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byuntrash101 · 3 years

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PARAPHILIA - Part 1

Pairing: Dom!Baekhyun x You

Genre: EstablishedRelationship!AU, slice of life, smuttt

Tags: strong dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink, rough sex, degradation, name calling (slut is used a lot), deepthroat, body writing, toys and more~~

Raiting: +18 (more like 21+ 🤪)

Word count: 3.5k

Summary: Apparantly, the new intern has a crush on you. And it's making your boyfriend Baekhyun jealous... Very jealous...

A/N: First chapter💃!! I’m excited to show you this project! Never hesitate to give me feedback my asks are always open and seeing your reactions make me SO happy💖! I hope you’ll enjoy!! -Cat😽

Tag list: @lovebuginlove @ohh-baekhyun @bobohumyonlyboo @smolbeanmika @making-me-blush @wooya1224 @yixing-jaehyun @f4ncyvelvet @lalalala-lav @deligxt @xofanfics @byunsugar @dixnysustae @to-all-the-stories-i-love @artisticcgroove @myexoobsession @geniusloey

Tell me if you want to be added/removed

PARAPHILIA masterlist | General masterlist

Paraphilia #1 : SADISM, Inflicting pain to others.

W R O N G F E E L S R I G H T

"Aaaah" you say as you feel the hot tea on your tongue. It's jasmine green tea, your favorite. You sit there in the dining room enjoying the warm sun of the afternoon. It's so relaxing, so nice after a stressful week of work. The new intern is very nice, but god is he a handful. He's just always full of energy but at least he is willing and wants to learn properly. But forming him is quite tiring. So enjoying this quiet time here is nice.

"Babe can you come over here?" you hear the voice of your boyfriend resonate from upstairs. You sigh and frown, annoyed. But you still decide to go see him.

He's in his office, probably playing the piano or practicing his singing skills. He was in there since early morning. You never questioned his wacky sleep schedule. Like he always says: "inspiration doesn't wait". You knew that from the beginning... He's an artist.

You push open the door and he's there on his computer frowning. What's wrong? You ask yourself as you pick up right away that something is off. You walk closer and see he's on your Facebook profile.

"Who's that?" he asks without a glance to you, pointing a finger to the picture of a recently added friend.

"It's Taeyong the new intern, I told you about him" you say in a chuckle. So that's what's wrong with him. He's jealous, you think smiling.

"How do you find him?" he still doesn't look at you.

"Huh? I mean he is pretty smart which makes things easier, but overall, he has a lot to learn it's only normal when you are fresh out of school. I mean when I started, I-" but Baekhyun interrupts you.

"I don't mean it like this! Do you think he’s... attractive?" you can't help but laugh at the ridiculous question. Finally, Baekhyun looks at you but it's only to shoot you a death glare. You stop and bite your lips trying not to laugh again.

"I mean... Of course I can't say he's ugly but I-" Before you can continue your boyfriend rips the black bob off his head and throws it on the desk. He immediately brushes back his blond hair, running his fingers through it. You flinch. Shit, he's actually upset about this.

"What about this?" he switches to another tab on the computer. This time it's your Instagram page. He clicks on the most recent post. It's a selfie you posted last week when you went out with Baekhyun, you liked your makeup that day and thought it was instagramable.

"What about it?" You genuinely ask. Your boyfriend sighs, frustrated.

"TYdragon95, is it his username?" Baekhyun asks, his tone has changed from cold to angered, you swiftly look at him, he's clenching his jaw.

"Yes I suppose so, he was born in 1995, so yeah probably..."

"Yeah of course it's him... he liked every single one of your pictures..."

Baekhyun proceeds to scroll to the other photos and it's true. His username is under every single one of them.

"Well, no, he didn't like the pictures where we are together..." he says in a cynical tone. You stand there next to him, silent, what could you possibly reply? Baekhyun chuckles coldly.

"He's probably, right now imagining you under him, his hand in his pants..." he whistles between greeted teeth. You laugh nervously.

"Hyunie, don't be stupid... he's just a guy I work with" you say fidgeting with your fingers. You know this mood. You know how angry your boyfriend can get.

"Really? Huh?" Baekhyun says, finally getting up from his chair. He stands right in front of you, only a couple centimeters (1in) separate the both of you. You are intimidated. He's so much taller than you...

"Baekhyun, please" you say in a pleading tone while taking a step back. Baekhyun steps closer.

"Baby girl do you like him?" he says in a low husky voice, sending shivers down your spine. Once again, you step back and he steps closer. You step back again, and he follows you, making you backup against the cold wall of his office, almost falling on the drums on your left.

"Baekhyun don't be ridiculous... I-"

"FUCKING ANSWER ME!!!" he yells throwing his palm on the wall next to your face. Your breath is hitching your throat.

"No Babe! Of course, not. I only love you" you say your voice trembling.

"Is this true?" his tone is somewhat softer. He leans in, inching his face close to yours.

"Yes..." you say softly, almost whispering.

"Maybe I have to remind you who you belong to"

You feel goosebumps in the nape of your neck. You know exactly what he means...

"Go in the room and wait for me there" with that he removes his hand and you quickly leave the room without daring looking at him. Without any detours you go straight to your room and sit on the king-sized bed.

You feel a familiar tingly feeling rise in your lower stomach. You don't even have time to think that your hand travels on its own to your crotch. As soon as your fingers press on your core the door slams open.

Baekhyun chuckles coldly, looking you up and down.

"You little slut you couldn't even wait for me, could you?" he walks quickly to you and yanks hard on your arm to make you stand. You wince in pain.

"What do you say?"

"I'm sorry daddy." You whimper. Suddenly he flips you over and makes you lay over his lap with your butt up. Without much consideration he roughly pulls up your t-shirt dress. His hand rests delicately over your clothed bottom as you are still wearing your baby blue laced panties. Gently, he strokes your butt cheeks with his thumb.

"Baby girl, you need a little reminder that you belong to daddy and daddy only. So, I have to punish you, you understand that, right?" he says as he slowly pulls down your lace panties. You simply nod quietly.

"So, baby girl I'm going to spank you 15 times and you will say thank you to each one of them. Understood?"

"Yes daddy" you say, already bracing for impact.

You feel his cold hand lift up from your skin. Then you hear the loud noise. Full force spanking your tiny ass. Lastly, you feel the pain, make you scream at the very first strike. It just started but already you feel the tingly feeling in your lower stomach grow.

"I didn't hear you baby"

"Thank you, daddy." You whimper.

"Good girl" Right away he spanks you again. You scream again, already your butt is burning. You can't help but to moan in between each scream. You feel each nerve of your sensitive skin.

"Thank you, daddy"

Baekhyun spanks again until he reaches 15. Your ass is raw, the pain feels so good, you bite your bottom lip trying to refrain from begging him to fuck you right now. Because you know daddy doesn't like being told what to do, especially when he's angry.

He puts you back up and makes you sit up on the bed. He stands in front of you as he unbuckles his belt.

"Now you're gonna suck daddy off, to make up to him" right there he rips out his fat cock in front of your very eyes. You can't help but gasp and the beautiful sight. He was so hard, precum pearling at the tip. It made your mouth water in anticipation.

You look at him with hungry eyes and just nod while opening wide. Baekhyun smirks.

"Good girl" he says, pinching your nose and slowly pushing himself inside your tiny mouth. He doesn't stop at the first resistance, instead he pushes harder, making his way past the back of your throat. You feel the burn with each inch as he grunts loudly. You can't breathe anymore, not through your nose and certainly not through your mouth.

Without a warning Baekhyun starts to rapidly pump himself in and out of your mouth making your eyes water. You feel tears roll down your cheeks as you try to gasp for air. Baekhyun doesn't stop and skull fucks you even deeper, tearing your throat apart. You try to push him away, but he doesn't budge. He just moans louder using your face as his personal fuck toy.

Finally, he pulls out allowing you to breathe. You loudly gasp for air. Coughing, you look up at your boyfriend. He still looks pissed.

"Fuck babe, that little slut mouth of yours is fitted for my cock, isn't it?" he says trying to catch his breath pushing his blond hair back. You cough still trying to pull yourself together.

Without warning, Baekhyun leans in and his hands reach for the collar of your dress with one powerful and swift move he rips it off your body leaving you in your baby blue lace bra only.

"Take that off for me" he says pointing at the bra as he passes his oversized hoodie over his head. You look in awe at the muscles of his back and abs moving to mesmerize you. He looks so good, he's lightly sweating from pleasuring himself with your mouth. He's stark naked in front of you, you gulp loudly, anticipating but also fearing what's to come.

"Lay there" he commands pointing a finger to the bed, you do as you're told and lay with your arms resting to your sides. Baekhyun then gets up and walks to the dresser. He opens the fourth drawer. You know what he stores in this drawer, you squirm in apprehension.

When he turns back to you, he's holding a red marker and two, no, three nipple clamps.

"Baby girl, you know you've been bad, right?" You look at him with scared eyes but nod. He sits next to you.

"This one is for allowing another man to think about you" he says as he clips the clamp on one of your nipples. You bite your lip at the delicious pinching sensation.

"This one is for daring to even say his name in front of me" he places the second clamp on your other nipple. You gasp. It feels so good, your watery eyes fill up with tears again.

"And this one is for reminding you who owns you" he places the last one on your untouched but very anticipating clit. This time you can't help but to scream and grip the sheets as the pain spreads through your core. Baekhyun looks down at you with a satisfied smirk.

"Hmmm baby, you look so pathetic squirming like that." He leans over you. "Does it hurt, baby?" he purrs as a cold smile spreads on his lips. You looked up at him, pouting and eyebrows knitted together and nod.

"Baby girl, it's only fair for you to be treated this way because you were very bad you understand, right?"

You nod, the tears finally streaming down your face. Baekhyun smiles in satisfaction again, he loves to see you in this state, wrapped around his fingers. He controls you, he owns you.

Then, he takes the red sharpie out. He takes off the cap and writes on your body, first right under your collarbones, then on your lower stomach and finally on your face.

"Go ahead and get up to go see how beautiful you look."

You get up and wince in pain again as the gravity pulls on the clamps. You walk up to the full length mirror. Baekhyun wrote "cocksleeve" across your chest, "my cunt" right over your pussy and finally "daddy's slut" on each of your cheeks.

"Aren't you pretty?" You turn back to him.

"Yes, thank you daddy" you meekly answer.

You want to walk back to him, but he puts his hand up and stops you.

"Not so fast, baby girl. The punishment isn't over yet. You are not allowed to walk back to me... Get on all fours and crawl to me like the bitch that you are"

You feel the humiliation rush to your cheeks and spread to your body. But you obey anyway, you do as you're told. Your knees against the cold hard wood you approach your sadistic boyfriend.

"Good girl, now. Crouch and tell daddy how sorry you are" You feel the tears well up again.

"Daddy..." you start with your voice trembling, avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry. I will never upset you again."

Silence follows, you lift your head to look up at him and without a warning he slaps you across the face, almost making you fall. You rub your cheek.

"Gotta have to do better than that" he replies with the harshest tone. Now you are just sobbing.

"This little slut is sorry daddy. She doesn't deserve a daddy as perfect as you. I am nothing more than your personal fuck toy and a mere toy should only serve her daddy and no other men should be allowed to lay eyes on it. Daddy I'm sorry for being a dirty whore I will make it up to you I promise."

