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therosefrontier · 2 years

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Whumptober 2022 Day 6

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No. 6 PROOF OF LIFE Ransom Video | “I’ve got a pulse” | Screams from Across the Hall

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Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters: Collei (POV), Tighnari, plus Dottore in the flashbacks

Placement?: Pre-canon backstory, three months after Collei officially joins the Forest Rangers

Word Count: 5908

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It was taking them longer than usual.

Collei couldn’t breathe. She kept sweating and sweating and feeling stinging, roaring pain from all the places they put the needles in. She kept shrinking away from their touch, even though the gesture was useless. When she tried to run, they just dragged her back and strapped her down. If she squirmed, they added more straps.

She was tired. She couldn’t breathe. She…she wanted to leave…she couldn’t…

…

She woke up with her chest on fire.

“It…it worked! I’ve got a pulse! Hey, everyone, I’ve got a pulse!”

Collei retreated quickly into her room and slammed the door behind her. Or…shut the door, rather. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t upset. Well, she maybe was, but not for any good reason. She was just tense, that’s all. Just…

Collei leaned against the doorway, taking slow, deep breaths. She remembered what Cyno told her once, and focused on the sound of her breathing, and then on the sounds of the forest outside—the wind through the trees, the steady roar of the waterfall, the buzz of insects, the low hum of the Gandharva Ville residents talking in the distance. She was fine. Everything was fine. She was free. She wasn’t there.

The memories kept speeding through her mind, and numbly, she wondered if she should process them, or just try again to shove them out of the way. She wished they would just go away on their own. Whenever the dark thoughts came, it was like she was back in that Fatui death lab (or whatever they called it) all over again.

Collei kept focusing on her breathing and wondered what it would take to get her body to stop feeling so tense, as if she just got through running for her life and not just embarrassing herself. Really, that was all that happened—she got jumpy and embarrassed herself. And…maybe worried everyone, too? The problem was, Collei didn’t know what to do about that. She wasn’t even sure what to do with this other newfound information: that maybe, she actually cared a lot about what the Forest Rangers thought of her. And that was a feeling that she hasn’t exactly had in a long, long time.

Three months ago, not long after her return to Sumeru, Collei officially joined the Forest Rangers. Or rather, she was handed over to the Forest Rangers in the manner one would a lost child, which was admittedly an image not far from the truth. It technically wasn’t her first choice. When Collei left Mondstadt, she had decided that she was going to study medicine at the Akademiya. She was going to help people, maybe even help find a cure for Eleazar. It was a nice idea, but, well…she might have not quite thought through the small detail that was her glaring inability to read. She knew a little, and almost let herself believe that she could manage on that. She would just push through and figure it out as she went along. But there was no way she could pass the entrance exam on just a little. Looking at that test, she found that was far more illiterate than she thought. It had just been so long since, well…

Point was, Collei needed some time before she could do that. She needed to get through the basics and catch up on all those years of school she missed. Cyno knew this guy named Tighnari and asked Collei if she’d be interested in being a forest ranger. At first, the idea of roughing it in the forest again after she got through playing survivalist for so long didn’t seem appealing at all, but Collei accepted anyways. She did like the idea of having an actual job, so that she could be independent and not have to rely on everyone else for help while she was working on becoming a student. Instead, she could be the one to help others. She could use the survival skills she knew while also learning things like how to use a bow, as well as everything else about the forest. Tighnari, as brutally blunt as he may be sometimes, was a surprisingly patient teacher. He never made her feel foolish or like a burden for what she didn’t know, even if she felt like she should be feeling that way, especially when it came to things like learning how to read. It was a little embarrassing to be a near-adult having to learn what she should have learned as a small child, but in Master Tighnari’s words, ‘we all start having no knowledge.’ She shouldn’t feel bad about that.

