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#thee band of all time for me
skywatch3rs · 1 year
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top 5 times you've seen tmg
this resulted in me pulling up setlist fm and my travel spreadsheets to double check how many tmg shows i've actually been to and its 11 full shows and one instore so i do actually have to pick and its hard!!!
dublin 2019 - palmcorder yanya, waylon jennings live!, this is about when younger solidifed as one of my all time favourites. john played ash's request for birth of serpents back to back with my request for steal smoked fish in the encore and afterwards we hung out with matt and got hugs and were like, fully solidified as Those Two who were barrier at every show of the tour
dublin 2015 beat the champ tour - my first time! i flew from cardiff to dublin to stay with a pal and went to the gig on my own, got in the second row, and sobbed my way through most of the set next to an older irish woman who grabbed my hand during never quite free. the setlist was insane: cry for judas, ballad of bull ramos, heel turn 2, steal smoked fish, amy aka spent gladiator, and my first time ever hearing this year live. whelan's is a tiny venue, the crowd was rowdy af and joyful, and until this year it was the only full band show i'd been to!
brighton 2017 - last show of the goths tour, i tweeted john from outside the venue asking if i could teach myself how to make an origami unicorn before the show, would he consider playing from tg&y (my fav unreleased song). i successfully made the unicorn and left it on the keyboard, he held it up during high unicorn tolerance and referred to me as "his friend". he did play from tg&y during the solo set and it changed my brain chemistry forever. also this was maybe my favourite version of harlem roulette i've seen live?
leeds night 2 2019. i have loved all the leeds shows, the brudenell club is my favourite venue, the crowd is always incredible, hearing andrew eldritch is moving back to leeds in leeds remains one of the most joyful musical experiences of my life every goddamn time, but this show in particular had autoclave in the solo set and then the double whammy of cry for judas into woke up new. this was 18 months after ash and i lost a friend to suicide and woke up new hits different when you're in grief like that. getting to cry and hug my best friend listening to our favourite band together doesn't get old ever.
dublin 2017 - HEEL TURN 1 BABYYYYY. new chevrolet in flamess!! the young thousands!! you were cool in the encore!!!!! ash and i befriended a very chill dude at barrier who lost his shit when JD played masher in the solo set, extremely good vibes. but really: heel turn one. screaming "i/ i/ i'm not gonna die in here" with a room full of people increasingly loudly was just so much.
honorable mention for berlin 2022, my first and only show of this tour bc i got incredibly sick the day after the gig. but going to germany with ash to see tmg again post-pandemic was just such a joy. matt melted my face off with his guitar solo during dark in here, seeing a full band show for the first time since 2015 rocked, waylon jennings live! full band? incredible. i screamed along so hard to up the wolves that my mask fell off; the catharsis was deeply needed
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thekidsarentalright · 10 months
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wonder how that person who said that fob NEVERRRRR references pop culture feels w the news of this new cover .
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moonssugar · 1 year
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always struck by how much the relationships between my characters grow
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lyricposting · 1 year
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and if! your heart hurts! it's only for a lifetime, then you rest!!!!!!!?!?!?!!!!
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helluvapoison · 2 months
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how would the overlords propose?
Say Yes
how the overlords would propose
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
˚✧₊⁎ Carmilla Carmine ⁎⁺˳✧༚
Romance isn’t an afterthought to her, as hard as that is to believe. Carmilla is a very passionate woman… it just comes after logic. Whether you knew it or not, you’ve been put to the test much earlier on. (How you treat her daughters and how they like you is the most important part, if you didn’t pass you wouldn’t have made it this far)
By now she knows you’re worthy and she’ll bring you into her world permanently. Carmilla plans something intimate. She surprises you in her office for a candlelit dinner, courtesy of her private chef! She is a businesswoman first so she gets straight to the point and asks for your hand, literally, slipping the band into your finger.
“Marry me,” Carmilla says, uncharacteristically soft, “With you at my side, I will be complete.”
˚✧₊⁎ Zestial ⁎⁺˳✧༚
Telling himself there’s no rush, that he could wait a thousand more lifetimes to make you completely his, doesn’t cure the urgency to do it anyways. He’s seen any ounce of goodness down here nabbed before anyone else can take it for themselves. Zestial never claimed to be unselfish, only patient. He tests the question to himself first very early on. Then he phrases it differently to you or refers to himself as your husband to others. You mistake it for a slip up and smile anyways. A delightful sign in his eyes.
Zestial is pleased that you don’t suspect it. How could you when he’s merely being his usual, charming self? He takes you strolling down the same path you took when he first began courting you. Ever the gentleman, he pauses before the bridge over the river of magma and actually kneels.
“Would thou spend the rest of this infernal afterlife beside thyself? Say yes and I swear never to stray and never to allow harm to befall thee. Thou shall only know happiness from this moment on.”
˚✧₊⁎ Alastor ⁎⁺˳✧༚
Love at first sight doesn’t exist so do not twist his words when he says he knew you belonged to him the moment you met. Feelings were bothersome and you flooded his entire being with them with a simple gaze. Lingering between the emotions was always pain, which he was familiar with. Unfortunately for him, the cure for his ailment was always you. Marriage was not in the cards for either of you. Alastor thought he had no intention of going through such hassle until he couldn’t stop staring at the vacant spot on your ring finger. Bothersome.
Truly you had no idea what he was plotting. It wasn’t uncommon for him to bring you to his radio tower, going over notes with him or just quietly hanging about while he worked. He told you there would be a guest on his next show and he wanted to rehearse the questions. Simple enough. Before you even read the last one Alastor stopped you with a finger to the lips,
“Pardon my dear, you’ve been a wonderful co host— utterly indispensable these past few years— but that’s my line!” There’s a flicker of hesitation before his smile takes a slightly gentler form, a side of Alastor only you’re privy to, “Will you marry me?”
˚✧₊⁎ Rosie ⁎⁺˳✧༚
Since she was married a few times already, you thought Rosie would be over the whole thing by now. Well you couldn’t be more wrong if you tried! She adores weddings, from organizing them to being in them; the whole shabang is right up her alley! There was a reason her ex husbands didn’t work out but you don’t have to worry about the whys and whatnots. You’re oh so very special to Rosie, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing you!
The fact you think marriage is off the table has her giddy. She loves having the element of surprise! Cannibal’s left and right are in on the plot, making sure you’re exactly where you need to be all day long until you reach the town square at sunset. Crimson rose petals lead you to the gazebo where candles are lit all around your Radiant Rosie. She smiles so fondly at you it makes your knees weak as you climb the steps to reach her. She poured her love into two pages, prepared to make it her best speech ever but the second you were in front of her everything went out the window!
“Oh! I can’t wait another minute! Marry me, won’t you?”
~
╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ the vees might get their own part cause, i feel, they’re particular about marriage
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crackers4jenn · 8 months
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The appeal of Spike/Buffy to me vs all the other Spike and Buffy ships is that they got to have ANTICS, even amidst all the darker themes
one of their first scenes as mortal enemies kinda getting along, they pretend to be in a band together
they get the will-it-so spell episode where they're FAKE ENGAGED, helloooooo (with handholding! and lap sitting! and smooches! while they're still ankle deep in nemesis territory!!!)
Spike's around to play kitten poker and help Buffy out and make cute lil faces at her in the time loop episode
there's ✨thee musical episode✨ with the closing curtain big finale kiss
they get shippy moments as Joan and Randy in the amnesia episode
they're bonin' in the "Buffy's invisible" episode
there's the magical letterman jacket episode where Buffy and Spike get to do some silent background comedy, with a bazooka
when Andrew introduces them in his season 7 POV ep they get the romance novel cover scene, with windswept hair and slow-mo
even in the buffybot episode there's an undercurrent of ~comedy mixed with the depravity
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sleepnowmychild · 1 month
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Prayers and hymns to Hypnos:
Anytime I find one in a book or site about ancient texts, I save it for later use. So here’s what I’ve collected so far.
Orphic Hymn 85 to Hypnos (Greek hymns C3rd B.C. to 2nd A.D.) :
"To Hypnos, Fumigation from Poppies. Hypnos, king of Gods, and men of mortal birth, sovereign of all, sustained by mother earth; for thy dominion is supreme alone, over all extended, and by all things known. 'Tis thine all bodies with benignant mind in other bands than those of brass to bind. Tamer of cares, to weary toil repose, and from whom sacred solace in affliction flows. Thy pleasing gentle chains preserve the soul, and even the dreadful cares of death control; for Thanatos, and Lethe with oblivious stream, mankind thy genuine brothers justly deem. With favouring aspect to my prayer incline, and save thy mystics in their works divine."
Statius, Silvae 5. 4. 1 (Roman poetry C1st A.D.) :
*prayer by an Insomiac
O youthful Somnus, gentlest of the gods, by what crime or error of mine have I deserved that I alone should lack thy bounty? Silent are all the cattle, and the wild beasts and the birds, and the curved mountain summits have the semblance of weary slumber, nor do the raging torrents roar as they were wont; the ruffled waves have sunk to rest, and the sea leans against earth's bosom and is still. Seven times now hath the returning moon beheld my fixed and ailing eyes; so often have the lights of Oeta and Paphos revisited me, so oft hath Tithonia passed by my groans, and pitying sprinkled me with her cool whip. Ah! how may I endure? Not if I had the thousand eyes of sacred Argus, which he kept but in alternate watchfulness, nor even waked in all his frame at once. But now--ah, me!--if some lover through the long hours of night is clasping a girl's entwining arms, and of his own will drives thee from him, come thence, O Somnus! Nor do I bid thee shower all the influence of thy wings upon my eyes--that be the prayer of happier folk!--touch me but with thy wand's extremest tip--'tis enough--or pass over me with lightly hovering step."
By Sophocles in Philoctetes:
''Divine Hypnos, god who knows no pain, Hypnos, stranger to anguish, come in favour to us, come happy, and giving happiness, great King! Keep before his eyes such light as is spread before them now. Come to him, I pray you, come with power to heal!''
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kat-sribbles · 7 months
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October 9th, 2001: The Beginning of Something
Ever since Quarantine of 2020, I’ve always wondered where fall out boy first ever performance was. I’ve been a fan of FOB for about 9 years now and never fully went into their history of how they started, so quarantine gave me time to do research. I came across a video of a Black Sabbath cover band and in the description of the video said that this was fall out boy first ever show they did, they played alongside two cover bands that were Chicago hardcore locals. After looking at this video for awhile, it had a date and location. October 9th, 2001 at DePaul University at Cortelyou Commons. There was my answer to the question…but it didn’t feel satisfied enough, I need to know more about this show and if there is footage of this show. This is where my search starts going into more depth.
Fast-forward to this summer of 2023, with the help of two friends, I started to do more digging on the first show. I went back to the video and saw that the channel had uploaded another video from that same night. When I looked the description of that video, it had said “This was Fall Out Boy's first show. No, we do not have any video of them. They were awful.”
(Which I do not mind that they were terrible, even the guys said it was a terrible show). I then started to search this channel name on instagram, I found that this guy who uploaded thee videos was the bassist of Stillwell (the band that is shown in the video) and is the founder of the independent record label, Forge Again Records. My friend reached out via the instagram that I found and we asked a few questions. (See picture below) he was very kind to answer some of our questions that we had about that night ( we asked about how they were booked for that show and if there was any flyers promoting this show at all).
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What he told us:
He got a call from Ben Rose (the drummer at the time) and asked to be put onto the lineup last minute (this is why there most likely wasn’t a flyer with their name on it)
They opened the show that night since he needed someone to open.
He then guided us into looking at the Oral History of TTTYG from AP Magazine (issue 303). I have a copy of the mega collection of all the issues that FOB was in from AP and quickly found some key notes. (Show pictures below) not only did our search gave us some clues but also made us open to other lost media that might be out there as well!
Joe was given a link from Patrick (Patrick’s mp3 page) after meeting Joe at a borders bookstore in Wilmette
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The first implication of FOB being mention was in a GuestBook post that Patrick made (picture below) on May 31st, 2001
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At the show, they did not have a name yet, they were only referred to as “Pete’s New Band”
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Their second show, they opened for The Killing Tree at an unknown southern Illinois college auditorium, and this is the show where they got their name from.
