Tumgik
#the problem with hell is that the people who are scared of it are never the evil ones
puppyeared · 6 months
Text
if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
56 notes · View notes
Text
Homelessness should be illegal in the winter. And by illegal I don't mean people get arrested for sleeping in tent cities or begging on the streets. I mean it should be considered a massive fucking embarrassment for any place to have any member of it's population struggling to survive the elements because they can't afford a place to live. It is fucking cold outside! Shame on every politician who refuses to lift a finger in aid of the people they are meant to serve and a thousand years in hell for those who actively work to destroy the lives of homeless people.
22 notes · View notes
hearties-circus · 4 months
Text
Oh g-d I've been withdrawing
#gamer txt.#i keep typong up posts and tags and delstinv them withoit thinking too much about it recentlu but k never usually dp that#theyve all been needy and attention seeking and thats why i was eriting them in the first place but thats ehy i keep deleting them#because i want attention#and that scares tge hell out of me#how bad do i have to be to be this desperate for some sort of contact yet this scared of losing everyone eho moght give it to me#why am u rhis scared of people thinking im annoying ive been feleting needy posts for months thats not . like me#even when im bad im usually better than that i dont. i dont understand ahy this is different#hell i relapsed a few months ago and i couldnt bring myself to even say i cut myself again outright bc i didnt want to be bother#since when the hell have i put up the illusion of being ok on this blog why am i so comcerned#are my trust issues really that bad? am i really that worried everyone who cares about me will fold the second i inconveniene them?#g-d thats. yeah fuck no wonder my friends were insulted when i gave them a 6/10 for 'ppl i would talk to if i had issues'#that is insulting#and whats worse is that its a lie#6/10 should be over half i should tell them my problems about half of the time#i dont do it. ever#and usually thats not too bad because i unload wverything here anyways but now ive stsrted stopping kyself frkm doi g thst#i want help and attention and to stop being so svared but im too scared to ask for those#i had to drag myself out of bed to make rhis post bc if i left it till morning i wouldnt do kt#also thats why all the typos btw no glssses its dark and i stsrted crying at some point#i dont know if its just how ive been feeling lateky or if theres some truth to it but i feel like my text posts have been getting seen less#im honestly kinda really twrrified im gonna wake up and no one will have seen this post and im just gonna pretend to be ok#bevause i would i think i would really just give up#i dont know what gl do#ive never been this scaredwithout a discernable cause before#ive stsrted cryung way harder andb u dont even know why#i think i think thats more or lees everything off my chest#im gonna try to sleep
4 notes · View notes
gender-euphowrya · 1 year
Text
huge dev update my grandma is gonna see a psychologist
#pogchamp#finally i don't have to play that role i'm not trained or mentally stable enough to handle anymore#she should have gotten therapy DECADES AGO sis lost both her children through tragic circumstances and had a miserable childhood#she didn't because her generation just worked like that ig and i'm not blaming her for not going but i am GLAD she will now#hopefully it works out she So needs it she's got so much on her mind and super bad anxiety#honestly i'm proud of her for even considering it because she used to dismiss the thought with 'eh at my age it's too late'#plus if she sees my psych i can make the trip with her no problem#And i already know him really well so if she's got any questions about what he's like i can answer those ez#honestly he's the first and only psychologist i've been to but he's Brilliant#super respectful super invested in his patients' well being will never pry too far will never make you feel wrong or blamed#absolutely Nailed handling my coming out has a lot of experience with all kinds of people nice and calming and friendly as hell#i hope it's not an issue that i'm seeing him too like idk if they have some sort of thing where#seeing members of a same family could interfere or something#i don't think so that doesn't seem quite right but who knows ???#anyway So glad for her i really hope she can feel better with this#even if it's just talking to someone about all her thoughts and her fears it's already such a big step to start feeling better#because like. she talks to me but she doesn't say Everything y'know. especially stuff about my transition#she's scared she'd hurt or upset me so she keeps a lot to herself and she just ruminates on it all day long#her brain doesn't have a single second of rest and she worries about Everything#example. she was anxious because her apartment has a bathtub but no shower so she's only been able to wash from the sink#they're going to install a shower soon and she was happy because Finally she's gonna be able to wash herself fine#but now she's anxious about the construction and how she's gonna arrange her furniture and her water consumption#a problem solved = a new problem with her#i honestly suspect she might be autistic because she's also like. very. routine-ish#like This Item Has To Be Here. i have to go to This Place on That Day at That Time#she doesn't like sitting still she doesn't really pick up on jokes and sarcasm there's just...#a LOT of unresolved things with her. she really needs help and i can't wait for her to get it
0 notes
norrizzandpia · 2 months
Note
bff reader x lando where they’re at a party maybs in monaco? pool party and stuff and the night gets messy but lando and reader stays out in the pool till late,and he becomes all clingy bc it’s getting cold and he likes reader 🥹 coz i’m a sucker for bff x lando aswell as cute smutty jealous lando,idk if you’ll be able to make something out of this but thank uuuu ☺️ xoxo
I love a good best friends to lovers
His (LN4)
Summary: When a fun pool party turns into a hurtful disaster, the only good thing to come from it is two confessions.
Warnings: wandering hands 😏, y/n’s ex, slightly jealous Lando, PROTECTIVE lando, the use of “whore” (not in an attractive way) language, major fluff at the end like i was blushing at my own writing
Note: I THINK I LOVE THIS ONE GUYS
To be honest, nobody told Y/n that her ex, David, was on the invite list. As she stood next to Max, him a rambling and blushing mess over Pietra - who was laughing with her friends in the cutest bikini across the way, Y/n tried to convince herself that her eyes were lying. There was no way in hell David was walking through the door to the backyard of whosever house Lando had dragged her to. There was no way in hell David was making eye contact with her, a sickening smile on his face as her presence greeted him. There was no way in hell David was walking toward her.
No way in hell.
Except, there was!
David’s hand squeezed the flesh of her arm as he grinned down at her, “Y/n! What’re you doing here?”
She blinked a few times, her fingers slightly denting the plastic of her cup as his sliminess seeped into her skin, “David! Lando brought me here. What about you?”
The problem with David was that he was always intimidated by Lando. Whether that was because Lando had a bigger build and had a few inches on him or because of the fact that Lando was more successful, she never could tell. However, all she knew was that one of the reasons they broke up was because of his continuous insecurity that controlled their fights over Lando. No matter how many times she reassured him or told him Lando was just a friend, David would never relent. In his mind, Lando and her were basically fucking on the side.
His eyes turned a darker shade, “Lando’s here?”
She nodded, “Yes, he got invited and had a plus one.”
David scoffed, “Oh, and you’re the plus one, I suppose.”
“Yes, she is.” Lando’s voice interrupted the conversation. His body stuck to Y/n’s side like glue, his hand around her waist, as he stared the man down. Another problem with their previous relationship - Lando and David hated each other. At first, Lando had kept an open mind to his best friend’s boyfriend, albeit he was a little standoffish, but the moment Y/n started to show up at his door - sobbing - in the middle of the night because of some bullshit David had said during a fight, Lando was immediately turned off.
Lando was always protective over the people he loved, attentive and caring to its fullest potential. But, with Y/n, there had always been an inherent need to be there for her through everything from the moment he met her. The way he was with her stood out among the rest. They could try and explain the deep connection away with certain things they shared in common, they had tried, but everybody knew.
David’s chest puffed up higher, not enough to scare Lando though, “Lando.”
Each syllable drenched in a need to exert dominance, David’s words made the McLaren Driver glance down at the girl tucked under his arm. His eyes, the ones she could always read, asked for her to trust him. She always would. She smiled back at him.
With the reassurance, Lando’s hand came to rest dangerously low on her back, “Is there anything more you need to say to my girlfriend?”
She did trust him, just didn’t expect that to come out of his mouth. Her fingers almost ripped through the cup in her hands as her firm hold continued.
David’s eyes bulged, “Girlfriend?!”
From some place deep within herself, one she had never met before, Y/n nodded feverishly, “Yeah, we got together a few months ago.”
Lando’s body leaned into her and it all began to feel… comfortable. They would never address it, but there was always some sort of unspeakable tension between them that made hangouts and interactions a bit intense and awkward, too much for people who were supposed to be the closest of friends. For once, as their hands were allowed to sit nicely on places they had been too aware of every time they touched each other, that sense of heightened uncertainty was completely gone.
Replaced was warm palms.
A soft smile plastered on Lando’s face was quickly gone the moment David laughed, “Oh, I saw this coming for ages.” His gaze, dangerous and angry, shifted to Y/n and Lando almost moved his entire body in front of her. Honestly, he wished he had as David mumbled in her direction, “Whore.”
Max, sipping on his drink off to the side, choked as he watched Lando’s entire body tense up. His arm, that was once wrapped around his “girlfriend”, very quickly came to clutch the man’s shirt, shoving him harshly.
“What’d you say?!” Lando said, right in his face as Pietra came to pull Y/n away. The two girls held hands tightly as the entire party’s attention was turned toward the spectacle that was Y/n’s ex-boyfriend and her speculated new one.
David’s face went pale, “Nothing.”
Lando pushed him away once more, slapping his chest harshly before pointing a finger in his face, “Say that about her again and I will make your life a living hell, I swear to God.”
David coughed out an apology to which Lando spit on his shoes and said, “Say it to her not me, dick.”
Her eyes caught his as he stuttered it out, pure fear etched into them - something she had never seen before. He was always eager to make her feel scared during an argument. It was weird to see him in the same position he had put her in multiple times before.
When he stumbled away, out the same door he had come from twenty minutes before, Lando stopped being concerned with the cameras around him, waltzing right up to his Y/n and holding her head in his hands. He whispered, “You good?”
She nodded, leaning into his hands as he began to lead her into the house. She knew it was his friend’s house, but she didn’t expect for him to know the complete layout of it when he brought her to the kitchen so effortlessly.
She looked around, “I’m not hungry.”
He nodded, shrugged, “I know, but I thought we could hide out in here while everyone filters out.”
Her head peeked around the corner and, sure enough, the guests who were once lingering around the pool in the back were now scurrying through the door.
Lando chuckled, “Guess David’s a downer.”
An hour later, dinner ingested and everybody gone, Y/n found herself back in the backyard. Her body laid against the concrete of the pool as she stared at the place where David had been, calling her names, an hour and a half before. It hurt to think about, wonder if that’s what he had genuinely thought of her throughout their relationship. Nobody knew that it all got to her, the comments under Lando’s posts about her being something entertaining for him and the others on Twitter talking about the same things David had muttered before, but it did. No matter how much she tried to make it seem as though she knew those claims were ridiculous, a part of her did, she had gradually begun to internalize it all, creating a deep sore spot.
Nobody knew.
Well, except for him.
Lando’s footsteps pattered against the cold ground before they begun splashing around as he submerged himself in the water. She turned around to see him, one arm hanging on to the edge of the pool while the other wadded in the water. He smiled at her as he begun swimming toward her, coming to rest skin-to-skin right next to her.
He looked on at the spot she was so infatuated with before whispering, “You know what he said was completely wrong, right?”
All she could do was nod, her voice would not be convincing. She knew that. Lando knew that and that’s why his arm creeped around her torso, holding her close.
His mouth was right next to her ear, “It’s not true, Y/n.”
There was a deep sincerity in his words that hit her heart hard, prompting her fingers to trail up his arm before clutching his shoulder. Her head turned, their faces inches apart, and she smiled, “Thank you.”
His body fell further into the water as he let go of the edge, pulling her flush against him right after. He was gentle in his touches as he guided her legs to wrap around him, continuing to hold her waist as her arms wrapped around his neck. A dark, starry sky above them illuminated the twinkle in Lando’s eye. One Y/n found hard to explain away.
He pushed the wet hair out of her face, “He didn’t know what he had.”
Her fingers traced and memorized the sharpness of his cheekbones, “Are you saying you do?”