Maybe, it wasn’t all too odd that Collei would feel so attached to this place in such a short period of time, as surprising as it felt. Collei like being a Ranger Trainee; it was rewarding. She felt like she could grow here. She cared about the people here, both the rangers and the villagers they protected. So maybe, it also wasn’t so surprising that she would care about what they thought of her. For a long time, Collei didn’t think that way; she just knew that everyone would shun her for her disease if they weren’t like the Fatui who thought her an attractive test subject because of it, so she just hated them all back. She didn’t stop to wonder if maybe, if she only kept looking, some people might be friendly and kind, even to someone like her. This was why meeting Amber rocked her world so hard. She wasn’t sure if she could ever expect to find a friendship like that again. The least she could ask for is to be in a place she felt safe in, which might also be too much to hope for, and yet, here she was, feeling almost at home again. She was comfortable here, except…

Except she wasn’t. That was the problem. She was the problem. Collei allowed herself to hope; she allowed herself to think that maybe, she would turn over a new leaf. Change her life. Change herself. But she knew that she still had problems that went beyond her actual, physical illness. She was just…jumpy, sometimes. She wasn’t in a crowded environment, but it was still a lot of people here, people who would show up unexpectedly sometimes, make noise when she thought she was in silence, touch her when she didn’t see it coming. No one here has hurt her—although admittedly, she knew it was going to take time to trust them. She couldn’t be sure they wouldn’t betray her in some way, so maybe, that was it. Maybe that was the reason she would get disproportionately scared sometimes, would jump with some knee-jerk reaction to something normal, leading her to have to, every time, laugh it off and just say she was startled, or something.

But not today. She couldn’t laugh it off today.

They were on patrol: her, Tighnari, Nasrin, and Kamran. Their routine inspection had brought them to the remnants of an unidentified camp, which wasn’t far from a newly formed Withering Zone. They were taking time to investigate it, wary of the identity of the camp’s former inhabitants and also concerned potentially for their safety, considering the Withering Zone.

Collei found a too-familiar insignia. She felt her hands grow cold as she picked it up from the dirt and showed it to the others, her expression carefully neutral. It was fine. If this was a Fatui camp before, they weren’t here now. She heard Nasrin ask Tighnari if they should check the Withering Zone but didn’t say anything else to them. She just kept looking. They left things behind. Why did they leave anything behind? It was just…cookware, a strange instrument—no! Just some navigation tools. It was nothing. But were they coming back? The tents were gone and the fire was put out, but they left things behind. Collei had to keep investigating—this was her job. She would just…

She felt a hand touch her shoulder.

“Hey, be careful—"

“GET AWAY FROM ME!”

Collei’s heart pounded in her ears, her breathing turned short and shallow. She whirled around in a heartbeat and gripped tightly the wrist of the person who touched her in vain attempt to keep it at bay…and looked up into the bewildered eyes of Tighnari, who made neither move nor word in return. She stayed that way for far too many seconds. When she let go, the only thing she could see was the red imprint of her hand on Tighnari’s bare left arm.

“I-I’m so sorry!” Collei blurted out all at once, all too aware that Nasrin and Kamran were looking at her too and far too scared to look at them to see what their expressions were like. “You startled me—I mean, it wasn’t your fault, I just, I…I…”

“It’s alright,” Tighnari told her simply, so simply that she had no idea what he meant by that. By the look on his face, maybe he didn’t know what to say either. Maybe he was finally regretting letting her into the rangers at all. “Do you…need to go back? We can all travel back to Gandharva Ville together, and then I can come back to take a look at the Withering Zone to deal with it and see if there’s any signs of human activity there. Still, chances are, the Fatui are long gone by now.”

“N-No, it’s fine, I can go back alone…”

“Absolutely not.” He shook his head. “If there’s any chance of hostile forces nearby, you’d be safer with the group. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to give everyone else an early warning and tell them to keep a lookout. It’ll be fine.”

