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emiliehornby · 4 months

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i beg you (and you don’t understand)

pairing luke castellan x fem! child of athena! reader

synopsis luke knew you loved him enough to fight a war for him, but you should have known that history would eventually write you two against each other

warnings MAJOR spoilers for the lightning thief

author’s notes turns out i can’t go too long without writing angst!! so after listening to history of man by maisie peters, i had an idea and completely ran with it. writing this literally had me kicking my feet!! happy first fic of the year!! woohoo!! apologies in advance though lol

Luke had once asked you, “Do you ever think about what our lives would look like if we weren’t here?”

“Like at camp? Maybe a little too much. It’s not like we can do anything about it, but if I get the chance to be with you in every lifetime, it can’t be too bad. Right?” You smiled.

“To Tartarus and back?” He placed a hand on your cheek.

You leaned into him, “To Tartarus and back, baby.”

“Luke. Luke is the traitor.”

Percy’s words swam in your ears. You should have known it when he barely came back alive from his quest and looked for someone to blame. Heck, just last week, Luke had admitted he imagined a future with you, away from the burdens of being demigods. For the first time in forever, he had felt at peace. The signs had been right in front of you…yet you still didn’t see them coming.

Some daughter of Athena you were.

The campers occupying the infirmary came to a stop at Percy’s declaration. As the boy went on to explain how he’d been poisoned by a scorpion and exposed Luke’s vendetta, they hung onto every word. The question as to how the golden boy at camp came to be so angry at the world lingered in the air.

And you hated it.

You stood from beside Percy’s bedside, “Chris…go get Peter, Maisie, and Delilah. If anyone else wants to help, they can. But we have to look for him.”

“On it.” Chris nodded.

“You guys, stay here.” You told Percy, Annabeth, and Grover.

Percy failed to follow your orders. Instead, he staggered outside the infirmary while his friend’s pleas for him to stay were ignored. The son of Poseidon fell into step with you and screamed, “Didn’t you hear what I just said?! Why would you wanna find Luke after what he’s done?”

You turned around, “Because he would have done it for me!” Percy’s body bumped into yours. You reached over at his sides to stabilize him. An ounce of doubt in your own words sparked a slight burn building in the back of your throat. You tried to bite it back, only for it to be replaced with a heavy weight falling onto your shoulders.

“Then if anyone gets to look for him, it should be me.” Percy demanded.

You patted his hair, “And if anyone can get to his head, it’s me, Percy.”

“Where do you want us?” Chris cut your conversation short. Delilah came from behind him, handing over your daggers.

“You guys head towards the North Woods. I’ll be near the border. We’ll circle back at the Big House.” You placed one in your holster, nodding in the direction they were supposed to take. Your friends wished you luck and ran straight through the trees while you pointed a dagger at Percy, “I mean it. Stay here, you’re safer that way.”

You left without another word.

Amidst your search, you bumped into your siblings, who shared sympathetic looks, and other Hermes kids, who offered to accompany you. You insisted on treading this alone, a sense of obligation clouding over you to do so. Luke had been it for you since the beginning, and a twisted part of you didn’t want that to change. If you could just get a moment alone with him, maybe you could convince him the impending war wasn’t worth it. Maybe eventually, the Gods would get their punishments…

You didn’t realize how long you’d been wandering the forest. You dreaded coming back to camp without Luke, taking your time while the sky settled into a warm orange to guide you through your last round of the forest outside the border. You twisted a dagger around your wrist to keep you occupied, coming to a halt when a pile of leaves crunched from behind you. Slowly, you turned around to seemingly nothing, but the tracks in the dirt told you a different story.

You scolded your sister, “It’s not safe out here.”

“Then come back to camp with me.” Annabeth removed her cap.

You shook your head, “I- Look, I can’t.”

Annabeth tried to convince you, “Luke probably left as soon as Percy was poisoned. But the Gods will find a way to deal with him-”

“The Gods shouldn’t have to deal with him! If they didn’t just abandon us, we wouldn’t even be here right now!” Your sister’s face fell as you couldn’t help but raise your voice. When she failed to look at you, you shut your eyes and took a deep breath.

Gods, you just wanted Luke to come home to you. Was that too much to ask?

You waved her over, “Annabeth…come here.”

She listened and you wrapped your arms around her, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I just want to help. Luke was my family too.” Annabeth gave you a squeeze.

“I know, but you have to listen to me. Okay?” You pulled away to place your hands on her cheeks. For a second, you saw the shadow of your sister at seven years old, the age she was when she first came to camp. You looked her in the eyes to clearly instruct her, “Go back to the cabin. I just need a second.”

“I’m not leaving you here-” Annabeth frowned.

“I’ll be right behind you. I promise.” You reassured her.

Annabeth refused to take no for an answer, “Then I’ll wait for you by the border.”

You pat her head and gently pushed her towards camp, “Go.”

You had barely reached the border when you felt someone staring at you.

“When you said you’d wait for me by the border, I thought you meant you’d be behind it.” You joked around, thinking it was Annabeth.

Instead, a voice replied in the distance, “You know how Annabeth can be with loopholes.” You tightened a grip on your dagger, circling around to pinpoint where the echo came from. When you felt a rustle in the wind, you turned around sharply. The tip of the blade hovered just centimeters away from Luke’s throat.

Your stare hardened, “What’s stopping me from turning you in right now?”

“Easy. You’d never do that to me.” Luke cracked a smile.

You couldn’t even argue with him.

You feared to ask, “So it’s true…what you did to Percy?”

His silence was enough of an answer.

Luke tapped the edge of the blade and moved closer to you. His mere presence rendered you defenseless as you let him take the dagger from you and drop it into the dirt. You faltered when he tried to hold you close, one hand holding his wrist while the other punched at his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re okay.” He took the blows with ease.

You looked up at him, “Luke.”

He couldn’t stop himself from kissing you. His hand cupped at your jaw while you placed your hands on his neck. Like it was muscle memory, he took two steps forward to gently pin you up against the nearest tree. You deepened the kiss, feeling his pulse quicken against your fingers, savoring the moment. Luke was the first to pull away, but he only leaned further into your touch.

“Come with me.” He begged.

“Luke…” You whispered.

He tried to explain himself, “You have to understand…I wanted to give us a chance in this new world that’s waiting for us. I did this for us. So come with me.”

You forced yourself to face reality. You may have stood in front of your past and present, but you had to think about the future. This wasn’t Camp Half Blood. You weren’t playfully sparring for bragging rights or working on strategies in the Hermes cabin to win capture the flag. You lived in a world where a war between the Gods was imminent because of the boy you loved. This is what you had been training for, but you couldn’t do anything to convince him it was wrong.

So you pushed him away.

You yelled, “Annabeth! Chiron! Anyone?!” He spared you a glance before narrowly escaping between the trees. When he was nothing but a shadow, you will yourself to run off as fast as your legs could carry you. You didn’t care that your body felt like it was burning in the pits of Tartarus. You didn’t want to stop until you found a familiar face.

You turned around in case he followed you, even though a feeling in your gut told you that was it. You yelled again, “Annabeth- umph!” You collided straight into the girl, falling just behind Thalia’s tree. You groaned, rolling off of her and wiping your face. Annabeth sat up to check on you, making sure you came back unharmed.

“Annabeth?! Y/N?!” Percy ran in with Riptide in his hand and Grover at his side. You couldn’t help but laugh at the look on their faces.

“Are you okay?” Grover sat himself next to you. His gentle touch on your back turned your laughter into tears. They slowly fell down your face, burying yourself into your hands as you sobbed. Your sister and the satyr were patient while you worked through your emotions, both of them sharing a look before glaring at Percy. Silent expressions were thrown between the trio until a pointed look from Annabeth made Percy sit down in defeat. He used Riptide to draw shapes into the dirt while they comforted you.

You finally lifted your head up, confessing, “Luke asked me…he asked me to join him.”

Grover only asked what everyone hesitated to, “What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t- I can’t believe he would even ask that in the first place. I didn’t know what to do, so I just…I ran. I shouldn’t have run.” Your voice faltered when Annabeth gently wiped under your eyes. Afraid to go deeper into the subject if it meant accepting Luke’s fate, you nodded over at Percy instead, silent “You didn’t have to come in full force, you know. Thank you.”

Percy only shrugged, “Hey, you’d do it for me.”

“I’m sorry, Percy.” You apologized for snapping at him before you left. You apologized for Luke poisoning him. You apologized for the universe that brought him, a child, into this path he didn’t choose to take.

“Yeah, me too.” Percy was sorry it turned out like this. He was sorry for Luke hurting you, the one he loved the most. He was sorry about the Gods, who could have prevented this if they just loved their children a little more.

You broke his thoughts to beckon him over, “Come over here.”

Hesitantly, Percy obliged. When his feet touched yours, you yanked him down and brought the kids under your arms. They couldn’t help but lean deeper into you, hoping the love you had for each other would get you through the idea of a war you’d have no choice but to inevitably partake in. You pressed a kiss to Annabeth’s head, unaware of Luke, who silently watched you take the kids back to their cabins and turned to leave you behind.

One day, you’d find it in yourself to heal from the betrayal that blindsided you all. But you were his weakness, and it would only be a matter of time before someone took advantage of that. It wouldn’t be long until you met again.

After all, history had its eyes on you two.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson imagine #luke castellan #annabeth chase #grover underwood #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #stevie writes!

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froggibus · 1 year

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The Three Times You Share A Bed - Leon S Kennedy

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x reader

Genre: fluff, some light angst thrown in towards the end?

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: two times you sleep in leon's bed, and the one time he sleeps in yours

CW: roommate! Leon, kinda friends to lovers?, light angst, abandonment issues, paranoia, fear + insomnia, mentions of zombies, bedsharing, leon has intimacy issues (get therapy challenge)

OMG HAPPY RE4 RELEASE!!! I am SO excited to play once im done work this weekend! Leon looks so damn fine in the gameplay ive seen and i am going FERAL! pls no spoilers for anything new in the game! <3

RE4 remake spoiler free zone!! I have yet to play the remake so there are no spoilers in this!

————

The telltale clicking of a key in the door has you on your feet in seconds, abandoning the plush throw blanket on the couch. Before it even opens, you’re standing on the doormat. You feel a little silly, like a golden retriever waiting for its owner, but the shame is washed away when Leon steps through the door.

It’s been three weeks since you’ve last seen your roommate and best friend, and just as long since you last had company. He raises an eyebrow at the sight of you standing in front of him, the dark circles under his eyes becoming more prominent.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” He sighs and drops his backpack on the floor, locking the door behind him.

“How was it?”

You fight the urge to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and inhale his scent, knowing that’s not what friends do. Still, the feeling is there and if he went in for it, you’d reciprocate in a heartbeat.

He opens the fridge and beams at the fully stocked drinks and snacks. He cracks open a can of cider and leans against the counter. “Long,” he admits, “way too long. And my nose is still burning from the smell of rotten flesh.” You crinkle your nose at the thought. Leon’s never been much of a talker and most of his work being classified didn’t help. Whenever something wasn’t top secret, though, you were sure to sit there and listen no matter how horrific the details were.

You settle in on the couch next to the agent, listening to him drone on about a zombie-like creature that had peeling flesh and fifty eyes. You could vividly picture it from his words alone, and the image of the creature sent a shiver up your spine.

Leon talks for hours, spilling every miniscule detail of every horror he encounters. You stay the whole time, nodding along. Leon laughs at the way you scrunch your face in disgust or close your eyes in fear. He hates how cute you are, but he can’t seem to stop telling you stories. After many hours and a few drinks between the two of you, he’s almost run out of stories to tell.

Leon pats your shoulder gently, collecting his cans from where he’d set them on the coffee table. “I need a shower,” he states. “I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.”

“Go shower. You stink,” you joke and punch him in the ribs.

He feigns injury at your blow, pretending to suck in a breath like you’d really hurt him. He keeps up the facade the whole way to his bedroom, only leaving character when he shuts the door behind him.

It’s only when he’s disappeared that you realize how late it's gotten—and how dark. Even though your shared apartment is on the 19th floor, you can’t help but worry something is going to crawl through your window. You shake the thoughts away and get ready for bed, but every gust of wind and rustling of leaves makes you flinch.

You close your eyes and tug your comforter over your head, hoping that if there is something out there, it won’t know you’re there. You toss and turn for a while longer, staying dead quiet and pushing your fears away.

Finally, you can’t take it anymore. You take a deep breath, throw your comforter off of your shoulders, and sprint to Leon’s room. It’s like your brain is on autopilot—it knows exactly where to go to be safe.

You don’t knock on the door, instead quietly twisting the knob and slipping in through a crack in the door. Leon sits up as soon as your feet touch the wooden floor, eyes snapping towards your silhouette. He’s been a light sleeper ever since Racoon City, waking at the slightest of sounds.

He relaxes at the sight of you but only for a second. He glances at his digital clock, eyes widening at the time. “Y/n? What are you still doing up?”

“I-I couldn’t sleep…I feel like a flesh eating zombie is going to climb through my window and eat me.”

He chuckles. “That would be my fault.” He shuffles over in bed and pulls back the comforter. “You’re more than welcome to stay here for the night.”

You crawl into bed next to him, keeping as much distance between the two of you as possible. You can feel his body heat radiating through the blankets and smell his body wash on his skin. The feeling is new, yet so familiar it eases you instantly.

“Leon?”

He hums in response.

“Is it safer to sleep next to the window or the door? From like, a secret agent standpoint.”

“We’re on the 19th floor so window, but unless it's a hotel room, the door. You would more than likely hear it if they broke down the front door so you’d have more time to get out.”

You think for a second. “Can we switch places?”

“Honestly, y/n,” he laughs dryly, “the safest place to sleep right now is next to me.”

Your face warms at that and you nod, relaxing into his pillows. While you drift off to sleep, Leon watches over you. He knows nothing is going to come for you here, but he did promise to keep you safe, and he’ll keep that promise no matter what.

—

When you get home, you’re in a foul mood. You practically throw the groceries onto the counter before walking to your room and throwing yourself onto your bed. It’s been a long day. All of the stores were so busy you could hardly get through the aisles, and all of the people you encountered were rude.

Leon comes out of his room a few minutes later. Seeing the groceries abandoned on the counter, his first thought is to check on you. He doesn’t check on you, though. Not yet, anyway. He knows you’ll just be more upset if the frozen items melt and the milk sits out all night, so he sets out on putting them away.

After almost an hour of laying in your bed trying to recuperate after the day you’ve had, you’re snapped out of it by a text.

Leon: Come here, I have a surprise for you

You don’t feel like leaving your bed, but you force yourself out of it anyway. It’s not Leon you’re mad at. Leon is probably the only person in the world you don’t hate right now. You knock on his door softly, holding your arms behind your back.

“Come in!” He shouts.

You open the door, shuffling into his room and closing it behind you. Your jaw drops when you see a tray in the middle of his bed piled high with your favorite snacks, drinks and two wine glasses. Leon pats the spot next to him and you’re happy to oblige, relaxing onto the mattress.

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

He shrugs, pouring you a glass of wine. “It already seems like you had a bad day, I just wanted to do something to make it a little better for you.”

“Thank you.” He nods in acknowledgement, turning on his tv and handing you the remote. “You can choose the first movie. Just—maybe no zombies?”

You snort at that. Classic Leon, using his corny jokes to make light of even the worst of situations. You settle on an old favorite movie you love, handing the remote back to the blond and switching it for a wine glass.

Between your favorite movie, the delicious wine and your favorite snacks, your spirits are lifted in no time. One movie turns into two, and two turns into three. Soon enough, you’re dozing off in Leon’s bed.

He moves the tray of snacks and the glasses off of the bed to give you more room to sprawl out. Laying down next to you, he watches you sleep. A part of him wishes he could see this every night—the same sight he fantasizes about on even the hardest of missions.

He flicks off the lamp on his side table and settles in. “Good night, cutie,” he mumbles, knowing you’re far too deep in sleep to hear him.

—

You wake up in the middle of the night, moonlight streaming through the window and illuminating Leon’s bedroom. You’re still numb from sleep, your senses dulled just enough that it takes you a minute to realize that something is grabbing you. No, not grabbing—holding.

You blink a few times. Leon is laying next to you, his chest pressed to your back, his arms around your waist. You can feel the slow beating of his heart and the heat coming off of his skin. He’s so close it overwhelms you, yet it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

You think about slipping away but you know what a light sleeper he is, and you don’t think you could handle it if he woke up and saw how close you were. You close your eyes and try to calm the beating in your heart so you can fall back asleep.

When you wake up again, Leon is gone. Your body feels cold where his once was. You sit up—is he showering? He can’t be, the bathroom door is open. You sit up, letting the blankets fall off of you. You swing your legs over the side of his bed, walking out to the kitchen, but he’s not there either.

Did he leave to go get something?

You check your phone, expecting to see a text saying he ran out to go get more milk or something, but there’s nothing. You sigh, typing up a message and sending it to him.

Y/N: where’d you go?

You practically jump when your phone lets out a noise, but your heart sinks when you see what it is.

Message Not Delivered. Try Again?

You sigh. That can only mean one thing: he’s on another mission. Typical Leon, disappearing in the middle of the night to go god knows where for god knows how long. The frustration bubbles up in your chest and you feel like hitting something, but you don’t. It’s not worth it.

You try to keep your mind off of his sudden disappearance by throwing yourself into chores. You wash his bedding and make his bed, then wash your own. You sweep and mop the floors and vacuum the carpets. You dust the blinds.

It doesn’t help.

Your mind keeps wandering back to the fact that he left without saying goodbye. That he woke up at some ungodly hour, saw you laying in his arms, got up and left without another word. He didn’t even leave a note. He really cares that little.

You shake your head and even though the pit in your stomach makes you feel like not eating, you make yourself a sandwich regardless. Seeing the untouched groceries in the fridge just adds to the feeling.

Even though you know he’s not going to get it, you pull out your phone and start typing.

Y/N: do you at least know when you’ll be back?

Message Not Delivered. Try Again?

The message makes you roll your eyes. Leon fucking Kennedy.

—

A week goes by, and then two, and you still hear nothing from your roommate. You send texts here and there, hoping for an answer, but none of them go through. Eventually, you start venting to him through there, too. Expressing how frustrated you are that he didn’t say goodbye, how annoying your feelings are, how sometimes you wish you didn’t know him so you didn’t have to go through this.

It’s a random Sunday night when you’re sitting on the couch, watching trash reality tv and eating snacks. It’s cold in the apartment, but you can’t be bothered to turn on the heat. Only when your arms puff up with goosebumps do you scour the room for a sweater, settling on a random one hanging on the back of a chair.

It’s Leon’s, an old one from the Police Academy. His smell floods your nose when you pull it over your head, and it's so bittersweet you don’t know if you should laugh or cry. You settle back on the couch, but a rustling at the window makes you freeze in your tracks.

It stops for a moment, and you can almost convince yourself you’ve imagined it or it’s a part of the show—until it happens again. You scramble for the remote, pausing it so you can hear better. The noise starts again, and you waste no time in hightailing it to your bedroom and slamming the door behind you.

You flop onto your bed, trying (and failing) to remind yourself that it’s just the wind. That you’re safe here. But it’s hard when it’s late and you’re tired and you’re alone and the only person you feel safe with just abandoned you.

You curl up into a ball, pulling Leon’s sweater over your mouth and inhaling the familiar scent. It’s enough to calm you down, if only for a few moments. If you close your eyes, you can almost trick yourself into thinking he’s there, and for now, that’s good enough.

—

Leon knows he fucked up when he gets back to the country and turns on his phone. Almost fifty messages from you, each one more sad than the last. He wants to slap himself—why couldn’t he just grow a pair and say goodbye? Why did he have to be so noncommittal?

He reads every message on the cab ride back to the apartment, and his heart breaks for you. He didn’t think about how you would drive yourself crazy over him or how worried you must have been. All he thought about was getting the call for the mission in the middle of the night and not wanting to wake you up.

But he didn’t abandon you. He thought about you every day and god—he wishes he could have talked to you. Hearing your voice and seeing your face was enough to make everything better. With the horrors he’s seen lately, all he wants is to be back in that bed with you for one more night.

He’s quiet coming into the apartment, hoping he doesn’t wake you up or scare you. And even though he knows you’re sleeping, he’s still disappointed you’re not waiting at the door for him.

He tosses his backpack into his room and strips off all of his holsters and velcro. He’s quiet walking down the hallway to your room and even quieter opening the door. He relaxes at the sight of you curled up in a ball.

