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burntoutdaydreamer · 6 months

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Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

#writing #creative writing #writer problems #writing advice #writing community #writing a book #writing problems #novel writing #on writing #writing tips #writing help #writers on tumblr #writers block #female writers #writers of tumblr #writers blog #adhd writer

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soupandsimple · 7 months

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SIRIUS’S SON

* your son gazing at you lovingly just like Sirius does

* going through the drafts and had a sudden burst of inspiration for this video I had saved!!! YOU’RE WELCOME 😭

……..…

Noooo because being somewhat accustomed to Sirius just always adoringly staring at you for absolutely no reason other than the fact that he loves you and then having to get used to his mini looking at you the same exact way!

You’re cooking a little mac and cheese meal for your little boy and have him all set up in his high chair so he won’t go getting into trouble now that he’s toddling. Sirius then comes in from getting the mail and sets it on the kitchen counter and sees the look in his son’s eyes. There’s no questioning what who he’s looking at and can’t help but join him at the perfect spot for viewing said thing person.

Now standing behind the high chair, Sirius places a kiss on the boy’s little head.

“She’s amazing isn’t she…” Sirius speaks to his son as his own eyes fixate on you similarly, if not exactly, the same way your son has his.

You turn from your stirring upon hearing the indirect compliment and smile when you see the pair of them looking at you with warm, dreamy looks.

“Oh stop, he’s just happy about the mac and cheese he’s going to get, aren’t you handsome boy?” you say, directing the last words to your baby.

“Doll, you could be making goop and we’d still be looking at you the same way. You’re our goddess, what do you expect?” Sirius comments with a wink.

“Isn’t that right kid?” he then says to his son who’s smiley gaze is still very much fixed on you. <3

#sirius black x reader #dad!sirius black #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #short visual thoughts

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cryptidghostgirl · 2 months

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Make You Wish Chapter Four -- Vox

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: I don't think there are any for this chapter? Correct me if I am wrong.

Word Count: 1,225

Previous Part: Chapter Three -- A Reunion

Master Lists

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Make You Wish Master List

A/N I wasn't planning on posting this until tomorrow, but it seems to have some rather excited fans so here is chapter four (and the fourth thing I'm publishing today. We're very done for the day. I am tried and have actual work to do.) Also guys, I'm screaming. I accidentally deleted the whole things right before I was gonna post it. Thankfully I had a draft from when it was almost done save but like, god that sucked.

On the screen was Vox, seated behind a desk.

"Top of the hour and we're discussing a certain has-been how has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven year absence." Vox was saying, a poorly drawn image of Alastor displayed on the screen to his left.

Y/n saw Alastor's ear twitch with irritation.

"Yeah." she sighed, folding her arms across her chest, "Vox has gone kinda crazy since you left. I told you, things got tough."

"Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program." Vox said through the TV, shuffling a stack of papers.

Alastor changed the channel with another flick of his finger.

"Hun, don't worry yourself with it." Y/n advised, "He's still gonna be there tomorrow."

The new channel showed a talk-show set up, Vox-2-Nite, where Vox was both host and guest.

"So, the old Radio Demon is back in town." host Vox was saying to himself as guest.

"Why is he hanging around?" guest Vox asked, taking a sip from a mug that had 'fuck Alastor' written on the side.

"Al." Y/n warned, sensing her friends irritation growing.

"What does that mean for your family?" Host Vox asked before Alastor changed the channel again.

Vox was on the screen again, before a bright red curtain.

"Well, handily, I've got good news." he was saying theatrically, "He's a loser, a fossil, and I don't mean to sound hostel-"

Alastor changed the channel again. This time to one of Vox's mega church broadcasts. Vox stood in the center of the screen wearing a pope's hat with an inverted cross on it.

"But the demon is a coward!" he announced, his words matching the previous channels sentiments perfectly.

"Jesus, V." Y/n asked, eyes wide, "How many channels are you running this on?"

"You can take that as gospel. Pulling my viewers? Impossible. I'm visual, he's barely audible."

"Y/n." Alastor hummed, his eyes still fixed on the screen.

"Yeah?"

"You wont mind if I handle this quickly. We can have our little chat after, I promise. It wont take more than a moment."

"I don't know, Al..." Y/n sighed, crossing her arms and tapping her foot slightly, "This isn't good for you, letting him get under your skin like this."

Alastor changed the channel again. A cooking show appeared and Vox was standing before the oven, singing along to the music playing in the background.

"But he should've stayed away! While he hid in radio, we pivoted to video!"

Vox on screen turned to the oven as he sang, opening it and pulling out a deer's head on a plate. Y/n bristled at the site, her horns growing just the tiniest bit longer, her teeth just the smallest bit sharper.

"And now his medium is getting bloody rare!"

"Al?" Y/n asked sharply.

"Yes, darling?"

"I lied." Y/n turned to face him, "He took this shit musical. Rip him a new one."

"Oh!" Millie exclaimed, excitedly grabbing onto Moxxie's arm, "We're gonna get a show!"

Alastor's grin widened at Y/n's words, if that was even possible. He stuck his hand out to the side, his microphone materializing in his grasp.

"Lucky for me, I've got the best voice this side of the divide on my side." he noted, shooting Y/n a look.

Her eyes flashed red.

"You flatter me."

Alastor brought his microphone to his mouth, suddenly exceedingly calm. The imps present in the room watched in shock as his ears flattened along his head.

"Salutations, good to be back on the air!" he announced into the device, "Yes I know it's been a while since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast. Sinners rejoice!"

Vox's brow furrowed on the TV screen as he inched up close to the camera.

"What a dated voice." Vox shot back, clearly listening to Alastor's broadcast on the set of his cooking show.

"Instead of a clout chasing, mediocre, video podcast." Alastor continued, not showing any sign he had noticed the TV demon's insult, "Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?"

"Ignore his chirping!" Vox commanded from the TV.

Y/n laughed and, turning to face Alastor, realized the man held a hand out to her. With a smile, she took it and he spun her into his arms as he spoke. The music echoed through the office as Alastor raised the volume on the TV once again.

"Every day he's got a new format."

Alastor spun Y/n back out again as the pair began dancing.

"You're looking at the future!" Vox yelled back, "He's the shit that comes before that!"

As Alastor spun Y/n back into his arms, she laid one of her hands on top of his holding the microphone and pulled it closer to her face.

"Is Vox as strong as he purports, or is it based on his support?" she sang in a clear voice, Blitzo, Millie, and Moxxie's eyes widening with recognition at the sound, "He'd be powerless without the other Vees."

"That's true!" Alastor noted, pulling the microphone back to himself as Y/n let go of his hand and he spun her back out again.

"It can't be..." Moxxie muttered under his breath.

"Holy shit!" Millie cut him off, excitement creeping into her voice, "There's no way, Y/n is the guest star?"

"The fuck are you two talking about?" Blitzo asked, turning to Millie and Moxxie as they watched the couple continue to dance.

"Well, Sir," Moxxie began, fiddling with the cuffs of his jacket, "back before the Radio Demon went missing, he used to bring guests onto the show on occasion. There was one guest he never named during his broadcasts however. She mostly just sang songs and chatted with him but, she sounded an awful lot like Y/n did just now."

"You don't say." Blitzo hummed, his arms crossed as he turned back to Y/n and Alastor, "So much for little miss 'oh, my life has been so boring. You'd probably just fall asleep if I started talking about it!' She is so gonna get it later."

Alastor let go of Y/n's hand and leaned into the microphone, beginning to sing as well, using the music emanating from the TV as a base.

"And here's the sugar on the cream: he asked me to join his team!"

"Hold on!" Vox yelled.

"I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea!" Alastor finished, ignoring the demon once again.

"You old timey prick!" Vox exclaimed, his face glitching slightly as Y/n wandered back over to Alastor.

She leaned an elbow on his shoulder, tilting her head to the side in amusement as they watched Vox struggle.

"I'll show you suffering!"

"Aww, the TV is buffering." Y/n said, leaning into the microphone, her voice dripping with sickly sweet pity.

"I'll destroy yoo-o-u-u" Vox exclaimed as his technical difficulties seemed to grow worse.

Alastor and Y/n exchanged a wicked pair of smiles as the TV flickered out. Shadows crept from the edges of the room, encircling their feet. Alastor held an arm out to Y/n once again which she took with a smile. In a flash of darkness, they were gone.

"What the fuck was that?" Loona asked, stalking into the room.

----

Next Part -> Chapter Five -- The Conversation

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matrixbearer2024 · 2 months

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Enough With The Schemes!

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: Ngl I kinda had this in my drafts just because I didn't know how it'd ever fit into the story but I decided to fix it up and post it after @vespers-night-sky's fanart for the "Get Off My Screen" Series- the direct continuation and reader's death is in the works folks, I've just been trying to figure out the pacing ahsojskqjds- I am not gonna be a Hazbin Hotel episode jkjkjk Anyway, thank you thank you THANK YOU ALL for the support with the series and think of these little things as filler episodes before the big reveal. Anyways, as usual- happy reading and I hope you all enjoy! The series in it's entirety can be found on my blog under the #Get Off My Screen Series

You didn't know how much more of Vox's shenanigans you could take.

First it had been the wallpaper war-

Until now you couldn't stop his face from being a permanent fixture to your devices-

But it was fine, he could have that!

You lamented over not having [Favorite Fictional Character Name] in your backgrounds anymore but you know what it was fineeeee-

You honestly couldn't tell if having his glitchy grinning face was an upgrade or cringe central.

Then he figured out how to absolutely lag out your computer at some point.

You seriously wanted to punch his monitor head from frustration because of it.

Especially when he had the nerve to laugh at your irritation-

This asshole-!

Now, he was absolutely blowing up your phone and devices with memes or just anything under the sun.

Not that messing with the notification settings would help-

Because somehow he'd figured out how to completely bypass those too.

If this was why that Alastor guy and Vox had a tiff you could practically relate.

Your phone just continued to buzz and vibrate on the table next to you.

Not that you could be fucked with it at the moment trying to cram a paper your professor assigned last BLOODY MINUTE!

That was of course until the Vox desktop companion grabbed the cursor and just didn't let you have it back.

As much as you tried, the darn thing only emoted angrily and refused to give you back the damn arrow.

Your eye twitched as you tried to maintain your cool, only to get up from the desk and scream obscenities to no one in particular.

The day had been a particularly bad one and you really just couldn't deal with Vox's bullshit right now.

"Helloooooo! HELLOOOOOOO?! Earth to (Y/N)! Pick up your fucking phone!!!"

Oh for the love of god he better not have changed your ringtone too-

You rubbed your face in an attempt to calm down before finally checking your phone.

Honestly you expected it to be something really stupid, but seeing what his messages were about made you feel slightly guilty for ignoring him the whole day.

Vox grew used to the routine you both had, so it was no surprise that your sudden inactivity drove his anxiety up the walls.

Poor guy thought of all the worst possible cases that could've happened to you-

He'd greet you in the morning and you would always reply afterwards while eating breakfast.

Save for the times you'd gotten sick or just felt under the weather.

After all, you had classes in the morning and he had broadcasts to air.

You also hated being tardy, similar to how he saw punctuality as something extremely important.

The two of you would intermittently chat within the day and tell each other if you had work to do so you both could leave each other alone for a designated time.

Vox often didn't adhere to this, but he'd always keep his distractions to a minimum if you asked.

Actually neither did you, sometimes you'd be the one spam sending him anything you could think of just to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Then you would wish him a good night's rest and he would eventually reply back with a silly gif or emoji that bode you the same.

He just grew used to it, the familiarity of your companionship in his monotonous day to day.

So whenever something fell apart in the routine you both had, Vox couldn't help but worry that something happened to you.

Whether you'd gotten sick or just anything worse-

It didn't sit well with him when you didn't reply to his morning message like you often did.

Constantly checking his phone for any updates from you to find nothing.

Zilch, none, zero.

The worrying feeling only grew as time ticked onwards.

Even at your busiest you would still shoot him a memo saying that you were.

Which only made this radio silence-

Haha see what I did there-

Worse than it really was.

So what did Vox do?

Absolutely blow up your phone and devices trying to get your attention.

Only when he realized you were doing something on your laptop did he let the desktop companion he made for you interfere.

Not that he even really understood what he'd stuck his hands into.

"What the hell even happened to you today? You didn't even reply to any of my fucking messages! I thought something happened to you!"

"Well SORRY I couldn't reply to your terminally online ass. I was busy dealing with my shitty assignment workload."

The TV overlord quickly picked up that you weren't in a pleasant mood.

The way you typed was just a dead giveaway.

Glancing up at his schedule, Vox notified his secretary to cancel a few of his meetings before he replied to you.

"Anything I can help you with? I'm free for a good few hours."

You were taken aback by his offer, every time Vox would help you he didn't even bother asking.

He just straight up started editing whatever you were working on no matter what you said.

Who was this guy and what did he do with Vox-

"You aren't trying to bullshit me are you? Cuz I'm not in the mood."

"I can tell dollface, let me guess- your shitty professor again?"

You ended up ranting about the abruptly given assignment and just a bunch of other things that slowly ruined your day.

Vox just agreed with you here and there, shooting one word replies or emojis to show he was still listening.

All the while he made the desktop companion let go of your cursor and he looked over your work.

Wow your writing was still absolutely shit-

"So now I've gotta submit this fucking paper before midnight or I'll get a 40% deduction."

"Don't worry about it, we can finish this in an hour. Anything else?"

It was an economics paper you were struggling on and this was Vox you were talking to.

You shouldn't have been surprised that he already knew his way around the topic.

You glanced up from your phone and already saw him editing your essay.

Why didn't you just ask him for help sooner??

"I think I can handle the rest. Thanks anyway, mind if I put on some music while I write?"

"As long as I get to pick some of the songs."

"Deal."

It shouldn't have done anything really.

You shouldn't be having this funny feeling in your gut.

A fuzzy warmth that bloomed because Vox was so quick to drop everything and help you.

Even if it was just something minor like your paper.

Still, you couldn't help but smile as you put on some relaxing tunes and typed away alongside your favorite digital companion.

Just like that, you both melted back into the usual cycle of talking and working.

A casual harmony that you were more than happy to just live in for the moment.

BONUS:

Both you and Vox were just casually chatting by the time his secretary called him away for the scheduled broadcast.

Of course, you wished you could see what he was actually doing but stopped before you could say so.

Instead you just wished Vox well in the broadcast.

"Of course doll, and you know me! I'll be just fine."

Well, his broadcast was going fine-

Until his screen suddenly glitched and randomly played a tune from your playlist.

Had he forgotten to unlink himself from your devices?

It took a few seconds for Vox to compose himself but his show thankfully went on without another hitch.

You on the other hand?

You were just having a personal concert in your room to unwind while waiting for Vox to come back.

So it came as a surprise when the song you played randomly paused and made the Bluetooth disconnect sound.

You didn't connect it to anything-?

Though your questions were eventually answered when Vox blew up your phone again.

This time you couldn't help but laugh.

You were friends with a demonic overlord sure-

But it was hard to fear him when he was such a doofus.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #vox x you #Get Off My Screen Series

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hunnylagoon · 3 months

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Right Where You Left Me

Pt 4: The Sweetest Thing to Ever Scare You (Finale)

Ellie Williams x reader

I remember when I first saw you. I remember looking into your warm almond eyes and feeling butterflies in my stomach. But soon, when I looked into your eyes, I no longer felt the same warmth that I once knew. It felt as though you had killed all of the butterflies inside my stomach but yet, I still loved you.

Premise: You and Ellie are childhood best friends until you drift apart. Funny thing about soulmates is they tend to find their way back to each other. You and Ellie try to end the tireless war between you.

Warnings: Angst / drinking / violence / not really religious mentions in this one

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three over here!

Guys I thought I posted this two days ago but I actually just saved it to drafts. Sorry for being an idiot lmao

I think that I have unlearned how to love.

That’s not even a word but there is no other way to tell you that I have turned myself cold.

Without partying to distract me and religion to fill in gaps of emptiness, I isolate myself and begin to write once again. I'm almost certain that my body has been telling me to write, that I need to pour myself into art as opposed to a girl I was friends with a million years ago.

I figure that I need to create rather than destroy but it might take me a while to do so.

The morning after I abandoned my faith on the church floor, I had woken up and expected Ellie to be gone, however, she was wide awake and playing subway surfers on her phone. Her hair is messy and her eyes are half-lidded.

She turns to look at me when she feels the shuffling of the bedsheets; despite her doing nothing more than smile at me it is like an understanding passed between us, war is over.

Almost.

It's like I've forgotten how to be soft, I can't manage to get the words out that I need to, and the thought of it alone makes me cringe. "Breakfast?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.

Ellie passes on it and I awkwardly excuse myself, saying that I got called in to take a brunch shift at work. Of course, this is not true. What I do is get into my car and drive and drive until I get mad at myself for burning gas.

The war between Ellie and I had ended but it didn't register in my head, I almost fell in love with it. Without the constant arguing and passive aggressiveness, there was nothing to put a wall between us and I wasn't ready to be vulnerable again.

So I begin to feed Ellie the ugliest parts of me; I show her everything I'm sure she will hate but she doesn't, she's patient and shows me the kindness I have been looking everywhere for. Still, I am cold to her, I don't know what else to do.

I try to push her away all over again but this time, she doesn't let me. Ellie comes into my room when I'm studying to sit on my bed so that she can be in proximity to me. Sometimes she'll ask me if I want to go for a walk or a late-night gas station run, all of the things we used to do.

When I'm angry at her, she lets it happen, she won't escalate the fight all she does is apologize and does what she can to fix it. Everything feels like it's in order again, Joel even starts to send me little text messages to check in on me and sends me Facebook memes that make him think of me.

As of now, we are setting up for Dina's twenty-first birthday. The living room, typically a space for casual gatherings and movie nights, had undergone a transformation. Vibrant streamers adorned the walls, and an array of balloons in assorted hues scattered themselves along the floor "Are balloons too childish?" Abby asks as she walks out of her bedroom.

"They better not be after I just spent half an hour doing all of these," Cat answers, giving her a scornful glare.

"They look great, Cat," I smile and give her a thumbs-up from where I am in the kitchen dumping bags of chips into bowls. "Should I make a veggie platter?"

Cat furrows her eyebrows "If you can finish it by yourself, sure."

"Cat, we aren't children, adults eat vegetables," Abby takes a seat on the couch behind Cat, investigating the hard work she's put into making the living room look nice for just one night "Isn't it weird that Dina is organizing her own surprise party?"

I shrug, placing a wooden cutting board down on the kitchen counter "I don't blame her, I don't think we've always been one hundred percent reliable, me specifically."

"But it's not a surprise if she knows about it."

"So?" Cat asks.

"So why are we calling it a surprise party if it isn't a surprise?"

"Why not?"

"Well, why can't we just call it a party?"

"I don't think it matters," I cut in, I begin to peel carrots and slice them up into quarters. Ellie comes out of her bedroom, she took a nap after completing her physics presentation, her hair in a messy bun, and she's in her typical pyjama uniform of sweats and a hoodie. "Hey, Ellie," I smile at her.

She rubs some sleep away from her green eyes "Hey," Ellie walks over to the kitchen island where I slice and chop vegetables and sits right in front of me. Even half asleep she looks like a statue of marble carved by a skilled hand.

Abby raises an eyebrow, asking 'When did you guys become friends?' without saying it and then it hits me like the plane in Lost. Ellie still hasn't told anyone about our history, our sixteen years of friendship is invisible to the eyes of those who think they know us well.

I'm broken from my thoughts when Abby speaks up "When are you picking up the cake?"

My heart drops "I'm not?"

Cat and Abby cast one another side glances while Ellie snatches a cucumber off my cutting board "Dina was handing out duties and you said you would take care of the cake."

I freeze, unsure of what to say "Nuh-uh." I shake my head like a child denying blame for breaking her mother's favourite dish.

"Yuh-huh," Cat shoots back. "How could you forget that?"

My mind fumbles for an excuse and somehow I land on "I forgot because I went temporarily insane from Lyme disease," What am I saying? "I got Lyme disease because I go camping in secret," I don't camp "And I never told you guys that I go camping because I'm deeply ashamed of it."

Now everyone looks perpetually confused, Ellie included "What are you talking about?" Abby asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay-well," I place my knife flat on the counter by the wooden cutting board, ignoring the odd spiel I just went on "I'm going to drive to-

"You dropped your car off for a suspension repair yesterday," Abby reminds me.

"Ellie is going to drive me to get a cake," I correct myself "I will be back to finish making my veggie plate." I quickly rinse my hands before grabbing Ellie's keys from the little jewelry dish on the island and yank the sleeve of her hoodie to pull her along.

Ellie doesn't say anything, she slips into some Crocs and we walk outside to her car. "Where are we headed?"

"Uh, hang on," In Ellie's passenger seat, I go on Google Maps to look up the closest bakeries that are still open at this hour, there are two, one a couple of streets away and the other one is across town and closing in twenty minutes. "Infectious Confections," I wrinkle my nose "That's a weird fucking name."

While Ellie tries to make conversation in the car I only speak when giving her directions to the bakery. She knows something is up and I can tell by the way she keeps glancing at me. I just can't manage to get it out of my head that she's still keeping me a secret.

She pulls up to the bakery and I get out before she even turns her car off, she pulls the keys out of the ignition and trails behind me through the doors.

The bakery itself was rustic and clean, there were two display cases and tills one of the displays held danishes, croissants, cookies, scones and whatever those little swirly flakey things are called. The other display had a big chalk menu above it that read 'Cakery' Though what was in the display case was very sparse.

"Hi," I walk up to the till, putting on the friendly smile and customer service voice that I usually only use at work. "This is pretty short notice but I was wondering if you had any cakes left or if I could get one made for today?"

The guy behind the counter is a scrawny teenager who looks like he has had a long enough day of dealing with annoying customers "We close in half an hour, there's not enough time to bake and decorate a cake." He explains it like he's said this to a million people, he's bored of the same phrases that his manager has scripted out for him.

"Any shot that someone didn't pick up their cake?" I ask, fingers crossed in the hope that he says yes.

"Let me talk to my manager," His voice drags on, and he turns around and disappears through a commercial kitchen door. I wait patiently, hands balled together in front of me as I rock back and forth on my heels. A minute or two later he comes back holding a bright blue cake with pink detailing of bows and mustaches, there's text on it that reads 'It's a...' gender reveal cake. "This is all we have left, they cancelled last minute.

I look back at Ellie to get her opinion, her eyebrows are furrowed slightly "Maybe we good just get some of those cupcakes and smush them together and smear the icing so it looks like a cake."

I wave her off "I'll buy it," I say this only because it is 5:41 and with each passing minute I am growing desperate, also I don't want Jesse to be disappointed that I fumbled the cake and ruined his girlfriend's birthday.

Angsty teenager puts the bright blue monstrosity into a cake box and charges me an absurd total for it, I bitterly tap my card on the machine.

As I walk back out to Ellie's car I take a brief moment to look at the sky, it's the same hue as cotton candy and looks as if it had been projected from a watercolour painting, even after I get back into the car and Ellie begins to blast her old dad rock songs, I can't tear my eyes away from it.

