#tbh it doesn't fit right for me no matter how i order it

[sasperine]

#to settle an argument! #tbh it doesn't fit right for me no matter how i order it #alyosha is dark-haired which would make him the leftmost but he seems most like ivan to me #middle seems like mitya #but the rightmost doesn't match with my visions of any brother #the brothers karamazov #fyodor dostoevsky

[scintillyyy]

actually there is another super interesting way in which you can tell dixon is trying to narratively reward steph for her perserverence (aside from writing her to fit his sexist worldview and rewarding her for that) & almost the... "pick oneself up by their bootstraps and succeed no matter your circumstances and what barriers there may be" narrative he kind of has for her and that is with the evolving nature of her social class through her appearances while he writes her imo (the ultimate bootstraps story that conservatives love) (which also contributes to the vast difference of interpretations of steph's economic status)

so honestly, in her first appearance in detective comics #647-649 she is very much coded as coming from a background of lower class/working poor/welfare stereotypes with a criminal father and an addict mother.

their house is visibly run down & not taken care of. crystal is emaciated and wears a robe all day/doesn't bother to get dressed, doctor shops for pills, and is whiny about how she'll get sicker without the prescription pills she's addicted to (you know nothing about crystal's initial aesthetics screams welfare queen imagery to me, tbh. they certainly don't seem to be implied to be "scamming the system just to live it up on steaks and lobster" and dixon would be way more overt about welfare fraud. i would call this more "white trash poor person" imagery as i imagine he sees it.).

interestingly though is the framing of steph by dixon as incredibly positive in comparison to her surroundings. in a way she's conceived as someone who is fighting against the poor circumstances that she was born into--she's going to be spoiler and rise above her criminal father and compared to her mother who can't be bothered to get dressed because she's always high, steph's going to dress nicely. those jeans she's wearing? that back pattern pocket is pretty iconically calvin klein. those were like. status symbol jeans of the 90s. now i'm not here to argue about affordability indicating she's way richer than she actually is here, because this was the 90s and steph very much could have afforded nice clothes and a vespa for herself on her summer/part-time job (in fact the clothes she wears on her vespa are pretty implied to be some sort of part-time job uniform), but it's a very interesting contrast that dixon draws, especially considering his biases. like you can tell he thinks that steph is in no way responsible for her circumstances (it's not her fault that her dad is a criminal and her mom is an addict) & and that being born into her circumstances don't mean she's doomed to end up like them--as long as she works hard and does the right thing, she'll be rewarded. in this case, she'll present herself as higher class/act classier than her unfortunate surroundings (via her external presentation of herself--she'll work hard and get the things she deserves for her hard work and effort) & resoundingly reject following her criminal father's footsteps by becoming the spoiler in order to cement herself as Not Like That. like he went out of his way to make her circumstances be more stereotypically poor and then show her as being above all that. she's the noble poor to her unfortunate white trash circumstances. (which is in line with dixon's classism and conservative viewpoint that it's okay to be poor, as long as you're white and don't act like those people do and hate your circumstances/are motivated to rise above them).

and this thread of how crystal is/stephanie's circumstances continues through crysal's next two appearances in robin #3 and showcase '95 #5 (though this was was written by keri kowalski, not dixon). she's still presented with very stereotypical aesthetics: she's never dressed, at this point, it's not implied she works...

and again, you can tell that dixon likes steph despite the fact that he wrote her as poor in her initial appearances because he often writes her as though he considers her above her circumstances (because those aren't her fault and she's working hard to not be like that).

the interesting thing is how this evolves once crystal kicks her addiction. which. frankly, i don't believe we ever see exactly when this happens? she's still an addict in showcase '95, but by her next appearance in robin #43 in 1997, she seems to. certainly be different than she was portrayed in her few initial appearances and appears to probably be sober at this point.

she's well put together and clearly employed, a far cry from the initial imagery dixon initially used for her. now it doesn't say she's a nurse here, just that she works at the hospital, but the white shoes and dress are an imagery giveaway. and now making steph's mom a nurse is actually kind of a soft retcon of her previously implied situation and a pretty interesting one at that because nursing--nursing and teaching occupations back in the 80s and 90s (and even today for nursing) iirc were considered good jobs to the middle class, on account of them being professional and steady jobs that required a degree of some sort that couldn't be automated or sent overseas (and there's a shortage, they need nurses!), like other jobs that were being lost at the time. so by making her mom a nurse, dixon was explicitly cementing their family circumstances as middle class as opposed to implied poor like their very initial appearances (or even what might've been considered "working class" at the time by certain economic theories, given that nursing isn't necessarily considered an "unskilled" job and does require college + it may be considered a pink collar job but in general there's good job security so it's such a gray area) (forgive my use of quotations here, i don't personally believe that jobs are unskilled and that the working class is a nebulous term that is illdefined and covers many different jobs with vastly different potential salary opportunities. a union working class electrician could very well be upper middle class based on salary, low cost of living, and lack of debt compared to someone who works at minimum wage, lives in a HCOL area, and has 75k in college loans but both are considered working class because they provide labor for wages) (i'm thinking of a 90s working class that was viewed between the middle class and the poor that consisted of a lot of what people considered blue collar or routizined work, but again, that means almost nothing in terms of salary potential and economic opportunity. plumber and warehouse worker are both considered blue collar, but their economic circumstances can vastly differ, but i digress-)

which is actually a pretty interesting evolution to her initial implied socioeconomic circumstances. because if her mom is a nurse & has a middle class job, then their economic issues previously weren't necessarily just that they were poor. it's that they were middle class fallen on hard times. which also coincides with the shift in the 90s where people were starting to be frightened of the middle class getting ravaged by the opioid/drug crisis. so now crystal isn't a stereotypical poor white trash addict, she's a middle-class worker who fell on hard times. and if they were struggling with finances, it wasn't that they were poor, it was more to do with struggling on account of crystal's addictions and having to deal with steph's dad/pay for him/he used their money and house for his villainy. and you end up because of this retcon having this issue where yea, she was initially presented as poor. but for the vast majority of her appearances, when she more consistently started to have a presence, she's written as middle class fallen on hard times. and you get this dissonance in her reading where it's like, yea, at the beginning, she was poor (and in far more stereotypical circumstances), so you can't say she never struggled financially. but also to claim she's just poor is to go against a lot of imagery that indicates more of a lower middle class (middle class, but struggling/tighter finances/no significant wiggle room), such as having a mom who's a nurse, having a home computer, etc. and in this case i really don't think this was just a case of dixon not knowing how to write a poor person (though that's definitely somewhat involved, this is dixon after all), because the choice of profession for her mother and giving her access to a home computer in the 90s and the overall improvement of her perceived home environment as the series progressed do seem like a deliberate choice on dixon's part. he probably would have known that nursing was considered a "good, steady" job to have.

anyways, i don't necessarily think this retcon is. necessarily worst thing in the world. it's much less stereotypical than poor/bad people are in poor/bad situations because of their choices and it acknowledges that people in all socioeconomic tiers can struggle with issues like crime and addiction.

alright, continuing on. there's an interesting thread in the steph pregnancy arc that has crystal ruminate on how steph ended up that way because crystal was a bad influence for marrying arthur and the pills. but because chuck has decided that the browns are more lower middle class than straight lower class there's a bit of a redemption/reimagining of his initial poor view of crystal once she gets sober and a marked improvement in the appearance of their socioecomonic status. take robin #58 for example.

crystal gets to support and affirm steph, be present (unlike her initial appearances). and in robin #84 after she's aware of steph's going out as spoiler after having recently found the spoiler costume (and trying to put her down about it--compared to when steph was doing spoiler stuff in the kitchen and her mom didn't even notice because she was high) and the visual design of the inside of their their house has definitely improved from run down to standard middle class, fairly nice looking.

which again feels fairly deliberate to me. because it doesn't just seem like dixon not understanding what it means to be poor, there's a deliberate moving of steph's socioeconomic status up more towards middle class once her mom gets sober which i feel like aligns nicely with chuck's viewpoint that if you're poor, you're poor because of bad choices and once you make good choices you can settle back into relative comfort.

and notably he gives even bigger reward to crystal for kicking her habit and make better choices and renouncing her husband's criminal ways (when she found out steph was spoiler and turned him in she was like "hah, serves him right"--compare this to when she was implied to be visiting him in steph's first appearance and she was being presented poorly): she, like steph, will now get sympathy for being put in a situation out of her control and the hard times that have fallen upon them. in robin #93 and #94 arthur comes home and parks himself there and nobody likes it.

