#there are federal agents outside of my house

[sun-citadel]

Watching TFA, and this is incredibly relevant

#so YEAH i did this bc a feiend gave me the idea and then longarms and oh boy #shockwave my beloved #transformers animated #tfa #shockwave tfa #tfa shockwave #shockwave #tony stark meme #there are federal agents outside of my house #sketch #doodle

[disembodiedvoicecrossover]

inspired by something someone else did a few years ago

#art #kooky takes a shit(post) #meme redraw #there are federal agents outside my house #jackbox games #cookie masterson

[antimattter-eel]

I’m starting a something :)

#lookin like the ‘there are federal agents outside my house’ Robert downy jr meme #eel mattters #my art #art #character art #charcoal #hyena #brown hyena #hyena art

[gible-love-nibles]

What is it about A.ce A.ttorney and adjacent games and their detectives that make me feral

#🐉🎮.txt #logic and passion spectacular! 🔎🤎 #dance 'til you drop baby! 🕺🥼 #KINDA. I HAVEN'T FINISHED WATCHING THROUGH G.HOST T.RICK YET #i am very worried cabanela will not be as nice as he's been so far by the end. or at least as fun #but for now ha ha silly dancing guy :] i like him he's funny #and i know he's not a detective but. let me live #edit: *(there are federal agents outside my house meme)* she has no idea what this man will do to her brain

[yakketymax]

I recently bought a Doughnut OC from @popfizzles​ and by god I love this creature, they’re the cutest thing. Under the cut is the story I’ve whipped up for them so far!

#cookie run #cookie run oc #cookie run doughnut oc #cookie run ovenbreak #Synthwave Doughnut #not featured is the 'there are federal agents outside my house' meme i started and will finish tomorrow #my art #poor synthwave. burdened with capitalism #Two Moons

[thatoneguy1094]

Itsa masterpiece

#fnaf #fivenightsatfreddysfanart #glamrock freddy #montgomery gator #Roxanne wolf #vector #espio #charmie #there are federal agents outside my house

[dr-duppl]

😳

#there are federal agents outside my house #federal agents meme #Duppl Prime #Dr. Duppl #Duppl #Doctor Duppl #Dupplposting #art #artists on tumblr #meme #memes #silly #art meme #mad scientist #cartoon #cartoon pitch #thesis film #capstone #animation #animated #pilot #cartoon pilot #animated pilot #web series #newgrounds #OC #original character

[windy-wonko]

sigh. when are we gonna start brutally murdering politicians like they did in olden times

#ganon rambles #KILL KILL KILL #who wanna become a terrorist with me lol #tags that get federal agents outside my house

[lunozapp]

i realise that i have not posted my banner which is a drawing of tails doing the rdj meme that i drew so here take it

#there are federal agents outside my house #sonic the hedghog #sonic the hedgehog 2 #tails the fox #sonic #sonic 2 #sonic movie 2

[asexualjedi]

It came to me in a vision

#so like in the alt text I describe the image but should I include that it’s like the there are federal agents outside my house picture??? #there are federal agents outside my house

[archliches]

google is privatizing all of fucking google suite including drive fucking lmaoooo

#thinking thoughts that would spawn federal agents outside my house rn #i say stuff

[i-write-sometimes-maybe]

Careful- Emily Prentiss X GN Reader!

Synopsis: You get injured in the field, and Emily just wants you safe.

Warnings: Descriptions of wounds but not really, Emily just takes care of you. Mostly fluff, basically a Drabble. No gender specified.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: I wrote this just so you guys have something while I finish this forsaken Lesso OneShot, I'm sorry it's taken me forever to get anything out. I'm currently working two jobs and saving up for my own place so I'm a bit busy Imao.

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

Emily's gun had fired a loud shot, but it wasn't loud enough to cover the sound of your seared gasp.

Her one bullet had taken out the unsub, but not before he got a bullet of his own out. Only, his bullet traveled straight into your shoulder.

Her gun was still trained on his body, now being checked for a pulse by Hotch, but her eyes were trained on you.

You were clutching your shoulder, blood now oozing through your fingers, partly hunched over trying to calm your breathing.

You were used to the pain of bullets, it was nothing new to you, but that didn't make the pain any better.

