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#they let him out after he calmed down
nelkcats · 9 months
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Family Trip
Danny loved her, like a sister, a daughter or something in between, but Ellie was happy as long as he was there to take care of her. She felt protected but couldn't stay forever.
She had already explored the whole world, and as interesting as the Infinite Realms seemed in reality they didn't interest her that much. Ellie was sure she needed to go further, but she didn't know how to let Danny know. So she simply told him straight out, that the universe they were in was no longer enough for her.
Danny accepted it, and told her that there were many other universes that she could explore, he told her that Clockwork had told him about some of them. Ellie was excited, she could travel more, but for the first time she hesitated, and realized that she didn't want to travel alone.
She asked Danny if he wanted to travel with her and he gave her the flattest look in existence.
"Obviously I'm going to travel with you" he said. And that was that. No discussion, no questions asked.
They both packed a couple of backpacks as if they were going hiking and asked Clockwork. He just tossed them Dan's thermos before offering them a method of travel. Danny frowned but opened the thermos anyway and dragged Dan with them as he yelled about injustices and upset families.
They ended up in Gotham, in front of a man with a helmet and a guy dressed as a stoplight. Danny waved and asked them for a chat (he probably wanted to ask for directions) while Dan sulked in the back. Ellie looked at the architecture curiously.
Unfortunately for Danny, the stoplight guy pulled out a sword and the helmet guy pulled out a gun. They both looked tense as they looked between the three of them. Danny frowned (his green eyes glinting with annoyance) before nodding towards Ellie and Dan and disappearing.
Thus began their vacation in a world where everyone wanted to shoot them; Danny felt at home, Dan wanted to steal an exotic candy called crypto-something and Ellie was happy to explore.
Their family trip had officially begun.
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tofuingho · 1 year
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What if Danny and Jason met in the infinite realms when Jason was dead and started a relationship?
Jason gets brought back to life, with or without memories of what happened while he was dead, and Danny has no idea where he's gone.
Jason is going through his whole training for vengeance thing. Danny is searching high and low, calling on all of the ancients and all of his rouges, doing whatever it takes to get his boyfriend back.
Jason meets up with the Bats. Does his whole 'kill Joker if you actually care about me' thing. Heads in a duffle bag and what have you. Danny still can't find Jason, but is starting to figure out that Jason was Robin. Like, actually Robin and just a concept spirit like Clockwork.
Jason starts making amends with the Batfam, but his "pit madness" is still a massive issue. Tucker and Sam help Danny figure out that Robin was Jason Todd and he lived in Gotham.
Jason wakes up one morning and feels like crap. He keeps having random sharp pains in his chest. He goes to the Batcave to get Alfred to check him out. Danny gets to Gotham and starts searching for Jason when he senses something odd. It's like someone is calling out to him, so he follows the feeling.
Danny arrives just in time to see Jason "giving birth" to their child.
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vialae · 2 months
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Nothing destroys Ketheric’s mood for the day quite like checking his calendar and seeing ‘Chosen Three Meeting’ scribbled in
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lilyevansmywife · 1 year
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Sirius: I wish there was cola flavored tea
Remus, Lily and Regulus in their very english tea club: go away.
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*siiiiiigh*
Look I promise today's prompt was going to be cute, I swear to high hell it was. And no, this isn't going to be anything like canon, and yes, I don't care fix is for silly ideas and aus and dreaming.
So anyway today, instead of nosebleed, I'm writing alt prompt: begging. Spoilers for 22/12/23 streams~
TW: temporary major character death, possession, grief, suicidal thinking as a result of said grief, self harm
(Read all the way to the end for a happy ending still)
"Please!" Philza screams. "Please, give him back!"
The others at Spawn look nervously between them. Their weapons are still raised, their tempers sharp, unable to quite process that whatever is controlling Forever will not use his totems.
Philza pays them no Mind, gives no quarter to their words. Ugly sobs tear through his voice, tears dropping onto the moss and cobble that makes up Spawn. He cradles Forever's head in his lap, shields him with his body even as he runs fingers through white hair and begs a miracle from the sky.