and yea, they're shown to be struggling--crystal doesn't have extra money laying around to hire a lawyer to kick our her husband--a long, arduous, expensive process (+in robin #94 she's shown as being fed up with the court process as well). but rather than her being treated bad by narrative for not having money, she's presented quite sympathetically. she doesn't want them there or have anything to do with them. she's a hardworking, middle class woman who maybe fell on hard times because of her past addictions and having a criminal husband, but because she did the right thing and got clean and renounced those ways. she's not being seen as culpable to the situation--she's being seen as a victim of it this time. anyways, dixon eventually resolves the situation by sending dinah over to kick out the villains inhabiting her home, which shows that he thinks that they're (crystal and steph) deserving of being saved from the circumstances that keep them down (because they're hardworking people who are actively trying to get out of their situation and better themselves). and it aligns quite nicely with his conservative view of the world, that people who work hard get rewarded for their hard work and good things happen to them.

like i'm not going to pretend that the browns are rich by any means. they're clearly not. but there's an interesting way in which dixon improves steph's class as a reward for her perserverence. the last mention we get of any potential class by dixon is her conversation with tim in robin #100 where tim is catastrophizing about the loss of his money (which i know is nagl), but it also doesn't exactly imply she's poor and she's not exactly mad at him for being tone-deaf. she's just matter of fact about not understanding the big deal--just that she fights crime on a budget. so it's more her way of telling tim that he doesn't have to worry about the money thing/going down to middle class when it comes to being robin--after all, she's done just fine as spoiler by being smart with her money. which is actually fairly in line with dixon's viewpoint that if you make good decisions with your money, you'll do just fine and can/should afford to do what you want.

his biases and politics are sooo obvious with the browns tbh. all in all, the way he writes the browns (crystal & stephanie) wrt class i get a lot of flavors of that stupid fucking hillbilly elegy book. they're not poor welfare recipients because they're the true, hardworking people who deserve to be middle class. they were down on their luck and made bad decisions and had unfortunate things happen to them (arthur, crystal's addiction), but they overcame that like good hardworking americans (became spoiler, got sober) and as a result their economic situation improves as god intended. anyways, like i said before. it makes it so hard to be like "yea, steph was poor!" without leaning into dixon's stereotypes of poor people (addiction, criminality) and when he does write them as poor/struggling he writes them as the "true poor" "the good poor people who would never depend on aid, they just work hard to reject their circumstances and elevate themselves as they should". but it's also hard to uncomplicatedly say she was middle class, because despite being presented as lower middle class for a lot of her appearances, it's also another part of dixon's classism that has him improving their economic class over time because it's an improvement inexorably linked to his belief that hardworking americans can just pull themselves up by their bootstraps because he shows steph and crystal doing just that.

& i think of how it was initially dixon's idea to maybe make steph robin in a storyline & i can't help but feel that's almost a continuation/conclusion of the bootstraps narrative he has for steph.

idk it's just hard for me to say that dixon looked down on steph for being poor/being lower middle class because her story of self-improvement is so tied to the conservative belief of upward mobility with hard work. it's extremely classist. and yet it's still there. on the paper.

bonus, just to prove he sees them (the browns) as a lower middle class family who wouldn't be struggling so much if the government would just stop taking all their money in taxes:

#listen tim gets to be a dixon mouthpiece a lot to extoll the virtues of the rich #but the browns are also very much written as his way of extolling the 'poor dears plighted by taxes to pay for the poors' lower middle clas #and it's hard to be like well that's unrealistic when that socioeconomic class has gotten convinced of the ideals of conservatism #it's just another one of the unfortunate realities of her creation and the fact that she was dixon's darling #no matter which way you perceive her...classism and conservative ideals of economics are involved

[eepybubble]

tell me about stained glass

yay!! it's so fun i can't wait to do it again i'm gonna tell you the whole process

so first you need to pick out your pattern/draw the design, make sure there's no weak points (lines directly through the entire piece etc)

once that's set you get to pick out your glass :D some glass is thicker than others but it doesn't matter too much unless you want it to be all the same, there's lots of different textures as well whcih can look really cool

next step is to trace the pattern into the pieces, you wanna go for the edge of the glass to save as much as possible for future projects, and if it's too opaque you need to either use a light box or cut out that part of the pattern

when it's all traced you're gonna start cutting. so get your little tool, make sure you're standing in order to get the pressure and right angle

this is the glass cutter ^^

now you gotta smooth that shit down so here's this guy

he's a glass grinder he sands down the sides into the right shape and makes sure you don't cut yourself as much. the bit is in the middle and you hold the glass with ur fingers and press it into the bit to grind it down

next is foiling but before that is cleaning bc the grinder has water in it and it mixes with the glass particles and makes it all icky so get some glass cleaner and wipe it down with a cloth

now time for foiling

this is copper foil, it comes in rolls with different thicknesses. generally one size fits most glass but thicker ones need thicker foil so it covers the side and equally on the front and back of the glass

i tend to start near a corner, then you're going to wrap it around being careful that the glass goes in the middle of the foil. once it's wrapped around once make sure it overlaps with the beginning about 1/4-1/2 inch, here you cut it

press the foil down on the sides and top and bottom of the glass, then get some kind of tool (can be anything tbh even a pencil or ruler) and rub the foil into the glass so it is fully pressed down

(random piece i found on the internet with foiled glass)

onto soldering :D

once it's foiled you're going to put the pieces together how you want them to lay in the final product. first is tacking, aka putting a small amount of solder on the intersections of glass. before soldering anything you need to put flux on the section you are soldering. (btw solder only sticks to foil not glass) flux basically is a liquid that prevents oxidation on the copper foil, making the solder stick.

there's lead free and leaded solder, i've only worked with lead free but many professional stained glass artists use leaded. it acts a bit differently when soldering but works just as well.

after tacking is the actual soldering. basically you take a stick of solder and a soldering iron and hold the solder right behind the iron so it melts and sort of drips down the edge of the iron onto the foil as you bring your iron across the foil. once you solder one side, flip it over and do the other, then the sides which is a bit different, with more tacking

after soldering you gotta clean it cuz it's dirty again so head to the sink and get some soap and a brush and scrub that shit off

then if you want you can add patina which can make the solder black or other colors i think

then there's polishing which you just scrub on with a cotton pad, you can buff it after this with just a cloth to make it extra shiny but yeah that itttt

ty for letting me rant about this if you have any more questions lemme know <3

#borf barks #asks

[sunnysideoflondon]

can i just say i love the demoni album (by joker out)?? every song literally goes so hard even the one i'd rank last if i had to is really goddamn good. i also like how the album contrasts with umazane misli (the album not the song) as its sort of about falling in love whilst demoni is like falling out of love? i haven't listened to the majority of umazane misli so im sorry if im wrong lmfao anyway. i had a thought that was like "the track order is usually on purpose right?" so that prompted me to make a summary of the contents of each song and i was like wait. this is a storyline. sorry again if these summaries are not fully correct i made them with one braincell and i dont have the energy to look up the lyrics again haha ok so katrina is like just post-breakup. "why do you keep on playing me. do you love me or not? i need you and hate you at the same time". ne bi smel is like "im sorry this was all my fault but i didnt have any other choice. i want you back but i know i betrayed you. it's my fault. im sorry". plastika is sort of like a side thing possibly its about hating how you look and having surgery to look perfect and beautiful. "it doesn't matter about anything else, im perfect now". i think this song has a deeper meaning that would fit more cleanly into the storyline of the other songs but im not big brained enough to figure out how exactly if i figure out ill update this. now, massive whiplash as we jump into demoni which is like "i need you here. when im not here my demons play with me" (idk how to better explain it besides just drawing from the og lyrics hah) important to note that this song is the title track. padam is like "i should've believed them instead of going through with us. someone help me. please. where is everyone?" vse kar vem is like "everything ends eventually, you just didn't need me anymore". ona is like "you never cared. but i care so much. so so much". tokio is like "we're not gonna see each other again. only photos will know we were together". note the more peaceful music as opposed to the deeply upset vibe of the others. kind of ironic how ngvot is like "ah, so we meet again. we've both changed albeit differently. we don't talk about it anymore though!" note the incredibly happy music of the song it's so incredibly jarring hearing them repeat "we dont talk about it anymore" with this happy ass music lmfao lastly novi val is like really abstract and could really mean a lot of things. i take it as a general message but it could really be anything. also note that it makes me want to cry so bad. one day im gonna bawl my eyes out because of that goddamn song agh OKAY UM OKAY. so basically the whole album is about a slow acceptance of the breakup but still feeling bitter about it at the end. i think. however this mystery person (probably called katrina) that the singer broke up with could've been anything tbh. you can interpret this really broadly and i think that's why i like the album so much too. it doesnt have to just be about events and feelings post-breakup but also just things in a general sense. so you can find solace in the album regardless of what your situation is. i think thats pretty neat.

or maybe im just overthinking it haha :D

#mine #oops my hand slipped #but if you couldnt tell im a big demoni (album) fan :) #also wishing i could put this in the joker out tag but i am too scared :( #shit why is this so long LMFAO

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

Endearing things about Sim!Ed and Sim!Stede that keep making me smile, in no particular order:

This is Sim!Stede. (It took me a while to find suitably slutty shirts for him.) Who is he looking at like that?

