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kamisatomay018 · 4 months

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A string that can no longer connect..

Xiao x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, hurt with no comfort, character death

A lot of you wanted me to start writing angst, so here it is! I hate hurting Xiao even more-

Perhaps you should have heeded to their warnings. Perhaps, had you just stayed in Liyue harbour, your unending misery could have been avoided. Perhaps, had you not been so foolishly in love with someone so out of your reach, your heart wouldn’t be bleeding right now. Perhaps….had fate not been so cruel to you, your tears would have dried up by now.

You felt like a body without a soul, like a mind without a purpose, your once beating heart had become a hollow pit through which harsh echoes of that one voice kept ringing unstoppably. It felt as if your heavy heart would soon make you sink to the ground, let the earth swallow you whole until not even one fragment remained. In the endless sea of colours, you were the black paint now, unhappy and dull, standing out the most although all you wished to do was hide and wallow in your misery.

You never knew it was possible to feel pain of this magnitude. Never once did you think that the heavens above would snatch your happiness away like this. You felt deceived, betrayed and beyond hurt. The Red String Of Fate, just thinking about it made you scoff. What a joke, there was no such thing as love in your life. Every step you took farther away from Wangshu Inn intensified the burning sensation in your ring finger, where the red string appeared. It kept on stretching away and away, the burning feeling like the string screaming at you to stop walking away, to just run back and embrace the one to whom you were tied. But you knew you could not do that.

You did not have the strength nor the courage to go back to the man who had caused your pain. You couldn’t face him again after you gifted him his heart, only for him to return it to you completely shattered and bleeding. Archons, it hurts so much, please make it stop..

You didn’t know where your feet were leading you, but after what felt like hours you fell to the ground, screaming in agony as that one voice refused to leave your mind, his harsh words echoing again and again that made your head spin. Your tears stained the ground, your soul slowly ripping itself apart piece by piece as you remembered what had transpired just moments ago.

Dangerous golden eyes pierced into yours, looking at you with a gaze so cold that you felt your heart freezing right there. “Soulmates? Tsk, we adepti have no need nor the time for such ridiculous things. Leave mortal, and never come back.” You felt tears well up in your eyes, not being able to believe this. You thought that he would feel happy, at least accept you but no, he simply rejected you, as if you were a nuisance for him. “But xiao..look, we are bound together by fate..how can i just be without you?”

He let out a cruel scoff, folding his arms and looking away. “That is a matter that does not concern me, but only you. I don’t want this fated bond, I reject it.” And that’s it, the tears dropped down one after the other, the ache in your heart haunting your being. “Then..why did you protect me so many times..why did you appear before me..”

“I am an adeptus, and it is my sworn duty to protect Liyue and its people. I am bound by a contract upon Rex Lapis’ orders. Do not think that this fact, by any means, makes you special. Mortals do not belong with adepti, nor do adepti need any companionship. Do not disturb me any further, Leave.”

Each word he spoke caused your soul to crack little by little, your heart completely broken while every fibre of your being ached. It was cruel, so cruel for him to do this to you. Yet you mustered the courage to look him in the eye, letting him break you once more. “So…you do not feel anything for me?”

“No, I don’t. Return to Liyue harbour and never come back here.” And just like that, he disappeared from your sight, leaving you alone and broken.

How easy it was for him, a mighty adeptus to scoff at a mere mortal like you, abandoning you as if it was nothing new for him. But who would tell him that he was your whole world? He was your hope, your soulmate, your love. How were you supposed to just be okay like this? How were you supposed to recover when you had lost yourself bit by bit with every step you took away from him until there was nothing left for you to lose? What a fool you were, thinking that the Conquerer of Demons would return your feelings.

Unbeknownst to you, Xiao had watched you leave from the rooftop of Wangshu inn, and every fibre of his being begged him to make you stop, to beg for your forgiveness and let you stay by his side. Yet he fought all those urges, simply watching your figure grow smaller and smaller, until you completely disappeared from his sight. Only he knew how much pain he was in right now, how the words he had so cruelly spat to you were now stabbing at his conscience, ready to kill him. But no matter how much he wanted, no needed you by his side, he could not be selfish.

You were the epitome of pureness and warmth in his eyes, while he was the ancient being with blood of countless gods and monsters on his hands, his soul tainted by karma. If you stayed with him, you would get tainted too, you would be in unimaginable pain too. Your mortal body wasn’t made to handle this amount of torture. Besides, he was so close to losing himself to his karma, his fear was that he would turn into the monsters he had sworn to purge. He could end up hurting, or even killing you in his madness. He had watched his beloved brothers and sisters go mad because of the karmic debt they carried, even turning against each other. Then how, pray tell, was he supposed to make you stay when he was aware of the danger he posed to your very existence?

That is why he let you go, speaking those harsh untruths so that hopefully you’d forget him one day and live a better life. He did not deserve love and kindness, he was a beast, a cruel and heartless monster whose only duty was to purge all evil until one day, his karmic debt would inevitably take his life. How was he supposed to condemn you to a fate so cruel? Taking a deep breath, he wiped off the lone tear that fell from his eye, reminding himself that all he had done was for your sake, to protect you.

But he would soon realise that he had done quite the opposite..

Only a day had passed by when he was passing through Dihua Marsh after slaughtering monsters. He then picked up the strong stench of blood- human blood. Frowning, he rushed towards the sight, only for his golden eyes to widen in horror, his mighty spear falling on the ground while he stood there, motionless. There lay your body, severely wounded and bleeding uncontrollably, painting the pure glaze lilies around you, instantly causing them to wither away. How..how was this possible..

He approached your unconscious form, cupping your cheek softly, which to his pure agony had gone ice cold. You were no longer breathing, and he knew that he had lost you forever. Tears welled up in his eyes as he kneeled on the ground, picking up your lifeless form close to his chest. A shriek of pure agony and devastation left him, his entire being churning in excruciating pain. It was all his fault, he was the reason why you were now dead. Not only had he broken your heart, but he had also managed to steal your chance of living a perfect life.

He begged, ached for you to come back, but it was of no use. He had lost you for good, only being left with enormous amounts of guilt and grief that would torture his soul eternally. He looked down at your limp hand, noticing the red string that bound you to one another. Only, it began fading away, and xiao cried in pain as it disappeared all together, signalling that he had lost his soulmate. Oh how cruel fate was to him, stealing away every single person that gave him happiness. First his family, and now his love.

His soul that once wished to be free of all binds, now begged fate to grant it one more chance to be bound to yours by that very red string, but what followed its plea was a deathly, deafening silence..for a string that gets snapped once, can no longer connect again.

#genshin impact #genshin fanart #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin angst #angst #light angst #xiao #adeptus xiao #genshin xiao #yaksha #red string of fate #red string au

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struckd0wn · 3 months

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HIHI UHMMM would you be willing to do an nsfw havik mk1 // ftm reader fic ?? :33 YOU CAN DO WHATEVER WITH IT REALLY UHM..

preferably bottom reader // him being possessive would be kewl THANK YOUU

All Mine ── Dairou "Havik"

➭ Havik × ftm reader

CW: cunt and pussy used, some bleeding, possessiveness

A/N: I'm doing post melted face Havik lol. Idk, I just think it's kinds hot... 🙈. Tried to fill in the backstory as to why he was being so possessive and might not be exactly lore accurate but I tried my best lol. Technically an AU???? Idk really (havik trying to turn Orderrealm into chaosrealm ig). Hope you like ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

Havik has tooken you back to his home in Seido, where he leads a rebellion against the overbearing government of Orderrealm. His regime has taken over a township of Seido where they plan their crusade. The town has no rules, no laws, just totally freedom which they don't get from their home originally. Havik, although an anarchist leads them (until a revolution), so he doesn't suspect their behavior when he brings you around.

It's your first time being showed around the place, Dairou allows you to explore freely, following close behind you. You're surprised to see the condition most of the townsfolk are in. Beaten up and scarred, bloodied and bruised. Your lover had already explained to you how there is really no law here, he just leads them to eventually overtake Seido. So everyone is pretty battered from fights and other things, sorta like a way to relieve stress after being under such strict rule.

But just as you gawk at them they gawk at you. You're pristine, not one bruise on you. Well.. Maybe a couple from Dairou but nothing too serious. You look different too, I mean you're still human clearly, but it doesn't take them long to figure out you're from earthrealm. The way you dress and talk really says it all.

Havik watches angry as his followers flawk around you curiously, checking out the shiny new toy from earth, and you are painfully unaware. He fights the urge to kill the man that gently places his hand on your lower back. "What's someone like you doing here," The man asking, flashing a grin that's missing a few teeth. "Looks like you need to be roughed up." He's teasing you, Dairou almost steps in but doesn't when you politely refuse, telling him you're actually here with your lover. The man turns to see Havik following close behind, glaring angrily at the man.

The whole day goes like this, people coming up to greet you, for good and bad. Some genuinely curious and other with darker thoughts in mind, thinking how fun it might be to corrupt a mere earthrealmer. So by the time the two of you get home Havik is seething. You barley make it through the huts opening before he's pulling you twords his bed. You laugh playfully, asking why he was so eager. Dairou doesn't answer, sliding his hands under your shirt, rubbing your sides with his calloused hands.

You try to ask him what's wrong but he's already pushed you onto his bed, his hands continue to roam underneath your top. He licks the side of your neck, relishing in he way you moan when he rubs you hardened nipples. He's frustrated with his lack of lips, wishing he could litter you with hickeys all over where people can see, maybe that way they'd know who you belong too. He chuckles lowly, knowing exactly what to do now.

"Forgive me, my love." Dairou purrs, and just as you're about to ask what for he bites down hard where your neck meets your shoulder. It's enough to make you bleed and he laps it all up, moaning at the taste. You whimper slightly, the pressure of his tongue on your freshly injured skin makes you hiss. "Maybe now people won't want to play with what's mine." He mumbles, pushing his teeth against your neck to imitate a kiss.

Dairou pulls your shirt off of you, his thumbs brush at the scars just below your nipples, admiring them like always. He happy to know he's not the only one with scars. Havik licks them passionately, making you moan as his tongue teasingly flick over your nipple. His fingers hook around your waistband, pulling down both your pants and underwear slowly, causing you to shiver as the cold air makes contact with your needy t-dick. "I was bothered all day, they all couldn't keep their hands off of you." You lover rants, licking a long strip from your bellybutton down to you needy hole. You try to tell him that it was nothing and that you're sure they were just being nice but he cuts you off when he pushes his face into your dripping cunt.

A moan it ripped from you as his proceeds to fuck you on his tongue. Your hands tangle through his hair, pulling him impossible closer. Havik groans lowly, the vibration of it makes your eyes roll back. He's especially good with his tongue, he's learned to please you without his lips, and god did he learn well. Just as your hips begin to rock against his face he pulls away, laughing softly as you pathetically whine for more. "Don't worry, I'll have you screaming just from my cock in a second," he teases, standing to pull down his pants, your watch as his hard cock springs up, the tip beaded with precum. "That way everyone can hear how good I make you feel." You scoff, watching as Dairou positions himself between your legs. He'll make sure you'll regret that.

Havik bottoms out instantly, sighing at the feeling of you velvet walls, smirking as you groan and grip the sheets. His pace is awfully slow, but each thrust it hard and knocks the air out of your lungs. He lifts your legs over his shoulders before leaning down into you, your legs pressed against your chest as he pounds into your wetness. Your greedy cunt squeezes around his dick, covering it with your arousal. You beg him to go faster and of course he obliges, speeding up at you request. He watches your every expression, proud of himself when he hears you moan. You try to express your need to keep it down, seeing as it's not like a house on earthrealm with walls no one would really hear you through, instead in a large hut stationed in the epicenter of the town. Dairou can care less, and if anyone had something to say about it he'd kill them himself.

He presses his teeth against your sweating forehead, humming softly as you beg for release, and he let's you, your legs shaking as you moan. "Mm, you feel so good. Look at how you suck me in even after all that," He pulls away, letting your legs fall to rest around his waist. Havik still fucks you, ignoring you overstimulated whining. "You keep whining but look, your body yearns for me. It's ok, I'll help you feel better." You face burns hot at his words, watching him lick his teeth, like he's about to devour you. You've failed horribly at trying to keep quiet and that only encourages your lover to keep going.

Dairou's hands never leave you body, squeezing your thighs between his large hand, resting the other on your stomach where he can feel himself inside of you. He wishes you could see yourself through his eyes, your a complete mess underneath him. The sight of you wrapped snuggly around his cock brings him to his end. He cums inside of you, pulling out to pump the rest out onto your stomach. His eyes are shut, jaw clenching as he moans for you. Just as you're about to doze off he pushed his length into you again, fucking his seed deep inside of you.

──

You swear it's been hours at this point, and Dairou is relentless. He's made you cum at least 5 times and he's only on his second. With each orgasm the more loud you become, the more sensitive you feel under his muscular body. "Just one more, can't you do that for me?" He asks sweetly, as if he's not gonna make it happen anyway. You nod you head, not even sure if you fully comprehend what he said, your brain effectively turned to mush.

Your boyfriends thumb rubs at you throbbing cock, your back arching off of the mattress. You cry desperately as he fucks you, screaming his name as it all becomes just to much. His breathing is heavy, jaw hung open as he takes in as much air as he can. Havik moans as he feels your abused pussy spasm around his cock, a mix of his and your own cum make a mess of your thighs and his lower abdomen. "Yeah, good boy, just like that, cum on my cock. Your perfect, perfect for me. " His head falls back, large hands gripping the fat of your hips as he finishes for a third time, praise pouring out of his mouth.

You whine softly, watching as he pulls himself away from you. Your cunt clenches around nothing, dripping with his hot cum. Dairou rolls over onto his side, pulling you into his chest with big arms. You can feel the bite marks of your neck beginning to bruise over, hissing when he pseudo-kisses it. After a little while, once you've come too, you tease him about it. He scoffs, "There's nothing wrong with making sure people know what's mine." but you're positive all of Seido knows now.

He urges you to sleep, promising to carry you around all of tomorrow because he knows you won't be able to walk, at least not well. You fall asleep happily to the thought of your anarchists, anti-government, big and scary boyfriend at your aid for a whole day.

A/n: ok that's all :P, I also promised I'd right more BUT I'M SUCH A LIAR SORRY, trying to do my request now because it literally just saw them idk why I hadn't noticed so sorry if this is late :/

#ftm reader #trans reader #transmasc reader #havik x reader #sub male reader #smut #havik smut #mk1 smut

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 8 months

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When the Stars Love You

(x)

Summary: Dean belongs in the starlight.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Nothing really. Implied smut, angst, fluff.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Y/N

Word Count: 1,028

A/N: So the beautiful @deanwinchesterswitch created the gorgeous aesthetic above as a request, and the original post can be found here. I was very inspired by this amazing piece of art, and with her permission I've written this little drabble in response to that inspiration. Thank you for this, Kym.

I'm placing this story somewhere in the 15th season, I guess. It's sometime after they realize that Chuck has been playing them all along, and that all he wants is one specific kind of ending. It sees Dean questioning everything in his life, and not sure what's real and what's Chuck. Y/N tries to help him through.

The beautiful divider below and at the bottom was created by @saradika

You loved Dean in the starlight. You were pretty sure the stars sparkled brighter when he was beneath them; they winked flirtatiously to get his attention. He'd turn his face up to them and they'd glow. You knew how they felt. When Dean focused his attention on you, you lit up too, bright and happy.

But tonight had been tough. You'd shouted and raged at each other, throwing words like daggers, seeing whose aim was the most true. As usual, in matters of skill, Dean was the victor. His words sliced sharp and deep, and made you bleed.

Even though you knew his heart - had connected it to your own with delicate stitches - his anger and desperate need to shove you away from him with both hands, often pulled the stitching loose, left your heart frayed and in danger of unraveling.

Sometimes you wanted to take scissors to them and cut him away from you for good, try to sew up the parts of you where he left holes.

But then you'd remember the way the stars watched him, the way they would shine down on him, and gild him in gold; the way moonlight washed over his face, and made it clean and soft - shadow and light dancing over his skin the same way it moved through his soul.

Now, you walked out into the inky dark and looked for him shining in starlight, bathed by the moon. You found him stretched out on Baby's hood, and the night was kind to him, it was his home; he'd lived his whole life there. So his breathing was easy now, fresh night air filling his lungs, and his heart was open once again.

You felt his pain, his regret, in the way his eyes wouldn't settle on your face. He sat up, and the lights of nighttime shifted, showing his sadness and exhaustion. The wind whistled around you, a cloud passed over the moon, and they seemed to chastise you for disturbing their midnight prince.

But the stars twinkled on. The lines of their movement, their path across the sky, reminded you that this man in front of you had been thrust into a destined life. He'd been told by god, by angels, all the heavenly host, even by a demon or two, that his reason for being, his sole purpose for walking in the waking world was to either die like a sacrificial lamb, or murder the boy he'd raised to a man.

Both brothers had been raised for slaughter, and all god wanted was to see which one would be slaughtered and what other would be left behind to dissolve into darkness, and, of course, he wanted to see just how much of the world would fall with him.

It was a burden you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, and one you actively wished you could remove from the broad shoulders of the man you'd loved for most of your life.

Dean finally looked at you fully, his deep green eyes shadowed in the darkness, but so filled with pain that even the stars couldn't watch anymore, and let the clouds cover their face.

A sound of low thunder rumbled from the east as the first, sharp, stinging needles of cold rain pelted you both. You ran the last few steps to him, as he jumped off the hood and dragged you into his arms. His kiss was hard and determined, like he was stamping you as his, before he pulled away and yanked you into the car with him.

Your kisses turned frantic as the squeaking metal door slammed shut. Hands flew over skin and tore at clothes, ripping the sodden material off and sucking the dampness from each other's skin.

You were both seeking pleasure from the pain, apologizing for the words you'd used to skewer each other, by whispering beautiful, warm messages of love across cold, pebbled skin. Your hands sought forgiveness with each caress and you both gave it freely as your eyes locked and you fell together into the abyss.

The storm raged around you, and through you, fast and powerful, both tempests breaking on a scream of pleasure and a fiery bolt of lightning. The ecstasy ebbed, and the thunder grumbled its last, as the stars peeked out to brighten the aftermath.

Dean's voice was deep and gentle, imitating the retreating thunder.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm just…"

He sighed deeply, not able to find the words.

"Lost." You finished for him. "You're lost. Chuck is trying to force you down the only path he's left open for you, so now you're scrambling in the dark trying to avoid the road and smashing through anything you think might be an obstacle."

Dean shook his head, awe in his expression at your ability to read him and understand him so easily. "Yes." He said simply.

You shook her head and climbed into his lap. "I'm not an obstacle Dean. I wasn't shoved in your way to make you stumble." You took his big hand in yours. "I chose to be here and walk beside you."

You felt his uncertainty and squeezed his hand tightly. "I promise it's true, and I’ll prove it to you, because no matter what you say or do, I'm gonna stay here beside you, and we're gonna destroy Chuck together."

You rolled down the window and let the damp, cool air rush over your exposed skin, turning his chin with your fingers so he was looking out the window at the stars bobbing and weaving through the clouds.