Forever - the parasite within Forever - laughs, his whole body shaking as black blood spills from his lips and from the gaping wound in his chest.
"How quaint," the monster laughs. "Even now you still can't accept what's been done."
"Fuck off!" Philza turns down to look at the monster corrupting his dear friend's skin, snarling even as tears continue to pour. "Fuck the fuck off and give me my fucking friend back!"
"Ah but little bird," Forever's chest strains in a cough and corrupted blood splatters over Philza's cheeks. "Can't you see he's already dead?"
Philza leans further down, pulling his hands from white hair to press against the wound. There's only more gasping, cackling laughter as he bows his head and let's a few sobs pass. "No, no..."
"Let him go, Phil," a gentle hand hovers near his shoulder. "He might respawn yet - just let him go."
If Forever wasn't allowed to use a totem, Philza doubts he'll be allowed to respawn; he slaps the hand away and turns his eyes back to the heavens.
"Rose!" He screams. "Rose! Help me! Please!"
She's only promised to aid him and his children, though - Philza knows this, knows that so far across the worlds she must be weak.
"Please," he sobs again, quieter now. "Please, I can't loose him... I can't..."
The tears are no longer sobs, now just silent torrents dripping from his face. The hand comes back, resting on his shoulder as he cradles Forever's possessed, dying form, and rocks himself.
Someone strokes Philza's wings, and he almost - almost relaxes. But then there's hands on Forever- hands trying to pull him away - and he screams again; he throws himself forwards, clawing at whatever would try steal his friend.
The monster in Forever's skin laughs, but laughs as though it can no longer breathe.
"She'll help!" He begs the people around him to understand. "She- She promised... She'll help..."
Because no matter what, if he loses Forever, Philza doesn't think there'll be anything left of himself for Rose to save.
---leave off here for ambigious ending. Continue for things getting worse, and then better---
The laughter beneath Philza's chest ceases, Forever's corrupted body falling still. The form that had been taunting him goes slack, tension against pain falling limp.
Philza is intimately familiar with what that means.
Philza knows death in all its forms.
Philza turns to the heavens, and screams.
It is not the screams of before, not a begging, not a plea, not a blind hope within the world. It is a scream born of anguish, of a splintering mind, of something once great and terrible carved open and laid bare. The abyss yawns before him, the void open and wide. Once he'd skim its surface, dancing and laughing and free - now he seeks only it's embrace, the oblivion which it promises as a final, lonely embrace.
The spectators turn away, or watch, Philza doesn't know - he just screams and screams and screams, helpless to what is happening, helpless against the shattering of an already fractured mind. He thinks he might see Rose's frowning in the grass around his knees - too late, too late, too late, and he would curse them if he had the throat left to form words at all.
But he doesn't, and so he screams.
The darkness fades from Forever's body only now, only too late. It trickles into the earth, corrupting instead the concrete beneath Forever.
The moss beneath the pair of them remains pristine.
Someone tries to pull Philza away - he hears Etoiles say something about an explosion - but he refuses. He refuses, he refuses, you will carve him from Forever or you will not seperate them at all. Bury him in the grave beside his confident, burn him on the pyre with his friend, leave their bodies entangled and deep and dark their remains.
Tubbo and Fit will look after his children - they don't need a broken husk for a father, after all.
He bends all the way down, now, pressing his face to Forever's chest. The blood there is red, red, red - still trickling from his back, but only as gravity pulls it away. Philza pays it no heed as he presses himself as close as he can.
Distantly he is aware of people being shepherded away, of whispers around him - it's a curse, it's a curse that even now his mind notices the movements, the threats, keeps plotting to keep him alive.
He doesn't want to live, not in a world without the sun.
He doesn't want to live, but his chest keeps on heaving anyway.
He doesn't want to live, but suspects he might be forced to anyway; hands peel him from Forever and force him against a solid chest, and this time he is powerless to stop them.
