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inlocusmads · 3 months

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so apparently PB has a book solely for their Indian audiences called 'the promise of forever' and being an Indian, of course I played it, like about a million times (mostly because it is a short read, I can get 15 diamonds) and I have some thoughts:

(if you don't wish to play the book, go ahead because there will be 'spoilers'?? it is a short book, so not really plot-twisty-things are involved)

firstly, the concept of arranged marriage depicted in the book feels like they watched 'Indian Matchmaking' on netflix and decided to cash in on that opportunity. The show in itself is very exaggerated and has many well-warranted criticisms towards it and you shouldn't take the concept of how matchmaking works in India from that show alone. It feels tone-deaf to the actual industry in India, its problems and so on. Now I don't really hold PB to a strickler for accuracy, but to market a book towards an Indian demographic and not do some proper research feels very.. weird

THE OUTFITS. for an indian family that is so hellbent on arranged marriages and their choice as gospel, it is funny how we get off-shoulder tops and glittery cocktail dresses. nowhere in actual hell would a family approve of wearing an off-shoulder top to a meeting with the son-in-law's family, like in the name of everything holy, PB, if you want to talk about how "orthodox" the MC's family is, you can't just reject this one key detail!!!

the love interest is an absolute piece of shit, by the way.

most accurate thing about this is the dad not giving a fuck about their first meeting, I love that (by the way, they used Dr Banerji's sprite and it is so fucking weird)

Also why the New York setting? I know a lot of first-gen immigrant parents do adhere to the arranged-marriage route but why New York though? While Hindu-Americans and Hindus in India usually share the same heritage, it doesn't mean their upbringing and the surroundings around them don't play a key role in how they perceive things. PB had an opportunity to really look into this, talking about culture-clashes but the book isn't too far different. You could have it in Kozhikode and it would still be.. the same.

All the more reason I think PB watched one episode of Indian Matchmaking and decided to just make this book and be like 'yay, we are going to write something for our Indian demographic and of course they'd relate to it! Oh wait-- you mean Indians in India and Indians in New York may have different experiences that can't be amalgamated into one? You mean I can't do this? That we need a sensitivity reader? Nah fuck that!' it is so fucking insulting.

Also Rishi's character (rishi is the love interest; yes, he is the only love interest; yes it's a 'he'; yes, there's no goc but points for realism I guess) is so not done well. Personally, yes, there's a preference towards cis men in Indian society - they're treated well, they're basically at the top of the food chain, but at the same time, the way he is that arrogant would NOT bode well with his family or MC's family. Like Harvard or not, he would be dropped right away. I know it is a common misconception that in Indian society, it's common for people to not take 'personality' into account while selecting a possible match for someone and it's all about their educational background, how much money they make, etc, but that's all in the past.

Arranged marriages in Hindu culture isn't always equated to abusive marriages or partners who are downright pieces of shits. Personality is a big BIG part and technically, MC should have a say. Doesn't matter if she's doing it for her parents, it is MC's life. And it isn't like the matchmaker runs out of options either. She probably has an armful of biodahtahs (if you get that reference, I am giving you a million cookies) and if Rishi isn't a match, they'd move onto the next one.

(Also it is ridiculously funny how 'arranged marriage' tropes in Western culture is equated to the 'closed proximity' trope but when you throw a couple of Indians in there, it is toxified ten-fold. Great job PB)

Now you could be like, "but Mads, it's a realistic portrayal of South Asian culture. Toxic arranged marriages do exist!" and I'm not negating that. But it would have been an empowering story if that were the plot and Rishi was a piece of shit as the narrative made him to be and MC found a way out.

But nope.

She marries him.

For a company that markets itself to be progressive, this book sure is a massive downgrade. It doesn't just villanize a character, it demonizes the whole culture. It reduces a culture to its stereotypes, even if the industry of arranged marriages in India has grown overtime and Indian society as a whole has become progressive in the past years. Or even better, Indian culture and tradition continuing to be associated with 'creepy, misogynstic men with an attitude problem' when in reality, we should be holding the person or the induvidual accountable, like how we do with actual misogynists. PB is doing an unimaginable horror here by saying this is 'accurate representation'.

