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sweetcrazyluvie · 1 day

Text

small feelings

fwb jaehyun x afab reader

18+ mdni, smut

summary: you cannot shake off this feeling of sadness and aimlessness, and the only thing that makes you feel alive these days is having sex up with your sneaky link / fwb jaehyun. but after a particular hookup session, you realize you are certain of your feelings for him: you are in love with him. on top of all these lingering mental problems, you realize he will never love you back. so you have no choice but to push him away, and everything else too.

wc: 8k (girl bye it was not that serious)

cw: very self-indulgent im ctfu, depressed / miserable reader, very brief suicide ideation, some blood bc reader gets hurt from dropping a vase, kinda hurt/comfort (?), protected sex turns unprotected, creampie, petnames (baby, angel, princess), jaehyun kinda gets freaky and possessive, arguing followed by a time skip, HEAVY miscommunication, idk what else honestly I suck at this omg I was just sad and horny

OCTOBER, WEEK 1

he’s approaching. well, that is what he told you about half an hour ago. and since then, you have been scrambling around the house back and forth, trying to clean up as best as you can because something as simple as that seems to slip from your mind among other things recently.

you scan your room with your eyes to see if you missed anything, and, of course, you did: your bright purple vibrator sitting pretty on your pink sheets—of which you were using before he called. you mentally smack yourself at how stupid you are to almost leave something like that out in the open.

your heart races as you run to the bathroom to do a quick clean to at least give the illusion that it is not entirely dirty. and so you do the same for every area in the house again, even the ones he will not go in. essentially, everything besides the garage because that is beyond saving.

jaehyun won’t care anyway, but eventually the place is finally to your liking and satisfaction. you head back to your room to change into a cute, tight, and pink outfit because that is something he does care about. deep down, you know that is why he is even coming to your house after work: for your body. however, you crave his too, so, in essence, that makes you just as bad.

you have to apply your makeup quickly; he should be here soon. but as your hands mindlessly work on your face, you stare at yourself in the vanity mirror: the girl who looks back is just so…unrecognizable. and for a split second, you swear you can see her frown back at you. when you blink, though, only your pathetic reflection remains.

you try to shake off the feeling as your phone screen lights up next to you.

jae <3 : I’m here. open the door.

he doesn’t knock. he never does. and somehow, the blunt tone of the message has you feeling uneasy.

you check yourself out just one more time before walking up to the door to let him in. but as your hand reaches for the doorknob, you let a sigh escape from your mouth to calm down. you are always nervous to see him, and you can’t help but hate yourself for that.

even so, you just clear your throat and fix your posture before finally opening the door. and there you see him: the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes upon. and more specifically, the man you wanted to be yours.

it all happened so fast. you were in his arms. I missed you’s were exchanged even though it hadn’t even been a week since the last. the both of you gravitated towards your room in an uncontrolled, frenzied manner—kissing and crashing into the walls on the way. clothes were thrown and scattered onto your carpet.

it all happened so fast—and so naturally. he just understands you in a way no one or nothing has: he makes you feel alive when everything else inside of you feels dead.

the night is young, and your body feels like it’s on fire. he’s unrelenting. it’s a feeling that you only want for yourself but you’ll never dare to let him know that—you can’t. and still, you want more. his cock is magic and you’re falling for its vicious spell.

it’s criminal: the lewd and loud sounds that your bodies make clapping against each other while also moaning relentlessly. the neighbors can probably hear you guys going at it but that does not matter at all when you’re with him. actually, all your problems vanish when you’re with him, and just maybe, that is why you always come back for more—the escapism is a drug.

“how do you feel and taste better each time? holy shit, baby.”

his nails dig those familiar crescents into your hips as the backshots he’s giving you only become more intense—pain and pleasure in its most pure and perfect form.

“this is what you wanted, huh?”

“oh god yes,” you mewl.

“taking it so good, princess.”

you unconsciously clench tight on his cock in response and he laughs softly.

“my pretty girl likes it when I tell her how good she’s doing… so fucking cute. you make it so hard to hold back, you know?”

your back arches and your hands grip onto the sheets with such a violent and searing pleasure that can only be brought out by him.

“then don’t.”

you don’t know where this sudden rush of courage came from, and it surprises the both of you. and so after a few more thrusts into you, he slows down then stops.

“what are you implying, angel?”

“exactly what I just said. if you don’t want to hold back, there is no reason you should be.”

“is that so?”

“yes,” you say, holding back a whimper as you feel his cock twitch in your walls.

“ok, I just wanted the clarification. in that case, can I take the condom off then?” he asks. his voice is firm, but somehow tender and sweet.

“jae…” you sigh, even though your heart skips a beat. “actually, I don’t know…”

“you can’t just rile me up and then back down. come on, princess. I promise I’ll be careful. I’ll pull out.”

you guys had met almost a year and a half ago through mutual friends. and then you started messing around six months into knowing each other, but you had never done it raw before with him. although you don’t hate the idea, the fact he is the one who asked first makes you nervous. the feeling might be too much; the idea of it is too much. it would be too much to bear. it would feel…intimate and romantic, almost. and that right there is something you have been trying to fight in silence for a while now.

and just as you’re about to tell him no, his long fingers trail along the spine of your back and you tremble pathetically to his touch.

“come on… you know you want it too, don’t lie to yourself.”

“well, yes, but–”

“but what?”

you don’t say anything as your mind runs in circles to find an excuse; you do really want it at your core. the thought of it also awakens something primal inside of you. that voice in the back of your head is screaming no, but everything else needs this. you need this.

“you scared? scared it’ll feel too good?” he says, rolling his hips smoothly into yours again.

“I’m not scared…hhh…” you choke, shaking as he starts hitting it from the back again.

“then what is it?”

your mind blanks other than the thought of how much better it would feel if he took it off. and just like that, you find yourself nodding your head.

“you’ll let me do that? I need a yes or a no. come on, baby,” he says, fingers tracing smooth circles onto your back.

“ok fine, n-need it off. please…” you whine as you give in.

“I got you, princess,” he soothes.

he slides out of your plush walls, and you turn your head to watch as he removes the rubber with ease. his eyes glow as he strokes himself a bit and lines himself up again at your entrance.

the tip alone has you both seeing stars, but that feeling is taken to the next level when he is all the way in—it’s cosmic.

you can’t think straight. now, it’s too much yet too little. you keep rolling your hips back to meet his thrusts because you’re so needy and desperate for more. you tilt your head back again and watch as the veins in his arms pop out as he uses force to still you from moving.

“stop it. just let me make you feel good. let me do all the work, okay?”

he slides almost all the way out—his tip latching onto your entrance—before pushing himself back with force and passion. it feels like heaven, twice as nice even, and the deep seated feeling of guilt in your gut makes it shamefully feel better. so you can’t help but fight against his strength and push yourself back onto his dick.

“I thought I told you to stop doing that,” he says, voice now stern and demanding.

he grabs a fistful of your hair into a makeshift ponytail and pulls your back up to his chest.

“isn’t that right?” he whispers seductively into your ear, licking a thick stripe along the earlobe.

“s-sorry,” you cry out.

his strokes are slow and delicious like this, but before you can really bask in the feeling, he pushes you back onto the bed, his arm somehow managing to snake around your neck like a headlock. your hands are now clutching at the sheets again, with more force if even possible. his chest is right against your back and the closeness of it all is suffocating yet so divine.

