#sorry I've been left alone with my own thoughts a bit too much ever since my headphones died

[supernovaa-remnant]

humans are really really complicated. so are interpersonal relationships. they're really messy, too.

and, I know this. of course I know this. and it's such a fun topic to explore in literature and fiction. to write and read about. the little nuances and sharp edges to people and their connections.

but, it's really really messy in real life. it's something I love to explore in narratives (I love to explore many things in narratives, to be honest), but when it comes to reality, I find myself more.. confounded.

there's a purpose to messy relationships in fiction. there's a purpose to everything in a story, and that gives it a sense of order. in reality, though, it just.. happens. it's just a fact of life.

people are unique individuals who have their own sets of morals and beliefs and will, inevitably, have their own moments of hypocrisy. and this will mean that they will never perfectly wholly agree with every aspect of another's beliefs, I think. sometimes it's simpler—little disagreements of food or other preferences. sometimes it's bigger.

and people clash. and people all have their own reality. their own perceptions of the world. their own perceptions of each other. and everyone has their own wants and needs and desires and ideas of how the future should be how they want their future to be. and that clashes. sometimes it clashes with people they love.

what do you do? what if it's something big? do you use an act of hypocrisy and go against your own morals? do you drop the friend all together? do you try to find middle ground? and your answer to these questions would change depending on the circumstance. which friend? what was the disagreement? which morals are brought into question? what if they don't agree to the middle ground?

I've softblocked people for putting neg posts abt my interests on my fyp on instagram. but I wasn't that close to them. I used to be, but years upon years stretch in between. so much can change. another person put that same kind of neg on my fyp. she's a new connection. less close, but still tangible in my real life. she lives in the same building as me. I scroll past the posts she's liked and do nothing about it.

I have friends who dislike people I like. if they were practically strangers who followed me on instagram, maybe I'd softblock them, too. but they're not. I love them. I've loved them for years. I will continue to love them. some random youtuber I've never met won't change that.

and they also respect my interest. respect my view point. their reasons for dislike aren't that harsh, anyway. but even if they were, I love them. I'd stay friends. it's normal to have disagreements like that. it's easy. it's part of being human.

if you had a friend who continually cheated on their partners, what would you do? that's far more extreme than a difference in opinion about some person neither of you know. cheating is a serious thing. it's a hurtful thing. what do you do? do you bite your tongue? do you warn their future partners of their tendencies? do you cut them out of your life?

that seems specific. it's not something applied to me. it's something I'm.. observing, you could say. I used to know her well. as really young children. again as middle schoolers. we grew apart in our high school years and went to separate universities.

she wished me happy birthday on instagram.

my sister has gotten closer to her again. it baffles me, a bit, how easily my sister talks about this once-mutual friend cheating on her most recent boyfriend. maybe I'm not involved enough to understand. maybe I don't quite grasp humanity to understand. why not bring it up? why not talk about it? why not do something about it? especially if it goes against your own morals so clearly.

people are confusing. confounding. muddled and messy and imperfect. and I think sometimes I get too stuck in viewing things as a narrative. narratives are easy, you see. they're easy to craft easy to understand. they exist adjacent to reality, and that's a space I find myself inhabiting quite a lot.

my close friends are good people. they wouldn't cheat. they wouldn't kill. one has stolen from a big corporation once (tentatively on accident?) but, to be fair, it was very funny and led to an inside joke between the entire group.

we have differences of opinion on the death penalty, I think. prison, too. those are pretty big moral standings. and, yet, there's still an air of separation. what will us talking through it in the late hours of the night in our friend's media room really impact? going back and forth with all sorts of deep philosophical and moral debates is just something we do.

but what if they hurt someone? well, everyone hurts someone. everyone hurts people. it's inevitable. it's part of being human. we're all just accidentally stepping on toes and apologizing and doing our best to navigate it all.

what if they hurt someone on purpose? they wouldn't. I know them. they wouldn't.

but that's not the point. the point is to question how far can my own morality can stretch for the people I love. it's messy. it's confusing. maybe it's hypocritical.

humans are messy. and we like to place clean cut blame when we get hurt. but we also hurt others. and sometimes it's viscous and the anger is a defense from the pain.

we played a game. truth or dare. is there anyone you'd stop being friends with if it wouldn't cause drama within a friend group? no. sometimes they feel like they don't want to be friends with someone at that moment, but not permanently. it's interesting. it's fascinating. it's something I want to reach out to grab, to examine.

I'm not sure I fully understand it. I think I do. some days. sometimes. maybe I've felt it myself.

humans are really really messy. we hurt and get hurt and we're all just trying to make it through this okay and with connections. it's easy to exist in a vacuum. it's more complicated when other people come into play. but it's so so important, I think. it's just part of being human.

#long post #sorry I've been left alone with my own thoughts a bit too much ever since my headphones died #also not sure if this made any sense #I was rambling in my mind whilst playing mc parkour #so I came to do the rambling here instead #I'm not sure if I fully finished any thoughts #but it's stuff I've been thinking about #stella rambles #stella contemplates #<- yeah that's a fun tag I think #will be for my long philosophical posts

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 12 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Asking your friends for help when you need it is starting to feel good instead of scary. Even listening to Cat open up doesn't sting like it once did. Bradley starts to have an ominous feeling about his upcoming mission, and when the details are revealed, he's left wondering what his career will be like in the future.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff

Length: 4400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

There was truly something to be said for the way you felt after you talked to Dr. Genevieve. Even though your period was a few days late, and you had been holding out hope, you didn't go quite to pieces when it did end up starting. Sure, there were some tears as you opened up a new box of tampons, but you didn't dwell on it as much as you had the past several cycles in a row. 

In fact, when you thought you couldn't take the physical pain of your cramps and the mental pain as well, you called Maria. You told her that you didn't want to be alone and asked if she could stop by. And she came over with a backpack and some donuts. 

"What's in the bag?" you asked as you bit into a Boston cream. 

"Clothes for tomorrow," she replied, petting Tramp while she ate a chocolate donut with sprinkles. "I figured I could sleep over."

"You don't have to," you whispered, now feeling a little embarrassed. 

But she just shrugged. "I've been a little lonely, too. My new roommate has never been as fun as you were."

"Nobody is," you added, biting into a second donut. You figured you earned it, since you'd started to get back on track with what you were eating. "Thanks for joining me in the cafeteria at work."

"Thanks for actually coming to lunch. Cam is hella boring to eat with every day."

You groaned and headed for the couch with a bottle of wine. "Ugh, I left you hanging with Cam. I'm sorry." You were going to be better about taking care of everything. Yourself, your marriage, Bradley, and your friends. 

Maria just laughed and followed behind you with two glasses and a corkscrew. "I love him, but he's still a dude. And just inherently dumb. He can't help it."

The girl talk ended up spiraling into a great weekend, and when you went to work on Monday morning, you still felt good. And Bickel had been a saint, not acting weird or giving you too much distance at all since you broke down hard in his office. Sure, maybe he was asking you how you were feeling with a little more frequency, but he kept your workload the same and never questioned anything you handed in to him.

And then there was Cat. Since you kind of blew the Jake thing up in her face, she'd been very quiet. Jake was still claiming nothing was going on now, but you'd never have been able to get an answer out of Cat one way or the other. And now you were thinking maybe you should have just minded your own business. Because Jake seemed melancholy, and he hadn't actually ended things himself even after he learned about Uncle Hondo. 

"Good morning," you said to Cat later in the week when you walked into the lab. She seemed surprised you were greeting her.

'Hi," she responded, slipping back into her usual state of calm immediately. "If you're about to ask about the calculation set, I'm almost done. I just need another hour or two."

"No rush," you replied. "Um, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to join me for lunch today?"

She eyed you skeptically. "In the cafeteria?"

You shrugged. "Or my office?"

When Cat didn't respond right away, you wanted to kick yourself. But then she said, "I feel like you and I just keep getting off to bad start after bad start with each other. I'd like to eat with you, but I don't want to go down to the cafeteria. At all. Just looking at Lieutenant Seresin makes me want to hide."

"Care to elaborate?" you asked cautiously. 

She just smirked. "Sure. Over lunch. In your office."

---------------------------

Bradley had stripped down to his underwear and gym shorts, and he was currently trying his hardest to meditate on his bed. Bob had spent the last several weeks patiently trying to explain to him exactly what went into it, but Bradley would reach a state of calm and then inevitably get distracted. 

He cracked his eyes open to see Bob in a state of complete relaxation on his own bed. Something about this just didn't work as well for him, and his brain was buzzing, so Bradley reached for his notebook instead. There were too many things he wanted to write down. It felt like he wasn't going to be able to stop emptying out all of his feelings now that he started, and after several weeks, the notebook was mostly full. 

The desire to be at home was overwhelming. Thinking about eating homemade Marry Me Rooster with his wife perched on his lap was all that was getting him through this deployment. As soon as he was home, he'd make sure you knew exactly what you meant to him. There were no conditions on his love, and he was embarrassed and crushed that maybe he made you think there were. 

He only had a few more weeks to go. But things with the mission were looking abysmal. Slayer and Charmer were getting worse to deal with by the day, and the way the admirals praised them was beyond ridiculous. Like the shiny, new aviators were somehow better than the ones with more experience. Like Bradley, Nat and Bob couldn't keep up now. It was hard to keep believing that the admirals would actually put the best team together to complete the mission. 

"Wow," Bob suddenly said, stretching his arms over his head and removing his glasses. "That was a great session."

"Yep," Bradley agreed, nodding as he scribbled in the notebook. "Really good, Bob."

But the other man was already pulling the bedding up to his shoulders, and Bradley knew he'd be asleep soon. "Good for you," he muttered, returning to his notebook. 

Nat and Bob were so good to him, this deployment should have been a breeze. And it had improved since he got to talk to you over facetime in the commanding officer's quarters, but he thought he'd go ahead and start a countdown in the notebook anyway. Just eighteen more days until he should be arriving back in San Diego. And he was hoping like hell he would get to call you again before then. 

But a few days later, he still hadn't been selected for another facetime session. And Bob and Nat got called out onto the tarmac after dinner for a repairs inspection that was performed on their Super Hornet. So Bradley headed to the gym for a workout by himself, and the room was thankfully fairly empty. He put in his ear buds and got out his phone. He selected the playlist you made for him last year called This is what a gym playlist should sound like, Bradley and he smiled. 

Pretty soon he was sweating, working his way through some bicep curls, when he saw Slayer out of the corner of his eye. He would ignore him. No problem. Only two weeks left to go. Only a few more days until the mission. "Do not engage," Bradley muttered to himself. 

But of course he couldn't control what Slayer decided to do, and the idiot wandered over toward him. And then he snatched his phone off of the bench, and Bradley was on his feet immediately, still clutching the fifty pound dumbbell in his left hand. 

"What the hell do you want?" Bradley asked, plucking one ear bud out. "It's bad enough I have to see you in the classroom all day."

Slayer just laughed, and Bradley realized he was staring at his lock screen. "Just wanted another look at your wife. How much younger is she, old man? She got a grandpa fetish or something?"

Bradley's fingers tightened around the dumbbell, and he wished he'd given more of an effort to meditating with Bob. 

He was seething. And then Slayer asked him, "You know what? Why don't you just give me her number so I can keep her warm next time you're out of town?"

Bradley had to fight the urge to throw the dumbbell at him. "You talk an awful lot for someone so stupid."

"And you strut around like you own the place for something who can barely fly."

Bradley's blood was boiling now. The admirals had pumped these kids so full of bullshit, there was going to be no arguing with him. Instead he snatched his phone out of Slayer's hand and pocketed it. "And you're slow as shit versus an old man. Now get back to your bunk, it's almost curfew for the children."

Slayer smirked at him as he backed away toward an empty weight bench. "Just wait. You'll see."

--------------------------

You had made it this far, you could make it two more weeks. But you got your period again, right on time. And you knew it was ridiculous to get choked up when you had to get the tampons and pads out again, because Bradley wasn't even home. You hadn't had intercourse since he left six weeks ago. You knew there was no way. But just the idea of knowing another cycle was ending had tears stinging behind your eyes. 

When you heard the doorbell, you quickly washed your hands and rushed out to where Tramp was practically howling at the front door. "Chill out," you told him. "You'll be happy. You loved him last time."

"Hi," Cat said as soon as you opened the door, and you saw Hondo pull away in his green Chevy. Jeremiah was in her arms, and once again, he smiled when he saw you. Things at work were a lot better, including having several nice conversations with Cat.

"Sorry, little guy," you said softly as they came inside. "No Rooster this time."

Cat laughed. "I think your dog will suffice. He loves animals."

When you closed the door, you watched Tramp follow them over to the couch, and then he started licking Jeremiah's little hands nonstop while the baby laughed. "If he's annoying, I can put him out back for a bit."

"No," Cat said as she and her son both laughed. "This is great." And then Jeremiah broke free from her arms and stood with both hands on Tramp. And you swore your dog had never been happier either. 

A little pang of sadness struck your heart as Tramp looked all too delighted at the attention he was being given. You were searching for a safe topic of conversation. Cat had been joining you for lunch on occasion, which was great. But now you found that you had so many friends, you needed to juggle your time with them. Cam and Cat were a little awkward around each other. And Cat wouldn't tell you exactly how she felt about Jake, but you knew Jake was sad and Cat was avoiding him.

So you asked her, "You still feel like hiding from Jake at work?" It seemed like a safe enough topic, and you almost laughed when she covered her face and collapsed dramatically against the arm of the couch. 

"Please! You keep asking me about this!"

"I'm curious by nature," you claimed. "And you never really told me anything."

She glanced at you as Jeremiah went crawling across the floor after Tramp. "I'm still embarrassed that I even kissed him in the first place. Uncle Bernie and I had it out several times about all the push ups, but he was just trying to take care of me. And I know that sounds like an excuse, but... keeping someone like Jake away from me is probably his top priority while Jer and I are living with him."

You tried to keep your composure, because you and Cat seemed to finally be getting along, but you just couldn't understand why she wouldn't give Jake a chance for real. "He's a good guy, Cat. God... I can't even tell you how many times he's helped me out and made me feel safe."

She turned to face you where you sat at the other end of the couch. "He's exactly like my ex husband. A cocky, handsome aviator who is too smart for his own good."

You shrugged and kind of nodded, because that definitely sounded like Jake. "Well whatever your ex did to piss you off, I doubt Jake would be the same. Are you afraid he won't accept Jeremiah?"

She swallowed hard. "I'd rather not even find out where he stands on his opinions about my son. And listen, there's a reason why my ex husband never met Jeremiah. And it's the same reason I never let him know our son's social security number or where we ran off to. I'm sure he has a hunch that I was able to transfer to Top Gun, but Mike is definitely too scared to come sniffing around for more while I'm with Bernie."

You shook your head in confusion. "Come sniffing around for more of what?"

"Money," she said simply, but her jaw was set, and she looked ready for a fight. And you should have probably known all along that there was more than what she had told you over the past few months. You were pretty sure you were the only one who even knew about Jeremiah, besides Bradley and Cam. And if Cat was the type of person who took their time opening up to people, you were surprised that you were the one she was talking to about this.

"He wants your money?" you asked softly. 

Since she borrowed your car, you knew she didn't have one, and she said that she was broke. But your jaw dropped open when she said, "Mike was dishonorably discharged from the navy for showing up to work drunk and drinking while on base. He tanked his own career, and nobody in Annapolis could even look at me the same after that."

"Why would he do that?"

She laughed, but she looked like she was going to cry. "Because I told him I was pregnant."

Jeremiah was laying on his back now while Tramp licked his neck, and he was giggling up a storm. "I'm so confused," you told her. "He didn't want you to get pregnant?"

"Well he told me he would be happy to have kids. But by the time I told him I was pregnant with Jer, he had already opened four credit cards in my name. He had already lost all of our savings. And he knew I was going to find out about all of it as soon as I mentioned us opening a bank account for our unborn child."

"Oh."

When she met your eyes, she shook her head. "He has a gambling addiction." You watched as she wiped at her cheek. "I used to own a beautiful house," she said, glancing around longingly. "I had a car. He and I had money saved. But he managed to lose all of it, plus the credit card advancements in my name. I owe more than half a million dollars in money that I didn't spend. Money that I never saw. And that doesn't include what I've paid to my lawyers. Mike did all of that while I thought we were building a life together."

"Holy shit," you whispered. You felt nauseous just thinking about it. And you were suddenly even more thankful for Bradley.

"So yeah... cocky, headstrong aviators might be my type on paper, but I can't get involved. And I'm sorry I was leading Jake on. But, it's not just him. I can't get serious with anyone when my life is a trainwreck that I will never be able to recover from. I'm going to be spending the rest of my life trying to make sure this doesn't all fall to him," she said, nodding toward where Jeremiah was now crawling back toward the couch with Tramp following right behind him.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I don't know what else to say except that you didn't deserve any of that, and neither did Jeremiah."

She reached down to scoop him up into her arms as he yawned. "Yeah well, I hope you're smarter than me. I hope you had a prenup."

You sat quietly and watched as she kissed Jeremiah's forehead and reached into the diaper bag she brought with her so he could eat some cereal. Cat had been honest with you. She told you months ago that she was jealous of you, and now you knew why. You had all these things that you were taking for granted. 

For some reason, you thought she ought to know that you'd been jealous all along, too. "You still have something so good though. Something I wish I had."

She looked at you like you'd completely lost it while Jeremiah ate some Cheerios. "What? A marriage that ended in shambles and a career that is hanging on by a thread? Or the inability to ever have someone take you seriously in a relationship ever again?"

"No. Jeremiah."

She looked at you, and her face dropped. "Oh." And maybe she realized that meant you and Bradley had been trying unsuccessfully, but you changed the subject before she could ask any questions. 

"But that doesn't matter, really. And you know, there are some things we do have control over here."

"Like what?" she asked, and when you smiled softly, she smiled back.

"Jake. I think you might be surprised by him, Cat. I think he'd be good with Jeremiah."

"No," she replied right away. "I'd rather not even find out. Besides, it's already too late with Jake. Even if he was going to stop sleeping around, it's done. He asked me out at least fifteen times. And I said no at least fifteen times."

"If he asked you out again, would you say yes?"

You jumped several inches when your doorbell rang again, and Tramp ran for the door like he was a professional guard dog. "We didn't even order a pizza yet," you said as you stood. But the closer you got to the door, you thought you knew who it must be, and you answered it anyway.

"Angel," Jake drawled, bending to pet Tramp who immediately turned into a puppy again at the prospect of pets from one of his favorite people. "Just thought maybe you'd want to get dinner and head to the Hard Deck later?"

When you didn't respond right away, Jake pushed the door open wider and let himself inside. Then you watched him freeze up as he saw Cat sitting on your couch with Jeremiah in her arms. "Cat."

She looked absolutely mortified as she stood up, but she had nowhere to go. She was reliant upon Hondo coming back to pick her up, and Jake was staring right at Jeremiah. "Jake," she said so softly, you could barely hear her across the room.

He huffed out a short breath and ran his fingers through his hair, past the scar on his forehead from the last time he was deployed with Bradley. You weren't sure what you should do, but then he simply said, "You have a kid."

Cat's chin was in the air again, and you knew she wouldn't let Jake or anyone else say one negative thing about that child without consequences. "His name is Jeremiah."

"Jeremiah," Jake repeated, and two sets of matching dark eyes were looking right at him before Jeremiah yawned and fell asleep on his mom's chest. "He's adorable."

Cat sank slowly down so she was sitting on the couch once again, and she looked like the fight was gone, almost like she was exhausted now. You nudged Jake in the ribs and then reached for Tramp's leash where it hung near the door. "I'll be right back. Just going to take him out." But nobody was listening to you. Once the leash was clipped on his collar, Tramp pulled you out onto the front porch. You caught one last glimpse of Jake taking up residence in the spot on the couch you'd vacated, and then you closed the door.

