#the visuals are so well tied to the story

[dlartistanon]

Shining and Nightingale: Connection, Plot Beats, and How Their Story Makes (Even) More Sense If You Read It As Romantic

Introduction

Belonging to the Followers faction, Shining and Nightingale were among the first 6* operators introduced at launch. With damage mitigation as their niche, Shining is a single-target medic who specializes in reducing incoming physical damage, while Nightingale is an AoE medic whose specialty lies in reducing incoming Arts damage. This post will delve into everything we know about them and how it's so gay, oh my god

Design Analysis

Upon first glance, you notice how they compare and contrast each other visually: Shining is dressed mostly in black, Nightingale in white. Shining has long, thin white horns that gently jut outwards, while Nightingale has thick, black horns that fold inwards. Shining keeps her hood on by default, giving her a mysterious and secretive appearance. She has dark brown eyes, Liz has light blue ones. Shining’s outfit is tattered and ragged, really giving off the vibe of a wanderer (a “roaming doctor”, as she puts it), in stark contrast to Nightingale’s clean and put-together attire. If you squint, Shining almost looks like a harbinger of death, whereas Nightingale is angelic. Both of them wear the insignia of the Followers, a Terran version of the Caduceus. Shining wears it on a necklace (and is the actual leader), while Nightingale has it etched onto her clothes. One of the black straps on Nightingale’s outfit also reads “The path to light is dark”.

The predominant colors in both their respective skins are the complementary blue and orange. Just as black and white are opposed, so is the contrast between blue and orange. Within Shining's Silent Night, there are flickers of red-orange accents in the form of crystals, while in Nightingale's Elegy, there is the vibrant blue of her bluebird and its wings/feather. Despite Shining’s skin being a summer/beach outfit, the overall atmosphere is foreboding, given the moonlit background, presence of crows/ravens, and color choices. The backdrop in Nightingale’s is very characteristic of Gothic settings.

The strongest theme tying both their designs (and stories) together is The Gothic, an atmosphere and aesthetic best exemplified and symbolized by moody, somber colors (often black) and the gnarled, twisted branches of dead trees found in both their designs, as well as pertinent cast. (We will discuss more on their narrative ties to The Gothic)

Nightingale is featured (alongside Myrrh) in the song “Spring’s Pulse”, while Shining’s song is called “Winter Absolution”. Spring and Winter are opposing seasons, different times in which life either flourishes or hibernates. Green and red (as well as blue and red) are contrasting colors, highlighting life and death. As well as white and black, often symbolic of purity and sin.

Additionally, one of the Latin verses in Shining's song translates to:

"Sing, my tongue, redemption. Of my flesh, the mystery sing. Of the blood, all price exceeding. Shed by my immortal being. Destined for the world's redemption. From a noble womb to spring."

Profiles/Voice Lines

For the longest time, the most we could gather from their past was that Nightingale was a victim, a prisoner, forced to heal others while captive and that Shining had rescued her before they came to Rhodes Island. She has a host of ailments that mere Oripathy can't be the sole cause for, including amnesia. Through other clues, we eventually learn that Shining had a connection to someone called "Confessarius" ("Confessarii" when referring to a group), something she is noticeably evasive and uncomfortable about.

Later, the mystery slowly began to unravel as many theorized that Shining herself was involved with Nightingale's imprisonment, evidenced by Liz drawing the similarities between Shining and her captors. A shared past dripping with intrigue.

It was these seeds that provided a tantalizing story of atonement, of redemption, from someone who had committed a terrible transgression against another, complacent in her pain and suffering, whom she eventually grew to care about--so much so that Shining decided to sever all ties to her former compatriots, slaughtering many and freeing Nightingale, running away together. Shining, disgusted with her actions, spending the rest of her life atoning for her sins, of which she feels she can never be forgiven for.

The juxtaposition of Shining, unyielding with her sword, covered in the blood of her once-fellow Confessarii, and her being exceedingly gentle with Nightingale as she leads her to someplace safe, away from that room, her captors, that tower, where they (she) can’t hurt Liz ever again. The fanon that Shining was complicit in what made Nightingale the way she is, and that she is currently atoning for those sins, was largely embraced by fans.

Nightingale’s Operator Record #1 - A Song and a Blue Feather

The Op Rec is a good showcase of the Followers dynamic (with Liz as the Lady and her two knights), but it also serves to show more of Liz's personality. We only get a very baseline interpretation of who she is as a person via her official file, but seeing her interact with Nearl and Shining gives us a clearer picture of just how strong-willed she is. She goes against Shining's warnings in order to soothe the pain of an Infected child, particularly because his father was inadvertently exacerbating his condition through what Liz calls "a cage of love" (foreshadowing?).

Throughout, we learn more about Liz's Arts, specifically that they give her empathic qualities and come with the drawback of shortening her lifespan every time she heals. The game-breaking ability to reverse Oripathy symptoms comes with equivalent exchange. Liz takes on the pain of others in order to make them feel better.

Near the end of the record, Liz asks if Shining is mad and to not blame Nearl for helping her. Shining's original call to avoid the town was born out of being concerned with Liz's health, but she admits that she should've respected Liz's decision. This is a stance that we then see get repeated in their future appearances in both side stories and the main plot--Shining prioritizing giving Liz agency, when she previously had none. Even when it results in Liz's condition worsening, something that Shining struggles with accepting at the same time, communicated through her asking Liz if her feeling more pain was necessary.

Nightingale’s Module #1 - Closed Hope

The module basically states outright that Nightingale views herself as a burden for having to rely on Shining and Nearl to help her navigate through life. This is another example of Liz's strong-willed personality peeking through.

"But for me, results speak loudest. Because I endured a little more pain, others can be born anew. This is very good. But… if I could be like ordinary people, without this physical pain, that spark of hope in my heart would surely shine a little bit brighter. Unfortunately, as I am now, I can only rely on others to survive. Like a light crystal in a lantern. Even if the lantern door is open, even if the light can bring warmth to others, the crystal itself is still fixed inside. It is fixed there, because it has no ability to move on its own. 'Nightingale, Nightingale––' I hope that one day, I will also be able to spread my wings and fly… just like the bird next to me. 'Nightingale, wake up already––' Until then, I must impose upon them yet more to take care of me.

...

'What's the matter, Shining?'"

In her Op Rec, she had even told Shining that if her legs had cooperated with her, she would not have asked Nearl for help, and that she would've gone out to heal that boy on her own. It's letting us know that she longs to be independent, and that she can't idly sit by as a passive observer when she has the ability to help others. Liz won't even let her own disabilities stop her from doing what she wants.

It's not a coincidence how Shining's presence in her module is represented by the analogy Liz uses to describe her predicament. Shining rescued her = the cage door is open. However, the crystal itself can't move = Liz's debilitating condition. Shining played her part in putting Liz in the cage to begin with. Shining is not only her savior, caretaker, and companion, there's a darker undercurrent as well.

Near Light

In Maria Nearl, Nightingale and Shining get a brief mention and cameo around the time Nearl crashes into the Major stadium. A connection can be made with Liz's Op Rec in which we evidently see that she and Nearl have a more physical (and arguably openly affectionate) dynamic compared to Liz and Shining. Before Nearl leaves to help her sister, we a get a brief look into her and Liz's parting conversation, in which Nearl assures Liz that she'll be okay and that Liz still has Shining with her.

In Near Light, where they get more screentime, we have the iconic Nearl and Nightingale slow dance underneath the streetlights. In the CG itself, Shining can be seen hanging back, sporting a smile. She calls Liz beautiful unprompted, which results in Liz getting a little bit flustered, already so from dancing with Nearl.

Beyond these instances fleshing out the NearLiz leg of the triangle, it's also a purposeful depiction of Shining intentionally distancing herself from Liz, presumably due to her guilt for her past actions. And how that can be extrapolated into Shining feeling as though she is unworthy to partake in that same kind of intimacy. This self-loathing mentality is once more reflected in Nearl the Radiant Knight's second Module--here's a rough translation:

"I suddenly felt a little regretful - after all, I have always hated my bloodline. I have never tasted the beauty of home and the meaning of family. She deserved to have it all, deserved to be noticed and blessed and I deserved not to be a part of it."

However, at the end of Near Light, we get the scene where Shining makes a decision to go back to Londinium with Nightingale, preparing us for their subplot with Confessarius. This exchange hangs over them like a cloud, as well as further cementing Shining's firm resolve to always remain by Liz's side, no matter her own misgivings about everything else. Even if the rest of the world is muddled in her eyes, the only thing that stays clear and in view, is Nightingale. Nothing else matters more.

Chapter 10-18

The depth of Shining’s feelings for Nightingale is truly something to take note of. "My place is always at your side" is practically a textbook subtextual/indirect confession. "I will always be at your side... for as long as you’ll have me." Because we must know that Liz has a choice. She will not impose her own wants onto Liz. Should the day arrive where Liz no longer wants her, Shining will honor it, as much as it hurts.

The way Shining navigates and conducts her feelings towards Liz in this manner is very reminiscent of the medieval concept of courtly love, which is essentially a kind of romantic love without ever imagining it to go any further. The lack of consummation is not only expected, but ideal. That the love existing in and of itself is satisfying.

The scenes where we see Shining holding back help supplement this reading. It also plays well into how the Followers are basically the "knight in shining armor" idea codified into three individuals with corresponding dynamics. For bonus points, courtly love has ties to spirituality, which coincides with another aspect of Shiningale's story with identity, fate, and their conflict with Confessarius.

The fact that Shining 's most immediate plans for the future all have to do with Nightingale is only the tip of her unending devotion. "I’ll stay with you, and go wherever you want to go, as long as you want me". And for Liz to quickly ask if Shining will come with her wherever she wants to go suggests that the love is reciprocated.

Chapter 11-10

Through a series of revelations, we discover that the current head of the Confessarii is Shining's father, who is possessing the body of her younger brother. And that Nightingale was an experimental subject whose physical body is a construct, making her the equivalent of an artificial human/homunculus.

The whole scene we see just how both Confessarius and Salus view Shining, Nightingale, and their relationship. As randmsapphic puts it, the method in which they talk about Liz as an object with a purpose and that Shining's attachment to her is nothing short of a phase speaks volumes as to how dismissive and strangely self-assured that Shining will come to her senses and do the right/rational thing and bring Liz back to help her. They entertain the notion of saving Liz by way of pushing Shining to return to them, because they are the only ones who can save her. Instead of immediately resorting to threats, they rely on manipulation, pulling the "family" card, preying on and weaponizing Shining's guilt and desire to help Liz. It's not subtle--this dynamic could very easily be seen as the reactions homophobic relatives would have.

In particular, Confessarius's fixation on bloodline purity is insanely creepy and not only comes off as very homophobic, but ableist as well. Him suggesting they can build Liz a new body is coercion to get Shining to obey him (which also implies that he thinks Shining's attraction to Liz is purely physical). Salus emotionally abusing Shining by saying that all of Liz's pain is Shining's fault. Attempting to shame Shining by claiming she abandoned her family for a stranger. Does it not have the vibes of homophobia saying that Shiningale's love/relationship isn't real and will never work?

Chapter 12-10

The way Shining utterly ties her sense of self-worth to Nightingale, literally describing herself as Liz’s sin… she will not refer to Liz with possessive pronouns, but will do it to herself for her. The longing, the guilt, the resolve, the codependency… is incredibly yuri. Back in Chapter 10, Shining has an exchange with the Nachzehrer King where she says the moment she was born, she had carried sin. After the dinner in Chapter 11, she tells a Confessarius soldier (before cutting him down) that she hates herself most of all.

Of all the ways to describe her relationship with Liz, Shining decides on "I am her sin". There is poetry in how she refrains from using any kind of possessive language about Liz. Shining belongs to Liz, but Liz belongs to no one. "I am hers, and she is everything to me". It goes back to how she somewhat keeps her distance despite the overwhelming devotion. "I cannot touch her with these sinful hands".

Shining truly exemplifies devotion. Whoever was responsible for writing Shining’s dialogue is pulling out all sorts of stops to have her express her love for Liz in every way without outright making her say the words "I love Liz".

Chapter 13-9 (unfortunately tumblr has an image limit so i can't cap the entire subchapter; you really should read it yourselves for that delicious Shiningale goodness)

Kal'tsit: The way you look at Nightingale isn't just with compassion. You're not just her doctor—she's healing your fears too. Her body has its issues, but she's a member of the 'Followers', as well as your companion, and not a delicate flower that needs your protection.

Nightingale: I'm fine, Shining. You don't have to look after me so meticulously.

More examples of Liz's strong character! A dynamic becomes even more interesting when the one you thought was less-dependent turns out to desperately need the other. By this point, you should know that Shining places Nightingale incredibly high up her list of priorities. The narrative makes it no secret. They continue to hammer home that, despite being her caretaker, just how much Shining is dependent on Liz. Liz has already internally talked about how she hates having to rely on Shining and Nearl because of her ailments. In her other appearances, she makes it even more apparent with her dialogue. While Shining mends Liz’s aching body, Liz is the one who soothes Shining’s hurting heart.

Confessarius: Poor 'Liz'. She think it's all her fault, because of the momentary kindness you showed her.