"Y/n?!" Emily shouted, gaining the attention of the team.

"I'm okay! I'm okay! Let's just secure the scene and find the hostage." You stood straight once more, trying to go further into the house.

"Y/n, you've been hit! You need medical!" Morgan came up to your side.

"It's not the worst thing I've dealt with, let's go!" Everyone on the team has been shot at least a handful of times, and everyone has been abducted at least once, you can manage a shoulder hit.

"Y/l/n, wait outside for medics. That's an order." Hotch finally added.

An annoyed groan came from you but you still did as told from your superior.

You didn't wait but maybe ten minutes before two ambulances showed up, presumably one for you and one for the hostage.

Emily desperately wanted to be at your side while the ambulance took you to the hospital, but Hotch ordered her to go with the hostage to wait with her while her family arrived.

To her dismay, Emily didn't get to leave the hospital until you had already gotten a ride back to your shared townhouse.

She sped down the highway, going as fast as the car would let her. She was a federal agent, what would the state officer do even if they could pull her over?

You'd think you were barely clinging to life with the way she sped and swerved the lanes.

Truthfully, she was just concerned. She couldn't see you at the scene before you were hauled away, and then the family had to fly in from another state to see the victim. It was safe to say she was desperate to see you.

You were unsurprised to hear a car speed into the driveway. Your townhome wasn't the biggest, so you heard the tires screeching while you were in the bathroom, trying to pull off the bandage from the back of your shoulder.

Not even 10 seconds went by from the time she pulled up in the drive to the moment she was walking through the front door.

"Y/n?!" You sighed, knowing how this conversation would go. It goes the same every time one of you gets hurt.

"In here." You shouted from sitting on the vanity.

Again, not a moment passed before she was by your side.

Emily walked through the bathroom door to see you sitting on the bathroom counter, first aid supplies and wrappers all skewed around you, topless and trying to reach around to your back. To your credit, you had gotten the bandage mostly off, just some of the medical adhesive was out of your reach.

Emily could see the stitches on your shoulder, briefly looking into the mirror and seeing your exhaustion she also caught a glimpse of another bandage.

"A through and through?" Was all Emily asked, she's seen you in this situation far more times than she'd like to admit.

You merely nodded, giving into trying to take off the bloody bandage. Normally you would've left it alone, but you guessed a stitch ripped and it caused you to bleed through the bandage.

Emily wordlessly took over, you knew she would, and carefully pulled the rest of the bandage off. She paused a bit as she heard you let out a seared gasp.

"Sorry, you're good." You caught each others eyes in the mirror.

"That was stupid, Y/n," She spoke softly.

"Emily..." You groaned, you've been here before and you just wanted a clean wound so you can go to bed.

"Y/n, you knew the profile. And you still tried to reason with the guy!" Emily was annoyed but she wasn't truly surprised, you've always tried to be the voice of reason with anyone, and you've always been the one to try to keep the bullets from flying. The irony, right?

"I know, Emily! I was stupid and reckless, I've heard it before. And I'll hear it again tomorrow from Hotch when I have to write a report, just leave it. Please." This conversation was one you could recite from memory, hearing it a few times a year.

She sighed, "I know, look I'm sorry. I care about you, okay? I just want you to be more careful."

"I know you do Em, that's how I am with you too. And we both know that we both agree to be more careful until the next case comes along." Emily said nothing as she taped the clean piece of gauze onto your shoulder.

She tapped on your uninjured shoulder and you took your silent cue to turn around for her to replace the other gauze.

"You got lucky." Her tone was laced with concern and you could tell she tried to hide the little bit of impression in her face.

She was right, you managed to talk the doctors out of giving you a sling as long as you promised to take it easy. And as you said, you promise until the next case comes. Hopefully there'll be a week before the next case...

She started to say something else but you weren't paying attention to her words. You were paying attention to the way her brows furrowed with concentration as she avoided the wound while cleaning. You were focused on how she was delicate yet precise with her movements, probably from all the experience she's got.

Emily wanted to be upset with the fact that you weren't listening to her advice, but she really couldn't. It wasn't the fact that she's a broken record, telling you things you've heard hundreds of times, but the fact that you were so almost entranced by her.

