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#the only thing good abt him was his jokes
blacst4r · 2 days
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heyyy, so um saw u was doing reqs and i've got one! would you please do a head cannon for yk the bloodline, obviously? but like how they are in a relationship/how they are when ...(you can make up the situation).
no smut involved please, unless ur talkin abt the relationship thing x
please and thank u, btw i ur writing is so mwah, gorgeous. ☆☆
𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐜
🔖-Tysm girlie! 💋
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𝐉𝐞𝐲
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➴ Sentimental and mushy, especially when he's working on the road and away from you. It gets lonely not having the one he loves alongside him as he's traveling. So expect sappy love texts and calls, with him expressing just how much he misses you. When he's making those long drives, he'll call just to hear your voice accompany him.
➴ Easy-going for the most part, with a little bit of a temper that only you're able to calm. He constantly reiterates that you're his peace, about to ease his mind and relax his mood whenever he's bothered. He looks to you for comfort.
➴ So in love with you he proposed after barely a year, as he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.
➴ Introduced you to your first traditional samoan tattoo that was done by Mike, as both you and Jey got each others names tatted on each other along with some designs. During the tatting session he was emotional as he shared a big part of himself with his wife. He got a third palm tree with your name on it, as you got one too with his name.
𝐉𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐲
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➴ Extremely goofy and light-hearted, it's like dating a sitcom character the way he jokes and plays all day. There's never a dull moment with him, he always keeps you smiling and laughing. It brings him immense joy to see you in good spirits because of his silly actions. It makes for all the better when you're just as playful and goofy, as yall practically have the same personality.
➴ The man is stuck to you like glue, always hugged up on you whether at home or out in public. He swears he just needs that constant physical contact, feeling your body up against his, "baby I need yo warmth."
➴ Aggravates you till no end about having a baby, as he desires one more child. "C'monnn, lemme have you round here barefoot and pregnant."
➴ Matches your freak 1000% 2 freaky frogs who aren't afraid to get it in with even a tinge of privacy. He's turned on by the very sight of you and can't get enough, his sex drive is off the charts. If he's not complimenting your body, he's whispering naughty things in your ear about the various positions he can have you in. If theres an opportunity to get a quickie, yall are taking it.
𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐨
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➴ Very attentive, taking in the little details you didn't even think he'd notice about you. He's surprised you with gifts, based on your small interests and hobbies. You have an impressive lego collection thanks to him. He's great observer who knows your likes & dislikes without even having to tell him.
➴ a good listener, but he has to be because you're a certified yapper sometimes, going on and on, still his attention never waivers. He may not add on to the conversation, but he'll ad-lib with a- "mhm, uh-huh, word? damn thats crazy" to let you know he hasn't lost interest. He loves to see you so passionate about whatever topic you're rambling on about, it's cute to him.
➴ Loves to pamper his baby, specifically in foot rubs as you relax with your feet in his lap. His sultry voice serenades you as his firm hands knead in motions, applying pressure to points that'll have you holding back moans.
"You like that baby? How that feel?"
𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧
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➴ Super chill and laid back, just a simple man who lovingly puts up with your energetic ways. Often joking about how hyper you are.
➴ Keeps you well grounded and level-headed, doesn't allow you to stress over anything when your emotions start to get the best of you. He doesn't do arguments, attitudes, or silent treatments. Wanting proper communication of any issues either of you have, but he can get you in check if need be.
➴ a romantic who knows how to set the mood, with dates that see an entire restaurant rented out for the two of you as he likes his privacy.
➴ Dominant figure in and out the bedroom, providing for you in every way, making you feel comfortable in submitting to him. He takes charge and takes the lead as the man of the house, with no complaints from you. And in the bedroom? This man bends and twists your body every which way for hours, leaving nothing to be desired.
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🏷️: @trc-punzel @shes2real @cyberdejos2 @whatdoeseverybodywant @venusesworld @thatone-girly @yeaiamme2 @slut4slashersluv @von2dutch @theninthwonder @strqirhrts @romanreignsbae @sayyestoheav3nn
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 day
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ur notifs are dealing real & true damage to my psyche ♥️ everytime i remember he’s six ft three i pray for immediate amnesia bc i feel myself losing decorum the more i ponder on it ♥️ been thinking a lot abt how he’d probably claim to not have a love language but do small gestures for u and play it off like its nothing.
example i imagine oliver being only your unofficial 🔌 but only bc he’s a freak abt u getting shit from anyone else and insists that his ppl have stuff with good quality control. which is sweet but obnoxious in a way only he can be. always insists on rolling for you. having your fave snacks for the inevitable munchies and when u press him abt the cost he claims he can think of 100 better ways for u to pay him back.
being so genuinely honest i think its hilarious imagining how his pr ppl might have tried to push him to shave. maybe to help with a better image in the press or for an awards ceremony or ad campaign that he got signed to but i would do smth drastic if he lost the scruff like……being forced to admit u liked it…..i hate that man
and u mentioned the babytrapping/roleplay (?) in response to another anon. i know that man is such an enabler during ovulation week like actively provokes u to get a reaction bc he loves that particular brand of desperation…. think of the WORST most smug individual u know and its probably oliver aiku. i want to tenderise him with a mallet!!!
resident oliver gremlin
BELOVED ANON ITS U AGAIN,,,, AS ALWAYS U SEE MY VISION WITH CLARITY
he's a lot of things you know... a scumbag... a jackass.. and for all the fights you get into over his loud mouth he is always kind of paying attention to you. he gets you the good weed, and his house always has the snacks you like (though he insists he just picked whatever no matter what) and when he can't keep up the facade - he'll act his usual self which is crass and off-putting and deliberately irritating
no one really gets why you and him are such a thing. why you can't leave him alone when he bugs you so much - but he really does just care in these very small and pointless ways that make u want to be around him despite all the other bullshit.
the whole shaving pr fiasco happens and oliver comes to tell you about it. he doesn't even really fuck you, you just kind of hang-out. he makes a one-off joke about keeping it just for you - it's not the same eating your pussy without giving you some rugburn. and you laugh and you're a little too close to him and brush his face and he kinda stops and goes "you really do like it though, right?"
its a little surprising but you nod and say yeah and he seems to like. almost visbly relax. his throat bobs and he hums, pleased and goes "i knew you did," but you kind of want to ask if that's true. does he really care that much about how u feel on how he looks? did that ever matter to him? it's not like he's not hot. he knows he's hot.