Collei slunk against the inside of the door, looking out the window to where the day was turning quickly into evening. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She kept having memories, but she couldn’t make them go away. Should she just…go to sleep? But she wasn’t sure if now was a good time. She had a bit of assurance in the knowledge that, as a Sumeran, her dreams would go away once she got older, and that meant her nightmares would go away with them, but that day probably wasn’t today, not yet. She didn’t want to chance it. Besides, she’d feel better about herself if she did something useful.

So, she studied. Collei got out her books and started working on them, trying as hard as she could to let them be the all-consuming distraction she needed them to be. She would think on work and nothing else.

That worked for a while, kind of. She was still tense. She was worried. But maybe not because of the off chance that a few Fatui soldiers were out there. It was a little different than that.

On a whim, Collei went back outside. It was getting dark, by this point. She avoided people and found a spot on a cliff overlooking the waterway below and the Avidya Forest beyond it. She brought her book with her but didn’t open it up right away. Perhaps, just looking out at the forest like this wasn’t as great a distraction as what she had been doing inside, but the sense of wide-open space was calming. And maybe, if she was being honest, she also kind of hoped for exactly what happened a few minutes later.

“Hey, Collei! Is it alright if I join you?”

Collei swiveled her head to the side abruptly to meet the new voice. “M-Master Tighnari! Umm…yes. Yes, that would be fine.”

Tighnari sat down on the grassy cliffside a short distance beside her, and a few brief beats of silence followed. Collei wracked her brain, wondering what she should say, but Tighnari started the talk for her. “We didn’t find anyone, by the way. I got rid of the Withering Zone, but, no human activity. If some Fatui soldier did wander in and get themselves poisoned, well, good riddance to them. Still, we’ll keep on alert.” He paused a short moment, taking in a deep breath. “So. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Collei assured him through a mumble, ashamed that he had to ask her something like that. “I…I’m really sorry, again, for today. I should be asking you if you’re alright after I…”

“Oh!” Tighnari cut her off with a light laugh. “Don’t worry about me. It’s not like you hurt me, or anything like that. Seriously. You did nothing wrong. If anything, I’m the one who should apologize. I startled you unthinkingly, and afterwards, I didn’t know how to react or what to say, to be honest.”

“Yeah…” Collei felt herself sink further into the ground. “But…but what if I did hurt you!? What if I was holding a knife and…and then I…!?”

“Now, now, no need to get into hypotheticals,” Tighnari cut her off with his usual ‘teacher’ tone. “The point still stands regardless—you have nothing to be sorry for. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that.”

“I guess…” Collei conceded, still unsure of herself. She wanted to figure out what the right thing to say was, how to make it up to him, how to prove that she was still capable of being a Forest Ranger…

“I…was also wondering if you would be open to talk about this,” Tighnari spoke up after another short moment of silence, ears twitching as if deep in thought. “You don’t do well with touch, do you?”

What? Oh no, he…he guessed it. This might be bad. “I’m so sorry!” she blurted out yet another apology. “I didn’t mean to—I mean…y-yes,” she conceded, releasing a deep breath while she tried to make sense of her own brain, fighting embarrassment as she did so. “Yes, you’re right, I don’t do well with that. It’s just, when it’s unexpected, I seize up, and my first thought is ‘I have to fight now.’ I want to resist. Not that it ever helped me much,” she recounted bitterly, feeling a cold shiver as just the thought of it brought unwelcome memories flooding back into her brain. Collei wanted to push them away again, to tell them to leave her alone already, but also… “Master Tighnari, how much do you know? About…about what happened?”

“About what happened?” Tighnari echoed, thinking about it for a moment. “Not much. I know about the Black Fire, and the fact that you escaped, and a bit of what happened afterwards in Mondstadt—well, really, I think I just know what Cyno knows.”

Not much, then. Collei didn’t really talk to Cyno about what happened at all, only what she knew about the archon residue and the so-called “Black Fire.” So, only what he needed to know (not that even she herself had much understanding at all about what they did to her). It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Cyno with the rest; she just didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t important, anyways.

