#tattered letters [asks]

[yandere-writer-momo]

No one asked but I’ve decided to post one of my favorite original smut works!

Yandere Short Story: Insatiable

Yandere monster x Afab reader x Yandere ex fiancé

Minors DNI

8.4k words

 “Cedric?” A tall, dark haired man glanced up from his paper work to see his small wife at the door. His red eyes gazing at her coldly. “Oh, sorry… my lord. You didn’t reply to any of my letters so I decided to come see you myself. I was wondering if you had time to-“

    “I’m busy with work. How about you go take a walk or something seeing that you’re not busy with anything.” Cedric replied coldly, causing the young woman to glance sadly at her hands.

    “Oh… I’m sorry-“

    “Stop with your needless apologies and shut my door. You’re letting the cold air in.” Cedric hissed before returning to his mountain of paper work.

    “Good bye, my lord.” (Your name) softly whispered, a sad look in her eye. The young woman shutting the door before looking at the small, cloth bag beside her. Its contents being one change of clothes, a pouch of water, and some bread.

    (Your name) had finally decided to leave him. Her feelings for him had gradually disappeared over the years of being engaged to him seeing that he couldn’t even return a fraction of what she felt for him. It was time for her  to leave this loveless, joyless place and to go live as a commoner. Hopefully Cedric would eventually read the letter she had sent him a few days ago about annulling their marriage.

    The young woman pulled her tattered cloak over her head, making her way down the manor’s steps with ease.

   Not a single servant paying her any mind. A smile made its way to her lips at the thought of finally no longer having to sit in her cold room up in the tower. How she’d be able to travel wherever she wanted and maybe she’d even find someone to love her eventually. How she could finally have friends that didn’t need her husband to pay them to talk to her.

     (Your name) soon stood outside the gloomy palace, a smile on her lips. The young woman giving the palace one last look before she headed into the forest.

     “Good bye. I won’t miss you.”  She then headed into the dark silent forest. Set on leaving the Southern empire forever.

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    “This tea is bland and terrible.” Cedric complained to his maid who began to sweat nervously. “Why isn’t it here on its usual time and why isn’t it its normal flavor?”

    “Ah… the duchess usually takes care of that…” the maid replied before giving the lord a bow. “None of us have seen her in awhile so we had to brew some older leaves.”

    Cedric sighed before rising from his chair, causing the maid to gulp at how large he was.

    “That stupid woman. I’ll go see what she’s up to now then I guess.” Cedric made his way towards the east end of the manor, climbing up the flight of stairs to (your name)’s room. 

    A frown forming on his face when he didn’t see a single servant on this side of the manor. Where were all the servants? Shouldn’t she have some around here to clean it?

    Cedric stood before the door at the top of the tower. His hand pressing against the old wood. A frown on his face.

    “My lady. Can you open the door?” No response.

   “My lady?” Cedric pressed his knuckle against the door, causing the door to squeal open. Red eyes widening in shock at the tattered blanket that sat on top of a pile of hay. This couldn’t be her room…

   Where was her bed? Her dresses? Cedric burst into the room examining everything in disbelief. 

    “Can I lay with you, Cedric? It’s starting to get cold?” 

    Cedric frowned at the memory. (Your name) really was cold wasn’t she? And he always turned her away…

  A small desk with letters littering the top of it caught his attention. Was this the only thing she had in her room? As a duchess, she only had this small desk? 

    Red eyes narrowed at all the letters that were dated and addressed to him. Cedric quickly opened one of the older letters his eyes softening at its contents.

     ‘I finally was able to get the maids to teach me how to make that chamomile tea you like so much. I hope we’ll be able to drink it together someday. When you’re not busy of course. I love you, Cedric.’

    Cedric opened another letter, a dried sprig of baby’s breath falling out of the envelop. His pale fingers picking it up with utmost care. Red eyes scanning over the delicate hand writing.

    ‘Did you know baby’s breath means everlasting love? Isn’t that neat? I hope that our love is ever lasting as well. I’d like to go on a picnic with you while it’s still spring. If you’re not busy of course. I love you, Cedric.’

    ‘Today, I saw a pair of swans in the pond in the garden. Did you know swans stay together for life? I read that in a book in the library. I thought it was pretty neat. Maybe it’s childish of me to think that way, but I hope we’ll be like that. I love you, Cedric.’

    Cedric continued to tear apart the letters with fervor. Sweat dripping down his neck as his hands began to shake. All of these letters and he’s never read any of them from her… he always returned them back to her… always ignored her… he was starting to get scared…

     ‘It’s getting colder up in the tower but the maids took my bed. They said they’re freezing too. Is there anyway I could also have some new blankets. I hope that’s not too much of a bother for you. Thank you. I love you, Cedric.’

   ‘I’ve been sleeping in the library over the winter. I hope that doesn’t interfere with your work. I heard there’s a ball upcoming in the neighboring empire. I’ve never been to a ball before. Is there anyway we could go? I’d really like a new dress. The one I had all these years is starting to get a little loose since we’re so scarce on food. Thank you. I love you, Cedric.’

    There was no scarcity in food. Who on earth hadn’t the servants been feeding her? Who took her bed? Her blankets?

     Cedric sorted through the letters until the last one stuck out to him.

   His pale hand opened the letter, his eyes widening in shock. She had filled out divorce papers… why would she do that?

     ‘I don’t think you’re ever going to read this until you’ve realized I left. But I want a divorce. I can’t live like this. It’s so cold and miserable here. No one talks to me here. I found out that the only acquaintance I had here, you were paying to talk to me so I wouldn’t bother you… and I was really hurt by that. If I’m really that awful to be with, I’ll go. I just want you to be happy, Cedric. Even if it’s not with me. So good bye, Cedric. If you try to have a conversation with me in a few days I may reconsider but if not, you’ll find this then. I’ll probably be halfway through the forest by then. Good bye, Cedric.’

    Cedric began to shake. She had stopped by his office and he had turned her away… he unknowingly sent her away… he sent his loving wife away in the wild… wait.

     Didn’t she know the forest was infested with monsters?

     “Guards! Hurry. Send a search party to the forest, now!” Cedric threw the letter to the side, screaming on the top of his lungs. His legs running as fast as he could down the steps and through the palace.

     The guards rising up in shock before quickly springing into action.  

     “The duchess has gone missing! She could be in danger!” Cedric shouted, the Duke running to grab his sword and horse. “We have to find her by all means necessary!”

    Cedric frowned as he glanced at the dark forest. His eyebrows furrowed in worry. He prayed she was safe. He was so lucky he noticed her absence in just a day…

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    (Your name) hummed as she walked through the forest without a care in the world. So far, she’s been lucky and she hasn’t ran into a single monster.

    She knew there was a possibility she could run into danger but she truly believed the monsters wouldn’t bother her if she didn’t have a weapon on her. Plus, there wasn’t much meat on her bones since she wasn’t being fed at the palace.

     “Don’t you know there’s monsters in the woods?” A voice hissed at (your name), causing the girl to glance at a tall man wearing silver armor with an unfamiliar, blue crest on it. The silver helmet completely covering his face.

    Well at this point in her journey, she’s going to disregard the stranger danger rule.

    “Oh I know. I’m just passing through is all.”

    “Either you’re a very brave woman or a very stupid one.” A laugh left her throat as she smiled at the stranger.

    “A little of both. I’m just going anywhere to start a new.” The girl smiled at the knight before continuing her way.

    “Wait up!” The male trudged after her, standing above her. “You can’t just go walking in the forest by yourself. What if you get kidnapped or killed-“

    “Then I get kidnapped or killed.” The knight held in a laugh before offering her an arm.

    “I can lead you out of the forest if you’d like. My name is Etrian by the way.”

     “That’s a nice name.” (Your name) replied, taking the knights arm. “You can just call me (your first name).”

    “Hmm. You have a pretty name.” Etrian smiled at the girl, causing her to furrow her brow.

    “It’s a very basic name. It’s not even worth remembering so you can call me anything you’d like.” Etrian tilted his helmet down in worry at her words. Wherever she came from, she more than likely never was treated with kindness.

   “I like your name so I’ll call you, (your name).” Etrian replied, causing (your name) to giggle. 

    “It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed… thank you, Etrian.” Etrian gave (your name)’s hand a comforting squeeze.

     “I was on my way to the Lancaster Palace but I think a damsel in distress is much more important at the moment.” Etrian puffed his chest out, causing (your name) to erupt in giggles again.

    “Maybe I should call you the brave one then for traveling alone, Etrian.” (Your name) gave Etrian a smile, the male shaking his head in embarrassment.

    “It’s a knight’s duty.” 

   (Your name) laughed some more, allowing Etrian to lead her through the forest. Their playful banter continuing. 

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      Cedric searched the woods with fervor. Easily slaying any monster that crossed paths with them.

     “My lord. We found the body of the Northern empire’s diplomat and his party but…”

    “But what? Did you find the Duchess?!” Cedric hissed, his red eyes coldly looking at the corpses of the northern empire’s men. But one was missing their armor.

    “Where’s his armor?”

    “That’s what I’m afraid of. It appears a monster may be parading around as a knight.” Cedric sighed before glancing nervously in the forest. He really hoped (your name) didn’t run into that monster…

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    “Etrian. Do you like being a knight?” (Your name) asked her companion who hummed in response.

    “Not really. It’s kind of boring actually.” Etrian responded, his eyes glancing at (your name). “Especially listening to a lord’s orders all the time and standing guard? It sucks.”

    (Your name) laughed at his response. “At least you’re honest, Etrian.”

    “What about you, (your name)? What were you?”

    (Your name) smiled sadly as she glanced at the forest floor, causing Etrian to raise his hands up in alarm.

    “Oh I didn’t mean to upset you-“

    “I was nothing.” (Your name) replied with a solemn look in her eye. “Have you ever felt like that before? Like nothing? My existence didn’t matter where I came from before and after I ended up here.”

   Etrian placed a gentle, leather gloved hand on (your name)’s arm. “No I understand completely.”

    “Thanks, Etrian. You’re really nice even though I think you’re really strange.”

    “How am I strange?”

    “You abandoned the task at hand for me, which is very suspicious. But I appreciate you traveling and talking with me… I can’t remember the last time I actually had a conversation with someone.”

   Etrian gave her a nod, trying his best not to have his helmet fall off his head.

   “Isn’t that helmet uncomfortable? You could always take it off.” Etrian held up his hands as he began to laugh.

    “Maybe once we make it out of the forest.” 

    “Alright. Keep your secrets then.” (Your name) giggled, Etrian watched her walk a little further a head. A black tentacle creeping out from the helmet before quickly slipping back in.

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     Cedric continued searching, a smile on his face once he saw a pair of footprints.

    “She went this way!” Cedric shouted to his men. The men all nodding their heads before following the tracks. “She can’t be far-“

    Cedric’s red eyes widened when he saw a second pair of footprints beside hers. Their tracks barely as visible as hers.

    “The monster is with her!” Cedric began to breath heavily, his hands shaking as he held the reigns to his horse tightly. He was going to find her. Cedric just prayed nothing happened to her.

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    “Etrian. You’re really light on your toes.” (Your name) stated, causing Etrian to laugh. “Do you like sneaking around?” 

     “It’s just an unconscious habit of mine-“ an arrow whizzed by Etrian’s head, causing a scream to leave (your name)’s throat. 

    “Jesus-“

    “My lady, step away from the monster!” one of the knights from the southern empire shouted, pointing his bow and arrow at Etrian.

    “Monster? That’s Etrian-“ (your name) replied, only for more knights to show up.

    “One of the knight’s armor was missing at the carriage accident up ahead-“ 

    “I can actually explain that.” Etrian replied as he grasped the helmet of his armor before pulling it off. Revealing a handsome man with long silver hair and blue eyes to all the knights. “It’s me. Duke Graham.”

     “Duke Graham?! I can’t believe it’s you!” One of the knights laughed, the others all releasing their breath that they were unconsciously holding. “You were the only one missing from the carriage.”

    (Your name)’s eyes widened in horror. While everyone else saw a handsome man, she saw a giant black octopus like creature as the head of the knight. Her body started convulsing in shivers. 

     “Are you alright, (your name)?” Etrian asked with worry laced in his voice, reaching a hand out to her. The tentacles moving in every which way, causing (your name) to hyperventilate and take a step back in fear.

    “(Your name)!” Cedric rushed over to her, quickly separating her from the monstrous Duke. Cedric quickly dismounting his horse to hold (your name). “I’m so sorry. Please don’t run off again.”

    (Your name) didn’t return Cedric’s hug, her eyes focused on the black octopus monster that was known as Etrian. 

     “Let’s head back home, okay? And Duke Graham. You can ride on one of the other horses we have here with one of the knights. My wife will ride with me.” Cedric stated, hoisting (your name) up on his horse. 

   (Your name) cast one last look at Etrian, the tentacles waving at her which on caused her to tear up even more.

     While with the guards, they only saw Etrian give (your name) a warm smile and a wave. Why was she so scared of him? It wasn’t like she was seeing a monster.

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    “Why did you try to run off into the forest?” Cedric asked (your name) who sat in the sofa in his office with a blanket tightly wrapped around her. “You could’ve died-“

     “It would’ve been better than being here.” (Your name) muttered, pulling the soft blanket closer to herself. “Anything is better than here.”

    Cedric stood up from his desk, sitting himself beside (your name).

    “I’m going to start being a better husband. I moved your room to be next to mine now and you have a bed again. I also am currently working on investigating all of the staff that has mistreated you. They’re going to have their hands cut off for stealing and then exiled-“

     “That’s alright. You don’t have to do any of those things.” (Your name) sighed, wrapping the blanket around her even tighter. “I would like to head to my room. I’m quite tired.”

     Cedric held a hand out for (your name) to take, which she ignored. The young woman choosing to stand up with her blanket securely wrapped around her.

    “Would you like to have dinner together then?”

    “No. Just send it to my room please. It’s kind of late for all of those things, don’t you think?” (Your name) asked, avoiding eye contact with Cedric. 

     “I… I’ll try more. Just please don’t run off like that again.” 

   (Your name) opened the door to her room before shutting it quickly. The duchess laying down on the bed in defeat. She really was wishing she would’ve left this place.

     It was a shame Cedric had no intention of letting her go. Not to mention that Etrian was also staying with them for the time being.

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    Etrian sat in Cedric’s office sipping some hot tea. Blue eyes meeting red orbs.

      “Thanks for keeping my wife safe-“

    “Why did she run off?” Etrian hummed, causing  Cedric to glare at him.

    “It’s none of your concern, Duke Graham.” Cedric hissed, causing Etrian to smile. Cedric narrowed his eyes at the doll like man. 

    “She’s really pretty.” Etrian smiled at the peeved expression on Cedric’s face.

    “What brings you to the Southern Empire?” Cedric gritted his teeth at Etrian who only gave him a hum.

    “Mostly for trading business but seeing that my men were mauled to death and looted by your monster infested forest, I’ll have to wait awhile till we can proceed in business. I may have to stay here awhile as well.”

     Cedric sighed in defeat. His red eyes narrowing at Etrian. This was probably the most Etrian has spoken to Cedric in their entire life so far… and it irked Cedric.

    “Alright. I can let you stay for awhile. Just please don’t cause any trouble for me.”

    “I won’t.” Etrian smiled, causing  Cedric to place a hand on his temple. 

    “I’ll have the maids organize a room for you.”

    Etrian beamed at Cedric, his blue orbs shining mischievously. He couldn’t wait to see (your name) again.

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   Etrian wandered the halls, ignoring the excited whispers of the maids when he passed by. The silver haired man had adjusted well to the staff’s ramblings of his appearance.

    “Isn’t Duke Graham really handsome?” One of the maids asked another, causing the other maid to nod in agreement.

    “Just like a porcelain doll.” 

    “I heard he’s unmarried.”

    Etrian made his way over to the library, his blue eyes widening once he saw (your name) sitting in a chair in the far back corner. Her focus completely on the book in front of her.

    “Ah. (Your name).” Etrian smiled at the duchess, who gave him a nervous glance. Her eyes completely avoiding eye contact with him. “May I sit with you?”

    “S-sure.” Etrian pulled out the chair beside (your name), the wooden legs squealing across the floor. 

    “What are you reading?” Etrian asked, causing (your name) to nervously glance up from her book.

    “Oh it’s just a fairy tale story…” (your name) shyly replied causing Etrian to furrow his brow.

     “I’m quite fond of fairy tales. Which one is it?”

    “Beauty and the beast...” 

    “That’s my favorite one.” Etrian smiled, his tentacles flailing around excitedly, much to (your name)’s fear. “My mother used to read it to me all the time as a child.”

    “That’s really nice.” Etrian tentacles suddenly laid flat on the table, one of them laying on (your name)’s shoulder as if to show that he was concerned for her.

    “What’s wrong? You haven’t really looked at me since the forest.” (Your name) gulped, her hands trembling when the tentacles began to slowly caress her body. 

     “I… I’ve just never seen anyone that looks like you is all…” (your name) replied honestly. She wasn’t wrong. She’s never seen someone with a black octopus like head before and she was terrified. 

    “Oh… is my appearance not to your liking-“

   “My lady. The lord is looking for you.” The butler interrupted her and Etrian’s conversation, the young woman quickly rising up to her feet.

    “Ah. Sorry, Etrian. I have to get going.” 

    Etrian clutched his chest, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Could she really see him for what he truly was? 

   Etrian glanced at the book she was reading in awe. Was their story going to be just like beauty and the beast? Pure ecstasy consuming him.

     She had to be just like his dad. His mom always told him his soul mate would be able to see his true form just like dad could see hers. 

    “(Your name)…” Etrian couldn’t wait to find out.

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    “You called for me, my lord?” (Your name) bowed her head to Etrian, who frowned at her formality.

    “I did call for you, (your name).” Cedric motioned for his butler to go bring some tea for the two of them. “I’d like to have some tea with you-“

    “I’m not very fond of tea.” (Your name) wrapped her arms around herself, ignoring the disappointed look on Cedric’s face. “But thank you for the invite.”

    “How about a walk in the garden? You love the garden.” Cedric asked, a hopeful tune in his voice. (Your name) frowned. Didn’t he acknowledge that she had sent him divorce papers? Why on earth was he trying to court her now, of all times? 

    “Alright…” Cedric held out an arm for her, which (your name) hesitantly took. The dark haired Duke leading her down the halls and towards the garden.

    A certain silver haired man watching them from the library’s window. His blue eyes studying the discomfort on (your name)’s face.

    “You’re not comfortable around that man are you, (your name)?” Etrian softly whispered to himself, his blue eyes memorizing her soft features on her pretty face. “I wonder if I can make you smile again…”

    Etrian’s shadow revealed his tentacles flailing about in excitement. The birds that sat near the window quickly flying away in fear of the monster that was in the palace.

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    It was a stiff silence between Cedric and (your name). The two walking side by side in the garden without muttering a word to each other.

    “There’s some swans in the pond, (your name)…” Cedric smiled, softly breaking the silence. His red eyes glancing at her face, his eyes lighting up when he saw her smile at the swan pair. 

    He had finally found something that seemed to make her smile… Cedric was starting to get really worried about saving their relationship, especially with someone like Etrian in their home. Cedric had to admit that he was jealous of how beautiful Etrian was but he felt that there was something incredibly off about the silver haired male. Even when they were children, he was almost completely emotionless but he wasn’t that way around (your name)… it was very unsettling to Cedric.

    “(Your name), do you like Etrian?” (Your name) froze, her eyes wide at Cedric’s question.

    “I wouldn’t say like or dislike… I’m…” Afraid. (Your name) thought to herself. I’m afraid of him. “Indifferent towards him. He’s a Duke from the northern empire so I have to be respectful to him is all.”

     Cedric hummed, the Duke satisfied with her answer. His wife was a very respectful young lady, he didn’t doubt her answer at all.

   (Your name) narrowed her eyes at Cedric. Cedric couldn’t be jealous, could he? It wasn’t his place after years of being together without him ever caring about her personal life or feelings. 

     “It’s cold. I’m ready to head back inside.” The couple made their way back in, unaware that Etrian had overheard their conversation. 

     The silver haired man determined to have (your name) change her mind about him.

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     Etrian had found out many things about (your name) over the last few weeks he’s been staying in the Lancaster’s palace. 

    (Your name) used to live in a tower here, she didn’t like tea, she liked to write and read, her favorite food was (favorite food), she liked to eat pudding sometimes as well, her favorite color was (favorite color), and she was almost always alone.  Just like Etrian usually was.

     Etrian was thrilled to be finding out all this information from the maids who were more than thrilled to talk to him. The Duke was especially happy that one of the maids had even slipped up and told him that (your name) was trying to divorce the Duke. It made Etrian’s heart soar at the thought of (your name) being on the market for marriage.

   It wasn’t very hard for him to bribe one of the maids into sending that paper work to the emperor either. Which would make his end goal even easier to achieve.

     Etrian peaked his head in the library, a smile on his face when he saw (your name) sitting in a chair, sketching some birds that sat in the window. He’d have to add drawing to his mental list of her hobbies.

     “Hello, (your name).” (Your name) nearly jumped out of her shoes when Etrian snuck up behind her. One of his tentacles affectionately caressing her cheeks, something she tried to ignore.

     “H-hi, Etrian.” (Your name) responded quietly. Placing her pencil down on the table.

     “I haven’t seen you in a minute. I missed seeing you around.” (Your name) tried to hold her tears in when his tentacles slowly began to wrap around her body, caressing her affectionately. 

     Over the course of Etrian’s stay, she’s noticed that his tentacles tend to tell his emotions. She could tell when he was excited, upset, annoyed, happy, or even sad. And the tentacles were especially fond of her, touching her any chance they got, much to her displeasure.

     “I’ve been around. I’ve just been spending a lot of time with my husband is all.” (Your name) tried not to flinch when she saw the tentacles suddenly point at her like swords. It’s seems she upset Etrian by mentioning Cedric. “I didn’t mean to neglect you.” 

     The tentacles instantly relaxed, going back to their idle position of affectionately caressing her.

    “How about you draw me?” Etrian asked, a soft smile on his lips. He really wanted to know how (your name) saw him. 

    (Your name) smiled, opening a new page to her sketchbook, her body shaking when Etrian took a seat in front of her. The black tentacles retracting into themselves, as if they too, were folding together like his black gloved hands on the table.

     (Your name) shakily got to work. Tears gathering in her eyes as she continued sketching the monster she saw in front of her.

     Etrian frowned at her nervous expression. Why was she so nervous? Didn’t she understand that they were soulmates because she could see him?

     (Your name) glanced up, her face going pale when she saw two tentacles directly pointed at her eyes. The tentacles opening up to reveal two icy blue eyes staring directly at her. 

    Etrian smiled brightly. She finally made eye contact with him-

     A lord thump was heard, (your name) had fallen out of her chair. Etrian quickly rose up, his hand grasping (your name)’s shoulders, helping her up. 

    “Are you alright, (your name)?” His eyes widened at the drawing that she had made so far. A dark octopus like head sat on top of his body, a deranged smile crawling on Etrian’s lips. He was so excited. She could see him.

     “I-I’m sorry, Etrian. I… I need to go.” (Your name) stuttered out before she grabbed her book. “I’ll see you around!”

     Etrian could only watch as she took off, his blue eyes glancing at the pencil she had dropped in excitement.

     She could see him… she could see him. The real him. The monstrous curse his mother and him both had. 

    Etrian picked up the discarded pencil, blue eyes glancing around the library, making sure no one was watching him. 

      Etrian then placed the pencil in his mouth, suckling on the wooden utensil as his eyes rolled back in his head. Etrian wondered how her fingers would taste in his mouth when he- 

     Oh he was getting a little too far ahead of himself. He needed to calm down a bit before revealing his insatiable lust for her.

      A very disturbed Cedric stood outside of the library. Why in the world was Etrian eating a pencil?

    The dark haired Duke now more determined than ever to keep Etrian away from his wife. By all means necessary. 

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     (Your name) laid in her bed. Her form covered in a lightweight, white gown.  It was a little chilly at night, but nothing she couldn’t manage. It was the feeling of eyes on her that she couldn’t shake off. 

    (Your name) slowly rose from the bed, shutting the curtain to her balcony. The feeling still not leaving her. Perhaps she was being paranoid after the library incident.

     (Your name) made her way back to bed, the duchess pulling as many blankets as she could on top of herself. Maybe if she went to sleep, she’d be able to relax? 

     As (your name) drifted off, she failed to notice a body laying under her bed. A certain silver haired man crawled out from underneath her bed before he stood over her, blue eyes greedily taking in the sight before him.

     Tentacles gently began to caress her body, a soft groan leaving her throat before she unconsciously cuddled into the warm appendages, causing a smile to crawl on Etrian’s face. 

    He knew she would grow used to him. Maybe if he started visiting her every night, she’d stop fearing him as much. Etrian reached a hand out to brush some of her hair out of her face. 

    His soulmate was so pretty and cute… he couldn’t wait to steal her away from here…

    Etrian hummed before walking over to her little desk in the corner. The male setting down a small (favorite flavor) pudding on her desk. 

     Hopefully she’d like his little surprise for her.

. 

. 

. 

     (Your name) had terrible nightmares last night about a certain tentacle man. Her body covered in a light sheen of sweat.

     “My lady, your husband would like to have breakfast with you.” One of the maids said at the door, the maid’s eyes widening at the helping of pudding on (your name)’s desk. “Did you order pudding last night?”

     “Pudding?” (Your name) furrowed her brow in confusion before her eyes widened in shock at the (favorite flavor) pudding that sat on her desk. “I didn’t ask for pudding…”

     (Your name) smiled softly. Maybe Cedric had gotten her some. He has been a lot more attentive lately. 

     “Tell him I’ll be there. I just have to clean up a bit.”

    The maid nodded before heading off, leaving (your name) to wonder who left her the mystery pudding.

. 

. 

. 

     “Thank you for the pudding, Cedric.” Cedric furrowed his brow in confusion at (your name)’s statement. “It was a nice sweet treat to have after a nightmare last night.”

     “Pudding? I never sent you pudding.” (Your name)’s face turned pale at Cedric’s words, a concerned look now on Cedric’s face as well. 

     “Then who knew I liked pudding and even my favorite flavor?” (Your name) nervously glanced over to the side. A certain man with a black octopus head, began to flail around excitedly before holding its tentacles like a shy school girl. And why were they slightly wet this time?

   Cedric followed her gaze, his eyes narrowing at the stoic Duke. There was no way Etrian was holding a torch for his wife right? Etrian wouldn’t sneak into her room to drop off pudding… no. Etrian was eating a pencil the other day. There was a chance Etrian was weird enough to break into a lady’s room.

    “Good morning, Duke and Duchess Lancaster.” Etrian bowed to the other dukes, his blue eyes studying Cedric face while his tentacles excitedly rubbed (your name) face. “I will be heading back to my empire in a week. I had a lovely stay here.”

    “I’m happy to hear that, Duke Graham.” Cedric gave Etrian a tight lipped smile, red eyes focused on the uncomfortable expression on (your name)’s face. 

   “I also heard a fun little rumor during my stay here.” Etrian placed a hand over his chin, an amused expression on his face. “I heard you two are getting a divorce.”

    “That isn’t going to happen now-“

   “Well you should’ve told that one little maid. Seems she sent the paperwork over to the emperor-“ Cedric quickly rose to his feet, his loud voice booming at the staff to quickly intercept the letter to the emperor.

    Etrian and (your name) now the only two left in the dining room. Etrian turned his head towards (your name), causing her to gulp in fear.