(oliver does not bother telling you that he indeed keeps the facial hair after a long night where you told him he's unfuckable without it. he also does not mention that sometimes, when you sleep against his chest - you push your face up and rub against him in a way he likes. he keeps these things to himself constantly)
ovulation week when ur schedule lines up.... u are not seeing daylight. he purposely wears his tight ass compression shirts and sweats and makes u paw at him like a cat in heat and then bullies you a bit before fucking you about it bc he's so nice. i need to go lay down.
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rainofthetwilight · 3 months
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I hate my math teacher 💞 kuli khara ebleez 🥰
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schmweed · 10 months
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leatherbookmark · 1 year
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an interesting thing abt jgy antis is like. where is the source of their, shall we say, negative opinion of jgy? like, 1. jgy is a villain, he does horrible things with no remorse, he’s willing to do everything to achieve his selfish, egotistical goals. --> 2. the source of this claim: this, this and this scene. --> 3. alright, but to me -- says someone who’s not an anti -- this reads differently. that he did all those things, and did them on purpose and without remorse, is not that obvious to me. why do you think that? --> 4. well, obviously because he’s a villain and does horrible things with no remorse.
like... he’s evil because he does bad things, and he does bad things because he’s evil. i’m interested in how antis came by those opinions, but a, unfortunately i have them all blocked, and b, even if i or someone else made a poll, it wouldn’t be authentic because no sane anti is going to say “well, people hated him and wrote all those things about him on twt, so i started hating him as well”, or “i only care about wgxn, you could sell me anything about other characters if your arguments were convincing enough because i zoned out during the parts when wgxn weren’t on screen/pages of the book”. it’s all “written in the book/shown in the show” and “logical arguments you’d agree with if only you could read”.
#thinking back to my early c/q/l days where i reblogged this dumb ass meta abt how jgy FOR SURE pushed lxc away because he WANTED HIM#to be tormented by uncertainty forever. like 'the worst person you know just saved your life; what now' kinda thing#i was like oh... THIS IS SO RIGHT... because it felt bittersweet and painful and i am Still guilty of accepting/agreeing with headcanons#or interpretations that aren't 100% what i think because i have this ingrained idea that other people are always more mature and#sophisticated and smarter than me and so they Know Better#the person (i think?) later went on to write a meta abt how jgy is a badwrong narcissist. so#(this is also the reason why i spent months praising and getting excited abt a fic where jgy was dating nmj for like a decade despite#not loving him; and why he cheated on him many times with lxc Just Because. i didn't think jgy would do something like that but everyone#else was like omg this is SOOOOO good so i was like shit i guess it is! IT'S SOOOO GOOD OMG;;;;; have i mentioned i have no brain on#my own? yea)#anyway i'm not gonna paint myself as this genius from the first watch because I Too had wgxn goggles fucking ON and didn't even notice#the box hand touch during my first watch. (have i mentioned i am not very smart or observant) and when wwx was whistling ghosts at jgy#and jgy was clearly Going Thru It in the guanyin temple i was like 'haha good for him'#but iirc i Was nonetheless drawn to him (although xy was first <3) and it was like. well he's evilbad but maybe he felt bad when he murdered#his child? --> well maybe he's not 100% evilbad... maybe... --------------> a-yao did nothing wrong and i will kill you if you even suggest#otherwise. (<-- a joke.)#anyway a whole bunch of antis seem like kindasorta stuck in that initial wgxn-centered; everyone else either has 2 personality traits Max#or is either wgxn allies (good) or wgxn Haters (we hates them forever!) just like. unwilling to accept any new viewpoints At All#and then there are Types of those jgy antis because you have people who hate him for Other Reasons and people who hate them because they.#honestly seem like they've only read moralistic books for young children where the brave kind hero is the one you're supposed to cheer for#and want to be like; and the villain has all the traits you're supposed to know are Bad (mean greedy selfish lazy etc) AND NOTHING ELSE.#its like that *man who only saw boss baby watching another movie* damn this is giving me some serious boss baby vibes ! meme#anyway. love it when the tags are 3x longer than the post. cheers#shrimp thoughts
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bylertruther · 2 years
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"it's not my fault you don't like girls!" is such a crazy line for so many reasons.
they filmed versions with mike saying "you don't like girls yet" but didn't use it. hm.
"you don't like girls"? so... mike knows, right? and he backs down because bringing it up (even though technically it's not uncalled for since will was the first to make it personal but anyway) clearly hurt will?
"it's not my fault" so mike recognizes that will is unfairly zeroing in on him? that he's upset with mike specifically being the one to get a girlfriend and abandon him, himself, and their party for her?
