#the joke was never lost on me i was joking myself

[anime-dreams]

Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable. 

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end? 

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that. 

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave. 

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

#shoko ieiri #jujutsu kaisen #jjk shoko #satosugu #gege when i catch you gege #kfc breakup #geto suguru #gojo satoru #what am i even doing #i cannot do this anymore #depressing shit

[saeraas]

that twitter thread of Gojo's activism is actually a joke, according to the user. we know he ain't racist, just ignorant, and it was nice he did apologize. in fact, several of us are making jokes about it, but ofc nonblack ppl can't take humor and take it too far 🙄🙄

do you think I went "😭😭" seriously in anger or what anon also look at my bio goofy

#the joke was never lost on me i was joking myself #2. im black myself and joked with others about it and dont like it was in there already and gojo is my absolute favorite character #3. girl do you think microaggressions arent a form of racism he aint saying slurs or having malice but his ignorance is still racist like #4. all my issues are with gege since he wrote not gojo idgaf #5. get better jokes if ya mad in my inbox on tumblr about my joke abt yall looking silly

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

letting this breach containment.

#hand jumper #juni chang #ishaan cha #do people even use his first name or is he relegated officer cha for now and forever #the way i forgot i had tumblr #THE WAY I FORGOT I HAD HJ MEMES ON MY COMPUTER. #THE WAY THE SAYEON BIRTHDAY POST WAS NEVER POSTED ON HER BIRTHDAY. #well on discord yeah but now the joke is lost. #still debating on making this a meme acc or a hj rambling acc #if you have any constructive criticism #questions or just wanna make sure i'm alive just ask me ig #the masses aren't ready yet for these two i'm afraid #me neither tho tbh #s2 is gonna kick my ass if ishaan finally gets his 1/16th of internal monologue #give him the instructor sang treatment and i WILL explode #sayeon shitpost next ig i'm so mad at myself now actually #but their queerplatonic situationship bewitched me #or their situationship swag whatever floats your boat i don't discriminate #also if anyone understands what ishaan's handle means i will give you a hug i was giggling making it #if no one gets it my lame ass will cry

[flamboyant-king]

You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.

And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)

ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.

This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.

#i looked in a mirror 20 feet away as reference because im like NYAHAHA WHAT EVILS HAVE I COMMITED #and i see my own smug face in the mirror like 'yes this will get me hunted down' #sketches #i do comedy slapstick violence but ya know doing more darker jokes and adult humor feels nice like im not censoring myself #i mean i still am by not showing you guys a lot of the bloody or even H O RN Y stuff but ya cant expose everything #like for those of yall who have followed me for years id say were all legal here for more than my usual 13+ content #i just want ro be appealing to a broader audience IN CASE i ever did make it somewhere but haha its been what #8 years since i started this blog. any credit i had died off with teeny taku fhjdjsksajsk #ive got no image to uphold. i have nothing im trying to promote anymore. i do but ive lost the plot ya know #im just having fun and im glad you guys are just ...letting me? like i looked at my old stuff #with the cookies the pokemans the fehs the ocs. and yall just let me go freaking wild and thought #yeah ill give that a like. bless yalls hearts. bless ya souls. ive got thousands of posts on here and yall just let me run wild #and thank you for that. ya never pit pressure on me. kts me outting pressure on myself. #i do wish there were folks that did look forward to some actual tangible content instead of me shitposting with no cohesiveness #but thats just hard with adhd. and try as i might with medications and alarms and deadlines and what have you. its just. difficult #like even the tags here are derailing. but i hope that alongside me just having fun doing my thing. i hope i can get on course #where there is a clear line to follow in my life but i dont lose sight of it as i trail off #but for now. im just drawing experimenting and straight up goofing around. have fun you guys #i may not show you everything but just know im having fun too.

[kohakhearts]

well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas

#taylor.txt #incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks #like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any #treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really #feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i #despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it #i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni #thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious #anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week #and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why #the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments #has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but #theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed #again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude #i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process #and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to #say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is #also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over #i PROMMY

[dismalzelenka]

.