"We don't have to follow Chuck. Let's pick a path in the stars and follow it. They'll lead us home."

The corner of Dean's mouth lifted sardonically. "Chuck made them too."

You shook your head, not convinced. "No, mother nature is stronger than him, and the stars love you. They're on our side."

Dean laughed softly. "You're nuts, woman."

But he kissed you softly, and you felt the kernel of hope bloom in your joined hearts.

So open your eyes and see The way our horizons meet And all of the lights will lead Into the night with me And I know these scars will bleed But both of our hearts believe All of these stars will guide us home

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous

#dean winchester #dean x y/n #dean x reader #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst #inspired writing #deanwinchesterswitch #beautiful aesthetic

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haechaninmyheart · 2 years

Text

an alpha’s desire

the image does not belong to me. credits to the original owner.

summary - gathering more information on the soon-to-be owner of seoul’s leading tech companies, should be an easy job, especially for someone like you but when you get your heat at the most unexpected time, things don’t exactly go in your favour. well, almost.

pairing - ceo! alpha!haechan x omega! f!reader.

genre - smut, non-idol!au, a/b/o au.

word count - 6k.

warnings - use of she/her pronouns, protected sex, fingering, oral sex (receiving), knife (pressed against your throat and used to cut off a piece of your clothing), ice play, reader gets a concussion, lip injury, tiniest description of his lip bleeding from biting it too much, wrists are tied to the bed, finger sucking, multiple orgasms, knotting, spitting, slapping.

author’s note - repost of an alpha’s desire. happy reading 💖

18+ content ahead, so minors don’t interact!!!

. . .

Lee Donghyuck, or more well known as Lee Haechan, is the only son of the owner of Seoul’s leading tech companies and is due to take over his father’s role soon. However, as of recently, he has also been suspected of leading a series of crimes, mainly cyber, including accessing unauthorised systems of rival firms and organisations within the same market but some others too. There is a risk that he might take it a step further with his cyber crimes if he lands his father’s position and that’s when the consequences don’t affect just his competitors’ problem but other organisations outside the technology industry. That’s only if he’s part of them.

Another thing to note about Haechan is that he loves to party and tends to host one after each company event or every other weekend at his villa, not too far away from the city. Tonight, the company is celebrating 50 years since the founding of the well-known organisation at its main office building, which means Haechan will be there along with his parents and some of the top business people in Seoul.

This also means that his apartment is empty and tonight, that’s where you find yourself. With a tap of the 6 digit code, you’re in. Sneaking in is easy for you. Most of those who live on the top floors of these apartment complexes are attending his party and this just makes it even more easier, but you are sure to keep your guard up. When things are going too well, there’s usually something about to go bad soon after.

Instantly, you are met with the strong musky scent as you push the door open with your gloved hand and step into the apartment. It’s overpowering, fills up your lungs and makes your body feel hot and shaky. Even with half your face covered with a mask, you can smell the intense scent and with a trembling exhale of a breath you step further inside his home to inspect your surroundings. The door you quietly close behind yourself and now find yourself standing in his hallway as you glance out one of the many large windows in his living room, and at the many buildings Seoul has.

There’s something rather calming about staring at the dark landscape from a very high floor; at the small white dots that resemble the windows of other apartments and at the small moving lights on the ground, cars rushing to get where they need to be this evening but right now the night scenery of Seoul city can be admired some other time. You’ve got a job to do.

Within the large apartment of his, you need to locate his laptop and any other evidence so you continue your little exploration of his apartment. Eyes carefully tracing over his kitchen counter, you’re still standing in the hallway area being mindful not to step on his beige rug with your boots so as not to leave noticeably marks.

Haechan has plenty of people over at his apartment, lots of girls, that’s no secret. The neighbouring apartment has previously complained about banging noises through the walls late at night and well… everyone already knows why. Though you still make an effort not to leave too much evidence. It’s a simple mistake and you aren’t a rookie in your industry anymore.

His living room and kitchen have nothing important, that is obvious with a quick scan, so you assign yourself the task to find his bedroom, which you find is located at the end of the hallway. If the scent you considered was strong when you stepped into the apartment, it had your head spinning when you stepped into his room.

As you hold the door handle tightly, letting out something in between a harsh breath and a high whine, you’re nearly double over. There’s no way you could get your heat. No. Not right now. You’re in the middle of a mission, at some stranger’s place. Well, Haechan was a stranger to you. You’d never met him in person, only seen pictures of him online when reading the news and when Taeyong presented you his file whilst you were discussing the surge in recent crimes, and how he was linked to them.

The scent, Haechan’s scent, you pinpoint, it’s strong enough to have you surrendered but the man himself is nowhere to be seen. Mostly, you are grateful for that fact. You can carry out your job in peace (that is if you can even take a step into his bedroom) and you wouldn’t be on the verge of passing out or holding onto your own decent morals by the thread as you try to surpass the desire to be used as a cock sleeve by another Alpha.

You squeeze your thighs together to soothe the growing ache in between your legs as you close your eyes. It gives you some level of relief, but not enough. You want an Alpha’s knot. No, you need it.

You give yourself a minute, at most to gather yourself as you internally curse at yourself for being born as an omega, you hated it. Absolutely despised being born at the bottom with a sole purpose to reproduce. Why couldn’t have you been born as a Beta? You didn’t need to be claimed by another Alpha as his and bred, and nor did you want that life either. Though heats were rather difficult to bear without an Alpha blowing out your back whenever your heat symptoms become too much.

Your body shakes at the thought. The thought of being claimed. Maybe you could change your mind now, right? Plenty of omegas still abide by traditionals rules, have their pack arrange a suitable Alpha mate for them and then be set for life.

But the thing is you don’t have your own pack to do that. You don’t know where they are or if they know your whereabouts. Like a small percentage of the population you’d managed to successfully run away at a young age and had been taken in by the safety of a Beta who was kind enough to look after you. That Beta, who went by the name of Taeyong and was now your work colleague.

“Oh, god.” You cry out, trying to straighten yourself up to the best of your ability. The slick, you can feel it leak and it’s soaking through your black jeans as you stand still. Standing where you are right now, isn’t helping either. Your target will definitely know that someone was in his city home without his permission, you’re leaving your scent all over his apartment and Haechan will have his suspicions too so right now, standing at the door seems safe. Even if there is no Alpha to pick up your scent now, he will later when he’s laying in his bed.

You glance around his room from your hunched over position at the door, using his bedroom door to support yourself as the ache in between your legs only grows stronger. The dark walls make the room seem smaller than it truly is, the wall opposite the large window looks like a wardrobe made of dark wood. His bed moved slightly away from the wall has a rug underneath it, also of dark grey colour like his bedsheets, by the window is his desk and that’s where you spot the slim, easy to carry device. It's his laptop.

Even with the pain between your legs, even more painful breaths you have to take and your skin feeling scorching hot, the corners of your mouth manage to curl up. The only reason you’ve dragged yourself all the way here this evening and you sure as hell won’t be leaving empty handed.

You stumble towards the desk near the opposite side of the room, ignoring the symptoms of your heat as you focus on the object settled on the desk, your hands going to the pockets of your jeans to bring out a device to save a copy of all his files on. As you slide the laptop towards yourself and open it, you’re met by another barrier. It’s requesting a password. You type the same pincode you used to get into the apartment but it’s incorrect, you do the same for his date of birth and get the same response yet again. Perhaps it’s his date of birth backwards-

“What’s a cute Omega like you doing in my apartment alone, huh?” You feel something cold and sharp pressed against your neck before the scent, his scent hits you. It’s Haechan. You aren’t sure how he had gotten inside the apartment, surely with your heightened senses now you’d be able to scent him out before he got to his room?

Haechan has got himself pressed against you, as you stand sandwiched between his desk and his body with his hand holding a pocket knife held to your throat whilst his other hand is held over your mouth. He makes no effort to stop you from breathing, just covers it enough for you to breathe in his scent.

You can’t even form a reply instead, too busy wondering how he was able to walk in and catch you with your nose not picking up his scent. He smells fucking amazing now by the way, you can taste him through your own mask and it’s making your mouth water. He couldn’t have been quick, there was still a short distance from the entrance of this apartment to his bedroom and you would’ve heard his footsteps in the hallway too.

“And she’s in her heat?” He tuts, disapprovingly. “Little Omega should know better than to wander into an Alpha’s house in this state...especially when he’s near his own rut too.” He groans the last part of the sentence into your ear, burying his face into your neck as he takes in your delicious scent, greedily. He controls himself from wanting to dart out his tongue to taste your sweet skin, your delightful scent present on his tongue is enough for him to want his face in between your legs for a whole week.

You tense up at his movement. An omega near her heat and an alpha near his rut… that doesn’t sound too good. You don’t personally know Haechan to let his scent be present all over you like this but oh god, do you want that.

Your eyes travel back to the laptop sitting open and waiting for the correct password to be typed in. The main reason why you are here. To collect information, perhaps against the alpha who’s got a good grip on you or in his favour. Quick thinking helps you in making a mental plan on how to escape his grip and grab the laptop before you make a run for it. It’s not the best, but the longer you stand against him, breathing in his scent, the lower your chances are of getting out that door without being further questioned or witnessing how exactly alphas deal with their ruts near an omega first hand. Though, first you need to distract him.

“Alpha.” You whine into his hand, your cheeks feeling flushed as you speak. It’s the first time you’ve addressed someone else in a tone as obscene as that.

Haechan moves his face back up towards your ear, smirking against your skin. “Yes, sweetheart?” His hold loosens on the weapon in his hands as he gives you all his attention, waiting for you to continue. But you have nothing to say, not anything pleasant anyways and Haechan is met with a hit to his lip and nose area, making him instantly let go of your face, groaning aloud as he takes a step back. He squeezes his nose bridge and there’s a metallic-like taste present in his mouth.

This gives you enough time to grab the laptop and make a dash for the bedroom door, though you don't get very far. Haechan is equally as quick as he grabs the back of your t-shirt preventing you from taking another step, his actions fuelled by his overwhelming rage. He can’t believe he’s just been hit in the face by an omega who’s broken into his apartment and is now trying to make a run for it with his personal laptop.

“Just where do you think you are going with that?” He yanks you back, nearly ripping your top as he snatches the laptop from your grip. He tosses the device onto the bed, your eyes follow as it lands upside down and he immediately slams you into the wall. His free hand wrapping itself around your neck as he glares at you. His bottom lip is bleeding and you can feel the anger radiate off his heated body. “What do you plan on doing with my laptop?”

You stay quiet, glancing at the name item behind him. You were so close. So fucking close.

“Tell me.” He speaks through gritted teeth, squeezing at your throat and when you begin to struggle, your hands clawing at his around your neck until he lets go. You drop to the floor, pulling down your mask as you gasp for air as he stares at you. You don’t care if you're breathing in his powerful scent but the one thing you do care about is not leaving empty handed, that you are certain of.

Haechan realises that too so he awaits your next move and when you come charging at him, he is quick to grab you, twisting your body to the side. Though he forgets to take into account how close he’s been standing to his desk and when your head hits the edge of the table, making a noise loud enough to wake the next door neighbours (if they were still home), Haechan is sure that he’s given you a concussion.

---

When you open your eyes, there’s a throbbing sensation present in your head and you instinctively let out a groan. The burning ache between your legs has only grown and when you try to roll to your side, you feel a tug at your wrists. Glancing up you realise that they’ve been tied to the bed, you aren’t exactly sure where the fabric leads to but the dark fabric around your wrists prevents you from lifting your hands up more than a few inches.

“Awake?”

You snap your head towards the voice towards the end of the bed.

“Don’t try to kick me, or I will tie down your legs if needs be.” Haechan takes a seat by your legs with a glass of whiskey in his hands. His lip, the one you hit your head with and made bleed, looks better now. “Now...tell me, why are you in my apartment and why do you need my laptop?” He speaks with a raised brow, looking down at you.

You thickly swallow, your eyes fixed on his figure. Your skin feels like it's on fire and you can’t focus. At least not with an Alpha sitting so near you.

Haechan comes even closer, to place the glass on his bedside table and it makes your heat symptoms flare up. With knitted eyebrows you let out a whine, rubbing your thighs together. Haechan takes notice of this, a smirk spreading across his face.

Your face mask has been removed, so his scent is even more powerful and intense than before, filling up your nostrils and lungs as you continue to take laboured breaths. Your chest is rising and falling at a rather quick pace.

“So?” Haechan comes even closer, all up in your personal space and his scent has your insides screaming. At this rate he might as well be kissing you soon.

You let out the most dumbfounded noise as you make eye contact with him.

“Can’t speak? Your heat that bad?”

“What- No!” You protest.

“Little omega can speak after all...”

You helplessly tug at the restraints around your wrists before trying to pull yourself up.

However Haechan is quick to react, pulling you down by your waist and then pinning you down by your hips. “Don’t you dare.”

This action of his sends a wave of arousal in between your thighs. You’re definitely sure you’ve soaked through your panties and jeans, you can feel it. And Haechan can smell it. The delightful scent present in the air and coming from you, he just wants to bury his face in between your legs.

He moves his hands off your hips, opting to place one on your lower abdomen as he smirks down at you and his fingers trace the edge of your jeans waistband. Your face burns under his gaze.

“What’s wrong, little omega?”

Replying with only a whimper at the choice of words he’s been addressing you tonight, Haechan settles his hand in the middle of your lower torso. You feel your eyes prickle with tears, you feel like you’re going to explode if he doesn’t stop his teasing, you feel too hot and you want him to do something more than just move his hands around your jeans like that.

“Want me to go lower?” He groans.

A desperate moan erupts from your mouth and you feel his hand move lower. ‘Finally.’ You think to yourself as your body shamelessly reacts, your hips buckling up into his hand and allowing him to apply a light level of pressure to your core.

“Needy?” He grins.

You don’t say anything. Mainly because you know this is wrong, you aren’t supposed to be feeling like this towards some alpha but you can’t help it and he isn’t just some alpha. It’s Lee fucking Haechan. The next owner of Seoul’s largest and well known technology company. You wonder how many other omegas desire to be in your position but you remember to him, you’re just another omega. You’re sure he doesn't even know your name.

Haechan leans in, voice low enough to send shivers down your spine. “I asked you something, little omega.”

Your body is betraying your mind and under his gaze you feel submissive. A part of you, the submissive side of you as an omega wants this alpha to do what alphas do when they're in a rut; you want him to breed you but-

Work.

Work would never allow this, Taeyong would never encourage you to make decisions like this in your heat and you never wanted to be claimed by an alpha. But he doesn’t need to claim you to please you, right?

Right.

You could just be another omega he’s fucked and Taeyong doesn’t need to know of this, nor does work.

“Pl-please.”

“Of course, omega.” Haechan speaks in the softest of tones as if he hadn’t knocked you mere minutes ago with the edge of his desk. He moves onto the bed, settling himself in between your legs on his knees, pushing your t-shirt up, off your head and leaving it around your arms.

Then goes your bra, his hand reaching around under your and skillfully unclasps it with minimum effort. Haechan smirks. He’s a fucking pro at this shit, he’s fucked enough girls to do this blindfolded. His hands are quick to go under the item of clothing, squeezing and palms rubbing over your sensitive tips.

He pushes your bra up too, but when it doesn’t go further than your shoulder, Haechan decides he might as well cut it off. And he does. With the same knife he’d pressed your throat when he saw your figure by his desk and after he’s sliced through both straps, he tosses the item off his bed.

He curses looking down at your bare upper half. ‘You’re gorgeous.’ He thinks to himself, admires the way you lay in his bed under him but all this staring is making you nervous.

You’re not used to being looked at the way he’s looking at you, hungrily and you’ve never been topless in front of an alpha, or another person as a matter of fact.

“Haechan.” You moan. You’re growing impatient. You’re the only one half naked, Haechan is still fully clothed. He’s navy blue blazer jacket isn’t on him anymore, just his white shirt that’s been rolled up at the sleeves and navy trousers but before he undresses himself, your jeans have got to go. You watch him fiddle with your jean zipper before pulling them off and throwing them on the floor.

“Patience, little omega.” He cages you in his arms, leaning down to place a string of wet kisses from the back of your ear to a sensitive spot on your neck. One of his thighs slide right against your core, giving you something to grind against and you feel a burst of euphoria as you pathetically begin to rub yourself against his thigh, letting out little noises.

Haechan doesn’t know how he hasn’t lost control yet. The noises you’re making, the sweet scent you’re giving off, you’re driving him crazy and he thinks he’s holding onto his morals by a thread. He puts pressure on your core with his thigh, listening to your cries of pleasure. He’s nowhere near making you feel as good as he can though the human side of him wants him to go easy on you, show some element of mercy but his instincts are screaming at him to flip you over, push you ass up and fucking your little omega cunt full of his cum until your shaking from the intense pleasure.

A harsh suck has you crying out the alpha’s name once again and Haechan smirks against your skin as he continues the rough treatment with his mouth. When satisfied with himself, Haechan moves back from your neck and his fingers hook themselves around the waistband of your underwear. He’s feeling impatient to get a taste of you.

You watch his figure through half closed eyes as he removes the last piece of clothing on you, assisting him by lifting your legs closer to your chest as he slides your panties off. However, instead of throwing it onto the floor of his bedroom like the rest of your clothes, he scrunches it up into a ball and leans over you again, holding the item close to your mouth.

“Open.” His voice is authoritative and you can’t help but do as he says. If it were possibly, your cheeks burn even more as he stuffs the soft fabric into your mouth. You can taste yourself but that’s not what’s on your mind at the current moment.

Haechan dips his head in between your legs, tongue racing out to get a taste of you and as he licks a firm strip from your entrance to your clit, making you moan out. His hands are on your outer thigh, thumb stroking your skin as he nods his face against your heat. His nose brushes against your clit, making it tingle with pleasure. His licks are rapid, careless and harsh, he’s mean when he sucks on your clit, making your thighs tremble in his hold. You can understand why he’s shoved your panties inside your mouth in the first place.

Haechan squeezes the flesh of your thighs when you struggle to keep them open and on the third time this happens, he moves his hands to your inner thighs before pinning them down. Spitting your cunt before mixing it in with your leaking slick.

You groan out in embarrassment, you’ve never felt so dirty but you want him to do it again. However, the alpha has other plans, he pushes two fingers in, memorised by the way you just suck his fingers in. “You know,” Haechan starts off, scissoring both his digits inside of you. “Omegas are capable of taking an alpha’s knot during their own heat with little to no foreplay. Shall we test it out?”

You clench around him, your thighs still as you maintain your eyes on his figure.

“I think my little omega likes that.” Haechan chuckles with a grin on his face. You don’t know why he’s referring you as his, you aren’t. He hasn’t claimed you and nor do you want him to.

Haechan connects his mouth back to your clit, using his tongue to stimulate the sensitive bud as he draws his fingers in and out of you.

Instead of the aching pain in your core, you feel something build up and it feels great.

The noises coming out of your pussy as he moves his fingers, curling them inside your, making out with your clit, all of this contributes to the ball of fire deep inside of you and it builds and it builds.

