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#the music really helps with that aspect
gifti3 · 9 months
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I really want that cat mug
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lyxchen · 4 months
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I looked at the songs for the new Mean Girls musical movie and.. why did they leave out all the songs that show Cady's feelings or emotional development?? Like... It Roars? More is better? Do this thing?? These are some of my favorite songs!!
Also I saw that they made a new song that probably replaced It Roars but I listened to it and.. it's really not the same (in a negative way)
I also heard the new version of Stupid With Love and I am so sorry, I'm totally fine if they decide to make changes to the songs but this is just. No. Because this version of the song is so not Cady. She is this little weirdo who for the first time falls in love and has such big emotions and doesn't really know how to handle them but also this crush makes her really happy and the new version just smashes that into tiny pieces and glues them back together with a weird rythm and music that is supposed to be slow and romangic but just really doesn't fit with the lyrics at all. Like I'm sorry but you can't say calcu-lust like that. You just can't
Both of these songs on the new album lack the absolute extatic excitedness Cady has for a lot of the musical which are a big part of what makes her a really lovable character in my opinion and they're also just all around very fun songs!! So to take that away and Also take away two other songs that show her inner world just makes me kinda sad :(
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shoechoe · 1 month
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I only lurked on the Internet for a long time and still do not post on most websites I visit but it really is nice to have a place where I can talk about things like animated shows and music and other assorted interests without being judged
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orcelito · 4 months
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I got 7 reactions to the post I made on this app 8 whole days ago (when most ppl in my area got 2 or 3 at the most). & Several messages I haven't responded to. Tbh I haven't bothered since that first day, bc I got what I wanted out of it (decided to try a hookup and accomplished it 3 days after deciding it), and...
We've still been texting. Sometimes about things that aren't exactly typical of what you'd think for a hookup (emotionally intimate, I guess?). Today we got on the topic of hiking and I mentioned my fav state park & she said she was planning to go there over spring break and said she'd love to bring me with her... which That is a level of accepting me in her life that I think is not typical of just a one-off hookup kinda thing.
So like... idk if we r skirting around the possibility of a relationship?? Or if we r setting up to be friends with benefits?? Would it be exclusive??? Open??? Assuming there's any kind of relationship at all??????
Idk. It feels like there's Something there. I don't know what she wants out of it. I kinda don't even know what I want out of it. But it'd feel a little weird to pursue smth else when we're in this nebulous area... it wouldn't be cheating bc it's not like we're dating, but I'd also hate it if we Did end up dating (exclusively) and then I'd have to give up someone else........
Idk. I wasn't expecting to hit it off with someone like this. I'm still pretty burnt out on serious romance, so I don't want to just jump right into a new thing. I just know that I like talking with her and I'll probably want to sleep with her again. Beyond that...
I dont know. It's all so confusing.
#speculation nation#i think im bigtime failing at the whole Casual aspect of it 😂#but i cant help being so alluring.... the girls Love a sweet nerd with a mysterious hidden darkness.....#might be why i have so many reactions too. i am for serious my post has over twice as many reactions as anyone else#idk. i have options. for now im just leaving them open.#it's only been a week now since we started chatting. still way too early to decide anything.#i will simply play it by ear. see where things take me.#we have. we have a spotify playlist. for sharing our favorite songs together. we are sharing music.#i feel like im going insane. this cant be the normal Just Casual kinda thing can it???#not when shes said at multiple points that im 'the coolest person ever' or that im really kind#oh god am i turning into one of those useless lesbian tropes????#'help this girl keeps saying im really cool and that she wants to go hiking with me and we are sharing music together#and also we had sex. do you think she likes me?'#fbkdfkshfkshdjd it sounds so FUNNY laid out like that. but the sex rly is just incidental and all ykno?#i dont know how many hookups shes actually had. i dont know how special i am to her#emotionally Or sexually. and i feel like asking would be rude.#so i am simply waiting it out. seeing where it goes. and being pleasantly surprised anytime it goes well.#the thing with the hiking today made me all 😳😳😳😳 bc it spoke of a desire to have me in her life several months from now#it's only been a week. it's only been a week. i have no idea what im doing.
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bobmckenzie · 1 year
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ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!
so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️
#(sorry there's basically a freaking diary entry in these tags damn) (needed to get my thoughts out ig lol)#i really am so grateful for him and doug. which i get could sound really silly to ppl outside of this community lol#but they've helped me through the past 8 months and have made me smile even when in the worst moods :'3#even putting the selfshipping aspect of it aside they just make me happy !!#i honestly CANNOT believe its been that long already though... time has freaking FLOWN by since sept#but actually thinking about it in that way makes me oddly motivated? like that post abt how#'the time will pass anyways.' like i could have done A LOT in those 8 months but... i didn't 🧍🏻‍♀️BUT#there's 8 more months right ahead of me to make use of. like i've been really wanting to learn music theory and production#and im scared bc of how much time it will take. but I started studying a few days ago... and in 8 months i'll have 8 months of experience#idk it's just a comforting thought#like maybe even just in 4 months on the one year bobiverssary (lol) i'll be able to look back on today#and be like WOW i learned SO much since then and made so much music etc. just need to manage my time better all around.#bc of course i also need to do my actual JOB aka finish my next novel and prep for selfpub#cause i'm excited but not nearly ready 4 when my current contract ends. idk if it'll get renewed or not but i'm cool w either outcome 🧘🏻‍♀#UMMM. i didn't expect to ramble that much LMFAO sorry i was caught off guard by the passage of time ! 😳#peanut butter and jelly donut#caitiechat
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So Erica Max and Lucas looks really upset and are going into creel house. Everybody in the dnd game got knocked out except for Erica who saved the day, and Max and Lucas weren't at the game at all so if the party gets sucked into the upside down or almost killed or something it would make a lot of sense if they were the 3 that were left
#stranger things#max mayfield#lucas sinclair#erica sinclair#also i think that eddie is aying guitar to save a lot of ppl i thought maybe the town but maybe the party if theyre all taken by vecna?#bc vecna was who they were fighting in the campaign and who killed them all so yeah thats my solid theory vecnas going to get everybody#except max and lucas who both were invited but refused to go#and from inside the upside down eddies gonna play music to save all of them from inside the upside down#i still kinda want it to be the whole town and have the upside down revealed to everybody and everybody knows that eddie saved them#bc honestly thats the only scenerio i can imagine where any of this actually helps eddie not go to prison bc how in gods name#does finding vecna help with that in the slightest#also i want erica to have an even bigger hero moment and lucas too bc the sinclairs saved the day in the begining#so thats probably lucas beating up jason in the physical aspect representing the basketball game#and erica will do some crazy joyce byers level upside down sleuthing or something and shell deal w the supernatural element#shit i thought of that while writing it and now it seems very likely and i neeeeeed the sinclairs to save the day so bad#bc they deserve it#and they have that power#i want eddie to have a hero moment#i want max to really have a moment to express herself to her friends#i feel like the times that this show really succeeds and also where it goes wrong most often is characters as plot devices bc they do need#to be devices like steve is introduced in season one as the dick boyfriend and then the good boyfriend and then they didnt know what to do#with him so they stuck him with dustin who they also didnt really know what to do with and it was great#they introduced robin bc they needed somebody that was really smart and she stuck around bc she found a good dynamic#on the flip side joyces original purpose was to be mama bear totally unhinged legend but then as the seasons went on they knew less about#what to do with her so they tried to pair her up with murray and it didnt work bc her original purpose was better#i feel like they havent really known what to do with lucas since season one when his purpose was naysayer#but now i love him as like....ok we all started out as skinny nerds and now i guess im the tallest and im sure his dnd char is a warrior#and then erica was basically a cameo in s2 and then in s3 they were like we need somebody small enough to sneak thru new child yes good#and shes suceeded as a character bc they gave her a new place that worked instead of leaving her in the place they were and hoping#it still works (mike will jonathan) or actually force the character into a totally new spot
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#unfortunately i doubt i will ever get therapy bcs i have this. thing. idk. but i believe in myself to just rely on myself?#and yeah i uhh can go on more about that BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS sorry i suck at explaining things. anyways#humans. interesting. i am fascinated by humans and myself and i'm tired of typing now GOODBYE anyways xiv music is so fucking good#and also idk how to interact w others sorry ..... i am scared of getting close to people bcs everyone i've grown close to has ended up#leaving me or i mess up! but tbh it's better now i think and also not as bad as i think but sorry i still have bad issues with. that#me saying i don't want to type anymore and then proceed to rapidly type out so many words oopsies#pls just do not PERCEIVE ME !! unless you want to ig but idk why you'd want to do that uhm#yk i like tumblr most out of all social medias bcs it feels like i can... sort of just be my weird self here! and it's not fully nice#and i still have anxiety problems and overthinking problems and whatnot which is evident by my 100+ notifs i havent checked since#christmas but that's not the point (?) idk whats the point honestly uhhhh nvm (??)#OH I LOVE FF SO MUCH tbh it's w/o a doubt still my favorite series ever but drake/nier is also up there for sure#which i think is amazing bcs i have yet to finish a game. and ive only like played idk 5 hours of replicant and automata#and then ive already spoiled myself on important aspects of all games but that helps ngl uh. i could explain but im tired of typing#ANYWAYS GOD actually noehgjbsejhbghjes i really suck w interacting w others i really wish i were better at all that#im not super introverted or shy im just kinda awkward and anxious but im a fun person and all and idk#and tbh its interesting thinking abt my personality... some parts of me havnt changed at all from a bit (/pos) like my lively. aspect of my#personality !! i was a bundle of energy and a little annoying (perhaps unintentionally but now i think its a bit more on purpose lol)#but the only person who really sees my true self is me. and the closest to that is lune. but even i dont know who i really am#and yeah... wnvr im like woa ill make more friends !! and then when i have the opportunities i suddenly dont care anymore IT SUCKS#anyways i think i have Opportunities now again so lets see haha ?? at least uhh in school. its like 2nd sem and i dont rlly have friends#as usual haha that sounds so sad help BUT its not like im disliked im just rlly quiet and shy at school..... throwback to 7th grade tho#that was rlly the worst but also now is just as bad in a diff sense but back then i cldnt talk w my crush at ALL i didnt speak at all im so#sorry about that HELPPP I RLLY JUST CLDNT SPEAK anyways moving on in my class rn i do have a group of sorts. like#we're grpmates wnvr theres grpworks and we can pick which is nice! ive been classmates w em all b4 and theyre the cool kids#but in the more fandom sense and one used to be a close friend of my twin and of mine too by extent and then the other was someone#who knew me when i was more extroverted so yeah uhhh anyways#OKAY ALMOST MAX TAGS im DONE rambling. bye. hopefully. bye. oh god
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hamable · 2 months
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“Don’t trust anything you think about your life after 9pm” I chant almost religiously as I consider buying a desktop and learning how to do VFX in Unreal Engine bc I’m spiraling about my current college/career prospects
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kittlyns · 9 months
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It's so hard having a genuinely abnormal family that makes most of your past and current experiences completely unrelatable to 98% of the general population
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lovereturns · 10 months
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i have… a lot to say about the miraculous movie but idek if it’s warranted bc it’s not like the show is good anyways JFHFJSKSK
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rogersstevie · 1 year
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saw my high school german teacher at the wedding shower this morning (should’ve occurred to me that he would be there since i knew he would be at the wedding) and it’s much more embarrassing to have to answer a former teacher when they ask what’s going on with you and you’ve got nothing going for you so i wish i had been prepared to have to deal with that today and not two months from now but anyway we’re in a mutual follow on instagram so he’s like “all i know about is your daily outfit pictures” and i was just like “that’s all there is!”