“fuck jae, s-so good…”

“god, princess. you drive me crazy, you know that, right?” he groans into your ear.

his hips now slam into yours perfectly—hitting that spot and angle rhythmically. he chokes you harder with his arm as his pace becomes faster and messier. you clench onto his dick as you feel that band in your stomach about to explode.

“let me cum inside. fuck, baby, please. let me do it,” he’s vocal in a way he never has been and it’s driving you over the edge.

you just moan, mind too fuzzy to even think or speak properly. his every move and sound feels amplified like this and it’s dizzying.

“god damn, you’re just sucking me in so good… so tight… please…” he whimpers, his pace becoming even more messier.

“jae, oh my god,” you moan.

you can barely breathe now. it all hurts so good. it’s too dangerous. it really feels like he’s making love to you and you’re scared that by letting him finish inside you, your feelings for him will become even more complicated than they already are.

“hurry up, baby. yes or no. I’m not gonna last longer the way you’re squeezing onto me. holy shit…” he chokes out.

a couple more strokes has him twitching and that makes it all the more real. your heart begins to race in a way it never has before. and soon enough, you feel that sweet and vicious euphoria rushing up to you in cathartic shivers and it lets the words roll off your tongue: “cum in me, jae. please.”

the both of you cry out as the orgasm courses through your body which leads to him shooting his warm ropes into your velvet walls.

“jae, I lo–oh my…”

jaehyun kisses your ear and continues to ride out your orgasm.

he really just fucked you so good that you almost told him that you loved him. and the sad and terrifying truth was that if you weren’t sure of that before, you were damn sure of it now. you are in love with him. he mostly likely just sees you as his booty call, and you can’t blame him because you answer every time with no hesitation.

and the worst part is that you know he will never love the real you: the one that is constantly dragged down by the demons of the past.

when he pulls out and away from you, your body immediately reacts to the lack of heat and warmth from him. the afterglow doesn’t last long before the shame pours in with no mercy.

and strangely enough, the tears start to drip down your flushed cheeks because this was it. you had given him basically all that you could. you gave him the rawest form of love you could and that still wasn’t enough for an I like you. really, what more could you expect after that? things could only go down from here.

you are ripped back into reality with the sound of him rambling.

“…all right. see what happens when you let me do my thing?” he says, so happy and sure of himself.

but your heart feels like it has shattered into a million fragments. and there was no way you could hide it. you can’t even look at him. you sniffle—tears pouring and staining your cheeks.

“uh yeah…” you mumble, wiping under your eyes with the back of your hand.

the energy in the room has shifted like a light switch, but he doesn’t take notice.

“you need to go, jae,” you whisper.

“what was that, angel?”

“you need to go,” you say, voice still a quiet whisper.

“uhhh, is everything ok? I thought–”

you turn to look at him now and he is taken aback by the pain written all over your face.

“I said you need to go. now!” you raise your voice.

“what’s wrong? was it something just now? did I go too far?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it right now. please… just leave…”

you wouldn’t want to see him ever again, actually you couldn’t stand the thought of having to pretend around him anymore knowing you couldn't be his and he couldn’t be yours.

“princess…” he sighs, placing his hand on your shoulder.

but you nudge it away and start to gather his clothes.

“what the hell, y/n? talk to me!”

the sudden switch to your name at this moment makes you even angrier for some reason.

“I need you to go! what about that don’t you understand?”

you throw his clothes at him, but his scent—the overuse of cologne to mask the stench of weed—bounces back to you anyway. they fall and scatter all over his feet and he stares at you in disbelief.

you knew you were being dramatic, but you couldn’t help it: you felt hurt. and most of all, just plain stupid for thinking there was even a slight possibility for something more to happen between the two of you—a future.

he sighs as he dresses himself lazily, not even bothering to buckle his belt.

“tell you what… what I don’t understand is why you always keep making things harder for me. just why can’t you open yourself up to me emotionally. WHAT is going on that you feel the need to shut down like this?”

“oh so now I’m a chore for you?”

“that is NOT what I am saying.”

“it is what you’re implying. I’m too much for you, aren’t I?”

“right now, yes, you are. but I need you to help me here. just TALK to me.”

your mind doesn’t register that last part, only caught up with his yes. you are too much for him. you already felt like a burden to everyone and everything in this damn world but to hear it vocalized from him even in the slightest had your thoughts reeling into dangerous territory.

you could not form the words, instead choking on your sobs.

“y/n…”

you cry as you feel so many emotions—all these small feelings you had ignored—crash over you like an unforgiving, powerful wave.

“hey, I–”

“just get the fuck out!” you cut him off.

your words are charged with anger and you just want to scream at him more for being so stupid and so beautiful.

he sighs again. his eyes are now glowing with a certain sadness and concern that makes the regret all the more soul-crushing. why couldn’t he just love you back? why couldn’t he just fix you?

he gets closer to you so he can place a tender kiss on your forehead. he strokes his thumb on your cheek, like he normally does, but this time it makes you feel sick to your stomach.

“just talk to me whenever you’re ready, princess. I’ll be waiting,” he says.

he walks out of your room and slams the door on the way out. the sound echoes into your heart and soul. and you cry harder than before because you knew deep down that you weren’t going to talk to him again. ever.

and loneliness, then, watches you from the nearest shadow, waiting like a ravenous predator.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

OCTOBER, WEEK 1, THE NEXT DAY

*jae <3 sent you $150

jae <3 : you know, for the plan B, just in case ;)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

NOVEMBER

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

DECEMBER

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅

JANUARY, WEEK 2

nostalgia is one hell of a drug, and also one hell of a bitch when it comes to letting go. there’s a ton of clothes in your closet that don’t even fit you or you just wouldn’t wear anymore—your taste has changed, or rather, grown. yet for some reason you have it all stashed in there like some hoarder on a television show. it’s an amalgamation of distinct eras of your life and memories you don’t want—and also too lazy—to throw away. nonetheless, you cannot find that one damn jacket you swore was in there. you think to yourself that perhaps, just maybe, it is deep in your hamper full of dirty clothes that you haven’t touched in weeks.

you decide you need to leave your house for something other than work and unavoidable errands. staying cooped up inside has done more damage than you’d like to admit, especially when the days are like mush and blend together. this monotonous excuse of an existence is a curse, truly.

not bothering to rummage through the mess, you just pick the first jacket you can find and put it on even though it does not match your outfit at all.

it’s late in the afternoon, and it’s only been one hour since you woke up and got out of bed.

through your window, you take notice of the dull, cloudy sky and know it’s going to be that annoying, uncomfortable type of chilly and cold outside, but you have your mind settled on going to the park because god knows you need to touch some grass and reconnect with nature.

you slightly regret brushing off your friends who asked to hangout, but you didn’t want to drag their moods down with how miserable you were. you had to clear your mind—rid it of all reminders of him.

this glumness has just consumed you with a vengeance like no other.

and inevitably, it follows you to the car as you put the keys into the ignition and then drive to the park as if on autopilot. it follows you as you get out and find a bench to sit your pathetic butt on. it then sinks its razor–sharp teeth into you as your eyes scan your surroundings and realize you are alone.

