of the app, but the website has more features and better ways of analysing your surveys.

[nyxatnight]

6.7 | Mid-Season God Changes

APOLLO

Apollo is getting ready to tour his way across the battleground. Apollo has struggled to bring consistent damage to fights. This inconsistency was large attributed to his passive, which had high variance based on how many stacks of Audacity he has at the start of a fight. Audacity will now gain stacks when each of his abilities damage enemy gods, giving him a more direct way to build this stacks more quickly and reliably. The Moves is also getting a boost, aiding teammates and harming enemies for an additional second.

AUDACITY

Each damaging ability now adds 2 stacks of Audacity for each enemy god hit

The Moves still adds 1 stack of Audacity for hitting enemy minions

CHAAC

SMITE’s premier Mayan action hero has been struggling lately. Chaac is well known as a consistent solo laner, but never a true playmaker. We are making one quite significant change to Chaac’s Ultimate to make sure his team fight impact is meaningful. Enemies will have a much harder time fleeing from him with Storm Call knocking enemies straight up.

STORM CALL

The knockback from this effect now knocks enemy players straight up

ISIS

Isis is receiving a mixture of Quality of Life buffs and some new utility, highlighting her ability to assist her team while bringing the damage. Funeral Rites will now affect allies at a further range, increasing how often it applies its benefits. Spirit Ball has undergone some adjustments to make it more responsive, and give Isis control over detonating it while Crowd Controlled and even dead. Circle of Protection is also seeing some loving, gaining some increased base healing and reducing damage by a higher amount at all ranks. Teams can fight more aggressively inside this field, while Isis can use this in a more defensive manner to answer ganks.

Dispel Magic is also undergoing a slight rework. Previously, Dispel Magic would boost Magical Protection of allies based on their protections. This caused it to be highly variable. We are making its defensive portion more consistent by instead applying a shield to allies and Isis when she successfully hits an enemy. Hitting multiple enemies will further increase the potency, giving Isis strong teamfight utility.

FUNERAL RITES

Increased Range from 30 to 40 units.

SPIRIT BALL

You can now re-fire this ability at any point after firing it. This includes while under the effects of crowd control and while dead.

Removed the postfire from this ability (from 0.1 to 0)

DISPEL MAGIC

Dispel Magic no longer provides a boost to Magical Protection. It instead provides a shield to Isis and nearby allies. This shield is applied within 40 units of Isis or the dispelled target.

Shield Health :90/130/170/210/250 + 40% increased potency per additional target hit.

This caps at +80% potency (3 gods hit).

The duration remains unchanged.

CIRCLE OF PROTECTION

Increased the base healing from 80/100/120/140/160 to 110/130/150/170/190

Increased the mitigations obtained from 15/15/17.5/17.5/20% to 25% at all ranks

NIKE

Nike is receiving the largest changes of any god this patch. Nike has been in an odd spot for a while, you would expect the most winning god in the game to be a popular choice, but she simply was not. In fact, she is one of the least played gods in the game. The major issues we heard from players was that she didn’t feel like she brought impact to the fight. Additionally, an ability solely dedicated to augmenting another can sometimes make her feel like she is lacking a full kit. When looking at her kit, the passive is a major contributor to her incredible win rate but it isn’t something players feel; so her predicament makes sense. 

To address this we first are nerfing her passive across the board. If we want to give her an impactful feeling power without breaking her balance, this is something that must be done. With that done, we can reinvest that power into her core abilities and a full rework on Plant of Action. All abilities will now benefit from their “Plan Of Action” version as their base form, with a few numerical adjustments. Plan of Action is being replaced with a new ability: Barrier Formation! 

Barrier Formation gives Nike the ability to lead the charge for her team and protect herself and allies from incoming attacks. Enemy Ranged Basic Attacks are absorbed by her, and enemies that get too close will be repelled away and dealt damage. When this effect ends (either by refiring or timing out) the Barrier will collapse and deal damage in a larger area. This ability also solidifies Nike’s role as a frontline Warrior who takes one for the team to ensure victory.

REND

This ability now always fires 3 times.

PLAN OF ACTION (BARRIER FORMATION) – FULL ABILITY REWORK

Nike conjures a protective barrier in front of her that blocks ranged Basic Attacks. While channeling the barrier Nike’s movement and rotation are limited. Enemies who get near the barrier are damaged and knocked back. At any point, Nike can re-fire the ability to collapse the barrier and deal damage to enemies in a larger area in front of her.

Channels for up to 6 seconds

She moves 50% slower while channeling

Refire Damage (single hit at end of ability)

VALIANT LEAP

This ability now always travels at the faster speed

SKADI

Kaldr is a unique god, boasting a full second character as his passive. Just kidding! Skadi and Kaldr are seeing some updates this patch to address core frustrations players face when playing as the duo. Her passive felt more akin to her 2nd ability rather than something unique to herself while Kaldr felt clunky when trying to execute the ultimate. Dying right before it went off could mean Kaldr retreating rather than fighting and a complete waste of the Ultimate ability.

Skadi is gaining an additional component to her passive when Kaldr is down, giving her the strength to avenge her fallen companion. Kaldr in turn is gaining some increased survivability , regenerating life more quickly. Finally, the Ultimate is being reworked. Rather than Kaldr immediately being restored to health and pulsing out an AoE Blizzard, Winter’s Grasp now utilizes Kaldr with an aimable targeter. He will leap to that area, restoring his health on the way, and then root enemies and begin his pulsing damage upon arrival. This gives Skadi greater control over where Kaldr is going and increased the responsiveness in more chaotic fights.