You puttered around the yard with Tramp before deciding to just walk him down to the beach and back. But the early spring air was chilly when the wind picked up across the sand, and you wished you'd taken a minute to grab Bradley's sweatshirt from the hook as well. 

Playing a comparison game in your mind would get you nowhere, you knew that. Everything Cat told you was completely fucked up, but she had to know how that Jeremiah was worth it. And you knew that Bradley was enough, even if it was just the two of you. But now you were a little worried about Jake putting his foot in his mouth. 

When you hustled back down your block, shivering as the breeze picked up some more, you saw that Jake's car was still in your driveway. And when you cautiously let yourself back inside with Tramp, you found Cat and Jake sitting very close together on the couch. And Jake was holding Jeremiah while he slept.

-------------------------

Bradley knew it would be a short call. The mission was scheduled for a few days from now, weather depending. But if he was allowed even five minutes with you, he'd take it any day of the week. 

When you answered his facetime call, you were sitting in your office with your lunch in front of you. "Roo!" you gasped, dropping your fork into your burrito bowl. "I miss you!"

"I miss you, too, Sweetheart."

He watched as you turned to someone off screen and said, "Okay, thanks."

"Who are you eating lunch with?"

"Cat," you replied quickly, and he was a little surprised by that answer. "She just stepped out into the hallway so we could talk. Please tell me you'll be home on time, Bradley."

He smiled and said, "Haven't been notified of any changes, so I think so. Please tell me you got plenty of hot sauce in there."

You laughed and tipped your lunch so he could see all of the green hot sauce. "Absolutely. You know how I like it."

"I do," he replied softly as he examined your face. Beautiful. Just gorgeous. And you looked so much happier now. You looked like you'd been sleeping better. 

"I wish I was sharing my lunch with you."

He nodded. "I've been thinking a lot about our dining room. And how it feels so good to hold you on my lap while we eat a meal off of one plate."

You gasped softly. "I've been thinking about that too." When your eyes drifted closed, you added, "And how you wrap your left arm around me and kiss my neck while he eat."

"Baby Girl." His voice was raspy, and he was aching to be with you right now. "We'll do everything." 

But he only had one more minute with you, and he wanted to know how you were doing. When he asked, you said, "I can tell you when you get home. Tell me about the mission."

"I can't say much. Teams get selected tomorrow morning. Flight is weather dependent. You know the drill."

"I do. I just want you to be safe," you told him softly. "Need you to come home."

"I'll be there so soon. I love you."

And after that, he still felt so good as he got to the classroom a few minutes early the next morning. Admiral Dean smirked at him as he took his usual seat, and the room started filling up. Other than the fact that he had to stare at the back of Slayer's head, he was ready to get this mission in the air and get home.

"As you well know," Admiral Dean started, "the final details will not be set in stone until the day of the mission. So we are left with two options, and we need to be clear on both of them. Option A: the two teams will fly in formation and strike the communications tower first before proceeding to the enemy base. This is the preferred option as we would be removing multiple streams of communication first, but we may need to switch to an alternate flight path if they have too many aircrafts in the air. So that brings us to Option B, in which you will strike the base first and then loop around to the communications tower."

Bradley's brain was literally numb from listening to this information over and over again. He understood the importance of what needed to be done, but this was overkill now. When he glanced at Nat, she looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep. Until Dean spoke again.

"If there are no questions, that brings us to team selections. Four aircrafts will be flying this mission. We've chosen the best, and I am already convinced of the success of this mission. The teams will be as follows: Slayer will be paired with Phoenix and Bob."

His heart sank. Shit. That was supposed to be Bradley's pairing. Fucking Slayer. But it probably didn't matter too much if he was flying alongside a different two-seater, just as long as he was in the air with his friends. Really, all four aircrafts were responsible for keeping each other safe, so he wouldn't be too far from them at all. 

"And the second team will be Charmer paired with Terror and Mack."

It took a second to register. But slowly, it seemed like everyone in the room was turning to stare at Bradley. Admiral Dean looked smug. Nat and Bob looked distraught. And Slayer looked damn near delighted. Then Charmer turned to him and laughed. 

And Bradley had the fleeting thought that his career was over. He was the oldest aviator in the room by a few years. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was falling short with proving himself in the air just as he had been messing things up on the ground with you. And that sick, embarrassed feeling in his stomach was there to stay as all those thoughts took up permanent residence in his mind.

-----------------------------

Oh. That stings. That really hurt my feelings. Bradley could fly circles around them. And how do we feel about Jake? Cat? Jeremiah? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 13

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[vanillasann]

His World, Your World

Pairing: Venti x gn!reader

Genre: Angst <3

Summary: He loves his nation and you just almost as much. For Mondstadt is his world and he'd do everything he could to protect it. Even if it costs his life. So when you have to choose between his death or his nation's, he begs you to choose his. But will you?

TW: Major character death (u), but nothing too graphic. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are many grammar errors! <//3

Note: I've been dying to write something since last, last, last year/? but my lazy ass is stronger than me. This draft has been in here for a year. But oh, well, at least I write something now. I've always loved 'Which would he choose? You or the world?' trope and also inspired by a fanart I saw months ago; Venti hates you because you chose him over Mondstadt, but sadly I forgot their username-.

It's not a secret for anyone to know the fact that Mondstadt is Venti's home. It won't even be an overstatement to say that Mondstadt is his world.

For him loving it oh so much; even greater than he value his own life. For it was what his friends had always been wanted. For it was what his friends had been fight for.

He loves it dearly with all of his heart. He loves the people in it; his people, his children. He loves the freedom his nation has. And for it, he'll do anything he could to protect it. Even if the cost that he must pay is his life.

What to lose? I am but an archon that has long ago left my nation anyway. They'll be just alright without me, he thinks.

There are so many words that could describe Venti. He is a God. An Archon. An immortal being. A cheerful person that is allergic to cats. A drunkard bard. But never even in his mind that he'd ever could be described as a lover.

A lover who loves his partner passionately. A lover who cares so much about his partner's well-being. A lover who will go out of his way to comfort and cheer them whenever the world gets too mean towards them. A lover who vows to his partner that he'll protect them with everything he has.

Venti knows that he's rather friendly with all his acquaintances. Yet he never thought about even the possibility of him falling in love with someone, let alone a mere mortal being, for he is an archon.

At least that's what he thought. Until he met you.

You, who make his heart thump like crazy, feels like knocking hazardly in his chest. You, who make his day a bit more brighter just by getting a thought of your voice calling his name. You, who make him smile like a drunk man even when he hasn't chugged any bottle of Diluc's dandelion wine. And you, who make him addicted of your all.

He tried to shrug it off as his form of interest towards you. Nothing big, just a little crush that will wilt over time, he thought back then. But that little crush was and is still growing wildly every time he spends his day with you. Making a flower garden that he himself can't seem to get rid of, for he has gotten fond of these feelings.

He cherished every moment he has with you, whether it's just strolling around Windrise or visiting Diluc with Kaeya. Whether it's mundane things like joking and making a fool of himself just so he can hear a chorus of your laughter he so adore or a pretty night when he asks you to join him to stargazing in Starsnatch Cliff.

He loves you so much that he even drinks wine less just so he can spend more time with you. He loves you so much that he writes songs about you so that the world knows how amazing you are that even an archon fell head over heels for you.

He loves you and his nation just almost as much; with all of his heart, with everything that he has. That he'd sacrifice anything else if it means he could keep his nation and you safe.

So when you are faced with a big choice that had to be made, he pleads- no. He begs you to choose his doom.

While Venti is a lover who yearns nothing but to spend a lifetime with you, his love, he also is Barbatos, an archon of a nation. He couldn't imagine his life if you'd choose him over his nation, his world.

He begs and cries and sobs to you while clings like you are his lifeline.

Who you are to decline his pleas?

But while you understand his position, you couldn't help but feels like he's selfish. Oh so selfish to sacrifice himself so no one would die. Because while yes, everyone might just be alright, but- what about you?

You who had loved him so much, too much in fact, that you'd choose his life over yours, even over the world, for he was yours. You who had given him everything you had and gave in to his every whim and plea every single day without fail. You, who can't even think about your life without him and his laughter.

And Mondstadt will not last that long without him anyway, you tried to justify yourself in front of a mirror silently. Blank stare at your broken state reflection.

But the flashes of his dying heart and broken scream and tear-stained face of sorrow, because he lost his nation, make your stomach churn and tighten your chest that you can't draw even shallow breath. A realization hit you; He couldn't live without his nation, and vice versa.

That much is what you need to know to make the decision. You clean yourself as much as you can and go to make it.

Underneath the sunset glow and under the tree in windrise you two stare at each other deeply with an empty smiles, trying to pretend everything is alright.

"Are you really sure about this?"

"You promise you're gonna be happy?"

"You promise you're gonna be fine without me?"

He nods at every question you throw at him, even with a trembling smile and tears that threaten to fall, he stands his ground. He answers your questions like he knows what you'll choose after his pleas and begs. Because you'd never say no to him, for you love him too much.

He'd accepted his doom. Anything for his nation to be safe and for you to continue your life, even without him.

But then why?

Why is your form slumping against him in his embrace as if you don't have any strength to even hold it anymore?

Why are you rubbing his back softly and whispering apologies for what you've done?

Why are your breathing and your heart slowly fading away despite him holding you so tight against him?

Why is he screaming your name repeatedly with uncontrollable tears that fall while he tries to shake you awake when it should have been him who won't respond to yours?

Why is he can't do anything despite him being a God, an archon, to bring you back by his side?

Why would you trade your place in his stead as a sacrifice?

Venti doesn't understand.

Or rather, he doesn't want to. For he forgot that he knows a fact.

That while Mondstadt is his world, Venti was yours.

#venti x reader #venti angst #genshin x reader #genshin x you #venti x y/n #genshin venti #genshin #genshin angst #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin x reader angst #venti x you #venti x reader angst #genshin x y/n

[podcastenthusiast]

First part of a Astarion/Karlach thing I'm writing. Basically a little rewrite of some Act 3 scenes. Could become something bigger, who knows.

--

"Well, at least you've met my family now," Astarion says. "Pity. You and Violet would get on quite well. Haha."

His tone is light and dismissive, especially for a midnight familial attempted kidnapping. But there's a desperate edge to it, too, like he's worried she might finally see sense and run for the hills.

Karlach's never been accused of being sensible. If Astarion burning his brother in a sunbeam while his sister screamed didn't scare her off, this little evening interruption sure won't.

Karlach does hope she will have a chance to meet his siblings properly, once they're all free.

"I wouldn't've let them take you anywhere," she vows, chest heaving, still very much caught up in protective Mama K mode.

"I know. Deep breaths, darling."

Astarion still looks wary, as if he's expecting the other shoe to drop. She can't cool down, she realizes, not yet, because she's still angry.

Angry at him.

"You lied to them. About the ritual. Like it was easy."

He scoffs. "It was easy. They aren't exactly the brightest candles in the chandelier, you know."

"You're really gonna sacrifice your own brothers and sisters? Betray their trust in you like--like they're nothing." Like Gortash did, she thinks but doesn't say. There are some words you can't take back. She loves this pasty bastard too much to actually believe he'd go through with it, anyway.

"What does it matter? They're just my...colleagues in suffering. Expendable. Pathetic." Oh, Astarion's giving her the old monster routine, one of his thinner disguises. She can see the aelf-loathing clesrly beneath without even really trying. "And let's not forget they are vampire spawn. Hardly innocent."

"Fuck, Astarion, none of us are! You only give a shit about yourself, huh?"

"Why not? No one ever looked out for me. No one ever said a kind thing to me. You're the only one," he insists, getting a bit heated himself now. "Other people don't have a heart like you."

"Damn right, soldier," she replies quietly, tapping a fist against her engine as it ticks and whirs her numbered days away. The rage fades. "Sort of the problem, isn't it."

"I-- shit, Karlach, I didn't mean--"

There he is.

"Hey. It's all right."

It isn't, not really. Nothing is all right anymore. But they will be.

Karlach just can't be the only good thing he sees in this world. It's not fair to either of them. Gods only know how much more time she even has left, besides; Astarion shouldnt be alone, not after everything he's been through. She needs him to be okay without her, selfish as it is.

"Scares me when you talk like that," she admits. "Like other people are just things to you."

"I'm sorry, Karlach," he says, miserably. "I don't know if I can be anything else, here."

Karlach's mother always told her to never go to bed angry. After ten years in the Hells, it felt pointless and silly, but tonight with his siblings' blood staining the floor, she thinks she might understand the wisdom in that advice.

"C'mere, Fangs."

She opens her arms. Always gives him a choice; touch is complicated for both of them in a lot of ways. And, yeah, there's her cuddly Astarion after all. Must be exhausting pretending to something he's not all the time. Thought so since she met him that day by the river. All those masks and yet none seems to fit quite right. She knows the feeling, more or less.

"You're loved, you hear me?" she tells him. "So fucking loved."

His skin is a pleasant balm; hers is still smoldering a little. They don't let go.

"You make things so difficult," he complains softly against her collarbone, affectionate despite the actual words.

"Knew this wasn't gonna be easy. But I swear, tomorrow we'll kick Cazador's ass," she murmurs, holding him tighter. "I've got you."

"Ugh. Get a room, you two," Shadowheart grumbles from her bed.

They have a room, though. This room. The others will simply have to deal with that.

It's gonna be okay.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x karlach #astarion #karlach #a bg3 fic from me that's not second person?? i know wild. karlach didn't want to do that i guess #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate iii

[wasteddmoondust]

this dream isn't feeling sweet || harry potter

pairing: harry potter and sister!reader 1,036 words, a bit of cursing, sibling comfort, post-war eighth year au, a little hurt comfort, your parents' death day, sibling argument, don't worry they make up a/n; I've had this thought like a very very long while... and it solidified when i was listening to ribs by lorde (a song that just wrecks me as i get older)

this dream isn't feeling sweet we're reeling through the midnight streets and i've never felt more alone

Halloween does not come easy for you.

There was a feast in the Great Hall, celebrating the occasion. You're sure there are floating lanterns, delicious food, and joyous music.

But for you, it's crisps as you sit on the floor of the Gryffindor common room by the fire. It's a tradition you and Harry somehow kept, once again this year despite the war being over and the man who brought your parents' death was defeated.

You know despite all of that they'll never come back.

Halloween doesn't come easy for either of you, But it definitely doesn't become easier when you told Harry this morning that you won't be joining him for Auror training after your graduation. Now you have a new thing to lament over.

The packet of crisps are almost done. Your knees are tucked against your chest. There's a part of you that wants to grab something else to eat, but the ache in your heart prevents you from doing so.

You hear the door to the common room open and close, but you don't look back to check who it is. You hope they won't disturb you.

Harry sits down next to you with a grunt, crossing his legs and leaning back against the sofa. You still don't acknowledge him. The conversation from this morning replays in your head.

"What do you mean you're not coming with me? Are you saying I'll be there on my own?" he's almost shouting.

"Why does that matter? You'll have Ron!"

"This isn't about him. We're the ones with a scholarship lined up. It's an opportunity we can't miss!"

You look up at him in disbelief. "A scholarship earned by fighting in a war? Do you have any idea how messed up that is? I didn't choose to be in the war, Harry. I didn't choose to be one of the chosen ones!"

"But it's always been us, hasn't it? The Potter siblings! We're meant to do this together!"

You press your palms to your face, taking a deep breath, "I can't-"

"Fine! Then don't. Don't even come talk to me."

Harry walks away, leaving you stranded with other students watching.

Your head is spinning so much. From too many thoughts and feelings or the lack of food? You don't know.

Harry breaks the silence, "You haven't eaten." You don't reply.

He runs a hand through his hair, sighing. "They have your favourite made downstairs, it's really good."

You keep staring at the floor. You don't say anything.

"Please, talk to me," he says, voice softer now.

"I thought you didn't want me talking to you," you murmur back.

"I was angry," he immediately replies, trying to reason with you. "Can I ask you something?"

You finally turn your head to look at him.

"Do you... ever wonder how they felt? Before they died?"

Somehow, the question does not hit you as hard as you thought it would. You nod, of course, you have. How could you not? It's been on your mind since you've understood how they died and the weight that has been left on you and your brother. Now with your new maturity and the scars left from battle, it's time to navigate your lives without them.

"Having to take care of two babies during a war doesn't sound the most ideal does it?" you say. "They must have really loved us if we're still here."

"And soon we're gonna be older than they ever were."

Silence follows after that. The fact really hits both of you. If not for their protection, it's possible that either one of you wouldn't have made it.

You let out a sigh, "It feels so scary, getting old..."

we can talk it so good we can make it so divine we can talk it good how we wish it would be all the time

"I'm sorry... I didn't know you didn't want to become an Auror."

You're quiet for a bit, thinking of what to say.

"Aren't you tired of fighting?" you ask.

Harry is stunned by the question, he'd never thought of it before. You take his silence as a means to continue.

"Our whole lives, we spent it fighting. Fighting to live while we were with the Dursleys. Fighting a troll in our first year, and then a basilisk in second year, and then there we were scared shitless when they all said a murderer wanted to kill us. You almost got killed in fourth year, and fifth year- Name one single year of our education which was peaceful."

"We risked our lives to destroy horcruxes and fought a whole war and killed Voldemort. And now people want me to become an Auror?" You sigh, "I'm tired, Harry. I just need peace and quiet after all this. If anything, we deserve it."

Harry is looking down now, pondering your explanation. He knows you're right.

"It's fine if you want to go," you say. "You should, if your passion is enough. You've always been a better fighter than me."

He furrows his brows. "That's not true. You're a great fighter."

"Not enough for me to want to keep going."

Harry sighs, taking the time to properly form his thoughts.

"I'm scared," he admits. "We've always been together. From the days at the Dursleys and all throughout school. When I died, it wasn't just me, you were there too. I just- I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Ugh, you're such a baby. You're 18 years old, you can handle yourself."

Harry laughs, and you immediately feel more comfortable slowly returning to your usual sibling banter.

"I'm not dying, I'm just..." You shrug. "Not going the same path."

"So what are you going to do?" he asks.

"Something potions related, I think," you reply. "Remus once told me Mum wanted to do something like that."

Harry eyes you, "Potions? I pity whoever you work with."

You scoff and shove him. "Shut it! You're piss at potions!"

He's full-on laughing now, contagious enough for it to make you giggle too.

When the laughter dies down, he says "You're the only friend I need."

You look at him, deadpan. "That's not true. We'll meet new people and do new things but we'll still have each other."

"You promise?"

You hold out your pinky. He does too, and links his pinky with yours.

"I promise."

you're the only friend i need sharing beds like little kids we'll laugh until our ribs get tough but that will never be enough

a/n: teehee. i love siblings. this one has been in the drafts for months and i'm so glad i got somewhere. tho i can't say it's my best work but it's ok, we learn out here. also wtf I've written so much recently i really hope you guys are enjoying it <3

likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #hp fanfic #harry potter x reader #but not really x because they're sibling we don't make it weird ok... #zee writes

[nevarroes]

Dearesr Daddy Blake,

May we have some smoft Gortcas? Tell us about all the soft cute things they do. Do they hold hands? Bathe together?

Pls feed me 🥺

My father left for milk and never came back. I've been starved for 89 years.