After five minutes of silence from my end, Ellie finally asks the question that's been burning into the forefront of her brain "Why are you being weird?"

"Why haven't you told anyone that we met before we moved in together?"

Her dark eyebrows furrow "You haven't told anyone either-

"Yes, I have."

"Who?"

"Yara, Stacy, Kayla, Mitch, Nigel, Carmen, literally everyone from my work," I admit "I just haven't told people who know you personally so it can't make its way back to you because you clearly don't want people to know."

She falls silent, searching her mind for the right words. She clutches the steering wheel tight and looks dead ahead at the car's bumper-to-bumper ahead of us. "I just know how to slip it into conversation."

"I don't think it's that hard, you can just say that we were friends, you don't need to give an intricate play-by-play of everything that happened."

"Why is it important that people know if we're cool again?"

I turn my head to slowly look at her "You are the one who always said 'If we don't have honesty, we have nothing at all'," I point out.

Silence strings between us again, I almost want to throw up.

'We're cool again' Nope, not anymore, we are so very far from cool. Instead of Ellie casting me little glances as she had on the ride there, she ignores my presence almost completely while I glare daggers at her. Was she embarrassed by me? When we went to lunch together why did she lie to Dina about where she was? When she slept in my bed why did Cat ask me if I knew why Ellie came home at eight AM with nothing, not even a key? Did she crawl through my bedroom window to walk around to the front door and pretend she was just getting home?

AND WHY DIDN'T I CALL HER OUT?

She was keeping me a secret and that realization hurt worse than any injury I had ever suffered. She hasn't even told her dead who practically raised me that we lived together.

God, we weren't even anything and she was keeping me under wraps like I was some disgraceful secret that she would get shamed for holding. The very second she approached our house, I got out of her car, she hadn't even stopped it completely but cake in hand, I hopped out of her car door and didn't look back.

I think I've had my fair share of partying.

After that month-long bender I had where I went to clubs every night and replaced food with vodka, I never wanted to even look at another solo cup full of liquor. Instead of drinking, smoking, or doing karaoke, I hide from Ellie.

I hide from her in conversations and sometimes sneak into my bedroom just to get a bit of breathing room from all of the strangers in my house. Wherever Ellie was, I was not. If she was outside, I was inside, if she was in the living room, I was in the kitchen enjoying my veggie platter.

Have you ever been the only sober person around in a group of people? If the answer is no, have you ever babysat a houseful of toddlers? Because it's just about the same thing.

When I'm not hiding from the girl who wriggled her way back into my good graces just to trip herself off the podium, I'm cleaning up, protecting our furniture, holding back hair as girls I've never met sob into the toilet, and stopping the drunk from doing stupid things.

"Hey, buddy," I take my can of hairspray that this frat-adjacent man is holding behind an ignited lighter "I don't think you would look good as a burn victim," His friends moan in disappointment as I do so, they were very excited to see a makeshift flamethrower; I wasn't in the mood to have my house burn down, or have a guy with peach fuzz waste my thirty dollar hair spray.

Thirty dollars?

Note to self for later: Make smarter spending choices (And smarter relationship choices!).

I felt a tap on my shoulder only to turn around and see Dina, she wasn't drunk, just tipsy "Smile!" She holds up a camera to her eye and clicks the shudder button before I even have a chance to react the flash goes off. A large Polaroid begins to print out, Dina snatches it and shakes it until you can see my silhouette, my eyes are wide, my hair flying behind me from the quick turn of my head and I'm holding a can of hairspray angled to look like I'm going to spray the camera with it "Cute!" She smiles, tucking it into her pocket for later "Wait, I want a group picture of the roommates."

Dina takes my hand and pulls me to one of the couches where Ellie and Abby sit with some guy, she shoes him to get up and drags Cat over to replace him, she stands me in between Ellie and Abby and lightly pushes me down to sit wedged between the two.

"Jesse, please do not do me dirty with this picture," She hands the pink Polaroid camera to her boyfriend and quickly ushers herself to the far left of the couch where she bends over to kiss Cat on the cheek for the picture. Ellie and I are stiff and awkward when the flash goes off.

After the picture is taken, Ellue turns to face me just the slightest "Hey, I think we should talk-

"I think it's time for cake!" I push myself off the couch and usher myself to the kitchen.

I pull the cake out of the fridge, looking at what I had done to salvage it; Below the part that said 'It's a...' I wrote '21 year old!' in chocolate pre-made Betty Crocker icing that I had in the fridge for months, it didn't look the best, but it could've been worse.

Dina, of course, cackles when she sees it. To her, it is the funniest thing she's seen all night. I stick the candles in and light it with the light I confiscated from peach fuzz frat boy and push the cake towards Dina after tucking the light back into my pocket, she is illuminated in the glow of iPhone flash all filming her.

"Make a wish!"

Age Sixteen- Grade 11

I think back to how embarrassing it felt to be thoughtful.

How fragile I felt when I would share my feelings and how frail I seem when I do it now. Ellie was always tougher than I was, in rugby, in fights, just in general. That's why I figured she would be taking it better than me when I cut contact, once again I have been proven wrong.

"Conner, can we please just leave?" I pleaded with my then-boyfriend. The night had started fine but after a couple of drinks Ellie and I were becoming increasingly hostile to one another, it wasn't my intention to speak to her but the universe forced my hand when we were shoved into a circle of our friends and made to converse around the bonfire at the beach.

The salty breeze carried the sounds of laughter and the gentle crashing of waves, the scent of roasted marshmallows wafted through the air.

"What, you need your boyfriend's permission or something?" Ellie held a can of berry blast Smirnoff, staring into my soul from the other side of the fire, the sparks glitter through the night like fireflies. Her words don't feel too bad but they don't feel too good either.

I cast her a glare before I looked back to my boyfriend "Please?"

He is getting perpetually annoyed with me he shrugs away from my grasp, "Fuck off, we just got here," He mutters, Conner must think I couldn't hear it. He had already downed three Bud lights and a couple of shots of cheap vodka, now he is nursing another beer in hand.

"Excuse me?" I say, narrowing my eyes. Everyone around the fire pauses their conversation to tune into mine. "Come on," I stand up and try to pull him along so we can have a conversation away from the prying eyes of our friends.

I can't pull the mass of the 6'2 quarterback along with me but he obliges and follows me where I yank him. As I drag him along the rest of the group giggle and makes jokes along the lines of 'Trouble in paradise' but Ellie is the only one who doesn't jump back into mindless conversation, her unnerving eyes are still on me while I chew my boyfriend out by the shoreline.

"Why do I have to leave just because you're feeling a little bummed out?"

I'm almost floored at out someone can lack so much empathy "Because you're my boyfriend?" I can feel myself tensing up.

"Why does that mean you can't get up and leave on your own?" He defends "You begged me to come here and now I just wanna down a couple of beers and hang out with my friends."

"You've already drank like twenty!" I retort.

"It's a fucking party!" Conner says, raising his voice "It's a party and it's summer and you're seriously trying to tell me not to have fun?"

"Fuck!" I shout in frustration "Why don't you ever call me? Why can't you ever let me in?" The argument is quickly escalating "Why didn't you tell me that you kissed Tamar and why haven't you told me that you love me?"

"Because I don't."

My words fail me. I knew he didn't, I knew that he hardly even liked me. My dad had thought so highly of him, she said he was the type of guy to rescue a baby from a burning building but as I look at him now, I figure that he eats babies.

I almost open my mouth to say something different, almost, but I don't. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I didn't, I might've been able to salvage the rotting corpse of my relationship with Ellie but I didn't. "Fine," I say, voice calm and quiet "Let's stay."

Before that night I had never really gotten drunk but the second I got back to the bonfire, I was digging through the cooler and shotgunning canned Smirnoff. "Woah," Riley laughs "Someone's finally being a bad influence."

I got myself so shit-faced that when everyone else got up to dance to the music blaring through the Bluetooth speaker, I sat by myself at the shoreline, looking bitterly out towards to ocean while the tides crash at my feet and get sucked back into the ocean. For a moment I think about jumping in and letting my lax body get washed away and sink beneath the surface until I wash up as a water-bloated corpse that some nine-year-old will find when they're beach combing.

My mouth tastes like peroxide and blood, my lungs burn with a red-hot pain. The wind is becoming increasingly harsh and I ignore the hair that is tangled into my golden hoop earrings.

"Wow, you look awful," I don't need to turn around to know who it is.

"Can you just fuck off?" I say "I don't give a shit about you, just leave me alone."

She always had to antagonize me, Ellie went out of her way to stray from the group and bother me. It had something to do with the alcohol in her system. Despite her alleged hatred for me, she takes a seat next to me regardless.

"Fuck, you're so sensitive," She scoffs "I don't know why you're dating him, I'm not even sure why you'd want to fuck him unless you're too lazy to jerk off-

My hands think before my head and I deck Ellie right in the side of her face, getting a solid hit to her cheekbone. My hand flies over my mouth "I'm sorry, I-

Ellie doesn't waste any time in lunging back at me, she pushes me down by my shoulders until my back is in the shallow of the water that moments ago just splashed at my feet and takes a swing. The impact of her punch almost knocks me sober.

I take a sharp inhale, grabbing her elbows and pulling her down to where she was the one on her back and I was the one straddling her. I land one last blow to her nose, I hear a crunch and the panic immediately sends me scrambling to my feet. My eyes go wide at the blood dripping down, her face I turn to run but Ellie is faster, she grabs me by my hair and yanks me down further into the water with her.

"Fucking cunt!" I cry, though my scream is drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud tides crashing on the shore "Get the fuck off me!"

Ellie is better at fighting than I am, I had never been on this side of her before, usually, I had been the one to drag her away from fights but now I am the one who is going to stumble home numb from the devastating pain.

Frankly, I'm fucking scared.

She continues to drag me by my hair until I'm knee-deep in the water with her, she almost throws her entire weight into me, dunking me beneath the surface where her bony hands snake around my neck. My eyes have gone blurry with the salt water, they sting and burn. I can't see anything, all I can do is uselessly thrash beneath her. My hands push against her face, trying to pry her off my body.

Eventually, I manage to claw her face with my fingernails, I dig deep enough that it breaks skin and she recoils just enough for me to knee her in the stomach and let me get out from under her. Just as I try to slip away she reaches for my hair again, but instead of tugging on my hair, she rips out my gold hoop earring. I screech out in agony, hand reaching for where the metal sliced through the lobe of my ear, I shudder in pain; my cries are now jagged and harsh.

This is the exact moment Ellie begins to regret what she's done. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." Her tone softens and she tries to approach me but I back away from her like a frightened dog.

"Get away from me!" Despite the pain surging in my body, I find the strength in me to hit her again, she staggers back tripping into the water. I hit her so hard that I feel a crack in my knuckle and I yelp out in the immediate shock of pain.

I wasn't sure when the others had noticed this was happening probably because my vision had gone blurry from salt water and adrenaline but before Ellie could hit me again, she was being restrained by Riley and Kennedy while some guy who I had probably had two conversations with dragged my back to shore.

I keel over on my hands and knees and begin to start retching onto the sand. Laila rubs a gentle hand on my back, my hair sticking wet on my forehead. A seagull, disturbed by the commotion, took flight, its wings cutting through the charged air.

Next to the pile of vomit I just heaved, blood drips down from my ear, pooling and then soaking into the sand. My neck swells from what is still the raw sensation of Ellie closing her hands around it.

I look up at Ellie, there is blood that has dripped its way into her mouth, clinging to her white teeth. She has what almost looks like a cat scratch running down her cheek, blood begins to prick and spill from the lacerations.

She stares back at me and we don't say a word but we understand each other clearly, I never want to see you again.

"Let's go," Ellie grabs my arm as Dina begins to slice the cake "We're gonna fix this right now."

"Ellie, there are so many people here," I say in a hushed tone so people can't hear me.

"I don't mean here," She looks at me, face expressionless "Just get in my car."

"Excuse me?" I say, tone accusing "Did you just order me to get in your car?"

"Fuck," She sighs, dropping my wrist to rub her hands down her face "Please can you get in my car so we can work this through."

"There's nothing to work through," I retort "You're embarrassed by me or you still secretly hate me and that's fine, I meant what I said on winter break about the lease, the second it's up, I'm getting the fuck out of here."

"What? No, don't- just," She takes a breath, reevaluating what to say "I have a point to make but I can't make it unless you get in my car."

We stare at each other for a moment, I narrow my eyes and she is still unmoving. Every scenario runs through my head of what could be waiting for me in that car.

"Fine."

I sit silently in her passenger seat, my knees are pulled into my chest and I rest my chin on them. Ellie doesn't say anything either as she drives. I watch each traffic light pass me, every street name to try and make sense of where we are going.

I almost feel like I'm going to suffocate beneath the silence of everything going left unsaid.

When I spot the boardwalk up ahead, I know exactly where she's taking me "Ellie, why are we at the beach?" I give her a side glance "Do I need to take out my earrings?"

Heat rises to her cheeks when I say this, "Not yet," She jokes, getting out of her car and grabbing a tote bag from the back seat, and I follow in tow.

We walk past the boardwalk and onto the sandy beach, I'm already not feeling whatever she's doing; there is sand filling up my Converse and a slight wind chill, I'm really wishing I had a hoodie right now. "Can you tell me what we're doing yet?" I'm hugging myself in an attempt to stay warm "If we're still walking on the beach why couldn't we have just walked on the boardwalk instead? It literally has walk in the name." I'm already going off on one of my tangents.

She still walking ahead of me but she briefly turns around to face me "Can you just stop asking questions for a minute?"

"Okay, whatever," I mutter, trailing behind her still. I can hardly see in the night, the only light to guide us is the moon and the warm ceiling lamps from restaurants along the boardwalk. I can vaguely see Ellie's silhouette, she's outlined by the gentle glow radiating off the moon, I try my best not to stumble over things poking out of the sand that have been lost to sight by darkness.

"Okay," Ellie stops, "Here we are."

"Where are we?" I ask "I can't see shit, I don't know where here is."

Ellie digs around in her pocket for her phone and turns on a flashlight and it reveals a small iron firepit that was cemented into a slab of concrete in the sand. She hands me her phone so I can keep the flash on her and she can see what she's doing.

She pulls out some pages ripped out from her notebook "Can you hand me your lighter?"

My eyebrows furrowed, and I felt around in my pocket wondering if I even had one. I did, it had slipped my mind that I still had the bic lighter that I confiscated from Peach Fuzz. I hand the lighter to her and watch as she tucks the pages beneath logs that were in the firepit before we arrive, they are somewhat charred but still viable.

She flicks the lighter to ignite it and the paper catches immediately. The initial flicker grew into a tentative blaze, licking at the edges of the kindling. The crackling sound echoed through the night.

Once she is sure the fire can survive without her feeding it, she steps away. "Alright, let's have it out."

"Like sex?" I scrunch up my nose.

"Oh my god, no, like let's talk this through." She pinches her nose bridge, taking a breath in before exhaling and putting her hand back down "We're gonna recreate the night of the bonfire how it should've been," Ellie reached back into her bag and pulled out two white claws "I snagged these from Dina's party, sorry this was kind of last minute."

I can't help the smile that grows on my face, I take one of the white claws and crack it open "I don't know how authentic this is gonna be if there isn't any canned Smirnoff."

I think back to exactly how that night played out and I take a seat on the sand, facing the crashing dark ocean. I sip my white claw, as expected Ellie takes a seat next to me, just what happened on the actual night.

"Wow," She says "You look really pretty and I'm an idiot for ever saying you looked awful," Ellie looks gorgeous illuminated by the orange light of the fire, and the breeze causes her flyaway hairs to drift in the wind. "I'm an asshole for pretending that I didn't know you, I was scared I would get hurt again and take it to heart like I did last time. I promise the second we get home that I'll come clean."

I don't know if I can deal with this sugary philosophy. She's being so sweet that it's rotting my teeth.

"Ellie," I say gathering my thoughts, it was so hard being honest with my feelings, it felt like I would get hospitalized if I showed any emotion. "I was so in love with you in high school that it killed me, and I was terrified that my parents would throw me out well, they did- but that's why I pushed you away and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret it."

The surprise on her face morphs into a soft smile "What about now?" she asks "Do you still love me?"

I shrug, it's honest "I dunno, but I think there's room to try."

She looks from me to the ocean and the way the moonlight glitters off the surface "What happened next?" Ellie toys with the tab of her drink "Did you hit me?"

"Yeah," I say softly, following her gaze out to the waters "But if we're doing the night how it should've been, I'd rather just kiss you."

Ellie turns her head back to look at me. She shoves her white claw into the sand then takes my face into one of her hands and kisses me like it's her job, so tender and carefully like she's afraid I will break beneath pressure.

How weak have I become? My heart is so full of her that I can hardly call it my own.

A/N: Be grateful for this ending because I was very tempted to give you guys an unhappy one. Sorry that I forgot to post this lol, I’m sad this series is over but excited to show you all my next one which may be the angst-iest yet 👀

Thanks for reading!

Tag list: @elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell @fullmachinegirl @eveshyper @whosmica

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avaf00rdxx · 3 months

Text

Fridge

Little shits pt 2

Kyra Cooney cross x teen!reader (platonic)

actually finished this shockingly quick. (Not proof read). Submitting it now and going to sleep. So it’s bad.

I had a Leah fic that was pretty good but then half didn’t save in the draft. And rewriting is the worst. I’ll try to get back into it tomorrow if I can promise.

Enjoy bbys

——————————————-

“shit.” Kyra blankly said as she made a huge dent in the mcfoord new fridge. Don’t ask how.

“How the fuck did you manage that!” You exclaimed checking out the massive mark left right in the middle of the fridge.

You and Kyra had been in Baylor against Katie and Caitlin for a few weeks now. It was hilarious to all of you. You were also all getting great content for the Arsenal new YouTube channel where different players would do vlogs of game days and other activities.

“Ok everyone Kyra just broke the fridge” you sighed running your palm over your forehead looking back into the camera

“It’s not definitely broken. We can just undo it” she said. You grabbed the camera to point it towards her raising one eyebrow.

“It’s as big as a bowling ball” you said. Kyra turned to you and the camera with a blank expression.

“I say we grab the toilet plunger.” Before quickly getting up to find it.

“If I were Katie I would rather have massive dent on my fridge then have the fridge smell like my own shit.” You sighed as u sat down on the stool. You two were truly truly fucked this time. Some of your pranks included putting pictures of drunk Caitlin all around every second cubby at the training grounds. This round it was slightly lighter by super gluing the lids to their foods in the fridge. Lame right? Kyra somehow managed to pick up a random pot and accidentally charge it straight into the fridge. You forgot about the camera as you were lost in thought thinking about how badly you fucked up this time. Brand new fridge for their brand new place. It was over.

“Ok no plunge but I did some googling. We just need an ice cube” you guys were the definition of blind leading the blind. So of course you grabbed an ice cube and placed it on the large dent 10 times its size. “Is it working” Kyra asked holding the camera towards you and the ice cube. You slowly turned your head around to face her wiht a blank expression reading no you fucking idiot.

A knock on the door made you both share a look of panic. “The pantry” Kyra pointed intending that you just run away from this problem.

“No dumb ass” you said before getting up and walking to the door. You were nearly 100% it wasn’t Caitlin and Katie as you walked the hallway before twisting the handle.

“Hey tiny” Leah said in surprise to find you here.

“Hey Leah”

“What on earth are you doing here” she questioned

“We need your help” you said hopefully. Kyra peaking around the corner to be seen with a sad smile and a nod. Leah slightly chuckled before following you down the hall. Where you stood from afar with Kyra pointing to the fridge. Leah just bursted out laughing.

“Shit you did this” she chuckled checking it out.

“Yes what do we do!” You slightly yelled. Kyra still in shock from what happened.

“Don’t worry about it. They might be mad but Katie was telling me a new fridge and oven was arriving so it doesn’t really matter-“

“This is the new fridge!” Kyra exclaimed

Leah jaw slightly fell “you’ve truly done it again children”

“Leah please answer. What do we do?” You asked desperate for help.

“We wait until they get home” she said softly before filling up a cup of water for herself and sitting at the dining room table on her phone.

You waited around 20 minutes doing nothing. Kyra on her phone, probably researching how to fix it. And you now just sitting next to Leah looking out the window. It might not seem like a big deal. But a brand new expensive fridge, with a possible non-fixable problem was defiantly a big deal to your young minds. You just had a plan in your mind. Offer to pay to fix it. If you can’t fix it. You and Kyra will go halves on a replacement. Kyra tried to rebuttal when you brought up that plan, but quickly shut up when she realised it was the only option.

This was amusing to Leah. The panic in your faces made her laugh. The whole team was just waiting for something to go terribly wrong.

“Let me get this straight you were trying to superglue all of their food? Aha! That’s good” Leah exclaimed with a goofiness in her voice. You and Kyra just sat their blankly. Kyra soon chuckling at the thought of how this whole situation is kind of funny.

A rattle of keys on the front door made your heart completely stop. “Oh hey Leah. And girls. Oh shit what did you do” Caitlin asked with a smirk on her face kind of ready to see the next prank. Just so she could then plot her next one.

“Ok ok so” you put your hands on both their chests before they could walk much further. “We were doing a light hearted prank right. Then we made a mistake. Dear Kyra here-“

“-we both made a mistake ok! We are very very sorry and we will pay for this.” Kyra said. You both stood in front of the three older girls with your hands behind your backs. Apologising like a five year old who just stole lollies.

“Huh” Katie said confused towards the girls, while Caitlin walked into the kitchen to put her bags down.

“Kyra Cooney cross!” There was a yell across the flat. A somewhat fuming Caitlin voice coming from the source. Katie quickly following to see.

“It wasn’t just me!” Kyra quickly defended in panic.

“You did this!” You said to Kyra . Then looking at the two other girls

“I’m gonna head” Leah waved before leaving behind all of you.

“I’ll pay to get it fixed. Even though I didn’t do it” you said to them. Mumbling the last part, targeted towards Kyra.

“Bet your ass you guys will” Katie said

“This is new” Caitlin said looking at the fridge

“That we both know. And we are very very very very sorry a million times” Kyra said pointing between the two of you. You just nodded next to her.

“Sleep with one eye open. Next one will be serious” Katie said smirking. Plotting her next prank.

“You two can go” Caitlin waved you and the 21 year old off. Kyra nodded quickly zooming down the halls.

“Send me your bank details!” You said before walking out. Forgetting the camera on the bench. You went to grab it before heading out again.

“Bye gooners!” You said. Before turning the camera to Kyra who was waiting for the elevator next to you. Who turned around and poking her tongue out.

#kyra cooney cross x reader #kyra cooney cross #Kyra Cooney cross imagine #Katie McCabe x Reader #caitlin foord x reader #arsenal wfc #wsl #woso x reader #woso x Teen reader #Arsenal wfc x teen #Arsenal #ausenal

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neil-gaiman · 1 year

Note

Hi Mr Gaiman. I wanted to ask a very mundane question, how do you physically write /what do you write with?

