#star trek: discovery: fear itself

[tailsrevane]

2022 in review, part 5: novel first reads

my top ten favorite first reads of this year! more or less! idk it’s harder for me to rank books than other kinds of media sometimes, i feel like. i did my best.

1. wolfsong by t.j. klune (2015)

i already wrote a very long review of this so i’m not gonna rehash it here, but yeah this is a gay werewolf book with a very unique/artistic writing style and i’m pretty sure the main character is literally otherkin. (they don’t use the word “otherkin” but his experiences line up so well it’s kind of scary.) obviously i’m a fan.

2. wolf-speaker by tamora pierce (1994)

omfg i need to get back to this series i love tamora pierce’s writing style so much. i keep alternating between kicking myself that i didn’t read these as a kid & celebrating the fact that i get to read them all now. but, yeah, i need to get back to this series. and her stuff in general.

3. any way the wind blows by rainbow rowell (2021)

this is far & away the best book of the simon snow series. it’s just such a godsdamned satisfying ending.

i mean, okay, i do find it a little off-putting that i’m meant to believe that penny is heterosexual, but we can’t win ‘em all. but also we get to see her rules lawyer a fucking demon??? and be a stone cold badass in the process? so i can’t really complain about how that went.

the writing of simon & baz’s intimacy with each other was fucking sublime. it was so heartful & honest, i just ached for them.

i’m a little disappointed that this was such a definitive ending because i could’ve kept following these characters for like a dozen more books, but honestly it was such a perfect ending it’s kind of hard to argue with it.

4. birth of the firebringer by meredith ann pierce (1985)

yeah i can’t imagine what i found appealing about the unicorn book with narration from what feels like an awfully authentic animal headspace whose culture is SUPER pagan and where the main perils are 1) vore, 2) mind control, 3) literally a tornado. just truly drawing a blank here.

5. wayward son by rainbow rowell (2019)

i’m so glad the harry potter books never did an american roadtrip because holy shit it would have been insufferable. this, on the other hand, is brilliant.

everyone at ren fairs is apparently actually a witch or supernatural creature? vampires run las vegas? techbros are trying to contract vampirism for incredibly dumb reasons? yes, yes, yes. perfect.

6. star trek: discovery: dead endless by dave galanter (2019)

we gays are so powerful, you guys. i mean, the fucking butterfly effect of the awful season 1 of discovery unironically employing the bury your gays trope resulting in us ending up with this profic au where culber’s ghost finds his way onto a discovery commanded by a michael burnham who never mutineed and has family dinners with fleet captain georgiou & surrogate sibling saru, and he just immediately starts making out with au stamets who starts working on bending the laws of physics to the will of his multiverse gay love story.

sometimes profic is just fanfic with resources & a stamp of legitimacy, and when it is it’s glorious.

7. star trek: discovery: fear itself by james swallow (2018)

the discovery novels are shockingly good. like, this one is so action packed while also being such a great character study of saru. it honestly surpasses what the show was doing contemporaneously. i’d really like to see more comics or novels set on the shenzhou.

8. murder on the orient express by agatha christie (1934)

this was almost certainly hindered by the fact that i had seen so many adaptations of it by the time i read it that i felt like i had already read it, but i nevertheless enjoyed it quite a bit and am eager to read more mystery novels (and christie novels specifically.)

9. lunatic fringe by allison moon (2011)

patient worldbuilding, imperfect but well-meaning characters having mostly (mostly) good-faith conflicts over strategy, and L E S B I A N   W E R E W O L V E S. yeah, that’ll work.

10. blood and chocolate by annette curtis klause (1997)

this book’s picture is in the dictionary under “problematic fave,” but this really is delightful if you can get past all the ways in which it’s awful. and i can, clearly.

#books #year in review #2022 in review #wolfsong #tj klune #wolf-speaker #tamora pierce #simon snow series #any way the wind blows #wayward son #rainbow rowell #birth of the firebringer #meredith ann pierce #star trek discovery #star trek: discovery: dead endless #dave galanter #star trek #star trek: discovery: fear itself #james swallow #murder on the orient express #agatha christie #lunatic fringe book #allison moon #tales of the pack #blood and chocolate #blood and chocolate book #annette curtis klause

[warningsine]

By the time “Queer for Fear” gets to Alfred Hitchcock, the Shudder docu-series has already outed Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, “Nosferatu” director F.W. Murnau, “Frankenstein” director James Whale, and Michael Feinstein (as a huge horror fan). Subtitled “The History of Queer Horror,” the four-part series traces the queer origins of the horror genre, from its genesis with Shelley’s “Frankenstein” all the way to “American Horror Story.” Though the methods change over the decades — the otherness of early monsters gives way to Hitchcock’s not-so-subtle subtext which leads to the outright sex appeal of “The Hunger” — the thread is there all along.

By the time “Queer for Fear” gets to Alfred Hitchcock, the Shudder docu-series has already outed Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, “Nosferatu” director F.W. Murnau, “Frankenstein” director James Whale, and Michael Feinstein (as a huge horror fan). Subtitled “The History of Queer Horror,” the four-part series traces the queer origins of the horror genre, from its genesis with Shelley’s “Frankenstein” all the way to “American Horror Story.” Though the methods change over the decades — the otherness of early monsters gives way to Hitchcock’s not-so-subtle subtext which leads to the outright sex appeal of “The Hunger” — the thread is there all along.

Through four jam-packed and fascinating episodes, “Queer for Fear” makes its case resoundingly clear: The history of queer horror is the history of horror itself. That’s something the show’s executive producer Bryan Fuller, creator of “Hannibal,” “Pushing Daisies,” and “Star Trek: Discovery,” suspected all along.

“I remember in seventh grade after reading ‘Dracula,’ having feelings about it and going, ‘Something more is going on here.’ Then looking up Bram Stoker, seeing he’s married with kids and being disappointed,” Fuller told IndieWire during a recent interview. “So there’s something about a little bit of wish fulfillment where it’s like, I knew it. I knew there was something queer about this story. That’s incredibly satisfying.”

“Queer for Fear” enlists a dizzying array of filmmakers, actors, and culture enthusiasts to weave its expansive tale. They include Kimberly Peirce, Justin Simien, Lea DeLaria, Karyn Kusama, Doug Jones, Don Mancini, Leslye Headland, Oz Perkins, and yes, crooner Michael Feinstein. The subjects share their personal queer takes on various genre classics, parsing out both hidden and blatant messages like little gay detectives.

“Now we’re in a place where queer representation can be much more explicit, but I miss the codes,” Fuller said. “I miss the fun of it. I love interpreting a poem, considering the poet’s history and contextualizing what they’re writing about. I feel like The Hays Code really made queer storytelling more creative because we got to use monster metaphors to represent us and these stories. I love that. Anything that’s explicit and direct isn’t as interesting to me, even though it’s important socially for queer people to see themselves represented explicitly on screen.”