Xoxo

Merry holiday etc

- Me

i started typing this out yday then accidentally closed the page and got so mad I went to bed I'm so sorry . its ok i gotchu nw nw.....

so Gortash and Cas aren't exactly the erm... public pda types, mostly. honestly you see them in public you probably see them trying to trip each other into the river 🔥 they lowkey very much avoid holding hands but they DO end up standing a bit too close everywhere they go, arms and bodies brushing again each others "accidentally"... they always have seats next to each other whereever they go, Cas playing with his gauntlet and rings under the table, Gortash running his hand over Cas' thigh and then just plays it off with some "you're so muscular. no wonder no one gets to me" and a coy grin, tell me you see my vision...

aside from that I mentioned at some point that Cas he like... serial naps. he just falls asleep for a bit when he's bored or waiting for someone😭 anyways this is often next to to Gortash, while they're waiting for someone, while Gortash is doing some bureaucratic paperwork or etc etc. Cas just does this by himself too but whenever he doesn't already lean onto Gortash or literally straight up lies down on his lap or body Gortash tends to like... nudge him onto his shoulder whenever he thinks he's asleep enough to not notice the gesture (he very much does btw he's a light sleeper. not the "someone could kill him rn" sleeper)💖 ever since Cas asked him to unbraid his hair once while he was half asleep Gortash has also been running his hands through his hair sometimes when hes asleep tbh... I like to think he loves knowing that he's the only one that can do that without straight up getting his head ripped off, knowing hes the only one w the priviledge to touch Cas' hair or him in general when Cas treats his own body like his most valued possession, so he's just been liking to stroke his hair ever since. Not like Cas hates it . quite the opposite actually but this is very.... unspoken because Gortash only does it when he thinks Cas doesn't notice and Cas just kinda doesn't mention it because he enjoys it

ok let me tell u abt some more random small things that are on my mind actually 😼 whenever they appear in public events Gortash actually tends to hold onto Cas' waist quite often instinctively which just gets worse if he starts getting a bit tipsy (not possessive like cas btw. the thought of Cas leaving him all alone never tortures him at all. trust me.... real) Gortash kinda starts like... holding him in a show-offish manner almost w him around Cas' waist and Cas just having his arms around his shoulders while Gortash is slurring smth about how beautiful Cas is . to me he thinks this quite often tbh but barely ever tells it to Cas unprompted

another small thing that I think about sometimes is how Cas, especially during intimate moments and such tends to kiss Gortash's fingers nowadays, brush his lips over them whenever Gortash puts his hands on his face etcetc. same thing as the playing with his fingers and jewelry when they're out Cas has a bit of a... fixation on Gortash's hands in a way where it's kinda like an unspoken request for Gortash to touch and appreciate him physically to me (also funny to think about when I tell you that Gortash made Cas kiss his fingers in public at the beginning to keep up their little act and Cas would constantly tell him how he'll bite them off if he doesn't think of something else)

they're not like the most obvious soft people clealy bt i hope this fills the hole in ur heart a little .... its the little things🙏

#blakemail #i think of gortash running his hand through cas hair so often actually. gortash touching his horns and feeling the ridges #gortash gently tracing his thumb over Cas' lips while he smiles OUGHH #gortcas lore

[totally-a-different-person]

Could you do future tomxtordxedd?

Sure why not, also I'm only just realizing this now that I've finished it but I should stop writing smuts that take place in red leader's office, I don't know why it's like my brain's go to every time he's mentioned (nsft past this ploint proceed at your own risk)

Edd scoffed, leaning back "you're kidding." It was an accusation, not a guess. "Why in the world would I ever want to stay with you?" "Because it's that or prison, Edd."

He sounded frustrated, and desperate "I just- I don't understand why we even have to have this debate" the norsk opened his hands, but Edd just rolled his eyes "You're too dangerous to let go, you know that, but please don't make me lock you up. You could rule with me, by my side, imagine the power you'd have, don't you want that?"

"No, Tord... I don't" He looked away, crossing his arms tight over his chest. He didn't even want to make eye contact with Tom. Edd thought he had been killed when he was captured, but he was just like his secretary or something?? Is that what Tord wanted him to do too?

He just didn't understand why Tom wouldn't try to find a way to contact him, or escape, just anything. Tord sighed, putting his hands together again and sitting back in his seat. "Please don't be like this, what can I do to convince you? You can have all the cola you want, you don't have to participate in any of the army stuff if you don't want to"

Edd glared at the ground, no longer really crossing his arms but hugging himself now. Tord was obviously beginning to get frustrated looking at Tom as if asking if he knew what to do. So finally, the tallest of the three did speak up "Ringo can come, and she'll be kept completely safe" "of course! I would never let anything happen to her-"

"I don't want her anywhere near you! She's not coming, and neither am I." Tord threw his arms up "you would rather go to prison than have to work with me!? Even if it meant you could live like a king, you don't care??" Edd felt tears starting to well up in his eyes, quickly squeezing them shut and shaking his head.

Tom seemed to wilt slightly at this, frowning softly and taking a few steps toward Edd and gently putting a hand on his shoulder "hey-" "I just- I don't understand how you can expect me to after everything" his voice cracked slightly. Even after all this time it still felt the exact same to be comforted by Tom as it always had, and for a moment Edd totally forgot he was upset with him too.

"I know it's a lot, and I'm really sorry it has to be like this, Tord's been trying to keep you from getting hurt since he started all of this though, and you keep almost dying because you won't stop fighting back. I told him I wouldn't let him lock you up- but if it's between that or you getting killed I don't have much of a choice" he spoke softly, his voice was a little more horse than it used to be but it was always a bit raspy.

Edd huffed and leaned away from him "You never should have joined him in the first place, I wouldn't be in so much danger all the time if I wasn't alone" he retorted, sort of snapping, but he still just looked sad, and Tom couldn't bring himself to be angry.

"Edd I'm so sorry" he hugged him, which was sort of a surprise, Edd had known the other since sixth grade and could count the number of proper willing hugs from him on one hand. That could have been part of why he was so quick to melt into it, hugging back and burying his face in Tom's shoulder as he sniffled. That or the fact that it was one the first actual conversations they'd had since he left.

Tord watched in silence for another few seconds while Tom squeezed the little brit, letting him cry. "You understand that we just don't want anything bad to happen to you, will you please come with us?" He went out of his way to include Tom that time, since Edd seemed to want him back so bad.

The demon moved away from the hug only by a step so he could speak "I... I don't know..." He seemed very hesitant, but that was still much better than before, and now Tord had an idea.

He got up and came around the desk and Tom took another step back from him so he was just looking at Tord.

"Come here, how about this, ok?" He sort of guided him to stand next to his desk. Edd seemed confused, and even slightly hesitant to let Tord touch him when the man gently grabbed his arm.

At least he used his human one, Edd couldn't help but be relieved. He still wasn't used to the robot one. While he was in thought about that though, Tord simply leaned down to kiss him like it was totally normal and something they had done a million times before. It wasn't though, so obviously Edd was startled and quickly leaned back, but effectively pinned himself between Tord and the desk when the leader just took a step closer as well.

The artist's face was bright red, staring up at him confused and considerably shaken up "what are you doing??" He asked, voice cracking slightly. "Ah, perhaps I should have been more clear"

He said that, but in truth his actions were all very intentional. "If you stayed with us, you could act as our husband, and you wouldn't have to worry about anything else. That would be your job, and I'd do everything in my power, which is just about everything" there was a sort of sick twist to his grin as he said that part "to make you happy here and get you whatever you want"

He leaned in again, not kissing him but getting very close. Edd seemed very very taken back by this. He looked from Tord to Tom, who didn't seem phased. His whole face was bright red and he looked away from them. This was weird... Wrong. He shouldn't be actually considering this, not after everything.

He was just tired, that had to be it. He was so exhausted, the idea of giving in was starting to appeal to him. "You wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore, we'd take care of everything. Wouldn't it be nice to relax?" It was as if Tord had read his mind, gently taking Edd's chin and making him look into his eyes. The shorter blushed deeper, playing with his hands a bit.

"I-I mean... Of course, but I'm not sure..." He mumbled, averting his eyes. Tord smirked a bit "that's fine Edd, how about I show you what it'll be like, and then you can decide?" He placed the robot hand on Edd's hip and glanced back at Tom who nodded.

The brunette seemed a little surprised, cheeks burning deep scarlet "ah... I guess" he spoke softly and Tord grinned "fantastic" he kissed Edd again, moving his hand to cup the boys cheek which was slightly more affectionate than holding his chin.

Edd still seemed sort of hesitant, at first he did at least, though soon slowly melted into it. His lips were so soft, they tasted like cola and cherry chapstick, it was adorable and honestly Tord already wanted to bite and bruise them, but he had to be very careful with how he went about this. So he would wait.

The kiss slowly became heated, Tord pushing his tongue into the boy's mouth and tilting his head slightly as Edd grabbed the desk behind him with one hand, the other holding onto Red Leader's jacket. He was admittedly a little taken back, having thought it would be a simple kiss. He wasn't surprised though, it was Tord after all, he shouldn't have expected anything less. He was more surprised by how good he was, really, the sweet kiss almost left him light headed.

After just another moment Edd would have to pull away, taking a few shaking breaths as he looked away, face bright red. It was embarrassing how much he enjoyed that, the metal hand holding him only slightly tighter as Tord looked to Tom, nodding to the other side of the desk then turned his attention back to Edd, mumbling "come here" as he scooped him up, much to his surprise.

"Hey!-" "Relax." He set him on the desk "Just thought this would be easier if you were a little closer in height, you haven't exactly grown much since I last saw you" the norsk teased with a dark chuckle, pushing some of the papers off of his desk.

Edd blushed a bit and glared at him "well you haven't either, you just started wearing platform boots" he spat back and it actually seemed to strike a bit of a nerve, Tom trying to stifle his own laughter as he gently helped Edd slip his overcoat off.

Tord sighed, his expression of mild annoyance fading as ran his hands up under Edd's sweater, the boy flinching at the cold metal against his soft warm flesh, causing him to shiver a bit, getting goosebumps. Tom leaned in to gently kiss his neck, letting his teeth graze the skin as Edd gasped softly. He hadn't expected it but seemed absolutely fine with it, leaning back slightly to press against him a little better.

Tord watched with a little smirk, the brunette helping a bit as Tord took his sweater off as well as his shirt, just letting them fall to the floor with a soft thud. As Edd was focused on the fact that Tord was letting the robot hand fall lower, down to between his legs. But Tom took advantage of his guard being down and bit into his neck with his abnormally sharp teeth, earning a gorgeous noise that was somewhere between a squeal and a moan.

He was quick to cover his mouth, whole face bright red. Tord laughed and gently moved his hand away, Edd whining a bit. "no no" the taller spoke softly, smirking as he switched the vibrating function in his hand on, which honestly seemed to startle both the other two. He grinned proudly.

"Pretty cool yeah?" Chuckling as he rubbed and palmed Edd's number through his pants, watching him fall apart so quickly, desperately grabbing onto Tom's arms while the man continued kissing and nibbling his neck, licking the fresh bite marks as the sub gave a high pitched moan.

"Wha-what is-" he choked, looking at Tord in confusion and the man just hummed, using his other hand to unzip the boy's pants so he didn't have to stop rubbing him "yeah, made this thing myself and thought it might come in handy" he said it like it was the most simple thing in the world, slipping it into his pants to stroke his member directly, as well as turning the vibrating higher.

Edd gave a loud, broken moan and hid his face in Tord's shoulder. Tom rubbed his sides in a comforting manner as he completely slipped his bottoms off, letting them fall as well leaving the brunette naked. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself though, spreading his legs some and trying to rock his hips into Tord's hand as he panted and moaned.

"That's a good boy~" the younger coed as he continued to pleasure his friend, looking down at him lovingly before his eye flicked up to Tom as the man opened up his drawer, getting one of the small bottles of lube the leader kept.

Tord hummed softly and looked back to Edd "hey, I need you to tilt your hips up a bit for me kjæreste" he whispered, watching as the artist took his face from his shoulder, clearly trying to not make as much noise as he had been but Tord wasn't exactly giving him a break. He did as he was told, making it much easier for Tom to access his hole, said man opening the bottle of lubricant as they spoke. "Like that...?"

Tord nodded and kissed his head "yes that's perfect, such a good boy for me" he purred giving his member a little squeeze and turning the intensity of the vibrating up again for a good few seconds as he rubbed the tip with his thumb as a reward for being so obedient.

Edd moaned out loudly as he did, leaning back into Tom and nuzzling into his neck with a whine. He was starting to get close to his first orgasm.

Tom chuckled softly, his eye lights mostly focused on the sweet little brunette's face as it contorted in bliss while he gently pushed two of his now lubed up fingers inside of him, pressing against his walls as he slowly pumped them in and out. The cola lover gave a light gasp before biting his lip to muffle a sweet moan.

Edd was making nonstop noises, slowly increasing in volume and pitch as he continued receiving so much attention, his hips occasionally bucking or twitching, Tom adding another finger. Tord realized he was getting close, and honestly part of him was very very tempted to stop, make him beg for the right to cum, but he had to be patient. Play the long game.

This was about giving Edd exactly what he wanted and making him want to stay. So once he was more comfortable, he could indulge the part of Edd that loved being controlled and dominated, but so much had changed and even if he knew that was still what Edd wanted deep down, he didn't want to try too soon and scare him off.

So he settled for something safer and just as effective in terms of melting the sub's brain. He leaned in to kiss his cheek before nibbling his on his ear a bit, electing a soft shaking breath from Edd, then whispered "go on vakker, I know your close, be a good boy and cum for me~" the leader spoke very sweetly.

He wondered briefly in the back of his mind how many orgasms Edd could take, as well as how many it would take for him to break and want to stay. Hopefully he could find the answers to both very soon.

His words had the exact effect on Edd that he hoped they would, the boy giving a broken whine, shutting his eyes tight and melting into Tom. Tom let him, rubbing his hip sweetly while his other hand pressed into the brit's prostate with three fingers causing him to jolt and cry out as he came on Tord's hand, panting and mewling softly before being kissed again by red.

This time there was no hesitation in kissing back, holding onto his shit tighter he did, feeling the metal hand switch off and let him go. Edd panted softly as the kiss broke, again leaning back against Tom. "You ready dove?" Tom asked softly, eye lights gazing down at him as he nodded pretty quickly.

He kissed the brunette's cheek as he took his fingers back, having him spread his legs as Tord took his belt off. He dropped it and slipped his own jacket off before unzipping his black jeans and taking his already hard dick into his hand, pressing it gently against Edd's hole, watching the sub flush bright red. "Let me know if you need me to stop or slow down, ok?" He whispered softly, Edd nodding in response.

It was sort of embarrassing how quickly he'd fallen victim to their advances, he hadn't meant to at all. It had just... Been a long time since someone else had touched him, he was... Sensitive. It felt so nice, he was ashamed thinking about it, but he couldn't deny that he really really wanted this.

Tord was honestly a little bigger than Edd would've guessed, having to bite his lip a little as it was pushed inside of him, wincing quietly and trying his best to relax. It felt so good to be filled through, even with the slight stretch, he was panting and whining as it pushed deeper.

Tord didn't waste a second, he did initially push inside pretty slow but didn't even slip the whole thing in before pulling back and starting to thrust in and out of Edd, who was now moaning loudly. He would give sweet, very content sounding moans every time it was shoved back inside of him.

Tord wasn't going too fast, but was still thrusting hard, setting a nice rhythm and giving a breathy chuckle as he watched the brunette. "Awe, you like that?~" he punctuated his words with an especially hard thrust causing Edd's voice to break as he quickly nodded, tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"I told you you would," Tord grinned, going faster now as he pounded the shorter "and just look at you, such a good boy, taking it so well~" Edd gasped feeling the leader's human hand take and gently started stroking his weeping cock. He gave a broken moan, cute little dick twitching at the attention, he could feel a second climax building.

"Do you want more baby?~" the norsk purred, glancing at Tom as he did. Edd followed his look and quickly nodded, giving the soldier a pleading look. He seems hesitant though, not sure it was a good idea "I... Don't know, are you sure he can take that much?" His eye lights flicked from Tord down to Edd as he spoke.

Said man huffed softly "I can take it, please Tom?" He begged softly, and Tord was ecstatic.

This was perfect, it literally possibly couldn't be going better. He kept his overwhelming joy to himself, but was very proud of himself and his plan. Tom's face went pink as Edd spoke, the man giving him puppy dog eyes as he leaned into him a bit more. "I guess it'll be alright" he spoke sort of softly, the lights now looking to the side.

"Fantastic" Tord smiled and started thrust again without any kind of warning, making Edd nearly jump out of his skin, surprised moan getting caught in his throat.

Edd could feel his climax rapidly approaching a second time, moaning and whimpering loudly as he was fucked. He could hear Tom fiddling with his jeans behind him as he got his dick out. "I-I'm-" was all he managed to mumble before he came, whining and squeezing his eyes shut tight. Tord didn't give him a break to catch his breath, if anything it felt like he was purposely pushing it deeper.

That wasn't going to be allowed at all once Edd agreed to stay, cumming without permission, but there was time for that later. You have to earn something before you can be in charge of it after all.

Now lubed up Tom grabbed Edd by the hips and positioned himself to start slowly pushing in. Tord did stop to let him, the shortest of the three panting heavily. Tom was even bigger than Tord was, both of them at once left him dizzy as it slowly pressed inside.

It honestly hurt a lot, Edd sort of wiggled as he tried to adjust. Tom very sweetly and gently kissed their sub's neck as he pushed deeper, he whispered "stay still for me Eddie..." The way the brunette squeezed around him was so fantastic.

Finally they were both completely inside of him and it felt so fantastic, it was by far the most he had ever taken at once and it definitely kind of hurt, but he felt so unbelievably stuffed and Tom was pressed right into his prostate. He couldn't even think, just whimpering and panting, giving quiet moans.

Once he was adjusted enough Tord started moving and Tom followed. It was a really weird sensation at first because it was almost impossible to get used to, Tord went right back to plowing him, even harder than before even. Tom on the other hand started fairly slowly, giving long thrusts to give Edd lots of time to adjust to his length.

The artist let his head fall back as he cried out, moaning loudly and arching his back slightly. Tord pushed his legs a bit further, holding the underside of his thighs as he pounded the shorter man who was sobbing at this point just giving little strings of incoherent nonsense and please for more. Tord had been close before but had to stop to let Tom in safely, it only took moments for his climax to build back up, panting as he thrusted, watching Edd melt for them.

It was perfect, he leaned a bit with a wide smirk on his face "you could... feel this good whenever you want," it was a little hard for him to keep a steady voice as he spoke "We'd take such good care of you, just say you wanna stay~" he instructed sweetly, Edd giving a desperate little whine.

"That's a good boy, go ahead and say it. You wanna stay here and be our cute little husband to fuck and use?~" Edd nodded quickly, mumbling "m-mhm!~ I do!~" he moaned sweetly, it was all he could muster.

"Good boy~" Tord grinned, pushing as deep as he could before cumming inside of him, Edd screaming as he was filled, Tom getting hard and faster all the while, he was getting closer to another orgasm himself by the second.

Tom felt a little weird about Tord getting Edd to agree to stay like this, he very obviously wasn't thinking clearly, but he didn't say anything. They could talk about it later.

Edd came again, starting to feel the overstimulation as they continued, starting to feel the dull pain in his hips. They pumped a few more rounds into him, just going until he said he couldn't take any more.

So, Tord had Tom help clean him up, being very gentle with him before calling somebody to come clean up the office. In the meantime they took Edd to their room. Tord has his own bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen that was connected to his office. Tom had his own room that was much nicer than the other soldiers' rooms but it was only a bedroom, and he spent most of his time in Tord's anyway.

They all got comfortable and cuddled up in the large comfortable bed in Tord's room, Edd passing out almost immediately in the warm comfortable embrace of his wonderful lovers, the other two soon to follow.

#sinsworld #sw edd #sw tom #sw tord #sw tordedd #sw tomedd #sw tomtord #sw tomtordedd

[positivelyholland]

Styles/swift daughter reader and maybe she’s with Harry and they have an angsty fight?

pairing: harry styles x daughter!reader

genre: angst

warnings: arguing with parent, name calling, taylor being the best mom ever, harry's a bit of a shitty dad for a little while tho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had just finished unpacking your stuff after making it to your dads house a few hours earlier, so you decided that you would go spend some time with your dad since you haven't seen him in a while. As you started the walk down the hall to his office, you heard his voice from outside the room just when you were about to knock.

"I just never know what to do while she's here, she's always so picky and it makes my life so much harder"

At the sound of the awful words coming out of his mouth, you froze in your place. That was the last thing you expected to hear while you were simply trying to hang out with your dad for heavens sake!