Emily couldn't help but notice the look in your eye, it's the same one she has when she looks at you. How even though you were in pain, you were still mindful of her.

But that's the thing, pain or not, Emily was still the same sensitive person you fell in love with. She was your painkiller. Always there to make you feel better, regardless of the ailment.

"Thank you, Em." You said quietly as she finished up on the front piece of gauze, collecting and tossing the trash from her work and your attempt of bandaging.

"Always. I'll always be here for you." She said in the same softness you spoke in.

"You promise?" You looked her directly in those beautiful eyes.

She hesitated a bit, knowing of her past she can't guarantee anything, especially a long life with you, "I promise."

You simply smiled and rested your head on her chest. This move of yours filling her heart with the love she's always wanted, the love she never thought she deserved.

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Taglist: @just-your-casual-nerd @v3nusxsky @bigolgay @hxzxrdous @pebbleswritessometimes @sgelessoanddoveykissing @scream-queenlover @darkth1ngs, lmk if you wanna join my taglist!

#fanfic #oneshot #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss #x reader #gender neutral reader #aaron hotchner #derek morgan

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

There For You

Gibbs x Reader One Shot

Prompt: Reader is held captive for days before being rescued. Gibbs is left to help her through it. Mostly an angsty/fluff.

Warnings: Insinuations of kidnapping, torture, starvation.

The sound of heavy footsteps echoed throughout the dirty dark house, making your hair stand on end. You knew who was coming and needed to be ready if you wanted to escape. Your muscles were weak from the handcuffs chaining your legs to the old radiator and the ever lasting wooziness from the severe dehydration was almost enough to make you start hallucinating.

You weren’t sure how long you had been here, the curtains were always drawn and you never heard any outside noise but if you had to guess, you would’ve said at least 3 days.

If Gibbs and the team hadn’t found you by now, you sure they wouldn’t. So gripping the old wrench you found under the radiator tight in your hand, you laid limp on the floor as your captor descended the stairs.

“Guess what I have in store for you today?”

You heard him set something heavy down on a far table and walk over close. “Hey, wake up.”

A hard kick to your shoulder almost made you yelp out in pain but you kept your composure and stayed quiet and still. It wasn’t until he dropped a knee down and came down close that you sprung into action, swinging your arm out with as much power as you could muster and hit him in the head with the wrench. You were actually surprised when he immediately slumped to the floor unconscious.

Not wanting to waste any time, you searched his body and almost burst with joy when you found the handcuff keys in his pocket. Unlocking yourself, you tried standing but the exhaustion caught up to you causing you to collapse. You felt like every second you weren’t getting out of here was a second closer to him waking up and your ultimate demise.

With what you assumed was my body’s last attempt at an adrenaline rush, you staggered to stand and begin making your way out of the basement.

Your eyes were blinded by the amount of light that burst through once you opened the front door but didn’t hesitate and just started running. The house you were in seemed to be in some part of the countryside but you could make out a road in the distance so that was your destination.

It felt like hours before you finally reached the road, looking back every few seconds to see if you were being chased down but never saw anyone. It wasn’t until you practically caused an accident by running into the road that someone stopped in their car and came over to help.

“I need your phone please. I’m a federal agent.”

Thankfully, the passerby obliged and handed you their cellphone. Once you punched in the numbers and heard that familiar gruff voice on the other end, you collapsed onto the asphalt.

“Jethro. It’s me..I need help..”

His voice was far away and you realized you were fading in and out of consciousness. So before you could completely pass out, you handed the phone back to the driver.

“Tell him where we are.. And that I’m still in danger..”

Whatever the driver was saying to you went unheard as you relaxed into the ground, finally letting the overwhelming sense of sleep take over.

>>>>

Your eyes shot open, panic immediately shooting through your body. Looking around, you recognized your surroundings to be a hospital but no other clues as to what happened. Ripping the oxygen tube from your face, you very carefully removed the IV from your arm and attempted to get out of the bed. Unfortunately like last time, your body didn’t cooperate and you ended up falling into the curtains, bringing them down with you.

Once you felt arms grab you, you screamed and tried thrashing out of their grasp.

“Y/F/N! It’s me! You’re safe!”

The sound of Gibb’s voice gave you huge relief and stopped fighting. He easily pulled you to your feet as you clutched onto his suit jacket, now crying uncontrollably.

