#still got more songs to get through but this one in particular is making brain go brr

[loveinhawkins]

kept thinking about Eddie & Steve deliberately making jokes to ensure that Dustin and co don’t get into the boat on Lover’s Lake.

“Nicely done,” Steve says when they’re far enough away from the bank—when they’ve left a disgruntled Dustin behind rather than a worried one.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” Eddie says—glances back to where the kids are, although they’ve already got swallowed up by the darkness. “‘Course, man.” He gives a weak smile as he drags the oar through the water. “Those little shrimps would probably try and, like, cannonball right in, and honestly? I, uh, really don’t think my heart could handle that.”

“Yeah, they… really throw themselves into things.”

Steve decides that he’s never gonna bring up Operation Child Endangerment if Eddie’s in the vicinity—the dude already looks at them all like they’ve got a few screws loose, he doesn’t wanna make it worse.

Although, on second thought, him and Dustin probably let that particular cat out the bag with their persistent optimism way back in the boathouse: “There’s nothing to worry about.”

Eddie’s wide-eyed look painted a thousand words.

Oh, he thinks you’re crazy, sing-songed the perpetual high schooler hiding in Steve’s brain. Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson thinks you’re crazy. Time to seriously re-evaluate your life choices.

“Did you think Eddie was a bit, uh, weird back there?” Dustin asked him later. “Like, he’ll be okay, right?”

Dustin was prone to using ‘weird’ as a catch-all term, where it could mean anything from someone being genuinely weird to them experiencing severe emotional distress.

Steve clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Henderson, I’m pretty sure he thinks we’re weird.”

He almost wants to make a joke about that now, get Eddie to laugh, maybe. To tell the truth, Steve had almost cracked and laughed himself once he’d gotten into the boat, when he turned and saw Dustin’s comically outraged expression.

It was only as Nancy and Eddie began to row that he registered the laugh would’ve secretly been one of relief—heartened by the sight of the kids left on the shore.

He stays quiet; Eddie’s shoulders are slowly tensing more and more the further across the lake they go.

It’s not noticeable at first—Robin’s providing a running commentary on the movements of Dustin’s compass, while Nancy determinedly pulls her oar in and out of the water—but Steve soon realises that Eddie’s kind of stopped rowing, instead just making ripples as his grip goes slack.

It’s damn hard to see, but Steve just barely makes out Eddie’s eyes glittering in the dark, staring down at the lake.

“Hey,” Steve says quietly. “You don’t have to—we’re not too far out, we can take you back, man.” He tries for levity. “This thing holds three people tops, remember?”

Eddie’s smile is more of a grimace. “Nah, man. Had enough of being chickenshit.”

“Dude, you’re not…”

Steve trails off, biting back his frustration—it doesn’t look like Eddie’s listening to him anyway; he’s still not taken his eyes off the water. Steve briefly wonders if he’s got that thing Robin says she gets sometimes, something about an imp—it’s why she never gets on Ferris wheels or whatever, convinced that she’s somehow gonna fall.

Eddie gives himself a shake and resumes rowing.

“Sorry. S’just… pitch black down there. He—” Eddie clears his throat. “He wouldn’t have seen—”

His voice cracks, fades into the night. His grip on the oar slips—he snatches it back before it can fall.

“Eddie,” Steve begins, but Eddie speaks right over the top of him.

“I—I hoped he was just drowning instead.” Eddie scoffs, and there’s a bitterness to it, an edge of self-loathing that Steve wishes he couldn’t hear. “And then maybe—” A sigh, another grimace disguised as a smile. “That’s a pretty fucked up thing to think, huh?”

He’s got that tone, Steve thinks, like when he kept repeating that he ran away from Chrissy—like he thought that if he said it enough, someone would snap, condemn him. Like he’s looking for proof that he’s monstrous.

Robin’s still talking, tactfully giving Eddie a semblance of privacy. Underneath her chatter, Steve hears Nancy’s rowing falter for just a moment, and he feels a pang in his chest.

He thinks of Barb and drowning. Wonders again if an ordinary tragedy would’ve been better compared to…

Then he lets it all sink back down.

“That’s not fucked up,” he says firmly. “Trust me, dude, that’s… that’s normal.”

Eddie chuckles shortly—it sounds like he’s doing something similar, pushing everything down, down…

“Normal, huh? No-one’s called me that before.”

“First time for everything.”

There’s a flicker of amusement across Eddie’s face when he replies, “Guess compared to you freaks, I’m pretty normal.”

“Ooh, did that feel good?” Steve says, appealing again to his mental high schooler. “Bit of role reversal?”

Eddie laughs more genuinely. “Sure did. Community theatre’s done wonders.”

A silence falls, and Steve encourages himself to get all relaxed by the boat bobbing up and down. Yeah, nothing’s strictly been confirmed yet, but he already knew what he was getting into when he stepped off the shore, water leaking into his shoes.

It’s gotta be him.

“I know what you’re doing, Harrington,” Eddie murmurs.

Steve gives him a questioning look.

Eddie pulls in some long breaths in exaggerated imitation. “You’re not subtle, Mister Swim Captain.”

“Co-captain,” Steve corrects, hiding his surprise. He can’t really imagine Eddie paying attention to the swim team, least of all a former swim team.

“Oh, forgive me for my inaccuracy.”

Hmm, he’s getting borderline poetic, Steve thinks. Like he was with Mordor and stuff.

So. He’s afraid.

“I’ll be fine,” Steve says lightly.

Eddie lets out a short groan, mutters something that sounds like famous last words. Then, quieter still—Steve can’t quite make it out.

Something about the dark.

Steve could repeat that he’ll be fine, but he knows that’s a shit reassurance. He settles for continuing to breathe in and out, long and slow; Eddie’s beginning to look like he’s unconsciously mimicking the pattern, his shoulders lowering.

“Just come back up, Harrington,” he says, so softly that Steve might’ve imagined it.

“Co-captain’s promise,” he says.

Eddie’s lips twitch. But he’s still fixed on the lake’s depths, like he’s waiting for something—dreading it.

Like something’s lurking in the dark.

#the boat ride across Lover’s Lake #before the dive #pre steddie #eddie and the party #steve and the party #steve and dustin #eddie and dustin #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson

[ghostchems]

This would fuck me up so much soooo

5. looking at the mirror but the reflection isn't. looking. at. you.

With Terzo and you know I like it spicy 😊😊

a man after midnight - terzo x f!reader

a/n: so many warnings. this is super smut. 18+, mdni. this absolutely ran away from me!!! i feel like i have lost my mind but i hope you all enjoy :) 2.4k words. ao3 link.

You got back from work later than you’d liked, past midnight and far past your usual bedtime. There’s still chocolate syrup stuck to your arm as you hop into the shower, to clean that off and whatever else has stuck to you. The water is warm, falling over your delicate skin, cleansing you of the smell of ice cream and chocolate, and all the feeling contributed to work. It’s your time now, even though you will most likely just fall asleep after your shower.

Your apartment is covered in shadows and darkness, with the light in your bathroom dim and flickering and just one other desk lamp illuminated in your bedroom. The moon is hidden and the sky is starless tonight, an omen to those who notice… but you haven’t. Your brain is preoccupied with how much sleep you’ll be able to get before having to return to work. 

The shower is a quick one, not wanting to take more time away from sleep, and you step out onto the cold tile floor while wrapping your towel around you. Your mind slips for a moment, thinking about nothing in particular as you brush your teeth. When your gaze falls to the mirror, you notice your eyes don’t meet your own. Mirror you has toothpaste foaming from her mouth and is staring at the door to the bathroom.

You quickly spit out the toothpaste and look back up at the mirror but she hasn’t changed. Unease starts to crawl up your spine, shivering in your towel. The room becomes cold, the vapor from the shower dissipating and the condensation on the mirror starts to turn to frost. You open the medicine cabinet and slam it shut only to find the same image. This time her eyes flicker to stare into yours, then raises her finger to point toward the door. 

There is nowhere to go but out; you drop your towel and rush toward the door, nearly slipping multiple times. You reach the door and the lights go out, leaving you in complete darkness. Your fingers curl around the frame of the door and you peek through it. There’s nothing you can see. You slowly slip through the door, taking anxious baby steps forward. You’re telling yourself that your exhaustion is playing tricks on you, that all you need is to get into bed and shut your eyes and whatever is going on will sort itself out. 

The second you’re through the door the room comes roaring to life with black candles lining the walls glowing with green flames. You cover yourself with your arms and hands, trying to press your thighs together so you’re not exposed once your eyes fall to the bed and you realize there is a man here. He eyes you up and down, his white eye glowing green as his lips twitch into a grin. His fingers raise dramatically and he snaps them. In a blink of an eye your body is suddenly expertly wrapped up in a lush towel along with your damp hair. 

“Don’t look so surprised, carissima. You summoned me.” He stretches out on your bed, propping his head up his hand as he waggles his brows. “A man after midnight, no?” He uses his spare hand to feather through his raven hair with some strands falling into his face. His face paint cuts through the green light, highlighting the white parts of his face and making his piercing eyes stand out against his black eye paint. 

“The… the Abba song?” Your high-pitched voice cuts through the air, your face twisting in confusion. A wave of warmth washes over you, the most comfortable warmth you’ve ever felt, and you take a step toward him, your feet having a mind of their own.

“You have a need and I’m here to fill it.” He clicks his tongue and smiles, your eyes falling to his fangs. “Come, carissima.” He pats the empty side of the bed and you immediately feel a rush of arousal explode through you, your cheeks growing hot and your breath catching in your throat. You can’t stop yourself from doing what he asks as if he is controlling you or maybe he is just impossible to resist. Still, you are apprehensive while you sit down, clutching your towel and maintaining some distance between you — which he quickly closes in on. You swear a second ago he was wearing a black button down shirt but now he’s shirtless and you take in the fine, dark hair that covers his chest.

“Work, work, work, sleep, sleep, sleep. You need some excitement in your life, bella.” He growls huskily as he brings one of his hands to your face to cup your cheek. The ache between your thighs only grows while his thumb strokes your cheek gently. You should be smacking him away from you but you find yourself disarmed by him. It’s only now that you’re so close to him that you can see the sharp horns poking out from his forehead.

“What are you?” You sound flirty and it shocks you. It’s like he’s in your mind controlling your feelings and how you react to him. He slides his finger from his cheek to your lips, ghosting it lightly across the soft skin. You feel your heart pound in your ears and you press your thighs tightly together. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” He slips his finger into your mouth and presses down on your tongue, eliciting a deep, unintentional moan from you. “Call me Terzo, carissima. And please, no more questions, eh? We are wasting valuable time.” Terzo purrs and leans in, his lips brushing against your cheek. His kisses are soft and open, carefully making his way down your cheek as they grow more feverish. 

You don’t stop him. His free hand rests on your shoulder and slides down to toy with the top of your towel as he reaches your neck, his teeth and tongue nipping and sucking along the tender flesh. Everything melts away from you, all thought and all concerns, just as he carefully tugs at your towel, slipping his hand down the front of it. His hand and mouth are impossibly hot, warming your skin and sending heat straight to your core. Terzo focuses on your collarbone, humming as he mouths along it, trailing wet kisses. He reaches up and grabs at the towel on your head, freeing you damp hair.

“Mostriciattola, you are so beautiful.” He murmurs as he lifts his head up, mismatched eyes gazing into yours. You’re speechless, your lips parted but nothing leaving them as you wet them with your tongue. Terzo groans and presses his chin against yours, both of your mouths open before he descends on it. His tongue sweeps inside your mouth, tasting you and meeting your own tongue, taking his sweet time in skimming over every inch of you. You can feel your breath being taken away by him, your mind growing hazy and the ache between your thighs growing more intense. 

“I know how to please you. I’ve seen your darkest desires, belleza.” He purrs and forcefully pushes you onto your back. Your towel falls from you, his smooth hands cupping your breasts. He rolls them between his fingers and then pinches both of them at the same time, the jolt of pain and pleasure making you whimper. “You need some attention, si?” Terzo grins, showing off his teeth before he dips down, his hot breath skimming your breast. You squirm beneath him as you whine, watching him through half-lidded eyes. He chuckled quietly before flitting his tongue across your pebbled nipple. “Don’t youuuuu?” Terzo teases, tilting his head to peer up at you with a wicked grin. 

“I do.” You whine as your body trembles. “I do, oh god, I do.” He growls in response before sealing his lips around your nipple, laving his tongue across the pebbled flesh. Your hand falls to his sleek hair, your eyes fluttering shut as hushed moans spill from your lips. Terzo pulls off of your nipple slowly then moves to the other, giving it the same attention. You feel yourself dripping between your legs and the coiling tension in your abdomen only grows. He starts to move lower, his lips and tongue teasing down your stomach, his teeth scraping against your hip bones hard enough to make you squeak. Terzo then settles himself between your legs, deep, rumbling breaths pushing past his lips as half lidded eyes flicker up to your face and then down to your sex.

He leans down and kisses at the inside of your thighs, his sharp nails stroking at your legs. It’s slow and sensual, his fingertips heating up your skin and his lips gently massaging. He gives a shuddered breath as his mouth hovers over your sex, unable to hold back a groan once his tongue meets your slick folds. Terzo wraps his arms around your legs and buries his face between them, his nose pressed firm against your clit and his mouth devouring you. Your fingers knot in his hair, your hips rolling in time with his tongue against you. The taste of you on his tongue makes him moan, the vibrations of the sound reverberating through you as he continues his slow pace of working against your folds. 