    “You’ll be single by the end of this week and I’ll be leaving home. When the emperor gets that letter, you’ll be demoted to a commoner.” Etrian cooed, his tentacles tightly wrapping around (your name), Etrian pulling her hand up to his face. Her body flinching when she felt his soft lips press against her hand. “So why don’t you become my wife? You won’t have to live as a commoner then and I’ll treat you well. Plus you can see what no one else can…”

    “What?”

   “Don’t play dumb. You can see me. The real me. And I can show you pleasure you’ve never felt before. Just think about it. I have 8 extra appendages compared to the average man.” Etrian whispered in her ear. “I’m also one of the richest men in the four empires. You’ll never have to struggle or starve again.”

    “Why me?” (Your name) whimpered, the tentacles slowly moving lower on her body, a few teasingly squeezing her legs and hips.

    “Because you can see me just like my dad can see my mom. Don’t you get it? We’re soulmates, baby.”

   (Your name) nearly cried when he pulled away. The tentacles smoothing out the wrinkles in her clothes.

    “Just think about it, okay?” Etrian smiled, the tentacles flailing around excitedly. “I promise you’ll be very happy.”

    “You bastard!” An angry Cedric hissed, a fist colliding into Etrian’s face, the silver haired man barely moving. The tentacles now pointing at Cedric like swords, causing (your name) to freeze in terror. “Why would you do that?! You sent that letter a week ago-“

    “You don’t appreciate your wife. I found all those letters, Cedric.” A taunting chuckle escaped Etrian’s throat, the tentacles sharpening as they prepared to strike Cedric at any moment. “You’ve probably never even touched her-“

    “Please stop!” (Your name) stood in between the two, tears cascading down her face. Cedric’s heart clenching at her terrified expression. It was just an argument, why was she so scared? “I’ll go with you. Just please don’t hurt Cedric. Please…”

     Cedric froze when he saw the thrilled smile on Etrian’s face. Leather gloves hands held (your name) face with such tenderness, it made Cedric sick to his stomach.  

     “I’ll make you so happy. You’ll never be sad again.” Etrian cooed, his blue eyes gleaming at Cedric. “You can stay in my room for the time being seeing to it that you’re now a single woman. I’ll get you a nice pretty ring when we reach my empire.”

     “What does he mean (your name)? You’re not going to marry him are you?” Cedric froze at the defeated look on (your name)’s face. Her (eye color) orbs tiredly glancing at Cedric. 

    “I’m sorry, Cedric.” Cedric could only hug himself as he watched his wife be dragged away by Etrian. The silver haired Duke excitedly droning on and on about how much she was going to love their new life together.

. 

. 

. 

     Cedric peaked through the doorway of (your name) and Etrian’s room. His heart clenching when he saw how he tenderly held her in his arms.

     It wasn’t fair… if Cedric never messed up, she would’ve never met Etrian… she would’ve never divorced him… they’d still be happy…

    But were they ever happy? No… Cedric couldn’t remember the last time they shared a smile together or even a dance. Cedric never really deserved her… but he didn’t think Etrian did either.

.

. 

. 

     Cedric could only watch as (your name) and Etrian headed off to the northern empire in a carriage together. The silver haired man fretting over her every need while Cedric could only watch from his study’s window in utter distaste and envy.

      “My lord, she left you a sketchbook.” Cedric glanced at the book, tears gather in his eyes as he looked at all the intricate drawings of birds. The swans being his favorite.

     The last drawing was what made Cedric’s blood run cold. A terrifying eldritch monster with a black octopus head over Etrian’s body stared back at him, a small note in the bottom of making a shiver run down Cedric’s spine.

     ‘I can see him, Cedric. He likes that I can see him. Help me.’

      Now Cedric knew why she was so terrified of Etrian… it was because he was a monster.

. 

. 

. 

    “I can’t wait for you to meet my mother.” Etrian cooed, his tentacles excitedly flailing around the carriage. One grasping (your name)’s chin. “You’ll like her.”

     “(Your name)… are you sad?” Etrian asked, the male grasping her hands in his gloved ones. “You won’t ever feel like nothing here. I’ll treat you to whatever you like.”

     (Your name) could only fully glance out the window. Her heart aching as she began to miss Cedric. She hoped he would at least be happy…

     A tentacle suddenly gave her a tight squeeze while another forced her head to look at Etrian. Smooth lips pressing against her own, her body shaking in fear as the tentacles began to grope her body.

    Etrian pulled away, her eyes widening when she finally got to see some semblance of a face on the man. A smile crawling on Etrian’s face.

    “There. Don’t think of other men around me. I don’t like it.”

     (Your name) could only silently cry as Etrian continued to press kisses on her face. His lips burning her with the  passion he held for her.

    “We’re going to have our wedding in a few days time once we arrive. Is there somewhere you’d like to go? Or something you’d like to do when we get there?”

     “I’m alright for now. Thank you, Etrian.” (Your name) politer responded, folding her hands in her lap nervously. 

     Etrian smiled before continued to excitedly chatter on about the wedding. His tentacles dancing around excitedly.

. 

. 

. 

      A regal woman with long silver hair and bright blue eyes stood outside of the Graham palace. Her cold gaze focusing on the carriage that had arrived. 

     Former Duchess Guinevere had gotten the news that her son had found a bride while he was in the southern empire. She just didn’t think her son would latch onto the other duke’s former wife so quickly.

     Her eyes glared at the pretty young woman who exited the carriage, her eyes widening when she saw her son’s tentacles all over the girl. The girl subtly trying to push them off. Her son had found his soulmate… Etrian had found his soulmate!

     A bright smile was on the former duchess’s lips, the servants immediately blushing and whispering to each other. Guinevere never smiled and here she was smiling at the fiancée her son had brought.

     “Welcome home, son. I see you brought me home a daughter as well.” Guinevere smiled, her blue eyes gazing intensely at the trembling woman who wouldn’t look her in the eye. Was it a possibility she could see Guinevere’s true form as well? How interesting…

     (Your name) tried her best not to cry at how much larger the octopus like creature that Etrian called his mother was. She was terrified at how the other woman’s tentacles were poking her face as well.

      “It’s very nice to make your acquaintance, duchess.”

     A hearty laugh let the woman’s throat, the regal woman gesturing for her servants to make her new family member feel welcome.

     “Please. Call me mother.”

.

. 

. 

    (Your name) tried her best not to cry at the feast Etrian’s family held for them. Etrian’s mother’s tentacles were all over the former Duke. Who didn’t seem to mind as much as (your name) did.

     “Welcome, my dear. I see you’re still getting used to Etrian’s… quirks.” The former Duke, Rolfe, smiled at the young couple. His eyes narrowing at his son intensely staring at (your name). “Etrian, I’d like for you to start a toast for your lovely fiancée here.”

     Etrian quickly sprang to his feet, one of his gloved hands holding (your name)’s. While to other held up a glass of Chardonnay.

    “I’d like to raise a toast to my lovely fiancée, (your name). I cannot wait to be wed to such a lovely girl who can stand to be around the real me.” No she could not. (Your name) was doing her best not to pass out at the table right then and there at all the eyes (and tentacles) that were on her. 

    “(Your name), my dear. I’m so happy my son seems so fond of you. He was such a lonely boy growing up…” Guinevere sighed, her tentacles cradling her body as she continued to talk about Etrian. “He loves reading all the time. I swear he loved books more than his own mother-“

    “Mother. Please. You’re embarrassing me.” (Your name) could only smile politely as Etrian’s tentacles pulled her closer to him. The male pressing a kiss to her head. 

    Guinevere only smiled all knowingly at her son and husband. Rolfe sighing before gazing at the young couple. “You both have our blessing. We can have the wedding as soon as you’d like-“

    “Tomorrow.” Etrian stated boldly, causing his father to laugh.

    “Impatient just like your mother was.” (Your name) could only watch as Rolfe tenderly caressed his wife’s affectionate tentacles. “I’ll send some dress makers down to your room tonight then.”

  “Dear, remember when we were young?” The older couple soon got into a private and affectionate banter. The two giggling and whispering to each other like a young couple in love. 

    “See? You’ll be happy here.” Etrian stated, the young Duke pulling out (your name)’s chair. “How about we go on a walk while those two continue to flirt?”

     (Your name) nodded, hesitantly taking Etrian’s hand as the much taller male lead her out of the dining room.

     Her octopus fiancé motioning to the portraits on the wall of the most beautiful family she’s ever seen. Rolfe being the only one she recognized in the portraits.

    “Who are they?”

    “You don’t recognize your own fiancé?” Etrian chuckled as he pointed to the tall handsome man with long silver hair in the portrait. “I’m right there or can you only see these?”

     (Your name) tried not to squeal when the tentacles starting tickling her, trying her best not to smile at how playful Etrian was being.

    “I… I can only see those.”

    Etrian suddenly pulled her to himself, pressing a long kiss to her left collarbone.

    “My mother said my father finally saw what she truly looked like on their wedding night. So maybe you’ll just have to wait till then to see me.”

     (Your name) smiled, casting one last look at the handsome man in the portrait. There was no way that person and this tentacle abomination were the same person.

    But then again, Rolfe seemed super into Guinevere with or without her tentacles…

. 

. 

. 

    (Your name) stood at the alter across from a more than eager Etrian. The tentacles on his head flailing around excitedly while also trying not to touch her until after the ceremony was over.

    “You may kiss the bride-“ the marriage officiant didn’t even get to finish his words before Etrian pulled (your name into a passionate kiss, (your name) shutting her eyes so she didn’t have to see how the tentacles were running themselves down every inch of her body.

    The crowd going wild at how happy Etrian seemed, much to the dismay of Duke Lancaster who sat the farthest away from the ceremony. The Duke fiddling with a dried sprig of baby’s breath. He was here for closure but he didn’t want to accept the fact that his wife had practically been forced to marry some sort of tentacle monster.

    Etrian pulled away before scooping (your name) up in his arms as the crowd cheered for their union. The silver haired Duke giving Cedric a victorious smirk.

     Etrian had won. (Your name) was his wife now. He even had something planned for Cedric as well. Something that would make sure that Duke get over (your name) for good.

. 

. 

.

    Cedric groaned, red eyes widening as he realized he was bound and gagged in a chair. The Duke of Lancaster nervously glancing around until he saw Etrian standing in front of him. The silver haired Duke giving Cedric a smirk.

    “I’m going to let you watch our wedding night.” Etrian smirked, causing Cedric to scream at him through the gag, only for no sound to come out. “And maybe if you’re good, I’ll even let you in. I feel kind of bad for stealing your wife but I’m not opposed to sharing her.”

   Cedric’s red eyes widened when Etrian pulled out a syringe. The dark haired Duke thrashing in his restraints, causing Etrian to shush him.

    “It’s just a very strong aphrodisiac. I want you to feel everything and I also gave some to (your name) as well. I want both of you to be as aroused as possible. Plus you’ll be able to see what she can see while you’re on these drugs.”

     No… he didn’t mean. Cedric gasped when Etrian stabbed the needle into his bare leg, pupils going wide at the true form of Etrian being revealed to him.

    “God. I’m going to love this.”

     Cedric could only slightly struggle, the friction from the rope turning him on. The male watching helplessly as (your name) stumbled into the room. The poor girl a panting mess as Etrian slowly began to toy with the lacy white undergarment that hid her body from Cedric’s eyes.

    “Look, (your name). I brought your ex-husband here to watch as I defile you.” A sharp gasp left (your name)’s throat when two of Etrian’s tentacles squeezes her chest, the poor girl panting as Etrian ran his hands down her hips and dipped by her privates. “We’re gonna give him a show, okay? And if you’re both good, I’ll let him fuck you too.”

    Cedric gasped when the tentacles suddenly ripped apart the lingerie on (your name)’s body his greedy eyes taking in the soft curves of her bare body. His head spinning with lust at the thought of being able to touch his wife.

   Etrian suddenly wrapped two tentacles around her wrists, holding them in place as he positioned himself behind her. (Your name) moaning loudly at how rough Etrian was being. 

    “What do you say, (your name)?”

    “Please.”

    “Please what?”

    “Please… take me, Etrian.” Etrian’s pink tongue darted out to lick her tears away, causing (your name) to blush. Right now she was able to see Etrian’s human face while under the influence of the aphrodisiac, much to Etrian’s joy. 

    “Good girl. You’re such a good girl, (your name).” Etrian sheathed himself in one thrust in (your name) a strangled cry escaping her throat as he started to pound into her like a madman. “Shit. Look at how well you take it.”

    “Ah! Ah! Ah!” (Your name) began to cry as she felt her body being pounded into and Cedric’s eyes on her. “It feels so good!”

    “Does it? How about this?” (Your name) began to cry as she felt Etrian’s tentacles rub against her clit, practically seeing stars at the intensity they were going.

    “Etrian! I’m going to-“ Etrian tightly grasped (your name) body. The white haired man releasing deep inside of her as (your name) rode out her orgasm. The Duke kissing her face as he turned to look at Cedric who had a mess between his legs as well.

  “You’re a sick freak, Cedric. Getting off watching another man fuck your wife.”

    Etrian cut Cedric’s binds with one of his tentacles before motioning over to the moaning mess that was (your name). “Have at it.”

    Cedric slowly rose up before greedily pressing kisses onto (your name)’s bare skin. The dark haired Duke slipping himself into her with ease. His pale hand grasping her hips tightly as he drilled into her doggy style.

    “Fuck. I love you, (your name).” Cedric cried as he started to go into a brutal pace. “We could make this work right? A throuple?”

    (Your name) cried and moaned as Cedric continued to pound into her poor abused body. Etrian placing his thumb in her mouth as he stroked his cock in another hand.

     “Shhh. How about you put me in your mouth while he has his fun. It’ll be nice to have something in your pretty mouth.” 

     (Your name) could only nod her head as Cedric continued to pound into her. His balls slapping roughly into her ass as she started choking on Etrian’s cock.

    “Look at that. Such a good girl taking two cocks. You’re gonna be both of our wife. It’ll be fun won’t it?” Etrian cooed as Cedric started to cry.

   “I’m gonna cum. Fuck. I’m gonna get you pregnant, (your name).” Cedric threw back his head as he came deep inside (your name) the other Duke panting as he collapsed beside (your name), who continued to suck off Etrian.

     “Look at us, (your name). All three of us are practically insatiable.” Etrian cooed as he watched Cedric start eating (your name) out. 

     “I told you I’d make you happy here.” Etrian cooed, (your name) pulling herself away from his cock to whisper.

    “Yes I love it here, Etrian. I love you and Cedric so much. Ah!” 

    “Such a good girl.” Etrian cooed, his tentacles wrapping around (your name) as he continued to play with her body. “You’re gonna be pregnant with twins by the time we’re finished with you.” 

    “Thank you… thank you…” (your name) cried as she felt her body be flipped over by Cedric who decided he was going to go for another round. 

    “Isn’t she such a good girl, Cedric.” Cedric nodded his head as he started pressing hot kisses on (your name)’s body.

    “You should be happy to know that you two never actually divorced and now the both of us are married to her. My empire just allows polyamory so it’s easier for us to have fun here.”

    “Isn’t that fun, Cedric? We’ll all be one big happy family.” Etrian soon pushed (your name) onto Cedric’s lap, who was still pounding into her like a madman.

    Etrian positioned himself behind (your name), a wicked smile on his beautiful face.

     “Now let’s see how well you can handle two cocks in one hole.”

#yandere fic #yandere imagine #female reader #yandere #Yandere monster #TW.dubcon #TW.threesome #tw.voyeurism #tentacles #monster fudger #yandere monster x reader #monster yandere #Yandere duke #Yandere ex #Yandere fiancé #yandere fantasy #original work #smut #monster smut #yandere smut #yandere original character #yandere oc #male x reader

[azullumi]

“under the burning hill” ; aventurine

premise — you say you know him, what will he choose?

tags — angst, with comfort if you squint, mentions of death, a lot of metaphors, spoilers to his backstory, i seriously don’t know how to tag this one, not proofread, 0.9k words; ficlet

tagging — @toorurs

note — i once cried to those tiktok slideshows that are like “if you really know your mother/self/father/sister/brother, what will they choose?” and then this fic happened. this is NOT my celebration fic for getting him, i have different one in my drafts

you say you know aventurine, what is he choosing?

a chance to be with his family again

he dreamt of flowers and gardens, of empty fields and large floating clouds, of tears and warmth, and he knelt into the dream where he felt the warmth of his sister’s hug and the soothing melody of his mother’s song. he buries his corpse who knew his father’s voice and how he would hold his child. in his dreams, he is good and he is loved.

he had nightmares of blood and fire, of wounds and tainted, dirty clothes, of screams and cries, and he’ll run away from the blades that will chase him, his body will become a corpse along with many others as he hides in the bloody waters. he has known death even before he saw his reflection.

and when he awakes from this, he’ll find himself in an empty bedroom despite the corners and the walls adorned with furniture, decoration, and dust. he’ll find himself alone—waking up yet he’s still in a nightmare. his family isn’t there.

for his shackles to never exist

the chain suffocates him—there’s the harsh smell of rusting metal and the cold tug of the chain when he moves his hand. his clothes are tattered, the collar and the hems burned off, and he stands before the eyes that scrutinizes and looks down on his existence. their gaze leaves letters that burn on his skin and it forms into a scar that will never heal, a reminder of what he is meant to be and will always be.

but he walks in the streets in flamboyance, the chain never seen on his wrist and neck as if it never once touched him. he treads the line of freedom and restriction recklessly and like a bird who has never known how to spread its wings, he could never reach far into the sky.

the form of his shackles have changed; it doesn’t mean he also has.

to stop the tremble of his hands

he fiddles with his fingers, adjusts the way his watch rests on his wrist—he keeps his hand busy and hidden. he wears a smile on his lips and utters such words filled with confidence as he places his bet, as he gambles his life, yet he desperately tries to conceal the way his hands tremble as he clutches on to his chips.

he wagers his life as if his existence was only a mere chip on the table, but it’s the only control he’ll ever have over himself.

an apology

he has dealt with scornful gazes and harsh remarks, has dwelled on the hidden meaning behind people’s words. he’s all too familiar with the cruel and unkind thread that weaves into their tongue as they speak—some may sing praises to him yet their eyes would harbor only hatred and disgust.

he wishes someone would ask for his forgiveness, but why would he even deserve one? what did he even do to deserve one? what did he do? does his existence outweigh the heaviness of a single syllable the word carries? was he worthy of one? does he even have any worth?

he can only let their gaze taint his skin, rearrange the letters of the words they utter into the one he will never hear.

(he has never forgiven himself either.)

to finally let go

how bruised are his knees and how long will he repent for the sins he has never committed?

he holds on to his burden as if it was a part of him, as if he’ll be nothing but an empty vessel if he loses his hold on it. he knows it's holding him down, knows it's making his hands bleed but it’s everything and the only thing he has known for—the thorns has been engraved into his palm and became part of his skin. he’ll stuff his mouth full of rotten food and leave his stomach empty, and he’ll believe this is what he’s made for.

perhaps when he'll finally find a place to put everything down, he’ll learn how it feels to live for himself and not for the things he carries.

you say you know kakavasha, what is he choosing?

to never have to say goodbye

farewell is a form of poetry and he is a poem.

in most days, he’ll hear his sister’s voice in the empty corridors of his home, he’ll hear the echoes and follow him into places she could never reach (his wishes will never be enough to save her). he’s haunted by the unspoken farewells and the goodbyes he is forced to make, watching their backs as they leave or his own.

(he wishes he never knew the word.)

(his child self) having a conversation with future him

children are bound with endless dreams and light to see into the dark as they walk into their future—he was (once) one of them. he’ll stay up at night wondering what’s ahead of him, grasping on to what little left of his hope that things will become better, and when he sleeps, he’ll dream of talking to his future self.

“are you happy?”

if he’ll have a conversation with his future self, he’ll tell him everything and anything, make him recall the memories lost when growing up, trace the stars with him as he asks him the questions he’s curious to know the answer to (his future self will know him inside out but he, the child he once was, will never know him). and maybe he’ll put their palms together once he notices his agitation—and he’ll see the differences of their hands and notice the dying light in their eyes—as they ask for their god’s blessings.

he’ll tell him: everything will be okay, even when he’ll only be met with silence.

(get onstage 

fear not

never look back.)

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

#—stellaronhvnters. #honkai imagines #honkai star rail #honkai #honkai x reader #honkai aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #star rail aventurine #aventurine x you #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr #star rail #honkai x you #hsr aventurine x reader #star rail x reader #honkai star rail x reader #azul.writes

[crying-wolves]

🪻 ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴀᴛʀᴇ ᴇᴍᴘʟᴏʏᴇᴇ!ᴀʙʙʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ 🪻

cw: 18+ MDNI!!! little bit of richgirl!abby, anxious!abby, little bit of loser!abby but i’ll let you be the judge of that, alt!reader, reader w/ tattoos + piercings, reader doesn’t care about their job, abby and reader are, like, 18 - 20, mostly fluff, petty theft, minor drug use (abby and reader get a teensy bit high), nsfw under the cut!

a/n: this is ENTIRELY self-indulgent cause i work at the movies and i think i would've liked my job better if Abby was there with me :) thank u so much for reading i love u so much i hope u enjoy <3

wc: 1.3k (a lot longer than i was expecting pls forgive me)

not proofread! im so eepy

dividers by @cafekitsune !

🪻movie theater employee!abby whose family is, as she likes to put it, ‘relatively well off’, so she’s never had to get a summer job before… 

…but when her father emails her an application from their local theater, going on and on and on about how she could manage to learn a thing or two about responsibility and time management and a hundred other things she’s apparently lacking in, she doesn’t see any other option but to piece together a meager resume and send it in.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who gets a response back almost immediately, because they’re just that desperate for new hires.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who shows up to her interview the next week in pressed black dress slacks and a perfectly ironed blue button-up, only to be met with the hiring manager’s tattered black jeans and stained work shirt.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who’s nervous as fuck during the interview and thinks that she’s taking too long to answer simple questions and tripping over her words, but the manager hires her on the spot, in like, 10 minutes.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who calls her dad on the ride back home to tell him the good news, is met with balloons that say ‘congrats!’ in big sparkly letters on the front and her favorite take-out when she steps through the front door.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who arrives on her first day on the job 20 minutes early. Spotless, bustling with excitement, and so, so unprepared to deal with all that’ll happen in the day.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who is introduced to you, after you arrive 10 minutes late, fruity energy drink in hand and sunglasses still hanging on the tip of your nose as your new trainee.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who initially thinks she’ll evaporate in the stuffy heat behind the concessions counter, suddenly feels an icy-cool wave move through her body when you shoot her a lopsided smile.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who can hardly hear a word you say as you explain what all the buttons on the register screen do… 

…‘cause she’s too focused on the way your work pants cling to your thighs and flare out at the bottom. on the pretty tattoos sneaking up and down your right arm. on the shiny lip ring that a part of her strangely wants to lick at–

🪻movie theater employee!abby who squeaks out a “yep, yeah! uh, got it!” when you ask her if she has any questions.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who definitely does not got it. Not one fuckin’ bit.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who fucks up a whole lot, at first, and manages to oversalt a batch of popcorn, stock too much of the same candy, overcharge 3 separate customers, spill a strawberry soda all over the counter, get scolded by 2 old men, and burn herself on the hotdog grill.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who smells like butter and exhaustion by the end of her 4 hour shift, but brightens up when you tap a star-shaped sticker onto her shirt and mumble out an amused “see you tomorrow, trainee.”

🪻movie theater employee!abby who realizes she has to do this all tomorrow again and lets out a shaky sigh on the way back to her car

🪻movie theater employee!abby who’s slowly getting the hang of it after a few weeks at the theater…

…getting compliments from customers, multitasking between different orders, knowing the back room as well as she does the flavors of the drinks you silently sip during your shifts.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who’s a little enthralled by you, even if you don’t really notice it.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who’s too afraid to ask for your number, so scours instagram for your contact instead.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who throws her phone across her bedroom when you finally follow her back one night.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who super smoothly asks you when you’re working so she can try to arrive at her shifts when you go on break.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who freezes up when you invite her over to the park bench in front of the theater and offer her some cajun fries and a hit from your cart.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who takes you up on both offers, because she’s starving and she wants you to think she’s cool.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who takes a bigger hit than you were expecting and is a little confused when you giggle at her sudden coughing.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who spends the next 7 hours of her shift trying to act normal, but sees you trying not to bust out laughing in the corner of her eye every few minutes.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who gets a lot closer to you after that…

…who watches you undercharge a frazzled mother on her kid’s birthday, and doesn’t say anything to the supervisor. who sees you swipe a few chocolate bars from the candy cart to give to a group of kids in the arcade. who is certain of your favorite slushie flavor because your lips are always some different color everytime you come back from your too-long bathroom breaks.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who argues about which book-to-movie adaptation is the absolute best when the day’s going by slowly.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who sneaks into different showrooms where the movie has already been playing for a while with you so you guys can guess what’s happened in the plot before.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who hides with you in the stockroom to take a break from the yelling customers and screaming kids every once in a while.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who traces the outlines of your tattoos, all heart-eyed while she’s listening to you talk about the new superhero movie that just came out a week ago.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who places a hand at the small of your back when she has to squeeze by you to grab a bucket of popcorn for a customer.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who gets a little green with jealousy when a customer compliments your piercings or makes a joke that really isn’t that funny to begin with, but you laugh anyways cause you’re required to be cordial with them.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who’s so stupidly thrilled when you kiss her after a rough closing shift and can hardly breath when she climbs into her car to drive herself home.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who is so very happy that her dad convinced her to get this stupid job in the first place.

SMUT UNDER THE CUT ! 18+ MDNI!

🪻movie theater employee!abby who lets you eat her out in the tiny bathroom stall in the women’s room on nights when the theater is dead… 

…your left hand squeezing at her tits, your right stretching her left leg over your shoulder. She looks down at you, panting, shuddering, trying and failing to conceal the little huffs and content sighs that fall from her lips every time your tongue swipes against a particularly sensitive spot.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who makes out with you in the backseat of her car when your breaks coincide, and whines in pleasure as you grind your clothed cunt against her covered thigh.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who can feel her hand start to shake and her throat go dry as she scurries to the back when you call her from your bedroom, voice all pitched-up and needy, while on your day off. Words strained and quickening wet sounds coming from your background.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who almost gasps when you two are the only ones working the concessions counter and she feels your hand slide from her lower back to squeeze her ass.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who’s obsessed with the way you watch her expressions as you slowly finger her in the empty break room.

🪻movie theater employee!abby who hates that she won’t see you until next summer, but has a million different secret pictures and texts from you that she has saved in a locked file on her phone to get her through the year <3

#abby anderson tlou #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson fanfic #abby anderson fluff #abby x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x fem!reader #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson smut #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson fic #abby anderson headcanons

[phoxey]

French toast

Bada Lee x fem!reader

CW: none :3 this is pure fluff

AN: sorry for the long absence, and sorry that this is so short, but i promised a comeback, I am still struggling to write, but it's better than nothing.

I love writing, but like in any relationships there are ups and downs. and in such down phases love is hard work. But it's worth it in the end.

Valentines Day was approaching, and this would be the first time, that you wouldn’t spend the day with Bada. You two have been a couple for a few years now and she would always make Valentines Day special. This year Bada happened to be in a dance workshop on the other side of the world for a few weeks, missing Valentines Day. You tried to talk to her every day, but time zones were against you. When she was going to bed, you were waking up, and when you were going to bed, she was waking up. You only had a small timeframe for talking, and her schedule was tight. She thought you wouldn’t notice, but she woke up earlier and stayed up late just to talk to you. You wanted to scold her for it, but on the other hand you were also grateful for every minute you got with her.