They let him keep Forever in his lap, at least, now cropped blonde hair bloody and draped across his thighs. His own black hair is stroked, and what can he do but continue his sobbing against Fit's chest as the world caves in?
The world remains suspended in time, a frozen mess only beating by Philza's sobs and tears. It drags and it shifts, and he is too far gone to recognise the vines which reach up, entwining around his limbs.
It's only when he hears the waystone that he looks up.
Blue eyes meet brown, and Philza throws himself at Forever.
Even after a respawn fuck only knows where Forever is weak, so weak. They both tumble to the floor, Philza's quick twist putting himself below the only thing saving Forever's head from the grown.
"You bastard!" His throat is too raw to scream, his sobbing back with full force and distorting everything he says. "You fucking dumbass! You- You- You fucking idiot why did you tell me you were okay?!"
"Hi Philza," Forever's words are rote and his smile is confused.
There's footsteps, heavy footsteps, and a potato canon pointed at the pair.
Philza twists again, shoving Forever behind himself, protecting him come what may.
"Sorry, Forever, but just need to check. Clothes off, and we need to see you bleed."
"Fit!" Forever struggles the full laughter or fake scandal, seemingly too weak to do more than lean against Philza's back. "I didn't know you were into that!"
Philza hates the option, he hates it so much, but Fit's right, Fit's absolutely right - they need to know.
"It's okay," Philza keeps his body between his friends, tears still quietly pouring as he cups Forever's cheek again. "I'll help you."
The "and all I needed to do was die" isn't nearly as obnoxious as either of them want it to be.
Gently Philza helps Forever strip. It's cold, and he shivers, and there's ugly burns on one shoulder and and ugly death-scar on his chest, but not a hint of the black infection from before.
The buttons on Forever's clothes are too complicated to easily redress him. Philza slips off his haori, and wraps it gently around him. Tucks the belt in an approximation of tied, and pulls Forever properly into his arms.
"Blood too," Fit says. "I'm sorry, but..."
"No, no, I understand," Forever whispers, even as Philza hisses.
He scrapes his hand through filthy gravel, tearing the skin in an absolute mess; Forever bleeds red, and Philza grabs his hand, already pouring a splash potion on it and picking out the gravel.
He can do this, he can do this, even if it's all he can do.
Behind them, Fit takes photos, a d relaxes.
"I'll let the others know," he promises. "Why don't you two get somewhere warm, eh?"
"I don't-" Forever begins.
"Let me show you somewhere special," Philza says. "I think you'll like it."
Even in the depths of hating himself for things he cannot help, Forever has never been able to say no to that.
The children are asleep in Rose's Garden. Philza won't wake them now, and especially not with Forever in tow. Now yet - reintroductions... they'll get there, they'll get there, just not today.
But the children are in Rose's Garden, and so the nest is free.
It's a little exposed, but the hay is warm and the blankets and pillows and clothes that make it up... And it's so far away from anywhere, so far from anyone who might panic and hurt Forever before there's been time to spread the news.
It's also home.
Philza will have to put Forever back on the bunker's allow lists, but in his heart he knows Forever will always be welcome in his home.