#personal#skdfihs i really do hate having to tell ppl i work for my dad in a job i don't even want#obvs i am grateful bc hey free job wish things could just plop into my lap like that bc the job finding process what little i tried with it#was so fucking annoying and impossible and i just do not have the energy for it#like even less so than i did several years ago but also like.....i truly need to and not just bc he's gotta retire eventually ya know#i just wanna do something i feel a little more suited for like there are aspects that work#sometimes certain things like bank reconciliations where when everything was input correctly and it all lines up#it's got the satisfaction that comes with organizing things which i love to do#and i like that at least here unlike the other one i worked for i do not have to interact with ciients#like i just want a job that is quiet and i don't have to deal with customers#and it just feels like those options are few and far between#it would help if at all in the last several years i had thought of something SPECIFIC i would like to do#but everything i think oh that would be nice like it's not realistic#and an office environment doesn't entirely bother me but for example i hate hearing a loud conversation between my coworker and a client#even if i can't hear what's being said for some reason that kind of background noise makes me crazy#bc i'm like i'm just trying to listen to my music and i don't wanna hear anything else#like i feel the same way at home when my mom is on the phone and even if she's down the hall or another floor it can be really loud#and even if i'm not doing anything that requires concentration it just feels like too much to me#so like anyway being that i am now ten years out of high school my brain has more than ever been like girl you gotta do something#but i don't know how to do it and i wouldn't even know what to try even if i DID know how#so i've basically been trapped for years and wanting out but part of it is that it's easier to stay and be miserable#but the other part is that i'm truly like....what would i apply for i don't feel qualified for anything#i don't feel like i have skills and my psych degree doesn't apply to much unless you're gonna get a masters#so. stuck.
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astrologydayz · 2 months
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VENUS IN HOUSES - SYNASTRY💞🔒
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VENUS IN PARTNERS 1ST HOUSE = house person is very attracted 2 the Venus person's looks/style - they find them very beautiful/picture perfect like❤️‍🔥. Venus is typically very much the house persons type, or they quickly end up becoming their type! House person feels amazing with the Venus person by their side, as Venus can make the most mundane things seem beautiful, & fun together! Venus can change the house persons approach 2 the world/their vibe - it can become softer, or more “feminine”<33. Conflicting aspects can show an obsession/fascination with the Venus persons looks - issues with one trying 2 control the other. VENUS IN PARTNERS 2ND HOUSE = Venus creativity, values, beauty, & aesthetic taste all fits with what the house person really values in life✔️💋. House person can become quite possessive over the Venus person! Feeling like Venus is theirs/like they belong 2 em🔒. House person can gift the Venus person many beautiful things, but the Venus person can also help the house person get/achieve a bigger bag!💰Venus can either raise/or lower the 2nd house values, self esteem, possessions/money - look at aspects!
VENUS IN PARTNERS 3RD HOUSE = Venus can find the house persons thought process beautiful💞. The way they write, & speak? Venus is mesmerised. House person feels happy/fulfilled, bc someone is finally appreciating, & loving them 4 the way they communicate/wants 2 be heard😍. House persons siblings/cousins can have a really good relationship with the Venus person - same taste in music/movies/fashion/or they just really adore them in general. Venus can send cute love messages/notes 2 house person throughout the day/days, & house person loves it! conflicting aspects can show arguments, & miscommunications/issues with house person's siblings/cousins.
VENUS PARTNERS 4TH HOUSE = house person can very much be into the idea of creating/starting a family with the Venus person!💘 Or getting/creating their own home together! If/When they live together = Venus could be very into "beautifying" their home a lot✨🤩. Venus person can make the house person love being home doing things together! House persons mom/family can have a really good relationship with the Venus person💜 - which the house person can feel very very fulfilled, & happy about. Conflicting aspects can show disagreements/issues in the home/issues with partner's family/issues bc of two different "visions".
VENUS IN PARTNERS 5TH HOUSE = house person can feel very much in love with dating the Venus person/house person absolutely adore the dates they go on!🫶🏼🥰 House person haves the most absolute fun with the Venus person<33. House person could start thinking about kids at some point, because Venus just embodies exactly what they search for in someone they want kids with!💞 Venus creative loving ways, & taste 4 life is everything 2 the house person. Conflicting aspects can show issues with having 2 much fun - indulging 2 much in certain activities together/issues with kids/sexual issues.
VENUS IN PARTNERS 6TH HOUSE = house person can feel very appreciative of Venus in their day 2 day life - Venus could help house person out a lot, or make things seem a little easier 2 the house person✨😻 - things like cleaning up, doing laundry, doing the cooking, going grocery shopping, taking care of pets, etc. Venus can bring love/a loving vibe 2 the house person throughout their days, & they could also be the one showing up on house persons work 2 bring them a nice lunch, or just something nice!😘 House person loves the little things Venus does for them! Conflicting aspects can show problems/issues in their day 2 day life/problems with living together/issues with the way love is shown/shared on a day 2 day basic.
VENUS IN PARTNERS 7TH HOUSE = house person can see the Venus person as the ideal partner 4 marriage! Venus way of loving/showing love is just what the house person search for in a marriage/stabile partner<33. The way Venus carries themselves throughout their arguments/disagreements is one of the things the house person is absolutely mesmerised by! They know they can count on Venus, if they run into issues - they locked in. Opposites also attract here☯️. Conflicting aspects can show that the Venus person can annoy the house person/them not agreeing on things/house person not being into/liking the Venus person😬.
VENUS IN PARTNERS 8TH HOUSE = can show up as an intense sexual attraction from house person 2 the Venus person💋. House person can share many of their secrets with the Venus person, & be very very trusting of them. Venus give the house person a new kind of intimacy, that they didn't even knew they needed in the 1st place - Venus can heal many of house person's traumas❤️‍🩹. House person can be really into the idea of sharing recourses with the Venus person - Venus fits their "criteria"✔️. Conflicting aspects can show intimacy issues/obsession issues/money issues/"one being sneaky" - not fully transparent.
VENUS IN PARTNERS 9TH HOUSE = house person can love travelling/experiencing other cultures with the Venus person!🌍 Venus can also change the house persons belief system - inspiring them 2 believe in something higher than themselves. Venus can also be really attracted2 the house person’s ethics. House person can look 2 the Venus person for guidance in life - Venus could be their lover yes, but also a kind of mentor here🦋. Conflicting aspects can show religious/cultural issues/issues with in laws/issues with different beliefs.
VENUS IN PARTNERS 10TH HOUSE = trophy wife/husband placement!🏆 House person can feel very proud 2 be with the Venus person - Venus person makes them look good/takes their image 2 the next level!✨ House person can help the Venus person professionally2 - Venus can get opportunities bc of house person/bc of their connections. These two can love being out, & being seen! Conflicting aspects can show problems in public/issues with dragging each other down professionally/2 much focus on social status/reputation - forgetting the love.
VENUS IN PARTNERS 11TH HOUSE = house person can see the Venus person as their best friend!😻 House person loves being out, & being social with the Venus person! People who knows these two = knows how close knit they are🔒. "One don't go without the other". House persons friends - if they don’t share the same friend group, ofc) - can really appreciate, & like the Venus person! These two can share a love for social media, collaborate a lot2! Or share a love for mutual shared causes/hobbies! Conflicting aspects can show issues bc of friends/social media/one not being supportive of the other ones dreams.
VENUS IN PARTNERS 12TH HOUSE = Venus person understands the house person scary quickly. House person can feel very "naked, & exposed here"🫣. Can show a secret affair/or a secret relationship. They don't really have 2 talk a lot about their love 4 each other, they always feel it between them💞. Venus can heal the house persons fears/help them with their nightmares2. House person can feel like they've met the Venus person before - it's like getting Déjà vu. Soulmate? Twin? or Karmic? They got a spiritual bond that no one understands but them. Conflicting aspects can show spiritual issues/issues bc of "things going on behind the scenes"/"playing with/on the other ones insecurities/fears".
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THANKS4READING LOVE! APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS💘 MASTERLIST
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inkyray · 1 month
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a/n: send more requests i love doing them for yall
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3k words
warnings/content ahead: bsf!chris x virgin!reader, smut, oral fem!receiving (eating out yess), suggestive, p in v, fingering, pet names (princess), Fritos, missionary, and more come find out
BANG
Your roommate had just left to see her family for the next week, which meant you had the apartment all to yourself for a full 7 days. You were ecstatic, immediately letting Chris know.
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brobrobro
guess what rn
You type excitedly, your fingers practically shoving a hole through your phone screen. The message immediately goes to seen, and you watch bubbles pop up, indicating he was typing.
You finally came to your senses and decided to move out of that disgracefully small apartment ?
dude no
you know i can't afford that shit
im staying here until i start making the bag i deserve !!!
Right
now guess
You cut all your hair off and went bald
Please tell me you went bald
Actually no
Please tell me you didnt go bald
nah not bald 💔
I GOT THE WHOLE APARTMENT TO MYSELF;!!!! FOR A WEEK!!
Holy fuck
The caps had me go BLIND trying to read
where's the happiness and the cheer
you better start typing back in caps.
YES! 😭 YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE PLACE TO YOURSELF!!
FOR HOW LONG? A WEEK I HEAR? IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOURE AN ADULT!
THAT MUST BE WHY I'M HEARING FOLK MUSIC AND TAP DANCING OUTSIDE! 
god bless ☝️ now come over so we could politely watch a movie
hmmmm Depends
what movie is it
Ya Momma! 😂😅
sounds amazing
I'll be there in a few
-
You close your phone, getting up to quickly clean the place around you.
Chris was no stranger to you, you two had known each other since the day he threw up on you in middle school. He had caught a bug and unfortunately he sat behind you. You didn't really understand how throw up could reach past a desk capacity but it had somehow made it into your hair. Disgusting, horrific week. But he made it up to you.
For him, he moved to LA for work reasons. He was famous, although he didn't like to admit it, nor did it really feel like it for him. You moved because of college, the moment you two graduated out of highschool, it was as if the universe worked hard to get you two closer. And, it worked. You guys were closer now than you were in school.
You would split the rent with your roommate, which was already an expensive bunch, considering this was LA. But Chris would constantly insist on helping you out financially, paying for most of your things when you would practically beg him not to. You had a hard time receiving stuff, but Chris had a problem with giving. You two balanced each other out in that aspect.
You hear a knock on the door, already knowing who it is. It doesn't take you long to reach it. "Why are you holding Fritos?" You ask, huffing a laugh at the weirdly large bag of chips in his hand as he enters your apartment and heads for your bedroom.
"'Cus I wanted Fritos." He answers like it's the most obvious thing in the world, flopping on your bed as you follow him to your room. You notice a few pairs of socks on the floor that you failed to pick up, doing so. "You know, I had to like, Uber here. You know how fucking crazy that is? Ubering to your place? Fucking embarassing." Chris complains, taking off his shoes and cuddling up in your bed.
"Why didn't you just ask Matt?" You wonder, folding your clothes. "Matt didn't want to. I need to get my drivers license, bro. Shit is getting ridiculous." He opens his bag of chips, and your head snaps up. "Chris." You warn as he looks you dead in the eye, a smirk playing on his lips as he slowly raises a chip to his mouth. 
"Chris, I swear to God if you drop a single crumb on my bed."
"I won't." He says, before dropping the chip back in the bag.
"I'm not hungry." He folds the chip bag and places it on your nightstand beside your bed. "You get what I mean though?" He asks, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair. "Like, I cant ask Matt to fucking, I dont know, drive me to a hook-up or something." He huffs, exasperated from the imaginary scenario he created.
You sit beside him, nodding like you agree, grabbing the TV remote and opening up a streaming platform for movies on your TV. "Oh fuck, imagine I like, pull up to a bad bitches house in an Uber. That's so fucking wild." This time you laugh, "Ubering to get your shit sucked is crazy." You say, scrolling through the endless options of what to watch.