“Shhh. It’s alright, you’re safe now. I’ve got you,” he whispered while holding you tight.

“I can’t stay here Gibbs. I don’t feel safe here. Please-

“Don’t worry. I’ll get you out of here but you need to let them finish helping you first.”

“Don’t leave. Please don’t go,” you pleaded as he helped you back into the bed.

“I won’t. I’ll be right here.”

He wiped your tear streaked face and pushed the hair out of your eyes before calling for the doctor.

>>>>

Following up the steps to Gibb’s house, you pulled the jacket he let you borrow tighter to your body. Ever since leaving the hospital, it didn’t matter how many layers you had on, you couldn’t seem to stay warm. Gibbs opened the front door and let you walk in first, carrying your go bag and pharmacy meds.

“Take a seat on the couch, I’ll get a fire started,” he instructed while closing and actually locking the door. After your theatrics at the hospital, you couldn’t help but feel a little awkward towards Gibbs. You always felt like you two had a stronger connection than just boss and agent in the past but it never got talked about let alone acted on. And now you’re sitting on his couch, in his house, about to spend the night.

You silently watched as he crouched to put the fire together and turn the tv on to some old black and white tv show.

“You should eat something with these meds. I’ll make you something small.”

Once he was satisfied with the fire, he went into the kitchen and threw a small frozen tv dinner into the microwave. You weren’t really in the mood to eat anything but didn’t want to offend his hospitality.

He sorted out all of your pills you needed to take, some antibiotics, some supplements, and handed them to you with a large glass of water. You obediently drank them all down as he came over with the food and a beer for himself.

He set it down on the coffee table and took a seat next to you. Not close enough to be touching but close enough that you could smell his aftershave.

“Thank you.”

Those were the first words you spoke to him since the hospital.

“Welcome.”

You were both quiet as you slowly picked at your meal and he sipped his beer while watching the tv. After a few more bites, you were done and sat back into the couch, another shiver taking over.

Without a word, he grabbed a blanket from the nearby chair and wrapped it around your shoulders, making sure you were snug. The room was finally getting warmer and your eyes were getting droopier. At some point, your head had fallen against his shoulder but he didn’t make a move to push you off or reposition himself. You finally felt safe after days of fighting for your life and you had Gibbs to thank for that.

#leroy jethro gibbs #gibbs x reader #ncis #ncis fanfiction

[cmthingssss]

Fluffember - A. Hotchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GN!reader (I think)

A/N: This was supposed to be fluffy, I'm so sorry. Also, I'm doing kinkmas (no set list yet)!

CW: ANGSTY END, bar, drunkenness, bar fight, split lip, violence, bad writing, mentions of Haley Hotchner!!

WC: 500-ish

As a federal agent, there were plenty of things you weren’t supposed to do… getting into bar fights was one of them. In your defense, the guy needed to be taught a lesson. You won, but the bastard did get a good hit in and busted your lip, causing someone *cough cough Derek Morgan* to call Hotch to come pick you up because he didn’t come out that night. You weren’t aware that he was coming until he arrived to pick you up. 

“L/N. Let’s go.” Fucking Derek, of course he called Aaron. You gave him the middle finger while exiting the bar. “I’m going to take you home, but first we’re stopping at my place to bandage you up.” You reluctantly agreed, knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer. When you arrived at Aaron’s home, there were Christmas decorations strewn about with no real order. He looked embarrassed, so you pretended not to notice. At least his terrible decorating skills confirmed he was still single. No. You couldn’t think about him like that. He was your superior, your very hot, older superior who you were in love with, but that’s besides the point. 

He walked away and seconds later you heard his voice, in a softer tone than usual from down the hall. “Y/N/N, come here. I need to fix up your hands and that scar on your lip.” You followed his voice to the bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed. He put antibiotics on your hands and then wrapped them lightly. You couldn’t tell if he was staring at your lips deciding the best course of action or for another reason. No. He couldn’t be. Breaking you out of your thoughts, he placed a kiss on your lips, and you kissed him back. You both tried to speak at the same time, but the words got jumbled. Insisting he go first, he admitted he loved you and you bursted into a fit of giggles before admitting you loved him too. 