#today i had a pianist during a rehearsal go “wow your voice you just have so much natural talent i mean some people really work for years—” #and i kinda snapped #and i was polite but also i unloaded the entire story of the last thirteen years in the cosmic joke that is my life #this lady got thirteen years of trauma in a twenty minute speed run #she Learned Things today about existential despair and the societal clusterfuck that is the Trans Experience #and how that intersects in the classical singing world in an incredibly challenging and fucked up way #and how i went from scooting under the door into a voice program with seven lessons under me #and then three years later proceeded to fling myself into a testosterone fueled vocal puberty in the midst of a professional singing degree #and lost the respect and support of most of the vocal and choir faculty because everyone thought i was committing professional suicide #if it werent for my own voice teacher (who at some point became the mother figure I'd never had) keeping me afloat i would not be here #i have c-ptsd from the shit i went through in the choir department #i had to drop out of school for a semester because my body just folded under the stress #i started getting migraines severe enough i was hospitalized twice with stroke-like symptoms #two weeks ago i had a former teacher from the early days deadname me in front of our colleagues #she tried to play it off as no big deal and it just reminded me no matter how successful i become in this field #no matter how much work i put in to overcome my past #its always going to come back and find me through people who refuse to learn respect #and somehow! im still here! im making a living in the field i trained for #how many people in my generation in the arts degree sector can say that?? by some metrics i am thriving but jesus goddamn #i clawed and fought and bit and dragged myself to where i am right now and had to find my voice TWICE and the worst part is #she meant well #the pianist i mean #and i was polite when i told my story but it was so important to me that she understood #no amount of talent would have gotten me here without sleepless nights and long hours and blood and sweat and tears and you know what #maybe i am a better person for it but dont compliment me by implying i have some inherent gift from a god i dont even believe in #dont tell me your god put me in this place to teach other people compassion #i didnt brush the door of death as many times as i did for the sake of someone else's enlightenment #its been a long 13 years. hell its been a long 2023. in the last eleven months ive had a fundamental upheaval #of everything i thought i knew and understood about myself #so yea im standing at the gate to hell looking the devil in the eye. try me bitch. ive endured worse.

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

the way tiktok rots ppls brains is SO embarrassing. a friend of mine will sometimes bring up some shit she heard off that site and i have to bite my tongue to not be like "that doesn't even sound remotely real"

#never forgetting when we somehow got on the topic of eminem in call #and ppl were (tbh rightfully) ragging his newer rapping style bc he lost it after sobering up #and she mentioned how all he talks abt is getting canceled #and it was so obvious that was just some stupid gen z ''i've never listened to eminem and think this is what this yt man raps about'' joke #and as the resident eminem enjoyer it took everything in me to not go #girl he raps about current events and politics now #like maybe I'M wrong bc i haven't listened to curtain call 2 but i forced myself to listen to music to get murdered to bc i was curious #and wanted to see if he got better (spoiler: not really) and not once did he bring up getting canceled #ne ways today she mentioned wanting to get off birth control #bc she saw ppl on tt saying that getting off ''made them realize they were gay'' #and i'm pretty sure some parts of my brain liquidized and leaked outta my skull #like twitter and tiktok really made ppl lose some critical thinking skills #niyah.txt

[frecklystars]

[starts sniffling and crying when seeing pictures of ryan gosling from the fall guy movie] oh ok it's that kind of night

#the ache in my chest... i dont know why it makes me teary #i should be looking forward to seeing a new ryan movie? to getting a new F/O? #so why am i crying huh why am i so sad that it's making me shed actual tears #is it because i'm worried it'll be just another F/O who i'm gonna afraid of? another F/O im conditioned to fear? #is it just gonna be another F/O that i've prematurely lost to my trauma? that i wouldnt be worthy of his love? or smth stupid like that #huh!!! what is it!!! i should be happy but its like a knife to the chest #vent #sorry i just needed to put this out into the void #i used to be so excited to get new F/Os but now it's like... it just hurts #I used to think 'oh! new bf/gf! kissed and thrown into the pile!' #now it's like 'oh. new person who would look at me and see someone so worthless' #i never used to be like this until i was abused and now its all i can do #i NEVER looked down on myself like this. i NEVER believed my F/Os would cast me aside #i never ever ever doubted that I'd be so wholeheartedly loved #but now it's all i know how to do #i don't even know his character's name and i'm already thinking he wouldn't love me back #that all of my pining isn't requited that all of my drawings and stories and animatics are so worthless #that all of my self ships are a joke. that all of my drawings and fics and animatics are a joke #that everything i've done to feel loved by these characters is hilariously incorrect #like who can possibly fathom that i am inherently lovable when im just used as. some. some punching bag #as my abuser put it. she's right. that's all im good for #my F/Os wouldnt see me as anything more

[benderbendingrodriguez]

not been a good day today fellas

#i miss my ex i have no irl friends that i hang out with anymore because of that #cant believe i used to be happy!! lol!!! #thee suicidal thoughts have come back #lost the good old self harm battle 14 days into 2024 #i want to die!!! lol!!!! lmao!!!!!!!! #vent #get me out of here fr this shit fucking sucks #i don’t want to work at this job i have no friends i have no prospects #im scared of driving even tho i just got my permit again a couple days ago #i feel like im never going to do anything productive with my life #i hate the way i look i hate this fucking body i was born into #i hate god etc etc #i cant ever have confidence in a relationship again because im afraid they’re not really attracted to me #and they’re doing it for a joke or something #surely there’s a word for that #idk! i feel like i will never fit in with anybody because of the way i am #(homeschooled autistic idiot raised jehovah’s witness) #not to mention the fact that im queer #god!! i fucking hate everything right now myself most of all #im so sick of this i wish i had a different life #why couldn’t i have been born a skinny dude. #maybe then i’d want to kill myself slightly less #also pls don’t comment on this im going to bed #ill be fine eventually i dont have an actual way to do anything