His mouth is intoxicating. Never have you felt this insane from getting eaten out. Terzo’s movements grow more sloppy, his tongue fluttering along you before focusing on your clit. He seals his lips around it, sucking and gliding his tongue across it. Your hips jerk and you cry out, your abdomen tensing with each lick. His fingers push against your entrance, teasing and applying just the right amount of pressure to make you squirm. He pushes them in to his knuckles, giving a pleased grunt at how easily they slipped inside. Terzo curls them again and again against that spot deep inside you, sucking on your clit in perfect rhythm as screams rip from your throat, your hips stuttering and jerking from the sudden overstimulation. 

The pleasure is too much for you. Your body shakes and shudders, your nails digging into his scalp as you start to feel yourself become overtaken. A choked sob leaves your lips and you cum around his fingers, your eyes rolling back as your head hits the soft bed. He doesn’t stop though, his fingers still working you over and over again. Terzo pulls his mouth off of your swollen clit and rests his chin on your hip, wild eyes staring up at you as he continues curling his perfect fingers inside. 

“One more for me, belleza.” He sounds so nonchalant, so unworried, while your senses are on fire. You can’t bring yourself to speak, only sounds of desperation and thrill leaving your lips. Your hips writhe and twitch, and you let go of his hair only to grab onto the sheets as your gut tightens and your vision blurs. The tension snaps and you cum again. You can hardly feel your legs and your head feels light, your vision coming back only to see him smirking above you. You roll your eyes at him but are still unable to speak, instead catching your breath as you start to relax against the bed.

“Oh, I’m not done yet, mostriciattola.” He hisses and undoes his slacks, his perfect cock falling out of them. Before you can respond, his one hand curls around your throat, nails digging into your neck as he squeezes. You give a surprised yelp and then a scream once he slams his cock inside you. Terzo’s hips piston into you, his teeth bared as he snarls low in his throat. His eyes look like they’re glowing and the nails pressing into your neck feel impossibly sharp, threatening to break the skin. One of your hands clutches his wrist while the other grasps his forearm. You’re only able to gasp and give deep moans, his cock massaging your inner walls relentlessly. 

You feel like you’re dead on arrival, unable to even stand a chance against his monstrous cock. Your abs tense and you struggle to breath against his grip on your throat. His perfect hair is messy and he looks positively devilish as he squeezes your throat even tighter. You gasp for air, the combination of the lack of oxygen and the way his cock mercilessly fucks into you sending you over the edge. There are tears in your eyes as you cum and the orgasm is delicious. He quickly lets go of your throat and lowers himself on top of you, his hands curling behind your shoulders as he drives himself home. His hips snapping, his eyes boring into yours as he growls, so extremely focused on chasing his own release. You grab onto him and meet his hips with each thrust, and he can’t help but give a surprised groan, his lips hovering just over yours.

“Oh, sathanas.” Terzo hisses and buries his face in your neck, ragged breaths and low moans filling your ear. His thrusts slow to a stop and he stays there on top of you for what feels like a long while. You don’t know what else to do so you rest your hands on his back, hesitating for just a moment before you start to rub at it. He stiffens and then melts into the touch, closing his eyes while he catches his breath.

Suddenly, the green flames go out, the candles disappear and the lighting returns back to normal. In a blink of an eye he’s dressed in his silk black dress shirt and slacks, and you’re in a matching royal purple pajama set. 

“You’re leaving?”

“Ah, si. I’ve completed my assignment, carissima.” He smiles cheekily. 

“You could stay.” This creature had just been inside you but you still sound shy and a blush creeps up your cheeks. 

“You’re serious?”

“Well, yeah.” You are surprised by how unsure he looks as if no one has ever asked him to stay the night. Maybe it wasn’t part of his typical summoning but surely one person had to have asked, right? You cross your legs on the bed and start to mess with some of the covers. “You don’t have to… but you could stay.” 

Terzo eyes wander up and down your figure then focuses in on your face, his brows knit together. Something is going on behind his eyes, like he is thinking and overthinking about something. He ends up giving a deep sigh, as if he’s given up, and dives into the bed next to you, his arms immediately finding you and pulling you in close.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you have a little bit of a crush on me, mostriciattola.” 

#papa emeritus iii #terzo #papa emeritus iii x reader #papa emeritus x reader #terzo request #ghost fanfic #ghost fanfics #ghost fanfiction

[swampstew]

Can I request Buggy with Fluff N3 for the event? Thank you!! ❤️❤️❤️

Hello anon❤️ Thank you for your submission and patience! I hope you get a chance to read this :) You requested fluff, subtle intimacy, and I give you: [ Simple Touches ] Bandaging/stitching up an injury

Oh Captain, My Captain Buggy

Warnings: None. Fluff and cute stuffs. Ended up sorta sweet n' romantic in a way I wasn't anticipating but Buggy deserves it tbh, cutie but wet n' pathetic King of the Pirates❤️ Word count: 1.1K

“OOOOOWWWWW!”

You push through the pained howls of your Captain as you stitch up his latest injuries. For a man who had eaten the chop-chop fruit, he sure got brutally chopped up by other people more than he should reasonably be.

To be fair, his latest network of contacts involved some intense and no-nonsense individuals. Two in particular who seem to have a rather tight hold on his gorgeous blue head as he did their bidding and processed their contracts.

“DAMNIT Y/N that HURTS!” Buggy hollers at you, tears spilling down his face in pure agony. It makes your heart break. Still you push on.

“It will hurt more if it festers and worsens. Then we’d have to seriously chop pieces off you,” you chide him gently, done with pushing the needle through the tail end of the long gash on his chest. “This is going to sting a bit but I’ll count down from 3. 3—” you tightened the sutures securely before he could hold his breath.

“YYYYEEEEOOOOOWWWW!!!!” his head flew from his neck, as did his hands and feet from his body. “GRR!! YOU ENJOYED THAT TOO MUCH!” he spit at you.

You give him an unimpressed look, “You know that that’s not true. Now get back here. You have some wounds on your face and right hand that need to be disinfected and bandaged. If you can make it through without any complaints, I’ll give you a treat. Sound good?”

His head reattaches to his head but his hand floats down to grip his chin, “A treat? What kind of treat?”

“A nice one. We got a deal?”

With a nod, Buggy reassembles himself and sits still as you inspect each cut and bruise. Washing away the dirt and dried blood, applying a salve on the wounds, and wrapping each one in a bandage or long, woven cotton wrap to soak up any leaking from the cuts. A hushed song brews in your throat and without realizing it, you start to emit the tune from your lips as you patch him up.

Buggy watches you closely as you lightly hum to yourself while you work. Normally, he would literally talk his ass off about anything and everything – but watching you treat him so tenderly has his mouth dry and his mind quiet. Trying to understand the feelings in his chest that you cause him to have with your firm but kind personality. Not understanding why you treat him with such dignity and warmth despite his antics; you’re one of the few people who sees through his bullshit but you also accept it, encourage it even. In his brain playing back all his interactions with you over the last year that you’ve been on his crew to better understand what your deal is.

His eyes bug out of his head for a moment, a memory unearthing itself. With Alvida.

“I think the new doc likes you, Bugs,” she tilted her cowboy covered head at Buggy. When he gave her a confused look, she scoffed and used her head to gesture at you sitting at the bar with his most trusted men. “You’re telling me that you’ve NEVER noticed how much time they manage to spend with you, or how they always talk you up? That they know almost everything about you that not even your own crew knows about?” Buggy scoffed, “Most of my crew are idiots, why would I tell those morons anything?” Alvida gave him a bewildered look, “Then why do you share anything with the doc?” “I don’t share EVERYTHING!” “Oh no? So you haven’t spilled to them how Emperor Shanks is the only man you can respect as the next King of the Pirates?” His hands flew to her face and smothered her speech, “QUIET YOU DAMN WOMAN!”

Buggy felt like an idiot.

That was maybe three months ago.

“All done. You should heal up in no time but if you feel worse, you know where to find me.”

Buggy brought his hand to the back of his neck, “Yeah. Sure.” He wasn’t sure how to pivot from being a crybaby patient to a flashy guy with rizz when he suddenly felt…overly aware of how he acts around you. To be perceived by you and now knowing that you were perceiving him.

“Wh-where’s my treat?”

“Oh that’s right I do owe you a nice one. Wait right here.”

His mind is racing a mile a minute, trying to plan, trying to scheme a charming personality in 2-seconds flat as he watches you go to your desk and pull out a dark bottle. Buggy didn’t notice how attractive your face is as he did just now. He always thought you were the most attractive in the crew in general, but now he was seeing your face. And he found that…he actually quite liked it.

Your step falters are you become aware of his intense stare. You feel…insecure suddenly. Is there something gross on your face or scrubs? Does he not like liquor suddenly? Oh no, is your hair messy?? With a trembling hand you tuck some loose hair behind your ear and lightly touch your scrub as you present the bottle.

“An aged rum that I nicked from our last raid. I hear it’s a grossly expensive brand.”

Buggy took the bottle and rolls it in his hands quietly, not saying anything at all. You watch him nervously, anxiety eating at your gut, a hot flush spreading behind your ears and the back of your neck. You know for a fact that Buggy likes expensive things, no matter what it is. Even if he hates what it actually is, like that time he tried bull fighting fish caviar. He was laid up in your office for a week after that one. He still keeps a preserved jar around, just so he can say he has it on hand.

“I hear it goes well with steak, or something,” you mumble, confidence draining away slowly.

He perks up to that, “Steak? Oh yeah, yes that does sound like a good pairing.” He stands up from the cot and shifts on his feet.

Buggy the Star Clown is shooting his shot.

“If I make Cabaji cook up a few steaks, would you…be interested in joining me for dinner? A flashily impromptu date?”

Your eyes nearly bug out of your head, that being the last thing you expect to hear from him. You had been certain that you would have to ask him out yourself with all the hints and nudges you gave him in the past seemed to go, well, right over his head.

“Oh! Y-yes that sounds nice!”

Smiling, Buggy turns to exit. Passing through the threshold he turns back to add, “I’ll pick you up at your cabin later. Escort you to the dining hall and all that jazz.” He ducks out of the room.

You’re glad he isn’t there anymore because your knees weaken and you grab the cot in support. Thrilled, you look at your schedule and decide to close up early. The injured would have to stay injured on their time, you had an important date tonight.

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #oh captain my captain mini event #eustasscaptainkid #swampstew bedtime stories #swampstew #swampstew stories #anon asks #buggy the star clown #captain buggy

[deathblacksmoke]

call me when you get the chance

pairing: noah sebastian x nick ruffilo x fem reader

cw: polyamorous relationship, long distance yearning, it’s pretty fluffy my friends

taglist: @concretenoah / @ladyveronikawrites / @lma1986 / @monotoniscreaming / @xxrainstorm / @agravemisstake

let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future fics!

author’s note: thank you lady v once again for the beta; i added some pitt back in just for you. and thank you @darksigns-exe for the poly boyfriends brainworms. no smut in here - wild change of pace. and i’ll probably be writing more little bits of these sweet babes at some point 🤍 i got euclid on the brain so title from that, obvi. enjoy!

**************************************************************

Nick sends a postcard from every city.

Missing you from Atlanta! Love, Nicholas.

It makes you feel warm and loved, every time you open your mailbox to another card from another city, with your partner’s pretty writing on the back.

You imagine him standing in the store for ages, sifting through the cards, trying to pick the perfect one for your gallery wall. You imagine Noah picking one out as a joke, and Nick scoffing, putting it back irritated.

No, man, she’s particular about her wall. Remember?

It makes your chest swell. You long to be there, to play mediator like you do when they’re both home with you. They need it sometimes, and you’re sure Jolly could use the break every now and again.

Noah sends memes. They’re ones you would never see otherwise because you won’t step foot on Twitter, but they make you smile and remind you of him, his stupid sense of humor, and the way his face lights up when he laughs. You close your eyes and imagine it, his eyes scrunching closed with his laugh, and your chest tightens.

They always send a selfie when they get off stage, and another before bed, sometimes a FaceTime if you’re still up. They don’t show you their intertwined hands. They know it makes you jealous and weepy, but you’re so grateful that they have each other. You imagine them kissing when the call ends and you cry anyway.

***

When you couldn’t make it to the show you had all planned for, you thought that was it. Work gets in the way again, sends you out of town, but you’ll see them when they come home to you and all will be okay.

The show looks incredible. You brave social media just this once to see clips of your boys, weep in bed in your hotel room. You stay up late to see them before you sleep—they tell you they wish you were there, they miss you, they love you. You catch a glimpse of a love bite on Nick’s chest and wish it could have come from you. You fantasize about quitting your job. You get closer every day.

The postcard comes two days later, a pop-art rendition of the Pittsburgh skyline, Nick’s little note scrawled across the back. It feels silly to have but you knew he wouldn’t dare to break the tradition he’s created.

Wish you were here! Love always, your Nicholas.

You don’t know how much longer you can go without them, holding back tears as you put the card in its frame, giving it its place on the wall.

You feel helpless and hopeless until you get an email, the airline notifications you had set up on cost changes doing you a solid, for once. Flight to LAX, suspiciously affordable, landing at 2 PM on the 8th of October.

It’s not a question. You don’t think twice. You have the PTO, and your boss can’t possibly deny you again. And if they do, fuck it, you’ll really dig your heels in about them needing another girl working on the tour. You’ll get Lana on your side this time around. They can’t say no to you both.

You book the ticket, arrange a guest list spot with Matt and buzz with excitement in preparation for your surprise.

***

You never tire of watching them perform.