After getting bandaged up, you felt slightly better. “Aar, would you like help with the jumbled mess of decor you have outside?” His cheeks twinged pink, before he welcomed your help. Hotch sat on the couch while you moved smoothly around the house, making it look like Better Homes and Gardens threw up in there. When you finished, you hit him with a “What do you think?” He looked at you with admiration in his eyes and said “Haley loved Christmas.” You had to resist the strongest urge to roll your eyes, because fuck Haley, she’s dead, but whatever. With the reminder of his ex-wife, you felt you overstayed your welcome. “I’m gonna get going.” Desperation flashed across his face and mangled his features. “No, please stay.” A few seconds of silence pass. “I mean, you don’t have to, I just don’t want you to have to get an Uber this late. It’s unsafe, you know.” Aaron wanted to slap himself for sounding like an idiot, even more so after the statement he made trying to cover his ass. “I think it’s best for me to go. Goodbye Hotch.” You started tearing up on your way out the door, but were determined to get the statement out non-shakily (you failed). You were never going to remotely hold a candle to Haley in his mind, and you couldn’t bear to be with him if he was constantly thinking about another woman. He didn’t love you after all.

Prompt Bingo from: @fuckyeah-hetalia

#aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x gn!reader

[qsmp-lore-dump]

Have we finally found who is using the black shulkers????

An abandoned Fed lab of experiments:

Many books written by "E". Up until now i could only think of ElQ, which never felt right, but was really all i had to go on. But now... NOW we have Elena.

Elena says that she knows the experiements the Fed does are unethical but says they are justified by a "greater good". So... is the abandoned Fed base where she first worked? are these her notes before it was shut down? its possible.

The black shulkers have left me so god damn confused for ages. and for the purpose of this starter theory, i think i need to lump in the regular chests that are found with cellbit through out his missions using black shulkers as well. (or we can go down further side theories of other parties intercepting his missions, which... another time..) theres going to be some loose parts here, just stick with me and well say hopefully the unanswered parts line up in the future. Day 106:

after the final election debate when cellbit takes himself out of the running, he finds book in a regular chest outside of his house.

NOTE: "us" . this is why i thought it had to be the rebels for so long. but the Rebels use black chest, which cellbit never got during this time. the Rebels on-going report of cellbit state they hadnt contacted him until just before purgatory. this was not from them.

Day 107/108

a chest apears in the Fear room, taking him to the ship the Brazilians arrived on.

Now, the color of this shulker is very much in question. i could not see it pop up in cellbits WAILA. there is a day Forever find it later on but i have not found that vod again to see if it shows the color.

this puzzle deciphers to follow the blue bird blah blah or lose your sone forever. we all know this stuff. then, day 109, The Jaidens. we know all of this. Jaiden is sent by Cucu to deliver the items. Cellbit is sent to follow behind and collect all the evidence.

so why send cellbit to collect this evidence? was the purpose for him to read it? to learn something? im not exactly sure yet.

Day 128: here is where it confirms for me that the black shulkers and these normal chest ARE the same person(s)

The use of "interesting performance" is a clear call back to day 106. And "common enemy", we can look to my old "Cucu secretly wants to escape the fed", and now update that to ELENA instead. anyway, this long trail ends in finding the code sword and as we know, "no trrace left behind" ultimately rewards Cellbit with a home office presented by Cucurucho!

Delivers the evidence to a chest on black wool or concrete, not sure. and then the coordinated for his home office appear. ... plan all along, intercepted, or... one of my theories of cucu wants to escape the fed, a double agent Rebel cucu, a code cucu. anyway, getting distacted here.

But now, Baghera. Baghera is where it seems strongest that Elena is tied to these black shulkers, which makes stronger the questions on what her purpose is with cellbit. ...

Day 165: Bagz finds a black shulker along with a flower that leads her to her childhood room on the island. flowers on shelves, just like Elena.... Elena who knows all about the unethical experiments done by the federation. like human hybrids....

Day 199: baghera arrives at coordinates for BioLab 3 (led here by info in her childhood room). She finds reports on hybrid experiments, herself specifically, and reports written in french.

i thought these were written by kameto, because we had learned he was a french translator for the fed. but do you know who else is french, Elena.