When you remember that Liz's Arts make her empathic to pain, it takes on another layer of meaning when she wants to take away Shining's suffering. It's reasonable to assume that Liz also had an attachment to Shining, even if you see it as such because Shining "brought her to life". But the vibe you get from her dialogue shows a strong affection and compassion for Shining. Arguably instinctive, considering the "nature" of who Liz originally was. A wandering spirit, a memory, a soul that was drawn to Shining because she felt her crushing pain and wanted to help her. An intangible presence given life by an achingly lonely and hurt individual.

Another post by randmsapphic suggests that Liz's "childhood memories" of her and Shining were in fact fabrications that Shining had imposed onto Liz, in some desperate attempt to have a connection with another person, which this scene confirms. Shining was so happy with Liz's creation that she quickly became attached to her. Is this a sort of twisted love/affection that was born out of Shining's self-loathing? Or her being born into a very dark and messed up lineage in which her fate is a doomed one, and so she latched onto Liz as a means of escape and a way to feel close to someone? It may have started off as such, but by the time we reach this point, the love grew to be genuine.

Remember in Liz's Op Rec, where she described the father hurting his son by keeping him in a cage of love?

The bluebird losing its strength the farther it travels away from home is a metaphor and reflection for how the Confessarii treat Liz, their experiment. This is the basis for her captivity. Combined with Shining's sudden shift into a cold demeanor when she had previously been warm to Liz, this only served to psychologically and emotionally damage Liz, as well as compound Shining's guilt for having continued to follow the wishes of her family.

At some point, prior to deserting, Shining had wiped Liz's memories, perhaps out of said guilty conscious, or a means to a fresh start, or even her own way to stop Liz from feeling any pain associated with those memories, but she was still afraid of what would happen should Liz recover them, which had been happening little by little. Shining had resigned herself to believing that Liz would hate her, would want nothing to do with her, if she ever found out the truth. She had to wrestle with the very real possibility that attempting to save Liz could mean losing her, or being separated from her. Shining never once saw Nightingale as a burden; she was only ever happy that Liz exists.

Credit to randmsapphic again: Every time Shining draws her sword, it's a viscerally unpleasant reminder of her eventual destiny. It's both the only way to truly free Liz, and is the bind that keeps her shackled to a doomed fate. When Confessarius offers her the sadistic choice between killing him (thus giving up her soul) or return Liz to captivity... what should she do? There is no choice here.

The way Confessarius keeps (creepily) phrasing it as Shining “giving birth” really does paint him to be a disgustingly vile patriarchal figure set on destroying not only Shining’s autonomy, but her life and relationship with Liz. How a woman is treated as an object, her worth limited to only serving as a breeding ground for the next generation. This read continues to make even more sense because remember the Confessarii dinner scene? The way they talked like they expect Shining to come home after having had her fun with Nightingale reeks of how society views lesbian relationships as not real/practice for men/just a phase. The proverbial Class S? Shiningale really is just Arknights-flavored Class S Yuri. If a Shining Alter has her pick up her sword again, it could very well symbolize her reclaiming her bodily autonomy and fighting for her love, and for the chance to have a life outside of what the patriarch(y) wants for her.

The more I read about the Shiningale in Chapter 13, the more I’m thinking that this can’t be anything else but yuri. Even the role Confessarius is playing as a villain/obstacle they have to overcome. A man getting between them by manipulating their feelings for nefarious purposes?

Liz telling Shining that she prefers her current name, how it encapsulates so much of who Shining is as a person; she's not just a means to an end for the Confessarii, she's more than what they've instilled in her since her birth. The Followers are all light-themed, and Shining is no exception. She broke Liz out of her cage and showed her the world. And Liz is the light of Shining's life, as was mentioned all the way back to her voiceline.

Liz telling Shining that she's always loved the name that she gave her... that she holds dear any and every part of Shining that's a part of her. Her gently chastising Shining for making the decision to sacrifice herself to save Liz... Don't give yourself up for me, especially without asking me. That's not what I want. For all the times that Shining made sure Liz knew she had a choice, this was the one time she didn't. Couldn't. And Liz won't have that. Whatever trials that await them, she wants to face them together with Shining.

The way Confessarius described Shining’s feelings towards Nightingale as “your rebellious love for her”. He knew that she would love Liz and factored that into his plan/manipulation of Shining. I don't know about you but… I don’t think there’s any other way to interpret that. No heterosexual explanation.

Realistically speaking, we know actual gay characters can’t make it past the censors unless it’s tragic (see Scavenger) or unrequited (see Tomimi). But Shiningale have like… playable immunity. It’s “implicit” enough to not trigger the censors but at the same time how can you not see it as romantic?

Their relationship is basically up there with Talulah/Alina. And I'd even go so far as to say that it's more explicit than Talulah/Alina. To my knowledge, they never used the word “love” to describe how Talulah felt about Alina. Just "friend". I know there's a point where subtext gets ridiculous enough to become maintext, but then that leads you to question why some get the "friends" label while others are allowed to use "love".

Could it be platonic love? Sure, of course you can love your friends. But would you pledge your entire life to a friend? What's so "rebellious" about loving a friend? (Interestingly, I think the JP translation calls it "immoral love", which is even more eyebrow-raising) Regardless, love exists between Shiningale. Confessarius knew it, and factored it into his schemes. He counted on Shining to love and cherish her. Shining loves Liz, that much is undeniable. And Liz loves her back, enough to stop Shining from sacrificing herself to save her. He's literally weaponizing the love they have for each other.

Shiningale and The Gothic

I had mentioned before that both characters' designs as well as the narrative beats of their story have Gothic literature elements. I want to make a list of the ones I could find that relate to them as characters and as a narrative:

A focus on medical conditions, doppelgangers (the "pure" Confessarii looking like each other), forbidden power/knowledge, the dichotomy between light and darkness, imprisonment, rebellion, isolation/seclusion, gloominess or a gloomy setting, the grotesque/macabre, terror/horror, justice vs revenge, good vs evil, fear and suspense, the supernatural/paranormal, female victims, prophecies/curses/omens, mystery and secrets, involvement of the clergy/religious figures (confessor/absolver of sin), the dead don’t stay dead/hauntings, romanticism

The Gothic hero is “weakened by love”, they either rescue their love interest or pine away in despair

Significance of blood (relations) and inheritance, the duality of giving and denying life

An examination of family structure, patriarchy, hereditary suffering

Dreams/nightmares, memories

Secrets, past sins, sins of the father, darkest deeds

Driven by love, duality of man (appearance)

Dwelling on the melancholy, of wistfulness and regret, but not overcoming kindness

Concept of “othering” from society (Shining split herself away from her blood family to be herself and with Liz, her chosen family

The protagonist’s passionate love is torn between his desire to achieve the beloved and the family’s disapproval, control, and choice. Gothic novels also tell the tales of love in vain. The lovers are parted due to the conspiracies of the people opposing them being together

Gothic sexuality is usually somewhat repressed—women are expected to be pure and somewhat helpless while men are expected to be quietly predatory. It's also patriarchal, with men making moves and women reacting to them

Homosexuality = the love that dares not speak its name. Repressed sexuality, forbidden desire

Female Gothic protagonists are often committed to justice, unwilling to compromise their values, loyal, respectful of others, curious, intelligent and devoted to their faith. Some are gentle, kind, likeable, clever, witty, quiet, supportive, thoughtful, hard-working, independent and strong. Others are courageous, witty, brave, determined, knowledgeable and socially competent. On the flip side, some are also strong-willed and outspoken to a fault. They’re often socially awkward, depressive, melancholy, brooding, solitary and selfish. Some are jealous, fiercely territorial, deceitful, powerless and deceptive. Others, like their male counterparts, are prone to violence

Male Gothic protagonists are often conflicted, solitary, tortured, brooding, and secretive, self-loathing, wracked with guilt, have a self-hate of their own existence

Female-centric Gothic stories often trend towards obscured/anticipated fears, focuses on persecuted women and the domestic space she risks entrapment within/disturbed spaces

Food for Thought

Ryuzakiichi has a knight original character. Tell me... this doesn’t just look like Shining without horns? THE RESEMBLENCE IS UNCANNY.

Knowing this, I'm convinced that he split the concept of a "knight in shining armor" into two characters: Nearl and Shining. Nearl embodies chivalry. Shining embodies devotion.

The followers dynamic can best be summarized as two knights swearing fealty to one lady, but what's interesting is that while Nearl is the most obvious depiction of a knight, it's actually Shining who serves the role even harder, because she is quite literally Liz's knight. Which tracks with how Shining looks nearly like a carbon copy of his OC. She's the one who rescued the princess from her tower, while simultaneously being the "wicked witch" who put her there in the first place. And just like a Gothic hero, is tormented and sees herself as a monster.

Comparison to the main plot of Shadow of the Colossus. The driving force is that Wander commits acts (largely agreed to be treasonous) in order to revive Mono. The relationship between Wander and Mono is left up to interpretation as to whether it's platonic, familial, or romantic, but most fans of the game seem to theorize that Mono is indeed Wander's love interest.

Normally I despise turning the Followers into a nuclear family unit in any direction (especially people saying Liz is a minor and infantilize her to be the designated "child"), but for a moment, seeing Shiningale looking at Nearl’s portrait, my brain interpreted them behaving like Nearl’s (substitute) parents being proud of her accomplishments.

This was not helped by stuff like Shining’s teasing ("Look at you, our knight acting snarky"), Liz asking if she and Shining were also Nearl’s family, and some apparent discussion about Mlynar being a "bad end" Margaret who lost his own light (his brother and sister-in-law, Margaret’s parents).

If Shining and Nightingale are to Nearl as Schnitz and Yolanta were to Mlynar, then that might also explain why he dropped his jerk behavior for one second just to compliment how the two Sarkaz were good for his niece. If Nearl had never met Shining and Nightingale, her own light might’ve gone out too...?

IN CONCLUSION

Shiningale are complementary in so many ways. It really feels like several aspects of their characters are tailor made to match; you can’t have one without the other, their development is tied together… soulmates. Hopefully this post helps encourage you to consider their story in a certain lens if you hadn't before.

To quote a CN post I saw on the matter after Chapter 13 was released (rough translation): "Shining's sword pieced Nightingale's heart, and Liz came alive. Liz's existence helped give Shining emotions. Liz became Shining's redemption. Shining renounced her old name and Liz cherishes hers, a transformation of two people choosing to fight and change their destiny. Although Liz is physically fragile, her spirit and will are very strong. Although Shining has excellent swordsmanship, her self-hate and inner turmoil weigh her down. They are truly complementary in every sense."

They each want to take away the other's pain. Shining doesn't want Liz to die. Liz doesn't want Shining to die for her. They are each other's mutual salvation.

#dl talks ak #arknights #shining #nightingale #tl;dr i'm not saying that romantic love is the true intent for their relationship #but that their story feels more effective if you do interpret it as such #it's a spiritual story about defying fate; but also a very yuri one #the beats of shining's self-hate; a patriarchal antagonist; heteronormative expectations; dismissal of their relationship; etc. #can just as well be applied to yuri; specifically of the 'class s' variety #I FINALLY WROTE IT

[carlyraejepsans]

Do you enjoy underfell? I thought you disliked aus /genq

i don't dislike the concept of AUs itself, I'm just not a fan of like... the subculture that spawned around them in the UT fandom specifically and how it eventually took over almost all canon content (especially when it limits itself to the bros)

i like aus visually! i am an artist at heart after all. it's just that, if I'm going to care about them as stories and not just fun design ideas, my bar is uhh almost impossibly high the further you move from canon lolol.

#uf being one of those! the story is centered on certain characters (mainly asgore) behaving very ooc #so as a stickler for canon I don't have much interest in it #but there is a very clear visual idea and motif in the redesigns that ties every character together very efficiently #and also fucks like a rabid rhino #so i can appreciate its visual/aesthetic aspects instead #i mean you can't understate the impact that good *artists* specifically had on the proliferation of aus back in the day #good writing is almost inseverable from good characterization because dialogues and characterization ARE an integral part #of what makes writing good. while good art (as much as it too is tied to its own conventions) is free-er from the bounds of accuracy #as was as being easier & faster to consume. writing has to be read first. you can just look at a piece of art and go ''wow that looks sick'' #without thinking about logical details/accuracy #you can show a pic of sans to an artist who's never touched the game and they might draw you the most gorgeous piece of art you've ever seen #it's significantly harder to do for writing #swap aus are a fun design challenge to see how you'd incorporate different aspects of some characters visual signatures into another #it's a game of translation of sorts. but if you want to treat it like a story well... the matter becomes a lot more complicated #answered asks #au tag

[tadpal]

nothing sillier than getting spooked by a folk horror. literally why i am hyping myself up to put the dog to bed bad things can't happen to me i don't live in yorkshire

#like folk horror is always so tied to place bc folk stories tend to be tied to place so literally. #NOTHING CAN HAPPEN TO ME I DONT LIVE IN YORKSHIRE <-mantras for cowards #my problem is that i love psychological horror ESPECIALLY the written type but im so susceptible to it #like its always so much scarier than visual horror to me just bc my mind kmows how to scare my mind so well #anyway thats whatever #okay to reblog. sorry if u live in yorkshire #tad talks

[ginkovskij]

my current last watched on letterboxd make me feel like an utter idiot because i gave three stars to los colonos* and first cow** and three and half to killers of the flower moon*** and then BOOM five stars to magnum pi that i didn't even like and reviewed with "thanks tom selleck for your magnificent moustache and hairy chest" 😔

#explaining the rating: #*i heard good praise of los colonos and sure had some brilliant photography not going to lie a great direction debut but the third act felt #not too well tied if it makes sense? #**another nice western which i appreciated despite not being a fan of the genre but not as much as i wished i would ): #very nice story and visuals i would recommend it actually #***killers of the flower moon was very!! good and turned my stomach half the time!! music brillant acting brilliant photography and #direction brilliant but i wouldn't watch it again so that's it #i would have liked to have some more focus on mollie and her family in general ): #notes of a countryside dandy

[heartbeatbookclub]

It's 2 am as I start this, and I feel the need to put pen to paper on this thought, so to speak, because it's something I think about with relative frequency.