The way Noah owns the stage, running from stage left to stage right, commanding the crowd to chant and jump with him. Nicholas, his long hair swaying with each rock of his neck to the beat of the song. His slender fingers grip the neck of his bass as he bounces his leg, growling backing vocals going straight through you. You wish you could be at every show. You swell with pride and know you couldn’t have picked two better boys to share your life.

You head to the green room when they come back out to say their thank yous and goodbyes. You hate to miss the photo slides but you helped pick most of the photos, anyway. Lots from your private collection and you think maybe you owe some of these people a “you’re welcome.”

Sitting on the old, worn leather couch, you start to panic. You’ve never surprised them before. Noah hates surprises, but you hope at least you’re a good one.

Folio comes through the door first, followed by Jolly, and the door swings back closed. Shocked at first when they see you, Folio’s face breaks out into a huge grin before turning on his heels.

“Yo, Noah, you’re gonna wanna see this—” he yells as he swings the door back open, to reveal Nick, sweaty and looking exhausted, but when his eyes land on you—

“Holy shit,” he whispers.

You can barely make it out above the roar of noise in the hallway. You don’t know where Noah is, but Nick looks as gorgeous as you’ve ever seen him. You need to take a deep breath but find your throat stopping you as your vision starts to blur. The look on his face as he crosses the room to you melts your anxiety in an instant. You haven’t seen him in so long. And he’s here. He’s right here with you.

When he reaches you, he sinks to his knees at your feet. His fingers digging into your thigh, eyes glazed over as he looks up at you, you lean down to meet him halfway.

The feeling of his lips on yours makes you feel dizzy. The feel of the wetness on his cheeks when you cup his face makes you want to sob, but you don’t, you lick into his mouth and bask in the sound of his gasp.

“Where the fuck were you,” he speaks into your mouth when he pulls away from you.

His fingers are gripping your thigh painfully. You know you’ll bruise, you wince, but it’s Nick and you don’t care. You’ll press your fingers there when you get home and you’ll think of him and—

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was flirting with the pretty bartender. I think you’d like her, Nicky, do you think Noah will go for a fourth?”

He’s leaning in for another kiss when you hear the green room door slam back open, thundering steps getting closer and closer until Nick is jostled forward, Noah’s head resting on his shoulder, eyes focused on you.

“You were a very naughty girl, keeping this secret from us,” Noah says, his head angling to press kisses and nip at Nick’s neck. Nick grins and you watch as the hand that was digging into your thigh takes Noah’s hand and laces their fingers.

When you’re far away, it makes you jealous. When you’re right here, when you have them both in front of you, that’s the furthest thing from your mind.

When you kiss Noah and he smiles into it, when the hand not laced with Nick’s threads through your hair, when Nick nips at your neck while Noah kisses you, you’ve never felt more at home.

Because they are your home.

“Nicky let me pick your postcard this time,” Noah tells you when he pulls away.

“You’ll hate it,” Nick says, but he’s grinning as he stands up to rummage through his backpack.

When he returns to you and holds it out, it’s a silly little card, but both their names are signed this time.

Loving you from LA. Love, your Nicholas and Noah.

Noah’s grinning as wide as you’ve ever seen. It’s your favorite of the bunch.

#bad omens fic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens rpf #nick ruffilo fic #nick ruffilo fanfiction #nick ruffilo rpf #nicholas ruffilo fic #nicholas ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo rpf #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian rpf #nick ruffilo x reader #noah sebastian x reader #nicholas ruffilo x reader #noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo x reader #deathblacksmoke works

[dapper-zappa]

His Conejita, Her Spider. | Miles Morales

Pairing: Miles Morales x Fem!Civilian!Reader

Summary: While you're hanging out in your boyfriend's place, a particular sketch in Miles's room intrigues you and then you get to know the meaning behind it.

Word count: ~1,5k

Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, cute Miles, Uncle Aaron death mention, Mama Rio interrupting some couple's time 😭

A/N: I love how the "Childish Gambino inspired Miles" thing has come full circle so don't mind Miles and Y/N talking abt him in the first part of the fic. If you find any mistranslated Spanish, please let me know abt it <3

Today’s one of those days where Miles invited you to his family’s place because hanging out with his girl is simply one of his favorite things to do, other than drawing various kinds of doodles in his sketchbook. While the two of you don’t have any homework for now, there’s nothing better than to spend the time together… right? Miles’s family also grew a lot on you to the point you almost see his mom Rio as an aunt figure and his dad Jeff as an uncle figure. 

“Hi… Mr. and Mrs. Morales. I’m Y/N L/N, Miles’s classmate.” you greeted shyly. 

Rio let out a warm chuckle. “Oh mija, no need to be shy around me. Feel free to call me Mrs. Morales or Tía Morales, I’m fine with both though so you’re welcome.” (dear)

“You must be Miles’s new girlfriend!” Jeff joined. “Kinda wish his uncle Aaron is still here because he’d love to see his little nephew together with a girl he pulled up, though.” he whispered into your ear, much to Miles’s annoyance. 

“Dad!” 

The tunes from various songs in Miles’s playlist flowed through the earbud you shared with him in your ear. One of his hands linked with yours the entire time he talked about why he loved the artists featured in his playlist, and you couldn’t help but smile the entire time at your doe-eyed boyfriend passionately rambling about his favorite artists. 

He’s an artsy boy who enjoyed drawing and making , but also in love with music and how it made the world feel more alive, according to him. And you loved him for that because while you’re not an artist yourself, listening to Miles’s rambles about his favorite artists and seeing the drawings he drew by himself made you appreciate the hard work between them more. Even the fact your boyfriend’s mostly self taught in art.

“So I’ve been thinking…” you mused, getting absorbed in the song currently playing from your earbud. 

“Hmm? Told you that you’d like Childish Gambino.” Miles gently nudged your arm. “It’s obvious I love Sunflower by Post Malone at this point but dude’s discography is like, everything to me-“ 

“No no no no, it’s just that for some silly reason, whenever I look at his face… he kinda reminds me of your uncle from the photos here. I can’t exactly describe why but maybe it’s because of his entire vibe? Like, both him and your uncle have this sort of warm, approachable chill vibe? ” you giggled, trying your best to dismiss how silly your brain was being right now. “I honestly don’t know.” 

He thought about what you had just said about one of his favorite artists and his uncle for a brief moment, nodding once he found himself agreeing with it. 

“You know what, you’re right.” he flashed you a dopey grin. “Actually my uncle introduced me to Childish Gambino first.”

“Wait, what? Miles, are you serious?” 

 “Cielo, I’m serious.” he immediately paused the music from his phone. “So it all started with that one time I heard ‘Me and Your Mama’ blaring in my uncle Aaron’s place, then when he told me about the song’s title thanks to him noticing me jamming myself to it, he also said that the song reminded me of my dad falling in love with my mom. While he just thinks Childish Gambino is neat, for me his music means a lot because I was really close with my uncle and he always comes up in my mind whenever I listen to one of his songs.” 

“That explains why he pops up quite a lot in your playlist.” you said. “I like that. You’ve got a great taste.”

Miles shyly scratched the back of his neck. “You do? Well thanks, I mean- yours isn’t so bad either.” 

The more you hung out in Miles’s place, the more you loved his place and his family because of how close you were now with him and his parents. Though you just noticed a particular object displayed on his desk began to arouse the curiosity within when your head turned to face the desk he often used as both his little art studio and his study desk. 

It was a drawing of you with for some reason, rabbit ears on top of your head smiling gleefully, along with sunflowers surrounding your smiling face. It was a really beautiful artwork, from what you’ve seen. Out of the many impressive works made by your boyfriend, it’s definitely your new favorite as of now. 

“Why, thank you!” you beamed, though your demeanor suddenly shifted into a nervous one as your eyes briefly glanced at his desk. “But if you don't mind… Can I look at the little drawing on your desk?” hesitatingly, you pointed at the artwork on his desk but Miles cut you off before you could say anything else.

His eyes widened at the mention of the piece of artwork you were referring to. “Y-you sure you wanna look at it?” he stammered, standing up from the bed. 

“Yes.” 

Walking towards his desk, he picked up the paper before sitting back on the bed and handing it to you. 

“I hope you’ll like this one.” 

You took the paper from his hands and now focused yourself on the drawing depicted on the paper. You couldn’t believe your eyes as you finally got to see it right in front of your eyes. From the precise ink strokes in the sketch that made up your face’s exact likeness, how the drawing pops from the vibrant yellow, orange, and pink used in it, and to the silly little addition he chose to add this time in the form of bunny ears, you couldn’t help but love the drawing (and Miles himself) more than before. 

“You like it, cielo?” His question made you snap out of your trance.

“This is way more than beautiful, babe!” you squealed, immediately wrapping your arms around him. “I can’t describe how perfect this drawing is and the sunflowers are the best addition because they look so bright and like, everything about this is so amazing.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” he replied. 

By this point, both of your faces were beaming with happiness. You from being impressed by your boyfriend’s art skills, and Miles, from the fact you loved this doodle of you that he had drawn. Keeping your arms placed on his shoulders, you slightly pulled away from the embrace in order to face him while his hands reached for your waist. 

“But one question, Miles.” you retrieved the paper again and shoved it directly in front of his face. “Why the bunny ears? It’s not like I hate them or anything, I just wanna know why.” smirking, you waved the drawing to tease him until he revealed the answer..

He playfully shoved the paper away and gave you the biggest and proudest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen as he pulled you closer by the waist, before whispering in your ear. 

“Because you’re my cute little bunny rabbit. That’s why I often call you ‘conejita’, because it literally means ‘bunny’ and the sunflowers represent how much I love you and how happy you make me.”

Before you could say anything, you were interrupted by Rio clearing her throat. You immediately scrambled away from Miles and caught the sight of her holding 2 mugs of steaming hot chocolate standing in front of his bedroom door.

“Just wanna say that I made some hot chocolate, kids!” Rio chimed in as she set down the mugs on Miles’s desk. “And my oh my, Miles, looks like you and Y/N were having some serious love conversations right now from the looks of it.” she teased, putting her hands on her hips. 

“Mamá, ¿por qué no llamaste a la puerta?” Miles whined.  (Mom, why didn’t you knock the door?)

“Dios mío, Miles, ¿no te diste cuenta de que dejaste la puerta abierta?”  (My god, Miles, didn't you notice that you left the door open?)

“I’m sorry, mamá, I forgot to close the door so I didn’t notice you were coming.” 

“Está bien, mijo. Just make sure next time you don’t do it again, okay?” Rio gently patted Miles’s shoulder before she headed to leave her son’s room, only for her to pop her head back in, much to his annoyance. (It’s okay, dear.)

“What again, mom?” 

“I love you both!” she winked, closing the door and truly leaving from the room this time. 

Leaving the tiny awkward moment you two just had because of your boyfriend’s mom barging in, you both continued your previous activities of just chatting with each other while listening to each other’s playlist. It’s really sweet to know that the symbolism Miles put in the drawing of you with bunny ears meant wonders to him thanks to his adoration for you. Now you get why movies and artworks tend to be careful with the colors or details depicted there, because symbolism were pretty much seemingly small things that actually mean a lot, like why Miles chose to draw you with bunny ears and sunflowers around you in the artwork. 

You’re his bunny rabbit, and he’s your spider. How cute is that?

#miles morales x you #miles morales x reader #1610!miles x you #1610!miles x reader #atsv fic #atsv fanfic #atsv x reader #atsv x you #smokey writes #atsv #spider man atsv #spider man across the spider verse

[onsunnyside]

Here it is !! Flamingo King snippet for part 7, originally from part 6 but moved to the epilogue/bonus chapter 🦩❤️‍🔥 I’ve never loved a fic this much and am so thankful for all of your support !! I hope you all enjoy 🥰🫶

“Hey, sugar, you know you don’t gotta knock.”

“I just thought it would only be fair for tonight.” You shyly hold out a bouquet of flowers, vibrant red and yellow tulips from the best florist in the city. “These are for you. I was thinkin’ we could stop by the bakery after dinner? They brought back your favourite pie and I told them to save us a good one.”

Ari stands there for a moment, looking between you and the flowers. Then, he slaps the door, “awh shit, that was today? I thought—” he groans, “I thought it was tomorrow, Friday right?”

“Today is Friday.”

“Shit.” He curses, “The Den has been a fuckin’ zoo with all the college kids being back in town, my brain is fried and my eyes fuckin’ hurt from staring at a screen all day. Aside from bartending, Curtis has us doing all this paperwork and—” he shoulders sag, “nevermind. No need to be standing out there, come in, baby.”

The light flickers on and you can finally see him properly.

Eyeglasses are on the tip of his nose, his hair is messy and pulled out of his face with a small clip, one you recognize from your small vanity at home. His normally glowy skin is dull and tired, and dark bags make his eyes appear sunken into his face.

You’ve seen him dishevelled, but nothing this exhausted.

He’s still as pretty as ever, but just so terribly tired.

“Give me a few minutes, I’ll get ready quickly.” Then he’s off to his bedroom, abandoning his laptop and coffee table cluttered with dirty dishes, and plenty of papers.

A blanket and pillow that used to occupy his big, comfy bed are on the couch, along with a spare t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. His record player is off, no slow rock song filling his trailer like usually.

You hear several slams and bangs before peeking into his bedroom and it’s a mess, far worse than the living room. Clothes skewed over his bed, the laundry bin overflowing and more stacks of empty dishes on his nightstands, although outnumbered by takeout containers.

Ever since you met Ari, he took pride in his spotless home and kept his things organized. He was diligent with weekly cleans, and often reminded you of laundry day so you could do your chores together.