there are kids playing with one another, couples walking together, and just all types of people who just don’t look empty. you know you shouldn’t generalize that because these people could just be putting on a facade for all you know. what stings, though, is how you no longer have the energy to put one on yourself. there’s no bone in your body that has the ability to portray such a performance anymore.

instead, you try to focus on something else, like the trees or the stray dogs running around, but you can’t ignore the obvious: you still feel like shit.

you can’t help but ruminate over the fact that you feel so…unhappy, and a large part of that just comes from loneliness. also, you just feel stuck, like there is no moving forward from this because this sadness will never let go of its vicious grasp on you.

it’s like all the small and minor feelings you shoved aside were now majorly affecting every part of your soul, body, and mind.

there are just so many things to be disappointed about in your life and it is killing you—eating away at you inside-out. a single, stupid teardrop drips down your cheek because apparently even that is all your body can muster.

so after a few excruciating minutes of people-watching and the endless screaming in your mind, you decide that this trip was for nothing.

you don’t bother to pick up something to eat on the way home. you’ve lost your appetite.

and just when you think your day couldn’t get any more sour, it does. the cherry on top is that your car stops mid-driveway as it just shuts off. it had been needing repairs that you had been putting off and it came right back to bite in this vulnerable time.

you just groan and debate killing yourself right then and there, but then decide you should just masturbate and go to sleep.

you walk into your home like a ghost, change into comfy clothes, and hop into bed.

as you log into your second twitter account, a caller notification pops up on your screen. your heart sinks to your stomach as you end up clicking it on accident and realize exactly who is calling: jae <3.

you hadn’t exactly brought it upon yourself to block his number despite the few times he tried reaching out throughout the months you haven’t spoken.

you freeze when you hear some rustling and then his familiar, warm voice speaking: “y/n?? you picked up! oh my… I–is it ok if I talk. o-or do you wanna go first? well, we don’t have to right now if you don’t want that, we can meet up–”

beep. you hang up.

you just can’t. hearing him so happy and excited made you want to run back into his arms, but you knew that couldn’t be a reality. even if he did like you back, there was no way in hell he would love the dark parts of you, the parts that made you feel so aimless and eternally dejected. he said it himself: it was too much.

you couldn’t do that to him.

a few seconds later, you get a text that reads talk to me, please :(

and then another call, but you don’t pick up this time. although, you almost do, because he could fix your car—and you miss everything about him—but the car is the most important part, obviously.

after, you stalk all his socials and let regret do its usual bidding.

the night ends with loneliness steeped in exhaustion that not even a scrolling-through-twitter-bookmarks session could remedy.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

JANUARY, WEEK 3

it’s that damned time of the year where it rains a bit too much for your liking because now you don’t really know if it’s right to blame the weather for being extremely sad, glum, and horny but you do it anyway.

and naturally, you stare at the ceiling with empty eyes as you ponder about life or whatever (and mainly him, as always, it seems). the television plays Jersey Shore in the background, yet even that can’t conceal the incessant trickle of the rain and the downpour hitting your roof and outside your window. you want to scream or die or kill somebody; any of those sound good right about now. you’re broke as hell—bank account barely skating above the negatives—so you can’t order anything to your house and you’ve used your vibrator too many times to count that the feeling it used to give you is no longer the same. there’s no point. ugh. you hate it here.

but it’s like he can sense your distress and almost immediately after groaning into the loneliness of your room, your phone dings. you pick up the phone from under your blanket and see the screen lit up with a text message from a certain someone you’ve been avoiding.

jae <3 : you doing anything rn princess? I wanna come over. I haven’t seen you in so long… I really want to talk to you.

and that is all it takes for the resolve and walls you built up to come crumbling down.

you bite your lip to hide the cheeky grin that creeps onto your face like an idiot. damn it. you fight the urge to reply back immediately so as to not seem desperate.

yes, he’s sent a string of messages over the course of time you’ve been ignoring him, but this one feels different, and maybe that is just because you want it to be.

anyway, his dick could fix at least one of your problems right now so after waiting for what felt like forever, you hit him back.

y/n: just chilling by myself. hungry. pls bring food.

you were rotting in bed in pajamas you’ve worn for a bit over two days so you immediately scramble out of the sheets to get yourself dolled up for him because for some reason you feel the need to impress him.

it isn’t until half an hour later that jaehyun shows up at your doorstep, soaked from the rain, holding grocery bags in his hands. his dimples still show even as he smiles with semi-pursed lips.

you stare at him for a while, bewildered at how even more gorgeous and stunning he seems, and honestly holding yourself back from just latching on him like a rabid animal.

“can I come in or…are you just gonna keep looking at me like a deer in headlights?” he says, smug.

you snatch the bags from him with a swiftness that makes your emotions of lust and embarrassment all the more palpable, and head towards your kitchen table to set them down. he giggles slightly at this and he takes off his sopping wet jacket, hanging it up on the coat rack you have in the entry hallway. and then he kicks off his shoes with ease which leaves them on the floor scattered. he drops his keys on the counter with a loud bang, running his fingers through his hair after. he sighs loudly and it echoes throughout the room and you can feel it within your chest. it’s all so…safe and comfortable, and maybe that’s because he’s done this many times before. and it feels like nothing has changed even though you haven’t spoken to him in months.

well that is until you snoop through the bags and peep a bouquet of flowers—your favorite ones at that.

“jae, what is this for?” you ask.

you turn your face to look at him, thinking he’s still lurking by the entrance but he’s actually standing right behind you.

your face is now inches away from his chest. and you can breathe in his musk. he reeks of cologne and weed in the best way possible. you stumble and bump your back onto a chair as he reaches over your side.

“I saw them and I thought of you,” he mumbles, grabbing all the other bags.

he drags his feet to the kitchen and unloads all the groceries onto the counter.

it’s so subtle that you almost don’t catch it but the tops of his ears turn a bit red after he says it. it’s cute, and your heart flutters at how he remembers the little things about you.

“well thank you. they’re really pretty.”

the plastic bag crumples as you take the bouquet out and you dive your nose in to take in their sweet aroma.

“I’ll be right back,” you say before heading to your basement to find a vase to put them in, and also to cool off. maybe it was the time apart, but your mind could not function properly around him. it was like every quality about him became ten times more attractive and enticing.

you flip the light switch on and the light flickers twice before giving out. you’ve been meaning to replace the light bulb but you keep forgetting (or rather pushing it off). and now it’s caught up to you like many other things and feelings.

you use your phone’s flashlight to guide you along the mess that you created and you finally find what you're looking for, only it’s at the top of some shelf that you can’t really reach. there’s a small ladder that’s hiding in the small crevice between the shelf and the wall. but still, even after using it and taking all three of its steps, you can barely grasp the vase with your fingertips and you slide it closer and closer towards you before it finally lands in your hands safely.

you’re on your tippy toes at this point, legs trembling. and as soon as you’re ready to get down, it happens in an instant: you lose your balance.

there’s no sugarcoating it. there’s no saving grace and you fall backwards onto your ass. even though it takes the brunt of tumble, your hands fall victim to the vase and its shattered pieces.

maybe it was the noise and the commotion or maybe you let out a scream without realizing it, but jaehyun bolts into the basement not even seconds later.

through the slivers of light radiating from your phone, you can barely peep the blood leaking from your palm and his horrified face.