Day (???) spefic date unclear, but the day christmas decorations began, Streamed on Day261

Elena has a warp for biolab 3. huh. interesting. So, Elena feels guilt about the experiments she been part of but see that the means justify the end. Did she feel Bagz deserved to know the truth about her past? Is that why she was sent to discover these things? We know it wasnt the rebels, Bagz's on-going report in crabro mention no knowledge of the hybrid experiments. They are not the ones who sent Bagz to recover her memories, the way they sent Bagi to recover her memories.

And if the rebels are recovering Bagis memories..... why are they not the ones doing the same for Cellbit? Does this mean Cellbit also is a Federation test tube baby -- this would mean bagi is too then?? And does that mean Follow the Blue Bird, and the long mission ending with the Code Sword are related to HIS past?

~~Happy Loring~~

#qsmp thoughts #qsmp theory #qsmp cellbit #qsmp baghera #qsmp bagi #qsmp resistance #qsmp rebels #qsmp federation #qsmp cucurucho #qsmp elena #qsmp osito bimbo #qsmp lore #qsmpblr

[dyns33]

Fight Club part 2

Part 2 of my little Tyler Durder x Reader

Because of Project Mayhem, people tend to believe that Tyler Durden likes chaos. That he is the embodiment of chaos.

He likes to see others lost, but he is never lost himself. He is completely in control. He knows what's going to happen, because that's what he decided. An agent of chaos, following a straight line. No one seemed to have understood this.

So I was the only person in the world fully aware that if Tyler Durden was in prison, it was his choice.

It's a mistake to think that cutting off the head of the Mayhem project would stop everything. Even though he is the creator, Tyler did everything to keep his beast running without him. A brainless creature, space monkeys, who know perfectly well what their master wants without him needing to speak.

Plus, Tyler won't have his head cut off. His monkeys are everywhere, in the police, among the juries, behind the walls of his prison. He is surrounded by his followers, who ensure his safety.

If he wants, he can go out. It is obvious that he sometimes goes out, for a few hours, a few days, without the authorities being alarmed.

I know this because I know Tyler very well. Without knowing why or how after all this time, I know him. I hear him in my head sometimes. I feel his breath on the back of my neck, a presence as reassuring as it is frightening.

I know him, so I am always careful even if he is in prison, even if he is far away, even if it has been almost a year.

He haunts my thoughts. My nights. I can still see us on that beach, on the plane, in the house. I miss him, and that's what scares me the most. I have to be wary of everything, and myself first.

Jack is still outside, faithful doggie, psycho boy, who probably gives the orders when the leader sleeps in his cell. I don't think they're looking for me. I am dead and buried. But all it takes is one mistake for everything to change.

That's life. People. I'm not perfect. The mistake came one day. It all started with a heart attack on a bus.

Nothing weird, I wasn't even on the bus. Like every day at the same time, I had my coffee on a terrace, my only little moment of relaxation.

The bus passed the café. I didn't even see it anymore. I didn't see the man fall, nor the people around him become alarmed. It didn't matter to me in the slightest.

That was bad news for a federal agent, because the man who had just died was a well known space monkey. Big Bob. Kind Bob, a bit stupid, who continued to obey by traveling all over the country spreading the word of Tyler Durden.

He had seen me. This came as a shock to him, since he was the one who found my body.

It could have ended there, but one of the feds were obsessed with Tyler. With his organization. He wondered if Bob had been murdered, so he went his way, he took the bus, and he saw me too.

We had never met, but when he approached, I knew immediately why he was there.

“Everyone thinks you’re dead.” he said to me as he sat down. Everyone was Tyler.

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

He took out a Polaroid photo. Tyler loved Polaroids. He had quite a collection. I know because Marla talked about it sometimes, to annoy Jack. Intimate photos, all the people he had fucked with, in erotic positions, during the act.

We had never fucked. We barely shook hands, and even though I knew what he wanted, there had always been a distance between us. The walls and the ceiling.

I didn't know Tyler took a picture of me while I was sleeping. He had written down my name on it. I wondered if Marla or anyone else had seen it before the police. I wondered how I felt, knowing that he had taken this photo, and the meaning it had.

"He doesn't talk much. He doesn't like me to show him this photo, but he told me it was his heart, and that it was buried under the house. We found a body. You have an explanation ?"