Her question, however bold, opened their friendship up. For once, one of them was giving the other the opportunity to confess whatever had manifested throughout the time they’d spent together.
She could see it in his eyes, the hesitation and fear in moving into that space with her. Sure, they had been uncomfortable together before, but this was different. This was an opening for something that could make or break them.
This was life or death to Lando.
Though, by the way she smiled at him, he knew he would be stupid, wrong her like David had, if he continued to sweep it all under the rug, “Yes.”
Her hands stopped moving about his face, instead cradling it, “What does that mean, Lan?”
Her question made his heart stop, the moment it all came down to, “Y/n, I hated seeing you with him. I hated seeing you with all of them. I couldn’t stand to see you hanging onto someone else’s arm. It made my skin crawl. And, today, when I got to be the guy that had you under his arm, especially when I got to look your satanic ex-boyfriend in the eye and tell him you were mine, nothing felt better than that. I’ve always known what I had when it came to you. I just wish you would let me show that.”
Her hands tangled in his hair as he continued to hold her, his feet stabilizing them as he stood in the pool. She exhaled a breath, took a moment to think, before leaning closer, “I never said you couldn’t.”
Even in the cold of the night, his face warmed with a tinge of redness. He squeezed her lightly, allowing a moment of silence to pass as they looked at each other before whispering back, “It’s chilly out here.”
Her giggling warmed his body, “Lan, what does that have to do with any of this?”
His hand moved delicately up her back before resting on the nape of her neck, pulling her lips closer, “I’m thinking a kiss or two might warm us up.”
She smiled again and her thumb rubbed against his jawline, “Oh, I got it. I love that idea.”
Max and Pietra watched from the living room, hearing Lando laugh before the two were kissing in the soft light of the backyard. The couple rejoiced on the couch, jumping and down with no regard for Max and Lando’s friend yelling at them to get down. However, once he looked to see what they were screaming about, he joined them too. It felt like everyone had been waiting for this moment. The moment when Y/n and Lando realized that their friendship was never just that and the love they had for each other was never just love. It was something completely indescribable, but as long as the whispers of love they shared between kisses in that pool continued, that would feel like enough.
It sure as hell was more than enough for the smiling, blushing idiot of a Brit who was kicking himself for not telling his Y/n just how much of his she really had been all along.
1K notes · View notes
katsumiiii · 11 months
Text
hobie x fem! reader
thinking of hobie brown rn…!
hobie who knows you love the height difference between you two and uses it to his advantage. is constantly angling his head upwards, which causes him to purposely peer down at you through his thick eyelashes. you always get flustered each time he narrows his eyes and tilts his chin, and him being the ever so perceptive spider he is, takes notice of your heated cheeks and continues to do so.
whenever he’s near a doorway or a thick frame he lovesss to lay a palm on the top of it, trapping your body beneath his as you ramble on about whatever it is you’re rambling about. he makes sure to nod along while effectively moving a hand towards your plush waist, bringing your figure flush against his own. he plays with the seam of your shirt, and urges you to keep going when you stutter from the sudden change in position.
hobie who loves to annoy you with his British slang. it’s not necessarily because he uses it often that irks you, it’s the fact that you have no idea what he’s saying and he never makes an effort to help you understand. (he actually finds it amusing each time you attempt to guess what he means and is completely off base every single time).
“babe, I’d love ta get ya that shirt you’ve been beggin’ for, but I’m skint right now. try me next week, yeah?” he hummed, kicking his feet up on the railing next to your bed.
“skint? I feel like you’ve used that one before..” you muttered, huffing in irritation by the smug look on hobie’s face, his lips quirked in amusement.
“told ya what it meant last week. thought ya said you could ‘se context clues?”
“whatever bee, maybe you should speak english.”
“‘aint that what ‘m doin’?”
hobie who always has a blunt neatly rolled on his dresser, his ash tray placed gently to the left of it. he often smoked before running off to whatever it is he did when he wasn’t home (he was very unpredictable as he switched it up weekly to “fuck up consistency” whatever the hell that meant).
hobie inhaled gingerly before tilting his head towards his peeling painted ceiling, his fingers lingered tightly on the wood before lifting it to your lips, “want a go?”
you shook your head, nuzzling further into his shoulder, “mhm no, too tired.” hobie chuckled before greedily puffing the joint, shuttering at the burning feeling it left.
“suit yourself love, more for me.”
hobie who you introduce differently to your friends each time you bring him up. one day he’s your boyfriend, the next he’s your significant other, and the next he’s your ‘close friend’. they always question the constant switch ups, but you don’t ever seem to mind. you know where you stand with the man, and to him that’s all that matters.
“so what’s up with you and…..” your friend trailed off, stirring the ice in her drink.
“hobie?” you questioned.
“yeah him, so is he your boyfriend or what?”
“it’s complicated, he hates labels, makes him feel confined.” you replied, shrugging your shoulders as you lay your head on your palm.
“that doesn’t bother you? is he like scared of commitment or something?”
you scoff, lightly shaking your head, “no, he just doesn’t want to contribute to the system.” you answered bluntly, taking another sip of your lemonade.
“the system?” your friend asked, eyebrow raised at the quip.
“nevermind, don’t worry about it.”
hobie who subtly brags about you to his people. loves to show you off, and has no problem admitting he does.
“yeah bruv, my girl jus’ got into her dream fuckin’ college. been workin’ hard for that shit all year, man.” hobie boasted, pushing his hands out in order to bounce off the wall next to him.
“oh my goodness how wonderful! when do we get to meet this companion of yours?” pavitr questioned, flinging his body upwards to keep up with the male to his right.
“eh, don’t know yet, when I feel like it, yeah?”
all in all hobie is so cute and I literally am in love with him!!
6K notes · View notes
theysherobinbuckley · 11 months
Text
a little something I started but probably won't ever finish - alternate first meeting steddie! post s3, pre s4
(context: in an effort to cheer up his perpetually grumpy new neighbor, Eddie broke out his old skateboard and immediately ate shit for it. Cue Red calling none other than Steve Harrington to solve the problem...)
Red was barely in the door when Harringron turned on him, jaw clenched and fingers twitching. Having those dark eyes focused so entirely on him nearly made Eddie dizzy.
His lips were moving and- oh shit. Eddie was totally supposed to be listening.
"Uh, what?"
"What are you doing hanging around Max?"
Eddie frowned. "We're neighbors?"
"So?"
"So I'm being… neighborly? Is that illegal?"
"Neighborly is getting someone's mail while they're out of town. Not a super senior hanging around with a girl who's not even in high school yet."
"You better be fucking careful what you're accusing me of, Harrington, because to be honest, you don't look any better. Don't think I haven't heard your beemer pull up at all hours of the night. What the fuck is that about, huh? King Steve likes 'em young?"
Eddie's back hit the trailer before the last word even left his mouth. All the breath rushed out of him at once as Harrington pinned him with one arm across his shoulders.
"Don’t fucking say that," he seethed. "She's like my sister. I'm not- I wouldn't hurt her."
Eddie reached up to pat Harrington's arm placatingly, sending him as sweet a smile as he could muster.
"Hey, I believe you, man. I'm a little lost, sure, but I believe you." He sent a look to the trailer to his right. "Now can you let me down before Muriel sends Axel out to break your arm?"
Harrington followed his gaze and, upon seeing Muriel frowning from behind her curtains, dropped Eddie faster than if he'd told him he had the plague.
"We're in my kingdom now, Harrington," he said, grinning and waving in Muriel's direction. "These are my people. We take care of each other here. And Red's one of us, whether you like it or not."
Steve frowned, opened his mouth to respond, maybe even protest, but Eddie cut him off.
"I was just trying to make the kid smile, okay? So I got out my old skateboard, did a few tricks, busted my shit." He held up the ice pack he'd stolen from Red's fridge. "She called you 'cause she said you'd know what to do."
Harrington was quiet. Noticeably, he did not apologize for jostling Eddie's extremely sore wrist, but whatever.
"Did she?"
"Yeah, man, I tried to talk her out of it, but she seemed pretty confident you'd pick up. And here you are, so…"
"No, I mean- did she have fun?"
Eddie shrugged. "I mean, she didn't look as miserable as usual. Laughed a couple times when I fucked up a dismount. What's up with that, by the way? The constant dispair?"
Harrington's whole body tensed, and Eddie was almost scared he was gearing up to punch him just for asking.
"You remember Billy Hargrove?" he replied, his voice tight.
Eddie couldn't help but sneer at the mention of that piece of shit. Wayne had always taught him not to speak ill of the dead, but that didn't mean he couldn't think some choice things about him. Like the fact that he was pretty sure the guy was rotting in hell for all the things he'd said to Jeff in the school halls.
"Unfortunately. What about him?"
"He was Max's older brother. Step-brother."
"That's..."
"Fucked?" Harrington supplied. Eddie nodded. "Yeah. So I just- I need to make sure another Hargrove doesn't come around. Sorry I got all... you know. I've been told I can be kind of intense."
"No shit," Eddie laughed. "No hard feelings, I guess. Since it's in Red's best interest."
"No hard feelings," Harrington echoed. "Thanks for looking out for her."
Then, something Eddie had never even dreamed of: Harrington stuck his hand out, clearly expecting a handshake.
Huh.
It was over in a second, but Eddie's hand burned where Steve's had been.
"No problem. I'm kind of the park babysitter," Eddie replied. "Part of the job description."
Harrington lit up at that.
"I babysit too! Max and a few of her friends. 'S why I'm always around. I'm usually playing chauffeur for one of the other gremlins."
"That makes more sense than you having a torrid love affair with Susan."
"Yeah, she's not really my type," Harrington said with a smirk.
Eddie watched in shock as Harrington's eyes slowly, deliberately dipped up and down his form.
Talk about fucking whiplash. Eddie could still feel Harrington's strong arm against his chest, the brush of Harrington's nose against his own, the heat of Harrington's breath on his face. And now the king was checking him out?
"I see. Not into MILFs?"
Eddie was in the middle of making plans to staple his big stupid mouth shut when Harrington laughed.
"I'm more into brunettes."
And boy, didn't that seem pointed.
3K notes · View notes
eddiesxangel · 2 months
Text
I Don’t Think We Are In 1986 Anymore? | Eddie Munson x Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Participating in the Stranger Prompts directly from the Twilight Zone. Created by @bettyfrommars @allthingsjoeq @somnambulic-thing 🖤
Choose a prompt from the list, add in your choice of Eddie or Steve, and spin the story however you like!
Combining two prompts bc why not ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
1.He shows up at your house covered in mud in the rain, but the problem is, he died two months ago
11. You find a man hiding in your house, and he says he’s from another dimension.
cw: Mentions of Eddie's death (dw he ain't dead) and his injuries from the upsidedown.
wc: 2.3k
1986
It had been two months since the events of Vecna ensued. There was a memorial for the friends and families of the victims who suffered the gruesome death caused by the supernatural creature. Unfortunately, Eddie Munson was still considered to be the culprit and did not get the chance to defend himself against the wrath of the people of Hawkins.
Only those who knew Eddie in the end stood at his grave site, unable to retrieve his body; they mourned the loss of their friend at an empty grave.
Eventually, life moved on, and his friends kept his spirit alive by regularly talking about him and the stories of Eddie the Banished turning into Eddie the Brave. They never would let one another forget the events of that fatal night...
2024
You were just getting out of the shower, walking into your bedroom to get ready for your work day. It was about 6:39am. Your usually morning routine as going to plan, you were about to pick out an outfit before sitting to dry your hair.
That was before you were almost frightened half to death. A blood-curdling scream left your throat when you saw a young man covered in dirt and filth crouched in your closet.
He screamed back in return, being more scared about what was happening to him that you seemed to understand.
Eddie had gone through literal hell, and back that had left him emotionally and physically drained. He found himself waking up back in the real world, unsure of how he'd gotten there. Looking around, he realized he was in a place resembling his hometown of Hawkins, but something was off.
