#the dilfs got me

[natelia-aldelliz]

Soap & Gaz : =(

Ghost : What's going on with you two?

Gaz : Old people flirting =( it's like my divorced dad flirting with his new girlfriend in front of me all over again

Ghost : What happened?

Gaz : Well he and my mom got a divorce, which was for the best honestly, and then he got himself a girlfriend that was closer in age to me than him and -

Ghost : I don't give a shit about your parents Garrick, what happened right now.

Gaz : Oh =(

Soap : Nikolai was teaching us insults in russian, and Price told him he had a dirty mouth and Nik just smiled at him, y'know, like a smirk, and Price smiled back, ewwww

Ghost : Wait, you think Price flirting with his... friend is gross because they're old? You do know I'm not that much younger than Price, right?

Soap : Yeah, but you're not flirting with anyone, so it's okay =)

Ghost :

Gaz :

Soap : =) ?

Gaz : I can't believe you just said that. With your full chest too...

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #captain john price #i just found out that price's name is jonathan?? i thought it was a joke not canon lmao #cod nikolai #ghostsoap #soapghost #does pricexnikolai have a name? #based on a thirty seconds search through tumblr it appears to be nikprice #and i was so happy that for once i shipped a main ship and not a rare ship lmao rip me #the dilfs got me #anyway i was realising that price is also fucking massive like next to ghost it doesn't show or even gaz who's pretty tall as well #but next to other people wow he's tall #soap isn't as tall but what he doesn't have in height he has in shoulders so it's not that obvious that he's smol #anyway #soap instantly notices people flirting with other people like he'd met ale and rudy for five minutes and already knew #that doesn't apply to himself tho because he doesn't think anyone could love him and thinks they just want sex #and he ignores it coming from ghost because he couldn't deal with just sex from him so he'd rather not see anything at all =) #and gaz is tired of him and ghost thinks soap knows and is rejecting him and gaz is tired of him too #and now he's also tired of price because how dare he flirt in front of his salad like that

[forestofsprites]

WHY at no point in the show's history did my best friend castiel angel of the lord get called a dilf. yeah yeah yeah he got the early seasons pretty boy commentary, mr wisp of an angel dawdling about the twinkish gait of jimmy the salesman I'M TALKING S13 ->>>>>> that gay angel's a FATHER. he's a dad and he's fucking built, okay. he's tired, he's got eyebags, he's got wrinkles, he's juggling all sorts of shit. ongoing divorce, hunt at 3:00pm, pick jack up from the become god at 6:00. he's fuckin broad chest, fitted coat, he drives a truck but let's be honest it's like if a truck were a minivan

#he's still pretty. nonono this isnt about negating his prettiness #this is about saying he's got dilf status #and it's never recognized #and that saddens me #i slept 9 hours last night after knocking myself out w melatonin at 8pm bc ive had horrible insomnia for weeks and i suddenly feel like my #brain's switched on and now instead of editing this paper i'm here saying shit like Twinkish Gait #spn #spn thoughts

[f1version]

joke’s over guys please come back

#‎ ﹒✶ ˖ ࣪ steph talks ! #don’t mind me just got childhood nostalgia #I MISS MY DILFS #+ LEWIS AND FERNANDO EVEN IF THEYRE NOT GONE #YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN #f1 #kimi raikkonen #sebastian vettel #jenson button #mark webber #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #fernando alonso

[andy-clutterbuck]

8x14 | Still Gotta Mean Something

#*some joke about the 4th of july and meat* #Rick Grimes #* #rg #S8 #hello illac furrow adonis belt v lines whatever the crap you wanna call them #belly (◡‿◡✿) #still want to blow raspberries on his belly #keep me in the dad™ shirt pocket #form an orderly line to cosplay as his duty belt #wear your jeans lower richard i dare you #no really i double dog dare you #i still remember this episode man i didn't give a fuck about twd at this point and there he comes #in all his apocalypse dilf glory around the corner shirtless #it was like i got jabbed with a cattle prod #*opening to careless whisper* #that space under a dude's belly button is so sacred #did i really just type that #yeah i did but it's the truth #not just the margaritas talking

[skitskatdacat63]

I was showing my mom various eras of Nando, AND SHE SAID PUPPY DOG MCHONDA ERA LOOKS LIKE PUSS IN BOOTS HAHAHAHHAA

I'm not gonna be able to stop thinking about this comparison for a while 😭😭😭😭😭

#my mom constantly says things and makes comments that makes me wish she had a tumblr blog #you know actually if we're gonna keep calling nando a cartoon character #i think puss in boots suits him by far the best #but especially bcs of this 😭😭😭😭 #anyways my mom is so me fr. she only finds the older f1 drivers attractive 😭 #she said nando's linen outfit from today was hot and that hes the only REAL MAN on the grid #and i was showing her the other various dilfs and she got so excited at mark 😭 #im gonna bully her forever about how she excitingly pointed at mark in a pic and said 'WHO HE!?' #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #catie.rambling.txt

[ijustloveobeymeok]

Lucifer: why do you think I don't like you? I do. I would kill for you. Go on, ask me to kill for you.

