#there you are david you rat fuck

[remyfire]

Please enjoy this accidental cap

#i love your fucking face david thank you for blessing us so thoroughly #hawkeye pierce #charles emerson winchester iii #charles winchester #bj hunnicutt #swamp rats #m*a*s*h #mashblogging #mashposting #major ego #s7e9

[shernb0t]

animorphs if it took place in 2019

#animorphs #david animorphs #hes fucked in the head though #do you think if he was told hes gay he would've stopped #(he wouldn't probably) #i dont. actually read the books sorry I think ts rlly interesting though but im too broke to buy them.. #also david haves the funniest conclusion bro turns into a rat n gets thrown 2 the ocean for his crimes

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

once upon a time is fun because all these ancient fairytales literally happened 30 years ago. snow white? yeah she was doing all that about 30 years ago. hercules? fought cerberus around 1970. king arthur pulled excalibur from the stone AFTER the release of disney’s the sword in the stone. mulan saved china (china? magic china? unclear actually) about 35 years ago. and it slaps and makes total sense don’t even worry about it

#this is NOT one of those insanely irritating ‘omg ouat made NO sense’ posts. it does make sense. i’m saying it’s funny #it makes sense because it’s about the fucking. metanarrative you cunts. #beth.txt #i can’t wait for tee to see them do frozen it’s so funny it’s so ridiculous. david was bffs with kristoff for some reason. #how did they even meet? it doesn’t even matter! because you learn that information and then immediately presented with evil little bo peep #and then rumplestiltskin (btw tee idk if you’re aware but you are in fact spelling his name wrong <3 it doesn’t matter tho keep doing what #you’re doing) he gets anna to turn the sorcerer’s apprentice (NOT dave) into a RAT for no reason… and that’s the plot of a whole episode #and then there’s LILY. you’re gonna go crazy for lily… i LOVED lily when season four was airing #unfortunately they do forget about her immediately after the season ends and she is not so much as mentioned until the SERIES FINALE #but like it’s fine because immediately after season four you get to go to camelot and meet all those cunts #especially nimue who literally slays so hard…. the og girlboss of the enchanted forest fr #and then of course emma and killian do orpheus and eurydice and it slays #and then season six comes and you get to meet my buddy gideon!!!!! #and if you don’t like gideon i will probably have to disown you but don’t worry about it you’ll like him <3 #anyway. what was the point of this post. #oh yeah i just love how hercules was a teenager at the same time as snow white and it was like during the 1970s. camp! #🍎

[fuck-edfrugs]

FUCK YOU DAVID YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE

#tlou series #tlou #tlou david #tlou ep 8 #I WANT TO MELT HIS SKIN OFF WITH ACID #I WANT TO LET HIM BE EATEN ALIVE BY BUGS AND RATS AND FISH #FUCK YOU DAVID #FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

[hoffmans-hoffman]

David headed towards Herbert's cell, how funny it was to him, he was free and never suspected to be the third accomplice. He was uncaged but the smartest man he ever met was behind bars. He stopped a few feet from Herbert's cell and started giggling a little, think him mad but this was hilarious to him. A simple priest, haha yeah never guess a priest to help Herbert. "Oh Father David" "Yes my son" He finished his walk to Herbert's cell "I was told you needed to see me" David's smile disappears as the hair on the back of his neck started to stand up "Need not to be so...untrue...no one is around and they can't record our conversations...not film them due to your holiness" Herbert grins looking David up and down "Any word on Lonnie?" Herbert asks, adjusting his glasses "None...they know there were three people helping you, Dan is" "Institutionalized" Herbert cut David off "Lonnie is MIA, but it seems he's got some technical skills because there are no files of Lonnie Edward Titus anywhere" David opens his Bible "You still believe in that?" "Herbert, I have no idea what to believe in anymore" David exhales sharply he was calmer now then when they started this conversation "Believe that we brought people who were deceased back to life" "I killed people for your experiment" David groans softly as he lowers his head "...David..." Herbert says in a tone that always meant praise was coming to David "I'm still very proud of you, avoiding capture, helping me even though you had a good chance to be killed..." Herbert reaches his hand through the bars and uses it to make David look at him "You've done well, you and Lonnie were always going to see it to the bitter end with me...leaps and bounds over Dan...." Herbert's grin shifted to a soft smile "Yeah? I'm doing good?" "Always" Herbert chuckles softly rubbing his thumb against David's cheek . David stood up straight inhaling sharply "Someone is coming" "And that's one more amazing thing about you, treat that new doctor well...we can use him" Herbert warns as David nods heading away from the cell but was quickly grabbed by his wrist so he looks back "Be careful" Herbert had never said that to him, sure Lonnie and Dan but him no not ever because Herbert knew how careful David was in the first place. "Yes" and with that Herbert let go and David continued down the hall, he had to meet this new doctor...this Howard Phillips.

#David St James #herbert west #ot3: he's dead but he'll be alive in a second #<- not making a new ship tag bc they see Dan's ghost the difference being David accepts Dan is and Herbert doesn't #drabble #little did you know the ending of BEYOND RE ANIMATOR Lonnie is waiting for Herbert #so technically two accomplices didnt get caught but no record of a Lonnie Edward Titus was found #tw religious mention #Herbert: you are doing great David and your the best #herbert to Lonnie: FUCKING RAT

[lakesbian]

genuinely obsessed w/ taylor hebert. like. Incredible character design. despite it all, worm is still The Best Superpowered Media. the way the bug powers are entirely integral to her identity the way she is Literally a bug girl the way she’s always putting the para in parahuman. obsessed w/ the fact that she’s a crawling worm you can’t root out and a biting swarm that blots out the sun and a cockroach that loses its head and keeps fucking going. obsessed with the bit during gold morning where she’s floating dead in the water and then lab rat’s tech lets her grow literal bug legs & mandibles so she can skitter back up the oil rig and think about how much she wants to hurt an entity which can snuff billions of people like ants beneath its heel. character who is a bug both in the sense that she’s infinitesimally small and that it is impossible to really get rid of her. you can shoot her and leave her in a burning building for dead, you can snap her spine, you can blind her, you can tear her intestines out, and she still just Keeps Fucking Crawling so she can reach your mouth and suffocate you. literally the most david vs goliath character of all time except it’s cockroach vs goliath. you can nuke the planet and she’ll hide in the nooks and crannies of the barren wasteland promising that she’s going to get back at you for what you’ve done, and she always makes good on that promise. she’s the queen of the hive she’s the monarch she’s the administrator she’s The Worm That Turns she is THEE top weirdgirl character Ever

#worm #wildbow said. what if i themed her after Bugs. and then proceeded to make that theming fuck harder thane ver thought possible before

[ginkgo-phyta]

The Aftermath - Tantalizing Pt.2 / Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Words: ~3k

Tags/Warnings: AFAB fem reader in mind (one mention of breasts, dress, and longish hair), no warnings, really, maybe mention of rodents? this is a bit more on the fluffy side and my attempt at being funny and lighthearted bahaha, pt2 to a smut but there's nothing smutty here! other BAU members present (Emily, Hotch, Derek)

Summary: You and Spencer have been hiding your relationship from the team, but during a particularly steamy late-night rendezvous in Spencer's hotel room (specifically, on the desk), the two of you get interrupted by a knock at the door. For the sake of saving face, your relationship, and your dignity, the two of you must try to act like nothing indecent was ever going on. Even if that means coming up with a ridiculous story. Will it work?

Author's Note: Part two of Tantalizing, which is a small smut fic, but this can really be read as a standalone! If you haven't read it yet, though, I would love it if you did! :D

Silence flooded the room for a good thirty seconds while you and Spencer just stared at each other, wide eyed and horrified. 

