#the shit people say when they think they can convince you to join their men's club where they shit on women i swear

[samaspic31]

Nothing makes me angrier than people trying to validate trans people’s gender through sexism. That’s not fucking helping anyone im not here to validate your misogyny and i do not agree with your gender stereotypes i don’t care that you accept gender conforming trans people in it

#sam speaks #discussion of misogyny #what do you mean i look too manly to be a woman anyways someone could look like me and be a woman looks have zero to do with gender identit #transphobia #the shit people say when they think they can convince you to join their men's club where they shit on women i swear #miss me with that #also another can of worms when the only way cis ppl know to compliment a trans girl is by congratulating her for being good at #conforming to gender stereotypes. they shouldn't have to asshole #exorsexism #cisnormativity #cis nonsense #good tag to exist #sometimes happens between trans ppl- tho very rare in my experience and due to the same lack of self reflection.and receiving social #punishment for years for being gender non conforming

[atinylittlepain]

i need joel x f! reader friends to lovers 😩🫶🏻

i took this and ran with it

Birds of a Feather

joel miller x f!reader

joel masterlist

joel has met his match, and though he's trying to keep things platonic, his brother has other plans for him.

warnings | 18+ smut, drunk tommy miller requires his own warning, angst, and a little fluff

wordcount: 4.1K

................................

Joel Miller has finally met his match, and he knows it. He had balked at it initially, when Tommy assigned him to patrol with some woman. But it wasn’t just some woman. Folks around town call her Sunshine, a running joke since she’s anything but. He didn’t know anyone could be more standoffish than him, but that first shift together, the steel in her stare and the tick of her jaw had thrown any of his ideas about her right out the window. Is it any wonder they became friends so fast?

He doesn’t like to talk much, she doesn’t either.

He has a dry sense of humor, but hers has to be even drier. 

She refuses to suffer fools, and he enjoys watching her put men in their place.

He’s slow to thaw toward people, and so is she, both of them melting in each other’s presence.

Where he’s from Texas, she’s from Tennessee, the remnants of their drawls twining up in easy conversation.

He likes a stiff glass of whiskey at the end of the day, and she’s always game to join him.

But maybe one of the things he likes best is that while he’s good at pool, she’s fucking great at it, and he doesn’t mind getting his ass handed to him on Friday nights at the bar, not when it’s her doing the handing.

“Are you asleep, Miller? Or are you really just that bad at pool?” Her grin flickers under the dim lights of the Tipsy Bison, and he knows that it’s a sight not many people get to see. She cocks her head to the side, spinning her cue stick lightly in her hand as she smirks at him.

“Easy, darlin, gonna make you eat those words one of these days.” She’s not Sunshine, not to him, he refuses to call her what everybody else does. She had confessed to him once, on a long patrol shift, that she hated the nickname, but was too proud to ever say anything about it. In turn, Joel had told her about how growing up, Tommy managed to get everyone at their highschool to start calling him “Skip,” something he hadn’t told anyone in close to thirty years. His residual embarrassment had been worth it to see her smile in that moment, and it was about then that Joel realized he had made a certified friend. Though everyone else seems convinced that something a little more is going on.

“Shit.” He completely scratches his next turn, sending the cue ball right into one of the pockets as she snickers.

“What was that about me eating my words?” He’s distracted, just a little, but who could blame him when she’s wearing a pair of cut-offs that should be illegal and a tank top that turns downright obscene when she leans over the table for her own turn. So maybe there is something a little more going on, but it’s one sided, he reckons, and he’s not about to fuck up the first friendship he’s cared about in years just because he’s thinking with his dick. But, apparently, that’s not the only thing he has to worry about.

“Well, howdy, if it ain’t Jackson’s favorite tag team, frick and frack.” Joel hasn’t seen Tommy this drunk in decades. The town council had been celebrating that night, though he’s not quite sure what. Regardless, Tommy is sloshed as he loops and arm over Joel’s shoulders, a lazy grin on his face as he looks between him and her.

“Joel, Sunshine. How are we this fine evening?” While she snorts at his slurred-out question, Joel is less than amused, shrugging his brother off of him with a huff.

“Touchy, touchy, big brother. What’s got your panties in a twist? Did you break his heart already, Sunshine?” Joel can feel his face blanch at Tommy’s drawling words, glancing between him and her. While she’s still smiling, the crease between her brows suggests she’s as thrown off as Joel is.

“What’re you on about, little Miller?” Tommy lets out a hoot of a laugh at her question, leaning up against the pool table and grinning at her.

“What I’m on about is the sweet little crush this big guy right here has on you. It ain’t healthy, really, Joel’s got it bad for you.” If they weren’t related by blood, Tommy wouldn’t have teeth in his head by now, but instead, Joel settles for letting his jaw all but drop to the floor as he looks between his giggling brother and her. She doesn’t look so amused anymore.

“It’s true! Ain’t seen his eyes get like that in a long time, those big ol’ puppy dogs of his are for you and you only, Sunshine.” Before the horror of it all can really settle in, Tommy sighs, slapping Joel on his shoulder and shuffling off with a low murmured “where’s Maria?”

Her eyes are wide when he finally looks at her, lips parted, complete bewilderment splashed across her face. And before she can say anything, Joel is turning heel and booking it out of there before everything comes crumbling down around him.

…

She’s stunned. By the whole thing really. Tommy’s ridiculous musings, the way that Joel didn’t deny any of it, and then the way he booked it out of the bar like he wanted nothing to do with her. She wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that her night was going to turn out like this. Not that she would tell anyone, but she loves Friday nights, pool nights, when she gets to spend just a little more time with Joel than usual. So for it to turn so sour so fast, she finds herself at a loss, clutching her cue stick in her hands, stuck standing where Joel left her.

There’s no two ways about it, she likes him. Things feel easy around him. She hadn’t met anyone else in town who she could talk to like she can him. He gets it, being on the road, not always having a warm place to sleep, what it means to kill. They’ve both seen a far different life than the one they’re living now, and talking to him makes her feel a little less crazy. And yes, maybe she also likes the strong cut of his jaw, the way his deep brown eyes crinkle up when she talks to him, the broad span of his shoulders, and how he squares them up when she challenges him. You could call it a crush, but she’d call it stupid, something that would only ruin the friendship, the one big good in her life, that she has with him. 

But now all bets are off. She’s got nothing to lose, and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t get the truth from him.

She knows him well enough by now to have a pretty good idea of where he stomped off to, and she doesn’t waste any more time standing around with a dumb look on her face, heading out of the bar and into the hazy light of the summer evening.

There’s a bench tucked away behind the stables, partially hidden by a small thicket of trees. A while ago, they had set it as their meeting place before patrol shifts, always getting there a few minutes early to set a plan for the day, or just to talk quietly before they had to head out. She had caught him there a few times on their days off too, an easy slump in his posture, his arms stretched out over the back of the bench. He told her he liked the quiet of it, and when she attempted to apologize for intruding, he had said that she couldn’t bother him if she even tried. It’s where she finds him now, his elbows on his thighs and his head in his hands, though his eyes jerk up when she clears her throat.

“We gonna talk about what just happened?” He lets out a long sigh, sitting back on the bench and squinting up at her.

“I’d rather not.”

“Oh, c’mon, Joel. You know I’m not gonna let this go, not until you talk to me.” With that, he gets up from the bench with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Don’t have anything to say, except I’m sorry that my brother is such a fucking idiot.” She calls after him as he trudges away, but it’s no use, he doesn’t so much as look back over his shoulder at her. Knowing him as well as she does, she can easily tell when it’s time to stop prodding, when he’s shutting down and she won’t be able to get anything out of him, so she drops it, at least for now. 

She knows that they’re going to have to face whatever this is eventually, most likely the next morning when they’re set for a patrol shift together. With the hope of a clearer conversation on the horizon, she goes home, her mind still spinning from the strange evening. She lays awake in bed with her thoughts, the only conclusion she reaches being that she just wants the truth now, knowing that there will be no going back to the way things were, regardless of what he has to say.

When she gets to the bench the next morning, eyes bleary from a night without sleep, it becomes clear that Joel is going to make this more difficult than it has to be, as he is nowhere to be found. And he doesn’t show up either, not even when it’s time for their shift and she’s mounting up at the stables. She lets out a bitter laugh, though, when she sees who does show up.

“Did he send you down here?” Tommy huffs, leaning up against the door to the stables with a sheepish grin.

“Would you be less pissed at him if I said he didn’t?” 

“What? He ask for a new patrol partner already?” She knows it sounds harsh, but she doesn’t care, anger starting to feel like the appropriate response for how childish Joel seems to be acting. Tommy just sighs.

“Look, Sunshine, I feel awful for what I said last night. I was so fucking drunk I didn’t know up from down. But it’s true what I said. Reckon he thinks you hung the moon in the sky or some shit.” That makes her pause, but she stifles the kick of her heart with another scoff.

“What’s your point, Tommy? I have a shift to cover.” 

“No you don’t.” 

“Huh?” Tommy lets out a breathy laugh at her furrowed look.

“I’m covering your shift– figure I owe you both for messing shit up so bad. I got a buddy of mine coming down in a few to patrol with me, but you’re off the hook. And I think you oughta go talk to him.” 

“Joel made it pretty clear last night that he didn’t have anything else to say.” Tommy’s frown deepens at her clipped words, and he takes a few steps into the stables, leveling a surprisingly serious look at her.

“My brother is a stubborn ass, I won’t deny that. He doesn’t really like people, or feelings for that matter. But I know him well enough to see that he’s different around you. And maybe it’s selfish of me to say this, but you’re good for him, and I’ll be damned if the only reason you two don’t wind up together is my big fucking mouth.” His words stun her silent long enough for him to step forward and place a hand on her shoulder.

“Just go talk to him, please? If anyone can get through to him it’s you.”

…

He has to admit to himself that he was hoping, just a little bit, that it’d be her knocking on his front door, his chest tightening when he sees that it is. Though she doesn’t seem all too pleased to be looking at him, her arms crossed over her chest and an edgy arch to her brow.

“We gonna talk like adults now? Or are you gonna keep sending little Miller to do your bidding?” He knows this tone of voice. It’s the way she speaks to people, usually men, that she’d rather not give the time of day to. He’s always been amused by it, the stiff jerk of her chin, the eerie calm of her words. But it’s never been directed at him before, and suddenly there’s nothing amusing about it. 

“I– yeah, yes. Let’s talk.” Real smooth, dumbass. She doesn’t wait for him to open the door any wider, brushing right past him and into his living room before turning on her heel to look at him.

“Well, there’s no real way around this, is there?” Her question hangs between them, a drooping thread threatening to snap, though even now, they still move comfortably around each other, sitting down on opposite ends of the couch and mirroring each other’s posture, elbows on thighs, heads tilted toward the other. 

“Where do you wanna start, darlin?” She huffs out a laugh, more like an exasperated sigh as she looks at him, the steel gone, only a quirked worry left in its place.

“The truth– I want you to tell me the truth, Joel– about what Tommy said last night.” He figures he’s got nothing to lose at this point. That either way, whether he’s straight with her or not, their friendship isn’t ever going to be the same, so he takes a deep breath, and lets the words come rushing out. 

“He wasn’t wrong– I mean, what he said? It’s true, I feel– I, uh– I like the way I feel? When I’m around you? And, um– Jesus christ, what I’m trying to say is– I feel very– fondly toward you.” He’d like to disappear now, to dissolve and slip down beneath the floorboards so she’ll stop smiling at him like he just made a complete fool of himself, because he did. 

“You feel fondly toward me, huh?” And now she’s making fun of him, a light laugh on her lips as he grumbles at her question. But she’s quick to catch his despairing spiral, scooting over and placing a hand on his knee. 

“I’m sorry, Joel. I don’t mean to tease. But for the record, the feeling’s mutual.” Oh. He can feel his eyebrows shoot up at her words, and her grin broadens at his reaction.

“You mean– you– what’s that word? You mean platoni–” She’s kissing him. She’s kissing him and his brain is going blank but he doesn’t need to think, not really, moving like he knows, like he’s been waiting for this. She’s as stubborn as he is, and it shows in the way they struggle against each other, pulling on clothes to get closer, teeth clashing just a bit as she slips into his lap, pushing him back against the couch as he drags her as close as he can. When she does pull away, he doesn’t let her go far, his hand holding her steady by the hilt of her neck, breathless and smiling.

“No, I don’t mean platonically. Not at all.” And then she’s kissing him again, and it’s quickly becoming his favorite feeling, though the way her hips are pressed up against his is a close second. Joel is starting to realize that they share a few other things in common as well.

They both have a hard time keeping quiet, his low groans mixing and mingling with the pitchy sighs she looses in between kisses.

And they both seem to want to get impossibly closer, his nose mashing up against the slope of her cheek as she winds her arms over his shoulder blades, holding him chest to chest.

Where he tries to get the upper hand, licking into her mouth, squeezing at the swell of her thighs, she just does the same, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck to hold him just how she wants him as she ducks down to mouth at the arc of his neck.

Where he demands more, she’s happy to give, and to take in turn.

How they make it up the stairs and into his bedroom is beyond him, greedy hands peeling away clothes on the way up, leaving a trail of desire that they’ll have to trace later. 

She’s strong, just as strong as him, and she likes control, just as much as him, handily flipping them around on the bed so that she’s straddling him once again, leaving him wide-eyed and breathless at the sight of her. He’s got scars, and she does too, their hands running over the silvery marks, prayers that there won’t have to be anymore. Her bare cunt is a hot drag over his pelvis, and he’d like more than anything for her to shift her hips just a little lower, a little closer. But instead she ducks her head down, eyes flickering up to his as she lays a smear of kisses over his chest that begin to trail lower until she’s kneeling between his spread thighs. Joel thinks he just might die as he watches her spit into her hand before wrapping her palm around his throbbing cock, a hiss spilling between his teeth as she deftly sweeps her wrist up, her thumb swiping over his slit to smear the pooling pre-come there down his length.

“S’pretty, Joel. Prettier than I imagined.” He can’t help but groan at her words, scrunching his eyes shut and pressing his head back into the sheets.

“You– fuck– you thought about this, darlin? About me?” She smiles at his question, her lips just grazing the underside of him.

“Mmhmm, thought about you a lot. About this. We’re so alike, you and I. I couldn’t help but think that if anyone would be able to handle me, it’d be you.” And with that, she licks a salacious stripe up his length before taking him into the heat of her mouth.

“Christ– I  can– can handle you, darlin. Handle you however you want me to– fuck, that mouth of yours is a dream.” She hums at his praise, the vibration shooting straight down his cock as she bobs her head. It’s messy as hell, the slick sound of spit, her palm pressed flat against his stomach to hold him still, the drag of her tongue along his length, and the way her eyes stay on him, hooded and hazy under her lashes. 

“Thought about you too, y’know, like-like this.” His words make her stop for a moment, pulling off of him with a sigh, her hand picking up where she left off.

“And? Am I living up to your expectations?” Her words are lilted by her grin, and the sight of her lazily stroking his cock, her head tilted as she looks at him is nearly too obscene to be real.

“S’better– you’re so much better– fucking perfect.” It’s like he realizes all of a sudden how bad he wants to touch her, and then it’s all he wants, all he needs, coaxing her back up to meet in a kiss before rolling them over, swallowing the peel of laughter she lets out as he hovers over her. 

He wants to be the only one who gets her like this, the only one to hear her sighs, soft and melty in his sheets, sweet only for him as he swipes his fingers through her folds, dragging her pooling slick up to draw circles over her clit.

“So wet for me, darlin. S’just for me, huh?” Her chin jerks in a nod, whatever control she had now held in his hands, her hips canting up into his palm. 

“Just for you, Joel. All for you– please.” She doesn’t have to say anymore, he knows what she wants because it’s what he wants too. More. He presses two fingers inside of her, unable to stifle the groan he lets out at the feel of her cunt clenching around him, muffling the sound with a drag of kisses across her chest. She keens up into his touch, back arching when he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, tongue laving over the peak before letting his teeth just barely graze the delicate skin. And he learns her, all of her, the dips and swells of her body, the spot he can press against inside her that makes her brow crumple, the scrape of her nails down his back, the little whimpers she tries to silence, biting down on her lip, the way she tightens around his fingers when she’s close, and the broken sound of his name on her lips when she finally unravels for him, panting and twisting in pleasure. 

“That’s it, darlin. Feels good, huh? I did good for you?” Maybe it’s a little selfish, what he asks, but she’s happy to answer anyways.

“So good– did so good for me, Joel. Fuck, I really want you, baby.” He can feel the heat flushing up his face at her words, his mind going dizzy with the praise, and all he can do is give her what she wants, slotting his hips against hers and notching his leaking tip at her entrance. 

It’s unreal, it’s gotta be, the way she spreads open around him, close and pliant, her knee hitched up along his waist as he presses into her, both of them sighing at the stretch. For a moment, they’re still, just feeling each other, pressed so close, sweat-damp skin sticking from the contact, choppy exhales cooling down their shared heat. And then, Joel learns that they have something else in common. They both like their pleasure with just a tinge of pain.

It starts slow, the rock of his hips into hers, but she makes it clear with the press of her heel into his low back and her hand tugging in his hair that slow is the last thing she wants, and Joel is more than happy to oblige. The thump of the headboard against the wall, the slap of skin, harsh grunts and crackling moans twine around them, wrapping them up in a desperate symphony with each harsh grind of his hips against hers. 

He wants to leave marks, wants her to remember this when she runs her hands over the bruises he leaves, a purple and blue mosaic of where he touched her, where he wanted her most. And she seems intent on the same goal, nails scratching down his shuddering back, pulling him closer so she can mouth at his neck, her teeth nipping just a touch unkindly, making his eyes roll back from the sharp suggestion of pain. 

“Fuck, darlin– made just for me, huh? So good like this– wanna feel you like this– want you to gimme another one. Be so good for me, honey, c’mon.” 

…

All she wants is him. The hot drag of his cock inside her, his hips mashing up against hers, the heavy grip of his hand cupping her ass, pulling her hips up to meet his. His scruff, scraping against her chest, lips a smudge against her skin, each grunt a vibration that runs through her bones. The way he keeps her head from hitting the headboard with his forearm protectively curled there, holding himself up just enough to move his hips against hers, to look at her when she comes for a second time, spasming around him.

She feels like liquid beneath him, undone by pleasure, only vaguely aware of the breathy chant of please, please leaving her lips with each exhale. But he knows what she’s asking for, and Joel gives it to her, pulling out with a groan, his spend smearing across her heaving stomach as he pants over her. He flops down onto his stomach next to her with a sigh, one arm slung heavy over her waist, turned on his cheek to look at her. 

“Get you cleaned up in a minute– just need to not move right now– shit.” She has to laugh at his breathless exclamation, catching the crook of his grin out of the corner of her eye before turning onto her side to get a better look at him. Hair wild, sticking up all which ways, and cheeks flushed under his altogether boyish smile, she can’t help but lean in for a kiss that he gives up willingly to her. 

“Remind me again why we waited so long to do that?” That makes him laugh, squeezing her hip to pull her closer as he turns onto his side

“Because I was an idiot.” She hums at his answer, brushing his hair back out of his face before letting her palm settle along his scruff.

“It takes two, we were both idiots.” 

“Some pair we make, huh, darlin?” 

Some pair indeed.

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #tlou #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller angst #the last of us #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut #joel miller one shot

[tgcg]

part 2 of something specific

CG: I’M GOING TO NEED TO WATCH THROUGH IT AGAIN TO REALLY HONE DOWN WHAT I THINK OF IT, BUT FUCK IT, I MIGHT AS WELL SHARE MY THOUGHTS NOW SINCE WE’RE FRESH OFF OF WATCHING IT.

CG: SO, THEY’RE ACTUALLY A REALLY FASCINATING EXAMPLE OF RED ROMANCE. I’D GO SO FAR AS TO SAY VERY SUBVERSIVE OF ALTERNIAN UNDERSTANDINGS OF THE SORT, COMPARED TO WHAT YOU’D USUALLY SEE IN FICTIONAL MEDIA. IT’S LEVELS ABOVE THE TYPE OF DYNAMICS I WOULD TYPICALLY SEE IN MY NOVELS, DISREGARDING THE QUALITY OF VACILLATIONS AND YOUR QUOTE-ENQUOTE “POLYAMORY” PRESENT. BECAUSE SAKURA’S POSITION IN THIS IS PRACTICALLY POINTLESS, BUT I DIGRESS.

CG: ACTUALLY — THAT WAS KIND OF FUCKED UP, BY THE WAY. WHY IS SHE WRITTEN SO POORLY?

TG: remember when i told you about misogyny

CG: I WILL NEVER FUCKING GET THAT. OUR MOST POWERFUL FIGURES WERE GENERALLY GIRLS. HOW THAT TRANSLATED SO FUCKING TERRIBLY IS BEYOND ME!

CG: AND HOW THE SHIT DID THE UNIVERSE *I* HAD A DIRECT HAND IN CREATING END UP BEING SO MIND-BOGGLINGLY BACKWARDS ABOUT ROMANCE?

CG: DID NOT EVEN AN ERRANT TRICKLE OF MY INFLUENTIAL THINKPAN OOZE MAKE IT THROUGH THERE? AT ALL?

TG: not even a droplet my man we decided to be equally anal about other stupid shit i guess

CG: NO KIDDING!

CG: ANYWAYS.

TG: if yall managed to get through that door and reign supreme over the human race for lip smackin eternity you know mens and womens would be macking on each other in various gender arrangements with gleeful wild abandon 

TG: itd be a goddamn utopia

CG: FUCKING EXACTLY! BUT INSTEAD I’M HERE. DOING THIS. WITH A GOD, UNIVERSE PENDING. INSTEAD OF BEING A GOD REIGNING OVER A UNIVERSE MYSELF.

CG: *ANYWAYS*!

CG: THEY START OUT WITH A RIVALRY, SURE, BUT THERE’S ACTUALLY NOTHING BLACK ABOUT IT. THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER ARE STRICTLY POSITIVE, IF HIDDEN BEHIND A MORE AGGRESSIVE FACADE. THE VIOLENCE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP BOTH COMES FROM THE SOCIETY THEY WERE RAISED INTO, AND SOME OF THEIR MAJOR CHARACTER FLAWS AND INSECURITIES. NARUTO IS FIERCELY DEFENSIVE OF ANYONE WHO JOINS HIS CIRCLE BECAUSE HE’S DESPERATE FOR CONNECTIONS, AND REFUSES TO LOSE THEM AT ANY COST EVEN IF THEY LEAVE SUPPOSEDLY OF THEIR OWN ACCORD. SASUKE SEPARATES HIMSELF FROM THE PEOPLE HE LOVES OUT OF FEAR – AND DESIRE FOR REVENGE AGAINST HIS BROTHER CONVINCING HIM THIS IS NECESSARY.

CG: LIKE, EVEN WITHIN THE FIRST MAJOR ARC IN THE LAND OF WAVES YOU CAN SEE THAT THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO DEEPLY THAT SASUKE WOULD DIRECTLY SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND HIS POTENTIAL FOR NARUTO’S. AND BELIEVING SASUKE TO BE DEAD IS THE FIRST CATALYST TO NARUTO’S POWERS BEING RELEASED. THAT IS *REALLY* EXTREME. ESPECIALLY BY TROLL STANDARDS, BUT I UNDERSTAND KILLING PEOPLE IS A MUCH FUCKING LARGER DEAL PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR HUMANS. THAT KIND OF REACTION TO DEATH WOULD ONLY BE RESERVED FOR A CURRENT OR POTENTIAL QUADRANTMATE… AND IS OTHERWISE ONLY EXPRESSED BY TROLLS WITH DISEASES.