That’s not to say he doesn’t celebrate the major gains made for LGBTQ representation onscreen over the last two decades. As a writer working in Hollywood since 2000, Fuller dealt with his fair share of censorship when it came to queer characters.

“I think there always are going to be compromises. I mean, you look at ‘Pushing Daisies’ and Olive Snook was supposed to be a lesbian popup book author. I wasn’t allowed to do that, but that’s 15 years ago,” he said. “I worked on shows that had queer characters, but they couldn’t kiss. [That] felt very frustrating. I certainly had queer characters that an actor’s manager would call and say, ‘There’s no way I would allow my client to play queer. The worst thing my client could do is play queer.’ I’m like, ‘Fuck you!’ So I’ve lived through that experience. It’s definitely a different landscape now. There’s an openness to it and an encouragement of it that we never had before.”

As the series charts, horror has always included an element of social criticism. But Jordan Peele took that to a new level, redefining the landscape of that particular sub-genre with “Get Out” in 2017. From niche to blockbuster, almost every horror movie made after “Get Out” has attempted to say something about societal ills, for better or worse. But where is the gay “Get Out”?

“Jordan Peele has made a bigger impact on the horror genre than anybody has in decades,” said Fuller. “It’s a steeper hill to climb and perhaps it might take a little bit longer to achieve what Jordan achieved with ‘Get Out.’ I do think it’s a massive achievement that benefits everybody and also benefits queer storylines. ‘Get Out’ opened doors for queer storytellers as well. … I think there is going to be the gay ‘Get Out’ that breaks through in a meaningful way. We just haven’t seen it yet.”

#olive snook was supposed to be gay <3 #queer for fear

[talentforlying]

🗒& 🤔

🗒 — what is/are your favorite genre(s)/theme(s) to write?

as you can probably tell from the blog, supernatural and psychological horror are big favorites of mine. just as there's so many different and fascinating ways fear can present itself within the human experience, both internally and externally, there's also so many different ways of overcoming or mastering those fears, be it for better or worse, and i love the transformative element with all my heart. i also adore writing within sci-fi worlds, particularly sci-fi horror, action, exploration, and all flavors of robot stories; like constantine, i am also a huge star trek and doctor who nerd, and i love both the fascination and fear with/of the unknown. big fan of testing the limits of the indomitable human spirit, whether it succeeds, fails, or a secret third thing.

as for themes: transformation (physical, emotional, spiritual), repression, the different shades of guilt, defying fate, conflict (moral, internal, interpersonal, irreconcilable, ideals), loss of self, discovering & exploring purpose, the epic highs and lows of building/rebuilding yourself from scratch, push-and-pull dynamics (i.e. we both want very different things here and are both trying to get them w/o completely alienating the other person, so how far am i willing to bend to help you achieve your goals? are you willing to go that far or further for me in turn?), improbable found families, saying 'fuck you' to the inevitable, pushing your luck until it snaps, the price of forgiveness/the price of its absence.

i'm probably missing some crucial ones lmao but tl;dr i like to dig into the psyche and pit it against the impulses of the heart.

🤔 — what genre(s)/theme(s) do you struggle to write the most?

slice of life stuff is tough for me because i personally feel emotions either very strongly or very little, so i struggle to fill in the time in situations that lack the pre-existence of an adrenaline response/a sense of urgency. romance is also difficult for similar reasons, but also because i'm dramatic as hell and enjoy exploring characters who may have complicated relationships with intimacy and commitment (COUGH constantine COUGH), though i think i'm getting better with practice! action can also be hard to write because i simply have Not read enough stories where physical fighting is more central to the plot other than as a brief, emotional peak, so i feel like i lack the language to make it smooth; but i do like to write action scenes frequently and have one in...just about every fic i've ever written lmao so i guess i like to challenge myself.

as for themes, characters learning to mellow out and give up that supercharged fight-or-flight response and healthy parental relationships are the only ones that come to mind atm. i feel like i love to find themes i'd never considered before in a story or a character dynamic, so i wouldn't say i consider any hard to reach so much as they are discoveries to make, if that makes sense.

@fightwing / MUN QUESTIONS

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #fightwing #this was Fascinating to consider lmao i hope any of this makes sense #( answered. ) THIS IS JOHN CONSTANTINE. FUCK OFF.

[onaperduamedee]

1, 2, 6, 8, 10 for any/all Star Trek :)

Hello again and thank you for your asks!

This got long so I am giving an out to my follower :

1. What originally drew me to it:

Okay, needed background here: I have tried to get into Star Trek in the past, both the original series and TNG. It didn't impress me. I didn't have time for this many men on a ship and the world itself wasn't enough to keep me invested. Here comes Discovery, with her Captain Georgiou and her First Officer Michael Burnham... Yeah, now you have my attention.

Even if Philippa didn't stay long, I was so drawn to Michael's story (and the terrible injustice she suffered, but that's for another time) it didn't really matter that the worldbuilding wasn't as compelling to me as Doctor Who or other sci-fi shows. Women fronting the show got me into Star Trek, and now I started watching Voyager and feel way more generous toward TNG.

So, whenever I see people complaining about the changes made to an adaptation or reboot that supposedly betray the author, I want to say "hello, those changes were for me. They got me into this fictional world, they helped me appreciate the greatness of these stories I had dismissed before. How can it be bad?"

2. What I like most and least about it:

I like that the show is essentially about a system that holds at its core humanism or universalism. It's about the people in this system and how human and alien and different and similar they all are. In a way, it is an office drama set in an administration, except the civil servants in this story have to fly across an asteroid field while leaking oxygen every once in a while.

I don't like the veiled military propaganda and how globalised the vision sometimes feels. It isn't always the case, but it does at times feel like an American utopia where the US expanded and unified an infinity of worlds under the Federation. It's probably a bit difficult to explain to North Americans, but it's a franchise that feels very American and it can be at odds with the proclaimed universal ideals.

6. A character I'd like to frame and hang on my wall and admire like a work of art:

MICHAEL BURNHAM

I used to want to know so much more about her and the way she ticks, how she is the way she is, what she is? She has always been layered and fascinating, but these past seasons she let go of so much guilt burdening her. Seeing her blossom as captain has truly been the most joyous experience, to the point where I could almost (but not quite) forgive the show for the hoops it made her go through. She is a joy of a character, both because she is incredibly entertaining (adrenaline addict much?) and because she is an endless source of questions and mental essays to me. Also, she's played by Sonequa Martin Green.

8. The character with the greatest wasted/unexplored potential:

Philippa, both prime and mirror, always and forever. I still can't believe the show had Philippa Prime and went "nah, this one's boring alive." Mirrorgiou is another matter since what we got was extremely enjoyable and I thought we were getting more, yet I am not holding my hopes up for a Mirrorgiou spin-off anymore. I fear a morally dubious Asian queer ex-spy in her sixties does not seem marketable enough to the higher-ups.