Sim!Ed of course. They have been sitting there (the bar in their open space kitchen/living room) for a while, completely absorbed in chatting each other up in the cute simlish gibberish language. You can just sit one of them down somewhere and the other is going to join and talk to him for hours. They will ignore anything else.

- In a hilarious parallel to canon, after Ed confessed his crush to Stede and told him he's into guys in general and into Stede specifically, Stede went on a while like "this is my best friend Ed who's great" (they were already best friends at that time). Sim!Ed was sitting there making heart eyes across the breakfast table (because OMG they were roommates) and Sim!Stede was like "gotta tell my best friend Ed how much I like spending time with him and talking about hobbies!" 😂

Then Stede caught on, and decided to make up for the delay by being very into the wooing bit. Like, he'd get up, and immediately think of wanting to kiss Ed. No thoughts, only Ed.

- He's not alone there, Ed is equally Stede-focused. I had them spend a date at a local park early on. They had barbecue, then wandered around. Stop to chat with each other. Some random female NPC walks by. Takes one look at Sim!Ed and apparently decides he's her new crush (not blaming her, he's adorable, probably irresistible if you are another little virtual person), so she stops and starts hitting on him. Unfortunately for her, Sim!Ed is a) gay and b) currently busy staring at Sim!Stede, who just offered him a rose. Sim!Ed has little hearts floating around his little head and only eyes for Stede. He doesn't even notice the NPC trying to hit on him. Sim!Stede notices her, but instead of saying anything to her takes Sim!Ed by the waist and dips him in a kiss. NPC girl throws a fit and stalks off. Sim!Ed has failed to notice anything about that. He still has hearts floating around his pretty little head, and absolutely zero thoughts inside it. ����

- It took like what felt a ridiculously short time until they were both completely obsessed with each other. One of them is doing something, no matter what it is, and chances are he will randomly think of the other one and how much he needs to flirt or just hang out with him. They see each other and bam, their mood goes right to either very happy or directly to flirty.

At this point they frequently just stop in the middle of an activity if the other happens to walk by. Yesterday Stede was supposed to make pancakes for breakfast. He got up before Ed (he usually does), so I figured that means he's in charge of breakfast, so I sent him to make pancakes. He got out a little bowl and mixed the batter. The next step would have been taking that to the stove and getting a pan to make the actual pancakes in. But, alas, Ed got up, and wandered by the kitchen on his way to the bathroom, in a purple robe and fluffy socks, looking really soft and cute, and Stede forgot about the pancakes entirely. They made out and chatted for half an hour, and I was sitting there like "Stede, your pancakes! And Ed really needs to pee!" 😂

- They also have really cute little character quirks I didn't set or expect to be there in the game at all. Stede has a bookworm trait, so his love of reading is understandable. But he's also obsessed with his phone (kinda more than with books, tbh). It's the only thing that can mildly distract him away from his one-track-Ed-focus mindset. He gets that thing out mid-conversation. He doesn't stop talking to Ed, he just also scrolls his phone. (Ed also has a phone, but he only opens it when nothing else is going on.)

- Ed is a napper. Stede sleeps and naps when he has low energy, which is reasonable. Ed just likes naps? He doesn't even need to be tired. It's like he sees a vaguely suitable piece of furniture, asks "is anyone sleeping on that?" and doesn't wait for an answer. If you wonder where Ed is, chances are he'll be having a nap. In the bed in the middle of the day. On the small living room/library loveseat by the fireplace. On the. Park bench in the public area that borders their garden? Ed, you have so many nice napping spots at home!

He slept on all the couches in the house, on either side of the bed, on the pool loungers, on a random bench in the public area that borders his and Stede's garden... He's just a sleepy little guy.🥹 (Sometimes I just watch him for a while. It's so cute. Very peaceful. Blorbo simulator is going great, guys, I get to watch them be happy!)

- Ed loves bubble baths. When I first got them into their (then) little house, I got them both a shower and a tub. I sent them both to try out the bath and shower. So they know they have options. (Do you need to do that? Probably not, but I do it like that.) But when deciding to go wash up on their own, Stede takes a shower and is done with it. Ed only showers when told to. Ed has tried the bathtub once and fell in love with it. (I was actually a little bummed that Stede doesn't do that, because in my head canon!Ed and Stede are a bathtub queen for bathtub queen couple, but I'm not going to take away Sim!Stede's shower if he prefers that, who am I, an evil god?)

- Stede cheats at chess. Ed overall seems to like the chess set better, he plays with it by himself, too. Stede only plays video games unprompted lol. He plays chess with Ed when Ed invites him to. And then he distracts Ed by pointing at something behind him and when Ed turns to look he rearranges the pieces.

Ed, sweetie, don't look so confused, you are losing because your boyfriend is cheating!

Also I think that particular game of chess was foreplay for them. They were sitting there at the table, doing 90% flirty conversation and 10% chess playing. And immediately, unprompted, decided to fuck after. (I don't even know who won the game or if they completed it.)

I suppose the game went well enough? They don't look unhappy about the outcome. 😉

#ofmd sims #ofmd #teeny rambles #blorbo simulator

[tsukidrama]

alice in borderland ending is so ass booty garbage, a rant by me.

okay yeah, i get what the borderland is. its purgatory. all of their hearts stopped and they were between life and death. they're all literally fighting for their lives. if they die in the games they die in real life. but tbh ANY of the scenarios Mira describes would feel like a more fitting ending.

it doesn't make sense that the only thing that really mattered for their survival was their own "desire to live"? i get it from a storytelling perspective in that, well we need the main characters to be alive. but then that makes every death that happened in the games completely pointless. the sacrifices that Chota and Karube made mean absolutely nothing. very few of the people who died WANTED to die? i think of the girl from s1e1 in the very first game, who ran through the wrong door and was lazered. she ran through the door because she wanted to survive - so why did she get shot in the head? how is that not contradictory? the games clearly do not care about the contestants' will to live so i don't get how that can be the reason that the "winners" survive.

what happens to the people who accept residency in the borderlands? do they die for real or do they get to stay there? it would have made more sense for the face cards to be permanent residents. and that would have explained why the games are so inhuman, because the game masters are legit distanced from humanity. or for the permanent residents to be the unexplained people who were watching the games on monitors and betting on the contestants.

so who are any of those people then? does it ever explain? why the hell were cardholders were chosen to be cardholders? if the games were testing everyone, then why were they not all being tested in the same way? like bruh the tests have to be the same in order to be neutral. everyone getting different tests only shows their reaction to a specific situation.

i also don't get why they're being punished in the borderlands. like that's just some nihilistic shit right there! everyone regardless of how they behaved during their lifetime is forced through actual torture. that's Hell! and while i may be approaching the idea of purgatory with a western Christian view, it doesn't make sense that they're being punished just for existing. this system only rewards you if you're very selfish or a sinless little angel.

i saw that in the manga, the driving force behind everything happening is an entity called the Joker, which explains the TV show ending on that card. but the way that the episode ended definitely implied that he was the next thing that was gonna come terrorize them, and not what they'd already faced. everything about s2e8 read like an ending except for that.

is the reason behind all the horror because the Joker made it that way? does he influence the choices that people make? are the people who come to the borderlands the ones responsible for their own misery, and he is just a neutral observer? i guess im just confused by the choice to leave the Joker out (though from what i can tell, the manga doesn't elaborate very much).

can somebody who has read the manga let me know if overall that version makes any more sense? or are there just as many plot holes/unanswered questions? i was really into the series up until the very last episode.

i understand that there's supposed to be an element of "life isn't fair" when it comes to this show. but like??? it's too much! it's too pessimistic, too unfair. it takes away the idea that kindness and love MATTER, that they make a difference. i hate that good people were at a disadvantage in this universe. the only times where things went well for anyone was when people decided to trust each other and work together (good example: Usagi rallying everyone against the Queen of Spades).

my issue is NOT that the borderlands turned out to be the afterlife. it's that it's a very stupid and pessimist take on the afterlife that showcases the darkness in humanity. it's significant that loving and being loved is what got Arisu through until the end. love doesn't exist in the borderlands. but that's fucked up!

the idea is very interesting in concept but was poorly executed in the end. i also don't really get why EVERYONE could go home if it was only Arisu who played and won the final game? that doesn't make sense. i might have missed something there.

tldr; maybe The Good Place has ruined every other show about the afterlife for me. or maybe the Alice in Borderland ending just... sucks?