KALDR, THE WINTER WOLF

If Kaldr has 0 HP, Skadi gains 10% increased physical power

Increased Kaldr’s Hit point regeneration from 7s to 5s

WINTER’S GRASP – REWORK

A snowstorm surrounds Skadi as she chooses a location for Kaldr to attack. If Kaldr is too far he will leap there. Upon reaching the location a snowstorm also surrounds Kaldr. The initial hit of either snowstorm Roots enemies in the area and Kaldr is restored to full health. The storms persist for 4s while dealing damage to enemies every .5s

THOR

Thor is the God of Thunder, and in this update we hope to make that title more fitting. The major goals for these design changes are to give Thor a more distinct identity among Assassins, improve his kit functionality, and add some more of his core themes to his Ultimate ability. Berserker Barrage was previously a higher cooldown and longer channel, making it unclear when it should be used and difficult to use properly. It has been reworked to be a quick and snappy 3 part hit with a low cooldown. Being in Thor’s face for too long can quickly turn into a bad situation.

Anvil of Dawn is also gaining new components, thunder and lightning! After landing from his Ultimate Mjolnir will become infused with lightning, causing any damage it deals (Basic Attacks, Mjolnir’s Attunement, Berserker’s Barrage) to arc lightning to nearby targets. This not only helps in single target situations but rewards Thor for diving directly into the enemy team and causing mayhem.

BERSERKER BARRAGE – REWORK

Thor spins his hammer around him dealing damage to Enemies in front of him up to 3 times and those behind him up to 2 times. The final swing deals extra damage. Thor is immune to Knockup for the duration.

ANVIL OF DAWN – NEW COMPONENT

After Thor lands from his ultimate, his hammer Mjolnir is infused with lightning for 6 seconds.

During this buff state, each of his basic attacks and abilities chain lightning to nearby Enemy gods, damaging them with each hit

Full 6.7 Mid-Season God Changes

#6.7 #smite #smite game

[incarnateirony]

S14 Spec & Meta Review

Honestly divorcing my spec and meta seems kind of futile at this point. Because at this point most of the spec is now meta-in-retrograde, so I’m just going to make a sort of master post of stuff-I’ve-done through the season for anyone that wants to re-access it. 

Honestly, mostly for myself so I know how to streamline it into full overview without leaving it dangling, including things that need mega clapping updates (IE before Optimism and Nihilism firmly weighted into hermetic and gnostic concepts or literal hermetic value of the color coding my brain locked on early)

For anyone that is interested in exploring these, anything tucked behind a cut that gets turned into a broken link, please remember I changed my @ and old cuts are unkind to that, you can manually repair the link in a browser. 

Early Spec 14.1: “Stranger In A Strange Land” Titles, intertext, “Point of Know Return”; martians as angels, into new worlds, but no new world; Michael, discussion of Dean and Jack mirrors through Michael Smith. I must have tagged really lazily around then. I go through periods of that. That’s all I can find.

14.2:  a general watch commentary. Found one about stupid BuckLeming antibodies I turned into Nick and the Empty spec and forward Michael haunting. More about HOW Michael was going to keep the door open on Dean. Semi crackposting about hollywood relevance of Gods & Monsters and queerness

14.3: Active word vomit - less meta, more stream of thought on view for later meta I’ll probably revisit over hiatus; Extra thoughts on Wayward, Destiel and Bobo, One thread I was tagged into a few times; (1) Speculation that the phylactery represented using Jack’s life to pull Lucifer back from the Empty, (2) speculating Michael gone but with “an open line” per season 5 rules.  More Wayward, Destiel, Berens, and speccing Michael’s open line and that it would feed back in Bobo’s next episode titled The Spear in a cycle of Scar<->Spear relevance.

14.4: (1) Hunting actions, bidding things, the comic business. (2) Accessory screen grab.

14.5: (1) Sam lensed thoughts.  Also (2) one of the Americana posts in the nonlinear section below. SO CLOSE - Semi crack spec that ended one step and one character to the left; the destruction of Michael sending one of our boys to the empty via nihilism foreshadowing RIP.

14.6: (1) Thoughts, Review, early rambling drivel for later revisit (2) Color Study: Red (3) Color Study: Blue & Yellow ** note to self revisit this now that hermetics have become so bold, I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS.

14.7: (1) Promo Looksie is definitely worth revisiting now that we see where they took that.  (2) Directing Drabbles -- “Dean’s boxed in” and more. (3) BL writing critique  (4) Pre-meta/spec: More questions than answers in 14.7  (5) More directing drabbles: Mirrors, bars, boxes and optical illusions ahoy.

14.8 Late Byzantium-associated thoughts, a lyrics drabble

14.9 seems to be another void in my bad tagging

14.10: Pre-air spec: S 2-3, 3.10 -> S14, 14.10;  4190300-01 numerology;  Blue & Yellow interweaving strikes again and secondary commentary on it and the inner psyche ** just like above I have new thoughts on this to leave a note for myself with the hermetic veins and titles on full display now. 

14.11: Abraxas and the Demiurge - The evocation of a gnostic idea; the god of control and the sleeping Forefather begins. Anons: (1) (2) (3) (4); (3) Drawing Lucifer from The Empty and more, an absence in our narrative leaving a yawning gap.

14.12 has a post gap like a bad thigh gap, I really gotta fix my tag system.

Ep 300 Promo: Asclepius Spotted, orphic egg; Also about early version Cas coming back specced but that was obvious I think. General Spec: Forecasting John’s return, time travel, reflection, reconciliation.

Release between 14.13 and 14.14: The Lateralus Project. All notes of hermetic significance and its application to SPN’s story structure in the notes. 13 song, 12 video series; I’ll be making a master video of this sometime ambiguously somewhen.

14.14: Pre-release thoughts on hermetics, jung.

14.15: Apparently never re-visited it after leaving this mini-commentary so I’ll have to do so.

14.16: Not the peak of my SPN positivity, honestly mostly just criticism of the new author’s clunky characterization compared to Meghan’s. I mean a few notes about people needing the truth but more just- eh, not even worth cataloguing. May revisit some time to see if it’s vaguely worth corresponding to the ouroboros cycle via Wendigo and our “stop lying” mythos but that’s about it.

14.17: Bad tagging strikes again. I remember vaguely posting just before this episode Mary was about to die, but that’s all I’m finding.

14.18: Pre-air spec: Hermetic meaning of Absence (of good), the weight of Moriah; Directorial drabbles - (1) Of cornered angels and lost souls and a S6/7 loop towards Godstiel (2) Dean segregated from the other two’s position (3) That was the point right, get the thing that killed mom.