Boom, boom, boom.

Another bout of heavy, rhythmic knocks caused you to jump in your skin again. 

“Spencer,” Rossi’s muffled voice oozed through the wood, concerned and hesitant, “are you okay??”

“Shit, shit, shit.” Spencer was losing his mind. He took his hand off your mouth, giving you a pointed look that screamed shut up as he moved away from you to begin fixing his clothes. “This cannot be happening…” he mumbled to himself, frantically trying to smooth down his hair, “What the hell do we do?” he directed towards you, his usual sweet timbre dripping with fear-laced desperation. He turned his attention back to his clothing while you scooped your bra back over your breasts.

You had slowly slid off the desk, wincing as it creaked ever so slightly, and started buttoning up your dress when an idea popped up into your head. “Follow my lead!” you whisper-shouted to the panicked doctor. Spencer whipped his head up to look at you in exaggerated incredulity, hands leaving their task of tucking his shirt into his pants to hysterically wave around at you.

“No, no! Don’t say anything-” he quietly pleaded, trying to quell whatever stupid idea you had. He bounded towards you hand extending to slap over your mouth again, but you grabbed his wrist just in time. 

“There’s a rat!!” you shouted towards the door.

Spencer threw his hands up and turned away from you, hitting them lightly down onto his thighs as he grumbled, “Unbelievable…” There’s a fucking rat?? 

A moment of silence settled the air while Spencer stood still, anticipating what Rossi could possibly respond with. He watched you straighten your dress skirt and deftly finger comb your hair into a low ponytail. 

Rossi finally called out your name, even more confused, “Is that you? I-” you could envision the older man glancing around the hallway with a stumped expression as he took in a breath, “What..What the hell is happening in there?”

You unintelligibly mouthed something to Spencer, urging him to back you up as you tiptoed around to the other side of the bed. 

“A-a rat, Rossi! There’s a rat in the room!” 

You mentally face-palmed as you lugged open the lone window in the room. Spencer didn’t sound nearly as convincing as you did. Clearly, you would have to be the one to sell this. You mustered up your most frightened voice, “It’s so big, I don’t know where it went!” Spencer rolled his eyes at the sight of you fruitlessly trying to wave the smell of sex out of the room with your hands. 

“This is so crazy,” he quietly yelled at you, “you should’ve kept your mouth shut!” 

“Oh yeah?” you challenged him with a raised brow, “And how would you have explained all the noises we were making, Dr. Reid?” That shut him up. Spencer wished the walls would just consume him.

“A rat???” David sounded even more confused. He called both of your names this time, “Just open the door, I’ll deal with it.” you couldn't tell if he was buying the excuse. 

“No!” Spencer yelled out a little too quickly. You made up for it,

“If we get down it’ll attack us again!” you started to climb up onto the bed, attempting to pull Spencer up by the arm to join you.

‘Again’, huh? Good addition. Spencer thought. Frustration slowly melted off his shoulders, amusement creeping into its place with every tug on his arm. This was absolutely ridiculous. Like, comically unreal. He felt like he just got transported into an early noughties romcom. With a shake of his head and light chuckle, Spencer clambered up onto the bed. He could hear Rossi mumbling from the other side of the door, whether to himself or to someone else was yet to be confirmed. 

“Why are we up here?” Spencer whispered through a smile, holding onto your arms to steady himself. It felt wrong to be on the bed with his shoes still on. 

“What, you’ve never heard of method acting?” it was clear you were trying to hold back laughter, voice breaking at the end of your question. You held Spencer’s shoulders and closed your eyes, lightly clearing your throat as you tried to center yourself. Spencer watched on in confusion. Suddenly, your eyelids flew open, serious gaze boring into Spencer’s amused one. “Spencer. We have to do this, you hear me? We have to convince Rossi there was no hanky-panky-ing happening in this room, alright?” 

Spencer started to laugh before you roughly sandwiched his face between your palms. “Hey!” you hissed, “I mean it!” 

Wow, you were being way more serious than he honestly expected. Well, as serious as someone who just uttered "hanky-panky-ing" can be. As your hands slid down to grip the lapels of his blazer, Spencer gave you a firm nod before mimicking your actions. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and reached into the corners of his psyche to find his innermost theater kid. He was going to do this wholeheartedly. Doctor Spencer Reid was going to act like his career depended on it…Hopefully.

The sound of shuffling and added voices outside the door caused your nerves to multiply. Your palms became slick with cold sweat, heart beat increased, breathing quickened ever-so-slightly. Your audience was growing. It was time to perform. 

“Y'all got a rat problem?” a new voice rang out, and you knew right away is was Derek fucking Morgan. You could tell he was trying not to laugh. 

Great, you thought, this just got harder. 

Before either of you could even respond, another voice spoke, “And you're stuck on- what- the bed?” Emily. And she was not holding back her delight. 

“Oh God,” Spencer muttered under his breath, “this better work.” 

“Just commit and it will!” you quickly spat out through gritted teeth before turning back to the task at hand. “Yes, a rat!! Guys, please help- OH MY GOD THERE IT IS!” you made sure to screech like a schoolgirl at the end. 

Spencer almost blurted out laughing at the sight of you jumping around the bed and clinging onto him with eyes screwed shut as if you actually saw the imagined rodent. You were even pointing into the abyss. The thumps of your solid fist hitting his back reminded him to pitch in and he let out a few yelps and yells as well, trying hard to quell his smile. Clearly his inner theater kid was not that experienced- and not nearly as talented as you. 

Immediately the sound of Derek and Emily’s boisterous cackles seeped through the cracks around the door. Half a pitch higher, and you were convinced the tune could shake the wood right off the hinges. 

It was obvious another idea popped into your head and before Spencer could ask what you were doing, you laid over the edge of the mattress, bending to reach under the bed for something. The entire time, you kept up your screams and random yells, throwing in an expletive here and there and kicking against the bed for good measure. Spencer dubiously stared at you, but the expression on your face ushered him to copy you and keep up the chaos as you pulled an ironing board out from the depths of the hidden space. 

What the hell? How did you even know that was down there? Spencer tried to help you lug the board up onto the bed with you, but he had to bob and weave out of the way to keep from getting smacked upside the head with it. 

“Guys, just-” Rossi tried to speak but a shrill command cut him off.

“Spencer!” you suddenly shouted. “Get it, it’s behind the desk again! Right there!” with that you shoved the ironing board into Spencer’s arms. The sudden push had the doctor stumbling back into the headboard but before he could even process what was happening, you guided him to hit the board against the desk you were fooling around on just minutes ago. 

Ohhh, I guess that makes sense. The thought flashed through Spencer’s mind as he realized you were trying to mimic the thumping sounds your earlier debauchery had created. 

You could faintly hear Prentiss and Morgan slapping each other's arms through their heightened hooting and Rossi trying to get them to shut up enough to get a word out. 

“Ok-Okay, kids! Hotch is getting someone to open the door!” He spoke to you. The older man was clearly choking back a laugh of his own, “Don’t worry, just calm down- Get it together!” He had obviously directed his attention to the agents beside him at the end. The sounds of amusement abruptly ended, but you could perfectly envision Emily and Morgan biting their fists to stop their cackles, shoulders shaking merrily in mirth. 

“Please, hurry!” Spencer yelled out, relenting his motions and settling one end of the board down on the floor. He leaned against it, breathing deeply for a second as his own shoulders shook in a contained chuckle. His arms burned from flailing around such a heavy object, beads of sweat began to line the back of his neck, but he had to admit he was actually having fun. He looked down at you sitting at his feet, also silently laughing. You had your legs tucked under you and your body hunched forward just a bit, face held in your hands. If he hadn’t known better, Spencer would have almost thought you were crying. 