You begin to shake again, raising your hips to meet Haechan’s face and he has to press you down with his free hand. It keeps building and building. You gasp with the ball of fabric in your mouth, damp from both your saliva and your slick as Haechan’s digits brush against something that makes your whole body shudder with excitement.

Haechan continues to stroke that area inside of you making the pleasure grow and grow, and your jaw goes slack, your eyes roll back, your legs stiffen, your toes curl, until finally-

An electrifying pleasure washes over your entire body, like fireworks being set off and you hold your breath for a few seconds, convulsing around the two digits inside of you that are determined to draw out this climax for as long as possible. You aren’t able to make much noise with something in your mouth but the way your eyebrows crease and your heels dig into the mattress, the alpha knows he’s making you feel amazing.

Haechan’s warm breath fans against your heat after he removes his lips from your clit, his fingers stay inside of you for a moment longer, giving your g-spot a few gentle strokes before he slides them out. He replaces the fabric in your mouth with his fingers, the same ones he used to touch you.

“Suck.”

And you do.

Tongue swirling around his digits as you moan. You’re a mess as you lick your own juices off and when Haechan removes his hand away from you, he lets you know with a repeat of your new nickname: his messy little omega.

“Now, how about we test…”

You watch the alpha tentatively as he gets up from his bed. He removes his shirt and he’s impatient whilst doing so, rushing with the top buttons before yanking it upwards and then he reaches down to his bedside table, opening the first drawer. From a box, Haechan pulls out a golden square, holding the corner of it in his mouth as he kicks the drawer shut and begins to unbuckle his belt which places on his table next to the glass of whiskey he was sipping on earlier.

You have a slight feeling he’s planning on doing something with that belt but all you can do is nervously gulp as you watch him. His trousers drop to the floor with a soft sound then his boxers, his cock springing out from the confinements of his pants and you audibly gasped at his size.

Haechan laughs at your reaction, flaunting the size of his dick in his hand as he strokes himself in front of you, his tip oozing with pre-cum. He takes the thing in between his mouth, the condom of which the branded packaging you recognise and it’s a large size too. That you are sure of. He’s rather quick at sliding it down his length, as if he’s done it a hundred times already but then again, it’s Haechan, he probably has.

The edge of the condom rests around his growing knot. Your eyes are fixed on his cock as he crawls back onto the bed and over you, both his hands planted on the mattress either side of you.

“How well can you take my knot?”

Haechan really meant he wanted to test that whole ‘an omega is able to take an alpha’s knot during their own heat without much foreplay’ because he lines himself up before slamming himself inside of you, knocking all the air out of your lungs.

You gasp out, your whole body moving upwards at his action. It doesn’t hurt though, it actually feels quite the opposite, your slick makes it all the easier for Haechan to thrust his cock inside of you and you tug at the restraints around your wrist. Your thighs squeeze themselves around him and you wish you could wrap your arms around his neck.

Haechan’s got his face buried in your neck, grunting as he takes in your scent and with each thrust he’s pushing you up the bed. His knot teases your entrance, he’s not given you his full length yet. When he cums, he’ll think about it then. His teeth graze against your skin and you whine in your dishevelled and hot state.

Is he going to bite you?

Instead he licks over the skin he’s just teased with his teeth, pushing down the urge to claim you as he does with every other omega. Though, you aren’t just any other omega, you’d been in his apartment without being brought home by him and granted that you’d broken in but, same difference and you came to his home near the time of your heat as he was about to go into his own rut too. This couldn’t be a coincidence.

The moans you let out each time Haechan fills you to the brim with his length are obscene and loud. You can feel your second orgasm build up. Your head is millimetres away from the headboard with the shirt around your arms in between that and the top of your head. Haechan’s powerful thrusts have managed to push you up and you use your hands, in attempts to push yourself back down.

Haechan helps you, dragging you down by the hips as far as you would come and he pushes your legs against your chest, folding you in half almost as he pounds into you. His eyes flash with anger, you aren’t sure why and his jaw is clenched. Haechan’s own heavy breathing is fanning against your neck, accompanying your moans with each slam he delivers into you.

Your second orgasm is just as intense as your first. A wave of moans, groans and curses spill from your lips as you reach it, pulling excessively at the restraint around your wrists and you’re surprised you haven’t broken them with all this tugging as pulling.

Haechan empties himself inside of the condom, groaning swear words and biting his wounded lip. The way your insides are milking him feels too good and he just wants to stay inside of you. He manages to draw out a little blood from his lips and hopes it’ll heal by tomorrow morning but if it doesn’t, he’ll be spending the whole week in the comfort of his apartment so he doesn’t worry over it too much.

As he moves back, dropping your legs and letting you take a moment to enjoy the post orgasmic bliss, Haechan’s eyes wander over to the glass of whiskey on his bedside table when he discards the condom, it gives him an idea. Picking it up, he chugs down the remaining golden liquid and leaves the three ice cubes in his glass before scooping one out.

He places it onto your chest, watching you gasp and squirm at the coldness. He brings it across your chest in an ‘M’ formation before moving it down the middle of your chest and then over one of your nipples. His lips attached over your other one and you’re breathing heavily from the way his mouth feels. He swirls his tongue around the bud, presses it flat against it and any other tongue movement that comes to mind. When the ice cube melts, he takes another from the glass and switches sides, giving the same treatment to your other nipple. “Feels good, doesn’t it, little omega?”

You’re letting out the most whiniest cries and moans in response, too busy writhing under his body from the pleasure. You still haven’t fully recovered from your second orgasm and you can feel your third one build up as Haechan touches you.

When the second ice cube melts on your chest, Haechan moves lower with the whiskey glass from the bedside table and takes the last ice cube, tracing it across your lower abdomen. Then lower, drawing various shapes on your inner thigh. Your chest is rising and falling at a quick rate, and you can’t keep your legs still.

“Alpha.” You whine again, shaking your head. This is the second time this night you’re whining that but this time it’s different. He isn’t holding a knife against your throat but instead, he’s settled in between your legs with an ice cube in his hand and is rubbing it over the sensitive areas on your thigh. “It’s cold.”

“It’s gonna be cold, it's ice.” He responds to your whine instantly, dropping the tiny cube of ice back in his glass and then setting it to one side. “Silly, little omega.” He says in a teasing tone as he towers over you once again and his hands come up to yours, intertwining with yours. “My silly, little omega.” He fiddles with the straps of the fabric around your wrists, removing them before pushing off your top and instructing you to turn over so that you are on all fours.

You’re surprised by his animalistic stamina and you think about how many rounds he could go for before he can’t, as he lines you up.

“You want more, little omega?” He groans, rubbing the tip of his cock up and down your lips. Alpha’s in a rut could cum an awful lot, Haechan knows that. His instincts want him to breed an omega but the use of a condom prevents that. He isn’t ready for that.

You moan, of course you do. That’s what omegas are supposed to do after all.

“Yes?” He’s still teasing your entrance.

Stupid alpha. He said he was going to give you his knot but still hadn’t. What alpha does that?

He lands a slap on your ass, making you yelp in surprise at the sudden action.

“Yea-yeah.”

“Good girl.” Haechan grabs the back of your neck, pushing it down into the bed as he slides himself in with ease. He’s rough with his thrusts, after all you could take it and he’d prepared you enough already. Now you were ready to take his knot. His other hand, not around your neck, comes around to draw circles on your clit and he enjoys the way you suddenly begin to clench around his dick.

Your hands are buried into his bedsheets, tugging as he rams into you at a quick speed. Your mouth hangs open, drooling onto his sheets and you let out various moans, whines, gasps as he hits all the right places. Your nipples brush against the fabric of his sheets too and it feels good. You squeeze your eyes closed as you feel a familiar hot feeling build up inside of you.

Haechan can tell how you’re getting closer to your third orgasm as you grip his bedsheets, your knuckles bulging out as you pull the fabric. Soon, you aren’t able to hold yourself up, going limp against the mattress as you repeat the alpha’s name and Haechan follows your body, not showing any hint of mercy as you cry out.

His knot feels huge and you understand why he hadn’t given it to you earlier. You're convulsing around him, breathing hard, there’s tears in your eyes because it just feels that good, your thighs are trembling uncontrollably and Haechan is enjoying every single bit of it.

He stays inside you for a moment after the both of you have come, trying to catch your breaths as you lay against one another. He has a hand resting on your hip and it feels warm, the good kind of warmth. It is usual for alphas to do that, to make sure their omega doesn’t let any cum fall out or perhaps out of affection but you aren’t his omega. Though, you don’t complain.

originally posted on ‘jaesspresso’ but i no longer have access to that blog.

#haechan #haechan smut #nct haechan smut #nct hard hours #nct 127 smut #nct u smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct dream hard hours #nct u hard hours #lee donghyuck

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lucy-sky · 2 years

Note

Since you said we could send two requests, I'd love to see a drabble with The Mute and the prompt - first kiss + in the moonlight. No pressure, I'd be happy with either 💖

Moonlight Blossom (The Mute x f!Reader)

1220 words (This one turned a bit too long, but I reread it like 5 times and I can't bring myself to delete anything so let it be); no warnings; gif by me

AO3 link

A/N: It's my first time writing The Mute, and I enjoyed it A LOT *_* (to the point that I'm thinking about possible sequel)

The Reader character is heavily inspired by Olga - Anya Taylor-Joy's character from The Northman... And partly by Misty Day from American Horror Story. In other words, a local friendly witch™, kind, yet mysterious and lonely. Anyway uh... Hope it turned out good enough :')

REQUESTS CLOSED!

The night is filled with fragrance. Herbs, wildflowers and fresh grass, the scent of tree bark and warm soil, cooling down in the midnight air after a sunny day. And also something indescribable, the way only summer nights smell like. You close your eyes and inhale deeply, a content smile playing on your lips. It’s your time and you love it. The forest is your friend, has always been, as long as you remember yourself.

People in the village call you a witch behind your back, same as they used to call your mother before. There were rumors she had accursed her husband, and the next day he was found dead. The rumors lied - there was no curse. Your father died because he used to drink too much knock-off booze and had a pretty explosive temper, so one day a drunken fight simply didn’t end well for him. You’ve never missed him though.

People used to call your mother a witch, but with no disrespect, because there literally wasn’t a single person in the village she hadn’t helped at least once. No matter how badly someone was sick or injured, she always had a special cure. Now that she’s gone, you took her place. She taught you everything she knew, all about herbs, wild berries and potions. What could heal you, ease your pain or make it worse.

It’s Full Buck Moon - time to gather some fresh herbs. You used to help your mother when you were younger, and now you keep doing it alone every year - a ritual that always brings you joy. Walking in the woods at night may sound dangerous, but you are not afraid. You feel exactly where you belong.

As you walk down a familiar path, you suddenly realize you’re not alone - someone is following you. Heart beating faster, you turn sharp round and instantly feel relieved as you see him.

“Oh, it’s you…”

You don’t really trust men - your father is to blame. But when you found this tall dark-haired man at the shore, badly wounded, almost at death's door, there was no hesitation on your part - you simply couldn’t leave him there to bleed. Your mother wouldn’t. She always taught you to help people in need. She believed there’s a kind of invisible force that runs the world and everyone’s lives. God or Destiny - whatever you call it, it sees everything, and if you're being kind, it will pay you back when you need it the most. The more you give - the more you receive, that’s what she used to say.

It took a rather long while, but you managed to heal his body. With his soul though, it’s way more complicated. He didn’t say a word to you, so you have no idea what he’s been through and who did this to him. But you can sense that something is torturing his mind, waking him up in the middle of the night gasping for air after another bad dream. There’s one thing you know for sure by now - he’s a decent man.

You were suspicious of him at first, you can’t deny. A few nights you slept with a knife underneath your pillow. But slowly you both learned to trust each other, and now you find his silent presence oddly comforting. There’s this quiet gentleness behind his rough exterior, in the way he looks at you with unspoken kindness and gratitude. It tells you he’s a good person, no matter what horrible things he might have seen or done.

The Mute cocks his head, glancing at you softly as if apologizing for startling you.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, examining his expression as he comes closer. He’s been around long enough, so you already learned to read it.

“Oh. I see. You’re worried about me? Please don’t. It’s just my usual routine. Some flowers I need only bloom at full moon. I’ll be fine, trust me. Been doing this for years. Go back to sleep, alright? I’ll be back soon.”

You give him a reassuring smile and continue your way. He doesn’t go away though. You can hear his footsteps behind your back - he clearly doesn’t want to leave you alone in the woods, and it gives you an unusually warm sensation. It’s new for you, and even though it’s totally unnecessary, you’re still glad he decided to join you tonight. It’s something so personal, something you only shared with your mother before, and now you realize you don’t mind sharing it with your silent companion as well.

He follows you to the moonlit meadow - your most favorite spot. The moon is amazingly bright tonight, not a single cloud in the sky, stars twinkle silently above your heads.

“Isn’t it beautiful here? You know, sometimes I just lie here in the grass, watch the moon and the stars, and it’s like I’m all alone in the entire world. You know what it feels like?” you ask, and he nods in reply. Of course he knows. He’s just as lonely as you are, maybe that’s what draws you together. As much as you love your quiet solitary life, every human being needs another human being. It’s a law of nature, simple as that.

For a few minutes you’re busy picking the flowers. The Mute helps, so the work goes fast. Once you’re done, you put your basket on the ground and lie down on the grass with a deep sigh.

“I want to stay here for a little while,” you say, as you close your eyes.

He watches you, hesitant for a split second, before getting down to lie beside you. The light brush of his fingers against your arm makes you shiver, and you turn to look at him. There’s a soft, barely visible smile on his lips as he hands you a delicate white flower. You bring it to your nose, inhaling its scent, and when your eyes meet his again, you think you could drown in their depths. Slowly, you reach out to tuck the flower in his dark curls. The chuckle he makes causes your heart to swell with sudden tenderness, and you let your fingers tentatively stroke his bearded cheek. His hand, big and warm, finds yours, you watch him pressing a kiss against your knuckles, and then it happens. Without thinking, driven by pure instinct, you lean closer and press your lips against his. It feels weird and awkward, and you instantly want to hide, but then his thumb brushes against your cheekbone, and he kisses you, for real this time. It’s tender and incredibly sweet - the softness of his lips and the light scratch of his beard. The gentle bump of your noses against each other and the warmth of his breath. The quiet hum he makes when you open up to him, welcoming his tongue to slide against yours. You can’t tell how long it lasts, but it leaves you all flushed and breathless.

Your first kiss. That’s what it feels like, now you know. It’s like flowers blooming in your chest and butterflies in your belly. Beautiful. Smiling blissfully, you lean into him, nestling your head against his firm chest. Closing your eyes, you feel his fingers caressing your hair as the steady beating of his heart lulls you to sleep.

Thank you for reading!! (and for this request, omg)

Tags: @skvatnavle, @chellestrash

1500 Milestone Celebration Drabbles Masterlist

#the mute #the mute x reader #pilgrimage #jon bernthal fanfiction #requests #drabble #follower milestone #lucy tries to write

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mtap-comics · 1 year

Text

Welcome back to my Bad Things Happen Bingo!

Fandom: My time at Portia

Pairing: Arlo x Female Builder

Summary: Elenya never thought getting her nose broken by a door was the way to get a boyfriend.

Word count: 6464

Prompt: Bloody Nose

Author’s note: So, this one is a mess. The beginning of this has been in my WIP's since August last year and was originally going to be a short, sweet story and now we have this...

There's more angst in it than I planned (not too much, but I couldn't control my head on this one), but hopefully the ending makes up for it.

In between, I think my knowledge of English left me, so if something sounds weird, please let me know!

Now I hope you enjoy reading!

Warnings: Blood, Broken Nose, Getting Together, First Kiss

Read on AO3: Link

Impactful Meeting

Elenya walked across the Central Plaza in a good mood. It was a sunny, albeit cold, autumn day and the leaves of the Wishing Tree were shimmering in all sorts of colours. She loved the colours of autumn, especially here in Portia. In Barnarock, unfortunately, there weren't too many trees, so she was all the more happy about her first autumn in the small city.

She was on her way to the research center. Yesterday she had found an old toy ship in the abandoned ruin 2 and wanted to give it to Petra. The researcher was happy to receive all kinds of things from the old world, even the non-technological ones, and Elenya hoped that she would be excited about it.

But when she pushed open the door to the research center, no one was inside.

Strange, it was only 5 pm. Where is Petra?

"Petra, Merlin?!" She took a few more steps into the room and called out to the two researchers, but there was no answer. Shrugging her shoulders, she turned back to the door. Probably the two of them had once again pulled an all-nighter and had now gone home early, completely overtired.

She was about to reach for the doorknob when the door suddenly opened and swung inward. Startled, she took a step back, but unfortunately she was too slow. The door hit her in the middle of the face and with a pain-filled cry she fell backwards onto her butt.

Pain shot up from her nose into her head and frantically she held her hands protectively in front of it. Something warm ran from it and she tasted metal on her lips.

Ouch...

"Oh God, Elenya, I'm so sorry. Are you all right? Let me see, please." A horrified voice hit her ears and someone knelt in front of her. Calloused hands gently grabbed hers and gingerly pulled them away from her face. A shocked hiss came from the person in front of her and slowly she opened her eyes.

Her gaze immediately fell on the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. Eyes that belonged to a certain Civil Corps Captain (who she might have had a teeny tiny crush on) and were now looking at her worriedly and guiltily. “Fuck, I'm so sorry. I didn't expect you to be right behind the door. I hope I didn't break your nose."

"Ouch..." She said aloud this time and a soft whimper escaped her.

Damn, that hurt.

"Oh geez, that's bleeding pretty bad. Wait, I've got a tissue somewhere." Hectically, Arlo rummaged around in his waist pack until he triumphantly pulled one out. "Here, let me..." He held the handkerchief gently to her nose, yet pain shot up into her forehead at even the lightest touch and she flinched slightly. A single tear escaped from her eye and frustrated, she wiped it away.

Surely she couldn't just start crying in front of him just because a door had hit her! He must have thought she was a crybaby.

"Hey, it's all right. I'm sure it hurts like hell and I'm so sorry. Here, you should bend your head forward a bit so the blood doesn't go down your throat." Arlo's other hand came to rest soothingly on her back and gently pushed her forward so that her head hung slightly over.

The handkerchief was by now completely bled through and Arlo rummaged in his pocket for more. Immediately she missed his warm hand on her back, but as soon as he held the next tissue gently to her nose, he put it back and began rubbing it reassuringly. "I hope it stops bleeding on its own, or I'll have to have Dr. Xu brought here. We can't get you up the hill like this and the blood loss can get dangerous very quickly. Fuck, I’m so sorry Elenya." His warm voice was still drenched in concern and guilt and cautiously Elenya lifted her head slightly to look at him.

“Don’ wo’y A’lo.” She sounded terribly slurred, the Rs unrecognisable as such and the movement of her mouth hurt her nose, but Arlo had apologised four times by now and she felt sorry for him. Getting hit in the face with a door definitely hurt, but he hadn't done it on purpose. “You didn’ do it on pu’pose. I’m go’ing to be o’kay.”

"Still... I'm really sorry."

