#the more i think about it the more stressed i become coz i have so much to catch up on and its near enough all videos that never have

[royalsweetteaa]

Hey..so I just had another HC idea..coz why not..m obsessed with your HC AU

So maybe a situation where reader had to use their safeword for the very first time in the relationship(all of them are in an established relationship with their respective CE characters already)..

Thanks😘😘

Finally back at it again with doing a CE characters HC. ~ Safewords is such a good concept to prevent anyone from feeling discomfort, and it calls for lots of fluff and aftercare after one has had to use it. -

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

Steve Rogers

I imagine you would use the safe word with him for when Steve’s trying to penetrate you but you haven’t had sex for a while, so it becomes hard getting used to his size again and you end up using it when it really hurts. The last thing he wants is to hurt you, and he dreads the moment the safe word utters out of your mouth. He will carefully pull out what he managed to put in and massage your thighs as you close your legs together.

He will apologize and whisper praises while he tucks you in a blanket and kisses your forehead. “Doll, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you…” “I’m so proud of you for using the safe word. Next time we’ll be more careful and do some more prepping, okay?” He wants you to feel strong in times of when you’re vulnerable, and he will whisper the sweetest things till you’re relaxed again.

Ransom Drysdale

Ransom would be in a bit of a shock, almost doing a double take when he realizes you said that word. He will immediately remove himself from you, not sure of what to do while you’re recovering from the pain he didn’t realize he had inflicted on you. He had a habit of fucking rougher when he was in the mood for it, and while he was in his sex daze, he hadn’t discovered your discomfort. When he pulls out, he hears your pained whine, and guilt settles in right away.

“I didn’t mean to, darling…I didn’t mean to -!” He doesn’t know what to say, nor does he know if he should comfort you or give you space. He ends up handing you a blanket to curl up in, and leaving the room out of shame, not being able to see what he has done to you anymore as he hears your whimpers. He occupies himself in his office, walking in circles out of stress. Eventually he returns and apologizes, carefully joining you under the blanket and holding you to show he’s here for you now.

Jake Jensen

Jake’s blood would run cold the moment you use the safe word, and he will stay completely still, waiting for you to tell him what to do. He was aware he had pounded into you a little faster than usual, but he didn’t think it would have hurt you to the point of saying the safe word. Once he slips out of you after you told him to do so, he will apologize profusely, pleading for forgiveness as he would rather jump off a cliff than purposefully inflict pain on you. He will hug you tight and cradle you until you eventually stop whimpering.

“Are you feeling better, peach? Do you need anything? Like anything at all?” He will ask once in a while, prepared to run to the store if there was anything you wanted. You will only ask to stay in his embrace, which makes him feel good to know you still feel safe around him despite what happened.

Andy Barber

Andy being into the kinkier stuff could certainly put you into an uncomfortable scenario once. Maybe you do bondage or choking, and you suddenly feel the need to take everything to a full stop by using the safe word. Andy will immediately stop and take control of the situation. “Oh honey, are you okay? I got a little ahead of myself didn’t I? I apologize, sweetie…come here.” He’ll coax you, pulling you into his embrace. He will comfort you, stroking your body non-sexually to make you feel safe again.

You talk about what happened after as Andy wants to know what he could have done different to prevent you from feeling uncomfortable. He will soothe you all the while, having you rest on his chest as he strokes your back. Next time you go rough and kinky, it’ll be in accordance to what you want. He will only take control again when you tell him to.

Johnny Storm

You’ll almost whisper the safe word as Johnny keeps on drilling his cock inside of you, not giving his seventh round any rest due to his high sex drive. “W-What did you just say?” He’ll almost stutter the question as he’s still high on the feeling of being inside of you. It’s when he takes a better look at you that he realizes you’re crying, and his eyes widens as he pulls out, not so gently.

“Shit…baby, are you okay? Talk to me…” he pleads while you go in a fetal position. You tell him it started to hurt and that you couldn’t take it anymore. He feels even more distraught, and decides the least he can do to make you feel better is draw a warm bath to soothe you. He becomes a little distant as he always does when he feels guilty, but after he apologizes, you’re both curled up in bed, cuddling.

Ari Levinson

Maybe Ari just came home from a mission and felt needy for some rough fucking, and after a make out session, he’s already undressed and inside of you, almost using your body as a fleshlight. What didn’t hit him before you stuttered the safe word was that you were very sensitive. It was all too much for you. He gently stops, slowing his thrusts to a complete end and then pulls out with a few strokes to your sensitive pussy. He takes you to bed where you can relax, putting you at ease with his reassurances, “It’s all over now, pumpkin, take it easy for me, sugar…” he will order softly to not send you in a panic and apologize for doing too much.

Ari won’t be going rough for a while after that as he also has to recover from it as well. He analyzes the moments before you said the safe word, pointing out what he should avoid doing next time to not push you off edge.

Thank you for the suggestion @elle14-blog1 ! ♥️

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <3

#cevans characters #ransom drysdale #chris evans character fanfiction #chris evans x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #steve rogers #johnny storm #ari levinson #andy barber x reader #andy barber #captain america x reader #chris evans #jake jensen x reader #jake jensen #johnny storm x reader #steve rogers x reader #ari levinson x reader #cevans characters hcs

[angelbvnny]

Hello hello hello hihihi i read your "nap time" fic thing and i really luked it and i saw your requests were open so so can i request childe with a black cat personality type reader? Like they give off an intimidating vibe and dosent talk much but when theyre with him they get ao affectionate and clingy coz they feel safe with him<3 (but still gets flustered easily) reader still dosent talk much but shows that they love him through physical touch and gift giving :D

(Sorry if this was long TT)

Childe x Black Cat Reader

EEEE this is so cute thank you for the request! This is also my first request so i hope you enjoy <3

Sfw, gn!reader, fluff

You're a rather intimidating person. It's not like you do it on purpose, but your natural resting face is off putting, and you aren't one to initiate conversation. So you can imagine everyones surprise when they see someone as sociable and outgoing as Childe hanging out with you. Let alone have his arm draped around your waist!

Although the two of you couldn't be more different, Tartaglia loves you more than air itself. And he gets weak at the knees knowing you feel the same about him. He finds it so endearing how you cling onto him any time he's over, and how flustered you get when he reciprocates :) he also finds it very cute when you buy him little gifts you think he'd like. His once rather barren room now filled with little reminders of you.

But his favorite thing that you do is when you visit him at work! Of course only on days when he's working on paperwork in his office, he would never want put you in to any kind of danger. But despite what most might think, these are the hardest days for Tartaglia. Being stuck crammed in a room with nothing more than to read documents and sign papers, it drives him up the wall! He becomes more irritable by the minute, feeling like he will snap at any moment.

That is until you arrive :) and he feels all the tension and stress in his body dissipate as soon as he sees you. As you close the door he pushes his chair back, opening his arms to you. You don't waste a second hopping in his lap, holding him. On these days you're always sure to bring him a meal with plenty of nutrition to keep him fueled for the rest of the day. As the two of you share the meal, he tells you all about his day so far as you intently listen <3

I had so much fun writing this! It helped me get out of my writing block ^^

#childe #childe x reader #childe fluff #tartagila #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia fluff #childe drabbles #tartaglia drabbles #ajax #ajax x reader #ajax fluff #ajax drabbles #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin drabbles #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact drabbles

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi JWB! Aisha this side 😊

How are you doing? I hope everything is fine with you and I genuinely hope and pray that you are doing good, because though I don’t know you personally but with your blog and podcast and everything you put out there, now you’ve become a part of my life. Whenever I feel low or miss iss pyaar ko I just open your blog and then there comes a big smile on my face and I forget what I was stressing about. So thank you dil se for existing and making us happy with all your love and warmth through your blog.