You drag your hands down your face and look up at your lover, “I hope to God this works.”

Spencer’s smile grows and just as he’s about to reach down and smooth over your hair the sound of the electronic key fob being activated sucks in your attention. Immediately, you cling to Spencer’s leg and he grabs a hold of the ironing board again, positioning it to look like he’s ready to pounce. It took every ounce of both of your will powers to put on believably terrified faces. 

Derek and Emily basically pushed Hotch and Rossi into the room and the sight in front of them has them struggling to stifle their laughs again. One of Emily's hands immediately flies to latch onto Derek’s shoulder while the other covers her mouth, Morgan’s jaw slacks open. Both of them wished they had brought their phones with them to eternalize this moment with a picture. If painted, the scene before them could easily be mistaken for a Renaissance piece. Your face bore an expression of trepidation neither of the agents had ever seen before. Your hands tightly fisted the leg of Spencer’s pants and you seemed to cower behind him. Spencer was the highlight of the evening; stance wide and strong on the wobbly mattress, messy hair stretching in every direction, clothes slightly awry, and grasp on the absurd ironing board firm as he wielded it like Excalibur.   

“Oh my God,” Emily whispers with a little giggle. Her eyes meet Derek’s as he scoffs in disbelief and they share the same thought, “What in the world are they doing?”

Rossi and Hotch remain stoic and concerned as they look all around the room; up, down, side to side. Though, a little smile plays at the corners of the former’s lips. 

“Where’s the rat?” Hotch asks plainly while Rossi turns his head back to share a glace with the other team members.

Without missing a beat, as if your brain cells telepathically communicated with one another, both you and Spencer point towards the open window behind you, “It ran out!” 

“What? It’s gone?” Rossi spoke up, walking around the bed to peer out the screenless window. 

“It just left?” Hotch added hesitantly with an arch of his brow, hands sliding into his pockets. 

“Well, more like Spencer hit it out,” You quickly piped up, scrambling off the bed and helping Spencer do the same, “with this.” you motioned to the ironing board before clumsily sliding it back under the bed, trying your best to sound confident. “Right before you guys opened the door.” The two of you looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

“I can’t believe this,” Emily’s seal broke and she began to laugh, causing Derek to do the same, “you guys were making all that ruckus over a stupid rat?”

“Me either,” Derek swiped a hand over his head, smiling widely, “I mean, you seriously hit a rat out the window? Looks like we gotta get you on the bureau softball team, pretty boy.”

You looked at Emily wide-eyed in disbelief, shouting, “It was a big rat!” 

At the same time Spencer grumbled out, “It was just luck,” while he slumped down onto the bed. You remained standing.

“Ahem,” someone clears their throat, conjuring everyone’s attention to them. It was the front desk employee standing in the doorway, “Um, is everything okay?” they stepped further into the room, squeezing between Morgan and Prentiss. You could see a security guard lingering nearby in the hallway. 

Shit. Hotel staff and security are getting involved now…

“You mean, besides the fact this place has a rat infestation?” Emily mumbled under her breath, garnering a low-five from Derek. 

“Yes, everything’s fine now!” Spencer tries to diffuse the situation, noticing everything was becoming a bigger ordeal than necessary. “And there’s no infestation, I’m pretty sure it came from outside.” 

“Good save, Dr. Reid.” you thought to yourself with a bit of your lower lip. You made sure to maintain a naive facade, though. 

The employee wrung their hands together, “Right. Well, just as we instructed during check-in, please refrain from opening your window for the rest of your stay.” 

“Ooh, naughty boy.” Prentiss jokingly chided at Spencer.

Oopsies…You forgot they told you not to open the window in this room specifically. 

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you apologize profusely, “it was me. I totally forgot. We’ll make sure to keep it closed now!” The receptionist simply offered you a tight-lipped nod in response before turning to leave, taking the security guard with them.  

“Well, looks like we probably won’t be welcomed back here.” Hotch quipped causing everyone to chuckle. He looked over the room once more before motioning to all the files scattered around the floor, “Clean this up and go to bed- in your own rooms.” he added quickly. “We’ve got an early morning, remember?” 

You and Spencer nodded quickly and watched as your boss walked off. David ensure the window was tightly shut before coming back around to take Aaron’s previous spot, “What were you guys even doing this late?”

With a scratch to the back of his neck, Spencer jerked his chin towards the few papers left on the desk, “We were working on the coded messages the unsub left.” It wasn't entirely a lie.

“It got stuffy so I opened the window,” you added, rubbing your suddenly tired eyes, “...then that monster came flying in.” 

You rolled your eyes at Emily and Derek simultaneously snorting.

Rossi just nodded for a second, processing the information before speaking, “It didn’t bite you guys, did it?” 

“No, but I swear it crawled over my arms.” You feigned a shiver, crossing your arms and rubbing your hands against them as you plopped onto the edge of the bed next to Spencer.

Rossi winced at the image, throwing his hands up with a, “Alright, buona notte!” while leaving the room. 

That left the four of you- Emily and Derek sauntered up to the two of you with the most shit-eating-est grins you had ever seen in your life.

Prentiss spoke first, hands glued mockingly to her hips, “You guys woke up the whole floor, you know that? I mean, if it was just a little rat, you couldn't have just left the room?” you narrow your eyes at the bout of laughter that rolled out of her frame. “Plus,” she kissed her teeth, “now the staff are pissed off. They’re probably gonna kick us out.”

“I’m glad you find my genuine terror sooo amusing, Emily.” You glared up at her, “Like I already said; it was huge and it literally touched me! If you guys aren’t gonna help clean up,” you gave Derek a pointed look, “then please leave.” You childishly straightened your back and tilted your chin up to appear more formidable. 

Emily chuckled and shook her head, “Nuh-uh. Your mess, your cleanup!” and with that she followed her supervisors and took her leave. 

Morgan remained standing in front of both of you, his deep brown eyes glinting in the soft white light emanating from the hotel sconces. A beat passed as he looked between you and Spencer with a smirk.

“Rat, huh?” he reached down and ruffled Spencer’s hair before giving you a quick wink and turning to leave, closing the room door behind him. 

And then there were two.

With deep sighs, both you and Spencer let your bodies go limp, dramatically dropping back into the mattress with little bounces, laying shoulder to shoulder. You stare up at the popcorn ceiling for a minute in silence before you feel Spencer gently grab a hold of your hand.

“D’ya think they bought it?” 

You turn your head to meet his gaze, “...Not at all.” 

Instantaneously, you both break out into melodious and boisterous laughter. The ludicrousness of the entire situation settled in and although you were exhausted you couldn't stop laughing until your sides split and oxygen became hard to acquire. Although the night was mortifying, there is always a silver lining. It was the most incredibly amusing, lively, and joyful time you’ve had in quite a while. And at least JJ and Penelope weren’t witnesses to it.

As he calmed down Spencer adjusted to lean up on his elbow, “Well, in that case…” he pushed a stray hair out of your face, peering down at you with a warm smile and an unmistakable glimmer in his eyes.

He didn’t even try to finish his sentence before he pounced on you, bringing you into his arms and nuzzling quick kisses into the side of your neck. You let out a playful shriek and tried to roll him off of you, giggles bubbling back up inside your belly. 

Eh, cleanup can wait.

#sorry this took so long!!! #please enjoy ehehe #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The Mind Killer

Denis Villeneuve: hey frank what if we put a giant rubber bondage spider in dune Frank Herbert: [snorting space cocaine] sounds great!