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With all of this information, we come to a halt. We are still trying to find anyone who would possibly have this footage, there’s possibly might be someone but not 100% sure yet (I wanna note that I did look on DePaul’s archives online and couldn’t do much without going in-person to look at their archives since I do not live in Chicago, I went as far as contacting the head digital archivist at DePaul and they do not have any footage, they would only have the footage if it was donated to them). We still need help finding some Information and anything pre-tttyg.
If you know anything please contact/email us at [email protected]
(Wanna mention that I did make a similar post, you can check that out as well)
Happy 22 years of being a band & best friends @falloutboy
(And we love you back!)
(Disclaimer: please do not message the guy we contacted, he was already contacted by us and answered our questions on what we needed)
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Round 2 Group D Match 6
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expand for propaganda! (major wall of text warning)
Henry Rollins:
"Honestly, Johnny Mnemonic Henry with the glasses and the lab coat was pretty hot"
"A wonderful physical specimen. Plus he’s really funny and weird….best hot ones interview of all time."
"I want him to run me over with a bus"
Stephen Malkmus:
"i can't even stand stephen malkmus but there's a very special girl out there who needs this win"
"My perpetually stoned, nonsensical girlfriend...if we don't invent the time machine soon I might die. He's like 6 ft tall so unfortunately I'd be like one of those birds that ride on giraffes and eat bugs out of their fur. And then I'd die in a weed accident during the recording of Wowee Zowee? Before that though I'd spend 25 hrs a day in bed with him. Alright thanks"
"Stephen Malkmus chronically addicted to moaning and gasping in Pavement songs like he’s getting the best dicking down of his life in the back of the tour bus while everyone else is asleep"
"This is the indie-label match, right? Then it has to be Malkmus, he *made* the scene. And he's still releasing excellent music today. He's just the most influential rockstar of the 90s."
"my gay pavement fan uncle gets out of prison tonight and he knows you ratted him out in '06. the only way to make this right is to vote for stephen"
"Pretty please vote for him, my friend loves him and he really wants him to win"
""There were times he refused to speak to his bandmates, pulling a jacket over his head and referring to himself as "the little bitch"." I have also heard him refer to himself as a brat, a queen, a primadonna, a sociopath, and a narcissist. All of these descriptors have made me want to slam him against a wall and turn his neck fun new colors."
"I mean, Pavement is THEE indie band of the 90s. The lowkey snark, Koreaaaa, so much style that it's wasted. And Malkmus is an understated cool rockstar: the hair, the face, Silver Jews! He never ever sold out. He's the 90s."
"the most beautiful man ever he looks like a gorgeous fairytale prince. he has been hot since he emerged on the scene and continues to be so as their reunion tour comes to a close. stephen forever"
"we have to consider the autism swagger. find me a pavement write up that doesn’t spend three paragraphs waxing lyrical on his inability to make eye contact. find me a YouTube comment section that doesn’t have hoards of moms swooning over his flat affect. his refusal to wear anything more formal than a flannel for the first decade of his career? genuinely culturally influential. 30 glorious years of expressionless performances. sunglasses in the dark. so many straight men falling over themselves for him they made a joke about it in the Barbie movie. raw tbh sex appeal. and he’s got a great nose"
"he had a couple of unfortunate haircuts during this period but highkey i would break both of my arms to just be able to make out with him. please vote for SM my life is in danger if you don't"
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A Betting Woman
AN: Hey y’all! So I’m trynna do some palate cleansers while I work on BTB3 cause lord is that one just emotionally taxing to create lol. 80% of this fic is just Riri and Shuri talking about you and how they view you so there's that. This was heavily inspired by the wonderful work of @generallysapphic who is thee supreme when it comes to Shuriri postings. There's someone else who wrote a Shuriri fic but I can’t find them anymore. Just some cute shit to post fr. Set on a timeline where you went with Shuri to defeat Namor but Riri is a super genius. 
Summary: Normally these types of moral dilemmas don’t bother Riri but after meeting your girlfriend, the queen of Wakanda. Riri decides to pay you a visit to end things. 
Pairing: Shuri x Fem!Reader, Riri x Fem!Reader and the beginnings of Shuri x Riri.
Warnings: Cursing, mentions of D/S dynamic, kissing, i think thats it. 
Translation: Sthandwa - my love , Entle - Beautiful & Usana - baby. 
Word count: 2,864 
Suggested listening: WILSHIRE - Tyler, The Creator. 
“It's morals I really have, it's lines I could never cross But you got somethin' that make All them good intentions get lost I try to keep it together, never felt this way”
Riri knocked quickly on the door three times, rocking on her heels as she did it. 
“Busy right now!” Someone called from the other side of the door. The genius didn’t know if the voice was yours or not but she didn’t care.
‘Oh no, that bitch did not.’ Riri thought to herself. She brought her fist to the door and knocked harder this time. Everything was always on your schedule and Riri was going to be damned if her ending this fling was on your time too. She heard some rustling around and the bed creek before the door opened up enough to reveal a person on the other side. 
The person Riri was expecting to see behind your dorm door was you, it was your room after all. Instead, she was met by the exact person she was here to talk to you about, Shuri. The taller woman stood in your doorway leaning up against the post. She was wearing a black sports bra and a matching pair of black sweats with golden embroidery on the side. The sweatpants hung low on her waist and Riri could make out the band of Shuri’s boxers. ‘She’s a Calvin Klein girl huh,’ The thought came to the mechanic quicker than she could stop it and she mentally cursed herself for getting so off track. 
“Riri Williams, right?” Shuri tilted her head to the side, allowing the name to roll off her tongue. 
Riri’s eyes flashed over Shuri’s figure one more time before she finally pulled herself together. “Yeah that’s me,” She cleared her throat. “Is uh Y/N here?” Riri tried to look further into the room but Shuri blocked her movements with her body. 
This unintentionally gave the younger girl an opportunity to ogle at the Queen’s perfectly sculpted abs and steal a glance at her waistline again, so she wasn’t complaining. 
“No Y/N is busy right now, can it wait?” 
Snapping back into the conversation Riri finally got back to her original plan. “No it really can’t wait, I’ve been needed to talk to her about this.” 
Shuri pondered over Riri’s words for a few moments looking her up and down as she did. Riri wondered if she might melt under Shuri’s gaze. Something about the monarch was slowly starting to make her weak in the knees. She averted her eyes back down to the floor, once again sneaking glances at Shuri’s body as she did. 
“Well I’m sure whatever you wanted to tell her, you can tell me and I’ll relay the message,” Shuri suggested. She had noticed the way Riri was staring at her and decided to play into it. “Is it normal for American girls to make it this obvious when they’re checking someone out, or is it just you?”
Riri snapped her head back up to meet Shuri’s eyes, “What!? I wasn’t- Why would you say that? No, I wasn’t! '' Riri slowly started panicking.
Had she really been that blatant in her staring that the queen would notice? And this was totally not what she came here for or what she had rehearsed saying. 
Shuri relished seeing Riri’s cheeks flush with a dark red blush as she tried to regain herself. “Ah. No matter.” Shuri said with a smile. “What is it that you wanted to tell Y/N?” 
‘No fucking way.’ Riri thought to herself. ‘No fucking way did I just get bested at my own game! Bitch had me stuttering over MY words when I came here to end shit with HER girlfriend. I can’t go out like that.’ 
Riri opened her mouth to speak, after brainstorming something logical like ‘No I need to talk to her in person.’ or ‘I literally have her location and know she’s here right now. I need to speak with her.’ All of those would have been rational things to say but instead what came out of Riri’s mouth was fueled by nothing but good old-fashioned Chicago pride. 
“I’m fucking your girlfriend.” She blurted out.
Shuri tilted her head to the side and chuckled lightly before turning around and closing the door behind her. Riri was left standing in the dormitory hallway staring at the now-closed door. What the fuck was she thinking?? Telling the Queen of arguably the most powerful nation in the world that you were not just seeing her girlfriend, but FUCKING her? Surely that was enough to get her killed and probably in a way no one would know. She would just slowly fade out of the popular consciousness until no one remembered her name; all over some pussy. Great pussy at that, but still. She was roused from her thoughts by the door opening and Shuri standing on the other side once again. 
“I know you’re ‘fucking my girlfriend.’” She said the last part in air quotations with a chuckle. “Are you going to come in so we can finally discuss this or just stand outside confused?” 
The question caught Riri off guard and she stood there staring at Shuri, unsure of what her next move should be. She hadn’t planned for this at all. She had expected to come to your dorm room today and completely end things with you. Normally she didn’t have an issue with sleeping with people who were cheating on their partners. That was someone else’s moral dilemma not hers. But after interacting with Shuri today while she was a guest speaker at a lab on campus, the guilt started eating her alive. 
Eventually, Shuri got bored of waiting and grabbed Riri’s shoulder pulling the small girl into the dorm room and shutting the door behind her. 
“Come in and sit down.” Shuri walked back over to the bed and hopped onto it. When Riri didn’t move it prompted Shuri to speak again. “Do not act like you do not know her room entle, make yourself at home.” 
Riri wanted to ask what entle meant but decided that was the least of her problems right now. She made her way over to the bean bag in the opposite corner of the room and sunk down into it. She could hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom connected to your dorm and assumed that's where you were since your location had pinged as here, yet you weren't in the room currently. 
“She shouldn’t take too long,” Shuri said noticing where Riri’s line of sight was going. “We can wait till she gets here or you can ask whatever you’d like to ask now.” 
The younger girl shifted in her seat and contemplated what Shuri had proposed. “I’ll wait for Y/N to get out of the shower.” 
Shuri nodded and picked back up the book that was lying on the bed. Riri watched Shuri intently as she read. How was she being so cool right now? Sitting in the same room as your girlfriend's lover would typically draw a stronger reaction out of the average person but the royal seemed to be in a very relaxed state. 
‘Duh’ Riri thought to herself, it’s because Shuri already knew. She had told Riri already so her presence couldn't have been that much of a surprise to her. This thought in turn only raised more questions for Riri. 
‘How long had she known?’
‘Was she upset with Y/N?’ 
And most importantly,
‘How much did she really know?’ 
Shuri looked up from her book and caught Riri staring at her once again, which must be a theme for the night. Riri cleared her throat and spoke. “I change my mind, I’d like to ask my questions and you answer them.” She paused, “Right now.” 
Shuri chuckled at the girl's forwardness. “Y/N did say you didn’t have much patience, I see she wasn’t lying about that… Among other things,” 
Riri swore when Shuri said it she caught Shuri looking her up and down. Shuri didn’t even give her enough time to react before continuing. “But go ahead, I’ll do my best to answer them.” 
“How long have you known about us?” 
“Since the beginning,” Shuri replied simply. 
“And you’re not mad?” Riri questioned, sitting up in the bean bag chair.
“Why would I be?” Shuri questioned back with a genuine look of confusion on her face. 
Shuri’s look of confusion was replicated on Riri after hearing her answer and seeing the woman's face. “Uhh, because while you’re in Wakanda saving the world and shit, I’m here with two fingers buried deep in your girl!” 
“Just two? Normally she likes three but whatever works for you guys really.” Shuri’s sarcasm left Riri’s mouth agape and which only fueled Shuri’s laughter. Once she had pulled herself together Shuri apologized and said she would actually answer Riri’s question, earning a huff of agitation from her. 
“You already answered your question in your question, entle.” Once again Shuri spoke coolly and used that entle word that Riri couldn’t understand. 
“What the hell does that even mean!” Riri sucked her teeth as she spoke. “No more weird shit, no more nicknames in other languages, just explain this shit to me 'cause it’s not making any sense.” 
Shuri nodded, understanding that Riri did deserve the full story. She wanted to wait for you to come out of the shower but the combination of not knowing exactly how much longer you were going to take and her sensing Riri’s agitation; she was compelled to speak. 