You knew better, you should've just kept on walking and mind your own business. I mean, it would save you from an inevitable mental breakdown.

But nonetheless, you kept listening.

"she's just such a handful, I have no clue how Taylor is able to deal with her for such long periods at a time"

As you heard this, you swear you could hear your heart break in your chest. You made the (not so smart) decision to start recording what you were hearing so you could use it to possibly go back to your moms house. There was no way you could continue to live here if that's how he was going to talk about you.

"I'm so behind on all my work, the last thing i need is another burden to add to the list of things i need to worry about"

You continued to catch everything he said about you on video, and in the meantime, you realized that you had started crying.

Once you had decided that enough was enough, you walked back to your room and sent the video to your mom in hopes that she would let you go back to her house.

You put your phone down and started crying. You muffled the sound with your pillow because the last thing you needed was for Harry to hear you crying. That would just make him despise you more.

•••••••••

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing, which confused you since you didn't even remember ever falling asleep. As you check the screen, you're met with your moms contact picture proving that it was her that was calling you.

"hello?" your voice was incredibly weak and scratchy from both the crying and the fact that you had just woken up.

"Oh y/n/n, I'm so sorry about what he said. I've already sent him a text telling him off for what he said" Taylor responded, sounding as upset as you were, if not more.

"Thanks mom, I just wanna come back to your house" a small sob broke out as the words left your mouth.

"i know baby. I'll tell you what, if he doesn't fix what he did and take you on a daddy daughter date then we can try to work something out. Does that sound okay?" she was furious about what Harry had said and with how it had affected you she was more than willing to do anything to help you out.

You sniffled and wiped off some of your tears, "okay mom, love you."

"Love you too, so much. Let me know if you need anything" Taylor responded. "I'll talk to you later"

You just nodded before hanging up. You decided that sleep was the best thing you could do at the moment to help you forget about what he said, but sleep requires peace which you definitely did not have, so you ended up just laying in bed alone with your thoughts.

Unaware of how long it had been, you heard a knock at your door which you could only assume was your dad coming to apologize after your mom yelled at him.

However, he had different plans.

"Y/N Y/M/N Styles-Swift!" He yelled your full name at you so this couldn't be good.

You just rolled over in your bed to face him, and once he had seen your tear stained face, he somehow seemed to become even angrier.

"Care to explain why I just got a call from your mother saying that you told her that I said something that wasn't even your business to hear in the first place?" he practically screamed at you.

"Im sorry dad, I just didn't know what else to do" your voice was barely above a whisper.

"But if you weren't such a crybaby and you had a brain then you would've known what to do"

There's no way this was actually him. This was not the Harry you knew. Your dad would never treat you like this, or so you thought.

You decided not to respond to him, as he would probably use anything you say against you at this point, and would ultimately make the situation worst. You resulted to just staying quiet and nodding.

Once Harry decided he was done yelling at you, he stomped out of your room and left with a slam of your door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N I'm so sorry to do this to y'all but lemme know if you want a part 2

#taylor swift x daughter!reader #harry styles x daughter!reader #positively holland #styles swift!reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles

[geraltic]

A/N:

I’m so sorry on how long this turned out. I really wanted do a fanfic for 7 deadly sins, as I've not seen a lot of posts for it.

I’m really sorry for my grammar and stuff. I have a disability that kind of affects a lot and makes myself paranoid about my writing on here.. But I wanted to dip my toe back into writing again, so I thought why not do the sins. (also thank you to my best friend for telling me I should post and stop stressing myself out ♡ @xthescarletbitch is amazing)

If you want part 2 of this; please let me know.I also want to do other stories for other fandoms i’m in.

Female reader x Meliodas - no smut or anything. Just normal Meliodas

Y/N pov

The holy knights changed so much, they suppose to protect the kingdom. Not turn it into a playground.

I've been running for a long time, my cloak is ripped and my body hurts. The knights hurt me a lot, they wouldn't let me leave the castle without a fight.

My legs are so tired they are beginning to buckle. I feel so drained.

Looking over I saw a tavern, shaped like a hat. It seems safe enough to hide in for a while.

I hope they don't recognize me, I just need to stay low and out of sight.

-no pov-

The young women pushed open the tavern door and slowly stepped in.

Her cloak was ripped and she had some blood sitting on her lip.

She seemed beaten up, and really tired.

“May I stay here please” she pleaded.

Meliodas grinned of course he was happy to help a damsel in distress, Merlin rolled her eyes and sat down watching Meliodas help the young woman.

“Welcome to boar hat tavern,” Meliodas said in his usual flirty manner.

The young woman looked around and scanned the room, she turned to Ban who gave her kind wave, then to Merlin who simply nodded and drank her drink.

“Excuse me” snapped a voice from the ground.

Her eyes widen as she landed on hawk who snorted proudly.

“I’m a Hawk, captain of scraps disposal,” he said proudly.

“Nice to meet you hawk.” the young woman said giving him a tiny smile.

“Who are you?” Merlin asked raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms, of course, she going to be weary of random women just barging in.

“Oh, I’m y/n. I’m farmer girl.” The woman lied and held the cloak tightly around her body.

Merlin made a “hmpft” sound and walked out of the room leaving Meliodas and Ban alone.

Y/N pov

I just lied to that woman, I couldn't tell them I’m a princess, What are they going to think?

They would come up with bad scenarios or worst send me back to the castle, where I’ll be locked up and won't be able to help Elizabeth or my family.

The young blonde boy stood in front of me, his eyes were calming and had an emerald green tint to them.

“I’m Meliodas, I own the tavern. Of course, you can stay here as long you need to” Meliodas boasted confidently and gave you a charming smile.

“That’s very kind of you Meliodas, I thank you for your kindness,” you said softly and felt your heart stutter a bit as you spoke his name.

“I’m ban, nice to meet you. I also cook great food if you are hungry” Ban said kindly.

“Nice to meet you too ban”

“And the odd woman who left the room is Merlin” Meliodas chirped in and sat down on the other side of the table.

The shooting pain rose once again, you've kept the injuries to yourself.

Meliodas could sense something wrong with you, as he slowly pushed out his chair and move your cloak to see the damage all over your body.

-Meliodas pov-

I sensed something wrong, her body was tensing she was guarding herself or something else.

From what I can sense she seems to be trustworthy. She's also very pretty, ban has Elaine not physically but he loved her, he kept telling me that previous lovers and moping over them won't make me happy. I need to pick myself up and explore the world with new eyes.

I didn't think I would be starting my adventure with women barging into my tavern, looking ripped apart and needing our help.

Ever since Elizabeth decided it was time we spilt up and do what the goddess and demons asked, I didn't think I could love again.

But the ban has a point, I can't sit in self-pity forever.

But this woman feels like I've seen her before, I can't place where.

I gazed over her body, I tried not to look at her chest area. She appeared pretty injured and she had a long blood mark along her cheek.

She began to tense under my gaze covering her face.

-y/n pov-

He moved my cloak and looked at my body. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, as he examined me.

I sat in silence then Meliodas spoke.

“Your pretty injured, and seems like you've had a crazy day” he spoke.

Nodding quickly and tears form around my eyes, I've never had to deal with this before. Elizabeth has had her fair share of adventures, but I thought I would never had flee as I did.

Meliodas stood up slowly and gave me another warm smile, and looked at Ban who leaning on the bar.

“Ban can give us a minute,” Meliodas asked starting at the other man.

Ban quirked his eyebrows and simply nodded leaving both of us in the empty bar room.

Meliodas turned back to me and kneeled down, he made eye contact and my breath hitched slowly.

“Princess y/n. Elizabeth’s younger sister. I can't believe it's you” he said.

Then my whole body froze and my eyes widen.

-no pov-

Meliodas knew when he first saw the cloak and long wavy hair, the colour of your hair and the way you presented yourself.

Elizabeth guided you and made sure you would be fit to rule over the kingdom, she wanted more than her father had planned, and in that, your father placed the burden on your shoulders.

Meliodas slowly pulled the cloak down and saw the princess, he knew when she was younger also.

He protected you and Elizabeth, he made sure you both were happy and had everything you needed in the castle.

-your pov-

He stared at me and shook his head slowly. I felt my whole body freeze, I didn't know what to say.

Meliodas stood up slowly and turned away from me and looked out the window. He finally spoke again, “How is Elizabeth”

“E-Elizabeth,” you asked confused how does he know about your sister?

He simply nodded not facing you anymore.

Now the tears began to fall dropping on the tavern floor.

“We got separated, and they locked her in the castle,” you said as the tears kept dripping from your eyes.

Meliodas stood in quietness before turning to you with a small smile.

“I best go save her again”

Your eyes widen as you realise who he is.

“Your the 7 deadly sins, aren't you,” you asked standing up as the cloak fell down to the floor showing your injured body and ripped long the chest area (have a suit on like Elizabeth from the first episode)

Meliodas grinned and announced

“I’m Meliodas, Dragon's Sin of Wrath. Captain of the Seven Deadly Sins. And I’m going help you and your sister”

#fanfic #7 deadly sins #meliodas x reader #this long fanfic I’m so sorry

[ssahotstuff]

Aaron Hotchner Playlist Collection 💕

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith here

Warnings: secret kid trope, alcohol, smut, oral, Fem receiving, fingering, penetration, mentions of food, angst to fluff/smut

Word count: 14.2k

It had been almost two years since you'd seen him, but he hadn't changed a bit. You had spied him across the dance floor and debated interrupting his night, but you thought better of it, remaining frozen in place at the bar.

"There's the rest of my team! Y/n, come on!" Penelope was dragging you in his direction and you prayed she took you anywhere but his table. He'd left without so much as a phone call, promising to meet you later in the day for lunch, but you never heard from him again. You wanted to hate him, but it was hard considering what you'd gotten out of the deal.

Waiting at home was your reason for existence; he looked just like Aaron, the resemblance more than obvious as he got older. You hadn't kept him a secret on purpose, but after he changed his number and stopped taking your messages at work, you'd set to raising your son on your own. It was more than difficult; without Penelope or your aunt that was always happy to babysit, you would've really struggled.

"That's your boss? Aaron?"

Penelope stopped in her tracks halfway to the table and turned around, bewildered.

"How do you know each other?"

You couldn't avoid her questions, so you briefly explained that you used to date a long time ago and you didn't want things to be awkward.

"You're sure it's the same guy? Hotch doesn't really date," Penelope tried to make excuses but he'd already caught your eye, and was waiting to see if you joined them or not.

"It's him. I'm going to go, Penny. You go have fun," you excused yourself to pay your tab but you weren't so lucky to avoid Aaron, because he was making his way through the sea of bodies to seek you out.

"Y/n, wait!"

You were nearly to the door when you turned around in your tracks, furious that he thought you owed him anything after what he'd done to you. If you hadn't been so hellbent on telling him off, you would've just ignored him.

"What do you want, Aaron? You made it pretty clear you have nothing to say to me," you crossed your arms over your chest and tried not to notice how good he looked. The sun had done him a favor, his tan skin radiating against the flashing lights. His black polo seemed to fit him just right as he stared blankly back at you, at a loss for words.

"I should apologize. I didn't mean to leave you hanging. Things just got serious really quickly and I panicked."

It was the shittiest excuse you'd ever heard, so you scoffed at him before turning sharply on your heel to leave. He came forward and captured your hand in his, only for you to shrug out of his grasp.

"You don't get to touch me. I've spent the last two years trying to build a life without you after you left me stranded. Don't mess things up for me again," you took off towards your car, leaving him standing in the middle of the floor alone.

✨✨✨

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't know you knew each other," Penelope was apologizing as soon as I'd reached the table, but I waved it off and told her it was fine. I hadn't handled ending our relationship as gracefully as I should have. She was exactly what I'd needed and I'd been too blind to see it, running at the first sign of things getting deep. I changed my telephone number and hoped she got the hint. I was in no position for a real relationship at the time, and although I went about things the wrong way, she deserved an explanation.

"It's okay. I didn't know that I'd ever see her again."

I swirled the ice in my glass as Penelope explained that they were neighbors. She'd moved in shortly after we split up and the pair had became close. She still worked as a preschool teacher, which made sense because she was terrific with children. Kids gravitated towards her like flies drawn to honey. I listened intently as Penelope told everyone about their karaoke nights and spa days.

"We did a lot more before Maverick was born. Now she doesn't get a lot of free time. She was actually heading home to relieve the sitter before you all showed up," the vein in my neck pulsed wildly at the mention of a child; surely she would've told me if I'd gotten her pregnant? Looking back, I haven't given her a lot of opportunity to communicate with me on her own terms.

"How old is he?" I was asking before I realized it, watching Garcia do math in her head.

"He just turned a year old a few months ago, we had a big party to celebrate."

The math was accurate but I'd never know for sure unless I asked her. I wasn't sure how that sort of conversation would even go, if she'd listen to anything I said. Surely she would let me help her, get to know my child if he belonged to me.

"I see the gears turning in your head. You think he's yours?" Rossi knew our situation because I'd told him everything. He didn't agree with my decisions but he was as supportive as he could be given my actions.

"I don't know, Dave. Things ended so badly between us that I wouldn't blame her for not telling me," as furious as I was at the thought of having a child and not knowing, I couldn't blame her for anything. She'd done everything all on her own because my pride was too great to just pick up the phone.

"When we leave here, you should explain the situation to Penelope. See if she'll take you to her," I wanted to keep things discreet until I was certain, because everything could crumble at a moments notice and I had to be prepared. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but at the same time my thoughts were swimming with endless possibilities. I wondered what he looked like, if he could walk yet. If he was mine, I'd already missed too much.

It was nearly impossible waiting on the crowd to clear out so I could talk to Garcia alone. When she excused herself to leave, I followed her and asked for the biggest favor.

"Y/n and I need to talk. It's extremely important and I don't know how to get ahold of her," she nodded sympathetically and instructed me to follow her home, but she made no promises on if she'd actually talk to me or not.

"Maverick's dad screwed her up. Wouldn't take her phone calls, changed his number. She's kind of traumatized."

The lump in my throat grew considerably and it felt like fire in my lungs as I struggled to process. I climbed in the drivers seat of my car and gripped the wheel tightly, trying to ground myself. She'd tried to tell me and I wouldn't listen and now I'd missed an entire year with her. I felt the guilt consuming me because I was already off to a terrible start in the parenting department. It was a short drive, so I didn't have time to think about what I'd say to her.

"She lives across from me. Let me text her and make sure she's still awake."

I followed her up and heard her answer the phone. Garcia made it quick and told her that she had someone for her to speak to. Garcia was creeping into her apartment as the door opened.

I was so taken aback that I could only study him, nearly asleep in her arms, sitting on her hip as she covered his eyes from the hallway light.

"What do you want?" It was a harsh whisper, frantic, because deep down she knew I'd figured it out.

"He looks like me."

She looked between the two of us and sighed, kissing the top of his head softly.

"Don't even say that I didn't try to tell you. I tried to call for months," she defended, and I nodded my head back at her, because I knew she'd tried. I'd never given her the chance to say a word to me.

"I know you did. I'm not mad but I understand if you are. I just wanted to meet him."

It was awkward while I waited on her to decide if I could be a part of his life. The overwhelming intensity of it all made my head spin; there was a possibility that she'd been doing just fine without me, and didn't need me in her life. I braced myself for it, made sure I was prepared in case she sent me on my way.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she admitted, bouncing him slightly to get him to sleep. He was slumped over on her chest, snoring lightly as she let me inside. The floor was littered with toys, photos of the two of them covering the walls. I'd already missed out on so many milestones.

"I was afraid of how much you liked me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but you're too good for me by far and I knew eventually I'd lose you."

She shook her head, putting up a finger to excuse herself so she could lay him down in her bed. She left the door cracked and joined me on the couch, leaving space between us.

"I thought you liked me too. I never would've kept bothering you if I thought there was something wrong. You ghosted me, Aaron. That really hurt."

"I'll see you for lunch at that place across from the library that we wanted to try?" She leaned up to kiss me goodbye, her fingers finding their way to my hair. I leaned into her touch, her soft hands gently caressing my face. I was running a little behind, but it wouldn't hurt to be a few minutes late.

"I'll be there. Kiss me," her mouth melted against my own, a low moan emitting from my chest as it grew more intense. It had taken all of my strength to peel myself from her bed after such an amazing night. I'd found myself doing things with her that I'd never mention to anyone else for fear of rejection, but she understood all of my desires and made them reality.

"I'm going to be late, sweetheart," I made no effort to move towards the door; I snaked my arms around her waist and picked her up, letting her smother me in kisses before I left for the day. It was hard to believe I'd only met her six months ago; we'd been together every second we were free. She spent the majority of her free days wrapped up in my bed, or vice versa.

"So leave then," she challenged, hugging me tightly before I sat her down. I couldn't help but kiss her again, brushing her hair behind her ear as she waved me goodbye.

"I'll see you for lunch," it was pretty normal for us to meet up on our lunch hour, even if we weren't hungry we'd just get a coffee and talk about how our day had been going so far. She was a great listener, so it made for easy conversation.

"Don't be late," she called after me, making me smile wide as I made the walk to my car. My phone was ringing before I could even start the engine.

"Hotchner."

"You're late," Dave reminded me, but truthfully I was right on time. I just wasn't in the office as early as usual.

"I'll be there in ten minutes," I replied, pulling out of her driveway and navigating the short cut I'd figured out the week prior when I was running late.

"She must be pretty special to make you late," he said teasingly, and I couldn't help but worry that I'd let my priorities get sidetracked in my newfound adoration for her.

"I've not been as focused as normal and it shows," he didn't disagree but he did tell me to cut myself some slack, that I deserved someone to care about after the hell I'd been through. I spent the entire morning debating her role in my life and finally decided that my career was more important.

The first few missed calls were hard, but they got easier as the night went on. I couldn't turn my phone off, but with a quick call to the phone company, her number was blocked and I'd never have to explain all of my fears and insecurities to her because she wouldn't be able to get ahold of me. She'd never go against my wishes and show up unannounced, so I went to bed for the night and tried to forget about her.

The day after was hard.

I found myself lonely, missing everything she had to offer. I'd acted irrationally and the only alternative I had was being removed from her life. I didn't even give being happy a chance before I sabotaged it for myself. All I could do was keep living as normal, and hope that eventually I'd be able to move on.

✨✨✨

"I'm so sorry. You deserved so much better than what I could've given you then. But I—I'm different now. And if you'll let me, I'd really like to be a father."

The living room was mostly silent as she stared back at me and contemplated whether or not I deserved another chance. I'd already been gone for so long that if she let me, I had a lot to make up for.

"If you want to come back tomorrow, you can meet him. We'll go slow, he's young but I still don't want to confuse him."

I nodded, willing to take whatever she would give me. I was just shocked she didn't shut the door in my face—it's what I deserved. I ruined her life and didn't think twice about it, granted I'd thought about her nearly every day since. I didn't even think about getting to know anyone else—she was all I needed.

"Does he have my last name?"

She shook her head and I felt a pang of guilt wash over me, because I should've been there. She'd experienced an entire pregnancy without me, and my son didn't even have my last name.

"Is there any way we can fix that? I'd like him to have it."

She sighed deeply before turning around to look towards the bedroom. I knew she'd be a good mother, terrific even. I knew it must've been hard to do on her own, and I hated myself for it.

"We can talk about it tomorrow. I'm exhausted, and he'll be up in a few hours."

She walked me to the door and offered a small wave as I made my way down the hall. I called Dave the second I stepped into the street and had safely made it to my car.

"Is he a Hotchner?"

He didn't bother greeting me, he knew why I'd called.

"He is. He looks just like me at that age. The resemblance is undeniable."

He chuckled into the receiver, no doubt shocked at the way the night had went.

"Congratulations. Don't fuck it up. She's done everything on her own for the last year, make sure you help her, Aaron. I'm not telling you what to do, but maybe you could put some of that built up vacation time to good use."

I'd already planned on it—I was going to take two weeks off and get to know my son, and try to make things right with his mother.

"I think that's a good idea."