And, it still wasn’t important. It’s not like he had to know. She just…she needed to say it. “It was because of the Eleazar,” she started before she could talk herself out of it, before she could even consider whether or not he would care. (No, he does. She knows she can trust him. Right?) “My parents tried every doctor they could, and…that’s what brought them to the seer. Who was part of the Fatui. They just didn’t know.” Sometimes, those thoughts of how it all began brought feelings of anger and betrayal, remembering how her own mother handed her over to that man’s arms and dared to trust him. However, those were also thoughts she didn’t want to dwell on. She didn’t want them to be the ones she was angry at. Especially after she knew her mother tried to get her back and…

“At first, everything seemed normal. They did an examination and then brought me into this room to wait. Another examination happened, and then I had to wait again. This time, it was for hours. But I knew they were there, and I knew this ‘hospital’ had other people too, because I could hear them.”

She startled at the sound of screaming. She looked at the door, curious as to what was wrong, but she stayed put and she waited. She heard another shout a few minutes later. It wasn’t that strange, she thought. She knew that other kids hated doctors and might yell and scream when they got shots. She didn’t, because she had been to the doctor many times. She was used to it.

There was another scream of pain. What were they doing? Was it a shot?

The doorknob turned. Collei wasn’t scared, but she slid back a little on the table anyways.

“Alright, little one!” The doctor smiled, maybe a little too much. “Please hold still, all we need are a few samples…”

“Eventually they showed up, and, um, took grafts of skin.” Collei swallowed thickly. And they were too cheap for anesthetics too, she thought. “Eh, anyways, they moved me after that. I got put in a common room with some other kids with Eleazar. They started trying some injections on us, and a few people died. I think that was about the part when we realized we needed to escape. We were scared. But they caught us easily and put us in chains after that. If any one of us tried to leave, they would chain us all and not feed us for a little while.”

She hated the way they looked at her. She buried her head in her knees and tried her best to disappear. She knew it was wrong to escape. She wasn’t even really trying to; she just panicked during the test, and she started running away. She wasn’t thinking. But now, they were going to have to wear the chains again, and no one was going to get to eat, and it was all her fault.

“Silly child,” the masked not-a-doctor woman had told her with a smile. “Where were you trying to go? You know we only want what’s best for you. We don’t want to have to punish you. But you’re sick. You can’t go outside. Look at your skin! Nobody likes to see that. You’ll be much safer in here.”

“Eh, that’s all just…details, though.” Collei shook her head. “It’s actually a bit of boring tale from there, really. We were there for years. After the beginning, we could go many weeks without having to do any tests; they would just be waiting to see the effects of whatever they injected into us last, I think. Sometimes, especially when we were older, they would put us to work, but regardless, it was also so…dull, just waiting. But we always dreaded the tests more. If one of us got taken and was gone for a while, we would stay quiet and listen. If we heard screams or groans, we knew they were still alive, so it was actually a big relief, sometimes. That is, unless we were just too tired, or, unless they decided to gag us. Which, uh…which is what they did with me, the day they put Black Fire inside.”

She couldn’t stand it, this time. Whatever they were putting in there burned beneath her skin, like it was eating her alive. It twisted and writhed in her chest and she writhed with it. She screamed so much they had to add a gag to keep the noise down. They strapped her more tightly to the table than they ever did before, so that she couldn’t move even a bit.

“I really don’t know what they did,” she recounted with a bitter laugh. “I told Cyno already—they put so much in me over that time, I stopped keeping track. This time was definitely different from the others, but I couldn’t exactly see what they were doing, regardless. I know they injected both arms repeatedly. I also think that this same thing killed some of the others. We had been fine for a while, but then, one after another, three of us died, just like that. Actually, I think I might have briefly died, too.”

