#that i will one day articulate

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us. #so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wei Wuxian eats a watermelon. Yep!

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #nothing out of the ordinary here. Just good fandom fun #Watermelon discourse has been going on and I want to let people know where I stand. #This came about because I wanted to experiment with translating the (traditional) PD-MDZS style to a digital format #and while sitting there thinking of what to draw...my inspiration came to me. #This is the equivalent of sneaking vegetables into the spaghetti sauce but its important to get your gotdamn veggies #I'm not very good at organizing my thoughts (evidence: the tags of every post on this blog). #but please do not look away from this moment in history. One person cannot solve it and no one expects you to. #Even if it is just spending time doing some research on the situation and history. Or boosting posts that are more articulate #Any action helps! ANY action! Everyone has a different level of capacity for this and that's okay. Anything is fine. Dont let it be nothing #Anyhow. did I like doing this digitally? Yes but its mixed. It was faster but also spark the same joy I usually get while drawing #I will have to get over it very quickly though. You will all see why in a few days

[ranchthoughts]

Queer media is about the disappointment and devastation of the word "friend"

#thoughts circling... maybe I will have articulate things to say one day #itsay #itsay images #msp #msp images #kieta hatsukoi #kieta hatsukoi images #bb #bb images #ranch collections #i told sunset about you #my school president #bad buddy

[jade-of-mourning]

sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

#lychee's brain trash #mako lok #mako tlok #sorry for the shitpost i don't do a lot of those i realize #how tf did this guy not had a massive break down in canon at any point #nd like;; he never shows resentment for the unfairness of it all #he doesn't ever use his past to excuse any of his choices/actions that are influenced by it #which is pretty intrinsically linked to his relationship fumbles #he just quietly holds himself accountable and probably mildly despises himself haha #as much as i don't care for the love triangle it really does make complete sense in accordance to his backstory #anyway this is just a roundabout way of me expressing my salt at people writing him off as a malicious asshole lol #i literally cannot articulate the intense complex things his conjured up existence makes me feel #this does not even scratch the surface there is SO MUCH #i need to actually write the fifty fics that exist to my brain otherwise all these thoughts will never see the sun #trust that one day the avatar!mako au will emerge from my drafts;;; #and. you know. that one shot i've had in wip for the past 2.5 years #and the four other oneshots that will probably never be converted into actual words

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

It is funny to me how Harry Potter is literally the main character, yet people tend to go like he didn't suffer that much or he wasn't "abused"; Like, how can one misunderstand the literal main character of the damn franchise?

He wasn't abused; yes okay. He absolutely did not grow up inside a cupboard; the tiny place that is mostly reserved for brooms or cleaning supply. He absolutely was not treated inferior to the other child who lived in the same house. He was totally was not treated like a "freak" or a "stain" that his family was ashamed off. He grew up inside a cupboard while there was a literal unused bed in the same house. And you want to know what that screamed to a child, a baby — who slept inside a cupboard while there being a perfectly usable room right there? You are worth nothing and we don't love you and we are ashamed of what you are.

He wasn't starved, or at least he was fed; Yeah, no. We see it from the first book. How Vernon was no food for you and in the cupboard you go — and by the looks of it, that was like his most common punishment. And then, in the second book — you practically see it happen. He was locked, inside a room with only a can of soup that he shared with Hedwig. Now, tell me what it would do to a child — to be given food through a cat flap, and fun fact? Harry got to eat less than people on war rations; in short? He was starved, yes.

He wasn't abused physically so it's not abuse; As for people's thinks abuse isn't abuse until it's physical (which is inherently wrong because abuse isn't only physically, fyi); Harry has learned to dodge Vernon and he states that, very proudly when his uncle tries to grab him. He dodges a flying pan and states that fact, again very proudly as if it is the norm; do you know how heavy pans are? And do you know what would happen when one hits you? If you want an even clearer proof; Vernon Dursley strangles Harry in Ootp. There you go. Also, in the first book, we clearly see Vernon encouraging Dudley to hit Harry. Read between the lines and actually try to understand what that signifies.