I could hardly sleep I was so anxious to meet him—I tossed and turned nearly all night, falling asleep around 3 am. My head was filled with so many questions—I wanted to know everything about him, take him to do things like a father should have been doing all along.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I was online, researching everything I'd need to take him out for the day. I didn't know his sizes, but I'd find out later. Before I made my way to her house, I stopped and bought a car seat. I was struggling to install it properly when someone awkwardly cleared their throat behind me, standing in my open doorway.

"Hotch?"

JJ was holding Henry by the hand, getting ready to make her way into the store.

"Can you help me with this?"

She glanced behind me and saw what I was struggling with, a curious brow raised as she showed me what to do. She didn't ask any questions, she just helped me secure the seat in my car.

"Good luck," she called as she walked inside. I double checked that it was secure as possible before I set my sights on her house. I was nervous, afraid she may have changed her mind and didn't want anything else to do with me just since I'd left a few hours prior. I knocked on the door, rocking back and forth on my heels. I could hear him babbling behind the door, and she was talking up a storm to him, the two of them sounding more chipper than I'd ever heard her.

She opened the door, smiling back at me as she invited me in.

"He just had breakfast, so he's in a really good mood," I went around the corner and actually saw him for the first time, unsteady on his feet as he walked around the living room, rearranging stuffed animals.

"C'mere, Mav," he turned at her voice and came running, his arms outstretched for her to pick him up. He ran straight into her arms before he even noticed me, taking one look at me before shoving his face into her shirt. He was shy, but one eye peered curiously at me from the safety of his mothers chest.

"He's perfect," I couldn't peel my eyes away from him, his dark hair and eyes, his nose strong and defined just like mine.

"Can you say 'hi'?" He lifted his head before clutching her shirt tightly, his lips parted in indecision.

"Mama," he said instead, making her giggle as she tapped the tip of his nose with her pointer finger. She kissed his cheek causing him to let out a howl of laughter followed by some baby babble, indecipherable, but adorable nonetheless.

"Mama is his favorite word," she told me, leading me to the living room so the two of us could sit down. He went back to playing, occasionally bringing her a toy to examine before he'd go back to what he'd been doing before.

"I was thinking maybe I could take you both out for the day," she looked surprised but she nodded anyway, excusing herself long enough to find him some clothes. I watched him carefully, thinking he may get upset when she'd left the room, but he walked right up to me, handing me a stuffed teddy bear. I ruffled his hair, which made him smile wide before climbing right into my lap. He sat down, playing with his toys, content for the moment.

She came back, watching the two of us with wide eyes.

"Other than his doctor, he's never been around a man before. I'm surprised he just climbed up there with you," I was in awe that he didn't mind sitting with a complete stranger. I wondered if he knew that we shared a bond of blood—if it was strong enough that he could feel it even as an infant. I felt differently as soon as I knew I could possibly have a son.

"I'm taking some time off work, I was hoping I could spend it with you two."

She changed his diaper and got him dressed quickly, and I tried to pay attention so I'd know what to do too. Baby clothes were small but intimidating, with buttons and snaps in all sorts of places.

"I know your job is difficult but I hope you'll see him when you're in town. Maybe it'll give you a reason to settle down." She never would've said it if we weren't broken up, but she didn't need to sugar coat things now, she could be completely honest and she didn't have to worry about the repercussions.

"I was already planning on it. I know you hate my job, but I'll do everything I can to be a good father."

She shrugged before strapping on his shoes and gathering up everything he'd need to spend the day out with me.

"I never said that I hate your job. It's just not the kind of job you have if you want a life outside of it."

She wasn't wrong.

She packed his bag before deciding she was ready to go, carrying him down the stairs and into the parking lot. She was surprised to see I'd already gotten him a car seat, and she showed me how to strap him into it and where to put the chest clip. It seemed easy enough, so we got him settled in and she climbed into the passengers seat. I'd never forget how beautiful she was, even if it had been over a year and a half without seeing her. She looked the same, only more tired, maybe a little sad. I wasn't sure if her frown was from exhaustion or from being around me again, but I wanted to fix it.

"When's his birthday?"

"April 3rd. His—his middle name is Aaron. I know he doesn't have your last name but I still wanted him to have a piece of you."

My heart nearly doubled in size— his last name could be changed, but he'd have a part of me forever. I couldn't wait to show her that I could be consistent, give them both anything they needed. I knew she'd been hurting without me, and I truly had no clue how much. I'm sure she felt inadequate at times, like a failure because she couldn't keep her son's father around. I tried not to let the guilt of it all consume me.

"I can't believe I've missed an entire year. When did he start walking?"

She told me all about his first steps a couple months before, promising to show me the video as soon as we made it back to her place.

"You know, as long as you stick around, he'll remember you. I know you can't get the last year back, and I'm sorry. I tried to tell you, Aaron. It wasn't a message I could just leave with JJ."

I pulled into a parking spot shaking my head the entire time. She had no reason to be apologizing.

"It's not your fault. I'm sorry I didn't take your calls. I was a coward and you—you've done so much without me. I promise you won't have to do anything else alone."

She nodded before getting out of the car. She let me get him out of the car seat and after a minute of fighting with the straps, I had him undone. He reached for me, and after a second of deliberation she was nodding for me to carry him. He slipped his tiny arms around my neck and let me carry him while she got his stroller upright.

"Has he ever been to the zoo?" I wasn't sure what he'd enjoy doing, so I brought them somewhere we could all enjoy.

"No, he hasn't. I think he'll like it though," her mood had changed drastically as I paid for our tickets and we made our way inside. The first bit that caught his attention was the monkey exhibit. They jumped from the branches and he clapped happily, pointing towards the giant window.

She took pictures on her phone as I pushed him around. He chatted away to himself for the majority of the day before we stopped at the restaurant inside of the zoo for lunch. The waitress brought us a high chair and we sat down. I looked at the menu as she went through her bag and found him a quick snack and filled his cup with water.

"What does he like to eat?"

She told me that he'd try just about anything but he mostly just ate off of her plate. I thought about how I'd missed the bottle and baby food stage and he was already big enough to eat regular food and it made me sad that I didn't get to be a part of it.

"What's wrong?" She'd noticed my sudden change in behavior—even years apart couldn't hide the fact that she knew me well.

"I'm just so sorry. I feel so bad for missing his life."

He grabbed my sleeve before wrapping his tiny fingers around my own, smiling back at me with a toothy grin.

"Mama," he said as plain as day, looking to her, and then back to me.

"You sure do love your mama," I brushed his hair out of his eyes and he scrunched his nose up at me before reaching his arms out for me. I didn't think twice before unbuckling him and bringing him into my arms. He laid against my chest just as he'd done to her the night before, his tiny hand playing with the hair on my head.

"He likes you," she said before the waiter joined us and took our order. He stayed content in my arms for a while before I realized he'd fallen asleep against my shoulder.

"He's asleep," I whispered, moving him so I could cradle him in my arms. He looked so calm, like he'd had the busiest day of his life and couldn't resist taking a nap any longer.

"That was quick. I'm surprised, it's kind of noisy in here."

There was a soft roar of chatter in the restaurant, but he'd been too tired to hold on. When our food came, she helped me move him back to the stroller while she reclined it back so he could sleep.

"I don't know what the rest of your day looks like, but I'm free if you are."

She thought about it for a moment before she nodded, peeking at him to make sure he was still asleep.

"As long as you don't mind tv for babies, we don't have anything planned."

I couldn't help but smile at her from across the table as the waiter brought our food. We'd been starving, and we managed to keep a conversation going throughout the meal, so I saw it as a good sign.

"I was actually thinking you could go with me to pick up some things for my house. I want him to have his own room there too," I'd already decided to turn my spare bedroom into his room. Part of me was disappointed in myself for not being able to have a family that was together, but I had hope that we'd eventually be able to smooth things over and Maverick could grow up with both of his parents living under the same roof.

"We can do that. I need to grab a couple of things anyway," I was glad she was willing to spend her time with me after the hell I'd caused her—she deserved the world and I'd been too stupid to just give it to her when I had the chance.

We finished our meal and Maverick slept throughout the rest of the exhibits. He didn't stir again until we were back to the car. He let me buckle him in and he was right back asleep, cozying up to the side of his car seat. I was glad I'd chosen the right one because honestly, I was clueless other than what I'd learned on the internet hours before buying it.

"You picked a good car seat."

As if she read my mind, she was complimenting me, which caught me off guard slightly but I recovered quickly. We made it to the store and she helped me choose outlet covers and clothes in his size, along with showing me the brand of diapers and wipes he used so I'd know what to get. She gave me all of his sizes but it was a lot to remember, so she promised to write it all down for me so I wouldn't forget.

"What kind of bed will he like?"

She looked at all of them before shrugging.

"He's always slept in the bed with me. I don't know which one to tell you. He's only ever stayed with my aunt, but we can try it whenever you're ready," I could tell she was nervous about being away from him.

"Then he can sleep with me, I don't mind."

She seemed satisfied with everything we'd chosen, and she agreed to come back to my house while I organized everything. I planned to fill his room with toys just like at home, so he'd feel at home when he was with me too. I hated the idea of him bouncing from my house to hers but I was in no position to fight it.

"He takes milk before bed, and he usually sleeps about 8 hours through the night. He sleeps really well with me, but it may be a struggle until he gets used to a new place," he finally started to wake up as we pulled into my driveway. I let them inside while I unloaded everything, and she set to work on getting up everything that could be a hazard. I was glad she was comfortable at my house still, and it helped me so I knew what had to be moved out of the way of tiny hands.

"It'll take me a few days but I'll have this place child proof in no time," he was already looking through the items we bought, searching for the toys we'd chosen. She got them open while I tossed all of his new clothes in the wash, and I organized everything else in my room so I'd be prepared when he came to stay.

"Would you be willing to stay for dinner?"

She thought for a moment as she watched Maverick play in the floor, happy to be somewhere new. All at once he stopped and came towards me, his arms up.

"Up," he told me, clapping his hands together when I bent down to get him. He let me carry him around on my hip, and it felt more natural than anything I'd ever felt before. I'd always wanted to be a parent and even though the circumstances weren't perfect, I was elated to finally have a family of my own to care for.

"We can stay," she said finally, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched the two of us. He let me carry him as I gave him a tour of his home away from home, showing him each room before we ended in the kitchen.

"I bet I have something here that you'll love," I had an unopened pack of chocolate chip cookies and he was already reaching for them as I got the package open.

"Here we go," once he had a cookie in each hand, he was pleased, munching on them as we walked around the kitchen to decide on dinner. She finally came to join us, sitting at the table as we stood in front of the fridge.

"I always knew you'd be a good dad."

We hadn't been together long enough to talk about marriage or babies—I assumed she'd gotten pregnant because her birth control failed, because we hadn't been trying, but we weren't exactly being safe. I didn't blame her at all though, because accidents happen, and we had something beautiful to share from whatever might have happened to cause it.

"I'm glad it was with you. I know the way I left things was so terrible and I can't imagine how it must've made you feel, but I couldn't picture myself doing this with anyone else."

She stood up and came towards me, grabbing Maverick as I struggled to carry everything. She sat him down to play and helped me when she could, but mostly she chased him through the house as he got used to things. I would've given any amount of money to spend my days just like this, listening to the two of them play around the house, the little patter of tiny feet around every corner. He made me want to consider slowing down, working a less demanding job so he'd know who I was and I'd get to see him everyday.

"I know your schedule is busy but you can see him whenever you want. I won't ever keep him from you."

We'd just sat down for dinner when she told me that I could have free reign of visiting him, and it was a massive weight off of my shoulders. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them both, if she'd let me.

"I took a couple weeks off from work so I could see you guys," it was a bold move but I saw the almost microscopic smile ghost her lips for a split second.

"I work in the mornings, so he's usually with my aunt until 1 or so, but I can let you know when I've gotten off work," she couldn't keep her eyes off of me, and I could feel the weight of her gaze as Maverick came towards my end of the table. He tugged at my pants until I picked him up, a small yawn escaping his lips. It was nearly 7:30, which I assumed was late for someone as little as him.

"Why don't you guys stay in the spare room? Do you have work tomorrow?"

She shook her head, her mouth slightly agape as she mentally weighed her options.

"Well, it would be a good way to get him used to being here. Do you have milk? You can to get him to sleep if you want," she offered, and I nodded quickly, eager to participate.

"He can wear some of the pajamas I bought him. I'll get them out of the dryer," I couldn't hide my excitement, so she let me get him changed and dressed for bed, showing me how to work the flaps on the diapers. She was happy to teach me, helpful in every way. I'd missed her so much, being around her again was something I'd longed for. She was still reacquainting herself with me, and I'd wait as long as she needed me to, I'd do anything to prove to her that we could raise him together.

"Look at you, cutie! Ready for bed?" She handed him to me and I led her down the hall to the spare room so I could lay him down and let him drink his milk. She looked at me questionably before laying on the opposite side, the three of us huddled together on the full sized bed. It was entirely too short for me but I made it work.

"I can't wait to spend all of my time with him. I never thought I could love someone so quickly," the urge to protect him, keep him safe no matter what. I wanted to be around him all of the time, teach him everything there was to know.

"He's pretty easy to get attached to. It's just been us and occasionally Penelope, so we don't see a lot of people. We're really close because of it. I can't promise he won't throw a fit the first couple times he's away from me. He's done it with my aunt and Penelope too," I raked my fingers through his hair as his eyes fluttered closed, his chest slowing as his body relaxed.

"We'll figure it out together. I—I know it's a lot to ask of you, and you don't have to give me an answer any time soon, but...Would you be willing to try again? With me?"

She took a deep breath as she looked at the two of us, cuddled up in bed together. She bit her bottom lip, eyes frantically scanning us as if she were afraid we might disappear at any minute.

"We'll see how things go, okay? I need to know you're serious. You really hurt me, Aaron. And if you leave again, you're not just leaving me this time—you leave him too. I'd love to be able to move past things and raise him together; I want that for him more than anything. He missed out on his father for a year, the least he deserves are parents that can be good to each other."

We realized we needed to finish the conversation elsewhere since he was sleeping, so I nodded towards the door and we crept out of the room, leaving the door cracked slightly so we could hear him. We went to the living room, and she sat in her usual spot on the couch, like she hadn't skipped a day in my home.

"I'm more than willing to show you that I can be what you need, if you'll give me a chance. You both deserve so much more; I want to give everything to you. It feels like I haven't been away from you for a day—that's how strong my feelings still are for you." It was a big risk, opening up to her like this, but her face softened and she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"I really want to believe you, Aaron. You should know I forgive you, for the way you left. I forgave you a long time ago. I was so mad for so long, and so bitter. My entire pregnancy was miserable because I missed you so badly; I just wanted you to be there. I know I acted mad when you showed up at my door but I was so surprised to see you—I'd been waiting for the day you showed back up."

I wanted to hug her, but I didn't. She wiped at her face and it took me a second to realize she was crying—I wondered how many nights she spent just like this, crying over me. I'd have to learn to forgive myself for what I'd done, because the guilt was ever present.

"I wish I could take it all back. I feel like shit because I missed it all. I don't want to miss anymore—I don't want to miss a second of either one of you. Let me be the person you need. I don't want you doing it all anymore—you deserve someone who puts in just as much effort."

She sniffled and let out a shaky breath before replying, tears on her cheeks.

"There were days I honestly thought I couldn't do it anymore. It's not been easy at all. I'm glad you want to be part of his life. He needs you, Aaron. We're bound together for life now—we'll always be a part of each other now. I know neither of us were expecting it but we got really lucky and now we have a really great kid."

He was more than great, he was spectacular. From his sweet little voice to his deep brown eyes, he was amazing in every way.

"There's no one else I'd rather be bound to."

We talked for a while, until she began to yawn. It was late, and I wanted to make the most of our weekend, so I suggested we go to bed.

"You can sleep in something of mine," I offered, grabbing her s t-shirt so she could go to sleep. She paused as she stood from the couch before she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. It took me half a second to be hugging her back, my grip tight around her.

"I'm really glad you're here," I told her, and if she stayed, I'd never fuck up again.

✨✨✨

You spent the week letting Aaron and Maverick get to know one another. He came over everyday after work, and he'd stay for dinner and to help get Maverick settled for bed, and then he'd head home. It was a week of fighting the urge to kiss him every time you saw him, because you'd missed him that much. You could feel the spark quickly turning into a flame the more time you spent with him.

It was Friday, which meant you could pick Maverick up and start the weekend. You were staying at Aaron's for the weekend, because he wanted Maverick to get used to his house so he could stay with him more often. You and Maverick had made the spare bedroom your own, bringing extra blankets and a pillow from home to keep at his house. You'd fallen easily back into routine with him,  and it had all happened so fast.

You were just about to go pick up Maverick when your aunt asked if he could stay the night and come home in the morning. It wasn't unusual for him to stay with her; she'd offer occasionally to give you a break. The first call you made was to Aaron to let him know.

"Hey," he sounded happy, upbeat even.

"Hey. Mav is going to stay with my Aunt tonight but we can pick him up first thing in the morning. You should know where she lives, just in case," you added, because you'd already discussed it with your aunt and she agreed with you.

"I was looking forward to seeing you; will you come over anyway?"

It only took you a second to say yes before you told him you'd already packed a bag for the weekend. He told you to come over whenever you were ready so you made the drive to his house and knocked on the door. He was dressed in a gray t-shirt and jeans, welcoming you in with a hug as you stepped over the threshold.

"She keeps him sometimes, I should've asked you first. I will next time, I promise."

He shook his head, inviting you to join him on the couch.

"You're his mother. You've been making all the right decisions up to this point, so I trust your judgement."

You nodded, and he handed you the remote, excusing himself long enough to make the two of you a cup of coffee. You picked a movie and he joined you again, your coffee exactly how you liked it. You were shocked that he'd remembered.

"You know, you'll get to do all of the holidays this year. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. We can do it all together if you want," you were open to the idea of starting over with him. He was obviously much more mature than before, and he was more than sorry. He'd been going above and beyond for you and Maverick since he knew he existed. You knew his heart was in the right place, and you knew he was ready now.

"I was just thinking about that this morning. I want to do everything with you guys."

He seemed more sincere than you'd ever heard him, but the last week had shown you how thrilled he was to be a father and have a family to do things with. You were still working on fixing things; he'd been patient, giving you time to adjust to him being back around. You hoped and prayed he stayed for Maverick's sake—he deserved both of his parents.

"Well now you can," you shot back, loosening up a little around him. You'd been scared to make too many plans with him for fear of overwhelming him all at once, but he was a natural—it was like he was made to be a parent, and you were glad Maverick had his dad around. He'd taken to him quickly, falling asleep with him every night since you'd stayed. It had taken you by surprise how quickly Maverick was getting attached to him.

"I know Penelope has met him, but I'd like to introduce him to everyone, if that would be okay."

You nodded, a smile creeping onto your face.

"Aaron, he's your son. You can introduce him whenever you want."

You could see it in his eyes how badly he wanted his family together. You'd never talked about babies, mostly because his job wasn't exactly something you could do and raise a family at the same time. You assumed he didn't want children because of his job, but it couldn't have been further from the truth. He loved the idea of having a family, especially with you.

"I'm glad you came tonight. You've been working so hard, you deserve a night off," he said softly, and you sank further into the cushions because he was right. You'd been busting your ass, but you didn't mind the work, it kept Maverick with everything he wanted.

"I'm glad it's the weekend."

What you really wanted to say was that you were glad you were spending your weekend with him, but you weren't sure how he'd feel about you being so direct, so you held your tongue.

"Me too. I've been thinking about it all week," he replied, sipping from his mug. He was close but still so far away, so you tucked your legs under you so your legs were touching him slightly.

"We're going to the park tomorrow after we pick Maverick up. That's as far as I've gotten in making plans, but I was going to ask you if you'd come to Dave's with me tomorrow night. He invited us to dinner and I want to take you with me," you could tell he was nervous in asking you, but you thought it was a good idea to let everyone meet Maverick.