He was in immense pain and covered with his own blood, demobat blood and dirt… lots of it. It was caked into his skin as he looked down at himself, it looked like he went through a mud slide. His fingers were a deep earth colour and he couldn’t tell where the blood started and the dirt stopped. He could feel the dried cracked mud covering his face. It made him think about how anyone could stand those mud masks if they made your skin feel this tight and dry.
Despite the confusion, Eddie recognized where he was. He was in the trailer park, or what used to be the trailer park. It was the same plot of land where he had lived for years. The street signs confirmed this, but there were houses instead of trailers.
As he looked around, he noticed that the tree to the west, which had always been a familiar sight, had aged considerably. Its branches were bent and twisted, and its leaves had turned a dull brown colour.
Eddie couldn't help but wonder how much time had passed since he had last been in this place. He felt uneasy, unsure of what to do next. What he did know was that he needed to get his wounds patched up, take a shower, and get some food. There was no way he was going to a hospital, so he tried his luck, and the house's back door, where his uncle's trailer use to be, was unlocked.
Eddie had no clue what time it was or what day. So he risked walking into the house, look around for any signs of life and decided to enter.
As he felt a parching thirst, he walked towards the refrigerator and opened it. Inside, he saw a clear and chilled water bottle that caught his eye and immediately reached for it. He twisted the cap open and took a few big gulps, feeling the water quench his thirst and refresh his body.
As he drank the water, his eyes wandered inside the fridge, and he spotted a shiny red apple lying on the shelf. He decided to take it, as he felt a sudden pang of hunger and knew that he needed some nutrients to boost his energy levels, not really having any since Chrissy's death a few weeks ago. It was a miracle, he didn’t starve to death let alone escape the Upsidedown.
He reached for the apple and turned it around in his hand, not bothering to wash it before he took a bite, feeling the crunch of the juicy flesh and the sweet taste of the fruit. After he ravaged the apple, Eddie spotted some packed cold cuts and some cheese. He swiped those and made his way to try and find a bathroom.
Eddie didn't have much luck on the first floor as he wandered your house, so he walked up the stairs and saw your bedroom door open. Before he could look elsewhere, he heard running water being shut off and a light hum coming from what he could only assume was the bathroom. So Eddie panicked and jumped into your closet to hide.
After a few more minutes of terrified screaming, as you stood there in nothing but your bath towel, you threatened to call the police.
"Please, no, I'm not going to hurt you, I swear! I'm innocent!"
"Innocent! You broke into my home."
"I'm sorry I was so hungry, and you have no idea the month I have had." He got up, and you flinched, stepping back and gripping your towel tighter.
As the man stood, you noticed he was limping; he had dried blood smeared on his clothes and face. He looked to be in a lot of pain.
Against your better judgment, you felt sorry for him. He looked scared and helpless, not to mention dressed peculiarly. He had a bandana wrapped around his head, covering his long hair. Guys don't have that kind of long of hair nowadays. He also wore a bulky green vest over a leather jacket—odd for the summer months? and his shoes, they were vintage.
"I should call you an ambulance or something." You mumble as you try to cover as much of your body as you can.
"No!"
He screamed, and you flinched again. You looked over to your dresser where your phone was sitting, wondering if you could get to it before this psycho kills you.
"I'm sorry, but no, no hospitals." He shakes his head; he looks like he might cry.
"But you're hurt!" you protest. Why? You don't know. You have an extreme empathy meter, and now you hate yourself for it.
"What day is it?" He changes the subject.
"Friday"
"No I mean… last I remember it was March?."
"It’s May 17th, 2024," you reiterate.
"Excuse me? I think I have dirt still in my ears. You said what now?" He chuckles uncomfortably.
"It's May."
"No, I heard that; what year is it?" He asks with a hard tone.
"Two-thousand-and-twenty-four," you sound out each syllable like it was an idiot.
"Jesus H Christ," He whispers as his doe eyes get even bigger than you thought possible.
You didn't know what to do, this guy clearly needed help and maybe a psych evaluation, but you wanted to help him. If he had wanted to murder you he would have done so already.
"What is your name?" You bravely ask.
"Eddie... uh.... Munson"
"WHAT" you scream, almost dropping your towel in shock.
"What? What's wrong? I'm innocent; I swear I didn't hurt that girl!"
"No, I know that! I know that name... But Eddie Munson died in the eighties?"
"Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but I am, in fact, Eddie Munson and very much alive... unfortunately."
"What year were you born?" Maybe this was a coincidence? Maybe, there could be two Eddie Munsons from Hawkins, Indiana, who your father never shut the fuck up about.
"1965" He answered confidently.
"You sure about that?" you question."
"You want me to go back in time to get my birth certificate?" He still can't believe he is in the year 2024, but then again he just went through a lot of stuff he still cant wrap his head around.
"No, no, it’s just you’re very young for a 59-year-old," You giggle.
"I’m not crazy!"
He looked kinda crazy
"Ok, ok, I’m sorry." Why were you apologizing?
"What year were you born?" he asks.
"1995"
"Woah." He walks over and plops himself on your vanity chair. This was too much. Eddie wanted to go home—to be clean, eat, and be with his uncle. Now, he was stuck in another dimension. The future?
You stood there and watched as the wheels in Eddie's head started to turn.
"Listen... I uh- fuck I'm absolutely insane," You mumbled to yourself. "I will let you use my shower... and I'll give you some clean clothes. I'll give you my phone to call whoever, okay?" That would be you and him sometime.
"Thank you." He signed. His shoulder dropped and he genuinely looked relieved.
You walked to your closet to get him a fresh towel and showed him to the bathroom. You also grabbed a fresh toothbrush for him. Who knows the last time he had access to a bathroom? As he stripped, you saw a very familiar, albeit ripped, logo plastered on his chest under the layers of grime.
You had to confirm with your dad what this Eddie Munson looked like. You felt like you were going crazy.
When Eddie was in the shower, you finally changed into clothes and immediately called your dad.
"Hey, Honey, what's going on?" He sounds like he was just waking up.
"I need your help!" you half scream in a whispered tone.
"Are you hurt has happened?" Your dad piped out of bed frantically.
"No, I'm okay, I need you to come here as soon as possible, its an emergency"
"Ok im coming. Do you need me to stay on the phone?"
"No, but I need you to get here as soon as possible." You bite your nail out of habit.
"Ok, ok, you're freaking me out-" You hear the jingle of keys and your mom yelling in the background "-you promise you're okay?"
"Yes, just please get here. Now," You hang up and collect Eddie's clothes and throw them into the washing machine.
Once you hang up with your dad, you call in sick to work because there is no way you're going in now. This had to be some weird fever dream. The wheels in your head were turning, and you saw Eddie emerge from the bathroom, cleaned up and no longer dark brown from being caked in blood and dirt.
Your eyes widen as you fully take in the man standing in your house. You finally recognized him; you had seen his picture plenty of times before.
"What? What is wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost?" He half smiles, and your heart swells. You can't believe what's happening, but you have to play it cool.
"Do-uh, do you need any help with uh-" You motioned to his middle; there was a nasty gash on his side; it looked irritated and swollen.
"Um, yeah, if you have any alcohol or something to clean it?"
"Ok, I should, um, you can go to my room; I left you some sweatpants that should fit and a t-shirt." You pass by him back into the bathroom to find your first aid kit.
"Uh, so I don't know if this is expired or not; let me just google how long rubbing alcohol can be opened for." you smile, picking up your phone and not giving it a second thought.
"What a Goolgle?"
This made you chuckle.
"An internet web browser," you smile, typing away.
“What’s that?” he points to your cell phone.
"A cellphone?" Maybe he was telling the truth about being from 1986?
"That’s not a cell phone." He scoffs.
"Yes it is" you giggle.
"You can call people from that thing?"
"And go online, FaceTime; it holds music, takes pictures, text, it has a flashlight, it even has a calculator." you wink.
"Face what?"
"Oh, uh. Video call… "
"Woah," Eddie was shocked.
"It can do a bunch of other stuff, but uh, let's stick to researching the life of opened-up rubbing alcohol, shall we?"
You find out that it should be safe to use, dab it on a cotton ball, and gently pat Eddie's wound, and he winces at the sting.
After a few minutes of silent concentration, you stand up with a satisfied smile.
"That should do it. Can I get you anything to eat or drink?" you motion for him to follow you, and he does as he pulls the only band shirt over his wet mop.
"Uh yeah, anything. I'll take anything." Eddie was still famished.
You get some eggs, bread, and bacon, a quick and hearty meal for him.
As the sizzle of the bacon fills the room, Eddie's stomach growls.
"It will be done soon" You smile from over your shoulder.
"Hey, um you never told me your name..."
"Oh, everyone calls me Birdie... Kinda named after my aunt." you smile.
"Nice to meet you, Birdie." He smiles, and your heart flutters a little.
Stop it right now. You scold yourself internally. What the fuck was wrong with you?
You shake off your thoughts about how attracted you are by the weird stranger sitting at your kitchen table and serve him his breakfast.
Eddie doesn't say much as he wolfs down the home-cooked meal.
"Oh god, this is so good," he moans just as you head a pounding at the door. Eddie freezes like a deer caught in headlights.
"It's not the cops, I promise." You reassure him, resting your hand on his forearm.
Before you can stand up, your dad unlocks your front door, running inside with your mom right on his tail.
"Birdie, honey!" He yells out.
"In the kitchen, Dad!"
"Dad?" Eddie looks to you.
You can no longer hold back your smile, and your dad comes running into the room, running to you, pulling you into a tight death grip of a hug, making sure you are, in fact, okay.
You lock eyes with the man sitting at your table. As your dad turns to see the not-so-stranger sitting at his daughter's kitchen table.
"Holly shit Eddie?!”
"Henderson?!"
"I'm calling Uncle Steve."
569 notes · View notes
Text
you keep his shirt, he keeps his word
Tumblr media
The strong aroma of coffee woke you up that morning. It confused you because you were absolutely sure that your coffee maker was still in a box somewhere. Opening your eyes, it only took you a matter of five seconds to realize that you weren’t in your new apartment.
You were in Carmen Berzatto’s bed.
What started off as a night where you were meeting your best friend’s work friends ended up with you in the bed of one of them.
You never did this kind of thing. You never met a guy at a bar and went back to his place.
There was just something about Carmen.
When Sydney first introduced you to him in that small bar near The Bear, you literally fell in love with his eyes. They were this beautiful shade of blue. You instantly got jealous of him because of them. How ordinary your eyes were compared to his.
You wanted to stay far away from him, scared that you’d do or say something stupid. He eventually made his way back towards you and the rest was history.
Sydney gave you a rundown before you met everyone. She informed you that Carmen was shy as hell and often kept to himself. She also said to not be offended if he did so.
It surprised you when he made his way towards you and struck a conversation. It started off a little slow but there was this unspoken connection that blossomed.
He was shy in a totally adorable way and super charming. Sydney and everyone else that worked with him on a near daily basis was shocked at how he was acting. They didn’t dare think that he’d be the guy to approach a woman and have an actual conversation.
You sat with him in the little corner of the bar and talked about everything. He wanted to know what made you move to Chicago. How you knew Sydney. What your favorite food was.
His last question surprised you, “Would you like to go back to my place?”
Your response surprised you the most, “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Fast forward to eight hours later and you were still tangled up in his sheets. You sat up and looked around for your belongings. You quickly found your phone, purse, jeans and undergarments. The shirt you wore last night was nowhere to be found.
You grabbed the first white shirt that you saw and slipped your clothes back on.
This was all new territory to you. You had no idea what you should do. Thank him for a great evening? Give him a high five? Run out without saying anything?
The door to his bedroom was cracked open. You heard the soft sounds of the radio playing.
As quietly as you could, you walked down the hallway and made your way to the main living area. You spotted Carmen in his kitchen. Shirtless.