Baekhyun chuckles, visibly satisfied to see you dragging yourself down like this. You can't help but to let your eyes trail down his perfect body to his cock... He is harder than ever.

"That's right baby you are my pathetic little slut" he says gently stroking your still burning cheek.

"You know what baby? Daddy wants you to hurt as much as you hurt him by allowing this man in your life." He harshly grabs your face.

"So, you're going to stand up and you're going to show daddy how your pretty little face twists in pain" he says with a large, wicked smile.

You stand up.

"Jump, lemme see the clamps bounce."

You do as you're told and bounce yourself up and down. The weight of the clamp on your clit is unbearable and you just frown deeply in pain.

"Good girl now pull on the clamps on your nipples"

You pull on them harshly, the joyous pain makes you roll your eyes back and you can't help but to let a soft moan escape your lips. Baekhyun reaches down and starts to pump his hand around his big cock. He looks satisfied, nothing arouses him more than seeing you cry like this.

"Twist them"

You moan louder, it's difficult to contain your excitement as you feel your arousal coating your inner thighs.

"Good girl" he says with an evil smirk.

After a while, your body is red all over, complementing even better the matching sharpie.

"Now lay there you slut" Baekhyun says as he gets up the bed. You lay on your back and wait for further instructions.

Baekhyun gets on the bed over you and places himself at your entrance. Rubbing his tip against your slick folds.

"What a pitiful slut that you are getting this wet from being humiliated" he says smirking. And with that he violently pushes himself inside you in one go. You scream in absolute bliss, almost cumming to this one single thrust.

"Fuck, baby" Baekhyun moans.

He starts to move rapidly, you feel the familiar knot in your stomach form. He goes full force right away, making your fringe jump with each powerful thrust.

"Baby what are you?" he pants.

"I'm your slut daddy"

"Good girl" he says, grinding his teeth, rewarding you with more powerful thrusts and more overwhelming pleasure.

"You like daddy's thick cock don't you, slut?"

"Yes, I love your big cock daddy, it feels so good in my tiny cunt" You whine, feeling the knot getting tighter. The three nipple clamps jumping all over the place as Baekhyun fucks you deep and hard.

"No one can make you feel good like daddy, do you understand?" he says struggling, moaning in between each word.

"Yes only daddy's big cock" you bite your lip trying not to cum as Baekhyun hasn't granted you permission yet.

"Good girl. You are daddy's little slut. Daddy's toy. Daddy's personal cocksleeve. Nothing more. Your only purpose is to pleasure daddy and make him cum with your tight cunt." Baekhyun grunts, pushing himself deep and fast inside you.

The dirty talk is too much for you, you feel so good and the humiliation of being reduced to a mere object sends you over the edge. You scream and moan as your legs shake into an uncontrollable and divine orgasm, your sensitive little pussy deseperately twitching around Baekhyun's thick cock.

Your high hasn't even worn out yet that you feel Baekhyun's not-so-delicate hand slap your face. The burn in your cheek makes your eyes roll back as the setlling pleasure of your orgasm makes your mind go blank.

"I'm sorry daddy" you say half moaning, half sobbing, gagging on his slender digits.

"You slut, you came without daddy" he shoves his long fingers deep inside your throat. You instinctively suck on them as tears run down your cheeks again.

"You're such a bad girl" Baekhyun says, whipping his fingers out of your mouth to immediately pull harshly on your hair. You scream in both overwhelming pain and unbearable pleasure.

"Daddy I'm sorry" you say again, moaning as Baekhyun keeps on pounding into you, still pumping his fat cock in and out of you at an alarming speed. Stretching your tiny pussy beyond repair.

"Shut the fuck up slut" Baekhyun says as he repeatedly slaps you in the face, smudging the sharpie over with your tears. He picks up the pace again. Going even faster, destroying your pussy in the process. You moan in pleasure, feeling the knot tightening again.

"Daddy please slow down I'm going to cum again" you sob.

"I said shut up" he says clapping his hand over your mouth muffling your moans. Baekhyun has a really hard time containing himself. He feels like he's going to burst any second. As soon as he removes his hand you speak again.

"Daddy please I'm-" but you can't finish.

"Shut the fuck up I said you fucking bitch" he grunts.

Baekhyun circles his hands around your narrow neck. Pressing his fingers on your throat and your artery to keep the blood from reaching your brain. Finally, you are silenced, you can't speak anymore, not even moan. You can only concentrate on the immense pleasure Baekhyun makes you feel. He grunts loudly pumping in and out of your exhausted tiny cunt. You feel like the knot will come undone at any second now.

"That's it baby! You like when daddy chokes you, right baby? " Baekhyun says clenching his jaw.

Slowly your vision clouds up and you start to feel lightheaded. Like you are high on the most enjoyable and addicting drug: rough sex with your boyfriend Byun Baekhyun.

"I'm going to mark this cunt now baby. I'm going to make it all mine. I'm going to cum inside of you".

Seconds later, you feel thick ropes of cum painting your walls and filling you up as Baekhyun releases himself inside you with powerful thrusts. His hair is stuck to his forehead, he breathes heavily as he wears a relieved expression, his eyebrows deeply furrowed and his jaw lossely hanging open.

As you are about to pass out from too little oxygen, the delicious feeling of being pumped full of hot cum sends you over the edge and you reach the most blissful orgasm ever.

"Yeah that's it baby girl, cum for me, cum for daddy" Baekhyun says with a carnivorous smile.

Your legs shake all over as you see stars from being chocked. This sensation is a whole new level. Never in your life you felt something this intense. It's heaven. You ascended to heaven.

As Baekhyun slows down he releases his brusing grip around your neck, and you can finally gasp for air. As you catch your breath your vision comes back to normal and the high fades away.

Baekhyun collapses next to you, visibly exhausted and satisfied. You scoot closer to him and rest your head on his glistening chest. He starts stroking your hair.

"Baby?" he asks, hesitant.

"Yeah?"

"You... love me more, right? More than him..." he says timidly. You can't help but smile Athos sheepish expression. You look up at him amorously surprised by the the complete change in his attitude. There's no more anger in his eyes as he cutely pouts.

"No babe, I only love you. You are my one and only" you say softly kissing him. He looks back at you smiling before closing his eyes.

PARAPHILIA masterlist | General masterlist

#baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun smut #byun baekhyun #exo smut #baekhyun ff #baekhyun one shot #exo baekhyun #exo fanfic #kpop smut #smut #baekhyun x you #baekhyun x reader #kpop x reader #exo ff #exo imagine #exosnet

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thadelightfulone · 3 years

Text

All I Want... 25 Days of Christmas Challenge, Day 12

December 4th

DeeDee promised to make up for missing brunch with the girls. So, they made plans to go out to the hookah spot on a Friday night. She looked in her closet and glanced at herself in the mirror and sighed. Phyllis sent her directions to wear something cute, read: a dress, because she picked the one spot with a dress code.

She looked at the red dress that Phyllis pulled for the club the other night. “Nope.”

She hung it back up and pulled out a little black dress. It was something that the girls talked her into for a bachelorette party a year ago. The dress had a scooped neckline, cap sleeves and flared out at the waist, so it stopped right above her knees.

DeeDee twirled around with the dress in front of her in the mirror. “This will have to do.” She added some black tights and her favorite burgundy Mary Jane platforms and laid the dress on her bed.

She was in the bathroom when the music that was playing stopped and her phone buzzed. She looked down at the call, smiled and hit ‘Ignore,’ then returned to finishing her makeup. The phone buzzed again with a text message alert.

Prince Erik: You don’t want to talk to me? 😕

DeeDee 💜: I told you I’m going out tonight.

Prince Erik: Ok, and? We can talk before you go out.

DeeDee 💜: You aren’t slick, E. That was not a regular call.

Prince Erik: I mean, I wanted to see what you decided to wear. 🤷🏾‍♂️

DeeDee 💜: Erik…

Prince Erik: Yes, Miss DeeDee

DeeDee 💜: No.

Prince Erik: Well, you can’t blame me for trying.

DeeDee 💜: You get an E for Effort.

DeeDee 💜: Don’t you dare reply to that. 🤐

Prince Erik: I’m tryna get you to take this…

DeeDee 💜: Damnit, E. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Prince Erik: My bad, but I do love how you don’t call me Mr. Erik anymore. 😁

DeeDee 💜: I could go back at anytime, Sir.

Prince Erik: Oh, here you go. Well, let me know when you get home. You know I’ll be up.

DeeDee 💜: Uh huh, good night Erik.

Prince Erik: Sending me to bed? Fine, I’ll take a nap before you call.

Prince Erik: Goodbye Miss DeeDee...for now.

DeeDee put her phone down and used the big smile on her face to add some blush to her cheeks. She was definitely smiling a lot more these days and Erik had a lot to do with it. Things shifted between them after that awkward encounter with Brandon. She was used to the ‘Good morning’ and ‘Good night’ texts from him. But since then, he’s been sending cute voice or video messages where he wished her a good day. She couldn’t say that she didn’t look forward to those, just as much as his phone calls.

And then she thought he looked good in just a hoodie and sweats, but Erik in a suit was just plain sin. DeeDee often sent up prayers of thanks for his fitness regime and his tailor, because damn. She may or may not have saved a few for, uh, research purposes.

Fully made up, she moved back into her room and put on her dress and shoes. She picked up her phone and snapped a few selfies in the mirror. DeeDee had just posted a few when her phone buzzed in her hand; it was the group chat. Phyllis and Beverly were outside in the Lyft.

---

“You are still coming to my defense presentation, right?” DeeDee asked as their drinks and hookah arrived.

“Of course, we wouldn’t miss it.” Beverly responded while she added lit coals to their strawberry and pineapple hookah.

“What is the date again?” Phyllis looked at DeeDee.

“Two weeks from today, the 18th.”

“Yeah, yeah. I requested that off. So, we’re good.”

“Great, then we can do dinner or something. What do you think?”

“You know it!”

“Duh!” Phyll and Bev exclaimed together.

They picked up their drinks and clinked them together.

“We gotta celebrate, our friend, the good doctor.” Phyllis added.

“Thanks Phylly Phyll.”

“Hey, no hard feelings right?” She nudged DeeDee’s shoulder. “I just want you to be careful.”

“Phyll, I wouldn’t have made the call, if I didn’t think it was a good idea.”

“I know, we should trust you more.”

“We??? Speak for yourself. I’m happy if DeeDee made a new friend. Whatever it turns into. I’m here for it.” Beverly interjected before taking the first hit.

“Thanks Bev. But really, he is a good friend. So, I am just enjoying what we have right now.”

“As you should, Dee. Besides, it’s not like you’ll meet -”

Beverly bumped Phyllis’ shoulder and hissed. “Shut up.”

“But think about it, DeeDee’s never leaving Louisiana and I doubt he would come back here to visit.”

“Phyll!”

“Can we stop the whole DeeDee will be single forever talk, please?”

“But that’s not true. What about Breanna’s little brother?”

“Brandon! Absolutely not.” DeeDee rolled her eyes at them, “Besides, I think he’ll finally leave me alone now.” She looked at her phone and smiled.

“What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just know, that was not and never would be an option for me.”

Their wings arrived and DeeDee dug in.

“DeeDee, you good?”

“Yeah, you know I love these wings.” She said around a mouthful.

“Uh huh.”

“Phyll, leave her alone.” Beverly pushed a plate towards her. “She’s happy living her life as she is. We should be happy for her.”