You woke up to several messages from Bada, which she sent, when she knew it was midnight in Korea. It was some silly memes, asking you out to be her valentine, but with them came a long voice message.

“Good morning, beautiful. I hope you had the most wonderful sleep and the sweetest dreams. Maybe you even dreamt of us? I know, I always do. Especially when we are apart like this. I dream of holding you in my arms, your head on my chest, while we watch our favorite shows. It’s cheesy, I know. I really can’t wait for this moment to come. I will probably be at work when you listen to this. And everything I am about to say, I could have also written in a letter, but I wanted to say those things directly, so you can hear the sincerity in my voice. I want to tell you, how I feel. I am so very madly in love with you, it drives me crazy to not be with you for every minute of the day. Every day my love for you grows. How that is possible? I don’t know. Every day I seem to invent a new kind of infinity. I have been looking at your pictures a lot more these past few days, and since day one your beauty keeps striking me over and over again. I know you still can’t see what I see, but I swear to me you are the most beautiful woman on earth. I wish I could kiss every spot you are insecure about and make that feeling go away. I love all of you. You are truly beautiful inside and out. You are just perfect for me. To have such a kind, hardworking and understanding woman in my life, and to be able to call you mine, is truly the greatest blessing I have ever received. I love you.”

From the first word on, tears shot into your eyes. You were too overwhelmed to form a coherent thought. Just as you were trying to formulate a good answer, the doorbell rang. Confused, you walked to the apartment door and opened it. A giant bouquet of your favorite flowers stood in a vase on the ground. It was arranged in the form of a heart. You had to chuckle, this was so cheesy, but that was what you loved about your girlfriend. She always did and say cheesy things, but somehow it was never cringe.

“I see I am arriving in time.”, a familiar voice said.

You looked to the side and saw Lusher and Tatter walking up to your door, both of the carrying a suspicious number of bags.

“Good morning!”, you smiled. “What are you two doing here?”

Lusher and Tatter were grinning at each other for a moment. “We are playing Cupid.”, Tatter answered.

Inside, you put the bouquet on the dining table, as the girls sat down in the living room. You joined them after a moment, bringing them coffee.

You eyed the bags; your heart was racing.

“So!”, Lusher began, and Tatter got her phone out, to begin filming. “Your special someone instructed us to give you your Valentines Day presents. She is very sorry that she can’t be with you right now, but she still wants to make sure you are being spoiled on this special day. Like you deserve.”

You opened the first bag, inside was a shoebox. You recognized immediately what kind of shoes they were. The Nike Jordan 1s you had been wanting for a while now. You took them out to look at them. Suddenly something fell out of them. It was a polaroid photo. It was a mirror selfie of Bada pointing at her feet. She was wearing the same shoes.

The second bag was bigger but softer. Slowly you pulled out, what was inside. It was two pieces of clothing. Firstly, it was one of Badas pants, you always stole, when she made the mistake of wearing them to your apartment. The second item was one of her oversized hoodies. It even smelled like her parfum.

Speaking of it, the last bag was a little smaller. Inside were two things. One you recognized as your favorite parfum, which Bada also loved on you. Whenever you wore it, she stayed at your side, not leaving you for longer than one minute. But there was also a second parfum bottle. You sprayed it on your wrist and immediately the smell of Bada filled your nose. It was her parfum. Smelling it almost made you tear up. You missed her so much. Maybe spraying this onto her hoodie and your pillow would ease the pain of her not being with you finally.

With each present your smile got bigger and your giggles more frequent. Tatter smiled just as wide as she filmed your reaction.

“Do you like it?”

You spun around and there she was. Her tall frame leaning against the wall with her shoulder. Hands in her pockets. She wore her finest dress shirt and tie. She looked so beautiful. Tears welled up in your eyes as you ran into her arms.

“Happy Valentines Day, baby.”, she whispered and kissed on top of your head, as you buried your face in her neck, sobbing.

“I thought you couldn’t come for another week.”, you muttered against the skin of her neck, placing delicate kisses onto her pulse.

“I wanted to surprise you. Did you really think I can spend Valentines Day without my forever Valentine?”

Bada mouthed a thank you to the two other girls, who just winked at her and left the apartment, grinning.

“We have so much to talk about! I have so much tea for you! And you have to tell me all about your trip and your workshop!”, you said excitedly.

Bada smiled fondly at you and laced your fingers. Tenderly, she pressed her lips to your knuckles.

“Sounds good. How about we talk, while I make some French toast?”

#bada lee #bada lee swf #bada lee x reader #swf #swf2 #team bebe

[kisses4kaia]

‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON… .ᐟ

synopsis—you visit your hometown for the holidays and the man who’s smile you’ve been missing has been missing you, too.

pairing—highschoolsweetheart!billy x reader

a/n—merry christmas !! happy holidays !! plz enjoy this rushed christmas special with our favorite cowboy. ❤️

—

“NO FUCKING WAY,” are the first words you’re met with as billy wearily opens the door you pounded on just moments ago. his expression, once groggy and obviously sleep-ridden, now wide awake at the sight of you.

“well, are you going to let me in, cowboy, or are you gonna leave me out here in the snow?” you tease, nose a dusty shade of maroon, bitten with the brutal winters cold, and billy cannot believe his eyes.

he picks his jaw up and nods quickly, opening the door wider for you and rendering himself speechless.

he never thought he would see you again, not after you moved to california to pursue your dreams of becoming a writer. he’d reckoned you would’ve been married by now, had children of your own. children you and billy had planned to have two of. a boy and a girl, a quiet life—and save for scarce letter from time to time, he had no idea how or where you were, and frankly, you were on his mind all the time.

“how? when? why?” billy’s eyebrows are furrowed as he watches you shrug off your heavy winters coat from your shoulders and hang it onto the old coat rack.

nothings changed in his house from since when you were an adolescent, save for the tattered couch that was once pushed against the wall now sitting in the middle of the room, facing the kitchen. other than that, the small, yet cozy, cottage felt like a time capsule—your memories from oh, so long ago suddenly feel like a decade hasn’t passed. like if you’d stayed, the world wouldn’t stop spinning, nor would your life end. you pushed the thought away.

instead, you laugh at the questions, because frankly you’d expected a much different reaction from him when you’d returned to the town you loved so much. “well, i got here on a horse,” you began, already cracking a joke. “as for when, i made it in town last night. and… i just felt like it. that suffice for you?” billy noticed your soft southern accent remained, though you had spent so long away from your beloved hometown.

“where are you staying?” yet another question from billy, but you didn’t mind, for, you were just grateful to see him.

“i’m staying at my parents house. you know it’s the funniest thing, i took the long way there… but the road not taken looks real good now. you know, considering the ass-freezing cold,” you jest again and billy finally cracks a smile. “you know i’ve missed you,” he says, and you pout to contain a smile. “yeah, i missed you, too. why do you think i came all this way? to get a cup of sugar?” you quipped again, never taking anything too seriously.

and there it is. that’s exactly what billy loved about you. so light-hearted, so good. even when he did things he deemed unforgivable, you were always there to highlight the brightness in his heart, to be the brightness in his heart. everything was whole with you, and billy can’t help but pull you into a tight, yearning, embrace. you reciprocate the energy and hug him back just as passionately.

and after a cup of hot coffee and catching up on one another’s lives by the burning fireplace, you end up on the floor, head resting back onto billy’s chest, bodies forming a T shape. “there was this girl called alice, and this other one called barbara, but uh… they were no good,” billy says after asking if you indeed had gotten married and had kids, to which your answer was a strong no, reasoning you didn’t have time for it, yet.

you kiss your teeth and chuckle humorlessly at billy’s unwarranted confession. “if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone, i would’ve asked you,” with the sting in your tone, billy could sense he messed up. because of course you wouldn’t want to hear about other women. billy was uneducated, not dense.

“i’m sorry,” he sighs sincerely, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “it’s okay, i mean, it’s only natural you’re gonna meet other women, i’ve been gone a good while.” you nod, allowing a false smile to dance onto your lips, throat pounding as you try mightily to keep tears from pricking at your eyes.

“hey, i want you. i always have, since the day we met. and you’re here now, aren’t you, baby? it’s just us, hm?” the endearing nickname slips, but you don’t correct him. after all, he was the only soul who could tell which smiles you were faking. “i’m only here for the weekend,” you look up at him, eyes honest and big, vulnerable and almost naïve. he smiles down at you, not turned off in the slightest by the very short amount of time he had with you. “well then, i guess we just have to make it count, right?”

you smile and stand, wordlessly making your way over to where, if memory serves you well, his bedroom is. lo and behold, the room is his, you know by the window being in the same place you remember staring out of while billy played with your hair as your ear pressed to his chest. difference is, the once full-sized bed has been replaced with a king—checks out, you’d taken a mental note earlier of how tall he’s gotten.

billy’s entering the room not long after you, and when he comes closer, places his hands on your waist, forehead pressed against yours, lips just a whisker away from one another’s, he asks. “can i… can i kiss you?” and you smile, because even now, when you’re full grown adults, he’s still nervous to even kiss you without audible permission. “please,”

and it’s like fireworks went off when you feel warm, coffee flavored, familiar lips on yours. god, you’d almost forgotten how much you missed kissing him. your hands tangled in his hair as he walked you back onto the bed, laying you down and not daring to pull away from your lips as he unbuttoned your blouse.

your tongue swiped his bottom lip, a beg for entrance, and he so graciously let his mouth to fall open slightly, allowing your tongue to meet with his. hastily, billy rods you of all your garments, before allowing you to help him strip himself. he only disconnected his lips from yours when he kissed down to your jaw, to your neck and to your clavicle, finding your sweet spot on your collarbone.

his hands trail down your abdomen, coming to a stop at your core, fingers drawing fast circles onto your clit, and you can’t help but moan. “fuck, billy, please, please fuck me, i‘ve missed you so much,” he smiles as he presses a kiss to your cheek, before he pushes his middle finger into your tight cunt. he lets out a groan himself at the squeeze. “fuck baby,” he breathes out, before beginning to pump the digit in and out of you, your pussy getting wetter by the second. and when he adds in another finger, curls both of them upwards to press against that one spongy spot inside of you, you come undone almost immediately. “that’s it, attagirl. cum on my fingers all pretty for me, yeah?” and you’re still desperate for billy’s cock even after your orgasm.

“billy, please,” you whine as you watch him lick the arousal off of his fingers, moaning at the taste, and he just coos at you reassuringly. “i know, baby, i know. just wanted to taste you first,” and when he finally pushes his aching cock into your impossibly tight cunt before bottoming out, you moan gutturally, and a breathy “fuck,” leaves billy. he gives you a moment to adjust to his size—necessary due to your long time spent away from his cock—before slowly beginning to move again.

for your sake, he tried to hold back, go at a pace slow enough that won’t leave your legs out of order for a week, but when you’re moaning underneath him so pretty like that? how was he expected to do anything but fuck you into the mattress like the world was ending? “billy, fuck, please, don’t stop—shit! i’m—ngh—i’m gonna cum, billy, holy fuck!” and it’s with a loud, sinful, moan that you squeeze around him incomprehensibly tight, like a fucking vice, billy thinks, and cum around his dick. he’s right behind you, looking down at where your bodies meet and seeing a creamy ring form at the base of his own cock. i did that, he thinks, and with your nails painfully dragging down his back, with your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, with just you being in his fucking presence, he pulls out of your pussy and strokes himself a few times, before painting you with warm, white ribbons of his own release.

wordlessly, he presses a kiss to your forehead before he picks you up bridal style and carries you to the bathroom. he runs a towel under warm water and cleans you up carefully, all before preparing a bath for the pair of you.

and when all is said and done, when the world is quiet and you are wrapped up in an old flannel of his, paired with his boxers, sitting on his bed, billy holds you close, and begins humming a song you aren’t familiar with, but the voice from which the tune flows out of is nothing but intimate, close.

“what’s the real reason you came back?” billy stops his humming, and you can only smile.

“because, billy, it always leads to you in my hometown.”

#.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ 𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐚 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 ! #billy the kid smut #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid #billy antrim #william h bonney smut #william bonney #william h bonney #tis the damn season #christmas special #Spotify #kaia writes william

[trashmouth-richie]

𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: escaping Hawkins was impossible, but he did it. when a ghost from your past shows up unexpectedly, bringing with him old memories and holding up a mirror to the train wreck life you’re living… you find it hard to trust him again.

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ no minors, depictions of poverty, child neglect/ endangerment, drug use/abuse, alcohol use/abuse, endangerment, 18+ sex working, 18+stripping, violence, smut. no use of y/n reader has a name that’s introduced in the first chapter, and another “nickname” that is lightly used throughout this series. eddie also has a nickname given by reader.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: memories flood back of when you were younger, Eddie wants to talk but silence holds merit.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: here i come, but i ain’t the same

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: cold before the warm

masterlist

The nub end of graphite scrawls against a crinkled back page of paper. Ripped haphazardly from a composition book labeled: Language Arts—E.M.

The yellow pencil was pocked with teeth marks, having been between a pair of teeth that weren’t yours, mind not even gathering the germs that could be harbored in the pressed wood. 

Your tongue had been poked out for nearly three minutes according to the watch on Eddie’s wrist. Your brain working overtime trying to find the best phrase that would stump your friend in the game of Hangman. 

The alphabet was written in a hurry on the left side of the page, parallel to the hanging post. Beneath that were evenly scratched dashes on the blue printed line, waiting for their companion of letters to be filled by Eddie’s correct guesses. 

Putting the pencil down with a satisfying smack, you look up from your masterpiece confidently.

“Okay, I’m ready!” 

Eddie chomps a piece of Big Red loud between his teeth, unhooking his tangled feet from underneath himself and stretching out his skinny legs, jeans from the previous school year hacked into shorts for the summer, “took long enough.”

You make a face and flip him a suggestive finger, the nail chipped and painted pink from the last time your neighbor Michelle let you play with her nail polish, and in return you listened to her gab about her boyfriend while she combed her hair like Marcia Brady. 

“Don’t be a poor loser because you’ve lost the last four games, Clove.” 

He laughs when your eyebrows turn into a pout, the heel of your worn sneaker kicking into his. The same black pair of converse, yours a few sizes smaller, faded and tattered, fitting your feet in a way that was uncomfortable for the arch of your foot, years of wear accustomed to another’s foot print that belonged to the boy across from you. 

Letters are guessed and lines filled in. Eddie insists that you make the hangman have a face complete with nose, mouth and eyes realizing that he is close to eating his words from earlier. 

“Would you like the hangman to be wearing socks and a hat?” You ask honestly, hiding a smirk behind the paper. 

Eddie scoffs, working a bite mark into his bottom lip as he racks his brain for what kind of dumb phrase you conjured up, “I quit on terms that you’re a cheater.” 

The insult was harsh, not worse than the words that you heard around your kitchen table or ones that ricocheted off the thin walls when you were on the cusp of dreaming. No, this word hurt. Stung into your skin like a wasp, repeating its terror until you were swollen and skin ached of heat. 

Tears sprung to your eyes, clinging to your lashes ready to drop. The paper clenched in your fist as you shoved it under Eddie’s nose, proving your innocence. 

“I am not!” 

“Sure you are,” he takes the paper from you, folding it roughly into an uneven shape and shoving it between the couch cushions behind him, “Cheatin’ Clove. Has a nice little ring to it doesn’t it?” 

Before Eddie can say anymore, a can of Coca Cola is thrown at his head hitting him with a thud, followed by your whimpers and the sound of your feet clapping against the dirty linoleum. 

“Clove! ow! Wait!” 

The screen door scratched your palms as you twisted it open. Jumping from the stairs and landing hard in the dirt, you didn’t bother bringing your bike home. Choosing to run the short distance instance instead, shutting the front door with a heavy slam. 

Tears soaked your pillowcase before you drifted to sleep, curled up on top of the patchwork quilt on your bed. 

Eddie. 

His name was trapped in your mouth, dry along your tongue, unable to force its way out. 

He was a ghost to you, memories that were buried and dormant were now flooding back at full speed, pinging around your brain firing each nerve tucked away deep, landing you a migraine behind your eyes. 

Seven years. 

Seven fucking years, since you had seen those doe shaped eyes, brown muddied colors still lost in a child’s innocence and wonderment— barely aged from the last time you had seen him. That memory burned into your retinas, like fuel to a pained flame. 

His hair was longer, well past his shoulders now, fringe of his bangs still thick on his forehead. His knuckles were covered in tattoos, the little you can see of his neck is also full of dark wisps of ink.

He says your nickname, the one only he knew. A joke between best friends. 

You try to open your mouth, fighting like hell to will anything to come out, but nothing does, the words choke against your throat, caught against each other in a tangled string of sharp edges.

“uh— I—E..”  

His eyes grew bigger than they already were, waiting for you to say something, anything. It was as if time stood still, all the pain from years prior coming back.

Images of Eddie, his smile, the bloody gash on his knee from his longboard, small memories, painful ones that could bring someone less strong to their knees: all flash behind your eyes.  

The pain from all those years ago was searing through you like a knife. Memories that you kept buried away were suddenly throttling you like they had just happened, the wounds that were licked clean were now fresh and open, blood flowing freely.

Before hot tears can spill down your face, you spin wildly on your heel, walking fast and turning back to the bar. The tray slamming onto the back counter with a loud bang, snapping.  

Your breath was erratic, heart racing. Whatever lingering high you had was gone. Emotions you hadn’t felt in years coursing through you demanding to be felt. 

Why was he back? 

You didn’t know the purpose of his return to Hawkins, only registering how hurt you felt that he was. The day he left still stung your spine, sending shivers all over your body. 

Did he ever think of you? In the seven years he had been gone did you bleep on his radar even once?

Hanging your head your fingers tap nervously on the lacquered wood, trying to calm yourself down before you work yourself up anymore than you already were. 

“Be right back,” you called over your shoulder to Jolene, head down walking fast to the cooler. 

The chilled air made your skin prick with goosebumps but you couldn’t care, the only thing you could feel was your heart shattering to pieces all over again. 

The floor was cold under your body, shelves and beer boxes held you up as you fell apart. Deep shuddering breaths in and winded ones out, you don’t wipe the tears as they free fall down the apples of your cheeks—dragging black eyeliner and mascara with them til they trickle from your chin. 

The callus of your life made it hard to feel, even harder to cry. But once the gate was open, it was challenging to close. A dam of pent up emotions broke free out of you like an angry flood, full of irreparable damage, forgotten feelings and an exploding heart. Taking with it years of questions, hopes and dreams. 

Scenery wasn’t the only thing that was altered in his time away. You evolved, having to peel off layers of naivety and fear. Would he care if he knew? 

Wiping another sludge of wet makeup from under your eyes you catch the tattoo on your hand. 

It burned on your skin. Prickling like it hadn’t been ten years since you’d gotten it.  Years that seemed like a different lifetime ago.

It practically was.

The boy who did them was long gone, and the man in his place was someone you didn’t even know. 

—

It was you. 

The only person in all of Hawkins who made it bearable. What should have been a joyful reunion was clouded over with painful memories. Of course there were good ones, but mostly the bad out weighed anything happy. 

You had always been the little bit of sunshine that broke through on a cloudy day, the only person he trusted with silly secrets, trusted with anything.

He couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that you were here. Not just in Hawkins. But working here. 

A surge of rage filled his stomach but was quickly washed out by pain as you stomped away, looking as if you had seen a ghost, a part of your past that you didn’t want to remember. 

Was that what he was to you? A painful memory, one that was more sour than everything else that happened? 

Jeff’s voice is muffled in his ears, as if he’s trying to speak underwater. He can’t wrap his head around this whole thing. The guilt eating him alive. 

Eddie clears his throat and takes a generous sip of beer, trying to stop his hands from shaking, chilled sweat creeping down his back. He fiddles with a napkin, ripping the end into small shreds and rolling them up like a kid would for a spit wad. 

He could map out every scar on your arms and legs, tell anyone the exact color of your eyes, in sunlight and in a dark room. He knew your favorite song, that you were afraid of the dark and that your front teeth didn’t come in for almost three months after he had helped you pull them out.

You had taught him how to hang upside down on the monkey bars behind the trailer park. He taught you how to play his guitar, and if he thought hard enough he could remember the smell of your shampoo. 

You were everything to him.

Bestfriends since the cradle, made up handshakes and secrets sworn to the grave. But years, tear spilled miles and the guilt of broken promises wedged a distance between you. 

One that couldn’t be made better by the letters he sent that went unanswered. And it definitely wouldn’t get fixed in one random night when fate lead him to this fucking dump, back under your nose.

It hurt not seeing the sparkle in your eyes, but he could only blame himself. 

“Sorry, what was that?” 

Jeff motions for Eddie to lean in, doing so he jerks his head to the bar where you are standing stone-still hovering over a counter with your back turned to them. “She looked familiar, right? Did she go to school with us?” 

“Yeah,” he admitted, trying to shove down his emotions with another gulp of beer, “she did.” 

Jeff leans back, “Chloe? Cassie, Chasity… no. Claire? Shit what was her name?” 

Eddie’s eyes fell to the smudgy tattoo, he rubs his thumb over the ink, “Clove.”

“That’s right!” clapping his hands together, “knew it was something weird.” 

Eddie let himself smile. Small and weak, his lip ticking up on one side. He rubbed the tattoo again, remembering that day like it was yesterday. 

—

The summer breeze blows hotly through the makeshift curtains, sending the loose paper on the dresser scattering like desert tumbleweeds across Eddie’s bedroom floor, joining the litter of car magazines and unwashed clothes taking up space in the tiny room. 

“gotta sit still Slick, or this won’t work.” 

You were biting through your lip, trying to muffle a cry from breaking out, “ow..it hurts!” 

It was your idea to get matching tattoos with your best friend, and it was Eddie who said he could do them no problem. He had already tattooed a heart on Dave with his girlfriend's name through the center last month—never mind that she dumped him a week later. The sobs coming from trailer 11 didn’t ever seem to end. 

“Well yeah,” Eddie chuckles, clearing his throat and puffing behind a cigarette, “what did you expect it would be done with? A marker?”

Your right hand rested on his bent knee for precision. The other was clamped tight over your eyes in hopes that if you didn’t see how it was done, it wouldn’t hurt so bad. 

The warmth of your sweaty nervous palm on his jeans felt hot, as if you were being burnt alive. But, despite the pain from the needle going in and out of your skin, Eddie was gentle. 

His shoulder provided comfort as you leaned your head onto it, slowly wetting his shirt with your tears. You curl your body into his side, knees stabbing into his ribs, head pressed tight to the side of his neck, hand fisting the sleeve of his shirt for support as you intake a sharp breath when he finishes the curve of the dainty heart. 

“Need a break?” he asks, setting the needle down on the carpet, rubbing a pattern with his thumb on your hand. “I made some Kool-Aid yesterday, your favorite kind.” 

Lynyrd Skynyrd plays softly in the background and Eddie strums along on your palm to the guitar solo. 

Muffled against his cotton shirt, your voice is hoarse from the tears, “orange?” 

He chuckles around a cloud of smoke, “hell yeah, picked some up yesterday morning before my shift, got a few packets for your place too, I know how much Lolly likes it.” 

“Speaking of,” you uncross your legs to stand, “I gotta go check on her.” 

Eddie stands up with you, a whole head taller than you were, you pluck the cigarette from his mouth and slot it into your own, inhaling the tobacco expertly into your lungs as you examine the small tattoo on your skin.

“‘m not done yet, but what do ya think?” 

Blood and ink were smeared around it messily, but it looked identical to the one he had on his left hand, yours only missing the clover. 

A smile stretches across your lips and you feel the burn of tears from in your eyes, “it’s perfect, Eddie.”  

He opens his bedroom door, grabbing the cigarette from your mouth and squishing it into the heaping ashtray on his nightstand. “you really think so?” he whispers.

“Are you kidding? It’s amazing!” 

He blows his lips in a raspberry, long legs walking down the dingy carpet hallway to the kitchen, “let those prissy bitches try to pick on you now… nobody wants to fight someone with tattoos.” 

The girls at school weren’t nice in elementary school and they somehow got nastier with every year. You went from being “stinky girl” to “trailer skank” overnight. 

A far cry from any sort of originality, but that’s how Hawkins was, ruled by the dim and dumb, daddy’s bank account used as a hierarchy status. 

You always brushed them off, keeping mostly to yourself and to your best friend. Eddie took it upon himself to conjure up a frenzied retort that would have them scoffing in disgust. 

With Eddie, nothing else mattered, he didn’t care if your clothes didn’t fit right, or if your ponytail looked scraggly. He didn’t give a shit what people thought of him. You were just two neglected trailer park kids, but to him, you were important. 

“You're an artist Eddie, could probably make a lot of money doing this someday.” 

The idea fell silent between you, both knowing in your hearts what path your life would lead you down. Stuck in the nightmare of what went on behind the thin walls in the trailer park.

Peering over the counter you can see Lolly. Sleeping just as soundly as she had when you laid her down. The stolen playpen from the yard sale on Cornwalis turned out to be worth the uncomfortable bike ride back to Forest Hills with Eddie standing on his pedals and you on the handlebars holding onto dear life as he raced back home. 

Her chubby cheeks were pressed against the yellow floral sheet, little curls twisted into two tiny pigtails, milk dribbling slow from her puckered lips. 

You smile at the sight of such innocence, wishing that you too were unaware of what life was actually like, and knowing that you would do anything to keep your little sister safe from this reality for as long as possible. 

“Can’t believe she cried that long, usually she loves pb&j’s..” Eddie points to your head, trying not to laugh, “you still have peanut butter in your hair by the way.” 

Lolly had thrown every last bit of her sandwich in a temper tantrum fueled by a lack of sleep. Her aim being perfect with you as her target. 

Twenty minutes with your head under the bathroom sink and Eddie cackling as he squeezed shampoo on your head apparently wasn’t enough to get the sticky treat out.  

“Little shit,” you huff, a smirk on your lips, turning to the fridge, and reaching for the sugary orange drink from the shelf, shutting the door with your hip, “think she might be cuttin’ some teeth at least that’s what Patty said last time she babysat.” 

Eddie reached for the plastic cups that were nabbed from Benny’s after one of his busboy shifts, holding them steady as you poured the juice.

Only spilling a little, you lifted the end of your shirt to mop the counter up. “Kids are weird,” Eddie says, smacking his lips with an orange mustache after a long swig, “remind me never to have ‘em.” 

Snorting through your nose you swallow harshly, a quirk to your eyebrow, “having kids is totally normal, all of our neighbors do.”

He thought quietly before speaking again, “yeah, and nobody is ever around..” he shakes his head. “We’re gonna leave here someday, you and me.” 

You roll your eyes, “sure thing, Slim.” 

Eddie talked crazy like this sometimes. Always dreaming bigger than you could even fathom. Head permanently stuck in the clouds, wishing, hoping for something better than the cards you were both dealt. But you on the other hand, your feet, in hand-me-down shoes, never left the ground. 

His voice was stern when he spoke to you, eyes pleading, and you had never heard him like that before. 

“I’m serious, I’ll die before I stay here,” he moves forward, holding your biceps as he looks down at you, dark eyes wide, almost wild, “I promise you, we won’t end up like this...okay?” 

—

He couldn’t blame you for the way you reacted when your eyes met his. Seeing you tonight hurt more than he could have ever imagined it too. To be honest, he didn’t expect you to still be in Hawkins, but then again— where would you have gone? 