I had tons of explanations, but I didn't want to share them with the agent. Tyler wouldn't have liked it, and I didn't like it either.

“Tell me about him.” he insisted.

"No."

“You know what he’s up to.”

“As much as you.”

“Give me something, or I’ll arrest you for obstruction of justice.”

"I don't know anything. We met on a beach, he put me up for a while, then I left. Don't tell him you saw me. It won't do you any good."

My mistake was not to believe that the agent would be intelligent enough to listen to my request. He listened. He didn't tell Tyler that I was alive.

No, my mistake was harder to see, seeming insignificant for several days, until I woke up in the middle of the night.

Even if he didn't tell him I was alive, the agent would still tell Tyler about me, hoping to get a reaction. He already knew from the picture that I was special, a point that needed to be pressed, and he wasn't going to stop.

So he was going to talk about our meeting. He was going to talk about the beach.

No one knew about the beach, except Tyler and me.

Since Tyler never told anyone, he would know everything without the agent needing to speak.

There was a bit of panic when the newspapers announced the escape of the leader of Project Mayhem. Speculation regarding his intentions was endless, ranging from bateriological terrorism, to bombing buildings, to assassinating the president.

Only I really knew why he was out there after all this time.

Contrary to what others think, he never wanted to take control or destroy the world. That wasn't the goal of Project Mayhem. Tyler had a vision on a human scale. He only likes to play, among other things.

If I dreamed of him, he dreamed of me. The difference was that while I was running as far away from his cell as possible, he had no reason to leave since he thought he knew where to find me. He still had his picture, and his memories.

Bob really had a talent for breaking things.

I could have continued to flee. It would have been less easy now that the agents of Chaos knew I was alive, but I could have tried. Like a new game. But I didn't like Tyler's games.

I decided to wait for him in my apartment. It was his move. It was always his move.

When he knocked on my door, he thought about bringing beers and pizza. He did this with Jack at home sometimes, at first. When there was still just the club.

He didn't say anything when he saw me, as if he always knew he would see me again one day. Maybe he knew.

Dinner passed in silence, facing each other, waiting. It was his move. I won't start. He seemed to understand it. He decided to make an effort.

“You remember the beach.” It was not a question.

“A guy building a giant hand, you don’t see that every day.”

"I guess not. You broke my heart. But I forgive you. I didn't think you remembered."

“We wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t remembered that.”

"Maybe not."

“I’ve always wanted to ask you, why this hand ?”

"I wanted to talk to God. Since he didn't answer, I decided to steal his hand. When I was finished, I looked at what it was pointing at and I saw you, looking back at me. Then I knew it was you."

"What me ?"

"It was you." he only repeated, as if I should understand what he meant, and the worst thing was that I understood perfectly what he meant.

Silence returned, as I finished my beer. All this was far too intimate, more intimate than his photos. More domestic. Something was seriously wrong with Tyler Durden.

I didn't know if I should talk about all the other things I knew. That would have made the situation even worse.

“I don’t like chaos.” was the only thing I could say.

"No one likes that, you'd have to be a moron. You never like what's necessary."

“Nothing is necessary.”

"I love you."

I vividly remembered Jack and Marla, two idiots who danced and screamed, unable to clearly admit how they felt and preferring to trample romance with cigarettes and condoms.

I had often judged Jack because of this. Not anymore. I wanted to slap my face with my hands and disappear, as Tyler started to smile.

Since I didn't need to say what I already knew, he didn't need to say what I already knew. I knew it from the plane. Since his invitation. From his bed above mine. Ever since he took a picture of me sleeping.

He didn't need to say it. We weren't talking about that. It was a new rule. Unfair.

“This can’t end well.”

"As always. Like everything. Endings are never good, that's the tragic thing. And yet, life goes on."

"I wanted to talk to you on this beach. It would have been different if I had."

"We would have fucked like dogs in your hotel room, I would have beaten up your asshole boss sooner, and the world would have burned down on its own. I'm glad you didn't talk to me."

I had sometimes dreamed of another path. I was stupid enough to have hope. Tyler was destroying hope, that was his reason for being, providing total freedom.

I wasn't sure what I was. I still am not today. His heart, maybe. His poor heart.

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