“What I mean by that is you gave yourself the answer already. Y/N is here for school for most of the year and I’m kept busy looking after Wakanda. My love has needs that unfortunately due to the distance most of the time I cannot fill. She’s permitted to fulfill these needs in any way she chooses, as am I.”
Riri looked dumbfounded once again as she digested Shuri’s words. “So you’ve known this whole time?” 
“Mhm.”
“About everything?” 
“Pretty much yeah.” Shuri tapped her fingers on her stomach where they lay interlaced. 
“Even the sex?” Riri probed. There was no way Shuri was just so chill about this. 
Shuri was humored, sensing that Riri was hoping to incite an angry response. “Yes, even the sex. Of which I only heard good things about so I must give you credit Ms.Williams, you kept my girl satisfied.” 
The blush returned to Riri’s face and she felt her lips creep into a smile upon hearing Shuri’s praise. Her cocky side came out and she decided to get smart. “You weren't worried I was gonna take her from you?”
“Oh, not for one second. Y/N’s collared, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.” Shuri replied confidently. Seeing Riri’s confusion she moved her hand down to the necklace resting on her chest; holding it up before letting it fall back down. “Never noticed her necklace? I know she doesn't take it off.” 
Riri’s mind flashed images of you and to Shuri’s credit in all of the scenes, a golden necklace with a small claw was hanging from your neck. Even in the ones where Riri’s head was buried between your thighs and your head was thrown back as you cam-
‘Focus Riri!’ She thought to herself. 
“So she’s your submissive?” Riri clarified.
“Wow, you are pretty smart. Maybe you do live up to that genius title after all.” Shuri quipped with a smirk. “But yes, Bast has gifted me with an amazing girlfriend and sub.”  
Riri desperately wanted to make a smart remark back at the royal but she stifled it in favor of getting more information about your dynamic Shuri. What she had learned thus far intrigued and turned her on. “And she listens to you, a hundred percent of the time?” 
“A hundred and fifty percent of the time.” Shuri corrected her. “Does she not do the same for you?”
“Hell fuckin no she does not!” Riri exclaimed. “There is not a bone in that girl's body that knows how to listen, everything with her is a fight.” 
“My Y/N? Never. She knows better than to even make me repeat myself.” Shuri was baffled at what Riri had said but also intrigued at the idea of seeing a more bratty side of you.
“I don’t believe it, she’s not physically capable of listening.” Riri tapped the side of her head to mimic how hard-headed you acted with her. 
The sound of the shower turning off, signifying your arrival soon gave Shuri an idea. “Do you want me to show you just how well she listens?” 
A smirk slipped onto Riri’s face as she picked up on Shuri’s idea. “Yeah I do, show me how well your girl listens.” 
Shuri let out a puff of air along with her laugh and nodded. You stepped out of the bathroom looking down at something on your towel. 
Let the show begin.
Your bathroom door was on the wall that ran parallel to where your bed was, so when you looked up you were first met with Shuri. “Whew! I needed that baby, I don’t think I was conscious for the first ten minutes of that shower.” You beamed as you made your way over to the bed, still unaware of Riri’s presence in the room. 
“Of course sthandwa. And more to come tonight, you know that. We wouldn’t want to be rude to our guests before that though. Why don’t you go say hello to our friend.” Shuri nodded past you and to the corner. 
You spun around confused at what “friend” Shuri was referring to and immediately alarm bells began ringing in your head. There sat Riri, looking calm as ever manspreading on your bean bag chair. 
“What’s up ma.” She said with a smirk. 
“Oh fuck no.” You murmured under your breath. Never in your life did you expect to mix your worlds like this. Sure both women had known about the other but never in a million years had you imagined them to be in the same room together. You instantly started moving towards the bathroom door, hoping to lock yourself in and formulate a plan without being under either woman's gaze. 
Of course, Shuri calling out a strong “Stop.” ended all hopes of that as a means of escape. “Go give Riri a kiss, I’ve taught you better manners than that.” 
You looked back at your girlfriend as if she had lost her mind. Yes, you had told her every detail about your relationship with Riri and described the sex in explicit detail. But to kiss her in front of Shuri? Something about that felt so wrong it was right. 
“You know I won’t repeat myself without punishment, usana. Go.” Shuri gestured over to Riri who was taking the whole scene in. She watched as you shifted your weight between your feet, debating if you would listen to Shuri. If Riri was a betting woman, she would have bet her entire life savings at that moment that you wouldn’t listen. 
Good thing Riri didn’t like to bet. 
You walked over to Riri and gave her a small smile, slightly embarrassed knowing that Riri just watched you fold to Shuri. “Hi.” 
“So you do know how to listen the first time?” Riri concluded, the smirk still on her face. 
“Only when the right person asks me.” You maintained, crossing your arms across your chest to keep the towel from falling. Shuri heard your response and let out a light laugh and a “Be nice my love.” 
“You heard what your girlfriend said though ma, gimme me a kiss.” Riri sat up in the beanbag chair awaiting you to make the move. 
You looked back at Shuri one more time, kissing other girls had never been an issue for you before but for some reason doing it in front of her felt different. Secretly it turned you on to know that your girlfriend not only ordered but encouraged you to kiss Riri. 
Fuck it. 
You bent down and Riri pulled your face to hers so that your lips met. As soon as they touched Riri hungrily devoured them savoring the taste of you. By now you knew her style and you opened your mouth slightly so her tongue could come in and meet yours. Shuri watched from the bed as you two made out, turned on by the hunger you both displayed. She could tell the two of you were getting into it, Riri especially as she brought her other hand up to cup your cheek.
Deciding this was the perfect opportunity to prove her point Shuri ordered. “Step back Y/N.” 
Once again if Riri could bet she would have bet her life on the fact that you wouldn’t pull away. You loved kissing and she could tell that you were especially enjoying this little makeout session by the way your chest was heaving up and down. 
And once again it was a good thing Riri didn’t bet often. 
You unlatched your lips from Riri’s and stood back up, taking a few steps back in the process. Riri’s eyes flashed between yours and Shuri’s unable to believe what had just happened. 
“Told you she could listen.”
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jerseymuppet · 1 year
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If you ask someone what thee running motif of mcr is, you usually get one of these answers: heart, death, finding strength, or something along those lines. All good answers! All correct! However, I think if you really broke everything down, you could say mcrs running motif is ‘stay’. Just, stay/staying. It comes up repeatedly throughout their discography, in so many contexts and iterations. Until it doesn’t anymore. I’ll get to that.
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Throughout their discography “staying” is a very prominent theme. It’s everywhere. Even if the word ‘stay’ itself is never uttered, the sentiment is still there. It’s heard as a statement, a plea, an act of rebellion; an absolution; a declaration of intent. It makes sense, in the grand scheme of everything. It fits with their message. ‘Stay with me, until the end. Hold my hand and never be afraid again. Take strength in knowing you’re not facing the hardest part alone, I’ll be with you.’ That’s mcrs message. Survive. Stay. The fact I can write it out using their lyrics says it all, honestly. But somewhere down the line, the message shifted. Mcr (more Gerard) no longer wanted to ‘stay’. Danger Days was the beginning of the end, and I think Gerard knew it. Whether conscious or subconsciously, that was when the message shifted from ‘stay’ to ‘leave’.
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This isn’t to say that the motifs of leaving or running away aren’t ever used before this, but it’s usually only in dire circumstances. Off the top of my head the only example I can think of is early sunsets (running away and hiding with you), which is a song based off dawn of the dead and also wasn’t even written by Gerard. I’ve talked about this on another post, but the way Gerard writes it’s so interesting because it’s the same themes, even the same exact lyrics, over and over. Yet, it never sounds the same. The other interesting thing is the way concepts will just, sit in his head for a while. A very long while. You’ll see glimpses of them, like little breadcrumb trails you didn’t even notice where being left for you to find and follow, until the you get to see the whole picture and realize it was always there. the leaving motif wasn’t like that, isn’t like that. It popped up out of nowhere. And I can’t help but wonder what caused it. A mix of things, the industry stifling the bands creativity; the fan’s reaction to such drastic change from them; Gerard’s mental health at the time. I think Gerard was right about mcr dying young, but I don’t think it was ever going to die in a car crash. I think it was more like the warmth and comfort of your home rotting away with you still inside. Where do you go? When your sanctuary isn’t safe anymore? You either leave, run away while you still can; or it collapses with you in it. I’m happy they got out in time.
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allgremlinart · 5 months
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hai good friend,, tell me about mai. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of her before… look what we are doing to our beautiful queens 😔
YIPEE I love when me going insane about a character for a day makes you curious about them... especially cus atp I can kind of predict what is going to pique ur interest
ok ok: so, Mai. She's 1/3 of Azula's Evil Girl Group, colloquially known as Ozai's Angels, and thats the context you see her in for most of the show which is why it's important to know. You know how all cartoons in the 2000s HAD to have ONE morose goth chic? Well she is atla's quota. She's a noble, she's an only child (THEE only child. The first only child they made at the only child factory <33), she fights with 🔪KNIVES 🔪!!! she's Zuko's canonical comphet love interest and she has a very understated but underrated arc..
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Her role/arc in the show:
I mentioned Ozai's Angels because her interactions with Azula and Ty Lee are the real meat and potatoes of her character. They're like... baby's first toxic yuri love triangle <3333 REALLY can't overstate how toxic yuri love triangle they are. Mai and Ty Lee end up betraying Azula in season 3 which is both the climax (imo) of Mai's arc and the inciting action for Azula's descent (but we're not getting into Azula never ask me to get into Azula please). A lot of people reduce Mai going turncoat to JUST being about saving Zuko - and like partially it IS. She saves Zuko from dying because she loves/cares about him and that's a big part of it.
But it's ALSO about her finding her voice ?? Like throughout the show we NEVER see her voice opinions about something unless it's to say that she's bored, or jaded, or what have you. She never seems to have strong feelings about anything; her stated reasoning for joining Azula's Imperialism Girl Band is because she's bored living with her parents 💀 but it's like. It becomes clear to the audience later in the show that she was raised to never speak unless spoken to, to mask emotions, etc etc LIEKKK SHE'S SOOO REPRESSED ONLY CHILD SHE'S SO WOMAN TM... So her telling Azula "I love Zuko more than I fear you" was THEE cuntiest moment EVER because it's like oh shit ?? this is something pretty unexpected from this character ?? Waow so crazy so cunt ??
A lot of people point out that she and Ty Lee never really got a "ohhhh Imperialism is bad" arc like Zuko did but. imo there wasn't a whole lot of room in the show for it lol. Would have been something interesting to explore in the comics for sure !! but uhmmm I'd rather walk into the ocean than watch Gene Luen Yang try and write about imperialism and colonialism again so maybe its better we never got that.. (no offense to him he's just... not that great at doing it in the atla comics...not his strength..)
Her reception in fandom:
She's usually only ever talked about in the context of being Zuko's love interest (either positively OR negatively) hence my post that you saw. Like. Victim Numero Uno of zutara/kataang shipping wars cus at least a bunch of people LIKE Aang whereas people either ignore or actively dislike her.
There's often discourse about like. Who's the "toxic" one in the Mai/Zuko pairing and it's annoying when she gets flak for it cus like newsflash: they both are. My GOD they both are. They've canonically broken up twice. They're the emo boy/goth girl pairing. They're cute together. They're miserable together. They're both homosexual. You get it.
Also a lot of times people just call her boring or emotionless and it's like congrats !! you have fallen for her facade... in conclusion... sorry this is so long uhm.. your fault for asking me though... how long is it going to take until I've just told you the entire plot of this cartoon piecemeal ask by ask...