You look so cute and so peaceful and—is that his sweater? The sight brings a smile to his face. He closes the door behind him with a soft click, climbing into the bed next to you.

You wake up when the bed dips down and arms wrap around you. You’re so tired you don’t even care who or what it is.

“If you’re gonna kill me, can you at least let me sleep first?” You mumble.

You fully awake as soon as you hear Leon’s laugh.

“You’re back?” You say, and you hate the way your voice cracks.

You turn around to face him, tired ocean eyes meeting yours. He nods sleepily, “‘m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. It was stupid of me.”

“It’s okay,” and it really is okay. All the resentment you felt melted away at the sight of him.

“C’mere,” he mumbles.

You lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around him. You can hear his heart rate slow down at the contact.

“I just—I just need you tonight.” Those are big words coming from the agent, and they leave you completely stunned. He must have seen or done something horrible while he was away for him to be this vulnerable, even with you.

“You can have me tonight.” You try to keep your voice even, “you can have me whenever you need me,”

He kisses the top of your head. “But I always need you.”

“Then I’m always yours.”

Neither of you speak after that, Leon falling into a light sleep. You stay up a while longer, watching the blond boy rest beneath you. He looks so fragile like this, you can’t imagine him fighting off monsters and handling weapons. You kiss his collarbone through his shirt and let yourself fall asleep with him.

#resident evil angst #resident evil fluff #resident evil #re4 leon #resident evil 4 #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #x you #x reader

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staytheword · 1 year

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on my mind

on my mind — one shot request by anon [ masterlist ]

• han jisung x female reader.

• non idol au. roommates to lovers. mutual pining. drinking, mention of weed consumption, explicit language, explicit smut.

• smut warnings (spoilers ahead) — porn watching. handjob. oral sex (m receiving). thigh riding. fingering. use of "baby" pet name. protected sex.

• word count: 8.6k

You and Jisung are stressed over your upcoming exams. You need to clear your heads, but you can't find anything that works. That is, until Jisung suggests watching porn together.

• the prompt was friends "using" each other to take the stress out... I hope this will fill your expectations!! ♡

You slam your book closed, an annoyed sigh escaping your lips.

You can’t do this anymore.

You’ve been studying for hours. In fact, you’ve been studying for weeks preparing for those exams. Your eyes are about to melt, your body aching to move from your chair, your brain desperately seeking distraction. You’re sick of this. Sick of stressing yourself out, sick of only allowing yourself to think about what is in these books. The exams are still several days away and you’ll have time to fall back into your anxiety - for now, you deserve a break and you are going to take it.

Or you’re going to try.

It’s not the first time you tell yourself that - take a break, you deserve it. You close your books and computer, full of resolve, and escape the confines of your room. Each time you end up just pacing the apartment, unable to focus on the movie you’ve put on or the game you’ve started. Once you made it outside for a walk, but you had no idea where to go and ended up walking in circles. Your brain is so preoccupied with your exams you can’t do much else. You wake up and it’s all you think about - and before you know it you collapse on the bed, exhausted.

As you hear someone knock on your door, you blink and realize you’ve been phasing out. You shake your head, slide a hand through your hair - it has gotten too long in the past few weeks - and clear your throat.

“Come in,” you say, your voice a little rusty.

Jisung pokes his head in from behind the door. “Hey. You hungry?”

At least you are not alone. Jisung is going through the same thing as you, so you promised each other to do what is necessary to stay sane. Remind the other to eat, for instance, and then eat the meals together, even if it is in complete silence. You’re also very open about your stress, and you force each other to go out or clear your head. If he wasn’t here, you have no idea how you would get through this.

You hadn’t been sure about becoming Jisung’s roommate at the beginning of the year, but you didn’t regret your decision at all. Some of your friends had raised an eyebrow at you rooming up with a guy, but you trusted Jisung. You resembled each other in a few ways, but were different enough to keep the other on their toes. He was honest, hardworking, but also funny and open-minded. He bought your favorite snacks at the grocery store. He listened to you talk about your difficulties with building your thesis statements. He read your essay drafts and made useful feedback. He made fantastic homemade pizza. He was the best at impressions. He liked to braid your hair. Once he even restacked the pads when you were running low - that day you almost fell in love with him.

Almost.

You just had a stupid crush. Who wouldn’t? Jisung was not only kind and attentive, he was also incredibly handsome. Wavy dark hair that shone in the sun. A heart shaped smile that grew so big it swallowed your entire soul. Golden skin that was soft to the touch - you knew from applying a mask on him once. Wide shoulders, a lean and athletic body. You saw him do push ups in his room sometimes, or using the stationary bike you had in the living room. He wiped the sweat off his brow and gave you a smile, nodding his head to the beat of whatever song played in his headphones.

But Jisung was your friend, first and foremost. Right now, and up until your exams, he was also your ally, your lifeline. You remember, a few weeks back, when you both sat down in front of a bowl of soup and intertwined your pinkies.

We get through this together, you said.

Together, he repeated, his eyes deeply set in yours.

Now he smiled gently at you, his mouth a thin line, his eyes wide open but red and glassy from exhaustion.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I can cook something, if you want.”

“That’s ok, I got you,” he smiles. “Why don’t you rest? I’ll get you when it’s ready.”

You feel something tug at your heartstrings. “Thanks, Ji.”

With the sweetest smile, he gives you a little nod and disappears, carefully closing the door behind him. You breathe out in the silence, glancing back at your books. You could study a little while Jisung gets the food ready, but you are tempted to listen to him and lie down. A few minutes with your eyes closed couldn’t hurt.

You drag your feet to your bed, which is luckily not very far, and make the mistake of going under the covers. Your sheets are soft, your comforter heavy. The dim light in your room and the muffled noises of Jisung getting busy in the kitchen are so soothing you slip away quickly.

You wake up to a hand gently stirring you - you sit up in a jolt, blinking confusingly.

“Shit, what time is it?”

It feels like it’s been seconds and years. It’s definitely darker now, and your eyes are puffy with sleep, your skin a little tingly. You recognize Jisung’s silhouette in the darkness as he chuckles.

“I’m sorry to wake you up,” he whispers. “But you need to eat. Then you can go back to sleep, yeah?”

“R-right. Yeah. Okay.”

You throw open the covers and get out of bed, not even thinking about the fact that your hair must be a complete mess and your cheeks puffy with sleep. Jisung has seen you in worse states, anyway. You grab a hoodie as you follow him out of your room, one of your socks half slipped out from your foot.

“It smells really good, Ji,” you comment as you head to the kitchen.

He turns his head back to you with a smile. He’s wearing a red crewneck, gray sweatpants, and his slippers. You haven’t seen him out of such outfits recently, except for a few nights when he got dressed to go somewhere, but even then his style is always baggy. It’s for this reason you will never forget the one time he got dressed up for a date and wore a tighter shirt. That and the number of times you’ve seen him shirtless, of course. But that’s a whole other issue.

“It’s nothing fancy,” he says, gesturing to you to sit down at the kitchen island.

There is an actual table in the dining area, more than large enough for the both of you, but you rarely sit down there to eat. It usually serves as a storage area for random things like folded laundry, groceries, board games or books. Both of you prefer the kitchen island, perching atop the stools that you can twirl to your liking. Half the time you eat there, the other in the living room in front of the television.

Catching the sight of your hair in the kitchen window, you pull your hoodie on the top of your head and look down at the plate Jisung places in front of you. It is nothing fancy - pasta with creamy sauce, with chopped green onions sitting on top of it, but it smells absolutely delicious and makes your stomach growl.

“I think I’m drooling,” you state, glancing up at him. “I am so hungry, fuck.”

Jisung laughs, sitting down next to you with his own plate. “Parmesan?”

“Yes, please.”

He sprinkles some on your plate, and then on his, before you both start to eat in silence. There’s music playing on the speaker, a song you don’t recognize, and you ask Jisung about it. He tells you about this new band he’s discovered, and you quietly talk as you devour your plates. The sauce, smooth and peppery, is making your taste buds dance, and the food gives you a lot of energy. As you eat, the conversation gets more lively, and you suggest making coffee for dessert. Jisung agrees, and after you insist on doing the dishes first, he says he’ll wait for you in the living room. You hear the familiar song of a game he likes to play and get started on the dishes. As you put down the clean dishes in the drying rack, you sigh.

A nap. Homemade food. Jisung’s smile. All of these things reassure you, and make you feel peaceful - so why is there such a tight knot at the bottom of your stomach? Why can’t it go away, even for just a few hours?

You should study again after this.

Drink your coffee with your nose in your books.

You’re wasting valuable time.

You shut your eyes tight, taking a deep breath as you dry your hands.

When you sit down on the couch next to Jisung, near the edge of the cushion, not getting too comfortable, you put down his mug of coffee on the table and keep yours in your hands. He shoots you a quick glance.

“Thanks.”

You just smile back, a feeble attempt for one, but Jisung catches it. He glances back one more time, frowns. You wish you weren’t that easy to read. You wish you could take a deep breath and smile and he would believe it when you said you were fine. But you’ve never been very good at that.

Still, Jisung says nothing. He pauses his game, turns the spoon in his coffee mug to mix in the milk. You just stare at yours, the black coffee almost staring back.

“I should…” You hesitate for a second, then shake your head. “Yeah, I should get back to it.”

You stand up quickly, hoping to be able to run away before Jisung says anything, but you feel his fingers close around your hand. You look down at him in surprise. He looks at you with wide eyes, looking confused and maybe even slightly annoyed.

“Right now?” he says. “I thought you’d get some rest.”

“I did,” you shrug, nibbling on your lower lip. “There’s too much to do, and…”

“Y/N,” he stops you, shaking his head. “You need to take a break. We need to take a break.”

You part your lips to retaliate, but Jisung removes his hand from yours and pats the couch.

“Sit down, please.”

His voice is low, a little rusty. You swallow, your mouth dry. If only your chest didn’t feel so empty, your heart would be pounding in your chest.

“I know you’re anxious,” he tells you softly, playing nervously with his fingers. “I am, too. But aren’t you getting tired of, like… just stressing out?”

You chuckle a little bitterly, looking at Jisung. The light of the television reflects on his skin, mixed with the orange glow of the lamp. The circles under his eyes are dark. His lips are chapped. His nose is still a little red from the cold he had last week. You feel a pang of longing.

“Of course I am,” you sigh. “But we just have to get through it, right? We just need to make it there.”

He nods. “I know, but I’m scared of what we’re losing in the process. It can’t be healthy to just study all the time like we do.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

He shrugs, leaning back into the couch. His hoodie skirts up his stomach a little as he stretches his arms. You catch a glimpse of skin, of an abdominal muscle. It almost makes your brain glitch.

“I don’t know,” he breathes. “A distraction? Just for one night.”

When he sees your hesitation, Jisung quickly continues.

“I don’t mean dressing up and going outside and being social. Just the two of us, I mean. We can watch a movie, play games… get high.”

That makes you smile. “We don’t have any more weed since the cookie disaster.”

“Fuck, that’s right,” he laughs. “But it doesn’t matter. We just need to clear our heads, y’know? Think about something else. Be in denial about the exams. Like they’re not even going to happen.”

You take a deep breath, still hesitant. Your heart desperately wants to say yes, but your brain is holding back. The voice in your head, telling you you shouldn’t. You don’t want it to whisper your guilt back to you all night.

“Please, Y/N,” Jisung suddenly adds. There’s something in his voice that catches your attention. Sadness. Despair. “I don’t want to do it without you. We said we’d go through this together, right?”

You shake your head, staring down at the pinkie finger he is now holding up between you. He’s playing with your heartstrings and he knows it, but you don’t blame him. It’s working too well. There’s not much you would refuse him, anyway - but you don’t tell him that. Instead you smile and wrap your pinkie around his.

“Okay,” you say softly. “Let’s be in denial together.”

Jisung grins and you laugh, hitting his arm.

“It’s not fair that you used the wounded puppy eyes, by the way.”

“I would never,” Jisung says, shaking his head.

You take a careful sip of coffee, which is still a little too hot, but the warmth feels nice in your throat. Jisung grabs the second controller and presents it to you.

“You want to join?”

Although you are not very good at this game you agree, because you figure it will be a good way to start off the evening. As you pound on the buttons and try not to get Jisung killed in the game, you feel your shoulders relax. It doesn’t make the knot go away, but you do get a little giddy at the idea of not returning to your books tonight. That - and the perspective of spending the next hours with Jisung makes you a little more happy than it should. You already spend a lot of time together, so why would this evening be different? But it still feels like it.

Once the coffees are empty and the campaign is over, you and Jisung settle on a movie you both wanted to see for a while. You settle on opposite sides of the couch as you usually do, but you end up stretching your legs so much your feet rest against Jisung’s legs, and he doesn’t complain. He even puts a warm hand on your ankle at some point, distracting you a little from the movie.

The movie ends too quickly, and you end up in the kitchen cleaning the mugs and staring at each other.

“What now?” you chuckle. “It’s still early. Unless you want to go to bed…”

“No way,” he replies. “I want to make this last as much as possible.”

He is looking at you as he says that, his hair sticking out behind his head because of the way he was slumped on the couch for the duration of the movie, and your heartbeat accelerates. You feel a hotness on the back of your neck and you rub it with your hand.

“Then maybe we can… Take a walk? It’s not raining or anything.”

“Snack run? Then we can find something else to watch.”

“Sounds good.”

You don’t bother getting changed because it’s dark outside and the grocery store is just around the corner. Besides, you live in a neighborhood that is mostly composed of other students, so two people in sweatpants and hoodies isn’t uncommon at all. After getting plenty of snacks, you head back towards your shared apartment, talking in calm voices. The streets are not too busy, and it’s only slightly chilly. You glance up at the sky, walking slowly, your hand brushing Jisung’s.

At one point, you realize you are only talking about school and your exams, so Jisung shakes his head.

“We are so bad at this whole ‘think about something else’ thing,” he laughs.

You sigh. “We really are. God, this is hard.”

“We need to find a really good distraction. Something that would really, really disconnect our brains, like…”

He stops and you look at him with a frown. “Like what?”

“I dunno,” he answers a little too quickly. “We have to find something, is what I’m saying.”

“Yeah,” you agree in a whisper, glancing back at him curiously.

You could swear he is blushing.

“How about drinking?” he offers. “Not too much so we don’t get headaches, but a little. Being tipsy can maybe help us get inspiration.”

“I like the idea,” you smile.

Once you are back inside your apartment, your sneakers exchanged for slippers, you grab a bottle of soju from the fridge and fill two glasses. You and Jisung sit on the floor, backs leaning against the couch, and clink your glasses together. Jisung chooses a random movie on Netflix, and you watch it for a few minutes, unable to concentrate on it. After you’ve taken a few sips, you let out a sigh.

“You know what would be easier? If we weren’t single.”

Jisung arches an eyebrow.

“I mean, we could just call them,” you explain. “Get laid. Get a massage. Make out for hours. That would be really good distraction.”

“It would,” Jisung laughs. “Don’t you have someone you could call?”

“Like a fuck buddy?” you say. “Jisung, you seem to forget how excruciatingly single and bad at flirting I am.”

“You can’t be worse than me,” he smiles, taking another sip from his glass. “Last time I tried to get laid I got stood up.”

“She was a bitch,” you point out.

Jisung shakes his head. “I thought personality doesn’t matter when it comes to hooking up.”

“That’s not exactly true.”

“Like you’re such a pro at this, huh?”

You gasp at Jisung’s jab, shoving him with your elbow. “That was so mean!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs, holding his palms up. “I mean, if a massage would do it for you, I can try.”

You scrunch your nose. “Nah, thank you. I’m actually not much of a massage person.”

“How can you not be a massage person?!”

You keep talking and laughing, watching the movie sometimes, and for a while, you think that you’ve actually succeeded at clearing your heads. You feel lighter, distracted. The alcohol and Jisung’s laugh help a lot. But eventually you breathe out and realize that the knot is still there. Insistent. It almost feels like it’s getting bigger. Beside you, you can feel that Jisung is the same. His shoulders are tense, and his eyes, while fixated on the screen, are not seeing anything. You’re a little tipsy so you grab the controller and press pause.

“Ji, this isn’t working.”

He turns towards you, looking sheepish. “I know. I’m sorry…”

“We need something more drastic.”

He gives you a little nod, and you squint.

“What was the idea you had earlier?”

His head shoots up and you can see panic in his eyes. “What? What idea?”

“Don’t lie to me,” you tell him. “I know your idea face. You thought of something back there, when we were walking back.”

And there it is - Jisung blushes again, shaking his head vehemently. “Oh. Oh, no. It wasn’t… It’s stupid. It’s not - I just mean it’s… No.”

You turn your body completely towards his, drawing your knees against your chest. “Ji, come on. Tell me. I’m not going to judge.”

He gives you a timid look, and empties his soju glass before he clears his throat. You do not know why, but your heart is pounding in your chest.

Jisung breathes deeply.

“I was just thinking, that when I need a distraction, like… When I really want to think about something else, I…”

“Yes?” you encourage him.

“I jerk off.”

You stare back at him in shock. You should’ve expected this. You were an idiot not to catch it earlier on. It was a logical answer - and something you’ve tried yourself numerous times in the past couple of days. Slipping your fingers in your underwear, stimulating yourself. Watching porn. But when you did succeed at your orgasms, they always felt underwhelming. They never left you feeling appeased, just even more tense.

“Oh,” you breathe out.

“I told you it was stupid! I shouldn’t have -”

“It’s not stupid,” you shrug, and it’s your turn to empty your glass.

You’re not drunk. You’re just a little tipsy. It’s not barely enough to have this kind of conversation with your roommate - one you have a huge crush on - but it will have to do. You want Jisung to feel comfortable with you. And it’s nothing to be embarrassed of, right? That’s what people always say. So why is talking about it so hard, why is your heart pounding, why is the thought of Jisung jerking off turning you on so goddamn much?

Jisung blinks at you. “It’s not?”

“Of course not,” you smile a little nervously. “I… I do it too, when I want to relax.”

He visibly gulps, but you take it as embarrassment.

“Don’t we all?” you add, a little nervously.

He nods quickly, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Your cheeks are hot, horribly hot. You need some air. You need another drink. Ten, even.

“I mean, if you want some time alone…”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Jisung says. “I just, I mean, you know my friend Minho?”

You nod. “Yeah, why?”

“He told me about one time, he and his friend, I mean they were dating so it’s not the same, but they - hm, they… They watched porn together.”

It feels like you can barely breathe. Did it suddenly get very warm in your living room? Because your skin feels like it’s on fire and neither you or Jisung can look at each other directly.

“People really do that?” you say in a weak voice.

“Apparently,” Jisung chuckles nervously. “He said it was really fun, so… Yeah, I don’t know why I thought about that.”

There’s a short silence as you try to make sense of what Jisung is telling you. Is he just telling an anecdote, or is he asking for something? If you agree, will he think you’re crazy or weird? Maybe he’s just sharing. You decide there’s not much to lose. If you are misunderstanding, you can just laugh and pretend you’re joking.

Your voice is gentle, not very assumed. “You… you want us to watch porn together?”

Jisung shoots you a very panicked look and for a second you think you’ve just made a huge fool of yourself. But he opens his mouth and stammers out a yes.

“C-could be fun, I guess?” he adds.

You breathe out, your heart beating so fast you are sure Jisung can hear it. Surely, he can hear it. How terrified you are terrified at the prospect of watching porn with him. How much you never would’ve thought this could happen. How much you want to do it now.

“We really don’t have to, it’s just a stupid idea, and -”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Jisung looks at you. “R-really?”

“Sure, why not,” you say more decisively, giving him a tight nod. “We can comment on it and everything. Could be fun. I mean, it’s just porn, right? We watch it all the time.”

You realize your mistake too late, your smile faltering on your lips.

“I - I mean, I do, not all the time, but sometimes, like all people do, and…”

“You heard me that time, didn't you?” Jisung sighs, slamming his palm against his forehead.

You can’t hold back a smile this time - a genuine one. Jisung groans as you bite your lip, trying to hold back your laughter.

“Just say it,” he sighs.��

“I heard you that time.”

Jisung’s head drops forward in his hands and you chuckle, your shoulders shaking.

“It’s okay, Ji, it’s not -”

“The ONE time!” he cries out, looking up at you. You love the smile on his face, both embarrassed and amused, horrified and shy. “The one time I forget to plug in my headphones… I realized too late…”

“It’s fine,” you repeat, not thinking, and place a hand on his thigh to squeeze it briefly. “It’s just porn, Ji. And I know you’re into hentai, so don’t be ashamed, please. I like it too.”