Lol this long above message might make you feel emotional but trust me whatever even written is true.

So my ask is,

Well we all know how Arnav was very bad at expressing love initially though. It was During Akash and Payal wedding he concluded to himself he loves Khushi.

But Khushi being filmy and dramatic to the core, understood what love is and knew she has fallen in love with Arnav, way before even Arnav even wanted to admit that to himself. So why didn’t Khushi confess to Arnav that she loves him.

These days I mean not literally, but from quite a recent times…women confessing their love first, they go for it confidently if they believe in their choice and love and ask out the guy.

So I wonder why didn’t Khushi take the first step. Well I know Arnav being Arnav any girl would think twice if the boy has dark, intimidating and angry personality. But since Khushi had started getting the acidity and dhak dhaks, wasn’t she sure enough to herself if that’s the guy. Or was she waiting for him to have same sort of feelings for her or so??

Because when that Shyam wrote on the mirror to meet on terrace and when she misunderstood that it was Arnav calling her on the terrace, she kinda knew that he wants to discuss something about their growing attraction towards each other.

So with that thought in mind, I wonder why didn’t Khushi confess to Arnav first that she loved him.

Well, I hope you share your thoughts on it and I’d love to read them coz you write those so sweetly and everything you interpret from your pov always makes sense to me. Hehe!!

Lots of love JWB! and I hope I haven’t written a long ask that would make you sleep while reading, haha!

Tumhare jawab ka intezar rahega 💗

Love

~ Aisha

Hello Aisha!

Apologies for the delay in response! I am doing well and thank you so much for the genuinely sweet message. It made my day. I am so touched. All I ever intended was for some little fun over here and your words just made this a very special place 🫂

Have you heard of the phrase once bitten twice shy? That’s the case for Khushi. During Diwali she was head over heels in puppy love for Arnav - they even nearly kissed - but it was all over in a smoke and Arnav had very cruelly stated that it could’ve meant something for her but for him neither she nor do any of their mutual moments mattered.

So when Khushi gets feels again for Arnav and he’s being sweet - she doesn’t want to get hurt and is very confused where it’s coming from. He’s been kind before, he’s even softly flirted before - she is taken aback by the open flirting and interest he shows to her.

Is she imagining things? Is Arnav going to break her heart again? She simply isn’t ready to harbor anything romantic for him and is more anxious than flustered by the romance.

By Haldi she wants him to take the first step. Of clarifying what’s between them. Why did he buy bangles? She’s actually asking him to rise about the silence of whatever’s between them. To give it a name.

But when she watches him be a waiter, happily, while serving food to her guests that’s when we see a huge change in Khushi. She starts testing romantic waters again.

This time fear is replaced with anticipation. She’s more participative in whatever he’s showing. Hence she gently asks for his opinion on the saree and can’t wait to hear what he has to say because everything feels so good to be true.

And unfortunately in her case, it was.

Hope you had a good time reading this answer as well!

Best,

- JWB 💕

#ask #Aisha #about Khushi

[editorialsonlife]

15.10.23

Aaaaah where to even start at the moment.

The election last night sucked balls. I'm so deeply unimpressed and worried about the future of this country, and the fact that so many people think an individualistic capitalistic hellscape is the only way forward. We've lost sight of the fact that a rising tide lifts all boats, and I'm so worried about the future for our lower income, marginalised, already discriminated against people and what this outcome will mean for them ya know? It's incredibly rough and it's going to be incredibly interesting to see where the next few years lead us.

On a personal level.... it's been a month of chaos. I had a lovely weekend with a friend in sydney, started the antidepressants when I got home (which has been a whole trip that I will delve into more) and then in the same three days, my friend ended up in hospital and was airlifted to our bigger wellington hospital for emergency spinal surgery with a significantly high risk of becoming paraplegic or quadriplegic. It was a really insane, really stressful few days, but damn oh damn did we absolutely have a great time being in the same city again honestly. it was so good seeing her every day for like a week. She ended up having the emergency surgery which went well, but they've identified problems with just about every vertebrae and disk in her spine so that's not great. fortunately, she got quite a lot of function back after her surgery. She's still in for a long road of recovery, but given she was walking around a ward clutching my arm and could barely get 10 steps in before needing to sit she's done amazingly well. This is the girl I hike mountains with, we do yoga, we've done bootcamp and weightlifting and walks and everything in between and I am so terrified for her and her family. so stressful honestly.

That was a super great week to start tablets that make you more deperessed and anxious before they start working adn unfortuantely for me I've hit just about every common side effect and some of the obscure ones as well while I've been onboarding up to a full dose. I'm still not there three weeks in and I probably won't be for another three at the rate I'm going tbh but anyway.

I think it's also starting to sink in just quite how depressed I actually have been for a very long time and there's a bunch of self reckoning and grief that comes with that and its feeling like a whole thing at the moment. I also just cannot. CANNOT. Start things at the moment and it's the actual worst. if I have to deliver something for someone else then I can pull it together briefly (and v last minute) but I cannot get anything done for myself or if there's no impending deadline and all I can say is this better fucking pass really quickly coz I'm not about this life it's incredibly hard to manage.

I also just... do not know who I am anymore or what I like or what I do for fun? All my weekend friends have left and Dave is such a homebody and now I just don't do anything in the weekends? I have no one to go on walks with or get coffee with and its a really weird thing to deal with? I have a load of friends but with Lynaire and Larissa gone, and Shelley constantly in Auckland it's all just completely shifted? I don't like it and I need to do something about it. I also don't know what I do for fun anymore or just for me and I need to find some things like asap.

One of the v interesting things to come out of the Sydney trip tho is that the friend I was visiting is SUCH a gym person and counts macros and gyms every day and even tho I'm like 40kg overweight I absolutely had more endurance than her. We were doing like 20-25,000 steps a day and she was so cooked by the end of it but I still had the energy to go for a swim etc and go for an evening stroll. So I guess there's that even if I am horrendously fat right now.

I dunno what this govt change is gunna do for jobs but I'm finding that a weird thought. I don't know what I'll do for work when I move to palmy or if I wanna retrain or something. Will be weird. who knows. I honestly can't picture anything before T swift in feb next year. the future is just so unknown right now so I guess that'll just keep rolling. time will tell and we'll meet it when it gets here.

that about sums it all up really?

[dojae-huh]

let's get to the point...when johnjae doing ennana was the time they were very close and one of ur blog u mentioned that it must be with johnny when jae must have shared that he is a gay or he is interested in dy??.....that much close they were...I mean ofcrs they should coz they did that job for almost .2years right?? Okay...why u think they started to keep distance especially jae..is it becoz jn is very touchy with him then what about woo now?? He wont miss out any chance to touch jae..and jae to ten...he is totally ok with him..(but I agree on that point that people like jae is very selective with people whom they want to close..he is a picky one tho..) or is it becoz did jn had crush on jh? Is that why he taken back ...and u think jae still need time to get too close to jn..he choose it that way..dont knw...but on the other hand dy...u knw johndo is on the rise now...I mean after the patch up in made with dy they really become so close...nd I dont think dy have a problem with Jenny's touchy nature...