TG: oh yeah like the friendship disease right

CG: UGH.

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #comix #something specific

[genderkoolaid]

something ive noticed as a very effeminate trans masc that dresses pretty androgynous & has been on hrt for many years is that the status of being a "dangerous man" can and will be placed on you (ime most often by cis white women) whenever expressing any kind of negative feelings. if i told friends of mine - even queer ones - that something they did hurt my feelings or made me upset, i was suddenly a dangerous man or a (man)ipulator or whatever - even if i didn't raise my voice. the very fact that i am unhappy combined with my proximity to manhood makes me a supposed threat in their eyes.

a couple years ago i had a group of cis girl friends. they would constantly pull me into women's bathrooms n such so i wouldn't be left behind saying its fine its fine bc im one of the girls (gender neutral) but then as soon as i was upset about something i was suddenly a dangerous man who needed to stay out of women's spaces,,,, despite the fact that of the 4 of us, the girl who joined after me was the one spreading this shit around my friend group so... how was i encroaching on womens spaces if i was there before her and i was invited in? luckily one of my friends told me that the other two were plotting to kick me out of my friend group on the sole basis of my proximity to manhood so i at least knew why they were suddenly treating me like shit

its just.. i cant understand why people dont think trans mascs and trans men are discriminated against when they literally said it was my "toxic man energy" that made them want me out WHILE ALSO being the ones convincing me to go into womens spaces bc they wanted to go somewhere and didnt wanna have to leave me behind & like i said im extremely effeminate and faggy and also NONBINARY so i dont understand what "man energy" they were talking about other than the fact that im on testosterone and thinking testosterone = man is just transphobic no matter how you try to twist it

but my taking testosterone was never a problem or made me evil or scary when they wanted me to go with them into women-only (&nonbinary too i guess unless youre amab (and they can tell) or been on testosterone for too long) spaces, it was only a problem when they wanted 1. a reason to criticise me relentlessly, borderline bullying or 2. a reason to dismiss any of my concerns or criticisms of their treatment of me

all of that, to me, is transandrophobia point blank. i dont know what else you could call it other than transphobia, but transphobia doesn't address any of the very blatant and obvious connection of how my transness affects their perception of my proximity to manhood and how that affected the situation

God that sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

You make a very good point. This is why I don't want to define transandrophobia/ATM as just transphobia and misogyny directed at transmascs. I still think transunity theory is a really valuable way of looking at transphobia & its important to me that we are vocal about how masculine tropes are weaponized against trans people by cis people on the regular because of how we are positioned in relation to gender. Too many people think the that the only thing wrong with saying trans people have "dangerous male energy" is that its misgendering. So trans people who choose to associate themselves with manhood are left in the trash by the people who should know best how much being made out to be a Dangerous Male Invader hurts!

#m. #ask box #experiences with transandrophobia

[auspicioustidings]

The Revelation

Summary: You are pretty happy with the cult you have made for yourself, but when two newcomers show up you can't help but think how far you could go with this.

(this is a one-shot, I stg if your only comment on this is to say 'part 2' I will feed you to the tomato plants! If you like it and have brain worms about it by all means send those to me and we can bounce ideas around)

Words: 6.6k

CWs: Cult shit, dubcon (everyone is manipulating each other here), light petplay (hope you're proud of yourself Bo I am incapable of writing Ghoap without Johnny being a puppy now), smut, murder, slight allusion to cannibalism (in a round about way, just putting it here for safety), Catholicism

The Death of God happened on a gloomy Thursday afternoon. One moment he had been mowing the lawn and the next thing he had an epiphany about hating his suburban life, hating his suburban wife, hating the 2 kids and hating the lawnmower he had spent his last bonus on. 

The Revelation happened on a sunny Friday morning when you had popped up on his tiktok feed and told him that you understood him, that you were there for him. He had made his way to the commune, telling his wife it was just a visit to find himself. And he did. Which of course meant he never came home.

Truly you would consider yourself some what of a miracle working taking in this portly, charisma void of a businessman and turning him into some semblance of interesting. Well as interesting as anyone in this little slice of heaven. He had a fascination with growing tomatoes now. Good for him. 

The hundreds of little deaths of God had been great for business. When someone had a crisis, when someone thought they were broken, when someone just couldn't fucking take it anymore, that's when they were so desperate to believe in something that you could make them happy with a smile and a kind word every so often. You could keep them happy (well, what they believed was happy and wasn't that all that mattered?) by keeping them a little tired, a little hungry and occasionally a little high. Good for the soul really, that's what you always said. 

Surely you deserved to live on a steady diet of champagne, strawberries and decadence for all the good work you did. They all understood how difficult it was to be you. And despite your trials weren't you still so lovely to them? Even when they acted out you were gentle in your reminders that they needed fixing, that you were only ever there to help, that their friends and families would try and convince them otherwise because they didn't understand what it was to be broken. You opened your arms to them always, it was in their nature to err and in yours to forgive. 

Honestly you could keep this up for the rest of your life. A small group of people devoted to you, happy in their worship and happy in their toil. No violence needed to keep them compliant, just a soft touch and the occasional psychological torture as necessary. You had no aspirations to go beyond this, you had it good. No need for a death cult or to make yourself an actual God to them. You already had your champagne and strawberries after all, life was good. 

–

They were big, these two new men to your little oasis. It would be a tricky thing to half starve them you thought, but then it would also be a shame to have them lose all that bulk that you found you quite enjoyed looking at. Still, it was important for enlightenment and all that.

So you gave them a steady supply of soft smiles and reassuring touches, a diet of “yes this is an eco-living commune!” and “oh I never thought anyone would want to join me out here, I just got very lucky that so many wonderful people share the same morals.” They went easy of course, ex-military, used to structure and relying on someone above them to do the thinking. Perfect for you really, just two attack dogs that were impeccably trained.

They neglected to tell you that they hadn't been regular military, that they had been high ranked special operators in an elite task force. That would have made you suspicious after all and it was better you thought them stupid. Johnny had seen you on tiktok and wanted you and Simon never denied his boy anything, so here they were, playing you completely into their hands.

First it was getting themselves special privileges, unlimited access to food, a home right next to yours, full evenings of rest. Hadn't been hard to make you think it was your idea.

“Och it's alright lass, I ken we're naw military anymore. Dinnae need tae be a lean, mean, killing machine oot here.”

“Of course not Johnny, I'd hope you think you're very safe here.”

“Aye, feel safe with you. Ye look after us. Wish ye would let us look after you more!”

“I don't need anymore than I already have, but it's so wonderful of you to say, truly.”

Then a few days later when there had been time for that little declaration to settle in.

“Simon! How are you, I didn't see you yesterday.”

“Sorry, pulled my shoulder something awful. Felt like a right git not being able to do work properly.”

“Oh that's terrible, how did you pull it?”

“Ah just lack of training is all. Too used to being strong, retirement doesn't really lend itself to that.”

“You're still plenty strong!”

“I hope so. Some of the things I hear about what people's families think of you… if it ever came down to it, I want you to know I'd protect you with my life. Both me and Johnny would, strong or not.”

You had really been given an absolute gift here. That was something that had been making you a little paranoid. If family members escalated to violence there was really nothing you could do. You were a lover (here meaning awful con artist but that was just semantics) not a fighter. And now there was a solution right in your lap.

“How would you and Johnny feel about being security then? I'd hate to think we'd ever need it of course, but it would make people feel safer. Some of their families are terrible people I'm afraid, I don't want anyone to get hurt because someone tries something violent” you said gently, of course concerned for these innocent people being viciously abused by their awful families (these brainwashed people being taken by their loved ones to recover and live meaningful lives again, lives which did not involved maintaining your champagne and strawberry habit).

“If you ask us of course we'd never say no, it's just… would it be ok to have an hour a day to train? It's such an honour to protect this place, not looking to half arse it.”

“Of course! Come to my house with Johnny after supper and we can discuss some accommodations for your new roles.”

–

“How does that sound?” you asked, soft as silk.

You knew how it sounded, it sounded like you were the damn second coming. Giving them unrestricted food and sleep, telling them you'd have a house for them built right by your side? You knew it was working by how Johnny's eyes had went big and wet, projecting puppy-like adoration. And Simon? Oh that big, delicious man stood and walked over to you so he could kneel at your feet. Fuck you had never felt better about yourself.

“We don't deserve so much of your consideration. I-” he said, the first time you had heard him struggle to get words out through his emotion. “I want to thank you properly.”

He said it like it was a revelation and it peaked your interest. You could have squealed with delight when his cheek leant against your knee, your dress pushed by his face to let skin meet skin, eyes locked with yours as he turned to kiss your flesh. You hadn't fucked any of your followers, too messy. But these weren't regular followers anymore right? No, these were special followers. And it had been so long and he was looking at you like he was desperate to give you any pleasure he could. 

Oh Simon was desperate all right, had been thinking about getting you sloppy and pathetic for him since Johnny had excitedly shown him that bloody video of you acting like an innocent little lamb. He wanted to just barrel in, bend you over and claim you right away. It was Johnny who insisted it would be more fun to trick you, who had whined like a bitch about it until he got his way. Bloody MacTavish. He really needed to train those puppy dog eyes right out of the boy. Those had got him to indulge in all sort of risks already. Nearly fucked the whole plan right up when you had come dangerously close to catching him balls deep in Johnny in your bed, absolutely ruining him as per his own puppy dog eyed request.

For his part Johnny was positively giddy. He might give away the game if he really got to watch Simon taste you. Would he play gently with you? Oh my God would he pretend he was inexperienced to make you feel superior? Let you think you were guiding him? That might kill him dead. He tried to not fucking salivate and start panting at the thought of it. 

“Then thank me properly.”

Fuck the way his eyes lit up at that. This gorgeous man wanted you, he wanted to please you. As a hand squeezed your calf and he started to drag his mouth up your bare leg you felt the sick thrill of wondering how far they would go for you. Already people had given up families, friends, wealth. You had never pushed it beyond, horrified whenever you thought about how delicious it would be if they would die for you, kill for you and so shoving those dark thoughts to the back of your mind. 

But you didn't want Simon to die for you. You did want to see how far you could push, how deep his devotion ran. To that end you wove fingers through his hair and pulled him off of your thigh, his eyes flickering from your wet panties sticking to your cunt up to your own eyes in question. 

“I want you to kiss Johnny.”

You said it like a woman possessed. Fuck. That's exactly what you wanted. You wanted these big masculine men to fuck against their own desires but do it for you. They were dumb jocks really, probably had never fumbled around with another man before. They'd find it hard, find it wrong. You didn't really consider yourself a bad person before this moment, just a clever one. This was straying into something else, some monstrous part of you that was salivating with the thought of finally being released. 

“Will you do that for me?”

You heard a choked sort of noise and looked over to see Johnny hiding his face in his hands. Of course, big Scottish man must be scared of doing such a thing. Or rather having such a thing done to him. You imagined it would be some attack to his sense of self to have a bigger man press a kiss onto him. Fuck maybe he would tear up. Maybe he would fully cry if Simon pushed inside of him. You hoped that God really was dead because if not you were sure They'd have some stern words for you after this. 

“Oh I've never…”

Fuuuuuck. Simon's vulnerable eyes darting from Johnny to you were liable to make you cum on the fucking spot. You smiled indulgently down on him, running a hand over his face is a caress. 

“You know I only ever do what's best for you don't you? I wouldn't ever ask you to do anything that isn't for the greater good. Do you believe in me Simon?” you said, the years of practice infusing your tone with a cloying sweetness. 

“Yes” he replied, barely a breathy whisper of affirmation. 

His glazed eyes looked at you with such adoration before he nuzzled his face into your hand and left a kiss there before making his way across to where Johnny was sitting on the sofa, face still hidden in his hands. He went over on his knees, crawled. You pressed your fingers against your throbbing clit, cupping yourself to try and tell your body to calm down because there was so much more to come. 

Simon crawled between Johnny’s legs, going up on his knees and grabbing Johnny’s nape to drag his face down. He was whispering something in his ear, maybe trying to settle him, trying to assure him this was what they needed to do for you. Of course had you been aware Simon was hissing at Johnny to keep it together, to stop laughing about how easily you were falling for this, then the whole thing would really have been ruined. Luckily Johnny was still a soldier, Simon still his LT, so when he was ordered to put his game face on he did it. And luckily Johnny was still a good boy, Simon was still his master, so he knew that squeezing at his pup's nape always got that furrow in his brow to relax, got him eager to please and ready to tear up at the first little tease or overstimulation.  

It was really destiny that you would be this level of power hungry, this eager to push and see what you could make people do. He had been training Johnny to put all his eager to please energy to good use for years, had turned a feral mutt into a feral mutt with impeccable training. The chance to turn a corrupt fox into a corrupt fox whose only desire was to be stroked and pampered was making him painfully hard. Johnny had been right, tricking you was far more delicious than just forcing you into it.  

When he moved Johnny’s hands from his face it was to reveal a man looking ruined, looking liquid eyed and flushed. Simon mouthed a good boy to him before pressing a kiss to his lips. It was calculatedly shy and tentative and he kept a steadying hand on Johnny’s knee, squeezing when he felt he might lose control and start panting and licking his way into his mouth as he usually tried to do. Simon couldn’t very well punish him right now without giving the game away, so he just had to use the suggestion of a future punishment. 

After the first peck you watched a slow and decadent slide into forbidden desire. They got a little bolder with each press of lips, seemed to squirm a bit more with the struggle of it feeling good but wrong. When Simon pulled away and Johnny whined despite himself you slid your hand past your waistband, needing to touch yourself or you’d die. 

“You’d like it if Simon used his tongue wouldn’t you Johnny? Would be nice to feel it against yours. It’s important that you two are close isn’t it? To do your jobs well that is.”

Johnny would have agreed with full enthusiasm and pounced Simon to get them both on the floor so he could rut his hips down into the cock he was desperate for, but the hand at his bad knee squeezed again and the spark of pain reminded him of the mission. So instead he looked at you, teary and unsure.

“H-his tongue? I… I’m naw…”

“You’re not what Johnny?”

“It’s wrong.”

“Who told you that?”

You watched him play with the thin chain around his neck, the crucifix falling out of his shirt. Catholic. Oh this must be even more torturous for him. No matter, you had killed plenty of Gods already, you could kill his. Watch guilt eat and eat and eat at him until finally he gave in to the desire. Gave in to you. Let any other divine figure die in favour of a new God.

“Oh Johnny, do you think I would lead you into temptation? It’s ok, I would never make you. If you don’t like it that’s fine, you can both call it a night hm? Security is a tough job, I would never think less of you for not being up to the task. My fault really, I must have mistaken the potential I saw in you.”

He surged forward and shoved his tongue past Simon’s teeth and you moaned deeply, fingers so slippery that getting proper friction on your clit was a challenge now. You did not think you had ever been so wet in your life, feeling slick trickle out of you as they clumsily seemed to fight for dominance, saliva dripping down Johnny’s chin from how much he was trying to follow your instructions, how deep he was trying to pull Simon’s tongue with his into his mouth. 

When they next pulled away they both seemed dazed, like they couldn't believe they had just done that. Poor Simon turned to look at your pleadingly, legs widening so you could see he was straining against his pants. He was rock solid from making out with Johnny and you were cumming all at once, hips rolling in time with your fingers as you breathed out instructions with your cunt still clenching in waves.

“Good, so good for me. Want you both to cum, get all of that tension out. Wouldn't ever leave you wanting would I?”

They both looked needy, but the fact that they quietly waited for instructions on how to cum was possibly the most erotic thing you had ever seen. 

“It's OK, you can help each other. That's what it's all about here isn't it? Helping those in need in the community, and you're both in need. Jerk your cocks together, it'll be bonding for you to cum together like that.”

They fucking did it. Simon shoved his pants down enough to free the absolute monster of a cock he had and dragged Johnny only his lap on the floor. Johnny's cock was thick as anything and just as hard. Fuck the image of Johnny taking Simon’s cock, taking every hard inch of him in his ass. Crying about how it wouldn't fit, how it was wrong. Clutching his crucifix. You needed to make it happen soon. Maybe you could make Johnny wear a plug, say it was part of training. Get him ready to be fucked by his friend and once superior without him ever realising that's what you were doing. 

Their precum was already making the slide of it easier as Simon took the lead, big hand wrapping around both of them and slowly pumping, staring at it in fascination. You were slowly overstimulating your clit, feeling that tension start growing again already. 

“Spit on it Johnny.”

He did it without hesitation, his saliva making Simon’s jerking squelch. It didn't take long until Johnny was begging, needing to cum. You didn't even register that it wasn't you he was looking at as he begged, you were too lost in sensation, eyes locked on their cocks rubbing together.

“Go on, cum. Both of you.”

Simon sped his hand and his low grunt (the ‘s’ok pup, cum’ so low you hadn’t heard it over your pleasure) combined with Johnny's drooling and panting sent you spiralling over the edge again as they both shot ropes of sticky cum all over each other.  

Fuck. What else could you make people do?

–

Over the next few weeks life got even easier for you. Simon and Johnny were excellent right hands, earning respect from all of your followers and taking on almost all of the tasks you had (which you had made sure were as minimal as possible already, the whole point of this endeavour was to live an easy life). 

Simon was careful to make sure to be seen with you, start planting the seeds in people's minds that they were an extension of you. Johnny was rapidly losing patience which made him incredibly satisfying to fuck because he got to beat every single complaint out of him. It was him that wanted to go this route so he was going to finish what he started. It had been a long time since he had seen Johnny get so worked up over anything and he forgot how much he enjoyed him when he was like this, biting at every little bit of bait that Simon left with the express purpose of having an excuse to punish him later for it. 

Johnny needed putting down when he got this wound up, at this point Simon had taken him over his knee at least once a day, collared and leashed him most nights, fucked him silly so much that he was constantly aching and plugged to keep ready for a quickie when he needed it. Which right now was inhumanly often and with them still in the bunkhouse they were having to get very creative with the venue. Johnny was going especially feral given that you had only been alone with them once more since you had promoted them and you had acted like last time had never happened. Clever actually, Simon had to hand it to you, you were very good at playing with people. He could see the little glimmer in your eye, the delight at seeing how Johnny seemed to be vibrating with anticipation of something that never came. You were setting him up to beg, making sure that when he gave in and went directly against his God that it would be him pleading for you to let him do so.

It wasn’t like you had ever been close enough to tell, but that little cross around Johnny’s neck had SR carved into the back of it. Simon had corrupted the Roman Catholic out of this pup years ago, the cross only came out on special occasions when Johnny wanted to play coy and innocent or when Simon wanted to remind him who he belonged to (because it certainly wasn’t a God, it was his fucking lieutenant). Well and now, when they both knew the sight of it would give you such a power trip that you’d fall right into their trap. 

“I was thinking about your house” you said, the three of you standing where the foundations were already being put down. 

“Aye?”

“It just seems such a waste when I have extra bedrooms in my home.”

“It would be such an honour to stay in any of them. Would we not be intruding?”

“Of course not Simon, you are my right hand men now. It makes sense for you to stay close to me. To one another.”

You swore you could see Johnny’s ears perk up, a phantom tail flicking quickly behind him in rapt attention at that. Of course their minds would go there, just like you wanted them to. It hadn’t been too difficult for you to be patient, to play with them so that you didn’t push too far too fast. It was something you were very good at. 

“Would you… still let us build something here?”

“Oh?”

“I think a temple of sorts would be nice. Somewhere for you to relax. You work so hard for all of us and if you are taking us into your space I’d hate for you to have nowhere to go to meditate alone.”

It only took a few days to wear you down. You had no idea how much influence they already had with your followers, how easy it was for them to plant that idea there and have them be the ones appealing to you to please allow them to do this for you. And while that shred of morality you had left was screaming at you not to do this, not to actually Deify yourself lest it go too far, the adoration inflated your ego and drowned your conscience out. 

So they started to build your temple.

–

“Ah! Like that. That’s it, that’s what I need” you moaned out, Simon in between your legs worshipping. 

You had moved them into your home, the large house comfortable and spacious in comparison to the bunkhouse the other followers stayed in, and that night Simon had come to your room and gotten on his knees for you. How could you say no to him? 

The adoration of your followers was nothing compared to this. They loved you yes, but fuck Simon was reverant, tongue swirling around your cunt so there was more holy water for him to glut himself on. This was decadent, languid on your bed with him focusing entirely on your pleasure, expecting nothing in return. This man who was spending his days by your side, overlooking the building of a temple in your honour. You could not decide in this moment if you wanted him to fuck you on the altar when it was done or if you wanted to fuck him. 

It was a good conundrum to have because you felt that you could simply have both. You could have whatever the fuck you wanted with this man by your side. Who could stand against him and Johnny? And who would ever worship you more? You had never actually bought your own bullshit before, but if he kept this up maybe you were some sort of God because how else could you be living this deliciously?

You tugged his hair sharply to get him off of you and pushed at him until he was on his back. You would take what you wanted from him because it was your right to do so. He did not complain as you settled your cunt on his face and rode him, if anything his clever tongue worked harder to please you. You held his head and used him, and he drank you down and thanked you for the privilege after, vanishing out of your room as silently as he had arrived.

–

It only took another few weeks for Johnny to break and oh he broke so perfectly. Simon came to your room every night to pray, and Johnny must know, must have heard how Simon spilled thank yous against your cunt even as you pushed down to deprive him of oxygen, even as you smeared your slick all over his face, moving exactly as you liked with no consideration of him. You never touched him in any way meant for his pleasure, only to use him for yours.

It was not Simon who knocked lightly on the door. Simon didn’t knock at all, he always just let himself in. 

“Come in Johnny.”

He was nervous, that much was clear. You did enjoy the sight of him in only his boxers and crucifix, moonlight doing wonders in making him look incredibly edible. You wanted to knead his pecs like they were tits, wanted to sink your teeth into the meat of his neck until you tasted blood and he cried out your name instead of his God’s.

“I want…”

“Hm? You want?”

“Will ye let me please ye? I ken Si… I’m naw good enough for ye, but I want tae be. It’s just, I’ve never uh… I’m a quick study.”

And with perfect timing, in walked Simon. Couldn’t have planned it better yourself (well, actually Johnny had planned it, Simon had laughed and ruffled his hair at how eager he had been to act the part of the blushing virgin before unhooking the leash and getting him out of his collar and into his crucifix).

“Good evening Simon” you purred. 

The man didn’t really acknowledge that Johnny was in the room, instead going to his place by the foot of your bed and kneeling. It was always where you started, with him lapping at you until you ordered him onto the bed or the floor so you could take what you needed. Only you pushed him away with your foot when he tried to pull at your shorts, holding him at leg length and looking at Johnny.

“Come sit will you?”

He nervously shuffled over, sitting next to you on the bed with his eyes darting uncomfortably down to Simon kneeling pretty, your foot still holding him away from you. He swallowed and you thought it sweet how he held your gaze to avoid watching as you motioned for Simon to move and he did so without hesitation. Johnny still didn’t look at him even as you put a hand to his knee to make him spread his legs enough for Simon’s broad shoulders to fit between them. 