“a-are you ok?” he asks.

before you can even answer, he picks you up as if you were a doll and rushes you over to the bathroom where he sits you down on the toilet seat.

he already knows where everything is so he pulls out the first aid kit from the cabinet underneath the sink and tends to your bloody hands immediately.

honestly, the cuts weren’t anything major but your heart starts to beat like crazy at how worried he is yet he remains calm and careful in taking care of you.

“this is going to hurt, princess. I’m sorry,” he says before softly dabbing a wet cloth onto your skin.

you wince in pain and he reacts by holding onto your arm and rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.

“shhh… it’s ok. I’ll make you feel better soon.”

he does this for a while and eventually reaches for the bandages.

but the whole time you found yourself staring at him in awe. there was a war going on in your mind. you analyzed his every move: the way he sighed or played with his bottom by nibbling on it or how he’d sneak a glance at you with so much worry. all you wanted was to crawl into his skin and be inside of him to know his thoughts and what he was thinking about you.

he places the final bandage and looks up at you with tender eyes before averting his gaze.

“thank you, jae…” you mumble.

you can feel your heart about to just slide out of your chest and onto the tile floor. the insane pace it’s beating at won’t stop.

“why didn’t you ask me for help? I thought you were just going to your room or something. I didn’t know you were going to do that and almost kill yourself.”

“ok, well I thought I had it, but I guess not. I just needed a moment to myself anyway.”

“a moment to yourself? but I just got here?”

“you don’t understand. it’s just… never mind,” you sigh.

“what? you don’t want to talk about that right now either?” he says, tone tinged with slight resentment.

you stand up from the toilet seat because the air in the room quickly is injected with tension, and it becomes stifling and suffocating. how else are you supposed to say that him getting you flowers had you riled up? and how are you supposed to tell him that being around him is too much because you’re hopelessly in love with him and want to be more than just whatever you guys have going on?

perhaps silence and secrecy are the better options.

“ok, whatever,” he says. “that’s not the point. I was right there, you could have just told me to do it. you know I’ll always be there for you, even the small things.”

“I know, jae.”

“ok, so you do know that?”

“well…”

you have a feeling you know where this is going and you want to die.

“then how come you’ve been ignoring me? all my calls and messages… I know you’ve been getting them. and you fucking hung up on me the other day too? do you know how happy I was when you answered?” he says, anger bleeding into hurt.

“I’m really sorry-”

“I’m not stupid y/n. I don’t like when you hide things from me, you know that.”

at this point, you make way towards the door but he holds onto your arm with a vice grip and shoves you back onto the toilet seat. he uses his body as a barrier so you can’t leave and you know there’s no use trying to get through.

“are you trying to make me bleed again?” you ask angrily, trying to mask how exposed and scared you feel.

“oh, don’t be dramatic, y/n. you’re not leaving until you tell me why you’ve been leaving me in the dust.”

“you’re the one being dramatic! just let me out of here!”

“I’ll let you out when I get what I want.”

“why does it matter to you anyway?”

“because I care about you!”

“you’re only saying that because you want to get between my legs.”

“that’s not true at all.”

“is it not? because that’s what it feels like.”

“you’re not being fair. let me remind you that it was me who’s been reaching out and you were the one who decides to respond after weeks of radio silence. how do you think that makes me feel?”

“I don’t know…you could’ve tried harder,” you mumble, already resigning to the fact he had already won this mini argument.

there was no point anyway. he had every right to be angry but you just hated confrontation especially when it came to him.

you were just too flustered and emotional now. you wanted to confess your feelings to him but didn’t want everything you had to collapse. you can’t look at him in the face now.

“y/n…look, I do care about you. so fucking much, actually and you have no idea.”

“jae, I care about you too but can we just not do this right now?”

“how else am I supposed to show you that I love you when you shut me out? you don’t know how much it killed me that you acted like I don’t exist to you.”

your whole body freezes at that stupid four letter word. it sounds so pretty coming from his tongue, but you don’t know if he means it the way you want it to.

he kneels on the ground so he is at eye level with you. he starts to cup his hands on your face.

“did I do something wrong? that’s all I want to know so I can fix it or try to do better.”

there’s no point in hiding anymore. when you open your eyes which have been shut closed, you see that hurt is written all over his face and it’s all your fault. your absence in his life has affected him just like it has affected you.

he just looks so sad yet so pretty and you want him to hold you and tell you it’ll all be okay. you want to kiss him, touch him, feel him, and most of all, make love to him.

“I love you, jae. I love you so much and I don’t know, every second I’m with you it gets worse because I know I won’t be more to you. I need you in a way that you can’t even imagine.”

“y/n, I-”

“LET ME FINISH!” you cut him off.

he looks taken aback at first, but then just gives a weak nod and smile to let you continue.

you start rambling: “I… I just am going through a lot mentally too and I didn’t want to ruin what we had by saying anything so for some reason it just made more sense to ignore you and hope that it would go away and-”

all of a sudden, jaehyun smashes his lips onto yours.

it’s passionate, more fervor than usual. it’s like he’s putting his all into this kiss and you just melt into him, fingers running through his hair as his hands travel to your back to pull you in closer.

“I… love you too…y/n…” he moans in between kisses.

when you both pull away, he starts to plant soft kisses along your neck that begin to travel up to your ear.

“do you need me to show you how much I love you, princess?” he whispers.

“p-please, jae… I want you…”

with no hesitation, he carries you into your room.

he then sits on the edge of the bed as you stand before him. the both of you scramble to get some clothes off and then latch onto each other like magnets—skin on skin, lips on lips.

like clockwork, you straddle your legs over his lap. you roll your hips into his and whimper at the feeling: your bare folds rubbing against his boxer briefs. one of his strong hands holds onto your lower back as the other supports the back of your neck.

the kissing is laced with carnal desire, as if you both wanted to eat the other whole. your hips move faster in response and you're both moaning into each other’s mouth. you can feel how hard he is and also how your wetness stains and seeps into the fabric.

he pulls away to trail kisses down your neck, leaving his signature love bites and marks.

once he reaches your chest, he places soft kisses before unclasping your bra like he has done many times before. but this time, you notice the look of lust and love in his eyes as they scan your body. maybe it’s always been like that and you hadn’t noticed it. your heart swells at this and you caress his cheek.

his mouth then attacks your chest with passion and you arch your back to push your body more into his. your hips are now moving in sweet circles and your mind is clouded with how good it all feels—how much fulfilling it is now that you know that he loves you back.

“my princess, so beautiful,” he coos, before grabbing you and pinning your back against the bed.

as your back lays falt, he trails kisses down your chest, stomach, and around your plush thighs. his face then makes contact with your pussy and he watches it with hungry eyes. your body quite literally trembles just knowing he is just mere centimeters away from tasting you.

“you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this,” he confesses.

he notices you bite your lip in anticipation. the adrenaline courses through your veins as pleasure awaits you.

“maybe, I should just… I don’t know… not do this and let you see what it feels like to be left wanting.”

“baby, I’m really sorry. please don’t tease me right now,” you whine.

“you deserve this, just a little bit,” he says before blowing air right onto your dripping folds.

you clench on nothing as he smirks at you.

“I hate you,” you moan.

“I thought you loved me?”

“two things can be true at once.”

“say you love me or else I’m not going through with this.”