Jisung looks at you like his brain is short-circuiting. “You - what - how do you know that?”

“I was in the room with you and Minho that time you talked about it, remember?” You smile. “Also, it’s the second time his name comes up in our conversation about porn, this is getting weird.”

Jisung shrugs. “Eh, the man is shameless. But you’re right, I remember now. God, that is embarrassing.”

“It isn’t,” you smile, twirling your empty glass in your hand. You don’t want to drink anymore - this is already too much adrenaline for you. “I just confessed I’m into it, too. Do you think that’s weird?”

“Not at all. I think that’s… hot.”

You smile, feeling your cheeks burn, but you do not know what to answer. Instead, you fill your lungs with air and gather your courage.

Jisung is observing his nails very carefully.

“So, shall we?” you say, trying to sound confident.

Jisung glances up at you, searching your eyes for an instant. You guess he must be looking for hesitation, or trying to figure out if you really want this or are doing it just to please him, so you just smile calmly, although you’re unable to hold back your nervousness.

“Let’s do it,” he answers with a sharp nod.

For good measure, you each pour yourself another drink, and Jisung gets his laptop to plug it so the browser is projected on the television. You wrap your arms around your legs, looking up nervously at the screen. Jisung’s fingers hover over the keyboard.

“S-so, is there a website you like?” he asks.

“Hm,” you answer, letting out a shaky breath. “Not really. You can go to the one you usually go to. If you’re okay with that.”

“Sure,” Jisung breathes.

It takes him a few more seconds but he eventually types in a website and you let out a giggle as the welcome page pops up on the screen.

“What?”

“It’s just - it’s also the one I use,” you admit, and Jisung grins.

“Really? I like this one because of the categories. They’re a little unusual but so much fun for discovering new stuff.”

“And the mobile site is so well made,” you add with enthusiasm. “Not like other websites which are impossible to navigate on your phone…”

“Ugh, tell me about it.”

You laugh, relieved that this is already easier than you thought it would be. Of course, you haven’t actually put on any porn yet, but at least you are learning to speak of it more or less comfortably.

A short silence follows as Jisung scrolls up and down the page, and you glance at the thumbnails. Schoolgirls. Medieval fantasy. Monsters. After a minute, Jisung lets out a sigh.

“I guess we just have to choose one,” he says.

You bite your lip. “Type in Labyrinth in the search bar.”

Jisung looks at you, but he still does it. You point out the thumbnail you recognize, feeling almost dizzy.

“I like this one,” you say in a very soft voice. “The story’s actually really good.”

“O-okay.”

Taking a sharp breath, Jisung clicks on the link and the video opens up. He puts it on full screen, and it feels different to watch it on the television. You roll your arms around yourself, feeling terribly shy, and Jisung sits on the couch next to you - at a reasonable distance, of course. You clink your glasses together and take a sip of soju.

It’s not so bad at first. There’s an actual story to this video that you enjoy, but you know it doesn’t last that long. You are terrified of what Jisung might say, that he might laugh at you, but you try your best not to overthink everything. As the sex scenes are coming closer, you realize you have not yet exchanged a word and there is still the embarrassing issue of actually getting turned on. You really haven’t thought this through, you think to yourself as the characters start to undress each other.

Oh, God.

Kisses. Fondling. The wet sounds of the guy’s fingers slipping into the girl’s dripping folds. You breathe in slowly - but there’s a reason you love this video. It really pushes your buttons, so you can’t help but feel your walls clench around nothing. You should think about something else. You can’t focus too much on this. But you’re already getting wet and your eyes can’t leave the screen because if they do, they’ll inevitably fall on Jisung.

Your friend. Your roommate. Your crush. Who is sitting next to you, watching your favorite porn video with you. Oh, God.

On the screen, the guy buries his head in between her legs. Licks her wetness as she moans his name. The images are one thing - the sounds are another.

You’re burning up, pushing your thighs together, trying to stay discreet.

As the girl’s pleasure builds, the subtitles translate her moans for you. Wanted this for so long, your tongue feels so good buried in me. That’s when you feel Jisung move beside you. Your eyes are instinctively drawn to him, and you catch a glimpse of his parted mouth, his red cheeks, his hazy eyes.

He has his legs propped up against him. You wonder if he’s as turned on as you. Maybe not. Maybe this isn’t doing it for him.

You focus back on the screen as the girl comes, squirting around the guy’s face. He chuckles, and asks her to suck his cock. She bends down to do it, and Jisung breathes out sharply.

“The- the animation’s really good,” he says weakly, and you are quick to nod.

“Yeah, right? The movements are really smooth,” you comment.

Jisung smiles nervously. “Yeah. I - I like it.”

You want to keep talking, but you don’t know what to say. The questions that burn the tip of your tongue cannot be asked, not really, not right now. You and Jisung are friends who watch porn together. You are not involved. You are not dating. This is just a distraction.

But now you are horny as fuck and getting tense. You need to relieve the pressure between your legs or you will go crazy. You can already feel your mind buzzing.

The girl is giving the guy a sloppy blowjob. He is groaning loudly, which is something you like about this video, and she hums in pleasure.

“The voice acting isn’t that bad, right?” you say. “I like it when we can hear the guy, too.”

“You do?” Jisung asks. “I thought girls didn’t like hearing us.”

“Oh my God, it’s literally the opposite,” you chuckle. “Hearing the guys groan and moan is the hottest thing ever.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Ji. Be as vocal as possible, I promise it’s going to make them come quicker.” You shrug. “I mean, I can’t speak for everyone. But it would do it for me.”

Jisung nods, and you both turn back to the screen just in time for the guy plunging his cock deep inside his partner, making her gasp in pleasure. The squelching noises are turned up, and she is visibly dripping all around him, precum and juices staining the sheets of the bed.

Yes, fuck me deep, your cock is so big, oh my god!

You close your eyes, shifting your hips in a desperate attempt to rub yourself against something, but there’s nothing to do - your cunt is just throbbing, and you can feel your slick drenching your underwear. You’re so hot, you want to remove your hoodie, but you also can’t move.

You lose track of time a little when Jisung’s voice reaches your ears.

“S-sorry,” he says in a breathy voice. “I can’t help it.”

You glance at him and notice he has stretched his legs. His gray sweatpants hide absolutely nothing of his erection and you stare at the outline of his cock, hard and thick. You could moan out loud at the mere sight, but by miracle you are able to hold it in. You had noticed Jisung was, let’s say, well equipped, but you did not expect this.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles.

“It’s fine,” you whisper, shaking your head, finally looking up at him. “I’m really wet, too.”

Jisung’s cock twitches under his pants and he closes his eyes sharply. “Fuck, don’t tell me that.”

“S-sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the porn on the television, your own arousal, your repressed crush for Jisung or the sight of his stiff cock, but you’re unable to think straight and the words come out of your mouth unprovoked.

“Ji, do you… do you want some help?”

The thought that you could actually touch him makes your mouth water. You’ve thought about it before, wrapping your hands around him. Closing your lips around his length. Licking him clean. Maybe it’s not as impossible as you thought. Maybe you aren’t that foolish to think it could happen.

Jisung stammers for a few seconds because he gulps. “A-are you really asking?”

You nod faintly. “I can jerk you off.”

He stares at you, mouth open. “I mean - If - if- if you’d like it.” He seems to catch himself, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “You don’t have to, Y/N, it’s…”

“I don’t mind,” you answer. “I - I’d like it, but only if you want to.”

“R-right. Hm, okay. But only if you’re sure…”

You just shuffle closer to him, kneeling beside his body. His smell overwhelms you, so him, his cologne and his soap, soju and candy, and your hands are shaking as you reach for his pants. You hesitate, though, realizing what you are about to do. You’re scared he doesn’t really want this, you’re scared of what it will change, but before you can start to doubt too much, Jisung slides down his sweatpants and takes his cock out himself.

“H-here.”

He holds it up for you although he wouldn’t have to. He is so hard it looks painful, veins bulging, slightly curved, pre-cum glistening at the tip. You bite your lip, pressing your legs together, and you’re sitting so close to Jisung you feel his breath in your hair.

You reach out and wrap your fingers around his cock. It’s warm and pulsating, and Jisung lets out a whimper. You move your hand upwards and downwards, getting used to him, barely seeing the porn that is still ongoing on the screen. All you hear are moans and the wet sounds of fucking and kissing, and it helps you not think too much about what is happening, like it’s not real, like it’s part of the porn. Your fingers slide up to his tip, smearing the pre-cum over Jisung’s cock, and you jerk your hand a little faster.

Jisung lets out a choked moan and his forehead falls against the side of your head. His arm slides around your body, holding you close, the other resting on the couch, gripping the fabric.

“F-fuck, ah, ah, fuck,” he whispers in your ear, and the sound is like the sweetest music.

Is Jisung enjoying this? You giving him a handjob while watching porn? This can’t be real. This is the hottest thing you've ever done.

“Is that okay?” you ask him softly.

“F-feels p-perfect,” he grunts, bucking his hips against your hand. “Y/N…”

The sound of your name draws a shaky breath from your lips, and your other hand grabs his thigh, squeezing it a little. You try to remain steady, intoxicated by the sounds coming from the television, Jisung’s noises, his cock around your hand, him fucking your palm.

“I’m n-not going to last,” Jisung whimpers, and you slide up your other hand to cup his balls. That draws a loud grunt from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N!”

“Hold on,” you whisper, feeling drunker than if you had emptied a bottle of soju by yourself. “I want to suck you off.”

It might be your only chance. You want to make this moment last - so you have something to think about, the next time your roommate comes into your mind. The next time you dream about Jisung being yours. The next time you tell yourself there is no way he can like you back. You can at least let him go knowing he’s come once around your hands, around your lips.

“Y-you sure?”

You nod, shuffling back on the couch a little, bending forward so your lips come into contact with his cock. Jisung buries his fingers in your hair, pulling them together to keep them away from your face. You kiss his tip, your right hand still moving, your left holding his balls.

“Holy fuck, Y/N… This feels incredible… I’m not…”

“Just let go, Ji,” you whisper, perhaps a little too tenderly.

You wrap your mouth around his cock, taking him in. You glance up to see his eyes roll back. You’re pretty sure the sex scene is over on the screen, because people are talking, but neither of you are paying any attention. You bob your head, licking every inch of him, and Jisung thrusts his hips slowly, fucking your mouth gently.

“I’m gonna blow, fuck, please, ah - ah, FUCK -”

He comes quickly and suddenly, his cum filling your mouth, salty and warm. His cock keeps throbbing between your lips, and Jisung is breathing heavily, his fingers still resting in your hair, all tangled. You take the time to lick him clean, gently, carefully.

When you sit up, his hand slides down your arm to your leg, and you look at him. He’s not moving, head thrown back, his hair over his slightly sweaty face, his clothes in disarray.

This is a sight you’ll never forget.

A taste you’ll never forget.

You feel something tighten in your chest.

You’ve fallen so hard for him.

“Y/N…” he breathes after a few seconds, raising his head to look at you.

His hands reach for you, and you let him. His hand grazes your cheek, the other gripping your own. You slide your fingers in between his, feeling a little shy.

“That was unreal,” he breathes, leaning in towards you.

He doesn’t kiss you, neither does he hug you - he just presses his body against yours, pressing his lips against your hair. It’s such a tender gesture you feel your heart swell in your chest and you ache for touch. You don’t expect anything. You want to run away to touch yourself, to fuck yourself thinking of him, but you don’t want to leave his warmth.

“Come here,” he whispers. “It’s your turn.”

Your heart skips a beat. You want to tell him he doesn’t have to, but he’s already wrapping his arms around you, bringing you closer. You end up on his lap, and instinctively you guide your legs so you straddle one of his legs, your core flush on his thigh.

The pressure, despite the layers of clothing, draws a moan from between your lips and you dig your fingers in his skin.

“Jisung…”

“Does that feel good?” he asks in a whisper.

When you nod, Jisung raises his thigh a little, applying more pressure on your cunt, and the wave of pleasure makes you arch your back and grind against him.

“Don’t hold back,” he breathes as you start to roll your hips. “Like you told me. Just let go.”

He places a hand on the small of your back, accompanying you in your movements. He breathes in your neck, warming up and tickling your skin, your cunt clenching tighter and tighter. His thigh is tense, pressing against all the right places, and you can’t stop moaning.

You push yourself up a little, pressing a hand against his chest, and you want to get rid of all those clothes, and feel him under your skin, but you can’t stop moving, and you are so close to coming.

Jisung is breathing hard against you, pushing his leg upwards, his hands massaging your waist, helping you move as you ride his thigh. “That’s it, baby…”

The nickname alone almost ends you.

He kisses your collarbone and you think you might explode. “You sound so good. I’m so fucking obsessed with you,” he says.

The words take your breath away. You shudder, your fingers squeezing his as you roll your hips a little slower. “You - what?”

It’s like he doesn’t hear you. “Baby, please, can I make you cum?”

You just nod, his words echoing in your mind, unable to be truly grasped as your orgasm builds up. His hand slides down your pants and he pushes his fingers under your panties, pressing them against your wetness. You let out a moan at the direct contact, feeling your body jolt.

“You’re so wet,” Jisung groans in your ear.

You can’t bring yourself to speak. You’re already so close to your climax that when Jisung starts to circle your clit, pushing his fingers in between your folds, it only takes a few seconds for you to come undone, breathing out his name. It feels like a tidal wave, like a power surge, like everything you have dreamed of. You feel him smile, his fingers teasing you until you have to grab his wrist and pull them away.

“S-sensitive,” you chuckle, unable to open your eyes, feeling drained.

He nods with a soft laugh. You can feel against your leg that he’s hard again, but he doesn’t do anything. He just looks at you as you try to steady your breathing, your legs trembling. You don’t want to move - he is so warm next to you. But eventually, you realize the position you are in, and so you slide off him. Jisung helps you, his hands guiding you back on the couch beside him.

You feel breathless, like you’ve just ran a marathon. Once your eyes are able to focus, you stare at the screen without really seeing it. You try to grasp what has just happened. You wonder what’s next. You are afraid.

“Y/N…”

Jisung’s voice reaches your ears but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. What now? Can you stay roommates? Can you even stay friends? Your heartbeat accelerates and you sit up on the couch, suddenly feeling antsy.

“I - I should… I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Y/N, wait -”

You know it’s unfair, but you ignore him and quickly walk away. You close the bathroom door, breathing out. And then the oddest thing happens.

You smile.

You giggle in surprise, putting your fingers to your lips. Fuck, you can’t stop smiling. You should be nervous, you should be terrified. But none of those feelings are lasting - you are only smiling like an idiot. Jisung’s words resonate in your head. I’m so fucking obsessed with you.

Sometimes things need to change. Sometimes they should. Sometimes they are meant to.

When you open the bathroom door again, Jisung is waiting for you on the other side. His big eyes are filled with worry, pleading, and fear.

“Y/N, please, listen -”

You don’t think. You just kiss him.

Jisung does not move at first, and when you take a step back, your cheeks burning up, he stares at you with shock.

“What are you -”

“I like you,” you blutter out. “I like you a lot.”

It takes another second, but Jisung’s lips curve into a smile. His eyes do not leave yours, but the light in them changes. Soon his heart-shaped grin makes your heart swell in your chest, and he’s picking you up in his arms and kissing you again.

You push him gently against the wall. “Please touch me again.”

You guide his hands on your waist, and he breathes hard in your mouth.

“I like you so much,” Jisung says, and his lips brush against your ear, making you breathe out. “I have such a massive crush on you. Never let myself act on it… I was too scared, you know.”

“I know,” you whisper back. “Me too.”

“I like everything about you,” he whispers. “Your laugh. Your passion. Your smell. Your skin… Fuck, you’re so gorgeous. You don’t have any idea how beautiful you are. How fucking sexy.”

You part your mouth wider, and he pushes his tongue against yours, playing with it, his teeth teasing your lips. His hard cock is pressing against you, making you crave him again, and you want to feel him inside of you, so deep you can never be separated again.

“Can I take you back to my room?” he asks in between two kisses. “I want to fuck you in my bed.”

You feel yourself throbbing and you can’t hold back a moan as you nod.

It happens fast - Jisung takes your hand and guides you to his room. You’re pretty sure the porn is still playing on the television back in the living room, but who cares? You only have eyes for Jisung.

You know his room so well. The smells, the colors. The desk, the blankets, the clothes. The stickers on the window. Yet it all looks different as you step inside holding Jisung’s hand. He draws you close, bringing you back into a kiss. You collapse against him, letting him guide you to his bed.

He lifts you like you’re a feather, laying you down, his body above yours. Jisung is quick to cover your neck with kisses, his wet lips smearing saliva on your skin. He removes your hoodie, palms your breasts, who are only covered by a tank top.

“Fuck, those tits…”

You can hardly breathe, loving each of his caresses. The sheets smell so much like him it’s almost overwhelming. After removing the rest of your clothes, he spends a long time kissing and licking your breasts, playing with your nipples, drawing hisses and moans from your lips. After a while you whimper in protest, because your walls are begging for him.

“Ji, please…”

His mouth breaks into a grin, and he comes back to push his lips against yours. He kisses you surprisingly tenderly, and you moan against his mouth, because this feels so right, so true. His fingers stroke your hair, your cheek, and your hands travel down his back and then upwards, lifting his crewneck. He removes it, and you arch your back against him, your nipples pressed against his chest, his lips ardently seeking yours.

Soon he is naked too, and as he keeps kissing you, his cock teases your wetness. From his shuddered breathing, you know he can’t wait much longer, and you squeeze his arm, hoping he understands your signal. It seems like he does, because he sits up a little, leaning towards his bedside table to open a drawer. He fumbles inside of it, muttering nonsense, until he finally pulls out a condom. You giggle and Jisung laughs with you, and you feel warmer than you ever have.

Once Jisung has safely put on the condom, he guides his cock against your entrance and glances at you.

“Can I - I mean - You sure?”

“Yes,” you nod.

You wish you could look at his length disappearing inside of you, just because you’ve desired it so much, but once Jisung enters you, your head falls back on the pillow. He goes slow, leaving you time to adjust, stopping when you breathe a little more sharply. It takes a minute, but eventually he fills you up, and you wrap your arms around him, breathing out.

“Are you okay?”

You nod. “Sorry. It’s just been a while.”

“There’s no rush,” he tells you softly. “We can go slow.”

You smile, pulling him into a kiss.

“Just tell me if it’s too much,” he breathes in your ear.

He starts to move, thrusting his hips carefully. Your body recovers quickly, though, and soon you can shift your hips alongside his, easing his movements. He fucks you gently and deeply, sending shivers up your spine, and you’ve certain you’ve never had sex like this. You breathe together, move together, moan together.

You take your time, your orgasm rising slowly and surely. You dig your fingers in his skin, shudder when you hear him grunt. You shift positions after some time, so that your legs can be wrapped more easily around his waist, and he’s so deep inside of you that you feel your walls throb with pleasure.

“J-just like that,” you whisper to him. “Fuck, I’m coming…”

“I can feel you,” he whimpers. “Come, baby, I’m so close too…”

You cry out in his neck, the sound slightly muffled, and Jisung follows you seconds afterwards. You feel every throb of his release. You’re still shivering as he looks down in panic.

“Fuck, I’m - I’m sorry, I didn’t pull out…”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. “There’s the condom, and I take the pill…”

He still looks worried so you kiss him, feeling at peace. You are safe, you feel safe. Jisung eventually relaxes, and after throwing away the condom, he slumps on the bed beside you, snuggling his head in the crook of your neck. His fingers brush your cheek to put a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I want to make you cum every day,” he says gently. “With my fingers, my mouth, my cock.”

“Hmm,” you smile. “I like that idea.”

“Yeah?” he grins. “I want to sleep next to you. See your face in the morning, the sunshine against your cheeks… Your arms wrapped around me.”

With every sentence he places a kiss, making you sleepy and perfectly awake at the same time, your mind consumed by the images he draws.

“I want to keep cooking for you. Make you smile. Drive you to the dentist…”

“Jisung, you don’t have a car,” you laugh.

“I’ll get one. And I want to get rid of those fucking doors between us.”

“Jisung.”

You open your eyes, grab his face so he looks at you in the eyes.

“Will you kiss me?”

Jisung pushes your hair away from your face and does exactly that.

Some time later, you smile.