Lastly I want to say this ..finally jh let jaemin kiss him....haha...but my question is why he said untill 24?? Isnt it 20 yes to become major in Korea??

I'm sure I didn't use the word "must".

Mostly due to the fandom, back then I was of the impression that JohnJae were closer than they appear to me now. Therefore I said that maybe Johnny was the one to know. He saw how Jaehyun changed when Doyoung guested on the show, Johnny is attentive to people in general, he is one of the oldest neos. If there ever was a talk about girls and "your type", Jaehyun could have came out to Johnny to stop the topic. Their arrangment as two co-hosts on EnNaNa and being roommates back then allowed for it. Currently I doubt Jae would have said more (the confession, the problems), in part to keep Do's side of the things in secret.

Jaehyun was more tolerant of people when he was younger, with age he became less welcoming. Sorry for yet another comparison with a dog, but it's similar to how a puppy turns from a clingy tail-wiggling being to a stand-offish young dog who shows teeth protecting food and toys. As Jae grew up, he wanted to stand on a more equal ground, and that involved his personal space not being invaded, him being left alone more often. JohnJae are gym and wine buddies. They have a normal friendship, they are just not intimate friends who go to each other for advice and emotional support with big problems. Jaehyun is more comfortable with Taeil in the role of hyung.

Woo is sneakingly touchy, and he gets stopped and "slapped". I wrote enough about how with Woo Jae had to start to be passive-aggressive. He is the only neo Jae is like that with. With Woo it is easier though, he is not a bear-like presence, he can't lift up Jae and twirl him around.

No, nothing indicates Jae had a crush on Johnny. I do think he finds him attractive and that he is physically affected though, Jae gets red when JN is too touchy with him.

As for my comment about JohnJae possibly becoming closer later. Neos had growing pains the first 7 years, as everyone had their own problems, there was tension and lack of long intimate talks. Everyone was overworked, stressed, unsatisfied. Now 127 are closer to each other, more understanding, individually more content and fullfilled. Johnny is a person who wants to have long-lasting friendships. There is no need to be on Do's side anymore and worry for him for Jae, see Johnny as a source of Do's displeasure.

I don't know why it is 24. It's was Jae's condition, Jaemin uses it as his permission card. 19 is the legal age, 24 could be the "real" age of becoming an adult. Finishing uni, entering the workforce.

[valleynix]

I have gathered my thoughts so the bonus commission analysis is here.

"Get your ass up before I drag you through the halls”

Please😭 I love her. She's scared for her but she ain't going soft on her there 😭

NOT THE KITH OH MY GODDESS.

NOT THE KISSES.

A rare moment to cherish. Even tho the events are scary. And they may die :')

"This feeling in her chest is… new. She’s never felt like this toward Bela, of all people – this need ​to protect"

NO BECAUSE THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I LOVE THIS CONCEPT SO MUCH. Because Cass being protective over Daniela is quite the obvious one, she's the baby sister. Plus Bela most of the time is more than capable of handling herself well. And she strikes me as someone who would have a hard time admitting she needs help and asking for it. And she probably thinks she needs to be the one helping her sisters coz she's the oldest, and not the other way around. So she rarely is in obvious need of help and protection. So to have Cass take this role when it comes to Bela is just so

AND THE TEASING PLS they ain't letting it go even then. I like this mix of fear, worry but also jokes😭 my traumatised little flies <3

I think their dynamic is being little shits to each other daily, but they still care for each other even though they rarely have such soft moments to show the love this way.

And Cass definitely has a "only I can be an asshole to her" attitude and she'd throw a sickle at anyone who's mean to Bela even if she herself takes any chance to annoy the shit out of her.

But she wouldn't admit that she cares😭

And that's why I love them so much and those little moments of them are so sweet.

Thank you for bringing this scenario to life and doing better than capcom at showing they do care for one another 🫶

That was a fast delivery service too😭

(and you might hear from me again)

EHEHEHE IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!! I WAS LOWKEY WORRIED BUT AAAAAAAA

i love Cass so much 😭 there is no way in hell she's going to be caught being soft for BELA, of all people

THE KITHES!!! i didn't know if Cass's made sense (given her previous attitude) but idc Bela needs to know she's there for her, even if she was literally just talking about throwing her back to Ethan 😭

I TRIED SO HARD TO GET THIS FEELING RIGHT- like yeah obviously Daniela is the main one she looks after, and Bela is 100% more than capable of taking care of herself a majority of the time. i highly doubt she's ever really admitted she needs help and more than likely just ends up letting her stress pile up until she can no longer deal with it in a healthy way, and that's when Cass notices and steps in

(don't tell anyone that she's definitely studied Bela before so she knows what to look out for if her sister becomes too stressed and needs to be looked after for a change)

having a protective Cass is just so.... please, her need to be the only one that's mean to Bela 😭

HEHE THE TEASING WAS MY FAVORITE PART, aside from the emotional bits of it </3 i love these tragic idiots so much, my fav sisterly bonding

i feel like they're too different to get along a majority of the time, and mostly only bond when it comes to Daniela or when literally no one is looking or everyone is asleep. they annoy the shit out of each other (especially Cass) but they probably also sat together a few times and just did their own things </33

that is definitely how Cassandra feels- she is the only person allowed to be mean to Bela and she will murder someone for even looking at her older sister the wrong way.

BUT AAAAAA IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <33 i was actually off this weekend so i wanted to get it to you asap but i fear my brain is mostly mush now 😭 but it was worth it <333

#asks #EHEHEHE #the smile that was on my face while i read this pls #ily

[playwords]

THE BIGGEST EXAM SENSATION IN THE COUNTRY

Board exams- a word that is often accompanied by an infusion of fear and apprehension in the mind and soul of an individual, an event in the life of every Indian student that brings with it a great amount of pressure from parental and school side, a platform to face competition for the first time and the premiere milestone in this arena of what we call life. I, having had a first hand experience of the days of the life of a tenthie, stepped into the year 2021 all set for the ICSE Class X Board Examination, ready to face whatever hurdles were thrown at me and to endure a constant insecurity about my preparation. Fresh out of my lockdown days, it took some time getting back to the regular school routine and making myself comfortable with the idea of the two semester system that the council had introduced for the board takers, owing to the extraordinary situation. The year as always began with a long lecture from our teachers about how important the following year would be, testing every bit of our patience, intellect, dedication, perseverance and all the other things required, leaving us in a bit of what felt like dilemma, that we were finally in the class everyone dreaded. All the kids, obviously to get a head start, already joined into tuition classes for all subjects but at the end of the day, it really comes down to how much you can retain and understand. The year passed by with the ever looming dread of the boards over our heads all the time, threatening and warning us. Two preboards in school made me pretty annoyed at how many times you could do the same things again and again. It turns out now when I’ve passed my class X with a whopping score of 98.4 that it was a hoax planned by our teachers. My board year was nothing like what I’d been told by people. I enjoyed it like any other and did not cut down on any of my activities or hobbies. Of course half the credit goes to my parents for not being the villains in my life and believing that I’d do well. I’m just gonna say that as long as you manage to keep a cool head and a calm aura right up to the day of the exam, trust me nothing can take those marks away from you. You need to trust the knowledge that you have, all that you’ve learnt and just give it your best shot. Coz people if you’re not the school topper or things didn’t go as planned, it’s not the end of the world please. You can plan again, try once more and you can choose your board year the way you want it to be. There are no implications on you so just work the best you can in a way that’s more convenient to you.. it does teach you a lot, somehow shapes you into a better person- someone who can handle stress when they have to. So for the people who think boards are a nightmare, guys just relax and play along because life goes on and at the end of the day, so do you.

