#the life you could have lived

[teen-spirited-away]

"All I wanted was for someone to tell me they were sorry for what happened to me" self-destructive duo

#asoiaf #got #hotd #i take no criticism #victims of their father's ambitions and political hypocrisy #your new 'family' holds the key to your cage #oh but you learned to care for them #to love 'them' #but you still resent 'them' because they have what you never will #the life you could have lived #and when it comes to it you choose the father that gave them the key because you want their approval because you love them #because that is your 'real' family #and you betray the only person that ever loved you #you betrayed them and they died #and after all the mess that was made all that is left in you is regret #did you get your justice? #theon greyjoy #alicent hightower #i love them if you cant tell

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate. #you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you #think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth. #then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty #house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive #this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died. #and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first #place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever #given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and #you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's #everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you #have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love #more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me. #real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you. #and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love. #lit #the hunger games #everlark #otp: real or not real? #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #text #tais toi lys #thgpost

[meirimerens]

youtube shorts is just tiktok without being on the app the amount of "i'm a [qualification] and [misinformation]" could make one turn their skin inside-out in protest. "i'm a board-certified OB-GYN & it's only been about the last hundred years that women have actually experienced menopause. We didn't live long enough to experience it" how can you be so incredibly wrong about something so integral to your practice. King of the Hittites Hattusilis III was told in 1250 BCE that his sister was too old to reproduce at age 50+. Aristotle wrote in the 4th century BCE that women stopped menstruating between ages 40 to 50, common menopause ages today still. i cannot begin to tell you how 4th century & 1250 BCE don't really count as "the last hundred years" unless that -s is doing a lot of heavy lifting. waiter waiter more misinformation laws.

#do they just be making anybody an ob-gyn these days. #what ''board'' is certifying this. your car's dashboard? #life expectancy for the past millennia was heavily skewed down because surviving infancy was Not Easy #but if you made it past that you could live to your 50s if not later. #we have multiple hypotheses about PREHISTORIC WOMEN'S menopause and how post-reproductive life in humans could have been an #integral part of the life of the tribe with help with child-rearing; gathering; hunting; medicine. like hello. #prehistoric menopausal women GET BEHIND ME [wolf growling] #neigh (blabbers) #sorry. i'm insane. gyno health and everything about periods & menopause is already so little understood & the wider medical body kinda #dgaf about if you keel out in pain from preventable menstrual diseases so if i catch anyone spreading misinformation. i'm going beastmode.

[idkaguyorsomething]

the convoluted doctor who lore gets extra funny when you realize that, at two separate points in the past, two different companions to two different doctors ended up running into rasputin but both came to the conclusion that he was a pretty nice and normal guy. which, depending on how you interpret the power of the doctor, is either a nice subversion of a lot of tropes of stories used in pre-soviet russia, or side-splittingly hilarious as you start imagining the master getting roped into various adventures with different versions of the doctor that he can’t fuck with yet or else he’ll destroy the timeline, forcing him to play nice with the humans as part of his 4D Time Chess Master Disguise Plan #3852

#doctor who #rasputin #in case you’re wondering the companions were #ian chesterton #liz shaw #and #jo grant #who kept explicitly making references to the master throughout the story #but wait it gets better #at one point it was proposed to make a story with this one time lord called the meddling monk #who just decides to start fucking around with the timeline and forces rasputin to listen to boney m #but apparently this actually drives rasputin to the brink on insanity and destroys the entire timeline #forcing the monk to regenerate into rasputin to take his place and live out his life #and that’s why he decided to go by the monk #it was never technically canonized but could you imagine the mindfuck #you have a time lord impersonating another time lord impersonating a normal guy who may or may not have actually existed in the whoniverse #who even knows at this point #the untempered schism didn’t drive the master mad it was a funky disco beat #grigori rasputin #dhawan!master

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[butchviking]

if you dont believe in homosexuality as a natural, innate, morally neutral sexual orientation that cannot be changed then you! are! a! fucking! homophobe!!!!!!!!

#im so FUCKING tired #WE CANNOT CHANGE IT WE CANNOT CHANGE IT WE CANNOT CHANGE IT #you don't even have to like it! you can even think 'well thats not ideal it would better if you could change it' i dont care thats fine!! #hell.. that is what i think half the time!! #but u have got 2 accept that we CAN'T. i have to accept it and u have to accept it and we all just have to LIVE WITH IT #this is life!! this is the real world this is just how it is! homosexuality exists! its not good its not bad it just IS!!!!!