Right now my PC is broken and I wrote a really good first chapter (without saving, rookie mistake I know, my own silly fault) and it was deleted. It really disheartened me and my story is mostly just scribbles on about 20 scraps of a4 paper now. I have Dyspraxia so writing coherent sentence structures is a struggle and using Word or something like that really helps. I hate to sound like the gen Z I am but how did you keep all your ideas together and write them so well before stuff like word was commonplace?

I'd handwrite first drafts, then type out the next draft single-spaced on scrap paper (so I couldn't submit it and also to save money on paper), fix that draft up and then type it out again, this time double-spaced on good paper.

Then I went onto computers and I learned both to save everything AND to always assume the computer would be struck by lightning or something. I once had to reconstruct the second half of a novel from inspecting the drive manually with Norton Utilities and chunks of novel I'd emailed to friends...

2K notes · View notes

eightmakesonebraincell · 8 months

Text

ateez as brothers

genre: brother!ateez x gn!reader, fluff, crack

length: 6.2k

c/w: swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, brothers being brothers?, this is like 80% roasts

a/n: second collab with yumi (@sorryimananti-romantic) because between the two of us we have three brothers but we don’t want any of them so we’re going to pretend that we can replace them with ateez

hongjoong

a brother?

what is that

he is a dad

nags you about everything

“stop sleeping so late”

“stop drinking so much coffee”

and you’re just like 😃??

because he literally sleeps later than you?

and he says it while holding his third cup of coffee that morning??

definitely says “i told you so” whenever you don’t listen to him and something goes wrong

his communication method is based heavily on sass and sarcasm

he’s the type of brother to say no when you ask for a favour

but then ten minutes later he’ll knock on your door and hand you the cup of tea you asked for

or two days later he’s left your laptop back on your desk with a note saying that it’s been fixed

he also gives you a lot of backhanded compliments

oh you’re not as dumb as i thought

nice cooking, i think the pigs would really like it

as kids though he’s the brother who has the worst retorts

like when you insult him and say he’s stupid

he’ll be like “i know you are but what am i?”

or he’s the type to block his ears with his fingers and go lalalalalalala really loudly

it absolutely infuriates you

he’s definitely the type of brother to tell you that santa isn’t real

nor is the tooth fairy

the brother who laughs at you when you fall over before he makes any move to help you

half the time he’s giggling so hard he falls over too

it’s really only when you two grow older that something in him suddenly switches

he’s the overprotective brother who will interrogate you whenever you go out

where are you going who are you going with what time will you be back

sends you texts every now and then to remind you of your curfew

and when you walk through the door after getting home, he’ll literally be standing in the corridor waiting for you

“why are you home so late”

“joong, it’s only 9”

he can be overbearing but he just wants you to be safe

you’ll have the most stylish wardrobe because he helps reform all of your clothes

except he will reform it however he wants, your opinion be damned

he’ll be like i don’t care if you want this blue, i’m doing it red

and despite how much you scream at him that you hate red, the end product actually kind of looks really good

like, you love it

but you’ll never admit it and give him the satisfaction of being right

you like to steal things from his wardrobe

because his blazers look oversized on you and they just hit different, you know

except he’ll bite your head off if you touch any of his stuff

doesn’t stop him from touching all of your stuff as he pleases though

and you’re like isn’t that mine?

“iSnT tHAt MinE i made it shut up”

hongjoong will be your sugar brother

when you guys go shopping he’ll whip out his card without batting an eye

or when you guys eat together he’ll naturally wait for you to order too so that he can pay

sometimes you arrive home to a box of pastries on your desk

or hongjoong comes home and throws a bag of snacks in your face

tells you that the store was doing a 1+1 promotion or that he bought too many things while shopping for himself

he lets you study or do your work in his studio

as long as you’re quiet

otherwise he threatens to kick you out

there’s a super fluffy blanket and pillow in the corner of his couch that he complains ruins the aesthetic and ‘cool vibes’ of his studio

but it’s always nicely folded and stacked together for you every time you go over

sometimes when he’s stuck or having writer’s block except music-wise

? producer’s block

he’ll let you have a bit of fun with his drafts

(he quadruple checks though that he’s saved a new file and it’s not the original track)

you guys make up nonsense raps and silly melodies

and sometimes you’ll record a studio version of it

if he secretly has a playlist of all the songs you two make together that he listens to when he’s feeling burnt out, then nobody needs to know

he takes a lot of candid photos of you

“woah i got a picture of a gremlin”

but inside he thinks that there’s no other person he would rather take pictures of

basically, he’s the emotionally-constipated brother who loves you but never says it aloud

seonghwa

okay hear me out

he may be the eldest in ateez

but he’s really a baby 🥺

he’s so younger-sibling coded

the type to just come into your room and show you random things

like his new island layout in animal crossing

or the lego set that he just finished building

or the latest star wars figurine that he bought

he just wants praise or compliments or some sort of validation from you <3

and his boba eyes light up whenever you’re like oooh!! that’s so cool!!

when he grows older he still walks into your room like it’s his

mainly to share tmi’s of his day and to ask you about yours

he’ll randomly bring up gossip that he’s heard

he’s also the type to do things to make you laugh

except it’s not funny so you just have to force yourself to laugh so you don’t hurt his feelings

but he can tell and he’ll put his hands on his face and pretend to cry

he definitely gets sad when you don’t play with him

especially when you two are younger

or when you go play with your friends he’s the brother who wants to tag along

“mum said you have to take me too”

when you spend more time with other people?

he pout :(

when you guys do play together though, he will always without fail end up having more fun than you do

doesn’t matter what the activity is

cars? he’s going vroOOM and making sputtering engine noises as he runs the car down the stair railings

dolls? he’s taking their shoes off and tucking them into bed after their tea party

drawing? he makes it a personal challenge to turn the cutest thing into the most unhinged doodle possible

didn’t think anyone could make hehetmon look drunk

he’s the brother who has a crazy collection of figurines in his bedroom

like all his funds go towards lego and star wars merch

while you go up to him with a new haircut or accessory and ask him “what’s different about me”

he’s the brother version of that

drags you to his bedroom after he adds something else to his shelf and asks you “what’s different about my room”

seonghwa’s the type of brother who uses your hair and skincare products

you walk past him one day and he’s like oh you smell nice

and you’re like thanks i got a new shampoo

strangely, he smells just like you the very next day

when he’s younger he definitely mixes shampoo, conditioner and soap together to make a potion

the type to come home real buzzed/tipsy after midnight and barge into your room

and he wakes you up just to ask if you want a cheese toastie

“hwa wtf it’s 2am”

“...but also, yes”

if you two are out drinking together though, you definitely have to drag his ass back home

he gets excited and tries to drink more/party for longer than his body actually can

but seonghwa also makes sure to take care of you, especially if he is the older sibling

constantly texting you

mostly little reminders to bring an extra jacket in case you get cold

or to remember an umbrella because it might rain later

he always wants to give you the best of everything

like the bigger slice of cake or the window seat

but once he realises you’re trying to do the same for him, he’ll be sneakier with his actions

like, when you make him pick which ice cream flavour he wants first, he’ll leave the rainbow sherbet for you because it’s your favourite

even though it’s his favourite flavour too <3

he’s the type of brother to walk you to your classes or drive you to work whenever your schedules line up

always tells you to have a good day

you wave at him to leave

he waves at you to go through the doors

he always wins though and has to see you go in safely before he leaves

if either of you move out, he makes an effort to keep in touch

will ask if you’ve been sleeping well, eating enough

if you have enough groceries or money to spend

he’s definitely the type to make surprise visits to check up on you because he’s worried you’re lying

brings bags of groceries to stock up your fridge

slips a few notes into the pocket of your coat

reorganises your closet for you

steals a few packets of snacks on his way out

in short, seonghwa is the epitome of sibling duality

he’s both such a younger sibling and a mum sibling

you’re each other’s babies honestly

yunho

the brother who makes fun of your height regardless of how tall or short you are

“how’s the weather down there?”

pretends to lose sight of you even when you’re standing right next to him

uses you as his own personal armrest

puts things on the top shelves so you can’t reach

with yunho as your brother, you have to live your life on high alert

because he will use any chance he gets to prank you

especially because he’s the type who is willing to spend months plotting and preparing

he will build up your trust just to set up for one prank

like once he offered you an oreo

and you were immediately suspicious because why is he suddenly sharing his precious snacks with you

he says that he’s trying to diet so he’s sharing to stop himself from eating it all

and at first you’re like hmmm but when it continues for several weeks it becomes normal

and when you’re least suspecting

he swaps out the oreo filling for toothpaste, sets up a camera and then tosses the bait

not only does he never let you hear the end of it, but he uploads your reaction to tiktok

‘OREO TOOTHPASTE PRANK - HILARIOUS REACTION’

carves out a potato into the shape of a soap bar and puts it in your bathroom

if you fall asleep, yunho will try to put as many fries as he can into your open mouth

or he’ll make the tallest cookie tower possible on your head

and he’s the type of brother to shock you awake by clanging a fork or spoon against a metal bowl

honestly at this point

napping around yunho and then getting pranked is your fault

when you guys text, the man is incapable of replying normally

you ask him a question?

he replies with a meme

you tell him to do something?

he blackmails sends you a video of you doing something stupid

talks to you irl in tiktok lingo

at one point he definitely tries to teach you how to play video games

but he gets frustrated at you easily and gives up LOL

yunho’s the brother who is everyone’s campus crush and you can do nothing about it

you try to keep it lowkey that you guys are related because everyone always talks about him

and you’re kinda like

my brother is the campus crush?

yunho? the guy who twerks in his pjs at 9 in the morning?

the person who chews his drinks??

and uses a spongebob voice when he answers your phone calls ? ?

but you sort of get it

because as goofy as he is, yunho is the type of brother that you can confide in

he knows when to be serious and offer comfort/advice when you need it

like if you’re having a bad day or if you get into a fight with a friend

he’ll dump a whole mountain of snacks on the table and put on your favourite movie (even if you’ve watched it 20 times and he’s sick of it by now)

or he’ll listen to you ramble while he hands you tissues

yunho is also pretty protective over you

like, physically, because he’s so tall and you just seem so smol to him

his hand hovers over your back when you go through a door first or like when you walk up the stairs

or he keeps a hand on your shoulder as he guides you two through a crowded area

he’s the type to drive you to places when he can such as to your appointments

or especially when it’s nighttime and you’re walking back home

he’ll be like wait for me right there i’ll come pick you up

and if he gets an inkling that you’re being bullied or mistreated by someone?

he’s ready to square up and throw some fists

when you guys go out drinking, he always keeps an eye on you

where you are

if you go to the bathroom

how much you’ve had to drink

it helps that he can hold his own alcohol well

especially when it’s a large group setting and you’re all playing drinking games

he’s definitely the type to start stepping in and taking your penalty shots for you

piggybacks you home if you’re too drunk to walk

he makes fun of you for it the morning after

but you wake up to a glass of water and aspirin on your bedside table <3

overall, yunho’s the brother who pranks the heck out of you but will not sit still if anyone else does it

yeosang

you two are like the twins who look innocent but are actually evil

quite honestly?

you guys are probably each other’s biggest bullies LMAO

as kids, he’s relatively more on the quieter side

so he usually finds it most comfortable to stick with you at school and in the playground and at family gatherings

just because he’s quiet doesn’t mean he’s not mischievous

usually you nudge him and whisper him your idea

and he grins at you and is like let’s do it

he drags the chair while you climb up to reach the secret chocolate stash

or you keep an eye out while he doodles with crayon on the wall

he’s the type of brother who’ll take your grudges against someone and make it his personal grudge too

you don’t like this person? okay, i don’t like them either

he doesn’t involve himself in the arguments

but he’s definitely somewhere in the background nodding furiously

occasionally you might hear a “yeah!”

at family gatherings you both sit at the back table and judge all your other relatives together lol

bombastic side eyes

if a relative who you guys aren’t very familiar with comes up to talk to you both

yeosang definitely sits there and lets you do all the talking

while he does his ha. ha. ha. 😀 laugh at the right times

you have the EXACT same laugh

when you two are trying to be polite

or it’s awkward and neither of you know how to react

you guys ha. ha. ha. 😀 in sync

whenever one of you come home from somewhere, you both have late night catch ups to share the tea

yeosang looks sweet and clueless but he’s quiet only because he’s actually eavesdropping on the table of old ladies behind him so he can tell you the neighbourhood goss later

nothing stops him from exposing you though

especially when you’re with friends, he’ll bring up your embarrassing childhood stories when you least expect it

like you could literally be watching a movie

and he suddenly says

hey remember that time when you were six and you choked on your noodles and a strand came out of your nose

you’d think that he wouldn’t be able to recall these things

but no

or he’ll call you by the pet name that you hate

in public

in front of your friends

in front of his friends

he’s also the type of brother who randomly yells out your name

and when you ask “what” he doesn’t reply

or he’s like “nothing”

he gives you that smug look on purpose to make you think that he’s hiding something from you

which drives you nuts and you pester him all day about it

when you rant to him, sometimes he’ll accidentally zone out

and he’s just smiling :D

and you’re like

…i asked you a question

or you’ll say “i’m the cooler sibling”

and he’ll nod and be like “mhm, yes, very true, mhm”

yeosang’s the brother who changes the tv channel and then hides the remote so you can’t change it back

pretends he doesn’t know where the remote went either

gives you that wide-eyed innocent look smh

people always ask whether he’s your boyfriend because you two are always together

and when you’re like ew no, he’s my brother, they ask you for his number

which is the perfect opportunity for you to get revenge

you expose his flaws and tell his admirer that he’s not as perfect as he looks

also because you’re protecting him from girls who are only going after him for his looks

as much as you guys roast each other (and other people)

there’s no greater supporter than your brother

and you’re his greatest supporter too

even if the world is against you, it’ll always be you and yeosang against the world

he always has your back and you always have his

even when your parents are scolding one of you two, you’ll naturally take each other’s side

you two share the same taste in. literally. everything.

you share the same hobbies

you like the same snacks

your clothes are the same colours

yeosang definitely suggests you two swap clothes and dress up as each other for a day

you guys do absolutely everything together

he waits for you to watch that movie you two have been wanting to watch since it came out

you wait for him to be free to check out that new restaurant that’s opened up

you both attend the same college

and relocate to the same city to work

where one sibling is, the other sibling will also be

yeosang is proof that your sibling will always be your original soulmate

san

san is the brother who lets his intrusive thoughts win

you hold something out for him to take and he just bites it

will randomly walk up to you and pretend to have a boxing match

throws jabs while making that ‘ss ss’ sound with his mouth

puts you into a headlock for the lols

when he starts to learn taekwondo, he pretends to flip you over his shoulder or roundhouse kick you

most definitely actually kicks you once by accident and makes you cry

he desperately goes shhhh please don’t cry so you don’t alert your parents lol

san is the type of brother who’s super gullible growing up

you convince him that watermelons explode if you shout too loudly next to them

he cries when you tell him horror stories

like if he stares into the mirror for too long his reflection will move by itself

or he only has three seconds to make it back into his bed after he switches the bedroom/bathroom lights off

otherwise the monsters eat him

you always hear him thundering down the corridor after taking a midnight piss

san’s the brother who comes into your room singing the same section of the same song that he’s been singing for the past three days

will lie in your bed and make himself into a blanket burrito

laughs while scrolling through memes on his phone or he just sits and stares at you

might open and comb through the drawers of your bedside table

when he’s had his fun he just walks out without closing your drawers or door

he messes around with your phone a lot too

he likes to take 0.5x photos of his face from real close so it looks fisheye

you have to delete almost 1000 photos of his nostrils from your gallery

you most definitely also have to change your wallpaper back

sometimes he takes it upon himself to customise your device like his device

like he’ll switch your light mode to dark mode, or he’ll rearrange your apps into different folders

it drives you insane as you try to remember which app used to be in that odd gap on your screen

he’s the type to nag you about manners and responsibilities too

like hey don’t talk to mum like that or hey do what dad asked you to do

rules are thrown out of the window when it comes to veggies though

as a kid he tries to slide his carrots onto your plate when you’re not looking

all your friends have a secret crush on him

except it’s not really secret and he knows and basks in the knowledge

he’ll purposely hang around or find excuses to walk into your room or through the living room when you’re hanging out with friends

you tell him to stop being so annoying

that being said, san’s the brother who finds you absolutely endearing

like no matter what you do he thinks you’re adorable

he brags about you to all of his friends

like the project that you finished the other day

or that you bought him the shirt he’s wearing right now

if any of his friends actually start to show interest in you though

he’ll be like

sorry who? no such person exists

san 🤝 gatekeeping

except when it comes to things that you like?

siri, search up ‘antonym of gatekeeping’

san’s the brother who will give up anything to make you happy

he’s so selfless :’((

lets you have first pick for everything

will swap his meal with yours if you don’t like your food

would literally donate both of his kidneys for you

and he’s always thinking of things that will make you smile or things you’d like

if he sees a cute dog on the street he’ll send you a photo

or if he’s walking past your favourite bakery he’ll get you a pastry

if you’re into collecting, he definitely goes out of his way to bring you back a souvenir from whichever place he’s traveling to

stamps, postcards, keyrings, currency, figurines, photocards

doesn’t matter what it is that you’re collecting

he supports your collection

he’s just supportive in general <3

and he’s so affectionate

so many hugs

presses his cheeks against yours

likes to place a hand on the back of your neck or an arm around your shoulders

the only time you mind is when he comes home from the gym

and makes a beeline to your room to see what you’re doing

and you’re like gross go away

he gets sulky and pouty smh

will say that you hate him and you have to be all nO yoU’RE STINKY go sHOWER

basically, san’s the brother who lives off your attention

he’s tinkerbell

stinkerbell

mingi

mingi’s the brother who randomly does things to you when he walks by

basically the brother who lets his intrusive thoughts win pt 2

randomly slaps the back of your head when he walks past

messes up your hair by ruffling it

stops suddenly when you’re walking behind him so that you bump into him

knocks the back of your knees when you’re standing to make you lose your balance

whenever you accidentally break something, mingi’s the brother who will automatically yell out “MUM!”

even if you try to cover his mouth and shush him

he’ll create a ruckus to expose you

and when your parents are scolding you, he’s standing in the corner of the room or like, peeking around the corner laughing at you

he shuts up and puts on a straight face as soon as your parents turn around to glare at him though

mingi tries to bait you into shouting for mum

he’ll pretend to curse except he changes the second half of the word into something else as soon as you open your mouth to tattle

“FU-dge cakes”

also the type to pull pranks on you, like yunho

but unlike yunho, mingi’s not very good at it

he sees the oreo prank

shows you the video while he’s dying of laughter

and then the next day he mysteriously comes home with a packet of oreos

because he just so happened to suddenly crave oreos

besides

mingi is the brother who refuses to share snacks with you

you’ll ask him for a bite and he’ll be like okay

but then he spits into it or licks it before offering it to you

or he takes the last one and hands you the empty packet

if he willingly offers you food it’s probably because he dropped it on the floor lol

or trying to prank you

when it comes to your food though, it’s free game

he’s the type to take a bite out of the toast that you just buttered for yourself

or he’ll slurp up the noodles you literally just cooked

mingi's the type to call for you from across the house

and he doesn’t answer when you ask him what he wants so you have to go to him

and when you walk into the room like >:( what do you want

he’s like

on your way out can you pass me my charger it’s on my desk

he laughs so hard when you storm out

but you guys are literally each other’s best friends <3

you both have the exact same sense of humour

so when something funny happens or you watch a funny video together, you’re both leaning against each other as you cackle

neither of you can breathe

when you play games together, it’s a competition of boasting and bragging

you both think that you can do better than the other

it becomes such a chaotic battle

all rules are thrown out the window within the first few minutes

mingi is definitely the brother that cheats with petty tricks

yanks your hoodie over your head so you can’t see the screen

peeks at your cards when you’re getting a cup of water

not that his methods help him win LOL

but you both have so much fun

he’s the brother than you can go wild with

karaoke? y’all screaming until you lose your voices

the arcade? he empties his pockets and wallet for another coin you can attempt the claw machine with

theme park? you sacrifice each other in the haunted house

LOTS of spontaneous outings

“i’m headed to the shops, you wanna come?”