Thanks Mom and Dad for just being there when I didn’t feel like myself at all and for not being like all the other parents, for not letting me become boring just for a board exam. By Sheryl, fresh passout from class X

[immoralraigan]

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

salty mun saying salty things meme

So like-- I haven't had many terrible experiences with rp, I guess? maybe I'm just lucky. But the ones that did hit me were so catastrophic i may or may not have a bit of trauma connected to it.

The most notable one actually involved an entire ring of friends, who I thought at the time that I'd keep for the rest of my life. Together with them, we made up the entirety of a game's tumblr rp community at the time; it wasn't very big, honestly. ... OK, well I'll just come out and say it coz I don't think there's anyone left from that bygone era: it was the f f 9 rpc. We were tight. The whole group was welcoming to newcomers, and honestly I was super proud to be a part of it.

I won't deny that there was a black sheep or two; a couple people that actively caused drama, but I was never targeted by them, and the majority of us just tried to ignore them anyway.

(Actually yknow what I'm putting the rest of this under a readmore bc it's SUPER long)

Either way, things started to fall apart after a lot of the group got absorbed into playing f f 14... And uh... one by one activity in the group slowed to a stop. I felt like I was being left behind and decided to, yknow, try it out... not coz I was interested in 14, but coz like, I wanted to keep hanging out with my Friends, yknow-- not be forgotten and all.

I kind of hated it? Like, I absolutely despised f f 14? I hated being locked into doing dungeons, I hated the story, I hated the music and the art direction... I REALLY hated the battle system and the UI layout... and I especially hated that I was pouring time and money into this that I wasn't gonna get back. I was happy to still be with my friends, but the strain was showing between everyone even more than I had been noticing before. There was drama I hadn't been aware of going on that I wished I hadn't become privy to. They were becoming less of a friend group and more of a... mass of toxicity. In short, I was not having fun and I was wasting money and time on something that was only causing me stress.

A year & a half and $400+ later, I canceled my subscription. And no matter what any of them did, I would not do any more free trials or accept gift subscriptions-- I was that fed up with it.

I guess more in-fighting continued even after I had left. I stayed in the d iscord server, but I felt more and more forgotten over time, and I guess there was this one last argument between two people that just-- that was the final straw for me. So I left the d iscord without any further notice. I'm pretty sure nobody in that group minds that I'm gone, even to this day. I imagine they didn't like me for being so neutral about everything and unapologetically despising f f 14. I don't fault them for that. They're free to stand by their game.

It's not all bad though, I guess. I at least still have good memories of the many shenanigans we got up to in the rp days, and the old rp blog is still around-- though my own antics from that time makes me cringe now, lol. Either way. I don't blame anyone for any of what happened. I still care a lot about those people and hope they're doing well, no matter what path they chose in life. The only thing I've blamed in this story for the longest time is f f 14, namely for tearing them away from me and bringing out the worst in everyone. That and I guess I blame myself for having such flimsy constitution against these things.

Oh one last about all that drama-- the 'black sheep' people I mentioned about mid-post? They were at the center of the in-game f f 14 drama, from what I could gather. It was just typical... I guess they finally got to the group after all.

But yeah I guess that's less rp-related and more just... "hello time for your precious friend group to be torn apart" related.

#palidinus #ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅ's ɪᴍᴘᴇʀɪᴀʟ ᴛʜʀᴏɴᴇ 「 ooc 」 #( story time ig lol #I have actually grown a lot from my stance on that game tho. it just took a lot of time to heal #who knew a videogame could be at the center of traumatic experiences lmao #but no nah i dont actually quite feel repulsed by it anymore. it's just like... a game after all ) #( still makes me sad )

[bibbykins]

Yoooo, this week's been hell for me and only yesterday did I get to sleep well. Thanks for the new update and I'm telling you I've been rereading it a lot and thus, have a lot of questions in mind (which you may or may not answer)

First off, I just wanna say that Mona is such an interesting character coz, Idk, am I the only one who can't pinpoint what character she really is? Like I don't know if she's supposed to be a good person or not. Like sometimes, I think of her like that one girl from heartstopper where the girl said "I'm an ally" who to me, is actually an ally but has no idea how to do it right? (Am I making sense lmao), but yeah idk. Plus I'm saying this coz Jin said, "Mona adopted me and gave me connections, so I talked nicely".

That means that he can betray her right? So that means she's jsut another vermin to him. Idk, nonetheless, she's a very very interesting character and I really anticipate what she'd become as the story progresses.

Second, in "The Plunge", as from Jimin's pov he said "Jin is too nostalgic with the old dean to even see" which to me seemed that Jin wasn't as "devoted" to the mc as he claimed to be in "Princess" because he couldn't see/feel the stress from the mc from that meeting. Additionally, that scene/statement also meant to me that maybe the Woo family had meant something to him which again put holes in his claimed "devotion". With all these said, I think that it's only reasonable for the mc to lose a little bit of trust from Jin, and so my question for this is did she lose a little bit of that trust? Would Jin see that?

Next, Jungyoon. What happened to him and Mona after the dinner? Will Mona fire Jungyoon? (This maybe a spoiler so I understand if you can't answer this).

Next, did the men knew with the exception of jungkook and maybe jimin, what Jin did? (Like how Jin introduced mc to her abuser's father? How did they react? Or did they only know that Jin and the mc had an argument of some sort but wasn't actually aware of anything more than that?)

Next, when Jin fell on his knees for the mc just to apologize, will the other men do the same thing if they felt that they made a horrible mistake? Or do they have different reactions?

I forgot all the things I wanna ask so I'm just gonna comeback later lmaoooo. Thank you again for such a wonderful update.

Hi!! And thank you for the questions!! I shall answer what I can, but I really love these question so even if I can't answer some just know that💗

1. Mona is... an interesting person, and a lot of the guys have completely different perceptions of her at times which very much so depends on when/how they met her so I'm excited to delve more into everyone's relationship with her bc not even MC fully knows. I will say to the likes of Jin and Hoseok (but not limited to just them lmao) she's just some woman who took claimed them as her children rather than their mother esp bc she adopted them first and so was much less prepared... but I'll leave it at that for now

2. This is a great time for me to bring up that sometimes the guys are unreliable narrators, not often but when it comes to who they perceive as a threat to MC, they can assume the worst of everyone- including each other. So the reality was Jin was just looking at Mr. Woo while they were talking and is straight up not used to having to make sure other people are okay- trust me, he has learned that lesson now lmao, so Jimin was observing from a place of being fiercely protective and obsessed with MC. Therefore, I can confirm that Jin feels nothing but hatred for the Woo family now nor did he feel anything but contempt for them before. Jin is a dummy but he would never lie to MC. MC, despite being kind of naive, is no dummy and can clearly see when someone is more or less lying to her about their feelings, especially Jin. So though her trust in him did falter, that conversation kind of fixed that (deserved or not) since she, too, is love starved.