“It…it worked! I’ve got a pulse! Hey, everyone, I’ve got a pulse!”

Collei’s eyes shot open, and she found that her vision was black. Her chest was on fire—there was a burning, writhing sensation under her skin—in her fingers, in her toes. She gasped for air as if she had just been trapped underwater and couldn’t get out.

They started touching her, doing something quickly, but she couldn’t see them. She twisted away, tried for air—the gag was still there, and now she was choking on it—she needed them to leave her alone, she needed air, she wanted them away from her—

She twisted, and two of the straps snapped apart with a loud crack like a whiplash. Her black vision mixed with red. She heard screams of pain, but they weren’t hers. They weren’t the other kids’, either. She had memorized all of those.

“I remember passing out, and then later, when I woke up, there was someone shouting, ‘I’ve got a pulse!’ He sounded so happy about it, too, like he had tried so hard to bring me back to life.” She shook her head with another rueful smile. “I hated it. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t even be happy about being alive. Not that I was really thinking coherently all that much.”

She came awake a second time, this time free of that table, although she was still in the same room, and she still wasn’t free. Instead, she was in a chair with heavy chains on her ankles and wrists, with The Doctor himself in front of her.

“Well, look who’s awake! Feeling refreshed?” Dottore spoke with a wide smile, as if barely constraining his excitement. There were blood and guts heavily splattered about the wall behind him, but he didn’t appear to care.

Collei breathed many short, shallow breaths. The gag was gone. She felt wet with blood, but she didn’t think it was hers. She felt like she should say something. The pain wasn’t as loud anymore, but there was still…something there…

“The residue took quite nicely, wouldn’t you agree? I believe we’re going to have quite the…productive relationship, from here on out.”

“The Doctor, Il Dottore, was there that day too,” she admitted. “We all knew he was the boss, but we didn’t see him come there personally all that often. But that experiment was led by him, all the way.” She drew up her knees to her chest, feeling the phantom sensation of writhing and burning from when Black Fire was fusing itself with her, and from all the time she felt its presence afterwards, and all those times her own anger brought that crawling sensation back in full force, as it whispered in her ear, reminding her how weak she was, coaxing her to set it free so it could enact vengeance on the world in her stead.

“Excellent,” Dottore expressed his satisfaction with a smug grin. Collei could barely see him clearly; she was collapsed on the ground now, unable to move, out of breath. The experiments had gotten harder, ever since she became their success. They wanted to know her limits—Black Fire’s limits.

“But,” Dottore spoke with an impatient sound, “she really needs to last a little longer.” He kicked her a little in the stomach as if unsatisfied with the sight of her corpse. “I don’t have time to wait around. Get her back up; I have one more experiment. And don’t you dare disappoint me with meager results.”

Collei didn’t want to. She longed just to stay where she was. Or to rip out the Doctor’s throat.

You can do it, you know. With me, you’ll be stronger. I’ll help you kill him, just wait~

One of the other Fatui hauled her up by the armpits. She took only a few steps before collapsing again.

“Ugh, get up, brat! Didn’t you hear the Doctor!?”

He stabbed her in the back with a cattle prod.

“They…did many more experiments, after that,” was all she said, stilling looking down at the ground. She pulled at the grass with her fingers. “But eventually, we escaped. All seven of us that were left. We decided to do it together.” And I used their power to help us do it, she didn’t say. Even now, she hated to admit that they were the ones who made her stronger. She also hated it that, deep down inside in the darkest part of her heart, she sometimes missed it. She knew it was poison to her. She knew it made her sick and tore her body apart just like the Eleazar did. But even with all of that, it did make her strong. It made her not helpless anymore. It was all she had. She wasn’t blessed by the gods; she had no Vision, nor did she have a body that could function in the most basic of ways. Still, she assured herself that she was fine without it; she got exactly what she wanted, and she would beg anyone for power ever again. Not the gods, not the Fatui, not anybody. She would learn to be okay as she was.

