#sorta realized i should not do that

[silence-between-seconds]

never thought id do this but screw it

if this post gets 500 notes i will stop hurting myself and try a healthy coping mechanism

#pls dont worry im fine ....mostly #ur allowed to spam #it might help if i know someone cares #even if its someone online #just punched a wall till my hand became numb #sorta realized i should not do that

[braimin]

https://www.tumblr.com/braimin/744706699307401216/consider-law-flirting-with-sanji-and-everyone-in?source=share

Imagined Zoro giving Law the finger behind Sanji's back looking all smug while Sanji is red as a tomato and Law is just pissed

Bestie the shenanigans Zoro gets up to bully Law just to piss him off .. Law is ready to shambles his ass into a marine base or something. Zoro's not even jealous of him or anything, he totally gets why Law is into Sanji. But fucking with him is so easy and hilarious.

Sanji still hasn't noticed Law is into him, and no one has ever pulled him aside and been like 'hey, this guy is hitting on you.' He's just going about his day entirely oblivious. And then suddenly Zoro starts getting really publicly affectionate and he can't understand why? Like it's nice and all but why can't he do this behind closed doors like usual??

Meanwhile every time Zoro does something to make him blush he looks over to Law and flips him the bird when Sanji turns away. He'll say something that makes Sanji go like 'Marimo~' and then looks over to give him the biggest shit-eating grin. It's not even about Sanji anymore, Law's just annoyed that at how prideful Zoro is and it's stupid how much he wants to show off.

The crew is also over it. Like ugh go be gay somewhere else Zoro, no one cares. But he's too busy having fun with the way Sanji gets all embarrassed and how miffed Law gets.

#zosan #one piece #sanji #zoro #Poor Law #Nami buys him drinks as an apology #After a while Sanji will sorta get the situation and actually be really flattered cause he thinks Zoro is for real jealous for once #But then he realizes Zoro is just doing it for shits and giggles #*cue damsel mode* #Because how come youre not actually threatened by this guy? what if I seriously had a thing for swordsmen? #You should be jealousy vying for my attention marimo #Zoro is like you didn't even notice he was hitting you why should I be worried about it?

[dropthecop]

why did my boromir post get notes i'm scared

#my roommate requested Boromir Tags Rant in the replies of that post so i suppose i will put that here #BASICALLY it all boils down (in my brain) to people hating this dude for like. getting mind controlled. like it was NOT HIS FAULT‼️ #local man tries to take and use an object that specifically influences people to want to take and use it; mord at 5 #like ????? #thats the whole POINT of the ring that's the whole reason FRODO had to carry it. he was one of the few people who was super resistant to th #thrall and influence of it #boromir is Just Some Guy (i mean he's like royalty sorta-kinda or whatever but he's just human he doesnt have any special Ring Resistance) #it's NATURAL that he would be tempted #like we SAW what it did to bilbo. we saw him being possessive of it and using it more than he should etc. but when it's bilbo then #apparently people suddenly gain thinking skills and realize that he was being influenced by an outside force #but when it's boromir suddenly its a moral failing???? america explain #plus also like. he was overcome for all of 2 minutes. and as soon as he realized what happened he CRIED bc he was so disgusted w his action #NOT TO MENTION SACRIFICING HIS LIFE FOR MERRY AND PIPPIN #NOT TO MENTION THAT EVEN WHILE INFLUENCED BY EVIL RING 5000 HE STILL ONLY EVER WANTED TO USE THE POWER FOR THE GOOD OF HIS PEOPLE #NOT TO MENTION [gestures at everything to do with faramir] #like. think for 4 seconds. use your brain. would an evil man cry after realizing he was influenced into doing something bad #would an selfish evil man sacrifice his life to save 2 funny hobbits #anyway i like him #also from like an out-of-universe perspective boromir trying to take the ring shows the power of the ring. it shows that it was able to #overcome even this Good Guy Character. you are not supposed to read/see that scene and take away from it ''boromir is bad'' #you are supposed to take away from it ''wow the ring is SO POWERFUL that it could even influence such a good guy as boromir'' #THATS MY OPINION ANYWAY #OH ALSO WE SAW FRODO GET INFLUENCED BY IT. ngl i forgot that happened for a minute. but EVEN FRODO caved for a bit #theres a reason why boromir's death is framed as a tragedy. it's not a bad guy getting what he deserved #it's a good man who will be missed and who died too soon #do you Really think aragorn would have kissed his forehead if he was evil. come on. #AND LIKE PIPPIN SWEARING FEALTY TO DENETHOR OVER IT??? that's a whole other can of worms but AUGH. pippin.......... #Absolutely Agonizing. #can't be bothered to fix the grammar mistakes in this sowwy #my post