And favourite part; When he wasn't treated like a prisoner, or a freak— he was their servant. And that is very much canonical. Tending Petunia's garden during summers and drinking from the water hose in the garden because of how hot it was? Having to wake up early so he can tend the kitchen and when he wasn't doing all that he is locked away. And it is all canon.

In conclusion, Harry— not only grew up to think that he was inhumane, undeserving of love, a freak that didn't even get to have his own bed because someone like him didn't deserve it, physically harmed enough times that he dodges them out of reflex and also the Dursleys' glorified servant; that is not even taking into account what Harry went through in Hogwarts. And after all that if someone tells me; this child, right here — didn't go through much then well, maybe read the books again?

#harry potter #this is a mess #but I'm just angry and sadly #this is just a #rant post #some people really need to read the books #harry potter deserves better #than these readers i swear #harry james potter #hjp #he doesn't deserve this slander #like seriously???? #this is just me typing everything i remember; it's not really something i planned posting #but #i saw something and got pissed #sorry for the #rant #maybe one day ill write something more articulated #dursleys #can fuck off thanks #hp #golden trio era #harry potter meta #hp fandom

[toriavissu]

saikechi x donut hole idea has been living in my mind for so long so here it is

#i love associating characters with songs so much that's so exciting #saikechi #i would like to explain my whole idea but uhh #i can't articulate #wanna make a full animatic one day #saiki kusuo #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki fanart #art #akechi touma

[charcubed]

oh everyone and their DISCLAIMERS about how “lokius will never be canon because disney and marvel are awful, but”........ well I have nothing to lose so. fuck disclaimers! this is my idea of fun! what if it CAN and WILL be canon, huh? what if the story is gonna go where it seems to be headed. what if I say they’re going to kiss on international streaming television. who’s gonna stop me

#I was in the tag on here again so. midnight shitpost time #lokius #but for real the disclaimers are like.... idk #are there Assigned Queerbaiting cops???? or are we policing each other #before anyone takes this too seriously yes I get it’s about ‘hopes’ and keeping fervor down and whatever #but the pendulum swing is just. tiring #to the extent that it has swung #sorry this is not articulate unlike my tweets on this topic semi recently #I will not let the corporations steal my joy preemptively or disappoint me preemptively. if they’re going to I’ll cross that bridge later #otherwise I find it far more exciting and entertaining to presume we live in a world where we get nice things #let me reach for the stars. because by God one day we WILL hit them #also per usual: abolish the nonsense word queerbaiting. Thank you and goodnight #PS I am not actually mad at fans protecting themselves and their emotions. I get the baseline reason. I am annoyed by The Situation #and with the use of the word ‘queerbaiting’ it all rooted in a fundamentally stupid or incorrect or shifting premise #chars loki posts

[p4nishers]

thinking abt how azi was truly crowley's sunlight through the millenniums. like, here's this demon who didn't mean to fall, who just asked questions and deep down he was still so good. and he is alone, he's the literally the emboidement of the first sin, and NOT by his own choosing. he's so alone and afraid and just wants a real conversation w someone, even if its an angel who'll most likely hate him. and here's the guardian of eden, who gave away his sword, that GOD gave to him, without asking a single question, to help the humans under his charge and he's kind to crowley and crowley is utterly fascinated. zira is basically the first protector, not only to adam and eve BUT CROWLEY TOO. he protects crowley from the first rain bc he's so fundamentally good and kind and crowley can't help seeking him out over the years. when they meet in rome, c is obviously far more withdrawn and angry bc of the things he's seen and was forced to do and there's az again, so happy to see him and even inviting him to dinner. everytime they met, even when crowley was saving azira, he also saved crowley by the simple act of being his friend.