“i’m going to the drive-thru, you coming?”

even if it’s 2am

you guys rock the hoodies, fluffy pants and slippers look

the spontaneous outings are some of your favourite things to do with your brother

and sometimes

they seem to curiously occur on the days or weeks you’ve been feeling down

it just so happens to be the thing you need

but really, mingi’s the brother who is very observant of your mood

he knows when not to take a joke too far

probably also knows when you’re getting sick before you even realise yourself

he picks up on it very quickly when you seem a bit off

physically or mentally

he tries to take you out for a distraction even if just for a little while (he’s so sweet pls)

he never fails to make you smile and laugh

you can just be yourself around him

honestly, mingi is that brother who tries to make you cry but it absolutely breaks his heart when you do cry

wooyoung

survival of the fittest

doesn’t matter if you’re older or younger than him

his greatest joy is to drive you up the wall

will walk into your room, pick some random thing up, throw it into the void and then walk out like nothing happened

or he doesn’t even do anything he just stands at the threshold of your door

and you tell him to get out of your room

and he’s like technically i’m not in your room ;)

he will fart and smother you under a blanket so you smell it

tells you that you stink even when you just come out of a shower

similar to seonghwa, wooyoung would be the type to text you about everything

except you get texts like

‘lol i just took the biggest dump and now i weigh half a kilo lighter’

‘walked past this today and it reminded me of you <3’

*proceeds to attach a photo of a rubbish bin*

but two can play the game, and when wooyoung is your brother you learn fast

“mum look, there’s a monkey at the window”

“...please let your brother back into the house”

you guys are constantly fighting, but like, over the pettiest things

who has to go take a shower first

why you’re staring at him weird

why he’s sitting on your half of the couch

sometimes the fights turn physical

but when i say physical, i mean biting physical

and if you guys aren’t arguing, then he’s talking your ear off

especially when you’re both driving somewhere he’ll be talking non stop regardless of whether you’re interested or not

so you just zone out and say “yeah” and “mhm” and nod and laugh every now and then

but he knows and yes he’ll bite you for it

“PAY ATTENTION TO ME”

he is an ANIMAL

definitely the brother who climbs up the stairs on all fours like a dog

will growl at you when you try to take a bite of his food

the type to pick up a random clothing item of yours that might look a little different from what he’s used to seeing

like some thin, fluffy thing he thinks is a scarf

he wraps it around his neck and checks himself out in your mirror

shits on how short it is

and you’re like that’s because those are my socks

he highkey judges your fashion choices

you remind him that he ain’t one to talk with those ugly black stompers

as much as you two butt heads though, he wouldn’t trade you for the world

except maybe for san, but like, that’s understandable

he loves you more than anything

runs up to you and jumps onto your back

you two topple over when he catches you off guard

which is like, always

he squishes your cheeks together

pulls you into so many crushing hugs

plants wet kisses on your cheeks that you scrub off

wooyoung’s the type to end his phone calls with i love you’s

and if you don’t say it back or you just hang up, he’ll definitely call you again and repeat it with increasing aggression

“I SAID I LOVE YOU”

the man will not give up until you say it back

you can never win against him during an argument

one because the speed at which he talks at just doesn’t give you a chance to even interject

two you can’t hear your own thoughts over his voice

and three because he’s strangely convincing with his reasons

when you two are on the same page though?

y’all invincible

you guys could probably rob a bank and convince the police officers it’s their fault

it’s very useful for talking yourselves out of trouble with your parents

like, mum if you had put the muffins away instead of leaving them on the dining table then we wouldn’t have thought that we could eat them

he definitely uses the time out sign like five times during the debate

“wait, time, time”

wooyoung’s the brother who is surprisingly-

but also unsurprisingly

-thoughtful

if physical touch and words of affirmation are his top two love languages

his third is cooking

he wakes up early to cook you breakfast or makes you a boxed lunch for special occasions

like your first day of college or your first day of work

fusses over you if you skip meals

whenever he cooks himself some food he’ll pop his head into your room and ask if you want any

and even if you say no he slices some fruit for you

always breathing down your neck about staying hydrated

in short, wooyoung is an absolute menace but only because he loves you

jongho

acts like the older sibling

“when i was your age…”

before his jokes actually become funny, he overuses the same two dumb jokes

like when you ask him for the time

and he’s like, “time to get a watch”

or when you ask him what’s up

and he replies with “the sky”

50% of jongho’s photo gallery is derps of your face

he’ll use those pictures to make his own custom stickers on messaging apps, like whatsapp or kakao talk

if yunho is the type to reply with memes, then jongho is the type to reply with your own derps

the other 50% of his gallery is video evidence

of you drooling while you sleep

of your head getting stuck in your hoodie

of you about to put a spoon in your mouth but the food falling off

you two will be sitting together scrolling on your own phones when he giggles all of a sudden

and he’ll turn to show you an atrocious photo or video of yourself

he imitates everything you do

will forever reenact that one (1) embarrassing dance move you did in the kitchen when you thought you were home alone

even though it was a decade ago

he still makes fun of you for it

jongho’s the brother who tries to make you laugh during a serious or formal situation

you could be attending an online class

or you guys are at someone’s wedding

you’re on stage presenting something

he’ll make faces at you from across the room until you crack

has loud dad sneezes, particularly when it’s all silent

and you get so embarrassed

jongho’s also the type to peek over your shoulder at your screen when you’re chatting with someone

“ooh who’s tHAt is ThAt yOUR CruSH”

has the most shit-eating grin on his face

he’s the type to fight you over who gets to push the trolley when you guys go grocery shopping

and even when you get the handle, jongho stands at the front of the trolley with a hand pulling it along

clowns you as he watches you struggle to lift the pack of canned drinks into the cart

calls you weak

makes sure to comment on how light the drinks are when he picks it up instead

whenever you ask for his help with opening a container or jar or sth

he’ll flex his muscles and pose like a bodybuilder

he’s all high and mighty until there’s a bug in the house

he’ll holler for you even if you’re on the other side of the house

and when you arrive he’s literally climbed onto the table or the couch to get as far away as he can

“GET RID OF IT NOW”

as much as he clowns you, jongho takes his role as your brother very seriously

he is your Big Bad Brother

even if he’s the younger sibling

he’s not very vocal with his love but you definitely feel it in the little things that he does for you

like when he carries all the shopping bags on the way home

or he blow dries your hair for you when you’re too tired after showering

he opens your water bottle for you before handing it over

or when he tucks your collar/shirt tag back in when it sticks out

he’s also the type to make you walk on the inside of the footpath or sit on the last remaining seat

jongho appreciates all the little things that you do for him too

like you always text him names of coffee places you think he might like

whether it’s a place your friends take you to or an insta post you scroll past

he has a little folder in his phone where he keeps a list of your recommendations

and one of his favourite things to do is when you both go and try out one of the cute cafes or brunch spots together

if he goes by himself he sends you pictures of the new coffee that he tries and his review of it

he also gets so shy when you compliment his voice

you catch him singing in the shower

or humming when he’s making his coffee in the kitchen

and he loves it when he hears you singing or humming along with him

jongho won’t admit it but he has a very soft spot for you

he lets you hang off him like a koala

lets you drape over his shoulders in a back hug

even if he pretends like he’s being held hostage

basically with jongho, you get ✨sibling privileges✨

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alexfromjersey · 9 months

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𝓓𝓸𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓽𝓼 & 𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓬 𝓠𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

jenna x g!poc

summary: jenna and jah going to the obstetrician. jah asking stupid questions.

warnings: jah being a comedian, mature language, partial smut

a/n: tumblr didn’t save the first draft 😭…anyway enjoy the chapter and a Jenna edit 🤭. also I’m not a medical professional. I tried to look up the actual terminology and stuff to be semi-accurate but I started to lose interest 😂 - 4.3k words

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

MAY 2023

“YOU GOT YOUR BACK BLOWN OUT BY KID CUDI?!? WHAT THE FUCK!” You shouted on the phone.

You and Jenna were currently on FaceTime, she was in her last fitting for her Met Gala outfit. She was bored waiting for the designer to come and make potential adjustments. So she called you to entertain her someway. She regrets calling you now.

You were doing your due diligence as a baby mama and friend to watch Jenna’s work. You started with The Babysitter: Killer Queen. It was alright in your opinion, you gave it a 7/10. Next, you watched The Fallout. It made you tear up and you applauded Jenna on her work. You considered it her best character.

Then, you watched both Scream movies and now you’re watching X. She tried to get you to not watch the movie by not even telling you about it. You had to look up her filmography to find out about it.

“You’re so lucky I have my headphones in” Jenna rolled her eyes.

“Nah you ain’t tell me this movie like that. I was jumpscared with so much ass and titties and now I gotta see you have sex with Mr. Day N’ Nite. Insane” You stated.

“I told you not to watch it. Actually I specifically remember withholding the information” Jenna said.

“Hm. They did you dirty by pairing you with that white man though” You shrugged and ate a fistful of popcorn.

“Shut up” Jenna mumbled.

Your eyes slowly drifted away from the movie to the phone screen. Jenna was preoccupied fixing the nail polish on her nails. She was doing something so simple yet captivating. You couldn’t take your eyes off her. The feelings you felt for her was starting to scare you.

“So, Nancy helped me book an appointment with the obstetrician not far from you” Jenna spoke bringing you out your thoughts.

“You did it for here? Why not back in your hometown, you know to be closer with your family” You questioned.

“It was the best one and…I always wanted to live in New York. I also want to be far away as possible from my mother when I tell her that I’m pregnant” Jenna smiled.

You laughed taking in the information, “When’s the appointment?”

“Tomorrow morning, 9am” Jenna replied.

“I’ll be there” You playfully salute to her. You turn your attention back to the movie. It was now on the part where the white man get killed by the old lady brutally.

“Speaking of families, how exactly are you going to tell yours?” Jenna asked.

“I’ll just call my brother and tell him. Now, for my mom, I’m gonna need a police riot shield” You huffed.

"You and I are in the same boat. I'm praying for you more though" Jenna said.

Your head snapped toward her, "Nah, don't say that."

Jenna chuckled at the expression on your face. The door behind her opened and the designer walks in. "I have to go. I'll call you later" Jenna said.

"Okay...wait you don't get your back broken like a glow stick anymore in this movie right?" You jokingly asked.

Instead of a verbal response, you got the sound of the FaceTime call ending. You laughed out loud and placed your phone on the charger and turned back to the movie.

Meanwhile with Jenna, she rolled her eyes secretly amused as she hung up on you. It was starting to get hard for her to ignore the growing feelings she had for you. She stalked your Instagram, staring at each photo for at least 10 minutes. She stayed up late last night and watch all your YouTube videos.

“Okay, since you’re not showing yet. The dress still fits perfectly but we will loosen it up around the waist just touch” Thom complimented.

Jenna looked at herself in the mirror, “I feel good in it. It feels good, I’m really happy with it” Jenna smiled.

Thom and Jenna continued discussing the dress some more before Thom had to leave to another client. He bid Jenna a bye and congratulations and left the building. Now, it was just Enrique, Nancy, Hudson, and Big L in the room.

A phone alert has Jenna snapping her head to her phone but unfortunately it was not her phone that made the sound. Enrique snorts at Jenna’s actions. An embarrassed blushed appears on her face.

“Shut up Enrique” Jenna mumbled.

“I’ve never seen like this before. It’s adorable” Enrique chuckled.

“It’s just hormones” Jenna lied.

“Yeah no it’s not. You know it’s okay to like her right. I mean the both of you kinda skipped a couple of steps but it’s good to backtrack” Enrique joked.

Jenna playfully punched his shoulder which made him laugh. Nancy let out a little giggle at the home. Hudson just grumbled something incoherent to himself.

“What does she look like anyway? I wanna see if your baby is going to be ugly or not” Enrique said.

Jenna rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone. She went to Instagram and went to your profile.

“This is the most recent photo” Jenna said.

liked by jennaortega, davis, and 12,683 people

bronxshiesty no bite marks no scratches and no hickeys

“Oh my….she got a brother?” Enrique asked.

Jenna laughed, “She does actually but he lives in Barbados.”

“I always wanted to go to Barbados. When’s my vacation?” He joked.

Jenna just shook her head while laughing. She carefully took off the dress and Enrique hung it up on the mannequin.

“You know it still hasn’t fully hit me that you’re about to become an actual mother. Shit is wild” Enrique commented.

“You and me both. I downloaded this pregnancy app and currently my baby is the size of a large strawberry” Jenna smiled and placed her hand on her stomach.

“Ain’t all strawberries large though?” Nancy questioned.

“I guess not” Jenna shrugged and sat down in a chair. Her stomach growled loudly.

“Get used to that. You’re gonna wanna eat twice more than usual.” Nancy said.

A text message alert can heard throughout the room. Jenna picked up her phone.

NYC 🩵: yo u got anything else to do today?

Hollywood 🤰🏻: no I’m free for the rest of the day

Hollywood 🤰🏻: why?

NYC 🩵: I want to see you

Jenna’s heart fluttered at the message. She bit her lip and smirked.

Hollywood 🤰🏻: what are we gonna do?

Jenna watched as the text bubbles appear and then disappeared. It happened a few more times before the text bubbles stayed.

NYC 🩵: i mean…whatever you wanna do shawty. I’m down with whatever 😁

“Let me guess, it’s her” Enrique smirked and tried to peek at Jenna’s phone she turned away. “Ohh not y��all sending spicy messages”.

“We’re not sending spicy messages. She just said she wants to see me” Jenna smiled.

“See you as in watching movies or see you as in Neighbors know my name?” Enrique joked.

Suddenly, a loud slam can be heard throughout the room. Everyone looked confused at the sudden sound and disappearance of Hudson. But shrugged it off.

Hollywood 🤰🏻: I’m hungry

NYC 🩵: what u want

Hollywood 🤰🏻: seafood

NYC 🩵: u like seafood boils? I know a banging spot that I can get

Hollywood 🤰🏻: absolutely

NYC 🩵: bet 🫡

“You’re all finished for the day Jenna. Go spend it with your baby momma” Nancy said.

“Thanks guys” Jenna said and grabbed her things. She hugged Enrique and Nancy before walking to the door.

“Don’t get pregnant…oh wait” Enrique joked.

Jenna stuck up her middle finger and Enrique and Nancy’s laugh can be heard as she left the room.

🤰🏻🩵

45 minutes later, Jenna finally arrived at your apartment. She texted you that you were here. A couple of minutes later, you came down in a gray tank top, gray shorts, and your slides.

“Yo Hollywood” You greeted and helped her out of the SUV. Jenna smiled and wrapped her arms around your waist. It was unexpected but you wrapped your free arm around her back and hugged her tight.

Jenna looked up you with a certain spark in her eyes. You noticed but decided to look away from her.

“Big L, I got you a boil too. You ain’t allergic to seafood right?” You asked.

“Nah I’m not. Appreciate it though” Big L said appreciative and took the bag of food. You nodded in response.

The two of you then head into the apartment complex. You lived on the 6th floor of the building, the nicest floor out the entire building. When you applied for the place, the landlord tried to stick you in a moldy and roaches infested apartment but one of the neighbors put you on game and helped you get this one.

“Welcome to mi casa” You said as you walked into your apartment. It was two bedroom and one bathroom. Their was music softly playing throughout the apartment from your speaker on the counter.

Jenna looked around the thankfully, clean apartment.

“Not bad” Jenna playfully shrugged.

“Yeah it’s not the high rise, plants in the windows, Hollywood type of apartment but it’s something” You chuckled.

Jenna giggled and sat down at the dining table with the food.

“I didn’t get yours with sauce on it. I got it on the side, it’s a Cajun style sauce and it’s a little spicy. I looked up if pregnant woman can eat spicy stuff, they said it was safe but might cause heartburn or indigestion so I also got a lemon garlic sauce too just in case.” You ranted.

Jenna looked at you with admiration in her eyes, “Thank you. I like spicy stuff so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

You smiled and the two of you engaged in a light conversation as you ate. You took the sausages from her bag and you gave her your corn. You also helped her with cracking the crab legs open and showing her how to get the meat in one piece.

You and Jenna finish your food and clean up before sitting on the couch. You sat in the middle while she sat at the end with her back against the armrest and her feet in your lap.

“Are you wishing for a boy or girl?” Jenna asked.

“I’m wishing for a healthy baby. I genuinely don’t care if it’s a boy or girl” You shrugged.

“Good answer. I want a girl though” Jenna said.

“That’s surprising. Most mothers want boys” You said.

“Girls are more fun in my opinion. But either way I’m going to love our child regardless of gender” Jenna stated.

She then sat up, scooted closer, and looked at the number tattoo on your wrist. “What’s this mean?”

“It’s my angel number. 555. It’s means change. Changes are coming and that I shouldn’t be worry or scared just have trust in the process” You explained.

“What about this one?” Jenna said as she pointed to another tattoo. This one was a small writing.

“Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes. It was my second ever tattoo. Believe it or not I was a shy kid before my junior year. I used to let people walk over me and bully me and take me for advantage. That was until the last day of sophomore year, I was on the yearbook committee and I had a really good idea but I was too scared and one of the other students stole it and took credit for it. My yearbook teacher pulled me aside one day and told me she knew I was the one that came with the idea. She told me, “you’re never going to get what you want if you never speak up. Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes because you never know who could be listening”. It’s a quote that stuck with me ever since” You explained.

“You had a great teacher” Jenna commented.

“Yeah, she reached out to me a couple of months ago and told me she loved my videos. It was wholesome” You smiled. Your hand start to rub her thigh unconsciously. “What about you? You got any ink?” You asked.

“Nope. I want one though. Maybe for my first one I’ll get our baby’s name behind my ear” Jenna answered. You nodded in response and continued rubbing her thigh. Your eyes kept looking down to her soft lips.

You wanted to feel them on yours, it’s been a minute since you felt any intimacy. You were longing for her soft touch.

Jenna’s eyes traveled down to your hand. She was starting to grow hot. Her hormones making it very difficult to keep in check.

“Jah?” Jenna called out.

“Hmm?” You hummed in response.

“Kiss me” Jenna demanded softly.

You leaned in and connected your lips to hers. Jenna immediately deepened the kiss as soon as she could. She climbed into your lap and her hands were placed on your cheeks. You placed your hands on hips. The kiss was starting to get sloppy and eager.

Jenna pulled away and took off her top leaving her in her navy blue bra. Her lips then latched onto your neck.

“You know…we should…talk about our relationship” You struggled to get out due to the pleasure.

Jenna placed butterfly kisses on your neck until her lips found your pulse. She then began to suck on the area. Your hands gripped her waist tighter and a small hiss escaped your lips. She smirked against you, happy that she found your sweet spot. She continued sucking until she felt satisfied with the hickey she left on your skin.

Your lips connect once more, your tongues clash and you slide your right hand up her back. Your fingers find her bra strap and with one hand you undo it. You help her pull it off your body. This time your lips leaves hers and attach them to her sweet spot. A sigh of pleasure leaves her lips and her hand gets tangled in your hair.

Your left hand grabs onto her slightly larger breast and begins to massage them.

Thank god for this pregnancy.

Your fingers rolling and pleasurably tugging at her hardened nub. The hand in your hair start to scratch at your scalp which felt really good. You take your attention away from her hickey littered neck.

Yikes, her make up person is going to have a field day with that.

Your lips clamp around her nub. Your tongue swipe over it a few times before sucking on it.

“Oh my god” Jenna moaned softly.

You let your teeth graze over it just a tad bit before switching your attention to the other breast. While you were giving her breasts attention, Jenna slipped down a little to sit on your knees before her hand found it’s way into your sweatpants. Her warm hand quickly found their prize. The long and girthy beast that was growing in your pants.

You pull away from her breasts and look into her lust filled eyes. You lifted your hips and pushed your sweatpants along with your underwear off your hips. Jenna got up from your legs and pushed the rest of it off your legs. She got on her knees in front of you.

Her small hand wrapped around your third leg. It jerked in her hand at her touch which she smirked at. She placed small kisses up and down your shaft until she got to the tip. Her tongue circled around it, her eyes never leaving yours. You lick your lips as she takes you into her mouth.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head. Your head fell back against the cushions and your right hand tangle themselves in her hair.

One hand at the base of your shaft and the other rested on your thigh. Jenna started to bob her head up and down. Her muffled moans sending vibrations against your member which made you hiss.

“Damn girl” You hissed and licked your lips. You pushed her head down farther. You were deep in her throat, tears were pooling in her eyes. Jenna then took you fully in her mouth, her nose was touching your pelvic area. Your eyes slightly widened, you can feel her uvula grazing across you. She stayed there for a second, flexing her throat until it got hard to breathe and she pulled you out of her mouth. Her hand continuing to pump your length.

Once she got her breath back, she swallowed you while again. You grabbed a fistful of her hair and helped her bob her head up and down at a fast pace.

You were close, the knot in your stomach started to tighten.

“Fuck Jenna” You moaned.

Her nails dug into your thigh, enjoying the way your tip abused the back of her throat. You start to pant as you got closer and closer. Before you knew it, you halted her head before you felt your length twitch as it emptied into her mouth.

You relaxed into the couch, sweat glistening on your face. Jenna milked you for every last drop before she pulled you out of her mouth. She showed you the thick substance in her mouth before closing it and swallowing.

“Me gusta esa mierda extraña (I like that freaky shit)” You spoke.

“You know even though it’s sexy. It’s not fair when you speak Spanish knowing I have no clue what you’re saying” Jenna pouted.

“Chupa para chuparte fraude (Sucks to suck you fraud)” You shrugged with a chuckle.

Jenna sucks her teeth before standing up. She goes to walk away but you grab her hand.

“I’m joking. I’ll teach you Spanish if you want me too” You said. She stood in front of you. You pulled her down and interlocked your lips again. This kiss you guys took it slow, building the mood again, even though it technically never left. You pulled her pants down her legs until she kicked them off somewhere.

You stood up and hoisted Jenna up. She wrapped her legs around your waist. You walked until her back made contact with the wall in your bedroom. Your fingers pulled her underwear to the side and you ran your middle finger through her folds.

Damn, she was mad wet. She got that WAP.

Your middle finger massaged her clit. A whine left her lips as you flicked her clit and her hand gripped the back of your neck.

“Jah…” She moaned.

Unbeknownst to you, she was close to the edge. Usually, she lasts a lot longer than this. You barely touched her and she was already close to the edge. This pregnancy was making everything heightened.

You pull her from the wall and lay her on the bed. You were on your knees to the side of you, you took her underwear off before you slipped your middle and ring finger inside her.

“Fuck!” Jenna gasped.

Your long fingers worked their magic, quickly finding the rough spongy spot inside her. A loud moan ripped through her as she arched her back. Her hands gripping the bed sheets tightly.

“I’m…about to cu-” Jenna choked on her words as a powerful orgasm ripped through her. She stilled with her back arched to sky and eyes squeezed shut. There was a pool under her and your hand was soaked to the max.

You were slightly surprised at how fast she came. You didn’t complain though.

“Holy shit, that was intense” Jenna swallowed harshly. She relaxed her body on your bed, her chest was still rising and falling rapidly.

“I’m good at what I do” You smirked.

Exhaustion creeped in and Jenna struggled to keep her eyes open.

“No way I just fingered you to sleep” You laughed.

“Shut up” Jenna mumbled sleepily.

You chuckled as you grabbed some boxers from your drawer and pulled them on. You grab an old T-shirt from your drawer.

“Here put this on” You said and handed her the T-shirt. Jenna lazily put it on while you changed the blanket on your bed. Jenna crawled into your soft queen sized bed and curled up in your blanket.

You locked up your place and put the blanket and her clothes in the wash. Before going back to your room to see Jenna fast asleep. You climbed in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. As soon as you closed your eyes, you felt Jenna scoot closer to you. You turned your head towards her to see her grabbing your hand. You placed your hand in hers and she placed it on her stomach. You turned your body to her, spooning her. She relaxed into your hold and fell back asleep. You soon followed with a big smile on your face.

🤰🏻🩵

It was the next morning, you and Jenna were currently at the obstetrician's office waiting for the doctor to return to do the physical exam. The two of you got to know Dr. Nightngale better and vice versa. Her daughter was a fan of Jenna's which didn't bother or surprise the girl.

When it came down to asking questions about the other parent, Dr. Nightingale was stunned to learn that you were. Questions were thrown at you, which didn't bother you. You were used to people asking questions about being intersex. You were asked questions about it from the minute you could speak full sentences.

When you were younger, you used to go into full details but they got boring real quick. So you opted to tell people a quick summary. Which was 'I was an experiment from Area 51. My father was a spy that fell in love with an alien'. Most people didn't find it funny.

“What to expect when expecting?” You read aloud. It was a pamphlet that you picked up from the front desk. All morning you were reading up on anything related to pregnancy. You wanted to at least have a little bit of knowledge of what’s happening. Plus, it was kinda interesting learning about everything.

“Holy shit” You gasped as you were instantly hit with the sight of a stretched-out vagina…not the kind of stretched you want.

You look at the pamphlet with a disgusted look and then over to Jenna. The girl looking at you with an amused expression.

“I’m so sorry” You apologize to the girl.

A knock on the door was heard and Dr. Nightingale came in.

“Alright, Ms. Ortega and Ms. Jimenez are you guys ready to see your little bundle of joy," Dr. Nightingale asked.

Jenna was laid back in the exam chair with a sheet covering her breasts. Her slightly protruding belly was out in the open. You got up to stand next Jenna and also see the screen. You felt a shaking hand grab yours.

"You okay?" You asked the shaking girl.

"I'm nervous. I'm finally realizing how real this is" Jenna gulped.

"It's normal to be nervous. But I'm right here." You reassured the girl. She gave you a smile and a quick squeeze of your hand. Dr. Nightingale smiled at the interaction between the two of you. She put the gel on the medical instrument.