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

future me because you’re a motherfucker who forgets fucking every reminder in existence but I KNOW you check your tumblr page daily...when you read this tomorrow DO YOUR FUCKING TIMESHEET AND SUBMIT IT. THIS IS YOUR REMINDER. I am subtly manipulating you to have the weird urge to check your tumblr page tomorrow because ‘I swear I’m forgetting something about this’. AND THEN FOLLOW THROUGH. NOT IN A MINUTE, RIGHT FUCKING NOW. YOUR MEMORY IS A SIEVE. THERES NO SUCH THING AS ILL DO IT IN A MINUTE. YOULL FORGET. DO IT NOW. thank you.

#I always tend to do better at remembering things when I tell someone else #so I’m telling the whole internet #or else I’ll definitely forget #fuck #I told myself like 5 times today #but noooo #‘I’ll do it in a minute’ #jokes on me the memory has slid through the sieve brain and been lost #it’s a nightmare trying to get myself to remember basic tasks #reminders never work because I go oh yes I acknowledge this I’ll do it in a sec #and then I forget #this is permanently on the Internet now. there will. be no. forgetting

[munamania]

is it really really stupid to give her the gift. i know she’s not worth it and im making myself feel like shit over and over and i need to stop and it doesnt matter how sad or angry i am about it she’s not just gonna dump him and even if she did i wouldn’t like. want to be the second choice (not that i inherently would be. weirdo dream scenario) and it’s just not gonna affect her much to not see me anymore and i have to be okay with that. and im truthfully not rn but i have to be cause that’s the reality. anyway lost my point there

#like. i just cant imagine class being over monday and just being like. ok bye forever ig. or not rlly saying anything #idk guys im sorry i know ive gone on and on and on nonstop for months #it just sucks #even if i think back to monday like. it's classic baby steps of leading me on and i fortunately for once didnt nip at the bit right away #but just the little ways she looked at me and smiled or joked around. kinda flirty. just for her to yk #post the bereal today and hes in it and its like 'wait let me get a shirt on' so just blatantly fucking yk. didnt even have to do my sleuth #work. and like. i know maybe ive overreacted to a lot of it and over thought it and she really didn't intentionally do a lot of it #and wasn't ever confused or anything and i just told myself that to justify being sooooo bonkers over it. idk #so it's like. with all that in mind. no i should not give it to her i should just walk out of class and not talk to her again #but the wounded part of me the 17 yr old in me is desperately asking why it's so easy for someone to get over me #but she was never into me! or at least not enough yk. she has a boyfriend. and that yk. shouldve been enough #but i got so lost in all these little signs and feelings of tension and #i guess. lol look at me abt to say this. doesnt help to dwell (lol!) but who knows if it was mutual some of those times when it just Felt #tense. yk. or if she just has problems and really liked the ego boost #cause boy did i make it fucking easy to enjoy my attention! and i never ever ever shouldve done all that bc she wasnt mutually engaging #at least not till like. october. and only briefly. and i just. ugh #anyway :( whatever. i know the answer is no. i know it's no i know i shouldnt #but as i was saying. the wounded part of me wishes i could make her feel even a fraction of the hurt or even just fucking regret #but not pity. but regret for being an asshole. if i could just say something as my final word or something and still be dignified #but i just dk how that would happen. so. yeah #hopefully this is one of my runner up last posts about her #film girl saga

[spaceoutdreamer]

The road is gigantic and I sure am a little chicken

#story time #Inside #Bo Burnham #Can't believe that guy makes me emotional over a why did the chicken cross the road joke #I'm not sure what to do with myself anymore #I was never at making decisions #And with all this bullshit from yesterday I feel even less sure of myself #The only thing I do know is that I feel very very alone #Life feels worthless right now #I feel like I lost one of the best people that's ever happened to me #Chess was right

[viosjaan]

i don't think you want anything to do with me anymore so i can just vent the texts i want to send to you here