You have not drawn the curtain yet, so the moonlight penetrates the window, illuminating the room in soft blues. You graze your nose against Jisung’s chest, listening to him breathe. He’s slowly falling asleep beside you, the covers drawn over your naked bodies.

“Hey, you know what? It worked. I haven’t thought about studying all night,” you whisper to him.

You hear him chuckle. “Hm. I don’t even know what you’re referring to. My head is completely empty.”

“So is mine,” you say with a laugh, planting a kiss on his warm skin. “I can’t even remember what day of the week this is.”

“I can only think about you,” Jisung replies, stroking your hair. “I like you a lot.”

“Me too, Ji. Me too.”

I'm so sorry for not updating as much as I used to. I hurt my shoulder pretty bad and couldn't write for a while, and now my head won't let me.

Let me know if you enjoyed this! Thank you for all of your support and love. ♡

taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @leedunno ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ; @alexis-reads-fics ; @luvsskz ; @beautifulcolorgarden ; @sensitiveandhungry

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backtothefanfiction · 4 months

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Nightmares

Summary- Felix reassures you when you wake from a nightmare

Warnings: nightmares, mentions of death, mentions of knife attack, fluff, mentions of drug use, movie spoilers

A/N: in my world Felix lives

Summers at Saltburn Masterlist

No. No. “NO!”

You finally kick yourself awake only to feel an arm tense around your middle and the panic you felt in your dream comes flooding back. You begin kicking and crying out more but the arm around you stays steady and sure.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay.” Felix’s voice coos. “It’s okay, you’re okay. It was just a bad dream.” He says, a soothing hand rubbing at your clammy back as you finally begin to settle, deep breathes desperately gulping down air to calm you. “It’s okay. It was just a dream.” He says. Just knowing he’s here and alive, not dead like in your dream was enough to help settle you.

You look around the room to ground you. As your eyes fall on the discarded golden wings from the night before you become tense again at the memory of the dream. So much for midsummer nights dream, more like midsummer nights nightmare. You were never touching drugs again.

“You wanna talk about it?” Felix asks as he continues to run soothing circles over your skin with his hand.

“It was Oliver.” Your timid voice finally said.

“What about him?” Felix asked as he brushed your hair away from your face, his fingers gently tucking it back behind your ear.

“He was killing everyone.” Your voice faltered as you once again looked to the wings, an image of Felix dead in the middle of the maze, an actually angel, placed itself back into your mind.

Noticing your fixation on the wings, Felix climbed from the bed. Grabbing the wings from the floor, he opened the window and threw them out before closing the window once more and climbing back into bed. His arms encircled you, holding you tight to his chest, as he snuggled you both back down amongst the pillows and bedsheets.

“He killed you and no one noticed until the following morning when we found you in the maze.” You quietly said against his chest.

“That sounds horrible…. How did he do it?” Felix murmured against the top of your head.

“He laced a bottle of champagne with cocain. It was a lethal overdose. It was so horrible when we found your body.”

You both sat in silence, both of you taking in the imagery of your dream before you continued.

“Venetia was suspicious first. The moment she started asking questions she was found in the bathtub having slit her wrists.”

Felix noticed how quiet and distant your voice was. He tried to shush you, tell you to forget about it, but you couldn’t until it was all out of your head. Proved wrong.

“He cornered me in the kitchen,” you said with a slight sniffle. The dream had felt so real. “He stabbed me. Plunged I knife straight into my stomach. When I was on the floor… he pinned me down- that’s when I woke up.” You said.

Felix had remained quiet the whole time you were recounting the nightmare. He felt how you finally relaxed once you had finished telling the tale back. “It’s okay. It wasn’t real.” He reassured, his soothing hand still running across your back, a chaste kiss to the top of your head. “Try and go back to sleep, he’ll be gone when we wake again.”

“Promise?” You ask behind sleepy eyes.

“Promise.”

#felix catton fluff #felix catton imagine #felix catton x reader #felix catton #saltburn x reader #summers at saltburn #saltburn imagine

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vilhelios · 28 days

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— IF YOU'RE THE SACRED SCRIPT, I AM THE HIEROPHANT.

( if you're the holy church, i'm gonna worship . ) ; the old, dusty tomes that amund gives you state that the lemurian gods are perfect, flawless beings. not a single scar or freckle adorns their skin, no emotion creases their hallowed faces.

cw: fluff !!! ; established relationship ! ; abysswalker!rafayel <3 + brief mentions of god of the sea rafayel; slight spoilers for rafayel's sea of golden sand and forgotten sea (?) myths + siren's song anecdote; i am the self-proclaimed ceo of lemuria world building (lemuria lore headcanons!) 💪 ; not beta-read !!!

" THE GODS ART PERFECT BEINGS — FLAWLESS IN FORM AND IN ESSENCE ; THEIR SKIN IS UNMARRED, NAY SCAR OR FRECKLE ADORNS THOSE DIVINE. NAY LINE OF EMOTION MARKS THEIR HALLOWED, PRISTINE VISAGE. "

"RAFAYEL?" you ask, your voice so loud in the quiet dark of night. a hum, a shift in the arms that hold you. "i heard that the gods are perfect."

“they are supposed to be, yes.” rafayel murmurs, hands gently carding through the strands of your hair. the desert is quiet tonight, not a single howl of wind, or a curious fennec fox or gerbil, race across the expanse of sand. the only sounds in your ears are the mingled breaths and synchronised heartbeats of you and your dear abysswalker, tangled beneath the sheets in your shared tent.

his blue-pink eyes stare, searching your gaze. the dark circles beneath them are prominent in the shadows cast by the silvery moonlight. you watch as he takes in a deep breath, and then exhales: "... what books did amund give you today, my love?"

"you know very well that all amund gives me are books and scrolls about lemuria," you huff, thinking of the stack of dusty old books the old man had shoved into your hands at noon, "which would not bother me, if he did not sneer so condescendingly while he gave them to me."

"alright, alright." he sighs, there will be things to discuss with amund in the morning, if the slight exasperation in his tone is anything to go off of. and then, he asks, voice gentle: "what did you learn about the gods, my heart?"

" OUR GOD OF THE TIDES HATH BEEN TAINTED. HIS SKIN HATH BECOMETH SPECKLED. HIS HEART HATH BEEN SURRENDERED. NAY LONGER PERFECT IS HE, WHO IS'T HATH, IN LOVESICK FOLLY, GIVEN BOTH LIFE & DOMAIN. "

"they say you are no longer perfect." you murmur, brushing your lips against his jawline, "using their definition, perhaps they are right. you have scars, and little beauty marks."

"the scars are inevitable. you should know it yourself, my heart." he sighs, solemn, "but they dissolve with us during each seamoon ceremony — i am not reborn with the scars of my past."

"and the beauty marks?"

he hesitates, a bit. there's a far-away look in his eyes that you've grown used to seeing. "they persist and accumulate." rafayel states eventually, as if it's fact, "new ones appear, but i never lose them."

"you never lose them?" you echo, and he nods.

leaning into him, you inspect his face as best as you can in the moonlight. your lips graze his cheek, right above where one lies below his eye. another lies at the tip of his nose, and you repeat the action, rafayel's breath hitching beneath your touch. another sits at the bridge of his nose, and you feel his eyelashes flutter against your skin as you continue.

"there is something about them, in the books." you start, a hand coming up to cup his cheek. rafayel leans into the warmth of your touch (after all, you think, grimly, a stray dog will take all the food it is offered, afraid to go hungry again), and you continue with a smile against his skin, "they say that they represent where your lover loved to kiss you, in your past lives."

rafayel hums, holds you ever closer in his arms, considers the thought. when he falls silent, you know he is aeons away; somewhere below the waves, somewhere thirty thousand years away—you patiently wait for his return, like the shore that welcomes a weary sailor home. a gentle kiss is pressed to right above where his heart should be, and another in the middle of his collarbone. it's instinct, second nature, as natural as the way waves lap at the shoreline and leave seafoam in their wake.

"perhaps there is some truth in that." he finally says, returned to your side from his reverie. he presses a kiss to your temple, a gentle smile against your skin, "after all, it seems you still do as you used to, even now. determined to uphold tradition, are you?"

( & aeons ago, beneath the waves, lies the first mark; the first bearer of sin in eden. a young god of the sea laughs, a rumble in his chest, as his beloved kisses right above where his heart should be. every touch is reverent, like tending to an altar. it is no wonder, then, that he entrusted his heart to such a devout worshipper — after all, it will be in loving hands. )

a/n : hi hi hi i think lnd needs to CALM DOWN with all the rafayel banners or i'm gonna intervene. quite rushed and not as deep symbolism woooo as the last one because i was in a haze.... abysswalker my beloved is as odd to write as usual but i think it's not too ooc... also this is just a little manifesting/tribute thing for my god of the sea rafa myth pulls today i want him to come home !!! i'm so so excited for the myth story !!!! good luck to anyone pulling! may the god of the sea give us his heart without us needing to open our wallets 🫧💕 if you sent in a request recently for the follower event, thank you! it'll still be a bit until i can answer them, but it shall be done !!! <3 will be crossposted to my ao3 if you prefer the fic being in actual capitalisation and in normal text!

update: i had to drag him home with 130 pulls ,,,, i also spedran the myth,,, guh buh,,, whadahell,,, someone please talk to me about them,,,,

#love and deepspace headcanons #love and deepspace x reader #rafayel x reader #rafayel fluff #rafayel headcanons #love and deepspace fluff #qi yu headcanons #qi yu x reader

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fuckyeahpedropascal · 1 year

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Near death experience: who does it best?

Joel Miller v Jack Whiskey Daniels

• Masterlist •

Stress: Joel v Javier

Holding a mug: Joel v Dave

Inhaling food: Joel v Pero

#pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal #tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers #joel miller #kingsman golden circle #agent whiskey #jack whiskey daniels #pedro pascal polls #fuckyeahpolls

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l0ve-dov3 · 2 months

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bedroom floor !

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚👒⊹♡

luke castellan x demeter! reader

summary: in which luke talks to his ex-girlfriend on a vacation with the senior campers.

warnings: just a naughty word or two :^

word count: 1.3k !

authors note: this one-shot is an ode to the song bedroom floor by sneaky peaches and the fuzz. definitely not sure about how i feel on this one-shot, but i tried my best to tie the ‘hopelessly heartbroken’ vibes of the song into this fic. can’t tell if it worked or not, soooo!

Luke sat in the back of a crowded van, listening to the loud chatter between his friends. It was summer, and the senior campers managed to get Chiron’s permission for a beach trip. This would be great, of course—for everyone needs a vacation sometimes—if you hadn’t broken up with him about a month prior.

It wasn’t exactly bad. You were far too sweet for a angry, heartless breakup like that. But Gods, did he miss you. I mean truly, deeply miss you, and he was hoping by now he’d be over it.

Spoiler, he wasn’t.

Because now, he was pretending to pay attention to Chris, more focused on you singing with Clarisse in the passenger seat.

“And he’s gone. How surprising.” Chris groaned, realizing that Luke was in his own little world. Silena chuckled, seeing Luke’s dazed expression next to Chris’ blank stare of frustration.

As a child of Aphrodite, and friend to the former couple, she often fell victim to Castellan’s bouts of love and sadness. She’d watched him ramble about how gorgeous you looked, wishing he could kiss you the way he used to. But, she had also let him lean on her shoulder, crying into the stars about how he’d follow you anywhere.

On the other hand, she knew how deeply it hurt you to break up with the golden boy. You had only done it out of fear, your recent nightmares pointing to a quest of some kind. You were scared. Scared of how the quest would turn out, and even more scared of how Luke may handle it, so you broke up with him.

You tried to ignore your guilt, but it kept coming back to taunt you. Your plan was to fix that today.

The car slowed to a halt, and the music was turned down, effectively stopping your singing and jumping. Clarisse leaned her elbow on the passenger seat, looking back to her friends with a smirk. “Alright bitches, our vacation has officially begun.”

The car filled with excited cheers, and in a mad rush to get out the car, everyone found themselves basking in the warmth of Jones Beach. The heat was refreshing, in a sense; a reminder that they were out of camp grounds and free to do as they pleased.

Y/n ran off to the edge of the water, her bags long forgotten in her excitement to be near the sea. She stood there, grinning at the waters edge, with a white coverup hiding her swimsuit from view.

“Come on Y/n, show us the swimsuit!” Clarisse whistled to you, earning a soft chuckle as she carried over your stuff. Since the breakup, you and Clarisse had become closer friends, jokingly flirting with each other and pushing each other’s buttons. You’d grown to find comfort in her mask of aggression, knowing that she was a true friend deep down.

“Don’t get too excited!” You yelled back to her, wiggling your shoulders exaggeratively and earning laughs from your group of friends.

As the laughing began to die, you untied your coverup, letting it drop to the ground dramatically. Clarisse and Chris whistled, Silena clapping and hooting in a bout of approval; but Luke sat there, eyes wide with adoration, trying—and failing—not to stare for too long.

You were wearing a light blue one piece, made with a perfect bow in the center of your chest. It hugged your hips comfortably, and he watched as you spun in a circle to show your friends the whole thing.

It was nothing revealing, nor outlandish, it was just such a reflection of you. The sweet, soft, bow-loving girl he always knew.

And he needed you, unlike anything in the world. He needed you now, and forever.

⋆·˚ ༘ *👒

The first two hours of your beach trip were spent splashing each other and swallowing too much ocean water. Most recently, you played water chicken on Silena’s shoulders, with Chris fighting against you on Luke’s. The ravenette spared glances at you every few seconds, making Chris lose to a solid push right to his chest. The boys splashed and laughed in a faux rivalry, throwing random accusations as to why they had lost, and you watched them lovingly as you made your way out of the water.

You decided you wanted to sunbathe for a bit, growing tired of the endless swimming and dunking your friends into the water. Sunbathing was much more relaxing, and it would give you time to read the book you’d been meaning to start.

Watching as you laid down on your towel, Luke slowly stopped splashing Chris. Even he would admit it was creepy, how often he stopped to look at you, but this time he couldn’t help but indulge. His heartbeat sped up with every passing second, wanting nothing but to walk through the sand and be with you. Wanting love. Wanting you. Wanting things to be normal again.

“Chris, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Chris shrugged, already knowing where his friend would go.

The child of Hermes swam up to the shore, anxiously walking up to the spot where you lay. You could feel his presence before you saw him, and your heart tightened as he took a seat right beside you.

“Y/n.” He said gingerly, trying not to let his anxiousness bleed into his words.

“Hey hero.” You sighed softly in return, sitting up to face him properly. You knew that he wanted to talk, and you knew you needed to. You made a mistake in breaking up with him, and he deserved to know. But, just as your lips parted, his own words came spilling out.

“I miss you, Y/n.” He began, taking a deep breath, “You were—and you still are—the best thing to ever come out of this shitty life of being a half-blood. You—You are gentle, and kind, and soft, and I can be slow with you. I can live and love slow with you.”

His words made your heart stutter, your breathing going shallow with the weight of it all. You looked down at your feet, tears threatening to fall, as he rambled about you.

“You are my angel, my flower, my sun and my stars. I would follow you anywhere, Y/n, but I have to know why…” He paused, swallowing any fear left in his stomach, “Why wouldn’t you follow me?”

His final words came out in a solemn whisper, one that made you shiver with guilt at how you’d hurt this poor boy. What you thought would help had only harmed the both of you, and now, you were paying for it; paying for the way he loved you so unconditionally.

“I want to, Luke.” You whispered, tears landing on your towel beneath you.

Luke felt his heart shatter. He watched as you wiped away tears stiffly, trying to hide the way you slowly broke in front of him. With a cautious hand, he reached up to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb the way he always did when you cried. His calloused hand felt like it melted into you, a sensation so familiar that it made you cry harder. You missed him. You missed this, and the way he held you.

So you leaned in, bringing a hand to the side of his neck. He looked into your eyes, tearful and soft, and planted a passionate kiss on your shaking lips. The butterflies in your stomach awoke from their slumber, and your lips molded to his in the same way they used to. You tasted like strawberries and vanilla, and he brought you in further to taste you just a bit more.

“I want to, Luke.” You breathed, “I want to follow you anywhere.”

#luke x reader #luke castellan #ex girlfriend #ex boyfriend #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #demeter #hermes #luke castellan x reader #x reader #beach trip #beach episode #aesthetic #longing

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turtletaubwrites · 2 months

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Misty Eyes ~ Part 2

Thank you so much @pinejayyfor this delicious request!!

Pairings: Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader, Doflamingo x Fem!Reader (Past)

Word Count: 3377

Misty Eyes Masterlist

Ao3 Link

Summary: Law can't trust you yet, so you do everything you can to prove yourself. Will your memories help or hurt you?

Author's Note: I'm really enjoying writing Law in multiple fics, so I can slap different vibes on him like he's trying on different shades of eyeliner 😅

THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Devil Fruit User Reader, Swearing, Eventual Smut, Angst, Pet Names, Degradation, Punishment, Emotional Abuse, DARK CONTENT, DUBCON, Grooming, Trauma, Past Sexual Abuse, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Dubious Consent, Donquixote Doflamingo is His Own Warning, Bondage, Other Additional Tags to be Added, Dissociation, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers

!!! SPOILERS !!! This story begins during the 2 year timeskip before the Punk Hazard Arc, and there will also be spoilers for the Dressrosa Arc for backstory lore

~🦩🦩🦩~

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I do, young master! You–”

“Now, now, Y/N. What did I tell you? You’re my pretty little thing now, so you get to call me Doffy, alright?”

His large hand cupped your face, warming your cheek that was already warm from his attention.

He’s smiling at me now. I’m special to him. I mean something to him, finally.

“Well? Are you going to answer my question properly?”

Doffy’s hand traveled down to your neck, long fingers circling your vulnerable flesh as he waited for you to obey him.

“Yes. I love you, Doffy.”

~🦩🦩🦩~

“Y/N?”

Law repeated your name softly until you returned, finding yourself in that metal room, a shrine dedicated to his hatred and rage.

“I’m sorry to have to ask you this,” Law rasped, dipping his face to meet your eyes. “I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through all these years…”

His brows pinched together when he caught your grimace, and his shoulders slumped.

Guilt pulled at his features, while you tried to understand which of the emotions inside you were worth focusing on.

“I shouldn’t have asked you that–”

“I don’t know,” you confessed. Your voice was empty, as if a machine were spilling truths instead of your own lips.

“I did love him. I know I did,” you continued, staring a hole through Law’s wooden desk. “I’ve been… feeling guilty for a while. Why am I not feeling that anymore?”

Your misty eyes looked up, almost pleading with him for an answer.

“Loving Doffy is the only thing I’m good at. The only reason he needs me. What use am I–”

“You are worth more than what he takes from you,” he growled, your eyes widening until the mist turned to tears.

Law relaxed his shoulders again, releasing a breath. Those tattooed hands cupped your cheeks, and you sighed as his thumbs wiped away your show of weakness.

“Y/N,” he soothed, his lips quirking before he continued. He dropped his hands away, and you missed their warmth, especially as those golden eyes hardened again.

“I don’t want to keep you prisoner, but as much as I'd like to, I can’t trust you yet.”

Nodding, you tried not to shake as fear rolled back over you.

“I can’t risk this mission. It’s not safe for me to leave you somewhere on your own. But if I let you roam the Polar Tang, interact with my crew… Especially when you can sneak into any room you like–”

“I would never,” you choked out, reaching for one of his hands on the desk. “Please, Law. I won’t betray you, I swear.”

He squeezed your hand in return, but shook his head.

“I want to believe you, Y/N. But we both know the power he has over people. You might not think you’d betray me now, but he’s been in your head your whole life.”

The weight of loneliness pressed your body down, your hand going limp in his. He squeezed it a few more times until you looked up again.

“If you're willing to trust me,” he started, his eyes a bit wide, “I have a way to make sure that I can trust you. It won’t hurt–”

“Hurt,” you whispered, wetting your dry lips as you waited for whatever he wanted to do to you.

“I can remove your heart,” he explained, pulling a key from his pocket to unlock the large bottom drawer of his desk.

With all of the gruesome things you’d seen in your life, you were surprised at the gasp you let out. Law had pulled something from the drawer, holding it up so that you could take a look.

It was a strange cube, almost glowing with blueish pink light. It looked squishy, and you reached out to touch it before you noticed the steady pulse. It was a beating heart.

“So that story is true,” you breathed as you watched it in fascination, “you really did steal all of those pirate’s hearts.”