[oldirontender]

hate posting about personal life but update to hospital post: im fine !! :) ended up having surgery on like, wednesday or smth but im feeling a lot better !!!! not anywhere close to 100% but i am getting noticeably better every day!! piece of advice: if your stomach hurts everyday for like, 2 months, you should probably go to the doctor LFMAHIFBAKFNBOSKHDOSHHFN

#rambling #ask to tag #i know medical stuff can be triggering so if you need this tagged just tell me :) #i just sorta realized i haven't actually mentioned anything in a while and i don't want people thinking i'm dying #not dying!!! quite the opposite actually !!! #sorry for getting serious on my train blog but it's been a big thing in my life recently and it has impacted my posting so #not that posting should be a priority at all but idk i just like doing it and kinda miss doodling

[lilirot]

The cover of Every Time We Touch for Touchstarved is so bad. I keep trying to give it a chance but nah, it's not working.

#otome talk #I did not realize the singer was the game grumps dude until I read a comment #they probably should have gotten a singer that can actually do moody sorta flat melodramatic rock #also I'll be frank game grumps involvement has me side eyeing #because I'm still mad about never getting the murder mystery mode of dream daddy #that's it #it's that petty

[fnafawoundleftbleedingau]

...partially considering holding off on posting AWLB part 2 until I've got like, the whole thing written, and re-read/reworked in places fully.

#insomniac hyena rambles #idk if I will. just been thinking lately #sorta realized how badly I stifle myself with my work because of someone I know #and just how much anxiety they give me over my hobbies sometimes #sitting aside for a bit and working on that personal project and just #having the space to do whatever was so damn nice and refreshing #and I want my posted works to have that same feeling #i feel like it may be why i keep having trouble with AWLB part 2 and staying focused #I keep looking at it through that anxiety lens they've saddled me with #it may just be this time of the year gettting to me too thats making really consider holding off on AWLB like this too. but. #the other stuff really doesnt help either #sorry for ranting. um #long story short. taking concerns from others into account is fine #but theres a big difference in things that are constructive and actually should be taken into account #and just not making something that's exactly what someone else wanted when you're just trying to create for yourself #don't let anyone pull the joy out of your hobbies for you. you'll just upset yourself. struggled to find joy in your work- #and get frustrated as hell with people.

[altruistic-meme]

i love subconsciously doing things in my writing it’s so fun :)

#im only sorta beng sarcastic skhgskhfd #in this case it was just me realizing 'hey laurent has been calling him the prince a lot and i had been usng the akielon earlier' #and then i realized it was bc laurent was moved to an akielon camp so like. everyone around him is 'the akielon' which means #in order to differentiate that he means damen then his title would be the easiest way to do that #i didn't realize i did that until it hit me sdljfslhf #anyway he should start using damen's name soon i'm about to that scene #:) #tho likely when speaking to him he'll still use his honorific #and bc i have THOUGHTS about akielon's and their small names he'll also be calling him by his full name #:D #i have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS ok #anyway #it's soooo late and im soooo tired but i think im gonna try and hold out one more hour #i'll go to sleep at 4am #just to try and build back my schedule #i have until monday to get it fixed #on monday night i have work and i won't have a choice but to stay up all night :'))) #ANYWAYS #shh ac #wip: laurent stabs damen

[fertbutt]

the dragon prince is such a mixed bag for because I dislike almost everything about it but every so often it pops off so hard like season 3 did not have to be that good but it was. For every 5 bad/awkward/unfunny moments theres 1 incredibly good moment

#sorry if you like the show i just. dont #i mean i do #idk its complicated #after the big hiatus between 3 n 4 i sorta went back and revisited it and realized its not as good as i thought it was #like its actually really hard to sit and watch through the writing just gets on my nerves so bad #also i hate callum. with a passion #he is so ugly and annoying. i hate his voice i hate his hair i hate his personality #i hate raylum too she should be with a girl #also as a dragon enjoyer i like the dragon characters but the dragons models are epugh #rough #they look like dogs which is like my biggest pet peeve with dragon designs #the animation in general is not that great but i can look past that tbh as long as it gets the idea across #but yeah overall a 5/10 but thats just cause it has some bad lows and some great incredible highs