"it's not my fault" so it's true that he feels suddenly cornered and attacked here, and that's why he puts his foot in his mouth? that he really wasn't trying to be a jerk like many still think?
the general fact that mike obviously is not the reason will's gay, but also he kind of is very much the reason lmao.
the way that he basically says "listen, i know that you're gay and all, but did you seriously think it was going to be you and me, together, us and only us, sitting in what has always been our safe space doing that which has always brought us joy, forever?" and will responds with a very simple "yes. i did. i really did." that kills and breaks the heart of everyone in a 5k mile radius including them. :(
#mine#it will never Not be insane methinks#could u imagine if that's when mike maybe had an inkling of will's feelings and then at the end of s3 he realized His feelings and then#there's the radio silence between them n mike is always calling calling calling only to receive Nothing At All from will and hears from el#tht he's painting for who she thinks is a girl so in his mind he's like 'fuck. i guess it was possible after all. :/' but whatever it's fin#his heart hurts but it's fine it Has to be fine they can still be friends and that'll just have to be enough it's okay he has el it's Fine#it's literally soooooooooooo fine so he's trying to ask will questions like he doesn't wanna fucking off himself rn LMAO but will is being#rude for whatever reason which like. weird. but No This Is Fine I'll Make It Fine Maybe It's Just The Distance Idk :( so he keeps trying n#cracks a joke but will doesn't laugh he just stares at him with a Done^tm look on his face so fuckign whatever it's not fine but#WHATEVER his gf has been lying to him for months and will didn't say anything AT ALL not abt that and just in fucking general will who said#'not possible' but clearly Lied abt it and likes someone else now while he's reeling over this still and then it turns out tht will is#hurting too so mike extends an olive branch again n takes full blame n responsibility even though he doesn't need to at all and he opens up#to will abt things he doesn't tell anyone else and it's Good it's Working and will gives him the most beautiful painting ever but oh...#it's not from him.. it's from el.. :/ ok... and everything he's saying is from el and every time he tries to talk to will he ends up making#it about el so like. okay. alright. i guess he did move on. which is fine bc it has to be fine bc he only wants to be best friends again n#mike will never say no to him n then el is dying n then the world splits in 4 n then max dies n then she doesn't n el isn't talking to him#and she's keeping things from him again and will is in trouble again And Nothing Is Fucking Fine Actually and he STILL doesn't kno tht will#told him the biggest lie EVER and like. jesus fucking christ. could u imagine being mike wheeler i'd fucking kms THAT'S TOO MUCH STRESS!
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yoonjinzayn · 2 years
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so. i didn’t update y’all bc i honestly didn’t know how to say all of this but here
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 2 years
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Joe Zieja on stream playing Three Hopes voice: the only good dad
don’t take this seriously in a way that harasses joe even indirectly where he may never see it or im going to put the bottom of the aegis shield through your head
#Fire Emblem Three Houses#Fire Emblem Three Hopes#Three Houses#Rodrigue#Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius#Three Hopes#FE16#you all rly thought i wouldn't take sev up on that offer?#tossing love for characters into tags? throwing love around bc it's nice to have???#and yes I am in fact quoting Joe Zieja when I say the only good dad in his exact words#hey look maybe he was half joking but considering he comments regularly while playing on all the dads he thinks are bad dads#im pretty sure to some degree he actual meant yes this is the only good dad in two playthroughs of houses and one playthrough of hopes#and he did play felix's paralogue in houses so he has met rodrigue to some extent#and considering like 75 percent of the fanbase behaves like joe z's opinions and thoughts are word of god. well.#anyway joe z is a cool human being and im chill with him and he's fun to play jackbox with#yes i will take his comment about this old man seriously bc it makes my heart happy and fluttery to hear anyone say such nice things abt him#JUST for this nice comment he made about rodrigue i'll forgive him for the time he accidentally murdered yuri#and was going to continue playing the rest of the game with yuri dead until his whole chat was like#no go back bc he also killed judith in that map run. oh and he literally didn't care abt killing yuri so like#listen. that comment abt rodrigue is the level needed to make me overlook such terrible things#NOT MANY THINGS WILL MAKE ME OVERLOOK A HEARTLESS MURDER OF YURI SO THIS WAS IMPORTANT#joe has since completely neglected yuri tho btw smh joe why are you like this#why do you love balthus and constance but you won't even glance at the prettiest boy#wife hapi also doesn't seem to be on his list of import. joe how could u my guy#joe we play jackbox together and write dumb answers together how could u do yuri lovers like this#but i'll let it slide bc u said something nice and just abt rodrigue#yeah this has like very little to do with the post anymore but hey at least the yuri shenanigans are fond joe z memories now#this post is like half a joke but also not a joke u kno??? one of those kinds???
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astrxealis · 2 years
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head hurts a Bit rn but also no regrets
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LAST NIGHT (super early morning) was so FUN#and also LAST NIGHT (last night)#i played songs the first few minutes tbh like. okay nvm i played songs until the speaker ran out of battery (under an hour!)#first song of the year was flow bcs hell yeah. timed perfectly so that it fits w the 'deep dark far away' and AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH#theres this gaming club im in right. for school. and we have a disc server where i lurk a lot and read basically everything#but usually don't reply GAJRHEJDJBFSJ ANYWAYS they called us numbers and integers and even anons in the chat wtf#kinda funny. took me back to when dad jokes to us abt being B1 and B2 (BANANAS IN PAJAMAS YOOOOO)#okay anyways. man i was really worried thisd be the worst (b)day of my life but so far it's been pretty great. man.#i'm not used to receiving gifts or nice words from others to be frank like uhh outside of the usual customary greetings#i am Also not used to others spending money for me. guhdkfbsjfb. considering i also don't even use it for myself or for others#BUT YEAH .... shocker morning and i think i was kinda hyper ngl. was gonna get a minion but i realized you cant do that anymore#so the minion i wanted was aerith :)) so then yk! i made a joke afterwards haha :))) rip#i'm EVIL. anyways love that friend he's really like a big bro and really fun to talk to and tease#interesting to think abt bcs idk if it's the same for him but! he is our only close friend w a twin. and so are we#and dudes not as close w his (older) twin so i think he and i kinda like. get each other. NOT THAT I'M NOT CLOSE W LUNE but yeah ??#younger twin things! really coincidental tho fr... i even remember being Slightly annoyed by them first meeting. how things change#really glad w this last year tbh bcs i've met a lot of great people and grew more! lots of bad moments too ofc but i super love the good <3#cheers to this next year being hopefully Great despite all the flaws <3 esp bcs uhm. it's. yeah KDHSKDBSK#being a teen is so PAINFUL ...... but it's part of life and a stage i am ever willing to walk ^___^#BUT ANYWAYS LAST NIGHT (EARLY MORNING) THAT WAS SO FUN BUT FUNNY LMFAO#actually uh yikes what#okay something happened HELP i am a bit confused w my dad rn#kinda frustrating tho bcs Bro ... it is my Special Day ...... you cld. yk. be chill ant it
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sunsetsover · 24 days
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imagine my face last night when i (extensive history of suicidal ideation) (has chronically felt lonely and unloved for my whole life) (daughter of an alcoholic) (biggest fear for most of my life was ending up an alcoholic) (has actually witnessed someone drink themselves to death) (also actively drunk at the time) sat down to watch episode four of only friends only for the episode to open with ray trying to kill himself because he felt so unloved and lonely and was petrified of ending up like his mum, who later in the episode was revealed to have drunk herself to death. just imagine my face.