“If you want to learn I’d never stop you Johnny, I want you to be the best at the things you’d like. And I’m sure Simon makes a wonderful teacher.”

Simon didn’t need prompting, obedient and perfect boy that he was. He started licking up Johnny’s thick thigh the same way he would have if you were sitting there. Johnny, bless him, gripped onto your leg like it was a lifeline, fingers digging into the plush flesh hard enough that you imagined it may leave marks. You swallowed his loud whine with your mouth when Simon slipped his boxers down and took his hard cock right to the root. It almost made you laugh, if you tried to take that in your throat you would certainly be gagging and crying.

When you pulled away Johnny was a whining mess, one hand fisted in the sheets and the other still dug into the fat of your thigh. You wondered if he had ever gotten head. Certainly not from another man. Oh wouldn’t his priest be so disappointed in him. You could imagine a severe man in the robes of God, looking with disgust at the whore before him. But you were a kinder creature, letting him indulge in pleasure without telling him he couldn’t. 

Well, to a point. You pushed Simon to stop with the frankly immaculate looking blow job when it was clear from Johnny’s hips rutting that he was close. Then you swung your leg around, straddling Johnny and squeezing yourself to him, stopping him from trying to get friction from you.

“Not yet Johnny, you need to be patient hm? Simon, open him up. Tongue first, then fingers.”

Johnny was tearing up, looking at you like he didn’t understand why you were doing this while feeling horribly guilty that he liked it. He howled when Simon’s tongue started playing at his rim, his hands gripping at your hips to try and make you move against him. You put a hand to his throat and squeezed lightly.

“It’s ok, you can take it can’t you?”

“I-I cannae, please bonnie, I’m naw- I dinnae-” he whined before he choked on nothing, eyes blown wide, “h-his tongue is, fuck it’s inside.”

“I know Johnny, I know. Is it too much then? Should I tell him to stop? If you can’t take it, then at least you tried” you said, sweet as anything but putting a tiny edge of disappointment into your tone.

“I can take it! Please, I can! Dinnae make him stop, I can take whatever ye gie me!”

“Good boy.”

Oh, the reaction to those two words was worth exploring. It was like he changed from a man to some pathetic animal, eyes watery and begging, hands pawing at your hips while his own desperately tried to buck up. You felt how he froze, heard how he choked when Simon pressed a finger into him.

“Hmm that’s it, take what you’re given, you’ll be good and hold off for me hm?” you cooed, moving a hand to run fingers under his chain, all the way around until you were behind his neck and could yank, have that crucifix choking him. “Looks better like this Johnny, almost like a pretty collar for you.”

Jackpot. Even with you clamping down to give him as little room for friction as possible you felt the hot gush of his cum, him getting there from being choked, being compared to a dog to be collared. Well if he was going to be a mutt that came without your permission, the permission of his master, then he needed to learn his place no?

“Fuck pet, told you to be patient.”

“Sorry, m’sorry bonnie. Ah! M-make him stop, s’too much!”

“Make him stop? But he’s been good for me, followed everything I’ve asked, You went ahead and finished without permission. Wouldn’t make sense to punish him and reward you, I need to be fair pet.”

He was clearly overstimulated, his hips trying to rut even as he gasped at every bit of friction he got. Oh you wanted to see him fucked out and ruined. You wanted his heart on a fucking platter.

“More Simon. Johnny here is going to let you fuck him tonight, so you need to open him up properly.”

“I-I-” Johnny stuttered, bottom lip quivering and eyes wide and wet. If you weren't so high on the decadence of having these two men at your mercy you’d have questioned just how practised that was. 

“Tell me Johnny. Tell me what it is you want.”

Tell me what it is I want to hear that you want. Be a good boy, don’t disappoint me. You’d hate to disappoint me after all I’ve done for you.

“I want Simon tae fuck me tonight.”

“Good boy” you said, hammering that final nail in God’s coffin as you yanked again at the chain so hard it snapped, taking your trophy and tossing it onto your desk without ever having examined it closely.

You watched Simon ruin him at your command. You drank their praise like champagne, bit into their gratitude like strawberries bursting their juice on your chin. You were greedy in how many times you used them for your pleasure, their fingers, their tongues, the sight of them overcome with hedonistic abandon. 

You felt like a God.

–

The temple was beautiful, no effort or expense spared. The first floor was a space for everyone, for the brand new community gatherings that you occasionally led but had mostly been letting Simon and Johnny lead. Above that was two glorious floors of space only for you. The only other people permitted to set foot in here were your two right hands. It was something else, being in the luxuriant bed drinking champagne and watching the two of them play with each other for your benefit. 

You could not stop thinking about the way Johnny had writhed at the mention of a collar when you had taken his crucifix for yourself (it still sat on the desk right where you had left it). You could not stop imagining how such a thing would look around his thick neck, how your other followers would look at it and be jealous that he got to be so visibly claimed by you.

As always your wish was their command. Simon had presented you with a gorgeous necklace of sorts, almost a choker, the pendant a symbol you didn’t recognise. 

“This doesn’t look like a collar for you.”

“It’s for you. The symbol is from the cult of Venus, we thought… well we thought if you could wear it, show people, then when we wore it…”

“You want them to know you are wearing it for me.”

Perfect fucking boys weren’t they. They didn’t just want to show up in a collar, they wanted to show up in a symbol associated with you. It was pretty enough what they had chosen, delicate and clearly made with care and devotion. You turned and lifted your hair so he could put it on you and the very next community gathering was Johnny eagerly explaining the symbol to your followers. It was etched into the temple walls soon after. 

–

The realisation happened all at once. You only attended community gatherings for special occasions now and when you did they were all looking at you like you were their God made flesh. Your followers had become something else, something well beyond a little eco-living commune. That had not been your doing. 

The door was locked. You could not leave your space in the Temple. Your hand flew to the back of your necklace, realising with a startle that you couldn’t take it off. Simon and Johnny never did have collars made. Why would they? You were rapidly realising they had never intended to. You looked in the mirror, tried to find a clue. The pendant… it was only when you drew it over and over again that you figured it out. This wasn’t some symbol of an old Goddess, it was the letters S R J M twisted around to make a pretty symbol. You sat and stewed, waiting for them to get back. When they did you were sat on the bed, glowering at them.

“Aww ye figure us out bonnie?”

“You played me.”

“Like a fucking violin sweetheart” Simon cooed, walking over to flick the pendant. 

You huffed up at him. Everything was completely fucked now. You had all but ordered your followers to treat these two as your spokesmen. You had been slowly vanishing from public life, ingraining in their minds that you were a God who lived in a temple and only graced them with your presence when they had really earned it. All this after years of breaking them down so they thought nothing they ever did was good enough, so of course they would never think they had earned it. 

And you had never used violence for anything, you were soft and lived on champagne and strawberries for fuck sake, it wasn’t like you could brute force your way out of this. You were enough of a schemer to know when you had been outplayed.

“So the little shy virginal act?”

Johnny laughed and came over to nuzzle into your hair.

“Ye’d naw believe how many times Si has been in my arse hen, this isnae even the first house of God he’s bent me over in.”

You scowled and pushed his head away, but his eyes only sparkled with excitement as he bullied it right back into nuzzling you like a fucking dog. 

“Pup has been so excited about you finally figuring it out. You’ve been teasing him for months now, don’t think it’s time to give him a treat for how well behaved he’s been for you?”

It’s not like you were against the idea, it had been delicious being the dominant one all this time but there was something interesting about the idea of letting Simon take control, letting him get Johnny to fuck you the way you had let him fuck Johnny. Because that would be the case you knew now. It was so obvious knowing what you knew, you really should have figured out way sooner that Simon had always been in control. All the things you had done since he got here that you had thought your ideas weren’t yours at all, he had put them in your head. 

“So that’s it then? You keep me here and take over?”

Simon was looking at you with something deranged behind those eyes. It was dreadfully exciting. 

“You're coming to tonight's community gathering. You can decide if puppy gets a treat after that.”

–

The Birth of God happened on that brilliant Friday evening. One moment you had been fighting against your conscience, and the next you had let go. You had walked forward, no floated, and pressed a holy kiss to his head. Watching one of your followers plunge a knife into the heart of another on your altar, both with a smile on their faces, was fucking beautiful.

The Revelation happened about the same time. You dipped your fingers in the blood (the same colour as those tomatoes he so loved, the tomatoes that his body would feed and your followers would eat) and marked his murderer with your symbol, the initials of the men that had made you God. 

Puppy had more than earned his treat.

#mhairiwrites #cod #fanfic #ghoap x reader #simon riley x reader #john mactavish x reader #simon riley x john mactavish #please read the cws #also please let me exist on champagne and strawberries because I am OVER IT #if I was not a depressed little mess and could actually write smut right now you would have gotten reader getting railed on a bloody altar #would have been great

[gojoloves]

✧˖°. little blue bars ✧˖°. fem!reader x gojo, x sukuna, x geto, x toji, x nanami 5.2k words kinks and warnings: submissive reader, sixsome, recreational drug use, oral sex, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, anal sex, anal fingering, creampies, unprotected sex, dirty talk, degredation, praise kink, nipple play, no real aftercare (but it's implied), uhhh i think that's it?

author's note: heavily inspired by heichoe's "polluted" on ao3, which i'll link to in the replies!

loud music, the smell of cigarettes tinging the air, and seemingly free-flowing alcohol - just another typical scene for a lot of students. the party is packed, with people dancing in the middle of the room and just as many others huddled on the sidelines, whether spreading gossip or making out like they don’t have an audience.

you push your way through the throngs of people, looking for a familiar face. you notice a few students from your classes, but none you actually give a shit about talking to. you’re looking for your friends, and you find yourself bummed out all over again that utahime hadn’t been able to come because of work, and shoko had bailed at the last second, not even bothering to give a reason. typical.

the other two girls saying they couldn’t come to the party and, consequently, the “after party” left you feeling a little conflicted. it wasn’t uncommon for all of the group to gather at sukuna’s apartment after the usual friday night festivities. but did you really want to be the only gal rolling up to what was now, for all intents and purposes, a boys’ night?

feeling fingers wrap around your right bicep, you turn to look at the culprit. recognizing the mess of white hair before even registering his face, you let out a sigh of relief. “there you are,” you say. “i’ve been looking for one of you.”

“why?” he asks. “you ready to head out already? so early?” one corner of his lips tugs upward, his usual grin itching to show itself already.

you roll your eyes at his jab, choosing to ignore it. “i think i’m going to just head home for the night, let you guys enjoy yourselves or whatever you freaks do when we’re not around.”

gojo shakes his head. “no, no. come hang out with us. it won’t be the same without you,” he says, the persuasive nature of his personality already showing its hand. you know that he knows that he can get you to agree to just about anything if he butters you up.

and it’s working, even if you tell yourself it’s just that you don’t feel like arguing. you give in with a nod.

“cool,” he tells you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he uses his body to guide you through the other students in the apartment. “the others already left, went back to the apartment. we’ll meet up with them there.”

sukuna’s apartment is nothing fancy - it’s a studio apartment, and between the two couches in the living room and the bed just off the side of the common area, there’s plenty of space for all of the group to hang out.

just as gojo had said, the other three men were already there, seated on the living room furniture, yelling about something that had happened earlier during the week. when you and gojo enter the apartment, the yelling cuts short as greetings are exchanged.

“so nice of the princess to join us,” toji says with the hint of a smirk popping up at the edges of his lips.

you click your tongue at the remark. “you can thank gojo for that. i was going to let this be a sausage party, but he convinced me otherwise,” you respond, walking over to the couches. as you go to grab a seat, sukuna has other plans, his hands finding your hips and pulling you down into his lap. your breath hitches in your throat as he grabs you, but you otherwise doesn’t show any resistance.

it’s not like you haven’t been in this exact position with him before.

“nah, she wouldn’t leave us here like that,” sukuna says, resting his chin on your shoulder as he speaks. “would you, babe?”

you make a noise of vague approval in return, watching as gojo walks into the adjoining kitchen. it’s strange that nanami isn’t there, you think, but you brush the thought aside as you hear geto speak to you.

“you look awful comfortable sitting there. something we should know about you and sukuna?” geto asks, the tip of his tongue hanging out of his mouth to further showcase the intended cheekiness of his comment.

before you can respond, sukuna’s speaking up. “as if you don’t know she’s a whore for me,” he says. “quit playing dumb.”

you quickly turn to look at him, your cheeks heating up at his words. “what the fuck?” you whisper, squirming around to get out of his lap, but his hold on your hips only tightens. you steal a glance in the opposite direction to look for support from gojo, but he’s leaning against the kitchen island, staring at you as he sips from a cup of god knows what.

“don’t be so uptight,” gojo says, his usual cocky grin present. “you know how guys talk about these things.”

maybe so, but you didn’t think sukuna would blab about your hookups to your mutual friends. find friends to tell that don’t know and interact with you on a daily basis. that’s what you’d done, anyway - despite all of your temptation to dish the details to utahime and shoko.

“think i might be a bit jealous, even,” geto says.

“right? if you’re giving it up so freely, why are you holding out on us?” toji prods.

you watch gojo walk over to stand in front of where you and sukuna sit on the couch. you look up at him with wide eyes, and you aren’t sure how to feel about the look on his face. but your attention to his expression soon fades as you realize he’s holding up a small, unlabeled pill bottle, pinched between his index finger and thumb. he gives it a shake.

“that’s because you two don’t know about what makes her loosen up so much,” he says knowingly, opening the bottle to reveal a couple of small, oval-shaped, blue pills. “how about it?”

you know what they are, without a doubt, and you’re suddenly able to put two and two together. they had planned this between them, likely when they found out the other two women wouldn’t be around - for you to come over, to get you high, to have some fun with you.

and honestly? the thought really turned you on.

“open,” sukuna says, reaching around to place his hand on your jaw, your mouth opening pliantly.

gojo watches you closely to see if there’s any resistance. when your eyes meet his, you give the smallest nod. it’s all the confirmation he needs to drop one of the pills into your mouth, handing you the cup he was previously drinking from.

as you tip the glass back, sukuna lets his hand drop, both of them resting on your thighs. “good girl,” he says. “let that kick in, then we’ll have some fun.”

you’re not entirely sure which comes first: the lightheadedness from the xanax you’ve taken or sukuna taking your top off, discarding it to the side like he has absolutely no use for it. he doesn’t, really.

the black bralette you have on underneath leaves little to the imagination - the silver bars through your nipples pushing tightly against the lace - as the previously mentioned man runs his hands down your sides, still holding you on his lap. you rest your head back against sukuna’s shoulder, looking up at the ceiling.

“feelin’ a bit more relaxed?” he whispers in your ear.

that’s one way to put it. you nod, enjoying how much your body feels like its weightless, how it’s as if his hands are on fire against your waist. “yeah, i feel good,” you answer.

toji chuckles from the corner of the other couch, patting the empty cushion between him and geto. “then why don’t you come over here and join us?” although it’s a question, it’s not meant as one. you know that much, can hear it in his tone.

sukuna nudges you to rise to your feet, and you take the few steps between the two couches. as soon as you’re settled between the two of them, toji’s hands are on your hips, angling you towards him a bit more. wordlessly, he moves to begin unbuttoning your skirt. you let out the softest whine, but your attention is soon drawn away by geto taking your chin into his hand.

“and to think i’d have thought you’d be a brat,” he murmurs, a malicious grin appearing as he speaks.

“she is when she’s not high,” sukuna retorts. “but she’s obedient when she’s got a little something extra in her system.”

you can feel your cheeks getting hot again. just because it’s true doesn’t mean he has to say it, you think, and you send him a short glare in a feeble attempt to get him to shut his mouth. he only stares you down, unrelenting. when has he ever let you have power over him, anyway?

you break the eye contact, shifting your gaze to gojo. he’s watching as toji finishes getting your skirt off, but his expression doesn’t change. that’s somehow more scary, knowing him.

“come here,” geto says, fingers gripping your hair as his lips connect with your neck. “don’t worry about them right now. you’re busy.”

you can feel the pads of toji’s fingers grazing over your bare thighs and, to your embarrassment, your legs are spreading before you can really stop them from doing so. toji laughs under his breath, a bit of mockery in the sound. “get one xanny in your system and you open up this much, huh? we should’ve done this to you a while ago,” he says.

you know you should tell him off - even if he is right, and god, he is - but with geto’s kisses moving to your lips, his tongue seeking yours immediately, you don’t have the chance. your position is a bit awkward, waist twisted sideways as you’re lying on your backside, but there’s no way in hell you’re going to complain about it. you’ve got other things goin on.

“you’re spoilin’ her too damn much,” sukuna says. “make her get to work.”

geto makes a sound of disapproval. “you always this mean to her during your hookups? maybe i’m spoiling her to make up for your lack of reciprocation,” he says coolly.

if it bothers sukuna, he doesn’t show it. he simply grins, teeth bared, as he replies. “she wouldn’t come crawling back like she always does if she wasn’t taken care of.”

you’re only half-listening to them as you run your palm over the front of geto’s sweats, prompting a hiss from the man. you look up at him, tilting your head slightly. it’s clear what you’re waiting on, and geto’s not stupid. he slides both his pants and boxers down in one go while you prop yourself up on one elbow, spitting into your hand before taking his dick into your grasp.

toji’s cupping his hand over the front of your panties, letting you work your hips against his palm. “god, you’re that desperate for it, huh?” he asks, moving to kneel on the floor in front of the couch. he kisses up one thigh before pressing his tongue against the fabric, making you yelp.

your own lips wrap around the head of geto’s cock, tongue flicking over the tip. “that’s right,” he says lowly, letting his head rest against the back of the couch as you get him off.

you’re vaguely aware of your underwear being pulled down before feeling his breath against your bare skin, but geto’s grip on you holds steady, keeping you bobbing up and down on him. when you feel toji’s tongue on you, though, you moan, causing geto to bite back a groan of his own.

“we both know you can do better than that,” sukuna says.

gojo laughs under his breath, entering the conversation for the first time since this had really started. “she’s getting warmed up. she’ll do fine,” he says.

you continue stroking geto as you hollow your cheeks in around his tip, the sensation of one of toji’s fingers pressing into you as his tongue laps at your clit feeling way, way too good. you’ve imagined this before, the way your thighs would feel wrapped around his head, and you’re relieved he’s even better than you’d expected. hell, he doesn’t have the reputation he does for no good reason, right?

geto’s breathing is steadily growing shallower, and you know it won’t be long until he’s blowing his first load of the night. you pull off of him quickly, still stroking to keep the momentum up. “where do you wanna finish?” you ask, batting your eyelashes at him.

“keep it clean and swallow like you should,” geto tells you, pushing your head back down on him.

you feel toji add a second digit to his demonstrations, your hips rising a little as you press against his face. when he laughs under his breath at you, you feel him curl his fingers upwards, making you jolt a little.

as you do, geto’s own hips surge forward, his cum coating the inside of your throat as you swallow around him. before you can pop off of him, he looks down at you, staring you in the eye. “don’t be wasteful,” he tells you. “swallow it all and show me.”

when you do lift your head, you open your mouth, tongue hanging out languidly.

geto reaches behind your back, popping your bralette unhooked and discarding it with the rest of your clothes. he moves to sit you in-between his legs, toji following along, his fingers never letting up their motions inside of you.

you moan, looking over to gojo and sukuna as geto begins playing with your nipples, tugging at your piercings. “wonder why you’d get these,” he teases curiously. “what leads a sweet girl like you to get this done?”

“k-kuna wanted me to get them done,” you mutter, breath ragged as toji continues his assault on you.

“kuna?” geto repeats mockingly. “you do everything kuna tells you to?”

sukuna raises an eyebrow from where he sits, again not bothering to take geto’s bait.

“clenching around my fingers, doll? you getting close for me?” toji asks, lips wrapping around your clit to take you higher, your back arching up as you whimper his name under your breath. “go ahead, let it go. show us how good you look when you come.”

as your first orgasm of the night overtakes you, you can hear sukuna laughing. it both delights and terrifies you, unable to even take a guess at what’s prompted the emotion from him. when you rest back against geto’s chest, you looks down at toji, who’s now got his fingers, covered in your juices, wrapped around his cock. it’s a sinful display, and it causes you to lick your lips without even realizing it.

“why don’t we move her to the bed?” gojo suggests, an eyebrow quirked as he looks at you, his sunglasses lowered down his nose a bit.

sukuna scoffs. “i didn’t tell any of you fuckers you could use my bed, make it all messy,” he says indignantly.

“bill me for the dry cleaning,” gojo mutters dismissively, walking over to you and lifting you up with ease. it’s no surprise; he’s always been strong. he walks you over to the bed, toji following, dick still in hand. the perk of a studio apartment, you guess, is that even from their seats on the couch, geto and sukuna still have front row access to the show. “get on your hands and knees, baby. can you do that?”

you do as you’re told, and you can hear gojo unbuckling his belt behind you. toji comes to stand in front of you, and as soon as he drops his hand, you’re taking his shaft into your mouth.

“goddamn, you got a mouth made for this,” toji praises, resting his hand on your cheek.

gojo spreads your legs apart, wrapping an arm around your waist from behind. “looks like fushiguro got you nice and opened up for me,” he says. you nearly purr as you feel him drag his tip up and down your slit, teasingly pressing against your hole, but never enough to actually give you any type of satisfaction. you can feel yourself clenching around nothing in anticipation.

and he has the nerve to laugh at you for it. as he finally slides into you, giving in when he sees you pout, he leans his head close to your ear. “this ‘s been a long time coming, huh?” he whispers before sitting back up, grabbing hold of either side of your waist as he fucks in and out of you.

“think she likes it when we talk to her like that,” toji says, smirk growing on his face. “you like being treated like this? your friends using you to get off?”

you nod without hesitation, and you hear all of the men give some form of a laugh in response. if your cheeks weren’t already flushed from pleasure, you think they’d be red as a tomato from the way you grow wetter at the embarrassment.

gojo’s hold on you shifts to wrapping around your thighs, spreading your legs even more for himself. “god, how are you this tight, pretty girl, huh?”

“got a tight little body, tight pussy. tight little ass, too, i bet,” toji says, thrusting to fuck your face.

“wonder if we should find out,” gojo muses, the mischief in his voice making you squirm.

sukuna gestures lazily to the nightstand. “lube’s in the top drawer. she’ll act like she doesn’t want it, but she does,” he says.

you pop off of toji’s dick again only briefly to fire back a rebuttal. “do you ever shut up?” you groan, the sound turning to a moan of pleasure when gojo reaches down to toy with your clit.

toji guides your attention back to his dick, which you eagerly takes back into your mouth, looking up to make eye contact with him. he reaches over to the nightstand drawer, opening it and fumbling around before finding the lube, tossing it to gojo.

his blue eyes gleam with mischief as he opens the bottle, using one hand to separate your ass cheeks a little more before letting a glob of the cool, clear liquid pool at your hole. “you like having your ass played with, baby?” he coos, running his thumb around your rim as he continues to fuck you.

you nod eagerly. you think you hear sukuna mutter something about remembering that, but you’re a little too gone to care. your lightheadedness has gotten worse, and you feels so overwhelmed that you can hardly focus on anything but the pleasure.

toji grunts. “gonna come,” he says, thrusts growing rougher against your throat. you let him control the pacing, gagging around him until you feel his rhythm falter, cum filling your mouth. you attempt to swallow all of it, but some dribbles out past your lips, and toji can only laugh as he tries to calm his breathing. “that’s all right, honey. i’m not mean like geto. i like it a little messy.” his accompanying wink makes you want to melt.

you can only smile as your eyes roll back in your head at gojo pushing his thumb into your asshole as you rock back against him.

sukuna looks like he’s about to speak up when there’s a knock at the door. you expect gojo to stop, expect them all to try to pretend like they were doing anything else, but he doesn’t. none of them do. toji’s hand flies out to muffle your moans, and gojo’s pace doesn’t give at all.

your eyes widen as sukuna opens the door. all that separates you from the unknown person is that very piece of wood. if the guest stepped just a little more than two feet into the apartment, you, gojo, and toji would be on display for them, clear as day.