"Yeah, we can go. That sounds nice," it sounded kind of like you'd be his date, and you didn't mind a bit.

"I know I'll have a lot of explaining to do—especially to Garcia," you could hear the guilt in his voice and as much as he'd helped this week, you wanted to ease some of his worries. He'd been doing a terrific job, and you were proud of him.

"I'll talk to Penelope, don't worry about that. All that matters is you're here now, and you're a really good dad. I knew you would be though," you'd imagined parenting with him your entire pregnancy and beyond. You always hoped there'd be a day you'd run into him so you could tell him about his son.

"I knew he was mine before I met him. As soon as I knew he existed, I felt it. I know that sounds crazy, but Garcia said his name and something in my heart just knew that he was mine."

You grabbed your phone and came a bit closer, pulling up your photos so you could show him the album you'd made. You did it for him, so he could see all of Maverick's milestones, starting with photos from when he was born.

"Here, I have something to show you," you started at the beginning, letting Aaron scroll through every photo and video. The smile he wore while you explained the significance of the different photos was enough to show you how proud he was to be a father.

"That's his first picnic. He didn't love the grass at first but he doesn't mind it now," you'd taken him to do all sorts of things—pictures of you two at the fair, in museums, anything you could think of so you could show him when he was older.

"You're such a good mother. I can't wait to fill my phone with pictures too."

He took his time looking through every photo, but you promised to send him some photos so he had them on his phone too. You'd been worried of how he'd act without Maverick around, but he seemed fine—you could tell he'd missed you just by the way he was so quick to welcome you back in. You had no doubts that he regretted what he'd done, and he was willing to make things right.

"I really like being a mom. I know everyone says that, but he's who I spend all my time with—I like being able to get off work and take him on adventures, even if we don't go far. I want to take him to the beach, maybe next summer," it was truthfully an invitation, if he'd come.

"You've never been either, right?"

You shook your head—he'd always promised to take you to the ocean, but unfortunately you'd never made it that far.

"We could leave Friday night and come back Sunday."

You stared back at him, because you were shocked that he'd suggest going so soon—in a week's time.

"You're serious? Maverick loves riding in a car, so if we left that night, he'd probably sleep most of the way." It would give Aaron time to sleep so he could drive, and if he got tired, you could take turns.

"I'll have to buy a pair of swimming trunks. Do you think he'll like the water?" It was still plenty warm outside, so you'd be able to splash around in the ocean.

"I took him swimming over the summer. He's fine as long as someone's holding him, he didn't like the float we got for him," your aunt had a pool so the two of you would play in it after work sometimes.

"I have so much to get before then. Are you tired? Target is still open," he was already pulling you up, and so the two of you made an evening trip to the store to shop for your upcoming trip.

Aaron bought everything from sunscreen to beach towels. Once he got started, he truly couldn't stop. He spent forever looking through the different types of sunscreen for babies and googling questions about their strength and protection levels before he actually decided on one. His last item was a camera, because he was convinced no one used them anymore, and he wanted you behind the lens capturing everything, since you were so good at it. It made your heart skip a beat, because it felt like your first vacation as a family, something you could all look back on.

"I think we're ready," he decided as he loaded the back of his vehicle. You helped him situate everything and unload it once you'd gotten back to his house. You decided it was time to talk about your future, and where the two of you would go from here. You waited until he'd chosen a movie and made the two of you a cup of coffee. He sat down right next to you, his arm lingering at your side.

"So I've been thinking," you had his attention, he was leaned in, your shoulders barely touching.

"Something good I hope," he said behind his mug before sitting it down so he could turn his body towards you.

"Do you still want to try again? Because we can—I just needed some time to think is all. I needed to make sure you were serious about sticking around."

He held out his hand for you to take, and you let your fingers lace around his in a moment of bravery.

"I'd never leave him, or you. Not now that we have a family together—I want to do everything I can to keep us together. I've always wanted this, and the fact that it's with you makes it even more special for me."

You nodded, knowing that he was being genuine—he'd shown you more of himself in the last week than you had in the six months you'd been together. You had never seen such a patient, loving man; he melted around Maverick, and Maverick had taken to him quickly. They were already bonding, the two of them so tight knit that you'd think Maverick knew him his entire life. He'd often reach for Aaron instead of you, and it made you giddy to see him choosing his dad. You knew it made Aaron's day a little better when Maverick tugged at his pant leg and wanted his attention, you saw the sparkle in his eye when he talked to his child and you knew you were making the right decision.

"But we need to talk about what'll happen when I go back to work. There's no way I can go weeks at a time without seeing him. I've done a lot of thinking this week, and I'm going to transfer into something more stationary. He deserves someone who's around all the time, and so do you."

It sounded perfect but it was the fear of him being unsatisfied somewhere else that kept you wondering how long it would last.

"You're not going to be happy doing something else."

He shook his head, sitting up a little straighter.

"I'm not going to be happy if my son forgets who I am. I won't miss anymore of his life. I've already recommended a new unit chief and I've spoken to Strauss about staying on the team as a consultant—I could teach during the day at the Academy. It would be great for us, and getting out of the field will be good for me."

He'd thought of everything, which led you to believe he was more than serious—he'd made up his mind and he knew what he wanted, and it was to keep his family together.

"I just don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you to do something else. It was never about your job, not for me, but he'd have a hard time understanding why you were gone."

His thumb raked over your knuckles, and you realized how much you'd missed his touch, missed belonging to him. Things would be much more serious this time around, because there was a child involved.

"I know he would. He needs me around, and I don't want him wondering why I disappear for weeks at a time. This way, I'll be home every night, and I get to see you both every day. You don't understand how happy I am that you're willing to give us another chance."

You reached out to cup his face and he leaned into your palm, his lips kissing the pad of your thumb. It had been so long since you touched him, but it felt the exact same—natural, normal; you were hoping the universe had decided he was yours forever now, a family of your own to watch grow and flourish through changes and obstacles. You wanted to do it all with him.

"I always loved you, Aaron, even when you were gone. How could I not? You gave me the greatest gift I could've ever gotten. I think it's so special that we have a child together; I always wanted to raise him with you. I didn't want to do it alone—I didn't mind, but any time I took him to do something, I always wished you were there too."

You let him lay in your lap, his head on your thigh. You played with his hair and let him toy with the hem of your shirt, exposing your stomach underneath.

"You know, at some point, it would be really nice if we could all live together. I know we need to work up to it, but if you're going to be here anyway, you might as well consider moving in."

You knew you'd have to give Maverick time to adjust to everything, you couldn't jump in that fast, not yet. But you definitely saw it in your future if things kept going well.

"Let's give it a couple of weeks. I want Maverick to be completely familiar with your house first. But I definitely wouldn't mind living together; I think it would be good for him."

He nodded, looking up at you with his big brown eyes; you had no doubts given the look on his face that he was about to ask something else—something bigger than you were prepared for.

"When that does happen, would you consider staying home with him? You already work so hard, I'd like to lighten that load for you as much as possible."

You thought for a moment what life would be like if you could be with your son all of the time. You'd be a full time mother and girlfriend—you weren't sure how to feel about it so you sat on it for a second.

"I need to think. Being with Mav all the time would be really good for him," you were thinking out loud and he was helping to sway you, nodding his head along with you.

"You guys could spend all day playing, he'd be so smart. You could take him everywhere, do everything with him."

You smiled down at him, shocked that he was willing to take care of you so you could spend all day with your baby. He wanted what was best for you both, and he essentially wanted to make your life as easy as possible.

"We'll get there. We'll see how everything goes."

You found yourself sharing a bed with him that night, watching television with the lights off. You were laying on his shoulder, only half paying attention to the show—your focus was on what you could see: his body. It looked glorious, stretched out in front of you, his broad chest and long legs. You brought your hand to his abdomen and lifted his shirt, raking your nails across his skin absentmindedly. You felt his breathing hitch, his gaze shifting to you.

"I've missed you so much. I'm happy you're back in my bed."

You chuckled lightly before moving your hand to his chest, dragging your fingers lightly enough to make him shiver.

"Feels just like before," you shot back, just as comfortable with him as you'd been so many years ago.

He sat up all of a sudden, his face mere inches from yours as he scanned your profile carefully, inching forward slightly.

"Can I kiss you? I really want to," he breathed, lips so close you could practically feel the warmth they radiated. Your noses brushed before your mouths connected, his tongue already dominating your mouth as your hands wrapped around his neck to bring him closer. You barely came up for air as you relearned each other, kissing for what felt like forever before he pulled away to look at you.

"Let me make you feel good," he pleaded, hesitating with the fabric of your shirt in his hand. You gave him a small nod and he began to undress you, your shirt falling into the floor. His hands cupped your breasts before he freed them from your bra and took your nipples between his fingers, pinching and rolling them until they were stiff in his grasp. You whimpered into his mouth before he ducked down to capture your nipple with his mouth, taking his time in swirling his tongue around them. He sat completely upright and came to hover over top of you, his fingertips trailing at your sides until he made it to the waistband of your pants. He looked to you for confirmation before he pulled them past your ankles and dropped them behind him.

"You're so gorgeous—I'm so glad you're mine," he confessed as he crawled between your thighs, his finger teasing your slit as he collected a pool of arousal on his fingertip. He made a spectacle of sucking his finger clean before he dove headfirst into your center, his tongue greedy against your bundle of nerves.

"I missed you so much, I never even thought about anyone else," it was true, no one had ever even crossed your mind. There had been opportunities but you turned them all down.

"I wouldn't dream of wanting anyone but you, sweetheart," his tongue flicked at your clit, his fingers teasing your entrance before slipping into you. You felt the pressure begin to build in the pit of your stomach as his fingers curled into you and his lips sucked at your clit in unison, the sensation driving you wild. Your legs shook as you came, muttering a string of profanity as you rode out your high. He wasn't finished—he didn't stop until you'd had a handful of orgasms on his tongue, his face slick with arousal as he devoured your pussy.

"Can't get enough of you," he mumbled into you, his fingers spreading your lips so he could concentrate all of his energy on your throbbing core—you hadn't been touched since the last time you'd been with him, and you'd been desperate for him to take you and use you as he pleased. You'd missed being close to him, intimate—he always made it memorable, making you feel loved and desired.

"Come and kiss me," you begged, and you could feel him smirk against you as he pulled himself away from your center and did as you asked, your essence still on his tongue. He leaned back on his knees and lined up with you, looking up at you as he slid into you slowly—he eased in, shuddering when he was as deep as he could go, buried inside of you.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he began to rotate his hips until he found a steady rhythm, rocking back and forth into you. He watched his cock disappear between your folds, his mouth slightly agape as he fucked you. You loved seeing him like this, blissfully lost in you as he thrusted into you.

"Aaron, you're perfect. Feels amazing," you choked as he picked up the pace, pulling your legs up onto his chest so he could bend them forward and fuck you even deeper, your legs tucked into your chest, his hips pounding against yours. Your back arched as you came hard enough to feel it everywhere. You were momentarily stunned, gripping the back of his legs to somehow pull him deeper into you as you whimpered his name. Your sweet little moans were all the encouragement he needed to keep going; you could tell by his ragged breathing and his tightly knit brows that he was close to his own release.

"Can I cum inside of you?"

You gave him a nod and he spilled into you with a groan, his hands on either side of your head. He kissed you before he slid out of you, grabbing a towel so he could clean you up. When he joined you again, he was pulling the covers over your bodies and pulling you close to him.

"I never stopped loving you either. I've always had it so bad for you, the night I saw you at the bar I knew I had to at least try to get you back. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry that it took so long."

He kissed your forehead and you leaned into him, wrapping your arm around him.

"I'm glad you followed Penelope. I thought for sure if she told you about Maverick that you would show up asking questions. I was mentally preparing myself for you to be pissed at me," you thought for sure he'd be furious with you, but you tried to get into contact with him for months after you found out.

"I was never mad at you, just myself. I was expecting you to send me on my way."

You shook your head, kissing his chest as you nuzzled into his neck.

"I was scared. Scared that even though you wanted confirmation, you weren't going to be around. My dad wasn't around, and I didn't want that for him."

You'd never really opened up to Aaron about your family, but there was a reason you and your aunt were so close.

"I'll always be here for both of you. I swear to you."

✨✨✨

The next morning, Aaron was up before you, already dressed. He was excited to spend the day with Maverick, and he'd get to introduce him to his team later in the evening. You woke up to the smell of coffee, padding down the hall to find him pouring you both a cup.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he kissed your forehead and handed you the mug because he knew you liked to start your mornings with a cup of coffee before anything else.

"Slept so good with you," you blushed, happy to be sharing a bed with him again. You'd slept like a rock all night long, secure in his grasp.

"Me too. Maybe tonight, we can all three share the bed," he'd have to get used to it if you were going to live together, so you nodded happily and drank your coffee so you could start the day. You took a shower and got dressed so you could go pick up Maverick.

When you stepped into your Aunt Claire's living room, you expected Maverick to run straight to you. Instead, he went past you and right towards Aaron.

"Up!" He was more than chipper, he was delighted to see him.

"Well he knows exactly who you are," Claire chimed, smiling wide at the two of them.

"He missed you," you said softly, brushing his hair back as he clung to Aaron. You let him carry him to the car and buckle him in and your next destination was the park. You took Maverick to the big clearing in the middle and sat him down so he could toddle around in whichever direction he pleased, and the two of you followed him around, letting him explore the area. Aaron had his phone out and he'd occasionally take a photo when he caught Maverick smiling or taking an especially big step.

"He's so big. Soon he'll be running and we'll be struggling to keep up," he said, helping him to go down a small orange slide, his hands around Maverick's waist the entire way down so he didn't go too fast.

"He's growing quick. I bet he'll be tall like you," he was a carbon copy of Aaron, from his striking eyes to his lips and ears. Aaron smiled, scooping Maverick up so he could take him to the swings. Mav giggled happily as he swung, which caused Aaron to beam back at him as he pushed him. You took pictures of the two of them, grinning ear to ear, having the time of their life. You were thankful Maverick had his dad around to do things with now, and that your mental load wasn't quite so heavy.

"He loves it!" You could only watch in awe as they played together, your heart drumming wildly in your chest. You were hopeful for your future with him, what life would look like now that you were doing it together. You stood behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He turned around long enough to kiss your head, and then he turned his attention back to Maverick, who was clapping his hands in glee each time he came towards Aaron.

"I think I'll start packing this week," you said casually, making him stop in his tracks to turn and look at you.

"I think I like that idea a lot. I'd be more than happy to help," they wore identical smiles as you admired the two of them, seemingly in their own little world where nothing mattered but Maverick's happiness.

"You're sure about this before I get my hopes up?"

He was letting Maverick out of the swing so he could choose something else to do, the two of you on his heels.

"More than sure. I'd love to wake up and fall asleep with you both everyday," he took your hand as Maverick wandered aimlessly around the park, seeing the sights, curiously picking at the flowers and grass. You simply watched him, amazed that he was already old enough to walk on his own.

"I see the way you are with him and I know how good it'll be for him to see you every day. He loves you," it was obvious that he did; he was crazy about Aaron; he loved seeing him and spending time with him.

"I love him so much."

✨✨✨

After a brief explanation for his absence in Maverick's life, Aaron's team was meeting him and reacquainting themselves with you. You saw the girls often, but it had been ages since you saw everyone else.

"How come you never told me?"

Penelope was at your side in an instant, her arms crossed over her shoulders, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"I didn't know you knew him until that night at the bar, Pen. I had no clue," she nodded, picking Maverick up from his spot on the floor next to you. He hugged her tight and let her hold him, content in her arms.

"I'm glad he has Aaron now. They needed each other," she said softly, and you nodded in agreement. Maverick spotted Aaron walking by Penelope and reached his arms out for him, restless in Penelope's arms until she handed him over to Aaron. He kissed his head and Maverick was content instantly, laying his head against Aaron's chest. You and Penelope exchanged a look before laughing in unison at how attached he was to Aaron.

"Someone became Daddy's boy quick," Morgan chided, patting Aaron's back as he carried him around the garden. He stood across the yard, talking to Dave as you stood in a circle with the girls. He caught your eye and offered you a small wave and a smile as he patted Maverick's back. It had just begun to get dark and Aaron had already filled you in on using Maverick's bed time as an excuse to leave early. He didn't mind making an appearance but he didn't want to be obligated to stay long when he could go home and unwind with the two of you.

"Now that I really look at them together, they look just alike," JJ commented, and you recalled the day he was born, and how much he looked like his father even then. His hair was coal black, his eyes the same chocolate brown as Aaron's after a few months. You had never truly gotten over him because Maverick had been a daily reminder of him—you weren't bitter, you loved remembering how happy you'd been with him before.

"He's doing so well with him. He's a really great father," you bragged, and the girls awe'd together at their broody, stern, former unit chief soft over his little boy.

"You guys look great together. You really look happy," Emily told you, and you felt yourself smile wide. Emily mock gagged at you before laughing playfully, but everyone agreed that the two of you made a stellar pair. Before long, Aaron was excusing himself and coming over to you, so you stepped back from the group.

"He's exhausted. Want to head home?" Your heart skipped a beat at the fact that he considered his house your home already, but you knew as soon as he mentioned wanting you back that he'd accepted you fully into his life and he wanted everything it had to offer with you. You said your goodbyes and let Aaron get Maverick situated while you waited in the passengers seat. When he joined you, the first thing he did was lean across the console to give you a kiss.

"Thank you for coming with me tonight. I was excited to show you two off," he admitted before pulling out and navigating you home.

"I'm glad we got to see everyone. You know, just because you're leaving the team doesn't mean you'll lose them. You'll always be a family," you knew the bond he had with them was strong, and he'd always care for each of them.

"I know. I appreciate you being so supportive through this."

You took his hand, squeezing it lightly as you pulled into the driveway.

"We've got each other's backs. No matter what."

✨✨✨

The week went by quickly. You worked and packed and prepared for your upcoming trip, all with Aaron's help. You'd ended up staying at his house every night, the three of you tucked into his bed like you'd always belonged there. Maverick had no issues adjusting, if anything, he was sleeping better and longer through the night. Aaron was so excited about the trip, and so were you—your first vacation together.

Maverick had stayed with Aaron all week while you worked. He'd offered at the beginning of the week and he did it happily everyday, the two of them attached at the hip all day long. Today was no different; you'd gotten off work and came in to find Aaron in the floor, pushing around a red race car while Maverick clapped and cooed at him.

"Looks like I've been missing all the fun," you sat down next to Aaron, kissing him before opening your arms for Maverick to run into. He hugged you, chattering 'mama mama' the entire time.

"We've been working on saying 'daddy' today. He got really close, but we're not quite there yet," as if on cue, Maverick started to say it, but he could only make out the 'D' sound.

"He'll get there. I'll practice with him too," your bags were already packed and waiting in the back of Aaron's car. You'd opted to leave once it got dark so Mav would sleep easier.

"Was mama his first word?" You shook your head, because his first word had been 'up'. 'Mama' came shortly after. Aaron made you a snack while you played with Maverick, something he'd done everyday after you got off from work.

"I already booked the hotel. It'll only be about a 3 hour drive, which isn't too bad," you'd still have plenty of time to sleep before morning. You'd be checked into the hotel with plenty of time to rest.

"I've been thinking about this all week," you'd been shocked when he'd suggested it but the closer it got, the more excited you were.

"I charged the camera and packed the charger too," he grinned, and you'd noticed the day before he'd bought a photo album sometime during the day while you'd been at work with plans to fill it with photos of the three of you. You were proud of how quickly he'd jumped into dad mode, and how much he seemed to enjoy it.

Aaron let you choose the music as you started your journey. An hour in, Maverick was asleep, snoring in the backseat. You kept Aaron company, the two of you talking about whatever came to mind on the way there. He was wide awake with the help of the coffee you stopped to get along the way.

"This could be something we do every year, take a weekend trip to the beach," he said, your drive already halfway through. You were making great time because there was very little traffic on the roads this late at night.