3. That one would be a spoiler but will be answered in time!

4. This will also be answered in time!

5. They all react differently depending on the level of fuck up but none of them are above getting on their knees to beg for forgiveness, but odds are I'll write something more detailed in the future!

Thank you for the questions and send as many as you want!!

#ask #the household bts

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

11.23.23 Thursday

9:06 pm

Here with Ely and using his phone again to do some multi-tasking coz I'm downloading movies on my mobile,good thing it connects now on their wifi.

I have windblow and still a windblow since 2007... I feel bitter and super angry and irritated...

Since we are not having cablewifi we are dwelling on that fuck Eagle 95.5 coz in a way I like thier style but still they are considered a FUCK! WHY???

I sent them message coz it is my freedom to do as one of their listener's and I wanted them to do a shoutout for me about my baby-Borgy that I wanted to have him. I was listening and the DJ's were not reading it even if I sent a copy of my message on their mobile number.

Peachy is a fuck having a same name as one of my artist name...What is she saying carry what??? Carry can be a positive or negative.... DJ's are just FUCK sometimes they think only of themselves that they are a better women in this world. No way for me!!!

9:17 pm

I still feel bitterish and angry and just done watching that "Killer", a killer and I have the same problem these days...I have this "marital stress" nobody is taking me seriously from the past years,months and days. Remember recently someone just told me that I was "irrational" coz I figured out that I was not his type but those Red Horse, Gin Pomelo, Tanduay women... ( dreadlock guys/miles ) Just for take note: "Nothing more,Nothing less".

What can I do? I'm just a very sweetish "Tequila Rose"….He just told me that I was irrational or simply means insane or simply means " You are not my type"...

9:23 pm

But on the reality of realization of maturity I have to have Borgy, but how to get my baby?? I wanna leave Cavite in a lil while... Still have windblow and I'm a college graduate! Hellowie!! If I'm becoming irrational or insane it is because I like you so much Borgy!

Being irrational means liking someone or I'm into him... I hate sane person when he will say that "I like you or I love you". I will just believe on something INSANITY!

9:30 pm

Still,my Aunt Teresa is really, really weird just like my missing "old fucking friends" are they real? I mean friends of mine? Or just fucking competing at my back? Hey! My friend, why don't just tell me the real thing or since when did you guys start this "simple battery" on me? Until when, hey guilty???

9:35 pm

About the house on the side of the kitchen whew! House of my Uncle DD and Aunt Karen, the worker were working on the roof or roofing this whole day. Of course it is something beautiful coz brand new, no crowded stuff inside their house yet...

Someone just left a red backpack on the new created roof,it was funny coz I remember how important to have a backpack when you planned something with someone on the downhill ( just a back story,nothing more,nothing less).

Still, my family can't assist me on money for me to do some important things... Still, hating my biological mother and her gang for being selfish.

I still need to get my job and money and I still wanna buy Starbucks everyday... I'm not ohkay,I need money and job. I feel self-pity.

What's goin' on ilocos? I still wanna see and touch or touch ground on sand-dunes in spite of some plastics rocks and pebbles...

9:47 pm

I told someone that I wanted to marry Borgy next year on sixth,seventh or eight month of next year ( equivalent of 666 ) Of course we can't do 69 baby... Can we???But how?? I mean I asked an old friend on my old religion coz our friendship shouldn't affect our differences such as on religion and for "old time sake". I told him hey! I lost my fundings... I wanna marry my baby,this baby .... But I lost my fundings for 16 years.

Insanity but sane...This is my favorite picture of HIM and I like him so much...

10pm

I hate this Uncle Jun for bullying me to stop my "me time"... My me time is something sane, coz it was and still my routine since I need to do it coz of my sciatica/S-Bones/ Priformis pain. I hate my Uncle Jun for saying stop doing that, I somehow shouted that huh?! No way!!! I have to control my weight but not only for HIM but for myself, it is my "Self-Love" the last sane thing I can do for myself these days since I can't get a job and I'm self-pitying.

Baby should understand my me time coz I love eating like this...

10:11 pm

I have to go home now...Just going walking home to our house...

Which is which???

Which is which Baby???

#Youtube

[connectingchaos]

🥈LAME

On your blog, I was the one being continuously insulted for months now with your "personal insults and attacks".

I've kept my mouth shut.

YET here I am, getting blamed for some random account I never even heard of for things I didn't say nor would even do.

I'm sure you've asked M, argued and insisted about it, trying to prove your beliefs or thoughts on it but I'm going to burst your bubble right then and there --

I will never admit anything coz there's Nothing To Admit. And that's NOT of pride or ego but bcoz its NOT even mine. The fact is, I don't even say nor use those kinds of words. And it's SHALLOW, really.

TBH, I could've counter-reacted ALL those nasty words you've been saying against me but I am NOT that person.

You do you, and you're just projecting yourself. PITY.

So STOP making this about me.

Its never been about you either.

Its always been about M.

M knows me more than you do. Heck! I know myself more than you both.

Your choice of words show the type of person you are.

Your ways of actions and choices shows your character.

Still don't get it?

In other words, I'm not dumb and I won't go low just to do nonsense. I won't exert effort on anything that doesn't and wouldn't even contribute to my well being. So Why would I even do something that could drag me to hell? What would be my motive? Why would I post petty things, taunt you even, if its just going to stress me out?

LAME.

Create a false account for what?

What's in it for me?

What would I benefit out of it, really?

Why would I post malicious words and images that I know would hurt the person I love?

Why would I wreck the chance that I have with her when all this time, all I want is for her to get better?

Why would I create chaos through insults against you or anyone for that matter while I was actually trying to mitigate the situation?

THAT would be STUPID. Try to make sense out of it. REALLY.

Pardon, but regardless of what your thoughts and ideas are, which you think are true to you btw -- I wouldn't do what YOU do BEST.

If you can insult me and choose harsh words you use on your blog against me, that doesn't mean I would.

I am NOT like you.

If you can vilify me on your 'known' blog, use and write nasty words or lame insults, its actually more obvious that you have the capability to create that account, write in spite, and make it sound like its me.

COINCIDENCE? YES, it truly is.

It was so coincidental why when I finally agreed to compromise and allow you and M to CHAT for friendships sake, would that account exist to counter my goal of being civil between us all?

I am NOT insinuating that its actually YOU who own that blog -- BUT by the sound of your accusations, those posts you're crying wolf for, it actually sounds more favorable for you and make me the villain. Sneaky, really. Obviously, I would never get anything out of that suspicious account in any way. Posting "sensual" stuff would never make me win her affection. That alone says its NOT me. Seriously, even the choice of words makes me vomit.

Since I didn't have the chance to read that entire account, I wouldn't know the truth. For all I know, that blog is just causing drama, creating havoc, but who knows for whom are those posts for? It could even be a random account made by anyone for someone else. And here you are so affected.

But really, for who's favor? I don't have anything to get out of it so why am I being accused here? I'm actually more concerned of what could make things better FOR US ALL. And that's what I've been trying to do. So I want to point out, Who's been against becoming CIVIL in the first place?