10. A ship I would gladly go down with... and then become Davey Jones, so I can continue to captain said ship for eternity

Milippa, both prime and mirror/prime.

A gift of a ship, with a dream of a blend, mixing duty, remorse, familiarity, devotion and banter, with a delicious twist of monsterisation when Philippa comes back as the Emperor. What do you do when the person who was your safe place, your rock, you blueprint for seven years comes back as something twisted and cruel? Do you kill her? Do you let her run free and tarnish the legacy of your beloved? Do you resent her? Pity her? Do you despise yourself for still feeling so much for her? If Philippa is Michael's Patroclus, Mirrorgiou is her undead Eurydice and I am here for that. The thing is, while both are completely different dynamics, they feed of each other so deliciously. It's like a perpetual angst machine.

#Ramblings #Rescribo #Oh no do not feed the Milippa monster #Thank you for asking though #I just got very talkative #Sorry

[alanjporterwriter]

Books read in 2022 #48 - “Star Trek Discovery: Fear Itself” by James Swallow.

One of the delights of Star Trek Discovery for me has been the character of Saru (played brilliantly by Doug Jones), and he has become my favorite member of the ensemble cast.

This story focuses on Saru earlier in his career when he held the rank of Lieutenant and was struggling to find his role in Starfleet. Due to his own sense of duty and curiosity he finds himself thrown into a position of leadership for the first time and must learn to balance his race’s own fear-driven culture with the needs of managing an escalating crisis and bringing a crew home safely.

It’s a well written, insight into one of the most fascinating recent additions to the Star Trek universe.

#books #reviews #2022 reads

[hedgehogreads]

Lieutenant Saru never enters a room without knowing at least three ways out of it, Commander ch’Theloh had once said of him, and the Andorian had been mocking him. But he was right, and Saru saw nothing unwise about that.

 - James Swallow, Fear Itself

#Star Trek #James Swallow #Fear Itself #Star Trek Discovery #caution

[hypatiavex]

I finally found books that even I can't find it anywhere for free

#anyways if anyone has star trek discovery novels pls help #Im too poor now to buy fear itself and drastic measures

[strawwritesfic]

Kelvin!Jim Kirk x Female!Reader: Straight on ‘Til Morning

Summary: Earth can occasionally be as full of void and longing as the final frontier.

Requested Prompt: “I’ll still be here when you get back kinda love.”

Rating/Warnings/Tags: T (sexual references, bad language; condescension toward military wives is not intended to reflect the personal views of the author but rather the generally condescending manner of the early seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation; Starfleet Instructor!Reader; married!Kirk; married!Reader; reference made to Discovery-introduced species; reference made to a Voyager episode; referenced Hikaru/Ben; referenced Spock/Urhura; post-Star Trek Beyond)

Tag List: @imaginesfire​

Straight on ‘Til Morning

Once upon a time on earth (and really not so long ago given the planet’s history), a group of people existed called "military wives.” They came into being because humanity then still often marched away to war…and even into the more recent years most people still assumed it would be a woman waiting pensively at home for a man. You knew the stories of such women well, having written your dissertation on the subject of military wives years ago.

How young you had been then! Young enough, in fact, to have believed yourself to have escaped any possibility of the same happening to you. Their fate could not touch you in your more enlightened time. Wars were a thing of the past! Women being only fit to stay at home couldn’t even be imagined anymore! And if any did wait, they did not only have to wait for a man! You, with your fresh doctorate in hand and all the galaxy before you, would never be caught sitting at home longing for your husband to return from his dangerous mission.

You failed to heed one other thing you had learned through all your studies: History itself had a great passion for irony.

It was not that you had spent all these years oblivious to your situation. Your colleagues up at Starfleet Academy enjoyed ribbing you about it far too much for you to pretend it hadn’t been happening. Still you had never felt your foolishness so acutely as you did that night.

One irony followed another. Students in your Introduction to Earth History course knew better than to try slinking into class late. Try, and they’d be lucky to find the doors barred to their entrance. Yet it was for the sake of one Xahean student—always a race thirsty for knowledge, but this boy even more so—that you were now late yourself to something far more important than a basic credit class.

The night was pitch dark over your apartment building as you raced up to it from the nearest transporter pad. Your haste had nothing to do with the lateness of the hour, however. This deep in Federation territory, you didn’t have to fear the dark or anything that might hide within it. Plenty of streetlights hummed softly nearby to light your path. You threw yourself into the lift the second you neared, wrenched off your boots…and then could do nothing more than wait impatiently until the glossy white elevator at last deposited you on your own floor.

“Excuse me!” you said as you got off.

A collection of Starfleet officers, all in dress uniform, milled around outside the doors. None of them took kindly to you shoving through them in the direction of your home. They also probably didn’t appreciate that you’d pulled your shoes off during your elevator ride. You weren’t exactly the picture of decorum just then.

As though what any of them thought mattered to you at the moment. Their appearances only served to remind you of how late you were. Without bothering to apologize for your behavior, you rounded the corner to sprint straight into your own dark apartment, the doors of which opened of their own accord the moment you neared.

They sealed themselves behind you at once, too. The lights inside flickered into life after a few seconds of you breathing heavily by the front door. You could allow yourself only those few seconds. Once you could see, you set to peeling off your yellow uniform with its hidden zipper while you hopped in the general direction of your bedroom. By the time you entered the dark bedroom—no lights there were programmed to come on with motion—you were able to kick the dress off completely as you headed for the closet. All you would have time for was putting on your dress uniform. You’d only be even later if you took time to freshen up your hair and makeup.

“I gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting the show, but I’m sure not disappointed that I caught it.”

The male voice issued from somewhere to your left. Gasping, you whirled in the direction of your bed. Someone lay atop it, propped up by your set of decorative pillows. You couldn’t see who it was, and of course you didn’t have a phaser on your person. Your heartbeat ratcheted up as your mind raced to think of some way out of this situation. Then the light on the right bedside table flicked on, revealing the dark shape on the comforter to be none other than:

“Jim!” you gasped.

“In the flesh.”

His sudden appearance caused all your higher brain functions to cease. Jim. Jim was here. Jim was on your bed. You could get yourself to do nothing more than gape at him as he slowly drew his stunning blue eyes up your half-naked body. Their reaching your chest was what caused you to snap out of your trance. Hastily, you bent, snatched up your discarded clothes, and held them to your abdomen.

“What are you doing here?” you demanded, though the shaking in your voice ruined your waspish intentions.

Jim, of course, looked a little disappointed at your rush to cover yourself up. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? I’ve been scheduled to get back to Earth today for weeks. Is this why you didn’t show up? You got the date wrong?”

“I know when you were scheduled to return,” you said. “I just—but—what are you doing here?”

“I live here,” he answered in his most patronizing tone.