“but–”

“SAY it.”

you forgot how commanding he could be in bed and you clenched again at nothing.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says, content.

and just like that, he dives right into tasting you finally. the months apart had done a number on you because his mouth felt infinitely better than it ever did. it was like his thirst hadn’t been quenched in years.

it felt spiritual, as if his movements came straight from the heavens above and all you could do was lay there and take in all of his love—and anger.

it didn’t take long before you began grasping onto the locks of his now longer hair, shoving him in further to reach your high faster.

however, he pulls away with a quickness. you groan at the feeling of pleasure being snatched away from you.

“sorry, angel, but I need you to cum on my cock this time… need to feel you unwind all over me.”

you watch and rub your legs together as he slides his briefs down just enough to reveal his pretty cock, pink tip glistening with love—all because of you and all for you.

you whine when he starts to coat himself in your arousal, his thick length catching against your clit as he rubs against your folds with tenderness.

“jae…”

“feels good, yeah?”

“fuck… need you now, jae,” you whine.

“you ready?”

“yes. only and always for you.”

“that’s my baby.”

your hands grip your bed sheets as he slides inside of you. you’ll honestly never get used to just how big he is. even when he bottoms out, it takes time for the pain to eventually blossom into pleasure as he moves his hips rhymically into yours.

it’s not rough and needy but more soft and careful. he really takes his time to feel all of you and give it to you so good. your hands rub and down his slender back as he makes the most intimate and precious love to you. and you love how his gold chain brushes up against your face with every delicious stroke.

it has you so weak and your head feels so fuzzy—the feeling is indescribable.

“my pretty angel, my girl… taking me so well. fuck, you were made for me.”

you can only offer a loud moan in response and your walls clench harder onto him automatically.

“keep doing that and I’m gonna cum inside you, baby. you want that?”

“yes, baby. oh my god, yes please. I want it so fucking bad.”

“then take it.”

he slips two of his fingers into your mouth and you suck on them with all your might. his eyes watch you in amazement and passion.

your body trembles as he continuously hits that sweet spot.

and just like that, you feel the euphoria coming to you in waves. he knows it and laughs softly, removing his soaked fingers from you mouth.

“you’re almost there, angel?”

“y-yes,” you moan.

“I can feel it. I know you’ve missed this. isn’t that right?”

“missed you so much…” you mewl, feeling tears about to form in your eyes.

“missed you too, baby. fuck…” he says and gives your forehead a quick, reassuring peck.

you claw your nails into his back as he picks up the pace—to help you reach that pleasure point. you wrap your legs around him instinctively and succumb to the overwhelming feeling of his love.

“I’m coming, ahh. I’m…”

you scream as the pleasure burns all over your body. jaehyun doesn’t falter for a second, only going faster, even though his own orgasm follows immediately after—his warm load filling you up as you finish all over him.

“so…good…that’s it…” he chokes out.

“I love you!” you scream.

“love you… I love you,” he whimpers as he slows down.

you’re extremely sensitive at this point and you whine as jaehyun refuses to stop, still rutting his hips into you: pushing in every last drop.

“I’m not done yet. you’ve denied me perfection for so long.”

“jae…baby…”

“shhh…angel, just need you to take it. can you do that for me?”

“y-yeah.”

“good girl, that’s a good girl,” he coos.

all of a sudden, his body shifts as he pushes your legs back to your chest, guiding you guys into a mating press position.

“it h-hurtss…” you babble.

you felt like your body was going to snap in half, truly.

“I know, baby. but it’ll feel better, you just have to trust me.”

“ok, jae.”

“you’re perfect,” he says. “you’re my baby, right?”

he then pistons his hips into you with force and you just moan quietly: “I-I’m your baby.”

“I know that’s right,” he says, letting out a breathy moan. “open up for me.”

you do as he says and your jaw falls slack open. a lengthy string of spit drops into your mouth and you just take it.

his cock feels excruciatingly perfect like this. he is so deep inside of you and you feel like his love is going to suffocate you in the most tender way.

“you’re doing great, angel. just give me all your stress. let it all out.”

his lips find purchase on yours and you melt into him again.

your mind now is only full of thoughts of him, but positive ones for once. you feel… fulfilled and alive again. like this, he is taking off so much weight off your shoulders.

and thus, you cannot help how healing this feels and the tears that drip down your face as a result. jaehyun kisses them as they fall and doesn’t let up his pace.

“you’re mine.. my girl. you belong to no one else but me. right, pretty?”

“I’m yours,” you mewl.

“say it again.”

“yours, jae, yours,” you babble, now feeling overwhelmed by the pressure in your core about to snap.

“can you open for me like you did before, baby?” he asks. and you immediately drop your jaw to invite his spit in again.

“you’re MY girl. this is MY pussy. you are MINE. f-finally…” he groans, emphasizing those specific words with harder thrusts.

“I love you, jae. fuck, I love you so much. I can’t live without you. I want…” you whine. you can’t finish the sentence from just how good it all feels.

“say you’re mine again, p-please. I’m gonna-”

“I’M Y-YOURS,” you scream as the orgasm suddenly unfolds with searing heat all over your body.

your arms and legs latch around him to keep him in place, to stop him from moving. the clench of your walls does him in instantaneously. you feel so full of him as he unloads himself in you. his pace stops immediately as you suck him dry for all he’s worth.

the amount of I love you’s exchanged in these moments were too many to count, but you knew you didn’t want him out of you any time soon.

“can we stay like this, please?” you whisper, kissing his neck. “I feel safe and warm.”

“if that’s what you want, then I’m all for it,” jaehyun says reassuringly.

you hold each other, bodies so intimately connected together, as sleep eventually washes over the both of you.

the night ends with love, this time, steeped with passion and desire.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

JANUARY, WEEK 3, THE NEXT DAY

—MINI EPILOGUE—

it is three in the afternoon when you wake up. jaehyun is nowhere to be seen in the room.

immediately, you jump out of bed to look for him, heart already sinking to the floor. but those feelings of fear vanish when you see him standing pretty in your kitchen, wearing an apron you forgot you even owned, cooking up something that smelled utterly delectable.

you basically run over to him and hug him from behind, pressing the side of your face against his back.

“you scared me.”

“I did? I’m sorry about that.”

“I thought you left me.”

“I would never do that, not now, when I finally have you for myself.”

his words are reassuring and comforting. maybe that is what you needed in your life.

you find out later that he fixed your car that morning and cleaned up the glass pieces in the garage from the broken vase. and you realize that even though he cannot necessarily “fix” you or your problems entirely, he wants to help you get better. and you shouldn’t run away and deny the support because you would do the same for him.

there are small feelings in this world that will eat you up and spit you right out, but there are also small feelings that, over time, will help you become a better person. the key is to recognize each one and feel them all the way through: let them run their course. with jaehyun, you were able to deal with those emotions and feelings together.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

a/n: thank you for getting through this mess of a fic oh my god. sorry for the rushed and corny ass ending (and the lack of editing). but this has been sitting in my drafts since february and I just want to be rid of it.