Y/n: First of all, calm down.

#obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me! #obey me lucifer #headcanon: Lucifer learnt the word through a trending poll #he got second most DILF devil of the Devildom #Diavolo got first #Lucifer voted for Diavolo as well after all... #obey me headcanons

[sincericida]

2022 was Andrew Garfield year, in all awards, interviews and editorials, in all colors (or almost none 👀):

👀👀👀

#andrew garfield #man of the year #2022 was his year #andrew garfield in all colours #i got dizzy with so many pictures #👀 #the last pic 👀 #god i need to [redacted] with him so much #unholy thoughts #very fuckable #dilf energy #why so fucking sexy #i need him inside of me #andrew please #awards #interview #editorials #2022 #peter parker #tasm #the amazing spider man #spider man #tasm peter parker #andrew peter parker #andrew garfield peter parker #andrew garfield spider man #tick tick boom #under the banner of heaven #sincericida #pics

[bunny-hoodlum]

A Girl Should Never Be Without a Father

DILF!Naruto/Teen!Hinata

chapter one of three

extremely dubious consent, cheating, secret relationship, huge age difference

#naruhina #TheDILFThread #DILF Naruto #smut fic #making a separate post maybe the other one got lost in the sauce a little idk 😅 #don't mind me and my shameless self-advertisement ehehehe #Gonna read all the DILF fics this weekend whoohoo! 🙌

[bugtoast]

Happy valentines, i’m trying to learn how to draw the gay people’s faces after over 2 years of being in this fandom (they mean the world to me,,,,,,)

#half life #hl #hl2 #half life gordon #half life 2 #hl2 gordon #gordon freeman #barney calhoun #hl2 barney #half life barney #AW SHIT I ACCIDENTALLY MADE BARNEY A DILF #okay but real talk??? he kinda is #he looks like he could tell me stories while cooking the best meal he can with what he's got over a fire he lit himself #also he looks like he'd give those REALLY GOOD hugs #yknow the ones #my art #Dooldes #freehoun #<- it isn’t actually freehoun but its mentioned so i might as well tag it

[skloomdumpster]

#fate the winx saga #fate: the winx saga #saul silva #myedit #winxsource #dailynetflix #okay repeat after me: character thesis quote #this man has decided at an early age he was not deserving of happiness #cemented by aster dell and andreas' death (murder) #so all he loved and wished he kept at arms length and thus you know self fulfilling prophecy of hurting them/continuing to suffer himself #my greek tragedy of a dilf #pls ignore the ugly ass coloring i got lazy

[cupcakeinat0r]

#I got plans #that I WILL not share w u #bc the haters will sabotage me….. #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #dadbod!miguel #dilf!miguel #atsv miguel #atsv #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara smut #miguel x you #professor!miguel

[andy-clutterbuck]

Rick Grimes - The Walking Dead | Joel Miller - The Last Of Us

#Rick Grimes #Joel Miller #The Last Of Us #The Last of Us HBO #guess who's back back again #not shady but me with the apocalypse dilfs #* #rg #i've been thinking about this since the first episode #and i kept telling myself not to make it #but now i've had too man margs so i'm gonna make it #also that rick and joel outfit gifset got me the most notes i have ever had so lmfao #i love apocalypse dilfs #when apocalypse dads threaten bodily harm it can be so personal #if you see this and say 'lacey yes' you're a real one 😘😘 #*me crying at the quality difference while giffing* yeah aesthetic and film n' whatever idc

[tiny-stack-of-knights]

Couldn’t get the idea of MK doing dad things out of my head so I present to you mr dilf knight (and son)

#meta knight #kirby #gijinka #my art #raising from the dead to post this #been in a big mk mood again as always 👁️👁️👁️ #bout to be real busy so idk how active I’ll be here but. i would like to draw the beloved orb more :) #missed drawing Kirby too these two are such an excellent duo #originally was gonna do some angst with mk trying to explain galacta to Kirby but uhhhh that would work so! cute stuff for now #tired dilf mk really got me 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👀👀👀👁️👁️

[rhettabbotts]

what if i said dilf!rhett gets pissed after you send him pictures of yourself while he's out at the bar, then comes home and makes you ride the arm of the couch while he watches???

"been actin' up lately, haven't you whore? need to remind my little cowgirl who's in charge."

WHAT IF I SAID THIS WAS MY LAST STRAW!!!!

he asked you to watch the girls later than he usually does. he had a few old riding buddies in town and was going out for a few drinks. you happily obliged, not minding the extra time you got to spend with grace and ellie.

after bath and bedtime, you were laying on the sectional sofa that was in the middle of the large living room. you couldn’t stand to look at another post on instagram. you were uninterested in scrolling mindlessly through videos. you were bored. dangerously so.

your thumb hovered over rhett’s contact. going against better judgment, you clicked on it, opening a thread of texts between the two of you.