“All of you?” Tighnari echoed, his first words since the start of Collei’s story quiet and thoughtful in a way that was hard to read.

“Yes?” Collei wondered what he meant, until she remembered. Nobody knew that part. “Oh! Y-yeah.” She nodded her head rapidly, holding back emotion at the thought. “We did. We got out of there, and we made it to the forest. Um, not around here, though. We avoided people entirely. Mostly, we stayed in the Ashavan Realm, near the ruins. We just stayed there and survived together, for a while.” She paused for a moment to intake a breath. “I’m the only one left. Everyone else died there, one by one. The Eleazar got them, or the monsters, or a combination of both, really. We were just too weak.” She remembered that day, running from a monster with the last of them, when he pushed her off from that ledge so he could escape, only to be sliced into pieces by that Ruin machine mere minutes later. She remembered wondering, then, were they ever truly a team? Did she ever truly know them? Were they even capable of being friends? And wouldn’t she have done the same thing he did, if she were in his place?

“So, I wandered alone after that.” Bitter, hateful, feeling the sting of betrayal far too deeply. “I went to Sumeru City, but the guards at the gate balked at the sight of me, and they wouldn’t answer my questions when I tried to ask about my mom and dad. It was only just recently from Cyno that I found out what happened to them: my mom disappeared without a trace, and my father died just a few years after that. But anyways, I left Sumeru sometime after that, didn’t have any luck with the other towns I ran into, and then, I came to Mondstadt. You know what happened from there.”

“Please kill me,” she told the Cavalry Captain, realizing that this, finally, might be her chance to right the wrong done when that Fatui doctor revived her back then. Her survival was what they wanted, and she wanted nothing that they wanted. Why was she still struggling? She knew what she was. She knew what she did. She really did kill those people, just like he said. She really was a monster.

There was another short moment of silence. Collei felt a sense of relief, even if it came with another burden, one connected to the knowledge that after all this time, she was free, but still, she wasn’t complete. “That was…a lot to say all at once,” she observed. “Like I said, it’s not actually that exciting, but it kind of helps me explain…why I don’t think I’m fit to be a Forest Ranger, after all.”

Collei dared to look at Tighnari now, wondering his thoughts on all of this, but whatever he might have been thinking before was replaced by a befuddled expression and a raised eyebrow. “Not ‘fit’? Why would you say that?”

“W-Well, because!” Wasn’t it obvious? “It’s not just the Eleazar! It’s what you said earlier! I react badly when people touch me. I’m skittish and nervous. I should be strong, but I’m not. I know where I am, but sometimes, when certain things happen, it’s like I’m back there all over again! I can’t think straight!”

“Collei,” Tighnari spoke to her steadily, “I would think that is hardly disqualifying.”

“But isn’t it? And, well, there is also the Eleazar. Because of it, I’m too weak to be trusted to handle things. I can’t hold anything without some chance of dropping it without warning. I can’t do my duties to the fullest if I have a flare-up. I just…I…” She shook her head, feeling some sense of resolve kick back in, but not in the way she hoped it would go. “What I mean is, thank you, Master Tighnari. For everything. These three months have been some of the best in my life, and I’m so grateful for everything you and the rangers have done to help. However, I’m realizing, you were right to have your doubts, back when Cyno first brought me here. You really don’t have any reason to have to deal with me. I just…”

“Alright, now hold on,” Tighnari stopped her short, taking a deep breath as he did so as if trying to clear his head. “First of all, let me apologize for any doubts our first meeting caused for you. Yes, I was surprised then, but I can assure that I do not think that way now. You’re a fast learner, and you are very capable—no, no, that’s not even the most important thing. You’re willing to learn. And I believe, whole-heartedly, that you do have what it takes to get to where you want to go in your studies. Collei, I understand this is frustrating for you, but…” He paused, face scrunched and ears twitching as if searching for the right words. “It’s alright to have limits,” he decided. “Yes, the Eleazar will be a limiter, and yes, I’m not going to let you push yourself too far by any means, but think about it. Does that really make you ‘not a Forest Ranger’? Or even any less of a Forest Ranger? Of course not. If you still wish to be a part of this team, there is a place for you here. I guarantee it.”