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imalwaysinconfusion · 5 months
Text
Music Artists the Miracles✨ listens to:
-Kagami
Kendrick Lamar (HEAVY ON HIM)
J.I.D.
some underground soundcloud shit like he would say “yeah was there when so and so been posting on soundcloud” type stuff
LATTO
NICKI MINAJ
MEGAN THEE STALION (that’s his wife, has to fight aomine all the time over her)
yk he gotta keep up with his black american girlies 😫
he loves paramore… MISERY BUSINESS?!… shut him up
-Kuroko
lana del ray… don’t ask me why, i’ve never listened to her fr, but i see it for him
some pleasant smooth indie bands
Lake street drive, their song hypotheticals to be exact (very good song btw
anything easy listening honestly
80’s city pop
-Kise
def a kpop girlie
girl group stan
a blink and a ive girlie
takao HATES that he’s a blink they don’t talk about it
loves wony VERY MUCH, does not play about her
but he also ADORESS KEP1LER
started listening to del ray recently, (tetsu put him on) likes her a lot
loves ice spice and pinkpantheress, together and separately
listen to a bit of t-swift, just a tiny bit
-Murasakibara
A LOT of underground indie bands
anything with a lot of percussions
atsushi is a drummer so yk he needs to hear a lot of dem drums
alt rock, or just alternative in general
PARAMORE… he loves them found them before kagami mentioned them to him
FALL OUT BOY HEAVY ON THEM
loves skillet to went to see them in concert started crying
love the type of rap that’s like out of pocket but like who tf cares cause it goes hard
CHOCHISE… LOVES THAT MAN
mura love to dance so yk
-Midorima
a swiftie but will never admit it, kise and takao found out… GIRLLLLL
but all in all doesn’t really listen to a lot of music unless takao make him
so with that being said, he has been listening to kpop, female rappers, rap in general
he LOVES meg, he just loves how she tells her life through rap
and he just mesmerized by how it moves like water😩
oh and he loves shakira for some reason, the guys don’t know why, but kagami understands and won’t explain to the rest
loves the lo-fi girl instrumental study music, its soothing to him
-Aomine
yk he loves sexyy red 😭
“IM LOOKING FOR THE HOOOESS”
he just loves she don’t gaf
MONALEO LOVES THAT WOMAN DOWN
FLO MILLI
MEG, yk he tussles wit kagami
Cobra rock ver. ON REPEAT
HEAVY ON MR. JERMAINE COLE, cause yk he always talks about how he biracial, and aomine can relate with that
loves cardi so much, bongos 🤭
YK HE HAS TO LISTEN TO KPOP BOYS
yk he got all the bts boys solo shit on REPEAT
ATEEZ🗣️
(aomine my twin so yk🫶🏾)
-Akashi
ik it’s cannon for him to listen to classical but i don’t think he be actually LIKING THAT SHIT MAN
like i do think it’s brings him peace from a hard day and helps him to study but like to listen just to listen???
N O
HE LOVES HEAVY METAL
SLIPKNOT😫😫😫😫
Mibuchi got him on it
rock, alternative, 80s CITY POP
anything that reminds him of his mom
also anything that tries to reach his inner child since he never got the chance to be one
and kise and mura help him with that
AND HAYAMA
the veggietales and backyardagains soundtracks speaks to him he found out
also his dad also gave some of old music like bobby brown???? like okay mr masaomi
like ig you cool but you still suck as a daddy a person
so yk he LOVES WHITNEY HUSTON NOWADAYS
overall he needs to heal and is moving towards it
:)
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official-darkforest · 18 days
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i am SOOO unbelievably thrilled by your anthro au omg. do you have fashion ideas for the characters? like their favorite outfits, fabrics, etc? imo one of the best parts of anthro characters is deciding how they'd express themselves through their clothing :]
I HAVE A FEW ALREADY!!!! i dont have many specifics because theres so many characters ahd i havent drawn them all yet LOL but i'll share the ones i do have at least SOMETHING for
im also trying to keep these reasonable for the time period and location, as in my au the clan cats are mostly rural and in small towns set (mostly) before the 2000s so most may dress more modest and conservative (especially if theyre older and very religious)
squirrelflight - the best i can describe her sense of fashion is that it ranged from tomboy as a younger girl and is currently closer to a working class butch. im not sure if masc would be a more appropriate term since i dont hc her as a lesbian (shes bi) but she dresses "like a man" and owns a lot of jeans, slacks, and button-up shirts of all kinds of fabrics and patterns. she also enjoys bright colors as well, but as she got older her fashuon sense got a little more sensible and less "loud" like it was in the 60s and 70s. she also has glasses like her daddy once shes like 35 or so. she and firestar dressed very similarly, and a lot of her shirts and neckties are things she stole from his closet
feathertail - very feminine. hippie adjacent, lots of loose and flowing garments and jingly pieces. breatheable clothes and open toed shoes. her favorite swimsuit had some little frilly bits on it i think. often combines neutral earthy tones with blues and whites
crowfeather - lots of handmedowns from his father. clothes you can do farmwork in like jeans, overalls, hardy flannel/denim shirts and boots. never grew out of this and still dresses this way and he likes it
jayfeather - he looks like a modernized (as far as the 80s goes) version of his father - same hairstyle snd way of dress. he isnt too formal but does have some more preppiness to his clothing style (polo shirts and sweaters). he avoids full button downs since buttoning them himself jjust gets frustrating since he cant match them up every time. new wave band shirts. he also wears orange tinted glasses to protect his eyes (in this au i wrote that hes able to perceive shadows and light pretty okay, but not much else beyond that) And Kinda As A Fashion Statement cuz it goes well with his facial structure and hairstyle i think
lionblaze - hes like if the stereotypical jock and stereotypical 80s rock+metal enthusiast had a baby. muscle tees and bandanas, ripped jeans, those absurdly short shorts, crop tops, etc. he's a drummer i think if that matters LOL
ivypool - punk, also sorta like joan jett to an extent. very homemade, tho sometimes she gets lazy and doesnt really commit to the outfits all the way (but definitely has the mindset, dint get me wrong). one of those girls with a chest small enough to go braless 99% of the time; wears a lot of tank tops and sleeveless shirts LOL
bone/brick/scourge - just google "the outsiders movie" or "greaser" and you'll get the idea. tho i imagine these three in particular also have some kind of bare minimum formalwear scraped together from their escapades. theyre kinda like the jetts/sharks from west side story if that helps at all
daisy - she combines flowing, pretty dresses with a sunhat and work boots. she also teaches horseback riding and owns a few (its a business she runs w smokey and floss. i think its be funny if they were polyam ITS MY AU I CAN CHANGE WHAT I WANT) and she has horseback-appropriate clothing as well
poppyfrost - THEE preppy girl of the 80s. big hair, perm and all. dresses with pastel colors. her sisters cinderheart and honeyfern are pretty similar, tho i imagine honeyfern is a little more sporty and cinderheart takes inspiration from madonna once shes trying to court lionblaze
hazeltail - long haired country girl butch. enough said
spottedleaf snd cinderpelt are nuns lol
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piratefishmama · 1 year
Text
Crossing The Line | Part 9
“Eddie. Dude. You have to stop pacing, you’re gonna wear a hole in the goddamn floor and we ain’t covered for that.”
Eddie did not stop pacing, he just turned on his heel and went in the other direction, starting a fresh line in the floor. “But what if— nah, he wouldn’t… I doubt it, no he was probably just—but then what if—"
“Man, you’re spiralling, if he’s gonna come, he’s gonna come, if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t, what’re you worried about, you don't even like the guy” Eddie didn’t stop pacing. “Unless… Do you?”
“I… may have… actually looked into him?”
“You what?”
“After he turned up at the coffee shop! He was just… he was nice, dude, and… an he had no reason to be, at all, I was a bitch for a whole week towards him for no reason, but he was nice, and funny, and he can sing even if he can’t do shit with metal, he can sing, and… his photoshoots don’t touch up shit he really is that pretty, and I think i'm going to spontaneously combust and die if he turns up tonight dressed to blend in.”
“Wow.”
“Leave me alone!”
“Okay, so, what did you find out on your deep dive through Instagram?” Eddie finally stopped pacing. They were in what the bar deemed to be a ‘green room’ which was really just a room in the back for bands to get their shit together before the gig started, Corroded Coffin always turned up a good hour or so early to make sure everything was set, and of course, get rid of any pre-gig jitters. Gareth was the only one completely ready, his drums were already out there, set up and covered by a black sheet waiting for their time to shine, and his outfit was sorted ages ago.
So Gareth was the one currently in charge of dealing with Eddie, while the other two primped elsewhere.
“Not just Instagram, Jesus, imagine if I’d have scrolled too far back and liked a pic from like, 2001 by accident. How about no to that inevitable mortification. I googled.”
“You googled.”
“Yes I googled!! Did you know that he donated like, ninety-something percent of his earnings from a bullshit rom-com soundtrack deal to LGBT charities across the US after they cut a lesbian couple out of it?”
“No…”
“Neither did I! The fucker didn’t tell anyone!! I HAD TO DEEP DIVE INTO ROBIN’S INSTAGRAM! Trust me that was a scary thing to do, she’s scary. but he pulls that shit all the time apparently!” It wasn’t for publicity, it wasn’t to make himself look good to a demographic, he did it because he could. Because he wanted to. “Did you know he regularly terrorizes producers and directors into offering fair contracts for their child actors and young muscians like a goddamn world class showbiz babysitter?”
“…Nope.”
“Neither did I!! Did you know that he got PERMISSION to sing Crazy Train from the actual goddamn Osbornes? Cause I sure as shit didn’t know that either! He spoke to Sharon, DIRECTLY, Gareth, DIRECTLY. What the actual fucknuggets on fire, does he want with me?!”
“I dunno, to kiss you maybe?”
“WHY?!”
“Can’t claim to have an answer dude, you’re not exactly my type. Maybe you’re his, he did come all this way, right?”
“Pretty sure he could find a weird metalhead in his own damn town, y’know?”
“Maybe it’s not the metalhead thing, I dunno Eds, I just know that maybe this guy will be in the crowd, and if he is, hell yeah, you have managed to secure probably thee best opportunity we’ve ever had in the history of ever, by… being a bitch.”
“We’ve ever had?” Eddie looked at him with a small frown
“Yeah man! Steve Harrington is a huge star in the music world. Dude probably has his own goddamn recording studio in his place… maybe if it goes well… we could ask him if we could use it, save us some cash on a recording studio for demos.”
“…Dude. That’s. That’s kinda taking advantage isn’t it? An I’m not whoring myself out to get free studio time.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it, BUT if you start dating this guy—"
“Gare, anything you say that relates to me using my first potential relationship as a step ladder to fame, is SUPER shitty. Let’s not do that. If he offers, then… maybe, but… that’s not—I wouldn’t even think about asking for that, we wanna get where we’re going on our own, not have it handed to us, right?”
“Well… yeah but… a helping hand would be nice sometimes, y’know? Get us out of playing these shitty dive bar gigs and into the big leagues, you know I can’t stand part time work filling the gaps in the wages, man, retail managers always suck donkey dicks. I cannot work another summer at Staples, they have like no AC, it’s torture, it’s like an oven in there and Ralph doesn’t wear deodorant, he claims it’s an allergy, but I know, I know it’s not, he does it as a power thing it’s weird. This… could be our ticket out.”
“Steve isn’t a ticket. Maybe stop digging a grave you can’t climb out of, yeah? I know I wasn’t the best towards him but… he’s better, deserves better than that… I’m not using him. An honestly I dunno if I’d even know how y’know? It’s not like I’m bursting with experience… barely even—y’know what, I’m not talking about this, big nope on the using Steve as a cheat code to achieving fame! Let’s just… get our shit together and get out there!”
Gareth smiled before rising to his feet, drumsticks in hand “you’re the boss, man. Where’s Jeff an Frank?”
“Bathroom touching up their shit… promise me you won’t bring it up to Steve, yeah? Like… if he does come, you won’t—”
“Dude, dude… I was just throwing out dumb ideas to get you out of your head, I’d never, that’d be really uncool of me” Eddie looked at him with doubt because… okay, maybe there was a little truth to the interest in the subject, Gareth had worked part time in the stationary section of Staples for three years now and he was just about ready to die if he had to deal with his supervisors summer BO any longer, but if Eddie put his foot down and said no, then it was no, the idea was vetoed. Axed. Deader than dead
He could deal with Ralph. Probably.