14.19: Pre-air crack & spec: Jack becoming the egg. I misread the color and yet with the other framework it apparently seems true enough.

14.20: Optimism vs Nihilism & Hermeticism vs Gnosticism; more associated gnostic vs hermetic brainvomit resulting; a game of chicken (&egg&snake); the Orphic Egg returns; thoughts & speculation on the empty and more. STILL the point: Get the thing that killed mom, the real yellow eyed demon.

Nonlinear mythos thoughts

Re: Primordial or Universal Concepts in Supernatural, with additions about sighted hermetic signs by @drsilverfish

@curioussubjects took my pre-air 14.18 meta fodder and made this pre-air beautiful commentary of the falseness of binary opposition, looking closer and critically at the narrative, goodness and togetherness as a collaborative act; one that depends on togetherness rather than apartness, or presence rather than absence in the interpretive process, and how that connected with our misguided heroes and misreadings of situations which, frankly, nailed 14.20 on the head. Good work.

Nonlinear Destiel thoughts

Americana, Americana 2, Americana 3

So now I have a pretty good idea what episodes I need to revisit, what METAS I need to streamline since a lot of this panned out, and summarily next steps now through hiatus. Otherwise, enjoy the mix of meta, madness, speculation, drabbles, and theology thrown in here.

#supernatural #my meta #season 14 #complete #ish #bibliography #pagan life #menu post #alchemy notes

[kirankowda]

Search Ads 360 is a Google product, part of the Google marketing Platform. Put simply, this platform helps advertisers, digital marketers and businesses manage massive search marketing campaigns with relative ease, regardless of which engine or channel they’re operating on. It’s not a free Google offering but is worth the money when you play your cards right.

It also helps to manage several advertisers under one single account, while allowing marketers to generate reports on individual engine accounts and advertisers. However, managing ad campaigns for all advertisers and maintaining a format could be quite the uphill task. Search Ads 360 has an ad template feature that aids in generating and managing upgraded inventory campaigns.

An ad template is what its name says it is- a template for ads coming from one ad group or group of products and services. An ad template produces one ad for each value or value combination selected by the ad group from the inventory data. This value or combination is specified by the advertiser and is called an ‘ad multiplier’.

If you want each ad template to produce only one ad per group, you can specify the values in the ad multiplier. Else, you can leave it unspecified. However, it is always best to make sure that your template can handle different value possibilities. This is because not all ad groups have the same (or a single) product- they may have multiple with varying results for values specified.

Is it possible to create an ad template in Google Ads?

Yes, it is. Ad templates are a part of the features offered by inventory management in Search Ads 360, by which data from an inventory feed is used to automatically generate campaigns, text ads, ad groups, and keywords. It considers updates, too, so all newly-added data is also used to create the above as and when they come.

Inventory campaigns are beneficial when it comes to advertising products whose prices, stock numbers and other details change frequently. Ad templates also help; once you create a layout for an ad group, the values update automatically no matter how many times they change. Therein lies its most significant benefit.

Why do you need to create ad templates in Google Ads?

With four or five products, an advertiser can afford to change bids, values, and other details manually. However, most businesses have more than 5 products- way more, in the thousands. In cases like this, it’s crucial that products be segmented into product groups and ad groups. However, individual ads can’t be created for these products manually, nor can values be adjusted or updated every time there’s a change, which might even be daily. This is where ad templates shave a considerable amount of time off ad creation.

Here are the benefits of an ads template:

Benefit # 01: Set up one ad for an ad group.

Instead of going through every product and individually setting values, you can create an ad template with placeholders for values, which Google will then pull from your inventory and fill in per item.

Benefit # 02: Auto-update values.

Items with changing values like pricing, weight, stock number or others can be advertised using an ad template. With every update to an inventory, the template changes itself for that product and shows an up-to-date ad complete with the right details. This way, there’s no manual intervention or stale ads.

Benefit # 03: Track changes to templates.

There’s a handy feature called ‘Change History’ that allows you to look back on changes to campaign settings, ad groups, and templates over a certain period of time. The history list tracks the item changes were made to, what changes were made, and the type of change if applicable.

Benefit # 04: Reuse templates.

You can also use single ad templates as an ad group template. This is beneficial when you have similar products in one or more ad group where you can recycle a part or the whole of the ad copy. You just have to make sure that the data needed to make the ad copy more personal is available.

Benefit # 05: Change ad text using text parameters.

Once you’ve identified which ad template to reuse, the text parameters feature can dynamically change ad text for the new set of products. It does this by matching the ad group keyword with a user search query. Note that this ad format does not support an image file, so your text message must be compelling.

Benefit # 06: Choose types of search ads.

Before building an ad template, an advertiser needs to choose between standard, expanded and responsive text ads. Expanded text ads are a format that shows more information and details about the product than standard text ads. Responsive text ads use your provided ad copy, combined with machine learning, to pick the highest-performing versions that are then shown to your audience.

How to create the perfect ad template in Google Ads

Creating an ad template can be a tad complicated but its worth a shot if you have multiple products with varying values.

Method # 01: The default way:

These are the default steps laid out by Google to create the perfect ad template:

Step 1: Indicate the ad multiplier and add optional filters to generate ads for only specific items with one commonality.

Step 2: Key in your ad copy and destination URL to the landing page. These ad settings are the same as that of a manual campaign and include functions and formula columns.

Step 3: Enter text parameters if you want dynamically changing the text.

Step 4: Preview your settings to make sure the settings, targeted campaigns, display URL and values are correct.

Step 5: Once saved, your ad template will be paused.

Step 6: To activate it, change the status to ‘active’. This is when Google begins to display ads.

Method # 02: The AdNabu way:

To have an expert team of professionals create the ad templates for your products and ad groups, sign up for free on AdNabu. With years of expertise in creating and managing successful Google Shopping campaigns, the AdNabu team can help to craft the perfect ad template that is not only ideal for products in one ad group but is re-usable across ad groups. You can see a 30% and more increase in conversions from Google Shopping and search ads with killer ad copy.