I have just been going through so much lately and it's taking everything in me to not just end my shit likeee. on a sort of brighter note, though, I am officially done with community college, and I got into all the schools I applied to as transfer student. and the reason I say sort of is because my dream school is just too expensive even with max financial aid and I'll be 18kin debt by the time I graduate (UCLA pleeeekkk give me more moneyyyy.) so I have now 20 days to figure out what the FUCK I'm gonna do. so that was my inspiration to churn out the rest of this. like i said, VERY self indulgent like girl gtfo.

also who peeped that twilight-esque time skip LMFAOOOO

anyways let me stop being big and rude. please lmk if you liked this or if you have any requests (my inbox is always open!) love yall <3

190 notes · View notes

coconutdays · 6 months

Text

going crazy

s. your boyfriend, handsome and secure suguru geto, doesn't get jealous

w.c. 4.8k

w. fem! reader, biker!geto! x reader , fluff!, smut!

a/n: based on my seat taker biker!geto au! also I feel this does not live up to seat taker! but I tried my best! so I hope you can still enjoy! likes reblogs and comments r always appreciated to know y’all liked it!!!

your boyfriend does not have a single jealous bone in his body. it’s convenient you suppose?

you’ve heard nightmares of insecure men who have to know where there girlfriends are every second of every hour, the direction they’re even going to utter a breath in. the occasional story of a girl who can’t speak to any men whatsoever because her boyfriend will berate her for doing so.

although you do always keep suguru in the loop about what you’re doing and don’t really talk to guys because at the end of the day, more often than not, they always do not plan on just being your friend, he never expected those things out of you. It was a silent form of showing your respect for him. and he did the same out of instinct too, first too.

but aside from that, he doesn’t show any jealousy.

there was a time he even tried to set you up with toji zenin when he was still crushing on you.

your boyfriend is a little peculiar, you’re very well aware of that, but you find his confidence in himself sexy. because you couldn’t look anywhere else if you wanted to. he was handsome, his face chiseled so prettily it was painful. his smooth voice that always had you reeling to get him to talk more. and his spine tattoo that always made you blush at the sight of it befriending your scratch marks after a particularly rough night,

so you don’t care about the way you dress, because he won’t control what you wear. in fact, it’s one of the things you both love about each other, a recent discovery now that you’ve been dating for a month. suguru is an avid fan of the way you dress, relishing in what new outfit he��ll see you in whenever he sees you that day, and if not possible, asking for a picture. and you love how he loves it. appreciating the fact that he loves when you wear booby shirts to campus or dates with him or particularly tight jeans that attract eyes aside from his, but are worn for the sole purpose of serving cunt–and riling your boyfriend up.

it all comes together to why you wear the dress you do tonight to go clubbing with him and some friends. it’s honestly the hottest thing suguru will have seen you in so far. yes, your previous halloween costumes were something alright, but this…was different. halloween was like a month ago and the outfits for those events were meant to be slutty, purely slutty. this look was meticulously planned by you the moment you ordered the dress online. the sheer dress and its sparkles had been running across your mind that entire week of shipping with the perfect sultry way you planned to do your hair and makeup.

you

hey can we carpool later tonight, my dress isnt motorcycle proof :/

suguru

sure princess. can i get a peek?

you

don’t feel like it hehe wait for it sugu <3

suguru

tease

any other time, he would’ve more than likely have gotten his peek at your outfit, you are weak to his demands naturally, but this was something he genuinely would have to wait for. pictures would not do you justice and you wanted to catch your boyfriends raw reaction when he saw the look for the first time .

and you were right.

when he went up to your apartment to pick you up and you opened the door, the reaction was worth the wait. the constant warmth your boyfriend’s gaze always held fell the moment his eyes landed on you and took a moment to breathe you in.

you saw his pupils dart to your cleavage first, staring for a hard second, then to the tightness against your waist and hips bringing attention to your figure. the small quirk of his eyebrow seconds within that let you know he spotted the thong hugging your body under the sheer dress. he did a once over of your legs, looking at what shoes you were wearing, before he brought his eyes up to look at your face again.

he doesn’t say anything, instantly moving forward and getting rid of the space between the both of you to take your head in his hands and plant his lips on yours. you press a hand against his chest when you feel him swipe his tongue across the top of your mouth so hungrily.

“you’re going to kiss off my lipgloss sugu.” you giggle, heaving a little as you press your forehead against his, blinking up happily at him.

his stare is firm as his blown up pupils stare back into you, “sorry pretty girl, couldn’t help myself.”

“and why’s that hm?” you bite your lip through your smile, eagerly waiting for his answer, still forehead to forehead with him, his hands still holding you in place.

his hair is in that half up half down duo you go so feral for, you realize this detail when he says, “you know why.”

“no I don’t,” you drag on, a teasing lilt in your voice

“because,” he drags one of his hands down to caress your neck softly with his thumb, you can see a slight crease in his eyelids at your playfulness, “my girlfriend is trying to get away with first degree murder right now.”

“you like the dress?” you give him a toothy smile and you can slightly catch his gaze turn hungry at the sight of it

suguru suddenly raises you up by clasping his arms behind you, below your butt and on your thigh, so you’re above him when he looks at you lovingly, “like is an understatement.”

“well i like your hair today,” you compliment him, still giggly

“yeah?” he smiles, “i’m glad.”

it’s your first time ever going to the club with suguru, so there’s some sort of powerful feeling lingering when you enter the loud building holding hands with him. you’re going in belonging to someone and so is he, as opposed to other people going in and hoping to catch a body tonight or at least a good grind on the dancefloor–satoru cough cough.

the white haired maniac’s influence gets all of you a vip table with liquor already waiting for you and when you get there, suguru sits and plants you on his lap, arms loosely wrapped around your waist.

It’s when you look forward, you see toji zenin give you a quick once over from where he’s seated near satoru. and you ignore it, you always do. he’s never made an advance on you ever since you and suguru became a thing, he’s respectful of the relationship, but his eyes can never lie, he’s into you. it’s why you’ve never uttered a word to him and why he doesn’t either. and you can’t really blame him if the purpose of tonight's look was to turn all heads, not just your boyfriend’s.

“you smell good baby,” suguru mutters into your ear as he brushes a hair away from your face, “are you using the perfume i got you?”

you wrap your arms around his shoulders when you respond with a nod of your head and, “yeah. I finally ran out of my old one.”

“good girl.” he smiles appreciatively before placing a tender kiss on your neck

the softness of it makes you giggle a little and crane your neck a little, suguru pinches your side to tease you for it.

it’s when a certain lullaby of a song comes on that your ears perk up and your boyfriend observes the reaction, looking up at you and rubbing circles into your waist, “what’s up baby?”

within an instant all the girls at your table begin to get up and rush to the dance floor and you turn to suguru, already starting to unwrap his arms from your waist.

“i have to go dance this babe,” you say hurriedly, like a little kid leaving their mom the moment they see the bouncy castle go up.

suguru can say nothing before he watches you run off to join the other girls on the dance floor, eyebrows raised in amusement at your antics then in reaction to your immediate inclination to start dancing.

you look pretty, he thinks as he reaches over to serve himself a glass of whiskey.

and he continues to think it as he ‘talks’ to his friends, nodding and giving small mhms when all he’s really doing is watching you live it up at the center of the club.

you’re ethereal, the only star in that murky puddle of bodies. maybe your dress is part of the reason for all that shine and glow you’re giving off, but nothing beats the pretty little smile on your face that says you’re having a good time. it’s turning him on to be honest. he always wants to shove himself inside of you when you bear that toothy smile at him.

and other people think the same, he notes.

he’s always seen the stares, he knows you’re a sight to behold. there hasn’t been a day where he isn’t aware that so many other people want you. he knew it when you were merely the smart, hot girl he had a crush on his lit class, with so many other guys obviously paying a little more attention when it was your turn to speak, and he knows it even more now with your male following on social media and the way he constantly gets sized up just for being next to you. for fuck's sake he's heard toji zenin talk about how bad you are before he knew about your thing with suguru at the halloween party, hell, he still catches the frat president unable to control the way his eyes eat you up when you're near.