With a soft sigh, she ignored the fifth apology, concentrating instead on the warm hand that kept gently stroking her back, trying to distract her from the throbbing pain in her face.

~~~~~~

After 10 minutes, the bleeding finally stopped. By then she had bled through a whole pack of tissues and she could feel the loss of blood affecting her body. Her hands had begun to shake and she felt a little dizzy. Unconsciously, her upper body tilted towards Arlo, who had been rubbing her back all along. He immediately moved his hand to wrap it around her shoulder instead, pulling her sideways against his chest.

"Woah, hey, are you all right?" His worried gaze pierced through her and exhausted, Elenya let her head drop onto his shoulder.

"Jus’ a li’le dizzy..." Her eyes closed without prompting and the arm around her shoulder tightened.

"Damn, that must be the blood loss already. It's stopped by now, fortunately, but you've still lost a lot. We'll wait a moment to see if it gets better, otherwise I'll have to see if I can get something with sugar for you from somewhere." Arlo pulled her even closer to him until she was practically sitting on his lap, one leg behind her back and the other under hers and exhausted, she enjoyed his warm embrace. Everything felt a little fuzzy around her and his strong arms gave her some support.

For the next 5 minutes she let herself rest in Arlo's arms, but the woozy feeling in her head didn't get any better.

Maybe she shouldn't have stayed up all night either.

Arlo also seemed to notice that she wasn't feeling any better and worriedly his gaze bored into the back of her head.

"It's not getting better, is it?" His voice dripped with concern.

She shook her head slightly in the negative. Her whole head was throbbing with pain and when she opened her eyes, everything was spinning around her. She would have liked to just fall asleep in Arlo's arms.

"Crap, this is not good at all. What am I going to do with you? We really need to get you to Dr. Xu." His arms tightened around her. "Wait, maybe I still have..."

The hand around her waist disappeared and Arlo began to rummage in his pocket again. With a triumphant sound, he pulled out a bottle of rainbow lemonade.

At the last second she managed to stop herself from wrinkling her nose in disgust. That would have hurt a lot.

She hated this stuff. It was sour, minimally sweetened, and she couldn't understand how anyone could commit such a crime against lemonade. And Arlo probably wanted her to drink that.

"Here, I know you don't like it, but I'm worried you're going to pass out on me. You need to drink something." He tried to push the bottle into her hand, but her hands were shaking so badly that she could barely hold it.

"Sorry..." Exhausted, her eyes fell shut again and her hands fell back into her lap. Arlo was probably not at all wrong in his fear. The only thing keeping her awake just then was the fact that she wasn't going to let a little nosebleed get her down.

Surely her body would be able to handle that little bit of blood loss!

"Hey, nothing to apologise for. I'm the one who messed up. Come on, I'll help you drink." Gently his words swept over her head and with a bit of fumbling he managed to get the cork off the bottle without having to loosen the supporting arm around her back.

"Here, slowly..." Gently, he held the now open bottle to her lips and tilted it slightly. Reluctantly, she drank the lemonade, careful not to screw up her face.

This was really the most disgusting thing she had ever drunk.

But the sour drink actually helped to invigorate her body. As soon as the bottle was empty, Arlo set it aside and slung his left arm back around her waist and, supported by his strong arms, the world slowly stopped spinning.

Carefully, she lifted her head from his shoulder and was relieved to find that the trembling in her hands had subsided as well.

Hopefully, Arlo looked down at her.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes... Thank you." Gratefully, she looked up into his deep blue eyes, which gazed at her with relief.

"That's good. Do you think you can get up? The next DeeDee should be here soon, then we can take you to Dr. Xu."

"I think so. I'll just need your help." Her voice still sounded totally nasal and she wondered briefly if Arlo had even understood her, but she didn't need to worry about that.

"Of course. We'll take it real slow." Carefully, he disengaged from her and slid away a little so he could stand up undisturbed. Immediately she missed his warmth and just managed to stop herself from leaning in his direction.

Get a grip, Elenya. This is no time to be pining after Arlo.

Two large, calloused hands appeared in front of her face. Expectantly, Arlo looked down at her on the floor and carefully Elenya placed her still slightly trembling hands in his. In contrast to her ice-cold ones, they were wonderfully warm and enveloped her almost completely.

For a moment she just stared at her hands, how they melted perfectly into Arlo's, as if they were made for each other. She could feel the evidence of Arlo's hard work under her palms, all the calluses and long healed scars, but also how strong they were. Hands of a fighter and protector.

She had often found herself staring at his hands and wondering what her hands must feel like in his. And now she had the answer. Gently but firmly he held them and his warmth flowed from her hands to her heart. She never wanted to let go again.

"Ready?" Arlo's voice snapped her out of her dreamy thoughts and startled, she looked up at him, a slight blush on her cheeks.

Awkwardly, she brought her legs under her and then nodded. She had to get up at some point.

"Okay, here we go." He pulled lightly on her hands and she rose as slowly as she could, her legs shaking. Still, her circulation dropped for a moment, only to have all the blood rush to her head afterwards.

She became dizzy and her legs buckled under her.

Arlo caught her immediately and pulled her against his chest. Just before her nose collided with his shoulder, she was fortunately able to turn her head to the side and for a moment Arlo's arms under her armpits were the only thing keeping her upright.

"I've got you. You're all right."

Thank God he had such good reflexes. She could do without another acquaintance with the floor. But unfortunately, getting up had another consequence, and startled, she stepped away from Arlo as soon as her legs carried her again.

A new trickle of blood flowed from her nose and she didn't want to bleed all over his white jacket. It was enough that she was covered in blood.

"Oh no, not again." Concerned, Arlo held the next handkerchief gently to her nose. Where he had conjured it from, she could not say.

Fortunately, this time it was only a few drops and Arlo dropped his hand again in relief.

But guilt quickly filled his face as he worriedly examined her face and she wondered how bad she must look.

"Damn, I really did some damage. I'm so sorry, Elenya."

The upset look on his face tore at her heart and she tried to smile at him encouragingly, even though her whole face hurt as she did so.

"Do I look that bad?" She tried to say it as a joke, but her slurred pronunciation probably didn't bring it across well and his face contorted in even more anguish.

"God, I'm so sorry. At least let me try to wipe the blood away, okay? I'll be very careful." Before she could answer, Arlo disappeared in front of her and walked over to the sink that hung on the wall behind the Recovery Machine.

She heard the water running for a moment, then Arlo was back with a wet handkerchief.

"Hold still, please." His left hand came up to cradle her cheek and with his right hand he carefully wiped the blood from her face.

Hypnotised, Elenya stared at him. His face was very close to hers, she could feel his breath fanning her cheeks, his worried gaze firmly focused on her face. His touch was so gentle and tender that for a moment she could forget the throbbing pain in her face.

Engrossed, she studied his face. Slight laugh lines were visible at the corners of his eyes, his nose was slightly crooked, as if it too had taken a beating some time ago, and up close she was surprised to see that his deep blue eyes were streaked with bright flecks.

She had never noticed that before.

She couldn't take her eyes off him. Everything about this man was perfect to her, even the slightly protruding ears. It made him less perfect, and it was kind of cute.

She would have loved to trace his features with her fingers. Touch those soft-looking lips...

"There, that looks better. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for your jacket, though."

Arlo's voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she quickly shifted her gaze from his lips back to his eyes. Warm and apologetic, they looked back, his hand regrettably leaving her cheek.

Once his words had registered in her brain, she looked down at her jacket in confusion. A heavy throbbing in her nose told her that this was not a welcome movement, but she had to see for herself what he meant.

And indeed, a considerable amount of blood had spread over her yellow jacket, creating a grotesque contrast. It looked as if she had been in a slaughterhouse.

"Oh..."

How was she supposed to go out like that? What would people think?

"I'd say you just take the jacket off, but the sun is already setting and it's going to get cold very quickly. But how about I give you mine? I don't want you to be cold."

Before she could even respond, he was already taking off his jacket. A thin sweater was visible underneath, and now it was her turn to look at him worriedly.

"But... you'll get cold." She made no move to take the jacket held out to her.

"Don't worry about that. I don't get cold that easily. And you need it more than I do." He smiled softly at her and hesitantly she accepted.

She took off her own jacket and handed it to Arlo to take his in return. Carefully, without moving her head too much, she slipped it on and was immediately enveloped in comforting warmth. The jacket was much too big for her, of course, but felt wonderful.

Unfortunately, she couldn't detect Arlo's scent through her swollen nose, but the heavy, warm fabric still felt like a hug from him. An unconscious tension fell from her shoulders. Only now did she realise how cold she had been, her jacket not warm enough for her weakened body.

"Thank you..." Shyly, she looked up at him.

"You're welcome. Come on, I can hear the DeeDee already. Time to get you some painkillers and a diagnosis." Softly, almost tenderly, Arlo looked at her and shakily she put her hand in his, which he held out to her in an encouraging manner.

She let him lead her out of the research centre.

~~~~~~

The ride in the DeeDee was cold. While the cold air was a relief to her throbbing face, the rest of her body didn't like it at all. Shivering, she sat next to Arlo on the back seat, who didn't seem to be touched by the cold at all. Although it was she who was wearing his warm jacket.

Worried, he looked at her.

"Are you cold? Come here." He lifted his arm invitingly and she was only too happy to slide back into his arms. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, and exhausted, she leaned her head against his shoulder. The energy boost the rainbow lemonade had given her didn't last much longer, and she spent the 20 minutes it took to get to the clinic nestled against Arlo's side with her eyes closed.

Every jolt of the vehicle sent a new wave of pain through her nose and she was glad when they finally reached the top of the hill.

Wordlessly, she let Arlo help her out of the DeeDee and with a quick thank you to the driver, he led her to the clinic, a hand wrapped around her upper arm for support.

Curious, Dr. Xu looked up from his desk as they stepped through the door into the clinic, but his gaze immediately turned to concern when he saw her face. He quickly stepped around his desk and toward her.

"Oh my, what happened, Elenya? Have you been attacked?" The doctor looked worriedly at her nose.

Elenya still didn't know what it looked like and somehow didn't want to know, judging by the doctor's expression.

Arlo cleared his throat embarrassedly next to her.

"It was my fault. I, um, hit her face with a door." A slight blush graced his cheeks, and a new wave of guilt etched its way across his face.

Reassuringly, Elenya gently patted the hand still wrapped around her upper arm and nodded affirmatively at Dr. Xu, who looked at Arlo in confusion.

She wanted to say that it was an accident, but she didn't get around to it.

Dr. Xu immediately instructed her to sit on the hospital bed to the left of the entrance. Arlo helped her up and she gratefully leaned against him. The contrast of the cold air outside and the warmth in the clinic made her whole face throb and left her dizzy.

Arlo’s worried gaze bore through her, but she didn't have time to say reassuring words to him because Dr. Xu was already stepping up to the bedside.

"Okay, let me take a look. This looks really bad." Carefully he probed her nose, but even the slightest touch sent a sharp pain high up into her forehead and she jerked back with a hiss.

"I'm sorry, I know it hurts, but you have to bear with it for a moment. Can you do that?" The doctor looked at her apologetically and lowered his hands again.

"Yes, I think so." She really didn't want to, and you could hear it in her voice, but it wasn't as if she had a choice.

Before Dr. Xu could mess with her nose again, however, a large, warm hand suddenly slid into hers and, surprised, she looked at Arlo, who sat down next to her and gave her an encouraging look. Gratefully, she smiled back and squeezed his hand gently.

With a nod, she motioned for the doctor to continue. Clenching her eyes shut and holding Arlo's hand tightly, she let the procedure pass.

Fortunately, it didn't take long and as soon as the hands had left her nose, she let her head fall exhaustedly against Arlo's shoulder. Her face was throbbing, she was tired and she wanted to go home to her bed, just forgetting about the whole accident.

Arlo's hand gently detached from hers and instead wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side. Gratefully, she curled up against him and let out a soft, happy sigh. Even though it was technically Arlo's fault that she was in this position in the first place, he was the best part of the whole thing.

She'd never been so close to him for so long, and she couldn't imagine anything better. He radiated such warmth and security that she wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Of course, that wasn't possible, so she tried to soak up as much of his warmth as she could and burn the feeling into her brain so she could never forget it.

Dr. Xu gave her a moment to collect herself, but then didn't hold back with his diagnosis.

"I'm afraid your nose is broken, Elenya. Fortunately, it hasn't deformed and should heal easily, but it will be painful for a while."

A curse sounded from above her left and she looked up at Arlo in surprise. She had never heard the Captain curse like that before.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry Elenya. How can I ever make this up to you?" Eyes brimming with guilt, Arlo looked down at her and the sight almost hurt more than her broken nose.

With a sigh, she slid away from him a little and took the hand that slipped from her shoulder in hers.

"Arlo. As I told you before, this isn't your fault. It was an accident and there's nothing you need to make up for." She squeezed his hand gently and looked at him seriously.

Would that ever get through his thick head?

Judging by his still guilty look, probably not. She sighed again.

"Okay. How about you get me something warm, not bloodstained, to wear while Dr. Xu fixes my nose. Then you can take me home and make sure I don't get into any more accidents, how does that sound?" Talking was still not particularly pleasant on her face and used up a lot more energy than she had right now, but Arlo's mood lifted noticeably at the prospect of being able to do something helpful for her, and that was definitely worth it.

Still, she fell back against his shoulder, exhausted, and he hurried to put his arm around her shoulders again so she wouldn't fall off the bed.

Her head throbbed.

"Elenya!" Startled, Arlo held her upright.

"Exactly how much blood has she lost? Do I need to prepare a transfusion?" Dr. Xu's voice also dripped with concern and she quickly tried to look more alive again.

She's not going to need a blood transfusion for a little nosebleed!

Arlo took over answering. "Her nose had been bleeding for a good 10 minutes, and not just a little, but I don't think a transfusion is necessary. She was very faint for a moment, but I was able to pep her up with a rainbow lemonade for the trip up here. I think plenty of rest and something for the pain should be enough." Arlo's hand stroked her upper arm soothingly during his explanation, and gratefully she leaned into the gentle touch.

"Are you sure? I don't like the colour of her face at all." Concerned, the doctor stepped closer, and with some effort Elenya raised her head enough to face him.

"It's all right, Dr. Xu. I'm just a bit tired..." Exhausted, her head fell right back against Arlo's shoulder.

Okay, maybe a little more than tired, but she didn't want them to have to worry about her anymore.

"Hm... I think I might have something that will help you. Be right back." The doctor scurried to the cabinet behind his desk and after a brief clinking of glass, he returned to the bedside.

"Here, this is for the pain and this should help you get some energy back. And by tomorrow morning, your body should be able to make up for the lost blood." He held two vials in front of her.

She tried to reach for the first one, but her hands were shaking so much again that Arlo quickly stepped in and gently held the medicine to her lips, just as he had done with the rainbow lemonade.

Slightly embarrassed, she drank the two liquids and the effects quickly unfolded in her body.

The intense burning in her face diminished to a light throbbing and the trembling in her hands stopped completely. She almost felt human again, if it weren't for the unpleasant sensation of her swollen nose.

Finally she could sit again without Arlo's help.

"Thank you, Dr. Xu."

"No problem. That's what I'm here for. Now let's see what we can do about your nose." The doctor disappeared behind his desk again and was now rummaging around in the drawer behind it.

Elenya used the time to turn to Arlo.

"Do you think you could get me something to wear now? I don't want to keep depriving you of your jacket."

Even if it felt wonderful to wear it. But she would never say that out loud.

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you here alone if you still need my help." Still concerned, his blue eyes pierced her.

"Dr. Xu's medicine has worked wonders. I feel much better already. I can manage on my own for a moment, don't worry." She took off his jacket and held it out to him. Hesitantly, he accepted it with his free hand.

"I always worry about you, but okay. I'll be right back." With a quick squeeze of her upper arm, he stood up, leaving her speechless.

Had he really just said that? And then in such a tender tone, too?

Her heart skipped a beat.

Did he mean that he was always worried about all of Portia, or specifically about her? She knew that he did everything to ensure Portia's safety, admired him for it, but that just now sounded quite different, more personal.

God, this man was driving her crazy!

~~~~~~

Arlo came back through the door just as Dr. Xu was finished with her nose. Thoroughly cooled, two white strips of tape were now running over her nose to prevent it from becoming deformed after all, and thanks to an oil he had dripped into her nose, she was finally able to breathe a little more freely. According to the doctor, it should also prevent her nose from bleeding again.

"Hey, you look better." Arlo approached her with a gentle smile.

"I feel better too." Elenya smiled back. "Dr. Xu did a wonderful job. Thank you for that." Gratefully, she turned her smile towards the doctor, but he just waved it off.

"No need to thank me. I'm happy to help." Satisfied with his work, Dr. Xu took a step back from her. "For the next few days, it's best to cool your nose for about 15 minutes every two to three hours to help reduce the swelling. I'll give you some more painkillers to take with you for the next few days, as an injury like this can hurt for a few days, but your nose should heal without any problems." His look turned stern. "Avoid heavy physical work, though. A rapid pulse and high blood pressure can interfere with the healing process and make the swelling worse. Is that clear?"

With a sigh, Elenya nodded.

Looks like she'll have to make do with small commissions like necklaces, pouches and the like for the next few days.

"I..." Arlo started, a guilty look in his eyes again, but she interrupted him immediately.

"Nope. Not your fault, Arlo." She looked at him sternly, and with a surrendering sigh, the smile returned to his face.

"Okay... I brought you something, by the way. I was hoping Sam might have something for you to wear, but it looks like she decided to wash all her clothes today of all days. So I brought you a sweater from me. With your jacket underneath, you shouldn't be cold anymore." To underline his words, he held out a grey bundle to her.

Gratefully, she reached for it. The fabric was very soft under her fingers and she would have liked to bury her face in it and inhale Arlo's scent, but she just managed to stop herself.

That would have been a bit too embarrassing.

With his help, she first put on her blood-covered jacket, shortly wondering if the stains would ever come out, and then Arlo's warm sweater. Instantly she was comfortably warm and Arlo's smell rose lightly into her battered nose, warming her from the inside.

His scent alone made her feel safe and protected, comforted her. A testament to her feelings toward him.

"Warm enough?" Chuckling lightly, Arlo looked at her.

"Yes, thank you..." Suddenly shy, she hid her face slightly in the oversized sweater, realising she had been smiling stupidly to herself.

Damn it, get a grip.

Dr. Xu just shook his head at the sight of the two of them and instead decided to prepare a bag of painkillers for Elenya to take with her.

He gave it to her with a final reminder not to do anything strenuous and Elenya left the clinic together with Arlo.

~~~~~~

Arlo took her home on Spacer. Pressed close to his chest, his legs pressed against hers, she sat in the saddle in front of him, enjoying his closeness. His left arm was wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her securely, and with the other he led Spacer towards her workshop.

Thanks to his sweater and enveloped by his body heat, she was not cold at all and could have stayed like this forever. Unfortunately, they had to arrive at some point and she let Arlo help her off the horse as soon as they arrived at her garden gate.

She was already preparing to say goodbye when he caught her off guard with his question.

"Um... can I maybe come inside for a minute?" He sheepishly looked down at her, and surprised, she agreed.

She wouldn't dream of turning down more time with him.