"You ever done that? Ubering to a sneaky links house or something?" Chris asks you, sitting up on your bed. You take a second to answer. "Well, I have my drivers license." You don't know why that would qualify as an answer, but you say it anyway. "But you don't have a car." Chris reminds you. "Right." You confirm, looking at your TV, pretending to be really interested in finding something to watch.
"So? Have you?" He questions with a chuckle, not really sure where you were going with that. "Chris, I'm a virgin." You grin at the irony. A second passes and he realizes you were being serious, his jaw drops. "You're joking."
You shake your head, turning to look at him. "But– you're like, a whore." He says, you scoff, "I'm not a whore?"
"Yeah, you are." He shrugs.
"No, I'm not. I literally just told you I'm a virgin." You put the remote down. "That's why I'm shocked, you would tell me about a new boy every week and then forget about them." He says. You pop a shoulder. "I just never felt comfortable enough with them."
"Oh." He mutters. "So you didn't bang?" He draws out.
"So I didn't bang." You confirm.
"You're nuts, you would say the most diabolical shit about them too." He points a finger at you. "I'm most definitely not." You push his finger down. "How old are you again, 19?"
"19 and untouched." You wink, he stares at you for a moment. "What? Can't wrap your head around the fact I've never been creampied?"
You watch Chris close his eyes, wait for a moment, then open them again. "I'd like for you to wrap your head around it."
"What?"
You two burst out laughing.
-
This movie was devastatingly long and the Fritos on the bedside table were completely neglected.
You and Chris were staring at the TV, both of you pretending to be interested in what was going on. Truth was, you both were lost in your own train of thought.
Chris had resorted to an extra pillow over his lap with his mind racing in all different directions. In his defense, he was human. Once you admitted to him that you were a virgin, he could help but think of all the ways that he could strip that away from you. How easy it would be for him to just bend you over and take that purity away from you.
It wasn't the first time he'd thought of you this way, he couldn't help it. You were gorgeous, and he got lucky with the fact that you were interesting. You were probably the only girl he'd met with a soul as beautiful as her face, that's what made you so special to him.
His eyes quickly darted to yours, who were watching the movie with such intent, he saw the screen reflect in your eyes, a new scene playing. The room was dark, the only light being produced was from the illuminated TV, keeping the place a simple shade of dull blue. His sight drags down to your lips. Your full, plump lips.
Chris wonders if you've ever wrapped them around dick before, sucking just as attentively as you were watching that movie. Sliding your tongue across the tip as you slowly pushed the rest in your mouth, your eyebrows arching as you began to stroke the rest of him. Even then, you'd still be considered a virgin.
You turned to look at him, feeling his gaze on you for too long. He didn't bother looking back, holding your stare as you tried putting together what he was thinking of. "Chris?" You asked with the same lips he was just thinking of. "Hm?" He hums, his eyes lazily back on your mouth, studying every word you form. "You okay?"
He nods, you furrow your eyebrows. He was definitely lost in thought. You lower the volume of the movie and he looks back up at you. "Are you celibate?" He asks, out of nowhere. You're taken by surprise, but answer nonetheless. "Not really?"
"Not really." He repeats on his tongue, as if testing the way it would feel on there. "Okay." He says, voice as low as it could get. "You were just never comfortable?" You nod, confirming it. You watch as his eyes slowly brush over every part on your face, eventually resting on your eyes. Through the enlightenment of the TV screen, you watch his dark pupils dilate over his blue eyes. "Would you be comfortable with me?" He finally asks, voice low. You swallow.
He had multiple strands of hair fly messily in multiple directions, some over his forehead. You raise a hand to neat a messy one on his head down, using two fingers to get rid of any potential knots, soothing your hand through it as he bends his head down, letting you. "Yeah." You answer. "I would."
He lifts his head up, his grin soft but undeniable."You wanna test it out?" You felt your heart cage within itself, but as the second passed you realized you wouldn't want to lose it to anyone else. You have been waiting for this moment for a while, a really, really long and dreadful while.You stared at his fidgeting finger before looking back up at him. A simple nod does the trick, and a hand is on the side of your jaw, guiding your mouth to his. You've kissed before, he knew that, but he was still treating you like a delicate flower. His lips pressed against yours and his hand was soft against your skin. You kissed back harder, licking his lips, forcing them open, insinuating for him to let loose.
Both hands go to grab each side of your face this time, kissing you hungrily as he moves himself from beside you to in front of you. Your neck is cranned up as he sits up onto his knees. You raise your hands and slip them under his shirt, feeling his bare skin as they slide down his torso. He pulls away, immediately taking his shirt off.
You looked up at him, his gaze lingering harshly on you as he stared you down. You bit your lip as he slowly grasped the bottom hem of your T-shirt. "Arms up." He orders, and you lift them. He takes the shirt off of you, bunching it up and throwing it to the side of your room. You aren't sure what to do, you hadn't exactly worn a bra under that. You cross your arms over your chest for some sort of coverage, but Chris quickly laces his fingers around your wrist. "It's okay." He tells you, slowly dragging your arms down. "Are you okay?" He asks soft enough to send a shutter down your spine. "I'm okay." You confirm, he leans down to kiss you once more, pulling away just as soon as his lips meet yours, going to take all of you in. Your body felt hot, your chest feeling as if it was steaming the way he memorized each of your curves. He looked up at you, making direct eye contact as he began to take one tit in his mouth as the other was being caressed by his hand. You throw your head back, surprising yourself with a moan as he begins to give you open-mouthed kisses, his tongue grazing over your nipple, validating its hardness.
His mouth begins to trail back up to your collarbone, leaving desperate kisses until he's reached your neck as his empty hand trailed down the side of your hips, his thumbs curling onto the elastic of your pants, pulling them down as he bit down a hickey. You gripped onto his hair, pulling onto the section that fell above the back of his neck as he distracted your mouth with tongue-filled kisses, but you were extremely aware of the hand that had slipped into your panties, two fingers suddenly pressing against you. You whimper.
"Everything okay, princess?" He breathily asks, watching your face scrunch up as he begins to rub your cunt. "So wet for me, how long have you been dreaming of this?" He tries to catch your eyes but they're sewed shut, the soft noises coming from your mouth giving him all the answers you need. His soft and lengthy fingers suddenly pump into you, and you gasp. "Chris." You utter, feeling him pump in and out of you as his thumb grazes harshly onto your clit. You flinch. "Chris." You moan louder.
"That's right, say my name." He says as he pumps you faster, his other hand grabbing the secure of your jaw. He wanted to feel your mouth back on his, he wanted to feel your moans and whines on his mouth. The clench in your stomach reaches an all time high and your hips buckle. Your stomach loosens and you feel your loud moans muffle harder by Chris's refusal to leave your lips, you feel him smirk under the kiss as you cum all over his fingers. "Feel good?" He questions, your nodding is instant and he laughs at the quickness of your answer. Your hand follows his hair as he begins to lower himself, kissing your stomach, thighs, and then your pussy. His tongue trails down your slit, his mouth collecting what had just been your orgasm. Your thighs immediately close around him, your legs going over his shoulders and crossing at your ankles. It was safe to say you've never been eaten out. Until now. And it was heavenly.
Your hands push down on his head, feeling his nose press against you and a huff of laughter giving your pussy a breathy gust of air. "So needy." He hums, licking your folds.
Embarrassingly enough, you reached your second orgasm, pulling hard onto his hair. He looked up at you, smiling with his teeth as white liquid drooped down them and off his chin. He fixes his posture, sitting up but still between your legs.
Catching your breath, you glare at him. "Still a virgin though." He sings the last word happily, memorizing the image in front of him as his hands massaged your thighs.
"You gonna change that or what?" You finally muster up a few real words, challenging him. He raises an eyebrow, "Oh?"
"Take your pants off for me? Let me feel you, Chris." You tell him, sounding awfully like a whiney, desperate order. The smirk is still playing on his lips, looking at you through his messy hair. "And to think you'd had enough."
"You promised me something, remember?" You palm his dick through his sweatpants, feeling him rock hard against your hand. Instinctively, he pushes his hips into your hand, and you squeeze his large size, whimpers sneak from his mouth. "It's obvious you hadn't had enough, though."
Chris wastes no time shoving his pants off taking it right down with his boxers. His dick springs up and you need a moment to register. Okay, woah.
"Finally fuck me?" You wonder. His grip on your hips were tight, as if he was keeping himself from suddenly ramming himself into you, keeping in mind you were trusting him with your virginity. "Finally." He confirms, the idea of fucking you in his mind since the moment he was able to form a thought like that.
He slowly enters himself in you, and your hand clasps around your mouth, trying to keep yourself from screaming at the sudden stretch. He clicks his tongue, letting out a series of curse words. "Fuck, you are so tight." You answer him by pushing yourself onto his cock as he holds you down. You clench yourself around him and he audibly moans, slowly rocking his hips back and forth. Each thrust was long, slow, and wet, you soaked up each movement desperately.
With his hand still holding onto you, he drops his head to look at the sin you two were participating in, guiding your hips in and out of him. Each pull rhythmic as he pushed himself deeper into you as you clench, trying to get used to the feeling. Your whimpers got louder as he went faster, hypnotized by the scene in front of him. He wanted to keep this memory locked in his head forever, how beautiful you looked sprawled against your bed, moaning his name as he thrusted in and out of you, taking away your virginity.
For a moment it all seemed too good to be real, and he went faster, wanting to see just how the narrative in front of him would go. The thrusts harsher and quicker, you gripped the sheets hard and your moans grew louder. "Taking me so well, princess." He hit your G-spot three times too fast, and you practically blasted him with cum. You tried warning him, but he seemed lost in his own mind. As if on cue, he pulled out the moment you came all over his dick. "Fuck." He followed that up with your name, finishing as his orgasm splattered on your stomach and chest, where he'd specifically aim it there.
He flops down on the empty spot beside you, both you guys attempting to catch your breath. A few seconds of shocked but comfortable silence pass.
He turns his head to look at you. "Good or nah? Wanna try again?"
"What, like, take my virginity again?"
"Yeah."
"How about we try a nice shot at my first ever aftercare, yeah? Then I'll consider it."
"Right, of course."
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harmoonix · 2 months
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Mars and the sports in the birth chart:
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💥 We all know Mars is a planet who needs a lot of movement/motion/action/stimulation and of course competition, and in a birth chart Mars can indicate a passion for that, here are some examples 💥
Mars aspecting the North Node can indicate being involved with sports in your life, maybe you wanna make a living out of a sport you like, for ex, swimming or football/soccer etc
Mars aspecting the Midheaven can indicate a career involved with sports, making a sport your job/career
Mars in the 1st/6th/10th and 11th/12th house need a lot of movement in their lives try waking up with a running outside if is comfortable for you, maybe with yoga or meditation
Mars in the 1H / 2H /5H and 10H can have athletic bodies which can be a boost/bonus when they're practicing a sport
Mars in the 4H can indicate a person from your family can be involved with sports/a sport- passionate person! They may get you into sports aswell
Mars in the 9H/12H is really good if they practice something between mediation - yoga and sport in the same time because it can help them a lot
Mars aspecting Chiron can help you to get out of your fears by using a sport/gym/personal motivation
Mars in the 3rd house can be very attracted into being motivational to others or to themselves, and here we bring the podcasts (take care *healthy podcasts* not toxic ones) or that one person who watches yoga from their tv at home
Mars in the 3rd house can aslo develop a passion for bikes or motorcycles so if that helps you and your body do it!!!
Mars in the 11H can be into a sport where involves communication and friendship (team work) such as team sports like football/basketball/volley and more..