“I am happy for her.”

“Are you really?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Phyllis added wings to her plate and sat back.

---

Erik woke up to his tablet ringing. “Hello.” He sat up in bed and lifted it up as he rubbed at his face.

“Ewww, Daddy. Uncle E is naked.” A little voice called out.

Erik looked at the screen and saw Jasmine and Marquis both with disgusted looks on their faces.

“My bad, Jazzie bear. Hold on.” He grabbed the hoodie next to him and threw it on. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” Jasmine replied.

Erik laughed at her politeness. It reminded him of another woman who had him wrapped around her finger. And she probably doesn’t even know it. He looked at the time, she wouldn’t be home from her night out with her friends yet. But at least, he will be awake when she hits him up.

“What about me?” Quis spoke up.

“What about you?” Erik shook his head and focused his attention to his goddaughter, “Hi Jazzie bear. And to what do I owe this honor?”

“Daddy, said that you were coming to visit in a few weeks. Is that true?”

“Yes, it is. A good friend of ours is having a party and I promised your dad I would be there.”

“Are you coming to see us, too?”

“Of course, princess. I can’t call that a visit without seeing one of my favorite girls.”

“But I thought I was your only favorite?” Jasmine pouted on the screen.

“Did I? My mistake.” Erik bowed his head towards her.

“Uh huh. Well, I can’t wait to see you Uncle E.”

“I can’t wait to see you either sweetheart.”

“Daddy let me down.” Jasmine squirmed out of Marquis’ lap, “You two can talk now. Night Uncle E.”

“Good night Jazzie bear.”

Marquis followed Jasmine out of the room and closed the door behind her.

“One of your favorite girls? I didn’t know you were dating again.”

“Total recall ass nigga.” Erik whispered.

“Not my fault, you slipped up in front of your only favorite girl.” Marquis used air quotes for only. “You knew she would pick up on that. But now, I’m asking.”

“I’m not dating anyone yet.”

“Yet? So, she has potential? Glad to hear that.”

“She has the potential to be so much more than just my girl, Quis.” Erik sighed, “She could be the one I called for.”

“Called for? E, are you talking about that note you wrote in O Chem?” Marquis laughed.

“Yes, that note. I meant every single word of it, too.” Erik flipped him off. “Just because you found Serena while you were in school, doesn’t mean anything.”

“Hey, hey. Who am I to knock anything? If you think you found her, I’m happy for you. You deserve to have that kind of love in your life.”

“Thank you, man.”

“So, when do we get to meet her?”

“Here’s the thing, I have to meet her first.” Erik watched Marquis’ expression. “I know, I know, but we met online, so you know.”

“Uh huh, please tell me you know what she looks like.”

“I do. Trust, I was able to verify that.” Erik’s cell started to ring. He saw it was DeeDee and smiled. “Hey Quis, look that’s her now. So, I’mma go. But I will let you know when I get to Baton Rouge.”

“Alright, man. Good night. And tell the mystery lady that your best friend said hi.”

“Will do.” Erik ended the call on his tablet and picked up his phone. “Hello Miss DeeDee.”

“Heeeeeeey Erik,” DeeDee slurred into the phone.

Erik could already tell what kind of call this would be. He gave it 15 minutes before she was softly snoring in his ear again. No problem, he was wide awake now.

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#25 days of christmas challenge #erik killmonger x oc #black panther fanfiction #bp christmas #all i want #thadelightfulone

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believe-that-you-can-my-friend · 4 years

Photo

Elisabeth & Noah in the origin world (2/?)

First date

He is not sure if he should text her or not.

On Monday, upon waking up with every ounce of alcohol finally off his bloodstream and after he has spent the entire Sunday recovering from the worst hangover he’s experienced since his college years, Noah is back on his reserved nature, the timid one, the one lacking the amount of whiskey-infused courage it takes for him to deal with matters revolving around human interaction, especially with women. He’s not a social outcast per se, but his confidence mostly accompanies him in the career-oriented side of his life.

It’s not like he’s not interested. He crossed the line of “interested” when he stooped to the lowest level possible, looking her up on Instagram, of all things, via Agnes’ account.

(His little sister has a long list of questions and he has a long list of brotherly favors that he promised to fulfill in exchange for her seven-digit password.)

She doesn’t have a vast presence on social media, a quality they apparently share. He keeps a long forgotten Facebook account and a professional LinkedIn one and acts blissfully ignorant towards any other platform that isn’t YouTube. Her Facebook account - oh yeah, he checked that one too - is a mix between personal and business, opinion posts about socio-politcal matters on the grounds of their country to the entirety of Europe to the endlessness of the globe and take-action events in regard to the causes she supports, occasionally interrupted by a reunion selfie with an old friend or a brunch date with her mom and her sister. That particular post redirected to some Instagram link, so, unwittingly, his curiosity was peaked.

Her Instagram account is colourful, vivid, filled with adventures and laughter. Just from an idle scroll, Elisabeth Doppler - Winden born, age twenty-four, Energy Engineer, Berlin based - can easily be perceived as someone that quite enjoys life. Her group of associates and friends seems endless and her gallery consists of photos of dinners with young professionals, pub-crawling with girlfriends, road tripping across Europe, Erasmus Programme memories, tree-planting projects, women’s rights marches, snorkelling, paragliding. Noah spends the whole Sunday afternoon feeling overwhelmed and in awe, tapping picture after picture, mesmerized by her lovely smile that adds a softer undertone to her busy bee of a life.

He finds it fascinating, her mindset and her lifestyle, but, at the same time, he fears that their personalities may clash, his more keeping-to-himself attitude the polar opposite to her seemingly outgoing one. Then, it’s also the age barrier. He thinks that thirty-two might be a little off-putting for someone in their early twenties, a decade that comes with a whole other set of expectations and milestones than the one he is currently in. The major problem, though - a chronic problem of his - is that he’s thinking too much.

Fortunately, that’s not a thing they have in common.

Elisabeth texts him on Monday morning, at 9.54 to be exact. He’s in the middle of a lecture, teaching History of Religion 101 to an auditorium filled with sleepy freshmen, when his phone screen lights up, its glow illuminating in the dimly lit room. It’s a simple “good morning” paired up with a smiling face emoji but it’s enough to cause his heart to race and his mind to short-circuit, leaving him reciting things off the projection screen without really registering what comes out of his mouth until the lesson is over. With sweaty hands and in the mist of internal panic laced with excitement, he texts her back at 10.38 an equally casual “hey, hope you’re having a good morning, too”. He beats himself up for not asking her anything the minute he presses send, like, how she’s doing, if she’s at work - literally anything, Noah, Jesus Christ, now she’ll think that you don’t care, nice work, you idiot - especially as the hours pass and there’s silence from her end. He spends the rest of the day drowning in miserable self-pity, checking his dead phone literally every minute, until there’s a new message from her, telling him that she had a very busy day at work and asking him how his day was.

(Thank God, because he was about to send her an embarrassing word vomit apologizing for having zero social skills whatsoever.)

They continue their back and forth texting for the rest of the week, casual conversations about their everyday lives turning into debates about the best places to eat and the best movies of all time to metaphysics and social justice that keep them up till the small hours of morning, Elisabeth sending him blowing-a-kiss face emoji’s for goodnight and Noah smiling like a silly teenager at his phone screen. Right in the middle of one of their more “serious” conversations, Elisabeth venting about income-based discrimination, Noah asks her out. It’s abrupt and totally irrelevant to the context of the rest of the bubbles that litter their personal chat at that moment but he can’t really help himself. She is a woman he wants - needs - to know more about, not through a screen, but in person, sit there and watch her express all the things she has in her brilliant mind.

They arrange to meet on Friday night, after she finishes work, since Noah has to attend a seminar in Dresden on the weekend and since both of them are too impatient to wait any longer. Noah arrives first at the bar she gave him directions to and decides on waiting for her outside but decides against smoking a cigarette, even though he’s itching to, out of habit and nerves. She rounds the corner barely five minutes later, strutting towards him in an electric blue pantsuit and a plaid maxi grey coat, her whole face brightening with a stunning smile when she notices him, and, just like that, everything else fades, his anxiety about their first official date, his mental fatigue after holding office hours, his insecurities, his worries and she is the only thing that exists, the only thing that matters.

A wave of panic washes over him momentarily, his inner perfectionist making a huge deal out of not having a clear plan of how to greet her. A handshake is too impersonal, a kiss too presumptuous. Ultimately, he attempts an awkward, one-arm kinda hug - which is ridiculous because a) he’s a freaking grown-up and b) her tongue has already been inside his mouth and he doesn’t recall his hands being particularly respectful the night of Jonas’ wedding, when she pushed him against a wall and stole his breath with a glorious kiss - an action she probably misconstrues as a leaning in and this results in them doing a clumsy dance right there on the pavement, but she giggles and her eyes shine with amusement, so his self-deprecating frown gives its place to a handsome smirk, when she moves closer to him and leaves a soft peck on his cheek, as a belated greeting. She smells of sensuous jasmine and intoxicating amber, her perfume aery but with a spicy twist that succeeds in stimulating all of his senses. He holds the door for her to enter and his hand lingers lightly on the small of her waist, as they make their way through the tables to the bar.

They settle on two empty barstools and order their signature drinks, Gin and Tonic and Whiskey on the Rocks. Elisabeth takes her phone out of her tote bag but before she gets to type anything, Noah holds her attention. He thinks for a moment and then makes his hands move, forming tentative gestures that lack any grace or flow but succeed in signing “It’s nice to see you. How have you been?”.

Elisabeth beams, impressed, her lips mouthing an excited “how?”. He just shrugs and shyly pulls out of his messenger bag a thick sign language book, a recent purchase of his which he’s been studying with every chance he got. Her whole face softens, touched by his sweet gesture, before she types on her phone.

That’s very thoughtful of you, thank you. Even though you shouldn’t have; apart from technology’s assistance, I’m pretty good at reading lips.

He uses his phone to reply. Yeah, I gathered that much. I just want to talk to you in your language.

The look that she gives him under her fluttering eyelashes is so tender and lovely that he can’t help but stare, a foolish grin plastered on his lips and a hot blush painted on his neck, creeping from the collar of his grey shirt.

They talk - type, to be exact, with the occasional mimic of a word or two - about everything and nothing, fast thumbs trying to keep up with their effortless conversation on the notifications’ section of their phones. He learns about her childhood in Winden, her hellish pranks to her older sister Franziska, her loving parents that separated when she was a preteen but never stopped caring about each other or being there for their daughters. She talks about her hometown friends and her honor roll high school experience, moving to Berlin to attend university and falling in love with the lively vibe of the city, getting her Master’s in Energy Engineering and recently landing her first job on the field at the Tiedemann Enterprises, a very prestige corporation in the industry of renewable energy. She’s still particularly excited about this, being part of a team of researchers thriving to improve energy efficiency based on an environmental friendly strategy.

Noah tells her about his memories as a young boy in Vechta, how he lost his mother when he was only six, due to complications while giving birth to his sister, how his father was never really in the picture after that tragic incident. How the local church and especially Sic Mundus, a church based organization for neglected children and troubled teens, contributed to his and Agnes’ well-being and education, helping him land a university scholarship and get a job, so he could afford moving his sister to Berlin, too, after he got his bachelor degree, and offering her a more stable living situation and a normal life. How, apparently, his aptitude for the humanities and his upbringing in a religious environment drove him to follow an academic career in religious studies, a field that he finds beyond interesting, especially its anthropology aspect.