“done already?” satoru asks haughtily when he sees all of the girls that went to dance come back heaving a little

it’s been an hour since they all left at the start of that first song.

“y/n’s still there though,” one of them breathes, taking satoru’s drink from him, “she does not stop.”

“yeah, she doesn’t,” suguru laughs a little, looking back at you, still as energetic as when you first got there.

fuck, you're beautiful.

speaking of before,

he’s painfully more aware of it when he notices the number of eyes gravitating towards you from the dancefloor, tables, and the bar.

it’s like a bunny in a room full of wolves. or those scenes where scooby and shaggy are in a dark room and a thousand red eyes pop up to blink at them. the eyes to you ratio is beginning to get a little mind boggling now that he sees it in a real life setting. this is not the handful of guys checking you out when you go to the library with him or the nth guy staring at you when you walk past with your boyfriend next to you. this is a huge club with you in the middle and catching the eye of almost every guy in here, most of whom come to this place with plans of taking a girl home or putting moves on her.

the thought manifests itself when a blonde frat bro walks up to you and tries to dance with you. suguru’s heart stops a little for some reason. he’s seen guys come up to you before, actually talking to you and trying to get your number, so he shouldn’t feel this irked when he knows the guy is going to be disappointed by your answer. he actually wants to go up to the guy and beat his face in.

the surge of pride that courses through his body is immense when he sees you put a hand between you and the guy and you make an annoyed face, all before strutting off and making your way back to the table.

he manspreads a little more for you to sit between his legs, draping one arm on your thigh, the other holding onto his whiskey.

“a guy tried to dance with me,” you huff when you sit down, reaching for suguru’s drink, which he hands over without a second thought, now using the other free hand to fully hug you.

“I saw,” he says, perching his chin your shoulder, watching as you take a sip of the whiskey and cradle the cup in your hands.

“dance with me,” you turn to look at him and pout, “i don’t want guys coming up to me.”

“but you look so good rejecting them.” suguru teases, smirking a little at you

when your face deapans, he laughs and hugs you tighter, “we’ll go in a bit. rest your pretty feet for a second, don’t want them to tire out.”

“okay,” you slump into his hold, pouting

and suguru did keep his promise, like always. he took you dancing after a few minutes of rest and letting you drink the rest of his whiskey.

he protected you from any other guys trying to come up to you, evident in the way no guys even dared get close from a ten feet radius.

he kept you close and let you dance with him, hands appreciatively holding onto you when you pressed your body against his. it was much different to the dancing from that first time at satoru’s party, he was really holding onto you this time. his hands always found your ass, your hips, even the underside of your boobs during every second of every song.

and suguru isn’t a jealous guy, so it was a little weird to you when you saw him notice a guy oogling you and he immediately pulled you in to makeout with him on the dancefloor. it was unlike any other makeout session you had ever had with him before. he was gripping your ass while his other hand held your neck, that wasn’t new, he always did that, but his energy about it was so…all consuming.

all you know, is that instantly had you horny and you couldn’t help the mewl you let out after he squeezed you in his hold.

“let’s go,” he spoke a bit tensely into your ear so you could hear him past the music.

and you were never one to go against him because everything suguru did always made sense and worked for you, so you nodded mindlessly and said, “okay.”

when you got to suguru’s apartment, he immediately pushed you against the door and resumed the makeout session he had started at the club. one of his hands was planted against the door while the other roughly gripped your waist to keep you close to him.

“If you ever see toji, i want you to run the other direction,” he spoke ominously against your lips

the command had you furrowing your eyebrows, you mean of course yes you'd do that, but you never would’ve thought he’d ask it from you. he never really cared to address your actions when it came towards other guys. suguru wasn’t ever jealous…nonetheless, you agree meekly, taken aback by his roughness, “okay.”

all your boyfriend did in response was let out a gruff sound of acknowledgement before pressing his body further against yours and beginning to tug your dress off. he started by pushing down the straps, then pushing the upper half down, including your strapless bra until your tits popped out.

he pushed both of them together the moment they peeked out and then let a glob of spit drop down onto one of your nipples rather obscenely before he went down to mouth at that same breast. it had you keening, you could feel your thong becoming nonexistent with the way you were starting to drench through it.

a bite from suguru had you squeaking before he continued his ministrations on your other breast while his hands worked on pushing the rest of your dress all the way down, even your thong since it caught onto the tight material of the dress.

you were left completely naked in front of him now and he manhandled you by suddenly picking you up and pinning you against the wall next to the door. he let one hand hold one of your legs to his waist, while the other went under and quickly swiped a finger across your folds with ease due to the wetness

“so easy baby,” he muttered against your lips before plunging a finger all the way in and curving it upwards

“you’re being mean,” you complain, feeling completely flustered at his brash actions

“what’s so mean about making you feel good hm?” he leans back to get a good look at you when he plunges another finger in and starts to push them in and out quickly, watching as your eyebrows knit and you start to mewl, “atta girl.”

“nothing,” you mumble, brainless as you wrap your arms around his neck and hook him in closer with your legs, “ow!”

he started adding a third finger when he felt like you were starting to open up more, however your small complaint started dying into a moan when he increased his pace with the third finger.

“that’s a lot sugu,” you heave through delirious breaths, flustered at the fact that he was staring so intensely at how you were sucking him in

your comment had him finally looking up at you and you dont know if you’d rather he go back to staring at your pussy, because he was giving that same intense stare to you now. the all heavy pressure of his gaze was entirely being directed at your own eyes now, and how could you meet that same gaze equally when he was three fingers into you and making you moan like a slut.

suguru might have granted you a quick mercy when he leaned against you, quickening the pace of his fingers so you could get louder, and breathed into your ear, muttering lowly, “my cock’s a lot more than three fingers but you always cream all over it.”

the dirty sentence has you pulling suguru closer to you, and trying to trap him where he was so you wouldn’t have to look at him in the flustered state he put you in. but your boyfriend didn’t have it, forcing himself out of your grip, and craning his neck back to go back to looking at you.

he pulled out all three of fingers just to land a sharp slap across your pussy before plunging all of them into you again, “let me watch you baby. be good for me, okay?”

he honestly expects you to be able to answer him when three of his very large fingers are stretching you wide open and curling on that one spot that always has you crumbling, you know he expects you to because he turns his head a little when you don’t answer and lands another slap before going back to fingering you.

“speak up princess,” he orders so easily and so sweetly, like he’s not torturing your body right now

and you do your best to force the words out of you, legs quivering and resisting the urge to writhe in his grasp when you gasp, “ok–okay.”