Mars in the 6H needs lot of mental stimulation in order to enjoy/start their day maybe try a little bit of body movement after waking up like waking up your muscles and you can feel a lottt better
Mars in the 8H can be actually invest a lot in sports, either be watching sports from home either practicing a sport themselves, sports can also bring them money or wealth
Mars aspecting Uranus are known for being talented already, dancing/body movement/gymnastics/ballet is a good key for them
Mars aspecting Sun can easily have a passion for everything they get into, whatever it is they'll enjoy it
Mars aspecting Neptune on the other hand can be good at teaching others, especially in sports like gymnastics/yoga they're good mentors
Mars aspecting Moon needs an emotional boost before starting their day try to listen to music and practice body movement in the same time it can help
Mars aspecting Saturn can either have sensbile bones or really strong bones it really depends here, a good massage can help them with their body movement a lottt
Mars aspecting Venus can have a healthy routine/ a healthy relationship with their body so there just try to make whatever your body feels the best/most comfortable with
Mars aspecting Mercury can be good at encouraging which may help in not losing hope/getting better and better everyday
Mars RETROGRADE in your natal chart can indicate a sport can help you much better, can improve your life and your mental Health
Mars aspecting the South Node at first can be a bit shy/confused if they are into sports or not but if they're truly passionate about it they can get attached to that
Mars sitting empty in a chart/little or no aspects to Mars can indicate not really a passion to sports but you still wanna do something to improve your life and your body
Mars aspecting the Ascendant natives already have that very athletic energy, they're that type of person who can be good at any sport if they have the ambition for it
Mars in the 7H can be good at improving their love lives with using sport as a tool. Maybe you and your partner share both a passion for sports (which btw is a really cute thing to have), that type of couple who goes running every morning
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astrochaosmind · 4 months
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Astro obvs✨
people with scorpio in 5H usually could have strained or half way relationships even very turbulent
Venus-Neptune people can be very idealistic and have high , ideal standards in love or unhealthy ones
Water ruled 5H or Venus-moon people could like sad/low energy songs
Scorpio risings have a very this very serious , devoted approach about them
Most Aries risings imo have that “oh really😳” type of look
Cancer risings can have very soft , sensitive skin
Libra moons need alone time when dealing with emotions or they’ll talk them out
Venus-Pluto people depending the aspect can have toxic , unhealthy tendencies or obsessions when it comes to relationships or overall crushes even
Leo and Virgo energy makes some really conscious , laid back but also creative people and these people like observing first
Virgo Venus values sharing/receiving and giving maybe in a relationship if they’re really interested in you lol
Mars/Fire ruled 6H people may do a lot of moving around and exercise before starting a tasks/chore
Aquarius moon people may feel like no one will understand their point of view or how they feel so they just keep quiet
Virgo moons may expect you to know how their feeling instead of just them telling you
Cardinal signs forgive and forget
12H mercury can be prone to lying or manipulation because they know how people and their subconscious works also have an understanding of the mind and how if works
Water 6h people LOVE pets and may think of them as their child🫶
Sagittarius Venus people can contemplate on hours if they’re actually able or ready to being a full time relationship
Virgo MC people can do careers that involve helping others or relating to others (podcasts , daily journaling, music etc.)
Saturn-moon may have grown up fast or had to deal with adult situations/emotions or take on responsibilities from such a young age🫂
Pisces 2H people may spend a lot of their money on vinyls , metaphysical things , artwork or even alot of jewelry that means something to them
Aquarius risings can come off as “aloof” or awkward maybe even a bit “mean”
Libra 10H can be very good at attracting attention because of their beautiful/handsome and appealing personality, features or even their work
Cancer 5H may have started a certain hobby when they where young or in their hometown and they still use that as value
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hannieehaee · 6 months
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NO SONG WITHOUT YOU
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18+ / mdi
summary: with zero experience or interest in the romantic aspect of his life, jihoon finds himself in an unexpected situation when his company decides on a collab between the two of you, not expecting the work-addicted producer to develop a bit of a crush on you.
content: idol!jihoon x idol!reader, afab reader, pining, jihoon's emotionally constipated, jihoon's pov, kinda inexperienced jihoon, smut, dry humping, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 12.6k
a/n: this is probably my fave fic i've written so far!! love writing for jihoon aaaa anyways i hope u guys enjoy <3
masterlist
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Jihoon was tired.
Beyond tired, actually. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left his studio at a reasonable time. He knew people on twitter made jokes about him being a bit of a hermit, with fans being able to spot his studio from outside the building, lights always on and indicating the producer was still inside.
He didn't have much of a valid excuse for this, other than being a 'workaholic', or at least that's the term Joshua had recently introduced him to, describing him as the prime example. Jihoon just couldn't help himself. He'd been like this ever since he could remember. If he had an idea, he had to work on it. And unfortunately for him, he was always full of new ideas. If Seventeen was releasing an album, that meant Jihoon already had enough material to fill up the next three albums backed up in a file somewhere in his computer.
Despite always having music prepared months in advance, - even having solo music up for grabs for whichever member desired it - he still found himself constantly working. It's not like anyone demanded this out of him either. It was quite the opposite, actually. From staff, to other producers, to members and even family, everyone always insisted that he took a break, maybe leave producing aside for a month or two. This was inconceivable to him, it was something that was simply out of his comfort zone.
The truth was, Jihoon felt lost. Any time he strayed away from work in some way or other, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like a failure in many other aspects of his life. Granted, he was a successful idol and producer, talented in every area necessary in his field, but past that, what did he really have to offer? He'd been stuck in a rut for a few years now. He had his members, his family, maybe some staff, but his social life didn't go much past that. He didn't have many hobbies outside of work either. Sure, he was avid when exercising, even being an overachiever in that area, but that was also kind of part of his job. He knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone at some point and live his life, but he kept making excuses for himself. He was 26 now, and was, quite frankly, beginning to lose hope in certain areas of his life due to his career, - although blaming his career was just an excuse, really - the romantic aspect of his life being one of them.
Jihoon had some experience, okay? It wasn't like he'd never liked a girl before. He'd had a few crushes in elementary, maybe even some up until high school. He'd kissed one of the female trainees back when Pledis was a smaller company (okay, it might've been on a dare, but to Jihoon it counted). A few years after debuting he'd even gone on a few dates with a former staff member from his company. He'd lost his virginity to that same girl, kind of rushing into it due to feeling pressured to just get it over with - something he didn't exactly regret, but wished had been more of a memorable moment. The point was, Jihoon had had a few romantic experiences in his past 26 years on this earth. But, he hadn't ever even gotten close to find that one great love he'd hoped he one day would. For someone who received constant accolades for his lyricism, he was never really able to relate to his own music. He'd never been heartbroken, never had an insane need for someone, never felt romantic love, never been in the throes of passion with a beautiful girl, even. It was all his imagination. His lyrics, that is. And maybe the rest, if he was being honest. He'd dreamt about it lately; the perfect girl who he'd find and sweep off her feet. But that was all it was, a dream.
So, Jihoon was tired. Tired of hauling himself up in his studio to make himself feel something. But that was where he now found himself; stuck and in a rut, hoping for something more.
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He was once again in his studio, working on god knows what at this point. He had just finished a quick welive with carats, feeling like he'd accomplished his quota of socialization for the day (I mean, even if it was a one-way conversation, it still counted, right?) and decided to get to work on one of the many unfinished drafts in his hard drive. This was kind of routine by now. He would either get a quick meal with one of the members during their break from rehearsals, or would go back to his studio for a bit to work on music. This would've been fine and dandy if it wasn't for the fact that Jihoon would eventually have ended up right back at his stuido either way. It was the illusion of choice, truly.
He spent a few hours in there, messing around with his guitar and even working on some guides for the members to follow next time they had some time to stop by the Universe Factory. Today felt like a productive day for Jihoon. Granted, he did this literally every single day, but he hadn't felt stuck at any point today. Maybe he was on a lucky streak. He decided to cut the day short there, not wanting to ruin what had been arguably an uninterrupted day of working on music. However, his separation from his studio did not last long, as he received a call from his manager just as he was locking the door behind him. He picked up without much thought.
"What's up?"
"Hey? Jihoon-ah, are you still in the studio by any chance?", Jihoon almost vocalized his amusement at the question. Where else would he be?
"I was just locking up, but yeah, I'm here."
"Good! Stay right there! Gonna head up to talk to you for a bit," and with that he hung up, not leaving Jihoon any chance to respond.
Jihoon and his manager were quite close. This was the case with most idols and their managers, having to spend so much time together. Still, Jihoon found the interaction to be a bit odd. Usually his manager would be one of the many people to insist that Jihoon get his ass out of his studio every once in a while. He didn't mind his request, though, so he quickly reopened the door and sat himself back down on his chair, deciding to mess with a few things as he waited for his manager's arrival.
It took his manager about ten minutes to arrive, Hybe was quite a big building, after all. He knocked on his door, not knowing the access code to Jihoon's studio. The only people who knew his key code were Jihoon himself, and Soonyoung (who had learned it without Jihoon's knowledge, but he was too lazy to change it by now). He got up to open the door, simply expecting another one of his manager's short overviews of Jihoon's schedule for the week, which might've been correct, except that when he opened the door he was met with his manager accompanied by an unfamiliar face.
It was you. Jihoon didn't know exactly who you were, but you carried a familiar air to you. He hadn't really been interacting with many people as of late, so maybe you were just someone he'd seen in passing, he wasn't too sure. You and his manager walked in upon Jihoon's gesture to please come in, moving aside as to not be in your way. He closed the door behind you, accidentally closing the distance between the two of you for a second and becoming a bit flustered at the proximity. He wasn't sure why his manager would bring someone unknown into his studio, but if Jihoon was anything, he was a relaxed guy (or at least he tried to seem like it), so he just sat back down without making any questions, his manager would probably fill him in any moment now anyways.
"Okay, so this is Y/N! You've probably met before, right?"
Uh, not right. And now a little awkward. Was he supposed to lie?
"Oh! No, we haven't, actually. I know a few of his members, though, but this is our first time officially meeting," you spoke up for the first time. So you were friends with his members? That might be how he knew you. That didn't really narrow it down much, though. There were 12 of them, and Seungkwan alone was friends with practically the entire industry.
"Oh? My bad. Well, then I should introduce you, right? Jihoon, this is Y/N! Her group was just recently acquired by Hybe. They moved into the building just over a month ago, if I'm not mistaken," He turned to you as you nodded in affirmation before proceeding, "Y/N, this is Jihoon, producer and partial leader of Seventeen."
He wasn't too sure why he was introducing the two of you. If he got personally introduced to every group Hybe acquired in the past year, he'd probably be here all day. He'd stopped keeping track of who and which groups were now roaming the hallways, being too many for him to count. He wasn't complaining or anything, he was just confused as to why go out of his way.
"Woozi-nim. It's so nice to meet you! I've always been such a huge fan. Your work is .. it's insane. I've looked forward to meeting you for so long," the enthusiasm with which you said this made his lip quirk up a little. Sure, he received accolades on his work every day, but knowing that fellow juniors of his looked up to him always brought a smile to his face, although it still made him a little sheepish at receiving such a forward compliment.
"Oh, I- Thank you. And you can call me Jihoon. It's nice to meet you, too," he smiled shyly at you, not really knowing what to say past that. He felt a bit shy looking at you for some reason, as if he couldn't hold eye contact for too long or he'd burn.
He looked expectantly over at his manager, the instigator of this interaction.
"Oh! Right. Well, as I just said, Y/N's group just moved into the company. And the company's been pushing for some collaborations as of late, you know, in order to maximize all groups within Hybe all at once," Jihoon could kind of see where his manager was going with this, "So, I've brought Y/N along with me since you two will be working together for a feature."
Hold on. Rewind.