Somewhere along the conversation, too absorbed into their own little world to register the fewer people in the bar and the clock ticking towards closing time, his hand, as if it has a mind of its own, slides slowly over the wooden top of the bar, her slender fingers meeting his hesitant approach halfway. They’re barely touching but it’s electrifying, the feeling of even an inch of his skin against her skin so exhilarating and powerful, like the impact of meteors colliding or the universe exploding into pieces. It feels like a Déjà vu, like a glitch in the Matrix, like they know each other from the past or recognize each other from their future. It’s a feeling both of them kept seeking, a feeling that they silently vow never to lose.

Noah pays for the drinks, despite her objections, and Elisabeth insists that, next time, the bill is on her. He smirks, a tad tipsy on the whiskey, a lot tipsy on her, and teases her that he must have done something right, because this is the first time a girl agrees on a second date with him this fast. She just shrugs, a cheeky smirk playing on her lip-glossed lips, as she types, if I left it up to you, we’d still be on the PG-13 “good morning” texts. He laughs, an effortless, loud laugh and he catches her staring - no, not staring, checking him out - the corner of her longing smile trapped between her teeth. He fights the insane urge to kiss her senseless right here in this empty bar with the bartender mentally plotting their death for keeping him past his shift.

He accompanies her to the U-Bahn station and his heart skips a heartbeat at the prospect of sharing ten more minutes with her, according to the information display over their heads. She wishes him to have fun in Dresden and he confesses that he wishes he could stay here, to spend the weekend with you, he wants to add but refrains, in fear of confessing too much too fast. Instead, he tells her that he had an amazing night and he’s so relieved and purely happy when she nods vigorously in agreement, her low ponytail bobbing lightly and her beautiful face radiating even under the harsh fluorescent light of the station. The atmosphere around them is suddenly very charged, their bodies gravitating towards each other, and their eyes engage in a stare off that speaks volumes and holds so much unresolved tension. He can hear the bright yellow train approaching and his breath quickens as he takes a brave step forward, invades her personal space, and his eyes declare defeat, falling to her lips. He’s the one to kiss her this time, a soft peck that turns into a needy battle of dominance when she melts into his arms and angles her face to kiss him more, deeper, hungry mouths dancing together in passion, his shoulders hunching over her smaller figure, his hands cradling her cheeks. Her own hands sneak under his coat and suit jacket, delivering a heavy caress over the material of his shirt before she closes her arms around his waist, Noah letting a trembling exhale into the kiss and his lips forming a lazy smirk against her giggling ones. Smugly, Elisabeth tugs lightly at his lower lip with her teeth, a naughty essence to the playful action, and this fuels another round of heated kissing, their bodies pushing and pulling, their heavy PDA a thing they’ll be embarrassed for in the morning. For tonight, though, they’re just two people getting drunk on each other in the middle of a train station, as if tomorrow will be the end of world and they’ll cease to exist.

When they pull back for air her lips are lipgloss-free and her eyelids, still closed, are fluttering over scarlet cheekbones. Noah has never witnessed a most beautiful sight in his life.

Elisabeth gets on the train with a dazed and dazzling smile, promising to text him when she arrives at her apartment. They refuse to let go of each other’s eyes until the train vanishes into the dark tunnel and Noah is left there, on the empty station, a finger reaching to his lips, not quite believing that the fruity taste of lipgloss that still lingers in his mouth or the woman whose lips left their trace behind are real and not a product of his wildest fantasies. There’s an extra hop in his steps as he walks up the stairs to catch the train to the opposite direction, boarding the vehicle at the last minute and sliding quickly on a seat, lovesick smile intact and a newfound feeling of contentment and thrill nested in his chest.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and types, unable to wait any longer.

I get back early on Sunday. Would you like to have dinner with me?

#dark netflix #noah x elisabeth #elisabeth x noah #elisabeth doppler #hanno tauber #noah #noah dark #noabeth #noahbeth #this turned out huge #but i have way too many feels to control myself #myedits #ogparadise

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dapple-grey-mare · 4 years

Text

atla social media headcanons

(brainstormed with my friend when we were messing around/being completely serious with our love for the characters)

in this modern au, iroh is the fire lord and lu ten is the heir. also, bending and the avatar is still a thing.

beware of shameless sukka and mai lee because those are the only ships i will accept no arguments about. (i’m also a zu/tara and t/aang shipper but you won’t find anything romantic about them in here)

read below the cut because it’s a lot

katara posts aesthetic photos and inspirational quotes on instagram and sokka never stops teasing her about it

(he won’t admit it, but there are days where he gets super stressed and reads one of her posts and immediately feels better)

sokka keeps posting about suki (they’re not dating yet) and everyone hates it (but also loves it)

he also posts videos of stupid stuff he does alone and with his friends, as well as livestreaming q&a

(katara: sokka you aren’t actually famous)

sokka unironically vlogs

toph posts random pictures (usually of her feet or of the ground) and pretends it’s because she’s blind and can’t take proper pictures and everyone knows she’s just messing with them

but everyone does add alt text to their photos so toph can hear what’s in the photos and captions

the actual reason why toph is bad with instagram is that she wasn’t even allowed to have a phone when she was younger, as her parents thought it would be unsafe for a little blind girl (they were wrong)

the gaang eventually realizes that toph isn’t entirely messing with them and help her through everything

she now knows that she can post videos and will not stop filming her earthbending or her sessions with a blindfolded and vulnerable aang that she beats up in two seconds

aang posts a bunch of pictures of appa (who is a dog? still a sky bison? we don’t know)

zuko and suki don’t have instagram (zuko says it’s because he’s royalty and he doesn’t want to get stalked and suki just likes to do the exact opposite of what sokka tells her to) but their friends continue to pester them about getting accounts

zuko ultimately caves, but as a “fuck you” to all of them, he posts a selfie with suki captioned “say hello to my best friend and the only valid person in my life besides my mother and uncle”

sokka is outraged and he, along with katara because she’s the nosiest, find zuko’s account password, gather all of his friends and family (the valid family members only), take a selfie with all of them, post it with the caption “the best people around” or “the people i love most in the world” or smth uncharacteristically cheesy like that, then wait for zuko to notice

it gets a million likes

he eventually does notice and he swears to delete it but doesn’t

mai also does not have an instagram and she does not cave despite their constant badgering

she does cave, however, when ty lee asks her. she only needs to ask once.

azula is just subtly posting pictures with the royal palace as the background because she likes to flex

every year, katara posts a family picture on mother's day and/or her mom's birthday

also on mother’s day, each member of the gaang (even zuko because he really would do anything for his best friends) posts a picture of katara and very seriously celebrates her as a mother

they do the same with zuko on father’s day

every time aang posts, without fail, everyone in the gaang comments “BABY 🥺🥺🥺” and they refuse to stop

they convince iroh to make an official account for the jasmine dragon to bring in more business, but both iroh and zuko have no idea what they’re doing with it

so the rest of the gaang posts posters and menu items but since they all have different styles, every post is wildly different and customers are really confused

katara is all about the aesthetic and posts pics of her order almost every time, sokka livestreams and sneaks random videos of zuko working, aang actually really tries to help with marketing but it’s all just pictures of the menu which hardly every changes, toph has a schedule for posting pictures of chair legs, suki is the only competent one and with katara’s help, makes cool posters and edited videos

the first time someone tags zuko in a picture on their account, all their followers freak out about the fire nation prince in their game night or cafe outing

since then, they make a point to get zuko in all of their photos

as well as the occasional lu ten or iroh

suki’s first post is a video sokka took of her practicing martial arts with her warriors and at first, she was a little hesitant to exploit the kyoshi culture but kyoshi herself appeared and gave her permission to show off their badassery

since then, she’s posted tutorials and practice/teaching sessions

she’s also a makeup master and she posts standard makeup tutorials too, but she refuses to post a tutorial on the kyoshi makeup look in case people start appropriating it (sokka understands and stops asking her)

katara doesn’t like to show off her bending on social media, especially since it’ll mess up the aesthetic of her account, but once zuko posts a video of him practicing because sokka dared him to (he really can’t resist a dare), katara gets annoyed and does the same

it becomes a competition of sorts, but they never mention it outside of their posts, so the rest of the gaang doesn’t know if they should intervene or encourage it

(toph obviously encourages it, aang is conflicted)

(sokka is secretly rooting for katara, but he likes to annoy her further by cheering zuko on)

it’s pretty neck and neck for a while, but katara is a faster learner and surpasses him

zuko gets really upset with this and decides to post of a video of him practicing with his dao swords, since katara can’t do any fighting outside of her bending

(katara: that’s cheating, you’re a cheater, i hate your guts)

(she doesn’t)

sokka keeps trying to make zuko post a video of the dancing dragon and aang really wants to, but zuko refuses

they all have a shared youtube account with videos of them sparring, playing games, or just chilling

azula is in one of these videos and roasts each of them, and it’s the most liked video on the account

(toph is laughing the entire time but the second azula gets to her, she throws a rock in her face and the video ends)

sokka posts gaming videos and vlogs on his youtube, zuko draws the line at youtube, aang has a camera on his staff and livestreams the view of the ground as he’s flying, katara makes cooking videos, suki is a makeup guru, and toph is their designated guest star when they’re running out of content because viewers love her

every time sokka is in a post with a girl that isn’t katara, he gets shipped with them, so he starts baiting viewers with intentionally vague wording and shots that could be romantic

eventually, sokka and suki start fake-dating to get the extremely pushy viewers off his back, but in pure rom-com style, they fall in love for real

ty lee makes shopping vlogs and makeup hauls and these are the only things mai will say no to her about

one time, suki had toph try and do her makeup... it did not go well

(suki: i swear to kyoshi, you did this on purpose)

a lot of sokka’s vlogs involve him, aang, and toph lounging on the sofa (all of them but zuko share an apartment, zuko is trying to convince his family to let him move out of the palace) watching tv and eating chips

katara and suki hate it but they allow it as long as they clean up the mess

they draw the line once they catch the three of them simultaneously fart

(suki: sokka, i’m dating your sister now)

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hopeshoodie · 4 years

Note

hey i asked if you had any talia hcs a while ago but tumblr was eating all my asks around that time so idk if you did get it just ignore this i don’t mean to be pushy

Oh work! U rite, I didn’t see that ask (because I love any opportunity to talk about my lovely wife and would immediately jump on that one).

She’s an amazing cook of specific recipes, but generally can’t cook unless she’s following a recipe or knows it by heart. If she’s trying to follow a new recipe it’ll take her 2 hours to finish because she has to stop and re-read it, and then figure out what’s happening. But the 1 or 2 dishes her mom taught her to cook? When you try them they taste like coming home.

She smells like slightly musky jasmine perfume 😍😍😍

She doesn’t buy a whole lot of clothes/makeup, and will use them until they run out. And that’s on what? Her nasty 8-year-old eyeshadow palette that she’s re-pressed after it cracked multiple times But also shopping with her is MISERABLE because she’ll try on 100 things, like 1 or 2, and then decide not to buy them because she doesn’t love it. She’s big on staple pieces and rewears the same 10 outfits day to day (but obviously has stuff to dress up in for date nights)

We should’ve gotten to do the heartrate challenge with her because she is a BLUSHY BITCH. She doesn’t know how to handle compliments other than throwing them back and gets flushed really easily.