#touched a wound in me that does not often get touched. i hated it more than words can actually say. i may have cried.#how are you gonna go from boston bouncing on top's dick in the back of his car to that. like how are you actually gonna do that to me.#the bpd thing was supposed to be a JOKE but bitch we are not LAUGHING anymore#girl also fuck mew's stupid ass too i like him as a character him and sand r like the only normal ones so far#but to be the one to find him and see what a state he was in and know what he was going thru ESP knowing his mum's history?#and do NOTHING abt the current state he's in?#talking abt some 'i'm here for u <3' in the flashback when we've already seen how he treats n talks to him in the first 3 eps#like ofc he can't be responsible for him n ray definitely has Problems and isn't the greatest friend either#but calling him a drunkard n letting him drive drunk isn't exactly helpful ! nor is it being there for someone !#sands known him for five minutes and already told him multiple times he needs therapy#like joking or not he at least seems to have some kind of awareness that hm the way he's behaving is not normal maybe he needs some help#girl fuck only friends this show should be called shitty friends. they all deserve better friends. like all of them.#believe it or not im enjoying this show a lot but every time i see ray i feel like someone is taking out my heart w an ice cream scoop#hes just tragic like hes a mess but he's TRAGIC bc hes confused and lonely and a mess but you can tell he's not a bad person#like you can tell he's kind and he's TRYING to be a good friend he's TRYING not to hurt sand he just doesn't know HOW#and thats what makes it worse like he very clearly doesnt WANT to be the way he is but no one is HELPING him and i wanna KMS abt it
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thedarkbringer · 1 month
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Funny things abt Arcade Gannon that I LOVE:
He gets angrier when activating Archimedes than when you literally sell him into slavery. The difference between his fake-nice "Hi! Did you always mean to sell me to Caesar or was that a spur-of-the-moment thing?" And him screaming "YOU ACTIVATED ARCHIMEDES!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!?" is SO FUNNY.
ALSO WHY CAN YOU DO THAT?? WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT THE FACT YOU CAN SELL HIM TO CAESAR???
How nice he is to a low-int Courier. He feels responsible for you and tags along to make sure you don't die. There's a low-int dialog option when he remarks on ED-E also, where the player can say they don't know what an EMP grenade is and he responds: "It's... a thing. A science thing. It hurts robots. Don't worry about it. Silly Arcade's just telling magnetic field jokes for his own amusement" (the only time he's rude to the low-int Courier is when they turn on Archimedes, and even then, he just calls them a moron.)
You can make him a follower by (as prev mentioned) being stupid, charismatic, a good friend of his organization, or gay as a daisy. Male couriers flirt with him ONCE and he abandons everything. Idiot couriers stumble over their words and he feels a horrible amount of sympathy for them, to the point he simply cannot let them walk off and die bc of something stupid.
He is, to his core, an idealist. This does not work in his favor in most of his endings.
Some of his only friends are war criminals.
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lewisvinga · 1 month
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down bad | lewis hamilton x fem! reader
summary; just lewis being an absolute simp for his wife on the main
fc; stenss on ig
warnings; ?
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3
note; requested ! lewis the loml
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, and others !
yourusername: when bae calls me a star girl
lewishamilton: oh my 😍😍😍😍😍
lewishamilton: absolutely love this look and i love you
yourusername: love youuuuuu🫶
lewishamilton: just the prettiest girl ever 🥰
yourusername: 🥹👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
username: me n the bad bitch i pulled by being a simp
username: SIMP LEWIS!
username: lewis is so me😭
username: TUTORIAL PLS QUEEN🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
yourusername: this friday 😇
username: pink blush girlies rise !!
username: this is how my makeup turns out in my head but not irl
carmenmmundt: gorgeous gorgeous !!!
yourusername: thank uuu carm 🤍🤍
username: this is my mother
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lewishamilton uploaded to their story !
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[caption 1; the wife demanded matcha today] [caption 2; 😍😍😍😍]
yourusername i didn’t demand i politely asked 🙎‍♀️🙎‍♀️
lewishamilton ‘lew let’s go get matcha now if you say no i’m divorcing you😛’
yourusername ‘TWAS A JOKE😒
yourusername tysm for my iced oat milk matcha latte husband 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
lewishamilton whatever wifey wants wifey gets🙄👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
yourusername happy wife happy life am i right 😁
yourusername speaking of let’s go shopping
lewishamilton knew you’d want that, don’t worry, i made an appointment at hermes 😁
yourusername u know how to make a girl happy lewis hamilton 😖😖
username GIVE ME UR GAME CARD
username Y/NNNNN
username ask her where she got the tights plz
lewishamilton tezenis:)
username OMG???
username her fits are always on point omg
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yourusername uploaded to their story !