"Okay, this is going to be cold." Dr. Nightingale warned. She put the instrument on Jenna's belly, who flinched slightly at the sudden coldness of the gel. She moved the instrument around a little before a little body appears on the screen. The room was then filled with a rhythmic thumping.

"Oh my god" Jenna gasped at the screen. Her eyes started to fill up with tears at the sight. You, on the other hand, couldn't stop looking at the screen. You had a huge smile on your face.

"Your baby has a strong heartbeat. You are about 11 weeks pregnant. 2 months almost 3 if you like to go by months. Judging by the date of conception, you are due to give birth on November 28. But there's also a possibility that you could give birth in December" Dr. Nightingale said. She starts to take pictures of the baby.

“A Sagittarius baby…oh lord” Jenna joked.

“Better than a Scorpio” You shrugged.

Dr. Nightingale continued the exam. Everything coming up clear for both the baby and Jenna which you were happy about.

“When are we able to know the gender?” Jenna asked.

“By 14 weeks but I like to do it around 19-20 week mark so it can be accurate” Dr. Nightingale asked.

“What about sex?” You impulsively asked.

“Jah” Jenna sighed and rolled her eyes.

“What? It’s a smart question to ask” You defended.

Dr. Nightingale laughed, “One of the most common questions we get. Sex is completely fine to continue doing. It’s actually beneficial, it can ease discomfort or pain, great for physical health, and a good partner bonding experience. But I would highly recommend still using condoms because STI/STDs are still a thing.”

You smirked and nodded at the response. Jenna just smack your arm as she rolled her eyes.

“Any more questions?” Dr. Nightingale asked.

The both of you shook your heads no.

“Okay, well that is it for today. I’ll see you guys next month. Congratulations to you both” The older woman smiled and left the room. You helped Jenna wipe the gel off her stomach and she puts her shirt back on.

“You know…last night I said something to you. We were kind of busy so I don’t know if you heard me” You said.

“What did you say?” Jenna asked.

“I said we should talk about this. You know…us” You gestured to the two of you.

“What’s there to talk about? We’re just two people who had sex and are now having a baby together.” Jenna shrugged.

You furrowed your face, “Is that how you see us? Just two people having a baby?”

“Not just two complete strangers. Like friends” Jenna said. She watched you as you stared at her with no emotion on your face.

“Friends” You muttered and nodded.

Not gonna lie, the statement hurt you. You didn’t want to be just friends with her. You wanted to be more. You liked her and you thought she liked you too but you guess wrong. You respected her decision though despite the mental pain it brought you.

Just friends…

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @raven-ss @fanboy7794 @morganismspam23 @cinffy23 @darklron @cheesybacon1 @octavias-next-meat-bite @playboysaleen @niqmandu

#Spotify #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #g!p reader #jenna ortega x oc #nycxhollywood

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t-lostinworlds · 9 months

Text

A Strange(r’s) Comfort | Peter Parker

A/N: had this idea right after i saw nwh which was...years ago now lol. rewatched it again recently so here’s me dusting off a wip that’s been sitting in my drafts. basically, this is just me giving peter some comfort in a way, bc that boy really needs one :((

》 PAIRING: peter parker x female!reader 》 TROPE/GENRE: strangers to lovers (mostly implied); soft angst; hurt/comfort 》 SUMMARY: Peter found a strange comfort in the graveyard, no less. But hearing about your day-to-day had been the highlight of his. And when one night led to the both you showing vulnerability, suddenly, Peter didn't feel so alone anymore. Maybe a stranger's comfort wasn't so bad. 》 WARNINGS: Spoilers? (i mean it’s been a while); bad jokes/puns (one about chicken & one about sex lmao); peter eavesdropping (sorta...ya know, enhanced hearing); it’s mostly set in the graveyard so...; mentions of: death, car accident, drunk drivers, being in jail for a moment, petty theft, peer pressure; and overall just dealing with grief and peter & reader bonding over their experience with grief. 》 WORD COUNT: 5.2k+ (issa baby fic)

📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ P. PARKER MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩

⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.

Some might consider it unhealthy, but was there really a 'right' way to deal with the loss of someone you hold near and dear to your heart? They might even say it was excessive, but who were they to police him? They didn't know what he was going through. They could never understand what he was going through.

A part of him had excused it with his wounds being fresh, that with time, he'd be able to learn not to dwell too long on the remnants of the people he loves. Maybe with time, he'd be able to move on, something that seemed so impossible at the moment. But he'll get there—well, he hoped so, at least.

Either way, there was no doubt that everyone handled grief differently.

For Peter Parker, that was visiting May's grave every day.

Once was enough.

That was what he limited himself to, at least.

But still, it was barely enough to settle the demons in his head. Barely enough to stop him from replaying the scene over and over.

Peter had been recalculating in utter desperation as to what else he could've done better, what else he could've done more to save her.

That was what it was like most nights.

Some nights, though, his mind would switch things up a bit, thinking that maybe he was going about it wrong. Maybe it was a case of what he shouldn't have done.

Those nights Peter sometimes found himself picking apart every choice he'd ever made before it led to that point.

Maybe if he hadn't chosen to go on that stupid school trip to Europe then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe his identity wouldn't have been revealed and it wouldn't have led for that first domino to tumble, knocking over the rest that made his life turn for the absolute worse.

Or maybe, he didn't need to go that far back in the past. Maybe he simply shouldn't have chosen to question Dr. Strange's decision to send those villains back to where they came from immediately.

But sadly, that was all there was to it.

Peter's thoughts were simply and only just a whole bunch of unanswerable maybes.

Maybe this, maybe that. Maybe he owed it to them to try his best and fix things, maybe he didn't owe them anything at all. Maybe it was the wrong choice to try and save everyone, maybe it was right.

Aunt May said he did the right thing.

But it didn't feel like it sometimes.

Hell, it didn't even feel like it was even worth it. And no matter how much he tried to tell himself that it was right, his thoughts still managed to convince him that every. single. choice he made was simply wrong.

It wasn't even difficult to come to that conclusion anymore. Because ever since he got bitten by that spider, his loss considerably outweighed all his wins. And from then onwards, it just felt like he kept losing, and losing, and losing, and losing.

Right now, the most mundane thing he'd been losing lately was sleep, at the very least.

He'd gotten a job as a delivery guy at this small chicken joint a couple of streets down his apartment. Some might call it cheating—in his opinion, it was simply taking a shortcut—but he'd leave the bicycle they'd lend him in an alleyway and just swing the chickens to their destination. Sure, changing in and out of his suit was a bit tiring but it was definitely far better than dealing with New York traffic.

Apart from that, he'd also begun with some freelance photography work, dusting off the old DSLR camera Ben and May got him. He got decent at it a while back. But it got long forgotten the minute they bought him his first video game console, two years later.

He was starting off small, from random birthday parties to taking photos of restaurants or any establishment that was looking to use the pictures for ads or whatever. He was up for anything, anyone who didn't mind getting an okay photo at best.

There wasn't much to it, though, since nobody was really keen on hiring someone who didn't have experience. As a matter of fact, he didn't even have a high school diploma. Which had now led to him sacrificing countless hours of studying for his GED tests.

So, it was safe to say that he was handling a lot, especially juggling it with his still ongoing nighttime patrols.

Yet all of that seemed so much easier compared to what he had to deal with once he was lying in bed, wide awake even if it was past midnight. What went on in his day-to-day was only a fraction of the reason why he was losing sleep because his damning thoughts just had a habit of being so loud once everything else had quieted down.

It was hard as it was dealing with grief, even though he for sure had dealt with it more times than needed in such a short amount of time.

But what was more difficult about it this time around, was dealing with alone.

And Peter Parker was truly and utterly, alone.

No fellow Avenger to advise on ways to deal with this. After all, they were the only people who could understand even the slightest bit of what he was going through.

Saving the rest only to fail at saving one, losing someone in the midst of fighting for the rest of the world.

No Happy to offer some guidance on dealing with the loss of someone near and dear to you. Or for him to just be there as someone Peter could relate to, just like when Tony had died.

No Ned and MJ to give him company, offer their different ways of comfort as best as they could. They weren't there to simply make him laugh, offer that tiniest moment of reprieve, distract him with their theories and arguments about anything and everything to help him escape from, well, everything.

Right now, Peter had no one.

Going from having the people he truly cared about be only one call away, to suddenly being someone labeled as 'unknown number' in their contact lists, it was difficult.

But maybe he would just learn to live with it.

And maybe the first step to being able to live with his grief was to visit May frequently.

It didn't matter what time of the day it was. Whether it was early morning or just a few minutes after lunch, or when the sky started tinting orange as the sun slowly set. Midday or midnight, dusk or dawn, it didn't matter as long as he could visit her just once.

Maybe a part of him was hoping that by some miracle he'd hear her voice again, telling him, even if it was the last time, that you're going to be okay.

Peter needed it, so badly. He needed to be told that things would turn out alright because him being fine? It seemed like a far-off dream at this point.

He'd been to space, been to the mirror dimension, fought villains from other universes, been the center of a spell that erased people's memories and made them forget who he was.

Surely hearing the voice of a loved one that had passed wasn't too much to ask?

Yet every day, every moment he ventured into the graveyard, he was met by silence.

Well, aside from the distant hum of New York as life moved on. There was also the deep howl of the wind at night, a few cracking branches accompanied by the soft coo of crows.

Some would probably find peace from all the white noise, but Peter couldn't say he found any comfort in it. He'd only grown accustomed to it, used to tuning out the rest of the world to avoid being reminded of a life he once had.

Still, quietness had always been typical during his visits.

That, until one Saturday afternoon.

•••

Peter sensed another person approaching before he could even see them.

The soft crunch of fallen leaves was what he heard first, followed by a soft humming of some holiday song.

He looked up from the book he was reading, curious eyes landing on someone carrying flowers, a slight pep in her step which was unusual given the location.

Still, there was something about you that Peter couldn't help but be drawn to.

"There we go, all nice and clean," he heard you say, rustling of dried leaves and the soft brushing of clothes following suit. "And flowers well hydrated with bottled spring water."

You were talking to yourself.

It was a habit, he assumed. You just seemed comfortable doing it, as if you were having a mundane conversation with someone else.

Peter found it oddly endearing.

"I brought your favorite this time Dad because I am sure you're complaining to Mom why I always bring her favorite flowers," you explained with a soft laugh. "I sometimes forget you're a flowers type of guy, too."

No—you weren't talking to yourself.

You were talking to the gravestone.

His curiosity piqued even more.

It wasn't that you were being loud, either. Not at all. You were speaking softly as you typically would if you were by yourself in a graveyard, no less.

But because of his enhanced hearing, he simply couldn't help but listen.

"Sorry I haven't been here for a little while, just been busy with you know, moving, college, finding a job with a minimum wage that will not cover rent alone so what even is the point? We look for a job to survive but when we do find a job it doesn't even pay you enough to get by? Some people don't even hire you because 'not enough experience' and I'm like, duh? I'm trying to gain experience hence why I'm applying? Who even invented this shithole?"

Peter found himself nodding along, unable to argue with your claims when they were filled with nothing but the truth.

"Sorry, sorry, it just doesn't make a damn sense," you sighed. He could almost hear you rolling your eyes. "Anyway, I then have other adult things I really don't want to deal with like learning how to deal with taxes and stuff which is so dumb given I'm close to broke and—where does my tax go, anyway? Some politician's tenth vacation to the Bahamas, probably."

For the first time in a long while, Peter cracked a smile.

"Ugh, I am sorry, I promise I don't come here only to complain to you guys," you said, "But I am doing okay…"

He couldn't really explain the 'why,' but the soft tug in his heartstrings was definitely real when he heard the melancholia in your voice.

"The holidays are coming up," you said softly, the slight shake in your tone unmistakable. Yet as it rushed to the surface, it was just as quickly replaced with a chipper one.

"They always tell me how you both are watching over me now. But I don't know if I really want that," you sighed exaggeratedly. "Not because I hate you guys. But imagine if I was having sex? I really don't want to think about you 'watching over me' because it's really uncomfortable."

Peter couldn't stop his snort, his eyes widening as he spared you a glance. He was as grateful that you didn't seem to hear him.

The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was eavesdropping—well, maliciously, at least.

"It's a joke, Mom. See, Dad gets it."

Silence hung in the air after that, a sudden gust of wind blowing away the leaves that littered the snow-covered grass.

But he had a feeling the shake in your voice wasn't because of the cold.

"I really miss you guys…"

Peter left at that.

He didn't see you again for the next few days, probably because he never did visit at the same hour of the day. He never actively tried to see what time you were there, either—if you went every day at all. He'd just become a stalker at that point.

So, every time you did cross paths, it was entirely by chance.

The next encounter was when he brought his lunch with him to the graveyard. He'd caught sight of you sitting on a pink blanket that was laid out on the grass, legs crossed with a box of pizza to your right.

Instinctively, you looked up and over your shoulder when you heard his footsteps.

Your eyes immediately locked with his.

Pretty was the first word that came to his mind.

Beautiful, when you offered him a sweet and warm smile.

"Hello," you greeted.

Peter couldn't help but smile in return.

"Hi."

Nothing else was said after that.

You both respectively ate your lunches in your little corners, your soft humming bringing a comforting peace, one he still couldn't quite explain.

And from there on out, Peter learned that you did go there every day, but it was only either at lunchtime or late in the afternoon.

Because whenever Peter went during those times, you were always there.

As he said, he never actively tried to be there whenever you were. He didn't change anything with his routine. He still went there at random times of the day.

You and him crossing paths simply happened.

And most of those moments, Peter couldn't help but listen in on your rambles.

It might have been wrong, otherwise, creepy, but it wasn't like you were unaware of his presence. You weren't being loud, but you weren't exactly whispering into nothing either. If it were an unenhanced being, they would still hear you, but maybe only slightly inaudible. Peter just had the ability to make out your words a little clearer than the average person.

Besides, all your stories had been mundane at most, quite adorable at best.

Like that one time you ran into a post because you saw a cat wearing some boots and a clear raincoat across the road. Or that time you missed your stop in the subway because you kept talking to a Corgi who was lounging comfortably in their owner's backpack.

"His little legs were so cute!"

Like he said, adorable.

But if it was something personal, though, he'd learned to tune it out. He made sure to keep those matters out of his ear, leaving your private conversations, well, private.

Yet your silly and terrible jokes, your gripes about society and the unfairness of the world, to your little story times and mundane gossip of what you'd heard on the street, Peter couldn't help but tune in as if he was listening to the morning radio.

It made Peter feel lighter somewhat, a feeling he never once associated when being in a graveyard.

He didn't know if it was your stories, or if it was simply hearing that soft tone of your voice. Either way, he found it comforting, which was so strange.

Never had he ever thought he would find comfort from a stranger, no less.

A strange comfort.

•••

"People always ask why did the chicken cross the road. They never ask why the chicken didn't cross the road."

Peter perked up in curiosity, ready to hear another of the many jokes you'd completely ruined.

He found it absolutely hilarious how you were churning typical and old punchlines into horrible ones.

The funniest part was, it seemed like you were doing it on purpose.

"Why, you ask? Because they physically can't anymore," you said, pausing for added effect. "People enjoy eating chicken legs way too much."

Peter's eyes grew wide, gaze landing on the chicken leg he just finished. He couldn't stop the sound that escaped his lips.

It was a mix between a wheeze, a laugh, and a cough.

Loud enough to get your attention.

"Hey," you called, voice sounding closer. "Are you okay?"

"Oh—uhm, hi," he stammered, caught off guard when you were now suddenly in front of him. Clearing his throat, he nodded. "And yeah, I'm good,"

"Do you need some water?" You offered him a bottle.

"No, no, I've got my own," he declined, lifting his bottle. "But thank you."

"Oh okay," you said, smiling sweetly. "It just sounded like you were choking or something so I wanted to make sure if you were alright."

Peter blushed.

"No, I was…uhm—" He scratched the back of his neck. "I was holding back my laugh."

You tilted your head, bottom lip jutted out and Peter found himself thinking of ways to smooth out the little crinkled on your forehead, maybe kiss—wait what?

"Why would you do that?" you asked.

Shit.

Did I say that out loud?

"Sorry?" He blinked at you.

"Why would you hold back your laugh?"

"Oh," he sighed, mostly in relief. "Just didn't want to seem creepy and I wasn't…eavesdropping or anything but I uhm—heard your joke." Chuckling shyly, he smiled. "It was pretty funny."

"Funny because it was bad?" You raised a knowing brow. "If you say it was good then I'm really going to question your sense of humor."

"It was really bad," he admitted, breathing out a laugh.

The way your smile brightened made Peter's heart do a funny thing.

"Thanks," you giggled. "I pride myself in my bad jokes."

"Yeah," he breathed out, willing his heart to stop being so goddamn weird, what is going on with you? "And sorry for not helping the chickens cross the road."

You stared at him confused.

That was until he pointed towards the bag on the ground that had the logo of a chicken on it.

Your hearty laugh rang in the air.

Peter found himself growing warmer at the sound, the burn starting right in his chest and spreading to the whole expanse of his body.

"I—whew, sorry, wow," you heaved after a moment. "Haven't laughed like that in a while."

Both of you fell silent after that—not an awkward one. If anything, it was pleasant, like there was an unspoken understanding being exchanged with a simple look.

"This may seem like weird advice but try and talk to them," you softly said.

Peter looked at you, confused.

You gestured toward the tombstone with a sympathetic smile.

"They might hear it, they might not, there's really no way of knowing," you explained. "But what more could you lose if you try? Plus, you'll get it off your chest and that's always progress."

"I—" Peter nodded, the corner of his lips curling up. "Thank you. I'll keep it in mind."

You smiled at that. "I'll see you around."

"See you around," he hummed, gaze never leaving your figure even as you left, his eyes steady on the path you walked on as he mulled over your words.

It was kind of weird advice, but at the same time, it made perfect sense.

Peter didn't question it nor did he judge—who was he to judge? After all, everyone handled grief differently.

But as he sat down on the ground, eyes steady on the lettering of May's name, he found the words flowing out so easily.

"Hi, May I—" Peter took a sharp breath, blinking away the sting that started to settle in his eyes. "Wow. It's been a while since I've talked to you, huh?"

It started out simple, filling her up with what was new with his life recently—the job, his education, all those mundane stuff.

But then as he shifted from one topic to another, he inevitably started talking about all the things that felt so wrong. And once that train left the station, it was so difficult to stop.

It wasn't a complaint. It was an unloading of the baggage he'd been carrying around alone for quite some time now.

All the loneliness and grief, the boiling anger and consuming regret, the love and the love lost, to the bleak look of what his future held.

Peter didn't realize he was crying until a soft gush of wind brushed his cheeks, the coldness making him catch his breath with a shiver.

And then, a small white butterfly flew right in front of him, stopping momentarily before disappearing into the now setting sky.

Peter let out a breath.

Lighter and relieved.

It could've been a coincidence, or maybe it wasn't at all.

But what more could he lose if he took that as a sign that she heard him?

So with a small, tearful smile, he sighed,

"Thanks for always hearing me out, May."

Since then, he'd grown to tell May about his day. Some were tougher than others, while some were snippets of his new life—mundane and simple but starting to become fulfilling the more he looked at it from different perspectives.

As the weeks passed by, Peter's everyday visits became every other day. At first, the guilt of missing a day was heavily consuming. But it didn't take long for it slowly turn into a soft lull—still there, but not as bad as it used to be.

There was one other thing he hoped for whenever he wandered into the graveyard, though.

To see you again.

If it was one last time just so he could say thank you, then he'd take it.

That didn't mean he wasn't wishing for it to be more.

•••

The hair on every inch of Peter's body stood up when he heard it.

It was definitely not his spider sense going awry. This was very much a human reaction.

Well, he could imagine that when the first thing a person would hear as they venture into a graveyard in the dead of the night was crying, even the toughest men would get spooked.

But as soon as Peter located the source of the sound, his heart broke.

He wasn't expecting to find you, sat on the cold ground alone, hugging your knees to your chest, body shaking with sobs.

His first instinct was to fight whoever it was that made you cry because how fucking dare they?

But with a controlled breath, Peter walked over to you, making sure to step on dried leaves so you'd be aware of his presence.

Your head snapped up at the sound, puffy red eyes landing on him.

His frown could only deepen as he slowly sat beside you, offering you a tender smile with his arms wide open.

You stared at him with furrowed brows, eyes switching between his face and his open arms, downright confused.

Peter couldn't blame you. After all, you didn't know him.

He was ready for you to yell at him for being a creep, to scream at him to get lost. He was prepared for you to push him away—hell, punch him in the face—and run as fast as you could.

But instead, your lips quivered, a broken sob following suit. With your head hung low, you fell into his embrace.

And Peter hugged you as tightly as he could.

He didn't say anything, didn't feel like it was needed. He simply held you close, rubbing circles over your back as he gently rocked you from side to side.

Crying it all out until you couldn't anymore was, most of the time, the best thing you could do at the moment.

So he let you.

Only when your sobs turned to sniffles to soft shaky breaths did you pull away.

"Your shirt," you gasped shakily, bottom lip jutting out as your eyes began to water again. "Oh no, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay," he reassured, squeezing your shoulders before reluctantly letting you go. "I wouldn't have offered you a hug if I minded."

"Thank you," you whispered. "I really needed that."

"No worries." He nodded with a small smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's just—" you sighed, wiping your face with the sleeves of your coat. "It's my first holiday alone so it's been kinda tough."

"Me too," he hummed, smiling sadly when you looked at him, a mixture of surprise and understanding crossing your face. "My parents have been gone since I was a kid, and I was left with my uncle and aunt. My uncle died a few years ago so all I had left was her but now she's…"

"I'm sorry," you softly said, your hand finding his.

You gave it a squeeze.

Peter squeezed back.

"I only had my parents growing up," you started, gesturing at the tombstone. "Didn't get to meet my grandparents, never really met many of my relatives because they're all halfway across the world, so now it's just me."

Peter didn't know what it was, exactly. Maybe it was the warmth of your hand still holding his and your kind eyes bearing no judgment or pity. Maybe it was the sheer comfort you provided, one that he still couldn't quite explain.

Either way, he found himself sharing what it had been like for him. Sure, he left out details to keep his deepest secret uncovered, and to come and think about it, it was mostly things connected to Aunt May. But Peter definitely spilled way too much to someone he barely even knew.

He did not regret it one bit.

"I promised to protect her and I—"

"I'm sure you gave it your all," you assured.

"Not enough to keep her alive," he scoffed, tone far more bitter than he intended to. He caught himself, shaking his head. "Sorry, sorry—"

"Never apologize for how you feel," you said firmly.

Peter nodded, his attention caught by your thumb that was absentmindedly running circles over the back of his hand. You'd been holding onto it as you listened to his story, and he found himself not minding it at all.

If anything, a part of him wanted you to never let go.

"But I get it," you breathed out. "The whole 'this is my fault' thing."

"Was it an accident?" he asked softly.

You nodded. "Car crash. Some drunk frat boys thought it was a good idea to test out how fast they could go in their new truck into an open road."