“…you still there dude?” 

Eddie’s eyes shift to Jeff, plastering a smirk to his lips to hide the pain etched so evidently on his face, “yeah, I just uh— tired I guess.” 

He scanned the bar for you, still seeing your frame behind the counter, this time turned around handing a round of beers to a couple of college punks. 

“How far is the drive?” 

Bless Jeff for trying to keep this conversation alive, but Eddie’s mind was anywhere but here at this table. 

Questions he never thought to ask, suddenly poured into his mind. Did you finish high school? Where were you living? How’s Lolly? How old is she now? How have you been? 

He felt sick that he didn’t know the answer to any of them. Guilt devouring away at him like a flesh eating amoeba. 

“Six—no, probably seven hundred miles.. give or take.” 

Had you applied to college? Were you still living in the trailer park?  

“Damn,” Jeff said, scrubbing his hands down his face, “gonna have to visit you sometime, show me around all the cool places… you ever been out to LA? My girlfriend, well ex now, we went a year ago around Christmas time she really loved...”

Although Eddie didn’t know the answers, he figured maybe Jeff would. 

He shakes his head, interrupting his friend, hand raised in apology, “hey, uh wh— whatever happened to her?” He hooks a thumb in your direction in the most nonchalant way he could, even though his entire body was fidgeting in anticipation. 

Jeff raises an eyebrow, “Clove? Oh umm, shit… well I think, no.. yeah no, she didn’t graduate. I remember hearing that she had dropped out, and now she works here apparently.” 

A smirk forms on his lips and he points behind him to the back corner, “forgot to tell you, rumor has it this place is more than just a strip joint,” his dark eyebrows wiggle, “if y'know what I mean.” 

For the first time tonight, Eddie noticed girls coming and going from the beaded doorway, vacant expressions on their smudged faces. Trailing behind were drunk men with glazed eyes and sweaty foreheads, readjusting the threads of their belts and slacks. 

He scans the bar with wild eyes in search of you. Hoping and praying to whoever would listen that you weren’t a part of this. You couldn’t be. 

Who is he kidding? 

If you were still in Hawkins, still under the weight and scrutiny of the inner dealings that started in the trailer park, you were very much involved. 

Realization hit him like a freight train. His stomach clenched and warped with the dreaded grief and guilt he still carried. Deep down he had figured this was what your life had come to. Lying to himself in thinking that you had gotten away from all of this. But seeing it firsthand, in the flesh—he couldn’t bear the thought of it. 

Choking back vomit, he slides from the booth hastily, practically spilling his beer all over the table in his desperate attempt to find you. 

“shit!” Jeff shouted, “dude, you alright?” 

He wasn’t. 

He stumbles from the table, tripping over his own boots and knocking into one of the burly bearded men at the bar, sending his drink tumbling to the ground. Glass and liquor covering the floor like the sparkle of a fresh snow. 

“What’s your problem asshole!?” 

His fiery red hair matched his temper, and the weathered roughness of his cheeks, “ever been inside a bar, tough guy?”  

Before Eddie can whip up a witty retort, Mr. Big Red comes back for more, grabbing him by the arm and shoving him into the high counter of the bar, “hey honey, better stop serving this prick, he can’t handle his liquor like a real man.” 

The swinging doors open and there you are again, struggling beneath the keg you’re carrying. He wanted to jump up and grab it from you, but Eddie was still pinned to the bar by the guy's hand on his bicep, tightening more and more. 

Your eyes reach his and it’s like you don’t even see him. 

“Agh, c’mon Mick,” you say, a warm smile on your lips, “I like ‘em nice and drunk, that’s when they tip the best.”

You set the keg down with a metallic thud on the floor, grabbing a bottle of Jameson and two shot glasses. The mahogany liquid pours smoothly, much like the dark eyes watching you, and heat crawls up your neck. 

Sliding one towards Mick, you hold the other up by your black painted fingers, Clinking them together with a ‘cheers’ and bringing the glass to your lips, allowing your eyes to finally glance towards Eddie. 

He was taller now. His shoulders, more broad, filling in the teenage lithe muscles that fit his frame then. His baby face disappeared entirely, now his chin was stretched with a sharp jaw, which was currently clenched like he was holding back anger, his throat bobbing in a dance of tattooed skin. 

You swallow the liquor in one gulp, relishing the burn as it slips down your throat, the same fire that’s staring from across the counter. Eddie hadn’t taken his eyes from yours.

A twitch forms in your eyelid and you blink it away, setting the glass down hard on the wooden countertop.

You lean your body across the bar, collecting the glassware that’s accumulated since you had been hiding in the cooler. Placing them gently into the warm sudsy sink to wash before filling the small dishwasher below. 

Mickey was already turned back around, talking loudly to Wendy and trying to get her to sit on his lap for five bucks. His grip on Eddie’s arm turns limp when you slide him another shot, just for good measure. 

The bar is chaotic, loud and boisterous, but the air between you and Eddie is quiet, stagnant, no warmth from you. Icicles could form from your frigid silence. 

He knocks his knuckles against the bar, big gaudy rings clacking along, keeping in rhythm to the music playing overhead, but you don’t give in. Don’t humor him by asking how or why he knew Rock Me Amadeus.

“Hey V,” you call out to your work partner, “get this stranger a drink before he gets a parking ticket.” 

Swiveling away from him, you squat down to maneuver the keg to where it needed to go, rocking it on its rounded edge and swiveling it into place. 

Veronica’s voice is cheery and dripping with sex appeal as she asks Eddie what he wants to drink, and you can’t misplace the deepness of his voice, and the polite way he tells her that he’s fine for the evening. 

Cracking the top of the keg, you hook it up to the correct tap, shoving with all your might to get it in under the cabinet and slotted in properly. 

Spending more time than necessary below the bar, you avoid the warm chocolate eyes waiting for you up above. 

What were you supposed to say to him? Thank God you’re home? What the hell did he even want?  

An ant is huddled around a spilled drop of grenadine, you watch as it collects the sticky treat—what you wouldn’t give to switch places with the insect for a few hours. 

If one thing was certain you would need a little encouragement to make it through tonight and the haunting memories that shuddered through you every time you looked at Eddie.

Your purse was in the cubby over to the right, nimble fingers find the familiar plastic of the bottle, screwing off the top and clicking three pills into your hand. 

A greedy palm finds your lips, your eager tongue accepting the drugged gift. Swallowing without any liquid, your spit was more than enough to coat the tablets, watering upon knowing the relief you’ll be met with. 

More shouts and hollers boom through your ears, this time in celebration. 

“Where’d you go sweet cheeks? Need a round, Bobby just found out his girl isn’t pregnant!” 

Duty called, and you knew those dark eyes were still waiting for you, hide and seek was done for now, and in a few short minutes, you’d feel like you were flying. 

Boots planted firm on the sticky tiles, you push yourself up, fully expecting a litter of questions. But when you face him, he’s quiet. Silently watching your every move. 

Not in a way you’re watched by every other slimeball in this town, his eyes never once flicking over your curves or the deep v of your shirt. 

Eddie was admiring the woman you’d become. The shy girl he once knew was replaced by a force to be reckoned with. Did you become that way because he left? No longer having him around to stick up for you?

He pushed out those thoughts, thoughts of you alone. 

The way you fleetingly moved from drunk to drunk, collecting tips and pouring drinks, you were a natural. no longer the girl that was afraid of spiders and slept with a nightlight. What should have been a comfort in his heart stretched into an angry bruise against his soul. 

Warmth riddled your face into a smirk as you dug jabs back at the guys, making them pay up front before they tried to slink away to the back rooms. 

Eddie couldn’t miss how the smile never reached your eyes, that glassy lost look couldn’t fool him, another ping of guilt cutting through him like a knife. 

You were elbow deep in the warm water now, fingers pruned and slicked with soap when he finally speaks. The counter had cleared up enough that he wasn’t squashed between some greasy assholes, the regulars fighting to get to the best seats closest to the stage.  Tiffany on her second set of the night, her shiny heels spinning in the air to Girls, Girls, Girls. 

“So I’m a stranger now?”

Your fingers slip on the smooth surface of a glass and it hits the bottom of the sink with a thud at the sound of his voice, thankfully not breaking. Looking up, the smile fades as you stare back at him, fully allowing yourself to take him all in.  “what else would you be?” 

“Gee, I don’t know, Slick,” his hands twirl the rings on his left hand, “a friend.” 

Your laugh is filled without humor, sheer mockery as you shake your hands above the sink ridding them of suds and water. 

“Friend…” the scoff is thick in your throat, swallowing a ball of vomit before you continue, “that’s rich isn’t it?” 

“Clove..”

“…y’know…I had one of those once,” you say, eyes dead behind your irises, moving to the spouts of the draft beer, “at least I thought he was.” 

“Can we talk?” he pleads. 

“..think I’ve heard more than enough…” slapping down two heavy beers in front of him, you glare into muddy brown eyes, trying not to let yourself feel the pain in your chest, “these two are on the house.” 

Without a second glance or even a fuck you, you stomp towards the dressing room, leaving him sitting alone to sit alone at the bar, and for a split second you allow yourself to feel good it. His turn to be left in the dust this time. 

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#eddie munson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie fan fiction #eddie fanfiction #eddie fanfic #best friend eddie

[mother-above]

The Golden Warrior | Chapter 10

Azriel x Reader

Summary: To you, love was a poison that slowly killed. It was something that could make the strongest of warriors and leaders weak and vulnerable. You had successfully evaded romance and relationships for a century until the day you realized it had been plaguing you from within.

Chapters: 10/?

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: 18+ suggestiveness, swearing,fluff, and very stubborn characters

*masterlist*

Azriel despised going to Illyria. He hated dealing with the warlords and loathed dealing with Illyrian problems that wouldn’t even be there if the males weren’t misogynistic assholes. There were reports of wing clippings in a war camp at the edge of Illyria. Usually, Rhysand and Cassian would be the ones to deal with this, but Rhys was busy with Hewn City and Cassian was newly mated.

Azriel spent a total of four days and three nights in that camp interrogating and then eliminating all those who took part in the wing clippings. The shadowsinger did not hold back, he made sure the males that committed this crime were publicly held accountable. He paid a visit to the young girls, and it broke his heart to see them lying on their stomachs, their small wings tattered and unhealable. He wished you were there; he knew you’d be able to make the girls more comfortable and lift their spirits.

Your absence is another reason for Azriel’s irritable mood. It has been two months since he last saw you. Your letters were vague and gave no information about how you were doing. He asked to visit, and you came up with some bullshit excuse, he felt better when Feyre told him that you said the same thing to her but that didn’t stop Azriel from brooding. He almost sent his shadows to find out, but he knew you would find them, and he didn’t want to spend a whole week sick and throwing up into a toilet.

Azriel spent sleepless nights thinking about what you could be doing. Were you sleeping around trying to forget about Tarquin? Were you drowning yourself at work trying to forget about the battle? Were you doing both? Another thing causing Azriel’s constant surly mood was that he was needy. He wanted you all the time and when he slept, he would dream about your soft body underneath him. He would wake up upset that your body wasn’t entangled with his, his hands gripping your thighs. Pleasuring himself barely tapped the surface, he needed more, he needed you and he had no idea if you would ever kiss him again.

One time, it got so bad Azriel found himself in a pleasure hall in the middle of the night. It felt wrong being there, and just when he was going to turn around and go home, he felt a hand slip around his waist, in an aroused daze, he followed the female into a room. His shadows were screaming at him to stop, and when the female pressed her semi-clothed body against his, he ran over to the trash can and heaved into it. He apologized and then slipped into the shadows to get as far from her as possible. Azriel took a scalding bath and soaped and lathered his skin at least three times to get rid of the female's scent. He went to bed alone and ashamed. Even his shadows were upset at him and were nowhere to be found. That was the biggest reason Azriel took the job to deal with the wing clippings, he needed to punish himself for even thinking going to the pleasure hall was a good idea.

When the time came for Azriel to go back to Velaris, the violence Azriel unleashed at the camp did little to make him feel better. He was tense about anything and everything, he was halfway to Velaris when he felt a talon scrape against his mental shield.

Yes?

Even Azriel’s mental response was gruff.

We’re having a family dinner when you get home. Also… your mate is here at the House of Wind.

Why the hel didn’t you tell me sooner?

Surprise, purred Rhysand.

Azriel beat his wings faster. Rhysand had told him a few weeks back that you were having a tough time and Thesan was thinking about sending you to Night Court for a while. The frigid wind stung his face, but his body and wings were warmed up from the physical exertion, Azriel had never flown this fast before, he was desperate to see you. Minutes later, he passed by the wards protecting Velaris, his wings beating hard as he saw the twinkling House of Wind in his sight. He could feel your presence, you were so close, and his shadows chittered with glee.

He free-falls right above the House, his feet landing with such force the mountain shook. A chorus of hellos rang through the air, but Azriel heard nothing. His fierce gaze searched for yours and when he did, he felt his heart drop. Your eyes were tired, the dark circles on your skin emphasized that something was wrong. Your sizable feathered wings were nowhere to be found and you looked like you lost a bit of weight. What horrified Azriel the most was the absence of your radiance. Your skin looked just like his, ordinary, with no hint of a glow beneath it.

Azriel greeted his brothers and family, but he could barely keep his eyes off you. By the time he reached you, those in attendance were discreetly staring at the both of you. Even those who knew nothing of the bond could clearly see that something was happening between the two of you.

His tall figure towered over as he took in every new detail, and you were doing the same. Instinctively, your arms reached up and he met you halfway, his arms carefully encircling your waist as he hugged you. He wanted to cry out when he noticed how different your body felt, while still muscular, you felt strange and fragile. He breathed you in and even the smell of lilacs and sweet morning dew was dampened by the sharp bitterness of your power. He couldn’t believe how different you were, he swore to himself he would never leave your side again.

“Hi,” he said softly. “It’s good to see you.”

The sound of his voice sent a strange rush of reassurance through your body. Your usually tense muscles relaxed, and you found that horrible gnawing pit in your stomach had calmed.

“Hi,” you breathed out. “It’s nice to see you too.”

The two of you didn’t talk, you didn’t feel like you needed to. It was enough to stand there and be in each other’s presence. His shadows were ecstatic, they hovered around and gave you a look over, some felt protective, so they latched onto your shoulders and stayed there as you walked to the dining table.

The dinner was served family style, and the conversation was entertaining. Being the newcomer, you stayed quiet as you observed the dynamics between everyone at the table. Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, Morrigan, and Varian were by far the loudest and rowdiest. Everyone was quite cheerful; they were excited to have a new face in the house and you found yourself feeling comfortable in the unfamiliar environment. They made sure to include you in conversations, but they never pushed you too far.

The wine was flowing, thanks to Feyre who sat next to you constantly refilling your glass. The food was surprisingly good, you took a special interest in the chicken dish that you knew originated from Dawn Court. Azriel was delighted to see you reaching for seconds, he met eyes with Rhysand whose twitch of the lips told Azriel that he too was happy.

Her body knows that she’s safe and close to her mate.

Azriel nodded.

Rhysand had mentally filled him in that your trauma had made you lose interest in most things. Azriel discreetly simmered with anger because it seemed like everyone but he knew about your situation before he did. He was angry at Thesan and Rhys for not telling him that you were acting like this. Azriel hid his fury well; he refused to sour your seemingly content mood. What bothered him the most was the fact that he didn’t insist and tried harder to see you. He thought that giving you space was the best thing, you had gone through something traumatic, and he wanted you to be the one to reach out, but clearly, it wasn’t the best idea.

Once dinner was over, everyone moved to lounge in the living room and balcony. More wine and amber-colored liquor were poured, feeling in the mood to drink, you divulged and had a couple of glasses. It was strange to see Rhysand so informal, splayed out on the couch with Feyre’s feet on his lap. Morrigan wanted to go dancing and after no one wanted to go out, she huffed and flopped onto a floor cushion and declared that one night, she would get everyone in the room to party with her.

Feeling warm and slightly overwhelmed by Cassian’s drunken storytelling, you got up from the loveseat and headed to the balcony. You welcomed the cool air as you took in the sights of snowcapped mountains. You weren’t sure if it was the city lights that gleamed below you or the warmth of the liquor but for the first time in a while, you felt something other than dread. The tickle of a shadow around your ankle was the first thing you felt, your lips quirked up when you saw Azriel join you by the balcony.

“It’s beautiful here.”

Azriel sidled closer to you and leaned his forearms on the banister. “It’s my favorite place in the whole universe. I have a meeting in the morning but after, I’m free to show you around.”

“Thank you, but Feyre and Morrigan had already offered to give me a tour.”

Azriel clicked his tongue. “I’m sure I have better spots to show you. The best views require wings- “

You winced and he grimaced. His eyes land on the space behind your back. “I’m sorry. How are your wings? In your letters, you told me they were healed…”

You chewed your bottom lip and gazed at the city lights. “I haven’t been able to fly since the war. I tried taking off and I ended up faceplanting and fracturing my wrist. They’ve been glamoured since then.”

Azriel saw the pain in your eyes, and he felt awful. He wished he could help you like you’ve helped him. Without your healing, Azriel would’ve never flown again.

A breeze blew by and despite the warmth of the liquor, you shivered. Feeling bold, Azriel curled a wing around you, and shortly, warmth enveloped you as the mix of cedar and lilac filled both your senses. You hummed as you felt your body continue to relax, his warmth alluring enough to make you lean against him. The bond thrummed in Azriel’s chest; happy you chose to be close to him. He was near enough to pull you closer by the waist, but Azriel held back, it would have been too much for you.

“I can help you with the flying,” said Azriel softly.

You lifted your head and looked up to see that he was genuine. Callon and the other Peregryn’s were too scared to offer such services, scared that you would be offended. Once again resting your head against his shoulder, you slightly shook your head,

“Thank you for offering but I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“Okay,” he said, his voice so deep that it rumbled. “let me know when you’re ready. I’m here for you.”

You breathed deeply, inhaling morning dew and night mist, and felt at ease. It felt strange to feel this much comfort and safety, you don’t think you’ve felt these feelings since before the war with Hybern.

Turning to Azriel, you looked up into his warm green and honey-colored eyes. “I missed you. Sorry if my letters were short, I didn’t know what to say.”

He shrugged. “You’re here now, that’s what matters.” He didn’t think it would be this hard to act this nonchalantly. He cherished those letters no matter how vague they were, each letter you sent was tucked away in a safe spot on his office desk.

“I missed you too,” said Azriel, every emotion he had felt the past few months was poured into those four words.

You don’t know if it’s the liquor, his warmth, his scent, or the way he was looking at you but suddenly, your faces were only inches apart. You glanced at his lips and remembered how soft they felt and how he made you feel like you were floating. Acting on impulse, you go on your toes so you can reach him, and just as your lips are about to press against his, Cassian’s slurred voice cuts through the air.

“The Golden Warrior and the Spymaster!” said Cassian as he walked toward the two of you.

Eyes wide, you sprung away from Azriel and wrapped an arm around yourself. Your cheeks grew hot, and you refused to look at the shadowsinger. “I- uh, I think I’m going to head to my room now. Thank you for the dinner, good night,” you said hurriedly walking inside and past the others.

Once Azriel could hear you bounding up the stairs, a growl rumbled from his chest as he glared at his brother.

“What the fuck was that Cas?”

Cassian, who sobered up quickly, shrunk away and held his hands up. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you!”

Azriel stood there menacingly, everyone thought Azriel was going to punch him but instead, Azriel slipped into a shadow and disappeared.

Cassian stood there stunned and turned to see everyone in the living room glaring at him.

“If he hit you, I wouldn’t have stopped him,” said Nesta. “You would’ve deserved that.”

Mor and Amren were scowling while Rhysand and Feyre just sighed heavily. Varian, Elain, and Lucien looked at each other with wide eyes, this was a pair they never expected much to the disappointment of Elain.

Safely in your bedroom, you walked to the bathroom and looked at your flushed cheeks as you placed your fingers over your lips. You grimaced when you saw that the crimson color had made its way to your ears, a slight glow emitting from your skin.

“What the fuck,” you mumbled. “Don’t kiss your friends.”

Feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, you drew a bath and sat in the suds contemplating your first day in Night Court.

Azriel was lying on the floor in the middle of the training ring and it was cold, but he didn’t care. He was beating himself up for the almost kiss, he wasn’t sure if it was him who started leaning in or if it was both of you. He saw how startled you looked and now he’s scared that any progress that was made had regressed. He remembered Thesan’s advice to be patient with you, but Azriel was preparing himself for the reality that you may never feel the bond snap or if you decide to stay friends. That’s what Rhysand did with Feyre, he was patient and let her make all the choices.

Azriel would never force the bond on you, he wished and told the Mother above that he would take whatever role you wanted him to be. All he wants is for you to be in his life. After a few hours, the cold finally got to him, so Azriel went downstairs and walked quietly through the halls. He was about to enter his bedroom when he heard sniffles from the room across from him. The faint trace of lilacs made his jaw go slack.

Sneaky bastards thought Azriel.

The shadowsinger softly knocked on your door but he heard nothing but the sound of you crying even harder. His shadows were hissing at him to go to you and after a few seconds, Azriel slowly opened the door. Curled up on the right side of the bed was you sobbing in your sleep. He felt his heart drop as he watched your face contort in anguish, the tears streaming from your closed eyes. Quietly padding to your bedside, Azriel whispered your name, but it wasn’t enough. Feeling brave, Azriel rested his hand on your bare shoulder and shook you gently.

Waking up with a start, you snatched the hand that was on you and only relaxed when you saw that it was just Azriel.

“Are you okay? Your room is across from mine, and I heard you crying… I thought I should wake you.”

You sat up and rubbed your wet eyes. “I’m fine,” you said still disoriented.

Azriel awkwardly stood next to you. He did not think this through, now you were going to think he was strange for bursting into your room uninvited. He watched you blink back the tears and to his surprise, you reached over and patted the foot of the bed asking him to sit there.

He was pleased you wanted him to stay, as calmly as he could he nodded and sat on the edge, his feet planted on the floor as he turned to look at you. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going through a hard time? I would have taken time off work; I would’ve helped you.”

You shook your head as a frown formed. “That’s the thing, I don’t understand how everyone is acting like thousands of faeries didn’t die. In the beginning, I thought everyone was feeling what I felt, and I didn’t want to bother anyone. I don’t know how everyone moved on so fast, I feel responsible for every single Dawn Court death,” you said as your lips trembled. Hugging your knees, you looked at the Azriel, the faint faelight bright enough so you could see his silhouette. “If I was powerful enough, I could’ve taken more Hybern soldiers down, I could’ve saved more Prythian lives.”

“Please believe me when I say you were powerful enough, it just happened that you were up against the godsdamned Cauldron. Amren had to unbind herself and die to beat them.” Azriel shook his head, he restrained himself from wanting you in his arms and comforting you. “The first battle is the hardest, I locked myself in a cabin and was in a drunken stupor for a whole month until Cas and Rhys dragged me outside. I don’t think anyone moved on… we’re all clinging onto normalcy, so we aren’t consumed by the guilt of being lucky enough to survive. When you’re centuries years old, you learn how to deal with that heartache.”

You sat still and absorbed his words as you looked at the outlines of his wings, the scarred membrane so familiar to you.

“Sometimes I can still smell blood and hear the clanging of metal. I know it’s not real, but it scares me and it makes my blood run cold.” The very thought of those hallucinations gives you chills, the goosebumps littering the skin that your pajamas don’t cover. “Sometimes I get these nightmares, they’re not all about the war, sometimes it's things that happened in the past.”

Azriel stood up and reached over to grab the crumpled ends of the blankets and pulled to cover you. His warm hands brushing against your skin made a blush spread through your cheeks as you thanked him. He sat back down on the edge of the bed but this time, he was much closer to you, his wings brushing the side of your calf.

“What were you dreaming about?”

Your heart started to pound against your chest. Should you tell him that you were dreaming of the boy? Of him?

“I’ve been getting these reoccurring nightmares,” you said shakily. “It’s about a little boy locked in a dark cellar.”

Azriel’s face blanched, his heart pounding just like yours was.

“Tonight I watched these young boys pour oil on the little one’s hands and light them on fire. I couldn’t move to help him, it was like I was stuck in the shadows… gods I can still hear him scream,” you whispered, tears running down your face as the vivid dream replayed in your head. “I tried to help him but I couldn’t.”

Azriel was frozen, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Is this something mates experienced? Did they have dreams of each other? He watched as your puffy red eyes looked down at his hands that were clasped tightly on his lap.

“Az?”

“Yes, dove?”

There were a few moments of silence, the only thing heard was you and Azriel’s heartbeats.

“Are you the boy I’ve been dreaming about?”

He let out a long exhale. “I think so,” whispered Azriel. He waited for the bond to snap for you, the golden cord in his chest reaching out to the empty half. A few seconds later, there was nothing and disappointment flowed through him.

“That’s what happened to your hands then? Your brothers burned you?” Your breathing sped up, the confusion of why you were dreaming of Azriel overwhelming you. The painful images once again flooded your mind, your eyes squeezed shut as flashes of burned flesh, beheaded monsters, and ashes overtook your mind. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save them.”

You were hyperventilating and the tears streaming down your face no longer letting you see Azriel who was kneeling on the bed panicking about how to help you. Your mental state was too fragile, Azriel immediately felt bad for being frustrated with you. Reaching out, Azriel cradled your face with both hands and wiped your tears away.

“Breathe,” he said calmly. “Inhale and exhale slowly. Follow me.”

He led by example and then you follow by syncing your breaths.

“I’m so sorry,” you said as you placed your hands over his. The scars on top are rough against your palms. “What they did to you was horrible.”

“There was nothing you could have done to help me and that’s okay,” he said soothingly. “It happened so many years ago, and Cas and Rhys already punished them for it.”

“Why would I dream of you?” You said as your eyebrows furrowed.

His thumb that stroked your cheekbone lifted and moved to trace the jagged scar that ran above it. He couldn’t tell you now, not in this state. “I don’t know,” lied Azriel. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep? We can try to figure it out another day.”

Looking down at your pillow, you hesitated. You were exhausted but you were scared to close your eyes.

“Will you stay? Just until I fall asleep?”

“Y-yes,” stammered Azriel. “I can stay with you.”

Moving to the left side of the bed, you watched as Azriel tucked his wings in and laid on your pillow, the scent of lilacs filling his senses. A shy smile graced your lips and Azriel couldn’t help but reciprocate it. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

To both of your surprise, you found yourself reaching over to take his hand and placing it in the middle of the bed. You lightly traced the ridges of the marked skin, Azriel searched your face for any hint of disgust, but he found none, only pure curiosity. He relaxed as your fingertips ran over each knuckle and finger, the movements lulling him into a tranquil state. As if you were protecting him, you placed your hand over where the burns were concentrated. Azriel felt his heart swell, the gesture alone made his eyes glimmer, the golden bond in his chest thrumming in comfort and happiness. With your eyelids growing heavier by the second, you felt the smallest tug in your chest, and then blissful sleep took over.

***

The next morning, you were awakened by a knock on the door, and your eyes flew open to look at the other side of the bed. Judging by rumpled sheets and slight warmth, Azriel must have gotten up an hour ago. With your permission, Nuala floated in with her shadowy form and stood at the foot of the bed, a slight smile on her face as she took notice of the right side of the bed. A blush crept up your neck, you couldn’t believe you went to sleep holding Azriel’s hand.

Nuala asked you if you would like to be attended to, but you politely declined. You were Dawn Court royalty; Rhysand must’ve suspected you got ready with attendants but that only happened on special occasions. She leaves you with a few coats and cardigans lent by Mor and Feyre before leaving you to get ready.