[astrangertomykin]

Gale's the type that when you are having feelings of inadequacy about your relationship and how you fit into it, uttering "Gale, I'm no Goddess" whilst turning your head away, that he would cup your face with his hand and bring your eyeline back to his, and whisper "No. You're so much more." right before he pulls you close to kiss you as gently, with a reverence, just as you deserve

#Gale x tav #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #IM GOING THROUGH IT THIS MORNING APPARENTLY #like it's hard not to feel some doubt when the ex is a literal goddess #nothing you can do could ever live up to what she has has achieved in a second of your life #and yet to gale you already have #because you taught him to love life again #the man was made to worship and will press prayers against your skin until they finally begin to sink in

[regina-del-cielo]

Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but

considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill

Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"

But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.

They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.

It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.

I don't know I just think it's particularly neat

#my ponderings #the old guard #I know we all love to play the 'if you could go back in time and kill One Person who would it be' game #but I think a movie that makes it EXTREMELY SATISFYING to see the Bad Guys die - #- having 'actually the best and greatest changes happen when people help each other' as its underlying message... #it means something #I also think it connects to Andy feeling like nothing she does changes anything at the start of the movie #for 80% of her life you could Solve A Problem by Taking Out The Guy Causing The Problem #especially in battle! you kill the general and you win. if you win the Problem Is Solved #but then everything becomes More Complex. the Problems™️ are globalized and/or systemic. #and Winning a Battle means just killing people. it doesn't Stop The Problem (nor really end a war) #so it feels useless #and even when they save people... they can’t stay in people's lives for long because immortality #which means they can never know what happens to the people they save #they don't (and can't) have the full picture

[oatbugs]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

#she said it like a law. its just momentum. #also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together #and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn #they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th #UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there #and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe #ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in #death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is #unwarranted #anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday #they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭 #but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but #alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually #OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW #i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident #....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant

[angrylesbianstereotype]

Mike and Jesse’s relationship makes me insane bc it’s the perfect encapsulation of the tragicomic elements that make Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul so absurdly ingenious. Like this deadly dead-eyed professional hitman only becomes a father figure to this grown adult meth cook because his boss strong-arms him into the Very Serious Drug-Related Business of babysitting said meth cook and building his sense of self-esteem through the power of gold star stickers. And Mike is such a quintessential professional that he gets stuck in character and genuinely comes to love Jesse as his own becoming his least problematic and most influential father figure in the series. But also. Mike is doomed to watch young men reminiscent of his murdered child get chewed up and spit out by a world that holds their innocence in contempt, is killed in an attempt to save Jesse from this fate, and dies believing he failed to do so

#a rollicking good time :(( #i wish you could see him living his best life in alaska #i wish you could have stayed long enough to watch him grow and thrive #oh and also save him from labor trafficking #jesse pinkman #mike ehrmantraut #breaking bad #brba #better call saul #bcs #el camino

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This is the start of something new

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #wei wuxian #lan wangji #season 1 #*I never knew that it could happen till it happened to me* #Listen there were so many good scenes I wanted to draw and maybe one day I will but dang #sometimes when there are too many good moments to draw in a summary comic you have to abridge them into something that gets the vibes #The teen boy shenanigans that wwx drags lwj into are fine and good and *funny* #but they are also 15 and 15 year olds will say whatever comes to mind whether its well formulated or not #Less of a gay awakening and more of a moment of realizing that theres a door labeled 'homosexual thoughts' in the back of the house #and someone just threw a baseball into the window of it #poor lwj for he now spends the rest of his teen and young adult years haunted by this moment #only to cultivate it into a garden in which he will one day marry this man #Live your life in a way that would make teen you implode -> my daily advice column wisdom #Side note: this comic is vertical because I...ran out of space on my page. I have been meaning to experiment though #might continue like this? Maybe...