He was at the stove. The sizzling of the pan and the smell made your stomach growl. Carmen turned to grab a plate when he saw you standing in the doorway.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” He asked you.
You nodded, “Uh, yeah I did surprisingly.”
“Why is that?”
“I’m one of those people that has a hard time falling asleep if it isn’t in my own bed.”
“I’m glad that you were comfortable enough here to where that wasn’t a problem.” He made his way towards you and tugged on your- his shirt, “Looks good on you.”
You looked down and he still had a grip on you, “I normally don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Have one night stands. Going back to a guy’s apartment after barely meeting him isn’t really my thing.” You confessed. Part of you hoped he believed you. The other part didn’t want to be ashamed if it was something that you normally did.
One night stands weren’t something to be embarrassed about. You were a single woman who could date/hook up with anyone she wanted.
“Was this just a one night kinda thing to you?” Carmen asked.
You shrugged your shoulders, “What do you think?”
You wanted him to answer before you could. It was killing you inside to figure out what he was thinking.
“I think that last night, I met a woman that I would really like to get to know better.”
You couldn’t help but smile, “Really?”
He nodded and grinned, “Yes, really. Plus, you look great in my clothes and out of them.”
“Well that was a smooth line if I ever heard one.”
“There’s plenty more of that if you stick around with me,” Carmen leaned closer and placed a sweet kiss on your lips, “I made you breakfast.”
“You’re going to spoil me, Berzatto.” You set your purse down before taking a seat at his counter. He served you a delicious looking omelette with a cup of coffee.
“I plan to do so as long as you’ll let me. I’m a man of my word.”
637 notes · View notes
flynnriderishot · 4 months
Note
hi love! could you write something about chris being mean (in a joking manner) to the reader always, but only because he doesn’t know how to deal with his real feeling of liking her, then one day, when hes being very mean and ignoring her, he angry confesses.
i hope i explained well, ly!
angry confessions - c.s
a/n: hear me out, okay? i read your request once and ran with it and when i came back to read it again i realized that i may have went a little off your original idea. i’m so sorry 😭 i hope you like it !
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
chris walked from his bedroom, his blue eyes almost immediately landing on your figure.
yours and chris’ relationship was weird. for starters: you didn’t have one.
you were extremely close with his brothers, doing nearly everything together, but you and chris never really had much of a connection.
he wouldn’t admit it out loud, but watching you and matt or even you and nick made his heart clench in jealousy. he knew that your relationship with them was completely platonic, but it rubbed him the wrong way to see you with anyone but him.
of course, he didn’t plan on telling you that. he couldn’t grasp the thought of having feelings for you. it scared him halfway to death.
you were sat on the couch with matt and nick, the three of you playing some random multiplayer game on your phones.
chris made his way to the kitchen to grab a drink, his footsteps alerting everyone of his presence.
“he’s alive.” nick spoke up.
“shut up.” chris scoffed, opening his pepsi before moving to sit with you guys.
just before he sat down, his hand lifts to playfully swat at the back of your head.
“what the fuck?!” you shouted, standing up as your eyes never once left your phone screen.
matt began to shout out in excitement, “oh! oh! i won!”
“bullshit.”
“why’d you do that?” you turn towards chris, frustration clear in your voice.
“sorry.” he shrugged, knowing there wasn’t much he could do about your loss but at least he had your attention.
you weren’t mad. you were used to chris’ odd behavior towards you. you didn’t know why, but you never questioned it.
you just assumed that’s how he treated every girl he knew.
hell, you’ve seen the way he’d jokingly make fun of madi. while he was a little less aggressive towards her, you thought that maybe it was because she was a lot more sensitive than you.
•••
“what the hell are you doing here?”
you perked up at the sound of his voice, “nick and i are hanging out.”
“again? that’s like the fourth time this week.”
he seemed annoyed at the thought you hanging out with his brother again.
“we’re going to a party. you can come with us if you want?” you suggested, not wanting him to feel left out.
chris furrowed his brows, “no, i’m good. last thing i want to do is be around you.”
your face fell. what the hell is his problem?
before you could respond and question his hostility, nick comes running down stairs,
“you ready to go?”
“yeah, let’s go.” you stood up from your seat, quickly exiting the house with an oblivious nick in tow.
as chris watched you and nick leave, he couldn’t help but silently scold himself.
“what the hell is wrong with me?”
“well for starters, you’re talking to yourself. that might be a sign that you have some problems…”
chris slowly turned towards matt, “shut the fuck up.”
•••
being sober had its perks.
the first being that you wouldn’t be drunk off your ass and wake up with the absolute worst headache ever. but it also meant that you wouldn’t accidentally catch yourself doing anything out of your usual character.
like nick, who was currently conversing with two people you could have sworn he despised.
now, you would have stopped him but you were currently caught up in a conversation with one of the few non intoxicated people at this party.
he was cute, he was nice and (so far) it seemed like his intentions were pure.
so why did you feel so weird speaking to him?
luckily and unlucky for you, your question was about to be answered.
•••
“hurry up!”
chris ignored matt’s words, slamming the passenger door shut as he ran towards the front door of the house that held you, his older brother and apparently his competition.
it took less than a minute for him to find nick. the elder triplet stood out regardless of where he was or what he was doing. so once he found him chris immediately pushed through the group of people that surrounded him and demanded that he went to go meet matt back at the car.
nick gave no protests, commenting how everyone there was lame, much to chris’ luck.
finding you was a little harder but thanks to the video of one of his mutual followers, he was able to find the vase from the video in the house he was in.
despite his mood, chris’ eyes softened slightly at the sight of your bright smile until he realized it wasn’t him that you were smiling at.
approaching you, he didn’t dare give a glance at the boy in front of you,
“we’re leaving. let’s go.”
“woah. what?” you turned in confusion, your y/e/c landing on him. “chris, what are you doing here?”
“let’s go.”
he seemed desperate to leave. you didn’t know why he showed up but you couldn’t help but be concerned.
“okay. let me find nick.”
“he’s in the car.” he said, “let’s go.”
“okay! can you relax?”
“yeah, dude. chill.”
chris’ jaw clenched, “don’t fucking talk to me.”
“chris—”
“can we leave?”
“yes, okay. go.” you ushered him away, quickly turning to the guy you were previously speaking to, “i’m so sorry.”
•••
“are you good?” you asked chris the second you exited the loud house.
“no, i’m not. why were you talking to him?”
“i was making a friend, chris.” you chuckled awkwardly.
“a friend? didn’t seem like that to me. i mean, you’re in the back of someone’s instagram story laughing your ass off like he’s the funniest person alive. what’s that about?”
you’ve never been so confused in your life. just a few hours ago, he was telling you how he wanted nothing to do with you. and now he was getting upset because you were talking to someone? it made no sense.
“chris—“
“i don’t want talking to him anymore.”
“excuse me?”
it seemed as though chris realized how ridiculous his request was but didn’t speak on it.
“where do you get off on telling me what to do? who the hell do you think you are?”
he didn’t say anything.
“you didn’t give a shit about me or what i had going on literally four hours ago and now you suddenly care? why?”
“because—” he stopped himself.
“because? because what, chris? please enlighten me. because gods knows i deserve to understand your reasoning for treating me like shit for the last two years i’ve known you!”
“because i love you!”
you let out a breath, “what?”
“because- because i don’t want to see you with anyone else. because i want to be the person you’re happy with and the person you hate and the person you think about every second of everyday.” he rambled out, “because that’s what you are for me and god, yn, it’s so frustrating having to see you everyday and not have single idea how to tell you how i feel.”
chris was nearly shouting at this point, but he didn’t care. he was finally getting everything off his chest.
“i treated you like shit because having you simply look at me, even if it was in anger or disgust was the highlight of my day. i’ll admit it wasn’t the best idea i’ve ever had but i didn’t care because at least i had your attention.”
“why didn’t you say anything before?“ was the first thing you asked when he finished.
“i didn’t think you’d care.” he scoffed, “i’ve heard your conversations with nick about your celebrity crushes, i know i’m not your type.”
you couldn’t stop the chuckle that fell from you lips, “thats a celebrity crush, chris. i’m never going to meet or see any of those people ever. that means nothing to me.”
he watched you step closer to him.
“a simple ‘i like you’ would have done you wonders. you didn’t have to make matt drive thirty minutes to tell me how you feel.”
he inhaled sharply, his words caught up in his throat as your hand made contact with his cheek.
“if it makes you feel any better…i’m glad you told me how you feel.”
“yeah?”
you nodded, a breathy chuckle leaving your lips, “yeah.”
his eyes darted back and forth between yours, while you focused on his lips.
“can i kiss you, chris?”
“please.”
748 notes · View notes
novantinuum · 3 months
Text
Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning
I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.
Let's take a look:
Gem Glow
Tumblr media
"Awesome! What are these things?"
Tumblr media
Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.
Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.
The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-
Laser Light Canon
"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."
Tumblr media
Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.
At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.
And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...
Tumblr media
"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"
Tumblr media
And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.
Tumblr media
"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"
Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.
Tumblr media
I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.
Cheeseburger Backpack
So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)
Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Yeah... they can't all be winners."
This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-
Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.
Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.
Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.
Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.
Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.
Together Breakfast
Tumblr media
"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."
Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.
Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.
Tumblr media
I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.
The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.
Tumblr media
If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?
These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'
Tumblr media
"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"
And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.
Tumblr media
"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"
Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.
__
So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.
One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.
Tumblr media
Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.
Tumblr media
Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.
Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.
Tumblr media
In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'
Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.
When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.
In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.
But they don't care.
Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.
Tumblr media
With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.
And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...
No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.
926 notes · View notes
skippudippu · 2 months
Text
this is really inspired by a post someone else made but I can’t find it rn 😭😭 but hear me out okay
yes lisa frankenstein is a campy silly funny slasher romcom, and I ADORE it for that. but I’ve been thinking abt how it comments on the way society treats people with trauma, especially women, especially in past decades. the three major women each demonstrate different effects of that.
Lisa is the most obvious — we know what happened to her mom, and we see how everyone feels about her. hell, she tells us. nobody cares about her healing, they just want her to move on. (this also ties into themes of the original Frankenstein story; he wasn’t a monster, but everyone treated him like he was, so he became one.) instead of helping her, everyone others Lisa because she does not hide her pain, nor the effects that pain has had on her. so she becomes the dangerous freak everyone made her out to be.
then we have Janet — Janet, whose father died in the Vietnam war, who appears to have ignored her trauma exactly the way society wanted her to. she buried her pain in order to fit into traditional feminine roles: she’s a mother, she keeps up her home, she’s thin and made-up and absolutely drenched in feminine colors and silhouettes. but the unchecked trauma ate her up inside, and it made her into an antagonist. she became the very sort of person that contributed to her own suffering. she’s perpetuating a vile cycle.
and finally, there’s Taffy, who naturally checks every box on the ‘traditional femininity’ checklist. social and bright and pretty. a cheerleader, a party girl, toeing the line between fitting in and being memorable. she’s never experienced the kinds of struggle that Janet or Lisa did — until the end of the movie. that shot of the man in the car looking at her, beaten and bloody and scared out of her mind. and he drives away without a word. the minute she has a big, ugly problem? she’s dismissed. she’s othered, the same way that Lisa was.
but in Taffy’s final scene, she’s visiting Lisa’s grave. she wears the rosary, a symbol of her otherness. her dress is a feminine cut, and it’s black w pink flowers. she has just been a victim of events scarily similar to Lisa: her mother was killed by a frankenstein, she witnessed death, she was subsequently dismissed for her trauma. but I have to hope that this symbolizes the difference between Taffy and Lisa/Janet; that she’ll break the cycle; that she’ll be able to address her suffering while reclaiming her femininity.