Before using magic to make the bed, you stared at Azriel's side for a moment longer before going to the bathroom to get ready. You emerged dressed and ready for the day wearing linen pants and a wool sweater, your puffy eyes the only remnants of last night's crying.

You were the last to show up for breakfast, the only seat was between Azriel and Feyre. A chorus of “good mornings” filled the air and you responded, your lips slightly smiling when you caught Azriel’s eye, him trying and failing to hide the smirk. With a wave of Rhysand’s hand, breakfast dishes were placed on the center of the table. Without asking, Feyre is already pilling pancakes on your plate while Azriel spooned fruit on the side. A grateful smile graced your lips as they spoiled you, Nesta who sat across handed you the maple syrup.

The group called themselves the inner circle and you understood why, aside from you and the other newcomers on the table, Rhysand and the inner circle had been friends and rulers for five centuries. It was clear that they all loved and respected each other, and they extended the same courtesy to their new family and guests. They were talking about the Winter Solstice that was coming up in about two months, all the Courts held parties or rituals that day, it just so happens that Winter Solstice was Dawn Court's biggest celebration of the year.

You grimaced; you should’ve been planning things for the annual grand ball, but you had forgotten. Rhysand reassured you that Thesan had the ball covered but that didn’t ease the guilt you felt for being an inadequate second. For the rest of breakfast, you stayed quiet while blankly looking at your half-eaten pancakes. Cassian kept trying to coax a laugh out of you while Mor and Feyre tried getting you to talk about anything, but nothing worked. Your conscious was still preoccupied with punishing you for how useless you’ve been to your Court. Azriel gave his family a look and shook his head, silently telling them to drop the subject. Normally you would have been bantering with his family, but you weren’t okay.

After breakfast, you went to your room to get ready for your day out. You dressed in the thickest clothes you packed and clasped your sapphire necklace around your neck. You didn’t want to scare the citizens of Velaris with your power, the last time they felt dark magic was when Hybern attacked their city. You emerged from your room wearing a wool coat and went to the balcony where Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand were waiting to fly you all down.

Azriel approached with something dark blue in his hands. His brothers pretended to be in a conversation but really, they were snooping. He stopped when he was close enough to feel the heat radiating from you.

“Hi, sorry about last night, I got up just after the sun rose. I fell asleep and I didn’t wake up till the morning, I know I was only supposed to stay till you went to slee- “

“It’s okay,” you said quietly, your cheeks feeling hot. “I don’t mind. I should be the one embarrassed, I made you stay because I was scared. Thank you for staying.” You chuckled softly.

Azriel shook his head. “I didn’t mind at all, I’m just glad I could help you.” Before he could back out, he thrust the soft blue cloth toward you.

“What’s this?” Your fingers brushed against his as you grasped onto the cloth. Holding it up, you realize it was a beanie made of yarn. “Did you make this?”

Cassian and Rhysand looked at each other with wide eyes. They didn’t even bother faking a conversation, they stood there staring at each other solely communicating telepathically.

Azriel brushed his hands along his inky hair. “Um... yes, I did. It’s something I learned when Rhys was Under The Mountain, I found out it calms me when I get stressed. You don’t actually have to wear it or anything…I just thought that it might be helpful.”

A genuine smile spread across your lips, your eyes lighting up for the first time in a while. “It’s beautiful, this is exactly what I needed!”

You slipped the beanie around your head and ears and beamed up at Azriel who looked at you in awe. He couldn’t believe his mate was standing in front of him wearing something he made, the blended blue yarn matched the color of his siphons and your sapphires.

As you thanked him, Feyre, Mor, Nesta, and Elain arrived at the balcony at the same time, Rhysand had ordered them to stay inside until he permitted them. The ladies’ eyes flew to your head, they kept their cool but inside, they were grinning like a mad person. It was time to fly down, and you found yourself wanting Azriel to be the one to carry you. You sound ridiculous, you thought. With a smile, you asked Cassian to do the honors and he obliged, as he took off, you missed the apologetic smile he shot to Azriel who just landed on the balcony after bringing Mor down.

Since the males had a meeting with Azriel’s spies, the girls gave you a tour of Velaris. They showed you their favorite shops, the Sidra, and the Rainbow neighborhood which you immediately loved. Seeing the soft smile on your face, Feyre ordered molten chocolate for everyone as you all stood and watched the street musicians. You watched the children laugh and dance and you couldn’t help the tears in your eyes. Feyre, who was in a particularly playful mood, dragged her sisters closer and made them dance with her. Mor hooked her arm around yours and made you sway to the beat as you watched all kinds of faeries dance. These precious fae were what you helped protect in the war, you endured so much so they could have this. At that moment, that hollow feeling in your chest felt a little smaller.

Dawn Court had a city similar to this, it’s in the process of rebuilding but you knew that someday it would be just as cheerful as Velaris. You walked into a bookstore that the group must frequent a lot because the shopkeeper knew everyone’s name. They introduced you and the shopkeeper and patrons stared curiously. Despite wearing the necklace, the alluring darkness of your magic still lingered around you, your beauty drawing them in. The group dispersed to look for their genres, by the time you arrived at the romance section, Nesta was already there with books in her arms. You and Nesta laughed, and she even gave you a few recommendations. By the time you were to meet with the boys and Amren for lunch, you all had shopping bags filled with clothes and books.

Rhysand took you to his favorite restaurant, the view from the window was beautiful and the ambiance was refreshing. Azriel pulled out a chair for you to sit on and you bit back a smile when you saw he placed himself next to you. You were in a much better space after the great morning you had, you were able to laugh and chat a little bit with the group. Something you did notice was Lucien and Elain. They sat across from each other and Lucien would try to talk to Elain, his eyes pained when Elain gave him scraps. You sat near them so it was hard to ignore the couple, you could no longer take the awkwardness, so you pulled Lucien and Elain into a conversation. You asked him about Autumn Court and how he grew up and asked what it was like to grow up in the human territories. They both were grateful for your intervention, both proactively asking questions about yourself so they could avoid each other.

When everyone was watching Cassian and Nesta bicker, you took a sneaky glance at Elain and studied her and Lucien. Ignoring your mate seems cruel, you thought. This was why you hoped the bond hadn’t snapped for Tarquin, and you hoped it would never snap for you. You didn’t want Tarquin to go through this. Guilt ran through you at the thought of the male, but you couldn’t help it. It was cruel that he was your mate and you felt nothing for him.

After lunch, everyone goes their way, either to do more shopping, see a show at the theater, or run errands. It left you and Azriel alone to come up with your own plans. You don’t see it but Feyre shoots Azriel a thumbs up as his eyes shoot out daggers, begging his High Lady to stop. Azriel asked what you wanted to do, truthfully you wanted to lie down and sleep, but you were in a new city and a guest, it would be rude for you to mope around. You suggested walking around and Azriel nodded, happy that you wanted to do more.

Against your protests, Azriel carried your shopping bags, you only had two, but the male was insistent. He showed you his favorite spots in the city and even brought you to a blacksmith he liked. The shop was filled with knives, daggers, swords, and other metalwork. You liked his work so much, that you purchased this dagger with an obsidian blade and intricately carved hilt that you found in some random corner of the store. The price was hefty, but you had the money, and the dagger called to you, so you had to have it. Azriel smiled at your purchase, the dagger you chose was older than you and him combined, and the obsidian material was the same as his Truth-Teller.

Finally admitting you were tired, the two of you sat on the benches by the Sidra, the sound of the flowing water easing your weary mental state. A couple passed by you and Azriel, they’re holding hands and talking loudly in their own world. You watched how completely unaware they looked, if you threw a pebble at them, you don’t think they’d notice.

“You look like you want to shove that couple into the river,” chuckled Azriel.

“What makes you say that?”

Azriel poked the side of your downturned mouth. “Dove, you’re scowling at them.”

Realizing he was right, you huffed as you neutralized your expression.

“So I take it that you still hate love?” said Azriel. He emphasized the word so dramatically that a giggle escaped your lips.

Your gaze returned to the couple, they were laying out a picnic blanket, working in practiced tandem as they set their food up. It was cold outside, but it didn’t even look like it was bothering them, the mere presence of their significant other was enough to warm them thoroughly.

“I don’t hate love… I just have a problem with what it’ll do to someone. Look what it did to my parents…”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” interrupted Azriel. You were supposed to be getting better, not reliving your painful past.

“It’s alright, I can talk about them. My mother was the second-born of High Lord Lydo, her older brother was Thesan’s father. She was also a powerful healer, she had a specialty with bones, and she could fix any break. My father was the Peregryn Commander, and he was fierce and strong, and everyone was afraid of him. They were married and mates, so in love and inseparable to the point their top priority was each other and I was always second. When I was a teenager, an enemy of the Court had captured my father. No one was having luck finding him and my mother wanted to search for him, but I begged her not to go. I had this horrible feeling in my stomach that something bad was going to happen, but she was so distraught that she ignored me. She led a search party and that was the last time I saw her alive. A few days later, soldiers came back to Dawn carrying their bodies. I was 16 years old when this happened,” you said fiddling with your fingers.

The shadows swarmed around you, feeling your distress, and intertwined themselves in your hands.

“Growing up, my parents loved each other more than they loved me. My mom chose to go and left me behind. Some may think I’m selfish for holding a grudge for this long, but I can’t help it. We had our best warriors and spies searching for my father, yet my mother chose to leave me behind knowing the risks. I think that’s selfish.”

Azriel gaped at you, he was in pure disbelief. No wonder you were the way you were, you’ve been angry and bitter for years.

“Two incredibly powerful people, yet their bond made them vulnerable. That’s why they’re dead. They put each other over their duties. Over me,” you paused to control your trembling voice. “To me, that’s abhorrent, it’s weakness.”

Azriel was quiet for a long time, his handsome face twisted into a frown as he absorbed all the information you gave him. “You don’t have to be like your parents. I’ve seen mated couples do a phenomenal job at keeping a balance between work and their life. Look at Feyre and Rhys, they’re doing great.”

It was hard to do with all your layers on, but you turned to the side and brought your legs up to lean on the bench. Fully facing Azriel, you looked at him thoughtfully “You’re a warrior and spy, I’m sure you know how hard it can be to focus when your family and friends are on the battlefield, how much more distracting is it when your lover is out there too?”

Azriel’s head cocked to the side. “Yes, there’s a risk of being distracted but I think it’s the opposite,” he said carefully planning his words. “I think knowing someone out there is waiting for you… protects you. It makes you fight harder because you know you must go home, it’s not an option to die on the battlefield.”

You nodded as you tried to understand what he meant. Your memories flashed back to seeing Azriel fighting on the battlefield. “It’s too much distraction, all it takes is one bad split decision and then everything goes to shit!”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

You slammed your hands onto the wood beneath, your mood switching up once again as your words spit out like fire. “Because of you, you idiot! I saw you on the battlefield and some creature came up from behind and you didn’t notice. That millisecond it took to decide to help you, led to me getting stabbed and almost having my wing ripped off! Now I can’t even fucking fly because that's what happens when you get distracted, Azriel!”

You were panting and didn’t realize you were standing up and you didn’t even care that other fae were staring.

Azriel gawked at you, his mouth opening and closing. When words failed, he just stared at you in silence as you slumped down and covered your face with your hands. Azriel felt guilt creep up, he had no idea that’s what happened.

You were in a daze; you didn’t even realize how much you cared about the shadowsinger until now. The shock on his handsome face seared behind your closed eyes. Your chest burned and you didn’t know what to do, how did you not realize you were beginning to care for Azriel in that way?

You stood up and picked up your shopping bags, without looking him in the eye you said, “Can we go back to the house?”

Azriel was stunned. You had just admitted that you cared for him in a way that scared you. By the looks of your reaction, he didn’t want to do or say anything that would agitate you more. He knew he was treading on a fine line; this was something you needed to deal with yourself, and it was you who had to come to terms with your feelings.

“Okay,” he said as quietly and gently as possible.

He waited for you to wrap your arms around his neck before he scooped you up, his arms under your knees and back. He unfurled his wings and shot up to the skin. Your embrace was tight as you watched the city shrink, you looked out to the surrounding mountains and pain flooded your mind. Your emotions made your magic struggle against the sapphires that dampened it. You were confused about your emotions and now you were being reminded of why you should never let them get in the way.

If only your wings worked, you’d be able to explore these mountains yourself and escape your thoughts. Feeling defeated, you closed your eyes and leaned on Azriel’s chest as exhaustion took over.

Azriel spoke up not being able to deal with how much anguish you were in. “You’ll fly again. I was serious when I said I would help you.”

You nodded as tears escaped, a shadow chittered and caressed your face.

a/n: Thank you for reading! lmk what you think, lets fangirl down in the comments!

taglist❤️: @inloveallthetime , @phoenix666stuff, @books-and-lit

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #acotar fanfiction #acotar x y/n #azriel fanfiction #azriel angst #acotar #acotar x reader

[rustedhearts]

my funny valentine (steve harrington x fem!reader)

summary: the hand-written evidence of an affair between high school sweethearts, displaced and reunited after war.

uses she/her pronouns and female anatomy.

♡ the library

♡ the record store

tags: “darling” used as reader insert name; infidelity; mention of war/violence; darling + steve are 35 at the time these letters are written. the time skip signifies lost letters (as they might, in actuality, get lost over the years)

"you make me smile with my heart...stay little valentine, please stay. each day is valentine's day."

— my funny valentine, ella fitzgerald

May 22nd, 1961

My Darling,

Please excuse this intrusion….I got your address from a neighbor. It was so lovely to see you today. I just couldn’t stand the thought of going one more moment without speaking more to you.

I couldn’t believe you thought me lost to you. Though, I cannot blame you for this train of thought. I was gone so long. It was silly to believe you would have waited all your life. Two years was long enough….I don’t blame you for moving on. But did you need to move to London? My Darling, it’s so far from home. I can excuse the new husband given my absence and its circumstance, but the distance will not do.

Nevertheless, I’m rambling. What I truly wanted to say, what I have longed to say since I boarded that train, and what I have wanted to say all day since seeing you on that wet little park bench in your fur coat….I still love you with all my heart. Is there any chance you still love me, too?

Yours,

Steve Harrington

May 24th, 1961

Sweet Steve,

Of course I still love you. You can imagine how confusing a feeling this is to me. Given the circumstance of a loving, successful husband found after such a long mourning period in which I now ponder the merit of….how could I still love you? It goes against all good graces which that of Almighty God intends for me.

But it doesn’t change the way my heart soars for you. The way it did when I saw you approach from across the pond in that tattered coat you’re still clinging to. Your hair is longer. I find it handsome.

I feel a sting of wrongdoing course through me as I etch these words down. Though I love you, Steve, we must not continue to write. Please tell me once what you endured, and then never more. I must have the answers I went so long without. I am allowing myself this selfishness.

However, when the tale is done, I cannot allow myself the selfishness of going on. My life has altered greatly since our time together, and my duties and responsibilities now lie elsewhere. I hope you can understand.

Sincerely,

Darling

May 30th, 1961

Darling girl,

I will begin first by disregarding the words that pierced me so. I will find it difficult to post this letter and think of it as the last of mine that you will ever read. Perhaps, by the end of it, you will have changed your mind.

When I left for Germany, it was as though we were thrown to the wolves. Peril and anguish and torment were all we knew. Myself, the men boys I fought with. We were all so young. Eighteen, twenty, the youngest seventeen. I cannot explain to you the horror of watching a young man’s arm blown off.

But you do not want to hear this. You want to hear of matters obtaining to you, of course. Answers you asked for and answers you shall retain. You’ve waited long enough.

When I returned to America two months after D-Day, I was bodily unscathed but no longer the man you knew. I found myself bound to fits of emotional and physical violence. Days of hysteria and madness that alarmed even my hostess. I was in no fit state to see you. I was, as well, thousands of miles away in California. So, when we were told to board for our way home, I did not go.

California was far enough that you could not find me and the man I had become.

My Darling, I wish I had sweeter excuses than these. I wish I could scrawl something of manly note, but…I owe you honesty. This, my sweet dear, is the honest truth. I was a hollow shell of the man you once knew. And I was afraid to return home to you.

Time in California fell like a whirlpool. A year had passed, and then two. By the time I had some handle on my fits, had worked through my madness and set home for you, you were gone. Your mother said ‘off to London,‘ and with a new beau to accompany you. A husband.

Something I was supposed to be.

Where I failed, I suppose he thrived. I hope you are happy, sweet girl.

Please, feel obliged to reply.

Yours still,

Steve

June 12th, 1961

Steve,

You always knew just how to sweeten the bitterness of goodbye. So much sweetness that I grow too sick to move through with it. Alas, that is why I’ve picked up my pen to write again. Curse you, Steve Harrington. You have such hold over me.

Now, I think it only right that I answer the questions you have not asked, but that I know you are curious of. Reggie is my husband, and we met two summers after the end of the war. I went so long pale and sick with grief, thinking I lost you to Heaven. I had come to terms with this, buried any idea that you might come home.

Reggie was a businessman, in town for dealings. He hails from London, which is the swift explanation for my immigration here. Our love was quick and easy, and when he asked me to marry him on our fifth date, I had no reason not to say yes. You were, in the mind of a young girl engaged to a soldier that did not come home, gone. There was no vow or promise being broken.

I would, however, be breaking all promises of honesty under God if I were to say I have not thought of you in these past years.

I feel an indescribable ache for your suffering, and all the suffering of young men in a similar state to yours. I take your words as oath, as I promised to do so many years ago...which is why I can assure that my heart weeps for you so. Not just for your suffering, but for your company. I think it always might.

Might we allow ourselves one more act of selfishness? An act in the park, Sunday afternoon?

Please return soon.

Darling

June 14th, 1961 Darling,

I would be happy to oblige you in the park on Sunday. Will 2:00 do? Though, you were always an admirer of early morning strolls. Perhaps 10? You always did love a bird call.

Every post from you makes my heart soar, Darling. Did you know? The prospect of keeping your company for even a few hours has me yearning for a busy week, if only to keep the impatience at bay. I meant it truly when I wished your happiness. Fondly, Steve

June 15th, 1961

Steve,

Yes, 10:00 will do. I will be there, wearing my fur coat.

Eagerly awaiting,

Darling

June 20th, 1961 My Darling, Oh I cannot scrub my mind free of this torment. Our act of selfishness I knew to be tempting, but now I am delirious. If I thought my need for you was strong before, it is insufferably so now. You were so beautiful in your coat, in your plum dress. The color compliments your skin so well. I have not seen your eyes that closely in years. Only in photographs, that I horde and selfishly admire in the depths of dark nights, have I seen those eyes of late. And now here they were, staring up at me. With such blatant love as they did once before. Yes, my Darling, I saw all of it there. Are we to go on lying to ourselves, saying we're better off? Our time has passed, it has been so long, yes. Yes, I know it. But I know also that I cannot go another day without making up for the time lost between. Darling girl, please be selfish with me. Please live our days selfishly for as long as we might have. Yours, Steve

June 22nd, 1961

Steve,

I pride myself for honesty, so I will satisfy you with my brief agreement. My heart thumped so wildly in the park on Sunday that I thought it might break free from my body. Would you catch it in your hands if it had? Would you crush it? Oh, Steve, it has always belonged to your hands. The love you detected was not an illusion. It never died, not even across the sea.

Yet, what of Reggie? I love him dearly, as well, though maybe never quite like I did you. He is, nevertheless, my husband. We have grown to live such a wonderful life. And yes, we cannot have children, but we are finding ways to fill this void. The void will only grow, I fear, if I continue to be selfish with you. I will find new gaps and black holes in our life together, and I cannot be unhappy in a marriage that is sufficiently content.

Please do not ask this of me. My heart cannot bear to say no.

Yours,

Darling

June 24th, 1961 Darling, I know you are frightened, but might our love be stronger than this fear? Please do not deny me, I might break entirely apart. Do you not see the predicament we are in? To lose so many years, yet find each other in a completely different part of the world from where we were born. Is it not an act of God stringing us together again? One night, my sweet Darling. If not an eternity as we once intended, one night will suffice. Please do not say no. Yours waiting, Steve

June 27th, 1961

Sweet Steve,

I have been awake for days, ailing over your proposal. Know I do not intend to make any decision without a full realization of every consequence. To deny you would leave me with an ache like no other forever plagued on my heart. To accept, I would part ways with the very peace of mind that my marriage is pure of all faults as it is now, and was before you.

Attach the address of your hotel.

Yours,

Darling

June 29th, 1961 Oh my Darling, I believe I read over your words so frequently and at such a swift pace that my eyes are still sore. Attached is the address of my stay, and know I will be waiting no matter the hour. Come as you please, whenever you wish. I will be at the door. To hold you in my arms again is all I can live for in the hours between. Yours, Steve

July 3rd, 1961

Steve,

The loveliest of nights has passed between us, and yet I feel sick with the wrongness of our sheer audacity. Entangled in your arms, wrapped in those cotton sheets just feeling your breath and your flesh as it always was...I cannot think of a better mercy. For our suffering, for our loss. But will I obtain God's forgiveness when the day is to come? For what I have done to Reggie, I think this always a stain on my conscience.

Yet, some sort of delirium has come over me since that night. I seem incapable of clear thinking. If it is stained, let it be stained.

Please write to the attached P.O box from now on. I cannot risk interception, but I cannot risk a silence from you.

My darling Steve, will you stay?

Yours entirely,

Darling

July 5th, 1961 Darling, You cannot fathom how long I have waited to hear these words. Yes, I will stay. Yes, I will be yours, if you shall be mine. The hours allowed to us are the brightest of my days. I will find permanent residence somewhere in traveling distance so long as it allows me proximity to your love. Please come soon. I miss you terribly. Love, Steve

September 19th, 1961 Darling, You were upset last we parted, and my wish to quell your ailing grows stronger by the hour. I have grown to know your marriage and your Reggie as you have told, and I know now he cannot make you happy. I could make you happy, delightfully happy. The children you have always wanted are in our future, I know this is true. Please, change your mind and say yes, and we can have it. The future you crave, the future you deserve. Adventure, and intrigue, and passion that he cannot fathom. I have stared into the depths of your soul, and have bared all parts of my own. Can you say the same of him? Please, my Darling girl. I only think of you. Yours, Steve

September 22nd, 1961

Steve,

It is with aching eyes and a sore, sinking heart that I have prepared this for you. Know the walk to post it felt like a march to the death. In some way, this is death. Part of me, sealed away by your sweet kisses, and tender touches, and all those long hours whispering secrets in the dark. Part of me will always live in these moments, and that part of me has died.

I cannot leave Reggie, and your request of such leaves nowhere for our selfishness to go. We must not go on like this. Not if we are to live full and fulfilling lives without secret and pain. It is too much for one heart to bear. Were we to go on, it would kill me entirely. I must sacrifice a small part to save the whole. Oh, my love, I hope you understand. I hope you can forgive me.

Yours, now and always,

Darling

#rolly! #steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington angst #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington au #steve harrington hurt/comfort #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 7 all chapters

I knew the pleasure of vexing and soothing him by turns; it was one I chiefly delighted in.

–Jane on Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

-It's no real mystery, why you dig out your beloved old copy of Jane Eyre. From the early 1900s, it had seen better days when you’d scored it in the local used book store, many years ago. You’d been a teenager then—and those days were long behind you. It seems you never outgrew your liking of a dark and broody anti-hero.

It’s safer to read about it though, than pursue the real thing.

Lately every time Mr. Wick comes into the shop you feel slightly agitated, as though you don’t quite fit into your own skin. You remember the sensation of his fingertips on yours, like a burn.

Mr. Wick sees you reading your tattered novel on your break, but doesn’t comment. You’ve seen him with old classics in hand and reckon he must be something of an aficionado.  

You put it away in your shoulder bag in the back after the break.

The next day, it’s gone.

You know you left it in your bag. Where the fuck could it have gone? Why would someone fucking steal it?

A couple of weeks later, it reappears on the counter by the register you favor.

You hardly recognize it at first, for it has received an encompassing makeover. It has new leather covers with gorgeous embossed gold lettering, and marbled end papers, and the tattered thread of the binding repaired. There are gilded arabesques on the spine and delicately drawn climbing flowers on the cover. You wouldn’t have even thought it the same book, if not for the intricately printed title page unique to your edition, with an old pencil mark in the corner you recognize.

Such a restoration would have cost a fortune.

You knew, because you’d looked into it.  

Further compounding the mystery, there is a beautiful jacquard embroidered ribbon bookmark inside. It’s on the page where Rochester has sat Jane down in the arbor, and is telling her that she has rejuvenated him from his unhappy existence without actually admitting anything, asking in the most roundabout way possible if it would be so very bad to take a second wife who would make him a new man, while his first is still living, the big idiot.

“Is the wandering and sinful, but now re-seeking and repentant, man justified in daring the world’s opinion, in order to attach to him for ever this gentle, gracious, genial stranger, thereby securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life?”

Jane tells him, of course, that a man shouldn’t base his redemption on another person, but within himself. You are not sure you would have had the strength to speak so frankly to a man you secretly loved.

Well, maybe you would.

You are utterly mystified by the whole thing, to say the least.

But later, you are browsing the local book store, and the owner is reading Anna Karenina in what looks like freshly bound leather. The style looks familiar.

“Did you have that restored?” you ask, feeling like Nancy Drew hot on the trail of a fresh lead.

“Yeah, that new guy in town, John Wick did it for me. He says he’s just a hobbyist, but he does amazing work. Usually you have to send off to Florence for quality like this, seriously. It’s a dying art.”

Darren lets you look at the book, and you are impressed by the craftsmanship.

The spine decoration matches yours. There is a plate in the back that proclaims: Bound by John Wick.

The sneak.

You are touched to the tips of your toes, your heart filled with butterflies. Was the bookmark purposely left on that page, or just a random placement?

You hardly dare hope, and tell yourself it’s an invention of your own fancy. The gift of the book is magnificent enough. No need to further muddle things with secret communications that aren’t really there.

The next day you approach Mr. Wick’s table with hands on your hips, affecting annoyance. “You stole my book.”

He actually has the grace to look sheepish about it, casting those lovely dark eyes downwards.

“Yeah.”

“Thanks. I really love it.” It’s the understatement of the century.

He looks up through his hair, the surprised sparkle in his eyes taking your breath away. Suddenly, he looks ten years younger.  

“Yeah?”

The corners of your mouth twitch. This man speaks like he’s paying five cents per word, you swear. “Yeah. Why didn’t you tell me you bind books?”

He just shrugs, and you cannot help but laugh.

“I’ve never owned anything so fine. Thank you, truly.”

 He nods again, and you sense that you’re maybe making him uncomfortable with your gratitude. You suspect it’s not why he did it at all.

“Will you show me sometime? How you do it?”

There is a flash of something dark in his eyes before he turns his attention back down to his own book. It feels like dismissal, but you have no idea what he’s hiding underneath it all.

Still waters run deep.

“Anytime you want,” he offers as you turn to go.  

You smile at him over your shoulder as you go back to your station, a secret lightness fluttering in your heart. On your break you flip through your refurbished book once more, taking even more pleasure in it knowing that John poured over every detail of it. You don’t know much about bookbinding or leather work, but you suspect he freehanded the little flowers on the front, and that moves you to your toes.

You flip to one of your favorite scenes because you find it so funny, when Jane puts out the fire that nearly burned Rochester up in his sleep, because undoubtedly he’d drank too much earlier to easily rouse, the lovesick scoundrel. Afterwards he doesn’t want her to leave but can’t outright keep her in his room without behaving an absolute blackguard.