“…Right, well… oka—”
The door opened, a frizzy head of hair poking around the entry way, one of the bartenders, “You’re on in five guys! Wh—Where’s the rest of you??”
“Gareth go get em for me? I’ll get the crowd warmed up.”
“On it.”
T-5 minutes. Gareth rushed out the opposite door to the bathrooms behind 'stage', otherwise known as the staff bathroom. The bar was heaving, music from the speakers to fill the void of sound before the live music act, loud and thumping, it’d be them soon, filling that void, deep breath. Eddie fluffed his hair once more, spritzed it with hairspray one last time, checked his minimalist eyeliner, and shook himself out, and grabbed his baby.
Show time.
Part 11
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couldawouldashoulda50 · 2 months
Text
A heart full of regret - Part 2 (William Nylander)
Part 1 is here
A/N - I’m going to start this off with an apology.  I’ve been writing as a female reader insert but did have a specific picture of someone in my mind for the reader herself, in terms of physical traits etc. Looking back, I should have probably made this a William x OC story.  I apologize if the body/hair/facial descriptions have made it difficult in any way to have the reader put some version of themselves into the story.  I’m sort of learning as I go along. 
I had planned to release this around the holidays but true to form, my personal responsibilities derail my escapism 😉
In this next part, there are some musician/song references to the late Shane MacGowan/The Pogues and Sinead O’Connor, as well as their respective funerals.  I have included the lyrics to the chorus of a song entitled Fare Thee Well Love by The Rankin Family (posted in the next blub 2.1) - but it’s passed off as a song written and sung by the reader.   While there are facts used as part of the story (including a couple of links to the reality), all of this is meant to be purely fictional.  
Warnings - overall 18+ themes (various sexual references), angst, alcohol, swearing, cigarettes, brief mention of illness/death - sorry if I missed anything.
Word Count 10K+
Thanks so much as always for dropping by.
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Early December, 2023
A wide grin spans your face as the broad man, with salt and pepper hair (more salt than pepper these days), approaches you.
“Hey handsome” you said cheekily followed with a wink, as he embraced you in a friendly hug. “I hope it’s still ok that I call you that….it’s the first thing that comes to mind every time I see you”.
“Best compliment I have had all day, next to my wife’s of course. How ya’ doin, kid?” Sheldon smiles at you as you step back from him.  Sheldon has always called you “kid” despite him only being  just shy of 13 years older than you.  
“Well then, as long as Jackie doesn’t mind that I call you that either”,' you smile as you and Sheldon walk toward the players lounge. “I’m doing well…busy, but good.”
“Ah well, you know my wife - she just laughs and agrees with you…she says you obviously have immaculate taste” Sheldon quips.
You chuckle and give him a little nudge. “Yeah, well, in most cases I do”, you smile.  “Dare I ask how you’re doing? I’m not asking about hockey…I just mean with the regular, normal-ish part of your life, if you even have that.”
“I need more normal these days than what I’ve been getting…but yeah, the kids and Jackie are all doing great. Thank God for them.”
You get the hint. The Leafs have been shaky out of the gate this season with inconsistent outcomes; it’s been like watching a pendulum swinging between pure magic and potential disaster.
You shoot Sheldon a knowing smile.
“Well, thanks for letting me stop by - I didn't like asking…I don’t want to ever be any kind of distraction, but I have something special to give Jake (McCabe) and Gaby wanted me to surprise him here after practice.”
“You gonna let me in on the secret?”
You lift the heavy coffee-table style book that you had been carrying along your side into view and run your hand over the smooth hard cover. Sheldon glances at the black and white photo of you spanning the surface. The photo was taken at one of your band's first sold out shows in Manchester back in 2010; you were just in your 18th year of life. Your long layered hair is tousled around your face; a cigarette dangles from your mouth.
“Yeah, I kinda love this. I’m so happy with how this turned out…the imagery and photography of all the guitars are amazing. We’re selling these books at the exhibit…it chronicles the collection of the guitars on display.”
You flip to a page showing a nickel and steel plated guitar from the 1930’s.
“I met Jake ages ago, back when he was on the Sabres. He and Gaby approached us after an acoustic show that we played. We just hit it off, all of us - Jake and I are both total guitar geeks and over time, he told me his dream was to have one of these nickel plated beauties. I said I had one that was rare which he totally flipped out about it - it’s this one in the picture”, you smile as you recount the conversation.
“Wow…it's really beautiful”, Sheldon leans over to take a closer look.
You continue your story, “So, I’m not sure - have you heard of Shane MacGowan?”
“Oh right, my brother became a huge fan when he moved to Belfast - Adam told me he passed. You knew him?”
“Our band has strong Irish connections with two of our members being from there; we met Shane and some of The Pogues a number of years ago. We managed to stay in touch - I was very fond of Shane, and he was of me. He was almost like a protective older uncle - know what I mean?  He had a rough go with that illness since last year and so after Sinead (O’Connor) passed, I stayed behind after her funeral and spent some time visiting him in the hospital. My heart breaks every time I remember him in that hospital bed - I haven’t been able to get those images out of my mind yet.”
Your emotions were already still pretty raw with your idol-turned-friend passing in July, but with another passing of someone you held so dear just a few days ago, you could feel your throat tighten with sadness and loss.
You took a deep breath. “Anyway, Shane played the same type of guitar in a duet he sang with Sinead back in the ‘90’s. Long story short, he had his wife give me the one he used for that song. As much as I love the one I already owned here, Shane’s means a thousand times more to me. So…I thought I would surprise Jake and give him this one, knowing how much he would treasure it”.
Sheldon continues to leaf through the glossy pages. “Y/N, you are pretty remarkable, you know that?” Sheldon throws his arm around you while discreetly looking at his watch. “I’m sorry, I gotta run but I know Jake will be coming through here any minute so just sit tight and he’ll be out. Oh - and Jackie was talking about having you over for dinner so she’ll be reaching out to you soon. See ya’, kiddo”. Sheldon gives your shoulder a little squeeze and then disappears down the hallway.
Over the years, you have become a welcome sight around the Leafs organization; your presence had essentially reached the point of being more or less commonplace and didn’t warrant the media coverage that it once did. You helped out with various MLSE charities as well, having a preference for more of the hands-on local charity initiatives, whenever time allowed it.
Ultimately, you had established some strong personal connections within the Leafs and their families, so whenever you were in Toronto, it was not an out of place thing to occasionally see you turn up at a practice or out to dinner with a few of the WAGs.
As you waited for Jake, various staff and players stopped by for a quick catch-up before heading home for the day. 
Jake eventually emerged in his Leafs tracksuit, freshly showered with a baseball cap on backward. He spots you and gives you a wide smile, mixed with some confusion, as he approaches you. Gio appears right after Jake and the two circle around you for a hug.
With the book concealed, you make small talk with the handsome veterans. They congratulate you on the gallery exhibit and they assure you they cannot wait to go and see it.
Two dogs suddenly appear out of nowhere; it doesn't take you long to determine they belong to William.
Knowing he would be appearing any second, you try to calm your nerves and focus solely on the dogs as they run towards you, jumping at your feet.
Your heart melts at the sight of them, and you gush “Oh my goodness, is this Pablo and Banksy?”
William hears your voice and stops dead in his tracks. His stomach flips and churns and his heart starts to race.
Oh my God, if that's her…holy shit…
He rounds the corner to see you bending down, allowing the dogs to completely envelop you.
“C'mon, whoa, whoa, whoa….boys - down…”, William chuckles and smiles at you somewhat apologetically.
“I don’t mind one bit…but you better listen to your Dad” you said to Pablo, giving him another scratch and rub as you stood up.
You smile at William who is posturing for an embrace and as his arms pull you in, as you reciprocate the gesture.
“How’s it going, William….” which you say as more of a statement than a question.
“Really good. It’s good to see you again”, William smiles widely, hardly believing you're in front of him now.
Before you melt or explode or however your body is reacting to his touch, you calmly say “you too” with a smile.
Turning back to Jake and Gio, you desperately hope you don’t appear as flustered as you feel.
William comes up on your one side while Jake and Gio, and even a few others have gathered around a countertop in the lounge.
“So, I have a bit of a surprise for Jake - that’s why I’m here. Actually, Jake’s wife is in on the surprise so I’m just going to call her real quick”. 
The men that had gathered look at Jake who appears a little panicked, but in the best way possible.
Gaby answers and you ask Gio if he could hold the phone up, showing her face on the screen, in which he obliges once waving hello to Gaby.
You flip the heavy, hardcover book around; everyone leans in to get a glance at the cover. William catches a glimpse of the photo of you on the cover.  He's not seen many images of you from when your career started, and the photograph captivates him immediately.  Your tousled hair, your eyes that always bore into his soul, and your beautiful mouth that many times had made William almost see God himself.
William discreetly gazes at you.
You had been polluting his thoughts since he saw you at Mitch’s wedding. He wished you could have stayed. He wished he could have talked more with you; maybe could have danced with you…or better still, touched you for the first time in 4 years.
As you begin to explain the details of Jake’s surprise, you try to tame the whirlwind of emotions that circle within you. Between the loss of a dear friend, the anticipation of giving Jake a guitar that he has only dreamt of, and the remnants of feelings that you carry for William, you have to pause a few times while you speak just to regain your composure and keep the tears at bay.
William watches you open the book, and as you flip to the desired page to show Jake his newest possession, pangs of guilt and regret hit William.
William was famous for his confidence; he rarely burdened himself with many heavy thoughts, as he did not waste time dwelling on the past or anything that he could not change. The anointed King of Unbothered. And, as well as that has served him in both his personal and professional life, there were rare moments where something or someone shook him right to his core.
As he studied the side profile of your face, at this moment, you were that very person. Someone he realized that he had carelessly, and foolishly, disposed of. He disposed of your friendship, your companionship, and your love. Four years ago, he cut all ties with you, which was well within his right to do. But, the manner in which he severed those ties, never once affording you the ability to say a word in response, still haunted him to this day. What was worse is that two years later, he reached out to you, seemingly desperate to get a hold of you, and then he ghosted you once you responded. Your head spun with even more confusion and hurt than you had ever felt before and as time went on, it was yet another proverbial nail in the coffin for you and William.
William mused that when he saw you at Mitch’s wedding, you could have behaved any number of ways. You could have gone out of your way to ignore him. You could have been snide and made his entire night hell. You could have berated him for his callousness. He probably deserved all three of these possibilities.
Instead, you greeted him with kindness and friendship, which to William, only further illuminated your ravishing beauty. The way you still managed to smile at him, even though he sensed a deep sorrow behind your beautiful, deep brown eyes, it rocked William’s typical carefree nature.
And now you stood before him and his teammates, gifting Jake a precious guitar simply because you knew how happy it would make him to have it. William’s chest heaved with a mix of deep desire and the stark reality of the mistakes he's made with you.
William’s mind snapped back to the present, smiling at his teammate as Jake reeled and appeared completely flabbergasted.
“I can’t believe you remembered that conversation about this guitar, Y/N…that was ages ago. Jesus - I still played for Buffalo at the time…I cannot believe you’re giving this to me” Jake said, his face flushed as he looked at you and then turned to his wife’s face on the phone “and you knew about this…” he grins at Gaby.
“Can’t wait to hear you play for me, baby”, Gaby said, blowing Jake a kiss.
“Ok, so once the exhibit closes, I’ll get the guitar prepped for you and have it delivered. There are some nuances to how to tune her so I’ll drop by sometime and walk you through it. Oh, and here - the book is for you as well” you smile wryly at Jake “sorry, I think I diminished its value by signing it….but there is a little note for you in there for you too” you chuckle.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this but thank you so much Y/N. I’m completely stunned.”
After hugs were given and goodbyes were said, the small group dissipated. 
You turned to see William standing off to the side, glancing at his phone while Pablo and Banksy lay at his feet.
“Awh, your boys are tired” you said, unable to contain your smile looking at the two dogs, and then at William. “They’re awesome - it figures you’d have the most fly dogs ever”.
“You ever think about getting one? I guess it’s hard with all your travel but you can take them with you. I take these guys along with me all the time, almost everywhere I go”.