#sunlight by hozier is literally this but with fancy words #no like UGH i don't know how to articulate this properly cause it's so much more than azi being kind to crowley. its being the only person #to see him. to truly know him and see thru the walls he built up and yes crowley may have been the one to seek him out and save him but #aziraphale LET him do it and never treated him with anything other than an equal and azi gave him a chance when nobody else did and UGHH #it most have meant so much to crowley after hell's cruelty #like i really do believe the simple fact that azi was unbashedly himself around him meant far more to crowley than empty kindness #EACH DAY YOU'D RISE W ME KNOW THAT I'D GLADLY BE THE ICARUS TO UR CERTAINTY OH MY SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT #STRAP A WING TO ME DEAD TRAP CLAD HAPPILY WITH WAX MELTED I'D MEET THE SEA UNDER SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT #ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #crowley #hozier

[bambeptin]

rex and wk bodyswap posture changes

#im still vacationing around!! #that fic. one day i'll update it #generator rex #bamboo draws #rex salazar #white knight #white knight generator rex #ive got Thoughts about this rattling about in my brain idk if i could articulate them properly or if anyone's chomping at the bit for em

[daily-hanamura]

#persona 4 #p4 #persona 4 golden #p4g #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #tatsumi kanji #kanji tatsumi #YOSUKE KANJI FRIENDSHIP IS THE BESTTTTT (and also very canon i can pull out receipts any day man) #kanji may not be as attuned to yosuke as yu tends to be (who else can communicate with just glances at each other) BUT #he gets it!!! #kanji also has a hard time being articulate! he says things he doesnt mean and he comes off rude and abrasive but he doesnt. mean. them. #he calls his mum an old hag but GOD does he fucking love his mother. #kanji and yosuke are both at their core very sensitive individuals but they both maintain this facade of “masculinity” to hide it #and it makes this particular moment all the more precious bcause they're talking without pretention but freely with their hearts #and its this wonderful beautiful moment that they get to share #and you know what makes it better? its that it's just one of MANY #he's good with his queue

[persephoneflouwers]

Listen I don’t know how to articulate this in an eloquent way but remember that part in sunflower vol. 6 “I dont want to make you feel bad, but I've been trying hard not to talk to you”? It’s like he’s saying I’m trying to protect your solitude but it’s hard, first of all because it’s not something you just know. You have to learn how to create a space where two people in a relationship still feel like they’re their own person, if that makes any sense.

Secondly, because it is a contradiction, if you think about it. Being a couple, being in a couple automatically deletes your solitude state, unless you seek for it, unless you ask for it.

Third, it creates uncertainty when you’re young and in love and you have all these feelings inside your chest they might as well just explode out of your lungs, you want them, you want to be with them (let me inside, wish I could get to know you) and it doesn’t matter how many years have passed since you first got together. There will always be this perpetual urge of belonging to someone that pushes you to just be around each other all the time, to know what’s happening, to worry about them and to take care of them. It makes you paranoid and insecure to know they asked you to wait for when they’re ready to not be alone anymore. It takes a lot of patience and growth and trust to just let them be and live on their own, you know? It’s probably the most selfless act of them all, even when that’s not what you would want (my eyes want you more than a melody, I couldn’t want you any more/I don’t want to be alone in golden).

And I could go on and on and on about how well this concept fits his entire discography.

I could mention Satellite’s «You got a new life, Am I bothering you? Do you wanna talk? Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in. I can see you're lonely down there. Don't you know that I am right here?».

Or Daylight’s «you got me cursing the daylight»

Or Canyon Moon’s «I’ll be gone too long from you»

Do I have to mention Adore you? ALL OF IT? Alright, I will: «You don't have to say you love me. You don't have to say nothing You don't have to say you're mine, honey. I'd walk through fire for you, Just let me adore you»

In conclusion, loving him is the antidote, solitude included.