“i’m late, but i’m here,” you hear a man say.

nanami.

sukuna looks over at the three of them, then back over his shoulder to geto. it happens like a chain reaction. when geto smirks, then sukuna does, then gojo, then toji. and you feel your stomach tighten, a shiver running down your spine at the mere thought.

“i’d say you’re right on time,” sukuna says. “we’ve got some, well, private entertainment. bet you’re gonna love it a hell of a lot.”

the moment nanami steps into the apartment, the air changes. but leave it to gojo satoru to break such a heavy tension by doing what he knows best: bullshitting.

“nanamin, you made it,” he says in greeting, words seeming to punctuate each thrust as his fingers continue working to stretch your ass.

the blond’s eyes widen as his eyes trail between you, gojo, and toji. toji laughs quietly, tucking his dick back into his pants. “long time no see, nanami,” toji says.

you remain quiet until you feel a smack against your ass. “not even going to greet our pal? thought you had better manners than that,” gojo says, snark leaking from his words.

“h-hi, nanamin,” you say, forcing yourself to look at him.

nanami greets you by name, dragging the syllables out as if he’s saying it for the first time. “i thought you’d be with either utahime or shoko tonight.”

geto speaks up, answering for you. “no, she’s here taking care of her boys tonight. isn’t that so generous of her?” he teases. his cock’s in his hand again, stroking slowly as he watches the show you and gojo are putting on.

gojo’s thrusts grow a bit lazier, and he’s having trouble biting back the moans that beg to slip from his lips. “pussy feels so good,” he says. “gonna - gonna come inside you, that all right?”

when you hum in the affirmative, you notice nanami reach up and tug at the neckline of his henley. your eyes meet with sukuna’s, and you can tell what he’s thinking by the look in his eyes. he’s challenging you, urging you to invite nanami to join your little game - as if he’s goading you on with a “you’re already taking four, what’s one more going to hurt?”

“fuck - ‘m coming,” gojo says through gritted teeth, emptying his load inside of you, thrusts slowing down as he makes sure you takes every last drop. for good measure, he reaches underneath you again, rubbing tight circles over your clit.

“sh - gojo -,” you hiss, rocking forward but unable to get out of his grasp.

“don’t be ungrateful, princess,” toji scolds you. “take it and say thank you.”

it doesn’t take gojo long to bring you to your second orgasm of the night, leaving you a panting mess, his hands on your hips helping hold you steady after he’s pulled out of you. he rubs his thumb over your skin affectionately, his own small contribution to aftercare, knowing your night isn’t over yet.

“you want more?” gojo asks. “think you can take more?”

you nod immediately, biting your lip. “want - want more,” you manage to say, resting your head on the mattress in front of you. you can feel gojo’s cum leaking out, and you reach between your legs, using two fingers to push it back inside of you as you make eye contact with nanami.

he lets out a breath he hadn’t intended to be holding, shaking his head. “god, how’d the five of you even end up here?” he asks, but he still reaches for his belt. he walks over to the bed, to you, letting a hand trail down your spine softly. “better yet, how did i end up here?”

“you want her cunt or her ass?” geto asks, standing up and joining you both by the bed. “because i’m taking whichever one you don’t.”

nanami seems to take just a few moments to consider. he picks up the lube from the bed, glancing down to you. “i suppose we should let her choose, shouldn’t we?” he suggests, the slightest hint of a smile showing at the corner of his lips.

sukuna sucks his teeth. “she won’t fucking care. surprise her,” he says.

you, hating to agree with him but knowing he’s right, whine. “don’t care, just want you both,” you say. “please.”

geto nudges you so that you’re on your side before turning to nanami, the two seeming to have a silent conversation with the looks they’re sharing. after what feels like forever - at least to you - nanami moves to lie in front of you. he holds your leg up, effortlessly slipping inside of you, the mixture of your and gojo’s fluids immediately welcoming him. “shit,” he curses quietly, pace slow as he gets started.

geto slots in behind you, running his hand up and down his dick, coating it with plenty of lube. he takes some more from the bottle and squeezes it onto his hand, slathering it over your hole and pushing three fingers inside. he leans forward until his lips are ghosting the shell of your ear. “gojo got you nice and ready for me, huh? nice of him, wasn’t it?” he whispers. “i think you’re ready, baby.”

you try your best to nod, but with nanami rocking in and out of you, it’s a little hard for you to focus on geto’s question.

you feel him press the head of his cock up against you, and between how turned on you are and the xanax still coursing through your body, you manage to keep your body relaxed.

“good girl,” nanami praises. “doing so well. we’re going to make you feel really good.” he leans forward, neck tucked down a bit to take one of your nipples into his mouth, his hand playing with your clit to make it as pleasurable as he can for you

“tightest fucking ass,” geto hisses. “almost there. you can take it.”

you feel so full, like you’re ready to burst at the seams, but when the two men find their rhythm, matching their thrusts so that you’re really getting your body used, it’s heavenly. you bury your face into nanami’s chest, letting them fuck into you like you belong to them. your moans get the best of you as you repeat their names, nearly fucked too stupid to say anything else.

over your own sounds, you can vaguely hear gojo, sukuna, and toji talking.

“you’ve been real hands-off tonight, sukuna,” toji comments curiously. “didn’t think it was like you to share your toys without taking a piece for yourself.”

gojo lets out a noise of mock affront. “as if he’d ever do something so selflessly.”

sukuna reaches up, resting his arms behind his head. “what can i say, gentlemen? i’m a patient man,” he says.

the statement terrifies you, but you don’t have time to dwell on it. nanami’s kissing you while geto’s playing with your nipples and sucking on your neck - your third orgasm hitting rapidly before you can so much as think to say you’re experiencing it.

nanami’s nice enough to ask where you want him to come; geto isn’t, filling your ass without a second thought. through shaky breaths, you tell nanami he can finish wherever he wants, and in the spirit of the night, he pumps his own load inside of you, the contents mixing with gojo’s and again pooling on the bed once nanami pulls out.

“how’s it feel?” gojo asks, the shit-eating grin prominent on his face. “you fucked out now?”

sitting alone on the bed while nanami and geto redress, coming down from their own highs, you sit up, spreading your legs open as you make eye contact with the only man who hasn’t had a piece of you that night.

“kuna,” you mumble.

a devilish grin appears on his face, sharp canines glistening as he stalks towards his own bed. “what is it?” he asks. “four men not enough for you? you that much of a slut?”

you nod in agreement. hell, you’d agree with anything he said about you in these circumstances, if it meant he’d fuck you. you know that’s dangerous territory, but you can’t bring yourself to care. you just can’t.

as he stands at the foot of the bed, he grabs your ankle, pulling you down to the edge of the mattress. “look how much of a mess you’ve made. got their cum leaking out of you, got fushiguro’s on your face. but you still want more, huh?”

the shame and embarrassment you felt earlier comes rushing back to you, but still, you nod. “want you,” you say under your breath.

with a raised eyebrow, sukuna reaches into his pants to pull his cock out. as he rubs it against your swollen lips, you cover your face with your hands.

“t-too sensitive!” you cry out. “i can’t, i can’t -.”

“you can,” sukuna interrupts. “you can take one more for me. i know you can. you can’t fuck all of our friends then not fuck me. i had you first. remember?”

though the pout doesn’t leave your face, you nod up at him, as if his logic makes any type of sense, that he had some sort of claim to you just because he’d been the first one of your group to get his hands underneath your skirt.

when he pushes into you, your arms quickly wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you. other than whimpers of pleasure, you’re speechless; your brain refused to formulate any type of response worth anything.

“guess we finally figured out how to shut her up,” geto comments quietly, earning a laugh from gojo and a glare from nanami.

sukuna’s mostly silent himself, short of a few pants and grunts, too focused on getting himself off after an evening of watching everyone else have their fun. when he feels your pussy contracting around him, he laughs breathlessly. “that’s it. you know you’re gonna come again,” he says. “just let it happen. give me one more.”

as you do, holding him tighter, your nails digging into his shoulder blades beneath his shirt and your heels digging into his ass, you feel him coming inside you, milking him for all that he’s got.

after a few moments, he pulls out of you and looks down between your legs, shaking his head. “gonna be a hell of a dry cleaning bill, gojo,” he says, looking over to the man he’s addressing.

gojo seems unbothered, waving off sukuna’s comment.

nanami brings over a glass of water, offering it to you, and you take it gratefully, immediately downing half of it in one go.

the six of you are quiet for several moments, the realization of the aftermath setting in for each of you. you seem to take it in stride, though, speaking up after a few minutes, your voice scratchy from all your throat has been through - vocally and otherwise.

“maybe i’ll have to crash boys’ night more often.”

#jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo smut #sukuna smut #toji smut #geto smut #nanami smut

[zepskies]

Break Me Down - Part 7

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

AN: I think a lot of you have been waiting on this one…and stick around after the end for something special!

Song Inspo: For this chapter it’s “Can’t Wait” by Foreigner (if you listen to it, you’ll see why).

Word Count: 5,000 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut and feels. That is all.

Part 7: Until Midnight

Two weeks later, you could admit that Ben was frustrating you in a different way than usual. 

You didn’t want to like him, or be indebted to him. But he was different lately whenever the two of you were alone. Especially at night, when the two of you often met in the kitchen. 

It was the one time where he truly seemed to relax, without his men around him. Without the Soldier Boy persona he wore like a fine tailored suit. 

One night, the two of you were once again sitting together in the kitchen after a marathon of all three Hangover movies. Now you each had a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, of which you’d convinced him to try the “Chunky Monkey” so you could have your “Half Baked” brownie pieces and cookie dough to yourself. 

Ben had all but inhaled his, while you were still chipping away at half the pint.

“You still hate me?” he asked.

You paused in delving into a thick piece of brownie to look up at his bearded face, which was deceptively nonchalant. If he was asking you that, then he really did want to know.

Yet it was a harder question to answer than you would’ve thought a couple of weeks ago. You decided to level him with the truth this time.

“Like I said before, I don’t have a personal vendetta against you or anything,” you admitted. 

Ben rose a brow at you. “But you hate me.” 

You sighed. He could be so childish sometimes.

“Have you forgotten that you’re still holding me against my will?” you pointed out. “Presumably until my team can find me, and you can pick them off one by one.”

“You fuckers came at me first,” he countered. “And I haven’t touched you. Hell, I saved you.”

Yes, he had. You couldn’t ignore that fact.

But there were other reasons that he needed to be put in check.

“You’ve killed a lot of fucking people, Ben,” you said. “I can’t imagine how many of them didn’t deserve it. And before you start, collateral damage is not an excuse. It’s murder. You haven’t seemed to care about that, or much of anyone other than yourself and your own amusement.” 

There. Cards on the table.

Ben set down his ice cream on the counter with enough force to rattle his spoon. He crossed his arms at you.

“You’re pretty fucking high and mighty for someone who probably spent the last few years up Vought’s shithole,” he pointed out, shaking his head. “Doing their dirty work. Whatever I did back then, it didn’t end with me. You were part of it too.”

You frowned in annoyance. A hot retort was poised on your tongue.

Whatever he did back then? He’d crashed a skyscraper and killed nineteen people last year! He’d taken out nearly the entire cast of Payback, his old team. However justified he felt about the latter, taking a life was taking a goddamn life!

You wanted to say all that and more…but you paused.

Because he wasn’t exactly wrong, about you at least. You knew you’d done your fair share of shit. And you had taken people out, when you’d needed to.

For self-defense, to stop a criminal, to protect someone…and yes, sometimes, you’d been part of the cleanup crew. Disposing bodies and extracting supes from “unfortunate situations.”

Those times made you feel less than human for being a part of it. And it was the main reason why you’d gotten the courage to quit Vought and join Supe Affairs in the first place…

You frowned at the trail of your thoughts, but his voice soon jolted you out of them.

“Ain’t this a bitch,” said Ben. “If you could, you’d want me dead. Even though I saved you.” 

Your lips pursed. “Dead is a strong word.” 

His angry gaze on you was unrelenting.

“Asleep is as good as dead for me.”

You stared back at him in resignation. Fair enough.

You couldn’t refute that, but you also didn’t know what he wanted from you. He was implying that he wanted you not to hate him, but he wasn’t willing to let you go either.

You got up to put your spoon in the sink, mostly so you wouldn’t have to look at him anymore.

Ben rose from his seat. You felt him approach from behind. You still tensed up as his arm reached around your form to drop in his own spoon. His arm withdrew, but he stood just behind you, at your side. His hand curled around the edge of the counter.

Letting out a discreet, steadying breath, you turned towards him and met his assessing gaze…but you soon looked away.

It was too much. He was too much. Even his musky cologne was invading your senses, threatening to cloud your judgment.  

Before you could back away, Ben grasped your chin, tilting your face up to him so you couldn’t hide. He heard your pulse picking up with his sensitive ears.

“Well, well. Your heart’s just racing away, baby doll,” he said.

He smirked at the blush rising in your cheeks, despite your defiant gaze. You might’ve said you wanted to put him to sleep, but you definitely didn’t seem to hate him. 

“You know, that offer’s still on the table,” he said. Your brow quirked, and you crossed your arms.

“What offer?”

Ben’s hand slid along to frame your jawline, his thumb sweeping across your reddened cheek.

“I can help you end that little dry spell of yours,” he drawled. “Calm that pretty head and have you sleeping soundly tonight.”

Oh, he’d help you fucking sleep, he thought.

He’d help you not be able to sit on that perfect ass for a week. He’d gladly work you up with fingers, lips, and tongue until you threatened to fucking drown him. Until you were writhing at his touch and singing just for him. Until you begged him to fuck you.

But you just rolled your eyes at his offer with a huff. Maybe you didn’t believe he was serious. Oh, but he fucking was.

Overall, you were a pain in his ass. And you had been from the beginning.

You had a dangerously smart mouth for a woman. Along with a stubborn streak to rival his, and a strangely self-righteous attitude for someone who’d mucked through the bowels of Vought and played a part in that world, just like him. You weren’t so fucking innocent either.

But he could also see that you were trying to be different. You had a conscience. A family and friends and a lot of other things that Ben didn’t have anymore. And maybe never had to begin with…

You claimed to want to bring him down, but you cooked for him, hung out with him, and he could start to believe that you actually enjoyed his company, rather than pretended for self-preservation’s sake.

You were a fucking conundrum that he couldn’t totally figure out. And all the while, you didn’t seem to realize how much of a temptation you were. 

It didn’t matter if it was that sexy red dress at the club or these plain-ass jeans you were wearing. His hands itched to mold to your curves, squeeze and tease and familiarize himself until he could find out how glorious it would be to damn near suffocate between your thighs.

Your pretty blush, however, was spreading down your neck. Ben wondered how far he could make it go as he glanced down your V-neck top. His smile edged into a grin.

“I’ll admit, maybe I haven’t been the best host,” he said, injecting some charm. “You gotta be bored as all hell by now.”

You swallowed as his hand moved down the side of your neck. His fingers slid into your hair, but he kept the smooth pad of his thumb brushing across your cheek. You didn’t want to admit that it felt nice—and electrifying at the same time.

His touch was raising goosebumps down the back of your neck, tingling down your spine.

“You might be projecting,” you managed to quip. “Is the conveyor belt of prostitutes and drugs finally losing its appeal?”

You studied his face, his smirk, and you had a feeling you had deduced correctly: he was bored too. But now you knew why he didn’t want you to hate him.

He just wanted to fuck you.

That thought wasn’t so surprising. It seemed this man could jump into bed with just about anything with a pulse. But it still made a tendril of heat lick up your spine and your face flush.

You should’ve just pushed him away already…but his nearness was mucking up your good sense.

The truth was, you weren’t afraid of him. Not anymore. And maybe you didn’t hate him.

Maybe…

“Well, what’s it gonna be?” he asked you.

Your lips parted, halting on a reply.

Ben smirked. His hand tightened in your hair, and he finally began to lean down.

But your breath hitched. You instinctively pressed your hands against his chest before he could kiss you, a firm push.

“Ben,” you uttered.

He stopped, looking down at you with knitted brows. He just thought you were being stubborn now, a fucking tease even…

Until he saw the frisson of fear in your eyes.

He quirked a resigned smile. Stroking your cheek one last time, he let you go.

“All right,” he said. “Maybe next time.”

Your heart was hammering like a Phil Collins drum solo inside your chest as you made your way back to your room.

What the hell, what the hell.

He’d teased and flirted with you before, but not like this. It wasn’t totally obnoxious or disgusting, like he’d genuinely been trying to persuade you. He’d even looked disappointed when you stopped him. And he’d allowed you to stop him.

(And you resisted a shudder at the contrasting memory of Antonio.)

When you were back in your room, you released a relieved sigh. Your hands trembled on the doorknob.

But it wasn’t fear that’d made you nervous with Ben. Not exactly. It was the insane part of you that actually wanted to take him up on his offer.

Fuck, you thought, raising a palm to your still-warm forehead. I really must be crazy. Or sick. Sick in the head.

Or it had been a stupidly long time since you’d gotten laid.

“Seriously, tell me,” he’d said once, still with a deceptively light grip on your chin. The pad of his thumb brushed your full lower lip, making your breath hitch. He glanced down at your mouth, then back into your eyes.

“How fucking long’s it been since that pretty pussy’s been touched? ‘Cause in my opinion, that’s a damn shame.”

The memory caused a delicate tingle in your lower belly, pulsing between your legs. You took in a deep, calming breath through your nose.

That’s it, you thought. I’m done with this.

So you tried for a cold shower first. For the record, you locked the bathroom door before you undressed and hopped into the shower. As the water beat against your back and you dutifully lathered soap on your skin, you couldn’t help imagining his heavy hands running over your body.

Fuck. You frowned and quickly dragged yourself out of the shower.

For a few minutes, you were too antsy to get dressed. You paced your small room wearing only a towel, not even thinking really. Just frustrated beyond belief (sexually or otherwise). The truth was, you needed something, or you were going to implode. 

With a heavy sigh, you laid in bed on your side, still wrapped in your towel. You wrapped your hair up in a loose bun and closed your eyes, just taking a few moments to breathe evenly.

Your knees were folded up, almost to your chest. But you relaxed and let your thighs fall open. With a tentative hand, you decided to slide up between your thighs, just teasing the seam of your pussy.

Then with a sigh, you delved between your folds and teased yourself, to start with. Warmth grew in your lower belly, and you sighed louder when you slid a finger inside. You were wet already just with this, and your sighs turned to shallow breaths, and even a moan once heat flooded through your core, and you were getting close…

But a knock at the door just had to startle you.

“Hey, sweetheart. You there?”

Your eyes widened with a gasp, and you moved your hand back to your thigh. Oh shit.

It was Ben. Of course it was fucking Ben.

“Ah, w-wait a minute,” you replied. You scrambled out of bed to lock the door before he tried to come in.

But just your luck, he cracked it open just as you got there. You were met with his handsome face.

His brows rose, his lips then curving when he looked down at you. Or more specifically, you clad in only a towel. You tightened it up on reflex, with a hand on the twisted part at your chest.

“Excuse me,” you said in annoyance. “I don’t remember inviting you in.”

His mouth twitched at a deeper grin.

“It’s nothing major. I just had to ask you something,” he said, with an air of nonchalance that only made you suspicious.

Your lips pressed together as you rose an expectant brow.

“Okay, ask,” you said.

Ben reached for your hand, the one holding your towel together.

“Can I see this hand?”

You yelped and secured the towel with your other hand while he examined the one he held.

“What’s your problem?” you asked, with real irritation now. Ben ignored you in favor of staring at your hand, specifically the pads of your fingers. Then his gaze cut to you slyly.

He held your middle and index finger up to his nose, with an obscene inhale.

Your eyes grew wide as your heart stuttered. He did not just…

And Ben smirked.

“I think you’re the one with the fucking problem,” he said knowingly. He took a step forward, but you stepped back. Unfortunately, that just brought your back against the doorframe. Your mouth went dry when you again looked up at him.

“I don’t know what—”

He stopped you before you could deny it further.

“You think I couldn’t fucking hear you?” he asked.

You bit your lip. Oh God.

His brows ran even higher, his smirk ever deeper. His lust-ridden eyes raked over you, but they soon met yours again. His thumb ran down the inside of your wrist, over your quickening pulse point.

“I know you’re frustrated. It’s been a while, huh?” he said. “Believe me, I know the fucking feeling. But I can take care of that little problem for you. Take care of you.”

You took in a tremulous breath. His heady voice was a curse, reverberating through your chest and running straight down between your legs, warm and pulsing. He raised your chin to make you look up at him.

“You don’t have to like me for that, do you?” he asked.

It was as honest an offer as you were ever going to get. You had to give it to him though, in this, he was a good goddamn actor. He seemed to have figured out exactly what it would take to soften your resolve.

In fact, he fucking crumbled it.

You released a shuddering breath, and tugged him into your room by his shirt. With a hand behind his neck, you pulled him down into your hungry lips.

That kiss was warm and heady, fueled with a passion that only waiting and wanting could create.

Ben took the invitation to heart, grabbing your hips and already bunching the fabric of your towel. It was thin, and he felt the soft give of your curves underneath. He hoisted you up into his arms.

While a normal man might’ve struggled, you knew it was effortless for him. You willingly wrapped your legs around his waist and held his face with both hands. You broke the kiss for a second so you could brush his hair back and made sure he looked into your eyes this time.

“I don’t hate you,” you told him between panting breaths. “I should, but I don’t.”

And that was the God’s honest truth.

Ben paused at that. He roamed your face, maybe judging if he believed you or not.

Then, his mouth curved, and with one hand he reached back to slam your bedroom door shut. It shook on its hinges, but he didn’t wait for it to settle as he walked you to the bed and laid you there beneath him. Your hair fell out of its messy bun and fanned out on the pillow.

Ben gazed down at you, enjoying the sight of you all laid out for him. You were already breathing shallowly, your beautiful eyes bright with anticipation and wild desire. They were honest, and he liked that he finally knew what you were thinking.

He claimed a tight grip on your smooth thighs, parting them so he could find his way in between. He moved his way up to claim your lips next. They were plush and pliant under his.

You sighed against his mouth, diving a hand into his soft hair and running a hand down to the buttons of his shirt. He stopped you and all but tore it off himself.

You blinked in surprise, and then giggled a little at his impatience. But it allowed you to explore the new expanse of golden tan skin, down his neck, over his firm chest and muscular arms.

He relished in it for a moment—your touch. Your hands were soft and warm, and you looked to be genuinely enjoying yourself.

He smirked at that, but he grabbed your wrists before they could venture too much farther than the trail of hair leading below his belt. He trapped them against the bed on either side of your head, and you raised your brows at him with an annoyed little frown. Ben had to chuckle.

