#they ALL make me sick

[television-overload]

No I don't have a "type" of ship I gravitate toward, why do you ask?

#they ALL make me sick #these necklaces both carry such narritive weight it's insane #the way mulder hangs on to hers when she's missing #WEARS IT WHILE HAVING A BREAKDOWN AND MAKING QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS #and whst it represents to scully #he finds it in antarctica too #not to mention all the times he just reaches out to touch it. even when they’ve barely just met. #and then TONY #first of all i fully believe he bought her the replacement necklace after she was held captive in somalia #'i would sooner die than take this necklace off' #and then when she LEAVES #she uses the necklace as a message to him #he brings it back to her #only for him to sneak it into his pocket as something to remember her by #and he keeps it in his desk for YEARS after she's gone #some symbol that one day maybe they'll be together #the only piece of her he has left #UNTIL #he gets a living breathing piece of her. and he gives that little girl her mother’s necklace. #SICK I TELL YOU #WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE SHIPS AND WHY COULDN’T THE CREATORS LET THEM BE HAPPY #ncis #txf #x files #tiva #msr #ziva david #tony dinozzo #fox mulder #dana scully

[jamminvroomvroom]

just feel like if we’re gonna do the whole instagram activism thing, merc and f1 should at the very least name and shame and drag mans to hell and back, and take that entire shitty family with him.

#but they won’t of course bc #sing it with me now #racism #they all make me sick

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ewansmitchell]

art/patrick + old childhood best friends motif

#challengers #art x patrick #art donaldson #patrick zweig #artrick #* #this whole concept...i am sick over it you have no idea. #it will always make me go feral in fiction #i'm sorry it's so long idk if anyone's gonna read it but it's my bday today #and i've been thinking of all the people i used to love who aren't in my life anymore #and their relationship really resonated with me on a deep level #for this reason #fire and ice

[kevinsdsy]

what do you mean neil josten knew to calculate the distance between him and an older man so he could easier avoid getting hit (and run away) when jean moreau calculated to stay within arm reach of his coach because “a coach who had to get up to strike hit harder than one who could simply take a swing”. i’m gonna be sick.

#the parallels i keep finding make me SICK #all for the game #aftg #the sunshine court #tsc #the foxhole court #jean moreau #neil josten #tfc

[maryn00b]

tim drake and his weird ass hair

if you saw the typo no u didnt

~~*expand for close ups*~~

#marynoob #myart #fanart #art #tim drake #red robin #bernard dowd #timbern #they make me sick *puts them in my mouth and starts munching* #no but seriously WHAT IS HIS HAIR ??? #tim drake bisexual caffeine addict hes just like me fr #i love how DONE he looks in some of these #bet all his thoughts at board meetings are just bernard smiling at him

[cabinette]

I don't even care about them. i don't care about them at ALL.

#Making out while theyre both drunk and Senshi is all drowsy n still but chilchuck is happy n loopy #they're so bad at it it's so unsexy. to anyone but them #pots n picks #chilshi #jesus fucking christ they make me so so so so so so so so sick. THEY MAKE ME SOOOOOSO O S IIIIIICK #I CARE ABOUT THEM SO MUCH #art cabinet #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck tims #senshi of izganda

[merrigel]

I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward

#artists on tumblr #animation #in stars and time #isat #illustration #in stars and time spoilers #isat spoilers #like for real #anyway I'm still thinking about Siffrin Instarsandtime #shoutout to tumblr user jb-blunk for the words from the caption which inspired this whole deal #literally finished the game and had those words looping (haHA) in my head like 'how do I use this what can I do to match this feeling' LMAO #if you haven't played ISAT well. first of all stop looking don't glean anything from this shhhh- but also GO PLAY IT IT'S EXCELLENT #heavily based off the astronomical clock in Prague! I love that thing so it was really fun to try and make it more ISAT-like #bc the themes are already there yanno!! Stars n' whatnot! And then of course the craft types instead of the astrological signs! #Loop and the King for the sun and the moon!! #can you tell I thought about and planned this one for like. A while. Longer than I usually spend LMAO #so yeah go play it immediately come be absolutely ILL and SICK and PLAGUED about the secret boss with me #fanart #pic