"Us? As in just us two?"
"Yeah. Hybe is dividing you guys into subdivisions. Mingyu will be collaborating with someone in BTS a few months from now, and Chan will be with Yeonjun from TXT. I think Seokmin is scheduled with a member of Lesserafim. Not too sure yet, but you're up first. I sent you an email about it a few days ago with the general idea. Did you not get it?"
Oh, right. Jihoon was always quite diligent about his work, but his work mostly entailed Seventeen only. Checking his email wasn't much of a habit of his when he could just call up the few producers that worked for Seventeen whenever he needed to. Collaborations and producer work for other people were not that common to him, so for the most part he would disregard anything that didn't entail his own group.
"Oh, I, uh. No, sorry," he felt slightly bad at having disregarded the person standing in front of him, specially when you had regarded him such such respect. He was giving off a terrible first impression.
"That's fine. Now you know. Well, just wanted to take advantage that you were here today - Hah, well, when aren't you here?", chuckled his manager before continuing, "Just wanted to introduce you just in case. Check the email I sent you when you can, I'll send you over more details of your schedule related to the feature first thing tomorrow, yeah? Y/N here is the main producer for her group too, so you'll be co-producing."
You produced? He didn't mean to sound like an asshole, but there were just so many groups who didn't make their own music. He could sometimes get a bit of an ego over knowing he was an anomaly in his industry, always having taken pivotal part in a good 90% of his group's discography. Still, he wasn't too happy about the concept of having to share the creative process with a producer he had never heard of, if he was quite honest. For the most part he would only work with Bumzu and a few other Hybe producers here and there. He didn't even know your group or the music you were credited for. Hell, he had only found out about this project two minutes ago, having had no voice in the matter. One of the down sides of joining such a huge company that fathered way too many groups at once, he guessed.
He decided to not show his slight discomfort towards the idea, simply offering a polite response before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you. You had stayed behind for a few extra seconds after his manager exited the room, once more voicing your admiration for Jihoon and letting him know you were looking forward to working together. Jihoon had to admit that your praise did something to him. He didn't mean to sound like a total loser when he said this, but he did not interact with girls too much. So receiving such direct praise on his music from a pretty girl who also happened to share a passion with him had his ears turning red. He quickly shook his head at the thought, deciding to just stay at the studio overnight once more and maybe finally go over the email his manager had sent him.
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He had to admit, he was quite impressed. Shortly after your arrival he had decided to research you and your group. You were quite well known by then, having debuted the same year as Seventeen and now being one of the top girl groups in the game. Just like Jihoon, you were from a small company and had climbed your way up, eventually being acquired by Hybe just a few months prior. Your stories were quite similar, if he really thought about it. You had also taught yourself how to produce before debuting, taking on the official role of main producer upon making your debut.
He had found out an embarrassing amount of information about you very quickly. He couldn't help himself. He was immediately intrigued by you, even going as far as looking at online forums about you; places that would detail information about you that only a true fanatic would know. He was now privy to trivial information such as your birth year (one year after his), your favorite color (pink), how many moles you had (seven, total), when you joined your company (exactly two months before he joined pledis), your most popular fancam (the one were you wore that pretty purple top), and just general information he'd be embarrassed to relay he now had memorized. He could call himself a bit ... infatuated. He felt beyond creepy, despite all this being public information. He had just met you, why had he just spent the past three hours binging content about you?
Jihoon decided to shrug these thoughts away, instead opting to mentally prepare himself for tomorrow morning, which was apparently the first day in which you'd be meeting to talk over your future schedules together for the next month or so. He had finally checked the multiple emails his manager had sent him about the collaboration, realizing that he'd now have to spend most of his non-Seventeen allocated time with you.
From photoshoots for promo, to the actual producing of the song, the empty slots in his schedules seemed to have filled up on their own, now being occupied by your company, and much to his surprise, he was not annoyed at this sudden intrusion. He felt a weird feeling in his stomach, but it wasn't like the usual nerves he felt before going on an important stage, nor the grumbling he felt whenever he met an idol of his. He felt ... giddy? He was looking forward to it. He felt nervous to see you again, which was really strange considering that he felt completely normal upon meeting you just now. Yeah, you were very pretty (he had eyes, this was just a fact he couldn't deny), but he hadn't had much of a reaction to it. However, now, as he looked at pictures of you on his computer, he couldn't imagine holding eye contact again. He was going mad.
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Tomorrow arrived sooner than he thought. Now he was now sitting in his studio, awaiting your arrival. He had impulsively tidied up the place, now embarrassed that you'd seen it a mess the day prior. He also tidied himself up. As he recalled, you were wearing a pretty dress yesterday, so he felt bad you'd caught him in sweats and a three-day-old shirt. He wasn't sure why he wanted to impress you, but he did. Jihoon had the hope of at least befriending you, now having formed some type of interest towards you.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, making his heart accelerate at the thought of who was on the other side of it. Upon unlocking it, he found you on the other side, smile on your face as you carried in some bowls of .. his favorite meal? into his studio.
"Hi, Woozi-nim! I brought you food, is that's okay? I asked Seungkwan what you liked," oh, so it was Kwannie you were friends with. That made sense. It was touching that you'd gone out of your way to get him something you knew he'd like. Now he felt bad at being empty handed in his own studio.
"Oh, I- Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
"It's no problem! Wanted to thank you for doing this. I know you don't do collaborations that often. Felt kinda bad about imposing," by now the two of you had sat down in front of his desk, chairs slightly too close for comfort as you unwrapped the food in the bags you'd brought in.
"You-you're not. Sorry if I made it seem that way yesterday, hah, I was just caught off guard."
Jesus Christ, he felt so awkward. Your close proximity had him at a loss. He didn't know where to look or what to say. Your perfume was also not helping matters. The pretty scent had him extremely distracted, his mind suddenly being flooded with the thought that, shit, everything about you was pretty. What was wrong with him? Was this his first time interacting with a woman? He had never felt more out of place, except that despite any improper feelings he felt, he still wanted to be in your vicinity.
"-Woozi-nim?"
Shit, had you been talking this whole time?
"Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
You chuckled at him, clearly not taking offense to his distracted nature, "I was just asking if you had any drafts you wanted to use as a baseline? Or we could use one of my unused drafts? It's whatever you prefer, really. I'd love to work with something of yours, though. I love your style, it's so ... hah, I don't know. It's just so you."
Jihoon thanked god he had not cut his hair as some carats had begged, because now the length allowed him to cover the red of his ears. A single compliment from you had him heating up, clammy hands getting even clammier at the thought of you using his talent as a compliment. If you wanted to use his music, there was just no way for him to deny you. He wanted to hear more of your praise to him.
"Y-yeah? I have uh, a few that I could show you. They're just drafts, but you know."
You visibly perked up at this, scooting even closer to him as he began to fiddle with his computer, opening up some files to show you. Your excitement at his work had him swooning internally. The amount of interest you'd been showing since meeting yesterday was already getting the better of him.
"Woozi-nim, holy shit. These are hundreds of files. Are these all unfinished?"
"Uh, yeah. I uh, tend to have a few drafts saved for future projects."
"I get that. Me too, but these have to be over 300 unfinished songs," you were in clear shock (perhaps admiration?) of the endless tracks in front of you. Jihoon wasn't sure if he should feel ashamed at having so much unfinished work (which made bit feel like a bit of a loser), or be proud since you seemed to be impressed at the vast number.
"I like to be prepared. You know, just in case."
"It's .. wow. I knew you were good, but this is insane, Woozi-nim."
"I, you can call me Jihoon," he didn't really care much for the distinction between Woozi and Jihoon at this point; he was pretty used to both. But a part of him just wanted to hear you call him by his real name; the one only those close to him really used. He also wanted an out from the conversation, feeling too flustered at your compliments.
You chuckled, nodding at him, "Okay, Jihoon. Sorry, didn't really know what name to go for at first."
"No, it-it's fine. I'm only a year older. You can speak comfortably."
The rest of the conversation was filled with technicalities about the collaboration. Now that you two had established a, let's say, closer acquaintance, you were able to discuss your ideas more comfortably. Jihoon still had to put up with the endless compliments about his work as you two went through possible tracks for the song, but he tried his best to take them like a champ, simply chuckling shyly and shrugging them off. Your genuine admiration for his skill had him reeling inside, enamored with the tone of your voice any time you'd express excitement at hearing exclusive Universe Factory content. He hadn't felt butterflies in his stomach like this in, well, ever. He felt like he was a high school student with a silly crush.
The disappointment in his face as you parted ways must've been clear (which made him embarrassed beyond belief), as you pulled out your phone and asked him to put his contact in, letting him know you'd be seeing him soon. The possession of your contact info made him excited. He knew it was probably just for work purposes, but he held a stupid hope in the back of his head that you'd given it to him because you had interest in meeting again soon.
And you did see each other soon, consistently meeting in order to work on the song. A few of the times you were joined by Bumzu (who was also helping out with the song), or Soonyoung (who was just a nosy bastard who wouldn't leave Jihoon's studio), which made him curse out his two friends, wanting you all to himself. His crush had developed quickly after that second meeting. You were now all he thought about. Every morning when he got ready to start his day, he wondered which shirt you'd like him best in. Would you like if he trimmed his hair or did you like it long? What did you like in guys? (Except had already gone on incognito mode on his phone to search your ideal type, growing instantly embarrassed and exiting out of the tab). He thought of you as he exercised, wondering if you'd like his muscles and physique. His entire existence was surrounded by thoughts of you. And he hoped maybe he was also in your mind.
The first time he saw you outside his studio walls was at the Hybe gym as he worked out with Mingyu, Soonyoung and Joshua. He almost lost hold on the dumbbells in his hands upon spotting you, tight leggings and cropped shirt adorning your body. He had seen you in less clothing before (Only ever through a screen, in all the pretty concept photos your group had done, or in the occasional fancam he'd come across), but seeing your silhouette in the flesh had all thoughts leaving his mind. He felt ashamed at his way of thinking. He didn't want to objectify you like that, but the thoughts of your beauty had not left his mind for two weeks now, since the day he first met you.
But his eyes couldn't be helped, glued to your form as you walked into the place, paying extra attention to the parts that stood out most for him. He was like a depraved monster, his breath getting ragged as he watched you move around, licking his lips and sighing at every small movement you made. God, what was happening to him? Why was he so immediately aroused? Luckily, his thoughts were quickly interrupted by a cough from a very annoying Kim Mingyu, who had just been spotting him before his abrupt stop.
"Hyung .. You're too obvious."
"Wha-what are you talking about?", he did not like the smirk attached to Mingyu's face, nor the matching mocking smile in Soonyoung and Joshua's.
"You should see him when she's sitting in his studio. It's sad to watch," snickered the fellow 96-liner.
"Oh? She's the girl? Damn, hyung. She's really pretty."
"It's not- there's no girl. We're just working together," his feelings were already complicated enough, he didn't need the involvement of his members' teasing.
"C'mon, Hyung! It's okay if you like her. She's pretty, she's an idol-producer. She's perfect for you. I think you should go for it," encouraged Mingyu, in his optimistic Mingyu-fashion.
"Yeah, I mean. You were just about to cum in your pants at just seeing her in some leggings. I don't think you have anything to lose if you're already at the point of public indecency."
Yeah, this was exactly why he wanted to keep them as far away as possible.
"Soonyoung, I swear to g-"
"Jihoon? Oh my god, hi! I didn't realize you were here," it was you, now at a closer proximity and a slight sheen of sweat attached to your skin. Had Jihoon not been snapped out of his trance earlier, he probably would've been salivating by now.
"Oh. Hi Y/N. How are you?", he felt like he was being scrutinized for his every word and move by his members, which made him feel extremely awkward (more than usual).