“When COVID started, I was in London…I started fostering from a nearby shelter. I wanted to give the dogs that were constantly overlooked a chance to get out of that environment and see if we could get some viable adoption candidates. I have been doing that here as well - my last girl just got adopted after being in a shelter for over 8 years; I just haven’t had the chance to go see another one to bring home.”
You bring out your phone and lean towards William to show a picture of the last dog in your care, Siba, a nine-year old Asian Shepherd. 
William cheeks flushed pink as he catches the scent of your fragrance; a sudden urge to have his lips graze your skin as he recounts each location on your body where you usually dabbed each drop of perfume has his mind racing and his cock hardening.
Either side of your neck. 
Sometimes behind your ears. 
Your wrists.
Between your breasts.
Sometimes a little swipe across your navel.
“She’s so beautiful…” William said, hoping that you’d get the subtle hint he might be referring to you as well.
You shift uncomfortably for a second; he’s standing so close that you can feel his breath.
No. He didn’t get to do this to you again. The innocent remarks that whisper allusions to his desire for you is what you thought you wanted to hear for the past 4 years.  But, all the sentiment is doing now is creating havoc in your mind.
You swipe the screen to close the photo down and drop the phone back into the pocket of your coat. You turn back to William and smile, now in a little more control of yourself than before.
“Christmas came early this year I guess…for both Siba and Jake.” you said, as you lean down to pet the dogs again and say goodbye.
“Oh - wait…speaking of Christmas…” William hesitates, sensing a slight change in your disposition. “I have been meaning to get in touch with you about that…”
“Oh, right - yeah…no worries…your Mom reached back out to me and said you gave the thumbs up for staying at the house. She mentioned you would reach out but I’m sure you’ve been pretty busy.”
William has an inkling when you’ve mentioned him being “busy”, you’re not referring to his hockey schedule.
“I’ve been working out some details with your parents already…it’s all good.” You tried not to sound too curt but there was a definite chill in your response.
William senses the conversation is quickly derailing.
William’s voice becomes low and soft. “Hey….maybe we could still get together sometime?   Maybe drop by sometime?  I'd kinda like to be involved with the Christmas thing and… it’s just there are some things that we maybe need to talk about.”
Talk. He’s about a million years too late for that, you think to yourself.
“If you feel there’s a need, sure. Let me know when and where…you moved, right?”
William’s expression changed, showing shades of remorse. “I’ll text you the address. I just have practices for now; we don’t play until the 7th so any afternoon is good. Today even, if that works for you”.
“I’m flying out to Ireland again late on the 5th so yeah - maybe today or tomorrow…” 
Thinking back to your conversation at Mitch’s wedding, William joked with a slight smirk “Ireland again? Not another funeral I hope…” 
You quickly looked away, tears threatening to well up in your eyes. 
“It is, actually” you said softly.
Oh my god, you idiot, William berated himself in his mind. ”Fuck…Y/N….I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have joked”.
“No, I know, Will. It’s ok…I’ll be ok” you smiled, faintly. It seemed like, for the thousandth time that day, you fought to suppress the ache deep within you and had to fight back tears.
William gently reached for your hand and pulled you into his arms. Involuntarily, you gripped onto his hoodie, probably a little too tightly, all in an effort to not completely fall apart in front of him.
You pull away, still trying to hide the anguish on your face with a smile. It broke William a little to see you struggling to maintain your composure. Always putting on a brave face, no matter how cracked or broken you felt, was what you did. It was how you were wired.
“Here…if you’re leaving, I’ll walk you out to your car” William said, searching for his keys in his pocket.
You were tempted to come up with an excuse to avoid spending any additional time alone with William, simply because every molecule in your body was inexplicably drawn to him.
Fresh out of reasons or rationale, your mind was too overwhelmed lately to come up with the excuse needed to flee in the opposite direction. The 4 of you walked down the corridor together in a comfortable silence, and exited into the parking lot.
Pablo and Banksy bolt forward out into the daylight, but do not stray far from their Dad, as they happily jump on each other while nearing your vehicle. William smiled to himself and shook his head. Of course your vehicle of choice wasn’t a super luxury SUV or sports car. You took your key fob out and unlocked the black crew cab 4x4 truck. He could picture it now; you in your tank top and jeans, covered in dirt and dust with your work gloves on, hauling lumber and bags of concrete mix for a mini home project.
You were always a parallel of opposites.
Poised and immaculate at high-profile events and functions versus you at home, decked out in ripped work clothes with sweat and sawdust stuck to every part of your body.
Your ultra-cool and larger than life demeanour on stage as you absorbed the electric energy from the crowd versus your sometimes quiet, humble, and super composed personality off stage.
Your vocabulary and your way with words versus your ability to spout off more profanity than a pissed-off truck-driver.
The innocent and submissive side you showed William while making love on many occasions, when he was between your thighs versus the absolute rocket you became when you flipped the switch and took complete control of his body.
“So….what about today. Do you think you could come by later on…I could order in some food - we could catch up?”
You open the door to your truck and Pablo and Banksy both put their front paws on the running board, their tails wagging furiously.
You look at them and chuckle, and bend down to let them bombard you with affection.
“Yeah, you know what…sure, that sounds good. But if you don’t send me your address and end up ghosting me yet again…William….I just - don’t even….”, shaking your head and chuckling, leaving the sentence unfinished. You hop into the truck and William shoo’s the dogs away from the truck door.
“Awh - Y/N - fuck…” William winces at your sarcasm, rubbing the back of his neck, showing a mix of guilt and acknowledgement that he deserved it. “I’m not going to do that”.
“Uh-huh….famous last words,” you said in a cheeky tone, rolling your eyes as you turned the ignition on. “I guess we’ll see you later…bye boys…”.
William chuckled and watched you drive off towards the exit. Walking back to his SUV with the dogs in tow, he felt an excitement, to the point of giddiness, which he hadn’t felt in ages about anyone. He had no idea how the future would pan out but he could at least look forward to tonight so the two of you could finally clear the air. 
William arrives home and after one last bathroom break for the dogs, he starts his typical routine of making calls while eating whatever he picked up from the chefs at the rink or on the way home. He knows your food preferences and makes a mental note of which restaurant he’ll call for take out from. The last thing he does before his afternoon siesta is a quick home delivery order of red wine and other essentials.
He stretches out on the couch that he recently had deep-cleaned due to his last few
sex-capades, none of which seemed to end well or at least warranted an invite for a return visit. He begins to drift off; his dogs curled up around his feet and legs.
Panic suddenly grips him as he realized he had not sent you his address.
See? no 👻 - 😉 William texts as he sends you the address.
If I had forgotten - what a fuckin disaster William thought before falling into a restful sleep.
A couple of hours later, and at least an hour before William was ready to wake up, his phone began to dance and vibrate on the coffee table. Groaning, he grabs the phone off the table and fumbles with it until he can focus on the caller.
The name “Trina” is illuminated on the display.
“Fuuuuuuck” William grumbles while forcing the call to voicemail. “Should have fucking blocked her”.
Since the last time William and Trina had seen each other, there had been a few harmless texts; mostly Trina following up on William’s health and well-being. 
Despite the rather unappealing outcome of their last meeting, William had started to think perhaps he had been too hasty in judging their first sexual experience together. She was beautiful, eager, and readily accessible; these are the exact qualities William needed for a short term fling. He decided to keep his options open, although he continued to feign being unwell until he was ready to see Trina again.  
This all was, of course, prior to William seeing you again.
A voicemail notification appears on the screen followed by a text message bubble.
Missing you - let me come by and make you feel better 
William rubs his hand over his face, stroking his moustache as he thinks about how to respond. Thanks but I’ll be ok. Just need some more rest. I’ll msg you soon. Good enough, William thinks and sets his phone back on the table. 
He leans back on the couch, and closes his eyes again, when another chime sounds from his cell.
“Jesus - take a fucking hint…” he mutters, grabbing his phone. 
It’s from you:
You sure about the no 👻… you didn’t tell me what time… have you already started 🏃?
William laughs and responds:
I’m not gonna 🏃… too tired.  I might hide tho.  How’s 5?
Dots appear as you type your response:
Ooof 💀. K - see you then.
90 minutes from now. Fuck. I should have told her 4.
William continues to read your text exchange over again as he smiles to himself. You always succeeded in making William laugh, no matter how small the exchange was. Your individual senses of humour seemed to mesh flawlessly - he seemed to get you and your little idiosyncrasies, the same way you understood his.
He looked forward to the possibility of earning your friendship back and maybe even more. William wondered if you had met anyone; he had heard rumblings a while ago about you catching the eyes and interests of a few other NHL’ers but he hadn’t heard anything since. In William’s mind (and he was aware he had no claim on you), he dreaded the idea of you being with anyone, but there was something so much worse if that guy was another hockey player in the league. 
He pushed those thoughts to the side; he would need to establish rumour and fact later, and it made him queasy just thinking about it.
Rather than trying to steal a few more minutes of sleep, William putters around the condo tidying up here and there, but feeling no pressure in having the place look unlived in.
Nerves were starting to build. William seemed to wander aimlessly from one room to the other, serving no other purpose than to kill time. Although he had a shower after practice, William decided on another long shower to help him relax, and to allow him to take some additional care with his grooming regimen.
William steps into the hot water and closes his eyes as the warmth and the steam envelop him. Every quiet moment lately, William has thought about the two of you and your past. Memories that never seem to erode; images that William would often rely on when he needed to drift off to sleep or relieve some built up “tension”.
Streams of water weave their paths down William's broad chest, through his chest hair and down his toned abs, eventually trickling down the veins of his cock, and dripping off the tip. He begins to feel a stirring, an urge with the thoughts of your arrival. William's strong hand gingerly wraps around his shaft and he begins to pump himself with long, methodical strokes.
He remembers the occasions with the two of you in the shower….
….you on your knees before him and encouraging his cock further into your mouth until the tip is rubbing against the back of your throat. With his hand fisting the hair at the back of your head, you allowed him to fuck you deep in your mouth until you tasted the pre-cum seeping onto your tongue. William marvelled with how much your mouth could accommodate as you expertly controlled your gag reflex and breathing.  It seemed with your years of voice and mouth exercises, the benefits were many, beyond simply increasing your vocal range and pitch.  
As William spouted broken sentences of praise for what you were doing to him, you would masterfully take control of his cock with your hands, stroking his girth, alternating between licking and sucking the rounded head as it turned shades of feverish reds and purples. William’s grunts and loud groans never ceased to arouse you as William began climaxing.  You lapped at his balls, gently sucking on them as you continued to pump his shaft.  You ached to hear the warnings before he cums, desperately waiting for him to unload.  Gripping his ass, your mouth engulfs his cock, your head moving back and forth at a frenzied pace.  You force the oozing head towards the entrance of your throat.  William’s hand cradles the back of your neck, allowing you to look up.   Your eyes locked on each other as his seed coated the inside of your mouth. You smile as you enjoy the taste of him, and slowly guide his cock away from your open mouth as strings of your spit mixed with his cum stretch from the head.   Your eyes remain fixed on his; soft smiles and intimate words are lovingly exchanged as you continue to lap, suck and fill your mouth again and again with his generous cock.
William shuddered as he watched you intently overtaking his semi-erect member into your mouth.  With you maintaining his heightened arousal, the urge to spread your thighs apart for him to greedily feast on your pussy took hold. You always claimed to be a better giver than receiver, but William was now hell-bent on respectfully pushing your boundaries. Without fail, each and every time, you had given him the hottest oral of his life, and William was determined to reciprocate until your pussy was properly worshipped.
He pulled you up and pressed you hard against the shower wall with his thick and muscular frame. He scanned your face, focusing his gaze on your lips; he watched as the water washed away the remainder of his cum that had oozed from your mouth.  He used his thumb to slowly guide the fluids back into your mouth, allowing you to suck on the tip of his thumb.  He kissed you; his lips were hungry and eager on your mouth as his tongue manoeuvred around yours. His hands moved skillfully from massaging your tits, down along your sides, and towards the front of your abdomen. You let out a gasp and bit your lip hard as 8 fingertips gently landed with a faint, feather-like touch near your pussy, as he began to lightly graze your wet and ready folds. You begin to shiver at his touch and have the goosebumps to prove it; your pussy is past the point of throbbing and you are almost on the fringes of insanity waiting for William to binge on your core.