This is going to be more of a personal musing on my experience with Doki Doki Literature Club, and why it had such an impact on me when I first played it, as opposed to any more concrete analysis, so I guess you can keep reading if you want to know more about me as a person and my overall personal relationship to it.

Something I think about often in reference to DDLC is its status simultaneously as a satire on visual novels and all of the tropes therein, as well as a love letter to that genre, explicitly. It's very readily apparent if you've played a good few "weeb" visual novels that it very much fits that bill. I think my first experience with it makes it especially funny in that respect.

To give context, I first experienced Doki Doki Literature Club like a month or two after it came out, in a Skype call (shows how old I am) with 2 or 3 of my friends. During this period of my life, me and this small group of friends spent lots and lots of time just hanging out in Skype calls like this, doing whatever we pleased, spending time well into the next morning just enjoying each other's presence and seeing what fun shenanigans we could get into on the internet.

One frequent passtime of ours was playing visual novels. Not just any visual novels, no; we went looking for the most low effort, mediocre, low hanging fruit of visual novels we could download for free. The goal wasn't to enjoy a good story, the goal was to find something amusingly bad, whether in cliched, awkward, lazy writing, or in sheer absurdity. I still do this sometimes, though it's admittedly with a different thought in mind now.

I don't think this perception we had of visual novels, being that they're typically sloppy, cringe-inducing messes is necessarily uncommon even now, but it was especially common back then. It was "weeb shit", simple as, but even deeper than your typical weeb shit. The perception was something like watching High School DxD unironically; it's just weird.

And I don't really think the perception of visual novels being that way is necessarily inaccurate; there is a very low bar to entry to actually creating a visual novel just by the nature of the medium, so really, anyone with enough passion for a project and time on their hands can make one. As a consequence, there are a few egregiously bad visual novels, there are a few really excellent visual novels, but there are a great many just sort of okay, somewhat mediocre visual novels, and lots of visual novels created with not so honorable goals in mind.

And one thing we really enjoyed was just exploring what existed in the depths of unpopular visual novels slipping through the cracks of what people saw. For most of it, we were making fun of it, but there were a lot of points where we found stories which were mediocre, but ended up really enjoying our experience with it. I think an important thing to understand with that lower barrier to entry is that it enables people who really are passionate about telling a story to tell a story that has a lot of heart, and you can see all of that heart as a diamond within the rough of the actual construction. Even in VNs with more polish, typically there are still cracks right around the edges, where you can see just a little bit of the humanity that goes into it. It's sort of magical.

And Doki Doki Literature Club was an odd edge case, which successfully played with all of my perceptions of it. DDLC is probably the only game whose story is reliant on a plot twist where I actually went in completely blind. By all appearances, it was a silly little visual novel made with no sense of irony, and I spent a great deal of time laughing at its contents, completely unaware that they were in on the joke.

And my perception of it being this way I feel like colored a lot of what happened next when I looked into it. I forget exactly when our playthrough ended--we didn't make it to any of the deeper stuff, I watched a Let's Play for that--and I forget how the whole series of events following that went, but somehow or another, I learned of some of the true nature. Namely I saw what happened to Sayori.

It reminded me of Corpse Party, when I actually thought about it.

I'm not going to go deep in depth on all of my thoughts about Corpse Party nor any of its history, but to be frank, Corpse Party reeeally sits in that realm of "mediocre, but lots of heart" to me. I don't really think Corpse Party is very good, particularly elaborating on a lot of the lore, but I really enjoyed it when I first experienced it, and it's still something I occasionally like looking back over. It's deliciously dark, and is extremely effective at creating an oppressive atmosphere out of what's ostensibly a collection of happy warm anime character tropes with little serious personality outside them.

So when I say that Sayori's death reminded me of Corpse Party, I mean that the way it paired playing the happy warm visual novel setting straight with extremely grim subject matter was done well.

Really, there were only a few other examples of this kind of media I could think of that really effectively utilized the exact kind of gut punch that DDLC did. Everything about the way the game framed itself around it, up until the final plot twist, really did feel like they were just elements of a visual novel playing themselves out. Sayo-nara really sets that tone for me--it still gives me chills sometimes when I hear it, because it sounds perfectly like what a "Bad Ending" theme for that kind of ending would likely sound like. It plays itself remarkably well into creating the setting, it really effectively feels like it is a normal visual novel falling apart at the seams.

I think that, more than anything, is why DDLC made such an impact on me when I first experienced it (which is remarkably different than the kind of mark it leaves on me now), it played so effectively with a genre I was so familiar with, and simultaneously played "mediocre visual novel with lots of heart" straight while also completely knocking "deep and terrifying existential horror" out of the park.

It's hard to truly describe, but there's just so much that feels so right about DDLC just being as it is. There's such a unique quality to the way it's written, to the way it's constructed, that goes down to its bones. It feels like that exact brand of junk food media you go to visual novels for. You don't necessarily want to think too deeply about the characters, or the setting of the story, or any of the deeper themes surrounding it; you just want to experience a nice story with some anime girls.

And then it yanks the rug out from under you, and makes you think it's junk food media with a side of deep and disturbing horror.

And then it yanks the second rug out from under that one, making you realize it's something much, much deeper.

I think something else it really appealed to, to me, was just that sense of being on the edge of the world which most indie games of that sort always give me. There are a shitload of examples I could give for this, but this sense I'm describing is the opposite of the sense which games like Undertale give me. Undertale's world feels lived in, it feels like it exists in a much, much wider concept of a great, sprawling world where billions of people live.

DDLC feels like you and the 4 girls in it are the only people in the universe. There are all of these environments you inhabit which ostensibly have other people who pass through them, live in them, there are implications of people, but inside this world, there's only you.

I think it just appeals to my desire to be transported to a complete other world for a little while. A limited space, where only things important to this experience exist, for this pure feeling of emotional catharsis. And that's something a lot of these sorts of simple visual novels appeal to; the goal isn't necessarily to tell some deeper story, it's just to present beats as they happen. DDLC takes that, and plays with it, both in a textual sense, as though these fictional characters exist and are somehow aware they're fictional, and in a meta sense, by directly playing around with your expectations and the way the entire thing is framed.

Or something like that.

Fun fact 1: Doki Doki Literature Club (specifically Sayo-Nara, still one of the few songs I can play entirely by memory) is what got me to start learning piano. I taught myself to play, and started mostly with the DDLC soundtrack (Which is very simple to play by ear, by the way, it's pretty much entirely C major.)

Fun fact 2: What initially inspired this thought was this video, which really reminded me of other visual novels we/I played that would utilize this particular style of music.

#musings #it's hard to really put into words the vibe i always get about it #it's something i'd really like to just capture in a bottle and keep stored somewhere #there's something to it that's inextricably tied to a lot of what my life was like when i was a teenager #there's a lot which is tied to what my relationships with people when i was younger is built on #there's a lot which builds the kind of person i am today both in writing and in personality #we're sort of just on this earth to experience shit #and this sure is something to experience #i think this is why i typically have such a 'meh' opinion about a lot of specific details to how things are constructed in fanworks #like dialogue and actions not being perfectly suited to how it would be written if it was canon #and i'm not saying i write like canon or that those are bad because they're not canon or anything like that #it's just like #i want SPECIFICALLY more of ddlc. so if you aren't specifically more of ddlc and are instead your own thing i'm not really that interested #not typically anyway #i feel like i'm losing a lot of what i want to say in translation #but i hope i've sorta conveyed a lot of my thoughts on the matter #as a visual novel i really enjoy ddlc and it really does play its genre well #and also as a story outside of the visual novel part i enjoy ddlc a lot #more regular analyses & thoughts coming soonish....... #shout out to me as a teenager lying on the floor listening to sayo-nara and feeling The FeelsTM for hours

[canonbisexualbuck]

eras tour setlist (detailed)

miss americana & the heartbreak prince (NOT full song)

cruel summer (chorus, bridge, chorus)

welcome/she's so happy to be on stage again + spoken introduction into

the man (full song)

you need to calm down (verse 2, chorus, bridge, chorus)

longer welcome speech, eras tour night 1, thanking fans for showing up & celebrating opening acts. telling crowd we're doing one era at a time!!!!

lover (full song) acoustic guitar

the archer (full song) + electric guitar solo for costume change

fearless (full song)

you belong with me (full song)

love story (full song)

video interlude - showing woods/trees - for costume change

'tis the damn season (verse 1, chorus, bridge, chorus)

willow (full song)

marjorie (verse 1, chorus, bridge, outro)

speech/ it's been so long that she's toured and so much has happened since (new albums + rerecordings) & she's missed us. says she loves evermore despite what people on tiktok think

champagne problems (full song) acoustic piano

introduction of new keys player

tolerate it (verse 1, chorus, bridge, 2nd chorus, outro)

snake video/visuals for costume change

...ready for it (full song)

delicate (full song)

don't blame me (intro, verse 1, chorus, bridge, chorus, outro) + extended outro leading into lwymmd

look what you made me do (full song)

snake visual + abstract pink/purple colors + enchanted audio intro for costume change

enchanted (verses 1 & 2, chorus, bridge, chorus, outro)

video interlude with red audio snippets

22 (whole song)

we are never ever getting back together (full song)

i knew you were trouble (verse 1, chorus, bridge, final chorus)

speech about the red album & taylor's version

all too well (full 10 minute song) acoustic guitar

interlude: spoken wildest dreams lyrics/spoken seven lyrics - for costume change

invisible string (full song)

speech talking about folklore album & wanting to do something different than autobiographical albums

betty (full song) acoustic guitar

the last great american dynasty (full song)

august (full song)

illicit affairs (bridge repeated twice, outro)

my tears ricochet (full song)

cardigan (full song)

interlude for costume change

style (verse 1, chorus, bridge, chorus)

blank space (full song)

shake it off (full song)

wildest dreams (verse 1, chorus, bridge)

bad blood (chorus, pre-chorus & chorus, bridge, final chorus)

interlude for costume change

speech - introducing surprise song & her goal is not to repeat any of these songs on tour

surprise song: mirrorball (full song) acoustic guitar

another speech at piano (my live cut out though so idk what she was talking about)

tim mcgraw (full song) piano acoustic

interlude - water/crashing waves turning into clouds

lavender haze (full song)

anti-hero (full song)

midnight rain (full song)

vigilante shit (full song)

bejeweled (full song)

mastermind (full song)

final song: karma (full song) + farewells & final bows

#i did my best to catalogue everything while also navigating nuked livestreams so it is what it is #taylor swift #eras tour #eras tour setlist #eras tour spoilers #summer makes a post

[fairuzfan]

academia is often used as the forefront of much of the violence inflicted on palestinians — for example in the library of congress, there is a collection called "the american colony of jerusalem" with racist photography and items that help visually perpetuate the "people without a land, land without a people" part of herzel's ideology, which itself is the forefront of much of zionist ideology. pointing out the systematic harm in academia is often considered "irrelevant" by zionists.... denies the origins of zionism as a political and academic ideology with physical consequences.

much of palestinian history throughout the last century has to do with erasure and silencing — that is how we got to this point. when i say no one listened to palestinians i mean NO ONE listened. they were ignored. all their demands were unreasonable. instead they get blamed for much of the world's unwillingness to listen. even my family members — i have stories of their work in academic resistance since '48. and some of them are well known contributions throughout euro-american and swana society. yet they're still ignored because of their palestinian origin.

"if you were just more reasonable" or "if you took the time to listen with compassion" or "you have to appeal to people's sense of reason" ignores the fact of the matter — this ideology's founding principals were built on "a people without a land for a land without a people." you cannot and should not ignore that. in order to complete the zionist ideology, you must remove the native population. therefore any subscribers to the idea of zionism are violent, whether they intend it or not.

and if it were true, that academia were irrelevant.... then that doesn't explain the systematic torture and imprisonment of writers and scholars, the exile of my family members who were journalists and activists, the captivity of friends for no other reason than they were deemed a threat by some list or the other.

oftentimes zionists, or zionist sympathizers, ignore our (diaspora's) material ties to the occupation and dismiss us as being "disconnected" from the "situation" in Palestine and "misunderstanding" or "misconstruing" israeli society. what am i misunderstanding exactly? that the origins of this "country" relies on violent displacement and exile? that for the past 75 years, that violence has not stopped once? that no matter what we say about the violence of zionism as an intrinsic aspect, it takes a secondary seat to the imagined realities of zionism?

therefore, anti-zionism is the logical conclusion for valuing palestinian lives. but what are the arguments against anti-zionism? that arab governments expelled jews from SWANA? do you think that's a result of anti-zionism? then you must not understand that palestinians are often treated poorly by the same governments that claim to have done this in the name of "anti-zionism," living in poverty in refugee camps, tortured and arrested, even in some cases exiled by governments. this also neglects to mention zionist collaboration with said governments to exile the jews of their lands.

so then, what?

if anti-zionism is the rejection of the settler colonial state of israel, which you must admit to be truly anti-zionist, then it is an exclamation of palestinian sovereignty and identity. so when you say anti-zionism and antisemitism are linked.... do you realize what you are implying? do you realize that zionism, the root cause of palestinian suffering, is the reason for our expulsion and displacement? so then when you write academic thinkpieces about the "complexity" of zionism, do you realize the harm you're doing? do you realize that this, in fact, is not a new or useful argument? that i've seen iterations of it for years and years? that at the core, the zionist ideology relies on this muddying of the waters for you to not do anything?

to be frank, your constant reminding of the complexity of zionism when people in palestine are suffering from the material effects of it only scream, to me, utter contempt and selfishness. zionism is violence, to me and my family. it is violence for every palestinian in this world. you must admit that to be a sincere advocate for palestinians, otherwise your words ring hollow. the present reality outweighs any possibilities.