[ash-and-starlight]

one day, in a thousand years

#I THINK I HAUVE COVID #oh to meet your love after a thousand years at a museum exhibit of your past lives #thinking about them makes me so sick so ILL DISEASED #I AM NOT IMMUNE #spc i’m cursing u forever for this wtf. WTF bro wtf #ouyang’s last thoughts were a desperate plea for esen to wait for him. #he has NEVER called him by first name he has NEVER asked him anything #and his last thought is asking him to wait #and esen does. bc he would have given ouyang anything he asked for #god i hope u get rawed so good it makes up for all the lost lifetimes u earned it #he who drowned the world #she who became the sun #the radiant emperor #general ouyang #esen-temur #(zhu also present in the golden imperial dragon and the golden light of gayness that brought them together again) #my art #not super proud of how it turned out tbh tbh it looks better in my head 😔😔 #would’ve stayed in the drafts if not for my need to feed this 4 ppl fandom #and if not for robin motivation nfngdjfb ty kissa you forever #id in alt text

[leosmiserables]

the doctor and rose are WILD because what do you MEAN she became bad wolf and almost died purely out of love for him? what do you MEAN he saved her with a kiss, an act of love? and died because of it? smiling at her and telling her that she was fantastic? and that ten then was MADE out of love for her???? what do you MEAN

#doctor who #tenrose #ninerose #timepetals #there’s so much love between them all the time it makes me sick #everything they do they do for eachother #im losing it

[golyadkin]

I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr

not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work

believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody

#not art #listen #for real #this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people #you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here #every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it #that never see my cursor close to the save button #i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person #i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me #because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art #is by doing it for the sake of doing it #not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare #anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse #but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website #stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags #your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that #if you're an artist for a living that's another story #but even then #even then #anyways sorry i'm done ranting

[fiendishartist2]

hold on i need to converse with my co counsel *turns to 15 yr old girl*

#ooouuuuggghhh i need to replay apollo justice #i miss them all so much #i know they're not coming back for aa7 and if they are they will continue to be husks of their former selves #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #ace attorney #apollo justice #trucy wright #i cant even think about what they did to trucy in aa5 and 6 it makes me literally sick #stay away from her!!!!!!!!! #they're besties i love them

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at #also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat. #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #doodlebyte #'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance... #you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral #anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn #sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town #i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming #id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country #plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure #all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities #and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this #which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match. #and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc. #just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it

[pbnmj]

noir fanartists deliberately ignoring how he doesn't need glasses anymore is so funny to me. i hope we all think he's blind as a bat

#blah blah blah but it wouldnt make sense and fighting crime would be so much harder #SO BE IT. I THINK HE'S GOT -8 IN EACH EYE #spider-man noir #spiderman noir #peter parker #betty brant #j jonah jameson #jameson #noir #betty #my art #i have also reread noir 08 and 09 so prepare to be sick of me #also he seems to be squinting all the time in the 08 run. ofc this is because he is mad as hell the entire way #and usually has a very pinched expression because of the Horrors..... but im choosing to ignore that #also the idea of the spidergod having powers strong enough to bring pete back to life over and over and still not fixing his eyesight #it simply makes me giggle LMFAO

[bellwethers]

GURIFISU

#I just wanted to experiment with a colour pallet #but that red kinda makes me feel sick when I look at it #I also feel like I should try drawing different things since all I ever do is draw characters from one angle but I also enjoy doing that #so why stress about doing other things? #I don’t want my art to be boring I guess #fanart #berserk #griffith #griffith berserk

[heartorbit]

WHEEEEEE

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #i drew this insteabd of payong attention to class. Sorry. #And am posting it while i wait for the bus. I ha e sleey disease #SLEEPY. #emu otori from um . fortntie #Rhebusihesjehr THE BUS IS HERE BYYE #edit ok im back waiting for my transfer BROTHER. THE ANNIVIERYUAEYH it got me so fucked up prsk you crazy son of a gun #I THINK THE NEW OUTFITS ARE RLLY CUTE MIKU SOOOO KITTY #im almost done with all of my commsni dont think i will open them again this semester. or next. summer. Im sho tired #my assignments r fun but theyre like big. Theyrbe large #my prof said he was gonna make us make fur/sonas for an assignment hut didnt want to get fired. dont be a coward #proseka autism is killinng me i cant lie WHY IS DARKNESS FESTA TIERING SO FUCKING CRAZY #IVE NEVER EVER SEEN THE 10K CUTOFF REACH A MILLION POINTS ON EN. USUALLY WE SLACK SO HARD. COME ON #im so sleepy and have things to do please sotp it AND CURTAINCALL IM GONNA BE SICK I CANT TRHJNK ABOUT IT