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland spoilers #alice in borderland meta #aib spoilers #aib 2 spoilers #tsuki speaks

[readsofawe]

During the Days of Awe, I read 10 books, covering 21 out of the 25 bingo squares and netting me 7 bingos! Here they all are, in the order I read them:

The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon [out of your comfort zone, science fiction, blue cover]

A Moon for Moe and Mo by Jane Breskin Zalben [picture book]

Autonomous by Annalee Newitz [science fiction, LGBT rep]

The Mathematician's Shiva by Stuart Rojstaczer [contemporary, about forgiveness, audiobook]

Burning Girls and Other Stories by Veronica Schanoes [short story, fantasy, non-Holocaust historical, LGBT rep, fall colors]

The Deep by Rivers Solomon [novella, Jewish author of color, LGBT rep] (other editions have blue covers but the one I own doesn't)

It's a Whole Spiel ed. Katherine Locke and Laura Silverman [YA, short stories, blue cover, about renewal, LGBT rep, frum rep, contemporary, fantasy]

A Ceiling Made of Eggshells by Gail Carson Levine [MG/children's, non-holocaust historical, arguably also frum rep]

Cool for the Summer by Dahlia Adler [YA, LGBT Rep, contemporary]

We are Satellites by Sarah Pinsker [science fiction, LGBT rep, audiobook]

+ the Torah portions for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur [translation, Torah/Haftora]

+ the poem "How Divine is Forgiving" by Marge Piercy [poetry]

I read a lot, and even for me, that's a staggering amount of reading! My brain feels. A little microwaved (although tbh that could be the fasting). I also took and posted photographs every day, engaged with other people on three different social media platforms, got retweeted by authors I really admire (Dahlia Adler! Sasha Lamb!), gave a lot of people an opportunity to self promo, and more people a reason to think about Jewish books.

I had an absolute blast. I'm 100% doing this again next year.

More thoughts below the cut!

As I read, a few themes kept recurring. None of them are in all of books, but all are in at least a few:

Math and Science: Biochemists, mathematical geniuses, chess prodigies, girls who count to keep calm, quiz bowl champs—these pages are full of analytical minds trying to fit their worlds into quantitative spaces. The narratives values intelligence, but also, intelligence isn't always enough to save the characters.

Activism: These protagonists march for gun control, pirate drugs to circumvent Big Pharma, run for office, negotiate with royalty, spill stories to the press. Even the protagonist of The Yiddish Policeman's Union, who considers himself deliberately apolitical, is swept up in his world's politics. So many of the narratives are explicit in their politics. It's not implied or made metaphor, but direct.

Diaspora: In every historical story I read, the Jews repeat to themselves and each other, we are safe here, with the narrative signposting that um, no they're not. It's in the science fiction as well. The characters are waiting for the rug to be pulled. Home is never something that lasts forever.

Family Drama: Many of these stories have familial relationships at the forefront, and they're often pretty rough. Parents and children consistently fail to understand one another. Spouses lie and fight and divorce. Siblings undermine each other. And yet almost none of the stories have families who are estranged from one another. All of these families keep trying and trying.

Anxiety: Jewish writers need to fucking chill (myself 100% included). These characters are scared of talking to girls, scared of talking to boys, scared of being honest with their feelings. They're certain that the people around them are hostile (and to be fair, sometimes they're right), they struggle to talk in groups, they compulsively check on their loved ones. Just a stressed group of people.

Joy: Especially in darkness, joy. Music and dancing are common. So is sex. Lots of these books are comedies—the ones with the direst subject matter have the lightest tones.

If you put these things all together—intellectualism, activism, rootlessness, family, anxiety, joy—plus the thing implied by the existence of Jewish books—art—you get about as good a summary of the Jewish Experience as is possible. Or maybe just the Human Experience.

I wonder if these themes will persist in my reading next year, or if I'll find other commonalties among those books. I'm excited to find out!

#readsofawe #if you did this post your own bingo! #it's chill if you didn't get one I'm just so curious

[castle-dominion]

c1x2 nanny mcdead

I remember this song.

Gal in a machine! Cool!

Police lawyer: Mr. Castle, these waivers are serious business. Perhaps you’d feel more comfortable by referring the matter to your attorney. RC: What, are you kidding? He’d never let me sign these. But, fortunately, it's his job is to get me out of trouble, and not to prevent me from getting into it.

Get to the point ryan. (btw I'm so glad to be watching these in reverse order, if I had gone from s3 finale to this episode I would have gotten whiplash.)

I love the banter w rysposito. JE: Now if that’s not a cautionary tale about poking through someone else’s laundry, I don’t know what is. KR: Dude, there is an etiquette involved. If the clothes were dry, Mrs. Rosenberg had every right to put them in a basket. Now, if you’re gonna tell me she folded them, then it gets a little creepy. JE: I'm sorry, someone starts rooting around my underwear without an invitation? I’m taking that as a serious breach of hygiene. KB: I thought you went commando, Esposito. (How does she know this...?) JE, tilting his head: Well, it's a seasonal thing. (& also less hygienic my dude. For someone worried about ppl poking thru ur undies u ought to be concenrned abt the hygiene of not wearing underwear.)

CASTLE Hard to say. When I'm writing a new character, there’s no telling when inspiration might strike.

BECKETT I thought I was your inspiration.

CASTLE Oh you are, Detective, and in so many ways.

BECKETT Yeah, well, then your inspiration might strike you sooner than you think.

(https://scriptline.livejournal.com/17581.html)

lol "just ny"

RC: Three men huddled around a computer. That better not be porn. And if it is, I want in. Is that a thing? Do men watch porn together? Isn't it kind of gay?

It's new york, there is no such thing as neighborship.

[Castle looks at Beckett. ]

CASTLE (CONT'D) We all know girls like that, don't we?

[Beckett rolls her eyes and sees the three, Esposito, even Captain Montgomery drawn in. And all of them looking at her. ]

Was 8b an actual person or was he just pulling a number out of thin air?

Hey. I cook, you clean. You cook, I clean.

AC: You were the crazy homeless woman. RC: And some might say, still are.

They actually wore Stuff when seeing the body this time!

I forgot Lanie was a fan, apparently he writes death well.

LP: But what I thought you might find really interesting is the fact that she had sex within the hours before her death. KB: Sex? RC: I’ll explain how that works later.

I mean he doesn't want to get an std from her too, but then again you're right about "smart guy" or whatever.

RC: ‘Cause no man likes getting dumped. Am I right? Our egos can’t handle it. *starts telling a story & then stops as soon as he sees beckett's face*

you shouldn't lie bro

Castle: seeming so cute & fatherly Castle the next second: manwhore

I miss being fit enough to play on the playground like that. I went on the monkey bars outside church the other day (yes I'm an adult).

lesbian flag lookin scarf

RC: We could always make it strip poker. Mystery to horror XD XD

Boy looks like he's on drugs. Girl tell them that bro! You made it sound like you were having an affair with sara & then u were offended when they made that assumption???

Ryan reading castle's books <3 beckett got him into it huh.

Wow castle just names a famous lesbian couple. Maybe that's why u think commitment is over. only love is queer.