I don't even think of doing those things, plan to, nor have I even imagined myself blab nonsense. I don't stoop low. I'm not even sure which is the worse insult here. To be accused for the blog? Or to be thought of as callous? Not to mention, the posts are ridiculously stupid. I'm actually MORE insulted NOT on the ACCUSATION but on those WORDS from the POSTS I am being accused of. In M's words the posts were, "Salitang kanto? kalye? Bastos." In other words, CHEAP. And I'm NOT. So really, If I'm going to write posts against you or taunt you, I can do far better. And to clarify -- these POSTS (you're reading right now) are meant for TRUTH alone.

So If you're anticipating me to admit whatever nonsense --

That's NOT ME.

TBH, I don't want to even waste my time on you. But for M's sake and for what we have, I would be civil. That's how much I lover her. BUT if you can't respect me, M and what WE have, then find some place else to dump your shit.

If you don't want to believe anything I've said, and if you want to keep believing your own accusations, that's on YOU.

This is my only attempt to explain my side.

RUDE? I was never rude.

I wouldn't ignore your blatant posts and insults if I am. I don't even care what you're saying coz obviously, you don't know what's going on and you don't know me. Tell me, who's been consistent posting hasty content and was rude here?

I don't INSULT people. I don't ATTACK.

I'm better than that.

I tell the TRUTH.

You feel attacked? That's not me. Reality is just slapping You with the TRUTH.

And obviously, you hate it.

If you can deceive the "person you said you love" for 11 long years,

how can anyone believe you're truthful?

You feel betrayed? I'm sure you are.

But who betrayed who first, in the first place?

Look within yourself. Look at your own choice of words. Your actions. Look at your blog. Compare it, REALLY. But i guess, you won't get it. Your mind is flushed with hatred and despair.

You can go on and believe what you want to believe who wrote what and posted those insults but I'm sure it ain't me. Its actually pretty lame to feel attacked with my PERSONAL accounts 'reblogs' about posts that was NEVER even meant for you. Those are my thoughts. WHY on EARTH would I even think of you as I reblog those content?

Like, really? Is that how much you're thinking of me? That's flattering. Thank you but no thanks.

If you're up and about with your condescending words, attacking me or M, or both of us bcoz of what you feel, then Go ON. I don't care. You're the one who's exerting energy, creating chaos and stress upon yourself. Enjoy doing it.

Again, I AM NOT CREATING ISSUES HERE.

I never did.

And I am just standing on my ground.

Hence, IT'S NOT ME who created that lame blog.

#reality

[jxnscz]

I made a mistake by telling them…… they misunderstood as I thought they would. I’m so angry at me i want to hit myself very badly. Now everybody thinks I’m just overreacting or wasting my time or it’s about my dad…. It is not.

I don’t even know what it is about

Giving me examples and life lessons they think I’ll feel better but they’re wrong it made me feel more worse…. I still don’t know what to do when I want to hit myself… scratch my skin or when I think about suicide…… everybody says to keep myself busy and not to take stress but how can i do that when my body’s doesn’t response…

There are days when I can’t even sit or answer my phone bcoz I can’t wake up…. I just lie there crying thinking about ending …. I think about the ways but I can’t wake up coz I’m tired… i can feel my muscles sore.

It makes me think that something about this isn’t normal…. How can it be…. One day I’m all depressed crying and some day I’m just very happy and motivated then I think about those sad days and I regret that… i get angry and hit myself.

One day hitting was not calming me down so i got my divider and started scratching my wrist…. I wasn’t thinking about suicide at that time but it was calming me down…. I was confused but when i saw blood I freaked out….. I was not in control and nobody noticed it….

And about the flashbacks……. They are random nervousness but they leave me with guilt and anger. I zone out or sometimes i dream about them.

All this things don’t allow me to concentrate on present things like studying or doing things…. When I realize this i start about worrying of what will happen next and it’s all negative…. Sometimes it’s just too much to think and I feel hopeless.. i get suicidal thoughts but I’m so weak and scared to actually do it… i what if i fail at this… this is becoming worse and I know it…

I hate myself…. Why am i like this… everybody at this age is having fun and I don’t feel normal…

I just want to leave like i never existed.

#old notes #anxeity #overthinking #cant sleep #bored af #3 years back #depression

[otakubells]

Hi Tumblr!

How are you?

Sorry for the late visit. I know you know I've only ever come here to vent my frustrations in life. Well, here's a short update, i got married last year and after being married for 4 months, i decided to quit my job. It may have been quite an impulsive decision, a spur of the moment kind of thing, but know that resigning was already knocking on my head's door since 2019.

You asked if I disliked my job? No, not entirely. In fact, I've come to love it. Auditing was very challenging but it was interesting and i liked learning about my cases. I didn't like public speaking but I've come to love how we conduct seminars to educate our taxpayers (tho it always made me nervous). I liked my co workers too.

Despite this, there were cons too. I didn't liked how it felt like I only got a little time to work on my cases and it made me stressed because i always wanted to do a good job. I wanted to do more, but i wasn't able to and it was very frustrating. Over time the feeling of frustration turned to discouragement and my once burning passion died down.

Also, you've already known for a long time that I was quite the introvert type right? Well, that's also the part which brought so much stress for me at work. I had to deal with different kinds of people everyday. At first I challenged myself to face them, to face it -- my shy, aloof, no self-confidence self. I told myself i had to do it cause its part of my work and dealing with people is a must in all walks of life. I tried, i struggled hard. I think it paid off cause somehow i know i made improvements and that made me happy. But there came a time where work was so overwhelming and people were also very overwhelming that i cried myself to sleep everynight. Everyday felt like a battle I had to win and work felt like I was always standing at the tip of the cliff, and it felt like so many things were trying to push me down that cliff and I felt scared, everyday i felt scared. I was stressed, i was scared, i was anxious, it felt like i was drowning.

Everyday i fought. Sometimes I won, most of the times i lost and everytime i lose, i drowned in my thoughts and everynight it pulled me deeper.

I became disorganized and out of focus, my head was always full of things that i wanted to do but my body and mind cant keep up. I cant finish a single task because while doing one thing im thinking of another and everyday became full of distractions. My husband tried to pull me up several times but my mind was in a total mess and i always find myself drowning again. I also tried to help myself but i couldn't. I couldn't even take care of myself, i couldn't take care of the house, i couldn't take care of anything.

Then, there came a time when i felt like i was at my weakest, i had problems at home, i had problems at work, i had problems with myself. It was a time where i wished people would be a little bit kinder, but they weren't. I told myself i had enough and decided to pass my resignation letter thinking i could still find a job somewhere.

Now, I am currently a freeloader. I liked doing nothing. I liked feeling stress free. I am slowly getting back up to the surface again. But now i have new problems to face, it seems like i dont like the feeling of being useless, the feeling of depending on someone. I am scared that if I continue to be like this i would lose myself and i didnt want to feel that if i lose the person im depending now, i would become nothing, i would become empty. And now its eating my self esteem and self confidence again. I feel like life stopped beating. I tried finding jobs online, but everytime i read the job description, i doubt myself. Can i do it? Am i capable? What if I dont qualify? What if i cant do it?

I have been overthinking a lot of things and i can't help it and thats why im here typing this long long post at 1 am. Coz my insomnia is visiting me and she's here for weeks now.

I A M L O S T!

Someone save me, coz i think im starting to drown myself again.

[ohimesama]

9.15.22 Thursday--Crime but real!

3:30 am

Done,streaming at Tagged...Still,have the windblow and I feel frustrated and bitter... How can the Prince see me???