It’s been quite wild for you too from sports season and the rush of people coming in after school or work. Even Andy had to hire new staff just to keep up with the hoard of customers.

Despite being busy, you’ve still made time for each other, going out for late night ice cream, or hanging out in your trailer watching movies on the laptop that you got for a massive discount (from a particular blond cutie with a goatee). But you haven’t been over in a few days, a week at most, and you didn’t know it was this bad.

“Ari.”

“Hold on!” he calls out, digging through his dressers as clothes fall to the floor.

“Ari.”

“Where the fuck are my jeans?” He sweeps through the hangers again, squinting behind his glasses, “Why do I have so many flannels?”

You step behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. Pressing your cheek against his bare back, you can feel his rigid muscles under his skin. Poor baby, he’s so overworked and drained, yet he was still trying to put you first.

“We don’t have to go tonight.”

“We do. You got all dolled up and bought me flowers. You were gonna wine and dine me, and you can’t do that if we’re stuck in this pigsty.”

You squeeze him tighter, refusing to let go. You know he could easily overpower you, throw you on the bed and continue getting ready. But instead, he just sinks into your touch, slumping over and bracing himself on the dresser.

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry, sugar.”

“Don’t be.”

He always took care of you. Making sure you ate during the day, stayed hydrated and out of the harsh sun. He wouldn’t eat until you took a first bite, and always put snacks and water in your bag before you went to work. Sometimes on his days off, he’d get into your trailer by using the key you gave him and tidy up, wanting you to come home and be able to relax.

Ari has done so much for you.

It takes a few more kisses, some affectionate squeezing and running your hands up and down his chest for him to turn around.

His eyebrows are knotted tight, and a deep solemn frown plays on his lips. You notice his beard is thicker too, a smidge longer than his usual trim.

“I’m so tired—I don’t know what the hell is happening.” He sags forward, slinging his arms over your shoulders and tugging you closer.

You turn your head, kissing his bicep. “Wanna talk about it?”

He shrugs. “It’s work, work and work. That’s all I fuckin’ do now. I love The Den and working with my friends, and it always gets busy this time of year but shit…” he huffs, squeezing his eyes shut. “It was fine before because I had nothin’ else to do but now I have you.” He leans down, pressing his forehead to yours, “You're my girl—how the hell can I give you the attention, time and love that you deserve if I can’t even remember what day it is?”

Your heart aches as you stare into his disappointed blue eyes. Framed by thick lashes, they blink so slowly and sleepily.

“I don’t—I refuse to lose you because of something stupid like this.”

“You’re not going to lose me over one missed date.” You promise, meaning every word.

He chuckles dryly and turns back around to search through the closet again. “It starts like that. Then it’s another and another, and soon we aren’t even seeing each other for days at a time and resort to texts and five minute calls.” He rambles, “And then we’re just two strangers who had something great and you’re gonna get swept off your feet by some douchebag who can’t even remember your favourite colour. While you’re off with him in a big and bright city, I’m gonna be an old man still at The Den, talking about how I lost the girl of my dreams to drunk guys who have a million better things to do—”

“—would you be quiet!”

He looks over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“We aren’t going, so put down those jeans and sit on your bed.” You cross your arms.

Ari doesn’t move, his long fingers still clutching the denim. “Uh—”

“Shush.” You snatch the jeans from his hands and toss it on the dresser, and point to the unmade bed. “Go. Now.”

“Yes ma’am.” He mutters under his breath, cautiously walking around you to his bedroom. With a heavy breath, he plops on the mattress, leaning back with his legs spread wide.

His thin shorts ride up his thick thighs, displaying the built muscle and coarse hair. Quickly glancing over his shameless bulge, you admire his cute tummy and the chain dangling between his pecs.

You step towards him, cupping his bearded face in your hands and squishing his cheeks, making his lips pucker. “You have to take a break or else you’re gonna burn out.”

His eyes close peacefully, your touch silencing all of those pesky worries and looming fears. He was normally very reflective about his thoughts, and kept those stupid, useless, noisy ones to himself.

One of your hands moves to his hair, taking out the clip and running your fingers through the dark strands. “You always take care of me. You’re always so sweet and attentive, the best daddy I could’ve ever asked for.” You say softly and lean down, gently pulling his head back to kiss his cheek, trailing closer to his pink, plump lips. “Now I wanna take care of you.”

A low groan rumbles from his chest, “yeah, baby? You gonna take care of daddy tonight?”

“Mhm.” You hum with a chaste kiss. “Work out all those knots in your back, clear your head…” Your hands fall to his shoulders, tenderly pressing into the tense muscles. “Tonight is all about you, daddy. You deserve it.”

It’s about time we get back to the hot and steamy Flamingo Trailer Park !! The posting date would be earlier but your girl has exams 🥸 I hope you’re all as excited as me 🤩 pls feel free to share your thoughts !!

#sonny drabbles #fk drabble #sneak peek time #flamingo king au #Ari Levinson #Ari Levinson x reader #ari levinson x short!reader #ari levinson x fem!reader #Ari Levinson x you #Ari Levinson fluff #ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson fanfic #ari levinson x female reader #trailer park ​Ari Levinson #trailer park!ari #trailer park au #Ari Levinson au #Chris evans #Chris evans characters #Chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #red sea diving resort #fk: fluff

[loveabledirtbag]

2.02 - pasta

there’s something about opening on a black screen with a catchy, familiar song that just makes me into what i’m watching. i don’t know what it is about that particular edit, i fully recognize it about myself, and i don’t even strongly like the song “she drives me crazy” by fine young cannibals. BUT black screen, song comes on, quick cut to an arial shot of chicago in winter and it’s just got me going, “hell ya. let’s go.”

i liked the quick cut of a printed sign on the bear’s wall as they’re making plans, crossing off things they’re accomplishing and working on renovating the space for their grand opening, but there’s just a little printed sign that says “bear part two”, which is funny. because this is the bear, season two. but it’s also the first iteration of the bear, which makes the “in world” meaning of “the bear part two” kinda odd.

i love the familiarity between carmy and syd. it’s only on this, my 90th rewatch that i realize this is really the first time we see them sort of acting like friends and partners, more than work colleagues, and especially boss and employee. all last season they had friendly moments, but there was always an edge of: carmy is the boss, and syd is the employee. and no matter how friendly they were, and they were pretty nice and friendly, the two did an excellent job of having an element of feeling like they worked together. like if one of them were to introduce the other to a friend or family they would say: “oh, we work together”. even in the first episode of season two, they’re still friendly, and the power dynamic has shifted nicely since season one because they’re partners now, but they still have this air of “work friends”. but right away in episode two carmy and syd are walking through the shop talking about how syd’s dad is sem-supportive but doesn’t understand syd, and i’m only just realizing that it’s the first time they’ve really talked about personal things with each other non-chalantly. this is the first time in the show we’ve ever seen them be “friend friends” not work-friends…and yet, it’s so natural and easy i didn’t even realize the shift had happened until just now.

in one second we received; the first mention of syd’s mom. that she and her dad are going to her mom’s birthday dinner. AND, the fridge guy is on the phone, but because marcus threw the phone without anyone ready, it shattered on the ground. carmy will call the fridge guy back….right….?

i hate that the moment nat comes into the scene casually eating food while walking, my brain (which is so accustomed to stereotypes in media) said “oh! she’s pregnant!” and not “oh! she’s working hard and doing most of the detail work for the restaurant, so she’s eating on the go!” but, media tropes being what they are, my mind went to: PREGNANT

“you feeling okay, nat? you look a little pale”, “yeah. it’s just that sometimes i look like february.”, “….sure…” 1) amazing line. truly fantastic. 2) come on. nat’s pregnant.

fak and natalie’s “mom & son” relationship is so weird and i love it. “yes, my honey?” who actually says thay to another adult in a non-actually being someone’s mom, or a “non-bdsm” capacity? apparently nat.

“you alright? you want a sprite? you look kinda green.” 1) this line that richie says to nat will come back to be important in a few episodes. 2) this is the second time in like a minute that someone’s commented on nat’s appearance and her not looking great. so, she’s definitely pregnant. like, they’re not even trying to hide it, as they hide it.

ebra’s hesitation about going to culinary school BREAKS MY HEART. ugh. i love ebra. sad ebra makes me sad. “i don’t want to wear a uniform” and tina’s immediate “it’s not that kind of uniform.” implying he was thinking of his time in the army in samalia….UGH, EBRA!

however, excited tina, giddy at the thought of culinary school, is such a vibe.

fridge guy debacle continues: carmy calling the fridge guy, but getting interrupted as richie, fak, and marcus are trying (and failing) to move the lockers out of the space right outside his door.

also, (because of stereotypes in media) when carmy gives his number to the fridge guy, my first thought was “…so that’s gonna come up later.” because it’s easy to have written this scene without the phone number. sometimes a scene requires a number to be given and that’s that. but in this scene, it easily could have been different. so when carmy gives it, i knew we’d hear his number again. especially with how easy the number is to remember. (the classic 5-5-5 in the number. that happens in tv shows so often. someone has 5-5-5 in their phone number)

ok….so….again, i’ve watched this season like 100 times, and i think, I THINK, i understand why they have to open mikey’s locker to move it out? because it’s always confused me. the guys are struggling to open the locker, and they realize they have to open mikey’s locker which has been locked since his death. it’s a nice scene, and shows everyone’s acceptance and growth in the time since mikey has died. especially as richie puts a hand on carmy’s shoulder as carmy takes a moment right before he opens the locker. the tenderness and love between these two since season one is just incredible. but my thought was the stuff in the locker was too heavy making it harder to move? but the only thing in the locker is a hat from an event they worked in 2010. so, i’ve always been confused. the hat couldn’t weigh enough to make them not able to handle the lockers. i thought it was a clumsy way to get us to the emotional moment of finding the hat. BUT now i’m realizing that i think fak needed the locker open so he could get a better grip on his side of the locker and maneuver it easier? is that right? does anyone else actually know?

so syd and carmy go to carmy’s apartment. and in repeated viewings i’ve realized that it IS the same apartment from season one. we’re just getting better shots of it. and now i realize that his apartment is A DREAM! i mean, his kitchen is great, but the rest of his apartment is really nice. i’m legitimately jealous. they did a really nice job in season one (whether intentionally or not) making it look kinda like a shitty apartment. but there’s enough things i recognize in shots of his apartment in season two, that it’s definitely the same apartment.

the way carmy and syd avoid saying “michelin” in conversation, so that the show doesn’t have to pay for the copyright, is just fun. but i also love the two sides of the michelin chef spectrum. carmy who has experienced the shit you have to deal with of having them, and syd who is fresh and wants the recognition that comes with having one. in the light of how many restaurants and chefs are abandoning the michelin system, or are returning their stars, i think it’s a fascinating subtle storyline woven in this season. i’d love to see if it carries on into season three. knowing that it costs so much money to have a michelin star and that only one star has to do with the food.

“i will grant you [mold] has gained some traction in recent media cycles. it’s a buzzword, yeah, for sure.” what an iconic line from richie. as someone who has always been scared of mold….how is mold a recent buzzword? richie is unhinged and i love it.

once again, fak and richie getting their faces closer as richie dares fak to call mom (nat), and fak says he will, and they go back and forth just getting closer…..it has a weird sexual energy with it. i didn’t start this show shipping fak and richie, but i think they’d be cute together…

the scenes of ebra struggling at culinary school honestly break my heart. and tina encouraging ebra in his skills and him shakily saying “yes chef”….😭😭😭

i think it’s interesting that there’s a season long arch where just about everything syd cooks and makes tastes terrible. i think watching the show all at once makes the problem seem bigger than it was meant to be (at least to me), because we’ve been told how good of a chef she is, but we see her cook HER OWN creations and they all suck. it made me wonder how good she really was. which is maybe some of the point, but i think it’s showing that syd is still a chef that’s up and coming and learning. like carmy said last season, she’s very green. carmy is a chef with no end of awards and recognition, but we see him struggle with details and management. syd is inventive and quick on her feet, but we see that when she’s coming up with a recipe she fails a lot first. i think it’s meant to humanize her, or it’s a season arch to show her growth as the season continues.

the weird….dynamic of carmy thinking syd’s mom is alive (because she said “it’s my moms birthday dinner” and has never said “she died” or anything, so it’s an earnest and easy mistake). but when carmy asks her about her mom she just kinda….lies…?

i love the detail of signing “sorry” when something happens to just say “hey, let’s move on. this isn’t a big deal, and i’m sorry” is amazing. i’ve had little codes like that in service industry in the past.

nat’s lil’ monologue while sitting next to the messed up toilet while she’s on the phone with the plumber is great. and i love that she reveals that she’s pregnant (which again, easy to guess), but mostly i love that we’re not fulllllly sure if the plumber is a family friend, or a complete stranger. there’s SOME familiarity here obviously, but we’re not told if it’s enough familiarity for nat’s emotional word vomit or not. and that’s beautiful to me.

the pure comedic GOLD of “these ceilings are practically styrofoam, were we to have mold they would collapse when i go like this-“ hits ceiling. ceiling immediately collapses and proceeds to dump a pound of dirt, dust, and mold onto richie’s face. and then a kickball. and then richie looks up and goes “that’s it?” and a firefighter hat falls and hits his head. ugh. i can’t help but burst out laughing.

the reveal that syd’s mom is dead is so well done. the happy story, the smiles, and then lighting a candle on cake and them blowing it out while holding hands. the realization that what we, the audience, assumed was going to be a tense, awkward meal between two parents who had divorced but still got together to celebrate the moms birthday (for some reason), or maybe even the amicable celebration of a couple that divorced because they realized they weren’t good for each other and are “friendly” with each other. but instead it’s two people very much in love with a woman who has clearly died. ugh. it’s beautiful, it’s funny, and it’s heartbreaking, and it’s SUCH a simple and quick scene.