She doesn’t like mint toothpaste and used to use kid’s bubblegum flavor until she found an adult strawberry flavor to buy. If she doesn’t have non-mint toothpaste, she won’t brush her teeth and will feel super gross about it.

She really ~wants~ to like classical music, but just doesn’t have the knowledge base/ability to get into it. She’ll always agree to go watch orchestras and tries to put it on while driving, but she’s never as interested in listening to it as she wants to be.

It’s probably just me projecting but I think she struggled with depression from 15-20 and still has to work at recovery. She has a lot more good days now that she’s out of school, but still struggles sometimes.

Her Instagram is trash. She hardly ever updates it, and when she does post ootd or a selfie they get a TON of likes and comments. People come to her page because she’s super hot, and they run into those ‘aesthetic photos with a quote in cursive overlaid’ and have to scroll just to find another picture of her. She never likes/comments on other peoples posts.

Loves the tattooed aesthetic but is afraid to get really heavily tattooed herself. Part of it is that she lowkey doesn’t like the style of the tattoos she got when she was younger, and part of it is that she still worries she won’t be as sexy with lots of work. But she’s definitely into inked girls.

Her ouid tolerance is absolutely nothing. She takes a few drags and gets super giggly. I’m pretty sure if anyone gave her an edible she’d astral project and never come back.

Hates public speaking. Hates it with a passion. She gets really flustered and confused and apologizes a lot.

This bitch leaves moisturizer everywhere in the goddamn house. Different scents, different types, but it’s literally somewhere in every room. Same with chapstick. She’s got car body lotion and office body lotion and bedroom body lotion and it’s honestly just getting out of hand at this point. BUT! She’s easy to buy gifts for at least....

She LOVES budgeting but is really embarrassed about it. She’s pretty secretive about it, and won’t obviously say “sorry that’s out of my budget”, preferring instead to quietly find an excuse or other way. The satisfaction of identifying how much comes in and what needs to go out is 10/10 for her. If MC needs financial advise she’ll be really excited to break it all down and look at the numbers.

Building off of that, one of her favorite things to do is calculate what monthly mortgage payment would be the absolute stretch for her (though realistically she’d never feel comfortable committing to more than 25% of her income) and then search online for homes that match that. In another life she’d be an estate agent.

Curly hair is NOT a joke to her- she’s very passionate about the ‘do NOT brush it out’ and ‘scrunch it’ and ‘cover it with a silk cap/tshirt’ system.

She loved hopscotch as a kid and create super long, intricate scotches (idk what to call them lmao). As an adult, if she sees one she will ALWAYS do it, and she gets really excited about it. If you’re walking and she sees one, she will cross the street just to do it.

She’s really into visual art (which is one of the reasons she was so into my S1 MC) and adores museum dates. She loves standing in front of a painting for 30 minutes just staring, then looking up history about it and interpretations on her phone.

Not to talk too much about my MCs, but S1 Clara is a stone cold slytherin bitch who takes no shit and is not nice to people she doesn’t know. She’s super intimidating (purposefully so), but Talia is really warm and approachable. I love their high femme ‘really friendlyXstoic and mean’ dynamic so much.

#ask #talia hcs #litg talia #litg #god i miss my wifeeeeeee #also- if you think tumblr ate your ask dont feel weird about re-submitting :)#i will warn yall that I'm sitting on a bunch of them because I want the answers to be better than my drafts #also a lot of the 'what would the LIs do' are saved in drafts because I cant think of one specific Li's reaction

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assembledherethevolunteers · 4 years

Text

Future Management Chapter 8

A/N: Hi all! Hope you had a great holiday! I know I said this would be done before the new year, but I think I’m going to post the last chapter on Ben’s birthday (January 2nd). So not too much behind, but thought I’d let you guys know! Anyway! I love you guys and hope you continue to enjoy!

Pairing: Ben Hardy x fem!Reader

Summary: You and Ben Hardy had been together for the better part of a decade. After hitting a rough patch, the two of you decide to end things. However, one small surprise keeps you two connected more than you thought.

Warnings: SMUT! (only my 2nd time writing it, so I hope it’s okay) Unprotected sex (stay safe out there, y’all) That’s uh…about it. Some slightly jealous/dom!Ben (very brief)

Catch Up: Prologue (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188795655663/future-management) Chapter 1 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188846514968/future-management-chapter-1) Chapter 2 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188923255568/future-management-chapter-2) Chapter 3 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/189095339763/future-management-chapter-3) Chapter 4 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/189199837403/future-management-chapter-4) Chapter 5 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/189300488163/future-management-chapter-5) Chapter 6 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/189442099338/future-management-chapter-6) Chapter 7 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/189800039798/future-management-chapter-7)

Taglist: @lovebirdy93 @jonesyaddiction @im-an-adult-ish @taylorroger-s @springholland @stassaurus @hahaboop @tcnystqrks @bloatedandlonly @doctorwhatwhenandwhere @amy-brooklyn99 @mercurycrowley @shineedrmgrl @yourstateofdreaming @annamikyska @bensakindofmagic @queenlover05 @annihrdy @iamthebeth If I missed you I’m sorry! Please let me know if you want to be added.

“You know,” Ben whispered in your ear. “The driver seems very focused on the road. We could…have some fun back here.” Ben waggled his eyebrows at you.

The two of you were in the back of the car. Ben put his arm around you and you snuggled into his side.

You giggled and smacked his chest.

“No, we can’t because you, Mr. Jones, get handsy when you’re kissing and if you mess up my hair before we make that red carpet, Sam will kill you.”

“I bet I could take him,” Ben moved your hair to one side and pressed a kiss to where neck met your shoulder.

“We’ll be there soon, and we’ve got a whole hotel room to ourselves after everything. There’s going to be lots of champagne. And you know how I get when I’ve had champagne,” you smiled at Ben and raised one eyebrow.

Ben chuckled under his breath.

“If that’s the case, I can wait,” Ben’s hand started gently stroking your arm. “Are you nervous?”

“About the film?”

“Well, I meant more about the reporters and everybody knowing that we’re back together.”

You looked up at him. “I…I mean, yeah, but…God, this is going to sound so cheesy,” you looked away.

Ben used two fingers to move your head so that you were looking at him again. “Tell me anyway.”

You looked into Ben’s eyes. They were searching yours for an answer.

“I…if you’re with me, it doesn’t matter. We can do this.”

Ben smiled at you and pressed his lips to yours gently.

“I know we can,” Ben told you when he pulled away.

The rest of the car ride, the two of you were quiet, just enjoying the calm before the storm and just being with each other.

Suddenly, the car stopped, and you glanced around Ben and out of the window to see hundreds of people. Fans, reporters, photographers, and some of your fellow cast and crew.

You looked at Ben and he gave you a big smile.

“I love you,” Ben whispered and gave you a kiss. It was just like what the two of you used to do before stepping out at movies or award shows.

The driver came around and opened the door. The first thing you heard was screaming. Then you saw the flashes. Ben took your hand before he stepped out of the car and thanked the driver.

“Oh you’re welcome. Your bags will be waiting in your room,” he gave Ben a nod before getting out of the way. You felt everybody there took a deep breath as you got out of car with Ben. It was quiet for a beat before people started screaming.

“Y/N! Y/N! OVER HERE!”

“BEN! LOOK HERE!”

“ARE YOU BACK TOGHETER?!”

The two of you smiled and waved.

“Y/N! Y/N! It’s Jasmine from E!”

You liked Jasmine, so you pulled Ben over to her.

“Hi, sweetie! How are you?” She gave you a hug and an air kiss to the cheek.

“I’m great! How are you?”

“Very well! So, I’m not even going to pretend this isn’t weird. Hi, Ben!” Jasmine gave him a smile.

“Hi, Jasmine,” Ben gave her a shy smile before she turned to you.

“What’s going on here? Are you two back together? Are you moving back to London?”

“Actually, we haven’t gotten to that yet, but we are back together!” You beamed.

Jasmine squealed and pulled both of you into a hug and then looked at the camera.

“Well, you heard it here on E! first. Y/N L/N and Ben Hardy are officially back together!”

Ben squeezed your hand and the two of you continued down the line with pictures and interviews, most of them having to do with you and Ben, but then it would change to the movie. It was going really well.

“Y/N!” You heard from behind you. You looked over and saw Jackson waving at you.

You smiled at him and walked over, pulling Ben along. You gave him a hug and then stepped back closer to Ben.

“Well, hello you two,” Jackson gave you both a knowing smile.

Ben offered Jackson his hand. “I owe you an apology, mate. I have been…well, a real prick, if I’m being honest, and I’m sorry.”

Jackson smiled, and shook Ben’s hand. “Nah, man. I get it,” Jackson looked at you then back to Ben. “Love makes people act like idiots sometimes.”

You blushed and leaned into Ben’s side. Ben put his arm around your waist after he and Jackson let go of each other’s hands.

“JACKSON! Y/N! CAN WE GET SOME SHOTS?!”

You turned to Ben. “Behave while I go take some pictures?”

“Oh, never,” Ben gave you a kiss on the cheek as you and Jackson walked over to where they were directing you.

“So, you and Ben are back together,” Jackson stated matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, we are,” you said through your smile as cameras were taking pictures of you and Jackson.

“Well good, I’m glad you’re happy.”

You looked at Jackson and saw him smiling at you. You smiled back and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Alright, Jackson! You come down here and Y/N, you stay here,” one of the organizers came over and pulled Jackson a few yards down.

The photographers and reporters were yelling your name and you did your best to look every direction so they could get the pictures.

“Can we get some with Ben?!” Somebody yelled.

You looked over at Ben, who was talking to one of photographers. Another organizer walked over and then brought Ben over to you. He wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Well hello, again,” Ben grinned.

“Hi, come here often?” You grinned back.

“Well, if there are women like you around here, I’ll be sure to come more often.”

You rolled your eyes and bit your lip to keep from smiling but damn him.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Ben laughed and pressed a kiss to your temple (and you were pretty sure there were more flashes than there had been).

There were a few more pictures and interviews before they were able to sign autographs and take pictures with some fans.

“I can’t believe that you two are back together,” one woman practically squealed at you as you signed a picture she had of you. “You two are my favorite!”

You smiled at her. “Thank you so much!”

After a few more signatures and selfies, you were being ushered into the theater with everybody else.

“Y/N, so happy to see you,” TJ, the director, pulled you into a hug. He then looked at Ben up and down. “You’re Ben Hardy.”

“Yes, sir, hi,” Ben offered his hand.

You bit your bottom lip to keep from smiling. You knew Ben was turning on the charm. Whether he knew it or not. TJ and Ben talked for a few minutes before TJ excused himself to talk to someone else.

“Did you bring a headshot for him too?” You nudged Ben with your elbow.

“What? I wasn’t doing anything.”

“You were schmoozing. Hardcore.”

Ben opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He shook his head with a smile.

“Alright, maybe a bit.”

“Champagne?” A waiter came by with a tray of champagne flutes and Ben grabbed two, nodding his thanks before handing you one and clinking your glasses together.

“To you, my love.”

You and Ben each took a sip, not taking your eyes off each other. You couldn’t believe you were here with him again. You’d never thought that this would happen, the two of you getting back together.

“Y/N!” You heard Ginger yell your name from somewhere. You looked around for her. “Over here!” You looked towards the bar and found her. She waved you over. She was standing next to a gorgeous woman that you knew to be her girlfriend, Heidi.