Arlo accompanied her into her house, but stopped just behind the door. Embarrassed, he had his left hand on the back of his neck, the other in his jacket pocket, and looked at her insecurely with slightly flushed cheeks.

"I... um... wanted to ask you something... or, well..." His eyes darted nervously from side to side, and Elenya looked at him in surprise.

She had never seen the normally confident captain so nervous. What could he possibly want to ask her?

He set to speak once more, but his mouth fell shut again without having said anything, the blush on his face deepening.

Her heart swelled with tenderness for the new Arlo who was revealing himself before her. It was nice to see that the usually composed man could show weakness, and she felt honoured that he did so in front of her.

Encouragingly, she smiled at him.

"Damn, just come out with it, Arlo," he muttered to himself and her curiosity was piqued even more.

He took a deep breath and then pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket. He held his hand out to her and she looked curiously at his palm. And what she saw there took her breath away.

Her heart began to race.

In Arlo's hand was a beautiful heart knot.

"I know this is probably the most inopportune moment after I broke your nose, but this heart knot has been sitting on my bedside table for several weeks now and I've been avoiding approaching you with it. But I can't put it off any longer. Would you accept my heart knot?" Nervously and hopefully, he looked down at her, but she couldn't answer him.

Her brain was still overwhelmed with the fact that Arlo was offering her a heart knot. Her, the builder who stumbled into his little town three quarters of a year ago and had since been madly chasing through the streets, fighting talking rats and drastically reducing Portia's tree population.

And he wanted to date her?

Stunned, she still stared at his hand. She could hardly believe her luck. Over the past few weeks, they had spent time together outside of work, having dinner at Django's or him dropping by her workshop to engage her in light conversation. Her slight crush on him continued to grow and develop into deeper feelings, but she had not dared to hope that he would reciprocate them.

"Elenya?" Arlo's uncertain and sad voice finally snapped her out of her thoughts, and she was startled to realise that she hadn't answered him at all.

She inwardly slapped herself. Here he was, mustering up the courage to ask her such a difficult question, and she just stared at him for minutes.

Overjoyed, she finally turned her gaze to his face.

"Oh God, yes, Arlo! Yes, yes, yes! Nothing would make me happier!" Carefully, she took the soft heart knot from his hand, placed it behind her on her coffee table, and then fell around his neck, laughing happily, careful not to bump into him with her nose.

Startled, Arlo caught her, but then pressed her firmly against his chest.

"Really?" Hopeful and incredulous, he looked at her and she nodded.

"Yes, really." Now a deep blush settled on her cheeks. "You, um, have been the highlight of my day for a long time now when I've got to see you." Embarrassed, she averted her gaze and took a step back.

"Good to know it's not just me." Happy and satisfied, Arlo grinned at her and she couldn't help it, she grinned back.

For a moment they just looked into each other's eyes, happy with the outcome of the evening. Then came the question that would make the evening even more special.

"Can I kiss you?" Longingly, Arlo looked at her.

"Oh God, yes, please."

Far too often she had imagined what it would be like when he kissed her, and finally her dream was coming true!

Eyes shining, Arlo's left hand went gently to her waist to pull her closer, and his right hand rose to cup her cheek tenderly. Happily, she snuggled into the soft touch and let her eyes fall closed.

Carefully, he tilted her head up, and then his wonderful soft lips were finally on hers. A pleasant shiver ran down her spine and with a happy sigh she returned the tender kiss.

No matter how many times she had imagined this moment, nothing could compare to the real thing. The kiss wasn't perfect, but as far as first kisses went, it came close.

Arlo kissed her gently, carefully and so tenderly that she could no longer doubt his feelings. His right thumb caressed her cheek, and never before had anyone kissed her with such feeling.

She was in heaven.

Unfortunately, the kiss just didn't last as long as she would have liked. When she tried to deepen the kiss, she bumped her nose against his and with a startled hiss, she backed away from him.

"Ouch..." Pain shot up from her nose to her forehead and she reflexively reached for her nose to hold the aching spot. Which, of course, caused even more pain.

Fuck.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry. Are you alright? I hope it doesn't start bleeding again. Let me take a look, please." Startled and concerned, Arlo gently pulled her hand away and examined her nose.

"It's okay, Arlo. It wasn't your fault. The pain is already subsiding." Indeed, the pain quickly faded back to the dull throbbing from before, and this one she could well ignore. That didn't seem to appease him, though, and now it was up to her to gently cup his cheek and lift his head so he was looking into her eyes instead of worriedly at her nose.

"Really. It's all right. And it was all worth it. The kiss was wonderful." Gently, she smiled at him.

A brief, satisfied smile settled on his lips at her words, but was quickly replaced by a guilty frown.

"It really was. But still... You're in pain because of me, and I can't forgive myself for that. Why aren't you mad at me?" Frustrated, he looked at her.

"Because there's nothing to be mad at." Gently, she smoothed out the furrow between his eyes.

"And besides that, maybe this will teach you to open doors like a normal person in the future, instead of kicking them open." Teasingly, she grinned at him, finally managing to get a startled laugh out of him.

"Maybe you're right. But I'm afraid that's going to be very hard for me. It's just so much more fun this way." Still laughing, he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her tightly against his chest, careful not to let her nose bump into him again.

Happily, she snuggled into his arms, a little sad that she couldn't bury her nose in his neck, and for a moment they just stood there, enjoying each other's closeness.

"You are just amazing, sweetheart. I don't deserve you," Arlo whispered into her ear, and her heart skipped a beat at the endearment.

She felt her cheeks grow warm and sheepishly she detached herself from him a bit to be able to look at him. His warm gaze was waiting for her and her blush deepened.

God, this man was going to kill her one day.

"What… did you just call me?" she asked. Disbelief in her voice.

"Sweetheart. Because that's what you are. My sweet, strong little builder with a big, kind heart." Affectionately, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and bright red, Elenya hid her face back in his chest.

Oh God, now he was also calling her "His." Where did these pet names suddenly come from? Would he always call her that from now on? She wouldn't survive that!

Elenya's heart was racing in her chest and she didn't know how to react. How was she supposed to respond to such sweet words?

"Arlo..." she choked out, but that was all her overwhelmed brain could come up with. She knew the eight letters she wanted to say to him, but this was definitely too soon. They had just shared their first kiss, so the L-word was definitely out of place. Even if it was true.

Because she did love this strong, selfless man with a need to help everyone. There was no doubt about that.

"Shhh, let me just hold you." Arlo pulled her a little closer and she let him without resistance. His strong arms and warm chest under her felt so good that she would have loved to melt into him. There was no place she felt safer, even if he broke her nose.

#bad things happen bingo #bad things happen bingo: bloody nose #my time at portia #mtap #mtap arlo #my time at portia arlo #mtap builder #mtap female builder #mtap builder elenya #arlo my love #blood #broken nose

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coffeewritesfiction · 6 months

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I can't sleep so let's talk about DJ Sunshine. Follow me under the cut for dead dove galore!

So Sunshine's main fic is called Amoricide. I've written others with her but this is the primary one. Amoricide is a word I made up - a fictional term for the fictional act of murdering your soulmate. Amoricide (the fic) is a dark soulmate mark au. As the introduction says:

Every culture, dead or alive, had a myth or two about the marks. It was more universal than floods, or world trees, or trickster animals. They said every human had a mark that matched another’s. The matching marks identified them as carved from the same rock, born from the same spirit, whatever metaphor for the soul you wanted to use. They belonged together and would always find each other.

A cute myth. But just a myth. In the safety of modern reality, billions of humans went their whole lives never meeting their soulmate. They married, had children, died, without it. And the ones who did meet their matching mark would soon find there really was no love at first sight. Pushed into marriage by society, unable to divorce because of the old beliefs about destiny, these people who came to hate each other would find only one solution left…

For those unfamiliar with Dead by Daylight, it's a slasher horror inspired video game. The premise of the game is that the Survivors and Killers are both trapped by an eldritch creature called the Entity, and forced to play a deadly game over and over, the pain of the Survivors feeding the Entity. The fandom expanded on the lore a lot, in true fandom ways, which is what I built the fic on.

In Amoricide, Jill Cortez, a Survivor, finds herself targeted by a particular Killer, a fallen kpop idol, the Trickster aka Hak Ji-Woon, who seems to hate her for no apparent reason. This constant, brutal murder she's put through isolates her from the other Survivors, and she can't understand why he's doing it. In truth, her constantly bleeding soulmate mark is a match to his own, and he isn't happy about it.

What nobody knows about Jill is that she has a double life. She's set up a radio station in the Fog Realm (using the knowledge she gained back on Earth to do so) and moonlights on air as DJ Sunshine. Trickster, a bit music starved since arriving in this place, finds a kindred spirit with her, and to his annoyance, realizes he wants a woman he's never met.

It can only end badly when the two find out the truth.

Yeah, this idea is awesome, right?

The problem is, there's not much of a readership for stories like this in the dbd fandom. 90% of dbd fics are reader pov. It's like that for most newer fandoms nowadays. So while I have a few friends that would love to read more, and I probably will finish it, I'm wanting to take what I've got and make it into something original.

The problem is I've got no idea how to take away the DBD elements. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ They're pretty critical to the plot. Which means I either need to translate the elements into original ones (without getting sued for copyright infringement in the process) or just come up with a whole new plot.

I normally wouldn't bother but I really do feel there's an audience for this. I'm not sure where that audience is (probably TikTok xP) but it's out there. And I just. I love Sunshine. I'd write a whole series of books about her if I could. She makes my heart happy.

So, that's what that is. Tagging the people who interacted with that one post so y'all can see this

EDIT: If anyone is curious about the fic still, here is the link to chapter 1 on ao2

@acertainmoshke @your-local-tall-asshole @k-v-briarwood @theimperiumchronicles @slenders1ckn3ss

#from coffee

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icybreaths · 1 year

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/Happy vday, mun! curious to know why you ship jewel with grimmjow. What's the story there?

|| Asks || @justakon ||

💙Happy Valentines Day to you too! 'u'💙

WHEW OKAY GRIMMJE HOURS LET'S GO!

//It’s long and I’m sorry. 8(

-- First, background context I think will be useful.

From Jewel’s feral scrapping and political stirring in her Rukongai days, to gaining her zanpakuto in Shino and entering the Eleventh division, violence has always been a part of her life.

Jewel’s zanpakuto spirit, Hyouhakyoku, pushes her to her limit on the daily to simply exist as she does. Hyou is a relentless, biting energy that refuses to accept her wielder unless she dances to the same, wild beat at all times. As one can imagine, such a state of being is taxing to reign in when she doesn’t want to be in that state all the time but her mind is – nor is it socially acceptable.

Anger, bared teeth, bleeding, adrenaline, and war are all wound into her reflection – that beast has always been there and it’s an integral part of her soul’s foundation.

On the other side of that coin, we have a soul who’s chasing the freedom of the Antarctic winds – a woman who desires a disconnection from all things that threaten to tie her down. She craves to explore the earth pole to pole in her solitude, yet is chained to her duties in her division and the Gotei.

She’s bound to rules, responsibilities, judgment, and her past in her current position. She’s made promises about controlling and finessing her zanpakuto and she’s slow to realize that she cannot keep her word, and it’s enraging, and it’s Tuesday morning and she has another day of work to tackle.

Do your job. Get your shit together. Why are you angry all the time? Wanna hang out sometime? What Lieutenant can’t control her own blade? You doesn’t belong here. Let’s fight. I need a medic. You don’t know what sparring is do you?

She’s content as a quaking glacier on the verge of setting off a tsunami.

-- In relationships.

Jewel had a couple of relationships under her belt before meeting Grimmjow.

Her first partner, Kakós (v: TBTP), was a belligerent, seductively veiled monster. He reeled her in early into her entrance of the Eleventh. He spoke her combative language and knew exactly what to say and do to make her shake.

Unhealed trauma ate at him for years prior to meeting her, and her fresh face was the perfect thing to vent on. She accepted it at first, because violence was the way of the game in the Eleventh, right? He imprinted on her that it was the same way in love, and especially in the Eleventh.

She couldn’t take his push and pull lightning storm for too long. By the end of the arc, they broke up through a fight where she severed his arm (a symbol that he would never lay a hand on her again. It was his last fleshy arm -- he only had his metal one now.)

Her second partner, Tetsuji (v: frostbitten soul), was a recent transfer from another division. He was charismatic, playful, and flirty with her. Jewel, being traumatized from Kakos, was incredibly guarded around him.

Any sort of romantic or sexual intention towards her set off her alarm bells, and even though Tetsu was friendly, she could read the undertones, and she wasn’t having it. She shot him down multiple times for any romantic outings, though she eventually came around to doing something with him as friends.

Jewel found that she enjoyed hanging out with him so she did it more often. They shared similar interests in nature, art, and weaponry and a friendship was surely built over a brief time.

Something that made her question her feelings for him was how he treated others around them. He was genuinely a good person and got along with others for the most part. He was sweet and patient with her and handled her with a lightness she had never really been shown before. Tetsuji didn’t wear a mask like Kakós did; nothing about him was a facade.

For the first time, she thought, ‘Could I love someone like him? Could I have a love like that? Am I made for that?’ and decided to take the plunge. Of course he said yes. It felt right, too. One would think they were perfect for each other with the way they talked to and lit each other up.

They clashed in a few areas. Jewel’s teetering control with Hyouhakyoku made her body inhumanly cold (and frostbitten at times) to engage with sexually and it caused frustrations for both of them and embarrassment for her.

By the middle of this arc, her taste for danger and violence proved to be too much for him. She was too reckless and goading for fights during this time. Masochistic and physically abusive, Jewel subconsciously expected Tetsuji to flip on her like Kakós had and projected her unhealed trauma onto him. Tetsuji caught on to that and blew up at her over it. He was hurt over the notion that she believed he was hiding his true self from her and trying to 'poke holes in his mask' with violence.

She was just too unhinged and wild for Tetsuji to handle and they broke up over an argument.

It took Jewel some time to come to terms with the fact that she was in the wrong in that situation and tried to get Tetsuji back but he would not have her. It was a huge wake-up call to Jewel that she was.. not okay. She wasn’t okay in so many ways and it crashed upon her in an emotional wave. Had she ever been well?

She was alone again. She didn’t know how to ask for help. She isolated herself, left with a dark sea of questions only she allowed herself to carefully navigate. It was a deeply reflective time for her, and a transformative one.

-- Grimmjow.

Jewel met him during her Main Timeline arc (v: frostbitten soul), near the end of it.

In Hueco Mundo, where it’s do or die, Jewel is in an environment where she is at home with her instincts. Her zanpakuto has room to breathe and assume its more natural state. Here, she felt a sense of freedom to let loose and be herself. The desert wasn’t her home in the same way a frozen desert was, but she felt like she could fit in to a place of lawlessness. Survival. It’s what she did best.

He caught her attention during a hunt. It wasn’t the first time Jewel had seen wild hollows be torn apart but the way he moved caught her attention and she found herself studying him.

An electric presence. Swift. Unforgiving. Jugulars wound through a clawed hand and a bloody smile. A buffet for one.

She wondered then if she would have been another morsel on the side if she danced with that. A foolish part of her wanted to know but a smarter part knew better than to try.

He noticed her but it wasn’t a death match on sight. Jewel was at a point where she did not attack anyone who did not attack her first – which was odd to him, that a Shinigami would see him and not immediately think ‘oh shit evil gotta do summin about that--’ It was also weird that she was seemingly by herself (she’s got an arrancar shaped taxi hiding away but that’s not important here asdf).

There’s an inherent curiosity there and questions that go unanswered but they banter nonetheless, and she eventually gets the opportunity to show off her own skills in front of him.

Jewel doesn’t behave like a typical Shinigami. Enemies aren’t enemies because of how they look nor does she judge their actions unless they affect her personally. Everyone is on a neutral slate and are defined by their actions through her eyes. Once crossed, she’s zero to sixty with her violence, and has a rather animalistic way of fighting (like he is).

From the outside, she appears every inch dangerous and like a walking environment altering weapon. She's not soft. She doesn’t pretend to be something she’s not.

Vulnerability is off the table at the beginning but they’re drawn to each other’s wild nature. Jewel sees a kindred spirit in Grimmjow’s need to keep himself at the top of the food chain, his rebelliousness to the professional system he was placed in, and need for autonomy. Freedom.

They both carry a demanding presence. There’s no question in their minds that the other is dangerous, but they retain a curious fascination with each other despite that. The striving for power courses through both of them and to watch the other fight is stimulating, coupled with snarky shots at the other amid it all (how fun.) It goes unspoken that if one crossed a boundary that it would be a bloodbath for the both of them. It’s a quiet level of respect.

They crave passion, in different yet reflective ways. Grimmjow, a harbinger of Destruction, seeks to crumble foundations in his outer world and build a throne for himself out of the rubble; a lone king in the moonlit darkness. Jewel, a harbinger of Ice Ages, who carries potentially world altering power, wields herself as a Creator as she crumbles foundations within herself to sculpt herself into something new, finessed; the queen of her own power.

When Creator and Destroyer meet there’s an unlimited potential for change – one way being the view that shinigami and arrancar don’t have to be ‘natural enemies’.

They’re both wanderers, hunters, and killers who come to read each other’s body language well. It's familiar, yet entirely foreign. They come from different worlds.

They don’t need each other, nor demand anything from each other. There is no tying the other down they can come and go as they please. There's that sense of freedom right there. Both would be just as fine on their own, but I think they would find a sense of home in each other that says, ‘Oh… someone that reminds me of me,’ and I think it could be a deeply platonic thing or something that could become romantic. It would be a slow burn for both of them, but they spark a flame in each other’s soul regardless of the outcome.

I think I could mayhaps type more but

I'll share some headcanons about them here if you’re interested, just a bunch of other little reasons why I love Jewel and Grimmjow: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Thank you for sending this, @justakon ! c:

#justakon #[ asks ]#grimmje.txt #❆ [ supernova sunrise | grimmje ]#//perfect ask to receive today :')

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laurent-ofvere · 1 year

Note

yes I am the anon from last time !!! PLS discuss more of that. anything really? i am most interested in how it all ends in ur head x thank u

okay well I answered a bunch of asks on this verse back when I first wrote it so feel free to look through those, I cover a lot of thoughts and scenarios and kinks and such BUT one thing I mentioned but wanna reemphasize is kastor!! kastor is a ton of fun of this, I just love the idea of him knowing who laurent is and tormenting him with it, holding it over laurents head without even needing to say it bc he knows laurent gets it, with this info laurent belongs to him too 👅

as for how it ends, let me make this clear: this fic is not happy, this fic is not lovey, this fic is not about forgiveness lol sorry but miss me with that. we got it in the books and its great but NOT THE VIBE HERE. I got some comments about how they find each other in every world and how laurent will come to slowly learn damen here like he did in the reverse and no! NO! this verse is about VENGEANCE AND BLOOD AND PORN 🔪

SO here's the thing - laurents gotta die lmao. a key element in the books (and a big revelation/turning point moment for laurent) was the understanding that simply put, laurent cant beat damen. damen is the better fighter and thats that. there was a line in canon where damen tells laurent something about how laurent would have come for him and damen would have killed him and thats how it would have been between them, SOMETHING LIKE THAT and I think thats pretty central to this fic. sure he could have gone the poison route or something but 1. no and 2. laurent and I wanted VIOLENCE!! so while the fic is technically open ended, I wanted laurent to achieve his goal and kill damen. like in canon, I dont believe laurent would succeed in this victoriously. like damen said, laurent would show up with the intention of killing him and he would have died himself. so! THEY BOTH DIE 🥳 bc the realism is that he cant kill damen and get away with it, but nobody said anything about not getting away with it :')

a side note that I'll put here: I dont think laurent went into this with the surety that he wouldn't survive, but I do think he went into it with the understanding that its a possibility, and he was still willing to do it. like I said in the previous ask, vengeance is laurents #1 goal and he would achieve it no matter the cost, even if it means his own life.