“how’s it going with the retirement committee?”

“very funny. it’s fine. i’m too old to be taking shots of tequila. how’s the girls?”

“they were angels as always. i kind of miss you right now☹️”

“i’ll be home soon”

“will this make you come home sooner?”

you attached a photo you just took. a risqué picture of your thigh. dress hiked up enough to show a peek of your lacy underwear - a pair that rhett had bought you.

the three bubbles appeared and disappeared several times. it made you nervous. you were afraid you had crossed a line. but then his text came in.

“i’ll be home in thirty minutes. that dress better be off when i come through the door.”

you tore the dress off your body like it was burning you. your body was on fire at the anticipation of hearing rhett’s truck turning up the drive. waiting for the crunch of gravel and the slam of his door. a smug grin settled on your face as you heard the telltale sign of his arrival.

his heavy footsteps fell on the wooden porch, matching the thud of your heartbeat. your breath caught in your throat as he opened the door. he was not happy, if the clenched jaw told you anything.

“hi,” you greeted him softly, hands placed delicately in your lap. you sat on your heels in nothing but your bra and panties.

rhett was silent. he kicked his boots off next to the assorted pairs of shoes that lined the wall. he tossed his jacket on the bench and rolled his sleeves up without a word. he pointedly ignored you, heading towards the kitchen to pour himself a drink.

the ice cubes clinked against the crystal glass as he filled it, pouring the dark colored liquor in before taking a long swig. he let out a hiss through his clenched teeth as the whiskey burned down his chest.

“you think you’re cute, don’t you? sending me a picture like that where anyone could’ve seen,” rhett spoke finally, voice deep and raspy with a hint of malice. he was reprimanding you and you hated to admit it made your thighs press together.

“i just missed you,” you pouted at the man that was approaching you.

“you’re a fucking brat, is what you are. thinking you can always get your way. do i need to remind you who’s in charge?”

rhett towered over you as he took his stand before your kneeling frame. his thumb and index finger gripped your chin tightly, roughly. he took another drink and your mouth dropped open on its own accord.

he smirked before leaning down to let the warm liquid drip onto your waiting tongue, forcing your mouth shut so you could swallow.

“couch arm.”

“what?”

“i want you on the couch arm. that’s all you get tonight. it’s either that or nothin’. take your pick.”

“but-“

“i ain’t arguing.”

you moved hesitantly, straddling the couch arm and positioning yourself comfortably. you felt a sting in your muscles as the arm spread your thighs wider than you’re used to.

“g’on,” rhett commanded, nodding towards you as he sat at the opposite corner, legs stretched wide and the drink still in his hand. “show me how much you really missed me.”

you started with a slow drag of your covered cunt against the material, biting back a moan as the cool leather of the couch created a dizzying contrast to the heat at your core. the leather became more slick with each pass, making it easier to grind into it.

you got lost in the feeling, closing your eyes and arching your back as you imagined it was rhett’s cock you were riding. breathy whimpered escaped your throat and your stomach knotted up at your impending release.

“daddy,” you whispered, neck craning to look at rhett. “can i please cum? i promise i’ll be good,” you pleaded.

rhett let out a mumbled curse before he started palming his hard cock, giving you a singular nod.

that was all you needed to pick up your pace, chasing that high that you desperately craved. it hit you hard and fast, your thighs shook and your mouth was agape with a silent scream. rhett groaned loudly as he watched you come undone.

it took you a few moments to settle. after you caught your breath, you just threw yourself back onto the sofa. your head landed in rhett’s lap as you looked up at him. the glow of the lamp brought out the greys at his temples and you could assume that he only had more because of you. not that you minded.

“this poor couch,” you laughed, fingers tracing invisible shapes along rhett’s thigh.

“it should be burned,” he responded, a dry laugh escaping him as well.

“i really did miss you tonight. we missed our show,” you said.

“m’sorry, baby. i missed you too. but andy almost saw my phone and i don’t want someone lookin’ at my lady like that.”

“i’ll be more cautious with the nudes i send,” you joked. which earned you a little love tap to your thigh.

“you’ll be the death of me, girl.”

#rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott x you #rhett abbott smut #rhett x babysitter #dilf rhett 4 ever <3 #damn this got away from me #i was possessed sorry

[mel-kusanagi]

save me peter b with beard..... save me....

#what peter b parker should've looked like if sony animation weren't cowards #dilf peter from the recent spiderman comics run got me on a chokehold #beard AND glasses? lord i am not your trongest soldier #also peter b canonically wears glasses in itsv in ONE time and that is all enough for me #peter parker #peter b parker #spider man #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #my art