#just been thinking about this for a while

[thesoftboiledegg]

"Unmortricken" was a lot. In fact, it might have been a little too much.

To start, I loved the glimpse of what exists outside the Central Finite Curve. The visuals were stunning and reminded me of M.C. Escher's drawings. The Jetson-like family was a nice touch--if anything can happen, who says they can't have different animation styles? All those colorful portals make me wonder what's lurking just out of sight.

It's also funny that the space outside the Curve is full of Rick's favorite thing: crystals. If he took a trip there, he'd come back with his pockets stuffed with gemstones.

Evil Morty's reappearance gave us a decent character study. Since he wasn't the antagonist, we saw him interact with the C-137s as a regular person. Morty's a little impressed, and Rick has a grudging respect for him. Others have called Evil Morty the Rickest Morty, and I agree: similar intelligence, similar technology and similar bloodthirst.

I was glad that he left in the end because that's what his character arc is about anyway. He doesn't want to be part of anyone else's story, not even another Morty's.

However, that's also part of the issue that I had with this episode. Seeing Evil Morty was great, but it was also a little...pointless? You could've had the same story without him. He's not working with Prime, and he has no ties to C-137 after "Rickmurai Jack," so it felt like the writers just said "Hey, you know what would be cool?"

I'm not against writers having fun and giving the audience what they want. "Spider-Man: No Way Home" (yeah, groan at me, Marvel haters) is fan service in blockbuster form, and it was one of the best theater experiences I've ever had.

Still, if Evil Morty came back, I think he should've had a separate episode. The episode juggled C-137 Rick, Morty, Evil Morty and Prime Rick pretty well, giving them satisfying interactions with each other, but no Evil Morty would've meant more relationship development for the C-137s.

Evil Morty's backstory also didn't reveal much about him. I mean--yeah, we all figured that he had an abusive Rick and got fed up. The fact that he had a "regular" Rick instead of a deranged lunatic does make a point about the banality of abuse. Monsters aren't always raving maniacs who torture people in their basements. Ordinary people can wear you down with a slow drip of toxicity and neglect.

I enjoyed this episode, and Evil Morty's return was exciting, but cramming the series' two biggest antagonists and storylines into twenty minutes was a little overwhelming. New plot developments kept showing up, too: Rick found Prime! Prime's various lairs! Omega device! I would've preferred a two-parter.

I'll admit that if you told me that we'd see Evil Morty and Rick Prime in the same shot, I never would have believed you, but here we are.

On that note, Prime's characterization was perfect. No attempt at a cutesy, sad backstory; he's a laughing monster until the end. And is it really the end? He has regeneration abilities, but C-137 acts like he's dead and even gives up the search. This leaves us with a few options:

C-137 killed him.

Prime fooled C-137 into thinking that he's dead when he isn't.

C-137's keeping him alive for later use.

Hopefully, this is more complicated than it looks because I'll be disappointed if this is the end of Prime. He's a brilliant reflection of C-137: the Rick he'd be without his tiny shred of humanity.

And Prime's a maniac, but he tells C-137 the truth. Rick broke into Prime's house. He pretended he belonged with this group of strangers. He latched on to Prime's grandson because he never had his own. His brutal, violent streak never went away no matter how long he tried to play house.

Prime says "Admit it! You would have been me!" In season three and parts of season four, Rick was close. His love for his family--love that he pretended he didn't have--and desire for their approval just barely pulled him back. But what kept that spark alive? How close was he to becoming a cold, unfeeling shell?

In the end, C-137's not satisfied after he destroys Prime--and weirdly, I'm not satisfied, either. Beating Prime to an unrecognizable pulp doesn't bring Rick's original family back. It doesn't erase the atrocities that Rick's committed. It doesn't make his grief go away. It doesn't change the fact that Rick teetered on the edge of turning into the monster that he despised.

What's more satisfying is that Rick didn't turn out like Prime. His Morty doesn't give two shits about Prime, but he loves him. He hugs him in relief (come on, Rick, hug him back already!), cries out "Rick? Rick!" and shakes his body when he thinks he's dead, and talks excitedly as they return home.

Rick's going to therapy, which Prime would have mocked. He went from having nobody to living with FIVE kids if you count Morty and Summer. Even he and his Jerry are pretty tight.

Rick knows this, but he still feels empty all the time. Vengeance doesn't work, drinking doesn't work...wouldn't it be easier if he just switched off his humanity and laughed at everything, even his own death?

But now that he knows how it feels to be loved, especially by his hypothetical grandson, I think he'll always find himself at the Smiths' doorstep.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #prime rick #weird rick #rick prime #evil morty #boy that's quite the collection of tags #unmortricken #season seven #review

[aphpuffinchild]

since it's out i can finally post my piece for @hws-anthology as well as the timelapse for it. as is arguably all my hetalia work, it's a love letter to my friend @pyrrhocorax 's fic Sendlingur og Sandlóa - i'll ramble a bit about how much it means to me, as well as the symbolism i wormed into this piece below the read more :)

i originally had two pages planned for this piece, potentially more - the fic is a good 74k words long and certainly not light on scenes i could and wanted to pull from, but various things led into other various things and one page was all i could manage, so i tried to cram in what i could, so here's that (in a rough, somewhat arbitrary order of focal points)

the opening chapter! the car is a framing device for the piece as much as it is for the journey the characters will take following that first chapter, so i wanted to use the car window/shapes as a literal framing device in my drawing

joi, shaky at best in his sense of self, sees no reflection in the window, instead there's a silhouetted raven to signify the search he must go on to find it

while not perfectly transcribed by virtue of wonky (plus an extra) line(s), the notes coming from joi's headphones are the opening to the song sendlingur og sandlóa, the fic's namesake, which a loved one kindly transposed by ear for me for the purpose of this piece

in a similar vein, the stickers on joi's suitcase are of a purple sandpiper and a ringed plover, the birds after which the song is named - here they are as transparents and in their original colours

i wanted to create a sliiight impression that joi is the one knocking over the chessboard, representing his repeated rejections of it (both physically, and the things it represents)

the chess pieces were also chosen specifically! originally i was going to use a black rook and a white pawn to match chapter 41, but for the sake of having alternating colours and the rest of my metaphors working (iirc) i swapped those colours around. that, and i wanted to match chapter 13's white king and black pawn - the black pawn stuck, the white king was colour swapped for colour cohesion reasons like the other's. (visual contrast was important to me, but the white queen blending slightly into the sky was okay for symbolism reasons) (there was also black king, white rook from chapter 3, so it all worked out anyway - there's a lot of chess in this story and i only had space for so many pieces and colours, basically)

speaking of which, the black pawn is for joi (chapter 13), the white queen is for halle (someone who, from joi's perspective, can go anywhere, vs joi's pawn, someone to be used -> see chapter 35 and perspective).

the king piece is falling (but hasn't quite fallen) between halle and henrik (chapter 3, 7, 13, though i most clearly thought of 19)

the person in the top right corner is eduard! i desperately wanted to include him because i think he's deserved it, and i considered a lot of ways of working him in, but i think an ambiguous silhouette that isn't Quite part of the main picture works better narratively

note also that he's separated from the other's through a red curtain, to represent the iron curtain (naturally) i wanted it to match ber + tino's part in some way, to sorta emphasise their similar foundations despite being split apart across places

the flowers at eduard's window are placed and chosen purposefully as well! orange/red zinnia's outside (for familial ties, steadfastness, friendship and remembrance) for what eduard puts out in to the world, then lily-of-the-valley for tino and cornflower for him inside to show what he wants to hold close :)

halle and joi are the only characters with their eyes open - halle looks towards the viewer/author/reader/joi, while joi looks away all together. if you've read the fic (which i assume you have because i can't imagine this is interested to read otherwise) you probably don't need me to explain why that reflects their roles in the story

similarly, every character apart from the brothers is turned towards another in some way (eduard does not count when his flowers do, and his role in the story is based around that disconnect partially anyway) tino towards ber and eduard (and hana, i guess), ber towards tino, henrik to halle, halle to henrik (though he looks away - his values are elsewhere even when they are together). joi, at best, looks at his own reflection in the window

the colour scheme, while arbitrarily picked from gradient maps based on what i felt "fit" has been approved by the author as being very "SoS core"

finally, the poem on the note, chapter 46

all that being said, i can and will now talk about my personal relationship with SoS, so unless that interests you i imagine the post is done now! thank you for reading :)

the first comment i posted on SoS is dated 2nd November 2016 - logging into my old account i can see i bookmarked it on the 31st August that same year, so i can safely assume i first read or at least found it then. a month after my first comment, i posted another on a different account, pouring a few bits of my heart out and the author responded! we went back and forth a bit and eventually talked (i think) via tumblr for a little, but the majority of our conversations were via skype for whatever reason (we didn't call, just texted). it was a lot of me looking for writing advice, insight to their work/process/skill, talking about The Brothers and talking about psychology/the brain on a general and personal level. i think if i read our conversations back now i'd cringe, given that i was an awkward, fumbling 16 year old, but i dont think anything else wouldve been fitting given the subject matter. eventually our conversations fizzled out and we stopped talking for years, but i'd go back to SoS routinely and cry.

in may of 2021, i posted another comment during what in hindsight was definitely another relatively minor mental health episode - i think it was half trying to emphasise how important the work was to me on the off chance pyrr saw it, and half a bid for connection since i had no idea if they even remembered us talking. i assumed nothing would come of it, and for about a year that was true - until pyrr responded after all in february of 2022 - i'm happy to say we've been talking consistently on discord since then. i feel a little weird speaking too intimately about our friendship as it is now since it's not just my story to tell (though pyrr, if you're reading this) (i'm sure you are at some point) (you're welcome to talk about it however, i just didn't want to without consulting you) but i can say with some certainty that it's at least a little bit my fault that we have a sequel now - cementing my place as official number #1 fan and validating the me from almost 8 years ago in a way i don't think either of us processes well.

it's here that i feel the need to talk about my other dear friend, @hws-lceland , who i'm grateful to have met through the zine's discord server. i'm sure they're reading this too, and a lot of what our relationship means to me is stuff that's probably a bit too vulnerable for either of us to speak publicly, but i *can* say that i love them very much, and i'm really grateful to have someone else to understand, and that he read SoS for me. i thought he needed it, and i hope i was right

sendlingur is...endlessly important to me. i'm aiming to not write an essay here (a goal i think i've already sorta shot in the foot) but i think it's important for me to talk about some of this a little loudly, all the same. my writing has changed because of the series - remeeting with pyrr and showing them some of my more recent work was interesting since it was apparent even to them the influences i'd taken (to be fair, in one section i explicitly asked and did borrow a format of theirs, but this goes beyond that). when i was 16 i asked my mum to read the fic in a desperate bid to be understood. i've cried reading the fic many, many times. i've signed off letters and poems with my switched around version of i'm sorry / thank you / i love you (i swap the first two around) many, many, many times, including in a close friend's wedding gift. SoS has very sincerely changed my definition of love. the name halle is a part of my abstract mindscape. id already considered changing my name to johannes anyway and this fic certainly didnt help. i've gained a friendship of 7 and a half years through it. i've gained another newer one now, too. i am not well. i wasn't well then, reading it, and it hasn't fixed me (i am worse, now, arguably), but it healed something, or at least made me feel understood. i could go on, and maybe sometime i will (there were so many things i wanted to include in my piece and pay homage to!), but for now i will thank anyone who took the time to read all this (again), and say that i look forward to experiencing the sequel

as always, i'm sorry, thank you, i love you

#hetalia #hetalia nordics #hws iceland #hws norway #hetalia iceland #hetalia norway #hetalia denmark #hetalia sweden #hws sweden #hws estonia #hetalia estonia #hetalia finland #hws finland

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

Yes, we have a lot of December left, but I don't think anything else I want to check out will air before 2024 hits (it's cdrama so caveat is - you never know.)

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it's not on the list. This was a pretty good cdrama year, all in all.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

30 legend of twin flower - Not dignifying that drama with capital letters, as the only capital that should be associated with this is capital punishment - which is what watching this feels like.

29 Dominator of Martial Gods - sounds like a bdsm gay porn title. Would probably be better acted and written if it was.

28 Beauty of Resilience - you'd need a lot of said resilience to sit through this incoherent, barely acted mess. The thing that I remember the most other than my annoyance is all the jingly-jangly head gear on JJY. Perhaps they could have sold some of them and spent the money on a better script.

27 Divine Destiny - if you think you have too many brain cells and want to get rid of some, boy do I have a drama for you!