You grabbed Ben’s hand and led him the way to Ginger. You gave her a hug and then Heidi.

“Ginger, Heidi, this is Ben,” you gestured to him and they both shook his hands.

“So, this is the guy that you’ve been hung up on?”

“Ginger,” you hissed at her.

“Well, I’ve been hung up on her too,” Ben laughed and squeezed your hand.

“Well that’s good, otherwise I think this would be awkward,” Ginger took a sip of her drink.

Heidi rolled her eyes and looked at Ben. “You’ll have to excuse her, she’s already on her second drink.”

Ginger stuck her tongue out at Heidi and Heidi returned the gesture.

The lights started to flicker and the four of you looked up.

“We better get in there. We’ll see you guys at the after party, right?”

“Of course! We’ll see you two later,” you gave them each a hug again before you and Ben went in to find your seats.

You were seated next to Jackson near the middle of the theater and he smiled at up at you.

“Y/N, you remember my sister, Joanna?” Jackson gestured to the woman sitting next to him. She stood up and offered you her hand.

“Hi, Jo,” you shook her hand. You had met her once or twice on set. She seemed nice enough.

“Hi,” she looked over at Ben and her eyes bugged for a second. “H…hi, and you’re?”

“Ben, nice to meet you,” Ben shook her hand. “I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.”

Your heart nearly stopped and you turned back to look at him. Ben and Jo sat down but you were still trying to process what he said. Boyfriend. Yes, you supposed he was your boyfriend. It made you ridiculously happy to hear.

“Y/N?”

You looked down at Ben. “I…yeah?”

“Aaaare you going to sit down?”

“Yes, sorry,” you sat down in your seat.

“Are you alright?” Ben whispered in your ear.

You looked at him and stared at him for a moment. He looked back and raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I just…hearing you say you’re my boyfriend again was…” You tried to find the right word, but you couldn’t find it.

“Well, I’m not your husband again yet, so, I’ll settle for boyfriend. For now anyway.”

You were shocked by that response. You were trying to think of something, but then TJ stood up in front of the screen. Everybody started clapping and TJ held his hands up with a jovial smile.

“Thank you all so much for being here!” His voice was booming. It almost brought you back to set. “We are so excited to share this film with you all here in London. We’re fortunate enough that the author of this wonderful novel, Ms. Caroline Mayer, here with us.” TJ paused as everybody applauded and Caroline stood up and waved. “Now, I could stand up here and talk about how much work everybody put in and how wonderful our cast and crew is…”

TJ kept talking, but you weren’t paying attention because Ben’s hand moved to your thigh and started rubbing it with his thumb.

“…so without further ado, please enjoy our film.”

Everybody started clapping again and the lights went down.

You sort of didn’t like this part of the job. Watching yourself on a huge screen. It didn’t matter how well you acted. You could always find something wrong.

You tried to get Ben’s attention a couple different ways. You grabbed his hand off your thigh and played with his fingers. He let you for a few moments before he intertwined your fingers and brought your hands down between you, really paying attention to the movie.

You watched Ben’s face for a few scenes. There were sometimes that you weren’t sure he was enjoying it. You noticed his jaw clench for a moment when there was a scene between you and Jackson that was…intimate.

“You alright?” You whispered to him.

Ben just gave you a quick glance and nod and then looked back at the screen.

The rest of the movie you tried to pay attention to without critiquing yourself too much. You eventually rested your head on Ben’s shoulder. He pressed a kiss to your forehead but stayed focused on the screen.

The final scene, where you and Jackson embraced after a long, grueling fight with the antagonist, played and Ben squeezed your hand. He pressed a kiss to your temple.

“I am so proud of you. That was amazing.”

You picked your head up and looked at him with a smile. He smiled back and pulled you into a kiss with some heat behind it.

The lights came up and Ben pulled away, smirking at you, knowing what he’d just done to you.

TJ stood up and gave a speech about the after party that would be across the street at the Grande Hotel.

“…and of course, we’ve got rooms if needed. I hope to see you all over there!” TJ clapped his hands together, dismissing everyone.

You stood up and Jackson stood up and turned to you.

“I always forget how intense that last scene is,” Jackson shrugged.

“How?! It took us almost a whole week to shoot!” You laughed.

“True.”

“That was really good, mate,” Ben leaned around you and offered Jackson his hand.

Jackson gave him a full smile and Ben returned it as they shook hands.

“Thanks, man. Well, we’ll see you both over there?”

“Of course, Jack,” You pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek.

Jackson and Joanna left, and you turned to Ben.

“That was nice of you,” you took Ben’s hand again.

“It was honest. Although, I do think I have some issues with a scene or two,” Ben replied as he led you through the row.

“Oh?” You pretended not to know what he meant. “What scenes were those?”

Once you were out of the row, Ben pulled you close to him and murmured to you, “I’ll show you later.”

That made you giggle.

“Let’s go get some champagne and celebrate,” you started pulling Ben towards to the lobby.

Nearly three hours later, you were feeling very good. After dinner and dessert, you’d probably drank almost an entire bottle of champagne and you noticed that your hands were nearly always on Ben in some way or another. And he always had a hand on you somewhere. The small of your back when you talking to TJ at the bar, your thigh when you were sitting with Ginger and Heidi, holding your hand while talking to some people from the crew that made the trip.

You left Ben to get more drinks at the bar and saw Jackson sitting by himself at the bar. After you ordered, you walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Why so glum, chum?”

Jackson gave you a lazy smile. You knew that he was feeling pretty good himself.

“Oh I ain’t glum. Opposite actually. I feel amazing.”

You laughed and gave Jackson a slight push.

“We did amazing, kid.”

“We sure did. I’m pretty proud of us,” you grinned.

“Me too,” Jackson held up his glass of whiskey to you.

You picked up the champagne flute that had been dropped off by the bartender (along with a gin and tonic for Ben) and clinked it to his glass.

“To us, sweetheart,” Jackson winked before the two of you took a sip.

“Jack,” you began, the alcohol making you pretty hazy. You wanted to tell him thank you, and that you were sorry, and that everything would work out for him, but he held a hand up to you.

“I know, Y/N, I know.”

You leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I meant it ya know,” you grabbed Ben’s gin and tonic. “You deserve a lot better than me.”

Jackson just shook his head and took another drink before you turned away and walked back to Ben. You handed him his drink and he fixed you with a stare. You noticed that his eyes were a dark shade of green.

“Do you have the key to our room?”

You frowned at him. You thought he was having fun.

“Yes, why?”

Ben took a long swig from his drink and dragged his eyes over you.

“We should get going. It’s getting late.”

“Oooookay?” You shot him a look but drained your champagne. You looked around at people to say goodbye, but Ben grabbed your hand and started leading you towards the elevator. You waved at a few people, but you were out of the ballroom before you could say anything to anybody.

Ben pushed the elevator button and the two of you waited for the elevator to arrive. Neither of you said anything. The elevator arrived and the two of you went inside.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Ben pinned you against one of the walls of the elevator. You gasped and looked at him.

“Ben, what…?”

“You know, all night, I had to watch Jackson kiss you on that giant fucking screen,” Ben’s voice was calm as he traced your jaw with one of his fingers.

“Alright?”

Ben leaned in and growled in your ear, “So, maybe I should leave some reminders, so everyone remembers who you belong to.”

“What are you…?” You sucked in a breath as Ben not-so-gently bit and started to suck at your neck. You could practically already feel the mark he’d be leaving.

Ben pushed his hips more into yours as he slid a hand into your hair, maneuvering your head so that he had more access to your neck.

“B…Ben, I…” you stammered out.

“Yes, love?” Ben replied like he wasn’t tripling your pulse rate and continued to kiss and suck and bite around your neck.

You closed your eyes and moaned at a well placed bite.

“Theeeeere it is,” you felt Ben smirk against your skin before he started again.

Oh, two could play this game, Jones. You grabbed his free hand and held it up to your lips. You pressed a kiss to one of his fingertips. Ben stopped the assault on your neck and looked at you.

“Oh, baby, it looks like you got some caramel sauce on your fingers.”

Ben started to pull his hand away to inspect it when you put his pointer finger and middle finger in your mouth and gently sucked on them, making Ben groan. He glanced at the door of the elevator.

“This is the slowest fucking lift in history.”

You giggled around his fingers before pulling them out of your mouth.

“Don’t worry, Benny,” you looked at him through your lashes. “We’ve got all night.”

Ben pressed his chest to yours and lifted your chin.

“Don’t know how much longer I can wait. Four years is way too long to wait.”

As if hearing your conversation, the door (finally) opened and Ben pulled you down the hall. You laughed.

“Slow down! You don’t even know where we’re going!”

“I heard TJ tell you we’re in 1039,” Ben replied and led you to the right door. “Key?”

You very slowly started looking through your purse. “Hm…I know it’s here,” you teased.

“Y/N,” Ben breathed in your ear before he nibbled your ear lobe. You closed your eyes and leaned into him. “There’s more where that came from if you find that key.”

You opened your eyes and tore apart your purse.

“Oh look! I found it!” You held up the key triumphantly.

The two of you were practically falling over each other to get into the room. Once the door was shut, Ben pinned you against it with his hips. He didn’t kiss you. He just looked over your face. You stared back, barely being able to see but there was enough moonlight filtering in from the window.

“Were you all talk or…?”

“I just…am enjoying the view.”

“The last time you did that, Eliza cut our night short.”

“Good point,” Ben replied before slamming his lips to yours.

You kissed him back and wrapped your fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. You felt a heat your stomach already. Ben slid his hands down your body, making your shiver.

You moved your hands and pushed Ben’s suit jacket off before you started to unbutton his shirt.

“Where’s the zipper, love?” Ben asked in a husky voice.

“Side,” you moved your arm so that Ben knew which side the zipper was on.

He quickly unzipped your dress and let it fall down your body. Ben stepped back and helped you step out of it. He blinked at you in your underwear and heels for a few moments. It was starting to make you self-conscious.

“Come here,” Ben whispered, pulling him to you and kissing you again.

You kicked your shoes off and jumped up wrapping your legs around Ben’s waist. He held you up and moved his hands to cup under your ass. He laid you down on the bed, before breaking the kiss.

You whined when he pulled away and Ben chuckled.

“Just a second. I think it’s a little unfair that I’m still dressed,” Ben told you as he stripped down to his boxer briefs. Then he leaned over you and smiled. “Better?”

“Oh much better,” you smiled.

Ben pressed his lips to yours quickly before he kissed down your neck, much gentler than he had in the elevator.

“Ben,” you breathed out.

“Tell me what you want, Y/N.”

You didn’t answer right away and Ben reached around and unhooked your bra, sliding it off you and kissing down your chest. He circled one of your nipples with his tongue.

You leaned up into his mouth and let out a moan as Ben’s hands slid to your hips.

“I need your mouth, lower,” you whimpered. If you had any coherent thought besides one that got Ben’s mouth where you wanted him most, maybe you would’ve been embarrassed but right now you didn’t care.

Ben continued down your stomach, which was something you usually hated. You had stretch marks from your pregnancy that still made you insecure, but Ben traced them with his lips, taking his time and making you feel less nervous about them.

“I love your body,” Ben muttered against you before he continued even lower. “Do you want these off?” He asked as he snapped the waistband of your panties.

“God, yes.”