Beckettt & her red scarf, ryan & his tie looking more like normal (tho tbh I might prefer the college-student look)

RYAN Guess who wasn’t where they said they were the day Sara Manning was killed? BECKETT Who? [Beckett reaches for the paper, but Ryan pulls it out of reach] RYAN Come on, you got to guess. [Ryan continues to dodge] BECKETT Ryan. Ryan. I’m not guessing. RYAN You’re a killjoy, you know that?

Probs smart of her to lie in front of her husband abt divorce there.

Alexis looking so cute like that. Why does he watch two at the same time? The stopping & starting of the elevator does not make sense with the timing.

seventy-seven ain't beyond the realm of possibility! Man acting sus af. So true Castle. Love the finger prints on the mirror. So not smooth Castle. K but where did castle get her number?

Castle's outfits today are not matching his style in future seasons, i dislike it but I like the variety.

If he was home all day, why did they hire a nanny? Was he really that busy or sleepy?

RM playing with a baseball <3

They said the next person on the elevator was the old lady changing her clothes! Inconsistency!

I like how they just go in there, 10/10. RC: Whoa! No! Come on! Come on! I already signed my life away. What more do you want? RC: Hope to die. WAIT NO Why she gotta take off her scarf like that

I love hearing ppl yell or whisper or speak softly.

Back to the laundry room eh? That's more of an end goal than a plan. Oof this scene was great for me. I'm going to have to tag this as mom no look bc hoo babey love me a good thigh bleed. Castle she said not to go in. Girl holster your gun, don't put it on the ground. Love the way her pants are shredded. B'y he's probably manipulating u. When did you see him look at her...? She would probably be using much faster slashes imo, but that depends on the goal. Raises the pinky finger all fancy like. The dryer...???? Where is ryan? Espt was told to get everyone up the stairs but where was ryan? Was he with the family upstairs?

Alexis <3 <3 I love alexis & castle, they are me & my mom in several ways, & sometimes role reversal too.

Nice fencing swords. awww that's such a cute pic!

#mom no look #castle 1x2 #castle 1x2 quote #castle 1x2 spoilers

[golbrocklovely]

I’ve worked in retail for years (including walmart) and I’ve never heard of having too many items for self checkout??? Even at a smaller store…that’s just weird. I would’ve been put off about it too.

I can understand having a bad day, but I never took it out on anyone. Especially customers. So like, what’s his deal lol? Maybe I’m a tad bit dramatic but it sounds like he’s like ….targeting you? Idk, if it was me I would complain if it happened again. My anxiety would never allow me back into the store.

that's the thing, there wasn't a sign saying "you can only have X amount of items" or anything like that. i think, highkey, he was just kinda being a dick to me for some reason. i don't think he recognized me bc i've only ever interacted with him these two times, but… maybe???

in these type of instances, i try my best to give the benefit of the doubt. like, maybe he was having a shit day, maybe i was somehow holding him up from taking his break, maybe he did remember me from the last time and idk… doesn't like me bc of it. not sure tbh. but i remember our last interaction, and it wasn't like i thru a hissy-fit or something. i literally was just like "oh" and kept it moving lol

i think, like many ppl, he kinda sees the self checkout area as like "oh i have two items, might as well scan them myself" which is great and i get that. but, if i want scan my items myself, and i have a lot of items, then i'm allowed to do that.

and like i said in my rant, there was only one lane open to begin with, that also had a line. when i went to self checkout, out of the six registers, there was only 4 taken (if that) so it wasn't like i was holding up the line or something. well, at least not in that moment lol

bc i'm serious, when he said that to me, part of me wanted to be a bitch strictly bc like… he's wrong. but 9/10 times when ppl act like assholes to me, i just kinda blink at them and walk away. so the very next best thing i could do in that moment is become a problem and hold up the line (but also not really since there is five other registers ppl can go to).

i will say, it was funny at one point bc right after he said that to me, these two ladies came up and were trying to buy three cases of water bc they swore up and down that the sign said buy 2 get one 1 free. he had to call a manager over and everything and honestly it was kinda funny to see him get annoyed sksks

and i've been going to this store longer than this person has been working there. even with my social anxiety, i ain't gonna stop going bc he's a dick. if it's that bad, i'll go full karen mode. well, maybe not that badly, but like i would DEFINITELY talk to a manager bc at that point it's either personal or he's just a shitty worker.

this is gonna be a slight tangent to everything but also not.

so like i mentioned before, my family when we would go food shopping, we would buy a lot of stuff. kinda like do a whole month shopping in one trip. and the amount of times ppl would see us walk up the registers with our cart overflowing with food and just look so annoyed always confused me as a kid and still does now.

bc what is the difference (when you're a cashier) between let's say five ppl coming up with a couple items a piece, or two ppl coming up with bigger orders. like…. i just don't get it. it always felt like the cashiers i interacted with liked the smaller item orders over the bigger ones when… why does it matter? you're still standing there for a couple hours at a time. when i worked registers in the past, i didn't give a shit and a half if someone had one item or twenty. i get it if maybe a huge line is forming behind them, but even then, it's not my responsibility to open up a new line. ppl gotta wait. sorry, it's just how it is.

#ask #personal

[wooahaes]

tiger stripes is gonna make me cryyy😭

like I'm on my period rn so my emotions are heightened but like even then, i feel almost embarrassed at how hard it is to see my body in a positive light. it's always "stretchmarks are ugly" or just "fat is ugly" and it's so...dehumanizing.

i've improved a lot with my self-image, to the point where i actually get to look in the mirror and not see something ugly in it. but it's the bad days, and reading stories like this that reminds me that i don't have to change my body in order to be loved ya know? so thank u really 😭 i'm sorry if this is long but yeah i really appreciate this fic (also i'm the same anon you tagged your chubby reader fics to sjjsajanjanajsj)

sending love cos we all deserve it!!!! ❤️💜🖤💗

(sorry for how long this gets tbh i have... many thoughts)

i feel you entirely tbh. there are some days where i'm neutral with my body (since it's kinda hard to love it rn), but most days i kinda start picking myself apart after a while. i think it's probably the byproduct of both dealing with the fat-shaming in everyday society (which btw... god, i fucking hate it when people are like "i just want strangers to be healthy" when you don't know a person's health records, you don't know shit about them, and even if you do, you don't actually care: you just want them to fit into YOUR aesthetic, shut the fuck up and get back into your lane) & being raised by parents who believe that you have to be as thin as you can in order to be beautiful. it's bullshit, especially when it's their genetics that keep some weight on me. even at my thinnest, i still have chub. it's probably never going to go completely away.

i think learning to love yourself, no matter what you look like, is really hard sometimes. it's harder when you live in societies that look down upon certain features, but self love in general can be really hard.

in all honesty, i think that's why inclusivity is really important to me. i've talked with ursa sometimes and i think we've touched on the escapist part of fiction, but i have more thoughts on it. i get the idea of escaping from everyday life, but... i don't know, it never sits well with me to wish you look entirely different. maybe it's because i've grown older and come to terms with the fact that there are things about myself i can't actually change (at least not without surgery). it's little things like the mention of a reader (not an oc, or even something marked as being a thin reader) having a tiny waist and whatnot that rips me right out of my ability to escape--and it's definitely not me alone, since i know other plus size writers and i know i have readers who are plus size as well. it feels unfair that we have to seek out ficton specifically for us to escape into, and it's unfair how much of that fiction focused purely on body type.

i said it when i was writing lonely hearts club, but i don't like writing chubby!reader fics where the focus is on reader's body. that's not how my life goes. yes, my body type affects the way i think and present myself, but i hate how many stories can be boiled down to "reader is insecure because she's not hot" or "reader is insecure because fat, because all fat people are insecure." it's weird and reinforces a mindset that we should be insecure because we aren't thin. LHC!reader has insecurities, but they aren't centered entirely on her weight.

it bothers me in the rare instance i run across a chubby!reader fic that has reader lose the weight. yes, some people can lose the weight, but it always feels like it's written by someone who doesn't know how hard it can be (especially if you're poorer--there's a reason obesity coincides with poverty). it also feels like it was written by someone who thinks that like... it's okay to have a narrative driven by reader losing weight and being conventionally pretty. why should i have to fit into other people's expectations? why can't i learn to love me and feel pretty in my own skin? if i lose weight, then that should be my choice. not society's. if i'm worthy of love when i drop five, ten, twenty pounds, then i'm worthy of love during the goddamn process and before it, too.

it's unfair to expect someone to change in order to be loved. you wouldn't tell someone they need to gain weight in order to be loved, you'd support them during that process. it's not fair to expect people to change. some people can't because of actual health problems.

tw: tumor mention + medical bullshit. my mother, despite all of her bullshit, gained a lot of weight due to a brain tumor that she still has to this day. she can't change that without getting rid of the tumor, and she'll likely die with the tumor unless something changes. if she doesn't deserve love, it's because of her actions that make her a fucking awful person and mother--but it's not because of her body in the slightest.

i'm proud of you, though! improving with self image is genuinely hard and i'm still working on myself even now. i'm glad my fic could bring comfort <3 (also pls don't worry abt long asks sdkfhdsf i promise u my responses will almost always be longer lmao)

sending love right back at you!!