“Strange energy was in his voice, strange fire in his look.”

You cannot help but glance up at your tall dark bookworm in the corner, an aching warmth spreading in your heart for the sight of his furrowed brow, his concentration (you think) focused on the tome in his hands.

You know you are a ridiculous thing.

#john wick #john wick x you #john wick x reader #john wick x y/n #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves #john wick fic #bittersweet john wick imagine #yandere john wick #yandere! john wick #yandere john wick x you #i nerded out so hard on this chapter im soorrryyyyy!!! #jane eyre

[hoyowomentournament]

Semifinals: Collei vs Furina

(Propaganda under the cut)

Collei:

MY DEADALIVEGIRL!!!!!!!!!! i genuinely don't even know where to start. collei is such a beautiful beautiful character who's entire story revolves around a girl who's been dehumanized and exploited for her entire life, healing through compassion and a recognition of her own humanity. first of all, when we meet collei in the genshin manhua, she is full of vitriolic anger and hate at both the world and herself. she's been dehumanized over and over and over again and because its a repetitive experience, she fully believes that her lack of worth is something innately true. this only changes when someone (amber) shows her unrelenting compassion and trust. amber goes against everything that collei believed about herself. amber tells her that she is not only capable of good, but she is good. amber reinforces this novel idea that collei deserves goodness. and that realization is the moment that collei begins recognizing her own humanity, and thus, recognizing her own potential to grow, heal, and be the good person that amber knows she is. every moment thus forth is a demonstration of her attempts to grow and be kind!!!! she decides to go through with cyno's sealing ritual even with its conditions! she asks lisa to help her write a letter at the end of the manhua! she mends amber's tattered clothes like she promised! she decides to go to sumeru, a land of wisdom! it's so pertinent to her character that she gains her vision (representative of her ambition) during a show of compassion (protecting a child during a dangerous storm)! it's even in her symbolism with the way she's constantly referred to as a sproutling. NOT EVEN MENTIONING HOW THE REBIRTH METAPHOR THATS APPLIED TO HER CHARACTER (re: sprout of rebirth, revived serval, cyno and anubis and their ritual) IS SO DEEPLY CONNECTED TO SUMERU (her being the first sumeru character we know of and having that rebirth metaphor hinted at in the manhua! that rebirth metaphor carrying over to the actual sumeru plot w nahida! the rebirth metaphor tying in with the snake and cat symbolism that she and the archon residue complete!!!!!!) she's just such a loaded character!! AND collei's one of the few genshin characters with canonical cptsd who has identifiable and realistically common triggers. most importantly, the game acknowledges that its there and in spite of that, shows her resilience in still trying and healing!!!! my disabled deadalive mummygirl i love her so bad.

Furina:

the girl who saved fontaine. condemned herself to a life of silent pain and suffering without any warning or preparation. she could confide in no one, seek out help from no one, all while bearing the weight of her entire nation on her shoulders. not only did her willpower save everyone in fontaine, but after the prophecy was averted, she was finally allowed to live a normal life.

#hoyoverse women tournament #hoyoverse #tournament poll #genshin impact #genshin #collei #genshin collei #furina

[2kmps]

BOUNTY

hot outlaw x engineer!reader | 2.8k

story summary; shortly following the death of your mother, you come to learn that you're the illegitimate offspring of a railroad tycoon with insurmountable wealth and power meant to inherit it all. after a hasty departure from home to begin your journey across the continent of san-am, your train is stopped and boarded by a mysterious man in black tatters who claims to be there kill you.

story warnings; mentions of death, mention of bodily fluids and excrement, heavy worldbuilding, mentions of conspiracy to murder, kidnapping, neo-western setting, old-west slang used, usage of unique slang, not really proofread or edited, concept piece for a much larger project.

if you enjoyed, please interact & reblog this post!! ❣️

Mother died a week before the lawyer showed up on your doorstep with an inheritance letter and half-hearted condolences for your absentee father’s poor prognosis. A day after that, your life was stowed into a pair of suitcases and a heavier hard case that you barely justified bringing aboard the train. In three weeks and three layovers, you would be across the continent in St. Corpus, the industrial heart of San-Am, where your father awaited you on his deathbed.

Horace Grissom had fathered a new age of industry and outward expansion in lands once believed to be sprawling metropolises centuries long gone. They had been left behind as skeletons of steel and rust from a time of global war, reclaimed in totality by the roots of elder trees, the decay of salt and sea, the precarious will of mountains, and the great sinkholes and corrosion of sand and time.

Traces of that old world had survived thanks in part to the rigorous efforts of archaeologists and conservationists at the University of San-Am in Grimerise. With each new discovery, opportunistic vultures like your father blotted their pens to their tongues to their pocketbooks and readied themselves to own the patent of it like history had a price and could only belong to them. Indeed, anything could be bought, because with those fragments of history, he built the San-Am Continental Railroad which crossed through each of the five territories and was considered the premier way to travel. 

You were never allowed to ask questions about Horace under Mother’s roof as the very mention of his name would set her ablaze in some pettish, garrulous tantrum that, oftentimes, ended with you going to bed before dusk without dinner until the next day. She loved that bitterness up until the very moment she died, clawing your clothes, your skin, her nightgown, her own throat because she couldn't breathe and there was nothing you could do to save her from succumbing.

“Go in peace, Mother.” you said, kissing the back of her sun-speckled hand even as she tried digging her nails into your face. “I love you.”

She did not waste peacefully, nor did she end by staring up rapturously at the ceiling as though something else waited for her beyond it. Mother passed in blood, vomit, excrement, and all her hatred while you bade her farewell and considered who was best to call to have her body carted away to burn with all the others that had also succumbed that day. You made sure to label that as the cause of death on the official paperwork.

After that, you had made quick work of piling all of her things into boxes to be incinerated as well, certified the house was safe and in a liveable state (besides her old mattress, which was the first thing you disposed of because of the smell) for another family to move into. 

Once all of that had been finished and you gained the time to rest, you got a knock at your door, a bald, sinewy man with a round hat claiming to be Joseph Whitwald—estate planning lawyer, he made sure to specify more than once—and that you needed to leave post haste to your father's estate in St. Corpus before he perished.

“You have significant placement in his will, illegitimate or not. This is what he wanted, this is what shall be done,” said Whitwald assuredly as he rooted through the pockets of his pants and white suit vest for something. He found it and made a sound and a flourish, revealing to you a red ticket. “Take this. It's for one of the elite cabins in first class. Your father wanted you to have the best amenities that the San-Am Continental has to offer.”

Even with such luxuries available to you with the sound of a bell on string, you eventually found yourself exchanging tickets with a young woman traveling solo for the first time. She went red in the eyes, asserted her appreciation, and scooped you into a hug before taking the ticket and her belongings to the first car. 

The passenger car was considerably noisier with children running amok, drunks and musicians belting tunes while dancing in the center aisle—doing poorly to keep their balance as the train navigated the terrain beneath the rails, and ladies in bustles and fashionable blouses screaming like hens over fresh gossip. The stewards were frustrated that they couldn't get their trolleys through all the bodies, whereas some passengers let their stomachs roar through their mouths as they assailed anyone nearby (especially the poor lads just trying to deliver food) with complaints.

You liked everything happening around you; it was a good distraction from the way life had twisted your arm behind your back. The cacophony of laughter and anger felt like home, a comfortable companion to sit there with you on the empty, thinly padded benches while you stared uselessly at the inheritance papers—uncomprehending.

A gasp shot up your throat and made you bite your tongue as you were launched forward onto the adjacent bench (also empty) when the train suddenly began to slow—brakes engaged with such quickness that the wood beams under your feet vibrated up through your soles into your bones and teeth and skull until you became lightheaded and collapsed back into your seat. 

The squeal and grind of steel worsened your confusion, turned the fuzz in your head into dull drumming—aches that pulsed to a beat you couldn't figure out, but it deadened the screams all around you and bodies hitting the floorboards in thunderous heaps. 

And then, there was silence. 

The other passengers kept their voices low as they climbed back into their seats, children were smothered deep into their mother’s bosoms as they wept, and no one dared to investigate what had brought the train to such a violent stop.

“Mummy, what's happening?” asked a girl from the benches behind you. She couldn't have been older than ten, from the sound of her. “Mummy, why—”

“Lottie!” the mother hissed at her daughter, “Shhh! Say nothing else, child.”  

From a few seats away, closer to the front, you recognized the gruff, muddled voice from one of the drunkards who had been dancing in the aisle a while ago. Now, he had a bloody nose and a nasty knot growing on his forehead.

“What the hell is the big idea of them scarin’ the piss outta us like this? Do you see my face? They gonna do somethin’ to fix it?” he complained, then swigged liquor from a flask he had smuggled on. “I should go up there and give ‘em a piece of my mind. Bastards.”

“Peace, friend,” soothed a musician with an unfamiliar accent and stringed instrument. “Don't be hasty. I'm sure there’s a good reason why they had to stop. Let them find a solution, we’re just here for the ride.”

Just as the chatter was rising up again, commotion from the first class car stifled it hard, prompting some folks to abandon their seats near the door separating the cars to crowd into the rear. You were tempted to flee with them, join their pack so if they were going to find a way off the train, you'd be mixed up in their stampede and have a better chance to get away.

Except, you simply packed away your inheritance paperwork and sat there with your chin tucked to the collarbone, the visor of your baseball cap pulled lower over your sunglasses to seem as nondescript as possible. Meanwhile, the sounds from first class grew intense; glass shattered, passengers screamed and shuffled around, something you knew to be true because you felt the floor rumble under your feet again.

And then, the passenger car door slid open without the ferocity you had expected. The door scraped along its metal rail, allowing the body to pass through in heavy, languid steps. You paced your breaths to hear it all; the boots and clinking spurs striking wood with dull thuds, a baritone hum that you were convinced you could feel reverberate in your own chest as it came closer, the scuff of thick fabric and creaking leather. 

You waited for it all to pass, to move on like a slow-moving rain cloud amidst a humid summer day, but it stopped at you instead. The tips of the man's boots were within view, as were slithers of tattered, black fabric from a long duster that fell short of his shins. 

And then, there was the barrel of a gun. The breaths you had been holding shivered out of you, cold dread sank deep into your stomach and bones as the gun flicked upward a few times.

You obeyed and raised your head up to look at the man—tall, broad-shouldered, a rugged face with dark features mostly obscured by the shadow of his wide rim. 

He tilted his head, gun higher as he flicked it down and you understood that to mean to take off your sunglasses. When you did so, offering him a full view of your face, his lips lifted crookedly into a half-smile.

“Well then,” he took the bench adjacent to you before holding something up to your head, seemingly a piece of paper, and shifted his gaze between you and it just twice. “Aren't you something special? Found you, darlin’.”

“What?” you frowned. “Found me?”

“Yeah, the resemblance is uncanny. You're definitely his kid. It's all in the eyes, really.” He said, turning the paper around to reveal a photograph of a man who you did share an eerie likeness to. It was the sameness in the eyes—the color and shape and emotion they evoked through a simple still image. “Horace Grissom had an illegitimate kid a long time ago. Turns out, not everyone is so pleased for that to become public knowledge. Turns out, someone wants you to bite the ground.”

“I've done nothing wrong!” you bristled.

He settled on the bench and hiked an arm up across the back of it. “That's usually how it goes, hun. Puttin’ holes in types like you really ain't my favorite thing to do. You'd be surprised how many people get put in your exact situation. Well, eh, not quite. ‘Cause not everyone is Horace Grissom’s kid.”

“Who hired you?” you demanded. 

His lopsided smile remained. “Can't tell you that, darlin’. Confidentiality an’ all that.”

“So, then, you're a bounty hunter?” At this point, you weren't sure if you were trying to stave off an inevitability, or he had just riled you up that badly. “How much are you getting?”

“Enough to live the high-life for quite a while, I'd say.” He continued, “but I ain't no bounty hunter. Them folks gotta play by rulebooks an’ a bunch of codes and whatever. Not my thing.” 

“A criminal, then,” you said. “An outlaw.”

He shifted the rim of his hat away from his eyes and leaned towards a pillar of golden, midmorning sunlight that came in through the window. “Sure, if that's what'll make you feel better about this entire thing.”

You could actually see him now—the contrast between the ambery hue in his rich complexion and pale green of his eyes. His skin had some weather to it, enough to prove that he had seen the worst of every season for years on end without it wearing him thin, along with thoroughly kempt hair on his face and loose waves that draped slightly beyond his shoulders. 

“I…” the longer he stared at you, the less you were able to think. That was ridiculous considering you had survived the soul-crushing burden of engineering school and all of the personalities therein. “I can offer you something better than what you were hired for.”

He did a fast sweep of the colossal heaps of fabric hanging from your frame, a style you preferred to keep eyes off of you on the best and worst of days. It didn't do much to deter him as it did others. 

“Oh, yeah? Whaddya got, hun?” 

You lifted your shoulders and stacked your bones right. “I've got a vast inheritance that I'm not interested in. Horace is dying and I’m in his will to receive half his properties, along with his shares in the San-Am Continental Railway and Subsidiaries. If you can get me to St. Corpus, you can have the inheritance—every last gris.”

A shrill whistle echoed around your head, tuneful and mocking. The sound of it whittled your confidence back down to nothing, filling the space of your throat with a vise that you couldn't seem to swallow around. That same great unease you had felt before weaseled around in your chest, coiled your ribs and then plunged straight down into your gut. 

“Good offer, but it ain't on the table.” The way he spoke was easy and slow, a thick drawl that suited every bit of him up to even now. He acted as though he weren't essentially holding a gun to your head, threatening your life in the name of money—or something else. “Gris is always good to have lyin’ around, but, honey, it don't really mean a lot to a man like me. Why, then, d’ya think I take on work like this? Why do ya think I trek halfway across the five territories time and time again? What really keeps a man goin’ out here in this godforsaken place?”

You felt yourself shrink in your seat as he leaned forward over his thighs, coming closer still like he had a secret to keep. “It's for the thrill. The hunt. The challenge of it all. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't actively seek out men to shoot or… nice types like you, but part of the fun is trackin’ down, the other part is just havin’ a chat—just like this.”

Then, he had the picture of Horace held out to you between two fingers. “Tell ya what, I see that hard case you brought aboard. I know what it is, but I want you to offer me somethin’ more interesting than a bunch of gris.”

You scrunched the photograph against your palm once you had it, hoping the sweat off your skin would ruin his face and make the ink run, but looked to the aforementioned hard case instead. 

It was made of a hard plastic shell with strips of rubber outlining the odd shape of the thing. Inside was your handheld welding gun—one of many—that you had decided to bring along for little reason besides thinking it could be of use at some point during your time away. It wouldn't be enough to handle larger jobs such as the ones you were accustomed to in the workshop back in Grimerise, but it could fix a wagon or two, glue some pipes together, and do some damage if need be.

“C’mon, darlin’, sell yourself to me.” he pressed, gesturing his impatience with winding fingers. “What do you do for a living, huh?”

“I'm an engineer,” you continued hastily, “I-I can solder, weld, braze, cut, and saw. I can do anything if I have the right equipment.”

In turn, he asked, “Does that mean you can cut open a safe?”  

“If you give me what I need, I can do anything.” you said. 

A new sort of look overcame his features, one of great fondness and admiration that made the green of his eyes take on the milky luster of jade. You had the hope that this unique softness would gain you freedom from a shallow, empty death; a chance to go forward to seize the assets sworn to you by a man you'd never known.

His hands came forward to take your wrists, the weight of them first heavy and then cold as a pair of handcuffs were locked around you, knocking bone when you lunged back into your seat and fought against them. 

“I've got myself quite boon!” In the next moment, he had hauled you up across his shoulder, retrieved both your suitcases, and called one of the stewards to carry your welding gun after him. “Time to go. Gotta introduce you to the crew and get ya settled in.”

“Wait, I don't even know your name!” you shouted and thrashed from shoulder.

He grinned. “Jericho, darlin’.”

a/n: so, this is a concept piece to a very large neo-western project I'm currently in the process of outlining and fleshing out. most things mentioned in this little oneshot will not be present in the final piece, the quality will, of course, be substantially better.

jericho is an outlaw with an extremely complex background story and will definitely be one of the more interesting characters I've ever written. he's not necessarily the sort of man you want entangled in your life, but he's loyal to a fault once you have his trust. his personality tends to revolve around "taking things as they come", which is a great nuisance to those around him. he likes a good challenge, strong liquor, and good medicine.

here's a brief glossary if you're interested:

san-am: the continent where events take place. no one knows what it used to be called because most historical documents have been lost. it's divided into five territories with a "capital".

grimerise: the central hub of commerce, home of the governing bodies. it's a large city dead center of the other four territories. mc was born and raised there. the university of san-am is also here.

st. corpus: the industrial heart of san-am, found down south near the seaboard. mc's father lives there.

"gris": currency in this world. its components are coins and bank notes. it is a relatively new thing to come about because the bartering system is still the preferred method of trading.

#outlaw x reader #outlaw x you #outlaw x y/n #cowboy x reader #cowboy x you #cowboy x y/n #romance #neo-western #neo western #oc x reader #oc x you #oc x y/n #2k writes #original fiction #original fic #original story #original writing #writing #western romance #cyborg x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #reader interactive

[bettyfrommars]

Ring of Fire

a biker Steve au

Part 1 || I went down, and the flames went higher

18+ONLY || afab!Reader, eventual smut, alcohol consumption, allusions to dirty deeds, smoking, allusions to sex with someone other than reader (not cheating), allusions to violence/fighting, bloody knuckles, eventual breaking & entering, biker!Eddie, biker!Hopper, reader and Steve are in their early 30's. Please read warning for each part.

masterlist playlist

Summary || You haven't set eyes on Steve Harrington since the 8th grade, but you have no problem recognizing him almost 20 years later when he steps back into your life. A lot has changed in Hawkeye, the town you grew up in, but a lot has stayed the same.

word count: 5k

A/N || This is my version of Hawkins, a town called Hawkeye, and it is a desert town surrounded by tumbleweeds, agriculture, and junkyards. Even though Steve is a biker and a mechanic, I try to maintain his "essence". I plan for this to be a shorter series, like 3 or 4 parts, but those are always famous last words from this lyin', cheatin' mouth. This is a niche fic, and for the ten people who will appreciate it, I love you.

The bell on the door dinged to let you know you had a customer, but you didn’t look up right away, you were too busy trying to figure out why your till was a few bucks short for the day.  Donna would not be happy.  Heavy foot falls made it to the counter and then the person in question cleared his throat.

“Ten on pump 2 and a pack of reds, please,” the voice was deep and scratchy, like he was recovering from a sore throat.

You closed the cash register and glanced up for the first time.

The sight made you inhale a sharp breath and hold it.  The man had on a thick motorcycle jacket zipped up halfway over a white tee, atop blue jeans that were a dark denim wash, faded over time, with a tattered hole in one knee.  There were tattoos scattered over his flesh, peeking from his collar, and down his hands.  Letters on his knuckles spelled something that you couldn't quite make out, and he had a luscious mop of maple syrup hair on his head that looked like it had once been gelled into place but lost the fight hours ago.  He raked a big hand through it slowly, pausing halfway through the movement, and tucked his chin to pin you with an anticipatory stare. 

The last person you every expected to see again was Steve Harrington.

He pushed his wayfarer sunglasses up to reveal hazel eyes that were just as sad as they were electric. Swiping the tip of his tongue over his top lip, he repeated himself.  “Pump 2?”

You gave a flustered wave of your hand.  “Yes, of course,” turning to pull a soft pack from the wall behind you.  “Matches?”

He shook his head, and then, “just a sec,” before sauntering over to the aisle on the other side of the potato chips.  

Tossing a back of Magnum condoms on the counter next to his smokes, he dug his wallet out of his back pocket and said a polite, “those too, please.” The wallet was as worn as his jeans and connected by a chain to one of his belt loops.  

The cash register made loud click-clack noises as you punched in the numbers and gave him the total.  You weren’t expecting to see the wad of bills that fanned, but then he handed you what you needed.

“You new here?” He asked as you passed him his change, rolling a piece of bright green gum from the inside of his cheek to start chewing it again.

You stumbled over the question.  “New to this store or Hawkeye?”

A smirk lifted up one side of his mouth.  “Both, I guess?”

He was well aware that you were new to the corner gas n’ sip because he’d been a regular customer for years, and he definitely would have remembered you. 

Definitely.

Yet, something about you felt very familiar. 

“I grew up here,” your delivery was dry.  

Steve tilted his head back to assess you down the bridge of his nose and frowned like he didn’t believe you.  You noticed that his hands were rough and stained with evidence that he did some vocation of hard labor for a living.   

You decided to humor him with a clue.  “I left Hawkeye right before my freshman year.  My hair was different back then, and my mom drove a big, white Buick LeSabre—-”

With an unblinking stare, he blurted your name, repeating it a few times in disbelief as the memory seized him. 

There you were, the one who’d haunted his middle school dreams.  The first notable crush he ever had, standing a few feet in front of him 

“Shitttt,” he continued, scooping his purchases up in one hand, huffing out a breath.  He searched your face, and you watched the light in his eyes intensify. “You were a year older than me, right?  I remember you were always so bossy on the playground.”

You sealed your lips over a chuckle.  “Well, someone had to keep you and Eddie from dismantling the playground equipment to sell to the salvage yard.”

Steve chomped down on his lip in a smile, his hip finding the edge of the counter, trying to get closer to you.  “Copper,” he corrected with a one-eyed squint.  “We wanted to dismantle the lampposts.  Copper wiring could earn a pretty penny back then.”

“You’re still good with your hands I see,” gesturing to his calloused digits, the moons of his cuticles stained from motor oil, knuckles slashed with white scarring.

He flexed his right hand into a fist and then opened it again, deliberate and slow, watching you as he did so.  “I do alright.”

He was leaning over the counter at that point, elbow resting next to the cash register,  hip jutting out behind him, holding his mouth as if he were about to say something—-

“...and then, do you know what Ned said to me? Nothing, that’s what. Three days and I barely get two words out of him.  Before you go, there are two crates that need to be put away in the back—-”

56 year old Donna, your boss, approached the front desk from the back room, buzzing with conversation.  She stopped short when she saw Steve there, and tucked some silver, permed hair behind her ear.  

“Oh, hey Steven,” she greeted.  

“Donna,” he gave a twitch of a smile, standing to full height again, slipping his wallet into his back pocket.  “I was just catching up with an old friend.”

Donna had on bright pink lipstick and heart-shaped, baby blue clip-on earrings.  “You know Steve?”

“You could say that,” you stared at him as you said it.  “I’ve tried to put it behind me.“

Steve ran his tongue over the ridge of his teeth at that, and you could see that the left incisor was gold.  

Donna crowded in behind you, trying to get to the styrofoam container with her food inside that was on a stool just below the rack of caffeine pills.  It was leftover burger and fries from the diner across the street and the smell had been making your mouth water.  

“How’s Eddie?” Donna asked, and it was obvious she was talking to Steve. “Haven’t seen him drop by here in a while.”

Steve pulled his sunglasses out of his nest of hair and slid them back down to his nose before giving you one final look.  You backed up against the cigarette display to watch him go.

“He’s been busy,” Steve gnawed his gum, addressing your boss.  “Business at the garage has picked up since the only other mechanic in town split.  I work there part time when I’m not—” he swallowed back whatever he was initially about to say.  “---when I’m not doing other things.”

Donna shoved the corner of her sesame seed bun burger in her mouth, chewed it and kept talking.  “I saw Robin yesterday.  Her and Ratchet back together?”

In the past few days of your employment, you were learning that Donna was a pillar of gossip in the community, and she wasn’t afraid to ask the tough questions.  

Steve scratched the stubble on his chin, possibly contemplating how much he should share.  “I think they have an understanding,” he chimed diplomatically, stealing another glance in your direction. 

“Say hi to Wayne for me,” Donna added as Steve pushed his way out the mostly glass door.  He waved over his shoulder in response, nodding that he would.  

You shimmied further along behind the counter, pretending to organize the pens, so that you could follow where Steve was going, see what he was driving.  

To your surprise, he pumped gas into a hulking, coal black motorcycle with ape-hanger handlebars and blue ghost flames on the tank.  You were staring with your mouth slightly agape when Donna’s voice broke your concentration.

“Don’t even think about it,” she said, cheek of food again.  “That boy is adorable, but he’s bad news.”

“Why?” The question was out of your mouth before you were cognitively aware of it.   

She thumbed ketchup from the corner of her mouth.  “You ever heard of the Coffin Kings?” 

Your gaze flicked to the side, catching Steve as he kicked a leg over to straddle the bike.  “I don’t think—it doesn’t ring a bell.”

You were lying; of course you’d heard of the Coffin Kings.  How could you forget the horde of long-haired bikers who cruised through town when you were a kid, a few of them stopping by to pick Eddie and Steve up from school on occasion.  Eddie’s uncle Wayne was one of the original members, and most of the teachers kept their manners around the boys for that reason alone.  Sure, Steve got detention for carving his initials into one of the school desks, but little did you know that it was only because he knew you would be in there too.  

Steve revved the bike to life until it was growling, idling in place with his back to you while he strapped his bare bones helmet on.  

“How do you know him?” Donna asked, not afraid to be pushy. 

“Well, I—” you thought about the specifics of that question.  “I don’t know him at all anymore, really.  We were just kids. It’s been a long time.”

“You want my advice?” Donna wiped her mouth with a tissue from a nearby Kleenex box.  

You didn’t, but you knew you couldn’t stop her from giving it to you.

“If you’re looking for a bad boy type, his friend Eddie is a much better catch.  Runs his own business, works hard, stays out of trouble.  Steve? Well, let’s say Stevie is just—-”

You turned to her as Steve hit the main road and shot into the distance.  “He’s what?”

You waited while she rolled her lips together, wetting them thoughtfully, turning her gaze to the ceiling.

“He’s a nice kid, but he’s trouble,” she sighed.  “He’s not the type you’d want to get serious with, if you know what I mean.”

Coincidentally, you did know what that meant.  You were a bit of a connoisseur when it came to trouble; not only could you sniff it out, but it flocked to you like seagulls on a parking lot french fry.  

But what Donna didn’t know was that you were no angel.

You scoffed at her suggestion.  “I’m not looking for a relationship any time soon.  I plan to stay single for a while.”

Donna dumped the rest of her dinner in the trash under the cash register.  “In that case, you and Steve have more in common than I thought.”

—-----

Steve had the rest of the evening off, he should’ve gone straight home to have a beer in his boxers in front of the TV and try to pass out early. He’d been slinging wrenches at Munson’s Garage that day, a double shift to help Eddie out, and his hand was throbbing so hard he had to take it off the throttle and shake it out. 

But also, who was he kidding?  He hadn’t slept more than a few hours that whole week. He needed a distraction, he needed people, he needed to forget his gut-wrenching loneliness for a while.  

He revved the throttle, shooting himself faster along the empty highway, passing nothing but flat alfalfa fields and the odd farmhouse every mile or so.  The low, desert hills rolled like sleeping giants on the horizon as dusk descended.

The Blue Light Tavern was housed in a brick building built in the 40’s, located between the truck stop and the Rosebud Motel, about a mile or so from the center of town.  The only way anyone passing by would even know it was a tavern was due to the neon Pabst and Jameson signs in the two tiny front windows.  There were already two motorcycles out front when Steve pulled up, and he found a spot at the end.  