"I'd be fine with that," you'd go anywhere with him, all he had to do was ask.

"I can't wait to see how he reacts at the beach," Aaron was the most excited you'd ever seen him; you didn't think he was the beach type, but he certainly surprised you.

"I think the sand will confuse him," you giggled, peeking in the backseat to check on him.

"I meant to tell you I bought him a pair of water shoes today."

You loved his initiative, the way he was so attentive to Maverick's needs; you hadn't even thought about water shoes, but Aaron was to the rescue and had thought of everything.

"You're really good at this. I bragged on you all night, you know."

Even in the dark you saw the heat rise to his cheeks; he was trying his hardest to prove himself, but he was doing an incredible job.

"I did the same. You're a terrific mother; we're really lucky to have you. You do so many things to make our lives easier, like how you lay out everything I'll need for the day before you leave, or how you iron my shirts straight out of the dryer. I notice every little thing you do for us, and I love you so much for it."

It was heartwarming to be appreciated; you'd missed having him to cherish you, and you were a little too eager to take care of him now that you were back in his life. It came instinctively to you, like you were always meant to do it.

"I love doing it, it makes me feel needed. I know Maverick needs me, but I like to feel like you do too." He sensed the vulnerability in your voice and was reaching across the console to your grab your hand.

"I've always needed you, more than you'll ever know."

By the time you reached the hotel, you were exhausted. Maverick woke up long enough to take a cup of milk, and he was right back asleep in the bed between you and Aaron. You fell asleep quickly in anticipation for the days to come.

"Babe! Look at him, he loves the water!" Aaron was amazed at Maverick splashing in ankle deep water, occasionally picking at a rock or seashell in the sand. He was stomping his feet, right at Aaron's side in the most shallow part of the water. You were nearby, taking pictures of the two of them. Aaron looked sunkissed already, but he and Maverick had been playing most of the morning. You were planning to leave soon to take a break for lunch and Maverick's nap.

"It's almost noon," you called to him, and so he scooped Mav up and carried him in the direction of the parking lot while you toted your beach bag and the rest of your belongings. It was a short drive from the beach to the hotel, and Maverick was barely able to keep his eyes open on the way.

"He's going to sleep so good," Aaron looked in the rear view mirror at him, rubbing his eyes to try to stay away.

"Daddy," he chirped in the backseat, and Aaron nearly stopped the car in the middle of the road he was so taken aback.

"He said it! Did you hear him?"

You smiled and nodded back at him, because he'd said it plain as day.

"I told you he'd catch on soon," you practiced all afternoon the day prior, and you made sure to call Aaron Daddy whenever you talked to Mav so he'd understand. Aaron was so happy he could burst and it was obvious by the smile he couldn't wipe off his face.

When you got back to the hotel, Aaron got Maverick to sleep and it gave you time to relax before your next big adventure. Aaron wanted to walk along the boardwalk in the evening so Mav could see all the colors of the lights. You had a busy schedule planned for your days at the beach; Aaron had mapped everything out for the three of you.

"He's asleep," he whispered, rounding the corner of your spacious hotel suite. There was a couch and a small living room area, so you sat down and sighed heavily from such a fun filled day.

"I'm sure he was worn out," you laid in Aaron's lap, snuggled up to his leg. He played with your hair, leaning back into the cushions.

"We could all take a nap, go pile up in the bed," he suggested, and it didn't take much convincing for you to climb under the covers with them.

✨✨✨

I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun with anyone. The entire drive home I thought about all of the other places we could take trips to while they slept; they'd been exhausted. I was fine to drive, and we were nearly home.

By the time we reached the house, I gently shook her awake so she could go inside. I got Maverick situated in bed and figured she'd crawl in after, but instead she was making coffee.

"Not sleepy?"

She shook her head, her fingers making their way to my belt loops as she pulled me forward.

"Only a little," we moved to the couch, and as soon as we sat down she was in my lap, her arms wrapping around my neck.

"Had so much fun with you this weekend," she mumbled into my neck, her lips blazing a hot trail against my skin.

"It's going to be weird not seeing you all day tomorrow, can I come over after work?"

She nodded, her lips just below my ear, making me crazy. I'd forgotten how irresistible she was, how easily she could draw me in. I craved her so badly I could barely see straight, undoing the buttons on my shirt blindly so she could yank it off. Her own shirt met the floor next before she leaned forward and attached her lips to mine, moaning lightly into my mouth as my tongue met hers. There were too many layers between us; her hands were on my belt as I unclasped her bra, the two of us stripping each other down in a frenzy. Normally I wouldn't have been so hasty; I loved going slow with her, taking my time, but I was needy and impatient, and from the look on her face, so was she.

"Want you so bad," she squeaked, moving for a second so she could shrug her pants off, her underwear sliding down her legs with them. I could see her arousal glistening on her swollen folds as she mounted my lap and lined up with me, scanning my face to make sure what she was doing was okay. I'd never given her control like this before; it had always been me in charge of my own orgasm and hers. I gave her a nod before she gripped my shoulders and sank down on my length, letting me fill her slowly.

"Fuck, baby. Never felt anything like this before," suddenly, I didn't want any of the power—I let my head hit the cushions while she rode me, bouncing up and down on my cock like she had been made just to satisfy every desire I could think of. She was spectacular, with her brows pulled together slightly, furrowed in concentration as she brought the two of us closer to the edge. I could feel her clenching around me in desperation, she was close, and it caused me to throb uncontrollably inside of her.

"I'm surprised you let me do this," she whimpered, tightening her grip on my shoulders. I used my hands to guide her up and down so she wasn't left doing all of the work, meeting her hips with mine in a perfectly timed thrust; I came immediately, watching her go limp as she found her release too. I held her in place, content with her in my arms for the time being. I wanted to keep her close for a little while longer, before the two of us climbed in bed for the night.

"I love you, Aaron. I'm really glad we have a family together."

She leaned up to kiss me, giving me every ounce of love she had, and I did the same. She'd never know how special it was for me to have her back in my life, and with the greatest blessing I could've asked for. They made my life complete.

"I love you, sweet girl. It's still so surreal for me. I wanted to thank you, for giving this all a second chance. I won't mess it up again."

She slipped on my t-shirt and her sweatpants and we got ready for bed. We'd fallen into such an easy routine, the three of us piled together in my much bigger bed, Maverick in the middle. He left just enough room for us to slip on either side for the night, our hands linked together over the covers. I waited until I heard her breathing slow and I knew she was sleeping peacefully before I even closed my eyes. I couldn't stop thinking about how while I felt, how much I'd needed them in my life. I'd known more happiness in two weeks than I ever knew I deserved—unconditional love from the two most important people in my life had me on cloud nine as I drifted off to sleep, and for the first time in forever, dreams couldn't compare to my real life.

Taglist: @wheelsupkels @periodtcevans

#aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner playlist collection #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #ssa aaron hotchner #ssa hotchner #hotchner #spencer reid #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner fic #ssa hotchner smut

[dirtyoldmanhole]

revelation loveblog with a gunter focus, ch26, 4/4.

this one's the last big one and deals with some really heavy topics, not kidding, so take a drink and/or a break if you need to.

where we left off: corrin defeats gunter.

this is another one of those perfectly framed shots that does such a good job of capturing the emotional subtext.

gunter is cornered.

the big bad divine god that he thought he had (anankos) is silent, leaving him alone to die, watching him as judgmentally in the background as the other royals.

he expects no mercy, still, as a traitor.

there's a bit in my fic (sorry i'll be saying that a lot) where strictly speaking, by nohrian and hoshidan justice codes he'd almost certinally be executed for his actions this day.

remember what I said about the desperation and despair starting to sink in? you really see it here. anankos is still influencing him, but you see the man underneath panic.

gunter has always been prepared (and i truly believe, wanted to) die honorably on the battlefield.

he does not want to die like a cornered animal.

note he's holding a sword now. that's about to get important. (all nohrian knights likely have a sword on them even if they favor lances like he does, or axes.)

Azura starts singing her healing song.

it's a bloody fantastic idea since she's capable of swaying minds with her songstress magic, and it's always been a "good" foil to Anankos' warped magic.

and ....

it's working. partially at least. good on xander for noticing this, too. he's becoming a remarkably decent leader in his own right.

(apologies for the javelin in azura's hand breaking immersion a bit)

the camera angles are exquisite, and absolutely heartbreaking here.

:")

it's notable she doesn't just stop at the bare minimum of what the game outlined as his duties. gunter really went above and beyond in raising her.

(so, yes I have thoughts(tm) about that discipline line, ironically not even in the iddy sense but it's complicated so put a pin for that in a different meta post later.)

that's significant. titles come back.

this time... it's not explicit, but i would bet you cash money it's done out of genuine respect for her, not rote. he's fighting against anankos.

for all of his legitimate resentments, there's that part of him that really does treasure those happy memories.

it's particularly bittersweet/telling considering how much memory is its own traumatic arc for corrin, too, with her mind wipes.

the fact they both hang on so tightly to those moments as an anchor?

...

...

at the last second - he stabs himself with the sword in a fatal disemboweling wound...

...

... and we see black smoke rise out of him in a very explicit gesture that anankos has finally left his mind and body for good, thanks to corrin and azura's efforts.

you ever research disemboweling wounds?

there's a reason why it's consistently ranked up there as one of the ugliest ways to die.

...

(note the title again below)

...

gunter collapses.

...

corrin calls over the healers, and this time, they're able to save him.

...

so.

here's the thing. this is more interpretation/fic stuff, but--

i've always had the long-standing conviction that possession would leave emotional scars remarkably similar to sexual assault given the type of mental violation. (this also had the semi-intentional result of paralleling with Corrin’s mind wipes which is also a violation of a very similar kind. it's a big theme in the fic.)

something else that's a big theme there, and i hope, not without reason, because i see it all over his arc here in revelation - is dignity.

dignity, or the lack thereof.

gunter's a very proud man of his generation; pretty much every time we see him elsewhere in the game there's a consistent focus on control and discipline.

garon was the one that broke him first, but there were many, many instances afterwards that just ground him in the dust, particularly with anankos. here, he doesn't even have the dignity of privacy anymore; he's got the people who he hates the absolute most, watching all of this.

my point here is he is truly at his absolute lowest.

no wonder his endings strongly imply he offs himself after the game.

'revelation's the golden route for everyone' my fucking ass

...

back to the game, sakura/elise heal/stablize him, and he's able to talk again, barely. but at least he's out from under anankos' possession.

here comes the whammers.

gunter decides to come clean.

this isn't for anyone else's benefit. this is just for corrin's.

you know, i just realized. how the hell does he react when he realizes she's a dragon on top of being a thrice-cursed royal? (back eventually when he meets her in the bottomless canyon.)

dragon "anything" (especially with anankos now) was and is going to have some real unpleasant connotations for him.

...

and there it is.

...

"once / was also"

you know, that sure implies garon forced gunter to watch. not just arriving on the aftermath of the scene.

jesus fuck.

....

fuck.

...

...

ngh, that "you all".

yeah, I called it again with that resentment and him absolutely throwing Corrin in there too. it's complicated with her-- there's a reason she's the only one that was able to bring him back at all-- but not for one moment has he ever forgotten that she's a royal too.

here's the other interesting thing. he never tells corrin about his dead wife and kid in conquest's married route with her, even when it's ostensibly "her dad"" that does it.

i don't think it's him being deceptive as much as ... he's satisfied when corrin kills garon, and this is such an old scar that hurts that badly that he just straight up takes it to his grave.

literally the only time we hear is now, against his will.

he bares his soul to you all, and that is you react? jesus, that's tasteless.

fucking christ alive, get your heads out of your arses for once and quit fucking thinking about yourselves.

...

ngh.

..

aaaand there's the other big whammer.

note that he says this when he's not possessed. this isn't anankos twisting a resentment and jacking it sky high to ""debatably"" a falsehood. this is 100% the truth from the horse's mouth.

now, mind, it's not the whole truth.

he would not have let corrin bring him back from the absolute brink if there was nothing but hatreds and resentment - there's undying love, affection, and i genuinely believe, yes devotion there.

but yeah, their relationship is complicated as fuck.

okay, so I've talked before about how this chunk is actually different depending on m!corrin/f!corrin existing in terms of this strongly implying he holds a romantic flame for f!corrin even on revelation's route and not just conquest.

that said that's more of a 'ship manifesto' tangent, and I'd like to focus just on him for this post.

corrin, babe, i don't think you really understand, but props to you for giving a shit. that actually does mean a lot.

we're almost done.

corrin's giving him a remarkably gentle pep talk so he doesn't turn around and disembowel himself again.

that was absolutely the right tack to take.

corrin gets it here. she remembers his family. that more than anything, is what convinces him to stay on for this one last gauntlet to kill anankos for good.

ellipses strike again. given the turmoil he's going through, it makes sense.

...

there'll be one shorter post capturing everything end/post-game, but nothing to this degree.

thanks for reading.

#... that was the single hardest meta post i've ever done and i'm not doing that again. damn. #[ sticks cig in my mouth and mutters ] after this we back to hookers n hornyposting n shitposting mates #krad loveblogs revelations: electric boogaloo

[amberjazmyn]

lightning in a bottle

𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 - lightning in a bottle 

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 - is young jensen a warning? 

𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 - at your sister's wedding, you catch eyes with a teen x jensen after years of not seeing him. the feeling is like lightning in a bottle where you know sparks are flying between the both of you but because of how many people are around, you two both have to hold back before you two are able to be alone together. 

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 - i've already done one teen x jensen chapter before and i loved it so i want to do it again and the next time i'll do a young jared as i also love young jared baha! 

masterlist

- - - 

rachael never expected to see the green-eyed blonde best friend of hers that she hadn't seen since he left for california in her eyeline whilst she talked to a different friend of hers. especially when this "reunion" happened at the wedding of her older sister and now brother-in-law. not that rachael hated that jensen decided to surprise her, it just shocked her that he had even known about her sister's wedding. the thing was, due to jensen coming in from in front of rachael, whilst talking to her friend, she got easily distracted. 

the moment rachael had noticed jensen, it seemed as if all she could focus on was jensen. it was very rude and disheartening from her friend kurt's standpoint, the friend she was talking with. but, she had known jensen way longer than she knew kurt. she and jensen were childhood best friends whereas kurt was a friend she met at the university of texas. who, in honesty, could never be better than jensen. rachael was always going to get distracted by her childhood best friend, even if it was her parents that were in the middle of talking to, it's not just something that was only happening to kurt. 

"...rachael, are you even listening to me?" kurt brings rachael out of her daze with a snap in front of her face plus his loud voice 

"i...i am so sorry kurt but i...can...can we catch up later? i...i've just seen someone else that i didn't even realise was coming to the wedding..." rachael slowly started bringing her voice to a whisper as she moved further from kurt and closer to jensen whose face went back from a downcast look to his signature smile again 

stepping back slightly, catching eyes was jensen was something she had never thought possible after he had left for los angeles to pursue acting whilst rachael stayed in texas for college. the smile on his face caused her to start smiling again and running slightly to get to jensen quicker. 

"...jensen?!" she whispered as she got closer to her best friend, he also started to get excited, his arms opening for the hug he had been waiting too long for 

"rachael," he whispered softly as they went in for that long-awaited hug as rachael scoffed out a shocked light - hugging him as tight as she'd ever hugged anyone

"wha...how? what are you doing here? not that...not that i'm not happy that you're here, i am but just...how...how?!" rachael rambled as jensen just smiled before placing his finger in front of her mouth 

"ssh, rach, come with me. i think it's best if we do this in private..." 

"...jensen? oh my gosh, jensen! i haven't seen you in ages!" just before the two teens could escape from rachael's sister's wedding, her older sister reese rushed over 

"hi...hi reese...um, congratulations on your wedding!" jensen gulped, reese was known to be quite abrasive and all up in people's business and personal space when it didn't involve her or when she wasn't needed or wanted 

"thank you so much! besides, what...what are you doing here?" reese questioned, seemingly a lot more excited to see jensen than her own sister and that kind of rubbed jensen the wrong way

"oh...i...um, i decided to take a break from la whilst rachael is home from college for a bit to catch up and see her again..." jensen smiled nervously which made the butterflies in rachael's tummy go wild - he came back home to see rachael because she was home 

"oh...oh, okay then...i...i'll just leave you two to it then...oh, rachael, didn't see you there squirt, catch you later," 

reese genuinely seemed sad that jensen didn't come for her but to actually catch up with her younger sister. except, she knew she didn't want to make a big deal about it because whilst she could be abrasive and in people's space, she'd never go to the length of a bridezilla or a karen. 

"hello to you too, reese," rachael smiled, feeling slightly awkward as reese still hadn't made a move, quickly realising though as she then rushed off to either find her new husband or her and rachael's shared mother 

the second reese was far away, the two teenagers started to giggle as they then grabbed each other's hands and rushed away out of the wedding venue, both teenagers having their drivers license. they both wanted to catch up with as much privacy as they could considering the popularity jensen was now getting since moving to la. 

"so...you really came back home because you knew i was on break from college?" rachael started the conversation as they sat almost on top of each other in jensen's new car with the california license plate 

"yeah...yeah, i...i did. i really missed you so i...i decided that once you were back home from college that i'd take that as some time and drive back down to texas to visit the family and you, obviously," jensen spoke nervously, making it unbelievably obvious that he has a crush on her as rachael smiled 

rachael wasn't able to control the red blush that flushed her cheeks that made her face heat up to the max, "i missed you too jensen. i was wondering when you were going come back home," rachael smiled as she fiddled around with the rings that lay on jensen's fingers 

she then noticed the one she had given to him, she didn't know that he still wore it, "hold on, you...you still wear that?" rachael then questioned after paying closer attention to the rings on jensen's finger as he smiled and nodded his head 

"of course i do, i've never taken it off since you gave it to me for my birthday..." jensen trailed off shyly 

for context, for jensen's eighteenth birthday, rachael had bought him a crystal blue ring and then for rachael's eighteenth, jensen bought her a crystal green ring because rachael's eyes are blue and jensen's are green. it was so they would never forget each other after they moved away from each other, jensen to california to start his acting career and rachael to austin, texas for college. 

"...i've never taken mine off either..." rachael whispered, inching closer and closer to her best friend 

jensen didn't need anymore clues to find out that rachael also wanted their friendship to be escalated into a relationship so that's what he did. with the classic, i will always love you, by whitney houston playing from reese and her husband's wedding in the background. 

"...i love you so much rachael, you'll always be the reason i come back home..." 

---

this was adorable and i'm obsessed! i now wish i was born in the late nineties so i could've seen a young jensen and young jared :(

ily xx

word count; 1274

#young jensen ackles #fluff #lightning in a bottle

[kairoewrites]

Part two.

Major trigger warning: mentions of r@pe and parental abuse.

You've been driving yourself crazy, the idea of Eddie has been playing on your mind for about a week now. You constantly see him hanging out with the people from hellfire but haven't had the courage to talk to any of them since. You hated this, the idea of not being able to be near him. It wasn't like you couldn't it was more of a fight or flight response and you're body chose to run. There was this ache for his touch and you couldn't shake it, it felt like you would die if you didn't get it. But you couldn't... you couldn't be one of those people. 

"Hey Y/N, what's up man?" Steve 'the hair' Harrington was behind you. he's always been a prick to you ever since that Byers family moved you've been his new target. "what's the matter? someone screw that mouth a bit too much?" He shoved you making you turn around and then it was almost like something clicked "it was that Eddie freak wasn't it? I always knew you were a fag"

"just leave me alone, I'm not in the mood today"

"what are you gonna do, tell your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend" Steve turns around and sees a fist breaking his nose. It took you a moment to process what you just saw, seeing Eddie 'the freak' Munson breaking Steve 'the hair' Harrington's nose was a sight you thought you would never see.