“I did,” he nodded grimly, tucking that heart back into the drawer. “I’ve done a lot of things to prepare for this goal.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? You–”

“Take my heart. It’s not helping me out anyway, it might be good to have a break,” you laughed, trying to cover the hollow sound in your words.

Law stood, and you followed suit, his powerful voice vibrating through you.

“Room.”

You watched in awe as he created a blue sphere of light to fill the space before coming toward you with his sword.

“This is just a precaution,” he explained, his breath going heavy. “I won’t hurt you, Y/N. I'll protect you.”

“I trust you,” you admitted before you held your breath.

You couldn’t follow all of the emotions that crossed his face, until he drained them all away. He looked at you as if you were just a problem to be solved. A loose end to tie up to make sure his plan would succeed.

His sunny eyes were as cold and distant as the vacuum of space when he held the tip of his blade to your chest.

“Scalpel.”

You couldn’t remember the last time a weapon had hurt you. There was no need to worry about being injured in battle when you hadn’t left the castle in so long.

Doffy was the only one that could hurt you, besides the sea and its stone.

Nothing could cut through mist.

Law was so confident in his ability that you hadn’t questioned him. Instead, you tried to cooperate, somehow willing your body to stay solid so he could rip you open.

But the blade at your chest seemed as weak as your own abilities.

Until it pierced your flesh.

“You’re okay,” Law assured you as he pressed further, your gasping breaths slowing as you realized there was no pain.

“Would you like to hold it?”

Such a strange feeling, gazing at your own beating heart. The very core of your being, the thing that keeps you alive.

Sitting in the palm of your hand like a piece of fruit.

“What happens if I squeeze it?”

“It would hurt very– Y/N, stop!”

Law pulled your heart from your grasp as you fell to your knees. The pain was indescribable, radiating from your chest through your whole body, as if your veins were on fire. Nausea came as the pain burned through you, and you leaned your forehead against his desk as he knelt beside you.

“Why would you do that,” he questioned, almost scolding you like he would when you were kids.

“Most things can’t hurt me,” you choked out, tilting your head up to see his grumpy face. “I was just curious.”

He frowned before sitting on the floor beside you, pushing the chair out of his way as he looked you over.

“How are you feeling, Y/N? Have you been having thoughts of harming yourself?”

“What? No,” you exclaimed, sitting straight as the pain started to fade. “I promise, I just… I don’t know. I’ve never been handed my own fucking heart before. It was like an impulse.”

“You’ll tell me if you start having thoughts like that,” he requested after a pause, making you squirm with embarrassment.

“I promise, I’m sorry. I was stupid.”

Law helped you to your feet, then gripped your shoulder until you were caught in his serious glare.

“That was a stupid thing to do, but you are not stupid.”

You scrunched your face up, and sat down, itching to forget everything that happened in the last hour.

“This is just a precaution,” he repeated, locking your heart in that bottom drawer. You tried not to stare as he tucked the key into his pocket, but a sick taste of guilt hit your tongue.

I wouldn't need a key to steal my heart back. I could just mist into the drawer, and absorb it.

You gulped down the pressure to confess, to tell him to hide it somewhere else.

I’m not gonna steal it back, but I don’t know him anymore. I should be careful.

“Now,” Law cleared his throat, picking up his notepad again, “do you know anything about Doflamingo’s dealings with Kaidou?”

Your mouth opened, but nothing came out. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him. Everything just felt blank.

“I don’t… I’m not important enough to know anything,” you explained, the words burning your throat on the way out. “I’m sorry, I probably won’t be able to help much.”

Law sat back in his chair, tapping his pen against his lips while he assessed you.

I’m still fucking useless.

‘Can’t do anything on your own, huh? Just listen to Doffy, you’ll be the perfect little doll for me, alright?’

“Were you with him a lot?”

“What,” you coughed, your skin flushing to the tips of your ears.

“No, I– that’s not what I…” Law sighed, shaking his head to clear his own words away. “Did he have you with him throughout the day? During meals, maybe while he took calls or meetings?”

“Oh,” you said softly, noticing yourself going fuzzy again, staring into nothing as you tried to recall.

~🦩🦩🦩~

“I mean no offense, Joker, but shouldn’t we be discussing this in private?”

“Oh, don’t mind her, Caesar,” Doffy laughed, rubbing his hand over your back as you lounged in his lap. “She can’t do any harm.”

The scientist frowned at you for a moment. You couldn’t tell if he was wearing makeup, or if his skin really was that pale, his lips almost purple. He met your eyes before shifting his own away from you, and away from Doffy’s fingers that trailed over your thighs, your neck.

Doffy always touched you so gently when visitors were around, and you melted into him.

If not for Caesar’s grating laugh, you might have drifted off. Instead, you jolted now and then, Doffy’s hands clutching a little tighter.

~🦩🦩🦩~

“Are you al–”

“I remember something. Doffy sent Monet with a scientist, this weird guy with–”

“Caesar Clown,” he prompted, his brow arching a bit.

“Yeah. And I guess you wouldn’t know Monet, she joined after you…”

Law pointed to a picture on the wall, your gaze slow in following the gesture.

“I know of her.”

Your eyes were drawn to a shot of Monet, her wings curled around her as she read a book with those odd, hypnotizing glasses of hers. Memories of her disapproval hit you, a sigh escaping your lips as you tried to rid yourself of her judgments.

“She’s even more loyal to Doffy than the rest of– than everyone else. She’s almost obsessive. That’s probably why he sent her.”

Law’s body had gone taut, like electricity was running through him as he set his pen to the paper.

“Please, Y/N, tell me everything you can remember. Even if it doesn’t seem important.”

Your brain felt like a wet rag, with Law wringing out every detail of every call or meeting you could think of.

It seemed strange how much you could recall from your quiet perch on his lap. You were always so bored, but had to fight yourself not to space out or yawn.

Doffy’s possessive fingers along your skin were wonderful, your revealing clothing giving him so much access. As bored as you could get, those teasing touches in front of visitors prepared your body for what came later.

It was a relief to wet his thigh with slick before he dismissed the guests. He rarely had the patience to prep you any other way.

You’d spaced out on those memories, Law’s face pinching in concern as he watched your nails digging into your arms.

“Are you hungry? We can continue tomorrow.”

Groaning at the thought, you followed Law back to the galley. He didn’t have much luck in calming his crew this time. They surrounded the two of you until Law begrudgingly introduced you, and your hand was shaken by many greasy, steamy hands pulled out of gloves, and one bear’s paw that you were very hesitant to touch.

“I’m sorry about what I said before,” Bepo drawled, true sadness seeming to drip from his voice. “I just really love our cap–”

“Bepo,” Law scolded, and you turned to scold him back as the bear scurried off.

“How could you be so mean, did you see his–”

“Don’t fall for his sad bear eyes,” Law bristled, and you held in your smile at his discomfort.

“Is that something you’ve learned from experience,” you teased, earning you a scowl.

Law tucked into his meal, not meeting your eyes as he replied.

“I know my crew.”

“Oh yeah? They all seem to think you’re the most wonderful man in the world. Could the Surgeon of Death be a big softie?”

If looks could kill.

“Okay, sorry,” you teased between bites, “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“You do realize that I could take away your tongue if I wanted to,” he threatened, with what looked like the barest touch of pink gracing his cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sure you’d enjoy some alone time with it.”

Law raised his brows as you clamped your hand over your mouth, your face going hot. He looked too smug, his lips curling as if trying not to laugh.

“Shut up,” you choked out, putting your misty hands in your lap.

“I’m not the one whose tongue keeps wagging,” he taunted, somehow keeping that stoic air about him, just a hint of playfulness showing through.

You stuck that tongue out at him before focusing on your meal, and the low chuckle he let escape was hardly noticeable over the nearby conversations of his crew.

But you noticed it.

Warmth tingled through your body, and your face was still burning by the time he led you to your room.

“Will you be alright in here,” he checked in, standing outside the door to the small room he’d set up for you in the barracks. “The crew are on rotating shifts, so there will always be someone sleeping or getting ready nearby if you need anything.”

“Okay,” you said in a small voice. The realization that you were about to be alone in a cramped, metal room made your skin crawl.

“Are you o—“

“I’ll be fine. Thank you,” you lied with a smile. You were good at lying with smiles.

“Okay,” he nodded, clearing his throat. “I’ll, uh… I’ll come wake you in the morning, alright? We can have breakfast before we continue going over what you remember.”

“Sounds good,” you chirped. Your cheeks started to hurt as you waved him out, letting your muscles relax after he’d closed that heavy door.

Quiet.

Not completely. Clanging sounds of the sub interrupted the stillness. Soft voices floated in the hallway beyond that door.

But now that you were alone…

Thoughts. Memories. Fear. Shame. Guilt.

Falling back on the single bed, you choked out silent sobs, the flood of emotions slamming into you. You had left your world, dove off the edge of a waterfall, but now you were caught beneath the crashing water, drowning while your body was ripped apart.

What have I done? How could I leave the family? How could I betray Doffy?

I’m nothing but scum. Useless my whole life, and now I’m a traitor.

Your mind went in endless loops. Gratitude for Law taking you away. Guilt for betraying the family. Relief that you weren’t stuck in that mindless existence anymore. Terror that Doffy would find and kill you both slowly.

It hurt. Your whole body hurt, your head pounding like the clanging metal of the submarine.

And you couldn’t understand how you could feel your heart breaking and burning in your chest when it was locked up in Law’s office.

“Y/N, can I come in?”

His knock had sent you to the ceiling, your body spread into cowardly mist while you tried to calm down.

“Y/N,” he checked again, concern staining his voice.

“Just a second,” you stalled, going solid in front of the door. You shook yourself, wiped your tears, and took a few quiet breaths before opening the door with another beaming smile.

“What’s up?”

Law didn’t look at you like an old friend, an enemy, or a captain on a mission.

He looked at you like a doctor, and you tried not to squirm.

“What’s that,” you pointed to the lump of shiny fabric he held under one arm.

He coughed, looking down at his shoes before returning your gaze, seeming to rebuild that doctor persona.

“You’ve been through an intense amount of trauma, and the shock of… If you would feel comfortable, I’d like to sleep on the floor in here tonight, just to make sure you’re okay. I could sleep outside the door if you prefer, I just—“

He glanced down at your clenched fists, and you tried to relax them as he continued.

“I want you to feel safe.”

I’ll never be safe. I’m a traitor. I’m weak. I’ll be tortured before they kill me.

Doffy will…

The lump in your throat burned, and you filled the room with thick mist so he wouldn’t see you shatter, sinking to the floor as you clawed at your empty chest.

Law closed the door, calling your name as he moved blindly toward you. You could feel him in your mist, and you could have avoided him. You could have let yourself expand into tiny droplets of water, keeping yourself away from any care or comfort he could try to provide.

But you couldn’t think. Just heave silent sobs, and struggle through breaths that took in more mist than oxygen.

“Y/N– fuck,” he cursed, stubbing his toe on the bed as he waved his arms around slowly.

The mist told you that he’d gone to his knees, crawling close to you in the small space, but you couldn’t do anything with that knowledge.

Warm fingers found your arm, pressing lightly along to figure out what he was feeling.

“I’m sorry I’m touching you, I just need to make sure you’re alright,” he breathed, tracing along your shaking body until he found your neck. His fingers almost burned your clammy skin as he took your pulse before gripping your shoulder gently.

The way that you could see through your eyes was different than how you could see as mist, or through the mist you create, but you had no way to describe the difference. Through the mist, you saw him lean close, his head above yours as if he could see through the mist too.

“I’m here. I’m right here with you, Y/N.”

Time was impossible to track as you alternated between crying and dissociating, Law’s calm presence never wavering. Eventually, your mist cleared up, from exhaustion instead of choice.

He lifted your limp body, tucking you into the small bed before rolling out his sleeping bag.

“You don’t have to sta–”

Law interrupted your slurred words with a harsh glare, but sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not going anywhere, Y/N.”

His eyes seemed brighter in this dim room, his voice too soft, yet firm.

Staring into nothing, you felt numbness trying to take you again, but words jumped out of you before you drifted away.

“Why does it still hurt,” you accused, tapping against your chest with angry fingers, desperate to rip these feelings out. “You took my heart, Law. Why does it still hurt so bad?”

Somehow, more hot tears fell, your body too weak to keep tearing at the hole inside.

Law’s eyes trailed away, gone to some other time, some other place. When he came back to you, he took your hand in his, running his thumb over your knuckles.

“If I could cure a broken heart, I wouldn’t be able to complete my mission.”

His words felt as hollow as your chest. You managed to squeeze his hand, pulling in his distant eyes.

“So we can be broken together then,” you asked, your voice still hoarse as your lips lifted into a weak smile.

Law huffed a laugh, lifting your fingers to his lips before kissing his promise onto your skin.

“Broken together.”

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: I knew I was going to go crazy when I started writing for Law, and I was correct. I'm obsessed with this emotionally wrecked man 🖤

Tag List: @shewrites02 | @jadeddangel | @nothing-but-brass

Part 3

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

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dungeon-brain-rot200 · 29 days

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Dungeon Menshi spoilers:

It is interesting how in Dungeon Meshi, history of the Golden kingdom is a circle. A power fuel kingdom appearing out of nowhere, lead by a tallman in the world dominated by the long living races. Dergal and his ancestors even have some similarities in look to Laios. As well as Thistle and Marcille being elven court mages, with the fear of loosing their new family because of lifespan difference. And Laios court advisors (Kabru) being cautious of long living races plots the same way that court advisors didn't wanted for the Dergal father to have an adult elven mage in fear of them influencing the king in a wrong way. In general both Laios and Marcille are characters that do not fit their current society. Marcille uses dark arts, now forbidden yet once openly practiced magic, as well as her life span is closer to elves from centuries ago. And Laios while we can't say he would fit better in, in the past, well what about future? His fascination with monsters can remind us of cryptid lovers or even our days biologist! Humans in the past weren't studying animals and if someone would have this kind of hobby they would find it quiet strang I think.

I think this is also part of Dungeon teachings. In the end Marcille and Laios as well as Chilchuck (someone that really fits in the current world.), Senshi and Izutsumi (both not really belonging in the now, yet they don't fit into past and future either.) bring back an ancient kingdom and save the world. It is the fusion of what was is and will be that helps in this task, that helps to creat a better tomorrow. We can not reject the past, we need to learn from it (like Marcille learned from tragedy of Thistle life) and bring the best parts from it with us. We also need to be brave enough to break conventions and typical ways of thinking (As Laios monster fascination and his overthinking of their traits were the key to defeating the Winged Lion). But we can not forget those people of now and those that do not fit (As relationships with and skill set of Chilchuck, Senshi and Izutsumi helped to keep Laios and Marcille grounded and break the Lions hold on them). In the end it will help us to creat a better tomorrow.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #marcille #laois #senshi #chilchuck #delicious in dungeon #izutsumi #marcille donato

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2baabbies · 6 months

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🖤 You Should Think About the Consequence (Reader x Bangchan x Felix x Hyunjin) 🖤

Crossposted under 2Babbies on Ao3 <3

Part 2

Pairings: established relationship bangchan x reader, established hyunlix, reader x bangchan x felix x hyunjin, established minsung, background hyunbin mentioned, various hookups not detailed

Words: 7900

Summary: You have a crush on Felix and Hyunjin. Luckily, your boyfriend Chan does too. As much as you love pining together, it would be nice to let your friends know how you feel. (Inspired by Gorgeous by Taylor Swift)