405 notes · View notes
ponderingmoonlight · 3 months
Text
Sukuna comforting you after a breakup
Tumblr media
Pairing: Sukuna x reader
Word Count: 627
Notes: I don't know who needs to read this but somehow I needed to write it inspired by that edit I saw on Instagram a few days ago
Tumblr media
Imagine Sukuna laying his eyes on your puny figure sitting on the completely destroyed sidewalk while you cry your heart out in the middle of Shibuya.
“Why the hell are you sitting there crying like a baby?”
“Leave me alone”, you mutter into your hands.
He furrows his eyebrows, body drawing closer to you. Did those words really leave your mouth? Nobody ever dares to talk to him like that. Especially not when you're all alone out here with Gojo being sealed.
“Don’t you know who I am, stupid girl?”
“I don’t give a damn about who you are. Just leave”, you bark at him.
Why? Why on earth did it end like this? You really thought you could make it, that your relationship can be saved if you put the work in it, that you’ll be able to change yourself. But then this call came in, only minutes before you arrived in Shibuya.
“It’s over, (y/n).”
It’s over. How is it supposed to be over when it didn’t even start yet? How is it supposed to be over when your heart still aches for the tender touch of your love, for the smile that haunts you in your dreams, for this one person alone? A new wave of tears swells up your puffy eyes and takes your sight, body still numb in agony. This can’t be true. It shouldn’t have ended like this.
Your heart sinks through your shaky fingertips onto the floor, bleeds out when reality hits you like a wall.
But it definitely is over.
“You’re lucky I’m having a good day.”
His voice is suddenly next to you, forces your eyes to dart up. This is Yuji. No…Just one look into his blank eyes is enough for you to realize that Sukuna himself is sitting next to you, nipping on a coke as if he isn’t the king of curses.
You should be scared. Fuck, you should scream in horror and try to run away. But instead, you just stare at him blankly. Does it even matter what happens to you anymore?
“What is it?”
“What is what?”, you try to avoid his question.
Oh god, as if it isn’t bad enough that you’re sitting here like an idiot while crying your heart out.
“What is all of this about?”
You swallow hard. There is no way out of this, no chance to escape the piercing gaze of his. You will have to tell him the truth.
“I’ve got dumped today”, you mutter.
“Dumped”, he repeats dryly.
“Dumped.”
“And that’s what you’re crying about? Some random guy?”
“It wasn’t just a random guy”, you bite back in a desperate attempt to defend yourself.
No, more like the one you imagined your future with, the one you wanted to adopt a dog or cat with, the one who was supposed to stay. But now all of this is gone in the wind. Your past, your present, your future. Everything went black.
“You know what makes me so damn strong?”
What? You blink away your tears, confusion written on your face. What on earth is he talking about?
“Because you killed countless people, are older than dinosaurs…-“
“Because I never let a love story distract me from my own strength.”
“What are you talking about?”, you huff in response, shaking your head in sheer disbelief.
What is that supposed to mean? You’re not Ryomen Sukuna, you aren’t a special grade sorcerer, you are…A no one, not even able to keep your relationship up. Fuck, you should have worked on yourself like you've promised over and over, shouldn't have started fights over things that wouldn't have changed anyway. You...You are the problem.
“Shouldn’t you be strong on your own as well?”
You have to blink a few times, mind trying to process the meaning of his words. Sukuna throws away the empty cup of coke and gets up, casually straightening his clothes before yanking your chin upwards, forcing you to stare straight into his red eyes.
“You don’t need anyone. Now get your puny self up and stop giving other people that power over you. If I see you crying over that relationship again, I’ll kill you right on the spot. Got it?”
Your heart flutters uncontrollably in your chest, hands shaking by the sheer force of his words. Why does he have to be so damn right? Why…why do you suddenly feel better?
“Got it”, you breathe out, clenching your trembling fingers into a tight fist.
Yeah, you got it.
Tumblr media
Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazini @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr@kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299@busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru
540 notes · View notes
lizziesfirstwife · 1 year
Text
Yearning
✿ neteyam x fem!reader ✿
Tumblr media
➳ summary: neteyam and you have been crushing on each other for the longest time, with a lot of built-up tension. However, neither of you expected his parents to get in the way of your love.
➳ warnings: him and reader aged up, tiny bit of angst, mention of readers parents being dead, neteyam and you pining over eachother, slight talks about arranged marriage/ mates if you squint, fluff at the end
➳ note: this is my first avatar work, so please be nice! Reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated <3
Tumblr media
You were fed up. Fed up with his longing stares, and especially with the looks the other villagers gave you. Like you couldn't hear the whispers. As if you couldn't feel their condescending looks. Him staring at you only made matters worse for the fact.
Neteyam couldn't care less about the villagers. Hell, he didn't even know what exactly they were whispering about. Their disparaging looks didn't make it too difficult to figure out, though. You were perfect in his eyes. You had never judged him when he cried in your arms at night, while he let down the long-since-built walls, constructed as a consequence of his father's harsh words.
Neytiri could only shake her head, amazed at the similarities between her firstborn and her husband. They were both lovable, but when it came to showing that love outwardly to those they loved, embarrassment appeared quicker than she could shoot an arrow. Too many times she's had to wake you up late at night and send you home when you and Neteyam have been fooling around late into the night about some topic she thought was silly, and ended up falling asleep half on top of one another. A true masterpiece, as she would call it. And not infrequently, an unmissable blush would appear on Neteyam's cheeks as soon as she would mention it. With the number of times this already has happened, Jake was more than confused about the sudden change of color on his son's face, only for Neytiri to displeasingly shake her head. Sully boys and love, like she said.
For the two of you, there was only one thing: you would make fun of his little brother for the rest of your days. As friends. What else?
Your parents died in an attack by the sky people just before the Sullys decided to seek out another clan for the safety of their people. You didn't let go of Neteyam's arms for nights on end, and even though your nails were digging into his back, almost painfully, and his chest was smooth with tears, he never sent you away. It wasn't a difficult decision to go with him. Who else did you have?
You walked arm in arm along the beach. The sun shone down on you relentlessly, pleasantly beating down your hair, and warming your skin. You could still feel the freezing wind that blew over the sea, grateful more than ever for the weather Eywa blessed you with after your long journey. Thanks to Neteyam, you had a not-too-hard time arriving, Tuk however took it the hardest. The eight-year-old still refused to make friends her age, instead clinging to her siblings whenever possible. Jake and Neytiri were usually too busy with clan affairs, which hit the youngest harder than she admitted. Lo'ak, however, preferred to spend his time with a certain curly-haired Na'vi. Surely it wasn't on purpose, but an eight-year-old would hardly understand that. Kiri was mostly out in the ocean anyway and didn't come back until late in the evening with a handful of accessories. No way you had a problem taking care of her! But in moments like these, when you were just a girl and Neteyam just a boy with no responsibilities, you were grateful more than ever for Eywa's blessing.
You were pulled out of your thoughts when you felt a prick in your upper left arm. A grin crossed Neteyam's face as you darted around to him, eyes narrowed and mouth wide open. He just shrugged his shoulders. "You could have just said no instead of scaring the hell out of me...looked like your mind left your body." You rolled your eyes. Neteyam has always been the more dramatic of the two of you, which has often shown to not be helpful in the most harmless situations. Neither of you would ever forget the incident with the pa'li, nor Neytiri's 3-hour-long debark. Since then you have never dared to ride one of these creatures again, which couldn't be said of Neteyam. Of course not. He needed adventure like air to breathe, and adventure needed him just as equally.
His long fingers wandered from your shoulder to your waist, where they lingered comfortably. You couldn't help but feel how your breath quickened and your body tingled where it touched Neteyam's. You prayed to Eywa that he couldn't feel how fast your heart was beating. More and more often lately, the eldest Sully boy didn't even have to touch you to get that kind of reaction out of you. But when he touched you... Suddenly you were very aware of his big hand on your waist, the way his fingers dug into the flesh...
"Y/N? Y/N! Wiya, you did it again! Seems like you don't even want to listen to me anymore..."
Pushing the inappropriate thoughts out of your head, you shook your head violently. "Teyam, no! It's just... I don't know. Everything feels so different lately. As if this peace were just a cruel dream, and we could wake up to reality at any moment."
His gaze softened, gently pulling you towards him so that your entire left half was now pressed against his right. "If this was a dream, I'd be glad you were in it. Maybe this is just a dream, so what? Then this would be the best dream ever." He playfully pinched your waist, which elicited an angry squeak. Quickly he averted his eyes and cleared his throat, missing the way your entire face was blushing. Eywa, this must certainly be a dream, he thought. He swallowed hard, looked up at the sky, and then back into your eyes. "My mom keeps asking about you. I think if you don't come to dinner tonight she'll wring my neck herself."
You grinned. "That would be too bad..." He looked at you in mock indignation but couldn't help the laughter that escaped his throat. "So, you'll come? For my mom?", he asked, looking at you with his puppy eyes. Your knees almost buckled at the sight, but you managed to look at him with a pursed mouth. "For your mom? Neteyam, if that's just another excuse to put those nasty leaves in my food that give me a rash-" "It was one time! Lo'ak threatened to push me off my ikran the next time we would have a mission again!", he interrupted you, but quickly closed his mouth when he saw the look in your eyes. Sometimes you were more like his mother than he would have liked. He had apologized to you for hours at the time and sat in front of your tent for 2 days because you had given him the cold shoulder. He could take it that you were mad at him, but it felt as if some part of him was missing when you weren't with him. There was a heavy storm at the time, and he would probably have frozen to death from all the rain and wind if you hadn't dragged him into your tent with your own hands and forced him to eat. He refused to even touch the food until you accepted his apology. Eywa, could he be stubborn...
Slowly you started to walk on, dragging Neteyam with you. You couldn't stay mad at him for long. Not your Neteyam. You breathed in slowly and audibly, a smile again creeping its way onto your face. "How could I ever turn down your mother's food..."
"And then Neteyam here said that he didn't have to bathe for 2 weeks as a protest, just because I pointed out to him that he would scare away the whole prey with such a stench," Neytiri said with a full mouth, a handful of bladder polyps on her plate. The plant's salty taste was delicious, leaving a tingling sensation on your tongue after you chew and swallow it. Jake once compared its taste to the one of a pickle, whatever that was.
Neteyam's face flushed, his eyes grazing yours to see if you even caught his mother's words. He was suddenly very aware of your proximity. How your thigh grazed his, or the sweet smell of the perfume that Tsireya must have given you. He would always prefer your natural scent but still could only pray that his body wouldn't betray him during the duration of this meal. He prayed.
Jake cleared his throat and almost all conversation ceased except for Kiri's soft chatter with Tuk. He admonished the two with a quick look but didn't bother any further with their talk. "This wonderful dinner, prepared by my wonderful mate", he said with a loving gaze toward Neytiri, "finally gives us a chance to get together again. There is much that needs to be talked about, some urgent matters that take priority." Neteyam looked at him warily, not quite taking his gaze off of you yet. Jake was now facing Neteyam, who was switching from looking at you and his father. "As you surely know, the time has come in your life when you have to make certain decisions. Coupled with the rumors going around... Neteyam, you need a mate."
He could have also set fire to the tent, and thrown the entirety of you into the ocean. The sound that escaped from your throat sounded almost outraged. Neteyam swallowed hard, trying to hide the sweat from his hands. There was no way his father chose to have this conversation the one time you agreed on having dinner with him.
"Do we have to have this conversation when Y/N's over?"
"Don't worry, Y/N was expected to have this conversation in a few days as well. Having her eat here with us today only avoids unnecessary complications," Jake dismissed. Neytiri had a look in her eyes that you couldn't read, looking down at her plate vehemently. Tuk's and Kiri's conversation had also fallen silent in the meantime, the two girls now doing the same as their mother, although you could see Tuk sneakily glancing up at what her father was saying.