He wanted to mark you tonight. His mouth slid down your body, nipping and sucking some of the most pleasurable, albeit discreet, areas of your toned body. As he knelt on the shower floor, he caressed your long leg, leaving love bites at the apex of your slender thigh which he then guided one over his shoulder. His mouth instantly latches onto your folds as he slowly strokes your clitoris with his pointed tongue. You shriek, reacting to William suddenly engaging his jaw muscles to tongue-fuck you in concert with mercilessly licking your clit. William rubbed his facial hair repeatedly over your most sensitive spots, feasting on your swollen pussy as if it was his favourite dessert, moaning with pleasure as your arousal hit his taste buds. He loved hearing you cry out his name, watching you let go of your usual collected composure and allowing him to help release your inner inhibitions.
As an added bonus, he inserted his middle and ring fingers slowly and deeply inside your cunt. He adjusted and moved the ends of his fingers eventually hitting the most desirable spot as he watched you writhe in pure ecstasy. He wanted to see you succumb to the sensation as he continued lapping and stroking your clitoris with his tongue. He began to move his fingers rapidly in and out of your entrance, until your thighs began to shake and quiver involuntarily. William increased his already formidable pace with his fingers and his tongue as you fight not to collapse under the sheer magnitude of your impending orgasm.
And when he brings you to the highest level of pleasure, he vigorously gyrates his fingers deep inside your core, inciting you to cry out as you squirt for him. After he made you spray for him a few more times, he laced his fingers with yours and he stood up, pressing you against the shower wall again. One hand slides back down to your pussy and he gently rubs two fingers against your engorged clit. William’s eyes are locked on yours as he slowly pulls his fingers up to his mouth, and wipes the sheen from your arousal on his pouting lips. He runs his tongue along the shiny trail he made with his fingers, whispering in your ear of how delicious you are.
Back in a lonelier shower, William’s head falls back under the steady stream of hot water that begins to collect in his open mouth as he’s reaching his orgasm. He spits it out and begins to grunt as streams of cum erupt into the flow of water heading to the drain on the shower floor.
He pants for a moment, catching his breath. He needed that. He needed to take the edge off before you arrived.
William steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his midriff. The steam quickly dissipates as he exits the bathroom into his bedroom, and he takes his time selecting the relaxed and casual attire for the evening. He glances at his phone to check the time. 4:30.
He sighs and smiles slightly; he’s really looking forward to tonight, to just have you there relaxing on his couch, catching up on the past few years.
He checks his messages, making sure there was nothing new from you.  There is, however, another text from Trina.
My friend and I are going to Mademoiselle for Happy Hour and then dinner. Maybe it will do you good to come out - we can all have a little bit of fun?
Knowing the message will show as being read, William sends a short response.
Not tonight, but thanks anyway.
Trina responds with just an emoji showing her disappointment.
William shakes his head and finishes getting ready. Minutes tick on but it feels like hours, and he’s getting impatient.
The ringtone on his phone assigned to building Security begins to chime, startling William for a moment and each of the dogs perk up their ears in response. He answers the call and his stomach flips once the guard announces your arrival.
He can hardly believe how nervous he’s become and silently kicks his own ass in his head for being so ridiculous. But on the other hand, it’s you. The one girl he still finds himself longing for after so many years.
He props the door open wide enough so you can spot him once you get off the elevator; Pablo and Banksy sit at William’s feet anxiously anticipating the arrival of someone new.
Once the elevator reaches William’s floor, he can hear the chime and the doors sliding open. You step into the plush waiting area and then follow the signs pointing to the appropriate suite number.
You round the corner and see him waiting in his doorway. It’s no use to try and conceal your smile when your eyes land on his grinning face. He opens up the door allowing the dogs to fly down the hallway in your direction.
William watches you beam with delight as you bend down to greet the two.
After tummy rubs and a lot of cooing from you, the dogs follow you back towards the condo where you greet William with a friendly embrace.
William takes a moment to gaze at you; your curls are contained by a loose bun, you are dressed in a tan coloured pea coat, black turtleneck with black slacks. You managed to make clothing that were simple and understated look elegant and absolutely fucking sexy. He inhales deeply - your appearance already has William rattled.
He takes your coat and you remove your heeled boots at the entranceway. The dogs follow your every move as you scan his condo. Had it not been December and the days being so short, you could imagine how a sunny day would radiate throughout the place from the large windows and glass balcony doors from the living room.
“This is really beautiful, William. Such a fantastic part of the city too,” you said smiling, your eyes wide and shining.
“It’s small, but I’m on a waitlist for a larger place up on the penthouse floor. It’ll be better when my family comes to visit…so they don’t need to crash at your house at Christmas again” William laughs. 
“Well, yeah…I get it but I have to say, I’m really looking forward to having them stay. It’s far too big for just me, so having some life around will be amazing. At the very least, I’m hoping someone in your family will kick your ass at ping-pong…or at any of the other games, really…” you smirk.
“Ha, yeah…never gonna happen…” William laughs.
“Ah, well…pardon me as I try to squeeze by the giant ego that just arrived” 
“Ouch…hey, I'm just telling it like it is”.
You roll your eyes and scoff. “Ok, King...let’s leave it there.”
The conversation and friendly banter ensues; there are no awkward moments or strained silences. The shared mood is happy and light and soul-warming, much like it had been all those years before. There was a tinge of bashfulness at times as you both would steal glances at each other. It seemed apparent that you both were still very much attracted to one another.
Prior to seeing him, there were moments that you found it annoying to still have these feelings simmering just beneath the surface, given your spirit had been shattered for much of the past four years. Nevertheless, he wasn't to blame for the anguish you shouldered…it's how life was; you caught deeper feelings for him than he did for you. End of story.
At that very moment, it didn’t matter anyway. Or at least, you were going to bury those thoughts way back in the proverbial closet for tonight.
The wine arrives via delivery, followed by dinner. You both opt to sit on the floor and eat at the coffee table in the living room, devouring the variety of sushi and sashimi pieces William had selected.
You filled him in on some of the different music and business ventures you had been a part of since COVID. He asked you about certain gigs and various celebrities, trying to get you to spill some dirt (although tempting, you did not oblige). 
He in turn told you about some of his brother’s exploits with women, and you reminisced about the old days and the unhinged female drama involving Kasperi and his ex-girlfriends that you witnessed firsthand a number of years ago.
Your muscles in your face began to hurt from smiling and laughing; it’s been forever since you’ve been able to truly unwind like this. You realize that the wine is going down far too easily and you felt a little more buzzed than you should, with remnants of jet lag still plaguing you from the previous round trip from Europe.
William had excused himself to the bathroom, and in an effort not to submit to the wave of drowsiness that was creeping in, you got up off the floor and started cleaning up the containers and plates scattered around the table.
William appears from the hallway and tells you to leave everything - he will clean it up later.
“Ha – no, I need to move - I had a brutal travel schedule at the end of November and it nearly killed me. This exhaustion just strikes whenever, so I had to at least stand up…otherwise, you’re going to find me passed out on the floor.  I feel like a narcoleptic lately.  Plus - that wine…is really, really fucking good…I feel a little drunk,” your face flushed as you laugh.
“You can stay here tonight, if you want?”
You hesitated as waves of nostalgia and cautiousness, in equal measure, washed over you. “Are you sure - I wouldn’t want to cramp your style…”
Before you can stop yourself, you blurt out some musings - or misgivings rather - about his current love life that had been bouncing around in your head.
“I’m sure your dance card is pretty full these days…maybe you’ve got a young model-type waiting for you later somewhere?” you try to joke as you rinse off the plates and stack them in the sink. Your fear that he'll see right through your comments as you look for some clarity on his current love life.
William chuckles and shakes his head; he knows this is partly because of what has been stirred up about his personal life during the Sweden trip.
Touch her. Hug her. Kiss her….do something William thinks.
“I’m positive…I really like this…us hanging out, you and me again. And…please - stop cleaning up” he laughs.
William offers you a small towel and helps you dry off your hands. He smiles as he gazes at you.
“It's really been amazing to see you,” William says softly.
You're certain that the surface temperature of your cheeks are reaching five alarm status as he pulls you closer against him as he leans against the kitchen counter. William feels your light touch as your hands gently lay on his chest.
He searches your face. “And we haven’t really talked about the stuff from before - with what happened with you and me. Do you think maybe we should?” William asks quietly.
You can only manage to look directly into his eyes for brief moments; anything longer will make you crumble.
“I think we can shelve it…it’s not going to change anything that happened before. It’s been such a fantastic evening already…I don’t think we should spoil it by dredging everything up from the past.”
You stare at the thick chain around his neck using it as your main focal point.
 “Yeah, ok…you’re right. It doesn’t change anything that went down.”
You nod your head and look up at his face, blushing more heavily as you try to contain your wide smile.  
Your head is swimming but your need to be in control of your emotions takes hold, and you apologetically excuse yourself and head to the washroom.  William just smiles and lets his hands slide down your hips as he releases you from his embrace.  
You try to stabilize your heart rate and your thoughts. Your desires versus your logic are each trying to get the upper hand in your mind. You take your time, willing yourself to sober up a bit before heading back out to William. You drink some water from the tap to try and dilute the effects of the alcohol you’ve consumed. You study your reflection in the mirror and after repositioning a few curls here and there and applying a little more lip gloss, you exit the bathroom.
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door spurring the dogs to start barking. You hear William pad over to the entrance and pause for a moment before turning the lock and opening the door.
You hear a female’s voice shriek “Willy!! Heeeey….I missed you so much”.
You can hear the sound of bracelets clinking as the woman wraps her arms around William, followed by an audible kiss. It's crystal clear that she currently has something going on with William.
You hear the dogs muffling whines once William gently commands them to quiet down.
You stop dead in your tracks, feeling completely trapped. Part of you wants to return to the bathroom and not hear any of their conversation. The masochistic side, however, wants to hear every word.
Your brain begins to spiral out of control.
How did you manage to misread this situation again? What was that in the kitchen….was it meant to be platonic? Would he invite you here just to tell you about her?
It feels like a literal punch in the stomach, and you instinctively place your hand over your abdomen as though it would help numb the ache coursing through your body. You stand in the hallway, completely motionless as if your feet were concrete blocks.
“Trina, what are you doing…I mean, how'd you even get in?”
“I dunno, the security guy and the other one were dealing with somebody, someone else was leaving, they held the door, so…we just walked in. Oh, this is my best friend, Lara. I told her how fucking amazing our first date was. She's a fan of yours too. We were out for a few drinks and I thought the two of us could come by to help you feel better. You and I haven’t seen each other since the last time….I know you said not tonight but here we are,” Trina giggled, her words slightly slurred from intoxication.
Lara glared at her friend. Trina had said William was ok with them coming over anytime she wanted, and she claimed he would be game for anything they wanted to do.
William’s present demeanour is definitely contradicting Trina’s story.
For years now, Lara, being the pragmatic one of the two, had been suspicious of how much truth was behind Trina’s claims when it came to the men she had met and dated. True, William and Trina had sex; that much was obvious. However, based on the number of times Trina initiated contact versus William, Lara surmised William might be only willing to meet solely on his whim, given the tone of his short and dry text messages that Trina showed her. Trina was too wrapped up in all the media attention William had been receiving lately to even notice the bland tone behind each of his responses.
When Trina and Lara arrived at Mademoiselle that evening, Trina was clearly on a mission, ordering multiple Perfect 10 Martini’s because, in her inebriated words, she was exactly that. Her mission was to make sure William felt that about her too.