26 Wanru’s Journey - honestly it's probably tied with SEL - I mean it's worse but it has actors who are nowhere as well known and a fraction of SEL's budget. Still, this is a big fat nope. I will not say what I think of Aoi Rupeng's "acting" or I'd have to put money in the curse jar.

25 Snow Eagle Lord - Gulinazha's stone face, nonsense plot, terrible CGI. Take your pick as to why this is terrible.

24 Scent of Time - it was uneven but fun but then that ending was dumb enough to destroy the whole thing. Show me on the doll where common sense hurt you, makers!

23 Royal Rumors - Jeremy Tsui and Meng Ziyi are utterly wasted in this nothing trifle of a drama.

22 Legend of Anle - I had high expectations but alas. This is the drama version of color beige. There is nothing offensive about it but nothing good either. Mediocre actors are mediocre, good actors become mediocre, this is just a waste of our finite time on planet earth.

21 Romance on the Farm - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like this wholesome slice of farming family life, but it's tailored to trigger every one of my "nope" opinions.

20 Back from the Brink - if I were 12, it would be my favorite thing. I am not 12.

19 Journey of Chong Zi - objectively a terrible drama with plot holes the size of Mars and a leading lady whose face has apparently frozen when the wind changed. But I am a total sucker for the trope of upright shizun falling for his demonic disciple and going mental so here we are. Objectively, garbage, subjectively my precious!

18 Love you Seven Times - just call poor Ding Yuxi "Atlas," he carried this mess so hard.

17 Blooming Days - trashy dogblood harem fight fun throwback. It's not that great (and the fact that it was shredded doesn't help) but it's probably the last gasp of that genre for the foreseeable future, so I am grading on a curve.

16 The Starry Love - a fun fantasy where the secondary OTP stole the thunder but overall a really solid fantasy xianxia romance.

15 The Longest Promise - it could have been better - the secondaries were unbearable and there was too much of them and what they did with Alen Fang's character still gives me rage fits, but the main couple was impeccable and lovely and I rooted so hard for them.

14 Chang Feng Du/Destined - visually gorgeous, solidly acted, impeccable first half. Bland as hell second half. Win some, lose some.

13 Circle of Love - this drama is a nonsense trash heap on fire. After a typhoon hit it. It was also the most entertaining, addicting drama on this whole list.

12 Hidden Love - the sole modern on this list, this story has barely any plot but it made me care about the young, decent lovers so hard.

11 Choice Husband - starts out wacky, continues with angst and blood and happy ending. I loved it, but I've always had a soft spot for melo and schemers turning devoted.

10 Pledge of Allegiance - bromance, super solid acting, visuals, a really dark take on officials and the world. Insanely underrated.

9 Provoke - a truly fun Republican revenge and love tale, showing that short format can be wonderful.

8 Gone with the Rain - some of the secondary characters are rage-inducing (hi there, cardboard boy!) but the scheming, ruthless, vulgar FL is amazing and her slowburn with her age gap general who is delighted by her out-there-ness is great!

7 Wonderland of Love - Fei Wo Si Cun goes wholesome and the result is surprisingly entertaining. Battle couple, glorious visuals, a fast paced plot. It's the first Xu Kai drama I enjoyed in years (and he plays a rare cdrama ML it would be pretty neat to pair up with in rl.)

6 My Journey to You - that ending is infuriating (and I am OK with open endings if done properly) but what a visual feast, probably the most gloriously shot drama on this list, and that's a tough competition. Also it packs a hell of a lot of couples and familial and adversarial relationships into its slim running time; assassin lady won over by a gentle man is my favorite trope and so this is extra great.

5. Till the End of the Moon - the ending is a rage-inducing disaster for me, but this drama was the most incredibly emotionally intense, visually eye popping experience. It was deeply flawed but when it was amazing, it was like nothing else in its visuals, its characters and its narratives. It took insane risks; some paid off and some did not, but it was glorious.

4. Story of Kunning Palace - I don't often care for reverse harem stories but this one was such fun - the main OTP was glorious (strong FL, unhinged ML) but honestly everything about this was just so excellently done.

3. The Ingenious One - the most adult drama on this list. Smart protagonists, intelligent plot, emotions that felt true, this is a revenge and a mystery and found family and goes into so many directions you do not expect (Su Mengyu's PTSD after his first kill - that is something you never see in dramas, definitely not prolonged and profound - not like this.) If I was to say which drama was objectively the best on this list, as opposed to favorite, it would be this.

1 (tie) Lost You Forever 1 - this is an exquisite emotional jewel of a story about damaged people moving forward, with damage always present - their past informs their present and always will. The narrative about Xiao Yao and three very different men in her life makes me think that it's an equivalent of a neutron bomb going off right before the main narrative starts and now we are watching the survivors wander in the wreckage. This is very high fantasy setting but it's one of the most emotionally human narratives out there.

1 A Journey to Love - everything I ever wanted - assassins, ride or die adult OTP with genuine believable conflicts, great and complex secondaries, beautiful fights. Oh, and yeah Liu Shi Shi domming the hell out of every man in a ten mile radius, as she should.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It's a tie between Lost You Forever Part 1 and A Journey to Love. LYF1 is a bona fide art piece but it's only part 1 and who knows if part 2 will be any good (seeing the huge ep number cut, I have my doubts) and so it's incomplete. AJTL is an old school wuxia romance with incredibly competent, adult people in love and great cast of secondaries. I can't pick.

WORST DRAMA

romance of twin flower - this is a drama that should not exist. If I could hex everyone involved with it, I would. It's a terrible, stupid, shrill, badly acted drama to start with, but where it really is catapulted into stratosphere of horror is that is took my very favorite non-danmei web novel of all time, a smart and complicated tale with incredible protagonists and turned it into that barftastic abomination. Peng Xiao Ran kept making horrible drama after horrible drama but I kept giving her a chance because of Goodbye My Princess but after this disaster, I've had to accept GMP was a fluke and she is on my "if she's in it, I am out” list. Ding Yuxi is not that far yet (his performance in Seven Lifetimes was the one thing carrying that mess afloat) but he's on freaking thin ice. Anyway, I like to pretend this drama does not exist.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

It was hard because there were so many I loved this year - Deng Wei's traumatized, gentle Seventeen from LYF1 (if someone told me I'd swoon and weep for a character played by Deng Wei, I'd have told them to examine their brains asap), Liu Yuning's incredibly capable, deadly, contained Ning Yuanzhou from AJTL, Zhang Linghe's unhinged Xie Wei from SoKP, Chen Xiao's schemer with a heart Yun Xiang from TIO.

But ultimately, it couldn't be anyone else but Luo Yunxi as Tantai Jin/Demon God/Ming Ye/Cang Jiumin in Till the End of the Moon. He was everything - a demon, a saint, a martyr, a monster, a tormented abuse victim, a savior, joyful, unhinged, smart, pitiable. It was the cdrama performance of the year for me. Luo Yunxi even in a mediocre role is impressive but in a complex (series of) role(s) designed for his strengths, he is a force of nature.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Yao (Lost You Forever Part 1). Once again, there were runner ups - Bai Lu's smart a little evil FL in Kunning, the gloriously unhinged assassin domme Liu Shi Shi in AJTL, Esther Yu's assassin longing for a different life in MJTY etc etc etc. But Xiao Yao's damaged, difficult, very self-aware woman stole my heart. I was skeptical going in because I haven't enjoyed a Yang Zi performance in a long time, but she was the wounded beating soul of this incredible drama.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Where do we start? How about all of Seventeen's (LYF1) monster family? His brother, who tortured him for years physically and emotionally to such a degree his body is a horror map and his personality is permanently altered because "mommy liked you better." Psycho mother who created a situation where the kids were going to turn on each other and "let's get my grandson raped" grandma. Where is a well-placed meteorite when you need one.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xiao Yao/Seventeen, LYF1. Yes, a ship of characters played by Yang Zi and Deng Wei is my favorite. Leave me alone, I am on my tenth helping of crow already. They are both incredibly damaged, barely functioning survivors who find what they need in the other - he finds a savior and someone who sees him as a man and rebuilds himself around her and she finds someone who will always put her first and only, and subsume himself in her. Is it healthy? No. Does it make sense for them and is it making them slowly functional? Yes.

Runner up: Ren Ruyi/Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL - two adults, so competent, so chemistry full. She has so much damage and so little normalcy but is so strong and he is oddly gentle (in between murders) and incredibly self-reflective. They are each other's mirrors and I love them.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Su Mingyu/Ke Menglan, The Ingenious One - the idealistic merchant who wants to join jianghu until he sees its horrors firsthand and a slave entertainer who wants security but decides she wants him more. They are gorgeous and glorious and wholesome and I adore them.

Runner up: Liu Gong Quan/Ming Zhu, The Ingenious One - that drama was a shippy gift, especially impressive considering it wasn't even romance-centric. He's the officer who has to bring down her treasonous father but loves her. Delicious.

Another runner up is Chao Feng/Qian Kui, the angelic good girl and the scheming bad boy in The Starry Love. They stole the drama from the main OTP for me.

NOTP

Scent of Time endgame. What the hell was even that. It made NO sense.

FAVORITE SCENE

So many good scenes this year - Tantai Jin taking apart Li Susu in prison in TTEOTM, the OTP fighting in perfect sync and insane rhythm in the gorge battle in AJTL, Chen Ruoxuan's character stopping the execution in Pledge, Yan Lin's coming of age in Kunning, the poison/antidote "gamble" in MJTY, Cang Xuan detoxing in LYF1. But I think ultimately, me being who I am, my favorite scene is Xiao Yao kissing Seventeen's damaged, scarred knee to show he is in no way inferior for her. AAAAA!

In terms of pure jaw dropping visuals tho nothing will ever beat Ming Ye’s battle against the Devil God in TTEOTM.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL. He's sexy as hell (that height, that way he moves in battle) but he's also so incredibly competent, so adult, so self-reflective and so attracted to a woman for her strength. He also gets whumped on the reg. Anyway, my hormones are ready.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You) - I loved the unhinged, brocon poison boy. He was everything. Also Yan Lin (Kunning) - talk about sunshine; I totally got why all these people felt they needed to save him.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

My Journey to You - what the HELL was that ending?

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

legend of twin flower - that is, stab it with scissors like it stabbed the novel until it's dead.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Till the End of the Moon - they clearly cut stuff to fit into the new regs about runtime and it made the last 1/5 rather abrupt. Gimme!

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

The emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country!

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

This is the year of a ML who yearns to be dommed by his FL. Long may it continue.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

The Legend of Anle - the novel had a great plot, the cast were all actors I either enjoy a lot or somewhat and we got - whatever that soggy piece of wonderbread toast was.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

LYF1 - I only checked out to mock because nobody could explain the story to me and nobody in the cast did anything I like either ever or in years. And then I fell utterly and completely in love and had to eat so much delicious crow.

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

Ancient Love Song is the only one on that list. It looks really good, I just need to brace myself.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

The Imperial Doctoress - best slowburn and pining and glorious character development and adult leads.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Anticipating any nonaired cdrama is a mug's game but if they air, I will definitely check out all the Fox Matchmaker dramas, LYF2, JoL2 and The Last Immortal. If Prisoner of Beauty ever is allowed out of the vault (dubious), it goes on the list too.

#cdrama #lost you forever #a journey to love #till the end of the moon #my journey to you #choice husband #provoke #the starry love #the ingenious one #wonderland of love #story of kunning palace #gone with the rain

[spiderpussinc]

Just a reminder since im seeing a lot of people who don't regularly read comics get tripped up on things: the Spider-man 2099 (1992) comics are NOT canon!

And this isnt due to a recent change or anything. As soon as it ended (with multiple characters dying, things being destroyed) the character of miguel went on to be retconned and reworked multiple times by his own original writer (who was dissatisfied with the state of things) and OTHER writers (who thought They could fix it).

Case in point; one of the first series after the shelving of the 2099 universe featured Miguel's 1992 timeline being quite literally *stopped* on its tracks during the first week -- before any of the other events could happen -- and had him walk out of it to join a multiverse group called the Exiles. His 2014 series reboot by the original writer also ignores 90% of the events of that series, like keeping his mom and tyler stone alive etc. Separate oneshots focused on Miguel during a few marvel events also pretty much focused on the concept of trying to reboot and fix the 2099 universe so these events "were not set in stone" or "could be changed at any time" -- and this isn't by mistake.

Miguel's latest appearance (in yet another reboot oneshot series) seems to be based on his movie visual but with 0 ties to the previous series or references to atsv itself, since at the time the movie wasnt out yet. They just wanted people to know they'd be trying again (yet again!), and it remains to be seen what will be done next.

The 2099 comics are not canon to ATSV. They are barely relevant to marvel comics. The 2099 comics, starting all the way up with the original 1992 one, are littered with all manner of racist stereotypes and cultural mishandling on part of the white author, that aged pretty badly pretty quickly. Marvel is trying to pretend they didn't happen. Miguel's 2014 comics briefly, and insistently, also tried to pass him off as a white man (he was called "Mike" for a period) which was backpedalled when it didn't work.

*You are not obligated to read these comics to understand ATSV Miguel.* ATSV Miguel was created in collaboration with actual latinos to have his own, separate, improved story. (A few interviews have stated his characterization stems from Oscar Isaac's experience as a Cuban Exile) He is visually distinct and the artbook implies his 2099 universe is built from the ground up, set apart from the comics as well.