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

Love and Marriage: Emotion and Sexuality in the Early Medici Family, Karen Burch / Between Friends : Discourses of Power and Desire in the Machiavelli - Vettori Letters of 1513 - 1515 by John M Najemy

#the renaissance has it all! #so here's a terrible sentence: you know the whole brutus/lucilius 'don't you want to know youre loved without having to beg for it' #theme ive been going on about? #it started from uh. the. #there's a very specific kind of emotion happening in the poliziano-lorenzo-clarice situation #that is like. the same emotion going on in the machiavelli-politics-vettori dynamic #and its been HAUNTING me because no one! gets a satisfying! conclusion! no one gets what they want!! #caligula voice: men die and they aren't happy! #and its all history so there's no way to ever get a satisfying resolution to it outside of like. creative playfulness and fictionalization #sometimes there is no closure but i want SO BADLY for there to be closure here. there's a permanent ache in my chest over it #there's a wound that wont ever close and EVERY time i open up machiavelli's letters i shove my hands in it all over again #anyway the brutus/lucilius dynamic is the closest resolution i could get my hands onto. its lucilius act of devotion given freely #but even THAT doesn't fit right. its not a clean fit. its misapplied. the thing! that haunts me! is still! there! #anyway it's about the later correspondence and how machiavelli stops talking to vettorri bc he woudn't have become so.... #obsessed. i guess. with the prince and it's end goal as an object representing desire. without vettori's replies to his letters #that haunts me #BUT I FOUND RESOLUTION to this thing that's been plaguing my waking thoughts for months now! so now i can begin posting about it #(the resolution. and i am so sorry for these tags. please know im laughing at myself as i type this. the resolution to this thing that's #been occupying my thoughts like a thorn was: the harry-jean-kim dynamic in DE. listen. hear me out. i can explain this----)) #(technically the order should be jean-harry-kim but tbh it doesnt matter. what DOES matter is that i can sleep at night again #instead of staying awake re reading the same three books and wishing so badly for a different ending for something that happened 500 years #ago. u know?)

[metvmorqhoses]

Thank you for your take on the Darkling! I absolutely loved reading it. (I might read it a second time tbh). He truly is complicated and it kinda bothers me that people oversimplify him, especially the book version. Could things have been better? A 1000% Yes! But I don't see how people can read TDiW and not see his perspective on life or at least feel sorry for him. Btw are you going to read the graphic novel on TDiW when it comes out? Do you think LB is using him to simply make more money? It's hard to tell if she actually cares about him as a character.

You cannot imagine how glad I am to see so many people sharing my thoughts and frustrations regarding such a deserving and yet so poorly treated character. Every time it feels genuinely like a small victory.

One thing can surely be said, this fandom gave the Darkling the consideration and depth the original novels denied him. What he deserved as a character, he certainly found here thanks to some very stubborn few.

As for your question, I am actually still debating if buying Demon in the Wood, even while of course knowing more or less its general content.

If I have to be completely honest with you, I am quite fed up with how Bardugo uses and abuses the Darkling, a character she probably conjured by chance while taking here and there from ancient folklore and other better works, a character far larger than her own imaginings, a character that quite obviously escaped her own narrative and just stubbornly refuses to fit in every single little box she tries and fails to relegate him in, and to the point of discovering myself discouraged at the idea of reading something I'm deeply interested in because of the tragic logics of its own creator.

I absolutely find this occurrence deeply bizarre myself. It had never happened to me before, to like something so much while completely disagreeing in every single way with the person who is supposed to be in charge of it. I've always been fiercely loyal to every artist's absolute right of kingship over their own creations, but I find this particular case just hardly excusable.

As a reader, I cannot really help but feeling toyed with and cheated when it comes to this series.

The general writing is plain and mediocre aside for a few lines here and there. The plot doesn't make any thematic sense. The story doesn't follow its own logic but the absolute strange one of an author lurking behind every corner, an author that doesn’t allow her readers to actually have their own opinions about anything. The majority of the characters are "heavily inspired" by some other greater source. The rhyme and reason of the one poetically and mythologically interesting personality in there completely escapes its creator, whose only piece of understanding seems to revolve around the fact that, for some reason, this very character is the one thing that makes her books sell.

Therefore everything she writes constantly hints at and promises a big meaningful part for him in the narrative, while in truth he is just strategically always put one time in the beginning, one time in the middle and one time at the end of every single book just to serve as a page-turner and to make at the same time plain and over-sentionalistic turning points work, without ever gaining any real role, development or actual depth, while the other characters seem always frozen in their own opinion no matter the evidence they are presented with, eternally unable to change their (the author’s) static idiotic narrative about him.

That LB puts the Darkling in her books to make them sell it's by now evident common knowledge. That she uses our collective interest in him for her own gain, all the while judging us harshly for it, it’s something that truly drives me up a wall. And quite frankly I am rather uninterested in following the appalling and nonsensical literary whirling she constructs with this poor character as the main bait in order to quite literally exploit our ability to recognize artistic worth.

I actually noticed she always tries to deal with him as little as possible in every novel, probably afraid to find herself in the need to really start to characterize him.

It's really quite sad.

The Darkling is literally killed and brought back to life to sell copies. The Darkling is what makes Netflix shows happen. And now prequels about him are coming out in different forms just for a capitalistic kind of sake.

I'm not a big fan of any of this. If the writing was at least good, getting idealistically mad would make some sort of sense, but alas this is not even that much the case.

I hope I didn't sound too harsh, but I really was in absolute disbelief while reading those novels.

I’d much prefer reading again some true masterpieces written by beyond talented authors on ao3 (stories that actually feel way more real and deserving than the actual original books) and leaving LB to her own, very sad, literary choices.

#no i dont like the idea of feeding lb more money tbh #the darkling #darklina #shadow and bone #the grisha trilogy #demon in the wood #anon #asks/replies #one and one thousand stories lis told

[lavienjin]

🌷 author's secrets: a tag game

rules ; post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released this year (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

note: also let me start by saying that i'm very proud of all the fics that are in my masterlist. i know i done good :) and these fics are not listed in any particular order (except maybe cruise control. that's my baby right there). finally, all these fics i'm listing ARE 18+. also this is long. because i have a lot to say. i'm a bit of a mouthy bitch

tagged by: @taegularities @parkdatjimin @amourtae & @mintkims ♥

tagging: @bratkook @sourkoo @lavienvante @wwilloww @madseok @vyduan @reliablemitten @illneverrecover @augustbutwinter @jikookiekosmos @dntaewithluv @sunshinerainbowsbts @chemicalpink @chateautae @sugasbabiie @kookskingdom @jimilter @knjsnoona @joonscypher @agustdealer @minyfic @rosiekoo @jeonjcngkook @kimtaehyunq @yeoldontknow ++ anyone else that wants to do it.

— 5 works i'm most proud of:

cruise control - this one hands down. it's so fucking hard to write a fic based on a time period and the amount of research i did on this guy was enough for me to write 13k words of it lmao. definitely the most challenging fic for me, but also one of my favourites. can you just imagine driving down a stretch of highway, the top of the convertible car you rented open, hair flowing with the wind, and with namjoon by your side? yeah. that's the inspo

esse tuus - two words: incubus jimin. but also i played around with my writing style for this fic. it's so much more? poetic? than my usual smut pieces. also, one of my absolutely favourite lines i've ever written exists here.

et sic incipit - i have a thing for demon aus, can you tell? anyway, this one started it all for me and is the reason why i'm doing a intertwined universe with the other five remaining boys. it's also the fic where i started describing places more since this fic takes place in multiple (2) settings. also the time when i started paying attention to where the hands go when it comes to yknow. fucking.

it's you all along - i've never wrote a soulmates au before and i think i popped off ngl!!!! i probably would love to write another soulmates au one day (not starring these two necessarily). if i had to present my writing to someone, i think i'd be handing them this fic because it's just quintessential moon™

thinly veiled desires - sub!ot7 :) my first major "challenge" to fit smut in as little words as possible while having one major theme: a blindfold. it was definitely a challenge for me when it comes to wrecking my brain for ideas that involves a blindfold without repeating the same thing over and over again. you can't make me choose a favourite from this drabble list. it's SIMPLY impossible.