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[caption 1; the husband picking out a pink shopping outfit, is this a sign for what i think it is?] [caption 2; all good things come in orange boxes right?😁 thank you so much, my luv lewishamilton 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🩷]
lewishamilton if the wife says she wants a birkin 25 in sakura then a birkin 25 in sakura is what she’ll get 😁😁
yourusername I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON YOU WANTED ME TO WEAR PINK!!!😩
yourusername crying ilysm i already have so many outfits planned 🥹
lewishamilton and i can’t wait to see what your amazing mind comes up with 🤍
username why am i shocked abt a birkin like that man isn’t a millionaire
username i need my own lewis hamilton 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
yourbestfriend GIRLK IM SCREAMING FOR YOUU😫😍
yourbestfriend THATS BEEN ON UR WISHLIST FOR AGES
yourusername I KNOWW😩
yourusername it helps when ur man is the lewis hamilton n an absolute simp😋
yourbestfriend does he have friends 🤨🤨🤨
yourusername no why does he need friends when he has me 🙄( HIS WIFE )
yourusername jk yes🤓
yourbestfriend we all know lewis would only hang out w u if given the chance 😭
yourusername husband tingz 😇😇
username lewis is so husband material im crying
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by lewishamilton, yourbestfriend, and others !
yourusername: get yourself a man who hates driving so much but refuses to let you drive.
tagged; lewishamilton
username: here before simp lewis
lewishamilton: can’t ever get over your beauty, my love 😍😍
yourusername: skdkslkd stop making blush
lewishamilton: your only worry is to just sit there and look pretty, not driving
yourusername: GET URSELF A MAN LIKE THIS LADIES🥰👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
username: IM TRYINGGGG
username: y/n won the jackpot fr
username: OKAY BUT HER FIT??😫
username: mommy? sorry, mommy? sorry 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
username: outfit ateeeee
username: y/n and lewis are such fashionable couples i love them 😫😫
yourbestfriend: where u find him fr
yourusername: turns out pretending to be lost in monaco works but if you actually end up lost:/
yourbestfriend: BET
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by yourusername, alexandrasaintmleux, and others !
lewishamilton: happiest of birthdays to my sweetest girl. forever grateful that i get to call the most gorgeous woman on this earth my wife. may this day be filled with many blessings. i love you so much, pretty girl. 🤍
tagged; yourusername
yourusername: YOU ARE MY BLESSING🥹🥹
yourusername: i love u sm , lew ☹️🩷
lewishamilton: love you , pretty girl 🩷
username: i’m so sick rn
username: sleeping on the highway tonight 🚶‍♀️
username: idk how many ‘me n who’ i got left in me😭😭
username: MOTHERS BDAY!!🎉🎉
username: screaming crying throwing up
username: SHES SO FAIRYYY
alexandrasaintmleux: happy birthday 🌸 so excited to be in the ferrari garage with you next year🤍
yourusername: thank u alexxx🥹🥹 so excited too🫶
charles_leclerc: it means ditch the pink for red 😇
lewishamilton: hey, my wife can do whatever she wants 🙄
charles_leclerc: i’ll get roscoe and leo matching outfits 😇
yourusername: DEAL!
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by lewishamilton, yourbestfriend, and others.
yourusername: advice of the day; marry a man who is down bad for you
tagged; lewishamilton
lewishamilton: that makeup look of yours 😍😍🥰🥰
yourusername: i think u liked it bc we went shopping after but i’m not sure tho 😋
lewishamilton: how can i not be so down bad for you? my own wife?? a living and breathing goddess???
yourusername: LEWWWKSNDSKKD
yourusername: says the walking god😩 i won’t say much bc there are children here
landonorris: tysm for saving me
username: i will never get over them
username: my roman empire is y/n and lewis 🥹
username: thank u y/n for lewis content 🫡🫡
username: lewis js like me fr bc if i was married to y/n, i’d so be down bad for her too😩
username: him carrying the hermes, chanel, and cartier bags, IM SICK😖😖😖😖
username: not her winning the lottery omfs
yourbestfriend: does he have spare $$$?
yourusername: yes we found a bday gift for u from chanel pookie don’t worry👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
yourbestfriend: THANK U MR N MRS HAMILTON😭😭🙏🙏🙏🫶
lewishamilton: 🫡🫡🫡
username: he’s so down bad he buys y/n’s best friend chanel, why can’t my friends work harder fr 😒😒
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lovebugism · 5 months
Note
how abt eddie x shy reader , she meet’s wayne accidentally & she brings like sm food for the week he LOVES HER but shes so shy
a request deep from the archives that i haven't stopped thinking about since i got it hahah please enjoy xoxo — you spend a fluffy morning in with the munsons (established relationship, fluff, 1.2k)
bug's one year celebration ♡
Eddie rouses from his sleep like a king on a sunken-in couch. 
Saturday morning cartoons play on the TV just ahead of him, mostly on mute ‘cause you’ve got the radio going in the kitchen. Something soft and soulful and too low for him to hear. The trailer swells with the scent of something sweet, of syrup and cooked sugar. 
Speaking of sweet…
His flushed cheek rubs against the arm of the couch when he looks up to find you. He can see you just over the top of the counter, like a scene from a movie. You’ve got a bowl of something wedged in your elbow, and you stir at it with your free hand — half-distracted because your nose is stuck in an open recipe book on the counter. Your glasses fall slowly down your nose. You try to push them up again with your shoulder, but they slip back down a second later.
Your gentle humming fills his ears, and Eddie figures this is what heaven must be like. There’s no greater nirvana than this.
He rises and stretches and walks the very short distance to the kitchen. Still warm with sleep, he wraps himself around you, chest flush to the expanse of your back. “Whatcha doin’?” he lilts, muffled into your sweater.
“Cookin’,” you answer in the same tone, only softer and a little more sheepish.
Eddie breathes hard once. You think you feel him smiling. “Dumb question, huh?”