I feel frustrated and I need to get a job away from here... Whew! Not that happy... Not really happy... Plus,people on Tagged are all liars that they couldn't hear me... Weird!

3:57 am

Still having the windblow... This is not my ideal life... Hmm....Someone stole my cheap back-up phone the "Phonix" it is gone in my bag here... It is just 2k pesoses but my back-up phone.... It is actually damage,I need to bring it to the repair shop but I don't have extra money now and it's gone.... I don't like being friends with stealers even some relatives and this fake Cavite... And some church of christ and the people they recruited... They took away my life...

I don't like to stay with this kind of family that you don't know who to trust...

But you must care for your family coz it is family... I care for this family... I care so much... But whenever strange things happened,like this... My heart is breaking....

I don't like my family,I feel frustrated...I don't have a choice angels.... I feel bad coz even other people are traitor on me... I'm suffering here in my family...

Whew! We don't have a camera but as I observed Uncle Jun... He was streaming for a couple of months now then he mostly left his phone in the kitchen... That he didn't actually do from the past months or probably coincidence of his bahaviour...

I don't like this village that much,it seems cult....I feel hurt for 15 years... I feel hurt they smash me for 15 years and giving me stress and I really don't know,who trust here in my family...

I love my grandmother coz she is old... I wish her more life coz it is not ideal to be with Uncle Jun for life....RV is my brother here and original member of this house but brainwashed by the other people in this village and other people... RV was easily persuade.... What a heart-breaking story.... I can't trust Uncle DD as well for all the things he said to me from the past months like you shouldn't be here or you are not their daughter, why are you here again? But it was late last year but these days,it was smooth and kinda weird coz of money...

I don't like conspiracy... I don't like stealing things from me to change me....I don't like old friends or new friends who are part of that cult and stole my stuff,my personality and they are happy seeing my old friends even my exes...

I'm really hurt they wanna get all my passwords and all my styles....Even Uncle DD... Even on TV they all kill me unfairly!!!

I'm super hurt! Even on my biological mother stole my personality and created a group of women who already got kids but her group planned to appear them single just to go up or get a wealthy man anywhere on or off the screen... And I'm here becoming stupid....She just want me to be their supporter...

Let me go back,who stole my cheap phonix phone here?

4:46 am

I will just think that God will give something in return like a new phone,hopefully...

It is just sad,when things are missing and you are just with your family... Gets my point?

I wanna have my own house and my own rules as a partner... I don't know if I can still give birth coz will be 41 soon... My heart is breaking and I'm really,really,really hurt this is not shallow, this is serious... My menstruation is on and off and I'm aging that I hate it.. Wanna raise a child where there is love and security and etiquette and most specially enlightenment about the real world or reality... People or other men having low mentality will not take these things seriously... I feel really hurt,I feel hurt! Coz they are Filipino they don't know it,not all Filipino's but for the particular Filipino...

9:06 am

I asked Uncle Jun if he saw my other back-up phone and he said there is a phone,I put in the kitchen cabinet.... I said let me see, probably that's my Phonix phone, will send it to the repair shop,if I have money...

Then, he gave me this... I said yeah! That's my cheap back-up phone... He said he got it there in the kitchen... Hmm... Hmm...

But thank God it is here...

9:09 am

Uncle Jun went to his baranggay duty... Waiting for food providence coming from Mystery Lover...

10:18 am

We don't have money/fundings angels... We can't stop the ac here for us but most specially for grandmother...

Who will be my angel?

1:08 pm

Uncle Jun borrowed a food from his friends in carinderia's and when he returned he asked me who removed the leash of lala... I got shocked! hmm... hmm....I said it wasn't me...

1:40 pm

This uncle DD super cheap charity of 2500 per week or fundings from Japan? and they have a good life....

So, cheap to have this tight budgeting... Super cheap this fundings of 2500 per week... The bathroom soap and dishwashing paste included,super cheap!

This week we don't have 2500...

2:42 pm

I feel bitter! So,cheap... I wanna house with full complete kitchen... Not like this...

2:52 pm

Why they are reversing people here in Cavite... I feel hurt! I was the pampered one and I'm not stupid,I have intellectual ability to describe life and other stuff... Why,I have this windblow trap!

Why,they are all reversing me even those reddish! I'm Green!

4:49 pm

I still have the windblow trap... I feel bitterish... We don't have money that cheap 2500!!!

6:59 pm

I still have the windblow trap... I feel so frustrated... I wanna see donkey and camel and wanna do whitening injection.

I miss going to gym and so some butt bleaching... and probably V bleaching and clearing... I feel bitter... I need a job and wanna travel and meet a prince a charming...

I hate this windblow trap!

9:17 pm

Uncle Jun brought us a bit pricey longganisa and in fairness delicious and egg and giniling for John... Our dinner....

9:40 pm

This is my point... Why,I care so much for John's teeth...

[valleynix]

Another chapter is finished >:)

The way I didn't trust that Bela from the opening scene for even a mere second.

<"Might you grant my sorrowed soul mercy with a kiss from your-“

Snorting at her dramatics, you lean forward>

Cass got the dramatics and long dimples when she smiles after her mama. Confirmed.

"it is a flaw of mine to tell my daughters no. They’ve become spoiled since their rebirths"

CANNON

<“If you’d told me how much you cared for them when I first woke up, I wouldn’t have believed you. I’ve heard the rumors.”

“That because of what I do to keep myself and my children alive and well, I must be a monster incapable of retaining any of my humanity?”>

It's the way that in your writing you're basically calling out the people that say Alcina is an awful mom and abuses her kids coz "she's a villain".

"you find yourself smiling upon feeling the absolute bundle of nerves and racing thoughts that is Daniela Dimitrescu."

This is so real, I turn into a happy puppy whenever she's mentioned. I just go 😍🥰💞

"She makes herself right at home in your personal space, tucking herself beneath your blanket and resting her head on your shoulder, interlacing your fingers together as she settles"

:') my touch starved ass is dying in here bro

<“Good morning, little-“

“Don’t be sappy this early,” Cassandra grumbles.

THE WAY I LAUGHED PLEASE I LOVE HER SHE AINT GIVING BELA A BREAK

Now there's going to be a transition to sth more serious. Because damn.

I really admire Reader, that they still (somehow) function and try to make things right even though they're severely traumatised and despite all that anxiety. And I imagine it must be really hard for them. To keep it together, to go on with all the mess there's in their head bc of what happened and only they're aware of. The isolation and lack of a person they can share their worries with aren't helping either. And I imagine they feel really pressured to succeed, to keep the Dimis safe. They desperately don't want to lose them.

But all that stress they put upon themselves doesn't work in their favour. Their actions are chaotic. They're getting lost between what they think is right and what they think they should do for not to lose the Dimis' favour.

Reader's internal battles about whether sth is right or not and struggles to manoeuvre between it all make them feel real, like an average person that has a lot on their shoulders. Because a normal person would have a lot of doubts too and it'd be hard for them to cold calculate everything just to get to the desired point. People have feelings and emotions and they often get in the way.

And, Reader franticly wants to escape what they truly are, but I think if they accepted and embraced their darker side, the mutation, that would work in their favour. They're not "just a human", but it doesn't have to be an inherently bad thing.