AND THEN, we move onto this scene at the grocery store. ok. here’s the thing. claire gets a LOT OF SHIT from people. a lot. and some of its fair and some of its not. SO. i’m gonna put my thoughts in their entirety HERE about her, and then when those instances come up in later episodes i might talk about them more in depth.

so, firstly, for the people who loved that the bear was a “sexless” show in season one, or that carmy seemed to be ace, or are carmy and syd shippers, or even those who claimed he was queer coded, there’s not much i can say to make you feel better. other than to say that the balance of work life and personal life is a super important one, especially in a show about a guy who has no personal life so that excel at his work life and has become burnt out by that process. so a romance or a deep relationship of some kind was a good choice for the show, because it brought about a storyline that i think is needed on carmy’s mental, and emotional health journey.

BUT the show trying to deepen that relationship with claire does so by simply “saying” it, and not showing it. which is the eternal issue with writers, especially when you have time, money, budget, and length of movie/tv series to deal with. but in a ten episode season, and this is already the end of the first episode when you introduce her, so you really only get to know her in episode three. that really only gives 8 episodes to know claire. and she’s not in like…3 or 4 of the episodes moving forward. meaning you have to: set up their history, set up how important she is, AND deepen their relationship to a place where we, the audience, are emotionally invested in them, AND when it hurts when they ultimately break up. but with only 4 or 5 episodes to do that, we can’t SEE it happen, we have to be TOLD it happens.

so we are told that carmy had a crush on her, to the point that he would draw her in his notebooks and his whole family knew he liked her, because mikey, richie and…john mulaney…tease him for it in the flashback episode. we are told how much claire likes carmy. we’re mostly told how good their relationship is, instead of seeing how good it is (carmy shows up to the restaurant a few times and says “i was talking with claire when….). we’re also told how close claire was to the fak’s and to richie (claire calls fak to get carmy’s number. she calls richie cousin (the only other person to do that other than mikey and carmy). there’s a lot of their relationship we don’t get to see, and it makes some sense because those scenes would be slower, deeper, and take time. and you only have 30 minutes and 4 or 5 episodes to accomplish this.

which makes the sort of hypocrisies in their relationship just not believable. carmy was obsessed with claire growing up, but when they meet he gives her a fake number so she can’t call him, because he knows she’s looking to date him after they run into each other. and he’s a little slow to open up to her, but finally does and she helps him a lot in his mental health and panic attacks. and on claire’s side, she gets labeled a manic pixie dream girl, which isn’t necessarily unfair, but her less than realized character (her main defining character trait is: i like carmy) is only because we don’t get to see much of her, and she was brought in to be a love interest to carmy. so she’s not fully realized, and her only real trait is liking carmy. plus, carmy is so aloof, and closed off that from a writing standpoint we needed claire to have this manic pixie love and attraction in pursuing carmy, because that was the only way they were going to get together. carmy would never have pursued claire, because he sacrifices his own enjoyment and personal life for cooking. but it doesn’t make sense then, that claire has kind of an obsessive love for carmy from the moment she sees him at the grocery store, and she admits that she liked him in high school, but she never made a move and he didn’t even really know she knew who he was.

these sort of conflicting narratives: carmy is in love with claire, but gives her a fake number when they run into each other as adults (he even forgets her name when we’re introduced); claire is in love with carmy from the beginning of them running into each other as adults (which would hint that she was in love with him when they were young) but never paid him any attention when they were young, BUT was so close to them that she remembered the name of their planned restaurant all these years later…they all could have been made possible and been written in a way that was believable. but not with the time constraints the show had and the other storylines the show focused on. so we are simply told a lot of this, not shown a lot of this. it maybe could have worked if they built claire and carmy’s relationship up this season; a sort of will-they-won’t-they, and then once carmy is sold on the relationship, build that up in season three, for the big collapse at the end of season three. but that would have ruined the season long arch and left carmy without a deep, traumatic emotional arch and more of a rom-com, fluffy arch this season and that’s not really the show’s style.

so, i don’t hate claire. i think she, as a character, wasn’t given the time to breathe and grow and show the audience why we should care about her. i would love if they brought her back for season three, to see her grow and get fleshed out as her own character, especially as a character outside of her love for carmy. but since she broke up with carmy, i don’t see much of a road into the show moving on and it would also make a lot of sense if we never really see her again. even despite her “close” relationship to the fak’s and to richie.

as someone who has had to have the conversation with my parents about my weird working situations, like being paid for a month, but then not being paid for six months even though i’m going to work and working 12 or more hours because i’m starting something…uff, i feel syd’s frustration as she tries to explain it to her dad. and the fact that the budget is paying everyone in the shop except carm, nat, and syd (the bosses) is so fucking good. because that’s how it fucking should be. you pay the people who need it, because you need them to be there when you get back. it’s how you keep workers, especially good ones. bosses and leaders of businesses need to actually sacrifice for the shop and for their workers if they want it to work. plain and simple.

but, we see some of that writing magic i was talking about earlier when carmy gives her a fake number. he told the fridge guy his number earlier, and then he gives claire a different number. we know that he wouldn’t give fridge guy a fake number. so we realize he’s giving claire the fake. that’s why we saw him give the fridge guy his number.

AND that’s the episode! episode two down! it’s a great episode. and it sets up a LOT for the rest of season two. looking forward to episode three!

SEASON ONE: Episode One | Episode Two | Episode Three | Episode Four | Episode Five | Episode Six | Episode Seven | Episode Eight

SEASON TWO: Episode One | Episode Two | Episode Three | Episode Four | Episode Five | Episode Six | Episode Seven | Episode Eight | Episode Nine | Episode Ten

#the bear #comedy #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear tv #sydney adamu #the bear series #richie jerimovich #live blog #live blogging

[onyourowndaisymae]

obey me brothers as taylor swift fans pt. 1

what's their favorite album? their favorite songs? are they a vocal fan or is taylor a guilty pleasure of theirs?

characters included: Lucifer, Mammon, and Leviathan

i have. so many thoughts on this. i had to expel this from my brain before it drove me nuts. part 2 will include the younger brothers. i will probably make a part 3 with the dateables once i think on it a little longer. my credentials: i've been a swiftie since the debut/fearless era, so i know my shit. obey me swifties rise up

content warning: very brief discussions of death

Lucifer: The Evermore Fan

let it be known that this is not his fault.

lucifer really only listens to his beloved classical vinyl records. he's not one to keep up with musicians, especially not musicians from the human world.

he spent one afternoon retrieving asmodeus from a coffee shop in town. it was a quaint little establishment known for incorporating touches from both the human and celestial realms into its theming. the cozy, bookish sitting area wasn't exactly where he expected his flamboyant younger brother to be, but to each their own.

an unfamiliar song from the human world played over the speakers of the coffee house. a low, pleasant female voice drifted through the murmurs of the coffee shop. lucifer didn't stick around for very long-- he only a small snippet of the music that day. then why was he still thinking about it more than a week later?

he couldn't get that damn song. out. of. his. head.

he's tapping his pen against his desk to the rhythm. the snippet of the lyrics he caught is playing on repeat while he does the laundry. it's driving him absolutely fucking nuts.

through a few nonchalant questions and some digging in his free time, he finally got the name of the song and the artist (note: it was willow). with a bit more finagling, he finally got his hands on a vinyl for the deluxe version of evermore.

he finds an evening where all of his brothers are out of the house, pours himself a glass of demonus, and puts the vinyl on. at the very least, even if he hates it, he can at least purge the song from his head that'd been lingering for the past few weeks.

... it's a much better record than he expected.

something about the combination of the earthy instrumentals and the artist's heavenly alto really soothes the soul.

the evermore vinyl becomes one of his favorites-- one that he keeps stashed at the back of a cabinet, of course. he had no interest in hearing any questions his brothers might have if they happened to find it in his office.

the complexities of the melodies and the poetic lyrics speak to him. he has a particular fondness for marjorie-- a song about losing a loved one and carrying them with you as you continue on in life. i don't feel the need to spell out why he likes this one in particular.

evermore is an album lucifer never thought he'd find, nor did he believe he'd enjoy. but now it's become a good record to turn to when he's alone and has a free night to himself. he might not know much about the artist (she is a human world musician, after all, and he's much too busy to keep up with human culture), but he holds such fondness for this soothing autumn-y record.

favorite songs: champagne problems, marjorie, evermore (feat. bon iver)

Mammon: The Reputation Fan

mammon, like his brother asmo, prides himself on keeping in touch with all the latest trends that pass through the devildom. after the exchange program began, a renewed interest in human pop culture took roots in RAD.

very few pieces actually stuck, but mammon took it upon himself to get cozy with all that lame human stuff. he has a lame human back at home, y'know? what kind of friend would he be if he didn't at least know a little about what's popular up above? so he spends a free afternoon digging through the newspaper's recent post on devilgram about what humans supposedly like.

... taylor swift, huh? well, mammon isn't going to deny that she's hot. especially in that sparkly black leotard on stage... what, is that like, a tour or something? is she popular enough to tour? this is... the reputation tour. huh. seems interesting enough.

what started as interest through thirst quickly became interest in earnest as he watched some of the tour performances. he's like a crow, drawn in by flashy lights and sparkles. this little endeavor, originally meant to take no more than an hour or two, ate up the rest of his night.

suddenly it's 2am on a thursday night-- he's supposed to be asleep, yet here he is, deeply entrenched in the reputation lore. what a jerk that kanye guy is, interrupting her on stage like that! then to lie about her on social media with that fake phone call-- oohh! he's pissed! mammon ends up more mad about the taylor drama than taylor herself. it's been years. people have moved on (another day, another drama, drama). not him, though (all he thinks about is karma).

we all know that mammon, despite all appearances, is a massive simp. so it makes sense that he would really like an album full of love songs. reputation is an album about falling in love at your lowest, about someone finding you broken and loving you through it all. he's a sucker for that sort of messaging.

this obsession-- stanship, fan behavior, whatever you'd like to call it-- is, of course, private. he's a cool, slick casanova. unfortunately for taylor, she doesn't quite mesh with that image. no worries, though. their connection is strong, even if it is kept just between them. (she's his ruri-chan)

reputation holds a special place in his heart because it's the moment when taylor finally finds her one true love (which he found through his intensive research) and accepts being the fear and happiness that comes along with it-- what? no! he's not crying! there's just... dust in his eye! yeah! dust in his eye, and new year's day just happens to be playing, coincidentally, totally unrelated--

so his interest might have started out surface-level. he might have been drawn in by flashing lights and glitter (plus the appeal of understand the human's culture better than his brothers), but by the end of it all, mammon is a certified swiftie. not that he'd ever admit it, though.

favorite songs: don't blame me, king of my heart, call it what you want

Leviathan: The Fearless Fan

... hear me out. i'm well aware this is sort of an odd choice, but i stand by it.

leviathan doesn't really... date. like at all. he's very content fixating on his 2D waifus and distancing himself from normie stuff. and that's all fine and good. but those times when he lifts his head up from his game to see his brothers getting close with others, while he locks himself in his room and shuts everyone out? it stings a little.

you remember that old rudolph movie, the one with the little blonde elf dentist? specifically, his line "you can't fire me, i quit!" in one of the songs? i promise i have a point here

i feel like levi has that sort of complex about love. i think there's a hopeless romantic somewhere deep in there, buried under all the layers of deflection he uses to keep everyone out.

all of this to say: he loves old taylor swift music.

taylor's early works revolve around the highs and lows of young love, woven together in fantastical stories that cast a rose-colored light. levi lives vicariously through this music.

it actually fits him well because he can experience the complex emotions of love packed into a three minute song, all from the comfort of his room and without fear of rejection!

that being said: if anyone were to catch him jamming out to taylor swift in his bedroom, he'd end it all right then and there.

he's very careful to hide this interest from his brothers. anime? video games? sure, they can understand that. but girly, lovey-dovey taylor swift? they'd never let him hear the end of it!

make no mistake, though-- he is a diehard fan. he watches her live performances on deviltube. he knows all her biggest hits. he'd have merch if any of it was subtle.

fearless is his favorite album because it throws itself into being hopelessly, passionately, clumsily in love. he admires how unashamed it is to be so, y'know... normie. cringe, in his eyes. vulnerability? yikes!

he likes the love songs best. sure, there are plenty of good breakup songs on fearless, but he's here to imagine himself lost in young love, not getting dumped. he likes the idea of romantic tension, of dancing in the rain, of friends finally becoming lovers after secretly pining for one another for ages-- especially that last one. he hopes one day he might get caught in a friends-to-lovers plot and fall in love with someone he knows like the back of his hand.

levi knows he is a simple hopeless romantic. but when he plugs his headphones in and turns on taylor's music, he feels, just for a moment, like maybe the pursuit of romance isn't so hopeless after all.

favorite songs: fearless, love story, you belong with me

[psst... yeah, you. did you want a link to the spotify playlist? here it is. it already has the songs for part 2 on there, so beware of spoilers for the next post!]

#obey me (taylor's version) #this took for fucking ever #but i think we're once again approaching magnum opus territory #i have so many thoughts #and feelings #i could go on all day #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #otome #taylor swift #obey me swifties hit my fuckin line

[avisperocustom]

On spirals

Babe, we're having a human experience. We're part of god, we're limitless consciousness, but we're also inhabiting a body.