“Did you sleep good?” 
“Too good to be passed out on the couch for an hour.” He lifts his head to prop his chin on your shoulder. It bobs against you with every word. “You were supposed to be sleeping with me, by the way.”
“I tried. But then I wanted to make you breakfast.”
“Correction. You wanted to make Wayne breakfast.”
Your giggling is as soft and sweet as the cinnamon concoction you’re stirring at. “Well, I don’t want either of you to starve, actually. So sorry for making sure the Munson’s are taken care of.”
Eddie’s chest swells. His heart starts to warm so much he’s scared it might burst. He tucks his face back into your neck and holds you tighter. “Don’t apologize, sweet thing. ‘M just being stupid.”
“That nickname’s not gonna stick, Eds,” you tease, tilting your head until your cheek meets his wild hair. “You can stop trying now.”
He scoffs and pulls back from you. His eyes, still softly swollen with sleep, are wide and glittering. “Why not?” he shouts, a bit too loudly to be so close to your ear. “You’re sweet and you’re my thing— it’s literally the perfect nickname.”
“You’re thing?” you echo with a distant laugh. “I’m not a toy, Eds.”
“Not all the time—” His boyish giggling is followed by a scoffed breath when you elbow him with your free arm. You shove him away halfheartedly, pushing him out of the tiny kitchen. “What?!” he exclaims, laughing loudly.
“Get out of the kitchen!”
“What’d I do?”
“My french toast tastes good ‘cause it’s made with love, and you’re tainting it.”
“How? I love you more than anything in the whole wide world.” He gravitates back to you despite your efforts to keep him away. He plants a smacking kiss to your lips and grins wide when he pulls away. “See? Now it’ll taste extra sweet.”
You’re glaring at him one moment, then happily accepting another one of his kisses the next.
The front door opens, squealing in protest and rushing in the cool morning air. It’s unsurprisingly Wayne. His work boots stomp heavy on the carpet. He holds a greased hand over his forehead. “My eyes are still closed,” he jokes, voice deep and gravelly. “You two have about three seconds to stop touchin’ each other.”
Eddie scoffs but steps back from you anyway. “That was one time!” he argues boyishly. “And we weren’t even doing anything!”
Wayne laughs a sharp breath, just like Eddie had, but a little bit gruffer. He forgoes the petty banter and shoots you a smile — tightlipped, barely-there, and weighed down by the exhaustion of the graveyard shift. “How ya doin’, sweetpea?”
“Good,” you answer, shrinking into your shyness. “I’m makin’ french toast.”
“That’s my favorite,” the older man grins. “How’d you know?”
“‘Cause it’s my favorite,” Eddie insists.
“It’ll be done soon,” you tell him, all quiet in your sheepishness. “If you wanna get changed or whatever.”
Wayne heads to the hallway, stopping short in the kitchen to muss at Eddie’s curls and pat you gently on the shoulder. “Thank ya, sweetpea,” he murmurs, voice dripping with fatigue. His accent always gets real heavy when he’s tired.
“You’re welcome…”
Eddie doesn’t say anything until he hears the bathroom door shut. “So Wayne can call you sweetpea, but I can call you sweet thing?” he asks, features swirled with offense.
“It’s different!”
The boy follows you to the cabinets like a lost puppy. Then, when you have trouble reaching the vanilla extract on the top shelf, he leans over you to grab it. “No, you just have favorites,” he argues, passing you the small container.
“That’s not true!”
“Whatever,” he grumbles, still pouting as he leans against the counter beside you. He mourns the lack of your attention when you give it all to the french toast mixture on the counter. You spoon in the vanilla with a practiced touch. “…Are you staying over again tonight?” he mutters, shier than you are now.
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “If it’s okay with Wayne, then—”
“Wayne! Sweet thing’s staying the night— is that okay?” Eddie shouts before you can blink. The trailer rings with the volume of his voice.
“Eddie,” you scold quietly.
The bathroom door squeaks open. A grunt sounds from the hallway, a nonverbal answer you’re not totally sure what to make of. The man returns in the pajamas he pulled from the hall closet — a thin t-shirt older than Eddie is and a pair of plaid pants.
“I’ll make dinner before your shift tonight,” you tell him with a soft grin that neither of the Munsons can say no to. “I promise.”
Wayne makes another scoffing sound. A laugh, maybe. A smile hints at the corner of his bearded mouth as he pours himself a coffee across the counter — in the painted mug Eddie made him for Father’s Day, several years ago now. 
“Well— In that case, I’m afraid I have to insist on you stayin’, sweet pea.”
“Thanks, Mr. Munson.”
“Call me Wayne,” he tells you, playfully chiding in a parental sort of way. He gives you a pointed look over the cup he sips from and heads back towards the living room. “You’re feedin’ us too good to be so polite all the time.”
You smile to yourself and laugh a quiet, slightly forced laugh.
The sofa squeaks when Wayne settles onto it, sprawling out the same way Eddie had before. Too tired to reach for the remote on the coffee table, he watches He-Man re-runs with heavy eyelids.
“Alright, sweet thing— what do you need me to do?” Eddie asks with a clap of his hands, making a very pointed effort not to drop the nickname. You get all flustered when he calls you that — smiling softly to yourself and then ducking your gaze to hide it from him. You’ll have to pry the name from his cold, dead hands.
You turn to peer at him from beneath your lashes. “You dip the bread, and I’ll fry ‘em?”
“Sounds like a plan, sweet thing.”
“Eddie.”