This isn't new. Miles from the ITSV movie is also completely removed from his original universe (where among other things, his mother gets killed by venom and the avengers are assholes) which is a long way of saying TL;DR --

Don't worry about wading through Miguel's garbage if you don't want to. Half of the people and events in these books have had no effect or staying impact on canon, they are snapped out of existence at will. And absolutely don't let anyone guilt you into reading these comics to prove "you're a real fan" when the MOVIE ITSELF does not give a shit lol

#across the spiderverse #atsv #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #atsv miguel #marvel comics #my spider stuff #oscar isaac #itsv #into the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #ON THE CONDITION HIS CHARACTER NOT BE BORING #Aka oscar is a real one. btw #long post #long reads #miles morales #atsv miles #meta tag

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐄𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Pull Me Closer

Every year, he joins the old tradition of traveling, where his ancestors have once ruled the skies. Every year, he meets familiar faces and new ones he's never seen before. Every year, he watches how his brothers find their mates, build their families, and introduce new generations to stories as old as time. But this year, something might be different. This year, there's you - a treasure worth more than he could ever offer.

Tags/Warnings: Dragon!Jungkook, strangers to lovers/mates, mentions of folklore and traditions, modern fantasy, romance, human?Reader, Fluff, Courting, MC kinda wary of kook at first, but he's cute give him a chance pls

Additional Chapter Warnings: tensioooon, the hunt is near, some steamy action that made me hit my desk

Length: short, tumblr hates long evocation updates for some reason

A/N: There is no taglist. I continue to force you to eat the dragon!kook meal, so you better finish your plate or there wont be any dessert. Also there is no taglist.

-> Masterlist

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It's hot this year.

You're usually not this bold with your choice of clothing, but the heat pretty much forces you to dress a bit more revealing as to not overheat- simply summer dress and underwear already feeling as if it's too much under the blazing sun. It makes most dragonkins laze around and bathe in the warmth of the giant star up in the sky, soaking up the sunlight as if they're some cold-blooded lizard recharging their energy and upping their body temperature.

It's funny how some instincts never leave, even if your body isn't the same anymore.

According to legends and some research, dragonkin had been, at some point, actual dragons- their blood slowly becoming less and less pure as they began to fall in love with the human kind. Their bodies changed, becoming less distinguishable from one another, as nowadays, only little hints remain in their visual appearance. It's honestly best seen in Jungkook, as you watch him push his hair back out of his eyes, beads of sweat rolling down the side of his face. He's tall, muscular but not too much so, with sharp eyes and traditional ink underneath the skin of his arm. It's not too different from a regular human- it's more so the way he carries himself, the way his instincts seem to lead him.

And yes- he's also got that very distinctive spot on the back of his neck- similar to you, and all of the other dragonkin around.

It's called a dragon's burn- a story as old as time saying that it's the soul of the last living dragon-mother burning her mark into the skin of a newborn, so she can still find her children amongst the humans. And while there's no actual proof or rather explanation from science as to why this mark appears or how it forms, its also said to determine one's personality and future, depending on it's shape, size, and position.

You've got your eyes closed as you soak up the sun as well now- dragonkin practically immune to sunburns, which is another thing that's still being researched. You're softly swinging from side to side in the hammock, one leg dangling out when you notice steps coming closer. By now, you're not worried about it anymore- it can really only be one person seeking you out.

He's not talked to you since you'd offered him the bracelet- you wonder if he still wears it.

There's a hand around your ankle, and your eyes open at that as you watch him, his gaze on you. He's looking at you a little differently today- not so bold anymore, not as fierce as usual. There's a certain softness to his eyes that you've not seen before- but you feel oddly comforted by it, as his fingers run over the soft skin of your leg. It's now that you notice the bracelet still hanging around his wrist, securely tied as if he didn't even think about how to open that knot ever again.

Maybe because he really doesn't intend to do so.

"You make me want to join you." He chuckles, watching as you stretch your arms above your head before relaxing again.

"I doubt the hammock can hold both of our weights." You respond, and he grins.

"If Yoongi and his mate can have sex on this thing, I'm sure it can handle us both simply cuddling on it." he comments, and at that you shoot upright into a sitting position.

"On this thing?!" you ask, scandalized, and he can't help but laugh openly about your face full of shock. It's a nice laugh- it's free, open, honest. You like it.

"I don't think it was this specific one." He reassures. "Or maybe. They probably cleaned it though, don't worry." He says, before he holds onto it, making you lean back as to not be forced too close to him.

"I- did not agree to the cuddling part though.." You stammer as he climbs in without really asking any further, moving around and boldly using his strength to push and move you into a comfortable position in his arms- and despite your vocal protest, you can't help but scoot a little bit closer than he'd placed you, leaning halfway on his body as he chuckles.

"Well it sure doesn't feel like you're too upset over it though." He offers, and you're quiet- because you're not sure what to say. It takes a moment or two before you point towards the bracelet around his wrist- his hand on his chest close to you as you tap one of the wooden beads.

"M' sorry about that one, by the way." You mumble disappointed.

"Why?" He asks, genuine surprise in his voice. "Did you not want to give it to me?" He worries, but you shake your head.

"No, I wanted to.. you know, give you something." You shrug. "But this thing sucks. It looks awful." You say, and his hand instead reaches out to hold yours now, thumb running over the back of your palm.

"It's made by you." He offers. "You've put effort into it, and I appreciate that." He tells you, and you shrug.

"You can be honest." You say. "It looks-"

"Like a gift given to me by my future mate." He says, and at that you freeze. It's the first time he openly calls you a future mate- even though he's not given you anything in return yet. "Let's not dwell on it for now, okay?" He asks, and you shrug. "Let's just exist for a moment. I just want to hold you." He says, and at that, you nod, before you lean in closer.

Soaking up both the sun- and the warmth of his skin and body next to yours.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

The first preparations for the festivities are in full force, but tonight, things are still calm and easy.

Some are still hammering together the stages and booths, nails hit into wood in a steady rhythm, while others have gone to bed early. You yourself are still sitting outside- air cool now, refreshing as some insects chirp somewhere in the distance.

In a way, you dread the next two days. Because it'll be the last, and then you'll be back in the loud, bustling city full of noise and stress.

Someone sits next to you on the edge of the stage, a sigh escaping him as he looks at what you're watching. "It's nice like this." He comments, nodding to himself. You nod as well.

"I don't want to go home yet." You mumble almost more to yourself than anyone else- but he still hears you.

"You don't have to- not yet." He tries to lift your mood. It works only a little. "Dont let the thoughts of what's to come ruin what you've got right now. That's what my mom always says." He playfully shoves his shoulder against yours. "But- that's not actually why I wanted to see you." He suddenly says, jumping down from the edge of the stage, pulling something from the pocket of his pants. It jungles distinctively- a high sound indicating a small bell of some sorts, and his hands are almost hesitant as his fingers wrap around your bare ankle.

"Dont think I've forgotten.." he starts, and you can't help the goosebumps that erupt from the way his hands pull you closer by your leg. "...or that I have chosen someone else.." he tells you, gaze sharp and fierce again as he watches your every reaction from his position. He reveals the delicate, silver anklet that he's got, wrapping it around before he uses a small pair of pliers to bend close one of the chain links.

There's no way for you to take it off now without breaking it. A silent offering that also showes his urge to make sure you know that his decisions are final. That he stands by this gesture, by his words, his choice.

And he's choosing you.

"Thats cheating." You tease. "You're making the hunt easy on yourself." You jab at him jokingly. "Scared you won't catch me without the help or a bell around my leg?" You ask, tilting your head innocently while he leans down to kiss the side of your knee- and action that makes your breath hitch a little, something that doesn't go unnoticed as the corners of his lips lift.

"Oh, that bell isn't for me." He chuckles, hands at the very edge of the hem of your dress, never daring to go any higher. "Its so everyone else knows to stay away from you, because you'll be mine." He says.

"Bold." You just tell him, as he helps you down from the edge of the stage and into his arms, before he cages you in with your back against the wooden front of the structure, arms on either side of you.

"How could I not be?" He wonders, looking down at you, eyes jumping from your lips to your eyes. "I've got to be, considering all the others who lick their lips after you."

You scoff. He tilts his head for a second in confusion.

"You don't believe me?" He asks, and you shrug, looking away- but he doesn't have it, pulls your face back with his hand on your chin- before said hand moves to hold your cheek instead, an awfully tender gesture from the otherwise rather rough dragonkin. "You've got no idea how much you're desired."

"I'm not, really." You deny, but he instead leans in to nose at your neck, breathing in your scent. "Except, maybe by you." You try and joke, but you can instead feel his grin against your neck as he places an almost teasing kiss close to your dragon's-burn on the back of your neck.

"That you are." He affirms. "I desire you a lot. Not just.. physically though." He explains.

"Huh?" You stupidly sigh, unable to think straight under his ministrations.

"I desire all of you." He tries to explain. "I want to hear what worries you, what you think of, what you believe you can't tell anyone else. I want to know what makes you happy, what gets you excited, what makes you sad." He rambles, leaning his head on your shoulder now, lips tenderly kissing the tip of it. "I don't just want your body." He says. "I want you."

"Jungkook-" you sigh, and he can't help but laugh boyishly to himself.

"I love the way you say my name." He chuckles. "I love that you say my name." He clarifies, and you can't help but smile as well now, butterflies no longer being ignored now as they flutter in your heart at his clear display of affection.

You've never been desired like that. Wanted. Almost needed, in a way.

"Tomorrow." He reminds you, leaning away from you again. "Tomorrow, you'll be mine." He tells you.

"I won't make it easy." You threaten playfully, and he grins.

"And I wouldn't want you to, either." He responds before you both part ways-

Barely sleeping as the excitement sets in.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #hybrid imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook imagine #bts jeon jungkook x reader #bts jeon jungkook imagine

[mosaickiwi]

Someone In Between; Something Intertwined

Your babyboi Rendacted (from @14dayswithyou) struggles to be himself in your new-ish relationship. Gender neutral reader c:

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

You haphazardly pushed a cart full of returned books across the library. It'd been such a long day. Elanor had called in sick, so on top of desk duty, both the morning and afternoon story times fell on you. The kids were well behaved—as well behaved as elementary schoolers could be, anyway—but by the time it finished you were at your limit. The only solace was that today was Friday, so you had the whole weekend to spend at your boyfriend's apartment. A smile bloomed on your face and you couldn't help but push the cart a little faster as you thought about them, surely waiting outside already. 

Ren, your tall, clingy, dark-haired-at-the-roots boyfriend. It'd been 5 months since you officially started dating, and 4 months since he'd been convinced to let go of the Haruko persona. It was agonizingly slow progress, you still didn't know him well—he came off a bit neutral sometimes, unsure how to act around you before reverting to Haruko or a blank slate to mirror you. But you were happy that small parts of the real him managed to peek through over the months, no matter how much time it took. And it was taking a long time.

As you opened the overflow room, you checked the clock on the wall. It was barely 4 minutes until the end of your shift. The cart bumped over the threshold when you pushed it in and locked the door. Once that was taken care of, you did a quick look over the computer and study areas, picking up scrap papers and trash to put in the bin before heading to the break room, then your desk to grab all your things. 

You took a peek in Conan's office to bid him goodbye. "I'll see you next week! Enjoy your weekend," you said with a cheery voice and walked towards the entrance.

"You too!" he called after you. 

The doors flew open and you practically skipped with relief out into the cool autumn air. You spotted Ren leaning against the brick of the building, dressed in their now-usual style of black on black on more black. His hair was partially tied up in a ponytail, most of it still a pastel pink that fell over his shoulders. From the low collar on his shirt, you could see he'd covered his tattoos with makeup, but a few of his piercings were in. He was trying, and that meant so much to you. His ocean blue eyes were focused on the phone in his hand, so he didn't notice you at first.

"Ren!" You sang out their name and bounced over to them. 

He looked up in surprise before quickly smiling. "I was just texting you," he said and put his phone in his pocket. "Hey, Angel."

"Hiiii," you said as you grabbed his hand, taking gleeful notice of the light blush forming on his cheeks as your fingers laced together. At first you used to think it was only his Haruko persona when he blushed at any contact—but it turned out they really liked holding hands. It was the first thing you learned to keep in mind about the real him. So you made sure to do it as often as possible. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's only 5:01."

"And I'm sure you got here much earlier," you teased him, earning his embarrassed agreement when he flushed a deeper pink.

"Just 20 minutes," Ren mumbled and changed the subject. "Did y'want to stop anywhere? We don't have to go straight to my apartment."

"Nope! Work's got me feeling lazy. I'm all yours for the rest of the night." With that, you stood on your toes to kiss his cheek. 

He kissed you back on the lips, his snake bites catching the light as he smiled. He didn't even try to hide how happy he was. "Good."

~

An hour later, you were sitting on his couch eating pizza, a horror movie on low in the background while you chatted. You'd gotten half the pizza with your favorite toppings and—with a lot of stubborn encouragement on your part—Ren had gotten what were supposed to be his favorites. There was some overlap with a few of them, but he swore up and down they were things he liked. 

"L-Lots of people like pepperoni," he insisted. "You can't be suspicious of that one. It's basic."

"You got more than pepperoni to be suspicious about. But, true. I'll allow it," you conceded and munched away at the last of your pizza slice.

"Besides, I'm not that picky about food."

You swallowed, thinking about the age old debate about pizza toppings. "Pineapple on pizza?" Right on cue, the next victim in the movie shrieked in bloody terror.