The day went pretty slow after that. You skipped your last two classes and walked until you felt satisfied, you ended up being somewhere unfamiliar to you. You walked a bit further until you saw a lake, it was the one and only 'lovers lake'. You stayed there for a while watching as the wind you move the water around on it's own accord, you had no idea why but you loved being around lakes. They helped clear your mind, you only ever go to the one closest to your house. A moment of clarity hit you and you decided to walk yourself to where he lived. It took you about half an hour but you finally made it to the trailer park 'surely he would be here, right?'  You knocked on the door but to your surprise an older man answered the door.

"What do you want, boy?" 

"hey, sir, I was looking for Eddie. Is he here?"

"sorry kid, you got the wrong place. His place is about three vans down to the left."

"Oh, okay. Sorry for disturbing your day, sir"

You slowly made your way down, you were going through what you were going to say to him. You knew the point you wanted to get across but you didn't know how you were going to say it. You knocked again this time Eddie answered, his hair was all messy and he looked extremely stoned.

"Oh.. hey Y/N. What do want?" it was almost like he was trying to fix his hair because of the way he was playing with it.

"Uh yeah... I was hoping to talk to you about something?" you felt like you were disturbing him so you continued "but if your busy we can wait for another time"

"no, no, no. You're coming inside, I have to know what was so important you had to walk here"

You made your way inside, the caravan had the stench of weed and tobacco and you could also smell coffee over all the intense smells filling your nose.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Eddie asked putting a cigarette in his mouth.

"Uh I kinda wanted to talk about the other night? maybe? I just wanted to explain why I left and kinda just what happened?" Eddies face softened "or not I can leave" You felt your heart rate speed up, you had to talk to him. no, you needed  to talk to him.

"Sure just give me a couple of minutes to sober up some more" 

So you did what he requested and waited, he must over had quite the tolerance because he was pretty much back to normal in no time.

"come sit, stop being so tense. It's making me feel weird" You just let out a small laugh, how could you not be tense, you were about to tell this man, a man you hardly know why you couldn't be you.

"So before I start I know that none of these are excuses for how I've treated you the past week but I just wanted to clear the air by explaining why what happened, happened? if that makes sense?" You already came to terms with the idea that you were going to turn into a disaster but you needed to tell him.

"wait you mean that thing at hellfire? that's forever ago man just-"

"Please Eddie? let me tell you, it's important"

"The floors yours"

You prepared for the fact that you were about to dump all of this shit onto this man that you hardly knew. You were praying that he could still look at you after this.

"When I was younger like middle school age my dad found it weird that I never talked about girls, never really looked at them either. I would lock myself in my room and just learn whatever I could on my guitar or go out and learn new tricks on my skateboard, it was funny because the only thing my dad had to worry about was how bad I was gonna look when I got home... it was shocking, sometimes I would leave the skate park with sores so deep it would freak out all high schoolers out." Eddie was narrowing his eyes and tilting his head, it was like he was trying to make sense of where you were going with this.

"What does this-"

"please" You pleaded. He shrugged giving you the signal to continue.

"There was this boy. Jakk, that was his name. People always made fun of him because of the way it was spelt. He was a huge skater, so I would always see him at the skate park. We were best friends, he always came over and my dad loved him, it was almost like he would treat him as a son and treat me as baggage that he had to carry around. Anyway, one day when Jakk came over we were in my room and I tripped and our lips crashed together, it was an accident. I preached. I preached to my father that it was an accident. But... he walked in at the wrong time and wasn't believing a word coming out of my mouth. So to save you a lot of tears and screams, my dad... my dad molested me. He was 'fucking the fag away'  that was what he called it. His words were, 'since you claim to like dick so much, I'll just have to fuck it out of you'  I actually never said that I did but I guess parents just know, right? So to get to the point of this dump of information you didn't need to know, when we kissed the other night... I didn't hate it, I wanted nothing more then to kiss you back. But, I couldn't. I heard my dads voice in the back of my head and it was like... it was like he was there, watching us and the minute I turn around, he's going to be there and he's going to do it again and again and again, until one day I can't take it anymore and I just give in and... and I can't do that. I can't tolerate going through that and I refuse to go through thinking that something bad is going to happen because... because I like boys " 

Eddie was eyeing you, it made you feel judged. Ridiculed. All you wanted to do was walk out. So that is exactly what you went to do, you got up and made your way to the door until your felt his hand grab your wrist.

"Y/N... it's my turn now. please sit down, I wanna say something" you did what he asked. You weren't sure why, if it was because you actually wanted to see what he had to say or whether you just wanted any sort of excuse not to leave. Either way you sat down and waited, you waited for that hole you just dug yourself to collapse.

"Now look man, I have no idea what it's like to go through that and it's really fucked up that you had to go through something like that. But if this was your way of listing reasons why me and you can't happen... that's a bunch of bullshit" you narrowed your eyes unsure about where he was taking this. "I don't care about what your dad did to you or about this Jakk guy, I couldn't care less about how you reacted after we kissed, even if you would've jumped in my arms and we spun around like ballerinas. If you aren't ready that's fine, I can wait. I don't want you to feel like you have to speed things up because of me, that's not the case at all and I want you to know that I want you for you, who you are now, not who you will be, not for who you have been, for who you are now in this very moment, even with tears streaming down your face." Eddie reached his hands up to clear your tears, you flinched but he continued. His rings felt cold on your soft skin. Every fibre in your being was telling you not to but you were giving in, giving into his touch, his smell, everything about him was making you question everything you tried to hide. While Eddie was wiping your tears away he looked at you, he looked at you before but this time was different it was like he was trying to make a decision. He moved one of his hands down and moved his other hand down to your neck.

"Can I kiss you?" You didn't answer, it took you a second to think. Were you really about to kiss a boy? like really kiss a boy. This was a new experience for you and you weren't sure if you wanted to kiss him but you slowly moved your hand up to his neck and leaned in, within seconds your lips touch and instead of fighting the feeling, you give in. You move your other hand from your lap to his hair and it didn't take very long for your other hand to follow to same action. While your hands were in his hair both of Eddie's hands made their way to your waist, pulling you in. This action shocked you so for pulled on his hair causing him to groan, this reaction made you smirk. That feeling in your stomach came back but instead of it making you pull away, this pulled you deeper into a trance. It was almost like you were in a different universe. You got off and went to straddle him taking off your coat, lips reconnecting when you made your way back onto him. This were getting fast and heated, you weren't ready for this part and pulled away. both of you red and messy, you both looked at each other for what seemed like forever. You loved looking at him. His face was so perfect. His hair was everywhere, his lips were slightly swollen, his cheeks where extremely red and he was staring at you with such puppy dog eyes, it was like they were saying 'please do that again'  

"You're staring" Eddie interrupted your thoughts, smiling.

"I know" 

Neither of you were willing to look away. It was almost like you were afraid that if one of you were to look away this moment, this unique moment would be gone and neither of you were willing to let that go.

"Look man" Eddie stated. "It's already like 5 in the afternoon, did you just wanna stay the night?"

This offer shocked you. You wanted to say yes but were nervous to even consider the idea.

"Where would I even sleep?"

"where ever you want, this couch is pretty comfy or you could sleep with me?" that statement made it feel like something was in your throat, you wanted to sleep in his bed with him but the couch might be the better option. Eddie took the silence as a way of say that you wanted to take the couch and so he stood up and directed to where the blankets and pillows were and he started walking to his room.

"Wait!" Eddie turned around and he had a weird look on his face. Like he was confused or something.

"With you... I want to sleep with you" a smile appeared on his face, it was like goofy little smile that he does. God you loved that smile.

"Well come on then you nervous sucker" with that you followed him into the room and got into bed with him, it felt better than what the couch did. The mattress was thin and small but you swore that it was the most comfy thing you had ever slept on. Within a couple of minutes Eddie could hear you snoring, he didn't mind. He loved the idea that you were comfortable enough with him to sleep that quickly, a smile appeared on his face as he also tried to fall asleep. You two had finally fell asleep in each others arms. Eddie doesn't know this but you found it, you found the place that you belong, you found your home.  

#stranger things #st4 #eddie x male reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson #steve stranger things

[blkkizzat]

Gonna do the ask game🙏🏼✨

4, 11, 22, 42, 50?? :D

Yay ty <3

4. Which cryptyd being do you believe in?

I answered this one already! But I will give a bonus and say I believe in a lot of supernatural things because I have had quite a few supernatural experiences.

Here is one:

Growing up my best friend house was definitely haunted and I spent alot of time in the summers at her place. Her house was build by her family in early 1900s and used to be 2 stories and a basement but there was a fire so they took out the top floor in like 1930s. The only proof there had been a 2nd floor was the stairs that literally went up to nowhere in the entry closet they used as a pantry. If you were ever alone in the home it felt like someone else was with you in the room or behind you. If you slept in her sisters room (her sister ended up moving out to live with other family cause she fell into a deep depression from staying in that room) no matter what it would never get above 50 degrees in that room and at night you could hear someone walking up and down the stairs from her room only... not the basement stairs, the pantry stairs that led up to nowhere since her room was right below it. The biggest thing was is I saw a doppleganger of my friend's stepdad. We were waiting for him to come home so he could drive us to the mall (we were 15) and I went down into the basement (basement was remodeled so everyone's rooms were down there) to find my phone in my friends room. I saw him walk out in front of me from the laundry room. I didnt see his face since I was looking at my phone but I saw him from behind. I didn't greet him because by that point I was like an extra kid so it wasn't weird for me not saying anything to him every time I saw him. He took a left towards his room and I took a right to go upstairs at the end of the hall. I told my friend her dad was home and she was insistent he wasn't cause he would have had to come in from upstairs (the basement door was blocked off so you could only get in through the kitchen). We got super scared and thought there was a robber, locked the basement door and was getting ready to run to a friends house close by when her dad actually came back home wearing the same thing I saw him in. He got a baseball bat and checked the basement but no one was there. This was middle of the day btw, not dark, and the wasn't see-through or anything either. Legit looked like her dad from behind.

Legit have about a half dozen more stories of ghost shit that has happened to me lmfao.

11. Favorite extracurricular activity

I've taken about 4-5 years of pole dance classes but I am out of practice since covid and have only been back to the studio a few times since then. I really want to do it again but time is an issue and the classes are a bit expensive. I have a pole of my own at home but its kinda broken so I have to order more screws to fix it. Definitely would encourage everyone, regardless of gender to try it!

22. What type of person are you?

I did this one too already bb sorry! </3 But I will try to give some more info... hmmm...

I'm really the type of person that has always worried and stressed alot about "not having a life plan" but in my recent years I have learned to just go with the flow more and try to be more forgiving to enjoy the journey since its really more important than the destination. I have had some goals I have reached but hadn't felt satisfied cause I focused too much on the end goal and not the experience getting there. So been trying to give myself more grace!

42. An app you use besides this godforsaken site?

I use IG and discord alot! I have two IGs though a personal one and a hobby one where I show off my doll collection since I collect Ball Jointed Dolls. Most dolls are my personal OCs but I have some JJK themed dolls (Gojo, Inumaki, are completed, Sukuna is almost done and I have Toji and Geto in the works), as well as JJBA and Bleach. I don't mind if anyone is curious and wants to see that IG since it is public but I do post my face sometimes on my stories so probably msg if you want that @.

there is my inumaki doll being attacked by tentacles on that page lmfao

50. Can I tag you in random stuff?

Yass!! Tag away!!!

#kizzatanswers #kizzatmemes #kizzataboutme

[ohraicodoll]

Thank you so much for Red. It’s crazy how much I relate to her. We don’t live in a post apocalyptic world but we all live in our own worlds and sometimes it can feel like us vs them which Red helps me to navigate. She has helped me to feel less ashamed about the way my brain has turned out.

She’s so cathartic and has shown me that even when someone is as rough and ready, or completely rejecting of anything good that comes their way because they ‘don’t deserve it’ or that they will wreck it that some people could them her regardless. If that makes sense.

I especially love the new Tommy x Red friend post that just made me feel so fucking validated again! The way that Red has unusual ways of showing her love/gratitude and the people in her life just try to understand it until they do with no questioning!? To be loved in a way that is so accommodating and significant blows my mind. I know you’re writing fiction but sometimes discovering that this very specific thing is addressed and taken care of by another human being in the world is insane and has given me a bit of hope for my future.

It’s so soothing and Cathartic to read your work . I spent some of my childhood in survival mode and it never truly leaves you. You’ve written it so realistically I am in amazement with every piece of the puzzle you post.

I wish I had an ounce of your talent so that I could explain my love and gratitude for you in a way that was comprehensible. I’m sorry, I just had to say something now though, I’ve been having a weird couple of days and your writing is one of my only forms of escapism.

I am so interested in what inspired you to create such a specifically complex female character like her. I consume a lot of media, have read and literally studied the new era of woman (still hard to give them a specific name) and no character has ever come close to Red. Your talent blows my mind.

Thank you Sam.

Oh goodness, did you make me cry ❤❤

I'm so glad you feel seen and feel a bit of representation and catharsis with her. That's just all I can hope is that you all love the characters I create and the stories as much as I do. You've all kept me motivated and inspired to write her (especially as fast as I have haha).

The idea about Red came because I kinda got tired of only finding pure smut or timid characters in the TLOU fic tag. I love both but Tess was not timid and was more the dominant in the relationship. And I fully get that Joel radiates "I'll take care of you" dom energy but at this point in the apocalypse I doubt there would be many people left that didn't have some aggression in them or that need taking care of. I love character analysis too much to do the same type of character.

I've always been drawn to rage characters. I wrote a whole book series when I was a teen centered around one. And I think I wanted to go back to that since my character in my Sandman series is the opposite. Dahlia is an exploration of trauma responses, especially around acts of anger because that's what I experience. But I started writing with action and violence and someone who is angry all the time and motivated by rage and I wanted to go back to it because writing a character that lacks the moral responses to killing is fascinating. So often we get characters that regret or are remorseful around killing and I don't think that's Joel.

So it was a combo of just writing someone who doesn't regret her violence, doesn't regret killing, and has been alone in the wild for a long time focused only on surviving that they never thought they'd get more. Someone who is accepted for their violence and rage. And that's Red. She is a bunch of fractured pieces held together with string with no coping skills and Joel and Ellie love her either way.

There's the her before the Outbreak, the her that was broken by her sister (who she sees in Ellie), there's the her that was with her group, the her after being alone for years and years, and then the her with Joel and Ellie. Joel never shies away from her and may actually be drawn to her more because of it since there's a piece of that in him. This story is about being seen and accepting your ugliness.

I think being able to jump all over her timeline and continuously build her has been so wonderful and fun. Requests and prompts have been great in building her (though I do change some to make sure they fit the world and who she is). I fully acknowledge she's not a reader but an OC but I cannot write a character who is a blank slate because your past and history dictate your personality and actions (and tbh, most Readers are actually OC's without names or descriptions. I'm old, the x Reader/You thing is new but also just a relabeling of OC's)

I don't know how other writers write, but these characters fully inhabit me when I focus on them. It's why it's hard to switch between stories and characters at time because I can only see through their eyes. I feel their natural body movements, their conversations flow in my head and usually I have to race to write them down somewhere for later. Red is very much a part of me and it's been a joy to explore her and bring her to you all.

So much love and thankfulness to you all ❤❤

#joel miller x feral reader #series: feral #Feral Reader #Raicodoll writes #literally cried getting this #I sometimes felt like my writing wasn't any good especially when I see so many other writers get such big reactions #writing was put on the back burner so long #but Sandman and TLOU somehow brought it back and it's been just so releasing to write again #and find my communities #so believe me when I say I deeply cannot thank you all enough #All your love and enthusiasm has carried me through some dark shit #I'm so stressed with life and I think this series has helped me deal with the grief of losing my grandma in December #You've all helped lift me up

[clatoera]

Hi! I just saw your reply from the anon asking about your thg story! I'm not usually one to send asks or even post on tumblr (never was tbh), but this just hit so close I felt the need to say, me too! That's why I followed you initially, I just gasped at your bio and thought "there's more people like me on here!" and pressed follow!

I too was that insufferable 14 year old. I could not get away with wearing any form of braided hairstyle without being teased that I was trying to be Katniss (I probably was half the time haha). My friends, family, school teachers, everyone knew I was obsessed with the Hunger Games.

It fizzled out gradually for me too. I think it was just the natural progression with the films coming to an end etc etc. It never left though, obviously.

I re read the books before reading the prequel. I'm so with you on these books being a whole different experience now that we're closer to Finnick's age than Katniss and Peeta's. 16 seemed so so old to me, so imagine what i thought of characters like Finnick and Johanna. I can't even comprehend having gone through something like they did at my age now, let alone at 16.

I think back then, the main draw for me was definitely Katniss and Peeta's relationship. It still is one of my favourite things about the books, but after rereading them and the prequel, I agree that there is so much we missed, just by simply being too young to fully comprehend it. I find that I now have a larger interest in the political scope of everything and just the world in general (like...how tf did they rebuild the whole country after mockingay? need to discuss!!)

anyway, sorry for the long "ask". i'm so excited to see another tumblr returner on here! i've been coming back every so often to get content for other things i love, and have only recently taken the plunge and become a little more active.

I suppose there is a sense of shame a lot of us were made to feel about liking the things we like and coming on the internet to form passionate communities around it. I feel the same, it very much is a service to my teen self to come on here and find joy in rediscovering the things I love as well as using this site to explore my new interests. A reclamation, I suppose. I'm a bit more confident now. Back then, I would never, ever have sent asks or made my own posts. I think my 14 year old self is very happy for me, for this little

hope you're having a good day/night, whatever time, where ever you are in the world! :)

Hi hello! I read this as soon as it came in this morning, and wanted to respond, but wanted to be sure to give it the enthusiastic and lengthy response it deserved, that my brain could not formulate at 4 am when I read it.

I am so glad others feel the same. I remember in the early days, I was on Tumblr ( my main blog has existed since 2012 lol), but not active in fandom spaces. I was a fanfic writer. And on Facebook I was REALLY active in fandom and was literally participating in like..Hunger Games RP in Facebook comments. Wild. I was so into it.

Whats really settled with me, as a 25 year old woman, is like..the way mentors had to feel. My baby brother is 17 years old. He is a baby to me. He is just a child to me. I cannot imagine being Johanna or Finnick or Annie, mentoring at my age (or younger, actually), to kids my brothers age. Teenagers feel like Kids and I feel such an immense sisterly, guiding, mentor-ly role to them. Even college kids, I've been a mentor for pre-medicine students in my sorority for years, and those 18 year olds vs me, at 25? massive difference. I cannot imagine watching someone my little brother's age fight to the death. I cannot imagine someone my baby cousin's age, who is 12, fighting someone my brother's age. I cannot imagine watching someone my brother's age lead a war, lead a rebellion, and go through the things Katniss does. I can only imagine the horrors the past Victors learned to feel, and the emotions attached to their tributes every year.

more things that I am horrified by?

Katniss and Peeta. 16 years old. About to be MARRIED in the Capitol.

Gale, 18, working in the mines.

Again, Katniss and Peeta, with the (albeit fake) baby. 17 with a child? I remember being 16 years old, my best friend in the world had a baby. I was there. I remember watching her become a mother far too young, and I have watched ever since the way she has struggled and what it did to her mental health. Two 16/17 year old kids, having a baby, is a horror that should be addressed beyond what I at 16 thought it was. I was so team yes let there be a baby! as a child. But now? Now I see the horror of that. I Have delivered the babies of girls that age. I have held their hands as they are alone in the world. I'm going into a field specifically to help girls and women, in this position especially.

I think to that letter Plutarch wrote Katniss, where he literally says he would put her all through it again for the same outcome.

The youth of these tributes is haunting. If there were capitol doctors around they would be pediatricians. Let that sink in. The things these Victors would need is a pediatrician (also a psychiatrist and a surgeon probably).

Please message me (anyone can actually to talk about this) to talk about these things. The hidden horrors that are missed at 15, that stare you in the face as you reexamine as an adult. I'd love to talk about it in depth. I'd love to talk about how it has shaped me.

But seriously HMU because I want to talk about that most mockingjay rebuilding :)

#thank you so much! #answered asks