David Lynch: what if i taped a cat to a rat and then you had to suck the cat titties to get a poison antidote Frank Herbert: [snorting space cocaine] top notch work, guys Herbert: love how you're all really making the story your own

Frank Herbert: anyway there's politics happening on dune Poe: i thought we already did this bit King: yeah frank you said if we sat through the political intrigue we'd get to see the worm Herbert: YOU'LL SEE THE WORM WHEN I'M GODDAMN READY OKAY

Barker: WORM Herbert: no no Barker: WORM! Herbert: not again Barker: c'mon everybody! say it with me! WORM! Poe: King: Lovecraft: Koontz: Koontz: worm Barker: Yeah!! now you got it! Koontz: WORM Koontz: WORM!!!

Barker: that's the spirit! now steve King: WORM! Barker: howard Lovecraft: WORM! Barker: edgar Poe: Barker: c'mon edgar bro don't leave me hanging Poe: Poe: okay fine Poe: WORM! Barker: now we're cooking!

Herbert: look i know you all like the worm but here's something even better than the worm Herbert: so the Bene Gesserit have this special box Edward Lee: haha hell yeah bro Herbert: see, you gotta put your hand in the box Lee: haha hell YEAH BRO

Angela Carter: hey everyone what's happening King: frank was just telling us about this special box that you put your hand into Carter: oh yeah i know all about that King: what? Carter: nothing Carter: just Carter: nothing, never mind, just go on with the story

Herbert: ok see you put your hand in this box and it's the worst pain a man can endure Carter: oh yeah the pain A MAN can endure Carter: cuz we all know the incredibly high threshold of pain that men have Herbert: Herbert: well, it really hurts ok

Herbert: it's literally the worst, most unendurable pain Mary Shelley: i bet i could endure it Herbert: um no you couldn't Shelley: yeah but i could endure it Herbert: NO you couldn't Shelley: Shelley: bet i could

Shelley: i'm not scared of some fuckin nerd box Shelley: i'd stick my hard in that box so hard Shelley: like, ALL the way into that fuckin box Patricia Highsmith: [immediately inhaling cigarette down to ashes]

Herbert: but if you take your hand out of the box you get stabbed w a gom jabbar Shelley: anyone tries that and i'd fuck em up Herbert: you don't even know what a gom jabbar is!! Shelley: i don't need to know Herbert: [to King] she doesn't even know what a gom jabbar is

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #clive barker #edgar allan poe #dean koontz #hp lovecraft #mary shelley #angela carter #patricia highsmith #frank herbert #david lynch #edward lee #Denis Villeneuve

[toasterghostie]

2024 Predictions:

-Swifties join together as a hivemind to become a fifty foot collective being and start hunting down Taylor's exes,

- ai written songs reminiscent of a mix of vocaloid and "Carol and Tuesday", we revolt after.

-David Tennant comes out as bisexual,

-tiktok makes a new trend where you sit in a busy intersection/road and try to make something with an easy back oven before you get ran over/ arrested/ removed,

-surge in cowboy aesthetic on Instagram where you wear jeans, eat beans and collect horse memorabilia, homosexual undertones optional but encouraged.

-pegging joke in new Dr who episodes,

-we get another equally hilarious fucked up painting restoration as the weird Jesus,

-Porygon is forgiven by Pokémon™ and Pikachu is held accountable for his crimes in a live action court room recording, the defender is wearing the chubby Pikachu costume and their lawyer is wearing Misty's outfit but with a red tie.

-Wednesday S2 has painter dude accidentally sleep paint himself a new face as the in universe excuse for changed actor.

-Scientists introduce rats to just dance, they start beating global top records within the first week,

-politicians start getting pelted with rubber chickens in public.

-Someone puts googly eyes on the Eiffel tower, three months later same thing with the statue of liberty.

Last but not least;

-Disney's first gay character.

#shitpost #2024 predictions #Taylor swift #taylor swift #swifties #vocaloid #ai #carol and tuesday #david tennant #bisexual #tiktok #tiktok trend #easy bake oven #cowboy #instagram #dr who #pegging mention #painting restoration #porygon did nothing wrong #pokemon #pikachu #wednesday season two #rats #just dance #rubber chicken #googly eyes #disney #gay

[erial-c]

milo anthology audio 🗣

YESSSS sweetheart is finally the one who gets spooked, ohh how the tables have turned

sweetheart pretending like they arent undercover and milo not buying it😭😭 ALSO THE NICKNAMES ?? "sweet lips" "sweets" "sweet cheeks" kill me now

milo rebane huh. . .. AND the house of rebane being the most powerful vampire house in dahlia???? ok bitch work. . . ..💅

"i got a department rat on my doorstep?? ohh you picked the wrong house to fuck with, sweets. im about to ruin your fuckin life, this is my lucky night, bitch" LORDDD OK🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

good to know that mistreatment from dump is a multiverse constant . ..

sweetheart panicking and milo helping them breathe ,, , callback to the springback video i love this

PORTER????? PORTER IS HERE ?? AND HE'S IN THE SAME HOUSE AS MILO???? porter rebane, , , , , why does that name eat a litte bit ..(not as much as porter solaire but still) kinda wish we saw him here (#1 porter fan 🫶🫶)

dump rlly fucked sweetheart over by giving them the quinn situation as their first assignment 😭 and milo telling them they're probably not cut out for this LMAOOO

"excuse me? ill say fuck as much as i fucking want to, thank you very fucking much. fuck you, how about that?" CHILL LMAO

quinn is dead here . already loving this universe more just because of that . ALSO . TALBOT PACK⁉️⁉️ where is david don't do this to me

milo inviting sweetheart over. . . .. this is early vincent levels of charisma u gotta be shitting me

"what, im supposed to whisk you away in my arms? you gotta earn that, baby." kill me already

#vamp milo... save me #save me vamp milo . .. #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted fooliverse #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #fooliverse #redacted april fooliverse

[fdelopera]

A Jewish Analysis of Moon Knight Online as We Approach Hanukkah

So, I am a Jew. I am a Moon Knight fan. And I need to address an elephant in the room.

Over the past month on Tumblr, I have seen people making some of the most blatant antisemitic statements I’ve ever seen in all my life.

And I say this as a Jew who lived through a Nazi mass shooting on my Jewish community back in 2018. I say this as a Jew who used to have Evangelical Christians call me “Christ-killer” when I was younger. I say this as a Jew who grew up in the Midwest near a chapter of the KKK. The KKK would hold regular rallies against Jews, only a few miles from my house.

So when I tell you the antisemitism online has been bad, I’m saying it’s as bad as what the KKK does during their rallies.

Unfortunately, some of the antisemitism I’ve seen online has come from some people who are in the Moon Knight fandom, a community built around celebrating a Jewish system.

And as a Jew, I need to address this directly, especially as we approach Hanukkah.

I am putting this next section under a Read More, with a Trigger Warning for antisemitic language and mentions of SA.

This may be painful to read. But I am asking you to please read it.

Let me preface what I am about to say by reminding you that antisemitism is NEVER okay. Full stop. No matter the situation, no matter the conflict, antisemitism is NEVER justified. Antisemitism solves nothing. All it does is gets Jews harassed, attacked, and killed. If your response to any conflict is to respond with Jew-hatred, all you are doing is exposing yourself as an antisemite and a bigot.

And yet, I have seen people in the Moon Knight fandom reblog and say the most horrific, antisemitic things about Jewish people.

I have seen people in the Moon Knight fandom say that Jewish people deserve to be raped and murdered, specifically because we are Jewish. .

I have seen people in the Moon Knight fandom say that they think we Jews are like Nazis. This is called Holocaust-inversion. It is an antisemitic canard that started with the KKK (one of the major white supremacist hate groups in the US), and it is a form of Jew-taunting. Antisemites find the thing that is the most hurtful to Jewish people, and then they compare Jews to that. The Holocaust is our greatest tragedy. So by comparing us Jews to Nazis, you are intentionally degrading us. .