Neteyam shook his head, but Jake warned him with a look you've seen all too often on the father's face. "Rumors are floating around Neteyam... rumors that you've already chosen someone. Do you know how much concern these rumors are causing? And guess who the number 1 guess is." You knew he meant you. And from the way Neteyams ears twitched, you knew that he was aware of that too.
Neteyam hoped that if everyone saw him with you, they would finally understand that he wasn't interested in anyone else, and certainly never would be. But it rather seemed like it had the opposite effect.
Jake's gaze softened a bit after looking at his wife's reaction. It seemed like she wasn't particularly excited to have this conversation, particularly not with you there to witness it. "I don't want to deprive you of your freedom of choice by any means son, but since you refuse to take Y/N as your-", he started, but Neteyam interrupted him with a snarl. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're friends? Friends! You act like the clan will throw us out if I don't choose a woman tomorrow." But the head of the family did not put up with any arguments. He raised his hand to signal Neteyam to be quiet. "We're lucky the clan took us so well. And surely no one cares that you're still unmated, but do you really want people to start talking? Especially about Y/N, who certainly has nothing to do with your situation."
Neteyam said nothing. He just looked down at his plate, defeated, all appetite driven away. It shouldn't bother you that much. You guys were friends after all, best friends if you can put it that way. But that he preferred to be the number one topic of conversation, instead of even considering mating with you...
No. No. No. You couldn't think like that. It was Neteyam after all! Your accommodating, incredibly considerate Neteyam, whom you would like to wring his neck for all the feelings he aroused in you. You didn't even notice your feet carrying you out of the tent, nor Neytiri's worried look, or Tuk's plaintive call of your name.
Maybe you were wrong. Maybe it wasn't just Neteyam who needed adventure in his life to survive. And perhaps it was Neteyam who was the real adventure in your life. Who was your adventure...
The waves were unusually calm as you were sitting on the sand with Tsireya by your side as if Eywa sensed how shaken you were. It has been a week since the incident at the Sullys. You were thankful more than ever to have your own tent, as you didn't want any confrontation with Neteyam or his parents yet. You weren't sure if you would ever want that. Tsireya must have noticed your sudden change in mood because she said nothing, instead sitting next to you while the two of you worked on a necklace. She firmly believed that being creative and doing something was a great help against bad moods. And truly, you haven't felt at peace like that since before the dinner a week ago.
Your fingers almost hurt from the repeating motion you had to do to create the certain pearl pattern you wanted in your necklace, when you suddenly heard voices behind you. No no no. Your field of vision was suddenly blocked from the sun, and you had to tilt your neck uncomfortably to face the source of your problems. Of course, your moment of peace had to be interrupted by him. Neteyam Sully had his hands clasped behind his back and his expression seemed blank, were it not for the small smile that had long been reserved just for you. Tsireya looked back and forth between you, asking you with a silent look if this was okay with you. You just nodded slightly, never taking your eyes off Neteyam. Taking the hint, she took her unfinished necklace and quietly snuck away.
Neteyam looked after her until she disappeared from his sight, and then took the spot next to you where Tsireya just sat. Neither of you said anything for a few minutes until he finally spoke. "You know, my mom almost killed me when I didn't run after you." You didn't say anything, which he took with a nod and the sign to continue. "I never really paid attention to girls when I grew up. Why should I when I grew up with the best of them?" You slowly turned to him and realized that his eyes were on you. You almost stood up, if his eyes didn't have that pleading look in them. So you just continued to listen.
"I've never questioned my disinterest in girls growing up, thinking that the right one just hadn't walked into my life yet. But I was stupid, so stupid. Eywa, I probably still am." You couldn't help but grin at his words, and he laughed at how easily he could coax a reaction out of you. Slowly, not wanting to scare you away, he slipped his hands into yours so that you were now facing him. "Y/N... I never saw it. I never understood why my parents never wanted to stop teasing me about you. But I guess I didn't want to see it. Didn't want to realize that there was a possibility, a big one at that, that you might not feel the same as I do." Your heart was beating wildly, and you thought for a moment that he could hear how wildly it was beating, how wildly it was beating for him, when his gaze slid to your chest and then up again. He gently squeezed your hand, unconsciously stroking the back of your hand with his thumb soothingly.
You knew what he was getting at, the look in his eyes almost unbearable. You didn't know what you were supposed to say, your throat feeling tight all of a sudden, unable to get any sound out of it. So you just scooted closer to him, your chest now barely touching his. "I always thought there was something wrong with me. That I wasn't in a position to like the chief's son even a little bit more than his best friend should. But..." You looked up at him desperate, gazing at his lips for a short second. His pupils dilated with something indescribable at seeing your flushed cheeks and blown eyes. You could have sworn that the air around you was buzzing. No words needed to be said as you two stared at each other, no words to express the magnitude of feelings that existed between you.
"Neteyam, I-"
"I see you Y/N."
You sat there with a dumbfounded look on your face, mouth wide open at the fact that he shamelessly interrupted your confession. Part of you wanted to smack him in the chest for that, but you were sure that any more physical contact would make your heart actually fail. He saw you. He is seeing you.
Neteyam didn't know how you managed to smile that hard, or how his heart could beat as hard as it was right now, but Eywa would he put up with it a thousand times more if it meant he would be able to see that look on your face again.
"I see you too, skxawng."
You didn't want to think of all the consequences that this moment would bring, or how tomorrow would be after you woke up and the situation would sink in your head.
You were right. He was your adventure, but you were also his. He needed adventure like he needed air to breathe, and for the first time in ages, it felt like he was finally able to again.
With you.
3K notes · View notes
solarmorrigan · 11 months
Text
You know how cats seem to have an innate sense of when you’re about to get up, and they choose that exact moment to sit down on your lap? And no sooner have they made themselves comfortable than you realize that you have to go to the bathroom, or someone calls you over, or the phone starts ringing, and you have to shove the poor cat off your lap?
That’s basically Eddie’s sex life right now.
Well alright, no, not entirely, but – it’s a component that’s certainly starting to become an irritation.
It’s just that Steve has a wonderful lap.
At least, Eddie assumes it’s wonderful. It’s wonderfully inviting, at the very least; it’s wide enough to offer Eddie (who is not quite as generously endowed in the whole… thighs-ass department, he’ll admit) a good seat, and he’s had his hands on the area often enough to know it’s firm but with just the right amount of give to be very comfortable.
But Eddie’s never actually gotten to spend much time on it.
He doesn’t even mean that in a sexual way (although that much is also true). Every time he’s so much as tried to plop himself down on Steve’s lap to do something as innocent as watch a movie, Steve seems to remember something he needs to get up and do within just a few minutes.
For a little while, Eddie had been worried about what that meant. Did Steve not want to spend time with him? Did Steve not want Eddie near him? Did Steve not find him attractive? Did Steve just find him annoying?
But further time spent together has given Eddie more confidence. Clearly Steve enjoys spending time with him—submits to it willingly and often—and does find Eddie annoying but in a way he enjoys. Steve also most definitely finds Eddie attractive (and, in fact, has no trouble at all spending extended time on Eddie’s lap). So at this point, it’s more of a puzzle. A frustration.
It can’t be that Eddie’s too heavy for him; Eddie isn’t a small guy, really, but he isn’t huge, either. He’s seen Steve push and pull bigger people around – hell, he’s seen Steve carry Mike a good ways through the woods and back to the car after the kid had slipped and twisted his ankle when they’d been out walking (an incident which none of them are allowed to speak of ever, for varying reasons of blackmail and dignity), and he’s not too much smaller than Eddie.
Eddie is nothing if not a direct sort of guy, though – if he’s thinking something, he’s going to say it. This is mostly because he has very little brain-to-mouth filter, but he’s learned to make it part of his image. He’s pretty sure it works for him.
All of this to say that one afternoon, as they make out on Steve’s couch, Eddie freshly settled on Steve’s lap, Eddie decides to just… ask.
He waits until he can feel Steve’s hands sliding down around his thighs—not groping, but with the intent to move him—before he pulls back to say anything.
“Hey,” he says—gasps, really, still a little breathless with his attempt to seize the opportunity, “question.”
Steve blinks up at him, startled. “Uh. Shoot.”
“Do you not like it, when I sit on your lap? Because it kinda seems like you find other places to be when I try to make that happen.”
If Steve had been startled before, that’s nothing on how he looks now. He covers it in an instant, but Eddie’s seen it; Steve’s good, he’s very good, but Eddie is literally right in his face.
“What?” Steve pulls back, brows drawn in confusion. “No. Why would I have a problem with you being in my lap?”
Eddie shrugs. “Not a damn clue. That’s why I figured I’d ask. It’s just that whenever I get myself settled here, you suddenly remember you have to get up.”
“I don’t do that,” Steve scoffs, throwing in a good-natured eye roll.
“You kinda do, babe,” Eddie says, keeping it light; this isn’t an argument, nor an accusation – it’s literally just a question, and he doesn’t want to scare Steve off.
“So you’re saying, that every time I have my boyfriend on my lap – a guy I find insanely hot, by the way,” Steve’s hand slide back up Eddie’s thighs, edging towards his ass, and this time he’s groping, “you’re saying I don’t want him there, is that right?”
Eddie’s resolve almost breaks as Steve stares up at him with his ridiculous, pretty eyes (he’s good, he’s very good, Eddie will give him that) and tugs him closer with his ridiculous, strong hands, but he knows Steve is lying. He knows it.
He just doesn’t know why.
And isn’t that interesting? Eddie wouldn’t exactly call Steve an open book, but they know each other pretty well by now; Eddie can usually read Steve, but he has no idea what he’s thinking just at the moment.
So he decides to allow it.
He’ll see where it goes.
“Hm,” Eddie hums, as if he’s thinking. “That does sound a little silly, if you put it like that.”
“Completely silly.” Steve grins up at him, but there’s a thread of very genuine sincerity in what he says next. “Of course I want you here.”
And Eddie’s not sure what to say to that, so he leans back in to kiss Steve again.
And for a while, it’s fine. Great, even. Steve is a very good kisser, after all, and Eddie likes to think he’s no slouch himself, and a good time is being had by all, except before too long Eddie can feel Steve starting to tense up under him.
Once again, Eddie doesn’t mean this in a sexual way.
It’s not the fun, anticipatory kind of tensing, but the ready to run or punch something kind of tensing. The kind of tension that comes from a threat, not from having your boyfriend on your lap.
Eddie waits to see if Steve will do anything, say anything, but he does nothing. His kisses grow more distracted, quicker and shallower, but he doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t push Eddie away.
It’s when Steve starts shaking that Eddie gives up.
“Okay,” Eddie pulls away, shifting himself to the side so he doesn’t have more than an ankle draped over Steve’s legs, “what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean, what’s wrong? You’re the one who pulled away,” Steve snaps.
“Yeah, because it feels like you don’t want me up there,” Eddie shoots back.
Steve rolls his eyes again, irritated this time. “What, you don’t like it if I don’t let you sit on my lap, you don’t like it if I do let you sit on my lap– What the fuck do you want from me?”
“Maybe just the goddamn truth.”
Whatever Eddie expects, it isn’t for Steve to just… stare at him.
He stares at Eddie for a good five seconds in full silence before shaking his head. “No,” he says quietly, “you don’t want that.”
His sudden reticence only sparks Eddie’s irritation. “Don’t tell me what I do or don’t want, Steve. You don’t want to tell me, that’s on you, but don’t decide for me what I don’t want to know.”
“Well what do you think you’re going to hear, Eddie, huh?” Steve barks. “What do you want to hear? You wanna hear how Billy Hargrove sat on me – pinned me down while he beat me unconscious? Or you wanna hear how it felt to be handcuffed to a fucking chair while some Russians– while they– how it felt to be held down and not be able to stop them from doing anything?”
Steve has stood up now, pacing in front of Eddie, and Eddie wishes he could do anything other than fucking stare while his boyfriend has some kind of breakdown that he started.