“Oh, shut up. That’s not what I meant, and you know it. I know when you were due to arrive, and I know this is where you would obviously come after, but—”

“But what?”

A familiar smile lit up his handsome face. You felt your insides turn to goo at the sight of it. That smile had always made you melt, but having it sprung upon you after years of absence made the effect all that much worse. Clearing your throat did not seem to convince him that you didn’t notice.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the process of putting into spacedock as we speak?” you asked.

“Nah. Enterprise docked an hour ago. Five years, and you still couldn’t be there to greet me. Tell me the truth, [Name]. Has there been someone else?”

It could not be more obvious that Jim wanted to pick up right where he’d left off: teasing you mercilessly. You understood well what he was doing, and yet you somehow couldn’t keep your hackles from being raised.

“No, there’s no one else! I got caught late with a student. You know how Xaheans can get. We hardly touched the Eugenics Wars, and he wanted some suggestions for articles for further study, and I just…I…”

The way he stood was a poem in its own right, especially since he hadn’t yet changed out of his own uniform. He knew what his body did to you. That was the only explanation of why he moved so deliberately toward you.

“You just…lost track of time,” he finished for you as soon as he reached you. “I remember how you can get when you’ve got an eager audience. I hope that means I won’t have to listen to any history lectures before we get to tonight’s main event.”

Had Jim always been that tall? Had his eyes always been that blue? Had his lips always been so soft-looking? Seeing him up close after all this time made you feel like you were starting from square one, gazing at the handsome new student from across the courtyard after he’d just caused a huge disruption in the middle of Inter-Stellar Ethnology.

This time you didn’t just clear you throat, your ducked your head so you wouldn’t keep staring. “Yes. I did lose track of time. I really did intend to be there to greet you. Anyway, my absence does not explain why you are here. If I remember correctly, there was supposed to be some sort of ceremony after your crew disembarked.”

A soft pressure on your chin turned out to be his hand pushing your face up to his. His eyes twinkled mischievously. “I decided to skip it.”

“What? You can’t just skip something like that! What were you thinking? I bowled over half a dozen admirals on their way to that on my over here!”

“Don’t be such a Kelpian. No one is going to miss me.”

“Jim, you’re the captain,” you said, then added uncertainly, “aren’t you?”

“What, you think I got demoted?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time. Five years would be a record for you.”

“I’ll have you know I almost got promoted to vice admiral.”

“Too bad you got lost in space and missed the opportunity.”

He had not let your chin go, and you could feel your skin there warming as his eyes narrowed with mirth. “Forgive me for taking time out of my busy schedule to save the galaxy. I wasn’t even aware they’d notified you of that little incident.”

“They thought you’d died. Why wouldn’t they tell your wife?”

“My wife!” With his free hand, Jim took your left one to admire the ring on the finger there. “Are you now? Are you still?”

“Jim Kirk, if you skipped out on doing your duty because you had to run back here and make sure I wasn’t in bed with some Andorian—”

“I thought it would be a Tellarite, actually.”

What response was there to that other than to give him a light swat? You laughed as you did it, then buried your face against his neck. Jim didn’t smell quite right—something familiar underneath the sterile smell of starship. How long would it take to return him to normal? How soon after that would he need to board the Enterprise? Just how much more time could Starfleet keep him out there in the middle of space?

You didn’t voice any of these worries. Instead, you said, “I didn’t sleep with anyone else while you were gone.”

“Good. Neither did I.”

Drawing away, you shot him a knowing look.

“What? I’m a married man now. You can ask Bones if you don’t believe me. Gotta ask the ship’s doctor for permission whenever you want to have sex with a new species these days.”

“I wonder why that rule got put on the record,” you mused.

“Hey, now.” His voice was too soft and fond to be a real warning.

Before you could really get into the old rhythm of verbally sparring with him, Jim shifted you away from his shoulder and pressed his mouth to yours. He’d never disappointed you with the length of a kiss prior to that night—but on this occasion he pulled away from you far too soon. You let out a soft moan of disappointment that he pointedly ignored.

“Like I said, I’m a married man these days. That’s why I left before the ceremony started. I missed you.”

“Using me as an excuse, Captain Kirk?” you asked lightly, tracing the contour of his brow with your thumb. “You’re hardly the only man on the Enterprise with a spouse waiting for you at home. Hikaru—”

“—is a better man than I am. You don’t need to remind me. Anyway, Demora eats that stuff up. No way is Ben missing a minute of tonight. The Sulus don’t count.”

He caught your hand without giving you a moment to think of a retort. Doing so became even more difficult when he kissed your palm, your wrist, all the way up your inner arm to your elbow. Unable to help yourself, you giggled, dropping your makeshift curtain back to the floor in the process.

“Jim, we really should go before someone notices the man of the hour is gone,” you protested.

“You mean we should go before I really get you hot and bothered. I think it’s a little late for that.” In one fell swoop, he scooped you off the ground and into his arms. “You worry too much. Spock’s there. That’s who they all want to hear give a long, boring speech anyway.”

You were already lost. Jim knew he wasn’t going to get you back in a dress now. Still, you felt as though you had to make one last attempt at convincing him to do his duty to Starfleet even as you interlaced your fingers behind his neck. “Maybe Spock wants to go home. Did you ever think of that?”

“Please. Spock’s not married. His girlfriend’s stuck with him all night, too.”

“His girlfriend? Did Spock and Uhura—”

“I never thought I’d say this, but I really don’t care whose uniform my first officer wants to get into tonight. There’s only one uniform I want to get into. It’d be a shame to ruin the moment since you’ve already spared me the trouble of removing that uniform, too.”

He had you resting on your back on top of the bed in a matter of seconds. If you ever told him how often you’d dreamed about this very scenario in his absence, he’d never let you hear the end of it. Once again his eyes moved up your body, lingering especially on the areas you’d so quickly covered. Then at last his lips brushed your neck…

…Only for him to stand up straight again with that oh-so-maddening twinkle in his eyes.

“Unless you didn’t really miss me all that badly. I know how much you hated getting left behind to…what was it? Stare out the window into the rain and wait for your man to return from war?”

Now you really didn’t have a choice in retaliation. You grabbed his shirt collar and wrenched him down until your noses nearly touched. “Shut up and get me naked, petaQ.”

“Oh, someone’s been brushing up on her Klingonese. I’ll have to ask Urhura just how badly you insulted me in the morning.”

Like you were going to let Jim out of your sight come the morning, not when he finally did as you suggested and got to removing your remaining clothes. You couldn’t say you didn’t pity them, those military wives of old. They had a lot of obstacles stacked up against them in a world that refused to give them the credit they deserved. All the same, you hoped you all had one thing in common: When all that waiting was said and done, your husband’s homecoming very nearly made your loneliness worthwhile.