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wildflowercryptid · 9 months
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⚠️ spoilers for some year 3 + 4 dialogue with gustafa's child below! ⚠️
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[ some of the text in the second image is cut off, the full dialogue is likely meant to be "hold on a second. has gustafa been riding your coattails this whole time?" ]
no, because why is bea so brutal towards gustafa oh my god?? like you're really just gonna ask that question when he's within earshot??? 😭😭😭
#rock 🤝 gustafa <- designated sugarbaby in their relationship#does she talk like this about matt or gordy too or???#funny ha ha's aside i do think teen bea continuing to talk about gustafa like that would probably lead to them having a fight w/ tris#tris loves gustafa a lot and really respects his passion for music so they're more than happy to provide for him and let him focus on that#so bea's phrasing would probably agitate them in the moment and the situation would steamroll from there#(ya'll know how spats between parents and teenagers can go. 😓)#i can imagine gustafa coming home to see bea slamming the front door behind her and storming off#and then finding tris (who he's rarely seem actually angry before) fuming in their bedroom and starts putting the peices together#tris definitely apologizes to bea for getting angry with her after calming down and talking it out a bit with gustafa#they eventually talk it out together after bea has some time to herself and starts to understand her parents' relationship dynamic more#(it's hardly a one-sided transaction since gustafa keeps tris grounded and makes sure they're not running themself ragged w/ their work.)#maybe it also leads to bea being more curious about what gustafa exactly does as a musician so she starts asking him about it more 🤔#okay i'm gonna stop rambling in the tags i'm sorry i keep doing this ha ha#i just have a lot of thoughts about these guys and i have to get it out aaaa#story of seasons#bokujou monogatari#a wonderful life#sos gustafa#gustafa (awl)#oc : tris beckenbauer#chara : bea lantos-beckenbauer#🕹 : gamer time#mj.txt#awl spoilers
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myfriendtheghost · 4 months
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had a GVF dream last night and naturally in my dream I had to log onto tumblr and tell everyone about my experience
so here I am fulfilling the prophecy
#I miss them 😔#I dreamt that I went all the way to LA to see one of their shows at a small outdoor venue#very intimate and there was no pit !!! It was GA but no pit !!! CHAIRS#and the venue accommodated for my visual disability and let me in early so for the first time in my life I had a good view at a GVF show LOL#Jake was wearing the dragon suit from DIG#I think Sam was wearing his original DIG suit too? it was also black#Danny was wearing his Starcatcher outfit#and Josh was wearing a new jumpsuit that was white and BEJEWELED FROM HEAD TO TOE#it was sooo sparkly and pretty#so then they played a song and it was a cover (I don’t remember what song) and I was like well that’s kinda weird#and then oomf showed up and talked through the ENTIRE SECOND SONG (also a cover that I don’t remember)#and I was like well if he keeps doing this after the second song then I’m gonna tell him to be quiet#BUT THEN THEY LEFT AFTER THE SECOND SONG AND I WAS LIKE 🧍🏻‍♀️#but then I was like … well that’s the best view I’ve ever had seeing GVF so at least there’s that#anyway I haven’t listened to the boys in a hot minute but I might have to jam out on the way to church idk!#after that I had a different dream that I flew to Texas with my friend and I wanted to go to the American Girl store so I did and he left me#behind and got another flight without me KDHSJSKA ?!????#I had a lot of random and vivid dreams last night lmao#anywho…. love yall miss yall !!!!#life is finally calming down a bit but my depression is also starting to rear its ugly head again so WOMP#u win some u lose some
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stormclaws · 3 months
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miles!!!!
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dirtytransmasc · 8 months
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Hi!!!!
Do you have any hcs for how Alicole would try and solve and argument with the kids? Like, their dynamic (especially Aegon with Alicole cause he’s the oldest) is just so interesting and I’ve always wondered how an argument/disagreement would play out with them
ooh, tasty concept.
with arguments amongst the children, they try and get them to take a step back. they'll each take a kid (or two if it involves all of them) and give them a hug or something of the like, easing the tensions, before helping them come to some sort of compromise or agreement.
when it comes to non petty arguments that every child has, the source of issues amongst the kids is the following;
with Aegon they have to settle his need to compensate for feeling as though he is lacking. he tends to pick on his siblings when he's feeling down on himself. so it's a lot of affirming words and hugs while also chiding his cruel behavior. he's definitely hard on himself about being cruel as well, he doesn't like being mean it just sorta comes out of him when he's not in good spirits about himself. he shoves his siblings away over little things when he's upset which only makes him feel worse in the long run. the whole situation makes it hard to parent, as it's not right how he treats his siblings at times, but it's also awful how he feels and how it presents itself. there's typically long talks after the fact. Aegon's usually in his dad's arms, more often than not, while he mom comforts him.