“Or – or how about how I ruined multiple dates, or hookups, or whatevers when someone tried to sit themselves down on top of me and I damn near shoved them off onto the floor and then had to make up some dumb fucking excuse and run out on them before I had some kind of fucking panic attack? You wanna hear all that?” Steve demands, rounding back on Eddie. “No! You don’t… you don’t want to hear that.”
“Steve… no, I don’t wanna hear all that,” Eddie says, and hurries on when he can see Steve practically crumple in on himself, “I don’t want to hear that all that horrible shit has happened to you, but I need to.”
“Wh– what?”
“You don’t… I mean, you don’t have to give me specifics if you don’t want, but I need to know what might set you off so I don’t accidentally do it, okay?” Eddie says. “It fucking terrifies me that you went through all that, and I know I can’t do anything about it, but I’m at least not going to be one more thing that makes you hurt. I’m gonna make damn sure of that.”
“…Oh.”
It’s clearly not what Steve was expecting to hear, and for a moment he shifts uncertainly in front of Eddie. He wraps his arms around himself before seeming to think better of it and crossing them over his chest instead. Eddie wants nothing more than to draw him close and hold him, but Steve’s not quite ready yet.
“I’m not… I didn’t want to say anything. I don’t want it to be an issue,” Steve finally says.
I don’t want you to treat me differently, he doesn’t say.
“Then we won’t make it an issue.” Eddie shrugs. “You got some kind of trauma associated with sitting on other people, or can you come back over here to me?”
Steve blinks at Eddie, startled, before he gives in to a little huff of laughter, slowly crossing back over to the couch.
“You’re an ass,” he says, all fondness.
“Mm, so I’ve been told,” Eddie says, aiming a smug smile up at Steve as Steve settles himself right over Eddie’s lap. “And yet, here you are.”
“Yeah…” Steve leans in, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Eddie’s mouth, quirking a little smile as he pulls away. “Here I am.”
3K notes · View notes
souliebird · 4 months
Text
[[and then I met you || ch. 12||
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.
pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Words: 5k
banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Even in the middle of the night, the heat of summer in Hell's Kitchen is oppressive. It doesn't help that there is a storm rolling in and it is so humid Matt feels like he's breathing in water. Sweat is pouring off of him and he's glad he opted out of wearing his red armor - he has the feeling he would have overheated within an hour.
The only good thing about it pushing eighty degrees at two am is that only people that have to be out are out. Even though it is Saturday night/ Sunday morning, the streets are empty and Matt has only encountered people on their way back home. He hasn't even needed to scare off any muggers or stop any break ins. In fact, all he has really done all night is track people to make sure they got to their destinations safely.
There was a small surge of people around midnight coming off the trains and they had been rowdy, but hadn't caused any problems. Matt quickly worked out they were part of the protesters who have been crowding outside the courthouse for the past few days and deemed they were not a threat to his beloved city.
He's spoken to a few of them while at the courthouse and he fully supports their cause and their right to protest. Admittedly, Matt is not one to stay on top of current events, but he thinks it is suspicious that the government will not reveal what caused the massive explosion in Connecticut. It's been weeks but instead of answers, it feels like everything about the incident is being shoved under the rug and Matt knows if it was closer to home, Karen would be chomping at the bit to investigate.
Over six hundred people lost their lives and no one is being brought to justice for it. They are saying it was an attack, but no one is claiming ownership or being blamed for the destruction. It makes him angry, and though this isn't his fight, he'll do his part protecting the voices in his community who demand the truth.
Tonight, it seems like his community is safe and Matt will be able to get more than two hours of sleep before he needs to go to Mass. He needs to do a final pass around the neighborhood before he turns in for the night, so he pushes himself up from where he has been crouching like a gargoyle and stretches his limbs. His knees pop and his back screams at him and he decides that despite the heat, he will take a scorching shower to soothe his muscles. He may not have gotten into any big fights the past few nights, but that doesn't matter to his body - it's always aching and throbbing in one way or another.
He pulls his mask down over his face, hating how it instantly makes his forehead sticky and wet, and starts his loop.
He starts at the top of 10th and weaves across and down until he passes Foggy and Marci’s apartment. He pauses across the street and crouches down as he tunes his ears to their bedroom. They are both in a deep sleep and there is no threat he can detect, but still he stays for a minute just to be sure. Daredevil may have complicated his best friend's life, but Foggy has never had trouble making his own enemies. He may not be a vigilante, but his sense of justice is just as strong as Matt's and that has caused people to come at him violently. Someone breaking in is not out of the question.
Marci has her own enemies but if anyone ever tries to come after her, well, Matt will pray for their soul because not even he is that self-destructive. She once made a joke about becoming a crime lord and he still has the occasional nightmare over it.
Matt scans the surrounding buildings for any problems once more before he starts off towards Karen's place. She was still awake when he last passed her building and the odds of her still being up are pretty even. He wouldn't be surprised to find her typing away at some article - stirring up the pot as always. He loves her for that personality trait, even if it mentally puts him through the ringer with worry over her - he supposes it is nothing compared to what he does to her.
But luckily, for the collective sanity of Nelson, Murdock, and Page, more people care about Karen's well-being than care about Matt's.
He knows she has Jessica's number on speed dial - letting them meet is one of his greatest regrets in life. He is well aware of the cameras set up by Frank's computer friend and while the Marine is out of town, he's left her with another layer of protection - his dog Max.
Not that Karen can't take care of herself.
If she and Marci teamed up to take over Manhattan, Matt doesn't know if he could stop them.
Maybe he'll tell her that for her birthday - it will make a better gift than anything he'd be able to think of.
Matt lands on the roof of Karen's building, relieved to find she has gone to sleep since he last checked on her. She must have let the dog get in bed with her, because it's snoring is making it hard for him to tune into her without concentration. She's safe and seemingly happy, so he lingers only a moment before resuming the last dredges of his patrol.
He heads down to the docks next. There are people there, but they are meant to be - prepping for the fish markets and early morning cargo ships. These are good, hard working men who don't dabble in things that would make the Devil hunt them. In fact, he's got a good contact in one of the fish mongers, who will let him know if there's been anything suspicious in the wee hours of the morning. He doesn't need to check in now, as there have been no whispers as of late, and he disappears back into the shadows of the city to head towards Clinton Church.
Matt's stomach turns as he gets closer to where he grew up. His feelings about the location and the people there have been a ridiculous rollercoaster since he found out he was a father.
He deeply misses Father Lantom. Despite what everyone has told him, he firmly blames himself for the man's death and does not understand why God made that choice. It hurts that he isn't here and Matt can barely bring himself to go into the church - he's only started to re-attend Mass since learning about Minnie to seek guidance from God about this new path. He'd give anything to be able to speak to the man who mentored him in life - to hear what he would say about Matt having a daughter.
It isn't that Matt dislikes the new priest - he just doesn't like him. He's resistant to change and it should be Father Lantom giving Communion and taking his Confession.
It should be Father Lantom who Baptizes Minnie, not this man Matt has never even spoken with.
Maggie is trying to get Matt to interact with the man, but his relationship with her is going through a rocky patch and he hasn't actually spoken with her in about two weeks. She hasn't done anything wrong - he is just having an internal crisis over how learning he is a parent changed him and his abandonment issues. He's spent a lot of time in reflection and understands why she left him and his father, but he now has a renewed anger at her for not telling him the truth sooner.
Did she not love him like he loves Minnie? Was it something he did wrong?
Will she love Minnie like she loved Matt? He trusts her to care for his daughter, but will she love her granddaughter the way she deserves to be loved?
Everything is made more complicated over how guilty he is over having these feelings and so, instead of talking to his mother, he's been avoiding her. He knows he needs to eventually address it, but for the moment Maggie is none the wiser about his mini-me.
He'll tell her after he tells you about her.
It is something he needs to do still - it just hasn't come up yet. Most of your conversations center around Minnie and you are still getting to know each other. You've shared few stories about your childhood - mostly about school - and Matt isn't so sure how your anxiety will handle Maggie. His mother is a good person, but she is a lot and he knows you have your own parent issues.
Like at the docks, there are people active at the Church. A few homeless patrons are seeking shelter before the rain and there is a nun tending to their needs. The kids are safely tucked into bed, and while it sounds like a few are having nightmares, there is nothing he can do for them at the moment.
If they wake and cry out, he prays their calls are answered.
Matt practically flees the sacred grounds and his anxiety only settles once he crosses into Chelsea.
As he runs, he hones his senses to the apartment building you live in. It is easy for him to lock onto - he's already spent countless hours perched on the boundaries of the two neighborhoods listening to you and Minnie sleep. He knows it is creepy, but he cannot help himself.
Minnie’s laugh is his new favorite sound, and not far behind it is your heartbeat. Much like his daughter, he's found himself focusing on it when things get too much and it is the perfect way to end patrols - winding down while you and Mouse dream.
You mumble in your sleep and it is the most endearing thing he's ever encountered. He likes to respond to your strange statements, imagining he's right there in bed with you. There has been a recurring theme of parrots and he is thinking that the bird exhibit will be off limits during Minnie’s birthday trip to the zoo, based on what he's heard.
But it isn't you mumbling in your apartment tonight - it's Minnie.
His daughter is awake and has moved from the bedroom to the living room. The television is on - playing what he thinks is Sesame Street - and she seems to be fussing with a toy. Context clues tell him she's playing with a doll or stuffed animal - dress up is one of her favorite games and he knows it is one of her Quiet Games.
“Nexts,” she says sweetly to her toy, “we gotta do your make ups.”
Matt decides to wait until he's landed on the roof before he makes her aware of his presence. He kneels and takes a moment to center himself, taking a deep breath to do so. He focuses on calming the Devil in his chest - this is the first time he's caught Minnie awake in the middle of the night and he needs to address it as Matt and not Daredevil.
He doesn't want to scare her, after all. She'll probably be very confused as to why he's there and being scared won't help anything.
“Minnie, sweetheart, can you hear me?” He asks, keeping his voice soft as possible as he does.
To her credit, she doesn't start at all. It takes her a moment to process, but then she questions, “Daddy?”
The name makes his heart soar - everytime she says it, he breaks into the biggest smile. It is the sweetest sound and the fact she switched to calling him that all on her own means the world to him.
She wants him to be her Daddy.
“Yeah, sweetheart, it's me. What are you doing awake?” he questions, smiling as he hears her get up and start to walk around. He wonders if she is looking for him and his guess is confirmed when he hears her start lifting things up to look under them.
“I'm watching Cookie Monsters,” she replies and Matt chuckles. He thinks it is so adorable she is also so direct with her answers. She always answers exactly what is asked.
“I don't think it is time for Cookie Monster, Mouse. I think it's sleep time. Mommy is sleeping.”
You are in a deep sleep, your breathing slow and even. He can tell you've been exhausted lately and probably need the sleep. More than once he's found you awake during his patrols. If Minnie tried to wake you up, you probably weren't responsive and she had left you to sleep.
She peters her way back to in front of the television and plops back down after checking under the dining table. Matt waits for her to respond, knowing sometimes it takes her time to form what she wants to say.
“I can't sleep,” she mumbles, upset clear in her voice, “there's a monster.”
The Devil flares up inside of him and he instantly scans the area for a threat. There are few people awake in the area and he focuses in on them - none of them appear to be any sort of danger to his daughter. At the moment.
But they could have been earlier. They could have woken her up by doing something horrible. A mugging. Domestic violence. Something worse.
He curls his lip into a snarl.
He'll find whoever upset his daughter and drive them from his city. The state.
It's a miracle he manages to keep his voice calm and gentle, “A monster?”
“A monster,” she confirms sadly. Her breathing becomes muffled and Matt figures she has shoved her hand into her mouth to self-comfort.
“Can you tell Daddy about the monster?”
She sucks on her fingers and with her free hand, pulls her toy into her lap. He wants to push her to tell him, but he knows he can't. She's not a witness or a suspect - she's his daughter trying her best. He can tell she wants to answer, he just needs to be patient.