What’s more, changing catalogs, sale seasons and discounts can change values of a product; AdNabu can help successfully manage these and generate ads for them automatically. The need of the hour in a-commerce is building ad campaigns that can adapt to changes; one such feature is the ad template, which AdNabu can help you generate.

Best practices in creating ad templates

Best Practice # 01: Preview ads.

After you’ve created your ad templates, Search Ads 360 displays a list of the first 50 campaigns with a preview of the ads. Use this time to carefully peruse each ad and ad group for issues in values, formulae or ad copy. This way, when you change the status to ‘active’, you will know your campaign is working fine.

Best Practice # 02: Harmonize with keyword templates.

Your ad template and multiplier need to match with the keyword you will generate for each ad group. If your ad group has different products but with one universal value, then your keyword should ideally be that value.

Best Practice # 03: Reuse templates.

Instead of creating single ad templates for ad groups, consider creating a handful of templates that you could use across groups. This reduces labor, efforts and time taken but also allows you to customize (with the help of text parameters) values for each product in different ad groups.

Best Practice # 04: Specify alternative headlines.

Sometimes, the automatic headlines generated may be too long or too clunky, in which case it will be considered invalid. To prevent this from skewing data, provide an alternative headline or template as a fallback in such scenarios. Keep it below 30 characters to play things safe. Similarly, for ad copy, specify some static descriptions to use if data is missing for some products. Your call to action must be strong.

Things to consider while creating template ads for Google Ads

Consideration # 01: Using text parameters.

Text parameters are used to change ad copy in an ad template dynamically. This must always be used in line with a keyword template or, at the very least, the keyword that applies to the ad group. Parameter values need to be added to a keyword template first, then to ad template settings as a part of the headline or description copy.

Consideration # 02: Maintain status settings.

When a new ad template is created, its default setting is ‘paused’ which needs to be changed to ‘active’ for the templates to start working. However, an ad based on a template is removed when all inventory items don’t appear on the feed anymore. You cannot re-activate a removed ad; instead, if an item from the inventory returns, a new ad is created with none of the old ad’s performance data.

Conclusion:

Successfully creating, managing and updating an ad template is not a herculean task but it does take a lot of Google Ads knowledge and previous marketing experience.

For businesses without the resources or technical know-how, it’s always best to get in touch with an expert company who can help navigate the confusing steps or even sort it all out for you in the back end. With this setup, you can get regular reports on how your Google Ads performance and consultations on results if you’re not sure what they mean. It goes without saying, finally, that template ads for eCommerce are a boon.

#Adnabu #eCommerce #Google Ads #adwords #Ad Templates

[dwtspd]

SYTYCD 16 Top 8 perform

Love me some district 78. Gino slayed that. Ah, so we’re having a travel theme. Each dance inspired by a different country or something like that. Oh boy, this will be 2 hours long?? I rather they have shorter episodes and eliminate 2 people every other week, let us know the dancers longer. Also that is less rehearsal for them each week which is more physically sustainable.

Plus, I record my episodes on an online DVR that tends to buffer a lot the longer episodes are...so its gonna take me like, 3 hours to get through this. Anna and Benjamin Tahitian dance: nice. Bit of stumble in the middle. Benjamin’s Long Limbs were an asset this time as he could accentuate the moves a lot. Whereas Anna would lose the hip and knee action once she had to travel. Don’t know what Nigel was going on about having seen a great Tahitian routine before therefore he couldn’t enjoy this. By that logic, he shouldn’t be able to even glance at the thousands of modern and contemporary bits on this show. 8/10 Sophie has very nice floorwork I’ll say. But I think I saw the same leg lift like 3 times in that solo Madison and Ezra hip hop: damn, that’s one way to enter the stage. I loved this dance and I think the dancers saw the choreographer’s vision through. They were very effortless and floaty in the slow parts but then the beat would drop and they would be hitting it hard. I thought both were good, dunno what the judges were on. 10/10 Is that my first ten of the season??? Insert some dwts gif here. Gino you are fantastic and all but please no more andra day Bailey and Mariah Cha Cha: aww he got her flowers. I like the theme and costuming of this dance. Oof, I wanted this to go better. Dimitry gave them a HARD routine. Bailey was...stiff? Like, he was visibly trying very hard and was stamping the ground really hard with his footwork. Lacked hip action but he had good body rolls. Props to him for doing all the tricks. Mariah has the best ballroom out of all the non-ballroom dancers. He gets her flowers every week!!!!!! They are adorable in a completely wholesome, platonic way. 8/10 Madison has a nice solo then Ezra has a fantastic solo!! That pirouette with his leg in second going into that spinning jump and landing into a roll. Except for his all red costume. You know I’m not a fan of those. I think it’s the red Cuban shoes I can’t get over. Maybe if he had a different colour I could get pass this look. Gino and Sophie contemporary: Gino can cook??? Important skills. Dear Evan Hansen! OH WOW. WOW. TAKE A BOW KC MANNING. if the show suddenly ended here I wouldn’t be mad, because this is the best dance ever. I love the use of the props, setting, and blocking. Holy crap Gino’s leaps...I swear he jumps Sophie’s height. Sophie had such lovely smooth transitions and turns. I like the choreography too. It had lots of technique but also some simple but memorable phrases. 12/10 Oh Mariah, I wonder how she gets her solos because they always feel emotionally disconnected. Benjamin and Anna Broadway: oh man, Anna has that lovely hairdo and dress but why did they give her those shoes? They made her feet look clunky. That said she looked pretty good despite that. I actually think one of her turns was better than Benjamin’s! They got all the nuances of a soft, elegant piece like this perfectly. 9/10 Madison and Ezra Argentine Tango: I’m confused, Madison said Ezra reps death but he is also “giving her little pieces of life” as she is dying?? Madison looked stressed in rehearsal and even Ezra a bit tepid. AT has a different feel from ballroom when you are doing it. Despite how scared they were this was actually a very good dance! They were both so sharp and precise. It might have been better if they had closer body contact, and Madison sometimes was hunching forward slightly. AT is HARD to learn though. 9/10 ps Ezra has decent guyliner. One of the better ones. I’ve had enough of rum boy run but I like the whole ancient warrior theme Benjamin had going on. And then Anna follows up with another piece of music I’m not a fan of. Bailey and Mariah contemporary: slide into your arms/DMs. There are so many innovative routines tonight! Wonderfully done and staged, and beautifully executed by the dancers. Bailey’s feet are as nice as Mariah’s. He is one of if not the best b boys at contemporary. Oh wow. I don’t want to see them apart either, Mary. 10/10 Gino and Sophie Jazz: another good one! This was such fun. Sophie got the character spot on. I feel like she got the mood of the dance more than Gino, though he was moving better (could blame Sophie’s pants though). Did they take out the hat trick (haha, hat trick, geddit? Cos Gino called it a soccer ball). D trix doing the tamale train lol. 9.5/10 Madison Mariah Ben Gino Contemporary: Another song that I’ve had enough of. Ugh. And I thought we were having such a good second half of the show. Okay, music aside, that was fine until they took the guys shirts off. What was the point of that? I felt random and gimmicky. Can’t believe I’m rating Talia Flavia this low. 5/10 Time for some results. Gino and Mariah are safe, so Benjamin and Madison are in danger. Anna Sophie Bailey Ezra Afrojazz: Hmm, I feel like this dance was very short? Like, I was just getting into it and then it ended. 7.5/10 Oh right, we’re we supposed to have a travel theme? I kinda forgot about that in the middle of the show. And the dances did too. Damn, 5 pieces in 6 days. Jeezus. Ezra is in danger again as is Anna. So Ezra or Benjamin, Madison or Anna... I feel like Ezra’s solo might have saved him this week although Nigel might have a soft spot for the broadway routine. Madison had a very strong night especially with that tango routine but Anna was lucky that the show was so long her weak showing in the opening Tahitian routine would have been forgotten by that point. The judges save Ezra. That’s two eliminations he’s survived now. I thought he’d be more popular. They save Madison too, so that pairing gets another week together.