"Good! I didn't know you used the company gym. I'd never seen you here before. You should've told me. We could've come together," you smiled before turning to his friends, "Hi! I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you!"
Soonyoung made a show of stretching his hand out to you, bowing way too low for such a casual setting (probably just to peeve Jihoon). He was followed by Joshua, who held onto your hand in a way that had Jihoon fuming to himself.
"Hello, Y/N. I think we might've met before. You're Kwannie's friend, right?"
"Oh, right! Yeah, I've been to your guys' practice room before, but Jihoon didn't recognize me when we first met, so I wanted to re-introduce myself just in case," you giggled in Jihoon's direction.
"Don't mind him. That's just Jihoon. He's too distracted for his own good. I'm Kim Mingyu, by the way," the youngest shot you a flirtatious smile.
He needed all of them to keep the flirting as toned down as humanly possible. Although jealousy was not an emotion he felt often, the thought of his best friends even looking at you had his ears turning red in anger. But in very expected fashion, they all continued to take turns flirting with you for the next twenty minutes, completely shrugging off any intention of working out they might've had before having spotted you. Luckily (and surprisingly) for him, you were not reciprocating the flirting, nor where your eyes ever off of Jihoon for too long, always including him in your responses to his members one way or another.
You were somehow immune to the charms of Kwon Soonyoung, which, yeah, Jihoon didn't blame you for. You were also unaffected by Jisoo, which was a little more rare from Jihoon's experience. What shocked him most, though, was that your eyes still stayed on him even while one Kim Mingyu blatantly flirted with you. He'd known one too many girls who had fallen victim to his flirting (whether it be intentional or not), and to see you fully shrug him off in favor of looking to Jihoon instead had his heart going at an inhuman speed.
The interaction ended not too much time later, leaving Jihoon's ears red, but now from embarrassment at his friends slyly suggesting his interest at you multiple times throughout the conversation. Despite them being subtle about it, he was still mortified, specially when by the end of it, they'd pushed him to walk you back to your practice room while they wandered off on their own.
"I'm so sorry about them. They can be a bit much."
"It's fine, Jihoon. Don't worry about it. They were really fun. I can see how you're all so close."
"Ah, yeah. You know how it is .. Uh, sorry they kept hitting on you like that,"
he knew he was a bit of an idiot for bringing it up, but he wanted to gauge your feelings on it. He needed to know if he at least held a chance against his members or if you'd just been being nice by not reciprocating in front of him.
You chuckled as you responded, "I know they weren't being serious about it, Jihoon. Don't sweat it. It's not them I'm interested in anyways."
Oh, great. That was good to hear .. Wait. What?
"W-What?l"
"Oh. We're here. This is my group's practice room. Sorry I made you walk all the way here, I know your practice room is like five floors up," you apologized sheepishly, completely disregarding what you'd just said.
"I-it's fine. I'll see you on Thursday, then?"
"Thursday? We have a shoot tomorrow, Jihoon. Remember? We need a jacket shoot for the collab. It was on the schedule."
Oh, fuck. He had completely blanked on that. You guys were almost done recording the finishing touches to the song, but he forgot you guys also needed to do the shoot for the promo and learn the choreo as soon as you gave the choreographers the finalized version for the single. There was still so much to be done, which only meant even more time spent with you.
"Yeah, right. Sorry, hah, completely spaced out on that. I'll see you tomo-"
"Come pick me up?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, stop by my practice room so we can walk together? Is that okay?"
Did you- did you want to spend even more time with him? He wasn't complaining. He wanted all his time to be consumed by you, but .. was the feeling mutual?
"Yes," he paused, realizing his answer had been too short and mechanical, "I mean, yeah, sure, I don't mind. I'll see you here tomorrow morning."
You giggled at him before bidding your goodbye once more, but this time offering him a quick side hug before disappearing through the door to your practice room. Jihoon was glad you were gone, because this time it wasn't just his ears that were red, but his whole face had begun to resemble a tomato.
It was time to admit to himself that he was down bad tremendously for you.
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Jihoon had not at any moment stopped to wonder what type of vibe the collaboration was meant to follow. Yeah, he was working on the song (which was almost finalized by now), so he knew it was pretty much a pop-rock-ish vibe that they were going for, but he didn't know what the rest of the equation would look like, which was something he wished he'd prepared a bit better for.
He had walked you over this morning, even being enticed by Seungkwan into bringing you your favorite drink as a nice gesture (which worked perfectly, as it won him over yet another side hug). The two of you arrived to the designated area for photoshoots located in one of the lower floors of the Hybe building, then went your separate ways to head over to hair and makeup in order to get your outfits situated. He had to admit he liked his outfit. It was a little more provocative than usual, with it being mostly black leather and the top being unbuttoned enough to show off most of his abdomen. It was your outfit, however, that had him reeling.
Nothing could have prepared him for the moment he stepped out and spotted you doing a few solo shots in preparation, your outfit and makeup already perfectly in place. He had no words to express how he felt upon seeing you. You looked so ... gorgeous. Unsure of how to react at the sight in front of him, he stood there staring, almost as if he'd seen an apparition. It wasn't until one of the photographers called him over that he managed to regain sense of self and join you.
The entirety of the photoshoot was absolute hell for Jihoon. This was the closest he'd ever been to you (sans the now two quick side hugs you'd given him in the past day). The shoot was a bit .. sensual in nature. The first set of outfits were edgier, so the shoot was the basic scenario you'd picture for a punk-rock pictorial. The second set of outfits had been the issue, because they went in the complete opposite direction. You were in a beaten down motel room setting, wearing very simple outfits, although they were both very skimpy and thin, almost as if to signify the simplicity of the concept. You two posed together on the bed, with your poses getting more and more intimate by the minute. At some point he had been directed to embrace you as he looked into your lips, with the proximity being way too close for comfort (or at least that's what he tried to tell himself). At another point he was kneeling on the bed as he looked up at you, your eyes simulating lust as you looked down on him, hand on his chin, lifting his gaze to yours.
The shoot had been an experience, to say the least. Jihoon wasn't sure how he survived it without breaking. He thanked the gods for the years of preparation with all types of shoots he'd done with the members over the years. However, completion of the shoot did not mean he was unaffected. He had no idea how he'd get the image of your lips so close to his out of his mind. Despite knowing it'd all been professional and strictly fake, he could've sworn he felt something every time your eyes would meet when at such a close distance. He wanted it to be real so badly, but once again he chalked it up to being wishful thinking. At least the worst of it was over, and he could now get back to sitting next to you in his studio at a respectable distance.
~
Jihoon had been an idiot to ever believe that the shoot had been the worst of it.
It had now been a week since the dreaded photoshoot (The one that had him up at night imagining what it would've been like if he had just closed the gap between your lips, damning anyone else in the room), and now it had been a few days since the song had finally been completed. He had thoroughly enjoyed co-producing with you, geeking at your ability to compliment each other perfectly. Your voice was yet another thing he had fallen in love with during the process, fully enamored by every single take you did. It had actually slowed down the process, as Jihoon green-lit every single one of your takes due to the rose-colored glasses that prevented him from catching mistakes you swore you'd committed during a few of the takes. You seemed to be similar, however, as you continued to shower him in compliments (even at the shoot, where you had complimented him with his hard work at the gym - a moment he chose to disregard or else he would've lost his mind at the implications), refusing to admit any faults of his while recording.
Now, however, he found himself in very difficult and unchartered waters. Any other time in which he'd produced a song, he'd never been involved further than that. He'd done duo shoots before, with women at that, but what he'd never done was share a choreography with someone who wasn't a member of Seventeen. He had danced with women before, of course, even having participated in more sensual dances, but this felt different. All previous times had been with nameless backup dancers he had never known too well. This was you. He now had to work through an entire choreo with you as the two of you danced around each other (physically and figuratively, he believed).
Most of the song involved a very casual choreo, as the two of you danced mostly separately but complimented one another. The kicker was the bridge of the song, where the melody mellowed out a bit and allowed for a quick dance break of sorts. It was very sensual in nature, and required you and Jihoon to tangle against each other as you used the other's body to complete the dance. Going over it had been full of shy smiles and eyes that couldn't seem to meet. It almost made him believe that you'd felt just as flustered as he did. When you actually began to dance over that part, however, you left Jihoon's mouth watering at how easy it was for you to meld your body to his; how you would guide his shy hands to place them in all the correct places. The feeling of your body against his was new and unfamiliar, but it felt so right to him. He wanted nothing more than to leave his mark on your skin, signaling that he was the only one meant to touch there. He was truly going mad.
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It had now been about two months since Jihoon had first met you. The song hadn't been released yet, but most preparations for it had been done. All that was left was a quick music video shoot plus a few music show appearances that would come after the actual release of the song. Thus far, the song had been announced, with a pending release date of a month from now. Jihoon had enjoyed public reaction to the unexpected collab, with people even going as far as calling you a dynamic duo due to your respective reputations as the main producers of your groups.
You seemed to also enjoy knowing the news had finally broken to the public, even going as far as mentioning Jihoon in some of your lives. He specifically recalled a moment he'd seen as he watched it live, one that had him blushing and kicking his feet. You'd been asked about what it was like working with Jihoon, to which you responded with a whole paragraph of compliments directed at his work ethic, along with a short quip about how cute you found Jihoon to be, deeming it 'difficult to focus with him around.' He felt like he was on cloud nine at the comment, despite how lightheartedly you had delivered it.
After that (and a few more instances of you shooting compliments his way), he had decided he wanted to see you outside of a work-related schedule. He had begun making excuses to find himself on your group's floor, going as far as using Seungkwan and Soonyoung (who you'd unfortunately befriended due to his constant unwanted presence as you two worked on your song) as pawns in order to not be as obvious whenever he went to see you. Despite your usually outgoing demeanor, you seemed a bit more reserved whenever it was only you and Jihoon. He wondered if it was because of his quiet demeanor, or because you might've maybe returned his feelings and felt too shy to be too expressive around your crush - he knew damn well that was his case, at least.
Today the two of you were working out together at the gym - a huge feat for Jihoon, who could not help but ogle at you whenever you weren't paying attention - with him playing the role of your spotter. He had extensive knowledge of weightlifting, which he had been proud to impress you with. Right now, you were working on your arms, which required Jihoon at a close proximity in order to make sure you didn't get hurt. He enjoyed this way more than he could admit to anyone or himself.
"Is this okay? Is this the right position to do it?", you questioned as you made eye contact with him through the mirror. Your arms were lifted above your shoulders, with dumbbells on each of them as you attempted to lift them both at once.
"Yeah. That's perfect. Is it too heavy? Do you need to stop?"
"No, I'm fine, Ji, I promise. Just stand a little closer, yeah? I don't wanna drop them. And put your arms under mine?", he followed your instructions, now towering over you from behind as you sat in front of him.
The two of you had grown more comfortable in the past two weeks or so, seeing each other almost every day while outside of official schedules. He'd learned that, unlike him, you didn't have any issues with personal space, often allowing him to stand too close for comfort. He couldn't complain, though, as he was always too hypnotized by the proximity.
"Shit!", you yelped, almost dropping the dumbbell before Jihoon managed to intercept it. You had begun to do a set before the one minute mark passed, deeming you too weak to lift the dumbbell all the way up. Luckily, you had instructed Jihoon to stand close to you in order to prevent any actual damage.
"Are you okay?", he asked as he placed the dumbbells on the ground, rounding the seat in order to stand in front of your sitting form.