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thechy-fychannel · 2 months
Text
I saw a few other blogs doing this so I thought I'd share my input on what I think would happen in the House MD universe in 2024:
the constant jokes abt house and wilson's relationship turns into the fellows jokingly writing fanfic abt their boss and his boy best friend. somewhere along the way they all get very serious abt the quality of it and it turns into a Whole Thing, a 150k+ novel that they vow to take to their graves.
house discovers the fic by accident and sends it to wilson. wilson discovers things abt himself and then he and house discover each other shortly thereafter.
house purposefully posts the fic online and credits the fellows by their entire full names so it embarrasses them more than house and wilson. It's never spoken abt again but it gets way more online attention than any of them expected.
wilson doesn't get how the Cloud works and accidentally uploads his and house's nudes to the google nest hub on his desk. He doesn't notice it until one of his sweet little old lady cancer patients points it out to him during their appointment. He throws the google nest hub into his trash can until he can figure out how to get the naked pictures off of it.
house has an alexa and abuses the hell out of it. sometimes ppl hear him screaming at someone in his office, only to walk in and find a robotic voice replying with "sorry, I didn't get that" and house throws it off the balcony.
wilson gets addicted to online shopping. house has to stage an intervention bc they do not have enough room in their closet for another pair of prada loafers and their kitchen is full of shitty gadgets that wilson bought off temu or something.
some right wing social media influencer comes in with a mysterious illness and ends up getting castrated as part of the solution. 13 personally does the procedure herself and house watches like a proud dad.
a patient reveals chase's grindr by shoving his phone at him and asking "is this you?" abt the headless profile with the ripped abs that says Dr. Feel Good, 0 feet away, in front of the rest of the team.
foreman finds the team doing tiktok dances bc house told them to learn it in order to understand their 15 yr old patient better.
chase medically murders mitch mcconnel and the entire hospital celebrates ding dong the witch is dead style.
there's a whole episode where house faces his transphobia bc of a trans patient that he connects with. the patient tells him to fuck off and go face his own problems instead of pretending to make it right by being nice to one trans person. And house does, even if he's not perfect, he really tries to do better.
13 gets her medical marijuana card and accidentally becomes the team's plug. her main customer is wilson who still supplies it to certain terminal patients. She hears "hey, can I hit your pen?" at least four times a day.
foreman buys a tesla and it blows up in the parking lot. they spend the entire episode trying to figure out who tried to kill foreman, but it turns out that teslas just do that sometimes.
there's an episode where house finds out that netflix is removing his favorite obscure tv show that ran for 2 seasons in 2002 and wilson recruits the team to hunt down a dvd copy of it without house finding out. they somehow manage to find one and spend a ridiculous amount of money on it, only to open the dvd case and find a copy of the porno wilson starred in that one time instead of the dvd of the show. park saves the day at the last minute by finding a copy of it in a box of dvds in her parents house.
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arminsumi · 8 months
Text
"what if nanami saw you like this?"
💗 hubby!GOJO さとる
note : feral trashy smut 🫡
summary : just a thought abt hubby gojo punishing u for flirting with his coworker nanami at a work party...! :(
warnings : 🔞 minors dni/dnr, smut, toys, fingering, spanking, pussy slapping, dirty talk abt cheating on him w nanami, talk abt threesome w nanami, namecalling (sl*t), kinda mean/cold n condescending hehe, some roughness, dirty talk, edging, not proofread expect lotsa errors oopsie!!, not rlly plot just horny
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juuust envision this 😩 it's been a long night out, you attended a party with your husband and his work team... and then he suddenly glareddddd when u giggled a little too hard at nanami's uncharacteristically dirty joke.
so ur husband snaked a possessive hand round ur waist and rasped annoyedly, "i think we'll be heading home early."
and the poor man... he drove home with gritted teeth and a boner poking in his pants.
gojo pushed you into the penthouse with a roughness that made you giggle like a brat... and you kept giggling until he pinned into the bed and kissed u roughly... n that's how u know he meant business. he was pissed off abt smth. u had no idea what!! :( and he just said "panties off, bend over my lap. now. i won't repeat myself."
anddd jumpcut to satoru spanking u while u have a vibrator stuffed so deep inside ur sloppy cunt....
his hands are big, leaving stinging slap after slap, each one harder and meaner and done with more conviction than the last. he makes ur body jolt forward a little. he's admiring the sight of your pussy clenching around the pink toy, relishing in the sound of it buzzing in your leaky hole.
he's refused you his dick for a whole hour now, just occasionally toying the vibrator into your tight squishy pussy and playing with the settings. he's such a child when it comes to using toys on you, he laughs at how weak you become just from some buzzing silicone.
He grabs its handle and grinds it in deeper, cooing into your ear about how you dont deserve to cum because youve been a bad girl, and then getting you close to orgasm just to rip the toy out of your pulsing cunt and plant a harsh slap to your stinging ass.
"nah-uh, no cumming. you hold it in." he seethes. he's not playful or sweet or kind when he's determined to punish his pretty little wife.
and his idea of punishment alwayssss involves edging you until youre nearly crying, sobbing from pleasure. if you try help yourself reach climax with your own hands? oh he'll smack them away and chew you out about it. that's his pussy, he likes to remind you, not yours.
"i told you not to go around flirting with nanami, didn't i? yeah, i did warn you, hm?"
"i wasn't flirtinggg" you whine, "i swear!"
"aw... seems like the only thing telling me the truth is your pussy. i'm sure it's just dying to get stuffed up with nanami's dick, right? you want him to pound you into the bed 'till you break? mmm... but he's a bigggg boy... d'you really think you could take it... hm? you'd probably cry. aw, yeah... i know... you'd just love to fuck around with him, wouldn't you? yeah, you'd just fucking love that, you god damn slut. you'd want us to share your body..."
he's so cold and condescending. and he knows it makes your clit buzz. satoru's not entirely opposed to a threesome with his coworker, actually, he gets off to the idea of you struggling to take his cock.
"this is where you're sensitive, right?" he sharply taps his palm against your pussy, making sure your tiny clit felt the collision. he bullies your pussy with his big hand, sinking his fingers in and out as he pleases, slapping your ass and cupping your gushing pussy.