I got triggered yesterday. I mentioned my sps, the 3d responded badly..Or so I thought.

Oh boy. If you're in the same boat as me, this is for you and for me.

So, you got triggered. You got bad thoughts...Now what?

NOW YOU PERSIST, BAYBEEE! THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE!

See, when you get triggered it's you falling from one state of reality to a more unfavorable, and perhaps familiar, one. I know the state I fell to very well, it's low and it's full of anxiety. Horrible, sticky anxiety that fills my lungs and makes my heart beat way too fast. Boo, horrible, nobody likes it. My 3d reflected my fears and my assumptions. Babe, the 3d is nothing but a collection of your thoughts and feelings. I mentioned Teddy to my friend, whom I had built the assumption about that she hates him. What did I get? Exactly that.

SO. You know you fell into a bad icky state, how to get back to the better, more favorable state? I'm getting to that honey

FIRST AND FOREMOST,

Fulfill your basic needs: Hunger, Hygiene, Release, Sleep.

Try to sleep it off. It could be your mortal body that's screaming for help.

"[Redacted], it didn't help, I'm still triggered, I can't do this, manifestation isn't real, i'm crazy delusional and sp doesn't love me" It exists, we all have been through this honey, the feeling is normal, you WILL feel crazy and delulu at some point, it's completely natural, even more when you're going through this journey alone, but I assure you manifestation is real.

IF SLEEPING IT OFF DIDN'T WORK, IT'S BEEN MULTIPLE HOURS OR EVEN A DAY,

STEPS TO RESCUE YOURSELF OUT OF A SPIRAL:

1- Check your self concept:

WHAT, is being said by the unfavorable state? What are you thinking right now? In my particular state, it was a complete victim state. "Why does my sp hurt me, what did I do" (Babe I manifested my own hurt in that one reality lmao the fuck you mean "what did you do") "I'm so hated, abandoned and unwanted" "I'm not chosen" "I'm pathetic and forgotten"

2- Ground yourself:

Remember who the fuck you are. WHO ARE YOU? You're that bitch. You're limitless consciousness, and whatever you say in your reality is what goes. Babe you're, literally, a god. You're all powerful and all capable. You're wanted, you're loved, you're admired and you are capable of ANYTHING you desire. You're desired, you're absolutely gorgeous, chosen, pursued, sought after because you're so fucking rare and amazing. YOU, ARE LOVED. YOU, ARE THE SOURCE OF EVERYTHING HAPPENING AROUND YOU, LIFE HAPPENS THROUGH YOU, AND NOT TO YOU. IT'S YOUR INNER MAN THE ONE TELLING YOU, "LISTEN TO ME, I AM GOD, I CREATE FROM CLAY MY OWN REALITY."

3- Release that energy:

Baby it's time to get that anxiety physically off of you. Move around, dance, work out, shake yourself out of it. Rant to yourself how amazing you are. If you need to meditate? Do so. Listen to music. Listen to a subliminal, that shit doubles as affirmations being hammered into your brain and if the music is hype as a way to get that icky feeling outta you. Go walk your dog. Ground yourself on grass. Get straight in the ocean, or jump inside a pool. Anything. But get that shit out of your body. My only tip here is to not consume anything that isn't positive, manifestation content. Do not trigger yourself further. No sad songs, no "waaaa poor me" shit. REMEMBER WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.

4- Persist, persist, PERSIST:

Remember that the 3d is fake. All of this is subject to change, from one second to the next. You didn't ruin your manifestation, nor even delayed it because you had a human day. You're a god living a human experience, training to be a higher being one day when your body is, at its right time and without intervention, gone. You're allowed to have flaws. You're allowed to have a bad day. You can talk about your fridge disappearing all you want, but if you KNOW you have a fridge, it'll still be there in the kitchen where it belongs. KNOW, that your manifestation is happening. No matter what you see, remember that from the first time you put your foot down and affirmed for your manifestation, it's already done. Nothing to seek, nothing to change, nothing to wait for. It's done, it happened. You revised successfully, and changed realities.

Moved back to the wrong reality? Boo, all you did was take the wrong bus. Just get your bus pass and go back to the neighborhood you should be at, silly. Your sp loves you, you have the money, your past is exactly what you want it to be, you're healthy, you'll be fine

Affirm. Or visualize, or script. Or idk float around somewhere. Whichever technique you use, remind yourself of what you have.

You'll be fine. I'll be fine. We'll be fine together.

And let me tell you.

I was spiraling so hard yesterday, I didn't even register I had solid, clear movement. More than once, I had clear movement. And I was so blind to it, swallowed up by my worries and pulling my hair and thinking oh god, I'll lose it all, that I didn't even notice.

My revision didn't go well, it went perfectly.

#sp manifestation #law of assumption #loass #neville goddard

[tunastime]

for the ask game!!

"It's true, isn't it?"

“I don’t think so,” Etho shakes his head. He looks into his hands, picking at a chip in his nail. “I still loved you. Still love you.”

“Sure.” Bdubs doesn’t sound truly convinced, but he says it in a gentle voice that Etho’s only heard when Bdubs is making sure he’s okay when he hurts himself, a voice he heard a lot in the death game. But it doesn’t bite any less. Etho sighs.

“Why are you here, Bdubs?” he says, finally turning to him. “When there’s a perfectly good version of you asleep somewhere, alive.”

“Because you’re dreaming about apologizing to me, your brain’s stuck on hallucinating me,” Bdubs says, furrowing his brow. “Because you feel bad.”

“I don’t...I don’t think I feel bad.”

The shape of Bdubs’ face finally comes into view, the one he knows from outside the games, unbruised and awake.

“You sure?”

laurie belaurie only you would choose this fic and it means so much to me that you did!

this is from Night Swims (previously called You're My Favorite Ghost), and it takes place right after Hot Tea! gosh, this fic was so fun for me, I really dived right into how ethubs works as characters and tried my best to analyze etho without having bdubs there.

through this entire fic, etho's guilt and despair manifests physically as the "ghost" of bdubs, who follows him around his modded world. tldr: he can't sleep, and his guilt makes it worse! I originally got this idea after a beloved mutual (nightbug! hi!) sent me an ask curious on how etho dealt with the loss of bdubs post last life, and honestly. until that point, I don't think I'd realized that etho just. doesn't really go back to hermitcraft after last life. not in his videos, not really. he jumps straight into modded. and so I started writing!

this scene in particular is really interesting to me, because etho isn't really good at dealing with complex emotions, to me--he can, but he's a lot more likely to just pretend they don't bother him all that much. he's real easy going, real cool and chill, and I think there is a point where things get to him, but when they do, they really get to him (something I talked about in Spacer!). he tries hard to keep it at bay by working harder ("With no left over time for thinking too hard. With no left over time to mourn. Right.") but there comes a breaking point (this section) where he's forced to confront his feelings.

it was purposeful to have etho confront his feelings in a way that wasn't internal--that is, bdubs' ghost being the reason he "can't keep doing this" and eventually sends a letter to bdubs. so while he's trying to work and trying to put it off, those feelings get to a point where he's forced to do something about them, or risk making himself miserable in his condition. I think etho, alongside tango, are two characters that put big, difficult, complex feelings aside to deal with later, only to never come back to them. at least I think so!

this fic is actually titled after the half alive song Night Swims, chosen in post. the song is more of a spoken word piece, and I think it's descriptions of needing to shed feeling and take a break from the world, and from yourself, is really pertinant to what etho was experiencing. he's suffering through grief and self-doubt and anger with himself and isn't able to fully realize it. instead of facing those feelings head on, he takes a break, and in doing so, accidentally makes that grief worse by feeling like he's running from the source. it's only in Back Around, the follow up fic to Night Swims, that etho feels strong enough to face those feelings and return to hermitcraft, to season 9.

anyway! i'm still insane about ethubs to this day. i always meant to write another half alive inspired ethubs fic...

(x)

#ask #ethubs #text #fics #ask game #HIII LAURIEE HIIII EHEHHEHE #i'm so glad you chose this fic.. i love this one a lot :( #definitely one of my flop fics lmao <33 cult classic if you will #i had no idea you actually read it tbh #fun fact i wrote the bit about etho building a house for no one first <3 #it was what inspired me #anyway ty laurie!! <33

[blackthorn-legion-irl]

sendoff.mp4

[A mysterious video is uploaded on Blackthorn's account. No metadata exists to determine who, how, or why it was posted…]

A calm moonlight shines through the window. It shines on Den, Saffron, Fuchsia, and Cerulean, sleeping like a pile of kittens, barely distinguishable as separate beings.

A few minutes pass. Then a shadow dims the moonlight for a moment, and Den awakens. She gets up, careful not to wake the others, trying to give them just a little extra sleep. Eventually - gently, subconsciously - she starts to sing.

A second set of voices joins her for a duet - Saffron, Fuchsia, and Cerulean, the Pixies singing in harmony, simultaneously one voice yet three.

As they sing, it seems that the world has stopped around them. Not in the sense of a dark future, but in the sense of a moment of peace forever fixed in time.

A subtle glow surrounds each of the Pixies as the song continues, growing stronger, in the colour of their name. In the same time, Den seems to radiate a shadow - one of calm, as the empty night sky waiting to be filled with stars.

Before, as the song comes to its end, 'Arigato to...~' The glow blinds the camera with white for a moment, before it fades. The moon is shaded by clouds; the only light now comes from three floating wisps - one gold, one pink, one blue - and Den's red eyes shining in the darkness.

The wisps start to circle her. Faster, faster, spiralling inwards, until - a glow forms around her head. She closes her eyes, the glow fades into shadows.

The moonlight returns.

Revealing Den---revealing Blackthorn. Clearly tired, clearly damaged - clearly whole, as much as she can be. She stumbles blearily over to the bed, collapsing onto it. The only sound, her steady heartbeat.

And a trio of familiar voices singing her to sleep.

//ooc under the cut

//picrew source

and that's the end of this... pseudo-arc? i'm not sure what to call it still, but. the intro post will be updated at... some point. not sure when. but it needs a pretty big go-over anyway, so.

so what happens now? technically, blackthorn refers to the four of them, whereas den refers to den herself. in their whole state though, the two are pretty much interchangeable - as such blackthorn is simultaneously one person and four. self-reference-wise - she'll mostly use i/me, though depending on the context may switch to we/us. likewise, referring to saffron/fuchsia/cerulean will use he/she/they respectively. any pronouns are okay for any of them, though, as ever - she'll particularly be aware of plural they as an option depending on context.

while i'm noting this as it's what i use currently and thus what blackthorn will eventually stick to - she's got to work out how to communicate with the pixies first..... so do i, for that matter. it'll be easier for her though. as a bonus, the pixies also get a headspace (which i don't think i have) so i can keep making picrews of them. the irl equivalents just roll around my brain like when you have pokemon-amie on the bottom screen and get on the bike. i mean what :v

i appreciate everyone who's interacted in any way - in terms of me working out stuff irl i consider it a success also. thank you. i want to special thanks to spritemod and indigomod - while i know it wasn't intended, the timing of the runaway arc and such (even though i blocked a lot of it) really helped me with some particular cases in a safe environment, which otherwise i might not have gotten for a while. so that's a bonus.

probably when i update the intro post i'll also make a list of links to all the big major writing of this semi-arc. that might take a bit but i hope to have it done by the end of the weekend.

as for now? blackthorn's just doing her thing. helping people out, posting memes and stupid jokes... just with a little more understanding of what's going on behind the mask. (and a clearly totally valid excuse of 'no i don't have a soft side. that's just fuchsia')

#soul heckers #blackthorn.mp4 #//okay to interact with as a posted video #//as with the others this will post when i'm asleep for timezone reasons

[adventures-in-asexuality]

End-of-year ramblings

Video games

Yeah, okay, let's start here. Obviously I played a truly inexplicable very explicable amount of FFXIV this year, and will continue to do so (can't believe Dawntrail will be dropping next year; we've stuck at it through all the waits between patches).

Baldur's Gate 3 was fun; I didn't expect to play it, but so many people I know loved it that I had to try, and I'm glad I did.

The same really goes for Cyberpunk 2077; honestly most of what I like about the game is the experience of it, rather than the stories. Whoosh! Zoom! Neon and doublejumping!

The other major new game this year for me was Mask of the Rose; I really loved it! I think the post-release patches helped it a lot as a game, but honestly I was hooked right from the beginning. (This was probably the start of the series of events that got a friend playing Sunless Skies/me replaying Sunless Skies/me returning to Fallen London and accidentally convincing some friends to also do so. No regrets.)

Music

Big album this year has to be Bury the Lede by Dessa. I was going to listen and enjoy it no matter what, but I really do like the way a lot of the songs resonate with growing older, still having all the same big feelings, but being way too tired to deal with them in any kind of high-octane way. What if I'm Not Ready in particular really tugs at something in me.

I'm not sure I have more new music this year; I've been a bit disconnected from everything, mostly listening to music when someone hurls links my way. Maybe next year!

Books

I read a lot of books this year, as ever, but the vast majority have been rereads; I've been quite low on book recs again. Here's a few of the new ones - I won't cover all of them because I don't have that kind of patience. (Counted - 33 new ones - which, compared to the sheer number of rereads, is low.)

She Who Became the Sun/He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan were a fun pair of books, about a girl who steals her brother's name and destiny when he dies so that she can shape the world/become the emperor. I liked some of the gender vibes you get in this - Zhu Yuanzheng's gender is never really defined, but also never at all fits in a binary mould. A lot of the second book, however, felt a bit extraneous and a bit gratuitous in various directions. Overall, I think this is a rec for reading the first one and skipping the second.