I have seen people in the Moon Knight fandom call Jews slurs that originated with the KKK and Neo-Nazis. Some people in the MK fandom have called Jewish people “Zios,” “Zio scum,” and “Zio rats” (among other slurs). These are antisemitic slurs from white supremacists. .

I have seen people in the Moon Knight fandom harassing me and other Jews to demand, “Are you a Zionist?” This is the “Good Jew/Bad Jew” antisemitic canard (or more accurately "Useful Jew/Bad Jew"), most notably used by the Nazis. You are sorting Jews into camps of “Good Jews” and “Bad Jews,” which puts ALL Jews in danger of attack. Antisemites use the "Good Jews" to attack other Jews, and then eventually antisemites label ALL Jews "Bad Jews" to justify attacking and even murdering us. This is what happened in my Jewish community in Pittsburgh, where a Nazi murdered eleven of us. He barged into Tree of Life synagogue and opened fire on two different congregations of Jews who were there for Shabbat. .

I have seen people in the Moon Knight fandom desecrating the Magen David and comparing it to a swastika. Again, this is another form of antisemitic Holocaust-inversion and Jew-taunting. You are comparing one of our most sacred symbols (the Magen David, or Star of David) to the swastika, the symbol of the Nazis. .

I have seen people in the Moon Knight fandom say that they want millions of Jews to die.

Let me put this clearly. If in some hypothetical scenario, you met Steven Grant on the street, would you go up to him and say, “Fucking die, you Zio rat!" or "Hitler should've killed more of you!” or “You’re a fucking Nazi!” Of course you wouldn’t. So don’t say this to REAL LIFE Jewish people, either.

If you are treating a FICTIONAL Jewish character with more respect and care than REAL LIFE Jewish people, you need to do some serious soul searching.

There is a term for the act of obsessing over a fictional Jew while at the same time disrespecting and harassing actual Jewish people: It’s called fetishizing Jewish people.

Here’s the thing that you maybe fail to understand. This is a VITAL lesson we Jews learned from the Holocaust: If you are a Jew, you are a Jew. Our fates are linked. It doesn’t matter what country we were born in. It doesn’t matter if we are Orthodox or non-practicing. It doesn’t matter what our political stance is on anything. Antisemites don’t care. They want us all dead.

There are only 16 million of us in the entire world. We’re 0.2% of the world’s population, and we were nearly all murdered several decades ago by the Nazi Holocaust in Europe and widespread ethnic cleansing by Arabs in the Middle East. Not to mention widespread pogroms in Eastern Europe a generation before (that is when my family came to America). And the 2000 years of antisemitic persecution and mass murder before that.

An attack on one Jew is an attack on all Jews. This is why Jews collectively mourn the eleven Jews who were murdered by a Nazi in the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. Jews across the US and around the world say Mourner’s Kaddish for them.

And if you say you want Jews thousands of miles away to be mass murdered, you are saying that about me, too. You are telling me that you want me to be killed in the most brutal, vile, degrading way possible.

.

And now, Hanukkah is coming up. And there is about to be #MKCember (an art challenge like Inktober) within the Moon Knight community. And some of the art prompts relate to Hanukkah and to Shabbat.

And I think I’m one of the only Jews still involved in any capacity within the Moon Knight fandom on Tumblr.

Most of you in the Moon Knight fandom are gentiles (people who are not Jews). And you are about to create art that will relate to a Jewish holiday about Jewish perseverance in the face of annihilation. Hanukkah celebrates Jewish hope when all seems lost.

You are about to create art that relates to the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem in 164 BCE, after Jews fought a bloody war for Jerusalem against the Seleucid Greek Empire. The Seleucids had defiled the Jewish Temple by slaughtering pigs on the altar, so the Jews, led by Judah Maccabee, had to purify the Temple. That is where the origin of the Hanukkah tradition comes from.

You are about to create art that relates to the Hanukkah Miracle, the Miracle of the Oil, that is recorded in the Talmud, one of our most sacred texts.

Hanukkah is NOT a communal holiday. It is NOT a gentile holiday. Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday. It is for Jewish people. Gentiles can participate, but only if you are respectful. And some people in the Moon Knight fandom have been horribly disrespectful to Jewish people.

And I remember last year, when many gentile artists created weird, culturally insensitive approximations of Hanukkah. Things like the hanukkiah (Hanukkah menorah) having the wrong number of branches, and being lit incorrectly. Things like MK System being dressed up in a Christmas sweater. Things like the Magen David (Star of David) having 5 points instead of 6.

Last year, I could laugh it off as people being ignorant.

But this year, after seeing the barrage of antisemitism that has come from some people in the Moon Knight fandom, this kind of poorly researched Hanukkah art will feel like a slap in the face.

So, what are some things that you can do if you are a Moon Knight artist, and you want to draw Hanukkah-related Moon Knight art for this challenge?

Here are 5 very strong recommendations:

NUMBER 1:

FIRST AND FOREMOST. If you are NOT going to be respectful of Jewish holidays, culture, and traditions, DO NOT make ANY art that depicts Hanukkah, or any Jewish holiday.

If you cannot respect Jewish people, you are NOT QUALIFIED to make art that relates to Jewish people.

I do NOT want to see someone posting Moon Knight art they’ve drawn next to a post comparing Jews to Nazis. In the words of Gene Wilder, a Jewish actor, “You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir.”

Draw something else.

And if I see any antisemitic art posted online by supposed Moon Knight fans, you best believe I will be calling you out, and so will other Moon Knight fans.

NUMBER 2:

If you are prepared to be respectful of Jewish people and Jewish traditions, DO YOUR RESEARCH. For instance, there are lots of videos on YouTube where Jewish people show you how to light a hanukkiah (Hanukkah menorah).

MyJewishLearning.com, for example, has an explanation of Hanukkah candle lighting: click here.

These are two simple tutorials of how to light the hanukkiah (Hanukkah menorah): click here, and here.

This is an artistic example from last year of how to draw MK System lighting Hanukkah candles: click here.

Since there are also artistic prompts relating to Shabbat, this is a page that describes the blessings and customs for Shabbat: click here.

NUMBER 3:

Don’t depict Moon Knight using Christian symbology. Don’t depict MK System as a Catholic knight. Don’t depict MK System wearing a Christmas sweater, or opening presents from under a Christmas tree. This is antisemitic. It is Jewish erasure.

If you are going to depict MK System in a holiday-related context, honor their Jewishness.

This is an artistic example from last year of how to depict MK System festively, without erasing their Jewishness: click here.

NUMBER 4:

If you are friends with a Jewish person, you might have the idea to ask them to review your art. BUT. Big caveat here. We Jews have just been through a month of utter HELL. Judging at least from my inbox, each of us has likely received dozens of death threats and hateful messages from antisemites over the past few weeks, just because we are Jewish. We are EXHAUSTED. So if you are friends with a Jewish person, do not be offended if they tell you that no, they don’t have the spoons to help you. And really, it’s best to just do your own research, and not ask Jews to do any more emotional labor than we already are doing.

NUMBER 5:

MOST IMPORTANT. Again, Be respectful. If you are a gentile, Hanukkah is not a holiday that belongs to you. It belongs to Jewish people. It celebrates thousands of years of Jewish perseverance. It celebrates all the times Jewish people were driven to the brink, but managed to hold on by the skin of our teeth. It reminds us that we are still here. It tells us that we will survive.

Respect Jews. Respect our holidays. Respect our culture. Respect our traditions.

Thank you.

#moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #mcu moon knight #moon knight comics #mkcember2023 #antisemitism tw #NOTE: I block and report antisemites. If any antisemites comment on this post you will be reported and blocked. You have been warned.