[Such a huge development from Sweet creature’s «I always think about you and how we don't speak enough» by the way]

#and i could go on and on and on #but i cut it here because my phone is dying #does it makes sense idk #it does in my head #hard to articulate my thoughts when im so passionate about lyrics haha #i get very excited sorry! #one day i will even talk about antidotes in Harry’s discography #but that’s not a discourse for a sunday afternoon in 45C heat #lyrics parallels #protect each other solitude #im very sad part of these lyrics are related to Hid Karp00n 😭

[throughtrialbyfire]

modding serana is fine btw. like its literally fine. marry the fictional vampire or dont, its your game

#bishop.txt #this is all i'm gonna say on how ppl treat serana. anyways back to regular posts! #serana volkihar #skyrim #tesblr #yknow . i do have more thoughts on this #but i dont have the ability to articulate them rn. i have been busy for days so im very worn out #maybe one day. but for now and the foreseeable future this is all im saying unless that changes AHAH

[unopenablebox]

i admit that i find it a little bit frustrating how Wildly Astonished other antizionist jews act when i tell them my israeli jewish family have lived in the region since [some unknown length of time before 1800 when there start being records about it]

#and then they're like ''ohhh they're mizrahi!'' [connotation nonwhite‚ virtuously indigenous] #and i have to be like. no. it's just that‚ as palestine was in fact ottoman-administered greater syria for most of the last 600 years‚ #you could get there from other parts of the ottoman empire. such as the part of now-ukraine your ashkenazi family is also from. #it wasn't actually a hermetically sealed arab-only ethnostate that evaporated immigrants on sight. it was a pretty decent place to live as #a jew by at least some accounts. or better than the front of the hapsburg-ottoman war anyway which is where they were coming from. #i'm not sure who you think it's serving exactly to believe that there were literally no ashkenazim in the middle east before the 1st aliyah #however there were some. and this information does not actually threaten a modern anti-state of israel position like at all. #but since apparently you've constructed your new Diaspora-Centric Identity around the idea that 'palestine' and 'diaspora' #are the two mutually exclusive nonoverlapping regions and the former is ontologically a no-european-jews-allowed zone #i guess i can give you a minute to try to figure it out. #ugh sorry this is nothing it isn't anything. for one thing it's fantastically unimportant #and for another thing i don't know how to like talk about it in a way that doesn't make me sound at least kind of like im trying to justify #myself as being somehow less complicit or something. i mean i think my complicity as an american dwarfs the rest of it honestly but. #i just feel really insanely alienated where the rhetoric of my theoretically most closely politically aligned group is not really built to #like. accommodate the facts of my family history. #sorry. i have honestly no idea why im so obsessed with articulating this concept ive just been chewing on it pointlessly for days #box opener

[pits-stops]

Supercut (2017) by Lorde - Part 3 / ?

Part 1

Part 2

#okay this needs to be the last one for a few days bc i really need to stop procrastinating hw #its almost midterms for me i need to be studying physics not brocedes #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #brocedes #f1 #mercedes #the silver war #lorde #supercut #webweave #searching for pictures for this is lowkey a study in brocedes podiums #how some of them are so full of love while others are so cold.... #poetry somewhere in there that I can't quite articulate

[haloraen]

Ranpo 100% developed a teeny tiny crush on Poe when he realized that Poe actually gave him some competition, regardless of him actually figuring it out first. And when Poe came back to challenge Ranpo 6 years later?? That interest grew exponentially and that was the moment he realized ‘oh shit I like him’. But also like. Probably not. Because Ranpo is smart but oh my god is he stupid (affectionate)

#hal's ramblings #bungou stray dogs #bsd #edogawa ranpo #bsd ranpo #edgar allan poe #bsd poe #ranpoe #ranpo x poe #i don't even know where i was going with this #but please hang in there #i was articulating my thoughts somewhere #one day #one day i'll figure out what i was trying to say (tis nothing but a lie bc i prolly won't lmao)