Fluff + Smut + Humour

CWs: alcohol/reader is drunk at the beginning but there is no smut at this part, platonic undressing, groping without consent/reader likes it, slight exhibitionism, consensual voyeurism, dom/sub undertones, teasing, slight rough sex/marking, making love <3 mutual masturbation for hyunlix + spoilers they don’t fuck reader or chan (yet ;)))

~~~

“Naur.”

“Seriously, that’s enough.”

The giggles bubble up from your chest as Felix attempts to stare you down. His eyebrows pinch together and his eyes narrow, but despite his best efforts you see the smirk sneaking across his face seconds before he forces a pout.

“Naur.”

He grins.

“Stop. I do not sound like that.”

“Yes you do,” Hyunjin argues, which causes another round of laughter to burst out of you as Felix turns to him in astonishment.

“Wow, taking her side?”

“Her impression is impeccable, I almost can’t tell the difference.”

You squeal in delight and stumble into Hyunjin as you are racked with another round of laughter. He catches you seamlessly and drapes an arm around your waist as you let him take your weight. Felix tsks and shakes his head, then begins walking away as he unlocks his phone.

“I need to get you two home, I’m calling Chan.”

“Why?” You whine.

“Because you’re not making any sense, you’ve clearly had too much to drink.”

“Ah,” Hyunjin scoffs, “I had one drink.”

“Then you’re a lightweight, because you’re only being about as reasonable as the drunk girl.”

You blow a raspberry and rest your head on Hyunjin’s chest as he pats your hair.

“She’s a very intelligent drunk girl.”

“Mmthankyou.”

Felix shakes his head and steps away to make the call. You sway in Hyunjin’s arms for a moment, before craning your neck back to look up at him. He tilts his head to meet your gaze and smiles back at you. The distant chatter and muted music from the party happening upstairs swims in and out of your awareness. The lobby of the convention center, rented out for the company party, is empty aside from your group. Not even a desk attendant is present at this hour, but in your current state you are unable to remember why you would find your current situation embarrassing for any reason. You are pleasantly sloshed and only a little hot from the alcohol, and Hyunjin is rocking you close to him as he supports your unsteady legs. You feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

“Are you falling asleep on me?”

You giggle for the hundredth time that night and shake your head.

“Mno…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make Felix carry you out to the car.”

He winks and your heart stutters. How could Hyunjin be so charming? The golden glow from the lobby chandelier frames his head like a halo as he stares down at you with his soft, perfect, smile. Felix returns but you find yourself unable to look away from Hyunjin’s warm eyes.

“Chan didn’t answer, but Changbin is on his way to take us home.”

“He’s sober?” Hyunjin assures.

“Yeah, he hasn’t had anything to drink, he said.”

“I wonder where Chan is?”

You snort and let your head fall back as Hyunjin picks you up bridal style. He turns so you can see Felix, albeit upside-down.

“Why are you laughing now, Giggles?” The Aussie asks.

“I dunno why you even bother wondering… where Chan is- I mean at this point, I don’t.”

Felix seems surprised, from what you can register while looking up at him from your current angle, and helps Hyunjin put you in a standing position once again.The room spins in a circle before you realize Felix is turning you to face him. He cradles you in his arms and tilts his head to meet your eyes, much like Hyunjin did.

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin inquires behind you.

“What?”

“What do you mean by that, what do you think Chan’s doing?”

“What? I don’t know what. Working?”

Felix abandons keeping you on your feet and scoops you up, earning him an exclamation of joy. You drop your head on his shoulder and yawn loudly.

“When did you get so strong, Lix?”

He chuckles.

“I don’t know.”

“S’not fair… I hate it, you’re too cute to be carrying me around… Both of you are too cute…”

“Ah… Is that right?”

“Roight?”

Felix sighs.

“Okay. That’s enough.”

Hyunjin comes closer to study your drooping eyes and lets out a soft sigh of contentment.

“Are you tired, baby? Want us to tuck you in for bed now?”

“Mhhmhm… Like a baby…”

“Okay, we will. With a goodnight kiss and everything.”

You giggle and nod in agreement as Hyunjin pats your head.

“Oi, Changbin,” Felix greets.

Your head is too heavy to lift and you fail to decipher the hushed words spoken between Hyunjin and Changbin. You only become aware of Felix’s silence when his chest rumbles with his soft response and he passes you over to Changbin’s arms. You say nothing and allow yourself to doze off in favor of sleeping on the car ride home.

When you come to again Felix is the one jostling you awake. You blink around in confusion at the dim room then look at him.

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry, you gotta get changed.”

“Where am I?”

“Channie’s room.”

The bed sinks next to you as Hyunjin takes a seat. You grasp at Felix’s bare shoulders, shirt abandoned, bewildered that such elegant arms carried you home. No, Changbin carried you home, you think.

“Where’s Chan?”

“Not home yet, but he’ll be home soon,” Hyunjin answers.

“Can you put your pajamas on? You shouldn’t sleep in this dress,” Felix asks.

Your hands fall to the hem of your party dress then quickly yank it over your head. Felix catches the garment as you toss it aside as Hyunjin helps lead your torso into one of Chan’s long sleeves. You fall back as they work together to dress you in a pair of his sweats, then move you to the middle of the bed to tuck you in.

You groan softly and throw your arm over your eyes. Hyunjin moves it carefully and touches your forehead.

“Feel sick?”

“Mhm.”

“Was that a yes?”

“I’ll get her some water,” Felix whispers.

“Sit up again, hon.”

Hyunjin leads your arms around his shoulders then lifts you up by your back. He holds you there as you both wait for Felix to return. You nestle your chin in the crook of his shoulder and let his gentle breaths lull you to sleep. You drift back to consciousness as they coax you to take a few sips of water, the cold glass being a pleasant shock when it touches your lips. Hyunjin lowers you slowly and wipes a drop from your chin.

“Do you need anything else?” Felix asks.

“Kiss.”

“What?”

You slap your hand over your forehead then point there insistently.

“Oh.”

Hyunjin laughs and leans up to peck your clammy brow. Felix smiles against your forehead when he offers one as well.

“Anything else?” The Aussie whispers.

Your hand finds his cheek and holds it for a moment before you let it fall.

“Stay here?”

They murmur amongst themselves softly.

“I’ll stay,” Felix offers, “Until Chan gets home.”

You nod but your eyes have already long fallen shut for the night. The bed shifts and you feel Felix pull you into his figure as he curls up beside you. Hyunjin tucks the blanket in again and gives you another peck on the cheek before he leaves.

“Goodnight babies, sleep well.”

“G’nite, Jin,” Felix mumbles into your hair.

“Mhm, night…”

When you come to the next morning Felix is gone and Chan is sitting beside you, working with his laptop. He sits atop the blanket, only wearing a pair of sweats.

“Ngh.”

“Morning babe,” He chirps softly, “How’d you sleep?”

“Mhm… Too hot…”

Chan’s hand slides up from where it rests on your thigh and slips under the hem of your shirt.

“Take this off then.”

His eyes never leave the screen but his fingers tenderly caress your stomach as you struggle to pull his shirt off. They continue dancing there absentmindedly as he clicks through files and types with his other hand. You huff and toss the shirt over his head, successfully covering his face and causing him to pause.

“Something up, babe?”

He sets his laptop aside and flings the shirt away before rolling over to lay beside you. He props himself up on his elbow and leans over you as his hand moves to cup your waist.

“When did you get home?”

You trail a path with your pointer finger from Chan’s chest up to his neck, then trace the muscles there slowly. He smiles and tilts his head to rest his cheek in your palm as you cup his face.

“Not long after you. You and Lix were so cute.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I was a little jealous honestly. I carried Lix back to his room.”

“Boo.”

“Where was I supposed to sleep?”

“There’s room for three in your bed.”

He cocks his eyebrow and shakes his head.

“I don’t think so.”

“Did you make it to the party last night?”

He purses his lips.

“Not quite.”

“So, no?”

“I may have passed out in the studio. Changbin came and got me. And yelled at me.”

You sigh.

“Channie.”

“Hey, be a little thankful. You were doted on by two gorgeous angels thanks to my negligence.”

“I don’t think that’s the flex you think it is.”

He laughs.

“Hey, you know what’s really cute?”

“Hm?”

“Hyunjin got so flustered when I found out he was planning to spend the night in Bin’s room last night. Like we don’t already know they’re hooking up.”

You smirk as he rolls his eyes playfully.

“Ah, now I��m jealous. I bet he was so cute.”

“Freakin’ adorable even.”

“Damn.”

“You know… They only try to hide it from us because they think we’re not into that sort of thing…”

“I know.”

“So?”

“I don’t think I could face the guys again if they knew how I felt about them.”

“God, I know what you mean,” He sighs as he flops onto his back beside you.

Your hands intertwine as you stare at the ceiling. He brings yours to his lips and presses a chaste kiss to your knuckles.

“You and Lix were so lovely… You really fit together so perfectly…”

“Stop fantasizing about me with other men.”

He giggles and pecks your fingers and the back of your hand.

“And Hyunjin… he has a couple hickies on the back of his neck. I wonder if he even knows about them,” Chan ponders.

“He’s a cutie…”

“You know, Hyunjin likes girls too.”

“That doesn’t mean he likes me.”

“Everyone likes you. And Felix… well, he likes everyone.”

“Don’t get my hopes up, Channie.”

He turns his head to face you and you follow suit.

“I’m just saying… The option is there if you want it…”

“I do… It’ll just be a big change… I like how it is now, I don’t want to ruin it for us.”

“I know, but you won’t, baby. You’re perfect.”

“Gross.”

He scoffs.

“Just let me know when you’re ready. There’s no rush, and I want to do what makes you happy.

“And what if I want my workaholic boyfriend?”

Chan grins.

“You’ll always have me.”

“And you’ll always have me.”

He rolls over again to cage your body under his and brushes his nose against yours.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” You murmur as you lace your arms around his neck, “Even though you didn’t even give me a good morning kiss.”

He chuckles.

“Good morning,” You share a kiss, “I love you,” Another kiss, “I missed you.”

“G’morning,” You kiss again, “I love you,” You share one more lingering smooch, “You’re a dick.”

“Agh, because I missed the party?”

“Yes.”

“Oops.”

“You don’t sound apologetic.”

“Sorry,” He breathes before capturing your lips in his again.

You giggle as you separate.

“You lead the way. When you think the time is right… we’ll let them know.”

“Deal.”

You and Chan spend most of the day cuddling together, unbothered. It is not until much later that Jisung enters the room and interrupts your peace.

“Hey,” Jisung says sternly, “Stop that.”

Chan lays between your legs with his head resting on your chest. Your arms are draped over his shoulders as he works on his laptop, which rests in his lap. You have both fully dressed yourselves since the morning. You see his quizzical expression in the reflection of the screen before he answers Jisung.

“Stop… laying with my girlfriend?”

“Working. You said you would take a break today, what the Hell?”

“Oh, that’s easy: I lied.”

Jisung rolls his eyes and addresses you.

“You’re supposed to be helping us, stop enabling him.”

You kiss the top of Chan’s head and smirk as you catch his relaxed smile.

“No. He needs to make more money so I can be a trophy wife.”

Chan howls in laughter as Jisung stares in awe.

“You gold digger! Get away from him, he’s not your sugar daddy!”

You stick your tongue out as you pat Chan’s chest.

“You’re doing such a good job, daddy.”

“Thanks, babe,” Chan sighs.

“Ugh, no! Take a break! Now!”

Jisung slams the laptop shut and takes it away, leaving Chan grasping at empty air.

“Ah…”

“We’re watching a movie, get out there before I actually get angry.”

Chan makes a defeated noise and drags himself out of your embrace. You wink at Jisung.

“Thank you, Hannie.”

He blushes and shakes his head. You giggle and follow Chan to the living room, where the members are getting settled for the movie. Minho is on the couch, browsing through the options. Felix and Hyunjin are curled up together in an armchair, both scrolling through their phones. You grab one of the throw pillows and whip it at Changbin’s back, interrupting his conversation with Jeongin where they stand behind the couch.

“Hey, lovebirds, what were you doing in there?” Seungmin teases from another armchair.

“Nothing,” Chan protests, “Don’t be a pervert.”

“Were you having sex?” Jeongin asks.

“Yes,” You deadpan.

Chan turns to you sharply.

“No!”

“Crazy kids,” Seungmin comments.

“We weren’t having sex,” Chan scoffs, “Stop lying.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” You coo.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Would you prefer it if I called it making love?”

Chan scowls and gives up on arguing with you. Changbin swings the pillow back at you, which you catch with ease.

“She’s only with Chan for his money,” Jisung pipes up behind you, “She told me.”

“Yeah, I want to be a trophy wife.”

You hit Changbin with the pillow again and he cocks his head.

“I don’t think Chan’s old enough to have a trophy wife.”

“Ugh, you’re so rude.”

“Also, you could choose richer.”

“Well, how much do you make?”

Changbin smirks as Chan answers, “Not as much as me.”

Changbin finally takes the pillow and smacks you lightly with it.

“Can you guys stop flirting so we can pick something to watch?” Minho complains.

Changbin bites his lip and looks at Chan.

“Channie… Were you flirting with me?”

“Yeah,” Chan replies shyly.

You take the pillow, which Changbin still clings to with one hand, and hold it over your head as you grin at Minho. He holds up a finger in warning.

“I will destroy you.”

“In a pillow fight, right?” Jisung mumbles.

“What?” You question.

“Nothing…”

Jisung avoids your judging glare.

“You’ve lost your pillow privileges,” Changbin states as he finally pulls it away.

“C’mon…”

“So, what are we watching?” Chan redirects.

“Not horror,” Felix finally speaks up, his voice muffled where his face is pressed into Hyunjin’s chest.

Hyunjin hums in agreement.

“Let’s do drama,” Jeongin suggests.

“No,” Minho protests, “I’m not in the mood.”

Jisung gasps softly.

“My baby? Not in the mood for drama?”

“My life’s a drama thanks to you.”

Jisung whines and pouts as he drops next to Minho on the couch. The older sighs and throws an arm around him as he continues scrolling, and the younger quickly tucks himself into his side. The boys gently debate over what to watch and you resign beside Chan where he leans against the wall. He pulls you into his arms and rests his chin on your shoulder as you observe the others.

You still as your eyes catch Hyunjin staring at you from his spot with Felix. Felix seems unaware, focused on his phone as Hyunjin’s eyes remain locked on yours. You offer a small smile but Hyunjin has no reaction. You feel Chan's nose at the base of your neck and finally Hyunjin looks away. You shift a bit and close your eyes as Chan pecks a barely there kiss on your neck, then rests his chin on your shoulder once again.

They finally come to a decision and everyone moves to grab snacks from the kitchen and fill the floor with pillows and blankets. You collapse on the floor once the makeshift bed is made and yawn obnoxiously into the fabric, prompting Jeongin to poke your back with his foot.

“Hey, cut that out.”

“Wake up, the movie hasn’t even started yet.”

“Mhm.”

Jeongin gives up and walks away. You lay there lazily until the blankets shift beside you, and you turn your head to see Chan getting comfortable. He smiles and pats your head endearingly.

“Sleepy?”

“Yeah…”

“C’mere.”

You groan and move into a sitting position, then slump against Chan and the couch. He chuckles and pulls a blanket over you, then wraps his arm around your shoulders. Seungmin settles back into the chair he claimed earlier with a bowl of popcorn. The couch shifts as Minho and Jisung settle in behind you, and Changbin takes a seat at the other end.

“Hey, you stole our spot,” Felix whines.

Jeongin now occupies the armchair Felix and Hyunjin were snuggled in earlier and only grins slyly as Felix pouts at him.

“Mean maknae,” You scold.

“You can sit with us, Lix,” Chan offers.

Felix does little more to argue with the youngest and shuffles over to you and Chan. He easily wedges himself between you two and curls up in your direction. Chan helps him tuck under a blanket and offers him a pillow, which he drowsily accepts. You pat Felix’s head and let him rest a hand on your thigh.

“Hyunjin, get the light?” Minho requests.

The lights dim and you hear Hyunjin’s steps pause before he joins you on the floor. He sits next to you and throws a blanket over the two of you. He takes a moment to settle in and rests his head on your shoulder once he finally does. You feel his hand roam under the blanket for a moment, before it finds Felix’s where it rests in your lap. The two intertwine fingers there, concealed under plush layers.

Soon you feel them shift again, and you fail to ignore the way they brush their hands over your thigh. Their hands disconnect and Felix cups your thigh again, rubbing slow circles with his thumb. You inhale sharply, which seems to go unnoticed as his motions go on without break. Hyunjin’s fingers spread over your thigh, then squeeze gently. Your leg spasms in response, and Chan glances over. You swallow thickly as his eyes flit over the subtle, yet undeniable, motion under the blanket.

Chan’s arm falls from your shoulder and moves around your waist, then he presses a kiss to your temple. He rests his head against yours and continues to watch the movie. Hyunjin nestles his head further in the crook of your neck and slides his hand under your thigh, then slowly gropes there. This time is a bit rougher and your core throbs from the teasing. Felix’s thumb moves a bit higher up your thigh and you let out a controlled exhale to calm yourself.

“Are you-”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Minho,” You hiss.

His voice startles you at the same time his hot breath washes over your ear. Hyunjin lifts his head and draws his hand away discreetly while turning to glare behind him. Felix’s hand stills but remains where it is. Your heart pounds in your chest and you catch Felix and Chan both biting their lips to suppress their laughter.

“Sorry, are you using that blanket?”

Minho reaches past you and Hyunjin to point at one of the extra blankets on the floor, no doubt suspicious or aware of the tension growing between you. Hyunjin silently grabs the blanket and passes it to Minho, who mumbles a soft thank-you. You sigh and shove your burning face into Chan’s neck. Felix moves his hand a bit lower and pats your leg as he looks up at you with wide, gentle, eyes. Hyunjin casually yawns and rests his head on your shoulder again, but this time keeps his hands to himself.

Hesitantly, you slide your hand over Felix’s. He turns his over and caresses your fingers slowly. His fingertips follow the lines of your palm then slip down to your wrist. He soothes you with gentle touches then clasps your hands together once you have settled. You shut your eyes and will yourself to relax as the movie continues peacefully.

“Hey,” Chan’s soft voice in your ear startles you awake as the credits are rolling, “Everyone’s heading to bed now.”

“Oh, okay.”

Felix has already taken his leave, but Hyunjin is still beside you on the floor. He sits with mussed hair and a dazed expression, probably just coming to as well, and watches Chan as he helps you up from the floor. You smile at him and let Chan lead you back to his bedroom.

You stretch then sit on the end of the bed as Chan shuts his door.

“Was that okay?” He asks while kneeling in front of you on the floor.

“Y-Yeah, I liked it.”

“Good, I thought you did but I couldn’t…”

Chan allows himself to trail off as you lean in and kiss him. He hums softly and moves closer, pulling your thighs around his sides as he presses his hips into your core. You whine softly into his mouth and wrap your arms around his neck to draw him in deeper. You stay like this for a while, lightly grinding and trading heated kisses. Eventually, Chan breaks the kiss so you move to mouthing at his jawline.

“Oh, babe… You’re so… Fuck…”

“Hah… Hot, sexy, beautiful?”

“All of the above…”

He cranes his neck and lets you litter sloppy kisses where you please. He groans and pushes you back on the bed, then dives in to attack your lips. His hand slips into your pants and prods your heat gently, experimentally spreading some of the slick around with two fingers.

“Good girl.”

“Ahn…”

A knock sounds at the door.

“Come on,” You cry softly when Chan separates from you.

“I’ll be quick.”

Chan cracks the door open while doing little to fix his tousled hair or wipe away the sultry kisses you left on his neck. Someone speaks and he responds by throwing the door open and pulling them in by their shirt.

“Stay here. Where’s Felix?”

“O-Okay, uh,” Hyunjin stammers, “Bathroom?”

Chan steps out and shuts the door behind him. Hyunjin braves a glimpse at you then rubs the back of his neck sheepishly as he turns away. You smirk and sit up, wiping your mouth and combing your fingers through your hair as you study him. He toys with his fingers and sways uneasily where he stands. Chan returns with Felix faster than you expected and silently shoves him into the room before shutting and standing at the door.

“Oh,” Felix gasps when he sees you, “Um, what-“

“On the bed. Sit.”

Hyunjin and Felix share a look and silently obey. You grin wildly, admiring Chan’s authority. You cross your legs and lean back on your hands as the two settle at the end of the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Felix starts.

“Chan, if we did something wrong-”

“Quiet.”

Hyunjin’s mouth snaps shut and he stares in disbelief.

“As soon as I step away from this door you can go, but not a second before,” Chan crosses his arms and leans against the door as he speaks, “I know what everyone says about me. You all think I don’t know what you’re doing. Flirting, hooking up, checking us out, I see all of it. The only reason I’ve acted oblivious is to make her comfortable. I wanted her to be ready.”

You preen and watch him with admiration.

“I don’t have a problem with you putting your hands on her, but could you at least offer to give me the same treatment?”

“W-Wait,” Felix splutters, “Y-You’re not mad?”

“I’m furious that while you were feeling up my girlfriend neither of you made a move on me. Are you trying to kill my ego?”

Hyunjin bows his head and Felix laughs incredulously.

“We didn’t,” Felix reasons, “It’s not like we didn’t want to t-touch you.”

“We didn’t think you were interested, Chan. You… don’t act like her.”

You giggle and smirk at your boyfriend as his attention falls on you.

“Well?” You prod.

“You two can stay if you want, but we’re not putting our hands on you tonight. You can watch me and y/n, and that’s it; if that’s alright with you, love?”

Your body warms as you nod.

“Of course, baby.”

Chan smiles at you then turns to his friends.

“Your choice. Stay or go.”

He leaves his post at the door and drops on the bed in front of you. Felix and Hyunjin both remain seated but you are too enraptured by Chan to watch what they are doing. He tenderly cups your face and you pull him in by his shirt to complete the kiss. He chuckles and leads you to lay down again as he cups the back of your neck and begins kissing down your throat. You sigh happily as you fall back into a rhythm of kissing and grinding slowly.