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle - everyone reading this probably already knows, but yeah, this is good. There's always something special to me about stories about queer kids in fundamentalist Christian churches - sure, it's usually American churches, but it's still a commonality that resonates powerfully with me. Read it.

Somewhere in summer I read all of Tana French's murder mysteries. I quite liked the Dublin Murder Squad books - nothing special but fun - but I honestly really disliked her two later standalones. The politics in them just set my teeth on edge a bit - The Wych Elm's protagonist is so dismissive about disability that, while I know it's part of his characterisation, it still left a bad taste in my mouth; The Searcher's protagonist has some views on politeness and morality that just make me sigh. (Rec for the murder squad books if you, like me, just really like murder mysteries.)

The Stone Gods by Jeanette Winterson: every year I'll read one more of her books, I guess. They're always good. They always haunt me.

Translation State by Ann Leckie was good; of course it was. I think it comes with my biggest overall caveat for an Ann Leckie book (I really wish Qven and Reet's subplot had ended differently; I know it was written as a metaphor for something else, but I read and resonated with it as a metaphor for aceness, which the ending doesn't leave space for) but it was still great. And we saw Sphene again!!

TV/film

Not much this year; my brain hasn't been in the right space for it.

Watched the Evangelion rebuild - I still haven't seen the original series so this was an interesting experience. I'm not really sure what my takeaway from it was, or what exactly I watched (apart from giant photorealistic Rei - we watched the fourth film in the cinema, so it was truly giant) but hey, I get more references now.

That same group of miscreants has been watching Lexx - seriously, do not watch this. It's rancid. It's so bad we have lost the ability to evaluate media, because everything else is good compared to it. Awful. Terrible. 15 more hours to go until we're free. I'm not going to describe it because the descriptions sound interesting and it is a terrible show. Never watch it. Strangle anyone who tries to make you.

Almost forgot, but I think this was the year I watched Yellowjackets - phenomenal even when your point of comparison isn't Lexx. I'm waiting for the third season with bated breath. It's so good. It's so awful. It's breaking my heart. Please watch this immediately and then come scream with me.

I'm also making my way through Young Pope, which - I don't know if I'd say that I'm enjoying it, but it is certainly doing things to my brain. It resonates with me in a similar way to Camp Damascus; even though they're on very different areas of the right-wing Christian spectrum, the fundamental beliefs and desires and angers and fears and reactions are the same.

Heaven's Official Blessing Season 2 finally happened!!! I'm still working my way through it - the friend I watch with has had no time this year, so we're using the holidays for it - but, oh, I love this book and these characters so much.

More personal stuff

Work has actually been quite bad this year; I've largely been on a project that's gotten worse and worse as the year goes on, in a way I fundamentally cannot fix but have to try to anyway. I've been circling between 'I hate this, I should job search' and 'I'm so bad at everything, only this job would put up with me' and 'at least wfh doesn't mean I'm in danger of losing it'. By Easter or so, I should be free from it at last, so I'll keep an eye out and hopefully things will even out again.

Home has, however, been a lot better. I moved towns at the end of last year to somewhere that has more friends and a more walkable town centre (and much cheaper rent) and it's been an excellent choice. Only having to walk five minutes or so to get to a shop or see a friend has meant that I've been able to practise walking five minutes or so (whereas in my last place, it was a walk then a twenty-minute bus ride just to the town centre) - and that in turn has meant that I've been able to build that up bit by bit, and occasionally run headlong into my limits in the process.

It's been a bit of a weird holiday season in particular for me this year, laced with grief and memories. Hosting a Christmas dinner and cooking with several other people felt right in a way it's hard to really put words to, and also reminded me very strongly of my grandmother. Her house was always a gathering place for all the family, as well as a refuge; it's eight or nine years since I last set foot inside it and yet I could still tell you the layout of her kitchen, the mnemonic for the bank of eight light switches in the hallway, the warmest place in winter and the coolest place in summer. Nowhere I've lived before has been nice enough for people to visit often, let alone to cook in or to know their way around; cooking and organising with people, seeing them remember locations and extend tables and understand the hob, soothes something it is difficult to explain.

Next year, then:

I hope to have somewhat more brain and less exhaustion (I've been so tired all year, which is tedious as fuck).

I hope for many of my friends to have considerably better years, and that the rest will continue to have good years. (I am threatening the years with a knife until they are kind to all of you.)

I hope to continue to shape this flat into somewhere pleasant to be, and persuade people to be there from time to time.

I hope to get a better idea of my work situation when I'm not on a horrible project.

I hope that the GIC might at least tell me that I'm on a waiting list!

I intend to find a tangible creative hobby one way or the other (taking suggestions as long as you can present a use case for the hobby; Queenie keeps suggesting knitting in the abstract).

And, as always, I hope to love more freely, be kinder and more helpful, and to try to build a future that has space for me.

#end of year nonsense

[fetabathwater]

slides in here 🧎‍♂️ Fans, Baby, Wild card!

questions here!

This got so long I had to stop myself finally.

Fans: How is their relationship with their fans? Do they go out of their way to interact? 

Look, Jennifer Lamb is a category 5 hurricane of emotion on the average day, but something about the fans just twinges something in her brain. In the small bars, yeah she'd be more than happy to sit around the bar later, chatting with the ones who'd hung around, let them buy her a beer or two, and go on her way. Sign some things, and y'know throwing out the usual guitar picks and broken drumsticks to the local small crowd. Discounting shirts and homemade merch at a bar while they were one of the bands to float through the night. Maybe throwing everything in a free tote bag that has a scribbled logo. Especially as favours to any bar owners who let them in, then it'd probably get a lil more of a personal touch especially if they had kids of their own who were fans and/or they were fans themselves, then it would still largely be merch. More or less short circuits her because people like the band. And Her. And the Music. And they want to HAVE something of hers. Wild.

But her interaction with fans is actually her being an absolute nutjob and trawling fansites. Most of her private life has already ended up online or splashed across local magazines, especially because of the very public fight/breakup with Seven, and then recently finding out from Maya that the number one fansite is run by a teenager… it's quite accessible in the worst way. Jen is super interested in reading fansites, just to see what they've posted/what they know. The kind of manic 'I should be sleeping 3am but I'm on wikipedia energy' but instead she's going down a rabbit hole of her own history, especially when people still keep up photos of Seven in the band - and she fucking loves polls. (Jen you would've loved og gossip girl fr). Definitely has made a throwaway account on a forum more than once (she forgets the password not long after making an account) and like. Loves to deep dive on timelines and people breaking down the meaning in her songs. She is that one person who responds to the song meanings like 'its about having sex relax its not that deep' and then is like. Told she's wrong and banned. Also it's so funny for her, when she's wrangled into appearing on their social media, to drop like some batshit insane comment or demo, and then has her little 1 hour scroll through these people going bananas. She has a few favourite accounts bookmarked, even. Stupid head.

Sheenas as the fan name for her came about after one of Jen's first solo covers (pre-breakup actually) was her doing 'Sheena Is A Punk Rocker', but also dressed like Sheena, Queen of the Jungle from the comics, at a Halloween party for the local crowd, and it kind of stuck... she only found out why recently from Maya. So not only is she like, confused anyway, but then she's like doing maths about when this kid would've seen that video. Did they see all of it? Should she check what versions were uploaded? Can she get a copy?

But essentially she's now very much publicly in the space of actually having Orion largely coach her through interactions because... she's floundering. Literally becomes a publicist's wet dream with how she can get the smiles and the eyes and the hand movements, and mostly manages to not let her mouth run, but it's like she needs to be micromanaged because this is no longer the comfortable small bar shit she loves and wants to go back to. Even before ending up on the TV, really. A lot of the focus is also on (pretty much) deflecting questions about Seven, but in particular the like months following it all. There was one very salty former fan who took it quite personally and just missed Jen's eye with a pin (that they actually had handed out at one gig many moons before). And her pre-pin incident comments about him weren't even bad! People just lost their marbles.

She did actually set up a PO Box at one point, with the intent of people sending fanmail to because she has a soft spot for handwritten letters, but it hasn't been advertised since the pin incident. Superfans may know about it, but Jen also hasn't checked it in years.

Baby: How do they feel about Jazzy leaving? How are they coping? What are their plans to stay in touch?

I looked back on my answer for this and. Okay no, we're changing our tune a bit.

Whilst Jen is happy for her, and knows that fundamentally Jazzy wanted something different from her life than Jen did... a part of her resents that Jazzy was able to walk away. And it's not even resenting Jazz! Realistically, it's easier to think that, even for Jen, that she's just so mad that even after everything, Jazz is able to walk away with the house and the husband and the white picket fence (not really but y'know). Those are also just like little bitey thoughts that plague her and make her do the what-if spirals that always end up "why didn't I just walk away, too?" because Jen doesn't even know if she wants any of the other things, anyway.

So Jen's coping is like correlation and causation type scale nonsense going on, especially with choosing to tour with Soft Violence, the way Jazzy reacted, even, and she's like. In such a place where she doesn't even know if she wants to reach out, keep updated and update Jazz, etc, etc. Because she also absolutely loves Jazz, and is so happy for her, and honestly wants to be there with her through this rollercoaster she's about to get on, because it's Jazzy. It's Jazzy. And god, she misses her so much already.

Wild card: Tell us something about your MC! Feel free to really just roll us over with an emotional steamroller and crush the souls out of our bodies, if you’d like. (You’re also welcome to choose one of the other questions to answer!)

Only other tattoo is the one on her lower stomach (Medusa head) (yeah that got repurposed sry Harper I'm doing smth else with you) but she absolutely loves the awful jokes she can make about it when people react after seeing it for the first time. "If someone is getting to a point where they can see it, [she] definitely knows that something turned to stone."

Jen does not understand how her putting on her glasses and Depression Greys™ makes her like. Walk around Clark Kent style. Fascinates her and compels her to try to do stupid shit with it.

This combined with her absolute inability to understand nor use social media has compelled some to see her as a #cryptid, which just further confuses her. She's seen her face on a post. She knows it exists. Yes she knows the name of the app? (don't embarrass her, man, there's hot people here)

Oh! And combining this with her Average Voice Resting Time™, where she's Clark Kent-ed out, wheat bagged and this close to just turning into a burrito, she uses a small whiteboard to talk. She's quite verbose, unfortunately.

Her fave flower is Queen Anne's Lace, because its a complex lil flower made up of dozens of others, and at the centre is a tiny lil red bud. The apparent story for it's naming is a provocation of Queen Anne to make a more complex lace flower than another king's wife, and in doing so she pricked her finger, so a little droplet of blood landed in the middle. There's also a poem! It's also for safety and refuge, because it turns inwards and seemingly 'dies' when it is actually ready to grow. Also attracts wasps lmao. It's commonly mistaken for baby's breath, which is everlasting love… which isnt wrong for Jen either, however it is that inward protection. At the centre of it all, there is a burst of colour, and she wants to protect it… the internalisation of it all.

During high school, she ran one of those ‘Ask Annie’ columns in the school paper. Her advice was ridiculous, and it was really well received even if she was pulling answers out of thin air. She's not sure if anyone cracked that it was her.

It did lead her to testing out some situations on people before answering, even. Or outright going 'hey if xyz happened do you think doing abc would work'. She wasn't even trying to be subtle by the end.

Jen has a pet bearded dragon. Named Lizanardo Da Vinci.

Just like how she has Vlad the Impala

Was voted most likely to date a rockstar. Made out with her own mirror image in response.

Turns out she’s got a real knack for maths. No one knows where it came from. Jen was one of those 'coasted through on C+/B-' kind of students. But no one is ever ready for the quick maths.

The first time Jen went in to get contacts, and was trying to put them in, and her arm was weirdly angled and the optometrist was patient but it freaked her out to think about putting something basically on her eye. Seven kind of like, went through the motions with her until she was comfortable.

He still has the pair of glasses that were always left in the right side pocket of his jacket. The case is worn and faded and cracked and still has all the stickers and scribbles on them, but the frames are still fine, lenses are only a check or two old, but Jen never knew how to ask for them back.

With Seven, especially when they were much younger, watching scary movies was such a big deal and like they were breaking the rules at sleepovers, even if it meant they were literally terrified. For days. It became "their thing" and especially as they got older with rewatches and marathons, and then the band, and eventually dating, the inside jokes were always there. Sometimes, they even used it as bad flirting, which weird people out just as much, if not more, than the fact that they were attached at the hip. Jen hasn't even looked at one of those movies since, and deleted OSTs, etc, off of any and all things.

Is a big fan of meditation because a girl sometimes has a lot of pent up energy and just wailing on the mic doesn't cut it. Quiet time, Jen is in her attempt at a lotus position.

#kornyo #replies #oc: jennifer lamb #I HAD TO WALK AWAY. #ALSO BC ITS 2AM. OOPS.

[well-dressedwords]

My Picks: Top Dramas of 2023

This is really for me to refer back to when people ask me what to watch. In no particular order or category:

Meet Yourself - having leads that were already well-established in their adult lives and careers was sooo refreshing. And though my heart got utterly torn out in episode one, I was completely invested in seeing Xu Hongdou's journey through grief and back into truly living.

The Blood of Youth - I can't recall why I gave this a chance, but I am extremely glad I did. I possibly watched the whole thing 3 times from forcing friends to sit down with me, and I appreciate the humor and characters even more on re-watches. The only romance I remotely cared about was the tragic one, but that was okay because romance was not the point of the main plot.