— 4 current WIPs that you're excited to share:

note: idk when i'm going to post these and the title + story is subject to change but i made some pretty banners and it'd be a shame for me not to use them >:C

diss tract - sope x reader | smut :)

guess who? - ot7 x reader | smut :)

summary: You're the most sought-after entertainer in the House of Lust, but that doesn't mean your management should let seven men stroll in for a session, no matter how much money they have saved up.

hybrid jin idk what the fuck to call this one tbh the curse that binds us together - ksj x reader | angst :( royalty, hybrid, fantasy au | series!

summary: If the Gods played favourites, they gave all the luck in the world to Seokjin. Not only was he blessed with an abundance of wealth and a handsome face, Seokjin was also the newly appointed Crown Prince who will someday rule the kingdom. But that all changes when the physicians find that he’s developing symptoms for a rare genetic disease that traps shifters in their beast forms forever. All of a sudden, Seokjin must travel to find the seemingly impossible cure, and leave the throne without a king. It’s a race against time; will the illness catch up to him and leave him without an ounce of humanity? And even if he does miraculously return, will the kingdom welcome him with open arms?

love ain't a business - jjk x reader

technically, she's out right now, but i am writing the rest of the series as we speak so i can start posting more regularly soooooo :D

3 improvements in writing

descriptions, descriptions, descriptions - expanding more on what the characters see, feel, touch, etc. is a big one for me. but also thanks to @kithtaehyung, i know have a love for thirds when it comes to repetition in fics :) it's great! (also check out her works or else)

author voice - she's often elusive, but i think i have a pretty solid author voice ++ writing style now that i've written so much!

planning - i think this is a massive one. ever since i started cruise control, i really tried to piece together how the story unfolds. i don't always write down every. single. thing i plan out, but i do have a clearer outline in my fics (i feel like you can also see, err, read the difference between my recent fics vs the ones i posted in the very beginning when i first started this blog pen pals with benefits for example 😔)

2 resolutions

say 'no' more often - i gotta learn to manage my workload yall. now that i do streaming, learning korean, work full-time, writing has to take a back burner. i'm by no means sacrificing my writing, but if i keep on saying 'yes' to collabs without planning my year out, i won't be able to write anything.

keep writing - even if it's 5 words or 1,000; i gotta keep going. kinda ties in to self-confidence? i need to be better at going 'holy shit yeah, moon, you can write' because i think you can tell when i feel the fantasy of a fic or if i don't

1 favourite line

okay first of all, how dare you, because i wrote an entire masterlist's worth of fics. that's 38 individual works (not counting the msk drabbles + all the work i put into the summer games with @btscreatorscorner), which totals to 204,596 words (according to ao3) in ~9 months. to make me choose just ONE line is criminal >:C

but...

No, because should the sun ever die and total darkness swallows the earth, you’ll still be able to recognize that face in the sea of shadows.

-- love ain't a business (1)

aaaaaand. that's it. thanks so much for reading through this, what the fuck. seriously, this was such a fun introspective journey down memory lane. i'm not 10000% satisfied with where my writing is at currently (aren't most authors?) but i'm sure that will only be better as i continue to develop my craft. i would love to read through this again next year to see if something's have changed! without further ado, have a great start to 2022 🥂

#tag game #sattie.texts #over the moon

[beneaththemasks]

hey I promised this a long time ago but my depressed ass didn't let me write so

Analyzing Atsushi and Akutagawa pt.2

cw: dazai hate and beast spoilers

previous part here

first of all I want to clarify that this has been sitting in my drafts for nearly a whole year so yeah it's very likely that I might forget some important details but I'll try to get to my initial point anyways.

a few month ago when I decided to reread beast for a second time (after realising I hadn't paid much attention to it the first time) I came up with all these ideas of how and why Dazai decided to pair Akutagawa and Atsushi together.

again, this analysis is going to be a very real-life-based interpretation on the characters and the whole plot probably. so don't really pay much attention if I mix stuff from the light novels with stuff from the main plot bc the point is basically analyse why their relationship was built.

parting from the final scenes of the beast novel that end with Dazai telling Atsushi and Akutagawa that he needed to make them fight each other in order to protect the world he had created for Oda inside the book, I tried to tie a few ends that were hanging lose for a while in my head.

now, you can read this however you like (be it me being just stupid or whatever) but, ever since we got to see part of how Dazai treated Akutagawa back in the Port Mafia I kept finding myself going through the same problem over and over again to try and understand why the hell was he so fucking obsessed with making him physically stronger rather than, you know, actually focusing on training him as a whole good and worthy subordinate.

why did dazai, being as smart and manipulative as he is, made such a rudimentary mistake of only teaching akutagawa how to strengthen his ability if he knew the boy was a killing machine?

I think you can understand then why the part where Dazai makes them fight each other in beast was even MORE confusing to me...

but that's not all there is to it.

Dazai not only failed (?) to train Akutagawa but he did succeed in training Atsushi??

well, as much as we love to see a character growing and as much as you'd like to attribute it to him leaving the mafia, I don't really think that was the reason. after all, as I already said, Dazai is very smart and has always been, he probably already had it all planned back in the port mafia.

and here's where my galaxy brain starts to think.

right from the start, the whole Dazai's subordinates deal felt very strange and inconsistent to me. I never understood why would he loose so much for Akutagawa and obsess so much with pointing out the fact that Atsushi was better than him when he was no longer part of the PM therefore he supposedly shouldn't mind about wether Akutagawa was good bad or whatever.

it started getting very dense to me tbh but that's not important

enter beast, a world where Dazai can literally do almost anything he wants, and what does he do? the boy goes and straight up fucks up akutagawa and atsushi for the second time makes akutagawa and atsushi hate each other and hold the weight of the world in their hands. again.

ok this was getting VERY annoying, plus their fight was so so so painful to read that it literally made me wonder what was the point in forcing them to face their trauma in such a cruel way at a moment like that.

thankfully there was a reason... but it never clarified precisely WHY FIGHT EACH OTHER.

if Dazai never taught Akutagawa how to be a better and sharper person because he didn't really know how, that was not a problem in beast. because Oda was there to do it. Oda could have taught Akutagawa what Dazai lacked as a mentor.

then, if Dazai wanted Atsushi to protect the book, he could've literally ask him without any need to involve Akutagawa.

but then, the whole point of why Dazai took Akutagawa in the first time "in the original world" and the reason behind why he also took Atsushi would've been lost.

Dazai is, indeed, a mastermind.

he knows what's necessary to make a world where people like Oda can live and write. he knows, probably better than anyone, that god doesn't care about things like balance and harmony. that he'd have to create it himself.

after all, coherency is one of the rules of the book.

Akutagawa and Atsushi fail their mission against Fukuchi (probably at Aku's life cost) in the main plot because that happened in the same world where Oda and Gide die after fighting for the same goal. a world where only those who fight and have the talent will prevail.

Dazai knows very well that, in that world, balance and harmony will never exist.

that's why Dazai creates a new world instead, where Atsushi and Akutagawa never team up and try to kill each other instead. a world where they force each other to recognize their flaws and admit their mistakes, a world where they'll have to learn how to live on with it no matter what they want to protect the world.

protect the world by proving that both sides of the same coin can fit, that none is better than the other.

so yeah, basically, the events that take place in "the original world" are proof to Dazai that god doesn't care about good or evil, that the only ones that will prevail are those who fight for their right to live (and this also probably explains why Atsushi and Akutagawa will never win as long as they fight without acknowledging what they have in front of them).

therefore, he decides to create a world where Oda won't have to fight to live because Atsushi and Akutagawa will fight but won't have to kill each other to prove their existence. they'll simply accept that both sides of the coin can exist even if they're weak, afraid or bad and that will be enough to give birth to a new world order.

there's actually more than this. in fact, there are a lot of reasons why Akutagawa and Atsushi are important for each other despite Dazai's plans and the world's destiny. however, since it'd be too confusing to try explaining it all in the same post sooo I'll be leaving that for a 3rd part.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd beast #bsd dazai #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #sskk #can't believe it took me so long to write this #and I still couldn't say what I wanted bc it's too long #analysis time

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Their best sexual characteristic | Haikyuu!! Headcanons 』

Part 4/?