[books-books-smolderinglooks]

Young Royals 3.01 - Wille 💜

#young royals #wilmon #simon eriksson #wilhelm #prince wilhelm #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #my gifs yr #yr s3 spoilers #i love love this lil scene.. wille putting his pics up feeling like yay feeling good i have simon.. #🎶 It feels so good I could scream. Living life like it's a dream. All it takes is you and me. Manifest reality. 🎵 #on repeat lol #userbarrow #youngroyalsedit #wilhelm x simon

[haunted-xander]

Shadowbringers is about learning how to live.

Your enemy is stasis- everything and everyone is stagnant, they wait and wait for something to happen, but don't do anything to make it so (because the ones who tried before failed, because they don't know what to do/how to do it). People don't change, they don't try, not really. The crystarium is doing well, it's independent and sustainable, but it doesn't have the reach or power to do much outside of Lakeland. The Exarch is more-or-less confined to the city (because of the tower, because he's waiting for you), so even if he had power elsewhere, he'd be limited with how much he, personally, can do.

Eulemore is filled with mindless indulgence, there's no hardships or labour or anything but luxury for the free citizens, and the bonded only have to worry about fulfilling the task(s) they were brought for. The outside world doesn't matter, hard work doesn't matter, personal fulfillment beyond indulgence doesn't matter, everything exist solely in the moment. The people out in Kholusia have pretty much given up, they stay close to the city in the hopes that this time they will be picked, this time they will be saved. They wait and wait and do nothing but wait. The ones who try to live on are dying out or eventually give up and join the rest in waiting.

Ahm Areang, Rak'tika, even Il Mheg are all just waiting for something, anything to happen. They go day to day, surviving simply because it's all they can. Nothing changes.

Until, of course, you should up. You, who causes a ripple of change simply by existing, who can move the immovable by sheer will. You showed them that things can change, that things can, and will happen, if they just try. You show them that they can make things better, that there is an option besides waiting for a slow death, if they'd just grab fate by the neck and tell it "No. We are doing this my way".

And they do. They rally up together and do what they thought impossible. Not all their efforts succeed(not immediately), but they tried. They tried, they failed, and they got up and tried again and again until it did work. They take the chances, not knowing how it'll turn out (because it's not about whether it fails or succeeds, it's about having tried).

They learn how to try, little by little, and every step they learn what it means to really live.

Endwalker is about learning how to love life.

Your enemy is nihilism- the idea that nothing matters, that there is no real joy to be found that isn't snuffed out by misery. A concept that denounces greys in favor of a black-and-white view where black is all encompassing. Everywhere you go, people are doing what they can to survive, but refuses (or maybe are afraid to, or maybe never knew they could) try to actually save themselves. The Forum plans for escape, to leave their homeworld behind and take whatever they can afford. They will live on, but they won't be saved, no one is saved(and even with escape they aren't safe, Despair is everywhere and She will not stop until all has become Nothing).

The Loporrits love Etheirys, but in the way Winter loves Spring. They know about it, they are so close to it, but they are distant. They're strangers, they've never met. It's love, and it's pure and true, but it's also just love. It's surface-level(because the surface is all they had). Their love is pure but it's instinctual. Programmed. They love because they don't know how to not love. They want to save it's people, save us, but they don't know what it really means to save, so they create refuge instead(because that's what She told them to, because this is how love works for them).

The people of Garlemald are terrified, they are victims of extreme indoctrination, the (deserved) push-back their army got proved them "right"(that we are savage beasts to fear, that they are but prey in the maws of rabid dogs). They want to be build-up again, but what's left for them now? The world hates them(and it's all their fault, the ones who see past the propaganda know this, but who will listen to them?) and they are dying. It's so cold and the fuel is running out. They won't accept help, because they've been filled with the idea that there is no such thing as pure kindness from "savages"(and they are too prideful to question it, to break apart from the illusion that they are surperior, because they're terrified to face the truth).

The sky screams, the earth wheeps and the foundation of existence is overtaken by Despair, misery is around every corner and who knows what will happen now? Where do we go? What do we do? We live and live but for what?

What's the point of it all?

That's the question, and the answer is everything. We live because there is joy to be found. Because there is beauty in the world. Because there are stars in the sky. Because flowers bloom in spring. Because cats purr. Because waves crash against the shore. Because of every single little thing we can see, hear or feel. Because we love and are loved. Because there are things to do and discover. Because why not?