I saw the ending scene as VERY gone girl esque. laurent has picked up that damens inhibitions are low during sex, especially towards the end + I also just find the idea of laurent slicing damens throat while theyre fucking super hot, especially if he continues to ride him while theyre covered in blood. I am absolutely certain that damen would fight back which is why the whole thing is a GIGANTIC mess, and while he succeeds in killing laurent, his attacker, he ultimately doesn't survive it himself. and thats really how I see it ending, laurent bleeding out and rolling off of damen's body with a dagger falling out of his hand and a smile on his face 😎

#asks #role reversal au #im as dramatic as laurent #if you dont like when the author imposes their own thoughts on a story and goes into whats not in the text #run from this post lol #I HOPE THIS ENDING SUITS YOU

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morethanonepage · 2 years

Text

@youandthemountains tagged me in a “talk about five favorite fics you've written” meme, so here we go, in descending order for the ~suspense of it all. also i’m tagging @aimmyarrowshigh , @jessicamiriamdrew, @lotus0kid, @whatever-you-can-give-me and anyone else who wants to do this meme, it’s fun, if more time consuming than expected.

also this is just going to be AO3 era stuff -- some of my peter/claude from heroes fic remains very close to my heart but i cannot and will not go and find it to link to ATM. i’m perfectly happy to see it disappear w/ the rest of LJ fandom.

5. Proprioception

this is the most popular fic i’ve ever written (2375 kudos and counting) so i feel like it HAS to be on this list by default, but i’m not really that fond of it. the gimmick was, clint and phil’s relationship through the years and through various people’s eyes (until the end, where it’s through phil and then clint’s eyes). as a writer i’m proud of my attempt to write the POV of characters i never would’ve written otherwise, and people seemed to like how i portrayed them, so that was good to know. i think the best chapter by far is the natasha one -- the others are a little bit hokey w not my fav dialogue (but like, given mcu dialogue in canon....). but even though it’s not my favorite or my best writing i do appreciate that the fandom enjoyed something i actually did something new and (to me) interesting with -- the POV switching and like, dramatic irony of who knows what about whom (esp in pepper’s chapter). plus look i eventually came to really hate tony stark as a character but both* times i’ve written him (see #4 as well) i think i was very fair and i think no one would’ve guessed i kind of found him very annoying in all the avengers movies (i liked him better in his own movies/thought he was better balanced w pepper and rhodey around).

representative passage:

Her nose has stopped bleeding. She removes the handkerchief that's been keeping her from...she's not sure what, really, it's not like her clothes aren't bloodstained and ruined already. She hands it over. Is she supposed to be expressing gratitude? Blue eyes are watching her warily, but she's past worrying about making an effort.

"It looks okay now," he says, and he's a terrible, terrible liar, but at least he didn't say it wasn't broken, and at least he hasn't apologized for it. He fiddles with the ruined white cloth for a while, twisting it between his fingers, and glances, just once, toward the man it belongs to. The man in the suit, whose pacing is probably wearing very neat tracks into the filthy hotel room carpet while he makes clipped, deliberate statements into his cell phone.

He is a much better liar.

*just remembered i’ve actually written him three times but the other was a v short rhodey/tony thing that’s not really worth talking about.

4. The Ice Is Getting Thinner

honestly i’m going to say this is the best clintcoulson fic i ever wrote. there’s a lot of moral ambiguity to it and (not to toot my own horn lmfao) a lot of just plain ambiguity to parts of the plot (i take a twisted amount of pleasure in my refusal to stating things directly sometimes), to the point that a few of the bookmark notes/comments mentioned that they had to read it twice to figure out exactly what was going on.

there are parts i still cringe at -- i was again very complementary to tony stark in his portrayal here but i think the dialogue i wrote for him was. not great. but overall i think it’s a fic that portrays a complicated long term relationship w ups and downs and breakups and makeups and secrets and lies and love and just -- the DRAMA of it all. also i think the structure of the thing -- parts of it are moving backwards and parts of it are moving forwards chronologically -- was to me very clever. like you’re getting the backstory of the thing and how it relates to the current narrative, until they meet up. very the last five years, though i’m not sure if i’d seen that before i wrote it.

and phil is a little darker/more morally grey than i usually wrote him/he was usually written by the fandom, which was also fun for me. it’s also a fic that’s about redemption and forgiveness and like...self forgiveness and making up for bad things you’ve done and also how SHIELD was/is pretty sketch at its core so even the well-meaning people within it are a little more complicated than all that. and there’s some good natasha stuff i think -- and some great like friendship stuff between clint, phil, and natasha that i wish i had explored more when i wrote this ship. i always found the ‘natasha just stands around shaking her head at the stupid boys who can’t get it together’ portrayal that showed up in fic a lot really annoying but i was so afraid of falling into that myself that i didn’t really write her a lot. but that’s a shame bc the potential for her to have a friendship with both phil AND clint was really great, even though we didn’t get much of it in canon.

representative passage:

Phil thought about it. Thought, later, that it might have been the closest he ever got to telling him.

But when Clint got off the plane, he draped one arm around Phil's shoulders, and the other around Natasha's. He was sunburned, smelled of salt and the sea and things Phil would never have associated with Clint, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was a reminder that everything he'd once known about Clint wasn't everything he'd ever be.

"My two favorite people in the world," Clint mumbled, voice weak from disuse. He kissed Phil's cheek, then ducked to kiss Natasha's, putting him slightly off balance. Phil wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him and Clint beamed, his side warm and jostling against Phil's. "Man, am I glad to be home."

Phil didn't tell him.

He began to understand that he never would.

3. a strong enough foundation

[obviously the title of this fic is inspired by the hamilton song “Dear Theodosia” (the Hamilton Mixtape version is the one i see as THEE shara bey dameron song) but i also pulled from the ~feels that come from ben folds’ “still fighting it”]

okay WELL this is purely a sentimental favorite. the travelogue fic. it’s one of the few gen fics i’ve ever written. and it’s a story that is incredibly personal to me, which requires a bit of backstory to explain:

basically up until she passed way, one of my aunts in Mexico was really devoted to taking me to like, important cultural places in Mexico whenever i went to visit her. so amongst other things, back when i was in middle school (so early 2000s i think?) we took a trip to Chiapas, which is the southernmost state in the Mexican republic that borders on Guatemala; it’s very rainforest/jungle heavy, lots of mayan pyramids just like. plopped down in the middle of a bunch of trees and vines and monkeys etc. it’s also very humid and green and there’s beautiful rivers and we slept in a little wooden hut with no electricity or a/c or anything, just a roof and a floor mosquito netting penning the space in/keeping us from getting malaria or w/e.

it was an amazing experience that really affected me and that i still think about a lot -- sadly, i went there before i had a good digital camera, so while i took a lot of pictures they were all on film and were not as good at capturing just how beautiful everything was. a part of me wants to go back someday, but i haven’t yet, so it still very much exists in my memory alone right now.

anyway! this fic is about Yavin IV and Poe returning to it to basically spend some time with his father and it’s about that family connection, too, but mostly for me it was about -- coming up with Yavin IV headcanons, which was a delight. there’s a lot about the mayan ruins (again, i’ve never been to Guatemala but i was in the jungles of Chiapas, which are very close, and the mayan empire in mexico vs the mayan empire in guatemala are not that different) which comes from my experience in the mayan ruins, and a lot about the town i kind of imagined as existing ties into my experiences in small mexican towns. there’s a lot about the market culture there, which was based on primarily the market in my mom’s hometown. one of the funniest/most personal bits for me was where poe and his dad go to a stand that sells fruit juices:

He makes it to Val’s before his father does and settles onto one of the red plasto stools in front of the counter. Makes idle conversation with New Val, who was a year ahead of him in school and was well known, even then, as the artistic sort. This seems to have born out: her stall is adorned with meticulously realized depictions of Massassi warriors and anthropomorphized trees sharing plasto-bubble drinks with a variety of alien races and such distinguished company as a young Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker in a well-intentioned approximation of Jedi robes.

this is a reference to a lot of food stalls in mexican markets, which often have drawings of all sorts of IP they definitely don’t have the rights to, like a lot of disney characters and so on. it’s also referencing the tradition of serving aguas frescas in plastic bags w a straw poking out, which is just a nice bit of nostalgia for me.

i did feel a little -- something -- about this fic being based so much on my experience as a mexican and thus very little on like, actual guatemala, which i could not really speak to, though i did include some references to actual guatemalan alcoholic drinks at least?

this isn’t a perfect fic -- every time i have to write OCs i feel like i’m floundering a bit, and this fic didn’t really have a plot so when it came time to end it i just --didn’t really know how to wrap it up. but in general it’s such a personal fic to me that i will always have a great deal of love for it.

representative passage:

“You’re so much like your mom.” That’s nothing he hasn’t heard before, but his dad keeps going. “I mean, you look like her, fly like her. When you’re pissed, you do this thing, with your jaw…” he reaches over to tap lightly at Poe’s chin; Poe ducks his head, a little embarrassed that his father’s noticed it. “Pure Shara Bey. And you’re smart, so damn smart, always were, and that’s all her. Sure as hell didn’t get it from me.” Kes father chuckles, shaking his head.

“Dad—"

“Thing is, that makes me forget, sometimes, how much you’re like me, too."

Poe turns to look at him — Kes is watching him, and his expression is worried, but more sad than anything.

“That’s not a bad thing,” he says, too quickly, but he means it.

(oh also lest i forget: the running thing about poe looking so much like his mom is there because a) it’s true, canonically but also b) when i was little but also now, whenever i’d visit mexico i’d hear over and over how much i look like my dad/my dad’s side of the family. so again this was a very self inserty fic in a way i’m usually embarrassed to admit and i guess am still kind of embarrassed to admit, but w/e, i’m doing this meme, might as well talk about it.)

2. Washington Square

WELL what can i SAY about this and its 50352 words? it’s the first NaNoWriMo thing i ever completed, and the only one i’ve ever actually posted. it genuinely did have a plot (which obviously i took from the movie it’s based on, so yknow). it’s an AU premise i love (i’m a sucker for Famous Person/Normie things), it’s explicitly queer in a way that actually affects the plot. i think a lot of fusion AUs like this one can be a bit find and replace character names w the same dialogue and exact same plot, so i took care not to do that. first of all the shifting of the setting -- from England to the US -- shifted the dynamic a lot, and at least partly exploring the issue of Finn’s sexuality and him being outed also felt like a much more modern and to me interesting take. (in fact if/when notting hill gets its eventual reboot/remake, it would make so much more sense for it to be a queer story).

i also feel like i did some subtle character stuff that maybe didn’t always pay off but that i was proud of: both poe and finn are kind of a mess in it, poe bc he’s been through a bunch of failed relationships (partly bc he puts his partners on a pedestal but is also a deeply moral person so if they show a moment of moral greyness he doesn’t react well) and finn bc well he’s bi and black and young and only just starting to make it in ~hollywood~ and he’s got a lot of pressure on him to be perfect on every level. and i thought that was a fitting adaptation of his FO backstory (i mention it in one of the last author’s notes, but the sunglasses he pointedly takes on and off are meant to call back to Finn’s stormtrooper helmet, while also being based on how julia roberts’ character wears sunglasses in the first scene w hugh grant in that movie).

i was also thrilled to be able to write so much of Black Squadron in as poe’s awesome/amazing/fun friends, using them to recreate on of the best parts of notting hill to me, ie, the fact that hugh grant has a wide circle of friends that chime in about his life and relationships etc. i’m not the biggest fan of rey but i also felt like i had to include her (and made her much nicer than her notting hill counterpart, obviously). and this was like, right amidst the small poe/c’ai era, so of course i had to include c’ai in there as the also-ran that would’ve been great for poe if he wasn’t so hung up on finn.

also, again, look: i wrote kyle ron in this and yes he WAS a bad roommate but i didn’t write him as mustache twirling evil/stupid AF, which is more than most reylo authors who write poe into their fics ever give me. so i deserve extra points for that.

there’s really only two points i’m kind of eh about for this fic: first, bc i didn’t think nude photos/video alone would be enough of a career jeopardizing event as it is in notting hill, i added a plot point where it was an m/m encounter, AND an element of dubious consent. this is the kind of thing that i think writers in general should tread lightly on/really be sure is necessary when they’re including it as a plot point. i’m not sure i would include it if i were writing it today, but when i was writing the fic we were in the midst of one of the earliest #MeToo pushes, PLUS i didn’t want to minimize the potential vulnerability Finn would have, as an actor and a black man and someone who came out of the foster system and wouldn’t’ve had that many people in his corner. so i tried to take it seriously and not be flippant about it, BUT i am still uncertain if i did a good enough job dealing w whether or not (or how much) finn saw it all as a traumatic experience.

the second thing i’m pretty uncertain about is the ending. i love the movie but even i find the ending a little unearned -- hugh grant’s character ends up being the one to apologize and basically beg for julie roberts’ to give the relationship another try, and her apology earlier on doesn’t feel like quite enough, to me. and so in my version i tried to...idk, given that the fight they have is a lot more tied to the sexuality issues, and finn is very early in his career and thus way more vulnerable, ultimately, than anna scott in the original, sets up a weird dynamic that a lot of commenters got caught up on: it’s funny though bc the two most upset comments i got about it were on opposite sides. One thought that Poe had been too much of a jerk in their fight and didn’t do a good enough job of apologizing at the end, while the other thought that Finn was too much of a jerk and Poe deserved better. so idk, maybe it did hit the happy medium after all.

(another thought poe saying “i love you” at the end was not built up to enough in the fic itself -- i disagree, imo poe was very obviously falling in love w finn from very early on, but since it was his POV he was trying to keep himself from admitting it until the very end).

representative passage:

Finn reaches out, cradles the back of Poe’s head with his free hand. Leans in, slow but inevitable. His fingers card through the Poe’s hair as they kiss, soft and sweet, almost chaste.

After a moment, Finn pulls back. Rubs his thumb at the side of Poe’s head. “You’ve got a — you’ve got this curl that sticks out the wrong way, here."*

“Yeah,” says Poe, still stunned — at this point he doesn’t know why, it’s not like Finn hasn’t done this before — and swallows. “Yeah, it does that."

Finn leans in and kisses him again. Longer this time, with a hint of tongue. Poe sighs, drops his hand to Finn’s chest, needing something to anchor him as the world starts spinning.

(also, i had originally planned to write a sequel from finn’s POV, which ideally would’ve allowed me to explore his character/backstory/trauma more, but some of the comments to the fic kind of dissuaded me from it and now i’m just -- so far removed from it i think it would be hard).

*this part is really reminiscent of a bit from song of achilles, which i still have not even read -- just saw that passage quoted somewhere -- and anyway that also struck me. i wonder if people noticed it/thought it was deliberate reference -- it was not! but i wish i could’ve said it was.

1. Adrift

OKAY so on some level i think of this as the best fic i’ve ever written. maybe it’s not even that good but it’s just -- genuinely, sometimes, i’m amazed i wrote it. i finished it surprisingly fast, for me, and it came much easier than almost anything ever has (writing is like pulling teeth for me most of the time). but basically it was just, as i said in the tags, a fix-it where what i was fixing was the cancellation of constantine (2014).

It’s what i would’ve wanted the show to end on, in an ideal world where i had like. control of the whole thing. both bc it’s based around the most famous hellblazer/John Constantine arc -- dangerous habits -- but it deals exclusively with the fallout and not the actual events around john’s having and “curing” lung cancer. mostly bc i didn’t want to figure out how to re-write that, tbh -- i feel like i would’ve had to do something to update it but i’m so bad at plot.

anyway it’s also a bit of a mystery story -- starting in media res does set up that question of, why is chas living alone in the middle of nowhere? why is he so mad at john? where has JOHN been? where’s zed? and it all just kind of...unfolds from there.

it’s got the domesticity, it’s got the two of them sort of finding each other again, it’s got the start of a relationship they both know is probably a bad idea but that eventually turns out to be more functional than either of them expected (no matter how much john keeps panicking about it eventually falling apart). i think i hit a good balance of john being snarky but self loathing but an unreliable narrator but also really observant at times.

in general i also feel like the sex scenes are earned and work very well with the actual plot/narrative arc -- like they start off very awks and distant and not mutually satisfying; and then they’re in a honeymoon place of, both finally having regular sex with someone and it being good but also still a little distant; and then finally just much more open and with a real connection (demonstrated through eye contact bc i’m basic and weak). and after that point all of the sex scenes are more vague/fade to black bc the explicit content isn’t the ~point anymore. for me it’s very well balanced.

and i like where they end up. both in terms of their relationship -- it feeling pretty well established and healthy as it could be, for both of them -- and in terms of their place in the world (about to get back into the ~solving spooky shit~ business, and also on better terms with zed to the point that she might also come back and join the ~team).

again not to toot my own horn but to me, this is how the characters eventually ended up, after the show ended, and that’s really just how i chose to see them.

Bonus Runners Up:

A Battle, A War, A Growing Up - STILL the only alex/darwin (xmfc) fic i’ve written, which i HATE MYSELF for, but at least if this is going to be the only one i’ll ever write, i’m proud of it.

inosculation, or, that time Javert panicked and stole a small child - really the summary alone makes this one worthwhile. the title is inspired by the POI fandom meme of “that time harold panicked and stole a small child”

want who you want (boys and boys and girls and girls) - the jake peralta/john constantine fic LITERALLY NO ONE would’ve ever thought to ask for, and that i’m still amazed anyone has actually read

Equuleus - the best thing russell crowe brought to les mis was making javert a horsegirl. i will die on this hill.

the fire and the flood - quality wise, i think this is pretty even with adrift in terms of chastantine fic. it’s only not included in the favorites list because it TOOK SO FUCKING LONG TO WRITE and i really hated it by the end there. at least i did something interesting w the timelines and vignettes.

#writing meme #YESH talk about a long post #i'm not going to cut bc tumblr is doing automatic trimming anyway but #ANYWAY here we are lots to talk about

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garrothromeave · 1 year

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Would "Aoki Tsuki Michite" (black Butler, amalee) make sense for your Garroth playlist? I get the vibe lowkey

FUCKK YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT ANON YOU ARE SO SO RIGHT! i reviewed the lyrics a couple of times and gave it a listen, this is perfect. i’d love to hear the thoughts of what context you’d imagined this song in, but as i was reading through it i really imagined like, the day before he was supposed to go home with zane? after the baby shower, and before all of that shit happened? ohhh yeah. i’ll go over some verses/lines that i really like for this.