The most unrealistic thing to happen is this exchange:

No Indian turns DOWN food. Please PB get this thing right. Like I don't care if Rishi is the worst person ever or if he claims himself to be the "rudest asshole in existence"; nobody turns down fucking home-cooked food. We'll just revoke their Indian citizenship entirely.

This whole portrayal of these two characters feels so... 90s. It's like they went to ChatGPT and asked them to type a script of a Bollywood masala movie with the snobby hero getting the girl in the end. I cannot believe this is an actual thing.

ALSO WHY IS THE MAIN CHARACTER READING INTO A LITERAL ABUSIVE PERSONALITY AS ROMANTIC? I know Choices MCs have a history of that, but this is downright disappointing. Also once again, a massive 'L' in terms of the 'representation' they want to bring out. They gave MC an American upbringing, sprinkling in coriander-bits of Indian culture and it feels so patrionizing. This romanticization of toxic marriages is not 'totes adorbs'. It isn't cute. it isn't 'enemies to lovers'.

Here's a crash course in arranged marriages for you, PB:

Arranged marriages do not always end in abuse. The reason why it is popular in India, from an oversimplified way, is due to the fact that India is pretty diverse. There's tons of religions, belief sects and languages spoken and it started as a way to 'preserve people's traditions'.

While there have been problematic things about it (inter-faith marriages are frowned upon; how religion also breeds a lot of intolerance, etc) arranged marriages are done even today is to eliminate uncertainty, bring about convenience and is deeply rooted in the history of the culture as a whole.

At the same time, in modern-day society, Indians like the rest of the fucking world, have a no-tolerance policy for abusive relationships. In an ideal lens, the parents would be as involved as the MC in her marriage to Rishi. It is seldom for a modern-day-21-st-century parent to not notice the red flags. Also weird for MC to not notice it either - resorting to "oh it's just a difference of opinion" when she is clearly educated, living in America and that too New-fucking-York and still resorting to a 80s, 90s mindset.

Representation doesn't have to always be "morally good". You can have terrible Indian characters, not terribly-written Indian characters. It just needs to be plausible within modern times. That's why they call it an accurate representation. And it needs to portray the culture as it is, without the stereotypes, without the constant romanticisation of something actually terrible (i.e Rishi's poor attitude and borderline abusive personality) and associating it with the culture and calling that representation.

There are so many areas PB could have focused on in this brief book or "improved" their Indian representation:

It could be about how MC deals with being a first-gen immigrant (I assume she is) or Rishi's own qualms with fulfilling his dead father's requests of 'settling down' but finding meaning outside of the marital sphere.

It could just be about an arranged marriage NOT working out. Instead of it being played for as 'enemies to lovers', it could be about MC seeing the red flags and getting out of it and that could be her journey of embracing her culture but also be able to call out and avoid things that are damaging to her life.

Or even a book set in India minus the marriage tropes. It could just be about how MC is dealing with the 'American dream' versus trying to stay at home and staying connected to their culture. This is a real thing that's happening right now; how many Indians migrate to America looking for a new life and the moral argument that arises from it.

Heck even a MaH-themed book where queer themes are discussed through Indian perspectives.

The actual problematic undertones associated with arranged marriage culture and providing thoughtful commentary without demonizing Indian culture as a whole.

It kind of sucks that PB - even though did no advertising for this book - still uses this as a flag to tell people they write diverse stories, when really, it's once again the same stereotypical shit we've been dealing with for so many years. It's Apu from the Simpsons multiplied tenfold but takes itself too seriously and threatens us that it's 'good representation'. It also sucks that once again, Indian culture is reduced to 'daal-eating, arranged marriage'ing, orthodox rude uncles, Kama Sutra chemistry' and market it TOWARDS INDIANS which is the absolute rudest thing I have ever seen, ever.

If you've read until here, I appreciate you taking the time to do this. This is just a rant and of course, from my own personal point of view and of course opinions are going to vary. But this ain't it, PB. Shove this AI-arted cover up your rear end.

But I do want to compile a list of resources for you/additional reading if you want to see an accurate portrayal of South Asian culture:

how to name your south asian character

things to keep in mind while writing a south asian character

how 'indian matchmaking' perpetuates harmful stereotypes

the actual reality of arranged marriages

american-born confused desis and representation (reddit thread)

#mads rants about stuff #the promise of forever #choices pixelberry #choices

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