[crucible-memes-4-salem-teens]

#arthur miller #the crucible #classic lit #classic literature #classic lit memes #this but in the way parents only go to school functions for their kids #he's my son actually !!! we r both queer and Plagued by Society. its genetic /j #also realized the other day that we have the same hairline. maybe i am mad about it. idk. kinning should not go that far #some of us are mentally ill. me. i can no longer string together two coherent thoughts. please help #but in other news!! i have a sorta kinda character study about trans!hale and i'm debating posting it when it's finished #should i post that? lemme know. i've tried being as respectful as possible w/ it and its actually very important to me #as an afab trans person. before i post it i *will* have someone read it over and ensure it's not insensitive or creepy #but i want to make sure y'all actually want it ykwim? #anyways. i actually do like the plot of the crucible. i wouldn’t've made a blog about it otherwise. i've never been super fond of #classic lit but something about this play has gripped me and it has nothing to do with the unintentional queer-coding! #that awkward moment when your new comfort characters are all insane <3 #edit! guys that character study? it's finished. just have to find the right time to post it #let hale say fuck 2k22 #edit two: its posted. fellas-

[knyplotrewrite]

Honestly, most of what I say about the Douma misogyny thing could basically be summed up with “Gotouge isn’t ballsy enough to ever tackle it in a character like him” or just in general, also they themselves have some unchecked biases they let bleed into their work

#idk i feel like when it comes to the subject of the portrayal of misogyny #in kny #its like so weird bc there is such a clear lack of conversation when it realistically should have been tackled #ie red light district #but then you get characters like obanai or tengen demeaning women as jokes for the reader to laugh at #it sorta gives me the impression that gotouge knew misogyny isnt good (no duh) but they themselves do not #understand that the way they write the women in their work is reflective of their own learned and subconscious biases #idk what i would compare this to #i guess like how some white creators call themselves not racist #but then go ahead and draw racist caricatures without even realizing it #thats just my thoughts though i honestly might just transform that douma misogyny post into a general kny misogyny post #bc its genuinely very interesting to think about #talking #kny meta #douma

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

I think everyone at mythic quest NEEDS to know brad is not a felon

#brad bakshi #I know. I know that’s what he Wanted #for his street cred or whatever bulldhit #but I think they should know >: ( that he’s just a good person #not that felons can’t be good people #but he’s a good person who willingly went to jail to prevent that bitch Jo from going to jail #even tho she sucks #ok she didn’t deserve it either I think #she sorta did but she’s sooo dumb how do u not realize that’s insider trading

[idoitanyways]

I'm biased, but my theory is that the settings person is just the narrator being masochistic again.

I would like nothing more than for the Narrator to be happy, but he keeps making it so I have to hurt him to progress. I'm literally trying to do everything right, but noooo. I gotta experience how the devs "ruined" the game. I gotta read the bad reviews with him, gotta press the skip button...

Bruh I'll sit in the Zen room for 20 hours for him but I honestly think he's just enjoying himself.

#tspud spoilers #tsp settings person #tsp narrator #tw sex mention #tw cussing #should i also mention the control over the loading screens? #and the title screens #and the bucket in the epilogue? #ok now that im deep in the tags and no one can see this #i realized who i was sorta picturing the narrator as #its fucking grillby #without the body or fire #god damn it now i cant unsee this #why do i do this to myself #edit: actually the fire is ok #i was like #so the fuzzy images in my mind have like the style of undertale fan art #tall and classy probably with a suit #but he doesnt have a face so its not gaster #like he has a head but no eyes or mouth #and then it hit me

[homoeroticvillain]

i should probably get a job, im like getting to the age where that is a thing i should do