“Try with all of your might

But none can hide from this unforgiving moonlight

Bear your scars like a prayer - Another wish lost to the night”

this intro really gives me like, the confrontation with aphmau, garroth & zane after the docks vibes. like, he’s just been uncovered, his identity has been exposed to aphmau, and now his “wish” of staying dead to o’khasis is being undone within these moments - lost to the night of the wedding, if you will!

“Every step I take, every fallen tear

Weaves another lie, a curse I will bear

There’s a part of me, struggling to break free: It lives within the dark”

this part i really imagine has a lot to do with how secretive he’s been, how much he’s lied, and how much he feels he proceeds to even now. it’s something he never wanted, and in truth he’s often torn up with guilt with how much he has to deceive those he cares about. “a curse i will bear” - that being guilt. then the idea of struggling to break free, and it living inside of him - it’s that longing to not have to hide, to not lie to those he cares about, to just be open - but he can’t do that, it’s risking his & others’ safety (at least, that’s what he strongly believes).

“Will tomorrow come at last?

In a million shards of broken glass

Fate is bleeding through my resilient soul,

Dyeing it a pale and fragile blue”

the night before he’s to leave home to o’khasis! they’ve tried their best, but it’s inevitable. the first line is a reference to the dread of the following day, and then the third - “fate is bleeding through my resilient soul,” the fate being returning home & becoming the lord of o’khasis, damaging how far he’s gotten on his own - “resilience.” fourth line: continuation of the last, that “resilient soul” is growing terrified of what’s to come. especially since he can’t do anything about it.

“There is beauty in the lie, spoken like a bittersweet goodbye

Still that brilliant light is beyond my reach

Maybe I belong here – beneath the light of the moon”

where i see “beauty in the lie,” that line, i see it like - for a good portion of villagers, his name most likely wouldn’t be entirely soiled since only dale finds out about the whole zane & garroth being related thing, so garroth believes there’s a chance that the people won’t see him for who he really is - a coward. bittersweet goodbye - well, it’s entirely bitter, but garroth’s a very sentimental man and i can imagine it could be in a “there was happiness here for me” kinda thing. last line, definitely a reference to belonging in phoenix drop.

“I once feared the end, praying for my life

Now I greet that darkness as a friend”

an accepting of his fate, he knows he can’t do anything at this point - he’s terrified, but he’s gotta try and suck it up (it’s very hard, he’s losing literally the person he holds closest to him right now).

“Maybe there’s a chance, a way out of this cruel and deadly dance, but at what cost?

Again the full moon is lost to the night”

THE FIRST LINE. COMEEEE ON. LOOK AT THAT. “dance” being a metaphor for leaving with zane. it’s the idea of like, is there a way he can get out of this? But the cost is the safety of this village. so in the end, it’s not an option - the “full moon” - a symbol of completion & good luck in some cultures - lost to the night. that night, where everything fell through.

BUT THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS! if you had any others i would LOVE to hear them :D the song itself is also so so beautiful, thank you so much for the recommendation!

#aphmau #minecraft diaries #garroth ro'meave #i like 100% didnt revise this btw so sorry for errors

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etgloria · 2 years

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five times smiled: ( five times the sender made the receiver smile ) (To Satou from Mira!)

The First Smile of Sweetness: It was when they met, with Mira approached Satou at her desk to introduce herself and make Satou her friend. When Satou was so empty and so ready to talk her way out of the situation, when she looked at her, there was...something.

Something in that smile, in those eyes, that made Satou stay- made her listen and as Mira bantered back and forth with her brother and talked to Satou all the same, she found herself smiling...and an odd sweet taste in her mouth. The Smile of Companionship: Satou was having a difficult time at work, working late hours alone, IT was rough but better than going home. So when she locked the doors and began her walk home in the dark, she felt nothing but bitterness. Bitter, Bitter, Bitter. But almost as if right on cue, her phone vibrates. And when Satou checks the message it reveals a selfie- Mira holding a teddy bear as she gave a peace sign to the camera.

It was cute, it was adorable, it was so, so sweet. And Satou texts back with a smile, long forgetting about the bitterness that stained her tongue. The Smile of Art:

Satou quietly listened as the artist shuffled through his house, as she heard the muffled shrieks from that room. that room he held all of the paintings of Satou. So she waited- biting her tongue, almost letting it bleed. Blood would've been sweeter than the bitterness she got from the man, the rage she felt. it was palpable- so strong. so when she got her chance and swung at him- it was true. Visceral.

When Mira was freed and cried in her arm it made it worth it. As Stou held her and comforted her as best she can, while policemen questioned. Satou smiled with Mira in her arms. Perfect, just like this she wanted to stay. The Smile of Understanding:

Satou hated that album, hated everything involved in it- hated when Nyx looked through it. When Ambrosia spoke to her about it, when the little family tried to get Satou to talk about it. Satou hated it. She didn't understand, she just wanted to love- to love the most important person in the world to her. To love Mira-

And when she was sitting there, drowning in her own thoughts, Mira's arms coiled around her- that's when she cried. And through those tears, she smiled. Maybe she could be loved back- maybe it was enough. The Smile of Reunion:

It was a long semester, Mira and Nyx enjoying their first year of college lives and Satou was her final year of high school. Mira and her texted every day, called almost every night- fill in the gap of the hours of distance. but it made this moment worth it. Mira ran out of the cab and scooped Satou into her arms, the large laughs, and giggling kisses. Spinning uncontrollably as they smiled against each other's lips. Yes, this was where she belonged. This was her Happy Sugar Life.

#Outside the Expected❊Meme #Satou❊Glory of Purity #Sugar Space and Love❊Satou and Mira #popolaroleplayhub #I LOVED TYPING THIS GOD

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silentcrowsilentravens · 2 years

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Hey! I like your writing! I'm curious if I could get RE characters reacting to their lover dying?

Thank you! You most certainly can. Time for angst.

Mia Winters, Lucas Baker, Alcina Dimitrescu, Bela Dimitrescu, Cassandra Dimitrescu, Daniela Dimitrescu, Donna Beneviento, and Mother Miranda reacting to their s/o dying.

(Gender ambiguous).

Warnings: murder, blood/gore, violence.

Masterlists here!

Mia Winters

When Mia first sees your face, she’s overjoyed. But then she remembers where she is, and that you are most certainly not supposed to be here with her.

She’s being infuriatingly cryptic as she tries to lead you around. She’s saying bizarre things. You’re torn between wanting to continue asking for answers, growing more concerned for Mia than you thought possible, and being utterly terrified. The house you’re in looks like it belongs in one of those ghost shows. The kind where a crew walks around with a night vision camera and freaks out with every small noise they hear.

You used to think those were ridiculous, but quite frankly, you understand their reactions now. You’ve never been more on guard in your entire life.

The two of you are getting closer to escaping.

Eveline knows. And she isn’t happy that you start trying to leave with Mia. You’re going to break up the family. Her family.

You panic when you hear Mia’s cry of “No, leave me alone!” and the sound of wood splintering.

Mia’s gone. You stepped away from her for not even a minute and she’s gone. Again. There’s no way she’s being taken away from you so soon after you’ve been reunited. You’re determined to find her again.

And you do! But Mia doesn’t quite sound like herself. Hell, she doesn’t even look like herself. Suddenly, you’re being thrown up the basement stairs with inhuman strength. Honestly, it’s a surprise that you manage to pick yourself back up as quickly as you do.

Though, not quick enough, apparently. Mia is in front of you with an absolutely massive knife.

You try your best to defend yourself, to snap her out of whatever is going on.

The knife is laying the skin of your forearms open to the bone. It goes through one of your hands. You no longer have control of your middle or ring finger. It sinks into the rim of one of your orbital bones, the flesh of your cheeks, various parts of your chest.

You’re losing a whole lot of blood. It hurts to breathe. And move.

This is one of the last ways you would have wanted to go, you think.

The blade clatters onto the floor. Mia—your Mia is back.

You have no clue what just happened, but you know that nothing she did was of her own violation. She looks horrified. She’s repeating your name again and again, but she’s starting to sound distant. She’s trying in vain to staunch the bleeding.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I didn’t—that wasn’t—”

Your eyes are starting to slip closed.

“No, no, stay with me. Stay with me!”

You just barely manage to tell her you love her one more time before the last of your life leaves your body.

Still on her knees beside you, Mia sobs, wishing that you had just gone ahead and forgotten about her.

Lucas Baker

Even prior to being infected, Lucas never dedicated a whole lot of thought to romantic pursuits. And on the rare occasion that he did, he found it hard to imagine someone who could be with someone like him.

Needless to say, Lucas did not expect you to worm your way into his heart the way you did. You mean a hell of a lot to him. More than he’d ever be willing to admit.

Still, there are things that give him away.

For one thing, Lucas is extra careful to make sure that you don’t encounter his family. He doesn't want to lose one of the only people he's ever given a shit about. You’ve both done a whole lot of sneaking around and there've been a few close calls.

Sure, you’re not half bad at defending yourself when need be. You can handle a weapon. You can handle yourself. You’ve been face to face with a few of the rare escapees from Lucas’ puzzles and traps, and those people are always pissed, desperate, and running on nothing but adrenaline. They’re nothing compared to his family, though.

The first day you’re finally caught is also the last. It happens so fast. You don’t even hear the sound of Jack’s heavy footfalls until it’s already too late.

Lucas hears screams on the regular. Coming from the speakers on his monitors while testing out new inventions and from inside various parts of the house. When you scream, it takes a moment for it to register that it’s your voice he’s hearing.

"Shit, shit, shit!”

You’re on the ground, blood pouring out your nose and over your lips and chin in a stream. Jack is keeping you pinned down with one of his muddy boots.

Lucas has seen genuine terror in many people’s eyes before. Usually, he enjoys it. But when his dad is standing over you and your eyes manage to catch his? Lucas doesn’t. He panics.

He tries, but he isn't strong enough to properly pull Jack away from you.

With the blade of an ax, Jack splits open the flesh of your neck. Your entire body jolts.

"Goddamnit, Dad! Stop! Stop!"

It's already too late. Jack swings again, and again, going on about dirty trespassers and sneaks. You gurgle and choke, blood bubbling forth from your lips, quickly pooling on the floor and forming a red halo. Jack only stops when your head is separated from the rest of you.

“Listen, boy. If you want to have fun with the ones she doesn’t like, then you best keep them out of the house! Now, find somewhere to put this one.”

As Lucas stares down at your corpse, he just sort of feels... empty.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Lots of people come and go in Alcina’s life. They all die at some point. They get killed. Or ill. Or old. Most do, anyway. If she does get attached, it tends to be to those who have been bestowed with some form of eternal life. Her daughters, for instance. You were the first exception in a long, long time.

After Alcina became deeply in love with you, she found herself occasionally flirting with the idea of asking you about potentially becoming a Cadou host. Alcina doesn’t wish to outlive you, but she knows very well that Cadou implantation is dangerous and the success rate isn’t high.

She finally brings it up one day. You seem tentatively receptive to the idea.

Only a few more pass before you end up being implanted with one.

You don’t leave the castle all that often. When you do, you usually do it with one or more of the daughters. But because of the cold weather on this particular day, you end up heading out by yourself after sharing a departing kiss with Alcina.

During the journey back, you’re unfortunate enough to have a nasty encounter with a Lycan.

Luckily, you manage to lose it.

Unluckily, by the time you do you don’t have it in you to keep running. Or walk, for that matter. The physical exertion has definitely made the nasty leg injury you acquired worse.

You’re losing blood, too.

You practically have to crawl your way back home and pass out not long after managing to push yourself through the doors.

Bela’s the one who finds you. She sends a maid to inform her mother while she carries you further inside.

You’re unresponsive and pretty much on your deathbed.

There’s really only one option to save your life: the Cadou.

Alcina waits with bated breath to see if you survive.

Your body does not react well to the Cadou. Within a matter of days, you die. Alcina hears the moment your heart stops beating.

She is immediately overcome with grief. Her love. Gone. She presses one last kiss upon your forehead.

After you’re buried, Alcina completely throws herself into her work.

Bela Dimitrescu

When Bela attacks, her movements are quick, smooth, and methodical. Like she’s carefully perfected them based on written descriptions. She can hold her composure much better than her sisters.

But right now? None of that works as an accurate description. The blistering cold surging in through the shattered window is making Bela’s movements grow stilted, and coupled with her growing desperation her swipes are sloppy.

When the intruder sent bullets through the glass, it clearly had been a product of bad aim and he had no knowledge of how vulnerable he was about to make Bela. He didn’t hesitate to take advantage of the situation once he realized, though.

It’s clear that Bela isn’t going to win the fight. Especially once she collapses to the floor and can’t seem to get back up.

When you happen across the scene, you don’t even think before you act.

When you see your partner about to die, you rush at the intruder and slam into him.

In his surprise, he drops his gun.

You grapple with him until he manages to slam you against the grilles as hard as he can. It pops out of the window’s frame and lands somewhere outside. Your upper body is leaning out.

Bela is still struggling to get up off of the floor, now with even more urgency than before.

The intruder looks past you out the window, then meets your eyes. You know what’s about to happen before it does.

When you feel yourself tilting so far backward that your feet begin to leave the floor, you cling onto the front of his shirt.

Bela finally manages to rise to her feet. Your eyes meet hers…

And then your face disappears from view. Panic shoots through Bela like lightning.

Both you and the intruder fall out of the window.

The fall is not a short one. The struggle wasn’t happening on the ground floor.

Bela is absolutely in no state to save you from you. She physically can’t. She can’t move fast enough. She doesn’t have enough control over her flies. All she can do is dart over to the window, reaching out for you in vain.

There’s no way you could’ve survived the impact. No human could.

At first, a hollow feeling settles itself in Bela’s chest. You had jumped in to save her without hesitation, and now you were gone. She didn’t even get to say goodbye. Sorrow slowly fills the void.

Cassandra Dimitrescu

It’s not so frequent of an occurrence that it could be considered a regular problem, but people sneaking into or trying to storm the castle certainly isn’t unheard of either. You’ve been around long enough to see it happen a few times. No attempt is very successful.

"Hey. Wake up." Cassandra places a hand on your shoulder and shakes you a bit.

You had stopped staying in the maid’s quarters and taken up permanent residence in Cassandra’s room a while ago.

You stir and barely open your eyes.

"I'm going to go check something. Don't leave this room."

You know what the implication is and you're not all that phased. In fact, you're already falling back asleep after Cass has untangled herself from you and gotten up. It won't be long before she returns, you're sure.

Cassandra grabs her sickle and locks the door when she leaves.

Eventually, it creaks open once more. Since you’re not awake, you don’t notice that the person entering most definitely did not use a key.

At such a late hour, the room is shrouded in utter darkness and, with ill-adjusted eyes, the intruder must not realize you aren’t Cass.

You remain blissfully unaware up until the moment they locate the vague shape resting on the pillow, clamp a hand over where they guess your mouth is, crane your head back, and slice your throat open.

Not long after, Cassandra notices the door isn’t closed like it’s supposed to be.

The scent of fresh blood hits her full force before she even enters the room. It’s sharp. It’s emanating from the bed. And someone is standing beside it, stock still and staring at her.

Cassandra wastes no time in taking care of the intruder and rushing over to you.

You were still making noise when she first entered, but you stop shortly after she reaches you.

You’re not dead yet, though. You’ve only lost consciousness. But if Cassandra doesn’t act fast enough, that will change. She knows a lot about how the human body ticks, but her knowledge isn’t exactly used to try and heal. It doesn’t stop her from trying. What other options does she have?

Despite Cassandra’s best efforts, you don’t make it.

If the intruder wasn’t already dead, she would do so, so much worse to them. She’s furious. At them. At herself. She’s devastated. The person she loves is lying lifeless before her.

Cassandra cries, the stained fabric of the sheets clenched tightly in her fists.

Daniela Dimitrescu

If a person wants to hurt somebody who seems to have no discernible weakness, then it’s sometimes just easier to go for that somebody’s partner.

The partner that she’s clearly so very in love with and never shuts up about. If anybody’s within the vicinity of Daniela Dimitrescu, then they better prepare themselves to hear at least one mention of you.

Daniela is busy helping one of her sisters with something and you’re taking a walk around the castle.

Aside from the occasional maid that you run into, you’re alone.

You stop at one of the windows and gaze out of it. The weather has been getting warmer and it’s a lovely day outside.

You think about asking Daniela if she wants to go out when she’s done.

The maid that approaches you is so quiet that you don’t even hear her. You’re the way she’s going to get what she wants: revenge.

A boning knife that was undoubtedly snuck out of the kitchen sinks in right below the base of your skull. The injury is one that kills you immediately.

The maid tugs the blade out hurries away, intent on disposing of the evidence before someone catches her.

Daniela is finally free after a good few hours. She wastes no time in trying to find you.

She’s a bit confused when she can’t seem to do so. She checks the places you’re in most frequently and still doesn’t find any sign of you.

She calls out your name. Nothing.

None of the maids she speaks to have seen you. Not since earlier in the day, anyway.

The moment Daniela does finally find you, you’re lying half-curled on the floor and facing the wall.

Daniela knows the smell of blood. She knows it well. She sees the dried blood staining your skin and the floor, and she still clings to the hope that you’re just unconscious.

But as she gets closer, Daniela can’t see the outer curve of your body rising and falling with every breath.

Daniela can’t hear your heart beating in your chest.

She drops onto her knees beside you, hugging your unmoving form close to her as tears stream down her face.

She’s going to find the person responsible. They’re going to be sorry for taking you away from her.

Donna Beneviento

You know that Donna can handle herself. Donna is strong. Stronger than she often gets credit for. But strong doesn’t mean invincible, and you can’t help but worry as you stay hidden where you were instructed to.

You can hear him somewhere in the manor. The man. Ethan. He wants something. He’s also very dead set on getting it.

But he’s just a man, you reason. A human. Like you. Donna is not. Plus, she has Angie with her. You’re supposed to stay put.

When you start hearing blood-curdling screams in what is unmistakably Angie’s voice, your gut tells you to try and intervene anyway. You snag a pair of shears and head out.

Bloody handprints are smeared across the walls and do your best to follow their path.

Then, you find them. Ethan is holding Angie down, raising up a pair of shears just like yours.

You aren’t immune to Donna’s illusions, so it doesn’t look like she’s even in the room. But you know Donna. You know she’s there. And see the fresh red handprint on the floor Ethan is kneeling upon.

You’re not sure if Donna herself notices you, but Angie certainly does. And more importantly, Ethan does not. You drive the blades right into his back. Your main goal is to get him away from your loved ones before it’s too late.

You succeed. You even get a few other good stabs in. Ethan gets far more in.

The moment you crumple to the floor and can't back up, Donna stops caring about what Mother Miranda asked of her. Donna has lost a lot, but she is not going to lose you. She can’t. She refuses.

Instead of attempting to properly finish the fight for fear of wasting too much time, Donna keeps herself hidden, instructs Angie to get help through their mental link, and lets Ethan take the flask he came for.

The moment he’s out the door, Donna appears already at your side, ripping her veil off. You have several injuries, but most are relatively superficial compared to the ones on your stomach. She covers the wounds with the fabric and applies as much pressure as she can.