When Trina came up with the brilliant idea of dropping by William’s in order for the two ladies to seduce him and coax him into bed, Lara thought there was no way she was being serious. Lara allowed Trina to call the shots just to humour her; she had learned long ago it was better to play along first before pulling the plug straight away on Trina’s antics. If Lara was being honest though, the exciting flipside of this situation is that if she was ever going to have an opportunity for her first threesome (and if he was truly willing), it might as well be with William Nylander.
As Trina continues to ramble about their evening and some explicit ideas she has for the hours that lie ahead, Lara scans the scene in the living room. Her heart drops when she realizes William is not alone. First she spots two wine glasses - William had filled up your glass while you had stepped away to the washroom. She looks over to see your Louboutin stiletto boots placed off to the side. Then your jacket. She glances at William and can’t quite determine what emotion has registered on his face.
“I….I’m sorry William - I didn’t know you told Trina not to come by tonight” Lara interjected. William looked toward Lara and verbally confirmed, he definitely told her not tonight.
“I have a guest so it would be better if you both just head home” William said calmly.
Trina’s eyes suddenly widened. “A guest??” Trina's voice is raised as she emphasizes the last word. “Do you have another girl here tonight? Where is she? So…what - is she fucking HIDING? Come on out, bitch…let’s see you - I guarantee it, you got nothing he wants” Trina yelled into the air as she looked around the space.
“Alright - enough…you need to leave or I’ll fucking calling security…” William's jaw was clenched as he warned Trina and Lara.
“No - please William, I’m so sorry…we’re leaving. I'm so embarrassed - she said we could come by.”
Lara grits her teeth when she looks at Trina. “You…we’re going….NOW…”
Lara grabs a hold of Trina’s trench coat and half guides but partially shoves her as she stumbles down the corridor. Lara’s voice was a low growl as she berates her until the elevator arrives.
William watches the two girls vanish around the corner to the elevator, hearing the chime as it arrives on his floor. He steps out of the doorway into the hall making a call down to security to ensure they have exited the building. Sometime soon, William will have to go down and find out how they got in from the get go.
He stood there, exasperated as he rubbed his forehead as he re-entered the apartment. The dread of facing you now is creeping into his mind. William is genuinely worried that the fallout from tonight’s events is that you won’t want anything to do with him going forward.
Indeed, that was one of the many thoughts going through your mind. You knew you were judging him and his lifestyle, and you knew you had no right to do so. Just because you chose to abstain from casual sex or any kind of relationship for all these years, certainly did not mean he had to do the same.
You’ve known all along that he was super popular with women. He didn’t have to do much to have girls reaching out to him in droves. Through various means, you also knew he took advantage of his popularity, with being spotted out and about with a number of gorgeous girls over the years.
However, acknowledging reality in theory and seeing it first hand was completely different.
As you stood there listening to Trina drunkenly spout off details of what she and William had done previously and the plans she had for him tonight, you wanted to wretch. The worst part about it was you knew your soul that you still wanted him, but William had moved on, many times over. 
You and William may have started as convenient and casual hook-ups but it never was just about sex with you. It was about all of him. No amount of time or distance or how much you pushed it down could cure you of your feelings for William, up to this point anyway.
But now, all you can feel is torment and defeat from that gut punch from the last 5 minutes. The universe had to be telling you something; the first time you spend time together after four years had passed, and within hours, he had two women show up at his door propositioning him for a threesome.
Here you stood, the week before your 31st birthday, a multi-platinum award winning musician, composer. entrepreneur, philanthropist, advocate, model, actress, and the list went on.
Yet, with all of your achievements under your belt, right now, you were just another girl in a veritable ocean of females all vying for William’s affections. If there was ever a chance that something could have transpired tonight between you and William, the moment has now been instantly derailed by some drunk girl who fucked your ex-hook-up….lover…whatever label fit.
At the end of the day, William could fuck whomever he wanted. He could do whatever he pleased with as many girls as he chooses. It’s his life… It was his decision how he wanted to enjoy his downtime and really, it was none of your business anyway.
Your sometimes passive-aggressive nature, mixed with hurt feelings, made you want to see him twist a little. As you appeared from the hallway however, his expression made you think twice about adding to his misery.
He looked completely crushed, embarrassed, and lost. “Are you ok?” you asked, softly.
“It’s more like, are you…” he said. “Y/N, I am so sorry”.
“Well, it doesn’t seem like it’s really your fault, though…I’m assuming you didn’t know she would sneak into your building, hammered …and well, try and…” you nod your head toward the bedroom.
“Well, no…but I sorta led her on. I’m not even sure why I did…she was kind of…I dunno…like…just there” William struggled to come up with the right word.
“Available…”
” “Yeah…something like that” William confided, feeling a little embarrassed.
He pulls you towards him. “So much for the fantastic night…I guess I ruined that” he said into your ear.
Based on the looseness of your embrace, he knows your feelings have shifted. William feels horrible, desperately wishing he could rewrite the past ten minutes.
You took a step back and you could feel your expression soften. You manage a faint smile and tell him that it was mostly fantastic - even amazing - night but you could have done without the plot twist at the end.
“So….I think I’ll grab an Uber or something and head home, if you’re gonna be ok?” You paused.
No, I’m not ok. I want you to stay here, he thinks to himself.
“Maybe you should stay. Seriously, that girl - just in case she gets it into her head to hang around and watch whoever leaves the building” William says gently.
“Shit…do you think she’d stalk you?”.
“Not sure” William smoothed his hand over his beard. The last thing either of you need is to have your names splashed around the social media universe because of a drunken altercation with a girl in a parking lot, who had been recently fucked…and then slighted, by William Nylander.
You consider the options for another moment, and finally agree that it might be for the best to stay. The couch looks pretty comfortable so you offer to sleep in the living room.
William looks hurt. He wants you in his bed. The urge to wrap himself around you is almost too much for him to handle.
Given the circumstances however, he knows how self-serving it will seem asking you to sleep in the same bed as him. Despite you trying so hard to hide it, he knows you are hurt. He’s beginning to feel a sense of hopelessness from the damage that’s been done tonight.
He grabs some dog treats and tells you to just stay and try and relax while he heads out for a walk with the dogs. He wants to drop by the concierge desk and security just to make sure all is clear around the outside of the building before he ventures out with his boys.
After William and the dogs leave, you survey your surroundings and allow a release of the emotions that have been simmering just under the surface all day. Tears well in your eyes as you stare at the wine glass he filled for you earlier. You lower your head in your hands and weep quietly.
Moments pass and a blinding headache begins to form behind your eyes; the pressure making your eyelids feel heavily weighted. Between the wine and William’s unexpected visitors, the unmitigated happiness you felt only 30 minutes ago has completely evaporated. Like a magnet to steel, a force anchors you to the couch, and you can’t help but to lie your head down and close your eyes to try and get some relief. 
Exhaustion eventually takes hold of you, and you fall into a deep sleep within minutes of your head hitting the pillow.
William and the dogs return after spending longer than anticipated on their walk; the one night William really needs Pablo and Banksy to do their business quickly, it took them forever to get it done.
William enters the condo in a hurried pace, only to find you curled up on the couch asleep. His heart expands and breaks all at once as he approaches you, your figure gently rising and falling with each breath.
He considers waking you up to offer his bed anyway, wanting you to have a more comfortable place to sleep but he vetoes his own thoughts, given all that has transpired.
Instead, he grabs a blanket and gently lays it over you.
It feels strange for William to leave you in the living room by yourself. He watches you for another few moments, your face scarcely illuminated by the dim light from the kitchen that he's left on for you. Desire and disappointment grip his stomach as he turns to head to his bedroom.
The next morning , you awake to something cold and wet brushing up against your face. “Pablo….down, buddy” William chuckled.
Opening your eyes, you’re initially disoriented from waking from a deep sleep. You see Pablo sitting in front of you (you swear he’s smiling), waiting for some kind of acknowledgement.
A wide grin spans your face.
“Oh…sweet boy…thank you for the kisses” you softly say, encouraging Pablo to hop up onto the couch. Pablo gladly obliges and lies lengthwise on your torso. You murmur words of affection to Pablo’s face as you rub behind his ears and nuzzle him back with your nose.
Banksy comes bouncing across the room wanting to join in on the love fest.
You smile apologetically at William. “Sorry I passed out before you came back; I wasn’t able to keep my eyes open.”
“I’m glad you stayed…looked like you needed the rest.  The snoring though - you sounded like a freight train” William says with a smirk.
“I’ll take my snoring over you ripping farts all night” you jokingly retorted.
“Hey…I couldn’t help that…it was better out than in. I seem to remember you laughing until you almost wet yourself…you weren’t exactly complaining”, William laughs.
“You held me under the blankets…fucking Dutch Oven - and that wasn’t laughter, that was gasping”.
William starts laughing that trademark laugh.
You roll your eyes as you smile widely at him. “Yeah, keep laughing there, chuckles. Good times”.
Yeah...they were. So many good times together William thought.
You both take a lingering look at one another, and before he notices you blushing, you excuse yourself and head to the washroom.
Every thought in your mind concerning William has shifted. Last night, prior to Trina's arrival that is, you felt a closeness resurfacing with William. The calmness he always seemed to provide to you, just naturally with his presence, had begun to return.
But now, with this new day, there's just uncertainty and uneasiness that has settled in your gut. You realize now that you don't know him like you used to. Maybe it was a stretch to think that you ever did. After all, in the three years you were involved, you only managed to string together a month here, or two months there - and then you would have to leave. Only experiencing the best side of each other; it seemed true that no two people could be more entranced with one another than you and William when you were together.  But everything has changed since then and it’s doubtful that you want the same things from life.
Returning to the living area, William’s about ready to head out with the dogs. Both Pablo and Banksy run over to you, falling over each other for your attention as if you’ve been gone the whole day instead of just 5 minutes.
“I’m not sure if they love me as much as they seem to love you…I feel like a distant second to them now”.
“Awh - boys, you better go see your Dad…he’s feeling a little jealous” you say as you kiss and nuzzle the tops of their heads.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me for their walk but I think it’s pouring out there now. I might just take them to the rink and let them run around there, I guess.”
“I would have but one - it’ll kill me to walk in those things” you nod your head towards the stilettos. “And, two - I better head out…there’s a ton of things I have to get done before I leave. Otherwise, I would have loved to.”
You finished getting ready and within minutes, the 4 of you were descending in the elevator towards the main lobby. William offers to walk you out to the parking lot but you decline. Figuring his car is in the underground lot, there was no need for him to get him and the dogs soaked as the heavy December rain ensued.
“It was good to see you…memorable in the most legendary Nylander way” you say smiling.
Before he could respond, you crouch down to acknowledge the dogs, allowing them to put their front paws on your knees for more wet nose boops and kisses.
As you stood up, you could see his expression had changed. He didn’t look like his normal light hearted self. He looked weary. He looked like he had a million things to say but wasn’t able to utter a single word. Instead, he reached out and pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you in a firm embrace. You felt his breath on your neck as he lowered his head and rested it against yours.
You pull back slightly and give him a warm smile. “I know you’re travelling too pretty soon - wishing you great games and safe travels, ok?”
“Yeah, you too. Shit - we didn’t get to talk about Christmas - the family coming - or anything like that though…”
“I’m in contact with your parents about everything - someone is bound to fill you in but seriously, there’s nothing for you to worry about. As long as you show up sometime after you fly home from Columbus, you’re golden” you say with a grin.
This time, the silence between you weighed heavily in the air.
“Ok…you better get going there, superstar. Traffic’s going to be shit…I don’t want to hear Sid Seixeiro bitching about you being late on Breakfast Television again.”
William laughed out loud. “Yeah - got a lot of flak for that one…I didn’t know you knew about that”, William says as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck
“Well, it was pretty much splashed around everywhere at the time. I couldn’t avoid it”, you smirk.
You turn to look out at the steady stream of rain and sigh; half of you wants to go with him and the other half wants to get the hell out of there, downpour be damned.
“Ok then…I’m off. See you later, boys”, you grin at William and the dogs, turning to head across the lobby and out into the miserable and wet December morning.
William heads back into the elevator, hands jammed in his pockets, feeling uneasy about how everything with you was left up in the air.
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