It was mind-numbing, really. The angle in which he was looking down at you, with your pretty eyes looking back at him with a semi-worried expression on your face at the shock of almost dropping such a heavy weight on yourself. The incident left his mind immediately at the sight of you, a layer of sweat covering your skin as you panted while looking up at him. He pulled you up by your arms, helping you stand in front of him. In very cliche fashion, you tripped a bit, almost landing on him before he caught you by your forearms. The classic 'falling-atop-your-crush' trope did not happen, but he still ended up at even a closer proximity to you. Just when he had finally begun to forget the sight of your lips right in front of his from back when you did the jacket shoot together.
He did not move back, and neither did you, allowing the small distance between you to fog both of your minds.
"T-thanks, Hoonie. Could've really hurt myself," this was the first time he'd ever heard a stutter out of you, with your eyes not looking into his as they usually did. Your closeness still not diminishing even when the danger of the situation had already dissipated.
"'Course. Uh, I .. Maybe we should go back to a lighter weight?"
It took you a moment to respond, eventually choosing to look back at him with your pretty eyes, a seemingly empty head to match. He liked the look on you. He could've sworn he saw your eyes lower to his lips, but his mind was too clouded to confirm.
"Uh, actually, I think im done for the day. Is that okay? I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Oh, right. Yeah. I'll meet you in front of your practice room?", he was confused at your sudden departure, dreading the separation, but he figured one of you would have to break the spell eventually.
"Yeah. See you there, Hoonie. I'll text you later, okay?", you gave him a quick peck on his cheek before turning to the exit, leaving behind a beet-red Jihoon as he tried to get his heartbeat to slow to a healthy rhythm.
He was left standing there, in the cold and empty company gym as he pondered as to whether or not his feelings may be mutual.
~
The next day the two of you met again, no mention of yesterday at all. What would there be to mention anyways? That you two stood close to each other? Jihoon felt like such a loser even having considered it anything. He was just inexperienced at this, and very much touch starved, so any small suggestive interaction had him overthinking. Like right now, as you hooked your arm on his to walk along the Hybe building together, not a care in the world about anyone who would see you.
"Did you see the outline for the music video?", you spoke up once the two of you had reached the cafeteria, picking a secluded table to sit at - not that many people wandered there anyway.
"Hmm. No, what is it?", he still hadn't managed to beat the habit of not checking his emails.
You giggled, seeming a little flustered, "Uh, we're playing a couple. Very Bonnie and Clyde but with a grudge twist. Seems pretty cool, actually."
"Oh. We-we're playing a couple?"
"Yeah. I think we can pull it off. You did really good at the shoot. Did you see the finished product? Okay, never mind. I know you didn't. They look really good, though. We look very convincing."
He knew you didn't mean anything by it, but you constantly had him wondering. If you liked him you wouldn't be this direct, right? This must've all been very lighthearted to you. Sure, you were friends, but that's where it all ended for you. Jihoon was the complete opposite. Every single interaction you had had him falling deeper and deeper into a hole of infatuation for you. There was nothing about you he wasn't obsessed with. It had begun to manifest in all areas of his life, even his work. He had never had more unfinished love songs in his hard drive.
Unbeknownst to you, he had purposely avoided taking a look at those pictures, knowing his mind would go blank at the image of you looking at him with those lustful eyes from a third-person perspective. Living through it already had him in agony night after night as he thought of nothing but you.
"Y-yeah. I saw them," he lied, "You did amazing."
"Really?", you were always giddy at his compliments (which didn't come often due to his shy demeanor towards you), "I've never done a more provocative concept like this before. It's fun. It suits you a lot, Jihoon. I'm glad I got to do it with you of all people."
And you had no idea how glad he was too.
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Shooting the music video had somehow been even more agonizing than the photoshoot. It was two grueling days of constant time spent together. He loved your company, but the stylists kept insisting on dressing you in the most provocative outfits imaginable to man. He couldn't think while he looked at you. You were like a siren. Even the strongest of men wouldn't be able to resist you.
The worst of it came in the form of the director instructing you two to act like two lovers against the world. Word for word. It wasn't difficult for Jihoon to pretend he was enamored by you, but he was truly at a loss of words over how well you also played your role. By now he had become numb to your touch, having run through the choreography with you multiple times by now, and with you having become increasingly touchier through the time you'd known each other.
He thanked god under his breath as soon as the two days came to a close, knowing that now he could at least keep his feelings under wraps for a while. It was now about two weeks until the release of the song. According to the schedule, all that was left was one pre-recorded Studio Choom performance, two comeback shows after the release of the song, and two variety show appearances together. It was all pretty straightforward from now on. There was no way Jihoon wouldn't be able to put up with what was left. He had this in the bag.
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The worst thing imaginable happened after that. Jihoon had not planned for this, nor had you, apparently.
It was very sudden and came completely out of left field. It pertained to you, but had affected Jihoon more than anyone involved.
Dispatch had released an article just a week before the official release of the song. Promotions had only begun, but had been slightly disrupted by this sudden interruption.
The article featured you, and an unknown man. They were clearly pictures taken off-guard, from a distance. You were in front of some building, ignorant to any cameras nearby. You were too close for Jihoon's comfort. He knew there was some type of relationship there. The caption to the picture didn't help matters either. Something about an estranged lover you'd been keeping secret from the media. There were too many pictures for Jihoon to process. In some you were embracing, while in others you were sharing a low-quality peck from what he could tell.
Seeing that article had been an absolute punch in the gut. There was no argument against it. There was clearly something between you and that guy. He was standing too close to you, even holding onto you in most of the pictures. You could barely tell it was you, but to Jihoon it was obvious. He had never felt heartbreak like this before. The two of you had never dated or even insinuated actual interest in the other, but it still felt like betrayal to him, as irrational as that thought was. It was all his fault, really. Had he told you about his feelings, maybe things would've been different.
Jihoon felt like an idiot. Of course this had all been just a business transaction to you. You were assigned to work with him, just as he was you. Even if he had led himself to believe that the feelings might've somehow been mutual, it had all just been in his head. What would you see in him anyways? Yeah, sure, you had a few things in common, but who in their right mind would ever want to be with the empty-hearted producer who cared for nothing but work. Hell, the day he met you was yet another day in which he had been willingly locked in his studio all day. That was what you would've been signing up for, had you looked his way. He didn't wish such a loveless relationship to anyone. He knew by now that he did- he did love you, but he knew he was probably unable to love you in the way you deserved. He was incapable of that. At 26, he'd had no experience with love. Why would someone as beautiful and amazing as you want to be with someone like him?
He was in love with you. That was something he could now full-heartedly admit to himself. Within these two months he had fallen deeply in love with you. Nothing could change that by now, not even knowing that you were already taken. He couldn't help himself in locking himself in his house after that, ignoring and all messages from both you and his manager regarding the few rehearsals he had skipped over.
Hybe did their damage control, making the situation go away as soon as it arose, but to Jihoon the damage had been done. He felt like an irrational idiot being hurt by this, but he needed to be away from you for a few days. You hadn't done anything to him, but he couldn't see you right now without feeling pain. He was punishing you with no proper justification, but his feelings were too strong for him to put up with.
A little over an entire day went on like this, with no communication from Jihoon to anyone. He was surprised no one had come looking for him until now, the moment in which bangs against his front door could be heard all the way from his room. Whoever was looking for him had made liberal use of the doorbell too, not giving him a single break from its constant ringing as he tried to ignore it. He finally grew too tired of it, deciding to give up his moping and going downstairs to beg that person to leave him alone to his misery. He still needed a few days before he could go face his reality. He couldn't face you just yet.
Except the choice had been made for him. His first mistake had been not checking the doorbell camera, which would've made him privy on who exactly was knocking on his door. He felt bad at thinking this, but had he known it was you, he never would've opened it.
He was beyond embarrassed at his appearance, once more wearing a three-day-old shirt and his cheeks damp with the tears he hadn't yet wiped away. You, on the other hand, looked as beautiful as ever. You carried a worried look on your face, lips pouty and eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. He was not given time to welcome you in before you barged in for yourself, launching yourself at him in a tight hug before he could say anything. He wasn't an idiot, and he was too weak for his liking, so he held you back just as tight, enjoying a good three or so minutes of silence as you held each other.
You pulled away too soon for his liking, unhooking your face from the crook of his neck as you spoke up, still holding onto him, "Jihoon ... I'm so sorry. It's- it's not what you think, I swear. Please believe me."
He wasn't sure why you were so apologetic. You didn't owe him anything. He felt like even more of a loser at making you feel like you had to apologize for having a boyfriend. He knew that by now there was no way you didn't know about his crush on you, which made him feel even more humiliated at the situation. He separated himself from you for the first time ever, creating some distance as he refused to look at you. He took this chance to close the door he had left open when you had attacked him with your embrace.
"You don't have to ..."
"No, Jihoon. Listen to me. Please."
Your eyes were glossy now, and Jihoon felt bad at causing you any distress, so he signaled at you to continue.
"It's not- it isn't what you think. Yeah, I ... I did have a ... a thing with that guy. I know Hybe denied it being me, but you know- you know it's me. But it's not how it looks!"
"Then ... what is it?", he couldn't believe he was even letting himself ask that question, as if you had to explain yourself to him. But part of him really wanted to know. He wanted to somehow hear you say that it wasn't true, that you would never look at anyone but him.
"It's an old picture. He- he used to work for our group, as staff. We had a thing. It ended badly. Haven't really dated since then. This was before I met you, Jihoon, please, I need you to know that."
"You .. Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you need me to know that?", he hoped against all hope that you'd answer with what he'd been wanting to hear since he met you, but he knew he was playing with the devil when asking you that. He knew there was a very logical chance that you'd just confirm your platonic feelings for him, or straight up reject him.
"You know, Jihoon. I know you know. I- I'd never do that to you. I'd never look at anyone but you."
"Do you-"
"Yes', you paused, 'I like you, Jihoon."
And then his heart stopped beating.
"So much. Since we met. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the day we met. I like you so fucking much. I can't think of anything else. I thought it was just because I've always been a fan of yours, but ... being around you just made me feel so happy. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Fuck, I'm sorry I made you feel like there was someone else in the picture."
He didn't know what to say. You'd said everything he had wanted to hear for the past two months. You liked him. It wasn't one-sided. There was nothing stopping him from making you his now. Those feelings he thought had been fake for the portrayal of your song's concept had been genuine all along. He'd never felt such relief.
"Jihoon? Is it not ...? Fuck. Did I misread everything? Shit, I'm sorry. I should, uh, I should go-"
Fuck. No! He needed to reciprocate, he just had no idea how. He couldn't have you thinking he wasn't equally (if not more) obsessed with you. So he did the one thing he could think of in that moment. Something he had imagined time and time again, but never had the courage to do.
You yelped against him as he pulled his lips to yours, but immediately began kissing him back. There was nothing tender about the kiss as Jihoon would've expected. It was a complete mess from the start. The kiss was a testament to how badly you'd both wanted each other this whole time.
Jihoon felt lightheaded at the feeling of your tongue sneaking its way into his mouth, and the moans that accompanied it. He couldn't help but feel immediate arousal at your touch. He wasn't sure how to kiss you. He'd never shared such a passionate exchange before, but he wanted to give you everything in him with his kiss.
You only pulled away when you were out of breath, still keeping yourself as close to him as possible as you breathed into each other's mouths, your lips lightly closing over his as you regained your breath.
"Hoonie ..." the sound of your breathless voice muttering his name did shameful things to him. There was no way he could handle a conversation right now.
"Tell me- tell me you like me. I need to know. Please ..." the sheer lust and desperation in your voice were things that would never leave Jihoon's mind.
"So much. I li- I love you. You have no idea. Every day was agony not acting on it. I'm sorry if it's too much, but it's true. I've never felt this way before. I'm in love with you. The thought of you with someone else made me wanna give everything up. It's ... God, I just love you."