You let your head fall to the side as you tug Chan’s shirt upward. In the moment he takes to remove it you let your gaze fall on Hyunjin and Felix. The cool light of Chan’s room washes over their delicate features and dimly illuminates their flushed faces. They both seem tense with anticipation, but at the same time are lounging together with ease. Felix’s lip is trapped by his teeth as he drinks in the sight of Chan trailing kisses over your neck and chest, while Hyunjin bashfully watches your reactions and curls his fingers in the bedspread. You gasp softly as Chan’s hands slide into your pants and tug at your panties.

“God, I can’t wait to have you.”

Your laughter turns into a breathy moan as he lowers your pants and presses a deep kiss into the v-line of your stomach. You pant softly as he strips you of your pants, then helps you remove your shirt. He resumes covering you with teasing kisses: from your chest, down your sternum, over your stomach, and finally between your thighs. You mewl as he avoids the wet patch growing on your panties, and scowl softly as he rises again.

“Don’t be a tease.”

“Ha, you’re so wet already.”

He presses his thumb against your clit through your panties and draws out a whining moan as he circles there slowly. Your voice is probably too loud for the late hour but you are unable to silence yourself.

“Channie…”

“I’m sorry, but look at you. Was that all it took? They barely touched you and you’re dripping.”

Your back arches as you moan pitifully. Chan takes his time pulling your panties off, savoring your desperate sounds and writhing figure.

“Chan…”

He spreads your thighs, quickly, given how pliant you are for him, and holds your panties up gracefully between his fingers.

“Are you watching? Do you see what you do to her?”

“Fuck, y/n…” Felix hisses.

You look at them and sigh softly. Felix meets your eyes easily, his lips are slightly parted as he watches you with a softness. Hyunjin’s gaze flicks away from your face for a second, then returns shyly as he watches you in silent distress. His palms rest over his crotch but he does little to relieve himself. Felix has a pillow clutched in his lap.

You prop yourself up and unclasp your bra, then let Chan remove it for you.

“Don’t you two want to cum?” You ask innocently while slowly tracing your bottom lip with your index finger. Your eyes wander over their busy hands thoughtfully, “Chan’s deal was that we weren’t going to touch you, he never said anything about touching yourselves’.”

“Fuck,” Felix growls as he digs his fingers into the pillow.

Hyunjin looks away and shyly gropes himself through his sweats. You bite your lip and glance at Chan, who watches them both with a pleased demeanor.

“She likes it when you do what she says.”

Hyunjin nods and moans softly, but hesitates to continue. He looks at Felix, who gently draws him closer.

“Come here, babe.”

“Lix…”

Felix slides his hands over Hyunjin’s abdomen, then into his pants. He whines at the contact and melts as Felix laps at his ear. Chan lowers himself between your legs and slides his hands over your thighs.

“No.”

He stops and looks up attentively then quickly rises to face you.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just fuck me already.”

He laughs and gives you a heated kiss.

“I want to make sure you’re ready, baby.”

“Don't make me wait anymore, Chan. Please.”

While your voice is steady your body is shaking, anxious for some relief from the tension. Chan notes your quivering limbs and kisses you again, sweeter than before, then he tests your patience.

“Do you really need it? I’m sure you can wait a bit longer.”

“I’m serious, Chan.”

“Then prove it.”

You huff and grasp his throat as you crash your lips against his. He groans and pushes closer, following your hand as it slides around his neck then up into his hair. He obediently falls into you and groans into your mouth as you fumble to pull down his pants with your other hand. He turns his head away, breaking the kiss, and helps you slide off his bottoms as you nip at his neck.

“Are you nervous, baby?”

“Shut up.”

Chan finally kicks off his pants and boxers as he laughs at your response. You smirk and suck roughly on his ear lobe as he sighs playfully. You groan as he leans away to grab a pillow, and tucks it sweetly under your head.

“So impatient, my love. Don’t you have any appreciation for chivalry?”

“Chivalry is dead.”

He kisses your forehead tenderly.

“Mhm, you’re so cute.”

He abruptly rolls you onto your side and grasps your hips as he grinds against you. You gasp and moan as he folds himself around you and slides his cock against your heat. Gently, he turns your head to look at Felix and Hyunjin while he speaks breathlessly in your ear.

“Did you forget we have an audience?”

Your eyes flutter as he nips along your jawline. Felix is curled around Hyunjin as he thrusts into the hand still concealed beneath his sweats. Hyunjin has a hand awkwardly tucked into Felix’s pants, palming him messily. They watch you with hazy eyes between messy kisses.

“Chan…”

“Look at what you do to them.”

“Oh…”

Your cheeks flare from the attention, the circumstances suddenly becoming much clearer. Chan kisses your cheek then murmurs into your ear, “I love you so much. I love you so, so much, baby.”

“I love you too.”

“Are you ready? Do you want me now?”

“Yes…”

Chan lifts your leg over his hip and enters you with a shallow thrust. You gasp and muffle your moans in your pillow as he pulls out, then gradually pushes deeper with each subsequent thrust. He buries his nose in your neck and groans softly as his body molds into yours.

“Does that feel nice? You like it, baby?”

You nod and turn your head to kiss him messily. He returns the kiss then breaks it. You brush your lips over the bridge of his nose as he murmurs against your chin.

“Look at them, baby. Jinnie and Lix are losing it over you.”

“Hah, Chan…”

You do as told. Chan peppers kisses over your neck as you watch Felix and Hyunjin, and they watch you back.

“Touch yourself,” Chan commands.

You whimper as you slide your fingers between your legs. You tilt your head back to expose more of your neck, and sob softly as his fingers join yours to play with your clit. He kisses your ear and murmurs sweet praises between each kiss.

“That’s right, you’re beautiful, baby. So wet for me, so good. You’re such a good girl.”

“Fuck, Chan…”

“You’re so perfect. My sweet girl.”

He prods your folds gently, stretching you open even more as he slips a digit in alongside his cock. His thumb circles your clit and you abandon touching yourself, opting instead to wrap your hand around Chan’s arm and cling to him. He sucks gently at your neck as his pace quickens and you feel your climax approaching. He rocks into you recklessly, his inevitable release signaled by his shaky breaths and pointed thrusts. You try to watch Hyunjin and Felix, but your eyes struggle to focus as you are blissfully fucked out.

“That’s my babygirl. You’re so good for me.”

You moan dumbly at the praise, smothered in Chan’s love as he compliments his deep thrusts with the softest kisses. This intimacy was familiar to you, but now so overwhelming with observers. It was the same love Chan always made to you, perhaps that was why he wanted the others to watch. In one way, he was setting the standard. How to talk to you, how to touch you, how to worship you. In another way, it was a message: this is what you are missing out on if you ignore me again.

You muffle your cries of pleasure in the pillow, although you had already been too noisy, and scratch your nails over Chan’s bicep. He groans as you clench around him and quiver from the intensity of your sudden orgasm. He slides his fingers from between your legs and up to your stomach, lessening the overstimulation a bit as he chases his own release. You crane your neck to give soft kisses and whisper words of encouragement into his ear. He keeps his face tucked into your neck as he holds you tight to him, now too far gone to manage a coherent sentence.

He makes a wrecked noise, somewhere between a moan and a gasp, and fills you up with his release. You reach your hand up to cup his head and kiss his temple as he pants through the afterglow. His cock softens and he drowsily pulls out, only to collapse into your welcoming arms shortly after. You trade lazy kisses as he catches his breath and lets his hands roam over your thighs and stomach. You giggle softly and cup his face while staring into his loving eyes.

“Mhm, good job, baby.”

He laughs breathlessly.

“You’re so gorgeous.”

Chan slumps on top of you and wraps his arms around your torso. You return his hug while tracing little shapes over his back. He turns his head where it rests beside yours to face the others.

“How you doing, boys?”

“Fuck off,” Felix jokes, “You cocky bastard.”

You giggle and rub Chan’s back lazily.

“Did you two come?” You ask.

Hyunjin makes a tired noise and Felix laughs. You look back at Chan as he lowers his head to rest on your chest. Hyunjin watches you with flushed cheeks and an expression mixed with shame and anticipation. A stain darkens the crotch of his sweats. Felix is lazing against him, his eyes shut and his cheek pressed against Hyunjin’s shoulder. His eyelids lift heavily as he looks at you and smiles.

“Good boys…”

Chan laughs at their reactions to your praise: mild shock and sheepish satisfaction.

“I didn’t imagine you two would be so into the praise thing,” Hyunjin mumbles.

Chan replies, “Oh? What did you imagine? Care to share?”

“Ha… Maybe another time…”

Chan rises up and you let your arms fall above your head as your eyes flutter shut.

“Not to kick you two out, but I have to get y/n cleaned up… She’s not going to stay up much longer, as you can see.”

“Mhm…”

“Ah, but,” Felix stammers, “A-Are we good?”

“We’re more than good,” You purr.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, Lix. You and Jin should get to bed.”

“O-Okay… Um…”

You pry your eyes open to look at Felix, who struggles to choose his words under your’s and Chan’s waiting gazes.

“Is it okay if we, um… Kiss goodnight?”

“Oh, Lixie,” Hyunjin breathes.

Chan grins.

“Well… I don’t know… I’m still a bit sore about earlier…”

“Shut up,” You chastise as you reach out to Felix, “Come here, baby.”

Hyunjin laughs as Chan stares at you, appalled. Felix grins and crawls across the bed, letting you guide him close to share a few tender kisses.

“Goodnight, honey.”

“Goodnight.”

Felix sits up and smiles smugly at Chan, who grabs him and begins tickling him mercilessly.

“Ah-AH! I’m sorry!”

Hyunjin shakes his head as Chan squeezes Felix in his arms. Felix pouts up at him and screeches as Chan wetly kisses his cheek.

“Ugh, no tongue! Please!”

You look patiently at Hyunjin, who looks away as he notices you.

“You don’t want to kiss me, Jinnie?”

“Ah… No, I do…”

“You’re so shy, you’ve kissed me before.”

“Not… When you’re naked…”

You both look at Felix as he gasps, he is still wrapped in Chan’s arms but now the two are sharing a deep kiss. You watch Hyunjin contemplate before slowly making his way to you. You smile patiently as he hovers over you, and slowly shut your eyes.

“Goodnight, Hyunjinnie…”

“Goodnight,” He whispers before planting a kiss on your cheek, “Sleep well.”

“Ugh, Chan,” Felix groans, “This is weird.”

“Why? What do you mean weird?”

“You’re naked…”

“I just let you watch me fuck my girlfriend, and since when do you have a problem with me being naked?”

You peek up at Hyunjin and gently caress his cheek as he moves away from you. Chan drops Felix on the bed and rolls his eyes.

“Get out of my room already, you little monster.”

You snicker as Chan turns his attention to Hyunjin, who lets himself be led closer to receive a soft peck on the cheek. Hyunjin’s face burns as he shyly returns one, then follows Felix up from the bed.

“Goodnight,” Chan sings.

“Goodnight,” Felix replies.

Hyunjin smiles at the two of you and waves as he and Felix depart. Chan looks back at you as the door clicks shut and exhales softly.

“I think that went well.”

You giggle.

“I think so too.”

Your eyes fall shut again as a yawn escapes your lips. Chan chuckles and leans down to kiss your cheek.

“It’s alright, love. I’ll clean you up, you can go to sleep, okay?”

“Thanks baby…”

By the time you roll out of bed the next morning nearly everyone has gathered in the kitchen for breakfast. Felix is making pancakes, Hyunjin is waiting at the coffee machine, Jeongin and Jisung are eating at the table, and Changbin is chatting with Felix.

“Good morning, nuna,” Jeongin sings as you take a seat across from him.

“Good morning everyone,” You smile at the soft chorus of voices that reply, “What’s on the agenda today?”

“We were just talking about it,” Jisung answers, “We’re split between staying in and going out.”

Seungmin shuffles in and hovers beside Hyunjin. Changbin delivers a plate of fresh pancakes to you and smiles at your surprised reaction.

“No, Binnie, you should eat these ones.”

“I’m good, I already ate.”

“I’ll take them,” Seungmin mutters.

“Ladies first,” Changbin argues.

“Wow, what a gentleman,” Felix comments.

“Thank you, oppa,” You purr, which Changbin waves off with a wink, “And thank you for making breakfast, Lix.”

“No problem.”

Felix shoots you a smile over his shoulder and you notice a soft blush on his cheeks. You smile and let your gaze linger until he turns away.

“Are you going to drink the coffee or just stare at it?” Seungmin asks Hyunjin.

“Oh,” Hyunjin mumbles, “I’m drinking it.”

Hyunjin glances over his shoulder as you giggle then quickly looks away, but you still see redness in the tips of his ears. The interaction does not go unnoticed. Jeongin and Jisung both glance between you and the boys and give you curious glares. Chan enters the kitchen with only a towel around his waist. His hair is damp from a recent shower, and the marks you left on him last night are on full display. He claps his hands together as Minho files in behind him.

“What’s cooking?”

“Felix is making pancakes,” Changbin replies.

“I’m next,” Seungmin cuts in.

“Noted,” Chan replies.

He stops beside you and kisses your temple.

“Good morning, gorgeous.”

“Morning, love,” You hum, “Did you sleep well?”

“Oh, the best.”

You giggle as Chan gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. You hold a bite up for him and he happily accepts it, then gives you a quick peck on the nose.

“Get a room,” Changbin heckles.

“Looks like they already did,” Minho mutters.

“Get some clothes,” Seungmin groans.

Chan rolls his eyes and leans down to accept another bite before stepping away. You continue eating your breakfast in silence then notice Jeongin silently trying to catch your attention. You tilt your head as you watch him try to discreetly mime questions.

“We were thinking of heading out for dinner tonight,” Changbin informs the room, “But how do you guys feel?”

Chan moves across the room to grab a glass from the cupboard, standing beside Hyunjin in the process. He drinks his coffee and averts his eyes. Jeongin points to the two then wiggles his finger between them.

“I’m good with anything,” Chan answers.

“Where would we go?” Minho asks.

You shrug, feigning ignorance, and Jeongin glares.

“What’s a good place that we haven’t been to in a while?” Changbin ponders.

Jeongin then points to Hyunjin then you. You smirk and scrunch your face up as you feign consideration then shake your head. He responds by raising his eyebrow and tapping his fingers together as you fail to convince him. Jisung looks between you then repeatedly gestures to Felix with his eyes.

“Wasn’t there an Italian place near here or something?” Chan answers.

“That place is always full,” Hyunjin murmurs, “You need to reserve months in advance.”

“Oh, true.”

“I mean,” Felix pipes up, “If we stay in I can just make dinner?”

“No,” Changbin protests, “You made breakfast, you shouldn’t have to make dinner too.”

You roll your eyes at Jisung and shake your head, but still smile coyly as they stare you down. You happen to glance at Minho, who is watching Chan from across the room. Your boyfriend stretches, showing off the muscles in his back, then takes his glass to the fridge to pour a drink. Hyunjin stares at the floor, but his fingers curl around the edge of the counter with visible strain.

The conversation continues in the background, but you find yourself distracted by Jeongin’s senseless gesturing. You realize he is pointing at your phone and pick it up to read the newly sent messages.

in: why is felix staring at you like that

in: did you fuck or what?

You glance at Felix, who seems to be sneaking glances at you as he converses with the others. Jisung leans across the table to peek at Jeongin’s phone and creates a new groupchat for the three of you.

js: tell ussss

js: ;(

You shake your head at them.

js: whyyyy

js: jinnie can’t even look at you or chan

js: we have to knowww

js: plus

js: lino saw them leave your room last night

js: sus af

in: you have to tell us!

in: it’s so obvious you guys did something

Jeongin and Jisung both pout at you. You sigh.

yn: they were with us last night

yn: jin and lix

in: what did you do?

yn: they just watched chan and I

Jisung’s eyes widen and his mouth makes an ‘o’ as Jeongin grins devilishly.

in: kinky

yn: that was it

js: so far? ;))

Jeongin snickers and you cover your face.

yn: don’t tell anyone

yn: >:(

yn: I mean it

Jeongin makes a lip-locking motion and Jisung nods solemnly while crossing his heart.

yn: also, I think your boyfriend is eye-fucking my boyfriend

Jeongin points to himself, confused, and mouths ‘boyfriend’. Jisung rather indifferently nods at you in agreement then shoots Jeongin a judgemental glare.

js: you don’t even have a boyfriend so she was obviously talking to me

in: oh right

Jeongin looks embarrassed as you grin at him.

“What the fuck are you three doing?” Seungmin interrogates.

“Mind your business,” Jisung sasses.

The other members seem to clue in to your absence in the current conversation.

“What were they doing?” Chan asks.

“I don’t know, but I think they’re texting each other.”

Changbin comes to look over your shoulder and you quickly lock your phone before slamming it facesidedown on the table.

“What are you talking about?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Changbin rests his chin on your shoulder and reaches around you to grab your phone. While futile, you attempt to wrestle it back by grabbing his arm.

“What’s her passcode, Chan?”

Chan smirks and shrugs as he watches you throw more of your weight helplessly against Changbin.

“I don’t remember.”

“Liar.”

“Let go or I’ll bite you.”

“You’re not going to bite me.”

You unhinge your jaw and clamp down on Changbin’s bicep, earning a startled screech as he abandons his mission and skitters away.

“You bit me!”

“She warned you,” Chan defends.

“It’s rude to kiss and tell,” Minho teases while shooting you a knowing look.

“It wasn’t a kiss, hyung!” Changbin argues.

“It’s also rude to stare, Lee Know,” You retort.

Minho smiles smugly and shrugs. Jisung grins at the two of you and hurriedly refocuses the subject on your plans for the day.

“Why don’t we just order in? That way none of us have to cook and we don’t have to worry about getting ready to go out.”

“What should we do in the meantime?” Felix asks.

“I’m going to do nothing all day,” You announce proudly.

“I like that idea,” Jeongin agrees.

“You have to practice being a trophy wife?” Seungmin remarks.

“I want to be the best.”

“I have work to do,” Chan laments.

There are multiple exclamations of protest and Chan throws his hands up in defense.

“I’ll be done by dinner, I promise.”

“Channie,” Changbin whines, “You’re no fun.”

“I think he’s fun,” You murmur while winking at your boyfriend.

He winks back and gives Changbin an ‘I told you so’ look. Changbin lightly bops the back of your head and points at Chan.

“Go to horny jail, the both of you.”

Jisung raises his eyebrows suggestively at you and Jeongin snickers into his hands. You brave a glance at Hyunjin, who is watching Chan with a fond smile. Felix looks similarly lovestruck. Your heart stutters watching them.

“Can I bring my laptop to horny jail?” Chan jokes, bringing you back to reality.

“No.”

“Aw.”

#stray kids fanfic #skz smut #skz x reader #bangchan x reader #felix x reader #hyunjin x reader #poly stray kids #bangchan x reader x felix x hyunjin #background minsung #background hyunbin #hyunlix #skz reader insert #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #skz x y/n #skz x you #stray kids polyamory

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mangoisms · 8 months

Text

circle k (back to you)

summary: in which you're just the graveyard shift employee at circle k bombarded by vigilantes.

━ chapter nine: i want to make it right | read chapter eight

━ pairing: tim drake x f!reader

━ word count: 5k

━ warnings: none

━ masterlist

Finally, for one last time, you surface.

Your senses are muddled, everything feeling hazy as you crack your eyes open. A gross taste lingers in your dry mouth and you try to swallow past it. Stiffness lingers in your belly and when you shift, it sends a piercing ache through you, so you stop moving, letting out a slow breath as you try to get your bearings.

The throb in your belly lingers even as you still. That, at least, hits you quickly. You were stabbed. Great. And here you thought nearly dying during the earthquake and losing your parents was the last time Gotham would hurt you. Looks like that’s not the case—you get to have your collection of scars just like anyone else.

The memories of what happened are fuzzy but… still in reach. Before you can focus on that, though…

Reaching up to rub the sleep from your eyes—you go for your left hand first, which tugs at the IV in the back of it, so you switch to your right hand, gingerly dropping your left back into your lap—you take stock of your surroundings.

You’re in a hospital room, of course. The blinds over the window tell you it’s dark outside. The light inside your room are dim, emanating from somewhere behind the bed you’re in, warm yellow unobtrusive to your tired eyes but still allowing you to see your surroundings.

The first thing your eyes catch are the sleeping figures in your room.

In a small cot in the corner is Steph, curled up beneath a blanket, golden hair spread out on the pillow. Her soft snores are easily audible over the mechanical hiss of the various equipment you’re hooked up to. Near her and a little bit closer to you is—

A man, asleep, whom you have never seen in your entire life.

But then, you look again, and you realize… That shock of red hair and tan skin looks awfully familiar. Handsome—not in a way that is attractive to you specifically per se, but an observation you can objectively make quite easily—and… familiar. So, so familiar.

You keep looking at him, slowly waking up more and more with each minute that passes.

Flash was here.

You know that. You heard his voice. His and someone else’s. A woman’s. His friend?

Is this… is this him?

The red hair feels like an easy enough tell but it’s the eyes, you think. It’s the eyes you need. You know Flash’s hair is red. A wild mop of it, windswept and ruffled most of the time—the same here. You know his eyes, too. Grass-green, twinkling with mischief or mirth or both, waiting to spring a joke on you. Visible with the type of cowl he has, one that reveals his hair, eyes, and lower half of his face. One might think it too much but considering that even you hesitate now to make that connection, you can conclude it does enough of a good job. To be fair, thought, the hard part—for you—is consolidating his presence, that he would be here—for you, unmasked and vulnerable. That… that’s something.

But still. Ignoring that, those implications… something inside you, something deep in your bones, is telling you that this is him. This is the Flash unmasked.

But you won’t know unless he wakes up. So, you move on to your last visitor.

On the other side of the bed, crammed into an uncomfortable-looking chair, is Tim.

Asleep, his head lolls at an angle that makes you grimace. Even in sleep, his eyebrows are furrowed. He’s closer to you, so you can see the circles under his eyes.

You watch him for a while, too, everything starting to come back to you.

The way he fought off that man. His interaction with Steph as Spoiler. The conversation you heard while asleep—conversations that are still blurry around the edges; the argument between him and Maybe-Flash is the clearest one, just because of the tension, their voices.

You take a deep breath.

Okay.

Your best friend, Stephanie Brown, is Spoiler.

It explains a lot. Odd disappearances, reoccurring tardiness, odd bruises and cuts, old aches and pains.