[babygirl-riley]

Daylight

Simon thinks about Reader and how his feelings are conflicted between wanting to hate her or to care for her.

Warnings: angst, swearing

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst list

Simon sat in his flat thinking about the last mission he was sent on. It was a tough one, was suppose to be an easy tag and grab but instead, a rat in the mix made sure the enemy knew. Ghost, Soap, and you were to retrieve the person and go, however once the truck pulled right up to the extraction point. That’s when it turned the gun fire, ducking, running, and of course failing.

It was Simon’s fault, at least he promoted himself that it was. Once shit hit the fan he made sure you were okay. Made sure you were shielded somewhere, in his sights, and gave orders to where you wouldn’t get too much in harms way. He knew you could take care of yourself but bloody fucking hell…ever since you came along into his life he made it his duty to make sure you’ll live.

Your beautiful eyes when they first came through the doors. You are confident, held yourself together, hell, fucking followed orders. You seemed perfect in his eyes. Too perfect for him. You were drawn to him, god only knows why. He knows you can’t be near him, it would blacken your soul like his is. So why did he want you so bad?

You would laugh at his horrible army jokes or dad jokes. You would stare right back at him when you both talked. You made sure that both you and him would be next to each other during debriefings, going to destinations, or hell even in the mess hall. You and him were inseparable to the point Johnny made a sly comment.

“Ya know she digs ya?” Soap said watching as you waltz over to them.

Ghost rolled his eyes. “Buzz off.” Ghost couldn’t shake that feeling, the butterflies, the drop of excitement running through him. Her liking him? How? Good.

Simon held his glass of bourbon in his hand before sipping it. He can’t care for her, it’s starting to get to him. He would do anything for you, drop anything, jump when you say jump. Anything. At the same time he wants to stay completely away from you like you were a new plague.

Simon tried that, right after both of you fucked. When you fell asleep he left, ignored you, made sure you knew he didn’t want anything to do with you. Then you cornered him. Yelled at him for being such a coward. That made him fall harder, you weren’t afraid to put a man in place. Well it did piss him right the fuck off but after thoughts it made him hard. So he went to your quarters and did some sort of make up sex.

He still remembers your whimpers, cries, moans for him. What Simon loved the most was when you bit down hard enough to leave a mark for a couple of days. Simon even considered to get it tatted on. Never after having sex with someone if they left marks on him he wanted it there forever. It scared him.

Keeping the wall called Ghost up for no one to see Simon, was getting more and more difficult when you were around. Simon is a weakness that is what he would think. A broken man. A man that no one could or should love. That is where Ghost comes in, making sure he is the biggest bastard. Scary. Not to fuck with.

It’s like when you came around he was more kind, soft. You are too pure to be around him. Too kind. Too pure. It would be like putting black ink on a white paper, smearing it so it becomes dark. He couldn’t do that. Not to an angel like you.

“Lt,” His heart stopped as he heard the angelic voice. “I need a reminder on where I am suppose to be.”

He knew that she was shocked that her and him were going on a duo mission together. Simon AVOIDED her like the plague for about 5 months, since she started. You didn’t mind no, you weren’t scared of him but it made you irritated that the man doesn’t know you and avoids you. Soooo why not avoid him?

“With me Sargent.” He blankly said looking down at your doe eyes.

“Good,” You said with a smirk. God that that smirk did in his stomach. He glared out of curiosity. You did this all the time, the moment he gave you attention you would make a remark. A glance. A smile. Even when he barely wanted you around. That’s what drew him in. “I will pack my things and we can head out.”

He watched you walk away, the way you hips swayed. How her hair swayed. God he fucking hated you (he didn’t really hated the feelings he felt). He wished that he didn’t have to sit here smoking all his cigarettes, chewing his nails, and adjust his pants when he would think of you. Especially adjusting his pants, made him feel like a bloody child, a creep.

His mind would be plagued each night thinking about how you would look underneath him. Or even in a night breeze walking with you hand and hand. Ghost hated it but Simon. Simon is the one who would drop anything for you. It killed him. He wanted to but he has no one that he would drop his walls for. Hell even Price knows small details.

“Fuck.” He whispered lighting a cigarette. He brought it to his mouth inhaling the cancerous paper.

You laughed actually laughed, he told the most common dad military joke. Ghost was confused when you laughed hard, you shook your head. “Jesus Ghost never would have thought that you would be a comedian.”

Ghost huffed. “You think am just an all killin’ machine?”

You stopped walking making him stop as well. “No that’s not what I meant,” You said little panicking before he could stop you, you continued. “I think you are more than just a killing machine.”

Ghost just looked down at you didn’t know what to say. You just placed your hand on his cheek and smiled. “Y/n,” He grabbed your hand and holding it. “We have a team meeting to be at.”

Simon sighed, her face froze, it was engraved into his mind. Her half “fake” smile she gives when rookies ask dumb questions but she answers them. Because she is an angel. A light. Simon didn’t want his past to come back and darken her light. Of all the things he has and been doing. Simon sighed inhaling on his cigarette.

“LT,” Her voice rang through his ears. He turns to her she is smiling handing her a bloody knife. “Believe this is yours?”

He grunted taking it nicely from you, even in the middle of battle you looked beautiful. Ghost would of course concentrate at the task of hand but when the mission would be “dull,” he would look over at you. Make sure you were safe and not injured. Then notice how your hair would fall loose from a ponytail/braid. How when you killed a man it would be graceful.

After missions you would have a cigarette with him. Sit there talking about some family stories or banter back and forth. He wanted you so bad, watching how your lips would wrap the cigarette. Your laugh. Your voice. Ghost could listen to you all day and night.

Simon stood up grabbing the phone that ran throughout his flat. “Ghost we need ya.” The familiar gruff voice that belongs to his Captain.

“On my way.” He replied huffing the last bit of cigarette, hanging up.

Simon sighed looking down on his phone. He inhaled deeply thinking about seeing you again. Watching your moves. And not being able to have that light full out the darkness he so craves.

#simon ghost riley #call of duty modern warfare #simon riley #simon ‘ghost’ riley #call of duty mw2 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x female reader #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost x you

[f1nalgirl3]

DBD survivor headcannons

- Language barriers are a common problem for new survivors. Whenever a new one pops up in the campfire, the group’s first course of action is to figure out what language they speak, since they can’t do much else until that’s sorted out

-The entity has sapped the survivors of most of their physical strength, but heightened their stamina and durability. Which was a bit of shock for survivors like Chris Redfield when he realized he couldn’t just punch a hole in the killer and call it a day. That being said, it’s usually still his first instinct to fight the killer

-The survivors share items they recover from trials, and ration them to make sure nobody goes in empty handed. A lot of toolboxes and flashlights have been wasted by survivors throwing them at killers in a panic

-The only reason Dwight is considered the leader of the group is because he’s been here the longest. Whenever somebody new shows up in the fog, they’re directed right to him. He’s shown everyone the ropes, and still doesn’t really have the slightest clue how he’s managed to last this long

-That being said a lot of people have their doubts with him. This scrawny little white guy?? We’re gonna follow his lead?? Grizzled survivors like Bill or Ash seem like a much better candidate. But nobody else can rally the group together and motivate them like him. He doesn’t know how he does it either.

-Yun-jun Lee was HORRIFIED by the state of the campfire when she first arrived. She’s sat in the lap of luxury for so long that even the thought of getting her shoes dirty made her physically ill.

-Claudette and David are pretty close, considering how his main skill set involves taking hits, and hers involves healing them. His recklessness gives her heart palpitations.

-Within trials, survivors gain superhuman healing abilities, able to seal up wounds that would normally be lethal. Not fully, just enough to keep their organs from spilling out until they can get patched up by a medkit or another survivor. This isn’t always a positive though- If a survivor is left on hook long enough, their body will begin to mend itself around the hook, lifting them off from it just tears a new wound in them.