#fan fic #straw writes #reader insert #second person pov #request #one shot #star trek #kelvin universe #jim kirk #captain kirk #kelvin!kirk #star trek x reader #star trek x you #star trek x y/n #jim kirk x reader #jim kirk x you #jim kirk x y/n #captain kirk x reader #captain kirk x you #captain kirk x y/n #james t kirk #james t kirk x reader #james t kirk x you #james t kirk x y/n

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

A collection of fics I’ve read (/reread) and thoroughly enjoyed in the past week-ish from all kinds of fandoms and genres.

DC

With Our Friends (In This Circle We Form) by RhiannonOfTheRoses

“Everyone can see that that kid's got League training,” Oswald said, shaking his head. “Seriously where did you find him? Hell itself?” He leans forward. “Did the Joker give him to you?”

“A demon left him on the doorstep one day, because hell couldn't handle him,” Red Robin said dryly.

OR: The one in which the Rouges start a Stitch 'n' Bitch, and then the Batkids invade it.

Sunday Dinner by megka (+ podfic)

Tim Drake has been acting strange for the past couple of months, and Bruce fears something terrible happened while he was dead.

Tim is just trying to come out as Bi in the wake of a past bad experience.

playacting by nex_et_nox (+podfic)

“So,” Jim said, “are you one of Wayne’s new kids?” Because only siblings acted that way toward each other, and it seemed like every time Gotham turned around, Bruce Wayne was adopting more kids. It was a reasonable question.

“What?” Jay asked. “No, I’m—” He paused. Very slowly, his head tilted as he looked over Jim’s shoulder in the most obvious way he possibly could.

Jim Gordon accidentally meets the "newest" member of the Wayne family.

Star Trek

Echolocation by Darksknight

Kirk and Spock don’t realize that they’ve bonded right away. The rest of the crew is a different story.

Clone Wars

Open Secret by ejejie

Or, five times Commander Cody or General Kenobi broke the news of their relationship to someone, and one time they just kind of... didn't. Until they did.

Made For This (Rise Up From the Dust) by JonicRecheio

Obi-Wan always wanted another Padawan after Anakin, and when he was on Christophsis, he thought he would get one. The Force had other plans. That was how it played out. But what if it went differently?

On their way to Christophsis to aid Senator Organa, the 212th make a pit stop on Kamino to resupply with troops, and their general makes a startling discovery. In Tipoca City, about to be decommissioned for failing combat exams, is a Force-sensitive cadet. Cutting it close, Obi-Wan swoops in and snaps him up, taking the boy as his new Padawan learner, altering his own fate and that of the clones.

This is the story of the clone that became a Jedi, and how he managed to show the galaxy that the clones were more than meat droids made for war along the way.

Walls Come Down (Eventually) by Walpger

Obi Wan Kenobi hasn't slept in far too long, but he hardly has a choice in the matter. Ahsoka disagrees. Something must be done, and she is nothing if not persistent. Subtle manipulation and wholesome moments ensue.

AKA everyone worries about Obi Wan while Obi Wan worries about everyone else

Fingertips by Thalius

All he's ever done is reach for Anakin.

#weekly fic round up #fic recs #sw recs #dc recs #star trek recs #my posts #also I’ve got final assessments due so i probably won’t be on for the next few days #if you see me on tumblr outside of queue please snipe me be #*because I should be working

[pryde7]

As a Spock and Uhura  fan, I am worried  about Strange New Worlds.

As a spock and uhura fan for more than 10 years, I can only hope for the best  in strange new worlds, although i have this bad feeling in my heart that strange new worlds will likely make Uhura gay and pair spock with chapel.I dont trust Alex Kurtzman since after Star Trek  Into Darkness, when he chose to downplay the spock and uhura relationship in that awful movie. He  instead dropped many spirk innuendos  that when you watched the movie, you wondered who spock was supposed to be in love with kirk or  uhura.

it made me angry as a spock and uhura fan,  no doubt alex kurtzman wrote star trek into darkness that way because he as he admits listens to fans and the spirk fans make the loudest noises between 2009 and 2013  and that factored in into the movie.   Thank goodness we got Star Trek Beyond that wiped out the trash that was Into Darkness and made Spock seem very much in love with Uhura again even if it was to the point of loving obsession However I fear he will continue this pattern in strange new worlds, especially now that we have a non binary actress playing uhura and they gave her an androgynous    look and it Kurtzman's  world, that he how he mostly writes and gives the appearances of lgbt characters, not to mention that in star trek now, they cast only lgbtq characters in lgbtq roles and Celia Rose Gooding  is lgbtq, so all the signs points to an lgbt Uhura in strange new worlds.

I also think some spock and uhura fans like lucyintheskywithdiamonds have become extremist kind of fans  and is now as  bad as some of the spirk fans, apparently if you love spock and uhura as I do, but express some concerns  and worry or even make heart breaking predictions about how the writers may try to downplay their relationship in SNW, luckyintheskywithdaimond thinks you are a hater, racist and a sexist and a fake spuura fans that needs to be ignored.

And that in itself is  sad since Spuhura is my OTP ship, anyone can go to my archive  to see it is fully dedicated to spuhura , how lucyintheskywithdaimonds calling me a fake fan and a racist  and sexist was down right offensive to me, when what I am doing is fighting for uhura's ferminity , the fact that she is a POC  and well worthy to be loved by a man like spock. so no, I don't want a gay Uhura,  but apparently to be a spuhura fan you must think like lucyintheskywithdaimonds wants you to think only or not express some concerns about how the writers may choose to write. Sorry I ain't   part of some borg collective.

Not to stay more on topic, I am worried  and scared of how SNW is going to turn out, so far soo good with Picard and Discovery, I have been disappointed with these shows because they flipped  things so much on established characters not in the best ways and I fear SNW will bring me more more disappointment  especially with Spock and Uhura, I just have the gut feeling they will be making Uhura gay like they did with 7 of 9 in Picard and we will get Spock and Chapel instead.

I pray this does not happen but a part of me is already preparing myself for this, but at the same time, this is why Zachary Quinto and Zoe Saldana will always be my Spock and Uhura, regardless of how the outcome of strange new worlds turns out.