You could feel his hot breath against your clothed core before he slid them down your thighs, pressing kisses to your legs as he went. He kissed back up, and sucked a mark into your thigh before he slid one of his fingers between your folds. You both moaned.

“You’re so wet, love. Who did this to you?”

“You did, you fu…ahhhh!” You threaded one of your hands through Ben’s hair as he flicked his tongue to your clit.

“What was that? Didn’t quite catch that,” Ben’s voice was smug, so you have his hair a bit of a tug. Which only made him move his lips to your sensitive nub completely.

You fisted the sheets and closed your eyes.

“Ben, if you…FUCK!” You shouted when Ben slid one of his fingers inside.

“You really need to finish your sentences, darling.” Ben didn’t even wait for your response before he dove back in.

You could feel like you already about to burst. You were almost there…

“Ben…m…more?”

Ben didn’t make you ask again as he slid another thick finger into you.

“YES! Yes, ohmygodBendontstop,” you started babbling until Ben hit that spot with his fingers and dragged his teeth gently across your bundle of nerves and you exploded. Once you were done, Ben kissed up your stomach and chest again. You were breathing heavily when you felt Ben’s lips on the corner of your mouth.

“Alright there, sweetheart?”

You opened your eyes and stared at him for a moment.

“More than alright,” you smiled at him, still breathing heavily. “Now,” you rolled over on top of him, clearly taking him by surprise and you snickered at the look on his face. “Let me return the favor.”

You made your way down Ben’s toned chest and abs, paying attention to the way his muscles contracted when he inhaled rapidly, especially when you got lower to his waistband. You could see how hard he already was and it made your mouth water. You traced him with your mouth through the thin fabric and heard him swear under his breath.

“Alright there Benny?” You whispered.

“I feel like I’ll be much better shortly,” Ben ran a hand through your hair.

“Oh you will,” you slid his boxers off and watched his cock bounce on his stomach. The tip was red and it was already leaking. You stuck your tongue out and kitten licked at the head. Ben’s hand in your hair tightened and he groaned as he held his head up to watch you.

You slowly started to take more of him into your mouth and you could tell that he was holding back fucking into your mouth.

“You feel so good, love,” he muttered. At that, you took him as deep as you could, hitting the back of your throat.

“FUCK!” Ben threw his head back and closed his eyes.

You started to bob up and down on Ben’s cock, his moaning and whispers encouraging you the whole time. You could feel him start to thrust into you, making you gag. You pulled off to catch your breath and wanted to get back to it, but Ben held your head up.

“Y/N, I swear, if you keep doing that I won’t last and I want to be inside you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him but he moved so that he was straddling your hips. He ran his still hard cock through your folds.

“Ben,” you started, but clearly he couldn’t wait any longer either.

You both moaned loudly as he entered you.

“You’re so tight for me, baby,” Ben huffed in your ear. He went deeper and deeper until he was completely inside you, filling you up. The stretch was slightly painful, but it felt so good all you could do was make incoherent half sentences.

“Move please” was apparently the only thing Ben needed before he pulled out and started to really fuck you.

“Shiiiiiit!” You started clawing at his back, leaving marks of your own on him. You could feel your second orgasm building each time he entered you. You could feel Ben hitting your sweet spot with almost every thrust of his hips. You hadn’t been this full in a long time and fuck, had you missed it.

“I’m so close,” Ben grunted.

“Let go, Benny, you can let…”

With that, Ben painted your walls white, sending you over the edge as well. The two of you rode out your orgasms together, keeping each other close. Once you both were done, Ben rested his forehead to yours and smiled.

“Wow,” he breathed out.

“You could say that again,” you laughed quietly and kissed him. You could still taste some of yourself on him.

“I’m going to pull out now, alright?”

You nodded. Ben slowly pulled himself out and stood up.

“W…where are you going?” You asked, weirdly nervous that he was just going to leave.

Ben smiled at you, and kissed your forehead.

“I’m getting us a washcloth so that we can clean up.”

You hummed at him and then closed your eyes. You heard him go into the bathroom and then come back. You opened your eyes and gave him a lazy smile.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Ben whispered so quietly that you weren’t sure if you were meant to hear it or not. Ben sat next to you on the bed and handed you the wash cloth.

You cleaned yourself up and then stood up yourself.

“I’ll be right back,” you gave Ben a quick kiss and then went into the bathroom.

You put the washcloth in the hamper and then looked at yourself in the mirror.

“Holy shit,” you muttered to yourself. Your makeup and hair were a mess, but that was nothing compared to your neck. There were bruises and hickeys everywhere. How were you supposed to cover those up for the next few days?

You got ready for bed by taking your makeup off and taking your hair all the way down. You walked back out to see Ben lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey,” you said softly to him.

He looked up at you and then opened his arms to you.

You jumped on the bed and then fell next to him. He laughed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his chest.

“I forgot how amazing we are at that.”

“You know the last time we did that we got Eliza, right?”

That made Ben laugh. “Well, maybe we’ll get lucky again.”

You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“You want more kids? Now?”

Ben shrugged and stroked your arm.

“Maybe not right now, but, I mean…we always talked about a lot of kids.”

That made you laugh. “Yeah, we did, huh?”

Ben pressed his lips to your hair.

“We can talk about this all later. Right now, I think we both need some sleep.”

“Please? Between champagne and two orgasms, you’re lucky I’m even remotely lucid right now.”

Ben grabbed the comforter and pulled it over the two of you before he wrapped his arms around again. You rested your head on his chest again and closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat, which was still beating a little fast.

“Night, Ben.”

“Night, Y/N.”

Just as you started to drift off, you heard him whisper “I love you”.

“I love you too.”

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #gwilym lee #joe mazzello #rami malek #lucy boynton #queen #bohemian rhapsody #bo rhap #ben hardy smut #krissys writings #fan fic writing #reader insert #future management

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stoopsbookstore · 5 years

Text

The Fan (Chapter 2)

Warnings - Mentions of groping, accident at a performance

“Do you know what happened to your fansite, Y/N?”

Aya looked at her group member, scrolling through Instagram to see Milton's post, showing the phone screen to Y/N.

"Wow, he seems pissed," Y/N read the post, feeling uncertain about the post, "I mean, I guess it's sweet he cares enough to get mad over people trying to get upskirt shots."

"And he hasn't tried to grope her yet," Sanghee jumped over the sofa to sit next to Y/N, throwing her arm around her, "and if he does, I'm sure security will ban him like that guy who tried to go through our dressing room and sniff our underwear."

"Not funny," Y/N threw a pillow at the laughing Sanghee, hitting her face, "Yunhee was terrified, the poor thing wanted to escorted everywhere."

"She's our maknae, of cours-"

"To be fair, a 15 year old should be able to handle going to the bathroom without having a security guard stand outside the stall," Aya corrected Sanghee.

"Let's focus on something good. The previews of the photos are amazing! Look!" Chinsun hooked up her laptop to the TV, gleefully sorting through the photos, "Firethorn is amazing! Look at the angle on this one."

"Is he one of the guys from that ATEEZ studio Milton mentioned?" Chinsun opened a bag of chips, crunching them one after anothet, "isn't there a bunch of them?"

"However many there is, they take amazing photos," Y/N clicked the mouse, seeing all of the members throughout the year they've been together.

The group was broken out of their trance, their manager had entered the dorm's living room.

"We have to go, girls! 2 hours until showtime!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why am I being dragged along?"

Hongjoong was being pulled by Yunho and Wooyoung, the pair hurrying through the crowd.

"Because we need someone to hold our shit!" Yunho gave his camera bag to the older boy, looking through his camera, taking test shots of the arena, "I would've asked Seonghwa, but he's still upset about his camera."

"I would be too if some sleazeball pushed someone into me," Wooyoung snapped a picture of the crew setting up the stage.

"Well, I need to go take a piss, take your shit," Hongjoong handed Yunho back his luggage, handing to the bathroom before the performance started.

"He's going to miss the performance, he's not going to be able to get a good seat!" Yunho freaked out, waving his camera wildly and accidentally hitting a little fanboy who had been holding a sign for Yunhee, "oh shit, my bad, little dude. Here, you can have my lightstick."

The little boy stopped sobbing, snatching the Blossom Bong out of his hand, walking away from the tall boy, pouting for his father. The lights had changed to the group's signature colors, a dark green and a light mint, representing the stem of a flower. Erupting from the audience, the cheers drowned out the sound of whacks on metal.

Yunho's phone started buzzing, a text from Hongjoong appearing.

Dude, I can't get back in. They said once you're out, you're out.

Wtf thats bull shit! Its fine, the mall is just 2 blocks away, I'll go there, get some food, how long is the concert?

"Pick your petals! Hi, we are Bloom!"

Only about 90 minutes

ok, do you guys want anything?

Yeah, just get us some pizza. Ill text you when it's over. Sorry bro.

Its okay, Im not big on them anyway. And we'll have plently of more chances to see them.

After a few songs, the girls stood on stage to talk to the audience, a formality of their concerts.

"Petals, we are so proud of you," Chinsun had someone's camera, taking a selfie with Yunhee who was talking to the crowd, "because of you, we are able to stand on stage and dance, rap and sing, we're allowed to live our dream."

"Yunhee, you softie," Y/N was on the other end of the stage, holding a stuffed animal that someone had thrown on stage, "We may not have had a first win, we may not have a number one album, but we're with you guys and that's all that matters!"

"But I'm expecting a win for our comeba-"

Sanghee and Yunhee ran to Y/N, covering her mouth and dragging her to the floor.

"Just ignore her, she has a big mouth," Aya pointed her microphone at Y/N, the trio laughing on the stage floor, "she's always talking about crazy stuff. A comeback? Next month? That's insane!"

"But," the audience held their breath, Yunho and Wooyoung's camera clicking photos, a smug grin adorning Chinsun's face, "do you want a preview?"

The crowd roared into a thunderous applause, the girls gathering at center stage, waiting for Aya to come to them.

When Aya was about to step on the platform, it had collapsed, causing her to fall six feet onto her ankle.

"Fuck!" She had screamed in pain, the other members being held back by security as backstage crew helped Aya to her feet, her ankle throbbing in intense pain, "my leg! My fucking leg!"

"Holy shit!"

Wooyoung and Yunho saw the incident, Aya just a few feet front of them. She held her ankle when a security guard came, picking her up and bringing her offstage. The rest of the members were in a circle, talking to each other when their managers walked up, pulling them off stage. An announcement came up, the audience groaning and booing at what the voice had to say.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have to cancel the rest of the concert. Check your email for any information about refunds, exchanges or other opportunities. We apologize for the inconvenience."

Yunho's phone vibrated, Wooyoung snapping a few photos of the downed platform.

"Dude," Yunho looked at Wooyoung with a disappointed look, the younger male lowering his camera in shame, "it's Hongjoong. Come on, let's go."

What happened?! Im in the lobby and heard a crash!

Aya got hurt! The stage fell

how did the stage fall?

I dont know. Theyre kicking everyone out and Bloom was pretty much ripped off stage. Its fucking bullshit, but I hope Aya's okay.

How is everyone else? Hows Yunhee hows Y/N?

Theyre fine from what we saw, a bit shaking. Where are you in the lobby?

Near the dipping dots

"Do you think that Milton guy will have something to say?"

"I don't think I even saw him there," Wooyoung mentioned the apparent absence of the fansite master, "I wonder if he had to do something with it."