-The RE squad sticks together, god forbid they end up in a trial together, it’s every killers worst nightmare. They’re coordinated as fuck

-The only animals in the vast field surrounding the campfires are crows and rats. Several attempts to hunt them have been made, none have been successful. The survivors haven’t eaten in a very long time, they’re so hungry that even the rotted meat hung up in cold wind is starting to look appealing.

-The crows aren’t actually creations of the entity, they’re just prone to finding their way into the realm. They have a symbiotic relationship with it. The abundance of death within the realm is basically an all-you-can-eat-buffet for them, so long as they help the entity out when needed.

#dead by daylight #dbd #dbd headcanons #claudette morel #dwight fairfield #David King #yun jin lee #dbd survivor #dbd killer #ashley williams dbd #the entity dbd #first post baby

[thesherrinfordfacility]

✨ episode 1/2 - running commentary✨

- ok so im slightly disappointed that it's the eps i watched in the screening BUT IM DETERMINED TO LOVE IT ANYWAY SO WE REMAIN OPTIMISTIC AND WE MOVE~~

- angel crowley is so young and innocent my poor boy he's been through so much

- like now im watching it, it feels like putting it in a cinema was a Bad Choice and maybe that's why I didn't like it??? it feels way more authentic and cosy on tv

- im sorry but crowley sounds like such an old man in the park scene, "frozen peas... it's good for them too🙂"

- seriously this is so much more palatable on tv format i can't get over it

- OH MAGGIE I LOVE YOU

- aziraphale god bless ur little cotton socks

- god crowley's legs got me SWEATIN

- ugh crowleys hand in the cafe is so FRUITY

- lmao "purely selfish action" aziraphale is so self aware and I love it

- no im sorry but goob is the fucking star of the show you cannot change my mind but dialogue and delivery wise he is currently CARRYING

- Dartmoor mention had me creasing, that's literally on my doorstep

- aziraphale's bitchy ass face then he sits down in the backroom honestly watered my crops and healed nature

- okay im sorry but the dialogue is still a little off for me I won't lie💀

- beelzebub's accent is just 😘👌 perfect, but equally feel like they'd be perfect in a production of oliver

- god believe me i feel for nina but... I... do not like her, and they are NOT suited for each other at all

- I LEARNT MY PASSION IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED SCHOOL OF LOVER BOYS

- that dance is so low effort I'm sorry it should have been the macarena or cha cha slide

- crowley's bow tho is so hot he's so graceful he looks like a swan

- and yeah the refs to the other years that aziraphale did the dance is GIVING ME HEART PALPITATIONS ugh

- he and goob are like cats on a hot tin roof like IMMEDIATE hissing vibes

- lmao ok so that episode does end there then... such a weird ending im sorry but yeah let's fully retract the alternate episode theory (but @prime you need to hire me for s3 just a thought bc 👀)

- anyway ep2 I'm sorry but the angelic herald speech thing is cute and funny but also so cringe hmmm

- gabriel is lord farquaad ugh

- I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS IS A COMEDY UGH but i miss the slightly serious undertones in s1 sob god I hope they come back later on

- UGH THE TURTLENECK🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

- shax is mommy I don't make the rules

- I noted it in the screening but angel wings for earrings, Maggie????

- nice job on the lie aziraphale well done once again making excellent choices you're so smart and valid (utter moron)

- "SOUNDS A BIT UNLIKELY" LMAO GET FUCKED CROWLEY

- oh goob you really are going through it my bby I love u

- crowley's face after may god forgive you KILLS ME this scene is honestly the stand out one in both ep1 and ep2 if you ask me

- TY TY TY god bless u but you also make me so uncomfortable

- jobs youngest kid truly gives me life

- lmao the fact that aziraphale does actually recognise when crowley tempts him is hilarious tho bc he just conveniently disregards it by the bench scene in s1 hmmm character development or character regression WHO KNOWS

- ok no I'm sorry but the mukbang scene is so unnecessary and uncomfortable

- "whack the kids" honestly the best line of this scene imo, but upon reflection and rewatching it, crowley's demeanour is rather heartbreaking whilst he's reclined getting ratted

- FRANCES FRANCES FRANCES ✨💓

- 'but just to be able to ask the question' UGH CROWLEY STOP

- lmao shoemaking and obstetrics what a combo god bless

- THEY CAN ARRIVE AT ANY SIZE lmao and Michael is too sharp for their own good... but I do hate that gabriel is utterly inept, he came across as cruel and calculating if a little ignorant in s1 but not this comedically stupid

- "yes I bloody am" TY MY LOVE

- Michael sheen and David Tennant deserve nominations for the children swap scene alone, imo the strongest bit of acting in the ep im sorry 'you have my word as an angel' KILL ME

- why is nina obsessed with crowley, like I get it babes but also why

- THEY ARE SO MARRIED MT PARTNER AND I ARGUE OVER THE CAR ALWAYS "our car" LMAO 💀💀💀

- ✨✨✨IT WAS A NICE DAY, ALL THE DAYS HAD BEEN NICE✨✨✨

- ok the rock scene is so much more emotional on tv, so much better

OKAY RIGHT EP3 LETS HAVE ITTTTT

#good omens #good omens season 2 #go2 commentary #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #not a shitpost but its good omens babyyyy #edit: it unnerves me that neil liked this cesspit of inner monologue but similarly the man's a madlad and cannot be contained #go off i guess

[quohotos]

what's something you would want to see in an animated adaptation of the underland chronicles?

Oh BOY where to begin?

These are going to be in no particular order...

Each trailer should have the prophecy read out in a dramatic voice. The trailer for the first one will go "And eight will be left when we count up the dead" and then a quick montage of some pretty scary shit happening but the cuts are too fast to see what's actually happening. The only exception to this is the marks of secret where the fact that the song is a prophecy is a reveal (however the song plays in full in the trailer, it's just structured different from the others)

The animation should be a little edgy. Give things hard angles, stay away from the bulbous smooth (Modern) Disney look.

Really go nuts with the bat designs. Embrace the warrior cats OC-ness of it. Let all the background bats be just as vibrant and wacky as the main cast.

Everyone's bond should sorta look like them, kinda the way that dogs kinda look like their owners. Solovet's bond should look like a total villain. Euripides should look like Vikus. I mean, Aurora's got that gold thing going on which Luxa also has with the crown. The bonds gotta look like they belong together spiritually.

The nibblers need to have more of a role before the marks of secret. Have them in the background of other shots, have them actually get lines in the jungle, see if they can be more present at the council discussing the plague, write some new scenes for them, etc. I wouldn't even be against them inventing a new nibbler character and putting them on one of the earlier quests. The audience should already know and care about them before we see them being horribly brutalized in a reenactment of a real world genocide.

Ares, and all the other bats for that matter, need to have very expressive eyes. They don't always get a lot of lines so they should still have a way to have visible presence in the scene's that they're in.

Every time the bats do that thing where they detect rats and their ears shoot up it should play a musical sting

All the underland creatures/factions should have their own leitmotif. Ripred's lieitmotif should be this uncanny blending of both the rat's theme but also with hints of the Regalians and Gregor's. After Gregor think's that boots has died in the labyrinth there should be this super dramatic and gutwrenching theme, and then all the music just stops for the rest of the movie until they reunite and then the music can come back. The most you get is like a minimalist drum and base sequence, but nothing properly melodic until we know that boots is safe.

The sequence Gregor escaping with Ares and Pearlpelt from the labyrinth should be all in one take.