You really put a lot of work to make every one of your characters complex, act and react accordingly to the events and make it feel like they're all alive inside their little fictional world. I love to read about them so much <3

HEHEHE >:)

*i was trying so hard to make it very... horror-y and unsettling, like something is clearly wrong but everything looks fine, yknow

*I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR, the thought of Cass copying her mama in some capacity is so <3333

*Alcina is best mom, i don't take criticism

*THE WAY I'VE DONE THIS (and something similar) SEVERAL TIMES LMAOO. the people who say "they're abusive!! they're SAers!!" all because they kill people need some brains. being a villain does not mean you would be the literal scum of the earth

(that's why i try to make it clear none of the Dimis would ever intentionally disrespect Reader's boundaries no matter what (feralness aside) and why i make it so apparent how much Alcina loves her daughters)

*i have some good news: you're going to love the next chapter (lots of Dani content) >:) i literally love her so much pls

*PLEASE LMFAO I LOVE THEIR SIBLING DYNAMIC, Bela tries to do literally anything and Cass is just, "Ew. Stop" HAHAHSDLFJSH

*i do think it's often easy to forget that despite it all, poor Reader has been through so much in such a short amount of time, and that's bound to make them a little... unstable. and it's easy to think you're making the right choice, blinded by what you think you should be

it's something i briefly addressed in the upcoming chapter fifteen, where Reader has been so caught up in their own head that they forget just how much their knee-jerk reactions harm/affect those around them. like, the Dimis are people with thoughts and feelings too, and their devotion to making everything right has completely blinded them to what's going on when they're not around

it does get better, and you'll see why in chapter twelve? i think? they have to learn they can trust these women they're trying so hard to protect, even as hard as it may seem and as much as they may doubt the conclusions of such acts. for being as traumatized and slightly stupid as they are, though, it's certainly going to be a journey

(plus, with Reader trying to protect them from that life and what happened, it makes them think they have to bear the burden alone, not realizing how much of a strain that puts on them. telling them all their trauma, everything they've seen... it's just not as easy to do as it is to say it aloud)

i know it can get difficult reading about this dumbass making mistakes that seem obvious to the rest of us, but with everything they've been through... :')

i'm really glad you're still enjoying it, and i look forward to what you'll say for the next chapter (and the Dani scenes >:) ) <3333

#asks #to promise the moon #i love hearing what you have to say about dani bc i just adore her to little bits #so many people in this fandom do her so dirty and im TIRED #but i've been focusing so much on her and cass that alci and bela have been a little left out </3 #i'm trying to rectify that a bit in chapter fifteen at least #hehe

[natsu2501malo]

You know I alway wondered why Marinette kept Cat Noir on the sidelines all of season 4 and I think it finally makes sense to me...

It's not a question of trust but stress.

I think stress has been pilling on Marinette's shoulder this whole time, but especially since becoming the guardian. The problem is even though she trusts Cat Noir with all her heart... she also doesn't. Let me explain.

The order will be wrong but here are some of her reasons I could think of:

The Whole Cat Blanc Thing Happened: Which may constantly make her be on guard subconsciously because she thinks "if he finds out who I am / if I break his heart again the world will end"

Being a Guardian: Master Fu essentially isolated her with all the secrets she had to keep and every time she asked to share with Cat Noir she was told that no, she can't. He made her build the habit to keep things secret from him because he can't be trusted. Not that she doesn't trust him of course but in her mind Master Fu didn't or he always thought it was best he didn't know for now. It became a bad habit and now that he left, she is left all alone to bear the weight. Because she is a guardian, she is Ladybug therefore she can't be crushed. Not because she is strong, because she can't afford to be crushed there is too much at stake... That's the mentality Master Fu left her with.

Finding out Cat Noir's Identity Ended The World: What she is left knowing after Ephemeral is that she found out his identity and something BAD happened. Bad enough that a Kwami had to use their powers without a holder (Which is to never be done because of the consequences) to repair the damages. That's how desperate the situation must've been.

Also in Ephemeral: Master Su-Han basically shows up and has a hissy fit about how you can't let the black cat miraculous holder on the loose because if we don't know his identity, then how can we know if he an be trusted?

She is given constant feedback telling her that she can't trust Cat Noir or that she can't rely on him + all the stress she probably gets having someone at her side that she trusts yes, but if she does one small mistake concerning him then the world explodes. She can't fully relax with him around anymore she has to be on guard. He probably looks like a ticking time bomb at this point. She worries over hurting his feelings, keeping secrets from him, finding out his identity (Which is something he is always pushing for) and when she's fighting she has to hope he won't be too late to help her. None of this is Adrien's fault btw, he has done no wrong. This is to show things look from Marinette's point of view.

So when she tells Alya her identity and the world doesn't immediately implodes? A little bit of weight is lifted off her shoulders. Although she carries a lot still. So what does she do? She surrounds herself with pillars, chooses heroes she knows and trusts and relies on them a little, and then a bit more, she is finally not buried in pressure that almost crushed her and since she doesn't have to worry as much with them she unconsciously relies on them more then Cat Noir not because he can't be trusted, not because she likes them more then him. But just coz it's is easier and it was an unconscious decision that happened over time.

This is how much easier it is in her mind, probably:

There Is No Guilt: She doesn't have to tell them things and they don't expect her too because she is their leader, not their equal. She made it clear from the beginning that there are here to help but can't keep their miraculous but to them that's a gift by itself so no pressure there.

She Has Alya: She has someone she can tell all her secrets too and bonus, she actually knows that she can 100% be trusted. Alya is her backup always a call away and. (I also think that's why she looks the other way when Alya messes up, because she DESPERATELY needs her support)

Cat Noir Can Relax: Although this isn't the case and she doesn't realise how much it's hurting him to be put aside. In her mind if she could take a break, she would, but she can't so at least she can lighten up the weight on her kitty. She doesn't know about his trauma and his need to be acknowledged, it's not either of their faults but without this information she can't possibly see why this would hurt his feelings.

She Can Actually Reach Them: Instead of fighting monsters by herself waiting and hoping for him to show up. (and sometimes he can't and that's not his fault) She can instead get the help she needs right away and have a whole team to support and back her up if anything goes wrong.

She doesn't rely on him as much because it's just easier that way. Less Stressful. That's it.

She does this so she can finally breathe, at last.

The pressure finally stoped dripping.

She finally mended the cracks in her walls.

Until she fully cracked and broke all at once in Strike Back.

All her pillars? GONE. Alya? Can no longer be relied on. All alone and shattered.

Then Hawkmoth threatens to make the whole world turn against her and she’s lost EVERYTHING. Cat Noir shows up and tells her that no she hasn’t lost him.

She gives him all the reasons he should also give up on her too she’s lost the miraculous, she’s a terrible guardian she tries to turn him against her coz she doesn’t believe in her self anymore she can’t do this, but most of all she doesn’t DESERVE him.

She lied, she tried to control everything she pushed him away when all he wanted to do was give her a hand surely he must hate me by now?

But instead he offers her his hand, once again he shows her that she is not alone. He is there, PARIS is still there cheering her on! More than ever in fact, despite her failing them. Despite loosing EVERYTHING the one thing she never lost, will never loose is her loyal partner, Cat Noir.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Encanto #Sorry Apparently I Had A LOT 2 Say #Strike Back #Marinette #Adrien #Anna-May #ML-Text #ML-Opinion #ML-Reaction #ML-Shook #ML-Analysis #ML-Details #Ladybug #Chat Noir #ML-Season 4 #Guardian #Chat Blanc #Ephemeral