The Trust - I had actually watched the animated version of this story, which is maybe the 2nd I watched all the way through, and I loved the live action as well. The lead actors did a good job playing each other, and the humor was a nice relief during a hard time of the year for me.

A Familiar Stranger - I think I finally am okay with short dramas because this one was so well done. I adored their relationship, and even despite how terrible the secondary couple could be, wished for them to have a happy ending (in another life). I considered watching My Journey to You for Cheng Lei alone after this performance, but just couldn't get through it.

The Scent of Time - I know "popular" opinion is that the ending ruins it, but as a writer, I can accept the different possible endings - the novel's version where she gets her peace and someone to be her loyal companion, as well as the dream ending where she will have to work again to make a life for herself with the prince. I will eventually make a post on my thoughts about it. But it made me fall deeper for Zhou Ye and excited to see other dramas with Wang Xingyue...

Story of Kunning Palace - I love Bai Lu. I haven't watched all of her dramas, but there's something about her that I really enjoy in the right story. I liked that Xuening was still flawed and so was Xie Wei, and yet this time all of her harem get (relatively) happy endings. I was also surprised by Liu Xiening's performance as the princess. In some respects she had more chemistry with Xuening than either Zhang Zhe or Xie Wei. Wang Xingyue, did you intentionally do two projects with this premise on purpose?? [Also, those aggressive kisses?!?! Zhang Linghe, I didn't know you had it in you.]

A Journey to Love - I haven't finished it as I only watch a few episodes per day, and I did spoil myself on the ending. I can accept it because there has been so much foreshadowing. I'm here for the mature relationship, the humor, the friendships, the princess (my god, the PRINCESS!) and to be baffled by people disliking Liu Yuning.

Honorable Mentions:

The Starry Love - I need to go back and watch the episodes I fast forwarded through... I was more invested in the older sister's love story initially. Nevertheless, this is one I will rewatch.

The Love You Give Me - not at the very top because the plot feels overused and there were too many plotholes for my writer's brain. But I love their chemistry and Quanquan was worth sticking it out for.

Provoke - After enjoying A Familiar Stranger I had to give this one a shot. There were so many scenes that really captured my imagination. The leads carried their roles so well. It's my first Republican Era show and I suddenly get the appeal. Also, I love Du Jingchuan as a villain. He's so good at being skeevy.

Exploration Method of Love - I struggled through terrible subtitles because I've dreamed about these actors in a drama together. Gao Hanyu grabbed me in Love is Sweet, and Song Yanfei was great in The Trust.

*Butterflied Lover - I've seen one episode because the rest is behind a pay wall... but I am determined to watch it!

*Hilarious Family - at times the humor felt forced, but other times it hit for me. It wasn't compelling enough for me to finish it (yet) though I am curious as to what the ending is going to be.

#shows i'm watching #cdramas #best of 2023 #my *super* impartial list #lol #meet yourself #the blood of youth #the trust #a familiar stranger #the scent of time #story of kunning palace #a journey to love

[junjiie]

⊹ . ⠀ for my faves !!! ☆

♡ ⠀ you know who you are be fr.. My Four Faves!!!! (and taeil). i feel like tht shld be a trademarked phrase or sth LMAOO. anw. my gross little msgs for you 🤓 in no particular order i promise 😓 happy new yearr my sillies muah i love you all lots and lots!!!

› ⠀ GO ⠀ ★ ⠀ !

( @wave2love ) ⠀ ✦ ⠀ KARMA 🫧

let’s get this over with i Guess.. THE FIRST!!!! (on this acc anw). my main supporter when i was nothing but a nugu fr. i might start repeating what i said in my christmas msgs so sorry if i do but first. I LOVE YOUUU!!! MY STARMA!!! you are so strange and it’s a chore and a half to find songs you like and you spend way too much money on tiny bits of cardboard that really you could probably just print off and you make fun of me on twitter but i am taking one for the team and shouldering it all because i really do love you a lot 💗 my best friend!!! even if you call me a senior and apparently i have the worst reads ever (still scarred from how i got TORN TO PIECES over assigning you an idol and a song like. your other friends are crazy it was never that serious..) thank you for all the karma updates and the random little asks saying “us” (they really make my day) and reading over or looking at the things i send you and for letting me YAP on and on for two long ass paragraphs with multiple spelling mistakes about plots i am never going to actually follow through with (#RIPROCKET because let’s face it im probably never getting around to it). i still remember our pact and hopefully i’ll actually make a start on it this year. my tyun, my chenle, my ricky, my younger brother. i love you 💗

an us song ♪ ⠀ might b kind of an odd choice.. but it’s one i introduced you to!!! and you put it on your playlist!!! so it’s ours now ^.^

( @mins-fins ) ⠀ ✿ ⠀ ISA 🧸

ISAAA ML 🫶 another one of this accs first iktr.. I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHH i love your fics and your ocs and your brain (eats it) and all the comments you leave on my own stuff and all your asks (that i should really work on reciprocating omg!!! one of my resolutions will be to pop up in your inbox more i promise) and i just want to wrap you in a massive hug and spin you around until we fall over. even if you do make me want to log off permanently and start bawling with some of your angst fics (angst for MARK LEE of all people.. crazy). you are another one of my best friends ever!!! one of my favourites ever!!! you are so soft blanket cuddly teddy bear i want to do something really dumb and cringe with you like lie on a blanket in a park and look at the weird shaped clouds like they do in romcoms 😭 thank you for being one of the best parts of my year!!! you always make my day when we talk even just a little bit. i think you’re like an actual little pill of happiness omg.. i just love you so much. let’s have lots of fun this year too ^.^ isa wisaaa you’re my cinnamoroll jeno!!! and if i had to give us some other duos i think we’re quite haobin and sunkyu too 💗 (i think you’re very hanbin and changmin. for sure).

an us song ♪ ⠀ dream scenario where we’re in a dark room with blinding flashing disco lights and dancing and having fun and this is playing way too loudly in the background. this is our song now deal with it!! i love a bit of kylie omg.. x

( @so2uv @taeiun ) ⠀ ⟡ ⠀ SOL 🪼

i never know when you’re on which acc so i’ll j tag both. ‘become a dreamzen’ BETTER be on your to-do list for this year because so help me god i am going to make it happen. another from-the-start whaaaat!!! (all four of u are idk why i keep saying it like We Know..) I LOVE YOU SO BADDD CHEESECAKE OMG!!! actually so happy we got closer because you’re so cool and funny and amazing and a little Strange and Odd. in a good way. like i want to make you a little jellyfish tank in my heart or brain or chest something so you can live there and i can feed you. jellyfish food (????? boy i don’t know what jellyfish eat). thank you for the song recs and for listening to MY song recs (even if it takes you a while) and listening to my rambling and letting me in on things for fics or your ocs early (it makes me feel so special i fr giggle a little bit like what) and matching pfps w me (#2MIN4L.. we’re just too good) and forgiving me for unfollowing you like twice now 😓 (AN ACCIDENT BOTH TIMES I SWEAR). i love you a lot you’re so silly and fun and i’m glad i met you!!! i hope we talk a lot and have some fun this year too! and longer after that!!! my minho, my hyunjin, my renjun, my 원할 땐 맘껏 뿌려 jalapenos.. muah 💗

an us song ♪ ⠀ no, it’s not pretzel. it should’ve been. but it’s not. this is my favourite onlyoneof song, and i think it sounds a bit like you. so it’s ours now. Wink (ˊᗜˋ*)

( @astrozuya ) ⠀ ✶ ⠀ LUKA 💫

the FIRST first.. raise your hand if you remember heartchikara. and i55ji. and 7irara. ok the last 2 were the same acc but still. SFTOPP i went back and reread the thing i wrote you for your birthday and oh my god 😭 Call the Gay police.. this guy right here 🚨🚨🚔 ahhh but to be fr though i really meant it all :( i love you so baddd it makes my eye twitch and i start like breaking out into nervous giggles and i am at constant risk of exploding. i know we’ve kinda drifted a couple times this year so i am being FOR REAL when i say for 2024 im gonna try and annoy you so hard!!! you’ll be sick to death of me and scream for it to stop!!! but i just won’t!!! maybe not the long ass us otd ones as much (running out of us pictures.. there’s only so many duos i can pull out of my ass) but just. tiny little updates and stuff with songs that gave me a real #LUKAVIBE. thank you for still wanting to talk to me and listening to my song recs and sending me cute little asks and most of all for just. sticking around (๑´ㅂ`๑) it’s us forever loca!!! you are stuck with me i fear.. you’re a cute little rock or sea creature or something and im the barnacle attached to you. Forever. or maybe not if that’s too weird. #SOZ. so yeah. i love you so so soooo much. jjka (???? it was on the fly forgive me) duo 4L! my hyuka, my haechan, my hao, my slime (LMFAOO), and my star ⭐

an us song ♪ ⠀ it’s nothing new because it’s already on your playlist (sorry :<) but i just love it so much. steve lacy fr called me up and asked what i wanted to say to you and then made this song. Not even joking.

TAEIL ⠀ ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

laugh it up #IDGAF. guys he Will see this i am NOT crazy. stop do you wanna know sth funny.. before i started love, love, love he wasn’t even on my bias list 😭 back then it was mark jaehyun & doie LOLL. and then i wanted someone to be like a recurring theme so i chose taeil at random and then. i just fell down a massive rabbit hole. he’s so odd and weird and silly and strange and like genuinely i love him so bad????? he’s my ULT ult like i will never feel this crazy over another kpop guy EVER this is the end of the road for me. he is stuck with me forever (he does not know i exist). plus we’re literally #CONNECTED like my fave sanrio character is badtz-maru and guess who he got in the collab.. Yeah. ik ur all in shock rn. jjaeil is real johnny move over. kinda the worst year to become a mds though like he’s been THROUGH IT this year omg. i hope 2024 goes better for him and he makes a full recovery ^.^ god knows how im gonna cope when he enlists but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. thank you taeil for being my favourite and bringing me comfort, i love you ♡

you all deserve like. the whole world and more. muah 💕 happy new year lomls.. stay safe, maybe get a little drunk (NOT karma. go to bed toddler..), have fun, and i wish you all love and happiness and money and good music and good movies and good food. KISSESSS from ur fave (Me). baii!!!

#now why did i do all that.. #Fuck U Guys. I will kill anyone that hurts you btw. #karma if u dont acknowledge this i'll KILL myself i didnt write all that for nothing.

[builtintripping]

huehuehue time to ask EVEN MORE QUESTIONS because im crying rn. cant they just make a folder (in a pc) with like timmys memories (well atleast most or some) or will fairy magic wont let that? about the video games (nicktoons unite, breakin da rules, shadow showdown, etc.) did they happen in the past or didnt? (well i mean nu probably does but what about the fop games?) do they do crimes or are they just silly goobers? if timothy meets jimbo nutronio again would he like him or not interestted? (follow up to the cindy thing) idk if ive asked this before but does timmy like trixie after the memory wipe? would crocker remember timmy with fairies? what does timbo think of thy gurl tootie? would he remember THE SONGS!? (like icky vicky, my shiny teeth and me, etc.) how much coffee does each member take? was the last question unexpected? sorry theres way more asks than what i entended to ask about. i got carried away 🥲

Memory backup? They already tried doing that, but an error message would always show up during the process. Timmy theorizes that fairy magic is interfering, but Jimmy's having none of that, insisted there's another way around, and proceeded to wrack his brain for more possible solutions. Timmy, already resolved to follow through to his fate anyway, had to force Jimmy to stop who was spiralling down to madness for every second that passes as he repeat his fruitless attempts.

Did the FOP Games happen before memory wipe? I'm gonna confess: idk jackshit about them. 😅 But do they actually determine Timmy's future though? Let's assume for now that any games released before Poof's era (when the series's quality declined) happend. 👌

Are the blorbos criminals or goobers? They do crimes in the eyes of the Syndicate, but otherwise they're just silly goobers. :)

Will Timmy like Jimmy again? Honey I'm a sucker for characters who lost memory of one another yet learned to love each other again the same way they used to, of course JimmyTimmy's real 😤

Does Timmy still like Trixie? I'm pretty sure he would still admire her whether CosWan's around or not, so yeah he does :,D

Does Crocker remember Timmy's fairies? GOOD QUESTION!! Crocker would still theorize that Timmy had Fairy Godparents, but he isn't as passionate about it as he used to since his memories of the fairies in particular had gotten fuzzier after the memory wipe. Though he still hates him for it 😅

What does Timmy think of Tootie? Let's assume Tootie matured by then and doesn't chase Timmy as much as she used to, giving him more space to see her in a new light, that she's more than just "a girl with cooties" and an actual person who has other interests, hobbies, and friends. Despite this, he still can't help but feel iffy around her and try to avoid any interaction as much as he can.

Does Timmy remember the songs? HMMMM let's say he remembers singing them, but he doesn't remember the lines that CosWan would sing their hearts out. Hence he doesn't memorize the whole music. 🥲

How much coffee do the blorbos take? Do not get me started on Danny. Jimmy's main caffeine intake is Purple Flurp, but would ocassionally drink coffee if he needed less of a boost. Timmy refuses to drink coffee with no sweetness in it, it always has to be latte or he'll spit his drink out. If you don't want him to set something on fire, do not let SpongeBob go near the coffee machine.

Was the last question a surprise? Yes it is, thank you for asking! :)

#HI I RECEIVED YOUR OTHER ASK BUT PLS EXPECT ANOTHER LATE REPLY #i tend to forget i have a tumblr plus im overwhelemed of work to sit down and answer everything at once 😭 #pls bear with me 🥲 #asks #i forgor lor #fop #nicktoons unite