He frowned. "That's not your fault."

"It is," you insisted. "They wouldn't have been out on the road in the first place if they weren't coming to pick me up in the dead of the night." Shaking your head, you scoffed, "I wish I could say I was at a friend's house but they were coming to bail me out of jail."

Attempting to lighten up the mood, Peter softly bumped his shoulder with yours. "Am I in the midst of a troublemaker?"

That earned him a teary chuckle.

He took it as a win.

"Not quite," you sighed, your smile fading. "Got hung up with the wrong crowd. They kept teasing me that I was too much of a miss goody two shoes and that I should live a little."

"Peer pressure is one nasty thing."

"Yeah well, I still did it." You shrugged, anxiously gnawing on your bottom lip. "A group of us were walking home from a party and we passed by this random minimart on the way. My so-called friends thought it was a good idea to dare me to steal one thing from the store, to break my 'good girl' streak as they put it.

"They all gave me ultimatums, one of them was either I steal something or they'll tell the whole school that I was the real definition of 'The freaks in bed are always the quiet ones' so my loser reputation is no more. They said they can't hang around me anymore if I kept being the loser of the group. It was tough because they were all the friends I had."

Peter couldn't stop the surge of pure anger that ran through him. "They sound fucking horrible."

"Yeah, and I was stupid enough to go along with it." Shaking your head, you chuckled, tone void of humor. "It wasn't even the owner who saw me, it was some random white woman yelling bloody murder as if I was burning the goddamn place down. And the second my friends saw the security guards? Oh, they ran, left me there to fend for myself."

Peter unclenched his fist, settling to rub circles on your back instead.

"It was one candy," you choked back a sob, gesturing towards the tombstone. "But the punishment feels—"

Peter wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in for a side hug when you started crying again.

"And you know what hurts most?" you whimpered, fisting his jacket as you laid your head on his shoulder. "Knowing that the last memory they had of me was just filled with disappointment."

"I'm sure that's not true," he said softly, squeezing you close. "They loved you."

"I know they did I just—"

"Wish you could go back and change every decision you made?"

You lifted your head off his shoulder and looked at him, eyes glossy yet he saw the flicker of gratefulness in them.

Peter felt it in himself too, an appreciation to finding someone who could understand even the littlest bit of what he was going through.

"Yeah," you shakily breathed out, letting out a soft laugh as you wiped your nose. "God, what a way to celebrate the holidays, huh?"

He chuckled at that, nodding.

It was definitely something, crying your heart out, spilling all your trauma to a stranger in the dead of night at a graveyard.

But there was only one thought that stayed at the forefront of his mind.

Peter didn't feel so alone anymore.

"Yeah," he hummed, a shy smile playing on his lips. "But I'm glad I'm not alone."

Your whole face brightened, your fingers interlacing with his.

"Me too," you said, smiling. "We're going to be okay."

Peter felt some weight lift off his entire back at those simple words of reassurance.

"We're going to be okay."

Teasingly bumping his shoulder with yours, you hummed, "I'm Y/N, by the way."

You both laughed at the absurdity of it, getting to know each other's pain, regret, hurt and grief before even getting the chance to know a name.

"Peter," he sighed, squeezing your hand. "Peter Parker."

Later that night, he somehow gathered up the courage to ask if you wanted to get some hot cocoa with him. And when you said yes with that smile he'd grown to adore so much, Peter had an inkling that you wouldn't stay a stranger to him in the long run.

But for now, as you laid your head on his shoulder, your soft breaths visible in the cold air, tiny snowflakes on your lashes, face glowing underneath the moonlight, warmth and contentment bloomed in his chest.

Peter was smiling.

Genuine and pure, and perhaps a sign of a new beginning.

A stranger's comfort wasn't so bad, after all.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ♛ *.

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pigeonp0st · 27 days

Text

Lena Luthor x Reader #3

Summary: Lena breaks up with Reader to keep her safe from Lex. Reader hatches a plan to get rid of him that goes terribly wrong, and naturally, torture follows. This mostly takes place after she’s found again.

Warnings:

Angst,torture, depression, trauma, childhood trauma

Notes:

Hey! I’m going about writing differently now. Everything I write from here on out will most likely be straight from the tumblr drafts and fairly quick. Something I decide to do in a random sitting (unless it’s paid for). Fair warning that this isn’t that, this is just something I worked on ages ago and didn’t publish. I did NO SPELLING CHECKS and remember writing at 2am, so warning number 2

———————

Lena loathed the DEO in that moment. She loathed Alex, and she loathed Supergirl , and she loathed every damn agent in the building so that she didn’t have to loathe herself instead. It’s not enough, there was still a small part of her that she couldn’t ignore, a part of her that screamed; ‘you should have held on. You should have been there’

She knows she should have been there. She knows she failed you before anyone else did. She knows. But she’s trying now and she doesn’t know how to get it to matter to the world. Trying won’t save you, and trying hasn’t led you back to her.

Trying has only led you there, far from Lena, laying somewhere unknown with a body and a heart too worn. Though, Lena imagines, that’s probably not a new feeling for you. She trembles with the image of Lex mocking her on video, holding a gun to your head, she trembles and thinks, I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.

Then, miraculously;

“Found her!” Winn shouts loudly, raising his Supergirl action figure in victory, and Lena, CEO, multibillionaire, crumbles in relief in front of dozens of agents in the middle of the DEO.

—-

When you wake up Lena feels her heart stop.

She wanted to kiss you, hold you. She wanted to be the type of person that stayed. She wanted to be the type of person worth staying for.

She wanted to believe the both of you would be okay, and she wanted to hold your face and tell you that. That you’d be okay. She wanted more than anything in that moment to be the type of person that said the right thing. That did the right thing.

She wasn’t. She wasn’t any of the people she wanted to be. Your eyes met hers, full of sorrow, and human and hurt, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t because she was scared, and because she was human also. She wasn’t—so she leaves.

Now, as she’s gripping herself in the hallways of the DEO, struggling against the weight of what feels like worlds on her shoudlers, choking on breaths that should have been being shared with you, she’s filled with so much self contempt it could fuel the whole government. Whoever said that “It’s better to have loved and loss, than to have never loved at all”, has never met the two of you and has never loved this desperately.

Loving you made her feel just as much as losing you had, and is it worth it? Maybe, but It’s certainly not better to be feeling this than not ever feeling it. Can’t those things coexist? Can’t it be better for her to never love, but can’t loving also be a choice she’d make despite all the pain?

Can’t you love the things that will destroy us in the end? Doesn’t she always?

She should go back in. She should go back in and ask for forgiveness, but the fear of ruining things further, of the both of you hurting each other further, prevents her from trying to fix things.

When she broke up with you she had just wanted to protect you from Lex. Losing you like that would have nothing compared to—

Lena shivers, shakes her head, and clutches onto herself more tightly with trembling fingers.

“You’re hyperventilating,” Alex says from where she’s leaning against the wall beside Lena. Her eyes are watchful, careful, but Lena feels them like daggers.

She straightens, forces out a; “wow, you really are an amazing analyzer, detective,” and nearly gets a smirk for her troubles—but Alex is too soft, too caring to give her that. She moves towards her, ever the big sister, but Supergirl rushes in first.

“Lena,” Supergirl—Kara, Kara, Lena thinks, and often starts to forget, except when Kara looks at her like this—breathes out.

Lena steps back from them both, the humanity in the room tears her apart, reminds her of her lack of, and destroys her. “You have to…to warn people when you do that…super speed thing,” Lena grits out, cutting Kara off before she can even begin to try and be…be good. She gestures towards the room with shaky hands and begins to try and compose herself lHow long was she awake while I was asleep?”

Kara and Alex look at each other. Say nothing. “Guys—”

“She woke up two hours ago,” Alex says, at the same time Kara says; “you were wiped out—didn’t even hear the nurses, of course we couldn’t just wake you up”

Two hours, and she was asleep. Lena goes cold instantly. She remembers hearing Lex had you, remembers it like one remembers the worst moment of their life; both intimately and not at all. She remembers hearing Supergirl had you—that you were breathing , but people only say that when someone is very not okay, and Lena remembers the way adrenaline had rushed through her. She had felt both alive and utterly useless through it, and it sticks to her even now.

Alive, but asleep, never the person she needs to be to protect you. How alone have you felt because of her? How scared?

“Lena,” Kara starts again, “Lena, she wanted you to sleep— ”

“Go in there,” Alex cuts her off, gets a very annoyed look for it, because they both can’t seem to help cutting each other off today. “You want to show her she’s not alone, that she’s safe? I promise you that the only way she’ll feel that is with you there.”

Kara nods, suddenly straightening and transforming into Supergirl just like that, just in the stance. “Hero complexes will serve nothing except separation and loneliness. You taught me that. Stronger together, Lena.”

Wanting to save you had left you alone, and yes, alone to Lena meant away from Lex, but he’s not the only scary thing in this world, and she should have known that he’d never forget how to destroy her. To leave you alone, Lena thinks, was the worst thing she could have done.

While you were away Lena had to confront herself. Had to realize that so far, every good thing in her life has come with a cost, has led to ruin, and the threat of Lex…it had just seemed to her like the time had come. Like it was her only option. To sacrifice, to sacrifice and hurt.

If Lex had won by separating the two of you, then he had one like that. In her mind, Lena had already been destroyed, of course she imagined that to be the end of it, that he wouldn’t touch you. She’d rather hurt by pushing you away than you dying. Even the thought—

God, she’s so tired of being a coward. To being so scared of losing you that she’s willing to destroy you both.

Kara and Alex hating what she’s done in the unspoken way that they do hurts even more in a way Lena’s used to, because it hurts like regret. Their stances have turned from concerned and loving, to protective heroes. She should have never left you alone. Not when she was scared of Lex, and not now. She gives both Kara and Alex a firm nod and tries to walk past to get into the room. To make things right.

Kara stops her with a hand on her shoulder. She drops it instantly when Lena turns towards her. Ever the fragile hero, always afraid of her own hands for the strength they hold. “Before that…” Kara coughs awkwardly, “Um…we need you to understand her injuries…and what happened.”

—-

When Lena walks into the room, it’s not like you thought she would. She’s not the fragile human curled up in a chair, or the terrified women fleeing your medical room. She’s angry with rage and a whirlwind of feelings, caught in a tornado of emotion. She’s large in the way she’s always been, and yet it has never left you feeling so small.

You sink back into your hospital bed, pull the covers to your chin, and watch her.

“You went after him?” Lena hisses out, so lowly, so sharply, that she might as well have cut the words into your skin for the way that it dig into you. “Everything I’ve ever done is to protect you, and you just decided to throw it all away like it means nothing? Do you have any idea—”

“You were protecting yourself!”

Lena stops. She was pacing, shaking with emotion, but she stops dead in her tracks at the sound of your voice. You yell it, and yet it’s still somehow silent. Your throat is ruined, a testament to the cruelty of Lex, and the evidence of that and more is written on your skin. You’re covered in injuries. Your brokenness has never been more visible, you think, and it should leave you feeling fragile, and it does, god it does, but right now it gives you power.

Power over Lena, who looks at you like her life hangs in the palm of her hand.

“You think I’m stupid, that I don’t know that every fiber of your being is laced with fear?” You whisper now, hand on your throbbing throat. “You left me for you, and I went after Lex for me.” Its venom. Venom, and anger, and all of the thing you know Lena takes In stride. The thing she strives on.

It hangs in the air for a second. Then Lena, beautiful Lena, kneels by the side of your bed. CEO, one of the most powerful people in this city; on her knees for you. She doesn’t look invigorated, doesn’t looked fueled by anger, just looks sad with regrets.

“I did it for me,” Lena agrees, so soft, so not like them; not like her family. “I did it for you, too. Of course I did it for you, and maybe it was a terrible thing to do—led by my trauma talking to me—but don’t lay there and deny I wasn’t thinking of you,” she breathes, then pauses, eyes tracing your busted lips, bruised face, bruised neck. Her jaw trembles and her lips part, she looks as if she wants to say more, but her eyes are haunted by the home she grew up in.

As if reading your mind Lena whispers, “they haunt me. It’s as if I can never let go. I’m so sick of it. I’m so sick of it.” She closes her eyes with furrowed brows, as if not looking at you will prevent the shake in her voice. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For them. For them now, for them back then, and for them in the future—if you still want to be in my life, you have to know I can’t escape them. Even when they’re not there they’re there. It…god, it makes me sick.”

When Lena raises her hands and grips herself, digging her fingers into her skin like she wants to pull the trauma and memories out of herself, like she wants to get rid of them, something in you breaks. Breaks because your arms are raw and aching, and it wasn’t Lex. Breaks because you know so intimately what it’s like to face reality and find it so frustratingly unchangeable. To want so much, and for it to mean nothing is the most devastating thing.

To be so large, and so small.

You’ve been crying, and Lena doesn’t notices until a sob falls from your lips. You’ve been trying to hold it in, but when she startles up at it and looks at you with that same wanting, like you’re her heart walking and she’d give anything to take your hurt, the sobs break through like a dam. They break through and it hurts because there is no part of you left unbroken.

When you sob it disturbs your broken ribs, disturbs the bruises covering your torso, rips at your tarnished vocal cords, and has the machines in the room beeping so loud it alerts the nurses.

—-

Lena doesn’t even have time to stand before the nurses rush in and pull the blanket off of you. There’s no words to describe the shift that happens in side of her when she sees the extent of your injuries.

It’s like something both breaks and rebuilds in her, and then breaks again, paralyzing her. Then, she sees a nurse heading towards you with a syringe and it activates her.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Lena says, or thinks she says. She can’t recognize the venom in her voice, doesn’t feel apart of her body.

She’s moving in between the nurse and you, but your sobs begin to bring her back to reality.

“She needs to be put under, she’s hurting herself—”

Lena doesn’t pay attention to her, just sees Alex and Supergirl enter the room. Sees the way Alex shakes her head and nods to the corner of the room, and follows in suit while every fiber of her being says to do otherwise.

It kills her that she can’t protect you. Can’t protect you from the nurses that you try to pull away from, can’t protect you from the hurt on your skin, or in your heart, couldn’t protect you from— she thinks of Lex. Lex when he was her big, smart older brother that she admired more than anyone in the world.

She thinks of the way he’d give her a cheeky roll of his eyes behind Lillian’s back after a small verbal lashing. Thinks of every chess game, every hide n seek game, every reassuring grin. You’re smarter than they know Lena, he’d say, and she’d beam, not noticing the progressive darkness in his eyes as he said it.

Her eyes don’t leave you as the nurses put you down again. She thinks; I’ll kill him. In her peripheral she knows Kara is watching the floor, and feels Alex watching her. When the nurses cover you back up and they both turn towards you, Lena knows it was out of respect for you. She’s grateful for it—somewhere in her thunder of emotions she’s thankful for them, but also feels a bit of anger towards them.

This is why they kept her from seeing you when you were brought in?

“Why doesn’t she have a hospital gown?” Lena asks in a whisper.

“She took it off, said it hurt when the nurses moved it, and that it was sticking to her. Constricting her,” Kara explains, she sighs, shakes her head, and then turns towards Lena as Supergirl. With a fire in her eyes.

The same one in Lena as she allows herself to ask the very question she wanted to run from hours ago. “Where’s Lex?”

“No.” It’s both Supergirl and Alex.

“Alive then? Okay,” Lena starts towards the door. “If you’re here, he’s here. I’ll find him easily enough.”

Supergirl, familiarly, stands in her ways. Eyes sympathetic next to Alex’s hardness. “Where are you when you’re with them?” Alex asks from behind her. When you let them guide every bad decision you make, she hears.

Lena stops. Thinks about control, about gods, about leaving you to wake up alone again, thinks about murder, both in her blood and not, thinks about Lex with a gun to your head, with fists, and kicks, and a maniac smile, thinks about her dad in the same way—standing over Lex while Lillian gripped Lena back. She thinks of cycles, thinks of protection and all the ways it’s possible, all the ways she’s capable, more capable then him.

Smarter, Lena remembers Lillian saying casually. Always smarter than.

Better than, Kara will say.

The good one, Alex will joke.

My hero, you’d grin. Lena feels herself split. Starts forward again.

Kara whispers now, “Heroes don’t kill, Lena.”

Alex, “it’s both the best and most terrible thing about us.”

Us.

Lena wants to yell, wants to crumble, wants to curl by your side, wants to kill Lex with her bare hands, wants to erase the Luthor history from her mind, from her body, wants to erase it from yours even more. Wants it so desperately, so acutely it hurts. Sadness fills the room, suffocates them all.

Kara is watching you again, Alex keeps glancing back, they’re both unconcerned about Lena now. Full faith in her to be who they claim she is. Lena returns to the seat by your bed and allows herself to be that person.

“Whatever cell he’s in, I’m building it,” Lena whispers, thinking of the cuffs she’ll put on him, wondering if she can somehow slow down his mind.

Alex nods, running her hands down her face. The past couple hours have completely exhausted her in a way Lena’s not used to seeing from her. Alex cares so much about you, and it shouldn’t surprise Lena but It does. “We’re thinking about sending him to the phantom zone.”

Here, Lena is more surprised. They must know that’s a death sentence. Lena glances at Supergirl, she’s still watching you but she’s clearly listening, her eyes have turned hard. They aren’t underestimating Lex. They clearly know the responsibility that’ll bear on them if he escapes again.

Lena feels another bought of gratitude towards them as she takes your hand, and trusts them to handle the person she trusts no one to handle.

——

When you wake up the second time it’s because nurses are dapping you with wet cloths, clearly trying to clean you. They apologize profusely, say they thought the drugs would keep you down longer, and offer to finish the cleaning after you’ve gotten more pain killers.

Your eyes dart around rapidly, chest constricting in anxiety, and then you see Lena. She’s standing by the door, clearly trying to keep out of the nurses way. She’s not full of rage and untouchable in that way, and she’s not fragile, she’s strong.

Her eyes are hard, but not cold. They’re determined, and loving, and they’re your strength too. You suck in a shaky breath, whisper; “thank you. Later might be an option”, as you try to focus on Lena and not the thought of the nurses hands on you turning into Lex’s violent ones.

When they all shuffle out Lena quietly returns to the spot by your bed. This Lena somehow makes you feel more fragile than angry, furious Lena had, because in the place of your defensiveness you’re left to feel your guilt.

“I’m…I’m not weak, Lena.” It feels stupid to claim now as you lay in a hospital bed feeling nothing but. You clench your jaw. Lena’s hand reaches up and takes your chin, forcing you to meet her eyes. She’s not gentle, certainly not rough, but her firmness gives you the power to continue. She’s the stable ground that helps you find your footing.

You find it. Meet her gaze unblinking. “I’m not Supergirl, I’m not you, I’m not Alex, or Jon, or Winn, or James, or Kelly, or— or Lex…I’m not capable in the particular ways you guys are, but I am capable.”

Lena’s eyes fall to your throat. You grip her wrist, the one holding your face, and her eyes meet yours apologetically. “I know,” she says, so softly, so quietly. “You being here is the evidence of it, isn’t it?”

You nod, but you aren’t done. “I’m not sure what Supergirl told you. Clearly she told you I went after Lex, and in a way that’s true, but more so I wanted him to come after me,” you pause. Lena is watching you with furrowed eyes, clearly trying to piece together what you’re explaining before you finish.

Her lips part after just another moment. She’s figured it out you realize, feeling a bit of pride because of it. Pride because she has faith in you, pride because she‘s so incredibly quick and you have had the privilege to know her so acutely. “All of this…was your plan?” Lena asks, sounding both shocked and not.

You wince, brushing aside her hand so you can look down, adverting your gaze. “Well…not all of it.” Memories flash through your mind. “I thought he’d keep me captive, not…” you left out a frustrated breath, angry, so angry at yourself for not being able to speak about it. Speak about him.

“It was a game to him, of course. He’d torture me, send you a video to torture you. He’d get you chasing him. He’s always liked the thrill.” Your eyes stay on Lena’s fists. Watch as they clench so tightly to her side that they shake. “I knew he loved messing with you, and was partly counting on it, not like that but— but maybe just having me wouldn’t have been enough, maybe it was good he did what he did—got so high off of it his guard lowered.”

“Don’t say that,” Lena pleads. You startle up at the sound of her trembling voice doing everything not to cry.

You breathe in; your ribs hurt. You breathe out; they hurt again. Lena shakes her head at herself, frustrated and biting her lip. She’s having a battle with composure and losing.

“Kara told me how you stole his nanotech and used it to immobilize him. That the tech that was missing from my lab last week was found with the stuff he confiscated from you. That you hacked his computer with my prototype to send her the location to his headquarters underground,” Lena rushes out, “I didn’t know you planned to get taken to his HQ, to steal his nanotech, didn’t know that anyone besides me and the DEO knew what he was working on.”

It’s a quick summary of the things you’ve done, leaving out the weeks of planning, leaving out the struggles of actually setting the plan in motion when the shifting variables shifted in a way you weren’t prepared for. It should leave you proud, but when you think of what you managed all you remember is pain and struggle.

“You stopped Lex like you planned. So many people are saved because of you. An unfathomable amount, and yet,”she says. And yet, you think, heart fluttering because you know Lena will say the very thought that kills you to think of, but the thought that can’t escape you anyways. “What…what you did was monumental, and thank you, but god, I so wish you hadn’t,” Lena breathes. “He gone, and yet he has never been so present. Perhaps you felt the effects of him through me before, but you know now what it’s like to have him really present, always right over your shoulder, and that…I would’ve given the world for otherwise.”

It’s exactly the same thoughts you have had. To hear it from Lena, someone you admire and trust so much, someone you believe to be good with every piece of you, someone you’d follow everywhere—it’s like a medicine for guilt.

“What I said before…about doing what I did for me,” Lena shakes her head, ever understanding, like she doesn’t need you to finish. You do though. “I did it for me because I wanted desperately for you to still be mine, and getting rid of Lex was the avenue for that,” you admit. “I didn’t want him to plague you anymore either.”

You hesitate. Memories of Lena pacing at night—startling awake, watching the news with the grimness of someone attending a funeral—memories of Lena’s affectedness come to you. Her humaneness at hearing Lex escaped again, and in her humanity in her vulnerability.

“I want to take responsibility, so I don’t want to say I did it for you, but what you said earlier made me realize everything is a bit of both. I did it for me, I did it for you too.”

Lena laughs. Laughs. It shocks you, causes you to jump and stop looking at your hand, causes you to meet her gaze again. “Ow,” you growl, unamused, because Lena is still laughing. She’s covering her face and has the decency to look apologetic.

Your ribs hurt from the startle but even you can’t help but be confusedly amused.

“I want to hate,” Lena starts, mirth in her voice, “that you did the thing I wanted you to do least in the world, and you got exactly what you wanted out of it. You captured lex, and in a way captured me back too.”

“Oh,” you perk up, smiling up at Lena innocently. “Guess I’m the brains now, brawn.”

Lena’s eyes narrow at you. “That insinuates that you were ever the brawn.”