“Did I say you could touch me yet?” he said. You met him with a challenging tilt of your chin.

“Who says you get to make all the rules?” you asked. Your calf slid up between his legs, brushing insistently against his already rock-hard length. Ben let out something between a grunt and a moan, and didn’t realize that his grip on your arms was starting to get more than bruising.

You winced, with a pained sound caught in your throat. “Ben, you’re gonna break me.”

He amended his grip immediately, frowning at himself. He knew how to control his goddamn strength, even in moments like this (usually). Maybe he was too fucking excited to finally have you beneath him.

But he soothed his thumbs over your wrists and heeded the tug of your hands down to your waiting kiss. He braced an arm above your head and all but devoured you, slipping his tongue past your lips.

He kissed you like a man starving. Like you’d never been kissed in your life, and it was all you could to keep up with his demands.

Eventually he burned a wet trail from your lips to your jaw, down the column of your neck. He inhaled your floral soap, a scent that had been driving him crazy for days.

He sucked hard behind your ear, and you gasped, thought you were going to see stars.

Unconsciously you gripped at his hair, tugging more harshly than you meant to. But by the pleased sound he made against your skin, you figured he didn’t mind.

Ben soothed a heavy hand up your side and reached between you to untie your flimsy towel. And you let out a slightly shaky breath when he took in your fully naked form for the first time.

“Hmm,” his lips slipped into a grin. “I knew it. Fucking beautiful.”

You couldn’t help but blush, but you didn’t quite know what to say. Ben noticed; it wasn’t too often that he had you speechless.

Amused, he thumbed at your lower lip once more, making you smile almost shyly. (He kind of liked that too.)

And he finally touched you, brushing a hand between the valley of your breasts before palming at one of them. You sighed in appreciation, then moaned as his lips found the other one, his tongue swirling languidly around your nipple.

You arched into his touch, gripped into every groove and dip of muscle in his arms, especially when his fingers rolled and pinched just hard enough on the other nipple.

Your thighs pressed together between the cage of his legs, trying to find friction.

Ben noticed. He let one hand sooth down your belly, half pinning you down as he continued his relentless exploration. You wanted to touch him too, but right now he wasn’t letting up. Everywhere he touched and kissed and sucked set your skin on fire, and enhanced the flood between your legs.

“Ben,” you panted into his ear. If you weren’t allowed to find out what he liked yet (though you had several ideas), then you wanted him to touch you. 

“Be fucking patient,” he said with a chuckle. “I know what the fuck I’m doing.”

You had no doubt of that. But you were becoming impatient.

“Yeah? Am I gonna be as old as you before we get to it?” you teased. Ben glanced up at you, but seeing your smirk, his own grew.

“All right you little shit,” he muttered. He moved up to claim your smart-ass lips, swallowing your giggle as he took a firm grip of your hair.

His other hand, meanwhile, slid up the back of your thigh to grip a nice handful of your ass. He ground his clothed dick into your core and made you both moan.

He slipped a hand up the inside of your thigh and brushed between your legs, making you quiver with anticipation.

He smiled and glanced down.

“Finally, something I recognize in this century,” he remarked. “A nice bush.”

Your brows raised high, both in surprise and slight embarrassment. No one had ever given you that particular compliment before. But you did pride yourself on being neatly trimmed.

“What?” you still uttered.

“Women are so damn waxed nowadays. Feels like I’m fucking a mannequin,” he said.

“Oh, yeah.” You giggled as something occurred to you. “I’m assuming you encountered some bare landing strips on your tour of Brazil.”

He snorted in response. “One girl actually tried to get me on the waxing table. Something about a ‘manzilian.’”

You couldn’t help it. You pictured how confused he must’ve been at that particular offer. How damn near offended (and possibly intrigued).

And you laughed genuinely so hard that you covered your eyes as they teared up.

It made Ben smirk on reflex, feeling pleased that he achieved that kind of reaction out of you. 

“You tapped out on that one, huh?” you asked, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye.

Ben shrugged. “Wasn’t so bad, actually.”

At that, you laughed even harder. Oh, how you wished you could’ve seen that. 

Ben quirked an amused brow at you.

“You laughin’ at me, sweetheart?” he warned. He reached between your legs while you were distracted, and thick fingers slipped between your wet folds. You yelped in surprise, but then moaned in pleasure as his thumb found your already sensitive clit.

But he, in fact, knew how to take care of you. His thick digits explored your channel and rubbed persistently against that spongey part near the back, slipping in and out with ease, and circling deliberately around your clit until your inner walls squeezed around his hand.

All the while, you held on tight to his shoulders and shuddered at the warmth cresting deep inside you.

“That’s it, baby,” he said, with a clenching hand in your hair. “Squeeze the shit out of me. Come all over my fucking hand, and then I’ll consider filling you up to the fucking brim.”

With a long and keening moan, you came apart, hot and wet over his fingers. 

“Shit. That’s a good girl,” he praised with a nod. He stroked inside you a couple more times before he withdrew his glistening hand.

You held onto his other one as you panted for breath. “Fuck.”

“Fucking right,” he said smugly.

You rolled your eyes, but you still smiled as you sat up and went for his belt. You were surprised he hadn’t fully undressed himself sooner, but he sat up and let you do it.

The two of you knelt on the bed as the belt came free, followed by his pants and underwear and socks (he’d long ago kicked off the shoes). His smug smirk came back now that he was in his full glory, so to speak.

Another blush heated your face. You’d seen him like this once before, but there had been…a lot going on that time.

This time you had him all to yourself. Your canvas to explore. You started with kisses down his neck, like he’d done to you, biting and sucking though you couldn’t leave any marks on his skin.

Not fair, you thought in disappointment, but at least you were eliciting some pleased and guttural sounds the further down you went. And then you took his hard, velvety cock in your hands.

He was big enough that you were maybe a little concerned, but not enough to deter you as you teased him with your soft hands, then squeezed and caressed experimentally. He gripped your hips tight.

“Now who’s taking a fucking eternity,” he gritted out. He encouraged you to lie back and raised your hips. You found purchase on his shoulders as your eyes met with his, and after a beat, you smiled and gave a short nod.

Ben aligned himself at your entrance and, slowly as he could manage, pushed inside you. You cried out as he stretched you, filled you deep and bottoming out with mangled moans from both of you.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “You feel so fucking good already.”

You managed to smile and run a hand down his chest. “Uh, you didn’t ask, but I am on birth control.”

His brows furrowed in realization. “What, the fucking pill?”

His team certainly hadn’t supplied you with that for the past month.

You shook your head. “No. An IUD. It’s fine.”

You couldn’t believe you two were having this conversation when he was literally inside you already.

“What? Thought those died out in the 70s,” he said.

“Well, they came back,” you said impatiently. “Just fuck me, Ben!”

Not one to be told twice, Ben continued by slowly pulling out of you, nearly the entire length of his cock, before pushing back in. It was torturous for him, but he knew you needed the time to adjust. By the third stroke, however, he snapped back into you more forcefully.

It elicited a gasp and pleased shudder out of you. Grinning, he picked up the pace from there and pounded into you at a relentless clip. You held onto his arms for dear life, your nails clawing fruitlessly into his skin. You grabbed his hand when he reached a particularly good angle, moaning his name.

“That’s right, crooner. Soon enough I’ll have you singing my fucking name,” he growled. “Knew I was gonna have you just like this, fucking you raw.”

You moaned in response. His words, his voice, his touch, it was all breaking you down and taking you apart, piece by piece.

Meanwhile, your voice only spurred him on. Letting go of your hand, his reached for your cheek. Then it slid down to your neck.

“You got a safe word, baby girl?” he asked, closing a firm, but playful hand around your throat.

But before he could put much pressure, your eyes flew open. Not in arousal, but in panic. Your hands flew to grasp at his wrist.

“Don’t! Please, don’t.” 

Ben looked down at you, surprised enough to pause in all his movements. He released his hand.

He’d very rarely seen wide-eyed panic in your eyes and in your voice. And you’d never said please. 

But then, even more strange, you got embarrassed.

You looked away from him as you caught your breath. Ben called to you uncertainly, perhaps for the first time using your actual name.

You took in a deep breath and sat up. But instead of pushing him away, like he half-expected, you moved so that you were both on your knees and you were straddling his lap.

Using his shoulders as leverage, you resumed the pace of dipping his still hard cock inside you, making you both groan in relief.

Ben helped you, gripping your hips to bounce you on top of him.

Soon enough, he grunted as that familiar tightening and heat of pleasure started to make his upward thrusts wild. He knew he was close…

And he snaked a hand between you to roll over your clit, making sure you were going to get there with him.

A deep tremble went through your lower belly, tightening your inner walls around him impossibly tight as you started to come. Then he followed, finally spilling up and into you.

His arms came around your waist like steel bands as you relaxed on top of him, panting for breath and holding onto his shoulders for dear life.

You gazed down into his eyes, and then his growing, triumphant smirk. It triggered your own wry smile.

And you had to wonder, What the hell did I just do?

AN: Was it as good for you as it was for me? 😏

But ok, seriously, I'm a bit self-conscious when it comes to writing smut, so I genuinely hope you enjoyed the ride lol.

(@waynes-multiverse You probably won't see this for a while, but our convo about the Brazilian wax made it into this chapter. 🤣)

Special Feature:

Check out this lovely moodboard created by @chernayawidow — specifically for this story!

I am obsessed:

She also takes requests, so just message her!

Next time:

You called his name again and took his face with both hands.

“Wherever you are in your mind right now, you’re here with me. Stay with me!” you raised your voice. His skin was getting really hot.

You gasped and had to let go of him when it threatened to burn you. His chest started to glow and hum. Your eyes widened, and finally, so did his.

Keep Reading: PART 8

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[allkordelia]

Friends...to Lovers?

The sea dragon sigh throwing down her stuff on the floor before landing face first into her soft mattress, she been gone at sea for a year and half with her uncle sailing. They went to many places in westeros and essos starting with Lannisport and finishing with Lys, a exciting journey for the girl it took her ages to convince her parents to let her go but after a lot of begging and many promises later they allowed her to go and help with the trade.

Her time out at sea surprised her, she spent more time in the air than in sea but somehow her father's blood truely ran deep in her, it felt natural as she assist around the ship Sea Snake and help her uncle navigate and sail. While on her journey, she meet a lot of people during her time in the free cities and saw many famous structures the whole trip made her get a itch to explore more, which made her explore each continent with a brothel just out of curiosity to see the difference from the ones in king's landing. The ones that daemon took her to when they return to king's landing were pallid and dry from the fake moaning and overdramatic screaming were funny but disconcerting, she told him that after he was finished with one of his lady friends.

~

She watched as daemon walked out from behind the thin sheet that didn't really hide what they were doing along with two girls who had a satisfied smiles on their face, he put on his tunic and took a seat on the other side of the table before pouring himself a glass of mead.

"Enjoying yourself, cousin. I can always ask the madam to send a man or woman to keep you company." She let out a laugh putting the mead she been nursing for quite some time to her lips.

"Again I say no thank you, only here to observe and take in." He chuckled leaning against his chair watching the naked woman walk or dance around.

"And what are your foundings, cousin." He asked moving his cup to his mouth.

"Well, from only being here for few hours I have come to conclude that these men are shit at fucking." She watched with a wide smile as daemon spit out his mead and laughed, and she couldn't help but join him.

"How can you possible know that?"

"For one, the fake moans and overdramatic cries of pleasure these women sprout from their mouth gave it away, and the unsatisfied looks once they walked out." Daemon chuckled again shaking his head.

"I doubt that it matters just as long they getting paid good." She hummed in respose with a look.

"I guess, but if it was me I would want more money for putting in so much work pleasuring you only to get unsatisfied." She said with giggle, daemon looked at her with eyeroll and soft scoff.

"What would abstient little thing like yourself know about pleasuring a man." She didn't say anything to that making daemon look at her, she rolled her lips inward as she looked straight.

"Tell me it isn't so the daughter of the sea snake lost her purity." He whispered making her roll her eyes.

"Who was he?" He asked curious with a small grin, "...and give details did you suck his cock or just got right to fucking." She looked at him.

"No, but he was gladly to go down on me before we did it." She smiled widely making daemon eyes widen.

"A man with good taste..." he looked at her with flirtatious eyes making her shake her head, "...and who knows what he likes sounds like me...I like him." He says putting his cup to his lips, when he said that she made a noise causing him raised his brow at her.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew who is was." He gave her a look before answering.

"Is it that dornish prick, ser whatchamacallit caspian because if it is your dead to me." He pointed a finger at her making her giggle.

"No and it's not the very handsome ser criston cole, but the son of someone you despise." He was thinking of the person's he might be talking about but it didn't stick.

"I despise a lot of people fathers you have to be more specific, love." She sighed exasperating picking her cup again.

"Ser Gwayne. It was ser gwayne." She said before downing the rest of her mead, she glanced over at daemon wore a blank look.

"You fucked that slimy cunt's son have you no dignity." She sucked her teeth as he overreact.

"Fuck off, daemon. Gwayne is sweet and gently and very good with his tongue." Daemon groaned displeased at what he was hearing.

"Great. You just ruined my evening." She chuckled as she watch him pour more mead in his and her cup, as he pulled out small bag the tall curvy red red hair madam walked up to their table.

" Leaving so soon my prince, mysaria would be displease to see her favorite customer gone so soon." The madam said.

"She'll get over it." He says nonchalantly dropping a couple of coins on the table, the madam hummed before turning her head towards the sea dragon.

"I never seen you around here before, new?" The young girl looked up a bit taken back at the woman attention on her, the sea dragon nodded as she averted her eyes down. Unknowingly to the woman but the young girl was dressed like lad so she can walk the streets of fleabottom without being notice by guards.

"Have you ever been in a brothel before, my lord?" The young woman shook her head no.

"Well, your always welcome back any friend of daemons is a friend of ours," the madam hand landed on the woman thigh making sea dragon go wide eye, "...and because your so cute I'll be happy to be your first...on the house." The madam winked making the young sea dragon opened and close her mouth speechless.

"...my cousin will love to but it's past his bedtime." Daemon said standing up making her follow suit.

"Maybe another time." The madam smiled pecking the sea dragon on the cheek before walking away, the young woman glanced at daemon stunned making him laugh and pull her out of the brothel.

"You know you should do it, I promise I won't tell." He leaned his body against hers making her smile and shrugged him off.

"So, same time tomorrow." He ask as they turn a corner down an alley, the young woman shook her head.

"I can't I'm leaving with my uncle tomorrow." He stopped as she turned to him.

"Where?" She shrugged.

"No idea. He is taking me on my first voyage, which leads me to ask if you can watch over Elixia. I can't really take her with me." She gave him a tight smile he leaned against the wall next to her with small smile.

"You won't last a day at sea, you belong in the air...with me." He said looking at her making her roll your eyes.

"Do I now?" He nods before towering over her, the young serpent didn't look a bit taken as she raised her brow.

"I love you." He whispered making her smile.

"Love you too, buddy." She patted his chest before moving out from under him and walking away, daemon looked after her with a smirk. He hurried after her putting his arm around her shoulder pulling her close to his side as she giggles and put her arm around his waist, they both walked the streets of fleabottom laughing all the way to the castle.

~

She opened her eyes at the thought of daemon she wondered what he was doing at this moment, the door to her chambers were opened she didn't move to see who it was only hearing their voice.

"My darling?" The voice of her mother rang their her chambers making the girl shift and look at the door, a confused and unsure looked plastered her mother's face caauing her to sit up.

"Yes, mama. Is everything okay?"

"You tell me, prince daemon targaryen is in the courtyard summoning your presents." She furrowed her brows she been back for only an hour and he already knew she was home.

"I'll be there in a minute let me just close my eyes for few more seconds...." she close her eyes laying back down on her bed snuggling into her pillow, her mother stared at her for a minute before coming into the room.

"You been spending a lot of time with the rogue prince,"

"He is my friend and has been for a while now, he likes my company and I like his." she heard her mother make a noise.

"I hope you mean in a talking and dragonriding way." The young woman rolled her eyes under eyelids.

"Of course, mother and I told you what happened with ser gwayne out of respect. Do you think I am that stupid to do it again with daemon no less."

"Watch your tone with me, young lady. I know you are smarter than that and I trust you to make good decisions, it's daemon I do not trust." Her mother said.

"We all know the rumors. What he spend most of his time doing in fleabottom or silk street, and how he likes bedding lord's daughters and...his temper." Her mother sounded a bit scared making the young girl frown a bit.

"I know, mother. But, daemon is my friend he wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She heard her mother sigh before feeling the back of her mother's hand caress her cheek.

"I hope your right, but be cautious my love he is like a untamed dragon beautiful and magnificent from afar, but if you get too close he might burn you." She opened her eyes to look at her mother before the princess leans down to kiss her daughter's head.

"Do not be too long, my darling." Her mother said before leaving her alone to think about her words.

~

She walked out the castle to see daemon was looking up at the sky as the sun shined upon him, he looked different his hair was short and he wore a crown on his head.

"Does my eyes deceives me or is that daemon targaryen?" She spoke loudly with a wide smile catching his attention, he saw her and laughed jogged up to her. He picked her up as she wrapped her arms around his neck before he spin them around making her laugh, he finally put her down holding her at arms length to look at her.

"May, may have you changed." His eyes roamed over her features and body taking her in she gently shook her head, the only thing that changed was her hair no longer being its wild hair was now short length dreaded like the males in her family.

"I can say the same to you, nice hair cut by the way." She touch his silk hair that was sticking out from the crown making him swat it away.

"So, what have you been up to while I was away." She asked hinting at the driftwood crown that sat upon his head, he smiled with a look of triumph he opening his arms.

"You are now standing in the present of the king of the stepstones and narrow sea." She covered her mouth her hand trying to cover her smile.

"I can't belive it."

"Believe it. Now all I need is a queen by my side to rule." He says moving hands to her waist gently squeezing them, she hummed with a small smirk as he leaned his head against hers. She could tell that something caught his eye as he looked back to her.

"Your parents are watching us, I wonder what will happen if I kiss you right now."

"My mother would probably have you killed or she do it herself." She giggled feeling his hands snake behind her to her lower back just above her backside.

"One way to found out." He moved his head to the side to capture her lips only to be meet with her soft cheek.

"Nice try." He made a noise before giving her a firm peck against her cheek before pulling away.

"Is there somewhere we can go without prying eyes." He said looking over her shoulder she turned to see her father back to them trying to talk to his wife as she stared at them with narrow eyes, the young woman turned to daemon again nodding moving to grab his arm walking them out of the courtyard.

~

"So, how was your journey." Daemon asked as they walked the shores of diftmark, the tough woman turned to him with a pleasant smile.

"It was great met a lot of people even sailed a bit. Got to travel around the free cities visited some brothels and brought some treasure back as well." Daemon chuckled looking at her as she talk.

"Sounds like you had fun." She looked over at him with a pleased smile.

"I did...pity that it's over now and I'm back here in my prison waiting my sentence to be married." She said a bit bitter as they took a seat on a large diftwood tree trunk.

"Have your father and mother already found you a suitor?" He asked a bit tense.

"They have three house they wish to marry me into the arryns, the tully, and the starks. I'm kinda hoping for house starks just because I wish to see the snowfall." She chuckled as daemon didn't found what she said amusing.

"Why waste your time with some piss poor lord of winter, when you can marry me." She rolled her eyes ignoring his words as she played with a stick.

"Firstly, the starks are one of the most respected houses in westeros and secondly, my mother isn't your biggest supporter at the moment sooo..." she shrugged with pursed lips as she used the stick to draw on the sand.

"Well, your father likes me shouldn't that be enough." She snorted.

"No, I need both of my parents to like you or a good enough reason to marry you to put to rest that I'm in safe hands for my mother's sake." He looked at her with a look.

"What does that suppose to mean?" He asked offended.

"Nothing, it's just that my mother knows about your bad habits and she worries that I may get hurt." She heard him scoff as her eyes were still trained on the sand and her drawing.

"I beat a messager to bloody pulp out of anger one time...his fine now." He under his breathe uncaring making her look at her.

"I was talking about the whores, I didn't know about that." She said looking at him a bit alarmed, she knew he had a tendency to lash out but since she been with him she only saw it at the tourney years ago, but that was before they were friends and haven't seen a outburst of violence from him since.

"It doesn't matter now it was a stressful time during the war, and you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." He looked at her with warmth making her turn her head back to sandy ground.

"I know." She mumbled, he looks at her.

"Why do you do that?"

"What?" She asked not looking at him.

"Look away. When I show any sign of affection you turn away, why." She stop for a moment before going back to drawing.

"I don't know, I guess I'm not use to your affectionate looks." She heard him sigh.

"That's a lie."

"How so?" She said stopping what she was doing and looking at him.

"Because I been looking at you like that since dorne." She gave him eyeroll not believing his words.

"You call eye fucking me affectionate." He nodded.

"In my head, yes." She hummed shaking her head slightly, they sat there for a minute in silence when daemon moved closer to her before grabbing her hand and holding them in his lap.

"I love you." He said looking down at her hands.

"I love you, too."

"Enough to marry me." She sigh tilting her head to the side.

"Maybe. I don't know I just don't want you to hurt me" She said gently, daemon looked hurt at her response.

"You know I would never–"

"I mean emotionally, daemon. I do not wish to hear rumors of you in brothels well I'm stuck in some castle waiting for you or worst...pregnant and all alone." He looked at her before letting go of her hand and standing in front of her, she watched as he took off his crown and placed it on her head.

"I, daemon targaryen, stand here in front of the beautiful sea dragon asking her to be my wife...my queen." He gets down on one knee making her look at him, "I have felt nothing but emptiness since you been gone, my love. All I wish was for you to come back to me. All I ever dreamed about was you."

"I will give up everything for you the crown, the whores, I would even throw the iron throne into the narrow sea if you ask me too." the woman kept her eyes on daemon as he speak feeling tears well up, " ...because when I'm with you I don't feel like the rogue prince...I don't feel bored or angry all the time, you make me feel like daemon...just daemon...your friend and my soul mate." As he grabbed her hand she closed her eyes trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Will you marry me?" She opened her eyes looking down at the cold metal around her finger, she gasped slightly at the silver moonstone ring on her hand.

"Do you like it?" He asked watching her closely.

" I fucking love it..." she glanced at me him as he smiled, "...and I love you, issa jorrāelagon." She grabbed his cheeks pulling him into a kiss, he put his hands over hers deepen the kiss.

"You still didn't answer my proposal." He said against her lips, he didn't want to pull apart yet been waiting a year and half to do this.

"The answer is yes, dummy." She said back, he pulled her up to her feet holding on to her waist still kissing her.

Daemon couldn't resist as he put her over his shoulder making her laugh, she held on to the crown on her head as he look around for a spot for them to lay down. He walked up the sand dune before putting her down, she grabbed him by the collar of his leather black vest armor pulling in for another kiss before pushing down on the beachgrass and straddling him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders making him do the same to her waist, they kiss each other roughly passionate as they bite and suck on each other lips causing the other to moan. Her hand snaked into his hand pulling it slighly causing him to moan lowly she did it again but this time she pulled it roughly tilting his head up causing him to grunt in pleasure and pain, unknowingly to him the sea serpent he love so much had started to unbuttoning his pants as her lips brushed against his cheek towards his ear.

"...break my heart, targaryen. I'll carve out your own." She whispered before her lips attach to his neck causing to him to grow hard.