"such a sloppy fucking mess... all from a little spanking 'n sweet talk? my my... what if nanami saw you like this..." he's knuckle deep, pressing his fingertips into your sweet spot and slowly massaging it.
"... i think he'd help me plug up those holes... give you a good, thorough punishment... hm~?"
he feels you start to shake, and that's when he fucks his fingers hard into your hole. you're split open, feeling his palm flattening against and squishing your pussy, squishing your little clit, making it buzz with subtle friction as he pumps his fingers inside.
"listen to that..." he rasps, pumping his fingers into your hole faster just to embarrass you with the loud, nasty squelching sound. "fuckkkk.... listen... listen to how nasty your pussy sounds for your husband..."
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lubilli · 11 months
Text
𝗸𝗻𝘆 𝗵𝗰𝘀 ➠ "cutie!"
synopsis: the hashira men when you call them cute/a cutie
ft. rengoku, giyu, sanemi, obanai, muichiro, tengen
warnings: they're all softies here 💔
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r. kyojuro
• he was training while you were watching
• "you're doing so well, kyojuro!"
• he was all blushy cuz u complimented him
• he's used to compliments but it just felt different when you did it
• maybe bc you never really compliment anyone
• and maybe bc he has a praise kink
• "awww, kyojuro, you're such a cutie!" you squealed when you saw the pink dusted all over his cheeks
• his brain almost short circuited
• not even joking
• he's been complimented on his looks before.
• he's been called handsome, good looking, but...cutie? that was a new one
• "kyojuro? are you okay?"
• "yes, y/n! i am completely fine!"
• he said that while his cheeks literally looked like tomatoes
t. giyu
• you just got back from a mission looking half dead
• when giyu saw you, his face literally looked like this -> 😨
• how tf did you even manage to hurt yourself this bad..
• he DEMANDS to patch up ur wounds
• that brings you to your current situation, sitting on giyu's bed while he tends to the wounds
• you winced when he got to a certain cut on your thigh, he glares at you
• "you wouldn't be in this situation if you weren't so reckless, y/n." he scolds you
• you just laugh, "you're cute, giyu."
• it takes him a while before he realizes what you said.
• "did you call me..cute?" he furrows his brows
• "yes..because you are cute."
• continues tending to your wound even though he's literally dying inside
s. sanemi
• he's so aggressive its so hard to find him in a vulnerable state
• ur literally the first hashira to see him all calm
• when he's not screaming and yelling, he's actually really cute
• he loves cooking for you
• he's doing that rn
• "is it good?" he asks
• "it's a little salty..."
• "why can't i ever get this recipe right?!"
• he's so frustrated
• he's tried to cook this one recipe 5 times now but there's always a little too much of a certain ingredient
• you chuckle at his reaction & ruffle his hair
• "you're really cute, y'know?"
• wtf did u just say
• did u just call him cute...
• "WHAT'D YOU JUST CALL ME?!"
• those manic eyes found their way back onto his face
• he's yelling at you but you can see the pink dusted all over his cheeks
• you started calling him cute more often
• acts like he hates it but he literally loves it sm
i. obanai
• you started getting close to him recently
• you found out he actually really likes poetry
• you'll just be sitting under/on a tree and he'll be reading his lil poetry books while you're just dreaming
• you think its so cute when he shows you lil poems he really likes
• "this one reminds me of you" he points to a poem on a page
• you shift your attention from the clouds to his book
• it reads, "A faint clap of thunder,
Even if rain comes or not,
I will stay here,
Together with you."
• bro.
• you died
• why is he so cute sometimes
• scratch that, he's always cute bro
• you smiled so big, "you're really cute, obanai."
• you moved a strand of his long hair and tucked his behind his ears, seeing his beautiful heterochromatic eyes.
• he looked at you with so much love bro
• "cute?" he tilted his head
• "yes, so cute."
• he's a mess but he just nods and continues his reading
• although he literally can't focus bc ur now the only thing on his mind
t. muichiro
• you don't know how you even got close to him
• but he will NOT go cloud-watching without you now
• takes you to his favorite spot
• he just talks abt the clouds while you mess around with his hair
• sometimes braiding it, sometimes doing pigtails or ponytails
• "woah," he stares into the sky with awe
• "what happened?" you ask
• "that cloud looks like a turtle." he pointed
• you looked at it and it really did look like a turtle
• "oh and look, that one looks like a heart." he pointed somewhere else
• wtf hes so cute
• "so cute," you squish his cheeks
• he looks at you dumbfounded
• takes him 4-5 business days to process what you just said
• when he realizes his cheeks flushed pink
• he's literally never felt this before
• wtf type of witchcraft did u put on him
• you tilt your head, "what's wrong, muichiro?"
• "i don't know, but my cheeks and ears feel really warm."
• you laugh, "you really are cute, muichiro." you ruffle his hair.
u. tengen
• you and tengen are close friends
• his estate is like your second house
• started getting close to u bc ur flashy in his eyes
• then he got sent on a few missions with you and your bond grew even more
• anyways you were in tengen's estate rn
• "tengen," you frown
• "hm?"
• "my stomach hurts."
• he frowns, "should i get you a heating pad? do you want water? medicine? chocolate? massage?"
• you smile, "its fine. no need."
• "yes need. i'm not gonna let you endure your pain, y/n. that's very unflashy." he crosses his arms
• "you're such a cutie, tengen."
• he lifts a brow, "cutie? yes, i suppose being a cutie is very flashy." he nods. "now, tell me what you want—heating pad, chocolate, medicine, water, or massage?"
• "you're so stubborn." you shake your head, "but a chocolate sounds nice."
• "done deal. stay here and i'll get you some."
• he came back w some delicious ass chocolate
• "call me that more often. its very flashy."
• "call you what?"
• "cutie."
• you smile, "your wish is my command." you took a bite of the chocolate.
• he pat your head, "get well soon."
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