"I'd eat it," he said after a moment of thought.

"Oh. Anchovies?" The screams continued.

He was a little more confident on this one. "Yup." 

"What about the really weird toppings?" you asked. You inwardly grimaced as you vaguely remembered a weird picture Moth had sent.. "Like… corn and chocolate?" 

Ren made a face between confused and disgusted. "Together? On pizza? People eat that?"

"Maybe. Probably," you said and shrugged. You grabbed a napkin from the coffee table and wiped your hands, then stood to throw away your paper plate. "People eat plenty of weirder things."

He paused the movie and quickly followed you into the kitchen with his own plate; he'd finished eating a little bit before you. As he trailed you to the trash can, then the sink, he spoke honestly, "It sounds really… out there. I don't think I'd eat it."

"Hmm," you said as you pumped the soap dispenser. You weren't sure if his answer would change if you said you'd eat it—not that you would, ew—but it was nice for him to voice his own opinions without trying to hear yours first.

You felt him trap you against the counter and rest his chin on your head. His arms came around you, but he only began washing his own hands as you were doing. It was an oddly comforting position.

An easy silence fell over the two of you, only broken by the rush of water from the tap. Eventually, the water stopped and he grabbed a paper towel, quickly drying his hands. You expected him to move, but instead he grabbed another towel and started drying your hands for you. He seemed content, even humming quietly to himself. So you simply watched. His rough fingers were steady as he delicately went over every inch of your hands until they were completely dry. He wasn't even half as thorough with himself; it was cute.

"You're really touchy," you innocently blurted out.

Ren suddenly let go, as if he'd been burned. "S-Sorry, Angel. I should've asked—" He quickly backed off, putting distance between you two and fiddling with his sleeves.

You realized your mistake and turned around, shaking your head in apology. Without the persona as a barrier, he was more on edge about your reactions sometimes. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. Here—hand, please," you demanded and held out your own to him. He cautiously took it and you smiled, closing the space to pull him into a hug. "See? No harm done. Touchy is good. Wonderful, even."

Despite the blush on his face, he seemed relieved. "Really?"

"Almost as wonderful as corn and chocolate pizza," you teased.

He laughed for a moment before squeezing you against his chest. "There's no way you'd actually eat that," he mumbled above you and got even quieter. "I'm so sorry, Angel. 'M afraid you'll push me away one day."

His arms felt so nice wrapped around you, but his words broke your heart. "I'd never do that. I care about you, Ren. Okay?" you whispered into his shirt. Your fingers curled tightly into the fabric and you pressed on. "Not Haruko, not anyone else." His real name slipped out in a quiet whisper. "You."

A rather stressful sigh left him and he started rambling, "I'm trying my best. And I get what you mean, but it's hard t’believe you'd want me as I am. I'm less than perfect for you. Why would you want that?"

"I don't need or want 'perfect' like I'm a test you studied for," you huffed in frustration and looked up at them, shocked to find hurt and loneliness in their gaze. "I'm not mad at you!" you immediately sought to reassure him. "But I want to accept you like you've accepted me, warts and all. I'm not perfect either."

"Except that you are per—" he opened his mouth to protest, but the way your eyes narrowed had him choosing his final word carefully. "Are… person?" He pulled away to fiddle with the hem of his sleeve. "I just can’t trust you’d like me when I haven’t been myself that often. You don’t know me that well.” His bangs covered his eyes as he lowered his head and looked away.

“I like the parts I’ve seen,” you stubbornly declared and crossed your arms, rapidly firing off the list you kept in your head. “You sleep like a corpse, you’re a tease and a flirt—even worse in bed. You won’t give anyone the time of day but me, you like your coffee black but somehow have a ridiculous sweet tooth.”

“Angel.” They tried to get your attention, but you didn’t hear them. 

“Little things make you happy even though you’re a pessimist, a drama queen when you want to get your way, a smug, petty brat on top of that, a total fucking geek if I’m being honest—sometimes you get really excited and babble about tech I don’t understand—and the very first thing I learned—”

“Angel,” he interrupted a little louder with a touch on your shoulder and you snapped out of it. Gentle as could be, he pried your fingers away from your arm. You didn’t realize you were practically digging your nails into your skin from how riled up you were. “Okay,” he continued in a low voice, a tinge of awkwardness to it. “You know me, in some ways.”

You smiled up at him, just as self-conscious about your momentary rant. “You really, really like holding hands, too,” you quietly pointed out and wiggled your fingers in his grip. He hadn’t let go, not that you wanted him to.

“I didn’t think there was so much of me—the real me—that you cared enough to notice,” he said, idly tracing over your fingertips. The gentle touch comforted you.

“It’s all important to me. And it made me so excited when I could see those little parts of you," you admitted with a nervous laugh. “This is embarrassing, but I'd try to write down all the things I'd learn when I got home so I wouldn’t forget. But then I’d scribble and tear up the papers—I’d think to myself like ‘that’s creepy, stop it you weirdo.’ Isn’t it though? Taking notes on someone is a bit much.”

Ren seemed to piece something together in his mind before answering confidently, “Not at all, in fact it’s really cute. Who's studying for who, here?”

Heat flushed your cheeks and you blew out a silent breath from pursed lips. “I wasn’t studying. I was happy that you were being yourself! There are so many quirks or habits you don't realize that just make me fall more in… love… with you…?” You trailed off, eyes widening in tandem with theirs as you both processed what you'd just said.

The confused look on his face had you positive that his brain was malfunctioning. At least yours certainly was. “Ah—In love? Like you love me?” he asked in disbelief and repeated himself. "You love me?"

You nodded robotically, wanting to melt into the marble floor. You did love him. And all the little pieces that shined through the cracks in his act. You loved getting to know him, good and bad, bratty or sweet. Confessing to note taking already had you flustered, yet here you were, continuing to run your mouth and put it all out there. “Yeah... I love you,” you managed to say in spite of yourself.

He lifted you off the ground by your waist, drawing a weird squeaking noise you had surely never made before out of you. He didn't seem bothered as he sat you down on the counter and tenderly kissed your forehead. “I love you, Angel. More than anything,” he breathed out against your skin then pulled back. “I really love you.” His hand brushed stray hairs away from your face before he was cupping your cheek, staring at you for a long while with a shamelessly adoring smile. 

Sirens started blaring in your head the longer nothing happened, so you quietly asked, “Can you kiss me before more embarrassing stuff comes out my mouth?”

“Ahh, um, I’m kind of—overstimulated? Overwhelmed? I never thought I'd hear y'say you love me," he confessed with giddiness. "I can’t decide between teasing you or crying from happiness."

“If you tease me right now I’m going to be the one crying."

That got him to choose. Not a moment sooner, he finally kissed you. The sirens in your head quieted down, only to be replaced by butterflies in your stomach as your eyes closed. He was just as affectionate as he always was, but you could tell he had trouble holding his emotions back from the way his hand gripped your thigh. There was a trembling excitement to the gentle kisses he gave. Ren was clearly on cloud nine. His lips drew a feather light trail from the corner of your mouth up to your ear, barely tickling you as he lingered.

“Angel,” he whispered softly as his thumb traced circles on your leg.

You tilted your head to look at him, feeling pure bliss from his affection. “Hmm?”

“Don’t tear up your study notes next time. ‘Wanna read ‘em.”

“Noo!"

#14dwy #14 days with you #14dwy redacted #14dwy ren #momo writing #thing that sits in my drafts mocking me as it gets longer and longer #is there fluff? angst? comfort? heck if i know #OOC? gosh probably #proofread except i will find typos later anyway #lmk if i need to tag anything #how do u use this gay little site /j

[hezuart]

Thoughts on the “Look my Way” music video? For context if you don’t know, this is a fan song that’s just animated. Paranoid DJ had written this song awhile back, though Viv did take out some lyrics and switch them up a bit. What I personally don’t like is that there’s a line in the original where Stolas mentions the “impish play thing” line, as well as acknowledges that Octavia is hurting, and Viv cut that out. The song itself also doesn’t help for the show narratively really regarding the ship of Stolitz.

OMYGOD Okay so much to talk about here. It's a BEAUTIFUL song, amazing song, and I even loved the original of it. The animation for this AMV is breathtaking, everyone did an AMAZING job on it. This is what Helluva Boss songs should sound like. I was annoyed with that one scene, albeit very pretty where Stolas and Blitz have a string attached to the pinky finger, which is an indication of soulmates. This bothers me because a soulmate is either A. someone you have been reincarnated with over the years to love or B. Someone you click with- someone who completes you. You meet in every lifetime or they are the perfect person for you. This does not fit Stolas X Blitz AT ALL. They are not perfect for each other, they are complete opposites and the entire appeal and beauty of their relationship was the fact that they were fuckbuddies! They weren't even friends! They were tied up in manipulations, classism, and power imbalances. Their relationship required a lot of growth, a lot of work, and a LOT of learning on what love actually was, how to maintain it, and how to right their wrongs like-They needed to actively explore and learn what love means. They needed to find a real connection that would actually give them chemistry. Being soulmates is a complete cop-out. (Soulmates don't rely on reincarnation, but some do- and reincarnation is not a thing for demons???) You could say I'm overthinking it and being nitpicky with this visual, but this is exactly what it is! That is a soulmate string!!! He even says "I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls-" LIKE BRUH wHAT !!! I'm so mad about what their relationship has become. They were toxic but not doomed. Now they're nothing Anyway..... still very beautiful and pretty