The bartender that night was Angie, and she greeted him by name when he strolled in.  He asked for a beer, picked some songs on the jukebox, and started a game of pool with a fellow MC member, cigarettes bobbing from their lips as they played.  

That's when you walked in. 

He took a drink from his pint glass, pausing it there, watching you scan the room before making your way quietly to one of the stools at the far end of the bar, on the corner, closest to the door, as if you might have to make a run for it.  You were in the same clothes you’d had on at the gas n’ sip, but now you wore a zip-up black hoodie, hugging it around your ribs as if you were cold.  

The guy Steve was playing pool with was known as Big Jim around Hawkeye. Head of hair slicked back with generous sideburns down to his jaw, and a white scar making a thin indentation from the corner of his mouth to his ear.  He wore a long sleeve red and black flannel under his Coffin Kings kutte with the name Hopper patched on one side.     

Hopper said something to Steve and he appeared to ignore him, but finally blinked a few times.  “What did you say?”

Hopper held his pool cue across his lap as he sat on one of the tall swivel chairs against the wall, long legs braced wide.  “It’s your move, Romeo,” he drawled, plucking his smoke from the ashtray to take a drag. .

Steve suddenly got very confused, frowning when he turned to his friend.  How could Hop know he was interested in you? 

Hop gestured to the green felt under the Budweiser chandelier with his chin, exhaling, framing his lips to make an “O” with the smoke.  “Your turn, pipsqueak.”

“Right,” Steve huffed, shaking his head as he pushed off the wall.  

—--------

You waited outside, staring up at the Pabst neon that was missing the “b”, trying to work up the nerve to go in.  The Blue Light Tavern had been around so long, you remembered it from the rare occasions when your dad met up with his buddies, back when it was called The Hideaway.  Before the accident, back when you were a kid and considered Hawkeye your home.  

You were officially a resident once more, but you weren’t sure if you’d feel at home anywhere ever.  You weren’t sure if you’d ever feel safe again.  You weren’t sure you’d ever feel again.

When you finally opened the door, smoke billowed out, and the low-lit, grimey ambiance felt like a familiar friend.  You weren’t in the mood to drink, necessarily, you just didn’t want to sit at your apartment alone.  There weren’t many public places open in Hawkeye after 9, so you’d just been walking around aimlessly for the past hour.  Your tiny rental above the Gas n’ Sip was empty but for a mattress, two kitchen chairs, and five or six boxes you still needed to unpack. It all felt too dismal and overwhelming to tackle after your first full day at your new job.  

“What’ll it be darlin’?” The brunette bartender asked, using a white rag to wipe down the bar in front of you.  There was ice melting in a tumbler, a few used toothpicks, and a sticky ring on the woodgrain.  She scooped it all out of the way and then stared at you with a hand on her ample hips.

You were flustered and said the first thing that came to mind.  “Can you make a gin and tonic?”

“I think I can handle that,” she winked, moving out of the way to grab a glass.  You could hear the billiard balls clacking together over the music of Bringin' on the Heartache by Def Leppard , but there was a jukebox and a length of partition in the way, so you couldn’t see who was at the table. Including you, there were only a handful of customers that night; one surly man with a long gray beard at the bar, a couple at a table looking up at the mounted Zenith TV on the wall playing a muted episode of the Twilight Zone, and another two were throwing darts at a well worn target.  

Angie placed a white cocktail napkin before setting your drink down.  “Someone bought you this,” she had tiny veins of red around the cracks of her bare lips, as if she’d been wearing lipstick earlier.

“Someone?” Disbelief came first, and then it made you paranoid.  The last thing you wanted was to get hit on by—-

“It was him,” Angie gestured down the end of the bar to where Steve caught your eye and bucked his chin at you.  

The universe really did have a sense of humor.

—-----

A few minutes later, once he finished his game and let Hopper win just to move things along, he sauntered over to put his booted foot up on the bottom rung of the stool next to you. His white tee had a V-neck, exposing a tuft of chest hair.  “Are you following me?”

You swished your drink with a red stir stick, and then sucked it clean.  “I won’t let this freebie go to my head, Harrington.  I bet you buy drinks for all the new women in town.”

He gripped a fresh cigarette between pursed lips and lit the end, looking up at you from under his furrowed, James Dean brow.  “Yeah, but you’re not new.”

“Shhh it’s a secret,” you snipped two fingers in the air like a pair of scissors and he grinned at that, offering his pack of reds for you to take one. One of his ears was pierced, and a small silver hoop curved there.  

“Since when do you smoke?”

“I don’t,” you answered flatly, leaning over so that he could light the end for you with his plastic blue Bic, inhaling so that your cheeks hollowed.  

“You want to read my palm again?”

“Again?” You exhaled smoke to the side.

Steve straddled the stool and got comfortable with his elbows on the bar.  “You read my palm once when we were kids,” he straightened his arm, locking his elbow, so that his palm was open in front of you.  “I think you said my love life would be troubled, but I’d live a long life.  And then you made some crack about how I’d let the right one get away.”

You huffed a laugh and chomped onto your bottom lip to keep from smiling too big, staring at his strong fingers as they wiggled in front of you, veins popping strong in his forearm. 

“I can’t believe you remember that.” Tilting your head to the side, you took another sip of your drink, cringing a little at the strength of the alcohol; it was a glass of gin with a splash of tonic.  But maybe Angie’s heavy hand was a blessing that night.  

The gold in his tooth flashed like lightning in a storm. “I remember everything,” his voice was soft and deep, and you had to look away before he turned you into a brainless, lovesick zombie from his vampiric-strength powers of persuasion. 

Clearing your throat, you squirmed a bit under the weight of his stare.  “My palmistry days are behind me. I’m out of practice.”

He slid his hand back, but slowly, hoping you might want to touch it or grab it or—-

“But I am curious—”

Fingers flexed flat again as an invitation.

“---what does it say on your knuckles?”

“Oh these?” He made two fists and twisted them to read it himself as if he wasn’t sure, and then put both palms flat and slid them back in your direction, fingers splayed.  

Murmuring aloud as you spelled it out, you realized that the right knuckles spelled LOVE and the left ones said PAIN in thick, capital lettering.  

“My turn,” he pulled back his shoulders, taking another drag, squinting, before resting his cigarette butt back in the ashtray.

“Your turn for what?”

“Questions. What is that key around your neck for?”

You slapped a hand over the metal piece dangling from a chain, not realizing it had escaped the confines of your shirt collar, fingering it thoughtfully as you thought about what type of story you should make up.  

You could tell him the truth, but you weren’t sure you were emotionally equipped to answer any further questions.  You made a fist around the key and started massaging it with your thumb, when another hulking biker with a thick mustache cupped a meaty hand onto Steve’s shoulder.

“Bones just paged, we gotta meet them at the junkyard on ,” the big man shifted his kind, blue eyes to you, blinking with a nod of his head to acknowledge your presence, and offer his silent apologies all at once.  

Steve stood without argument, clearly duty bound, but his attention remained on you. He motioned Hopper ahead, and then he idled there, internally stumbling over his words.

“Any chance you’ll be here again tomorrow night?” He flicked the spark on his lighter a few times as he spoke out of nervous habit.

You tucked the metal key into your shirt.  “I work the late shift at the gas station tomorrow.” 

His mood seemed to lift slightly at knowing where you would be.  

“Taz,” Hopper hummed from the door where he braced it open with his broad back, offering a blast of fresh air to the nicotine saturated walls. Taz was Steve’s nickname in the club, but that was just one more thing you had yet to learn about him. He adjusted the collar of his leather jacket, gave your bicep a tender squeeze as he went by, and leaned down to whisper, “it’s good to see you,” at the shell of your ear, giving you goosebumps.  

Once he was gone, the tavern suddenly felt emptier, the sound of George Thorogood singing about drinking alone pounding much louder as you stared down at the glass in your hand.  

You finished your drink and then you made the trek back home, hugging yourself against the crisp night breeze, wondering how you would occupy your time for the next couple hours before you found sleep.

—------

The roar of their two engines cut through the dry June night like a knife, affording no illumination but their headlights and the moon.  Steve had replaced his leather jacket with his own MC leather that said TAZ on the front from one of his saddlebags, bare flesh of his arms exposed to show the scattering of tattoos there as he gripped the handlebars.  Both riders wore clear safety glasses to protect their eyes from the wind and the kamikazee bugs.  

Snipes Junkyard loomed menacingly in the expanse of desert, shrouded in cobalt night.  Heaps of twisted metal wreckage, smashed cars all piled on top of each other, and a high fence made of corrugated metal with curls of razor wire along the top ridge.  

There was a group of bikes parked out front when they arrived and two of the Coffin Kings Prospects, Riot and Krebs, guarded the gate to the place.  

Both new arrivals put their helmets on the end of their handlebars and tucked their safety glasses into their front pocket as they approached.

“What are we walking into?” Hopper asked, and Riot was already shaking his head in answer.

“The underground tunnels were breached,” he said, tucking a strand of curly black hair behind his ear.  “Crater isn’t happy.”

Crater was a Hawkeye native who got his nickname because of the chicken pock scars that covered his cheeks and jaw. He was also President of one of the other MC’s in town called the Skull Crushers.

When tensions were high among the gangs, there was always a good chance someone would pull a gun or start punching, so Steve and Hopper shared a weary look, bracing themselves before entering.

—------

Just as you were about to step up onto your block, you caught sight of someone coming out of the mini mart that you lived above.  A side door led up a flight of narrow stairs, and the top room was all yours; it was the size of a tin can, but it was shelter and you were grateful.  

Through the soft glow of the front window, you saw Donna’s husband Ned behind the counter with his half-moon reading spectacles on and a novel open in front of him.  Which reminded  you to make sure you brought some material to entertain you on your shift the next night.  

Somewhere not too far off in the distance, a group of coyotes yipped their excited whines.

The person who’d just come out paused on the sidewalk to light a smoke, and you sank around the corner of the building to watch the guy in the jeans, leather, and thick boots stroll over to put some gas in the tank of his Harley. Bulkier than the one Steve rode, this one was glossy obsidian with chrome pipes and a sissy bar in back, as if he usually had a rider with him.  His hair was unruly, long and dark, and once you caught a glimpse of his profile from the dim beam above the pumps, you knew right away that it was Eddie Munson.  

You thought about getting his attention to say hello, but then realized that your social battery was tapped for the day.  The cigarette dangled from his mouth when he took off, and you waited until he was down the street before darting to the stairs of your apartment.

—-----

A few hours later, Steve’s left hand with the PAIN held a black payphone receiver to his ear while the other hand rolled the numbers on the rotary dial.  His knuckles were freshly spit and bleeding, since one of the Skull Crushers had come at him during a misunderstanding at the meet earlier, and he was forced to lay the guy out.  He felt wired, like rest had somehow become his enemy, something he ran from as it tracked him ruthlessly.  

A woman who went by the name Lorelei picked up on the second ring.  

“It’s me,” he coughed and tasted that familiar copper tang. “It’s Steve.  Are you busy?”

It was almost 4 in the morning, but Steve had been a regular customer for a few months and, also, she didn’t mind his company.  He wasn’t like her other customers; he didn’t want the typical things from her.  

His hand haphazardly bandaged with a red handkerchief; he hugged it to his chest when he knocked at the door of room 8 at the Rosebud Motel.  When it opened, Lorelei stood there with a silk, periwinkle kimono wrapped snug around her curves, and motioned him in. There were two lamps on in the room, both of their shades were draped with floral scarves, and a candle burned on the nightstand, smelling of essential oils, bergamot and lavender.   She didn’t live at the Rosebud, but she did stay a few nights in a row there when she was working.  

Steve's relationship history thus far had been a blur of endless disconnect, a series of hit and runs that left his heart empty and his eyes vacant.  It was easy for a guy in a motorcycle club to get laid; their parties were always crawling with eager pussy.  But after a certain age, that wasn’t what he craved anymore. He often worried that the parental dynamic he’d witnessed growing up, or lack thereof, had fucked him up to the point that he would never be able to have a normal relationship with a girl he liked.  

A while ago he’d given up on love, figured that he was broken. But he still had urges, and making them transactional helped him to disengage further.  

“What are you in the mood for?” Lorelei hooked a finger into his belt loop and pulled him closer, searching his face.  “Same as last time, hmm?”

Steve lowered his head, internal exhaustion making him dizzy.  He held her arm, thumbing the delicate material of her robe.  “Not tonight,” he swallowed thickly.  “Just the stuff that…comes after.”

Nodding that she understood, she cupped his chin so he would look at her. “Will three hours be enough?” One look at him told her what he needed was 24 at the least, but three was all she had to give.

Over the years, Steve had come to realize that his insomnia was somehow cured when he could sleep next to someone.  To roll over and have them there, to hold them.  Alone, his mind raced, and nightmares plagued the inside of his eyelids. With Lorelei, they mostly slept side by side, and the weight and familiarity of her was somehow enough to calm his nervous system down to a reasonable level.

“Come,” she sat him on the edge of the bed and knelt to unlace his boots.  He wrestled to pull his wallet out of his back pocket, ready to pluck some bills out, but she put her hand up to stop him.

“After, okay? I trust you,” she whispered, tugging off the first boot by the heel, rubbing the ball of his foot a little before moving to the next shoe.  

Steve’s head bobbed on his neck, and then he rolled it back to center, eyes heavy.   

He always refused to undress fully, and Lorelei suspected it had something to do with how vulnerable it made him feel, but she never asked questions.  He scooted up to find the pillow with his head, and by the time she crawled in next to him and put her hand on his thigh, he was out.  

-------

Thank you to my darling readers who love biker Steve!

#Steve Harrington #Steve Harrington series #Steve Harrington fic #Stranger Things fic #biker!steve #biker!steve harrington #Ring of Fire

[siyeonsblackhat]

never strangers — tatter.

fluff and slight angst.

au - y/n and tatter was the best dance duo there yet to be, and nothing could separate them, or so they thought. taeyoung's dreams forced her distance away from y/n, and they live on their lives on separate paths. until, one day, taeyoung and her crew, BEBE, was invited on a show called 'Street Woman Fighter 2', where y/n was invited to as well. 

note : i don't proofread my works so apologies if there's any mistake in my writing! 

word count : 4.7k words 😭 saury my lurvs but enjoy!

requested!!

anyways i turned on my auto caps yall.. idk if i wanna write all lowercase or normal caps😭 lmk which you prefer!

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"Girls! We got some mail from MNET." Lia called us as we gathered in the middle of the studio, where I sat beside Harimu and Dohee. We sat in a circle as Lia held the letter in her hands as we sat in excitement with a hint of nervousness. Lia started to rip the envelope as we laughed, curious to see what it was. It revealed a piece of paper, a letter. "Read it out, unnie!" Lia cleared her throat. 

"To 1Million crew and leader, Lia Kim. We, MNET staff, hereby invite your crew to participate in an upcoming dance show that we think you would be interested in joining, STREET WOMAN FIGHTER 2!" We all screamed as we covered our mouths, not believing what we just heard. We all crowded around Lia to see if she was being for real, and OH WAS SHE FOR REAL ALRIGHT. 

"We highly encourage your presence and acceptance in the participation of the show. It will consist of 7 other crews that you will be competing with to win the show. More information will be given after your feedback and reply,

Yours sincerely,

MNET."

We stared at each other in shock as Lia burst out laughing. We couldn't believe it at all. "STREET WOMAN FIGHTER 2 BITCHES!" Amy and Harimu screamed, our excitement filling the 1Million studio with screams and cheers. "OH MY GOD WE BETTER GO! LIA UNNIE YOU BETTER REPLY NOW!" 

"I wonder who are the other 7 crews. Do you think Mina Myoung will be there, unnie?" I shouldered Lia as she gave me a stink eye. "Your best friend, unnie!" Harimu and I laughed. "You little shi-" We started screaming and running away from her as she chased us around the studio. 

- TIME SKIP -

D-DAY

3rd person POV:

"I'm excited to see the crews!" You all cheered as you sat together as a crew while facing the TV, patiently waiting for the crews and their members to pop up onto the screen. You had no idea who you were going to compete against for the next half or more year, and you couldn't wait either.

Just then, a new screen popped up on the TV. The words, 'Street Woman Fighter 2 Crews', popped up, as you all shrieked in excitement, invested to see your fellow competitors. A list of crews then showed up onto the screen as you all read out the crew names. 

"Deep N Dap is here? Unnie, Mina Mina Mina!~" Harimu poked Lia as she rolled her eyes while continuing to read out the crews. "Wow, Jam Republic and Tsubakill? I didn't know there were going to be international crews on the show." You were all engrossed, discussing about the crew members and vice versa. "MANNEQUEEN? Yah, Harimu, isn't Redlic in Mannequeen?.." Debby asked as Harimu shook her head in disappointment. "Yep, but who cares!" Harimu flipped her hair in reply, showing off her sass and confidence as we burst out laughing. 

"BEBE?"  Your heart dropped at the sight of the name, and even hearing the name of the crew. 

You weren't sure if it was the BEBE that you were thinking of, but to be real, there was no other BEBE you could possibly think of. "Y/nn ?" Redy called out to you as you sat there, frozen in your seat while they all looked at you with worry, especially Lia, your crew leader. 

2 YEARS AGO —

Your POV | 21:36 hours. 

"Alright, that's it for today! Thank you all for coming for my class, and I really hope you all enjoyed it!" I bowed as cheer and the sound of clapping filled the room by the students, I smiled wholeheartedly at them, seeing how supportive they were. I stayed back for a little meet and greet with them as I suddenly saw the translucent, white studio door open from behind the students, and there she was. 

Despite her hood, I could see the smile on her face, smiling at the sight of my interaction with the students, taking pictures and signing autographs for them. I knew she loved seeing me so joyful when it came to the fans. She found it sweet that I would take just a few extra minutes after class to make the students, or fans, happy by doing the things they could cherish or even brag about to their friends. 

Click and clacks of their phone cameras and pens surrounded me as they spoiled me with their never-ending compliments about my dancing and looks, the usual you know. I played with them a little, teasing them and saying they're the only fan that I'm loyal to, the normal fan service and everything.

After a few minutes, the students left, not noticing her standing right beside the door as if she seemed like blended in well with the other students. "Hey, love." Her soothing voice called as a big smile grew onto my face while she walked over to me with her arms wide open for me to snuggle into. I placed my hands onto her hips, hugging her as I hid my face in the crook of her neck. "I missed you, Tae." I mumbled as she softly giggled. 

Taeyoung and I was the best dance duo yet, and no one could compete. We performed together multiple times, exploring different genres of dance from contemporary to hiphop. We've even performed for a lot of famous artists together such as Kai, Jay Park, Aespa, and many others.

 We were always seen together, on media and in real life. We were practically inseparable. 

The both of us were under the company, YGX. We were well known because of the videos of our dance classes that we held together - constantly getting much attention from the internet.

I pulled away, keeping my hands onto her figure as I used one to pull down her hoodie, revealing her long, silky, blonde hair that fell as her charming face showed. Her pink, plump lips and fox-like eyes. One of the things that made me fall for her. 

"How was class?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around my neck, her brown orbed eyes staring into mine. "Fun, of course," I continued. "but I missed you." I frowned. I couldn't stop thinking about her, and I missed her although it wasn't like she was on the other side of Earth, it felt like it. "I missed you too, love." My heart fluttered, like it always did with her. Love, my favourite pet name. "How about we go to our usual tonight?" Taeyoung grinned. She knew I couldn't say no to that. 

Our 'usual' was a spot where we confessed to each other after working with one another for 2 and a half years in the industry, and also as friends. Then, we had only shared one or two drunken kisses, along with flirtatious hints about our 'close friendship' being something a little bit more. But after, was chemistry. Now we've been together for 3 years. 

The spot being the top of a hill, near the cliff which people rarely went to as they often go to the ones further up, but our perspective from the cliff was already enough to see the city of Seoul. We would always enjoy the bright lights of the city shining into the air as we watched in awe, either sitting in comfortable silence or talking about our lives together while holding hands or cuddling in the seats.  Once, we even talked about our futures. It was one of my favourite memories of us too, other than the dancing and everything public. 

Speaking of our relationship, it is not revealed to the public yet, and we also prefer it that way. To keep our relationship on the low.

Friends in the public eye, lovers in private.

Taeyoung pulled me by the hand as we left the studio, leading me out the building and into the carpark, where her black BMW was parked. We got into the car as she turned on the engine, ready to drive off to our destination. The traffic wasn't too bad, considering it was a Friday night so I expected a traffic jam of sorts, but it wasn't too busy. We managed to reach the hill road in a span of 15 minutes and got up in another 10. As we reached the cliff, Taeyoung then slowly parked her car facing the city view. 

"It's beautiful, as always." I muttered softly, staring in awe once more. "Like you, my love." Taeyoung held my hand as I smiled at her words, placing a kiss on her lips that lasted a few more seconds than expected. She pulled away, not taking her eyes off me. 

"I actually brought you here to talk to you about something too." Taeyoung caressed my hand as she sighed. "Is it bad news or?.." My voice trailed off as she seemed a little reluctant, as if she didn't know either. "It's.. both." She sighed once more, taking a deep breath as she turned her body to face me. Her face seemed serious and her hands started to tighten around mine a little. 

"What is it? You can tell me anything." I assured her as she didn't say anything, only looking down as she bit her lip before I started to see tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh, baby." I frowned as I held her close to me before she started to laugh a little, it seemed like whatever she was going to say wasn't going to be so good if she was already tearing up because of it. 

"Okay, well," She said through her sniffles as I wiped her tears with my thumb, my heart hurt from seeing her like this, knowing that something so hurtful could cause such sorrow from her. "I," She took another breath. "Take your time, dear. Breathe." I calmed her down as she nodded her head, tears still in her eyes as I didn't take my eyes off her. 

However, her smile slowly faded. "I’ll have to leave YGX ," Taeyoung said straightforwardly, clearing her throat. I laughed nervously, confused. "What do you mean by that, Tae?"

"I’m leaving YGX to join JustJerk instead, and you know how the studio is all the way at Busan. I can’t be travelling such a long distance from Seoul just for work." My heart dropped. "Why?" My thoughts were empty, no words could describe whatever I was feeling. "You know how Bada and the girls are all from JustJerk, leaving me being the odd one out from YGX. And - I’ll have to for the competition," She declared. “They say every crew needs to be under the same company after much ‘consideration’, don’t know what the fuck they considered.” Taeyoung cursed, clear anger in her tone.

"So you're leaving me? Our dreams? The love I thought we had?" I couldn't understand anything. "Love," She sighed. "the competition's in 5 months time. We have to prepare it.." Her voice trailed off. "I wanted you to come along but, you have your own performances too." She wasn't wrong. I had other competitions I also had to attend to in Seoul, and it was too late for me to cancel it.

"What about us, Tae?" My voice cracked as I felt tears in my eyes while she held onto my hands tightly.  

She didn't say anything. "I love you so much, Y/n." I didn't know what to do. What happened to nothing being able to separate us? "Can't you come back to YGX after the competition? Come back to Seoul?" I tried to give her suggestions. "Love, you know it won't be easy." She said softly. I couldn’t reply, it felt as if my world had crashed down and it was coming to an end.

I couldn't even look her in the eye, I was so hurt. I knew she always wanted this, but I don't want us to end. "I'm leaving in 2 days." I didn't say anything as I continued looking down, my breathing getting harder by the second. "Love, I'm sorry. I never wanted to go but; you know how much I want this, Y/n. You know how much I've been longing for this. But what's more important, you know how much I love you with all my heart." Silence. 

She was the reason why I had the confidence on that stage with her, why I had held those classes with her, why I pursued dancing for her. And now that she'll be gone, I don't know what I can do without her. 

"I don't wanna be alone, Tae. I'm nothing without you." I cried and cried, knowing it wouldn't be of use because she'd end up leaving anyway. "Y/n, you're the best dancer I know. And I won't be gone, Y/n. I'll always be there, cheering for you by your side. Even if I'm not there physically. And now that we'll be," She took a deep breath. "Separated," she continued. "You can now prove to the world that you can be something better even with or without me as your duo. Okay?" She was right. I couldn't disagree with that. 

"But what about us?" I asked again. "Just remember, you'll always be the best girlfriend and dance partner I'll ever have. And nobody can take that away from you or me." Taeyoung hugged me tight as she started crying more, which made me tear up even more. 

We stayed that way for a couple of minutes, enjoying our last few moments as the dance duo everyone'll remember; And also, our last moment as a couple. 

"Just promise me one thing, please." I said through my tears. "Anything for you, my love." She whispered. 

"You'll never forget me. And one day, we'll cross paths and we'll meet again. Be it as lovers, friends, acquaintances, but never strangers."

— PRESENT DAY. — 

After Taeyoung left, you thought there was no use in staying at YGX without her by you anymore, so you resorted to 1Million, where one of your closest friends, Soobin, or known as Redy, introduced you to the crew. 

It was where your dance journey without your dance soulmate started once again. 

"Y/n." You finally snapped out of your thoughts when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking over, you saw your crew looking at you worriedly. Knowing of your past with Taeyoung, they knew it wasn't going to be easy with her being your opponent instead of your crew member now. "It's okay, maybe she's not on the team, you know?" Lia tried to assure you, somehow trying to comfort you. But you shook your head, you prepared for the day that you would meet her once more.

You took a deep breath and gave them a fake smile. "I'm alright. No need to worry about me." You smiled. Your story with Taeyoung was like Lia and Mina's, however you never had bad blood. You just- never managed to have the happy ending you wanted with her. 

"Remember, you mentally and physically put yourself together for this day. Don't bring yourself down because of the past." Lia whispered in your ear, comforting you as you nodded in reply, a smile plastered on your face. 

They then started showing each crew members, name, age, achievements yada yada yada. They showed Wolf'Lo, Lady Bounce, Jam Republic, then it came. BEBE. First, they showed Bada. Choreographer for AESPA, Kai- 

The girls teased Redy, who made a few comments about Bada considering their past, talking about how ‘stiff’ she was and whatnot.

But did not take her eyes off you.

Out of all the girls, she was the one who was most worried for you. More than Lia, who was like your mother. They knew that although you had 'moved on', memories of the two of you still flooded your head on certain days. They knew you too well. 

Out of the 7 girls, Soobin was the first to know about your little thing with Taeyoung. Only after you joined 1Million and got close with the girls, you told them all about your private relationship, which they weren't very surprised about then. 

Lusher was then shown on the screen, and then at last. The member you were looking forward to most. 

Tatter..

Taeyoung. 

The girls were silently observing you, who was reading through her profile. Out of all achievements, one caught your eye. "Duo Category Champion Winner." The first championship you both achieved as partners. You saw her profile picture. She dyed her hair blonde, face same as before. Those foxy eyes and plump lips, she looks as beautiful as she did. 

"Y/n, any comments?" You heard the staff ask, clearing seeking for clips to add into the show for some drama. "It's nice to see her here." You smiled and clapped. "It's been awhile." You didn't say much, and the staff was a little pissed off because they expected you to say like 'fuck her' or something to evil edit you. But how could you when there was never anything bad to say about her in the first place?

You played along little, however not saying too much about it. "What happened between you two?" The staff asked as you looked at the camera still rolling. You looked around your members, seeking for help as they nodded with approval.  

"We were amazing friends. As you know, we were dance partners for a long time in YGX. However, she had to leave YGX for some important matters involving the industry, and I guess from there, we continued on our passion for dance in separate paths." You said, giving a well explanation on your history with 'Tatter' without actually breaking down to the floor, ruining your makeup and wanting to rip out your hair. 

EVALUATION. 