#like for experienc mostly #pretty sure like all my cousins are working now #to be fair theyre all older then me but still #and the one irl sorta friend i got back into contact with recently is working at a bakery #so i should probably try and get a job #you know these old ladies who run this like boat cafe thing tried to hire me when i was like 12/13 maybe theyre still looking for someone #cause i would love to work there it was such a vibe #im sure my mum knows like some old lady who needs someone to work at their like thift store or yarn shop or smth #cause that sounds a lot better then whatevet soul crushing tech internship my dad would be able to offer #like ill wait until after my birthday but thats in like 2 weeks? i guess? so yknow not too long #also itd be good to get outta the house and talk to people more #also hi can people congratulate me on the fact ive been bettering myself and improving my lifestyle the past like year ish #sorry im just proud of myself and ive been a lot happier #i know no one else realizing cause i never told people i was struggling before but still #did you catch the part where im sorta in contact with an old irl friend again im so hyped about that #sorry ive just been like... doing better? and i just sorta wish people besides myself would comment on it #klepto talks to himself

[arthur-r]

actually so relieved to run into this weird vent art from like a week before my partner broke up with me and remember how i was actually profoundly unhappy when we were together. like i literally would have broken up with him within the next couple weeks probably. all it would have changed if he hadn’t broke up with me would be that a valentine’s day together would be a lasting painful memory. whereas our relationship is nearly managing to comfortably fade into background noise.

#this art is weird which is why i never posted it shdhdf but i figure it goes along with self-actualization/the silly stupid angel song #i remember the same time i drew this i had drawn a monster based off my now-ex (it’s in a notebook somewhere) #and i just kept drawing and giving it more evil attributes and thinking why am i doing this it’s supposed to be my partner #but like. my subconscious fucking knew. he was basically a demon feeding on my life force #anyway i’m a fan of the bloody keyhole in my chest cause that’s so real #i love when i write or draw something and then like. months later i finally get to the realization that i subconsciously clearly highlighte #like yeah he’s demanding symmetry from me (golden ratio) and fucking clawing to get to my secrets (keyhole) and expecting me to be this #idealized and appealing figure but also refusing to give me any actual affection in response like i’m just a fucking statue to stare at #and then idk i’m bleeding golden blood because WHY NOT shdhdf maybe there’s symbolism i figure out later but i think that part’s just rad #oh and of course a halo like from THAT ONE GUY WHAT IS HIS NAME paintings #i want to say like giorgio but that’s not right. WHO IS THE GUY WHO PAINTS THE GOLD HALOS #GIOTTO i looked it up it’s my best friend giotto!!!! i can’t believe i turned my back on him…. forgot his name…. anyway i love his halos #and i was halfheartedly emulating that while i was drawing shdhdf. so anyway that’s the story of this whole thing #but no it’s so good to notice that actually i was discontented and needed to break out of the pattern. cause like i don’t think i fully #understood that i’m ALLOWED to end something i’m not happy with. so even though i deserved to i wouldn’t have done it. so it’s a lesson now #i’m aware that it’s something i’m able to do and something that i should have done. and i’ll do it earlier next time. ANYWAY sorry for this #ex talk #vent cw #i’m so normal i promise. i’m actually getting really normal about it genuinely though. basically fine kinda sorta almost. shdhdhdf #anyway i hope everybody is doing well. sorry for just throwing stuff around every once in a while and being otherwise absent #lmk if you need anything anytime!!!! love and light /gen #me. my post. mine. #delete later #ask to tag

[arolesbianism]

I think Jackie should be put in a time loop of the month before the earth explodes. I just wanna see what she does. I don't even want it in a "I want her to introspect" sort of way I just want to see her spiral. How long could she manage before she stopped trying to fix it in the same brute force manner she always has gone at her problems with. Would she even stop? Would she even see this as a curse? Would she ever stop for a second to regret? Or would she go in already having regrets?

#rat rambles #oni posting #jackie is a molecule Im examening under a microscope I am looking at the bits and pieces of your character and applying new stimulus to see #what she does I think this woman should be put through situations that she can never escape from #this is all with deep affection to be clear I love jackie I love her for her terrible person cringe #if the time loop solution was to let her employees unionize shed never escape <3 #I <3 middle aged women who just sorta suck #you see this is the problem with olivia and jackie because they're making me realize I do have a type with characters I like but I still #cant place my finger on what it is exactly but they are both such characters that I always fall for #and not only are they alone characters I fall for easily but theyre even doomed toxic yuri together oni targeted me personally

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

#hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #analysis #dissociation #look idk what to tell you all #I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense #when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations #he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything #literally I've been there #the difference between him and me tho #is that he can't show it #he's the king of hell #he has to bluff his way through conversations #but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind #and watch him reply to the things he DID catch #anyways #NEW BLORBO???? #who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel #and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character #I love him #he's so sad