Every time Gregor slips into the Rager state it should be accompanied by a recognizable sound effect sting and have it's own sound effect and muscial sting. Something like glass shattering mixed with reverb and pitch shifted down. Rager sequences should be in first person and show just how much he's dissociated from the violence he's doing. The audience just sees that split vision with all the weak points highlighted and one by one they get crossed out.

I hope they cast someone appropriately nasally to play Ripred, I think he should be a little high pitched and scrungly. However, I would make an exception if they somehow got Kieth David to voice him. I would be very unsatisfied if they cast Ryan Reynolds

I hope they cast someone with a deep voice to play Ares. He needs to be big and imposing and scary. He needs to be like the big kid at the playground. The fact that there's a more pained sensitive side to him needs to be a revelation. He needs to be a bit monstrous so you can understand why everyone sees him that way, and why he's dying not to be seen that way but has basically given up and accepted how the world sees him. I would be very Unsatisfied if they cast Ryan Reynolds. It would be fucking hilarious if they cast Chris Pratt... I would hate it but it would probably work and that makes me very mad.

I don't really care how Gregor is cast. Caleb McLaughlin would be a perfect Gregor, but he's all grown up now. He could probably still voice him but it wouldn't be the same. I do not care so long as it's not Ryan Reynolds.

Please don't have anyone call Gregor "Greg"... that just feels wrong. Well maybe Ripred would do it specifically to piss him off.

Henry needs to have a dumb haircut, like... it has to be stupid and ostentatious.

The audience should get to see Ripred from close to Gregor's perspective often. Have the camera right over his shoulder and tilted up to see just how tall this beast is.

Let us see more of the happy times that are alluded to at the start of the marks of secret. Even if it's just a montage, let us see them being normal. Let us see Gregor and Ares play that ball game and see the kids just hanging out. Please 😭

Make Gregor more talkative. There's great moments of internal monologue that could be lost in a screen adaptation, let him talk to Ares or Luxa or even temp about it.

In the code of claw Ares should go with him to the prophecy room to learn that he's going to die. Gregor should tell him about the stone knight and it can be something they share. You can even set it up with them doing the bond handshake there while laying on the floor so that it's a visual callback later (Fuck, I just thought of that and now I'm destroyed again).

I mentioned this in another post, but I think it would be cool to have Gregor get a walkman or other battery powered music player from the museum. They can have a few tunes to bond over, but eventually they have to take the batteries out to put them into flashlights.

A huge missed opportunity in the books is how basically every single human in the Underland we see is royalty or part of the military. I think it would be cool to let us see a bit more of how the regular people live. Maybe have one or two characters who aren't royal or soldiers.

Earlier entries should try to cut away from the violence, simply showing the character's reactions to the horrible things happening around them. Later entries should stop hiding it, paralleling the loss of innocence of the characters. By the code of claw Gregor and Ares, or at the very least Ripred, should be allowed to swear. There's no way you're getting that story on screen without at least a PG 13 rating, and these people just witnessed a genocide and are about to kill a bunch of people in a war. Gregor can say "Holy shit" instead of "aww Jeez" at least once. I also just think "What's your plaaaaaaan" is great but "What's your fucking plan?" lands pretty hard as well.

Don't make the underland too visible. Don't add global illumination. Let there be darkness, let there be long shadows, let us only barely see distant things. When Gregor finally gets echolocation then make the distant things visible through a strange shader... but cut out the bit where he can echolocate heat that makes no sense.

Ms. Cormaci needs to sound exactly like how she did in the audiobook, this isn't up for debate.

When the Bane calls Gregor and Ares to battle it needs to be one of the most disturbing, blood chilling things the audience has ever heard. It needs to be loud, and painful, and monstrous. You gotta see that the pup we all loved and coddled has fully lost it and become this fascist ball of hatred and murder and violence. It should cut through the audience's core and silence everything else in the scene. Just have it hold there after he's shouted, showing them locking eyes on each-other and cutting back in between the two. Yes, the Bane has completely been subsumed as a symbol of his side, but so has Gregor. He's in the black armor, he's the figurehead as well. There are parallels, y'all.

Let the Shiners be at least 20% less awful. They're funny, but let them have their hero moment where they're redeemed in the marks of secret rather than saving it for the end of code of claw.

Old Hamnet in the flashbacks to the flooding of the garden should be hot. Flashback Ripred who was there is of course also hot. He remains so in the present as well.

The narrative that Gregor is told in the first book, that the natives just let Sandwitch have the Underland because they weren't really using it... it's heavily implied that's a lie, especially after we learn about the Diggers and how they were genocided and basically expunged from history. I think there should be a direct callback to it, make this implication an explicit part of the story.

Give my girl Aurora some more lines. She goes on all these adventures and never gets to be more than "Luxa's bat".

Oh no I hit character limit for this post... uh... I have a lot of thoughts and I probably will have more in the future 😅. Probably way more than you asked for but you opened the floodgates and this was the result.

Thank you for the ask!

#ask quohotos #gregor the overlander #the underland chronicles #tuc #tuc adaptation

[intocleanness]

kill six billion demons brainvomit: the sequel nobody wanted, everyone groans at my bullshit

MAYA TEN METI

MATHANGI MANTRA “SLAUGHTER THE GODS AND TOPPLE THEIR THRONES”

lets talk about her for a minute. not like you can stop me.

Maya’s like Solomon David, she’s learned the folly of Sword Law the hard way on a smaller scale but the fact remains: she had everything and then she lost everything. Her entire life, she chased power. When she was a child she came to Meti, begging her for strength. Time and time again Meti denied her. She grew, the war of the demiurges erupted, she got the training she wanted alongside the street urchin-turned-swordsman Incubus. She became a god of the fractured world and returned to her master in all her splendor and glory.

And Meti destroyed her with a single fucking question: “Suppose you win, what then?”

This is where the paths of Solomon David and Maya diverge. Maya realized she had no answer for that, what would happen after there was no more recourse by violence. What do you do when Sword Law is no longer necessary?

She took Meti’s advice: she laid down her swords as ugly pieces of metal for idiots and built a house, learned the herbs of the forest and the taming of animals. She raised a family and was happy for a time. She learned the correct lessons.

And now we must turn to look at Incubus. Because we cannot talk about Maya without talking about Incubus. I apologize but it simply must be done.

The first word I think of when I think of Incubus is “desperate.” He needs above all else to be validated in any way whatsoever, friend or foe. He tells Allison “You need this” like some creepy dream stalker and Maya is only still alive out of hatred for him. It makes sense though, the first we see of him, he’s a feral street orphan that hears Meti and Maya and without hesitation carves his scalp to the bone with a rusty sword. Incubus fundamentally needs to be important to somebody, anybody, in any fashion. Present him with a rat, say “kill it,” and he’ll chop it in half without hesitation. He will do anything to be more than nothing.

He and Maya seem to have a good relationship right up to the moment she decided to actually listen to Meti and cast off the trappings of godhood in favor of leading a normal life. At which point Incubus thought “you can’t discard me. I need to matter. I won’t be discarded!”

And then he murdered her family and ripped the syllables of God out of her head. Then he tried ten times to decapitate her and failed.

Here is where I wind back around to talking about Maya. I don’t have a specific word to describe Maya, but gun to my head? “Hate.” Maya hates Incubus so much she has lived for thousands of years. Maya hates so hard, she can not so much cut as hate you in half. The fundamental principal of her technique, the Maybe Sword, is that the wielder can simply will something to be cut, But as she says, its foundation is in anger and grief, so it is a terrible thing to wield.

Can it kill a god? Maybe.

Maya regrets that she has this knowledge and wishes she was a simple noodle seller, just like Meti told her all those years ago. Incubus? guy sucks wish i didnt have to talk so much about the fucking stinkboy. hes an extraordinarily poor swordsman

#kill six billion demons