Characters: female!reader, Kageyama Tobio, Nishinoya Yuu, Tendou Satori

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, headcanons, imagines

Attention: All characters in this series are aged up to be at least 18+

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: I've noticed that the more I do these, the longer they get, and now I feel bad that some of the others might have been neglected T^T

Oh, and I got a new phone, and now the emojis don't look the same... Please tell me if any of them look weird or don't fit the ~vibe~. Previous parts are linked at the bottom ♡ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy! Imo~

Kageyama Tobio

» How vocal he is

Kageyama can't help it, but he moans, groans, and growls with every second of pleasure those deep thrusts have him singinggg 👅

It's such a desperate, stimulating sound that falls from his lips

It turns you on no end hnng

Gets your pussy dripping, which drives him insane

It didn't used to be like that, though

At first he used to stifle his sounds because he was embarrassed

He had heard somewhere stupid that it was 'unmanly' to moan during sex, and became self conscious about it my poor, sweet baby 😭

Like, who even thought if that?! Shame on you!! >:(

But it didn't take long for you to realise something was wrong he had to be so focused just to hold it in, so it was kind of obvious something was up

So one time, when he was buried inside you, clearly struggling to stifle the sounds in his throat, you pulled his head down to your lips and whispered in his ear how much you wanted to hear him moan for you

He was a little taken aback at first, wondering if it was really okay he looked so innocent right then

But you stroked his hair and reassured him that you wanted every part of him, and he didn't have to hold back or hide anything from you like, please. Guys' moans are so hot 💦

As he eased into it, getting used to allowing the sounds to flow, his thrusts got deeper and faster, the blush on his cheeks reddening with every inch further inside you so freaking adorable

He was pressed down on top of you with his hips flush with yours, his desperate sounds filling your ears, pushing you closer to the edge

It was mind-numbing how erotic it was to finally hear just how much he wanted you – how good it felt inside you

And when he came with a whimpering moan of relief, you toppled over the edge, spasming around him please, omg

You had a soft heart-to-heart about it after, curled up in bed together, making sure he felt comfortable with things and LOVED, DAMN IT

Lots of hand holding, hair stroking, and forehead and shoulder kisses by both of you 💋

Now he never hides it from you as it should be

It's brought you much closer as lovers, deepening the connection between you. You're both much happier now it's too cute, I fucking can't

Though the neighbours aren't so appreciative 🤭

I literally love Kageyama. Please cherish him with your entire soul

Nishinoya Yuu

» His spontaneity

There's no such thing a dull sex routine with this hyperactive firecracker 💥

Or any kind of routine, for that matter lmao

Anything romantic or sexual always happens spur of the moment, keeping it fresh and interesting and damn hot *fans self*

Now, Noya isn't massive in the dick department, no third leg, I'm afraid, ladies

But he's actually really decently sized, and as it turns out, the perfect size and shape for quickies which you most definitely do a lot of

Noya definitely isn't afraid of sex in public places kinda turns him on, tbh

Places you've boned, given him a blowjob, dry humped, or he's fingered you include: the park (behind some trees), in the car, in the stall of a restaurant toilet, and at the beach never again, omg, the FREAKING SAND

All this spontaneity, however, means that you're sometimes caught without a condom which will either turn you on more or make you think again depending on the circumstances

Noya is all too happy to go in raw if you're cool with it, but he does try to remember to keep a fresh rubber in his pants or wallet

He buys the extra thin-feel condoms because the sensation inside you drives him literally feral

They sometimes fall out when he's getting something out of his pocket, and it's always at the absolute worst times

Like that time he got his phone out to show your parents a some cute vacay pics, and then BAM, there it was, on the floor between you all hahahaaa, omg. You wanted to die

But it's not just about getting it on in dangerous or compromising places, though

He's just as spontaneous at home, like on the couch while watching Netflix, on the counter top while you're in the middle of cooking don't worry, you turned the stove off first, in the middle of the night when neither of you can sleep, or when you're collapsed in a giggling heap together after a short and decisive pillow fight I'll let you decide who won

It's not about specifically when or where for Noya, but about when if feels right. When that connection is there mah heart

He also tries his absolute best to talk with you about what you do and don't like, what you'd be willing to try, etc. in your free time or in make out sessions, because he's aware his spontaneity can make it hard to talk about those things and that's not his intention at all

But one thing is for sure: it's never, ever boring with Noya

He'd be like this even if y'all got married 💍

Like, you don't have to worry about a dull, routinely or (God forbid) sexless marriage. That's not his style at ALL

Tendou Satori

» His goofiness

This lanky bean can't get enough of your laugh, your smile, your giggles just you in general

He thinks it's when you're at your prettiest

So it follows that he does everything he can to see it, especially when he's trying to make the both of you cum

Smile like that when he's inside you and he'll probably shoot his loud prematurely, lmao

His naturally wacky personality really lends to it, sending you into laughing fits on a regular basis you literally get stitches in your sides

He does all sorts of things on a regular basis in order to see that beautiful smile of yours, like blowing raspberries on your neck and stomach,

~doing stupid impressions,

~having pillow fights,

~giving you piggybacks around the shopping mall at top speed like a madman,

~tickling you in that spot that only he knows about that always makes you giggle and squirm

so freaking adorable!!

He tones down the silliness a little when you're having sex because he knows it's important and not a joke, but sometimes he just can't help himself it's his natural state, after all

And honestly, it's a blessing to have a boyfriend who can make you laugh out of bed AND in it

Awkward moments, like queefs, accidentally breaking bed slats, or getting leg cramps, are always immediately dissipated by his easy going, fun loving attitude a Godsend, honestly

But he normally knows when not to turn things into a joke, making for a pretty healthy, balanced attitude

It makes for such a warm, comforting atmosphere where you feel completely at ease and at home

You feel like you can tell him anything – and you do

Sex is literally so fun with him, but it doesn't detract for the moment at all it's still hawt

He's all down to try new positions and keep it fresh, especially if the position looks fun wheelbarrow, anyone? Lmfao

Spooning!! It's so fun a squishy, and he's a but of a clingy boy

He loves nuzzling the nape of your neck, and sometimes it turns into ✨spooning sex✨

His cock's really long with a nice curve to it, so he can get a great angle like that, ayyee

It sometimes seems like sex is almost too fun for Tendou it's pretty much his favourite past time

But not in a creepy way. This goofy baby is absolutely adorable

please love this man

♡°☆°♡°☆°♡

Part 1: Oikawa, Daichi, Kuroo

Part 2: Ushijima, Suga, Bokuto

Part 3: Iwaizumi, Akaashi, Asahi

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

#imo chan imagines #haikyuu!! #hq! #smut #headcanons #imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu smut #kageyama tobio #nishinoya yuu #tendou satori #haikyuu!! x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #nishinoya yuu x reader #tendou satori x reader

[fingertipsmp3]

Just spent money I don’t have on clothes that probably won’t fit me, how’s your Monday going

#i need work clothes unfortunately because i'm about to graduate so i need to go exist in the real world and i need to look like a person #but is it just me or are size guides getting vaguer??? i swear to god #unless it's a shoe i have absolutely no clue how this shit is going to fit me #these trousers are either going to be enormous or they will not fit on my body #the dresses will probably be fine #the tights?? who knows???? idk if they will even exist tbh #also i love that a supposedly inclusive website still only has 6 sizes for tights #like i love you and everything you're trying to do but the mainstream retailers still have like 4 sizes #are you ACTUALLY contributing anything? guess i'll find out #tbh wearing tights is always a hilarious experience for me because i'm 6'1 and have wide hips #so according to clothing companies i am fake news #which is fair enough like according to that one website i'm taller than 99.8% of women. so i don't expect all mainstream clothes to fit me #but only making tights for people who are like a size 12 and 5'4 is a crackhead kind of move. there i said it #the only thing i'm not worried about in this order is the camis because all they have to do is go on my body #i'll be wearing a shirt over them anyway so it doesn't matter if they're tight or loose or anything #so that's what my life is right now if anyone was curious #personal