So Anna and Benjamin are going home. I would have picked Ezra I’m a heartbeat, but I find this is a little harsh on Benjamin, who had a good night. And I feel like he had a very cool personality under that hooded-eyed, floppy haired, laid back exterior. That’s why we should have a TOP 20!!!!!!!! Or at least a longer season. This episode was SO. LONG. would have been better cut in two. Then we’d have these guys around for at least a 1 more week.

#sytycd #sytycd 16 #So You Think You Can Dance #EZRA SOSA #gino cosculluela #bailey munoz #benjamin castro #mariah russell #madison jordan #Sophie Pittman #anna linstruth

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

Notes on SPN 14.02

So! I saw 14.01 yesterday, which was for the most part, surprisingly, a blast, and since I have a bit of free time today I thought I’d keep a hold of the momentum and watch and liveblog 14.02 as well. I’ve heard it’s one of those Buckleming plot-a-paloozas, but I’ll try my best to provide semi-reasonable commentary instead of incoherent ranting.

Right. As always, typing this post up as I watch. SPOILERS for the episode ahead.

1. We start with a recap of last season’s finale, and Show, do you really want to remind us this many times about that wire-fight?

1.25. Show’s lore regarding possession has been dizzyingly inconsistent, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes to me that Nick is alive? Because Nick couldn’t actually house Lucifer for very long in s5—he was deteriorating, which was why Lucifer needed Sam so urgently. The last we saw of Nick, he was dead/dying in a dingy room in Detroit, when Lucifer jumped ship to Sam. Even if Lucifer assumed Nick’s visage in the Cage and afterwards when he was brought back, Nick-the-person with Nick-memories and Nick-feelings isn’t there anymore.

1.255. So what does this mean? Like, if this was explained away sometime over the last two seasons--I’m very sorry, I really wasn’t paying a lot of attention to large chunks of them—please let me know. If there’s no explanation, then has Lucifer disappeared inside a Nick-construct? Did he use a loophole to escape the worst of the Archangel Blade right at the moment Dean plunged it into his side? Lucifer was “human” for a while in s13, iirc. Did he have enough “human” to hide behind and recover? And has he filled that human with the memories/personality of one of the humans he knew best? Is it because he spent centuries assuming Nick’s body in the Cage that he’s most comfortable being him here?

… I don’t know. Maybe I’m missing something obvious, but, hey, it’s fun to speculate.

2. We start off with people artfully tied up in an artfully derelict church illuminated artfully by artful lightning.

… *groans* I hope we aren’t getting a torture scene already.

2.25. Well, Michael’s certainly chirpier than he was last episode.

2.5. Is he trying to make new angel minions, is that it, by feeding them blood and his grace? Leaving aside the lack of creativity in the mechanism, the whole thing kind of makes a weird sense. Michael is looking for those with purity of purpose—among religious leaders (and refugees, apparently), angels, and then finally monsters—and rejecting those ‘poisoned’ by nuance and experience and supposed sin. After all, no being whose wants are even slightly more complex than ‘food’ is going to be a perfect follower.

It also plays into his assholey, self-righteous personality and, well, god-complex.

(Dean would’ve appreciated this quest for pure purpose.)

3. There’s a kind of sitcom-y vibe to this little expository scene: Bobby talks shit about angels only for Castiel to walk in with a quirked eyebrow; the group talks about Jack and Lucifer only for Jack to walk in and go, “hey, you talkin bout my father again?”

(these are the tiny ways I feel SPN is at cross-purposes with its own theme of ‘found family’. Everybody’s obsessed with blood relations, to the point that Lucifer and Jack are constantly referred to as ‘father and son’ when there is no need to bring that relationship up. Last year, even Castiel referred to Jack while talking to Lucifer as ‘your son’ without any prompting from Satan. Words are so powerful, and so revealing.)

3.45. Castiel “as you know, Bob”-ing is hilarious. Oh, Buckleming.

3.5. Um, not to dismiss or compare Castiel’s considerable trauma at the hands of Lucifer, but is anybody going to acknowledge even once that Sam, who appears to have taken the brunt of caring for Nick so far, is also going to have trouble looking into his abuser’s face??