Yunho scoffed at the theory, spotting Hongjoong in the disgruntled crowd, passing by the little boy, who was now full on pouring out tears.

"He may be crazy, but I don't think he would be that crazy."

"Who?" Hongjoong sipped his soda, Wooyoung taking his drink while the trio watched the people leave the arena, "that White Jasmine guy?"

"Yeah, he wasn't there," Yunho checked his phone, "no post either."

Hongjoong, Yunho and Wooyoung begun to hid out to the car, the cloud hanging out the parking lot dark and gloomy as the cries of little boys and girls could be heard for miles. Yunho started the car, Wooyoung getting in the back while Hongjoong turned on the radio, the car filling with one of Bloom's b-sides.

"Not now," Wooyoung reached between the front seats, switching it to classic music.

The rest of the ride spent in tense disappointment.

#Hongjoong #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez au #ateez smut #ateez imagines #the fan #Halloween series #my writings

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captainkirkk · 5 years

Text

✩ Weekly Fic Round-Up ✩

A collection of fics I’ve read (/reread) and thoroughly enjoyed in the past week-ish from all kinds of fandoms and genres.

The Hollow

✩ Hollow Outside by GuardianKarenTerrier

They've won the game. It's all over now, to their relief.

That relief doesn't last long when they find themselves catapulted from one trap to another.

It doesn't take long for Adam, Kai and Mira to realize that they're still in just as much, or more, danger, and the only thing in the world that they know they can count on is each other. Now, they're going to need that bond more than ever.

Brooklyn Nine Nine

Out of Range by hoperise

What does Jake do while undercover, injured, and cut off from his support network? Annoy Santiago with anonymous text messages, of course.

BNHA

put a bullet (where I should've put a helmet) by canlah

Midoriya Izuku has a very high pain threshold. It's useful, until it's not.

It isn't until Izuku reaches his breaking point that he realises he doesn't have to carry this pain by himself.

Bunny by Undead Artist (UndeadArtist)

He’s twelve when he realises, from notes and scribbles and an unsteady conversation with the vigilante Stain, who speaks with him as if they’ve met before, that dying picks at his brain – erasing bits and pieces of his memories and leaving his mind in a shoddy patchwork of a mess.

At that point it’s already too late – whatever he’d been before he was Deku is completely gone, dissolved from his mind with only a vague idea of a woman who’d meant something.

Izuku's Project by bitchy

Now that he finally has a moment to reflect on what Todoroki told him during the Sports Festival, Izuku realizes there's only one way to take down Endeavor.

Research to Rescue by KingofPillows

Shouta Aizawa is an underground pro hero. Taking a mission to go undercover in Japan’s biggest mafia was one of the worst things he could’ve done. Then he learned someone he thought was his biggest threat was anything but. Discovering what bound a big-hearted child to a life of evil was what turned this job as a mole into a rescue mission.

Izuku Midoriya, a Quirkless and weak child, had always wanted to be a hero, ever since he was a kid. With orders from his father, he was now the Rabbit. A well-known assassin for Japan’s biggest mafia. Saddled with two and a half Quirks of his very own, and a long list of sins on his back, he knows he’d never be someone worth being called a hero.

Then someone tells him he's worth something and it all falls apart.

Avatar The Last Airbender

The Fountain of the Jasmine Dragon by ishouldwritethatdown

Zuko takes Izumi on a father-daughter outing to the Jasmine Dragon while in Ba Sing Se to ask Iroh for help with something that requires his critical and undivided attention. The health of the crown princess of the Fire Nation is nothing to be left to chance, after all - yes, it might be just a cold, but you can never be too careful.

Never Look Away by WinterSky101

Iroh learns quickly that raising his voice doesn’t work very well with Zuko.

Dragon's Brood Series by FeatherQuilt88

Iroh & Zuko post-canon, plus a very small adopted addition to their family

All for the Game/The Foxhole Court

Saturday Sun by bamboo_astronaut

Jean Moreau arrives at USC bruised and battered, and Jeremy Knox is determined to help him heal from his painful past and welcome him to the Trojans with open arms.

failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged by seaworn

Jeremy talks to Jean like his entire existence isn’t a neatly wrapped tragedy.

Miraculous Ladybug

the cost of being a superhero by flowersandsunshine

when gabriel agreste is revealed to be hawk moth, elena secoureur immediately decides to check in with adrien the next morning at school. she expected him to be upset. what she didn't expect was to quickly find out the identity of every superhero in paris, and to be the guidance counselor of all five of them on top of it all.

well, she wasn't going to let those startling discoveries stop her. no, indeed. she was going to be the best counselor they could ask for. after all, someone had to help those kids. it might as well be her.

Adrien's Last Resort: Clothes of Revenge by Maniyak

Let's just say Adrien keeps his tools of revenge at the back of his closet until he needs to use it. Normally he uses one or two pieces of it. Today, he needs it all.

Girls Night Out by LNC, Squabbler

The fate of Alix Kubdel's birthday party rests in the pants of one Adrien Agreste.

by my side (when the rain comes pouring in) by SailorChibi

Two years after Marinette got her miraculous, she meets Adrien Agreste for the first time. In spite of an initial gum-related bump in the road, they become fast friends thanks to their shared interest in fashion and design. But there's something funny about Adrien. He seems to suffer from terminal clumsiness just like Marinette, frequently sporting sprained wrists and ankles, new bruises, and other injuries. Injuries which look suspiciously similar to the ones that Ladybug's beloved partner has...

Chat Noir's Convention Cosplay Crisis by silveradept

Chat, chilling, taking selfies and admiring the cosplayers at convention, where he's one Chat among many.

Marvel

Saviors of the Universe by LoopyLiesey

SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME

Group chat/Twitter fic post-Endgame

Kick names, take ass @PeterParkour I just realised I have 5 years of memes to catch up on

Be Still, My Child by ambivalentlangst

Peter wishes he had stayed as dust. Dust belongs to nobody but the cosmos, infinite in its intricacies. Dust is not forced to stay still with a flex of bejeweled fingers. Dust is not forced to be anything, least of all a child, but Thanos will watch the sun rise with one at his side.

#maybe longer than a week and some of these were technically rereads but!! still #this was a lot of fun i should definitely do this again #fic recs #weekly fic round up #my posts #long post /#marvel recs #ml recs #aftg recs #atla recs #bnha recs #b99 recs #misc recs

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

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Star, February 24

Cover: Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt adopting a baby girl but no plans to marry yet

Page 1: Jeremy Renner and Eiza Gonzalez get their game on and raise some eyebrows during a wild night out in Miami at the Super Bowl

Page 2: Contents, Kendall Jenner

Page 4: After believing her cancer was in remission Shannen Doherty opened up about its recurrence and vowed to fight it

Page 5: Kathie Lee Gifford ready to fall in love again, RHOBH alum Kim Richards’ memoir comes out April 28 and she says it’s explosive, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel’s vibe was chilly at the premiere of her show The Sinner three months after Justin was busted holding hands with a costar

Page 6: Khloe Kardashian is looking more and more unrecognizable these days and her family is warning her to slow down with the plastic surgery, Madonna offered Prince Harry and Meghan Markle the opportunity to sublet her Central Park West digs instead of boring Canada, Star Spots the Stars -- Cardi B, Tiffani Thiessen, Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, Josh Groban and Gerard Way, Megan Thee Stallion, Alec Baldwin, Ric Flair

Page 8: Star Shots -- Alicia Keys in London, Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes during a parade for the Kansas City Chiefs at Disney World, Meghan Trainor at the American Heart Association Go Red for Women Red Dress Collection fashion show

Page 10: Demi Moore and Rumer Willis at the Hollywood Calling photo exhibition, Denise Richards and Mork, Kyle Busch and wife Samantha

Page 12: Jude Law catches a taxi in NYC, Joey Fatone at a Super Bowl event, Gwyneth Paltrow hosted a panel discussion on entrepreneurship

Page 13: Jordan Fisher and Lana Condor and Noah Centineo at the LA premiere of To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You

Page 14: Elizabeth Banks was honored with a parade at Harvard after being named the Hasty Pudding woman of the year, Will Arnett celebrates the final episodes of Bojack Horseman

Page 15: Olivia Culpo on the beach in Miami. Judith Light and Bette Midler film The Politician, Betty Boop and Betsey Johnson at the Red Dress Awards

Page 16: Jay-Z and daughter Blue at the Super Bowl, Renee Zellweger won best actress at the BAFTAs, Christie Brinkley celebrated her 66th birthday

Page 18: Christina Ricci at the release event for Abracashoes, Eva Longoria and son Santiago at a park in LA, Al Pacino running errands in Beverly Hills

Page 19: Beth Stern promoting Kitten Bowl VII, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson and Eminem at 50′s ceremony for getting a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame

Page 20: Normal or Not? Justin Bieber at the premiere of his YouTube series Seasons, Karlie Kloss at the Jean Paul Gaultier fashion show

Page 21: Natalie Portman and daughter Amalia in LA, Billy Porter flossing his teeth, Peter Facinelli supported a street musician in LA

Page 22: Fashion -- Best of the Week -- BAFTA Awards edition -- Vick Hope, Charlize Theron

Page 23: Laura Dern, Ella Balinska

Page 26: Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth’s marriage is hanging by a thread after they’re caught in a public spat

Page 27: Lady Gaga’s new man in Michael Polansky, Blake Lively is in no hurry to lose her baby weight because she loves her bombshell curves and so does husband Ryan Reynolds, Love Bites -- Sienna Miller and Lucas Zwirner engaged, Maury Sterling and Alexis Boozer expecting, Kailyn Lowry and Chris Lopez expecting, Jourdan Dunn engaged to Dion Hamilton, David Beador and Lesley Cook engaged

Page 28: Matt LeBlanc loves his girlfriend Aurora Mulligan but he’s been turned off of marriage, Princess Beatrice’s wedding details, Pamela Anderson and Jon Peters -- what went wrong

Page 29: Pete Davidson is hoping for another chance at romance with Kaia Gerber after his time at rehab, Justin Beiber using the Hillsong Church to control wife Hailey Baldwin -- the church’s anti-feminist doctrine is that women belong in a separate group and should have babies and stay home and let the man be in charge

Page 30: Cover Story -- Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are adopting a baby girl

Page 34: Meghan and Harry Who? With Megxit a done deal Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton are filling the vacuum left by Meghan Markle and Prince Harry and restoring some badly needed luster to the House of Windsor

Page 36: Selfie-Obsessed -- these celebs can’t stop snapping and posting ego-boosting pics -- Snoop Dogg, Kate Beckinsale

Page 37: Kendall Jenner, Paris Hilton, Justin Bieber

Page 38: Kim Kardashian, Derek Hough, Jenna Dewan

Page 39: Alex Rodriguez, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, Vanessa Hudgens

Page 42: Double Takes -- Ellie Goulding vs. Jasmine Sanders

Page 43: Hannah Brown vs. Lucy Hale

Page 44: Style -- chain link jewelry -- Olivia Wilde

Page 48: Entertainment

Page 49: Q&A with Alyson Hannigan

Page 50: Books

Page 60: Parting Shot -- Jennifer Lopez and Shakira at the Super Bown halftime show

#tabloid #tabloid toc #jennifer aniston #brad pitt #shannen doherty #princess beatrice #jeremy renner #eiza gonzalez #Kendall Jenner #prince william #duchess kate #kate middleton

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]

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