“good girl,” he almost groans with a snarl as he suddenly stops fingering you open and hoists you over his shoulder, a squeal leaves your mouth at the action.

he’s walking you both to his bedroom, you notice from the path of his hallway made out from your view, and the realization doesn’t last long before suguru brings you down again, then pushes you down and bends you over his bed. he lands a slap to your ass and you can makeout the rustle of him getting naked when he says softly, “grab the pillows and put them under your stomach angel.”

and you listen, reaching easily for both of his large and fluffy pillows, and putting them under your abdomen.

you feel suguru’s heavy length press against your ass and bare pussy when he presses up against you, gripping onto the crease between your thighs and ass, and starts mouthing hot and heavy kisses across your spine. you whine a complaint at the fact that you feel so good, but you know you could feel so much better if he just put it in already.

“what?” suguru notices the pitch that you always make when you’re complaining, continuing his line of affection down your spine

“put it in,” you pout, wiggling your ass for emphasis and hissing a little when you feel his cock graze your lips at the action

suguru gives a last kiss to the bottom of your spine before coming back up and grabbing a fistful of your hair and bringing your head up so he could look at you, “how bad do you want it?”

“really bad sugu.” you mewl, feeling gratification from the sting of his hold on you

“you want me to fill up your little hole? even when we both know you’re gonna start crying that it’s beating your pussy up, yeah?” he questions cruelly

“mhm,” you nod pathetically, “even if i do.”

his lips twitch a little at your admission and he yanks on your hair a little harder when he lands a sloppy kiss on your lips that has a string of saliva connecting both of your mouths when he pulls away.

he stands back up and lands another stinging slap across your ass, groaning, “my pretty fuckin ass.”

as if he couldn’t get any dirtier, suguru then grabs either of your cheeks and spreads them apart to get a good view of your sex, the sudden exposure of which makes you feel even wetter. that last fact seems of no use to suguru when you feel a large glob of spit land and run down your hole.

you suck in breath when you feel suguru start to rub his tip across your folds.

“sloppy little pussy,” he mutters before pressing into you. and you both groan when he starts to inch himself in even further.

the moan you let out when he completely pulled out and slammed back in was sinful and the noises that followed when he started doing that again and again at a faster pace without mercy had you outright screaming.

you felt like you were constantly breathless, constantly trying to breathe. he hadn’t ever been this hard on you before.

and you thought you knew what hard was from him before.

“i know, i know,” he whispered against your neck when he pressed himself down against you and started jackhammering even closer to your cervix, so on point with your gspot too that you felt your orgasm starting to build up

a particular gutteral squeal from you had him breathing a “so cute” while he never relented his brutish force against you

“sugu–sugu,” you reached around for one of his arms, heaving, grabbing onto it while he violently moved the both of you, “i’m gonna–mmm–i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum!”

the confession had suguru suddenly changing positions, hooking his arms up and under your armpits to pull you up to stand flush against his body while he slammed up against you ferociously. it unexpectedly had your high crashing against you after a graze of your gspot.

“that’s it baby, that’s it.” suguru consoled when he felt you twitch in his hold and your juices dripping all over his abdomen and cock, “such a good fucking girl.”

all you wanted to do was fall down and rest, but the most you could muster was letting your body go limp in your boyfriend’s unrelenting hold, letting him use you as he pleased.

“ ‘s too much sugu,” you whined as the overstimulation started kicking in

It didn’t get him to stop at all.

“remember what you said earlier hm?” he brought up, breathing heavy as he lifted a foot up to plant it against the edge of the bed. it was leverage for the scream worthy pace he started forcing on you now.

tears started to fall down your cheeks at the overstimulation. it was so good, too good. It was all so sinfully good.

you felt your walls start to flutter again at your second nearing orgasm when you sniffled from the tears. and although your boyfriend still evilly abused your pussy, he leaned down and moved your face to the side with one hand so he could be face to face with you.

you thought he was going to kiss you, but instead he started licking your tears off.

it was the catalyst for your orgasm and you thrashed rather hard against suguru, who you could feel suck in a breath at the sporadic clenches of your pussy.

“fuck,” he breathed harshly, pulling you even tighter against him to more easily meet his thrusts and you could feel his cock twitch as a symptom of his incoming orgasm.

that, and he started to speak up filthily.

“Mine–mine–mine–mine.” he reiterated quickly, punctuating each time with a thrust, “fuck ‘s all mine. god can’t get enough of you pretty baby. so fucking slutty and pretty. fuck–fuck–next time i see toji giving you heart eyes im gonna pump my cum inside you so he can see it running down your fucking legs. fuck–you like that baby? what–a–good–good–fucking–girl. tell me you want that baby.”

scrambling for any piece of sanity just to tell your boyfriend what he wants to hear, in hopes of spurring his lust, you moan out weakly, “i want it sugu i want it.”

“yeah? you want him to see me dripping out of your pretty fuckin pussy? god–i fucking–want–it. he’ll never get to fucking know what it’s like to cream this little hole.”

“so–so dirty sugu,” you moan sheepishly at the embarrassing realization that he might just make you cum a third time because of the added spur of his pussy drunk words.

“pussy’s fucking dirty,” snarls back at you, pulling you closer to him, “can feel you clenching around me. know you fucking like it.”

the shut down of his words had you shaking in attraction to his ability to shut you up like no other.

“never–forget–you’re–mine,” he thrusts through, “ ‘s fucking pussy, your ass, your tits, your body, your pretty fucking face, ‘s all mine. you don’t need anybody but me. i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours. ‘s dick ‘s all yours, everything, baby. take it–take it–take it.”

his breathing was starting to get heavier and you could feel his abs start twitching against you, a sign of his orgasm building up just as yours was all over again.

so it surprised you when suguru pulled out and threw you onto the bed, your legs hanging off the edge before he picked them up and slanted them up against his body by hugging them close. “come here, come here,” he quickly let one arm go for a second to guide himself into you again before wrapping it around your legs again. he repositioned the one leg of his back on top of the bed for his leverage and leaned forward a bit to go back to his brutal thrusts.

“wanna see your face when you cum again.” he muttered as he stared at you squealing and moaning lewdly at his ministrations

suguru started kissing and mouthing at your calves while keeping you in a deadlock of eye contact. his cheeks and ears were tinged pink and his hair had fallen out of the half up half down do he had it in earlier.

the worshipping of your legs and eye contact had to have been the last straw for you, because after a certain lick of your skin, you started crashing, feeling yourself let go across the entire lower half of your boyfriend, resisting the urge to cover your face in embarrassment because he recently made it a point that he really really liked seeing your face when you came.

the point was proven when he followed soon after you, thrusting half haphazardly into you as he blew his load inside of you in time with every squeeze of your cunt. it was accompanied by a litter of painful bites across your calves and heavy breathing from your boyfriend. he looked like he came hard, it felt like he did, considering how every spurt of his cum was sharply thrusted into you, making you wince in pain every time his tip kissed your cervix.

both of you were breathing heavily after, especially suguru, his skin covered in a thicker veil of sweat than you, who was simply taking all of that force he was exerting. he was still holding onto your legs, resting his forehead on the bare skin of your foot that wasn’t covered by your heel.

his eyes were closed and he licked his lips, a bit tired, as he spoke, “i think i do get jealous after all, i’m sorry.”

his confession made you slightly clench around him, making him suck a breath in at the sensitivity while you breathlessly giggled, “that’s okay, i never said you couldn’t.”

suguru lazily bit your calf again as a sign of retaliation, "you could sound less excited."

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