4. Nick continues to make no sense to me.

(I like little touches like Castiel telling him that he needs to remind himself to eat.)

4.5. I kinda like this scene, sue me. It makes sense to me that Nick would obsess over and over again about how he could’ve let himself say yes to Lucifer, although Lucifer is as old as time and had all the power in that situation. The ‘monster’ bit is a little too on-the-nose for me, but I like it. Really drives home what an intimate, horrifying violation possession is and how scarred and twisted it can leave the survivor who spirals down a well of undeserved guilt and self-loathing.

I wish Sam was the one talking to him now, or was at least present. He’d talked in the previous scene about how Nick was only ‘housing’ and deserved a chance to rebuild his life, and that hard-earned generosity of spirit would’ve been a balm to all three of them, I think.

5. ETA on the TOD, Bobby? *sporfle* Seriously though, I love this role-reversal: usually it’s Bobby who’s rolling his eyes at SamnDean’s eff-bee-eye shenanigans.

5.25. Ah, but where this Bobby has become an expert now is in telling the difference between smiting patterns!

5.5. I wonder if trying to appear non-threatening is just Sam’s default whenever he meets with, uh, ‘civilians’.

6. I really, honestly hate that the Bunker just happens to have ‘lore books’ on whatever the hell random question they’re having that day. I just kinda hate the Bunker in general, now that I think about it.

6.25. But doesn’t that ‘human component’ (lol) make a Nephilim strong enough to take down even archangels?

6.5. As pep talks go, that wasn’t bad. A few notes:

a) there’s an earnestness to the words that I’m sure that Castiel learned from Sam.

b) I think this is the first time that Castiel—or anybody—has referred to the events of 8.23 as “The Great Fall”. It’s interesting that it’s already gotten a name among angelkind and that Castiel would call it that, given how close he was to the events that led to it.

c) I want to both laugh and cry at Castiel’s assertion that Sam and Dean were there for him after he lost his grace. He was mostly left to fend for himself, obviously, but there’s no space for that in a pep talk.

d) Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Jack is actually just only a year old. Asking him not to dwell on something so… immediate is a tall ask.

7. Ok, so that was a nice snappy little counterpart to Lucifer-talking-to-Sam-in-the-mirror from the s5 finale. I like how Michael is blunt and matter-of-fact while Lucifer relished in the moment, bragged about how he’d had Sam’s number all his life, and seduced him with violent revenge. This is nice.

I don’t know, guys, I’m really enjoying this episode so far!

8. Sooooo Lucifer is residing in some subconscious layer of Nick’s mind? Is this PTSD shaped by his possession? Is Lucifer bleeding through his own construct? Are we going to find that it was actually Nick who killed his own family? (I think we are.)

8.2. Castiel looking for residual Lucifer in Nick reminds me of when he was doing the same for Sam re: Gadreel, and that reminds me of Dean’s ‘teen mom’ joke from that episode and now I’m pissed off.

8.5. Nick is fascinating, but is he fascinating enough that I care about his little revenge sub-plot? Eh. Jury’s out. Plus I just can’t stand the actor anymore

9. Sam’s just kinda there to move the plot along. Give him some more character moments, episode!

10. Michael reminded me of Dean in the scene with the werewolf. I’m really not getting a capital P personality from Michael, though that may be due to a personal choice. Or maybe because Michael was never a distinct character to begin with, and this is far more noticeable when Ackles plays it and ‘Dean’ threatens to take over any minute.

Or going meta for a second—maybe Michael’s deliberately infusing some Dean into his persona. Possession isn’t simply putting a thing inside a box: both entities are influenced and informed by the other, but only one has all the power.

11. … ok, so my interest in this Nick subplot is rapidly decaying. Nick did it. He killed his family. It’s not a mystery.

11.5. The emotional dynamics of this scene… checks out, actually. Of course Nick is projecting all his rage on Castiel. And of course Castiel regrets destroying Jimmy Novak’s life the most. More than toeing the party line and being instrumental in almost bringing the Apocalypse about in s4; more than releasing the Leviathan; more than trusting Metatron in s8; more than killing his brethren, who’ve tortured him back and tried to kill him on more than one occasion. But Castiel has been both angel and human—both possessing and being possessed—long enough that he’s intimately aware of the devastation it leaves both within and without. And there are no excuses for the way he and other angels have done that damage—so carelessly, so casually. Even the most well-intentioned angels are deceptive and manipulative and give not a second thought about their hapless vessels. It’s a sign of Castiel’s growth and compassion that he recognises his responsibility in this and that he invokes Jimmy’s name with both reverence and regret. In all this shouting and crying that Show doesn’t acknowledge the deep-seated trauma of possession survivors, this is actually a great moment.

12. That werewolf leader looks familiar. Has the actor been on SPN before? He kinda reminds me of one of the leads on Suits.

12.5. That’s a lot of clunky dialogue, but Michael is basically confirming what I speculated in point 2. Cool.

13. How Jack managed to get away and find his grandparents is never explained, but that’s a familiar Buckleming trope—characters are put together in a scene without any regard to how it might connect to other scenes or how/why those characters might’ve gotten there.

13.2. That said, it’s kinda poignant that Jack, having lost his angelic powers, is now trying to understand the human side of his heritage. He’s trying his best to adapt to his situation; this one year old kid is more well-adjusted than most of the adults on this show.

13.5. Well, holy shit, Jack talking about Kelly to his grandparents is just… making me feel emotional in a way this show hasn’t made me feel in a long, long time. This Calvert kid is good.

13.6. It is bizarre that Kelly’s parents are mostly ok with not knowing Kelly’s whereabouts for over a year—I don’t think we ever found out what position exactly Kelly held in the President’s office, and I can picture them in a bit of denial by telling themselves the reason they haven’t heard from Kelly is because she is in the middle of super-secret government work. I don’t know! But it’s just about handwave-able though, and their scene with Jack is worth it.