#star trek strange new worlds #strange new worlds #star trek aos #star trek

[tailsrevane]

[book review] star trek: discovery: fear itself by james swallow (2018)

(spoilers)

i was thoroughly not expecting this, but this was pretty easily one of the best star trek novels i’ve ever read.

i’m always happy to return to the shenzhou, though sadly it looks like this is the last thing currently published that scratches that particular itch. i would really love a series of novels or comics set aboard the shenzhou, but it seems like media tie-in publishing isn’t favoring those sort of lengthy series like the old 80s and 90s star trek novels. the tradeoff is that what we are getting seems to be of a much more consistent quality than when we were getting just piles of novels and comics of varying quality. i’m pretty okay with this trade.

the focus character of this novel is saru, and i love him on the show, but i wasn’t sure i was going to be super enthusiastic about a novel from his perspective? and wow, was i ever wrong on that front. and despite the limitations on this being both a media tie-in and a prequel, it managed to give him the kind of meaningful character growth that you would expect on a particularly great episode of an actual star trek series.

the structure of the overarching story is also pretty fantastic. it starts out fairly low-stakes with the shenzhou investigating a damaged probe. the tholians are in the distant background as the looming threat, but for the majority of the book it seems like they might be a red herring. things get more complicated when the shenzhou rescues a badly-damaged ship seemingly over that ship’s crew’s strenuous objections. the situation quickly escalates when a fight breaks out between that crew and their passengers, and saru–who wasn’t even supposed to still be on the ship–ends up as the senior officer present when the shenzhou’s chief engineer is incapacitated in a firefight.

saru finds himself as a hostage and struggling to maintain the confidence of his subordinate officers. at one point the pressure becomes so intense that he fabricates a reason he needs to sit alone (guarded, of course) on the docked shuttlecraft just so he doesn’t feel everyone watching him. it just feels so real and relatable, you can’t help but feel for him.

this really is the turning point of the novel, as saru’s next action is to fabricate an excuse to need to consult the rest of his landing party and he quickly wins back their confidence and devises a frankly brilliant scheme to escape their captivity. there’s a series of messy fights between various competing factions that saru navigates deftly, and when all is said and done he really does end up proving himself, even if it’s hard for him to see it.

oh, and that tholian red herring? yeah, the last few chapters are a series of three increasingly desperate space battles against them, with the shenzhou arriving just in time to join the decisive battle. pretty epic stuff.

s-rank

#star trek #star trek books #star trek discovery #star trek: discovery: fear itself #james swallow #books #book review #reviews

[ohwaitimthewriter]

Ner naak (My peace)

Pairing: Din Djarin x earthling!reader

Warnings: None

Summarize: Din Djarin meets you, an earthling, with no idea of the existence of an outer space.

Words count: 1617

A/n: Enjoy your reading!

Ner naak Masterlist // The Mandalorian Masterlist

Life sometimes manifested itself in strange ways. Even for Din. And he didn't expect to wake up with a tray of freshly prepared food at his disposal. You had even written him a note describing every single food on the plate. "French pastries are the basis of a successful breakfast" you wrote and if he had no idea what the "French" part meant, he heard his stomach growling at the simple sweet, slightly perfumed smell of the pastries. 

The day could only start well and Grogu was already enjoying swallowing little choux buns topped with sugar balls. Din chuckled at him gently before grabbing one and twirling it between his gloved fingers.

" Let me have some of it. "he said before sliding the food under his helmet into his mouth.

And he let a long, satisfied sigh escape. When was the last time he had eaten something so good? There was something special about earthly food, was it because it had been a long time since Din had been able to enjoy the flavours of a good meal? He could never get tired of it and he ate another one. He had to ask you what it was but he had just placed it as one of his favourites. 

And then he noticed something else on the little note you had left him. A little note that made him frown. What did you mean when you said, "P.s. Sorry, I had to. » ? A little shot of adrenaline reminded him that maybe he had let his guard down a little too quickly and a little too long. It was only then that he heard voices other than yours rising from the outside of the ship. 

He didn’t think twice, the ramp of the ship opened and he turned towards Grogu before leaving.

"Stay there and don't eat everything. "He said to Grogu, who had no intention of listening to him. 

Within a few steps Din found himself outside and suddenly found it hard to understand what was going on. 

A small group of young people around you were studying the plans you and Din had drawn. Some of them were impatient, others were so focused that they didn't hesitate to scold those who weren't being serious. 

Something was eluding him and he thought that his little stay on earth had made his brain weak. Since when did he let himself be so easily surprised? And to tell the truth, at that very moment you were surprising him too. 

You didn't notice Mando right away. He wasn't doing much to be noticed either, he was confused enough to ask for the attention of five unknown people. But you didn't have a choice. 

The night had not been very restful. The conversation you had the night before with Mando had gone round and round in your head and between the sprawling galactic monsters landing on Earth and the army coming in tanks, your mind had other things to do than rest. And those disturbing dreams hadn't helped your anxiety, so you decided you needed to pick up the pace. But speeding up without a work crew was a tricky thing to do. 

Life had a really strange way of showing itself sometimes and until now, you probably never thought to ask for help to repair this ship. Help other than what Mando was already giving you. You had been far too aware of the danger it could represent, for you, for Mando, for Grogu... but what was better? Revealing his presence to students in whom you trusted partially? Or to be discovered by the police? 

It wasn't a good idea, you knew that. And you hadn't taken the time to discuss it with Mando either. It was more of a decision taken on a whim and you would surely regret it later, but today, thanks to the students you had carefully selected, the repairs were going to be a good step forward. And the sooner the ship would be able to fly, the sooner Mando and Grogu would be safe, away from Earth.

In other words, you were reassuring yourself as best you could. 

You didn't know if those dreams had been the trigger or if the lack of sleep had caused some neurons to break down, but in the early morning you woke up with an awful realization: it was much bigger than you. And no matter how full-grown you were, no matter how thoughtful and composed you were, this morning it was all too much. And sharing this secret with almost grown-up people was probably the only way to relieve the pressure you had put on yourself. 

So there you were, explaining as best you could to five of your students the tasks they were going to be assigned to repair the ship. But that wasn't the most complicated part. You had to deal with your students' reaction to the ship and nothing in your studies to become a teacher prepared you for that.

"Well, can we focus for five minutes? "You asked them as one student had been trying for a solid two minutes to calm down his friend who still couldn't believe his eyes. 

"Ma'am, can you believe it?! "He exclaimed, "A real one! »

"Get over it, it's not as cool as Star Trek's USS Entreprise NCC-1701-E. "His friend who never seemed very impressed with the Razor Crest commented. 

"I wish you knew my courses as accurately as that." you smiled slightly. "Good, you'll start by gathering all the material listed in here," and you gave them each a piece of paper. " you get to work and... be respectful. " You glance at them briefly before finishing. " Croissants and chouquettes as much as you like in the car." 

And you knew that their motivation had just been boosted to the max. You got up and only then you spotted Mando near the ship. And his whole body was more tense than a tree trunk. And the trickiest part of your hasty decision had just begun: persuading Mando that your potentially bad idea wasn't such a bad idea. 

Your students didn't seem to have noticed him yet, they were far too busy eating pastries and it seemed that a croissant was more important than a spaceship piloted by the Galactic Daft Punk cousin. Ah those students!

It was just that a little anxiety was making your stomach heavier. From what you could see Mando didn't seem the most delighted to have a bunch of young people he didn't know around his Razor Crest but hopefully he would understand. 

"It wasn't planned." He said, his voice muffled by the helmet. 