I have friends who actually know this guy and work closely with him. Apparently, Viv was the one who asked to change the lyrics of the song because it didn't "fit her story"???????? The lyrics changed: OG: "Come now, my little impish plaything, we both made our choice" Viv: "But dearest, I know better now I must give you this choice" It makes sense why she would want this changed since this song is about Stolas actually finally being in love. But it's still very sus because we still have not addressed Stolas's classism problem that seems to fluctuate episode to episode. OG: "Is this how she'd feel? Abandoned, all alone and left to fend For herself, for some semblance of happiness that doesn't have to end?" Viv: "Is this what you feel? Scorned by a realm that cannot comprehend, What you are, so I'll grant you this mercy this bind- on our souls needs to end" Again I can understand this change because we are going off-topic with Octavia here. However, I do find these changes very suspicious, especially if she wanted the song to better "fit her story". Because these circumstances are things that I have accused Viv of retconning before. Where Stolas wasn't actually in love with Blitz from the start and only saw him as a shiny toy, an "impish little plaything". Where Stolas was actually shady in cheating on his wife and not being there for his daughter nor really understanding her. "Home doesn't feel like home anymore. You ruined it." I can understand in the context of the song why these lines would be removed, but in the context of the overall story, I'm very suspicious of it, because those are very important contexts that people try to insist are "just people's headcanons" when they literally aren't. This could be considered active proof of Vivziepop retconning her story, but I will go with the latter and stick to my logical explanations for why the lyrics were changed- gonna try to have some faith here.

~~~~

Apparently, Cherri and Angel's AMV Addict was also a fan song. In THAT video, this is the description. Fully acknowledging it was a fan song, and giving clear credit to the person who made the song.

THIS. IS THE DESCRIPTION FOR "JUST LOOK MY WAY"

NO acknowledging this is a fan-made song. NO credit for Paranoid DJ. No thank you, no praise for the original, no links to the original song- He is at least in the credits, but not the description! This is insanely shady! I don't know if this was just a mistake or not, but this is really uncool. Again, he's at least in the ending credits, but... the description would make it more obvious. Vivziepop has a history of not crediting people for their work- I don't know if she was the one who made this mistake nor not.... this is not the worst it could have been, but at the very least whoever runs the youtube should fix the description out of respect.

#vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #ask #long post #text post #just look my way

[getosbigballsack]

𝑼𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝑺𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒓 𝑮𝒐𝒋𝒐 𝒙 𝑩𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅! 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔: 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒏𝒊𝒒𝒖𝒆, 𝒎𝒆𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒖𝒏𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒈𝒚𝒏𝒚, 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑨/𝑵: 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕.

𝑾𝑪: 2.04𝒌

𝑩𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 (𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒐𝒏)

𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚❤︎

To say that it came as a surprise is an overstatement. Honestly, you had already anticipated that this was going to be the outcome of the proposed marriage between you, the daughter of Master Hayashi who is the head of the Hayashi clan, and Gojo Satoru the future heir of the Gojo clan.

“I don’t want to marry a blind woman,” he cursed as he stood before you looking down at you with hatred and disgust, though you were unable to see the expression on his face because well you can’t see. You thought he’d be different, after all, you heard great stories about the great Gojo Satoru. Well respected, the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, always eager to help those who are in need, quick to solve problems, and on top of that you heard that he was kind, sweet, handsome, tall, funny and he aspired to be a man with a family, a wife, and beautiful children. You thought that maybe he’d accept you, someone will finally accept you, but no, he’s just like the rest of them, always judging you because you had a disability.

It’s unfair, you think. To never be given a chance to love, an opportunity to live just like everyone else. It wasn’t your fault, you were just born like that and there was nothing that can be done about it and you accepted that, so why is it hard for everyone else to accept you? You wanted to cry as he spoke down to you, belittling you like you were just a mere fly in his eyes. You wanted to say, “Father it’s ok, let’s go home.”

And you’re pretty sure that if you had spoken those words, your father would not hesitate to take your hand while you held your white stick in the other hand and led you out of the Gojo’s estate and take you home, where you’re accepted by your family and also felt safe.

But no, that won’t do, the current head of the Gojo clan knows that if Gojo Satoru chose not to accept this marriage then all ties with the Hayashi clan will be cut. After all, they knew how much Master Hayashi cherished his daughter and would do anything to protect her.

So amid this chaos, a voice finally spoke up, disrupting the angry heir of the Gojo clan.

“Satoru calm down, let's think about this for a second.”

That voice sounded unfair to you, you knew that that voice did not belong to the head of the Gojo clan, who just happened to be Gojo’s father. You’ve met Master Gojo a couple of times and even spoke to the kind-hearted man. So you knew that that wasn’t him. You couldn’t help but wonder who it was.

But as you let your curious mind wander, everyone else including your father stared at the young man in shock. Sporting a gold-coloured cassava garment over his black yukata robes, complete with white tabi socks and zori sandals, he steps out into the open in front of Gojo.

He rested his hand upon Gojo’s shoulder, smiling softly at you before facing his friend, best friend. “Do you know what a great opportunity this is for you and the clan? That woman, though she’s visually impaired, she’s very useful, you know.”

“Huh? Useful? Stop with the nonsense Suguru, how can a blind woman be useful to me, the strongest?” Gojo questioned, his voice booming throughout the courtyard. Your father gritted his teeth at the young man, Master Gojo shook his head and clenched his fist at his son, meanwhile, the young man chuckled.

“Unbelievable,” He said as he turned to you. You could hear them, the sound of his zori sandals tapping against the stone tiles that decorated most of the courtyard as they approached you. Your head perched up, blind eyes staring straight ahead of you hoping to sense his strong alluring presence as he drew closer to you. “Master Hayashi, I apologise on behalf of the young master. He has a habit of making rash decisions and saying hurtful things before thinking.”

Your father huffed as he stepped beside you and held onto your shoulder, “Still that gives him no right to say such harsh things about my daughter. Does he know who I am?”

“I guess not Master Hayashi. But I know how important you are to the Gojo clan because without you standing beside them as their right hand then the clan would have already been in shambles. It’s not that I underestimate the power that the Gojo clan holds, it’s just that I know how much influence and power you and your clan have over the Jujutsu Society. And with the power that you possess, Master Hayashi, I know that you can be one of Gojo's clan's greatest enemies,” the young man said as he finally stopped in front of you.

“You sound like an intelligent young man,” Master Hayashi said as he stared down at the young man who was smiling at you.

“My apologies, how rude of me to not introduce myself. My name is Geto Suguru, the advisor and right-hand man of the young master Gojo Satoru,” he said as he bowed before you and his father.

“I know of you,” you said. And that’s true you knew who Geto Suguru was. You heard that he’s one of three special-grade jujutsu sorcerers and the only one who is on equal grounds with Gojo Satoru in terms of being the strongest. You also heard that during his teen years, he apparently struggled with depression after the death of Riko Amanai and his depression led him to madness. His madness then turned into anger and confusion, his anger and confusion, then turned into hatred that led him to massacre a village filled with one hundred and twelve people in one night.

He was deemed to be executed and labelled as the worst curse user to ever exist if it weren’t for Gojo Satoru himself, saving his best friend from that fate and providing him with the necessary resources and therapy to get his head back together. He did spend time in jail, atoning for his sin, but then released on house arrest and under the supervision of no other than the Gojo clan.

He had a bit of history. He smiled, “And I know who you are,” he stated. “Well not you, but of your ancestor, Hayashi Misturi, your great-great-grandmother, the last holder of the curse technique that you now possess.” You were baffled, to say the least, words stuck in your throat as you tried to fathom what was being told to you.

“Do… Do you know about my family history?” you asked as you held your hand out to the young man hoping that he’ll take your hand in his.

You’re shocked by how cold and big his hand was as soon as his hand grazed yours. “Of course. As Satoru’s right hand, it is my duty to know stuff like this.” You felt his hand lift yours upwards and a tender kiss on your knuckles. “I know you did not choose this, what happened to you at birth is not your fault. You never asked to be born like this, as a matter of fact, your mother never asked for you to be born like this. Your family never expected that the curse technique that had died within Hayashi Misturi to be reborn within you. A hundred years should have passed before that powerful curse technique remerged, but I guess the Gods have greater plans for you my dear and that’s the reason you’re born like this.”

“You know what curse technique I possess?” you asked him and you heard him hum yes in response to your question. You drew your hands from him and stepped back, your hand desperately reaching out to grasp your father’s hand. “Impossible. You’re not supposed to…”

“I know, your family kept your curse technique a secret for a reason. However, I was curious, to say the least, when I learned about the Hayashi Clan and the daughter of Master Hayashi. So I did a bit of reading, and that's when I found out about your great great grandmother Hayashi Misturi. And the more I read about her, the more I started to piece together the connections and that's how I found out about your curse technique, just to sum it quickly without going too in-depth,” he explained. “Anyways, I say this to say that Satoru, the woman you’re belittling, is very important to her clan. She’s stronger than she looks, she may not be able to see but she has a curse technique that can rival yours and I’s any day. Correct me if I’m wrong Master Hayashi.”

“Smart young man indeed. You are correct,” your father said as she squeezed your hands lightly.

“You may not be fond of marrying a visually impaired woman but think about this Satoru. Your family already has big ties with them, imagine losing that connection and them teaming up with the Zenin Clan?” Geto said, raising an important question to the young master of the clan. “That’s something we do not want to see.”

Gojo hummed as he stroked his chin, his eyes never leaving your face as he thought about what Geto just said. He always knew that Geto is a man of logical and critical reasoning, and that’s why he chose to keep him at his side despite what happened in the past. “You make a very good point.”

“I know. Besides, she's very beautiful and I’m sure she has other things to offer you besides her curse technique.”

Gojo hummed as he slowly approached you. And Without even listening to his footsteps, you could feel his very intimidating presence coming towards. “Father?”

“It’s ok, I’m here,” he said in an attempt to comfort you, which seems a bit futile because he was shaking in his boots.

“Oi?” Gojo called out to you as he reached his hand out to cup your chin. You almost drew back because you were so frightened and a bit taken aback by his actions. “Besides having children, what else can you offer? What can a blind girl like you do for me?”

“You better watch how you…”

“Father!” you yelled and the man cleared his throat before glaring at Gojo. “I may not be able to see and it is quite rude to rub my disability in my face first and foremost. Secondly, despite being a blind girl, I’ll still be able to perform my wifely duties. I know how to cook, I’m good at cooking. I know how to clean and most certainly take care of my husband. If you’re wondering if I’ll be a burden to you if something were to happen, no need to worry I know how to fight. I’m also very good at giving advice and so on.”

Gojo chuckled, no he laughed in your face after you answered his question. The disrespect and the audacity of him. You swallowed and bit your tongue to hold back your tears.

“Fine then, I’ll marry you. Suguru’s right, you're pretty enough I guess. But fine, I’ll marry you but only under these conditions,” he stated.

“That’s enough Satoru,” his father, Master Gojo, finally spoke up. He was about to scold the young master, but you were quick to cut him off before he even began.

“What conditions?” you asked him.

“We’ll get married in two weeks. You and I won’t share a bed, however, you’ll prepare my bath every morning and night, prepare healthy meals and sweet treats for me since you are so good at cooking, and lastly, you’ll bear my children, since that’s the only thing that I know you’ll be able to do properly.”

“Fine…” you answered.

“Great. We have a deal then,” he said as his hand moved from your chin, up your face to take the glasses that you wore to cover those. The eyes that you were unable to see from, but still stared straight at him as he stared into them.

This is the beginning of a life you didn’t know you’d have.

My question for you reader, what’s your prediction for this? 

𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔?

@getosbigballsack 2023

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[portsandstars]

Revisiting Red Spring Studio's Interview with Blerdy Otome - Select Quotes

It's been almost a year since RSS had this interview, but I think that many people have not listened to it, or recently revisited it. I thought I'd highlight some quotes from it, though the entire interview is worth watching! Some of these quotes I have lightly modified for clarity or succinctness but the majority are direct transcripts.

23:30: "Touchstarved is a horror romance visual novel where the entire cast is made up of characters where you're like, "I can fix them!" but you actually can't. I think that Touchstarved is a very complex and mature story with really really complex themes and interwoven routes and obviously it's very sexy at the same it's a romance - and I think it's one of those games that I've always wanted to see exist and I think that a lot of the team has always wanted to see this game exist as far as being this kind of like dark, broody, moody, but also very deep, right, and authentic and honest exploration - Monsters, and the feeling of being a monster - feeling of being an "other", right, whether you're queer or POC or anything like that… we've created a game that's not only really fun and action-packed and bloody and all that kind of stuff… but very heartfelt in a way that I hope readers can pick up on.

Imo, this line of reasoning ("you can't fix them", and the cast's monstrous nature and how it intrinsically ties to/is an analogy for being queer, or POC) - makes me think that even in the good endings for the game, your character won't be minimizing the character's monstrousness. For example, even if your character has the Power of True Love, it's not going to make Vere nonviolent or absolve Kuras's guilt.

25:35: "These themes are pretty complicated in a way that's messy and honestly bloody and I think for that reason is why we're looking at a mature rating - that said, when we set out to make the game our goal wasn't really to be explicit, it was much more to focus on sexiness . . ."

Just clarifying that there won't be explicit sex scenes in the game.

28:55: "What are some aspects of the story that you are most excited to showcase?" "I'm so excited that people get to die terribly, that just gets me so pumped up. Like in previous jobs I have not been allowed to brutally murder . . . main characters permanently and it's very important to me that I now have the power to write really just messed up awful endings…Don't worry, there's also good endings there too, they just get as much passion and all that stuff as the bad endings… but the bad endings, oh my gosh, those are some of my favorites."

This line makes me curious about whether the main characters are just MC, or if the other characters will brutally die as well!

30:50 "A little while ago we posted Kuras's character reveal and people really like the fact that he can't cook so for me it's really cute and innocent seeing people obsess over that fact and I really just want them to see the contrast between that version of Kuras in their head and what he's actually like in his route. Like I just really want to see them react to like the terrible things he's going to do. . . They're all awful in different ways that I'm really excited for people to see it - it's very funny to see everyone be like _Literally name any of the characters of the cast and be like "they're my little meow meow" and it's like, oh. good. I hope this continues once they learn more about the characters. Obviously they're all wonderful - right, the characters are all awful but they're also all wonderful".

32:26 : "the theme of monstrousness and how each character kind of approaches it differently . . . because they're all monsters, even if they're not literally monsters . . .it also plays into each character's brand of horror in their own way as well that ties into their monstrous nature."

This line especially (to me) hints at how Leander is likely not SPECIFICALLY a monster, but a human with a monstrous nature.

34:30: - Ais was the first character they made and each of the other characters build upon him, so they spent a lot of time getting him right. Vere was the easiest to create and they made him in a weekend. Kuras was the hardest to create (especially visually).

38:00 "This is a romance game and a big draw of the game is making a love connection with these characters - do you all plan on including platonic friendship routes in addition to romance routes, or is it strictly romance?" The way that we planned out this game is that we wanted to focus on the intimacy of these individual relationships between the main character and the love interest and the route that they're on, right, so this is the way we had planned the game from the beginning. We really like poly romances, for example, and friendships, but we think that it wouldn't have made much sense for the characters in the story that we had written for them because this entire story - with who the main character is and why they're having to turn to these mysterious monstrous strangers - there's a level of intimacy involved in the themes and stories that we really focused on for how we're writing…

It's almost like a narrative design intentionality we did early on because each route that you'll be able to play from the main five cast is very driven and each character is like a ticking time bomb in their own way. So if you choose to romance Vere, Kuras's route still continues and you can see the effects of what not choosing Kuras is in Vere's route when you're playing Vere's route. So the world is meant to be very interwoven and interconnected where you can see the ripples of everyone's choices even when you're not romancing them and in that way we've designed this cast that's woven together. So if we did want to do a poly route, we would probably have to do entirely new characters . ."

43:30: "One of the fundamental goals of this game was to have, as you've been saying, a living world - a world that's evolving, and one of the ways that we wanted to communicate that was with the idea that these characters are not doing great… um, they're all in very very bad situations, uh, they're all essentially doomed if you do not go with them and it's seeing that carried out in each route that I hope will be really interesting for people.. it will be very sad, in a good way".

ARGHHH this is the WORST. This means that if you choose a character, you're essentially dooming the others. Though this will undoubtedly manufacture delicious angst, I'm soooo sad at imagining each of the other characters faltering and ultimately failing on their paths because you didn't chose them. Though, I wonder if there are some routes where multiple characters turn out ok, or if the entire cast is doomed as soon as you don't select them (in different ways depending on the route)?

54:30: "I also want to clarify too that even though we've been talking about blood a lot and all that kind of stuff and death and we love those parts of the story, um, if you get those endings there's a reason why, you know what I'm saying - you have to actively try to get those endings - poke the bear with a stick."

Definitely referencing Vere's bad ending in the demo. Personally I am too curious to avoid them, but it's encouraging that some of the MC deaths appear to be because you deliberately make dangerous choices, rather than simply "tricking" the player and surprising them.

Let me know what you think of these quotes, and the whole interview is definitely worth a watch if you haven't seen it!

#touchstarved #touchstarved game #red spring studio #red spring studios #leander #vere #kuras #ais #mhin #touchstarved theory #touchstarved meta #Youtube