Though your vision has become blurred, you can still somewhat make out Donna’s face. If she is the last thing your eyes get to take in, you decide that you’ll be content with that.

"What were you thinking?"

You can see blood trailing over her worry-creased brow, though. Down her cheek and the corner of her downturned lips. It starts in a big blotch near her hairline. You reach up and your shaky fingers brush against her skin, managing to cup her cheek with only slight difficulty.

“You’re hurt,” you answer, thinking of the gore you had also seen decorating parts of the house. "He was hurting you... Going to kill you... Are you okay?"

Donna honestly can’t believe you. Sure, she’s hurt pretty bad, but you’re the one whose shirt is now more red than it is its original color! And all because you willingly jumped into harm’s way to save her. As incredibly touched as Donna is, she thinks she should be in your position. She wishes she could switch.

“I’ll be fine, cuore mio. Don’t worry about me.”

You try your best to stay awake. Donna tries her best to keep you alive.

Unfortunately, you stop breathing before any form of help can arrive.

“No… Don't leave. Please don’t leave me,” Donna chokes out. “I love you so much. Please. Wake up…”

You don’t. You're gone.

Donna is inconsolable.

She takes one of your hands and clutches it close to her chest like it’s something precious. And it is. It’s a part of you and you are so, so precious to Donna. She doesn't want to let go. She might never if Angie or somebody else doesn't pull her away.

Mother Miranda

Miranda is, as per usual, nose deep in her work when she asks you to head down to the village and pick something up for her.

“Anything for you, Mira.”

It isn’t often that somebody comes into Miranda’s life and she finds herself genuinely caring for them. But when she does, she does so intensely.

…Although, simultaneously, she’s not the best at expressing it. That’s probably the biggest reason why it took so long for the two of you to end up together.

“Try not to take too long, darling.”

When you leave, you’re not oblivious to the way she watches you until you disappear from her sight.

Perhaps if the villagers knew how important you are to their perceived goddess, then not a single one of them would have dared to lay a finger on you.

Not many people are out at this time of day, but one of the few that is starts to approach you.

One minute, you’re minding your business. The next, you’re being roughly shoved against a building and the cold metal of a gun barrel is pressing into your stomach.

The man threatening you wants lei. You give him what he wants.

But… he still puts a bullet through you before he runs off.

You slowly slide down the wall until you’re sitting on the ground. The pain you’re experiencing is enough to practically paralyze you.

As the minutes continue to tick by, Miranda begins to grow worried. It’s unusual for you to take so long.

When Miranda locates you, you’re still clinging to life. Barely. For the first time in a long time, her expression is easily readable.

She’s very careful when she scoops you into her arms, but it still hurts.

She gets you to a place where your wounds can be treated as fast as she can.

You stop breathing moments after arriving.

Miranda herself nearly stops breathing.

Not again. Not again. Not again.

A perfect blend of fury and anguish courses through her veins.

She makes sure to find the person responsible.

The villager feels sheer terror when he opens his door and he’s faced with Mother Miranda, eyes blazing with pure anger behind her mask.

“M-mother Miranda-!”

Miranda doesn’t even let the man complete his sentence before she finishes him off. It does little to bring her solace.

Bringing back Eva is no longer her only goal.

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whumpsday · 2 years

Text

Kane & Jim #17: Papercut

Masterlist

content: vampire whumpee, whumper turned whumpee, whumpee turned caretaker, starvation, begging, death wish, very slight mouth whump

tags sound bad but this is the happy one ok i prommy

It had been a month since Jim brought Kane home, and they were settling into a routine. Every morning, Jim would wash up, eat breakfast, and go get Kane. He would wait outside the bathroom while Kane washed up, the two would just do their usual all day, and he would lock Kane back downstairs before sunset. Kane’s injuries were almost all the way healed by now, though Jim still denied his repeated insistence on trying to help around the house. Even healed, he was clearly too weak to be moving around much, and Jim didn’t really need help anyway.

Jim didn’t have a job-- he was still making enough royalties off the book. The stupid book, even ten years later. Against All Odds: The True Story of Jim Lieberman. A fucking international bestseller based on interviews with him. Truth be told, he still hadn’t read the damn thing all the way through. He’d tried, of course, but he just couldn’t. He’d read the ending a million times, though. That was the part he liked, the part where he got out.

The book made him seem like a superhero. He got out, and then the book ended, all nice and clean. No PTSD, no chronic pain, no fucking nightmares where he never really left. No trying to finish high school at 25 and failing. No trying therapy and failing. No sitting in the bathtub in his sister’s house, clutching the stick he found in the woods so tightly it made his hands bleed, screaming at her that he can’t go to bed because Kane is going to find him. No moving to the middle of nowhere to get away from everyone who had read the book all the way through, to get away from the looks in their eyes that told him they knew all the details.

And certainly no keeping his former jailer captive in his basement.

They spent most of the day watching T.V., usually. Jim loved T.V. and he loved movies, always had. Back when he was Kane’s prisoner, the vampire had a T.V., but it wasn’t connected to anything. It could only play whatever VHS tapes Kane had. No episodes of Jim’s favorite shows. No new material. No news of the outside world. Now, he could watch as much as he wanted.

Kane seemed content to sit on the couch, huddled comfortably in a ball with the hood of his jacket pulled up. Sometimes he would bring the blanket up, too, though he’d started doing it less and less. Jim took it as a sign that he was beginning to feel safer, after a month of peace.

It almost seemed like it could go on like this forever.

Jim lived far enough away from the nearest town that he only got his mail delivered once a week, and today was mail day. As usual, it was mostly junk. As he thumbed through the letters and leaflets, he accidentally sliced his thumb on the sharp edge of one of the papers.

Instantly, something hit him with such force that he was knocked to the ground, the back of his head hitting the wooden floor hard as he looked up.

Kane, an uninjured, hungry vampire, was right on top of him, fangs bared and eyes crazed mere inches from his face. His hands pinned Jim’s wrists to the floor, and drool dripped onto Jim’s cheek as the vampire leaned in--

Jim screamed. His chest spasmed in panic, breathing heavily with his heart feeling like it was about to pound out of his body.

“N-n-no, no, no,” he whimpered, eyes welling up with tears.

The wild look in Kane’s eyes morphed into abject horror.

Kane hastily pushed himself up, took a few wary steps back, and raced in the direction of the basement. Jim could hear a distinctive thunk followed shortly by the sound of the basement door slamming shut.

Jim did not get up from the floor, shoulders quaking. Oh god, Kane’s in his house. He’d forgotten. This was Kane. Jim had interrupted feeding, he’d forgotten who he belonged to, he was going to be beaten again, he couldn’t breathe--

A piercing wail interrupted his spiral, the most distress-filled sound Jim had ever heard, long and broken.

When Kane realized what had just happened, he was already on top of Jim, pinning him to the floor while the human cried and pleaded.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

Kane reeled, backing away slowly for a few steps before making a run for it. Back down to the basement, back down where there’s no sun--

He tripped over the ankle restraints, hitting the floor with a crash. The dull pain was nothing compared to what he was about to experience. Not wasting a moment, he got back up and made it to the basement, slightly singeing his hands on the door’s silver lining as he shut it firmly behind him. Like the fall, he barely noticed.

Kane was going to be sent back. There was no getting around it, there was absolutely no way Jim was going to let him stay after what he’d just done.

He collapsed at the bottom of the stairs, sobbing. He liked it here. He had felt good for the first time in so long. Jim had allowed him to heal. The only thing that ever hurt at all anymore was the agonizing twisting of his stomach, and he’d suppressed that for so long that it was almost negligible most of the time, until the scent of blood hit him with absolutely no warning.

Jim gave him a bed, and clothes, and a blanket, and the jacket, and let him take a bath every day, and never once hurt him, even after everything he’d done. Not even so much as a cruel word. Here he got to be Kane again, instead of the leech.

But not anymore. Because he was going back. Kane shuddered on the ground. He would have to go back to being the leech. Back to the cell, to being exposed, to sleeping on concrete. Back to pain, pain, pain, every minute of every hour of every day without reprieve, and this time no one was going to come save him. He would never be allowed to feel another good thing ever again, because he didn’t deserve it. Even after everything, after claiming he’d learned his lesson, he’d still attacked. Attacked Jim, again. And now he was going to pay. Forever.

Kane wailed, his overwhelming anguish unable to be contained by his body anymore.

Jim snapped out of it at the sound of the blood-curdling scream.

He wasn’t there. He didn’t belong to anyone, not anymore. He wasn’t going to be beaten. Kane wasn’t going to hurt him anymore. Things were different now. He was home.

He was having trouble breathing because his own hand was clamped over his neck hard enough to leave bruises. He slowly unclenched his hand, not removing it entirely, just not pressing down anymore.

Jim took a deep breath and forced himself to assess the situation. Kane had tackled him. Because he was starving. Because I’m a fucking coward. Even still, Kane had managed to hold himself back and retreated without biting. That was... commendable.

If the scream was anything to go by, Kane was expecting something bad. Execution, maybe, or some form of horrifying torture Jim couldn’t even imagine. Whatever had caused the marks that had painted every inch of his skin up until recently.

Jim got to his feet. Before he could deal with Kane, he needed to make sure it wouldn’t turn into a repeat of what just happened. He got out a band-aid and secured it around his thumb, frowning. This... wouldn’t be enough, probably. He headed to the kitchen and encased the digit in plastic wrap for good measure. He was still unsure if this would be enough to block the scent of blood to a starving vampire, but it would have to do.

Just in case, he went to his bedroom to retrieve his stake. He usually kept it under his pillow, gripping it hard in the middle of the night when the fear was the worst. Never used, always handy. It wasn’t large, didn’t need to be. It went in his back pocket.

And then, the basement. As he got closer, the sound of pitiful weeping got more and more audible. Jim felt his heart twist: the guy must be absolutely terrified.

Probably best to knock first. No more surprises. The crying stopped immediately as he rapped lightly on the door.

“Kane? I’m coming down, alright?” he called.

A low, miserable whine in response.

Tentatively, he pushed open the door. Kane was crumpled in a heap on the floor, shaking in fear.

As he cautiously descended, Kane moved himself into a kneeling position. Jim opened his mouth, but before he could get any words out, Kane spoke first.

“I’m sorry. P-p-please kill me instead.” he begged, his voice shaking uncontrollably as he convulsed with sobs. “I, I know I can’t b-be allowed to st-stay here after what I’ve d-done. Please,” he looked up at Jim with desperate intensity, “Please don’t m-make me go back. I can’t. I can’t t-take it.”

He brought his trembling hands to his head, gripping fistfuls of hair. “Please just kill me. P-please, Jim, mercy. I’m s-s-so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, please not ag-gain. N-no more, please, I can’t take any m-more pain, I can’t. Please d-don’t send me back there. I’ll d-do anything, please, anything but that, please have mercy, I’m s-sorry.”

Kane thought he was going to send him back to be tortured.

He stepped closer. The vampire tensed, staring at him with bated breath and eyes full of despair.

“I’m not sending you back.” he started.

The effect of the words was immediate. Kane collapsed on himself, crying into his hands. “Thank you.” he breathed. “Th-thank you, thank you s-so much. I, I’ll be good. I w-won’t fight it. Thank you.”

It would be so easy. The stake was in his pocket. Kane was willing, begging him to do it. He could kill his captor right now and be done with the whole affair and never have to bleed again.

But when he looked at the sobbing, fearful man in front of him, he couldn’t see the monster who’d held him captive, who’d hurt him over and over and over again. All he could think of was when he’d been there, before, when their roles were reversed. How much he’d yearned for mercy, for Kane to just agree not to hurt him, for anyone to tell him that everything was going to be okay. Kane looked as miserable as he had felt then.

And he couldn’t do it.

“I’m not going to kill you either.”

Kane’s head snapped up, eyes widening in shock. “Wh-what are you gonna do to me?”

Jim steeled his nerves. “I’m going to feed you.”

Kane couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That, that couldn’t be right.

“What?” he asked, voice small.

“I’m going to feed you.” Jim repeated, even more confidently than the first time. “We can’t go on like this. It’s not right. You need to eat. Shit, I’m impressed you stopped yourself earlier.”

Kane didn’t understand. He just didn’t understand why, of all people, Jim would do that for him. After he’d attacked, no less. The dissonance scared him.

When Kane didn’t respond, Jim continued. “I’m going to drain some blood into a cup upstairs and bring it down here for you. No biting. Okay?”

Kane nodded mutely. He was going to be given blood. He’d given up on ever being allowed to feed again for as long as he lived, resigned to the constant feeling of need.

He still hadn’t responded. Jim was going to give him everything he’d ever wanted, more than he could ever hope to deserve, and he hadn’t even thanked him for it.

“Thank you!” he practically yelled. Loud, too loud. Jim flinched, staggering backwards.

He’s afraid of me. Of course he is.

Kane clasped his hands over his mouth. “S-s-sorry. Thank you.” he repeated in a muffled whisper. “I... I’m not worthy of your kindness. I’m beyond grateful. Thank you.” He bent forward, ducking his head in reverence.

“It’s f-fine.” Jim stuttered. “I’ll, uh, be right back.”

Kane heard the door lock behind him.

This was it. He was going to be allowed to feed, for the first time in years. He couldn’t remember what it felt like to not be hungry. Realistically, he’d probably still be hungry afterwards, but he didn’t care. He would take anything. Jim had said it in a way that made it sound like he would get regular feedings, too. How often? Once a year? Every few months? Maybe, if he was lucky, even once a month. He was giddy at the concept.

Kane could smell it, suddenly. Like when Jim had cut his finger earlier. Farther away, but so much more, and he began salivating at the aroma. He needed it, needed it. With difficulty, he fought the urge to ram his body against the silver-lined door in desperation. Jim was going to let him have it, he just needed to be patient.

A possibility suddenly occurred to him: What if it was all a trick? A taunt to punish him for attacking?

It would be justified. He’d attacked, after all, and done so much worse to Jim before that. And Jim wasn’t sending him back, that was all that mattered. A false promise of blood was the mildest punishment he could possibly imagine for such an offense. He’d take it gladly.

And even so... he thought of Jim’s kind words, his generous gifts. Letting him upstairs to relax on the couch with him during the day. Closing the blinds to protect his skin. The way he’d spoken about the hunters’ treatment of him as if it was wrong. And he just couldn’t bring himself to believe Jim would do it. Kane found himself believing Jim’s words.

He was going to be fed.

The smell was getting stronger and stronger. Jim was bringing the blood here. Still kneeling, he dug his nails into his thighs, hard enough that he would have likely broken the skin if not for the fabric of the pants he’d been given, and forced himself to be still.

The door opened, and the sensation was overpowering. Kane let out a strangled noise against his will and stopped breathing, tenser than he’d ever been in his life, staring up at Jim. He couldn’t attack again, he couldn’t.

Jim approached hesitantly, a mug about one-quarter full of delicious delicious blood in one hand, his other hand behind his back. The arm he could see had a bandage wrapped around the elbow.

“Here.” Jim said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world and not the act of a saint, and held out the mug.

At the granting of permission, he finally let himself grasp the mug from Jim’s hand and brought it to his lips.

Kane had never felt anything so amazing in his entire life, tears streaming down his face as he gulped it down. It was more heavenly than he could have ever imagined, it was everything, and it was gone in all of two seconds. He lapped at the inside of the mug, licking up every last drop.

But oh, there was more, deeper in the mug than his tongue could reach, and he needed it. He felt newfound strength flowing through him, an energy he hadn’t felt in so long, and almost felt like he could just--

The ceramic shattered to pieces in his hands, allowing him to access the sweet remnants of blood at the bottom of what used to be a mug. He gleefully licked up what was left, uncaring as the jagged edges cut his tongue and added his own blood to the mix. A few drops had spilled on the floor, and he licked those up too. Finally, he had consumed every smidgeon of blood offered to him, the only remaining scent of it coming from his savior.

Jim watched, stunned, as Kane licked scattered drops of blood off the floor, broken pieces of mug strewn around him. Slowly, he lowered his hand from where it gripped the stake in his back pocket as his fear ebbed away. At last, Kane looked up, his face full of dazed wonder.

“Uh, so, I’ll use a bowl tomorrow. Got it.” Jim commented.

Kane seemed to snap back to reality at his words, eyes flicking down to the mess surrounding him before returning to Jim, more fearful. “Thank you so, so much, I, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jim waved him off. “It’s just a mug. You were literally starving.”

Kane’s shoulders relaxed at the reassurance before suddenly tensing back up, his eyes widening impossibly. “Wait-- tomorrow?”

Jim paused. This was it, he was committing. He was going to do this every day for the foreseeable future.

But... it was different, now. He was in control of his own body. It was his choice this time. It honestly hadn’t been as bad as he had expected, making the cut alone with his own hands. And looking down at Kane, eyes wide and fragile, so desperate that he’d just licked his blood off the floor without hesitation, there was no other answer he could have given.

“Yeah. You’ll be fed every day.” Jim confirmed. “Should have been that way from the day you got here.” An I’m sorry almost crossed his lips, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not to Kane. Not after the last time he’d said I’m sorry to him.

Kane looked up at him like he was a god.

“I-” Kane stammered, “I don’t... I don’t know what to say. How I could ever repay you. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” he replied, uncomfortable.

There was one more thing.

“Kane, I just wanna make something clear.” he said seriously. Fear crept back into Kane’s eyes at the tone as Jim crouched, meeting him eye-to-eye.

“You are never going back there. I don’t expect this to happen, but if there were ever a problem-- if you ever did something... so big that I couldn’t keep you here anymore, I would kill you. I will never, ever send you back to those sick fucks. Do you understand?”

Jim had never seen someone so relieved in his entire life, let alone at the promise of potential death. He could see the tension visibly leave Kane’s body.

“I understand.” he said, his voice light.

And for the first time in five years, Kane smiled.

my face started bleeding while i was writing this (it’s fine) and i wiped it off then licked the blood off my fingers, so i’m living the dream kane-style too

taglist: (if there’s anyone who asked to be tagged and isn’t getting tagged pls send a new ask cuz i lost some of the tag requests i’d written down, sorry i’m a clutz)

@ceph-the-writing-spook

@crying-wings

@crystalquartzwhump

@cupcakes-and-pain

@deluxewhump

@elrys-creates

@extrabitterbrain

@harri-00

@inpainandsuffering

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast

@lactose-intolerant-egg

@lilac-and-lemon-whumps

@littlespacecastle

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@myhusbandsasemni

@mylifeisonthebookshelf

@nicolepascaline

@octopus-reactivated

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@quietly-by-myself

@quirkykayleetam

@ramadiiiisme

@redwhump

@scp-1296

@thecyrulik

@thegreatwhodini

@themarlo

@whump-cravings

@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

@whumpthisway

@whumpilicious

@whumpshaped

@whumpwillow

@whumpy-writings

@whumpyzombie

@wits-and-wrongs

@wolfeyedwitch

#kane and jim #whump #my writing #vampire whumpee #whumper turned whumpee #whumpee turned caretaker #begging #death wish #starvation #vampire whump #whump writing

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