“He ran really fast,” Minnie starts to say, barely taking her hand out of her mouth to do so, “and went eek-eek-eek and smelled like poopy-butt.”
The words baffle him and Matt knits his brows - this monster was close enough for Minnie to smell him? The monster in his chest snarls and he has to fight to keep his composure. He knows Minnie is locked onto him and if he lets his rage show, she will know and she will get scared.
He needs to protect his daughter. He needs to believe God will not test him in this.
“Minnie, sweetie, can you tell Daddy where the monster is?”
Her little head turns up to face exactly where he is standing, asking in a small voice, “are you gonna fight him?”
The Devil roars ‘yes’, but the Father in him says, “Do you want me to?”
“Mommy scares him away,” she advises hesitantly. He can practically feel the nerves radiating off of her and it makes him clench his fist.
Matt doesn't understand. This has happened before?
Then it beams him in the head like a baseball and Matt feels like a complete idiot.
Minnie is a toddler. Her monsters are shadows, creaky pipes, and the four legged creatures in the city. Those are things that no longer register on Matt's radar but she hasn't learned to tune them out yet. Of course she would be scared of those things - Matt was scared of those things when he first got his senses and he was much older than Minnie at the time.
He remembers his first phone call with you and how it ended - something about Monster Repellent.
“I can go scare off the monster - would you like that?” he asks, the Devil in him settling down now that he knows no one is trying to hurt his little girl.
He doesn't know if it's Minnie sensing his shift in mood or if she didn't want him to fight the monster and scaring it away is what she wants, but she untenses her shoulders and her hand comes out of her mouth.
“You'll scare him away?” She asks after hugging her toy right to her chest.
“I'll scare him away,” he quickly promises.
“He smells like poopy-butt,” she repeats and Matt wonders if she is making a stinky face. That is something you tell him he and Minnie share - a certain curl of their lips when they find something unappealing.
“That's okay, sweetie, I'll make him go smell bad somewhere else. He won't bother you,” he says. “Can you tell me where he went and I'll go chase him away.”
Finally, she points down towards the alleyway between her building and the neighboring one and adds, “He can climb walls. Like Spidey-Man.”
Matt resists the urge to huff over the mention of the other vigilante. He has met the kid twice before and his biggest take, besides it was a kid under the mask and that had been its own thing, was that he needed to learn how to throw a proper punch. It confirmed for him all that Avengers training and showboating really meant nothing and they really were better off fighting aliens and wizards than helping out real people.
“Don't worry, Mouse, I can climb the walls, too.” He's definitely letting his Pride show through, but if he can't show off for his daughter, who can he show off for?
He makes a quick map in his head, then goes to the edge of the roof. Minnie’s head is still angled up towards him and she ‘watches’ as he parkours down to street level. If he adds a few unnecessary flips, well, that is no one's business but his own.
Once he is on the pavement, he opens his senses to the things he normally blocks out. The city becomes far more lively around him - cats, raccoons, birds, dogs, all sorts of bugs and things he doesn't like to think about. There's yowling and chirps and suddenly so much more movement, most of it under his feet.
Mouse’s monster is easy to find. It is a disgustingly large rat that has built a nest of trash and grime under a dumpster. The thing has a respiratory infection, which has it wheezing and rattling and he very much understands why Minnie was scared of it. It is not a pleasant sound and the infection is not at all helping how the creature smells. Animals smell at the best of times, but this rat clearly enjoys the sewers and ‘poopy-butt’ doesn't begin to cover how rancid it is.
Matt starts to work out what he needs to do to make sure this sick rodent stays far away from his family. If it has a nest, it will come back, so he needs to destroy that - without damaging the animal. He doesn't have the heart to actually hurt the thing.
He pulls out his billy clubs and snaps them together to make a bo staff, then moves to crouch in front of the dumpster. “Okay, sir, I'm here to evict you,” he says, more for Minnie’s benefit than anything. “You gotta go.”
He jabs at the nest of wet cardboard and almost immediately, the rat scurries out and hisses at him. It snaps its jaws at him a few times instead of running away and Matt huffs at the display, turning his staff towards the creature and swatting at it. “Get out of here.” To its credit, it tries to fight him, biting at his billy clubs and screeching at him, but after a few good thwacks to its side, it realizes it has no chance against him and dashes toward a nearby grate.
He listens to it go down into some pipes and once it's out of range, he tilts his head up towards Minnie, a smile starting to form in his lips, “The monster has been vanquished, my princess.”
His words make her giggle and he can't help but chuckle as well. He hears her push up into standing and she toddles towards the window. There's a table in front of it, so he knows she can't see out of it, but he knows she's trying to find him.
“He's not gonna come back?” She questions and in response he starts to break up the nest. He spreads the trash around, knocking things down and away. It's not a big very big rat den, relying heavily on the dumpster.
“He's not, he's gonna go find a new home,” he promises as he works, and once he's satisfied with his destruction, he collapses his billy clubs and holsters them. He pushes up into standing and steps away from the trash can.
“Far away?” Minnie asks and his heart breaks for her. The stupid animal must have terrified her.
“Very, very far away.”
He locates the fire escape and starts to scale it back up to your apartment floor. As he does, he starts closing off his senses again. Things begin to fade into the background - the things he will need to start teaching Minnie. She's got a good handle on it already, having learned to function with it instead of needing to adapt.
He's so proud. So unbelievably proud.
She's such a good and pure child. She always wants to help and asks about other people. She may be shy, but she's empathetic.
You've taught her well.
Matt understands how Minnie is a mini-him in her abilities and mannerisms due to those abilities, but her sweet nature is from you.
He knows he's gone for you.
Foggy has pointed it out. Karen has pointed it out. God has smacked him in the face with signs.
His realization moment was hearing a man purchasing an engagement ring for a woman who shared your name. He had gotten so furiously jealous he had to go take it out on the punching bag.
Foggy laughed so hard at him.
He doesn't think you noticed at all. It is nothing against you, he completely understands. You are like him - you don't think you deserve love. You had been painfully shy your first night together, as well, and he had been charmed by it.
He's angry at himself for letting you be a one night stand.
He should have been there when you needed him most.
He's not going to fuck that up again.
He pulls off his mask before making a show off popping up in front of your window and Minnie dissolves into giggles.
“Hi, Daddy!” She waves at him and he can tell she is absolutely beaming. He eagerly waves back and he knows he's matching her smile.
“Hi, Mouse.”
“Why are you outside?”
He's planned for this. He has discussed this with Foggy and Karen at length. He did the unthinkable - he asked Frank - who apparently knew who Minnie was before either Foggy or Karen did. They had attacked the question from all sides. As the firm. As friends. As parents.
They couldn't lie to Minnie. Matt can see the signs she's picking up on what different heart beats mean. She's going to know and there's nothing they can do to hide it. She can hear all of Hell’s Kitchen just as well as he can. It may not happen until she's older, but she'll figure it out.
So, he's not going to lie to her. He thinks you would approve. You don't like lying to her - you soften the truth into something she can comprehend. He's going to follow your lead.
“I'm working,” Matt answers, crouching on the rails and resting his wrists on his knees. He's suddenly very glad he had a very boring night. “What are you doing inside?”
Mouse accepts the answer and hugs her toy to her chest, swaying side to side “I'm talking to you.”
He laughs at her utter sweetness. She giggles along with him.
He gives a fond shake of his lead, then leans forward so she can see him a bit better, “What should you be doing, sweetheart?”
She scrunches up her face as she thinks, then she falls into a pout, “Sleeping.”
“Yeah, you should be sleeping. You're going to be tired tomorrow. It's not going to be fun,” he gently warns. He knows it isn't her fault, but he knows it will eventually help her learn to push those noises to the background.
“Okay, I'll go bed. I gotta clean up first. Mommy says …Mommy says don't leave it until morning. You'll make morning you sad. Be nice to morning you,” she recites, patting her hands against her stuffed animal - it's not Scooby or Pig. (He doesn't know this one. His best guess is it's a Raggedy-Anne type princess doll. His little girl loves princesses - no specific one, just the concept and aesthetic.)
He loves the values you are instilling in her. He's going to steal this mantra and tell it to Foggy and Karen.
“Okay. I'll keep watch for any monsters,” he tells her. This is one of the reasons he wants her to know the truth. He wants her to know her Daddy will protect her from all of the monsters.
“Okay. Thank you. Love you!” She chants, then turns away.
“I love you, too, Mouse. So much.”
And he will tell her every chance he gets.
She carefully walks back to where she had been sitting and turns off the television, then goes to put her toys away. Like always, she's very methodical about what she does. He could spend hours watching her play. She fascinates him. She picks up one toy at a time and tells it good night as she puts it back into her toy chest.
She doesn't have much to clean up and when she finishes, she turns to face him.
“Will you tuck me in? Please? Thank you?” Minnie asks like he can say no.
“Of course, my love. Are you all ready for bed?” He questions as he hops down onto the fire escape - one of the screws holding it together shakes and he decides he'll come back another night with a wrench to tighten everything up.
“All ready!” she confirms and he can tell she's watching him with great curiosity.
He begins to run his fingers over the edges of the window, searching for a way in. You certainly don't make it easy - you invested in apartment security and it takes him a moment to disable it. He's careful as he slides the window up and pops out the screen. He slips into the apartment, then quickly closes the window behind him, leaving the screen on the floor.
Minnie has the decency to wait until that moment to run to him with open arms. Matt scoops her up, swinging her a little before putting her on his hip and once she is settled, he leans down to press his forehead to hers.
“We have to be quiet, okay? We can't wake up, Mommy,” he tells her and she quickly nods in understanding.
He doesn't know what he'll do if you wake up and find him in your home - but luckily you are still in a deep sleep. As long as Minnie keeps calm, you should stay lost in Dreamland.
He kisses her forehead then starts towards the bedroom. She returns the affection, planting a big kiss on his cheek before she gently smacks him in the face with her doll with a quiet, “mwah!” Then, she flops against his shoulder, using him as a pillow.
He has to fight back a pleased huff - his little angel is so sweet. He'll never get sick of getting kisses from her toys - it's so loving and innocent and he is greedy for any and all affection.
Your bedroom is a good twenty degrees cooler than the rest of the apartment - there's a fan going and accompanying it is a little window unit blowing in cold air. It feels like Heaven in the blistering heat that is the rest of the city. The chill seems to suck the consciousness from Mouse - she gives a big dramatic yawn, smacking her lips against his neck. Her body slumps into him and he rubs her back encouragingly.
He crosses the room carefully, hyper aware of any toys that may have found their way to the floor post-bedtime. It absolutely breaks his heart to have to pull her away from him and she does try to stay clinging to him - not fighting him just resistant - but she ends up in her bed and under her covers. He doesn't know if he would have had the strength to force her to let go if she really did want to stay in his arms.
He helps her adjust her sleeping headband so it is around her eyes and ears, then kisses her cheek one final time, “ready for sleep?”
The response is a barely there nod and Matt can't help but feel so much love for his daughter. Being able to conk right out as soon as she's comfortable shows how much she trusts him. His little girl is always so wary and subtly alert.
He's going to cherish this moment forever.
“Love you, Mouse.” He whispers.
“Luvo, Daffy,” is what it sounds like she says as she rolls to bury her face into her pillow. A moment later she is snoring.
Matt allows a few tears to fall before wiping them away and turning his attention to you. You have nested yourself under your blankets, breath hitching every so often. He's learned over time from various people this usually means bad dreams - not nightmares but things that can leave you shaken.
He doesn't dare move closer to try to soothe you with touch - that would certainly wake you up.
Instead, he promises, “I'll chase all your monsters away, too.”
tags:
@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 
 @petrovafire39 @allllium
@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt
@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374
@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @
Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 
@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium 
@
two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04  @ astridstark13
 @lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday
533 notes · View notes