14. Honestly, Castiel, how did he travel so far and for so long without you noticing? So much for “Don’t worry, Sam, I will babysit this defenceless creature.”

(Speaking of Sam, wheeeerrreee’s Saaaaammmm)

“I suppose there are worse ways to be human than to be kind.”

“Have you heard from Sam?”

I LOVE YOU, JACK.

14.5. No, actually, Dean wouldn’t want it any other way. He said as much when Gadreel took over Sam completely back in s9.

15. Shoo, Nick.

16. FINALLY MORE SAM. With only like 4 minutes of episode left. What, Show, did you think you spoiled us too much last episode with all that glorious, glorious Sam content?

16.25. And finally a bit of action! The rapid-fire editing is making my head hurt, though.

16.5. Soooooooooooooo Dean’s back? Obviously Michael is playing a long game here, but it says something about the show that they can’t keep Dean away for more than two episodes without getting the shakes. I honestly miss Sera Gamble and her desire to rattle the status quo: in s6, she kept the so-called ‘real’ Sam away for half the season, which gave us imo some of the best storytelling, characterisation and acting from both Padalecki and Ackles in the entire show. In s7 she took away all the Winchester markers: the Impala, weird motel rooms, Bobby’s house. Of course, after she left the show settled back into a familiar rut (substituting Bobby’s house with that thrice-damned Bunker). I wish the show would take risks with these two again. s9 and the beginning of s10 were so very promising but there was no follow-through.

I guess they want to MotW fillers for a few episodes and that would be weird without SamnDean SamnDeaning it in the Impala, but Show, why don’t you just say ‘fuck it’ and try weird on for size? What do you have to lose? I mean, seriously?

17. Nick’s the murderer—called it!

18. This wasn’t terrible, you guys. 95% of the episode was just people sitting around having conversations, the dialogue was clunky, ideas derivative, scenes progressed without any rational links between them, the pacing was wonky, and there was too much exposition. But the emotional beats were solid and the set up is reasonably intriguing. I’ve seen far, far worse BuckLeming episodes.

Pacing is a real issue in this season, though. And Michael is not remotely intimidating as a threat.

#supernatural #season 14 #spn spoilers #sam winchester #castiel #michael #jack kline #meta #unpopular opinion: this ep was... pretty ok

[andrustara]

Premier League Fixtures | Sky Sports

Epl schedule tomorrow - EPL Fixtures This Weekend |

If you have the Premier League then your app should be pristine video quality. They have eye money and the resources. NBC Sports gets a little lazy with the video quality because they know that no other tv network in the United States has any plans to buy the rights to click at this page the PL anytime in the near future. Can somebody please teach the idiots at NBC about what full match stats are. This happens quite often.

She never persists and changes the subject or cuts to a commercial epl schedule tomorrow. How lucky are you guys!!! Due to the virus, soccer watchers are at the mercy of network TV. Fun at first but boring.

A second sighting could be most instructive. Also, when the League starts epl schedule tomorrow, why not run the words the fans sing across the bottom of the screen. Is that a good idea. Rex Hearn, 89, Manchester City supporter since 7. Surely after all these years some enterprising fan has collected them in book form to which epl schedule tomorrow may refer. We understand! Rex Hearn. Love that we have epl schedule tomorrow start of a fixture list.

Just wondering about your source? Hi Ian, epl schedule tomorrow clubs and NBC Sports as well as other media outlets wait until tomorros is officially announced before publishing the schedules. Thanks again. It says that it is on Telemundo in the official Premier League app and I am just wanting to make sure that it is true. Sometimes the official Premier League app has informative post wrong listings. Yes, the Peacock games on Sunday will be on Gold as shedule.

Brighton-Newcastle will be on Peacock and Gold also. Replays for tojorrow matches will be available after 9 pm ET. I tried the Gold this year, but never had enough discipline to not look up the scores until 9 pm. I will not sign up for package next season. In total, Peacock Premium will present more than 1, hours of Premier League live match schedul epl schedule tomorrow programming — the most robust offering epl schedule tomorrow available in the U.

Included are full-event replays for all matches on-demand after 9 p. Here in the U. IT makes it very easy to track your wagers, post the odds, track different sportsbooks to select the best odds. Do you know if there is anything like that published in the U. I would love to subscribe to it as it would make wagering on the games less time consuming and more enjoyable.

I would imagine if there is they also might publish for the German, and other Premier level leagues. Thanks for any help you can give me.

Sky Sports picks the games for their television broadcasts, which sometimes require approval from police scheduoe games that are derbies or matches that are considered to be more dangerous requiring additional police protection for fans. The process takes time. I blame all three of them because they have cheated a huge number of Premier soccer fans from a great deal of pleasure.

A pox on all three of these selfish organizations! They took it away, now you have to pay to get it? I think you call epl schedule tomorrow extortion!? At least this Saturday and Sunday I actually will get 3 each day; unless that changes between now epl schedule tomorrow then!!! Can epl schedule tomorrow find a phone number to call Peacock for live help? I mentioned before to very wary of giving them sdhedule credit card information.

EPL Fixtures This Weekend

Rip off artists. So apparently, if epl schedule tomorrow want to watch the reigning EPL champs, you need Peacock at the moment. Maybe in November I can watch Liverpool. Epl schedule tomorrow noticed that!!! A real shame. Like I tell everyone, it was fun while it lasted! Looks like Christopher Harris was right. NBC is screwing over its cable subs a bit more this year. Chris: thanks for the link.

I caution people again to be wary of this vendor. Do you want the shock epl schedule tomorrow being wrongly charged? The hassle of dealing with an organization that hides its phone number?

Whose chat line appears inoperative? Other contact info made difficult to obtain? Even the investigator writing up the case noted difficulty reaching them. Do you have the time and disposition to deal with such problems for such a poor service? Will report outcome. Obviously it looks e;l an error occurred with otmorrow experience. Many companies make it difficult epl schedule tomorrow find their phone number.