Collei found herself speechless for a second, letting the words sink in. “You…really mean that?”

“Of course I do,” Tighnari assured. “And…with the other thing…” He stopped to take another deep breath, thinking about it again. “Thank you. For trusting me with your story,” he spoke in simple sincerity. “I’m not going to pretend that I understand everything that you feel. I may never truly understand what that was like. But, I will say that I don’t think you should expect healing to happen overnight, and that’s okay. Again, I am sorry about today. For here on, you have my word that I will never lay a finger on you in any way without your permission unless the situation is dangerous enough to demand it. I will respect that boundary, and I will make sure that the other rangers do the same.”

“It’s…not that bad,” Collei backtracked a little. “It’s really just a problem when it’s unexpected, and I don’t see what’s coming. And also, I, uh, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m ready to tell all the other Forest Rangers about…everything. I’m sorry.” She just didn’t know them as well. It was different with everyone else than it was with Tighnari. She was mortified at the very thought of having to…

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Tighnari clarified. “Please, let me be clear, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You can give your request without it. As I said before, I’m thankful for your trust, but even so, I want you to know that you don’t owe me anything either, until you’re ready. I know you have a lot more on your mind. Also, you have my word that I won’t tell anyone else about what you just said until you’re ready for them to know. Not even to Cyno. Hmph, and if anyone notices that I’m more violent with the Fatui than I used to be, I’ll just tell them that I really don’t like them and leave it at that.”

The last part elicited a small half-laugh from Collei. She nodded. “I…I see what you mean. Thank you.”

“And also, for what’s worth,” Tighnari’s tone turned serious again, and also much sadder, “I’m sorry. About what happened. I’m…sorry that no one was there to help you sooner.”

“It’s alright.” Collei wasn’t quite sure how to take that. “It’s not like there’s anything you could have done. And I don’t need your pity, either. Really.”

“And I’m not giving it,” Tighnari assured without missing a beat, and from him, Collei knew that he meant it. “Far be it from me to keep you in that place by reminding you about how awful it was. I know you as you are now, and right now? You’re a Trainee Forest Ranger, and it is my job as your mentor to bring you to your fullest potential, and that potential, I assure you, is quite high. Collei, just remember, it’s your choice. Choose where you want to be, and don’t decide it on some ill-conceived notion of what you can or can’t do or because of where you came from.” He looked straight into her eyes now, gaze boring into hers as if everything hinged on her understanding. “Remember this with the Fatui—you don’t belong to them. You never have, and you never will. I don’t care how much time they stole from you. Well, I do care that they dared to do that, but my point is, you can start over. You are no one’s slave. Can you remember that?”

“Y-Yeah,” Collei stuttered, feeling stunned, and also feeling her eyes grow wet as all her emotions threatened to spill out all at once. Then, she smiled, because she knew. She knew exactly where she wanted to be, didn’t she? “Thank you,” she spoke in between a cry and a laugh. “In that case, I…I want to stick around, if you’ll have me.”

“Hey, what did I just get through saying? Yes. I will.” He smiled. “We’re honored to be a part of your journey, Collei. I’ll teach you everything I know that you want to know, starting with reading, for as long as you decide to stay here. And that’s a promise.”

#whumptober2022 #no.6 #i've got a pulse #screams across the hall #fandom #fic #human experimentation #referenced child death #genshin impact #Collei #Tighnari #best plant dad Tighnari #hurt/comfort #ptsd #talking it through #getting collei the comfort she needs #and also tempting tighnari to go murder dottore now #which is not the best plan #but it is quite tempting

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