And you tell them this, by letting them see that there is more to life than the little they have seen. The Forum has closed it's eyes to anything but it's own kith and kin, everything outside of Old Sharlayan is irrelevant(non-intervention, always non-intervention) and it takes the entire world coming and telling them "We are here. We are alive, and we will make tomorrow happen." for them to realize they have slowly been killing themselves and what they stand for(you pride yourself on knowledge, but where is your wisdom? What do you truly know of things outside your own bubble? You do not know that which is lived because you refuse to aknowledge anything but the written word).

The Loporrits see Etheirys itself, they experience it's corners and valleys and learn what love can really be. They want to save it, truly save it, because they love and this time it's informed, it's personal(I love you, I love you, and I want you to know I love your loves too).

In Garlemald everything is slow, unsteady and complicated, but it's changing. They're changing. With every person who accepts help the illusion of supremacy and "purity" melts away just a bit, and the wall standing between them and us breaks a little(it will never vanish completely, years upon years of oppression and subjugation and conquest don't disappear like that, but it's a start).

Shadobringers is about learning how to live, but Endwalker is about learning how to love life.

#FINALLY I FOUND A WAY TO PUT IT TO WORDS #its like. shb is about trying and trying again and again regardless of how it turns out- #because life is a game of dice were any and all sides are possible #but you have to throw it. because if you dont you wont get anything- be it good or bad #and thats not living #and ew is like. doing things not because you have to but because you *want* to #you throw the dice because you want *that* side(s). because you want something (to happen/to exist/to love) #living is trying and loving is wanting. you cant love without life and you cant live without love. not really #i think moreso than any other expacs that shb & ew enhance each other when viewed together (in a broad sense- in a collective) #this turned halfway into poetry at the end but its the only way i could put it that made like. sense to me. its about Feeling and loving and #living and everything all at once #tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #shadowbringers #endwalker #xander rambles #going insane. my brain is melting and being build up again and again and again

[quietwingsinthesky]

do you think fourteen has a breakdown one day about just how much time with donna he lost. it was that easy, the whole time, for the metacrisis issue to be resolved, and instead of him ever figuring that out, he lost years and years of a life he could have had with her. he stood on the outskirts of her wedding. he wasn’t there when she was pregnant with rose and wasn’t there when she had her. he wasn’t there for a thousand little moments where he could have made her laugh. every time she looked for him without remembering who she was looking for could have been a time he was standing next to her. and he’s never going to get that back. time machine at his fingertips and yet somehow the one thing he never has enough of is time.

#it’d make him more grateful that he came home to her in the end but god. god. #and its not a long amount of time. not to someone like him. but at the same time. isnt it. #isnt every second that he could have had and never will get the chance to an loss so infinite that he cant stand it #its not that donna was alone without him. its not that she had no one else there to support her. #but he couldnt be there. #‘you were okay without me’ is such cold comfort when he could have been a part of her life. she could have been okay *with* him. #sorry im losing my mind over how much they both lost and how theyll have to live with that and move on from it and take what they have #and hold onto it so tightly #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #donna noble

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[mattodore]

i circle around you, a wild animal near a fire

#me roughly an hour after saying i’m not going back into photoshop today: opens photoshop #jerma going no chat come on i'm not gonna do that . and then doing that #river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #THEY ARE SOOOOOOO BUNNY AND WOLF HERE LIKE THEY NEED LITTLE EARS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ #IF I COULD DRAW WELL….. KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM SOME!!! #also if you’re thinking uhhhh river are they… you know…? 😁 they are <3 this is easily my favorite ww animation bc of this exact part #moving past that i edited these with esther in mind bc theo with long hair is kind of tearing my life apart atm too... #and i think i actually really love drawing hair strands now. all it took was giving theo long hair and i'm just. obsessed. #yeah they take me like thirty fucking minutes and i’m screaming and biting my own hands the whole time but . #doesn’t theo look good :) #and... lmao. i could’ve edited the screenshot of matthias where he’s looking directly at theo #but i like the !! sudden jolt when you go to the next screenshot and it looks like he’s staring straight at you 🫵 #it’s like he’s saying close your fucking eyes 🫵🫵🫵 #......i finished this edit at 12pm but it's just been sitting in my drafts this whole time while i try to come up with a caption dfjknkhn #i'm giving in and just using a matthias core quote for it