"I know. And as much as I would have loved to have the Crest all to myself, sometimes you have to be realistic." You said, and you were looking forward to his reaction. 

"You're not realistic. You're worried. That' s not the same thing. "

And for the first time, you observed Mando withdraw into himself. He wasn't very talkative already, but it seemed to you that you had managed to win his sympathy.  You had seen him trust you gradually and you feared you had taken ten steps backwards, whereas you had only taken two in the same direction.

And then you felt a pinch of irritation tickle your nerves. His words had not been well received and it would have been hard for Mando to miss the annoyance expressed by the hardened features of your face. Your posture had changed too. Your arms, which were usually open, had just crossed over your chest, your usually relaxed and loose shoulders were now tensed and stiff, and even your chest, which was usually light and sometimes delicate, now looked much stronger. You showed a disconcerting self-confidence and Din made the pleasant discovery that you were not the type to let yourself be stepped on.

But this was not the time to dwell on your new confidence.

"Indeed, I am worried for you and I think that the situation has been sufficiently addressed for you to understand that I will never be able to get you out of this rotten planet to the bone without any help. "And the features of your face softened again. "Look, yes, that wasn't planned, and I'm not asking you to trust them, but for your, "you paused before correcting" if you want to leave Earth in one piece, we must work faster." 

Mando sighed heavily. You saw him lower his head slightly, as if he was thinking about the pros and cons. He was nervous. You could see that and you suspected a rather complicated past in relation to other people, perhaps one or two betrayals, and he was thinking over and over again until he nodded silently. 

"You know this world better than I do. I trust you, but I won't go easy on them. "He granted and he saw you relax completely, the hint of annoyance had completely disappeared and he recognized you in your kindness.

"Don't worry, they are students, there is nothing more resilient. "You gave him a little smile before gently placing your hand on his forearm in a friendly gesture. "They won't bother you, I'll make sure of that." 

Mando nodded again and before you could go back to repair the ship, he couldn't help but stop you for a moment, holding your arm.

"What's the name of the, huh, ‘French’ pastries you brought me?" he asked. 

" They're called 'chouquettes', why that?" 

"Do you have some more of them? Grogu... Grogu seems to like it." He justified himself. 

But you couldn’t be fooled. Grogu was certainly not the only one who liked them.

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x earthling #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #mando #mando x reader #ner naak series #star wars

[brilliantlycute]

My favourite Star Trek quotes:

In honour of Star Trek`s 55th birthday:

“This vessel... I give, she takes. She won`t permit me my life, I`ve got to live hers.” - James T. Kirk

“I have been, and always shall be your friend.” - Spock

“You treat her like a lady... and She`ll always bring you home.” - Leonard McCoy

“I`ll have him eating out of my hand, and I`ll meet you at the rendezvous point. Oh! and Admiral: all my hopes.” - Nyota Uhura

“WHATTAYA STANDING AROUND FOR! Ye not know a jailbreak when ye SEE one???” - Montgomery Scott

“Those two men on trial I served with them for a long time. I owe them my life a dozen times over. (...) they`re in trouble and I`m going to help them; regulations be damned.” - Hikaru Sulu

“We are on an enemy wessel; I do not wish to get shot down on the way to our own funeral.” - Pavel Chekov

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” - Jean Luc Picard

“Fate protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise.” - William T. Riker

“Confidence is faith in oneself. It can`t be easily be given by another.” - Deanna Troi

“It is the struggle itself that is most important. We must strive to be more than we are. It does not matter that we will never reach our ultimate goal. The effort yields its own rewards.” - Data

“You know, I`ve never seen a sunrise... at least, not the way you see them.” - Geordi La Forge

“Perhaps today is a good day to die! Prepare for ramming speed!” - Worf

“If there is nothing wrong with me, maybe there`s something wrong with the universe.” - Beverly Crusher

“When a man is convinced he`s going to die tomorrow, he`ll probably find a way to make it happen.” - Guinan

“That is the exploration that awaits you: Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence.” - Q

“The most profound discoveries are not necessarily beyond that next star. They`re within us, woven into the threads that bind us, all of us, to each other.” - Jonathan Archer

“You think that the loss of a colleague or a friend doesn`t affect us? It does, but if we give in to those emotions, they overwhelm us. You`re the ones to be envied.” - T `pol

“You can all go straight to Hell!” - Charles ´Trip` Tucker III

“Deception and surprise can be just as potent as brute force.” - Malcolm Reed

“It took a while, but I finally found my space legs.” - Hoshi Sato

“If you`re going to try to embrace new worlds, you must try to embrace new ideas.” - Phlox

“I lived on Earth for more than thirty years (...) I developed an affinity for your world and its people.” - Soval

“The real world doesn`t always adhere to logic: Sometimes down is up, sometimes up is down, and sometimes when you`re lost, you`re found.” - Michael Burnham

“I saw hope, in the stars. It was stronger than fear. And I went towards it.” - Saru

“At the quantum level, there is no difference between biology and physics (...) spores. What are they? (...) They are the building blocks of energy across the universe. Physics and biology? No; physics as biology.” - Paul Stamets

“It`s never good-bye (...) Nothing in here is truly gone. I believe in you, Paul. I love you. Follow the music, Paul. Look for the clearing in the forest. Open your eyes.” - Hugh Culber

“When people who are supposed to care about you don`t listen to you, it`s frightening and it`s lonely, and it makes you feel like you are crazy or like you`re like not even there. I get that.” - Sylvia Tilly

“Battle is not a simulation. It`s blood and screams and funerals. We don`t start shooting on a hunch. And we don`t take innocent lives, period.” - Capt. Philippa Georgiou

“It`s going to hurt. And I`d like to hear you scream, now.” - Emperor Philippa Georgiou

“Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous. Black Alert.” - Christopher Pike

#star trek #star trek day #star trek 55th year aniversary #55 years of star trek #tv quotes #movie quotes #star trek quotes #i know i`m missing more there are just so many great ones

[onaperduamedee]

My sentence was life.

#star trek discovery #michael burnham #philippa georgiou #space wives #Milippa #star trek #mygifs #mine:disco #the last of the real ones #the only word to effectively describe it is wow #i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night #leftover from whatever the gifset that broke my heart is going to become #i have things to say regarding their relationship and orpheus and eurydice #yes here we go again #quote from an anonymous 16th c. author apparently #and probably an old fashioned saying #it sounds like one #the point of this was to emphasize (in my case evacuate) Georgiou's imprint on Michael #how it seems frighteningly intense and sure of itself #thus never entirely sincere and lived #how everything after that is necessarily quieter and more felt #because the habit and loss of the previous relationship felt so immense #but Georgiou also seemed very confident Michael would move on and only retain her teachings #which she did #but the blade of losing Georgiou never really seems to go dull #attacking the ship and retrieving the sign is proof of it

[wearecaptaingeorgiou]

Captain Georgiou January - February Day 3′s scheduled creation is by Al @dykekeit​. Thank you to Al for sharing this essay!