Those incidents weren’t isolated to just her, though.

God.

Of course.

Red Robin started visiting you around the same time Tim started avoiding you. When he kept saying he was too busy to hang out.

You’d put it together, if you’d continued to encounter both of them. But his avoidance distracted you from looking too closely at Red Robin. And of course, since you weren’t actively seeing him, it was even harder to put it all together.

You swallow, staring at Tim, hurt piercing your chest.

You just don’t understand why.

But in that next moment, you think you might be able to get your answer as he rouses, sighing, straightening his head.

You watch with bated breath as he rubs his eyes, then one hand goes to his neck, rubbing at the crick that no doubt formed from the angle.

Then he lifts his head and his eyes meet yours.

It’s been so long, you realize. So long since you’ve seen him, face to face. Last night (was it last night? God, you have no idea how long you’ve been out) doesn’t count. Neither does the day before, at the ice cream parlor.

But here he is.

Dark hair falling over his forehead, messier than usual, like he’s run his hand through it constantly, circles under his eyes, long, dark lashes fluttering as he blinks at you, lips parting in surprise.

Finally.

It’s contradicting, the way the sight of him makes you want to pull him close but also makes you ache, reminding you of the hurt, of all that he’s done.

How he lied to you and you can’t find anything that would justify that.

The entire time.

The emotions surge inside you, uncontrollable.

Your eyes sting, vision blurring with tears, and all you can choke out is, “Why? Why did you lie? Why did you do that?”

Your tears spill over. You’re too caught up to feel embarrassed.

His face crumples. “I don’t know,” he whispers, voice cracking on the last word. “I just. I don’t know. You were avoiding me and I…”

“Thought it was a good idea to see me as Red Robin?” you ask, voice thick. “How does that make any sense, Tim?”

He opens his mouth, then closes it. Hesitating.

What, mulling over another lie to feed you?

The thought is acerbic and mean and unfamiliar—a way you’ve never quite felt towards him and that realization hurts, too.

“Tell me the truth.”

He looks away, hands clenched in his lap. The knuckles of his right hand are bruised, red and swollen.

“It was… it was easier to talk to you that way…”

“What?”

Something cracks inside of you.

“You’re joking.”

Your head whips to the side.

Your other visitor, the one who may be Flash but also maybe not, is awake, sitting up, grass-green eyes narrowed in on Tim and oh, yeah, that’s Flash alright. You know his eyes, you know his hair, you know his face, and you know the anger sitting in his body, tension tight—you recognize it, from when the two of you talked and he was bothered about everything that’d happened to you.

But even with that, the animosity in him—on your behalf—surprises you. The air in the room thickens with something… odd, fine hairs on your arms standing on-end and you could’ve sworn the light behind you just flickered.

“Flash?” Your voice cracks on the word.

His eyes meet yours, softening considerably. “Hey, kiddo.”

It is him.

His eyes slide back to Tim and the anger returns. “Tell the truth, Tim. Stop digging yourself deeper.”

“I…” The way he trails off snags your attention again. Still hesitating. No, refusing. But…

“What do you even mean by that?” you ask, voice trembling, looking at Tim.

He doesn’t look at you, opening and closing his mouth a couple times, eyes darting around anxiously.

Did he…?

Did he figure it out?

It was easier to talk to you that way.

Humiliation bubbles hot in your chest. You squeeze your eyes shut, bringing your hands to your face as more tears spill over.

You can’t do this.

Tim whispers your name, sounding so pained, so agonized, it tears at you. But what does he have to be hurt about?

“J-Just get out.”

Silence.

“What?” he croaks.

“Just get out!” Your voice raises. In the corner, Steph jerks awake. You ignore her, you ignore Flash’s arm sliding around you, his quiet murmur to Take it easy, kiddo, you’re gonna hurt yourself.

You look at Tim. He looks back at you.

“Haven’t you humiliated me enough? If—if you were uncomfortable with my feelings, you should’ve said something! Not—do that! I messed up, too, I know that but—dammit…” you stop, turning away again.

“That’s not why,” Tim whispers.

You shake your head, burying your face in Flash’s chest. You don’t want to hear it, you don’t want to hear why he felt it was easier to talk to you as Red Robin, a vigilante you previously had no interactions with, rather than himself. Tim Drake, your best friend for over two years.

He whispers your name. “I did it… because of my own feelings.”

Your breathing stutters. The room falls so silent, you can hear a dog barking somewhere outside and the familiar sound of a wailing ambulance making its way through the city.

Slowly, you turn back to him. Flash keeps an arm around you, though, fingers tight in the material of your hospital gown.

The look on Tim’s face is unfamiliar.

Mostly because Tim Drake is not desperate. No. Never. And yet, the way he looks at you…

“I didn’t know how to deal with it,” he continues, talking faster, rambling, as if everything inside him is spilling out in this moment. “I-I didn’t want to mess with our friendship. I was worried that you were avoiding me and Red Robin could reach you when I couldn’t but then you started talking to me again and I kept coming back because with the mask, it was easier. I could do things Tim Drake couldn’t.”

He pauses to suck in a breath. He looks unusually pale, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. But the desperation in his gaze doesn’t change.

“But then it got out of hand. I was lying to you. But I knew if I tried to come to you, you—you would want an explanation and that’s—that’s fine, that’s what you deserve, but that would mean telling you how I felt and I—”

He chokes on his next words.

“What?” you ask quietly.

“I didn’t want to lose you,” he breathes, agonized. “I-I can’t. Please don’t—”

He stops again, squeezing his eyes shut with a groan.

After a moment, he composes himself, looking at you again, so earnestly, it makes your throat ache.

“I’m sorry. For everything. I’m so sorry.”

You swallow at the sharp turn this conversation has taken.

It still hurts, though.

All of it does.

Even the fact that he—he feels the same as you do… it assuages only a small part of the ache.

And you…

“Okay.”

He swallows audibly, looking torn between hope and agony. “O-Okay?”

“I need… space. Just… I need space.”

Too raw. Too open. The wound is still bleeding. You need it to scab before you can see him again, before you can talk about what all of this means.

You need time to forgive him.

And with that…

“I’m sorry, too, though. For what it’s worth.”

His eyes are glossy. He blinks a few times, looking away. “You… have nothing to apologize for.”

“Yes, I do,” you whisper. “We both do. And we did. But I think what we need now is some space. Not—not forever, just…”

“I know,” he whispers.

The two of you look at each other for a long moment.

You’re still hurt. Aching with it. But another part of you still wants to reach for him. Wants to be held. Wants to hold him.

His eyes are full of the same pain you’re feeling but also full of an open want, a longing, the kind that makes your heart skip a beat.

But you can’t.

Neither of you can.

Not right now.

“Just tell me when,” he murmurs. “I’ll wait.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Your throat tightens painfully, eyes stinging once again with oncoming tears as he slowly, reluctantly, turns to leave.

It’s so obvious he doesn’t want to and one part of you, a big part of you, doesn’t want him to, either.

But this has to happen.

Once the door shuts behind him, you start crying again. Flash pulls you into his arms again. Steph is right there, too, sidling up on your other side.

“It’s okay,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Flash doesn’t say anything.

He just holds you.

Later, in the morning, after getting a couple more hours of rest and some breakfast, you finally learn Flash’s name.

Well, it’s only after…

“Linda?”

You blink at the familiar sight of your old regular from Keystone City. Linda Park-West.

She closes the door behind her, dark eyes sliding to Flash, arching a brow.

“Oh, yeah!”

You look at him and he grins at you, a little apologetic. In the corner, nursing a big cup of coffee, Steph snorts a laugh.

“Sorry, kiddo,” he says, holding out a hand, giving you a wide smile. “Wally West, at your service.”

Oh.

“You’re married to her?”

Steph bursts out laughing. Linda does, too.

Flash—Wally, you remind yourself; it fits, it really does—doesn’t take offense. He laughs, too.

“I got lucky,” he informs you ruefully.

“We both did,” Linda amends, sending him a look that is so soft, you have to look away.

Your eyes catch Steph’s. She pretends to gag. You suppress a smile.

“How are you feeling?” Linda asks, taking the seat by your bed. The one Tim was in.

You close that thought out quickly. Thinking too much about it is going to make you cry and you don’t want to do that right now. You need a distraction. Anything, anyone.

“Not as bad as I thought I would feel,” you admit.

Barring the more emotional side of it, of course.

There is the fact that the nurse had come in not too long ago to give you another dose of pain medication but after sleeping for a little while longer, upon waking up, even without the immediate relief of pain meds, you felt… okay. Not great but not bad, either. It’s a little strange.

Linda and Wally share a look.

“Well, that’s good—”

A knock on the door cuts her off. She stands, going over to it.

Someone says something you can’t hear.

“Oh,” she says. “Really?”

More murmurs.

Steph stands, putting her coffee to the side and joining Linda at the door as the two of them accept something. Multiple somethings. Wally stands, too, going over to help them with… four vases of flowers. What?

“Who is that from?” you ask, bewildered.

One is from the Garricks, who Wally and Linda somehow know personally, one is from… the Pied Piper who didn’t sign off with that, but with his real name, Hartley (Wally has to clear up your confusion by informing you of that connection). Then one from your two regulars, those of which Steph also, apparently, knows personally.

“Babs—Barbara—is a friend slash mentor. And Jean-Paul is, uh, friends with her.”

There seems to be more going on with that but you don’t pry. Neither do Wally or Linda.

The last vase doesn’t have a name—not a full one, anyway. It is simply signed off with H.

“That’s… nice of her,” you murmur. Surprised but not put-off. Especially after what she did for following the confrontation with Batman, taking time out of her patrol to sit with you and talk.

Wally frowns, a tad suspicious. “Who—?”

“Huntress,” Steph says. “Tim’s close with her.”

This is news to you. But maybe it shouldn’t be, since she and him as Red Robin seemed so familiar.

It’s thoughtful—all of this. If not a tiny bit confusing, particularly the stuff from the Garricks and Pied Piper—Hartley.

“I told Jay and Joan what happened,” Wally tells you. “Barely managed to convince them to stay behind.”

“You… know them?”

“It’s a long story.”

“And… Hartley? I mean, he didn’t—he doesn’t—”

Still struggling to wrap your head around the fact that he gave his identity up just like that.

“Hartley likes you,” Wally says in the next minute. “Pretty fond of you, actually. We all are.”

“But… but I’m…”

You don’t know. You.

Just some kid from Gotham. You’re no one special.

You shake your head, evading Wally’s eyebrow raise. “Anyway, what about the Garricks were you talking about?”

Wally tells you. Just like Linda was his wife and started coming around to Circle K because of him, the Garricks did the same. But it’s not just because of that—Jay Garrick is a Flash. The first of them, actually.

“Uh,” Steph says, unsure. “Should I still be here?”

“Are you going to snitch?” Wally asks.

“Of course not,” she huffs. “I have a secret of my own, too.”

“Then we’re fine.”

“Right…”

“We aren’t Batman,” he says dryly. “I mean, discretion is key, yes, but you have the bonus of being a vigilante and being her friend. So, it’s fine for you to know this stuff.”

“Oh.” She seems lost on that prospect of trust. “Thank you.”

Wally sighs, looking at her, then at Linda. “I swear, even when he’s not within five miles of me, he’s still pissing me off.”

Oh.

It all comes back to Batman, it seems.

Linda sits back down, rolling her eyes. “I know. He’s a… real piece of work.”

Steph snorts. “Oh, yeah.”

You look at Linda. “So, then, Linda, can I ask why you’re here? You—I mean, I don’t mind! It’s just… the kids… and I’m sure you have better things to be doing…”

As you say that, you realize that her kids—the twins, Jai and Iris, then baby Wade—are also Wally’s kids.

God, today is so insane.

Linda gives you an evaluating look. “I wanted to be here.”

“It’s true,” Wally adds. “Threatened to hop onto a plane if I didn’t bring her here.”

She nods proudly when you look at her. Steph muffles a laugh into her fist.

You smile, too, shaking your head.

“And the twins are staying with the Garricks right now,” Wally adds. “So is Wade. They’re alright. Though we might bring Wade over here, depending on how long it takes you to recover.”

You frown. “What do you mean?”

Steph stretches her arms above her head. “And with that… good luck with this one, you two. I’m gonna head downstairs for some breakfast.”

“Bring me back a cookie,” Wally calls.

“No,” she says, then slips out.

You ignore that, looking at Linda, who gazes at you patiently, then at Wally, who grimaces a little.

“What was she talking about?”

Wally looks at Linda and takes a deep breath.

“We’re staying. Just for a little while.”

“Why? What about Keystone? And Central?”

“There’s Jay,” Linda says. “And Flash and Kid Flash. They’ve got it handled.”

Wally nods in agreement.

“Okay… but why?”

He sighs, looking at you. “So, we can stay to help take care of you while you recover.”

It takes a second.

But when it does…

“No.”

He says your name.

You shake your head. “No, no, no, I-I can take care of myself. I can—I mean, Steph—”

“She wanted to, initially,” Linda informs you. “She and her mother. But she has her internship and her mother is a nurse. Wally isn’t currently working—”

“Excuse you. I’m a stay-at-home dad,” he interjects.

“My apologies. He’s doing that,” Linda says diplomatically, though you can see the amusement twinkling in her eyes. “As for me, I’m working on finishing a book right now. With the kids out, if only for a brief period of time, we’re free.”

“But I can take care of myself, I mean, it’s not—”

“That bad?” Wally asks, cutting in a bit sharply. “You were stabbed. A few inches to the left and it would’ve hit your kidney. You got lucky, kid.”

“And what are you?” you snap. “My dad?”

Silence.

Tears of humiliation burn in your eyes. You squeeze them shut, reaching up to press the heels of your hands into your eyes.

“Sorry,” you whisper. “Sorry.”

“I’m not your dad,” Wally says quietly. “That’s not what we’re trying to do here. We—I—care about you. Let’s just leave it at that.”

You sniffle, dropping your hands from your eyes. “Okay. I get it. Sorry.”

He sighs. “I know it’s hard. I know you’ve been taking care of yourself on your own for a while. But you don’t have to anymore. Alright? This isn’t—it’s not some kind of moral obligation I’m fulfilling. If you don’t want anything to do with me, because of the whole… superhero thing, that’s fine. But I’m doing this ‘cause I want to.”

“We want to,” Linda amends.

Your next words choke you, lodging in your throat with the honesty of them, the vulnerability.

But you have to say it. Knowing why Wally wants to, just because he cares and nothing else to it… he has to know. He has to know that—

“It’s not like that for me,” you mutter. “The risk, I don’t care about the risk. I don’t care about any of that.”

“It’s okay if you do,” he says gently.

“The trade-off, if I did, is not worth it. I would lose too much and I can’t. I can’t…”

Not after your parents. Not when you finally have people who want you, who are choosing to be here once again.

Steph. Wally. Linda. Tim. All of them.

You don’t care about that.

You know what it’s like to have nothing. And maybe your chances of losing them are higher now, knowing what you know about them, but the chances of them being able to protect themselves are higher, too. Whatever happens to you because of it is a mere afterthought to you.

So, you would rather have them with the chance of danger than nothing at all.

“Aw, kid,” he mutters, rising from his chair at the same time that you sit up. He wraps his arms around in the next second. He’s warm, so very warm, and smells like sunscreen and coffee. Linda sets a hand on your leg, squeezing gently.

His heart beats steadily against your ear. You release a shuddery breath.

You can’t ever let this go.

You can’t.

But the way Wally holds you tell you he isn’t going to let you go, either, and it’s a promise.

Steph returns with a couple cookies for Wally, and with Crystal in tow. She doesn’t work at this hospital—University Medical—and she wasn’t able to get here until her shift was over. Though she sheds no tears, you can tell she was worried.

You nervously introduce her to Wally and Linda. They both easily come up with a cover story about knowing you from Keystone. You can tell she thinks it’s all a bit fishy but she doesn’t say anything.

You understand why when Wally and Linda step out to take some calls.

“So, you found out, huh?” she asks, eyebrow raising, eyes flickering to Steph, who smiles sheepishly.

It takes a second for you to understand.

“Wait, you know?”

She gives you an affronted look. “Of course I know. I’ve known since she was a teen. Didn’t like her doing it back then but she obviously never listened.”

“I listened!” she protests.

Crystal gives her a look.

She chuckles nervously and amends, “I listened a little.”

“A little,” Crystal says dryly. “Then you were right back in it again. No matter. Can’t change it, especially since she’s over eighteen and well, she’s got some good people looking out for her.”

Your eyes shoot to Steph’s. Does she know…?

A subtle shake of the head. Ah. Well, you suppose Steph doesn’t need to give away identities to assure her mother she is okay. Hanging with the likes of the Bats and the Batman himself, it gives an undeniable kind of credibility.

“Yeah,” you say. “Guess she does.”

Crystal’s eyes catch the flowers. “That’s sweet. Who are those from?”

“Old friends from Keystone. Wally and Linda kinda spread the word among the regulars. Old regulars, I mean.”

“Nice of them.” A cursory look around the room. A frown. “Has Tim visited?”

Your heart squeezes painfully, your breathing stuttering.

“He did,” Steph says quickly. “Earlier, this morning. He had to fly out of the city, though, for some WE stuff in California.”

“He couldn’t have cancelled?” she asks, peeved.

“It’s okay,” you say, clearing your throat. “It was a really important meeting, I think. He said he would, um, call and stuff.”

She huffs. “Well, the least he could do is send some flowers, too.”

“You know Timothy, Mom. Not that great with the ladies or gentlemen.”

You laugh, surprising yourself. Steph beams.

Crystal smiles, too, shaking her head. “I suppose so.”

She and Steph stay for a little while longer before they have to leave. Crystal to go home and rest and Steph for work.

“Tell me what the doctor says,” she says to you. “And let me know if you need anything. And I mean anything. My supervisor can suck it.”

“No, Steph, she cannot. You need this work.”

She pouts. “I guess.”

“Don’t fret,” you say dryly. “You aren’t the only hero coddling me.”

“True!” She leans forward to hug you and you go easily.

She presses her nose to your hair, sighing. “I’m glad you’re okay, you know that, right?”

“I know, Stephie.”

“And…” she pulls away to look at you, guilt in her blue eyes. “I’m sorry. I was… indrectly lying to you, too. I knew what Tim was doing and I never—”

“Hey,” you say softly, cutting her off. “It’s okay. I mean I… yeah, I would’ve liked to know, just ‘cause we’ve been friends for so long…”

“I was going to tell you,” she confesses. “In June, actually, but then Tim started acting like an idiot and it just got so…”

You crack a smile. “Complicated?”

“Complicated,” she agrees, smiling, too. “But still. I’m sorry.”

“I know. Thank you.”

She kisses your head. “Get some rest. I’ll swing by later, if you aren’t already discharged.”

“Okay.”

She steps out and Wally and Linda both step back in.

Seems like they both went downstairs to the cafeteria. The former has another handful of cookies in hand.

“Want one?” he asks around a mouthful.

“It’s nine in the morning.”

“So?”

“I’d take it,” Linda says. “It’s a rare privilege for him to share food.”

“I share food with you,” he protests. “And the kids. And Hartley and Dick and—”

“Yes,” she says dryly. “That’s the point. Only with people you love.”

“Oh.” He looks at you. “That’s true.”

“I’ll take the cookie,” you quickly say, if only not to think about what that means.

He gives you the cookie.

You’re unwrapping it when your doctor pops in. Dr. Scott is a kind, if not harried, woman. Working at a Gotham hospital does that to you, you suppose. She tells you the scans they did came out fine, showing not too much internal damage, nothing you can’t come back from and that they weren’t able to fix, and that they gave you a booster against potential infection from the knife. She says you’ll be discharged at the end of the day, too.

That’s a relief, though you’re still not looking forward to the hospital bill.

When you mention that, they both tell you it’s being taken care of.

“Wait a second—”

“Not us,” Linda says. “We did offer but Tim said he would take care of it. It’s not quite better, we feel, since there are… others who might owe you that much—”

“No kidding,” Wally mutters.

“But he insisted,” she finishes.

“No,” you say. “No way, that’s—that’s too much—”

“You can’t afford it, though,” Wally points out a bit ruthlessly. “Just let the kid do it. He’s got the money for it.”

“But—”

“You can bring it up with him,” Linda cuts in. “But for now, it’s taken care of.”

Maybe you shouldn’t be surprised. Tim… isn’t exactly ostentatious about the money he comes from. Not in the way some of other rich boys of the city can be. But he does things like this sometimes. Back during your internship with Quickstart Enterprises, he flew both himself and Steph out for Thanksgiving break. Not to celebrate the accursed holiday, no way, but because you had the time off, time they would gladly monopolize to help you relax some and finally enjoy yourself.

In that time, he got all of you a room at the Four Seasons in Central, saying, for one, the three of them couldn’t fit into your tiny studio. You pointed out they could just stay at a hotel nearby. But they both wanted all of you to be together. And of course, you couldn’t just go for the nearest Holiday Inn, it was the freakin’ Four Seasons.

Obviously, you don’t begrudge him for it. It was fun and it was nice sleeping on a proper mattress with thousand-count sheets and having them within reach.

He just… he does things like that. You had to take a summer class last year, after failing it the semester before, but your degree plan didn’t allow for any re-takes, not unless you wanted to throw your schedule way off course. He paid for it.

Steph understands your wariness about it. Crystal doesn’t make loads of money on a nurse’s salary.

It’s hard, she once said to you, because it feels like you’re being judged, right? For not having the means to do it yourself? But really, for Tim, that doesn’t even cross his mind. He just… he takes care of his friends. It’s really as simple as that. I know it’s still hard, though, so… handle it how you see fit.

Handling it, for you, meant paying for snacks and tickets every time the two of you went to the movies. He let you, understanding why. Not without reiterating that you didn’t have to pay him back, that he did it to help you, because you’re friends, but still.

Back then, even with that, things were so much simpler.

You sigh, leaning back against the bed, heeding Wally’s advice to take a nap.

Things won’t be like that ever again but… you hope you can achieve some semblance of it.

With time, you think you can.

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