Back to glaring. Lena lets out another huff of laughter and brushes your hair back, away from a cut on your forehead. Her eyes are so soft, so full of warmth, and love that you could cry. Would cry, perhaps, if it wouldn’t hurt every part of your body.

Instead you grin, because that’s what humans are taught to do instead of cry, and ask, gently—feeling like a shaky child; “does that mean you’re my girlfriend again?”

—-

Lena’s eyes widen as she realizes what she implied, and as you own up to it so hesitantly, so childlike, like Lena could ever think of pushing you away after everything. Her words, not for the first time today, betray her. All she can do is nod.

Your responding grin is heroin to Lena. You smile so wide the cut on your lip breaks open again and starts bleeding, but you pay it no mind. Lena does. She smiles back, albeit more gently, and squishes your cheeks together to prevent the split widening.

You pout in her hands. Lena’s heart flutters. She keeps getting hit randomly with momentous emotion, and she’s hit again with it now. The softness of this moment feels like seeing a rainbow after months of storms.

You here, alive, looking at Lena with so much love in your eyes, so much understanding. It feels like a fantasy. Feels like a lucid dream, a dream she’d choose, over, and over again, until the end of time.

Lena leans in and kisses you—not on the lips, they are cut and bruised. She kisses you on the space just below your eye. A spot, one of the few spots, clear of visible injury. She takes pleasure in the way you flush like it’s the first time. She always did, will always do. “I love you,” Lena whispers, promising herself that even if there are days you won’t believe her, there will never be a day you don’t hear it.

It’s you, and it’s her, and it’s the mountains of history and trauma you two are fighting against. Lena likes the both of your odds. Loves winning just as much.

You’ll beat Lex she knows. There will be a day soon where he stops haunting the two of you. Where he’s not even a thought. When that time comes you’ll have won the war, but for now she’ll take the pride of winning every battle in stride, for now, in the now; she’ll cherish every moment, the many moments, when trauma leaves the room and love consumes it.

“Lena Luthor,” you breathe. You breathe. “My love, my hero.”

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dungeonmalcontent · 4 months

Text

I fixed alignment!

Link to the document in question if you don't care to hear the tale of it.

That's a really ambitious thing to declare. I even already went to the trouble of making this because I've been planning on announcing like this.

But, yeah.

Maybe I didn't fix it, per se. At worst, you can call this an alternative system to traditional alignment. And it all started because people were getting a little too complicated talking about the "nuance" of the standard alignment system and things like the MTG mana color system.

And my response was going to be "what ya'll are trying to get at is a spider graph." But that extended response post got annihilated because I didn't save it as a draft before switching tabs. So I started writing it up as its own post. And that lead to me making some demonstration graphs, and that lead to me going ahead and just writing up a whole essay. And then I adapted that essay into a variant rules module for 5e d&d.

So. Yeah. That's how I ended up making Re:Alignment. (get it, it's like a pun, because "re:" is the default header for a reply email and I'm responding to the trash state of alignment in 5e, but it's also read as "realignment" like repairing a misalignment.. it's clever, just trust me)

The document is 11 pages and can be read in its entirety as a preview on DMsGuild if you follow the link to it (easier to do on desktop). The doc outline how this approach to alignment changes how alignment works, the actual alignment system itself, and describes what I have essentially replaced good, evil, lawful, chaotic, and neutral with. I also included a print friendly PDF sheet to fit into a character sheet where you can track your spider graph alignment and other important alignment based RP information. Also also, there's a standalone graph jpg that you can slap onto a modified character sheet or other RP tool of your choice.

The doc is priced as "pay what you want", so if you want a downloaded copy or one you can print (though hopefully not the last page, because I make those all black) you can get it for free. If you want to throw a little money my way or if you really like the system, you can pay however much money you want. It was like 48 hours of work, so a decent amount of effort went into this.

If you're wondering "what did this moron replace the alignments with?" I'll answer that right now. I replaced alignment with this:

If you want to figure out what that means and how it works, read the doc. It's not that long and it describes it pretty thoroughly.

#d&d #dnd #dungeons and dragons #homebrew #5e #ttrpg #fantasy #writing #alignment #dmsguild #re:alignment

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m1d-45 · 9 months

Note

I just used all my saved primogems on wanderer's banner and he still didnt come home 😭

Can I request a small sagau fic about him for comfort

rest

word count: ~1k

-> warnings: dialogue heavy reader, no spoilers though

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr

< masterlist >

your door was creaky. another thing to fix.

“why are you awake?”

but at least your wanderer was back.

you sit up from where you’re laying on the couch, taking a breath to clear your expression before turning to watch him come in. he shuts the door quietly despite the permanently sour look on his face, taking off his hat.

“welcome back. how was school?”

he made a face and you laughed, waving him over to join you. though he did walk closer, he merely crossed his arms and stood at the end of the couch. still, his voice wasn’t nearly as harsh as it could have been, “why do you insist on saying it like that?”

“the akademiya is a school, right?”

he stares, and you smile. it’s clear he doesn’t have an argument.

“i’m a professor.”

“you’re still going to school.”

“why are you upset?”

your smile slips. were you that transparent? “nothing for you to worry about. uh, you said you would be collecting draft essays today, right? how’d that go?”

his face shifts, softening just slightly around the edges. his hands fall, one propping on his side instead. “don’t change the subject.”

you could make a joke, but you’re too tired to try. the brief banter had given you some energy, but now…

you sigh, looking down to the discarded papers on the coffee table. letters, mostly, but a few diagrams you were supposed to look over. plans for a festival, a new shrine (how many did teyvat need?), the nth invitation to a lunch or event or whatever was going on that hour. you were honestly getting a headache before he showed up, and that wasn’t even addressing the other issues not on paper. “even gods can’t escape paperwork.”

he pulls all the papers—there’s a few not even taken from their envelopes yet, how did that happen—into a pile near the edge of the table, then sits beside you. he picks up a paper and skims it, then puts it to the side. “why are you handling this? shouldn’t someone else?”

you lean on his shoulder, watching as he begins to sort all the papers into two piles. you can’t pick out whatever pattern he’s using: some he lingers on for a few seconds, some he tosses in an instant. “they were addressed to me.”

“so? you don’t have to personally respond to every piece of fanmail.” he tosses one envelope into the second, larger pile with more force than the others. “it’s ridiculous. you should know better than to try and do all of this yourself.”

he’s probably right. as prickly as he can be, nine out of ten he at least had a good idea on how to approach an issue. he’d even clocked that you were stressed despite the fact that there was no was he could have seen your expression from the door.. though that may have something to do with your inability to hide your exhaustion when you turned.

“there.” he sets a final paper in the first, much smaller pile, then taps it into a neater stack. “this are the things that actually require your attention. don’t waste your time with things that don’t matter.”

“what about the other pile?”

“they don’t matter.”

“that’s rude.”

“it’s true. i can tell you’re tired already-“ damn, you didn’t want to worry him “-and i can guarantee most problems people have faced you with are better handled by others.”

“dear…”

“i’m serious.” he picks up the larger second pile, arranging them into a neater stack. “what do you have to do? name them.”

“theres a merchant in liyue-“

“that can be handled by the ministry of civil affairs.” he sets the pile down, leaning back. “what else?”

“an outbreak in mondstat-“

“knights of favonius’ problem.”

“a few rogues in sumeru have been defacing my statues.”

he paused, and you adjusted your position, leaning your back against him instead. he lifted his arm and put it across your chest, and when he spoke it was much softer. “still better handled by the mahamatra. if you aren’t directly involved, there’s no need to worry about them.”

“but they’re asking for help…”

“they’re asking the wrong person. trust me, you’re above them and their petty squabbles. in fact.. you should take a nap.”

“what?”

he moved toward the end of the couch, laying your head in his lap. “take a nap. or just lie down, i don’t care. relax for a bit. these people have given you too much stress already, it’s better if you didn’t waste any more energy on them.”

he was looking away, still obviously trying to keep up the image of indifference, but you could still spot the cracks. his hand still stayed on your shoulder, tracing random shapes across your shirt, and he didn’t say anything snarky when you put your own hand over his.

he cared for you, just as you cared for him. he cared enough that he’d remind you not to worry about unnecessary things, that he’d physically put himself between you and whatever problem the world demanded you face, even though on the surface it wouldn’t seem like he viewed you with anything less than distaste.

well, to others it was a conundrum. to you it was pretty clear, as who else would he sit with like this? he regularly ranted on about those who attended his lectures, still dismissed the words of mahamatra, still ignored most other authorities save for possibly nahida. but for you, he’d sort through your paperwork and have you sleep where he could ensure you did… he was sweet like that.

you smiled. “you’re adorable.”

“i am not.”

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tenjikubaby · 1 year

Text

i say let them cook 🔥🔥🔥

I have returned from the dead. Happy Izana and Mocchi anime debut + other Tenjiku member crumbs! Here, have a post that has been cooking in my drafts.

RAN

Ran, cooking for himself, would go for easy, “lazy” recipes if ordering takeout wasn’t an option. If he’s cooking for you, though, he would want to impress. He’ll browse a bunch of recipe lists on his laptop and pick the most impressive-looking dishes thinking that cooking them “can’t be that hard.”

Goes on a trip to the grocery store for fresh ingredients, but soon finds out, after procrastinating his cooking that a) he got the wrong condiment/spice, or b) got the wrong cut of meat, or c) forgot a very important ingredient so Rindou kinda just finds his usually calm brother panicking in the kitchen because he doesn’t really want to disappoint. He soon regrets ever appearing because Ran sends him to the grocery store to get the right ingredients.

Rindou’s troubles did not end there because Ran had him help out in the cooking process when the guy just wanted to play video games. “Rindou, which one is the cilantro again?” “Rindou, slice the carrots.” “Rindou, why aren’t the slices even?” “Rindou, this is too salty. I think you oversea—” and poor Rin kind of just loses it.

RINDOU

He and Ran have the money to constantly eat out or order takeout, but ever since Rindou started following a diet, he’s learned to cook healthy dishes for himself. He’ll probably want to fix up something healthy for you too. What can I say, he cares about your health! Might actually scold you if he finds out you’ve been eating fatty stuff too often.

Rindou proposed the idea to you without thinking and didn’t expect you to agree so now he has to deliver! The pressure he feels to perform is no joke--like Ran, he would rather eat coal than disappoint his expectant S/O.

He’s a decent enough cook, more okay with getting his hands dirty than Ran. He’s no Kakucho, but he gets along just fine. If he can make food that’s edible and nutritious, then that’s good, right? But because of you, Rindou finds himself watching a bunch of how-to videos before the day of the house date.

Will be over the moon if you liked what he made! Eats up the praise and feels really good about himself. Does a dorky little fist pump and a deep sigh of relief once out of your sight.

SHION

Shion always goes for fast food/junk food if not eating over at someone else’s place or bullying people into giving him money for food. This guy cannot cook. He’d have to ask for help from another S62 member for this. He tries to ask Mocchi, Mucho, Rindou, and even Izana but they all just refer him to Kaku. Shion would rather die before asking someone younger than him for help. I mean, Kaku is already stronger and better than him at fighting and he’s bitter about that. It takes you telling him that you’re looking forward to his dish that he finally gives in, swallows his pride, and asks for help.

Shion was a difficult student. He’s the type to keep insisting that he already knows all the procedures and cooking terms only to fail at them horribly. It takes all of Kaku’s patience for them to get through the recipe.

When he gets something right, Shion starts to idealize cooking. He imagines himself finding a new passion in cooking, imagining Gordon Ramsay praising his dish, and running his own restaurant but this all stops when Kaku tells him to fry an egg.

IZANA

If he’s feeling stressed about preparations, the other Tenjiku boys have no choice but to help or else he’s going to make it everyone’s problem. They can even pinch stuff from your feast if they want.

Probably saves a bunch of recipes and has trouble deciding which ones to cook for you because he wants to make them all. Kaku helps him settle on a few easy dishes (”No, Izana. We can’t make Risotto. That’s difficult for beginners.”)

I’d place him at a spot higher than Rindou and Ran if we were to rank them all. Izana doesn’t really need that much help figuring out how things are done if he’s never done them before. Would feel more confident attempting to experiment in the kitchen. Has a thing for decorating too.

To buy ingredients, he would use his gang money to get everything he needs. For you, he’ll go for fancier/pricier than what he usually gets for himself. Would not just cook one dish as well. Would make up an entire feast for the both of you. Likes a dinner date with lights and everything. Might even play his guitar for you or put on a movie.

KAKUCHO

You don’t even need to ask Kaku to cook for you because he’ll want to do it the moment he falls in love. Anniversaries are where he’d prepare a whole candlelit dinner for the two of you. There’d be a full-course meal consisting of food you both enjoy.

Like Rindou, Kaku can be health-conscious (though I’d say Rindou is stricter on himself), and would want to make nutritious stuff for you. He’s got this double standard where he’s okay with eating really unhealthy food from time to time but doesn’t want you to do the same.

He’d be more prepared than the others. Kaku takes note of any allergies you may have, or ingredients that you love/hate. He knows how to deal with picky eaters too. If you hate some veggies because of their texture, then he’ll find a way to make them you-friendly.

MOCCHI

I headcanon that he goes to the gym with Rindou and Kaku and has traded recipes with them once in a while though Mocchi would eat anything from healthy to unhealthy, because he can “work it all off” anyway.

Mocchi’s a great cook. His dishes are more of the homey, hearty comfort food type. He learned to cook from his mom, so a lot of the stuff he makes were recipes learned from her. It’s also kind of a way for him to share his childhood with his loved one/s.

If you like corn like he does, then good for you! He’ll find a way to put corn in any and every dish he makes. For him, you just can never go wrong with corn. But if you don’t like corn, he’d be unable to comprehend that fact for a while before deciding to adjust his recipes for you.

MUCHO

Mucho would be great at desserts. He dreams to run a cafe someday, so he has learned to cook and bake and make coffee early on. In fact, I think he’d make you try a lot of these recipes before putting them on his future cafe menu.

He takes this all really seriously and it’s endearing. He asks for your constructive criticism after you try the food and makes sure to create a good ambiance where you’re eating too. To top it all off, he’ll even play some relaxing instrumentals in the background!

Each dish in the meal complements each other wonderfully. He selects the perfect side dishes to go with what, and the perfect drink and dessert to go with it all. It’s such a well-planned meal and you can tell he really put thought into it.

There is a soft smile on his face as he watches you enjoy the food. He’s a big Acts of Service guy, I just know it.

#ran haitani #rindou haitani #shion madarame #izana kurokawa #kakucho #kanji mochizuki #yasuhiro muto #tenjikubaby #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers headcanons #tenjiku

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borathae · 2 years

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↳ Index [Snippet #27 - Mad at You]

“When you make it up to Jungkook after getting him angry.”

Genre: Smut, established relationship!AU

Warnings: sulky!Kook, dom!Jungkook, sub!Reader, he is cocky in a sexy way, and he can be because he knows how to fuck, make up sex, thigh humping, dirty talk, he calls her princess & good girl, she calls herself his cockslut like once, praising, edging (f.receiving), anal play (f.receiving), rimming, anal fingering, oral (f. & m.receiving), deep throating, doggy style, cum play, spitting kink, he spits on her asshole, double penetration with finger+cock, this is the most loving angry sex ever, slight scent kink, major strength & size kink, unprotected sex but they are clean & on birth control, sweet aftercare cuddles

Wordcount: 6.3k

a/n: I don’t know why I have this recent obsession with this specific Jungkook being in a dom mood, but I am loving the journey. I also want to state that I am nothing but a whore, enjoy besties and let’s be whores together 🤪🧡

Jungkook was sulking tonight. Some may even say that he was thoroughly mad at you. And he had every right to be because you messed up. You cleaned the house today while Jungkook was at Jimin's and Yoongi’s place to help with setting up their internet. And while you cleaned, you decided to clean up his art studio as well. This was something normal to do, but today it was the place of utter chaos. In your cleaning trance, you managed to knock over your bucket, which resulted in water spilling all over a tattoo draft he had been working on for days. It was ruined and beyond saving.

You confessed to Jungkook instantly once he got home. He tried to react calmly, but it was still very obvious that he was terribly mad at you.

"I worked so hard on it babe", he whined.

"Why do you have to put a freaking water bucket on my table? Of course you'd knock it over", he accused you.

"It's ruined. I did all of this for nothing", he groaned and then turned his back to you, "I'm going on a run, don’t wait with dinner."

And then you didn’t see him for two hours while you tried your hardest to fix what was irreparable.

It’s been two hours and twenty minutes since you confessed your greatest sin to Jungkook. The front door locked just this moment, which means he was back. You straighten up on the couch, waiting for him to come into the living room while your heart is racing.

He acknowledges you with a second of eye contact and a nod of his head.

"Hey baby", you say, standing up, "how was the run?"

"Good", he mumbles, swerving to the kitchen for a glass of water.

You follow him.

"I made something for you, Kookie", you tell him, "look."

Jungkook inspects the food on the stove with a stone cold expression.

"It's your favourite. I, I can warm it up for you. If you want to."

Jungkook sneaks a glance at you. He is still mad, but tries to show his gratitude.

"Thank you", he scratches the side of his neck, "I told you not to wait."

"Well, I", you shimmy from one foot to the other, "I just didn’t want you to be hungry."

He gives you a small smile.

"Thank you, that’s sweet of you."

"Yeah", you nod your head, "get comfy, I'll warm it up for you."

Jungkook is waiting in the living room, watching television when you bring him the food.

You hand it to him with burning cheeks, sitting down next to him almost nervously.

"I hope you like it."

Jungkook takes a big bite.

"It's really good. Thank you", he tells you and turns back to the television without paying you any more mind.

You know that he is still mad. On normal days he would hum and moan excitedly about how yummy your cooking is. Oh this is making you sad. You huff out air and peel yourself up from the couch.

"I'm gonna clean the kitchen now", you tell him, dragging yourself out of the living room in defeated steps.

"Mh-hm", he acknowledges you.

You are already under the covers when Jungkook decides to join you. Not that you think he really wanted to join you, but that rather he does so because you and him share a bed.

"Hey baby", you greet him, "look I warmed up the blanket for you."

Jungkook watches you shimmy to your side after having used his blanket for warmth.

"Get in there before it gets cold."

Jungkook gives in with a huff of air. He gets under his blanket.

"And?"

"It's really warm", he mumbles with a slight blush, "thank you."

"I'm glad you like it", you shimmy closer and drape your arm over his torso.

Jungkook sneaks a glance at you. You are grinning at him, basically glowing once your eyes meet.

"What?"

"Nothing, I love you."

Jungkook scoffs, "I love you too", he mumbles then reaches over to turn the lights off.

It surprises you, giving Jungkook enough time to flip to his side and therefore turn his back to you.

"Night", he grumbles, pulling the blanket over his head.

You pout, staring into the darkness where you imagine Jungkook to lie. You reach out, meeting his back. You begin scratching it, doing so gently.

"Googie, I’m sorry", you whisper.

"Mh-hm."

"Are you really still mad at me?"

Jungkook stays silent.

"Googie baby" you whine, back hugging him, "please don’t be mad anymore, I’m really sorry", you beg, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

"Should have thought about that before you destroyed my stuff", he grumbles.

"Baby", you say and sigh, "I'm really sorry. It was an accident, it really was."

"I mean", he begins, "who puts a bucket on a desk? Why would you put a bucket on a desk? It's common sense not to do that."

"I know, but I just didn’t wanna bend down all the time. I'd been cleaning for hours by then and I just wanted to make it easier for my back."

Jungkook huffs out air in defeat.

"Yeah, whatever", he murmurs.

"Kookie", you whine, squishing your cheek against his shoulder, "pwease don’t be anggy."

"Are you using your baby voice right now?"

"Ye, pwease Googie", you whine.

Jungkook scoffs and shakes you off. He flips to his back and tugs you on top of his chest.

"I'm doing this just so you’ll stop using that voice."

You grin, snuggling into him. You even drape your leg around him, lodging it between his legs, just so he can’t escape again.

"Googie, can we share a blanket?"

"No."

“Pwease Googie, I’m so cwold."

He sighs in defeat, "fine."

He opens the blanket for you, gasping a second later when he feels your feet against his calves.

"No, what the fuck? Don’t put your icicle toes on me."

You giggle, squeezing yourself closer.

"But I'm cold and you're warm."

"Babe, seriously don’t do this", he whines, fleeing your feet but to no avail.

He gives up with a huff of air.

"Are you comfortable?" he hisses.

"Yeah, you’re so cuddly."

"Well, at least one of us is", he says with iciness in his voice.

You lift your head, looking at him even though his face is hidden in darkness.

“Hey, you’re so mean”, you say with sadness in your voice, “why are you so mean? You know that it was an accident and I’m genuinely sorry."

Jungkook stays silent.

"Jungkook?"

"I don't know", he says and sighs, "it just pisses me off because I worked so hard on it and now it’s gone."

"So it’s really gone? Did you not have a doodle of it somewhere?"

"I do, but the good one is gone and it pisses me off cause it took me three days to draw."

"Maybe you can fix it again?"

"I can't ___, that’s what I was trying to do for the last freaking hour. Fixing it just made it worse."

"Oh I see", you lower your eyes, "I'm sorry", you whisper, having to sniffle.

"I know, baby", he says and hugs you closer, "I know."

"What do you need to feel better?" you mumble into his chest, "I can’t stand falling asleep when you’re still mad at me."

"I don't know, just…" he huffs out air, "just keep being cute, I guess."

"Okay so more bwaby voice?"

"No", he laughs, "seriously that voice is so weird."

"Hey, mean", you nudge his chest, "don’t lie, that voice works"

"Yeah, but ‘cause I want it to stop."

"Wow", you pout, "so mean."

He cackles, tilting your head up to kiss your forehead.

"No, it’s cute too", he says, "I just prefer your normal voice."

He snuggles closer.

"And the voice you make when I fuck you", he whispers, sending a shiver down your spine.

"Jungkook", you gasp, lifting your head.

Jungkook does his very distinct I'm trying to make you horny chuckle.

“Seriously, what are you doing here?"

"You asked me what I need to forgive you. I decided that I need you cumming for me."

You feel hot all over. Jungkook gets you so good.

"Koo, oh my god", you whisper.

“Is that something you want?” he asks.

“Yeah…” you whisper.

Jungkook is smirking. You can’t see it, but you just know that he is.

"Take your pants off, princess."

That nickname. It short circuits your brain and turns your limbs into literal jelly. It works way too good on you. He just has to say it and you are a complete goner for him.

You take your pants off quickly, gasping when Jungkook places his big hand on your ass. He forces your hips to tilt forward, pressing your pussy right against his thigh. He moves your hips for you, eliciting a weak moan from you.

"You're gonna get wet on my thigh for me", he rasps, "so I can fuck your pretty, little pussy."

"Koo", you whimper, trying to meet his movements.

"Can you do that for me? Mhm? Can you get wet for me?"

"Yes..ah", you sigh, pressing yourself closer to get more of him.

"That's good. You’re such a good girl, princess", he praises.