Here’s the thing: this story isn’t about me. I’m white and Jewish―not exactly lacking for representation in Star Trek, even if I am a lesbian―not with the ta’al itself coming from the Kol Nidre service, not with Benjamin Sisko’s character more closely resembling Moses than any other religious figure. How many times have I seen myself, loved myself, in Trek? I’ve taken heart in Leonard Nimoy’s Yiddish, in Jim Kirk’s Tarsus IV backstory, in Benjamin Sisko the reluctant prophet and in Kira Nerys, fighting for her traditions amidst pressure to assimilate or die.

And yet, the first time I saw the trailer for Discovery, I almost burst out crying hearing Michelle Yeoh’s voice—her accent, the way she pronounced Shenzhou, seeing her in the captain’s chair—because it felt so much like home.

Like I said, this story isn’t about me. This is a story about my sensei.

I still don’t know what name she was born with, growing up just outside of Hong Kong. When she arrived in the United States, there was no large Chinese community on the east coast in those days; she didn’t speak English, and no one around her spoke Cantonese. She was alone, totally alone. I still can’t fathom the sheer amount of chutzpah it took for her to stand her ground and carve out her place the way she did, but I know what it took: a skill for organization, a love of scheduling, a gift for disdainful silences, and an intense, rigid sense of etiquette. When you stand barely five feet tall, it’s all necessary.

Sensei loves gardening and darjeeling tea, and hates anything sweet to the point that I have gone out of my way to buy her chocolate above 70% grade dark. Oh, and did I mention? She loves Star Trek.

Sensei gravitates towards characters like Spock, like Data: immigrants, constant strangers among new and adopted cultures alike, repeatedly explaining their differences and saving face and proudly, wholly themselves, no matter if people understand them or not. They are characters who defy expectations and use every difference as a strength, no matter if it’s supposed to be a weakness. I wonder, sometimes, as she’s teaching me about the protective properties of jade bracelets and how the good Jewish delis she knew used to serve thinly sliced beef tongue for sandwiches, but not any more—were the stars visible in Hong Kong, growing up? Did she want to escape to the dark sky, to the other side of the world—anywhere?

How did I meet her? Well, when she was thirty-nine, my sensei took up kendo, the Japanese martial art of fencing, and almost twenty-five years later, she had reached fifth-dan (that’s fifth degree black belt!) Into her dojo I stumbled. Picture this: me, a clumsy, skinny Jewish lesbian, never worked out in my life, thought swords were kind of cool, walking into a dojo and finding a sixty-something Chinese woman who, though she barely came up to my chest, could kick the butts of every single much-younger six-foot-plus male student she had.

I guess it’s not surprising I stayed.

Over the next six years, my sensei taught me everything, and not just about kendo. In between correcting my wrist angles, my posture, my follow-through, my footwork, my uniform, my dojo etiquette, and anything else she could think of, there were moments of life coaching: how to focus, how to be disciplined in everything I do, how to help, how to put other people first. When I burst out crying during practice, she reminds me that the dojo is a safe place for emotions. She introduced me to Hong Kong-style diner food, showed me real dim sum and how to order and eat and share it properly, cultivated a lucky money plant for me to bring home and instructed me where to put it in my house for best feng shui, advised me to begin acupuncture for stress, told me to take more initiative when pouring tea for other visiting sensei. On the worst day of my life, I wanted her advice. Once, I managed to get a signed copy of Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club addressed to her personally. When I presented it to her and she learned I hadn’t read it, she turned around and gave it right back to me, insisting with a smile that I read it first so that we could talk about it together.

In the middle of all of it, a new Star Trek show, called Discovery, was announced, and soon, a new trailer dropped. The captain’s name was Philippa Georgiou, and she was played by Michelle Yeoh.

I did nearly burst out crying. It was Michelle Yeoh, but all I could see was Sensei, in command and speaking her accented English, proof of a past beyond a Starfleet that demanded “standard” English for assimilation.

Captain Georgiou was concerned with etiquette, both social and honor-bound: Starfleet doesn’t fire first. In the dojo, I am to bow respectfully, I am to shake hands and thank my opponent after every match, I do not hit just to hit or shy away in fear. The only way a kendo match works is with mutual communication; an opponent is not a faceless thing to be beaten so much as a partner to create opportunities. We may strike first, but we are not aggressors.

Captain Georgiou said: the best way to know yourself is to know others. Take care of those who are in your care. I still remember the time I watched a fellow dojo member rush across the tournament floor because someone had the wrong-colored tasuki to change it without a thought—because he had noticed a problem, therefore he must help. I sat there, frozen. I told Sensei this story later with absolute wonderment and shame and she just smiled, patted my hand, and shared some of her favorite raisin walnut bread with me. She knew the lesson had stuck. Other times, she has snapped at me for forgetting to hold a door open for other people, but—

Captain Georgiou: disciplined, teasing, dedicated, setting stars and valuing candor: your confidence is justified. My shock when Sensei first told a few of the other girls and I some dirty jokes late at night before that same tournament was only matched by how funny it was, and how it was immediately followed with a discussion of our weaknesses in shiai combat, and what our approach both physically and mentally would be for the tournament the following day.

I wonder, through fanfiction and fanart and discussion with others, what Philippa shared of the universe with those around her—with Michael, with Saru, with all those under her care.

I once told Sensei that reading The Joy Luck Club and trying to understand all the Chinese cultural nuances from an outside perspective was like looking through a waterfall, or trying to see through a beaded curtain—seeing outlines, but not being able to grasp details. She smiled, and nodded, and said, “yes.” What she meant was, of course I couldn’t, and no one would be able to explain every detail to me―not if I didn’t live it, but more importantly, not if I didn’t ask questions. When Captain Georgiou brought Michael Burnham to the bridge for the first time, she said, “This can be your new home, if you want it to be.” She asked for little but trust and mutual respect from a certain Vulcan-raised human who needed to re-integrate into an all-too-familiar but still foreign culture. The dojo is foreign, and it is my home, and I must always ask questions.

A human who had seen a life of loss, but still chose hope. A mentor who saw everything as a lesson, full of expectations both written and unwritten. And I, or Michael Burnham, watching her set a star.

Sensei: 谢谢, I love you, and I hope to see you in person soon.

Al

#philippa georgiou #star trek discovery #event submission #type: scheduled creation #type: text #author: dykekeit #event tag #food #ds9 #tos #tarsus iv #death mention

[hedgehogreads]

“I don’t like it,” said ch’Theloh.

“You don’t like anything, Sonny,” the captain told him, patting the Andorian on the shoulder. “That’s your job.”

 - James Swallow, Fear Itself

#Star Trek #Star Trek Discovery #humour #jobs #fear itself #James Swallow