You didn't seem to need any more words before closing the gap again, this time backing him up against the nearest wall as you kissed him with all your might. You took full control of the kiss, grabbing his cheeks and angling him so you could play with his lips as you saw fit. He moaned and writhed against you, shyly attempting to hold onto your waist but not actually daring to. You must've caught wind of his intentions, grabbing onto his hands and forcing them on your waist, pressing your chest up against his. He began to caress your waist, falling in love with the slope of your back in the process. He was still shy with his movements, but his lips were nothing but. He adored your soft sighs against his lips any time his tongue would suckle on yours, or any time his teeth nibbled on your bottom lip.
You must've eventually grown tired of his shy demeanor, grabbing onto his arms and pining them above his head, beginning to softly grind against him as you began to lick and suck at his neck. Jihoon was on cloud nine. His body was unsure of how to react to such pleasure from someone he had already grown so addicted to.
"Hoonie ... want you so bad ... please," his knees buckled at your begging, your warm breath hitting against his ear as he groaned out at the thought of you in his bed.
He was simply a shell of himself at that point, so it had been your responsibility to drag the both of you in the direction he pointed his bedroom was at, but as soon as you were there, you pushed him to lay on the bed. He was ready for whatever you were willing to give him. He had no chance against you anyway.
"Hoonie, shit. Been wanting you for so long. Can I, please?", you'd begun to straddle him, leaning over him as you ghosted over his lips. He swore he wasn't going to make it, body heating up at the mere suggestion of you touching him.
"P-please ..."
You began kissing him again, running your hands up and down his torso, eventually landing on his crotch, softly caressing it as he whined into your mouth.
"Oh? Jihoonie ... You're so hard. Want me to help you?"
"Fuck ... Need you so bad, please ..."
"But we haven't even started to have fun," you moved your hand away, now sitting up a bit to begin grinding against his crotch, deep movements making his eyes roll back as his arms laid limp on his sides.
"Won't you touch me, Hoonie? Don't be shy. You already know how much I want you," you guided his hands to your hips, making him clamp his fingers on the clothed flesh while you moaned out at the feeling of his hard cock gracing your most delicate parts.
You were both beginning to heat up, which led you to throw your shirt off, now only in a bra and some sweats. He audibly moaned at the view, only causing you to play it up for him as you caressed your own covered breasts, "Want me to take my bra off, baby? Hmm?"
"Y-yes. Wanna see you so bad. You're so beautiful."
That was enough for you to wiggle your way out of your pants, throwing off your bra right after. The sight had his cock squirming under you. No amount of lonely nights thinking about you could have ever prepared him for the sight before him. Your soft skin shining under the soft light of the half drawn blinds. He wanted to memorize your body, leave his mark on every inch of it, but his arms would not move from your hips. He knew that the moment he got his hands on you he would finally face insanity. There was not a single detail he wasn't already obsessed with. He wanted you so badly, but he didn't know what to do with himself. His cock was extremely swollen under his sweats, begging to find comfort in any crevice of your body you would allow. The fleeting thought of fucking your pretty tits flew through his mind, making him shudder as he continued to pant at the beautiful girl sitting on him.
"Touch me?", you asked, already guiding his hands to your breasts, making him sit up to be face to face with you.
"Holy fuck ..." he moaned at the warmth of your breasts in his hands. He couldn't help himself in getting his fill of you, hands squeezing and running all over your chest. The moment he dared to pinch at your nipples he truly saw heaven, hearing you whine his name in the prettiest sound he'd ever heard.
"Hoo-Hoonie ... Please. Touch me more. Just like that," you let your head fall back, sighing at the soft touch of his fingers pinching at your nipples, "Your mouth, Hoonie ..."
That was all he needed to lower his head and begin licking at your nipples, biting lightly as he pulled at them, dick twitching desperately at the pretty sounds leaving your lips. He could've sworn he'd cum just from how beautiful you sounded. His ears were ringing by now, only able to process the feeling of your hand pressing his face against your chest and your hips suddenly restarting their movements against his own.
You let him make out with your tits for a bit before pulling him off, much to his dismay. You giggled at his reaction, but began to pout at him to get him to remove his top.
"Shit. God, Hoonie, you're so gorgeous," you breathed out upon seeing his bare chest, running your hands up and down the blank canvas. You let your own fingers pull and pinch at his nipples a bit, slow in your movements as he whined at you. He understood now, how fucking good such a light touch in such a sensitive area felt. He was beginning to lose all air in his brain, mind foggy as you gave him all types of pleasure.
He needed you now. Needed attention in his nether area so bad. He could feel how wet you were through his sweats, softly begging you to please let him have you. The whisper against your ear had you pulling your hands away from his chest, separating yourself enough to look into his eyes.
"Want you too. Can I have it, Hoonie? Fuck ... Will you judge me if I beg? I just ... Want you in my mouth so bad, Hoonie, please."
He felt embarrassed by his reaction, but he couldn't help but moan loudly at that simple sentence, nodding like crazy at the proposition. The last time he'd been in someone's mouth had been years ago. He had felt intimate touch before, but only a handful of times total. He was fully unprepared for what your mouth encompassing him would feel like.
Before he knew it, you had thrown off both his pants and boxers, enticing him to sit at the edge of the bed as you knelt in front of him. You were looking at his cock as if it were your last meal, eyes crossed and a moan leaving your mouth at the sight. He couldn't believe a gorgeous thing like yourself would ever show so much thirst for him. His soul left his body the moment you lowered your tongue onto his tip, kitten-licking at it as you looked up into his eyes. What truly made him lose his mind, however, was the moment you began to bob your head up and down his cock, with your hands playing and scratching at his balls. His hands clutched at the sheets, unable to hold himself in a sat up position due to the unimaginable pleasure. He was unsure how he didn't cum the moment you put your mouth on him (or the moment you kissed him, if he was being honest).
"So- fuck ... So fucking good. You're perfect. Please ..." he wasn't sure what he was begging for. The pleasure was clouding his mind. And then you did something that had him gasping for air. You unglued your mouth from gagging on his cock in favor of licking and sucking at his balls. His eyes rolled all the way back into his brain, back arching against the bed as you took turns licking his balls and worshiping his cock.
Unsurprisingly, he came in your mouth moments later, almost blacking out at the feeling. He was unable to catch his breath for a good minute, all the while you swallowed his seed and sat back on him. Before he was able to resume his breathing, you had already shoved your tongue back in his mouth, making him whine at the mixture of your saliva and his cum twirling in your tongue. He couldn't help his hands running all over your body, hugging and squeezing at every curve he could reach.
"Baby, I-"
"Taste so good, Hoonie, fuck. You have no idea how much I thought about that. Every time you wore those tiny little shorts to dance practice all I wanted to do was kick everyone out and beg you to fuck my mouth."
Jesus Christ. He hated how outspoken you were sometimes. He felt himself begin to harden again at just the simple thought of you wanting him as much as he did you (even though he was 99% sure that was impossible). He felt bad, but he was a bit sad he had cum in your mouth. He had thought of the feeling of your cunt wrapping around him almost every night for the past month. He knew he'd get it sooner or later, but a sinister part of his brain was begging him to flip you around and go to town on you. He might've been inexperienced, but he knew that his body would take him there if he needed it.
"W-wanna ..."
"Hmm? Yeah, baby?", you softly caressed his cheek, looking at him with so much love in your eyes.
"Please ..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt too ashamed at asking for even more out of you when he'd already made you do all the work to confess and even made him have the best orgasm of his life.
"Yeah, Hoonie? Want me? Want you too. You have no idea ..." he thanked god the moment you started grinding against his bare dick yet again, leaning down to lick at his lips, "Can I ride you, baby? Please ... Been dreaming about it."
All he could do was whine and nod as his hands squeezed at your ass, trying to entice you into lifting your hips so you could finally sit on his now hardened dick.
No words left his mouth as you finally lowered on him, all his focus on the pretty expression on your face as you moaned out at the feeling of being impaled by him. His back arched, head digging back into the mattress at the feeling of your cunt tightening around him. He felt your back arch too as you leaned down to kiss him, mouths open as you whined and mewled at each other.
You began humping him with no proper rhythm, causing him to thrust upwards to meet your own grinds. He was so desperate for you. Nothing compared to how good he felt in that moment. Your body was drawing all types of pleasure out of him.
"F-feel so good. Hoonie ... You're so- Ah! So fucking good for me."
"Me? You ... Shit. Never felt this good. You're perfect," you tightened at his words, making him plant his feet on the bed and begin to frantically fuck upwards, leading you to scream and whine his name for all his neighbors to hear.
"Love you so much- Fuck! Been wanting you forever. Didn't know how hard I'd fall for you that day, shit. You're everything to me," he couldn't help himself in rambling yet another confession in your ear as you attempted to match the animalistic pace of his thrusts.
"Love you too, Hoonie. You have n-no idea. Never letting you go. You- you're mine now," and yours he wanted to be forever.
Jihoon had never imagined he'd feel love like this as long as he was alive. He had lost hope in finding the perfect girl many years ago, assuming his lifestyle to be too difficult for him to find someone to love him so strongly, but now he had you. Now he had you in his arms as you professed your love for one another. He had never felt such happiness. His ability to think left him soon after, however, as you clamped down on him with yet another scream of his name as you found your end, taking him with you in his own.
After the two minutes or so that it took you to regain your breaths, you managed to cuddle up against each other, unable to stop caressing each other in one way or another. The smiles wouldn't leave your faces. Jihoon couldn't help but think of his life; how he had everything a man could ever want, and now he had you on top of all that, and you'd quickly become his favorite thing. You spent the rest of the day in his bed, making love and waxing poetic at one another. You completely disregarded any collab preparations for the day, opting instead to finally give into each other to the fullest extent.
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Soon after, all promotions finally ended. You and Jihoon received equal accolades on your ability to mix both your styles, achieving a successful collaboration between two monster producers. The praise over being all rounders was also endless, as people commended you both for the production, vocals, dance, visuals and chemistry demonstrated all throughout the promotional period.
People noticed how comfortable you were around each other, despite having never publicly interacted before the release date of the single. People believed it was simply amazing work ethic being showcased by the two of you, but what didn't meet the public eye was the genuine love and enjoyment behind every interaction. The two of you had made it a point to begin appearing publicly together often from then on (strictly as friends to anyone who asked, of course), which allowed you to hide your relationship in plain sight.
Jihoon had never been happier, now having you as yet another companion to visit him at his Universe Factory any time he would lock himself in there to work, a habit that began to diminish as he grew more and more addicted to your company outside the confinement of those four walls.
Today was yet another one of those occasions, as you were sharing yet another meal together at the Hybe cafeteria. Staff was mostly unaware of the nature of your relationship, but you two liked it that way.
"Hey," you called out to him as you played around with his phone.
"Hmm?"
"Did you see this email from Bumzu?", he shook his head in denial, "He said Hybe's requesting your help producing for Gyu's collab with Jungkook. Cause of how well ours did."
"Yeah?", he chuckled, "Gonna have to talk to him. Not doing it without you."
"Oh, really?", you grinned at him, "Wanna team up again?", you leaned closer to him, but not too close to draw suspicion from the few other idols and staff around who were eating there.
"Mhm. You did most of the work. Couldn't've done it without you."
He knew that to be completely true, as he would've remained in his slump had you not come out of left field to make his life do a 180.
"Wanna team up with you for the rest of my life."
You smiled at him. He could see in your eyes you wanted to show some sort of affection towards him, but could not due to the public setting. All it took was one look between you for him to know you felt the same. You held his hand under the table, going back to conversation about your next possible collaboration together with your other labelmates, happy to have found a soulmate in one another.
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a/n: idk how other writers are putting out 20k+ words monsters jesus christ. anyways i rlly hope u enjoyed <33 this concept had been plaguing my mind for a while so im rlly happy to have finally finished it!!
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