His thigh feels so good. Muscular and oh so toned. His skin is so soft and his hair just adds the perfect layer of sexiness to it. You love getting them all wet and dirty and being so surprised with a thigh fuck is driving you insane.

"That feels good doesn’t it princess?"

"Yes", you breathe out, twisting his shirt.

"Yes? Of course it does", he says, giving your ass a greedy squeeze, "you're so perfect for me."

"I love your thigh", you moan cutely, "Koo, I love your thigh."

"Fuck baby", he draws closer, "that’s so hot. Keep talking like this and I’ll fuck you so much better."

You whimper, having to press your eyes shut. He smells of his shower gel. It is a gentle scent and tonight it is charged with the distinct smell he gets when he's horny. Maybe you are only imagining said smell, but you thoroughly think that Jungkook smells even better when you and him are turning each other on. He smells so manly, so good, so sexy. And warm. He is so warm. It makes you press yourself closer and twist his shirt a second time.

"Koo, feels so good", you whisper squeakily.

"I know princess, I know", he sounds cocky which turns you on even more. He tenses his thigh, basking in the gasped moan you let out. He can feel you getting wet. It’s the cutest yet sexiest thing to him. Truly, it turns him on so much to feel how much his thigh affects you. To have your pussy go from soft and perfect to totally soaked and wet just does something to him. And tonight this is all he needed. He needed to feel that healthy exchange of power because he was genuinely mad and knowing that he could get you wet within minutes is giving him the kind of power surge he needed to feel better. He doesn’t like punishing you – obviously that is a given – but he is still sulky sometimes and when that happens he loves making you squirm for him. This just does something to him. You are so cute when you squirm that Jungkook just can’t stay mad at you.

"I can feel it, princess. You’re getting wet for me."

You mewl.

"You're so easy to turn on”, he laughs tauntingly, “is my thigh really that good for you, mhm?" he challenges, feeling you convulse on his thigh.

You whine, seeking his closeness by hiding your face in his side. He sounds so full of himself, so confident in what he does to you. Normally you can’t stand people like that, but when Jungkook does it, you turn into nothing but weak limbs and a wet pussy.

Jungkook chuckles, "don’t be shy, admit it. Admit that it gets you off."

"It does", you press out, feeling how your pussy gets wetter. The grind becomes a slip and Jungkook's skin feels even softer against your clit. Oh you're getting so wet for him, soiling his hair and skin with it.

"Of course it does, princess", he says, twisting his fingers in your hair. With a gentle tug he tilts your head up.

"You know what to say princess", he speaks in that deep voice he does when he is controlling the scene.

"Yeah…"

"Then say it", he orders, pressing your hips closer with a strong hand on your ass. He keeps it pressed against you, making sure that one of his fingers is disappearing between your buttocks for the sole reason of riling you up. It rests there heavy and oh so demanding, grinding against your rim each time you have to roll your hips over his thigh.

And you can barely get the words out, having to gasp before managing to form the letters.

"Thank….you…Koo", you choke out, resorting to gasping afterwards.

"That's not good enough", he growls, pressing you closer and in the process giving your rim the gentlest of pressure.

"Ah", you squeak, scratching his chest from how tightly you hold his shirt.

"Say it properly, princess. Come on", he demands, moving his thigh in a punishing manner all while his finger is threatening to slip in.

"Thank you for your thigh, Koo", you keen, letting out a soft sob afterwards.

"There we go, princess. So good", he praises and slows down again.

You mewl, twisting his shirt a fourth time. He had gotten you so close and now it’s gone again. He just edged you. Your pussy weeps in desperation, soaking his thigh so much that you can feel it run down and then soak your own skin.

"What's wrong?" he asks innocently. He is not innocent. He knows exactly what he just did.

It’s what you deserve, he thinks and smirks as he feels you get wet from denial.

“Was so close", you whisper weakly, trembling in his arms.

"Oh that, yeah I know", he taunts, "but you're gonna be a good girl for me and take it."

"Koo."

"Right, princess? You’re not gonna be bad and cum without my permission, are you?"

"No, Koo", you croak, feeling dizzy.

"Good girl, such a good girl", he praises and as a reward speeds up your hips again.

"Ah", you gasp, "ah, thank you, ah, thank you, thank you. Ah, ah."

“That’s it, make those pretty sounds for me”, he encourages you, “I love it when you do.”

“Jungkook”, you croak.

“What’s wrong now? Mhm?”

“You, you’re so h-hot.”

He laughs lazily and you just know that he lowered his eyes in that flirty, way too fatal, way. Fuck, you hate the darkness. You want to see how cocky he looks, how his face is glowing in confidence, how he mocks you with his eye contact and turns you on in the process.

“I know I am and you are dripping”, he rasps, squeezing you closer.

“Oh”, you gasp.

“Feel it”, he rasps, repeating the movement. Your hips meet his thigh harshly, his grip is so strong, “feel how you’re making a mess of my thigh.”

“Fuck, please”, you mewl, clenching around nothing.

“Please what princess?”

You sob and hide in his side. His scent engulfs you, his warmth touches your face. You chase him, chase the electricity of his thigh, losing yourself in the process.

Jungkook lets you, moving his hand further down so it is between your ass and his fingers could touch your soaked entrance. You shudder and speed your hips up desperately.

Jungkook can hear it. He can hear how wet you are. It sounds slick and sticky and oh so sinful. He obviously can feel it too. It smears all over his thigh, cooling down on the parts you don’t touch before your warm pussy grinds over it again and soaks it some more. And it makes him impatient because getting his thigh humped by you turns him on just way too much.

“Please fuck me”, you beg and Jungkook moans.

“Fuck baby, you’re gonna be the death of me”, he babbles then tilts your head up, “say it again. Beg me.”

“Please fuck me.”

“Not good enough.”

“Please Koo please, I’m so h-horny.”

“Yeah? I’m horny too and I can control myself. Why should I give it to you?”

You soak his thigh in new arousal, clenching around nothing so harshly he can feel how you throb. Fuck, your clit is so swollen and hot. He knows he could get you over the edge. He would just have to put his fingers between your ass again and lift his thigh and he could make you cum. But he doesn’t. He lets you chase him with that small pressure, he lets you shake and squirm in your attempt to get more of his thick thigh under your needy pussy. He edges you because he wants to.

“Please Koo”, you mewl and sob cutely, “I, I just wanna be your cockslut.”

“Fuck”, he presses out. He feels your words everywhere. His stomach is tingling, the tips of his fingers are itching to bury themselves between your legs again, his cock is throbbing in his briefs.

“Please, I’ll be so good and, and take you so w-well”, you try and Jungkook just knows that you are giving him the biggest puppy eyes right now.

This is his breaking point. He can’t take it anymore. All he wants to take is you. Hard and good.

“Then get my cock out will you?” he growls.

Your hips falter now that you have to work. Your nimble fingers hook themselves in his briefs, tugging them over his round butt with the help of him lifting his hips. He feels the bed dent as you sit up so you can pull the piece of clothing down his legs.

Thump.

The fabric landed somewhere on the floor. Then hands on his inner thighs. Warm and desperate for the feeling of his skin. The distinct warmth of your body, it comes closer to his crotch.

Warmth. Wet and soft. Right around his cock. Sinking down slowly.

“Fucking hell baby”, he groans, throwing his head back, “fuck yeah. Ah fuck.”

You mewl and bop your head up and down his length. He tastes so good. He feels so heavy on your tongue, fills out your throat so much, stuffs your mouth so well.

You know that sucking your husband’s cock is not exactly the definition of aching for his cock in your pussy, but something overcame you. Something primal and something which ached so incredibly much that you could only still it with his arousal running down your throat and with his pubes tickling the tip of your nose.

Jungkook groans deeply, twisting his fingers in your hair.

You go further down.

Jungkook rips his mouth open and moans loudly. Now here he is, with your fingers massaging his tight balls and his entire cock down your throat. It’s not often you go so far, but it seems that tonight you are so horny and desperate for him that getting your throat plugged up by his cock is all you needed.

And Jungkook is in heaven, throbbing in your mouth before letting out a drugged-up laugh.

“Fuck princess”, he croaks and laughs, “holy fuck. Yes! Oh god yes!” his laughter turns into loud moans.

You just mewled around his cock, now fucking your own face while letting out the sweetest of gags. Your drool is all over him, spilling out of your perfect mouth and running down his shaft before slathering all over your fingers and his balls. You use it to massage them, slurping not because you want it gone but because you know that it feels incredible for Jungkook.

“Fuck baby, fucking fuck. Holy fuck”, he curses, arching his back, "keep going, don’t stop."

You won’t stop. Jungkook tastes so, so good. You never ever want to stop. You pay special attention to his tip, sucking it between your lips with such vigour your cheeks fall in. Then you begin moving, keeping up sucking him as his cock glides between your lips.

Jungkook groans, “you gon’ make me cum”, he presses out, having fallen back to his native dialect.

You moan, sinking down on him until you feel your throat bulge most perfectly. You want him to shoot his load down your throat. This is the least you can do for him after ruining so much of his hard work. He deserves to cum down your throat like he wants to. Hard and fucking good.

“Fuck!” he barks and shakes.

You squeak as he tugs you off of him, feeling disorientated for a second. The lights turn on, adding to the overall confusion you are feeling. Then you get shaken around and pinned down on the mattress.

Jungkook is above you, holding you captive by your wrists while the weight of his body does the rest. His black hair is messy, hanging into his face. Fuck, it’s gotten so long again. He looks so hot like this.

“You’re such a-“, he stops talking, studying your face with blown-out pupils and madness in his gaze, “-fuck baby”, he growls, squeezing your wrists.

“Please fuck me”, you beg, squirming under his weight. It’s driving you insane just how close his cock is to your pussy and yet it is not close enough that you could make him slip inside.

“You’re such a needy woman”, he spits, furrowing his brows, “you think you can just deepthroat my cock like that and get me to cum?”

“Please fuck me”, you try again, whining slightly.

"Did you even hear what I just told you?"

"Fuck me."

Jungkook stays silent, letting his fiery eyes race over your face and chest.

“Take off your shirt. Now.”

He lets go of your wrists and lets you sit up, using the second you need to undress to undress himself. He keeps himself upright on his knees, towering over you with his cock hard against his toned stomach and his tattooed arms on full display. His pierced nipples are hard, his toned chest heaves up and down quickly.

And you feel tiny. You feel so tiny and fragile, knowing that someone as strong and manly as Jungkook will fuck you stupid. You make yourself smaller on purpose, giving him the neediest puppy eyes ever. This is how you want to feel tonight. You want to feel fragile and as if your strong husband could break you.

“Turn around”, he orders confidently and you follow happily.

He grips your hips and pulls you on all fours. Then he fixes your position, doing so with the right amount of strength so that it would turn you on.

“That’s better.” Jungkook presses you down into the mattress. "Stay like this."

You shiver, shaking when a second later you feel his mouth on you. He slurps and groans, swirling his tongue over your pussy while his hands are holding your hips still.

"Oh my god", you moan, "holy fuck, Koo."

“So fucking wet for me”, he growls into your pussy, “you’re making a mess of my face”, he says and laughs cockily, “such a messy girl for me.”

You bury your face in the sheets and let out a desperate sob. He licks you so messily, so sloppily, slurps you up as if you were his favourite flavor. You can’t handle it. First he fucks you with nothing but his thigh, then he gets you literally soaked by stuffing your mouth with his cock and now he is eating your pussy as if it was his last meal.

You wheeze, twisting the sheets between your fingers. You want to flee, but Jungkook presses you back on his tongue. You want to squirm, but Jungkook keeps an iron grip on your hips. You want to cum, but Jungkook pulls back at the right moment.

You mewl his name, dripping your desperation on his chin.

And Jungkook moans, trailing his licks away from your pussy until he has your sensitive rim under his wet tongue.

You tense up and squeak. A second later you release all of that tension in a shudder of your limbs, bucking your hips into his face.

Jungkook moves back and breaks away, basking in your whines for more. And he gives it to you gladly, parting your ass with his tattooed hands and using his entire head to grind his tongue over your hole.

You can count his fingers on your ass. All ten of them, each sitting on your body with the demand for attention. Oh just imagining how they must look as they dig into your flesh, how the tattoos on them must look now that his veins and tendons are bulging in exhaustion and how the tips of his fingers must definitely gain a slightly lighter colour to them.

This and with the added sensation of Jungkook's tongue fucking your greedy hole and you swear this moment you cry the hottest tears you have ever cried.

He is going to make you cum. He may not be touching your clit, but she feels the same spark she does when he touches you. It is your brain doing it for you. All those thoughts about how Jungkook looks as he gives you the rimjob of your lifetime are enough to make you clench in your approaching high.

You make one mistake however, you buck your hips back and clench under his tongue while your thighs are shaking. And Jungkook knows. Oh he knows and he uses the opportunity to pull away and leave you aching for more.

“Nooo”, you whine into the mattress, chasing him desperately.

"You're so delicious, baby", he says cockily, licking his lips.

"More please. Please more. Please.”

"Oh, I’m sorry. Did I edge you again?"

"Yeees", you whine, hitting the mattress with your feet.

"Cute", Jungkook taunts, connecting his thumb with your rim to rub it skillfully. He loves how you shiver in reaction.

"Thank you…oooh…"

"That's it, stick your ass out just like that."

"Ah Koo, oh god Koo. Ah…"

While his thumb is pleasuring you oh so perfectly, his left hand aligns his cock with your pussy. You barely even notice that he does, being far too gone in the feeling of his fingers. You really want them inside. You want them to fill you up and remind you that only he can get your ass to feel that stuffed. He pushes and slips in, surprising you so much that you actually squeak loudly, kicking the mattress weakly. Now you notice. Now you do. Oh god, now you do. Jungkook is feeding you his cock. Inch by inch he is shaping your pussy until you fit perfectly around him.

"Slipped right in", he bottoms out, "you're so wet, princess. I didn’t even have to take it slow."

You wheeze for air, tensing around his cock. He's inside. You've finally got his cock. He's back where he should always be. You have to moan, fucking yourself back on him in a needy roll of your hips.

"Yeah I know", he agrees and begins moving, "that’s fucking incredible."

Sparks course through your entire body. Getting Jungkook's cock after being edged ruthlessly feels like paradise. He is right. He did slip right in, giving you that good stretch. And that thought makes you even wetter. To know that you are dripping so much for your husband that he can fill you right up with his veiny cock. Oh it is a different type of turn on.

"How's that, princess?" he rasps, caressing your hip while his thumb begins circling your rim again.

"Thank you", you keen, arching your back.

"For what? Tell me."

"For your cock."

"Yeah? You love that cock?"

"Love it!" you squeak now that Jungkook is angling his cock in a way that would get him deeper, "love it so much", you groaned the last word, tensing around his veiny shaft.

"Fuck", he moans, "love that pussy too. It’s so wet, creaming my cock so good."

He places his left hand on your upper back and pushes. It forces you into the mattress and for your back to arch. Now he does it. Now he fucks you oh so deep. Jungkook loves how you feel around him when he is deep inside of you.

"So deep", you mewl, pulling the cutest face of pleasure.

Jungkook loves it. Your cheek is all squished, your lips are all pouty, your nose is scrunched up. He loves getting you there. To have you pull those pretty faces for him as he pounds you, gets him off so fucking good.

"Yeah I am. Just how you deserve it. Deep and hard", he growls the last word, slamming his hips into you while his thumb is putting pressure on your rim.

"Ah!" you yelp, shaking at the intensity.

"Deep and hard. Feel it", he growls, "in and out. In and out. Just how you deserve."

"Please don’t stop, please", you beg him, clenching around him in desperation.

Jungkook smirks. He feels electric and like the most amazing fucking man on this world. Yes, he is going there. He is going to be cocky for a moment because he wants to.

“Do you love it, princess?” he rasps.

“Yeees”, you mewl, nodding your head vigorously.

“Then say it.”

“Love it! Love how you fuck me”, you wheeze for air, “oh god, Jungkook please seriously don’t stop.”

Jungkook laughs lazily, tilting his head back in a way that would reveal his neck most deliciously. His dark hair is tangling over his eyes, tickling his neck in the position.

“Fuck”, he moans and laughs again, moving his hips like the sexgod he feels like right now. And you reward him with desperate rolls of your hips and a soaked pussy clenching right around his cock.

“Fuck baby, fuck”, he groans, letting his eyes roll back before falling closed, “never wanna stop fucking you.”

“Please stuff me!” you beg, chasing his thumb on your ass, which seems to slip away more and more now that he was busy feeding your pussy.

He falters in that task, letting his head bounce to the front just to stare at you in shocked arousal.

“You want me to do what?” he pants, slowing down his hips. Not because he wants to make it easier for you. No, he is just way too fucking close to blowing his load. You are seriously so hot.

“My ass, please spit on it and use it to fuck me stupid.”

“Okay seriously”, he lets out a breathy laugh, “you are fucking crazy.”

“Jungkook pleaseeee”, you mewl loudly, squirming impatiently, “please for fuck’s sake.”

He stops. He stops just so he can lean forward and press his lips against your ear. It forces you to crane your neck as best as possible for a look at his face.

“I married the most amazing woman”, he rasps, “you drive me fucking insane, sweetheart.”

He listens to you moan and straightens up, gathering his spit so he can give you what you so desperately crave. With his strong, tattooed hands he parts your buttocks, revealing your oh so greedy hole to his equally as greedy eyes.

You aren’t even breathing by now, waiting for the feeling of his wet, hot saliva on your rim. You need it so fucking bad.

Jungkook puckers his lips, letting his spit drip on your hole slowly. The view drives him crazy. To have your pretty hole clench needily while just underneath he can watch his thick cock stretch your pussy. Jungkook loves few views more than this one.

"Yes oh god yes", you groan, feeling a shudder run through your limbs. It is just as hot and wet and good as you imagined it to be. You can feel it. Feel it land on your rim before very slowly running down your ass on its way to your pussy.

Jungkook stops it before that can happen, gathering it with his thumb. His hips begin moving again. Slow and steady. Then he reaches your rim, speeding up your heartbeat tenfold.

"Ready?" he asks, massaging your hole.

"So ready, I’m so ready", you pant, waiting with a dizzy head.

He pushes, watching in delight as you open up for him happily. He groans, you moan.

"Fuck baby, slipped right in. Again. You’re such a needy woman tonight", he taunts cockily, pumping his thumb in and out slowly. The squeeze you have around him almost steals his sanity.

You have already lost your sanity. Jungkook is filling you up. He is giving your holes exactly what they need. Him. A part of him. This is what you need. Him.

"Faster please", you beg, reaching between your legs to rub your clit.

"Yes baby, yes do that. It’s so hot when you touch your clit", he moans, speeding his hips up just as you crave it.

"Ah Koo! Oh god, Koo", you mewl, chasing him greedily, "yes Koo, yes Koo. Oh my Koo, yes. Yes!"

"You're so fucking hot. You’re seriously so fucking hot", he growls, fighting his urges to close his eyes. He wants to because the feelings you give him right now are best enjoyed with closed eyes. But he also doesn't want to because you are giving him the sexiest views ever. Wet, stretched out pussy moving around his cock and covering it in your white cream. Pretty, oh so terribly tight hole hugging his thumb and looking so greedy for more each time he pulls his finger out. Your back is arched so perfectly too and your face is glowing in bliss. Jungkook would be a madman to miss out on such views.

You shudder then, giving his cock a good squeeze. Your right foot kicks the mattress.

"Oh god Koo", your eyes open but go out of focus, "that’s, that’s, ah that’s the s-spot."

"Yeah? Right there?" Jungkook repeats what he did before, fucking his cock right against your g-spot. And again. Again. And again. Until he has you clenching around him.

"There. Yes-", your voice breaks in a desperate moan, "Koo I'm close."

"Yeah? You’re close? Wanna cum?"

"Yes please."

"Then do it. Go on, cum so fucking good", he orders, putting his entire energy into getting you there.

Your voice pitches. Your veins tingle. Oh you feel electric. You can barely breathe and your head is close to bursting. You tense, twisting the sheets with your unoccupied hand.

"N-now."

"Let go princess."

"Ah Koo!" you feel it everywhere. It swallows you whole within seconds, consuming you with such grandiosity you lose your sight for just a moment. It returns in bright sparks and colourful patterns behind your squeezed shut eyelids.

"Yes baby, fuck you’re so hot. I'm so close, I’m so fucking close baby", Jungkook growls, drilling your holes with vigorous desperation to give you to best high in human history.

He does. Like he always manages to do. This once again feels like the best high in human history. You convulse one last time, dropping your hand from your clit afterwards.

"Holy fuck", you press out and gasp, "w-wait tight."

Jungkook slows down, "hurts?"

"A little."

"Sorry", he stops, "can I cum on your asshole?"

You laugh tiredly, "sure, baby."

"Fuck baby", he pulls out quickly and begins jerking himself off vigorously. His eyes are hyper focused on your ass. It looks so empty now that his thumb is gone, "I'm so close princess, I’m so fucking close."

"Please cover me in your cum", you beg, clenching and relaxing your hole just to rile him up.

It works. Jungkook cums with a guttural growl, almost falling if his hand hadn’t grabbed your hip for support. He fucks the air as he cum, covering your entire ass with his hot, creamy cum.

"Fu-uck", he stutters, convulsing one last time. He stops, feeling dizzy but chasing your body by pressing his overstimulated cock against your ass to drag it through his cum.

"Koo", you moan, chasing him greedily.

"I made such a mess of you", he lulls his words, sounding just perfectly out of breath, "you look so sexy like this."

"Do you like it?" you say sweetly, wiggling your hips in a sexy manner.

"Mh-hm yeah, I love it", he rasps, grabbing your buttocks just to massage them. He lets out a deep breath, dropping his head.

"Fuck ___, thank you for that. I really needed that", he says.

"Me too. This was so amazing", you say, making him smile.

He leans down to kiss your spine just once, "I'll clean you up now. So stay."

He drops into the sheets next to you afterwards, opening his arms for you to find comfort in once you returned from your post sex pee. You do so happily, pulling his blanket over your bodies as well. Your legs are tangled in a way that you would have his thigh between your own and parts of his hip against your inner thigh. You are halfway on his chest, finding your head’s resting spot where his arm meets his shoulder.

"Was I too rough?" he asks, caressing your face.

"No, you were perfect", you tell him, gazing up at him with a smile.

Jungkook retorts it, tracing the slope of your nose.

"I love you like crazy, you know?" he says.

"I love you too. Crazily much", you answer him.

He kisses your forehead, keeping close afterwards.

“This was seriously the best make-up sex ever”, he whispers.

“Agreed. Maybe I’ll have to ruin more of your drawings”, you joke.

“I’ll divorce you if you do that”, he jokes, making you giggle. He chuckles, smooching your forehead a second time, "let's fall asleep like this", he suggests.

"Okay", you sigh, snuggling closer, "Koo can I wake you with a blowjob tomorrow?"

He chuckles lazily, "you're insatiable", he says and kisses your forehead a third time, "sure. Only if I can eat your pussy afterwards."

"Yes", you say and giggle. You’re so lucky to have him.

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