The door to your waiting room opened, revealing the staff guy. "Okay ladies, you're up." He said as you all fixed your outfits before opening the door and leaving for the set. 

You wore a cropped white button up shirt with a black tie with a black skirt, a black leather blazer over your outfit as you had some black heels on, beautiful pearl necklaces on your neck with shining rings on your fingers. To top it off, you wore black sunglasses on your head as an extra accessory with your medium-length hair let down. In conclusion, you were looking boujee as hell while sticking to the black and white theme that your crew was sticking too.

"You girls ready?" Lia confirmed as you had a smirk plastered on your face before nodding, giving the signal. All of you walked out confidently, strutting a little with Lia having her RBF face on and you all looked sharp and a little scary. The black and white theme added on to the intimidation which had Lady Bounce and MANNEQUEEN whispering to each other. 

You all walked to the middle, as you patiently waited for you no-respect stickers to pop out. You had received 2 no-respects, both of which you knew was from Haechi Wang from Wolf'Lo and the other being Momo from Tsubakill. Ready to watch your evaluation video, you were curious to see what the other crews said about you all. 

"Lia Kim? Please, not even her current choreographies are original." Mina Myoung, as expected, commented as you all bashed her a little while you were lowkey holding in your laughter. The drama was utmost crazy and it was kinda funny. 

You watched as Bada also made her own comment along with Haechi, Redlic and Waackxxy. And then suddenly, your eyes widened at another figure in your evaluation video. "Ah, Y/n. It's nice to finally meet her again after so long." She said in the interview. The screen suddenly changed to a close up of her with her crew in the room where you all were examining the other crews profiles.

"You know, I honestly miss Y/n. Despite going through so many other performances without her, it kind of didn't feel the same. It's like-" She suddenly stopped midway before laughing awkwardly as tears welled up into her eyes. "We had something you know?" She sniffled. She still cries the same too, you randomly thought. "But because of our different wishes of continuing the same dreams, we separated like we said we wouldn't have." She said as Bada seemed sympathetic for her while comforting Taeyoung.

"It felt like I couldn't dance without her by me."

You heard the other crews mumbling to each other, "Oh yeah they were partners, too bad they pursued different things." "Yikes, from being together on the same team to being opponents in a show, burden must be heavy for them after so long."  You ignored the comments as your crew went and sat at your respective seats. You sat right beside Redy and tried to maintain your composure, you couldn't believe the things you just heard from her.

Did she really mean that? 

And then all the memories started flowing back, the car rides, the choreographies, the secret dates. 

You tried to distract yourself by taking the no-respect stickers and pasting the 2 onto yourself, while Redy knew something was up. "Y/n, you alright? Know this must be a lot for you to handle after so long." You nodded your head. You weren't. The only thing in your head now was your past with her, and you couldn't stop thinking about it even after training yourself for months and months to prepare for the day you two meet again.

Just then, you heard commotion around you as you looked up to see BEBE at the staircase. Bada, Lusher, Minah, Cheche, Sowoen, and then lastly, 

Taeyoung.

Her eyes met yours, and her mouth agape from awe. She held onto the railing, keeping her balance as she slowly walked down the stairs as she didn't cut eye contact with you. 

It felt like electricity flew through your body as it felt like it was the old days once again, where you would stare into her eyes with nothing but love. You reminisced those moments, and now it came back once again. 

They gathered in the middle like us, ready to watch their amount of no-respects and evaluation videos. After their no-respect was shown, the evaluation video started playing, and you were honestly nervous as you knew that your clip would likely end up playing. 

First it was Mina Myoung talking about Bada, then Gooseul and others shit-talking about how 'there was no point of the crew besides Bada', and they were all visibly pissed while glaring at Lady Bounce who made a few more comments.

You couldn't stop staring at her, you were so fazed by her beauty and.. honestly? How hot she looked while she was pissed. Her standard smug face and sarcastic laughter, still the same as before. 

- TIME SKIP - 

Your POV. 

After all the crews had arrived, the cameras were turned off and the 'tension' was released. We had to go and change to start the 'battles' and record the first episode of Street Woman Fighter 2. Some of the other ladies came and chatted with me, those being Redlic, Chocol, and Nob. Amazing ladies I have to say.

However, out of them, there was only one who I wanted to talk to the most, and I'm sure you already know who as well. 

We all had started to leave as BEBE was right in front of us while we were being escorted by the staff. Harimu suddenly nudged me and raised her eyebrows. "Why aren't you going to talk to her?" She whispered to me. "I'm nervous, you know I don't like making the first move!" I whispered back as she shook her head.

Anyhow, I think Taeyoung remembered that as my wrist was suddenly held by someone in front of me, and I was pulled to the side. Both of our crews gasped and started running away to the waiting rooms as we burst out laughing. We were standing by a corner where no one could really see us because we were blocked by a shelf, which was better that way so we had privacy.

I turned my head to look at her and smiled. "Taeyoung." 

"Y/n." She smiled back. "I've been meaning to talk to you." Tatter admitted, slowly letting go of her grip on my wrist. "I've.. missed you. A lot." She added on, and at that point I started to feel butterflies in my stomach. "I missed you too, Tae." It's been so long since I've called her that. Since I've even heard that nickname, better yet said it. "I missed that too." She whispered. There was an awkward silence between us for a moment before I broke it,

"How's life now? Any, you know, relationships?.." I asked, hoping it wasn't a question that made her uncomfortable. "No, no. After you, there wasn't anyone." I couldn't believe my ears, but I kept my cool. "Whys that?" She sighed before chuckling, "Well, I couldn't find anyone like you. Nobody could make me feel the things you did." My heart was beating fast, it felt as if this was a dream. The dream I've been wishing for to come true. 

"Tae," She tilted her head, ears listening. "Be honest with me when I ask you this, okay?" I softly said as she nodded her head, locking eyes with me. "Do you-" 

"Still have feelings for me?"

I gave up all my courage to ask the question as it seemed like it shook her a little. "Wow that's- that was random." She laughed a little. "You want me to be honest?" She asked as I nodded my head. 

"Please." Taeyoung sighed before smiling softly at me. "If you have to know," she took a moment before continuing. "Yes, yes I do, Y/n. Even after 2 years, I knew and know that nobody could take your place. As my duo, as my partner, as my girlfriend." She said as I felt the sincerity in her voice. "You're irreplaceable, you know that?" She laughed. 

There was another moment of silence, being unable to speak.. "Fuck. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" I cut her off by kissing her on the lips, my hands flying to her waist, gripping it tightly. Although I felt her shook a little from surprise, she slowly melted into my touch, kissing me back.

I pulled away, resting my head onto hers. "You do not know how long I've waited for you to say that." I whispered, in which she smiled in return. "I-" I choked up a little. "I love you so much, Tae. I always have and never stopped loving you." I smiled as a tear streamed down my cheek. "I waited, and waited, and waited for you. Because I knew in my heart that you would come back. And now, you did." 

"Same for me here too, love." I felt like dropping to my knees and breaking into a million pieces. It felt like the good old days once again, back when we were so lovey dovey in the YGX studio, and of course, the cliff. 

"So are we the Taeyoung and Y/n again?" She asked as I laughed. "Yes, yes we are my dear." We smiled before going in for another kiss. "Can't wait to tell the girls about this." I said as she laughed in reply before agreeing with me. 

"Hey, remember our promise?" I asked as she nodded a little. 

"One day we'll cross paths and meet again," 

"Be it as lovers, friends, acquaintances,  but never strangers."

#tatter #bebe #tatter x reader #team bebe #streetwomanfighter2 #street woman fighter 2 #swf2 #wlw #tatter fluff #gxg

[omgthatdress]

Addy’s Summer Dress is cute and accurate, so not especially noteworthy. It was one I didn’t have as a kid, but now I really want as an adult.

One of the things I really appreciate about Addy’s story is how it showed how families struggled to reunite after Emancipation. In Addy Saves the Day, Addy writes a letter to the Quaker Aid Society, but many people with misplaced family members placed ads in newspapers asking for information. They’re some of the most heart-breaking things you’ll ever read.

Many families were never reunited.

“My great-grandmother Rose, mother of Ashley, gave her this sack when she was sold age 9 in South Carolina. It held a tattered dress, 3 handfulls of pecans, a braid of Rose’s hair. Told her, “It be filled with my LOVE always.” She never saw her again. Ashley is my grandmother. Ruth Middleton, 1920″

(The National Museum of African American History and Culture)

#1860s #American Girl #Addy

[umipuppy]

Picture Of Us ( 01 )

Bada Lee x Famous dancer fem!reader

warnings: (MDNI), language, mentions of fill with bada fingers, fluff?, provocations, 16+?

part 2 here

Years ago...

- It was winter, the snow covered the entire campus of your school, you were getting ready to leave the school wait for your mother to pick you up until a girl bumped into you, you knew who it was, it was Bada Lee an amazing dancer who performed at the school during school events, you thought she was a great her moves were spectacular and made everyone gawk, From that day on, you and she became best friends, even though today you have 28 years together

Now she's a well-known choreographer all over Kpop and an even more amazing dancer

You were a famous choreographer too and you taught at the Justjerk Dance Academy...

- You were anxious because it was your first On The Stage of your best friend You were in the front row anxious and excited, about 4 days before they announced the first On The Stage your girlfriend had broken up with you for reasons of betrayal of her... but now none of that mattered to you, you were only focused on one thing: the performances of your best friend and her BEBE team, they won the street woman figther 2, so you came to honor them

- just before the show starts, Bada Lee spots you from afar and runs up to you to greet you

"hey y/n" you can hear her calling you from afar and coming to see you

"My god bada you look very beautiful!! " you say complimenting her outfit

"oh thank you so much cute cat" she calls you by your childhood nickname and automatic you blush

"What are you doing here bada? Shouldn't you be in the dressing room along with the other girls? " You ask her and she answers

"It should... But as I saw you couldn't help but say hello to my amazing best friend, could you? After she says it she gives you a smile

"Close your eyes for a minute" you ask her

Automatically she closes and asks " what do you have for me ??? "

You say "it's not just for you but for you and the rest of the girls, now you can open your eyes"

She slowly opens her eyes and sees you holding a bouquet of blue tulips shining with a card on top with a photo of you and the baby girls, Bada's eyes fill with tears and soon she will give you a hug

"Y/n didn't need it, that's very beautiful thank you very much! the girls are going to love it"

"I'm only giving you this because I know how hard you've worked together and also happy 1 year of Team Bebe you guys deserve so much! You guys are amazing," you say wiping away your tears of emotion

after that Bada thanks you once again and runs to the dressing room to show the girls

"GIRLS, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW" Bada walks into team bebe's dressing room screaming

"What was Badari?" Tatter asks Bada entering the room

"Come here and close your eyes, if I see someone with their eyes open they won't win huh! I'm watching," she says laughing softly

She places the bouquet with the card and the photo on the table and asks them to open their eyes

" My god how beautiful WAIT A Y/N IS HERE? " Lusher asks with his eyes shining

"I couldn't believe she was here, she's in the front row waiting to see us! She gave this bouquet for our 1 year of Team Bebe and for us winning the SWF and how proud she is of us! Bada's eyes fill with tears she never thought her best friend would do this for her and her team, when bada went to look to the side Sowoen was in tears from crying so much emotion Sowoen was like a little sister to you, you were her emotional support she loved you more than anything

"Sowonie don't cry" Bada goes to her to give her a hug and comfort the maknae of the team, the other girls had their eyes shining and tears were falling on their faces as they read your letter and the picture of all of you

---Time Skip------

The Bebe team had just entered the stage, their eyes lit up seeing the girls performing with so much desire and with a sparkle in their eyes to see so many people gathered to see them dance...

you were jumping and screaming with every move they made especially bada, you screamed when she made that move in Rihanna's cockiness, her heart was racing a thousand an hour her breathing was heavy you couldn't think of anything else but how proud you were to see them achieving everything they ever wanted after so much work on perfecting their moves. You'd never forget that moment, you could see how happy they were to be up there doing what they like...

After they introduced themselves, the MC asked them to give a speech about what it was like to be here, and you listened carefully

Bada took the microphone and began to make an impromptu speech: "Me and the girls are very happy and very happy that you are here to see us dance and have fun with us, this would not be possible without you too, we are very grateful for each and every one of you who is here today, may you continue on our journey ahead, thank you very much indeed! and I would also like to thank you for this amazing opportunity that you have given us THANK YOU SO MUCH BEBIS ! She finishes by looking for something in her coat and making a heart for the crowd, her eyes were watering to have heard this from her you were feeling very happy inside and proud of course !

After a long show you went to the dressing rooms because there was a card that gave you access to the backstage, you ran to the girls' dressing room and you knocked on the door about 3 times and didn't open it because you wanted to make a surprise

"Tatter open the door must be someone from production," Cheche says to tatter

"It's okay it's alright" she runs to open the door, when she sees you she doesn't think

she runs to open the door, when she sees you she doesn't think twice and hugs you very tight and says "Y/N MY GOD I MISS YOU" and keeps hugging you tight

When the girls heard your name they ran to hug you and find you

they all give you a hug and thank you for everything you've done for them and how grateful they are to have you as a friend, they invite you to sit on their couch and you start talking and Bada sits next to you holding your hand

Kyma asks you if you'd like to have dinner with the girls and you reply "of course I'd love to go out to dinner with my girls" you say excited to have dinner with them

---Time Skip------

You already found yourself having dinner at a restaurant that you always go to when you have nothing to do, you are practically friends with the owner so sometimes he reserves the restaurant just for you

you had ordered a Japchae accompanied by a soju to celebrate this amazing night that was happening, during dinner you laughed a lot talked about various subjects until it was 11:30 pm and you were all already saying goodbye to you and Bada because you were going to sleep at her house tonight, you and the girls gave each other some hugs and went your separate ways, while you and Bada were walking through the streets of the bustling city of Seoul, you spotted a karaoke house open at 11:51 p.m., you immediately asked Bada

" Bada, you know I like you a lot, don't you? " You tried to find a way to ask her

What's your new idea? Please don't rob a bank," she says, making fun of her and laughing

"Spare me this time you're going to say yes! You know that karaoke in front of you? We might as well go, right? You ask the eldest silently and thinking of an answer

"Hmm let me see I THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT IDEA" she says excitedly

"LET'S GO THEN" you say pulling her hand and going inside the karaoke

"But we're going to have rules, aren't we?" says Bada Lee, raising an eyebrow waiting for his answer

"Of course we will, the rules are as follows. If you win I'll pay you anything you want and if I win vice versa, what do you think? "You give this idea of a rule already inside the room looking for a song to start singing

"Closed then, but get your wallet ready 'cause we know I'm going to win I'm the queen of karaoke" she says teasing you

"That's what we're going to see, baby," you counter her teasing

after that you choose the song Abracadabra Do Brown Eyed Girls and start playing the song you jumped and sang as the song was playing, Bada Lee just kept looking at you and laughing at you singing She knew you were great at karaoke but she had to win this time

her turn was over now it was her turn she chose Maria, Justin Bieber she knew you loved this song

She sang looking into your eyes without looking away if you wanted to feel butterflies in your stomach, that look penetrating your eyes, you tried not to show anything, she was your best friend, you couldn't feel anything for her, right?...

after a few songs played and you sang finally the points were going to come out, you were extremely confident that you were going to win until you heard a scream coming from Bada

"FUCK HAHA I WON I FUCKING WON" You couldn't believe it she had won you had no reaction at all

"NO LIE NO CHANCE WAS STOLEN HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?" You were in denial that she had won meanwhile Bada laughed in your face she was red from laughing so hard she got from you

she looks into your eyes and asks "can I make my requests so Mrs. Y/n?"

You snort at her question and you immediately say "go ahead, make your wishes" you roll your eyes

"I'd like the tastiest chocolate ice cream I have with all the accompaniments, I'm in need of a cold ice cream, could you do that for me?"  She looks at you with a puppy face

an idea pops into your head and you immediately say "of course Miss Bada" with that you take your cell phone and run out of the room slamming the door of the room where Bada was, you went straight to an ice cream shop that she loved always when you went out she went there she loved the ice cream of that place, you took her ice cream and ran back to the room where Bada was lying on the couch fiddling with her cell phone Looking at some funny tweets, she jumped up when you opened the door hard, you handed her the ice cream and her eyes lit up when she saw that ice cream

"Happy now?" you ask to the tallest

And she replies: "Obviously, yes, look at this, my God, it must be delicious", she without thinking twice eats that ice cream with so much taste, but she thought of an idea...

After this rush you lay down on the couch and started to fiddle with your cell phone when you looked to the side Bada was all dirty with chocolate her white blouse was all stained her chin was covered in ice cream the around her mouth dripped chocolate in the pants of the tallest what you didn't expect was that she was doing this on purpose to tease you, You saw this scene and thought of nothing but laughing until your belly hurt with laughter

"Bada, you look like a child eating my god" you complain to the tallest one who doesn't even give the ball, but you keep eating your ice cream in a slow way, you get paralyzed and say "can you clean up please?" you keep laughing and take a picture of the tallest one putting it on your lock screen

"I'm going to go to the bathroom to get some paper for you to clean up, okay? and finish this ice cream soon, we have one more round, right?" you leave the room giving a wink to Bada and going to get paper for Bada you clean it, you go back to the room sitting next to Bada

And she had gotten even dirtier, you couldn't believe what you were seeing...

You get to clean shirt from the highest

"Did you have to get your white shirt dirty? Is that serious?" you see her giving a corner smile while still smearing herself with the chocolate

"Come on, eat this ice cream soon" you say anxiously already

"No, I said that I'm going to take my time with this ice cream and that's exactly what I'm going to do. It's not my fault," she says teasing you

"Whose fault is mine then? eat fast I'm getting sleepy already" you say lying on the couch across the room facing Bada while she ate you fell asleep and slept on the couch right there

She sees that you have fallen asleep and slowly she goes up to you and makes drawings all over your face, she covers your face with chocolate frosting while she did this she didn't hold back and had to laugh she didn't care if you woke up what she was most attached to as her face was funny with the drawings

----- time skip -----

01:57 am

you wake up at this time all sweaty and with your whole body aching right when you open your eyes you see Bada red from laughing so much but when you look at her quickly she changes her expression to a serious one trying to hold back her laughter

"I'll go to the bathroom, I'll be right back" you say leaving the room, right when you left Bada couldn't contain herself she was even now laughing at what she did to her face

A few minutes later you return to the room red with rage

"BADA, LEE, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FACE?" You ask her angrily but she couldn't hold back her laughter and fell to the floor laughing and you started laughing along your belly it hurt more and more that you were laughing

About 10 minutes went by and you were lying on the floor laughing until now you were out of breath from laughing

"LMAO, when we get to your house you're going to clean my face, that's your punishment for painting me like that" you say, trying to draw in the air to be able to talk between laughs

"Alright, alright," Bada says laughing even harder,

Her laugh was contagious, you'd see her laughing and you'd think "oh my god, how can a girl be so beautiful laughing" and you're still laughing with her

Minutes went by and you went down to go home, you were extremely tired especially bada

Right when you get home you ask

"Bada, can I wear one of your clothes? I didn't bring any clothes" you ask the tallest one who was entering the apartment turning on the lights

"Yes, you can! I have some big hoodies in my closet, you can take them, you'll enjoy wearing them," Bada says, smiling at you

you walk into Bada's room and you see how beautiful he is

you take a duckdive shirt with BADA written BADA on the back and on the front TEAM BEBE and a pair of black and white striped pants and show it to the taller one "can I get these two here?" you ask waiting for permission

"Of course!! you can take it" Bada says

Right after you change you go back to the room you can't help but notice Bada's mouth open when she saw you with her clothes, she was wearing a shirt just like yours but green from Duckdive without Bada on the back and red pants with black, you looked like a couple wearing matching things and Bada's heart races when he sees you.

"I'm feeling so Bada Lee right now" you laugh out loud

"You look beautiful just like me" Bada teases you with a scarstic tone

You sit facing the taller one waiting for her to wipe your face

"You look so cute that cute cat" she teases you

"Fuck you" you say as she wipes her face gently, her long and slender fingers were so soft, impure thoughts took over your mind, you could only think of her filling you with her fingers, but you were her best friend, you couldn't have those thoughts, right?

"That's it, I'm done, Miss Y/N," Bada says, stroking her face

"Thank you so much," you say, ruffling her hair a little.

it didn't take long for Badá to fall asleep...

until an idea popped into your mind "What if I make the same drawings she did on me?" you didn't think twice and went to Bada's bathroom to get a tube of toothpaste to put your plan into action

You stood next to Bada stroking her hair while putting some toothpaste on her fingers and running it over her face and writing "revenge" on her forehead

Right after that you went running to the bathroom to wash your hand so as not to leave it with the strong smell of mint

you lay down next to Bada and fell asleep in her arms, without realizing you were hugging Bada's waist sleeping on her chest

----Bada's vision------

I was pretending the whole time I was asleep to see Y/N's next move What was she going to do? I could smell the strong smell of mint and toothpaste running down my neck I could feel her heavy breathing on my chest I could feel the warmth of her body against mine I had never felt anything like this something took over my body but I couldn't do anything but fall asleep and wait for tomorrow...

Bada slept cuddling you, holding your body against hers, your breathing was synchronized

- - - - - Time Skip - - - - -

It's morning the sun beats down against Bada's bedroom window, she woke up just before you she was still holding you she didn't let go of you even for a moment

---Your Vision------

You wake up with your eyes half open by the glare of the sun, you see Bada staring at the window half pensive...

" Good morning Badari ! " you say looking at her wanting to laugh because of your face full of toothpaste

"Good morning miss y/n, could you explain to me what that would be on my beautiful and wonderful face?" Bada asks raising an eyebrow

You couldn't help but laugh She laughed along

"You'll see Y/n" she threatens you laughing

while Bada is still in bed you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your skin care with the highest products, while you do your skin care you get a call from Lusher, you answer the call saying

"Good morning Lusher!! All right?" you ask smearing the guasha on your face

Lusher notices that you are in the bathroom and asks "Everything yes!! What about you? Are you in Bada's house? how are you with the leader?" you choke on your saliva and say "Yes, she's fine, it's just that her face is a little weird" you say holding back your laughter

"What do you mean, strange?" Lusher asks for you

"BADARIIIIII" you call bada and she comes running to the bathroom tripping over her own foot

"Hey Bada!" says Lusher

"Hey Luster, how's it going?" says Bada, approaching the camera and grabbing her waist Pressing her body with your body it makes you blush and continues as if nothing happened, when Lusher sees the taller one's face full of toothpaste she starts laughing and Bada soon says "One more to make fun of my face, my god what a world this is" she says whimpering and pressing her waist harder, you look at the confused bada and then hang up the call saying goodbye to Lusher who was still laughing said she would tell you something important later, with that bada washed her own face and started her skin care.

You went down to Bada's kitchen and started making a well-prepared coffee for you and her

----Time Skip------

you were at the dinner table eating and talking and laughing at yesterday's events Bada enjoyed her food very much, she had never eaten home food as good as yours until...

"Y/n, can I make you a little bit of a personal request? And maybe it makes you mad? Bada says looking deep into his eyes

"Of course, go ahead if it's in my power I can carry out that request," you say taking a glass of water and drinking it slowly

Bada took courage within 19 years of friendship with you...

"So I... Can I kiss you?" Bada says red-faced and her hand covering her own face

After she says that, you end up drowning with the water, you didn't expect that kind of question... You didn't know what to feel It seems that the most awaited day has arrived, the day you have been waiting for the most has really arrived on a platter for you...

OK THIS IS REALLY GOOD!! forgive me if there are mistakes!! English is not my first language!! wait for more chapters... 🫶🏻 and also a merry Christmas!!

#bada lee #bada lee smut #bada imagine #swf2 x reader #bada fanfic #bada x reader #bada lee x y/n #lee bada #swf2 #street woman fighter 2 #wlw #gxg imagine #gxg #lusher #tatter #team bebe

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - unhealthy relationships, implied kidnapping, and obsessive behavior.

You could feel the knife's hilt beating against your palm like a living heart.

The leather-bound grip had been cold when you first picked it up, but it'd since been heated by your own white-knuckle grip, even the flat of the blade warm to the touch were it pressed against your forearm. You didn't dare breathe, didn't dare move from where you were; pressed against the shogun's chest, spread across her lap, your hands clasped at your midriff and hidden beneath the overlap of your flowing sleeves. She'd always insisted you be dressed in clothes designed not to fit - made just a little too big and just a little too ornate, as if you were a doll meant to be dressed in others' fineries. Today, her preferences had simply worked in your favor.

Ei was a warrior and a blacksmith, a woman who knew weapons from the moment of their creation to the second they were broken off in the chest of some unfortunate monster. If your knife shown through your sleeve, if you let its blade catch the dim candlelight of her personal chambers, she'd know in an instant, and you'd be stripped of both your acquired defenses and what few privileges you'd been able to earn since she first took a shine to you. Still, you could only do so much to fight your nerves, to stop yourself from shifting when your legs began to prick with numbness - a habit which Ei, thankfully, took as discomfort rather than anxiety.

Her reaction was one of honey-glazed sympathy, the kind of fondness you might show to a beloved pet that'd just tripped over its own feet. Her arm dropped away from her low desk and to your waist, where she took you up and pulled you ever-closer. You could feel her smile, soft and careless, against the crook of your shoulder, the stoicism she weld with such talent in front of her subjects falling away without a struggle. It'd always baffled you - how she seemed to content to bask in the company of the person in Inazuma who wanted to share hers the least. "Does my little beloved grow tired?" A short pause, a hesitant nod. You weren't - the adrenaline overshadowed any kind of exhaustion you'd be able to harbor - but she didn't have to know that. It'd help her to dismiss your fidgeting as nothing more than the tics of a mortal being. "Ah, my most sincere apologies. Just give me a few more minutes, then we'll go to bed together."

The very idea made you cringe, forced to recall the endless nights you spent wrapped in the arms of the unsleeping goddess with roaming hands, but you did what you could to melt into her, to make it seem like you were too worn down to fight the idea. "Why do we have to wait?" you asked, letting your words drawl together. "You shouldn't be working on anything so important this late at night."

"Just a going over a few reports from my commissioners. If all is well, I shouldn't have to do anything more than read." With a thoughtful hum, she put down the piece of parchment in her hand and reached across her desk, to the sealed scroll on the other side of the tabletop. "Say, love, do you know where I put my letter ope--"

You took your opportunity while she was distracted, tearing your knife from your sleeve and, without giving yourself time to think, thrusting it into her stomach. You didn't stop until the guard was flush to her skin, until you could force your shaking hand to release the hilt. You waited for her to recoil, to lash out, but the blow never came. For the longest time, she didn't seem to react at all.

And then, with no more ceremony than she might've taken to bat a fly from her hand or brush a spot of ink from your cheek, she clicked her tongue, reached down, and pulled the knife from her abdomen. No blood ran from the open wound, nor could you see the gore and viscera you had expected - just black void behind tattered fabric, as empty and as hollow as the woman who inhabited it. "I didn't realize you were in such a rush," she said, cutting through the seal binding her scroll with a single confident stroke and offering you a slight grin. "Next time you have something to give me, it may be less difficult to place it in my hand than my stomach."

You could feel yourself nod as something split open in your chest. There was a subtle crack, a distant ache, and with nothing else to do, you let yourself fall back against her chest, Ei welcoming you with open arms.

#woman loving wednesday #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere #yandere genshin #yandere genshin x you #yandere genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin impact #yandere genshin imagines #yandere ei #yandere raiden shogun #ei x reader #raiden shogun x reader #yanderecore #yancore