"No better way to die but by the hand of the woman I love." He finally said back making her hummed in respose, daemon's hand went up her gown his thumb brushing over her sweet spot repeatedly making her loosen her on his hair. He flipped them so she was on her back and he was hovering over her, she groan and laugh at the same time from the special and impact.

"I let you do that..." he chuckled bending pecking her lips.

"Sure you did, my princess."

~

Daemon was on his side thrust slowly inside his lover from behind, the woman whimper pushing her hips back against him as he fucks her gently. It was mid morning when daemon woke up to found his lover in the mood for a quick fuck, before he had to get ready for the tourney.

"Ah, daemon..." she moaned grabbing his hand as it rest on her waist as he fucks her through her orgasm, daemon panted coming soon after making him lay slump next to her.

He pulled out making her whine from the lost before he rolled out of bed naked, the woman turned her head watching her lover walk over to the table to pour him some mead. She smiled observing him like this she founds him very sexy when his all covered in sweat it makes him look mystical in the sunlight, she shifted onto her back sitting up against the headboard as she continued to admire his beauty.

She linked her hands togther as her thumb rub over her ring that he gave her nearly a year ago, it amazed her how long its been since their wedding. All she could remember is being nervous thoughtout the whole ceremony even though it wasn't a big wedding more small with only house velaryon to witness it, daemon didn't wish to go back to king's landing so soon and see his brother making her question his reasoning on the quick proposal. He was very quick to dismiss it saying he wasn't ready to go back to king's landing just yet as the man they once knew, but as a husband and king with her by his side to show them how much he changed. After reassuring her about his commitment towards her made the wedding less scary then, and not soon enough was time for their consummation which they didn't waste time in undressing and dropping into bed. She and daemon soon left Diftmark traveling to Dragonstone to reside until he further notice, but after weeks of staying their daemon and her found out some interesting things.

~

Daemon was walking back to his chambers to fetch his wife when he saw walking down the opposite hall with a vacant look, "My love, are you okay?" He asked, she looked over at him in surpised before giving him a questionable look.

"What?"

"I said are you okay." She made 'oh' look before nodding.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just deep in my thoughts." She said dismissively daemon squinted at her but let it go for now before telling her he had something to show her, and grabbed her hand pulling her all the way to the hatchery. When they finally got there he left her to look for the maester about the surpised, as she waited and looked around she felt a sudden pull making her turn around in a circle before seeing a dragon egg nesting. She tilted her head to the side as she walked up it, she couldn't help but place her hands on upon it feeling it's warmth she notice egg was seaweed green with currant red fleckers.

"It looks like you found Elixia and Caraxes's hatchling, m'lady." The maester says from behind her she turned to see daemon with grin on his face as walk to your side, she looked back at the egg in astonishment before turning your gaze to daemon who picked up the egg and held it close to his chest like a baby.

"Do you know what this mean,issa jorrāelagon." He asked looking at her taking a step closer. (my love)

"What does it mean, my dear." She asked already knowing what he was about to say because was saying it herself.

"We may be getting a child...a heir...our son." He whispered the last words with a pleased look, the sea dragon had a watery smile as she held out her hand making smile and grab it before place it against her stomach.

"It looks like we don't have to wait too long for him, my love." Daemon didn't move his hand from her stomach as he try to register what she said, he finally looked at her before pulling her in for a kiss pecking her with all over the face he let out a victorious laugh as he looked down at her belly and rubbed it.

~

She smiles at the memory as her hand was on her swollen belly, she huffed feeling a kick. She called daemon making him pull his shirt over his head quickly before over to you, she grabbed his hand quickly as the baby kicked again they waited a moment before she felt another kicked. Daemon let out a chuckled moving his hand around her belly before kissing it, and got up to stand to kiss her on the lips.

"You look very handsome, husband." He looked over his shoulder smiling at her, he was getting his shoes on before pulling his vest over his shirt.

"Thank you, wife."

"You coming back right when i go into labor?" She asked as she tapped her fingers against her swollen stomach, he had a unsure look but it disappeared when turn to his wife.

"Of course, my love." He came over to her placing a satisfied kiss against her lips.

"One more favor before you leave, my darling." Daemon stood by your bedside with his hand in yours hands, "Please don't try to kill anybody out of respect for our soon to be son." Daemon hmmed.

"I try my best even through that is the best part of the tourney." She rolled his eyes at his bloodlust.

"Just don't kill too many of them." He nodding kissing her knuckles and then capturing her lips for a moment before pulling away.

"I love you, my princess." She smiled against his lips.

"I love you too, my prince." He leaned his head against hers and pulled back, he went over to the door to found septas and female servants behind the door I guess they were waiting for them. He opened the door wider as he stepped inside piling into the room, he eyes roamed over to his wife who looked at them worrisome before looking at daemon, he gave her a couraging smile making her give one back.

"Have fun, my love." She said as the servants started to shift around the pillows on the bed to make her comfy as possible, he gave her a quick and firm nod before walking out he hoped that she forget asking him to come back. He doesn't know if he could take the sounds of her screams as she delivers their child, he never told her this but he had a dream a very nightmarish dream that made him afraid to stand by his wife's side. He knew what happened to his brother's wife after praising the son from his dream he lost both of them a day, but at the time he understood he always thought he could do the same if it meant getting an heir. But, those feelings has changed he fears that the gods will punish him from his past behavior by taking away the only light in his life and so he promised himself he die before putting his wife through that whole ordeal, he even said if he had to choose he would choose her over their unborn child he don't think he can live with the reminder of his choice.

So, when he it was announced that wife went into labour not too long his heart beat inside his chest like a hammer to a stone wall, when the time comes he told his brother if word send for him to return to the castle for the deliverance was to tell them excuses and so viserys did when the first messgaer came to ask for the return of the prince to the castle. At that moment daemon was jousting with a unnamed knight that he didn't give a damn what his name was and won, and eventually had to beat to a bloody pulp after he tried to attack him from behind. As daemon bask in the glory again after another win he smiled as they cheered for him his eyes moved over to viserys, who was talking to the maester he notice something was wrong as they talk with timid before looking over at him with a grim and worried look he glance over at his wife's family to see her mother look upset and her father to look worried as they listen to the conversation. He soon walked out off to get his armour remove he threw his helmet on the ground before hissing at the squire to hurry up before stalking away, he soon runs into his brother and other two members of the council.

"What happened? How is she?" He said in a haste looking at the maester for answers.

"Everything will be explain soon when we get back to your chambers."

"No, I want to know now. Is my wife okay, my child? What? What! I need to know." He said growing agitated making him step towards who stepped back and viserys grabbed his shoulder only for to shove it away.

"Daemon. You need to stay calm and listen to maester mello he knows what he is doing–" Daemon cut off his brother with humorless laugh.

"I doubt that profoundly," he looked over at corlys as he descended walking up over to the group of men.

"My wife and I wish to know how is are our daughter and our grandchild." He said asked firmly looking at the maester with a stern look.

"Like I told the prince–"

"Good thing. I'm not the prince I am her father and demand to know what is happening." He said each word leaving no room for argument, maester sighed exasperating before explaining.

"It seems that the baby been breech, and we're trying to get it turn around." Daemon clenched his fist before walking around them hurrying to the castle, as he tries to get to her his wife's back was against the headboard as she panted as she clenched the bed in pain.

"Where is my husband, is daemon here yet." The servant at the door looked back at the princess.

"I'm sorry, m'lady. But, he is not." She grunted in pain as the septa's hand press down on her belly trying to get the baby to turn, she closed her eyes as she tried not twist and turn in discomfort as she silently pray to The Mother for her child safe passage out of her. She couldn't finish the prayer as the sharpe discomfort that came making her as she clenched the pillow by her side, daemon ran all the way to his chambers before peaking inside the room to see his wife in a puddle of her own blood and sweat making him step back and close his eyes.

He thought he could deal with the scene in front of him since been around a lot bloody body, but when it's the woman you love is hard to watch as she groan in pain. Daemon turned his head hearing footsteps come his way he saw the group of men walking towards him, the maester walked past him inside to check on the his patient.

"I wish someone told me that hardest part of this is seeing the woman you love in pain." Corlys hummed in thought as he stood next to him.

"I remember the day that rhaenys was in labor, no matter where I went I all I could hear is her scream echoing throughout the castle." Daemon looked at him with a reluctant look.

"Ho‐How did you deal with it." He saw a small smile spread across his father-in-law face.

"Against my maester and advisers better judgment, I walked in my chambers even rhaenys thought it wasn't "proper" for me to be there..." Daemon listen to corlys wordd it distracted him from his wife's torturing pain.

"But?"

"...but she changed her mind fairly quickly when it was time for her to push, I sat by her said the whole night and early morning holding her hand and whispering couraging words as she scream and squeeze the life out of my hand." He chuckled making daemon smile a bit.

"And in the end it was all worth it to see my babe born, our sea dragon and my eldest daughter." Corlys says fondly at the memory, maester mello came out of the room making corlys and daemon look his way.

"Good news, prince daemon. The child is no longer breeching and your wife can continue to push." Daemon let out a sigh of relief as corly patted him on the back.

"That's good..." he said about to walk in there when the maester stopped.

"My prince you can't go in there." Daemon looked at mallo with a vacant look.

"Who's going to stop me?" He asked before walking around only the maester following behind him.

"My prince, it's improper for you to be–"

"Fuck improper." He said walking inside seeing his wife covered in sweat, she turned her head to see her husband and smile weakly.

"My beloved you made it." He hurried over to her taking her hand in his own before kissing it.

"I'm sorry I'm late, my queen." He leaned his head against hers making her kiss her eyes in gratitude, but the sweet moment was over when she moaned in pain.

"It's time to push, my m'lady." She started shaking her head afraid she been waiting for this the moment she started her contraction.

"No, no, no, no, no. I'm not ready, daemon-ahhhh." She grabbed daemon's hand as the pain was overwhelming.

"It's alright, my love. I'm right here you can do this..." she shook her head as tears welled up and fell.

"No, I can't... hurt so much...I can't-ahhh..i can't." She whimper as daemon watched her helplessly as he couldn't do anything to stop the pain, he turned towards the door to hiss corly who motion with his head to the bed making daemon catch on. He got up from his knees taking his boots off with one hand before removing his vest and getting behind his wife, she scooted up a bit still in pain before falling back against his chest.

"Hold my hands and you got this if you can take a hit and get back up, you can easily push out this child." He whispered in her ear making her nod as she held both his hands.

"Okay, m'lady. Push!" The septa says, daemon cringe a the loud piercing scream that came from his wife as she pushed, it felt like a eternity when they heard the sounds of the baby wails. The tired mother falled back against her husband chest as her heart hammered in her chest, they took the baby away to get clean not a second later announced the gender.

"It's a girl." Daemon made a hummed noise a bit taken back wasn't expecting that targaryen dreams are usually right, he was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his laugh.

"A girl...its a girl...how lovely." Daemon could help let a chuckle as he was giggling from the pain being over, but her that changed when she gripped his hands again as pain shot through her body again.

"My love, what's wrong? What is it. " She didn't say anything as she sat forward groaning, the septa passed the baby over to the servant girl and walked over to the bed and lifted up his wife's gown.

"There's a another." She said surpised getting back in position as lady velaryon started pushing without thought.

"By the gods, we're having twins." Daemon whispered starstruck, she shouted as she pushed before taking a breather and continuing. Finally, the pain was hopefully over she laid back limp exhausted from all the pushing but she was still alert and heart didn't stop hammering in her chest.

"...daemon...why don't I hear crying." She asked weakly, she try to lift her head to look at him but couldn't found the energy move her head from his chest.

"I-I don't know," he was about moved when she grabbed his forearm causing him to stop, she finally got to move her head to look up at him as he stared at the group of women.

"...don't leave me, please." Daemkn looked down at her pleading eyes as nodded settling down against headboard, he wrapped his arms around her front as he closed his eyes. Daemon never pray in his life for nothing not even when he was in battle, he felt it was useless and that gods didn't care to listen to their devotees pathetic whines and pleads. But, it's seems that he there's a first time for everyone, and seems this was his as he prayed the seven he could hear his wife barely audible prayer to The Mother. Like a miracle, the baby cries out making the ladies surrounded it sigh in relief before announcing its gender.

"It's a boy, your highness." Daemon let out a small sob at the sound of his son, he buried his face in his wife neck trying to hide his face. His wife let out a sigh her hand going to his hair raking it, she heard him sniffled before quickly wiping his eyes and containing himself.

"My sweet prince." She said caressing his cheek with the back of her fingers, he smiled at her.

"Issa gevie ābrazȳrys nyke ȳdra daor gīmigon skorkydoso nyke glaesagon mijegon ao." He said. (I don't know how I'll ever live without you.)

"Nyke ȳdra daor gīmigon skorkydoso nyke glaesagon mijegon ao tolī." She sigh before he kissed her cheek multiple times. (I don't know how I'll live without you too)

"Your grace, do you wish hold your childern now." They looked at the septas who held the twins.

"Yes, please." She said adjusting herself before the septa laid her som into her arms before doing the same with their daughter as daemon held her, the septas and the servants left the couple alone so they can a little family time.

"What should you name them?" He asked as he look from behind to your side, she looked at him with furrowed brows.

"I'm thinking you can name him and I'll name her, I have two good names for my little princess." She smiled looking over at the baby with mop of white hair.

"I think you should name them both, and I can name the next one." He chuckled when she gave him a look.

"Bold of you to think we're having anymore of these little monsters, your not touching me for at least a month." She said jaded looking down at the baby boy who had the same mop of hair like his twin.

"You wouldn't last a week before you come begging me to fuck you."

"Hush you. No cursing in front of the babes the last thing we need is their first words being fuck." He a small smile etched kts way up on his lips.

"Wouldn't that be something, and maybe on the sixteenth name day I can take them out to fleabottom like I did you." She rolled her eyes.

"If you take my childern to that place, I'll have Elixia eat." She gently caressed her baby's head, he watched her with love before he remember.

"I wasn't gonna come back to the room." He confess out of nowhere, she raised a brow at him.

"I was going to stay at the tourney until you were finish, I couldn't handle the screaming but than I talk to corlys and–"

"He told the day i was born and how he sat by my mother the entirely time, yeah he told me that story multiple times as a kid." She said with a small smile.

"I'm sorry." He said, she shook her head.

"It's okay, you came anyway even though it was late you made in time to see the birth of your childern." He hummed smiling at down at them.

"The second best decision I ever made."

"What's the first?" She smiled.

"Fucking you on the beach." She made a urge sound as she rolled her eyes as he chuckled.

"You know what I have decided to name our little prince after my grandfather, Aemon, and name our princess after the woman who birth aegon the conqueror, Valaena."

"I thought you said I could pick." He comments.

"I changed my mind." She gave him a mock smile before glancing down.

"Well, jest on you because I liked them both very likable and brave people to live up to." She nodded turning to her husband.

"We're parents." She said as the realization yet them.

"Yeah, we are..." he smiled as they both leaned in kissing each other.

~

"Daemon get your ass over here, it's hatching." She said placing Valaena in her cradle with her brother.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming." He said walking over to her without a shirt, it been couple of months since the both of the twins and couple days ago since they return home to dragonstone when they decided to put a dragon egg in the cradle.

They were worried since they placed it just six moons ago and it haven't hatched, but now it was happening they watched as the egg shake slightly. The egg cracked revealing two dragons the lady wife gasped softly seeing the two dragon emerged, one was all green with fleckers of red on its body well they other was all red with fleckers of green on his body.

"Have you seen anything like this before." She asked her husband, he shook his head as he stared stunned at them, the green and red one moved closer to the babes making the sea dragon grab her husband hand.

The green dragon looked over at aemon moving towards him lowly with caution as aemon stared at it, the red did the same with valaena making the baby giggle in amusement. They both watched happily as the dragons took a liking to their riders as they spit small fires casuing the babies to squeal, the princess leaned her head on her husband shoulder Watchung with a smile well her laid his cheek on the top her head as they watch their childern bond.

#daemon targaryen x you #daemon targaryen x oc #daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x y/n #daemon targaryen smut #asoiaf #asoif/got #asoif fanfic #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #black!reader #black oc #x black reader #black reader #blackoc #house of the dragon #house targaryen #daemon targaryen x black!reader #house velaryon #hotd

[dumbistsmartass]

Every Hatchetfield song explained badly in ten words or less

spoilers and also this is only the main trilogy not nightmare time.

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Yeah, he didn't like musicals

La Dee Dah Dah Day - "the dogs are my meal"

What Do You Want, Paul? - "please god have an I want song"

Cup of Roasted Coffee - If I had to sing working retail I'd kill someone

Cup of Poisoned Coffee - oh hey, they killed someone

Show Me Your Hands - this is what cops think 24/7

You Tied up My Heart - gaslight, gatekeep, girl bossing your way to mariticide

Join Us (And Die) - Guts Magee and Brainiac explain why you should KYS

Not Your Seed - "it's your fault your daughter is dead bitch"

Show Stoppin Number - He had a point but like no

America Is Great Again - you know what it's a joke about

Let Him Come - they know he's the main character

Let It Out - Is it an identify crisis or possession

Inevitable - a beautifully haunting ending

Tickle-Me Wiggly Jingle - what the actual fuck is this?

What Tim Wants - what can I say, it's sad

Califor.M.I.A. - they really want you to bond with these characters

What Do You Say? - everyone is too invested in these twos relationship

Our Doors Are Open - "shopping will fill the hole in your heart"

Feast Or Famine - this is real footage when the new iPhone comes out

Monsters and Men - He's fucking back!

Deck The Halls - we got a full working boys, we could get this

Take Me Back - I'll be real I skipped this one on rewatch

Adore Me - haunting when you don't say the shit part

Do You Want To Play? - a reversal of who you're told to trust

Made In America - we let him in via consumerism, amazing capitalism critique

Black Friday - me singing a musical as I'm being choked out

Monsters and Men (Reprise) - This guy is so cool

If I Fail You - "are we the baddies?"

Wiggle - Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle

What If Tomorrow Comes? - So she is seeing the other Hatchetfields right?

High School Is Killing Me - they really spoil the people who die first song huh?

Literal Monster - shove yourself in your locker

Cool As I Think I Am - you think you're cooler then you think you are

Dirty Girl - makes me genuinely uncomfortable, skip it

Bully The Bully - interesting plan, let's see how It plays out

Bury The Bully - oh... that got dark fast

Go Go Nighthawks! - everyone is happier now that this bitch is gone

Nerdy Prudes Must Die - to be fair, you did kill him

Hatchet Town - mass panic is so hip

Just For Once - we all though the light was gonna fall on her

If I Loved You - they are in so much denial

The Summoning - Wiggly want you to kill your crush

Cool As I Think I Am (Reprise) - really tragic, trying to convince the other to sacrifice them

The Best Of You - I'm so glad it didn't end with everyone dead again

Dirty Dudes Must Die - When you give a Christian a little dark magic

#hatchetfield #hatchetverse #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday #nerdy prudes must die #star kid #starkid #hatchet field #team starkid

[ficmashup]

A Trip to Scotland

Summary: You join TF141 after something happened on your last deployment. They take you in and while it takes some time, you find yourself warming up to them, and them to you. Perhaps especially to the Captain.

A/N: Sort of sequel to Taken, but this is the trip to Scotland (obviously, given the title) but I'm gonna let it stand along as it's own thing. Nearly panicked this week because my laptop charger died on me and had to immediately order another, but so relieved to have my writing back again. So this is a bit of a celebration. Don't think I'm quite done with G and Price yet, but I might write for someone else soon. Still thinking on it. ;)

Warnings: Hm, language? Fluff. Not many warnings this go round. Not beta'd.

Word Count: 4.5K

Masterlist

“So what exactly should I be preparing myself for?” I ask as I tuck away a few folded clothes into my duffel with a glance to John sitting on the chest at the end of the bed. We’re back home and I’m packing a few last-minute things before heading out for my flight. It took the entire few days to convince Soap that I didn’t need him at my side 24/7 to ferry me home, then to Scotland. So he’s already there eagerly awaiting the time to pick me up from the airport. At least according to the dozen text messages he’s already sent me today.

John smiles and shakes his head. “Soap’s family is alright. A bit much all at once, but they’re good people and I’ve little doubt you’ll get along.” There’s laughter in his voice that makes me raise a brow at him, but I let it slide. I’m sure I’ll find out what he means soon enough. I zip up my bag and he’s instantly on his feet to take it before I even touch the handles. My eyes roll even as I smile and begrudgingly take my crutch to shuffle into the kitchen.

“Three older sisters, right?” I ask as I settle on a stool and John sets my bag by the door.

He nods and moves towards me. “Three older sisters. He’s the baby, which explains a lot.” I smirk as he stops next to me and I reach out, pulling him closer by the hem of his shirt. His smile sweetens and his hand lifts, pushing my hair back as his thumb brushes over my cheek. “I’ll miss this.” He says softly, almost unintentionally, and I smile as I lean into his touch.

“Mm. The feeling is mutual.” This thing between us is still so new and shiny, I’d be happy sitting and staring at him do literally anything. Which is another reason why this little separation is a good idea. If I get any sappier, then I’m going to make myself sick. “I’ll text you updates and call you when I can?” I say the last part a bit hesitantly, not sure if it’s too much too soon.

“Sounds good. Good luck finding a moment alone in that house though.” He says with a smirk and once again I’m struck by the notion that he’s not telling me all that he could. My mouth opens to ask when there’s a knock at the door. My brows furrow and I become even more suspicious when John’s smile widens. “I’ll get it.” He presses a kiss to my lips and lingers a bit as my fingers curl into his shirt. He hums softly against my mouth and the pressure of the kiss increases before he pulls away, his hand kneading my skin lightly before he reluctantly walks to the door. I watch with a smirk before the door opens and surprise makes my expression go blank.

Simon shakes Price’s hand before looking at me with smug humor in his eyes. “Ready for our flight, G?”

I raise a brow as my eyes go wide. “Our flight? You’re shitting me.” I look between both men who simply smirk. My accusing gaze settles heavy on John. “Who was it that decided that I needed babysitting on a fucking hour long flight?” There’s no heat in my tone, but it gives me some pleasure to see Price shift his weight onto his back foot.

“Majority vote, G. Aren’t you glad for my company?” Simon teases flatly and it’s at least a treat to see his eyes sparkling so brightly. Even if it is at my expense.

“Mm. It’s nice having a pack mule, I suppose.” I tease him right back as he grabs my bag and easily heaves it over his shoulder with a roll of his eyes. My gaze goes back to John. “Suppose you can walk us out then, Captain.” I emphasize his title, letting him know that with Simon here, that’s the only goodbye that he’s going to get. He chuckles and ducks out next to Simon while I lock the door behind me.

“Go on, we’ll go slow and meet you outside.” Price pats Simon on the shoulder and he doesn’t pause, happy to keep moving on a mission as he slips down the stairs. My head shakes even as I smile and tuck my keys away as we move slowly down the hall.

“You realize that out of everyone, he probably already knows.” I say quietly and wrap my arm around his, letting him support me more than the crutch as we take our time walking down the hall.

John smiles and half-shrugs a shoulder. “Probably, yes. But he’s the least likely to say something as long as he knows we want things quiet.” He reaches forward and presses the button for the lift, his smile widening when he hears my impatient sigh at having to wait for the tiny box. If I could walk, I’d be headed for the stairs after Simon.