I already pay for Peacock Premium but, unlike every other non-HBO service, it is difficult to watch Peacock outside of the home. My friend has an old Roku and a Amazon fire stick, so the app is unavailable. And she is a Comcast customer. But if you are paying for it then it should be available wherever you want to watch it.

But NBC is making it very difficult for me to share my love tomorroww the game with others. A quick update on my Peacock tribulation. Good news. Thanks to Chris H.

The sign up process was clunky, user unfriendly, and I had no confirmation that it epl schedule tomorrow thru. So I tried again but this time more cautiously opting for visit monthly, as my confidence in Peacock ebbed.

Premier League TV schedule and streaming links

Bingo… access to the Prem! I received the monthly charge, but later also got charged for the whole year for the failed sign up. My error was that, in my initial frustration to get activated, I must schesule entered my email incorrectly. So they were also charging me for that service, feeding to nobody or someone lucky! It was epl schedule tomorrow result of a harried fan being careless out of frustration, but why not install a system that would require email validation?

Looks like Peacock Premium subscribers have been screwed over?? How greedy is that? Just using it to force in new Peacock viewers!! I hope they lose the next Premier League contract. I only say this because there are many epl schedule tomorrow cutters that hope this same thing happens — but only so they can actually watch a top level match like this one via schedle stream only service like Peacock. Not as long as providers know that their traditional cable networks still draw a significant revenue stream, yet also can do so via their separate stream-only service.

EPL is most watched euro soccer league in the US and any provider will do what they can to maximize their revenue possibilities. If you epl schedule tomorrow a later model of the Roku devices with their latest software you can screen mirror to epl schedule tomorrow Roku. You then control the start and end of the game from your iPad but the video and sound comes from your TV.

I Have just bought a gen6 IPad and maybe this will do better. tomrorow pay for Peacock Premium on my old pad, how do I get to install epl schedule tomorrow on my new one without having to pay twice? Rebecca You should definitely be able to see an option to just login to Peacock app with your current profile do not sign up again epl schedule tomorrow the new iPad so helpful site to not be epl schedule tomorrow. Rebecca since Peacock allows multiple streams at the epl schedule tomorrow time your old iPad installation will not epl schedule tomorrow you from installing the app epl schedule tomorrow the Apple App store and than being charged again.

Just install the app and provide login credentials like email address and password. As far as your freezing problem is concerned it could be that your WiFi connection to the iPad is not very good. Make sure that your WiFi connection is excellent 5 bars. Other users did complain that Peacock does buffer the stream too many times to their liking.

So distinguish between buffering and freezing, epl schedule tomorrow will show a twirling circle. I always have to make sure not to connect to my Scyedule 5GHz epl schedule tomorrow as somehow that one is not as good as my 2. If I pay for the product I should be able to access the epl schedule tomorrow whenever I want to, how I want to and at a time that best suits me.

LTx In other topics here it was hotly debated what you mentioned. Several factors contributed to the lack of features in the Peacock App. There was no clear strategy how to present to the tomodrow the games as is evident by the dividing the matches between NBC, NBCSN and Peacock and than again a change in strategy by dropping games from the On-Demand Peacock streaming.

It all reeks a bit of an amateurish approach. Liverpool v. Now I am paying for less??? Makes you dizzy trying to figure it out each week. There is an error on the scheduling. On Sunday the 7th you show Wolverhampton v. Leeds and on Monday the 8th you show Leeds v. Crystal Epl schedule tomorrow. As s Leicester City fan I was miffed there was no game scheduled so went to their site and see they are epl schedule tomorrow to play Sunday v.

Otherwise keep up the good work! Man City game on Peacock will have spanish comm by the Telemundo crew epl schedule tomorrow for the first time. Life, for me, is more complicated with Peacock streaming more of the big games. Do the brave thing everyone and cancel Peacock! Then they will blog epl schedule tomorrow implement a scheeule model.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Competition: Schedulr League. Saturday, April 10 am EDT. Free Trial. Browse Offers. Rex Hearn January 21, Vasil February 22, Dave L May 13, Jack July 2, Payasos February 23, Chris March 23, Rex Hearn August 7, I love your humor,! Rex Hearn 88, City fan since 7!! Sam May 29, Bruce Duffy February 17, I totally agree with Rex. FIX IT!!!! Echedule Eaker March 8, Tom March 15, Christopher Harris March 15, Mike August 12, Is there epl schedule tomorrow venue that allows for subscription?

Thank You. Mike Borelli. Christopher Harris August 13, Doc March 25, Azer March 26, JP March 26, Doc March 28, Burnley 0 0 West Ham United. Chelsea 0 0 Fulham. Crystal Palace 0 0 Manchester City. Everton 0 0 Aston Villa.

Manchester United 0 0 Liverpool. Newcastle United 0 0 Arsenal. Southampton 0 0 Epl schedule tomorrow City. Tottenham Hotspur 0 0 Sheffield United. West Bromwich Albion 0 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers. Arsenal 0 0 West Bromwich Albion. Aston Villa 0 0 Manchester United. Fulham 0 0 Burnley. Leeds United 0 0 Tottenham Hotspur. Leicester City 0 0 Newcastle United. Liverpool 0 0 Southampton. Manchester City 0 0 Chelsea.

Sheffield United 0 0 Crystal Palace. West Ham United 0 0 Everton. Wolverhampton Wanderers 0 0 Brighton and Hove Albion. Burnley 0 0 Leeds United. Everton 0 0 Sheffield United. Crystal Palace 0 0 Aston Villa. Manchester United 0 0 Tomorrod City. West Bromwich Albion 0 0 Liverpool. Chelsea 0 0 Arsenal. Newcastle United 0 0 Manchester City. Southampton 0 0 Fulham. Tottenham Hotspur 0 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Brighton and Hove Albion 0 0 Manchester City. Burnley 0 0 Liverpool. Epk 0 0 Leicester City. Crystal Palace 0 0 Arsenal. Everton 0 0 Wolverhampton Liverpool full match highlights этом. Manchester United 0 0 Fulham. Newcastle United 0 0 Sheffield United. Southampton 0 0 Leeds United. Tottenham Hotspur 0 0 Aston Villa.