#i am sorry #truly genuinely #ive been trying to justify it to myself that we weren't technically together and you said go kiss other people ill still be here meet your #needs in the way you want #but i think it was #yesterday #this guy flirted with me and i flirted back but then suddenly this wave of disgust and self loathing hit me #like what am i even doing #how could i have done that #you were sitting there thinking we're okay you thought we were still together and im just in a bad mood going thru one of those depressive #episodes you were so understanding when you shouldn't have been because if i say im in love with you i should be there for you every step #of the way. #but you go through so much shit alone and im never there for you or atleast not there for you a lot of times and then i blame you for #liking your bestfriends more like it's so stupid obviously love should be reliable stable #and we were something na. we were everything except the label #i should have told you the moment i started feeling empty and dissatisfied again #but just. this isn't an excuse but like i didn't want to hurt you by bringing up this same fight for the one thousandth time #we agreed that you're not in the position to give more and i agreed to be okay with it and i really was. #but i can't help myself i want to give you everything i hate that feeling that i need to be less love less WANT less. mujhse nahi ho pata #i wasn't lying or pretending to be okay with it i was TRYING my best to be okay with it because i love you and this was the only way to #not lose you forever #now i just want to move on fr and be just friends with you. i can't lose you as a person but i don't know how to make this up to you #i am physically incapable of being in this situationship i want a relationship or a friendship i can't with this in between #which is what i told you in jan. i remember my chest actually feeling heavy with fear bc i was so scared of hurting you and getting hurt #again. jokes on me my worst fears came true all the progress we made by taking space is lost #i don't know if you really deleted my playlist. i tried to listen to more songs from it but they're so. lovely. talking about epic grand #love. which we have. but it's like waving a candy in front of a kid and snatching it away it hurts too much to have all the feelings and #none of the relationship. now that ive talked to some people in the romantic sense i get it #you were my best love my most perfect love there are no flaws there's nothing anyone else can do that can be equal or more to what you did #but idk it isn't meant to be maybe there's no future

[llanekee]

Sign off a little dash Post with a little hashtag Something like self love

The least patronising poetry And something, something Life and leprosy

It’s so utterly impossible To churn out these extremities Like how I wrote out the lines On real journaling paper With actual blotting ink And how I didn’t even edit it  Or change the awful formatting

Threw in an abstract drawing And that’s one page done Just a hundred more And I’ll have a complete book to sell

This is how to write quality poetry By an instagram celebrity Sign off if you want to join My exclusive membership Deep things only For five dollars monthly Truly a bargain If you resonate with my poetry

A parody of true blue modern poets

-an aesthetic way to kill myself

-by Lane Key :]

#the joke is i hate myself #poetry #my poem #original poem #poem #dont steal #ironic #poetic #poems on tumblr #the irony is not lost on me #but seriously #poetry about poetry #i hope i never fall into the instapoetry gimmicks unironically #but i probably have already #poets on tumblr #poet

[andwewerehappy]

had the big cry about them tonight. mostly him. keep daring the universe to prove me wrong when i say i’ll never see him again.

#i’ve been pathetic my whole life but i do think this is a new low for me. #he’s a 23yr old man with a girlfriend who works at a truck wash. like girl get a grip #but what if he was my soulmate :( in another universe he calls me up tonight and tells me he loves me too. #GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. and for what. for WHAT !!!! this really is one of those times where i wish i could zoom out and see the big picture #and see what this all was FOR. like what was the POINT of the last 8 months. this heartbreak this frustration this anxiety. for WHAT !!! #what if i never get over you.mp3 😐 what if i never get over. what if i never get closure. what if i never get back all the wasted words #i told you. what if it never gets better. what if this lasts forever and ever. i’m TRYING but then i close my eyes and i’m right back !!! #lost in that last goodbye !!! what if time doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do !!! what if i never get over you !!! #also i’m sure this is not All about him. it’s just manifesting as abt him right now. it will also be about Leaving in the bigger sense #as well. leaving home. leaving everyone here. moving. being in an apartment again. it’s going to be like college where i’ll be back home on #the weekends but. this also feels different. more permanent. keep telling myself it’s only a year. if i still feel like this after a year #i won’t stay. i’ll come back home. give it a try and see what happens. #this is not really leaving. this is not one of those things when you leave and you can never go back. this is not that. #and to think i thought i could up and move to seattle. god i’m such a joke.

[thoughtfulseason]

funnily enough what had to make me worry less for my fencing practice today has got me shaking

#the point is #last training was weird because even though coach made a few jokes i didnt feel like he liked me that day #and suddenly i lost my motivation somehow?? that feeling moved sth deeper #and now it all feels so weird #i feel my art passion so strong but right this second i feel drowning in fencing sort of. i mean in a way that idk what it means to me #and i want to be that person who is confident and shining in herself because she is enough. i am enough #and i dont want to do stuff so other people would like me more #i wanna be cool but on my own terms #i wanna reach my dreams and love myself truly #and so this horrible stress that im now shaking from might mean that my body is reacting to a really big change and i hope i can make it #now even my head is spinning i need to come back to myself #i am actually a reallu interesting person and if somebody doesnt see that its their problem #though id prefer it wouldnt be someone i feel like i met in another life idk #or really like #’so you were never a saint’ tru tru