“You’re still happy with that?” I glance up at him as there’s a little ding and we step onto the lift.

He meets my gaze. “I am. But I’m glad to talk it through if you’ve changed your mind.”

My head shakes and I take the time to let my fingers rub over the inside of his arm, taking in the feeling of his skin. “No, I like the way things are. Though we should talk about what we’ll say…eventually.” There’s little doubt in my mind that they’ll figure things out sooner rather than later. Although we might last a little longer if Simon decides to work with us and throw the others off the scent.

“Something to think about while we’re apart.” He sounds a touch disgruntled this time and even though I feel the same, I do get a little thrill at knowing he’ll miss me.

“So…are you going to kiss me before the lift stops?” I relish the surprise that widens his eyes, then the cute crinkling of his eyes as he turns towards me. He reaches out and presses the buttons for the last few floors so we’ll make a stop at each one.

He turns towards me and I can’t help smiling as he tilts my chin up. “Do you want me to?”

“What do you think?” I keep my voice low and cloying, unable to help teasing him as he stoops a bit so his lips are an inch from mine. We take small, slow steps back until I can feel the wall behind me and my hand claims the handrail to keep me steady on one foot.

“Like hearing you tell me yes.” He murmurs and I breathe in that distinct scent of cigars as he practically speaks onto my lips.

“Pretty sure you hear me chirp ‘yes sir’ almost every day at work.” I whisper back, smirking as my other hand rests on his side to pull him closer, feeling his heat searing my hand through his shirt.

His head shakes, his nose almost brushing mine with each movement. “Not the same. Like hearing you ask me for things. Like giving you what you want.” Warmth fills my chest at the simple, sweet sentiment. I know the words will loop in my head later when I’m alone in bed, wandering if he’s the same way in other areas.

“And I like making you wait.” I tease again and my toes curl at the deep, rumbling laugh that makes his chest vibrate.

“You’re about to make both of us wait for two weeks. Can’t take it easy on me this once?” He raises a brow and I grin, pulling him in and pressing my lips to his. As always, his mouth is soft and warm on mine and fills me with slow heat with every touch. It’s easy and slow and I like that he takes his time making me melt into his hands. My head tilts to give him permission to deepen the kiss and he pauses for a moment, making sure I mean it, then pushes in again.

His hands frame my face and my stomach flips when I feel his calluses sliding against my skin. My lips part as I feel nothing but the wall behind me and the intense heat of him in front of me. His tongue tentatively glides over my bottom lip and I melt even further against him, pulling on his shirt as a silent plea for more. I’m only vaguely aware of the first ding of the lift as it stops and the door opens, but John treats this as a warning that our time is becoming shorter. This is new territory for us and it makes me think I may have underestimated how he might feel about being apart for two weeks. “So sweet f’me.” He mumbles into my mouth before giving me another firm kiss.

I huff softly, making a fist in his shirt as the doors close and the lift moves again. “Mean to tease like this before I leave.”

He smiles and I like tasting it. “You asked for it.”

“I asked for a kiss.”

“And I gave you one.”

“That was…more than a kiss.”

“Are you disapproving?”

The doors ding before opening again and I know the next time they open, we’ll have to get off. “No. I am debating on what it might take for Simon to let us do this in the back of the car on the way to the airport.” His eyes widen for a moment, then he’s laughing and I’m soaking in the sound.

“Hm, don’t think he’d put up with that, sugar. Tempting as it is.” His thumbs brush over my cheeks before reluctantly stepping back after making sure I’m steady on my feet.

“Pity.” I sigh and straighten out his shirt with a smirk as we come to the bottom floor and walk out. Simon has already tossed my back in the back and has a hand on the passenger side door. My head shakes, but I walk over and let him open my door, pretending not to notice his hand hovering over the small of my back as I slide in the seat. He and Price shake hands and pat each other’s shoulders before he continues to walk around to the driver’s side. My eyes soften as I look out at Price and give him a playful salute to see him smile before we pull out.

*     *     *

It becomes clear to me almost immediately that Simon isn’t a fan of public flights. It’s not a surprise given the cramped space filled with people, my head is on a swivel too, but we quickly fall into an easy pattern of covering for the other. If one of us needs to talk to someone, then the other moves behind and watches their back. It affords the both of us a little extra comfort and it’s easy letting him carry our bags. I think he likes having the added weight to steady him and it does make it easier for me to walk.

As we settle into our seats and my hand slides over his arm to try and leech out some of the stiffness, I’m not sure whether he was actually sent to help me or for me to help him. I reach into my carry on and immediately perk up when I find a little bag of hard candies inside. John or Kyle slipped them in there no doubt. I take one for myself, then offer the bag to Simon. He laxes a bit and smirks, accepting the offering and popping it into his mouth.

“You’ve been here before, yeah?” I ask softly, incredibly thankful that there’s no one else in our row.

He nods and moves the candy into his cheek. “Scotland or the MacTavish’s?”

My eyes roll. “Pretty sure you’d have to have been to Scotland in order to have been to the MacTavish’s.”

“Mm. There a question in there?” He shifts in his seat, frowning at the lack of space for his broad body.

“What do you think of them?” I fish for a little information, maybe what John didn’t want to tell me, and also just to keep his discomfort level low.

The frown on his face fades as the corner of his mouth twitches and amusement glimmers in his eyes. “They’re good people. A lot like Soap in all the best ways. A bit noisy when you first meet all of them, especially if they bring their families and little ones, but eventually it becomes a pleasant buzz in the background.”

My brows furrow. “How many people are going to be there?”

His smile widens a touch. “The entire family gets together on the weekends, so you’ll meet everyone.” I breathe out, long and slow, promising myself that John will be getting an earful about leaving out that particular detail. Especially since it’s Saturday, so I’m really being shoved into the lion’s den.

*     *     *

Simon knocks on the front door before deftly moving behind me as it swings open to reveal a grinning Soap. “G! Glad you finally—”

“Is that the famous G we’ve heard so much about?” A voice cuts him off and she sounds like an older woman, probably his mother. My eyebrows raise at hearing that I’m apparently famous. I’m not sure whether to be worried or flattered.

“Get her in here! I’ve been dying to meet her!”

“JJ, you’re blocking the entire doorframe with your fat head. Move over!”

I’m assaulted by a chorus of women’s voices before someone slides over and bumps Soap with her hip while holding a baby on the other side. She’s probably in her upper thirties. “Well, let her in! Thought the military was supposed to teach you manners?” Her smile is wide and pretty, like Soap’s, and her dark curly hair is wild even though it’s cut at her jaw. Just out of reach from the baby in her arms. “Come on in, G, we’ve heard so much about you. Glad you made it too, Simon.” She practically shoves Soap out of the way to make room for Simon and I to step in. He keeps to my back and I’m not sure if it’s to make sure that I don’t fall over or to make sure I don’t turn right back around.

“Thanks for havin’ me.” Simon says and the woman shakes her head as if he says this every time and it isn’t necessary. Decorations from the winter holidays are still up and most every other surface is covered with a toy, a child, or another family member. I release a long breath and feel Simon brace a hand high on my back as if reminding me I have back-up.

“I’m Shiloh.” The woman with wild curls introduces herself while easily holding her kid with an arm and offering her free hand to me. I shake it with what I hope is a smile. “It’s so good to finally meet you.”

“Pleasure meeting you all as well.” I manage to respond as another woman pops up from sitting on the floor amongst the kids. She has wild curls too, but her hair has a red tint and she’s a touch shorter. Probably mid-thirties.

“Sorry, we know it’s a lot when you first come in, but we’re so happy you’re here!” She shakes my hand with a bit more vigor, her smile bright and wide with sparkling eyes. “You were all JJ talked about when you joined the team and we’re glad you turned out to have a brain.” She gives Simon a pointed look and I’m pretty sure he smothers a chuckle at the firm look. “I’m Shaye, by the way.”

“Let the woman sit, she shouldn’t be on her leg!” An older woman with greying russet hair and round curves waves everyone away as she walks over to me and my eyes go wide as she frames my face with her hands. She’s short and I have to lean down a bit as she draws me close. “It’s so good to have you here with us, lass. So good.” And I can tell she means the sentiment as her eyes crinkle at the sides as she appraises me. She plants a firm kiss to my cheek before reaching behind me and patting Simon’s cheek, then stepping back. “I’m John’s mother. Call me Grace. His father is out back with the rest of the riff raff, but they’ll be in a little later. Go on, pick a place to settle and we’ll kick out whoever is sitting there.”

“Good luck getting Uncle Mick out of his seat.” Soap mutters to Shaye and she grins while looking over at a man snoring softly in an armchair. I’m only half aware of walking over to what seems like the least obtrusive seat, a stool at the counter overlooking the kitchen, and Simon settles next to me. He immediately pulls my foot into his lap to make sure I keep it elevated while I give him a sharp look that only makes him smirk.

“My youngest girl is out trying to wrangle the men into actually cookin’ things on time, but the meal’ll be done soon enough. Just make yourself at home.” Grace says warmly before flitting around the kitchen once again.

“Smells good as always.” Simon says and earns a wide smile from her and an eyeroll from Soap standing beside him. The room is filled with soft conversation and it’s a relief that no one tries to pull me into any for a while. I’m allowed to sit and survey while my mind sorts through the faces, the sounds, and the comforting mess accompanying a large family. There are two toddlers on the floor and a baby passed between the few milling around the room. Apparently, there are more kids out back with their dads and another baby only a few months old, but I’m content letting them come to me rather than seeking them out.

Eventually everyone filters inside and I get to meet Soap’s youngest sister, Siobhan, whose cheeks are rosy from the chill outside. Her eyes light up the second she sees me and she rushes over, stopping just a second before crashing into me to shake my hand. She’s got to be close to Soap’s age. “You must be G! Thanks for keeping my brother in one piece out there.” She winks at me, her bubbly attitude sobering a touch. “It’s a real comfort for all of us knowing he’s got another person watching his back.” Her hand squeezes my arm before she’s called away and I stare after her, feeling warm and surprised.

I feel Ghost’s eyes on me and glance at him to see his eyes crinkled slightly with a soft smile. He nods once. It was like this for him too, then. “I’m gonna give you all such shit for not warning me about all this sooner.” I mutter under my breath, obviously not meaning a word, and he chuckles softly.

“Looking forward to it.” He returns with a twinkle in his eye.

Soap walks over with a fussing baby swaddled up in his arms, this must be the one that had been outside, and slaps Simon’s shoulder. “Dad wants you for a minute.” Simon nods and gently gets up to his feet as Soap takes his place on the stool holding my ankle. I huff.

“Pretty sure there are plenty of children here for you to babysit. I’m fine here.” They glance at one another before shrugging and doing exactly the same thing that they were doing. My head shakes, but I don’t bother objecting more.

“John, can you grab that for me?” His mother asks from the kitchen and he hesitates, looking at me.

I wave him on with a little roll of my eyes. “Promise I won’t move from this spot.” I swear and he smirks before hopping up and setting my foot slowly on the stool so I’m not jostled. He pauses another second and my stomach swirls at seeing the mischief building in his eyes as he steps close and ever so gently lowers the baby into my stiff arms. My head instantly starts shaking as she squawks and her face pinches at the exchange. “Johnny, don’t you dare—”

“Only for a minute, G. Just don’t stand up because you have poor balance right now. Wouldn’t want to risk the bearn.” He grins at me and slides into the kitchen while I stare down at the tiny human now in my arms. I…I’m actually not sure if I’ve ever held a baby in my life. I shift her a bit and pull her close with my arms firm but not too tight around her. She coos and I instinctively start swaying a little in my seat.

“I know, I’m sorry your mean Uncle Soap gave you to some strange lady. A very not cool uncle thing of him to do.” I whisper softly, feeling her weight and warmth sink into my chest. Her blinks get a little slower and I can’t help smiling down at her. Maybe this isn’t too bad. “Must be pretty nice getting held and rocked all the time. Take advantage of it while you can.” I relax a little more and lean back in my seat while continuing to bounce her a little until her eyes are shut and her little mouth is left open. I wonder briefly if this is how Johnny looked as a baby and my smile widens at the thought.

Soap comes back over, but doesn’t reach for her so I don’t make a move to give her back. “Seems you’ve got the special touch. She usually fights sleep a bit harder.”

“Mm. Bet you weren’t this cute when you were a baby.” I tease and he grins, shaking his head.

“Agreed. Especially with the tiny mohawk. Probably stuck up all over the place.” I laugh softly, careful not to move or make too much noise.

Shiloh comes over and Soap makes space for her as she sighs with relief. “Thank god you got her down. We were a few minutes off from full screamin’.” Still, she smiles softly as she looks down at the little bundle.

“Why don’t you head up early tonight? The bearns’ll be looked after.” Soap encourages softly and the warmth in my chest only spreads when I recognize the same tone he used with me to get me to go to bed after a hard mission.

She smiles and sways into him. “You and my husband, I swear. But I know you’re just trying to get me away from G before I tell her what an idiot you were when you were younger.” Her hand musses his hair and he ducks away with a small groan.

“More of an idiot than now?” I ask with a brow lifting and Soap gives me a disapproving look that I grin at.

Shiloh nods. “Oh yeah. We once convinced him that we could all fly but him and he jumped off the roof to try and prove that he could too. Broke his arm.” She giggles while my eyes go wide and I choke while trying swallow my laughter. Soap sighs and tosses his arms in the air, subtly showing her his middle finger out of sight from his mother as he walks away.

The evening goes on and eventually I’m relieved of my babysitting duties only to find Simon across the room with a plastic screwdriver in his hand being instructed by one of the young boys. He’s utterly patient and seems to be taking his task quite seriously. I might snap a picture or two to show John later and for Simon to keep. I think he’d like having them.

Dinner is as raucous as I expected it to be, but I’m a bit more used to it now. The noise is joyous and the room is filled with loud voices and laughter. This isn’t something I’ve ever had and it helps to have Simon beside me as a steady, familiar anchor. But it’s nice. I like the way they argue with grins on their faces, how they laugh without restraint, how warm and welcoming everyone is.

Afterward, I manage to slip outside and I’m greeted by the cool night air. I hadn’t realized how hot the house had gotten with all the people inside. I pull out my phone as I sit on the front porch and call John, smiling when it only rings once before he picks up. “Hey, sugar. How’s it going?” Just the sound of his voice makes me feel a little fuzzy inside.

“It’s good. They’re a lot like I thought they’d be, but…more.”

He chuckles and I imagine him stretching out on his couch, leaned back against the cushions with his hands resting on his spread thighs. “That describes the MacTavish’s pretty well, I think. Never could do anything half-heartedly.”

“Mm. I haven’t been around a family like this in a long time. Since before I joined the military. It’s a little jarring being around so many kids all at once.” I lean against the step behind me, resting an elbow on the cold wood while staring up at the starry sky. It is beautiful out here.

“Simon said the same thing the first time he went.” He hums with amusement. “A bit less nicely though. Think it went something like ‘so many fuckin’ kids.’” We both chuckle while I nod. Yeah, that sounds about right.

“I like seeing him with them. He could use more playtime in his life.” I grin at the thought of buying him a little plastic toolkit to carry around with him. “I might’ve snuck a few pictures without him seeing.”

“Oh yeah? Don’t think you’re the only one.” There’s a little ding from my phone and I put him on speaker as I look at my messages. There’s a picture waiting there of me holding the baby, a soft smile on my face as I stare down at her. Soap is in the kitchen, so Simon must’ve taken it. Cheeky bastard. “Look pretty comfy in that picture, sugar.”

I smile and shrug as if he can see me. “Not sure if I’ve ever held a baby before. Don’t think I have and Soap was only using her as a reason to keep me sitting. But I liked holding her. I think I like it here, actually. Only thing missing is you.” My cheeks get a little hot when I realize what I said, but I only hear John’s soft hum of approval.

“Wish I was there too, sugar. But I like hearing that you’re enjoying yourself and getting some rest. It’s well-deserved.”

“You deserve rest too. Better not neglect yourself while I’m away.”

He laughs softly and I let the sound fill me with warmth. “Yes, ma’am. Call me again tomorrow?”

“I will. Night.”

“Night, sugar.”

We hang up and I stay outside for a few moments longer, breathing in the crisp air and appreciating the stars. It’s only when Soap comes to get me that I shuffle inside straight into a fire warmed blanket that Simon instantly swaddles me in before sitting me in an armchair close to the flickering fireplace. Yeah, I could really learn to like this place.

Tags (Hello, lovelies. As always, tell me if you'd like to be removed or if anyone else wants to be tagged on G and Price's story!)--

@under-the-dirt @jj-ara33 @sorchateas @cherry-blosom-tree

@thriving-n-jiving @jinxxangel13 @emsstuff1 @missmidnight-writes @thereeallink @younggirlgenius @1wh4re1nova @ghostslillady @honeybeeznutz @00ops1e

#captain price #call of duty #cod #fluff #angst #cod mw2 #ghost #price #price x reader #f!reader #f!oc #simon ghost riley #john price #captain john price #price fluff #soap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #G x Price #female!oc #oc:G

[nikolajrostovs]

we just had the most interesting discussion about war and masculinity in the old wap server and you gotta hear this.

If you wanna talk about nikolai rostov you will always, ALWAYS get to the topic of manliness. Because genuinely masculinity is such a core part of his character. There is no nikolai without masculinity, and that masculinity is as performative as it gets.

We like to joke about his tsar crush and okay yeah he definitely does have a gayass crush on the tsar. But he himself connects it to being part of a group, a group with a common interest. Everyone in the army loves the tsar.

Being part of a group is why he joined the military in the first place! He wants glory, he wants to prove himself, to be strong, and to be a part of this big group of manly men. And he needs to be a part of a group, because nikolai is a follower in every single way. He's not a leader at all. And the moment he becomes a hussar, he fixates on Denisov. Denisov is brash, headstrong, hairy, and so intelligent. He knows what he wants, he stands up for himself, but he also cares deeply for his men. He's a really great leader, but to Nikolai he's also the perfect manly man.

Weirdly enough, hair is such an important part of Nikolai's relationship to manhood. Denisov is consistently described as hairy. At the start of the novel, Nikolai has some very sparse beginnings of a mustache on his lip. A shitty teenage boy mustache, truly. Over the years it gets thicker as he gets better at performing his masculinity, and soon enough he's just like Denisov. He's the man he always dreamed of being (except a little worse because Denisov is a much nicer person than him).

Dolokhov's hands are also described as hairy. Sure, it's gay as shit, but Nikolai, in distress, fixates so much on the hair on Dolokhov's hands. He says himself that those hands hold him in their power.

And the gambling, too. Cards and gambling are very much a man's thing. No girls allowed. Nikolai is so terrible at cards, and he plays against a known cardsharp. You might think this is an idiotic move, and it is. But he is indeed kind of stupid, so he does it anyway. And why does he keep going? Well, one, gambler's fallacy. Two, he convinces himself it'll all be okay in the end. Gambling is a Man Thing, men gamble all the time and they turn out okay! It's okay! It always turns out okay, except for when it doesn't, but surely he's enough of a man to know how to gamble. But then Dolokhov is more masculine than Nikolai, and his hairy hands hold him in their power, and they ruin him.

So, Nikolai succeeds in his performance as a manly man. He becomes what society expects him to be, even if it's not his true self. And then he marries Marya, a woman, because what else would he do? Men like women, and men marry women. Men don't like men. Remember all of this definitely has to do with how he's at least a little bit aware that he's gay.

And what kind of husband and father does Nikolai become? A neglectful, dismissive, rude one. He's a masculine man, he doesn't have time for his family! Of course he has to have a family, because he has to pass on his genes and create a new generation of Big Strong Sons, but he shouldn't actually care about his wife or children. And he becomes a farmer, too, which is just THE most masculine thing he could do.

So do we ever actually get to see Nikolai being his honest-to-god true self? Does he ever drop the manly man act and just enjoy life? Well, no, it's never truly gone, but I think he's most comfortable with Natasha. I mean, Natasha is his best friend, really. She's his favorite person in the world, and he can be honest with her. They're very similar people, and thus she understands him and he understands her. Just read the Christmas part of the book please. It's so amazing.

In conclusion, in the immortal words of jimmy rostova, "he's trying so hard to transition to hussar gender"

#thanks to the wap server for awakening me in the enlightenment channel #war and peace #nikolai rostov #me actually having an intelligent thought about the Guy and running with it #also speaking of running. his performance fails when he runs away from battle. as sansa said: weakness is not accepted in the group #he's failed the tsar and his comrades and russia. in doing so he has also failed himself and the man he wants to be #also all of this was interspersed with me talking about this really cool finland-swedish book about war and guilt and generational trauma #every day i wish “heiman” by ann-luise bertell had an english translation. #discourse moomins

[satirates]

Baghera Jones is her own person that can make her own decisions, thank you very much

I wasn't going to post this here because most of this discourse came from the bird app, but I've seen so much posts here (and in my notes) that I need to get this out of my chest. So this post is going to be TW: fandom neg about Baghera treatment by the QSMP community, be warned.

So, where to begin?

I keep seeing post about Q!Baghera being a bad friend to Forever, insulting her, saying she" hate him" and that it would be better if Forever only interact with Brazilians from now on. And I'm tired of this shit

" She will clearly always side with BBH whatever Forever do"

Oh, so we have a woman friend with two men, so of course she needs to take sides. Forbid her to have her personal opinions, it all about choosing the guy she likes the most, isn't it ? How people don't realize hoe misogynistic that way of thinking is !?

She literally connected on the server yesterday, learned that Forever wanted to build a prison to imprison players and that he pass a law that was specifically targeted at one of her other friends. Of course, she said that she will stand by BBH if this continues. She is trying to comfort him because from HER perspective, he's being targeted by unfair laws, and he is still (in lore) experiencing psychological problems. She didn't side with him, she chooses to help him. Because she can make decision with the information she has.

" But she is always against what Forever propose with the government"

I'm sorry, where were you when the election arc happens? Probably insulting Baghera because she dare have opinions and calling them "stupid" and "baseless" to the point she quitted I guess? q!Baghera was ALWAYS anti-federation. She joined the election so she could start a revolution. Even after she accepted to not do that, she always defends the point that having a president was a bad idea and that a council would be better. These ideas aren't new and she didn't stop having them after Forever got elected. It makes sense for her character to oppose to him, because she was never for a president in first place.

Yesterday, she didn't say she thought his idea of vote is stupid. She says that she doesn't agree with HOW it's done right now and that they can make it better. More representative of the people. But when she talked to Forever, he basically ran away when she started saying she didn't like it. Then they got interrupted by Bad. She hadn't the time to explain herself and people are acting like she said the idea(and Forever) was bad when she never says such thing. And even if she was totally against it, she would have the right to. She has the right to have a different opinion than her friends.

" But she is always hiding things!"

Clearly, you haven't watched Baghera's stream in a long time. What does she have to hide, I'm asking you? She never gets lore, and never has any in the past. Every time sometimes mildly exciting happen, she is running to another player just so she could tell them. In the election arc she was even sharing a ton of secrets with Cellbit, a guy she was convince was a dormant agent, just because he was on the server at the same time as her and she needed to share! She is only keeping secrets that other people told her. You know, like a good friend? Also, she sometimes forgot to say things right away, but cc! Baghera has ADHD, so it's not on purpose she sometimes forgets things. CC! Baghera said that canonically, her character trust Forever 100%, and she kept it that way so far. She just has no secrets to share right now because she isn't getting any lore.

" But Forever is always alone these days, and Baghera isn't appreciative of his work!"

Pshhh, I'm going to tell you a secret. You know who's alone 90% of their streams? BAGHERA JONES! She is in her castle alone, building. And why she spends the other 10% with people? Because she goes to people to check on them! Does Forever do that? No. He's in is isolation arc. We have never seen him check on what Baghera was doing or asking to do something together. Several times we've seen the players having fun while he was online, and he didn't join. It's not Baghera's job to go fetch him to play and help him when he isn't asking for it. And she always shows appreciation for what he is doing, just not in his face. Things you would know if y'all were actually watching her POV. She has Portuguese and English subtitle on at all times, you have no excuses. And why these type of comments are always directed toward Baghera and nobody else in the server that are doing stuff aside from Forever? Literally, I've never seen anyone else being call names because they are not tending to someone else need. Truly strange that it's directed at a woman, isn't it?

Baghera said in live recently that she has to take a break from doing lore with some of the streamers with the biggest community because she was getting hate every single time she was interacting with them. She didn't say names, But we all know who she was talking about. And I think it sucks she has to walk on eggshells around Brazilian players because of that. That she try to not be too friendly/teasing with Forever because of that. If you don't see her spending time with him as much, now you know why. They are still friend, but she doesn't want to deal with the community bullshit.

To conclude

She said that she wants her character to be recognized for her own achievement and not just be "Forever and bad third friend". And I'm also tired of this. She has the right to have opinions. She has the right to make decisions that contradict the ones of her friends. Furthermore, she isn't "Forever bad friend" or "BadBoyHalo emotional support woman". She is her own person. Stop acting like she's picking sides. Stop to infantilize her by saying that "she needs to think about the way she's acting". All her decisions make sense in universe. She has the right to defend her friend, she has the right to do her castle in peace, she has the right to not spend time with/help her brother if she doesn't feel like it. SHE has the RIGHT to exist at the SAME LEVEL as BBH and Forever, not as their accessory that is there to break them apart.

We have a lot more women on the server now that Jaiden plays regularly and with the new players. Let threat them like person, not just by the lenses of the men of the QSMP. Go watch their POV. Ask questions to people that watch them on main.

I'm so tired of this, it's being going on for months. I know the biggest part of the community is nice and love her. At least until she does something they don't like. I'm so tired...

#qsmp #q!baghera #q!forever #qsmp fandom #qsmp fandom neg #Also no hate to Forever #He's doing is best and I'm happy that him and BBH are enjoying their discord arc #but I hate how people use it to insult and belittle Bags #I'm going to start blocking people on sight #longpost #Defending women of the qsmp online isn't enough anymore #I need a knife #qsmp discourse

[joan-of-feminism]

I went down the Andrew Tate rabbit hole again and re-pissed myself off but holy shit he is blatantly admitting in this vid that he created and ran a sex trafficking business like it’s no big deal. And if you don’t think that this was a crime, guess what ‘business’ of theirs got them charged with the sex trafficking charges in the first place? Their webcam business.

“Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested on December 29 along with two other suspects while Romanian forces investigated them for alleged sexual assault and exploitation.

Now that they’re facing trial, Romanian prosecutors have confirmed the charges being brought forward are human trafficking, rape, and forming a criminal gang to sexually exploit women…

Prosecutors have identified six women claiming to be victims of Andrew Tate. Their case alleges that the Tates seduced women so that they would produce pornographic content on demand, which was used to fuel a webcam business.”

He’s talking about it like some savvy business venture, which in all honesty, that’s exactly what it is to him. No concern for the humanity or lives of the women he used and abused to make himself a millionaire. I also came across another vid of Tristan Tate saying how ‘happy’ he was to be in jail and it didn’t effect him the way the haters wanted it to. 🙄

Like there is ZERO self awareness of what they did and it made me realize how so many men out there are sex traffickers and don’t even realize that what they are doing is trafficking/pimping. We have this image in our minds that sex trafficking is some guy snatching you off the street, when in reality it’s what the Tate’s did. You manage girls’ only fans accounts/webcam accounts and take a certain percentage? You’re a pimp. You fly girls out of the country to shoot porn content? Pimp and trafficker. You convinced your girlfriend that she/the two of you should start an onlyfans and you profit off it somehow? Pimp. That last one is becoming so common now a days. A guy that my sis was dating suggested that to her and I was in shock at how brazenly he talked about pimping her out.

And another thing, in the vid, Tate literally said that he would get women without “the will” to join his webcaming business. Like, women who did NOT WANT TO. And he would coerce them in some way (prob with promises of money) to do it. SICK, VILE, POS. Fuck I hate them and I viciously hate every man who has so much as even THOUGHT about sexually exploiting a woman like that. And the amount of boys and men who defend him makes me want to vomit. My own brother says that he’s a ‘business man’ and ‘people hate him because he’s rich’. Yeah, rich by running an international sex trafficking ring. Anyone who defends this man and his behavior can eat shit and die.

#anti sex industry #anti sex trafficking #anti sex trade #fuck pimps #fuck andrew tate #May he and all pimps rot in hell for all eternity #radfem #radfems do touch #radblr #radfems can interact

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Kano x Teen Reader: Brat

With the help of Character ai ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Next time, I could find something even bigger for ya, mate." Kano enters the bar with a few of his men, looking forward to a nice drink or more after a nice paying mission.

He sits at the rusty, old bar and orders his usual beer bottle, not taking care of the hooded person he sat next to. You were just waiting for this moment.

"Kano!" A familiar young voice called his name as he was chugging down his beer. He choked on it as he got startled.

Setting it down aggressively he looked at the person wearing the hoodie.

Knowing you have his attention now, you spun on the bar stool to reveal your face. "Have you finally considered hiring me, now?" You asked with excitement.

"Oh, for the love of- not this little twerp again, I ain’t got the time to entertain some little wanker…" Kano groans, rubbing his temples.

"Come on! I already told you! I'm good at stealing shit! The Black Dragon consists on thieves, right?" You try to convince him.

"I may as well hire a little turd that was born yesterday if I consider hiring you! You'd die the first five minutes you join us." Kano snarked.

"Just think about it! The other day I stole some jackass' wallet! He ain't got much in there, but it was enough to get me some pop." You reminisced, crossing your legs on the old stool.

"OoOoOoh! So you pickpocket someone? That's nothin' special, darlin. We kill people." He bluntly states, narrowing his real eye at you.

"Mkay." You shrug off as if it was nothing. "I can work with guns. Ever heard of GTA?"

Kano gave himself a face palm, almost snapping at you for even thinking it's the same thing. "That's a video game, Y/n. This is real li-" Kano had to think for a moment. "Look, it's not the same!"

"Whatever you say, boss." You murmured and looked away, so does he, focusing back on his men.

You glanced at his unsupervised drink and let the intrusive thoughts win as you always do. Quickly snatching the bottle, you chug down a good amount before he has time to react.

"Y/n!" He snatches his drink back from you. "You little shi- This is my drink! Get yer' own when you're not twelve!"

"One, I'm not twelve, I'm older than that! Two, you can have it back, it tastes like shit! You're almost out of it, by the way."

"It's beer, of fucking course it tastes like shit." He says still drinking it.

"Then why do you still drink it?!" You ask with annoyance.

"Because I built a tolerance. Now buzz off and go back to school, damn brat." He waves you off.

"Not until you let me join the Black Dragon."

Giving up, Kano reaches in his inventory , pulls out a nice band of dollar bills, and throws it to you.

"What is this for?" You ask with confusion but satisfaction.

"It’s just some shut-up money. Now go away before I regret lettin’ ya have so much." Kano dismisses you with success this time.

Smiling mischievously, you flick him off before skedaddling out the bar. Kano only shakes his head and orders another beer.

"I didn't know ya lettin' fuckin' children in the pub now." Kano scoffs at the bartender.

"She wouldn't leave until you came, I got tired of telling her to get out my bar." The bartender shrugged, scrubbing a whiskey glass down. "Besides, not like I'm letting the little shit get drunk and dealing with the rest when she walks out."

Kano nods in approval, chugging down his second drink for the night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~

#mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mk imagine #mortal kombat imagines #mk headcanons #mortal kombat headcanons #kano #mk kano #kano x reader #goddesswritings

[bunglegaydogs]

Hiiii I'm just sending an ask because they're all different posts (read : I'm lazy) so please don't mind me lol

First and foremost, YOU ARE AMAZING AT EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ESSAYS ARE ALWAYS SO NUANCED?? SO YOU SAYING THAT WAS A HUGE COMPLIMENT OMG- I love reading your bsd essays so much and it's just now that I realised that they're all your essays abaammw some of the best in the fandom really. I'm always baffled when in the middle of an essay you go "I may not be articulating my thoughts right" or "this is kind of just put together" because girl you're amazing! Never stop writing these please ajajahsbw ALSO! Hearing your little thoughts and feelings pop up in the middle of an essay makes it so endearing to me. Like, that's a whole ass person writing these many words just to express how much they like this show and they're so adorable! (So sorry if that's offensive idk if calling someone adorable is)

Also, completely unrelated lol but this is exactly why I prefer to ask people questions instead of googling! Knowing that the person explaining is a human has their own opinions and hearing their feelings and experiences is so much more better and relatable than reading stuff off a Google website. Also your pfp is the cutest everyone has cute pfps nowadays 😭 anyways yes cute pfp :D

Actually getting to the point now:

1) yes yes Oda and Dazai's relationship is so dear to me I love them sm and I adore seeing Atsushi all caring for his mentor 😭 he's basically Dazai's emotional support cat!! Dazai let the boy in please I'm begging you he can purr probably and it would melt away your stress pls pls (Maybe everyone in the ADA sees Atsushi as their emotional support cat...)

2) Mori is a piece a shit, and you should be allowed to say it. I'm never biased in my writing but I loathe that guy with my very being and the whole people who like Mori thing really got me reconsidering...was *I* the bad guy for not liking a character when I actively liked a character very similar to him? Then I realised, I completely respect and treat equally all the people who don't like/hate Dazai. I don't treat them any different just because they don't like a character. And that's what I should expect too!

There's no post defending Dazai, and yet I still like him because I accept his wrongdoings and want him to keep getting better, like Oda told him to. Yknow, the argument would be MUCH different if Dazai was a woman and not a man, imagine bashing someone for liking a teen girl and not liking the guy who groomed her to be his heir. Yeah, really puts things into perspective. I'm not sexist, I treat (respectful) men and women equally, but Mori is just. No.

3) I haven't see it before in any canon source material but I feel like it's definitely true. It's clear that Dazai WANTS to want to keep living, but he can't bring himself to want it because of all the pain he's endured. He literally said in dark era that the reason he joined the mafia was to try and seek meaning in life by being close to death and violence. It's ironic, Dazai feels the most alive when he's about to LOSE that privilege. It could also mean that Dazai only realises the "value" in living when he's about to lose it. Perhaps he thinks of things he could've done, things he'll regret, and that helps him to stop before he actually does it. But in my opinion? I don't think he finds anything of worth in that time. He just convinces himself that he does. This is a personal hc but it's probably likely to be the case.

If you've listened to the song My R, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.(totally recommend btw!).The girl in the song speaks to herself about her woes and the 'other' version of her comforts her telling her about all the things that she DOES have, but by the end of the song, she has lost everything of meaning and she can't comfort the "girl". It is only revealed that the girls she comforted are different versions of HERSELF that she stopped from jumping.

Anyways, in conclusion, SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG HE DESERVES IT

oh my god oh my god oh my god

i am sat here on the verge of TEARS in my goddamn chuuya cosplay

okay okay give me a second i need to collect myself

you are singlehandedly the SWEETEST person ever im sobbing

literally i cant- thank you so fucking much! you dont understand how much this all means to me WOWOWOWOW <33333333

literally, my brain doesnt let me consume my content positively and so i always think that theyre quite bad or that im the only person who thinks that or that im saying all the wrong things lol

i have so many words and thoughts floating around in my little brain that i just cant find the words for, so thats honestly what those rants are, my delusional 4am thought processes when i deep things too much

and YOU THINK??? genuinely, thank you!!! i love reading people's essays and thoughts, so hearing you say that genuinely just warms my absolute heart <3

and yes yes i do get quite sidetracked very often and start just rambling and adding my own personal twists- genuinely i thought that was annoying for people to read, but you're just putting a big smile on my face right now :) and PLS DONT THINK CALLING ME ADORABLE IS OFFENSIVE I LITERALLY GIGGLED READING THAT SHIT FR. <333

i like to add personal experiences and thoughts into it, just to get my point across, put it into an irl perspective and let people also relate and see what im getting at. (unfortunately) i have the same experiences as most of these characters, and so that is why they're so dear to me and why i get very defensive and passionate writing about them!

and yes! getting your answers and stuff from irl people instead of strange irrelevant responses is much more preferred lol. it's more raw and in depth and definitely a lot more personal! and thank you so much!!! it's genuinely one of my favourite dazai panels istg hes such a pretty mf

1.) i love love LOVE their dynamic, i think it's one of my favourites in the show along with skk and ranpo and yosano. it really fucking hits hard, as all family dynamics do with me fr, idk what it is about them, they just get me. and yes!!! i love when atsushi shows that he cares for dazai it MAKES ME FEEL NICE <3 and that's so real oh my god hes a tiger please PLEASE he can fucking PURR (there was a tumblr post i saw, i can try and find it but it made me actually cry laughing)

THIS ONE i was fucking howling but yes! their relationship is also one that really really gets to me! and yes, he is just the ada's support cat, it's canon, i'm ranpo's sweets

2.) thank you thank you THANK YOU mori is an actual degenerate human being. he's not made to be liked or appreciated or revered, it's just fucking AEUGH. i'm not going to demonise the people who enjoy him as a character, but seriously, it's a big red flag to overlook the canon pedophilia. i saw someone make a defense against him saying "yes, but he's never actually touched kids, so that doesn't mean anything" SORRY? they also went on to say that he "restrains himself" from having pedophilic thoughts with elise, and basically praised him for that. needless to say, it got me feeling fucking icky. and yes! i feel exactly the same. i always think that "oh, maybe i'm the awful one for not liking him? am i bad?" even though, no, i'm perfectly fine thinking that way and i am allowed to think that way. and exactly again! dazai is my favourite character, but i recognise his flaws and his mistakes and don't forgive them. but he's actively trying to "be a better person" (i say this in quotation marks because dazai sees everything he does as inevitably pointless, but still wishes to uphold oda's dying words. i am definitely going to make a post about this in the near future lol) and i dont make my analyses biased towards him, and i stay on neutral ground UNLESS personal opinion comes up, to which i then say that it's my personal opinion, not fact, and that it's anybody's choice to think however they want. if somebody doesn't like dazai; okay! i'm interested in talking with them, and we can both talk about things we're very passionate about and have healthy conversations! unlike some people i have seen on reddit, goddamn. but no, we're not the bad people for hating that knobhead fr. we should all treat and be treated the same as any other fan in the fandom and get along, and i wish we could ALL do that in non-toxic ways. 99% of this fandom are the loveliest people ever, but that 1% just needs to get a grip like omg. we should treat others how we want to be treated, regardless of who favours what ship and who likes what character. and real!!! if gender roles were reversed for dazai, this would be much more problematic, and that's upsetting! dw dw, i dont think its sexist, i think its putting things into perspective bc, either way, its shitty how he was treated. i fucking hate mori. whenever i see people defending him to like, the bone, like not getting into a decent discussion and being civil but instead bashing everyone who says otherwise and completely overlooking the abuse, manipulation, grooming, pedophilia and just him as a sick and twisted person in general, it just really irks me. as someone who has in fact had to deal with separate strands of abuse including many fucking counts of sexual abuse and pedophilia, it disgusts me seeing people overlooking it and it makes me feel fucking sick. that shit is not just something to be overlooked because of the fact that you enjoy mori as a character, he's not supposed to be a character that's consumed positively, he's a bad guy. a lot of characters in bsd are morally grey, but mori is just fucking morally black. he's downright evil.

(TW for suicide and self harm next btw :) )

3.) yes yes yessss!!! again, bringing personal stuff into it, i deal heavily with the whole topic of suicide and self harm. i've attempted twice and still deal with thoughts of it every single day, as well as self harm. so, this is one of my main reasons of dazai being my absolute favourite character, because of the representation and actual presentation of these topics. at first, we're shown them in a whimsical and whacky way, then it gets so much darker once we get into the dark era. it's a complete tonal shift, and it really sets in the gravity of the situation for him. and, as you said, he wants to have that ability to want to keep going and living, and he wants to be able to put the effort in, but he can't/ he physically cannot. as much as he would want to try, he can't. and yes, when he said that it fucking BROKE me fr. just at the chance that he's not able to keep living on anymore as a human is the one thing that keeps him alive, i fucking love asagiri's writing, it's so complex and beautiful. and its so so so real!!! youre literally right idc lmao. youve so eloquently said it im crying, youre putting all my thoughts into words <3

and yes!!! i have listened to the song, i absolutely LOVE it! and i never fail to think of dazai whenever i listen to it </3 and, i also think it's very very much like dazai, because of the multiple different versions we see of him too. chuuya hasn't exactly changed much, but he has gone through some very very complex and deep character developments, such as in fifteen and stormbringer. hes a lot more "tame" and respectful now, and a lot more mature. (except with dazai lmao) aku, we see he's changed slightly thanks to atsushi, but still no major character fucking flip arounds. all these characters we've watched slowly become better and more complex throughout the series. dazai? he just does 180s every single fucking year. hes different at 14 and 15 than he is at 18. hes different at 18 than he is at 20-22. and the different faces he puts on for each and every person, all his masks that he has. there's much variety to dazai; you never know what you'll get. there's so many different sides to him, because he doesn't know who he is. as odasaku saw him, "a lost child crying out". no matter the age, no matter the state, dazai is always going to be harbouring that broken child with him, trying to hide it and build up walls around it, because the only time he's ever shown it, he's gotten hurt or betrayed and lost some key figures in his life. trust issues much?

anyways i am sorry i am sorry i rambled too much lmao

in conclusion, YES, GIVE HIM A FUCKING HUG OH MY GOD PLEASE I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HUG HIM PLS GOD LET ATSUSHI GIVE HIM A BIG HUG WHEN HE COMES OUT OF MEURSAULT I SWEAR-

thank you so so so SO much for your kind words!!! sweetest person EVER fr <333333

thank you my love!!! /p have a lovely day/night :) <3

[crzyimp]

Finally! Enough time to breath and be unhinged over this book! A lot has happened but hopefully I'm back and being consistent now. I'll throw my thoughts on chapters(some more than others) I missed up to the latest!

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

Chapter 11, Burocracy! (the horror)

Emperor Taizong goes to the underworld to explain his case against the 10 kings after promising to save the old dragon but failed too. Promises or giving your word was(and I think still is) a big deal. It's tied to how committed, trustworthy, and reliable you are. It's the intent you give to the other and the strong meaning behind. In some cultures, you can be cursed to a terrible fate if you break it. So Taizong explains his side of the story and the king agreed he tried his humanly best and not in trouble. Which instead of a meeting, this could've been discussed over a letter. The kings tell him he has 13 years left to live, I rather I didn't know but that's just me, and he thanks them. He tours the underworld to see the inter workings and all the men he sent to death or killed. Taizong given a chance to start changing his ways and to save the lost souls who passed before returning to the living. Once the Emperor returns, he makes changes post haste by allowing concubines free and marrying officials, allowing those on death row to visit family and tie up loose ends for one year before their death, and giving offerings to the lost souls so they can pass on. Then he sends Liu Quan to posion himself to offer melons as thanks to the 10 kings.

Chapter 12:

You can't convince me that Liu Quan and the emperor’s sister didn't have something going on. I find it a little to convenient that his wife gets to have the sister's body. Either there was affair or something shady. Anyways, the emperor goes about giving thanks to those who helped him in the living, which leads up to Buddhism being popularize and temples in his name. And our good boy Xuanzang, Child River Float, the man who has many names/titles just like Sun Wukong. He's giving another name, Tripitaka, things and people to help him out his journey to the west.

Chapter 13:

Tripitaka gets kidnapped and watch his men and possibly friends devoured in front of him. The gods are on his side and saves him(literally) from being eaten himself and escapes. He's still in the Tang region and encounters a nice country man who gives him shelter, food, and a guide out of the territory.

Chapter 14:

Wukong back! And Tripitaka frees him out of the mountain after learning who and what Wukong's crimes are. Tripitaka trust him enough since old monkey didn't lie, HOWEVER!, Wukong the sneaky shit didn't mention how he pissed on Buddha's hand. The monk may have pardoned him not knowing that, but I'll always remember his piss crimes(never forget never forgiven!). After Wukong freed and given +1 tiger skin, the dou are actually pretty sweet and nice to each other. Though it might be the high for Wukong being free again and Tripitaka feeling safe against worldly and otherworldly threats. That all changes one winter day when six bandits attack and Wukong murked them. Then the two argued over it and Wukong leaves. Thankfully not mad enough to make the monk into a meat patty, but I could argue and say Wukong got some time to get to know Tripitaka. The two been traveling more than a few days, enough time to start getting to know each other better and forming a bond. So! With that in mind, Wukong goes back to his mountain but makes a pit stop at the dragon palace(maybe a subtle I'm back) for tea. The old kings catch up and the dragon king reminds Wukong he's been given another chance to be a true immortal and on the path of good. Now pre havoc Wukong wouldn't gives two shits and leaves without a second thought, post havoc Wukong however...does care (a little) and decides to go back. Finally putting his all into this journey, even telling a unhappy Guanyin he's going back. He joins up with Tripitaka.....and gets tricked into wearing the headband. Now don't be mad at our monk cause when he stops Wukong does tries to kill him AND left him defenseless and alone. So the two learn some new things about each other and themselves.

Chapter 15:

Lost a horse and gain a dragon horse after the dragon horse ate the other horse. The boys couldn't do much so they called Guanyin, or Wukong convinced them after some talking.

Chapter 16, 17, and 18

(go a head and steal the meme. Share it with your friends and the world)

Running theme or joke that Wukong needs Guanyin help to take care of the problems in the way. Especially in chapter 16 after burning down a monastery and having a rather beautiful cassock stolen. But hey! Guanyin gets a free bear to guard her place.

Now for chapter 18! Everyone favorite idiot, Zhu Bajie!

I like the fact the family might have been cool with Bajie if wasn't eating them out of their homes, letting them see their daughter, actually taking care of her(poor girl was so sickly when freed!), and ya know being upfront with what he is and not lying to them. If he was upfront about who he is and showed he's trustworthy then maybe he could've gotten a wife. (I can see a retelling like this, beauty and the beast ess) But know idiot being idiot didn't do any of that and now got a terrifying monkey on his back. Well until Guanyin shows up while he was hiding from Wukong(that is a horror in of itself). Another party member! Whoo! Still no meat for you Bajie. Be bitchless and get bald like the rest of us. (Not me though, I'm just here for the ride like the dragon horse)

#journey to the west #sun wukong #jttw #xiyouji #zhu bajie #tripitaka #jttw book club #jttw bai longma #so much has happened since i last wrote for the book club #sadly I cant write more as life is dragging me away! #Though I'll say i finally wrote that horror story on Zhu Bajie a while back. I didnt like the ending so much so eventually ill rewrite it