with Aemond it's cooling his temper and frustration, deep breaths and grounding. they remind him that he can't let every jab get a rise out of him, that he always had them to turn to when he needs help, that he's not alone to handle his anger. they try and learn more and more each time, what triggers his anger, what helps him calm down, what to avoid, etc. sometimes he needs to just be held other times he needs a moment alone to breathe. they also try and help him learn how to self regulate and also make his siblings aware that he's getting upset prior to him lashing out (they also talk to them about it).
with Helaena, arguments tend to be because she thinks so differently from her brothers. not only is she a girl in a house of boys, but also because she's autistic (I was the autistic 'sister' in a house of boys for most of my life, it definitely brewed some unique arguments, and I'm gonna project god damn it), their ways of thinking and doing are so different sometimes that she just loses it. so with her, they let her talk, they let her ramble and decompress until she can ground herself, then they have to try and explain the boys point of views, how they see may not be the right way, nor is hers, neither are, but they have to learn to agree. then it's hugs and kisses and talking it out, before they go back to hashing it out with the boys.
Daeron's the most agreeable with the siblings, very adhd coded in my mind (so I'm going to project my brother onto him cause they're very copy pasted in my mind) so when he gets into an argument it's because he's going too fast, too passionate, and/or too much. so again, like most of their children, it's grounding first talking later. like Helaena, they have to explain that the way he is isn't bad or wrong, but that's sometimes we need to slow down, take a breath, cool off, and than continue.
with arguments they take their kids separately, normally separated into different rooms and they visit them together. depending on the exact situation they may just offer hugs and softness, or they'll play a slight game of good cop/bad cop, though they're careful with it. the goal is to solve the problem, not slap a bandaid on it. they tend to each kids needs before handling the actual issue at hand and then being them together to find a solution.
they can both be soft and stern in their own ways. Cole is typically softer on them, as he gets to their levels, takes them close while talking, but he has a stern voice and makes it clear he's willing to put a foot down if need be. while Alicent tends to be a bit more formal and stereotypically authoritative, sitting at the table with them, even if she holds their hands in hers and pulls their chairs close so she can stroke their cheeks.
normally the kids can make right up, or at least come to peaceful terms, but if it doesn't, cause kids can hold grudges like no one's business, Alicent and Cole are forced to remain wholly neutral which is much harder than one would think. most of their fights that lead to grudges are very childish so it's really just waiting for them to crack and realize it was a stupid argument. this is made easier when they don't get involved, so they just laugh amongst themselves where the kids can't see them, and try and keep face in front of them (they can smell weakness and betrayal. send help. a 4 kids household isn't easy). they definitely have moments where they wave the white flag cause one of the kids accused them of siding. the "get along" shirt is also an active and well worn member of the family (Aegon and Aemond share it often)
this video is very much Aegon and Daeron. they feud often. they're either acting like Aegon is a second dad to him, or they are actually going to war and have been sworn enemies for generations, fighting a battle to honor their forefathers (Alicent and Criston are so tired). speaking of Aegon being a second dad, he definitely oversees a lot of arguments between Daeron and his friends... does he understand little kid drama? no. is it entertaining as all hell? you fucking bet, he wants to hear all about what little James did at daycare.
when the kids are arguing with them, which with the way they run the house is pretty rare, but not impossible, they first take a step back for themselves. they will never show anger or cruelty towards their kids, so they make sure they're ok before they even think about talking to their kids.
talking will always be their goal, they never want to use threats or punishments to get what they want from their kids, and they have different ways about it. because their kids know how their household works, that things work on their time, and that just being open and honest, they really just need a day or two to themselves, if the reason for arguing isn't time sensitive, and then they can just take it out.
Aegon is sulky, he just closes himself in his room or flees to a friend's house (which they let happen so long as he leaves a note, leaves his location on his phone, and checks in every few hours) if its really bad. he'll drag himself back to the kitchen table in 48 hours tops, wanting nothing more than for his mom and dad to love him again (they never stopped).
Aemond is just frustrated past reason, so he'll go out and fence with his dummy or just something physical, then he's more willing to listen to reason.
Helaena normally had a boundary or nerve pushed, which was normally accidental, either cause she was already frustrated with something or something changed and it just put both parties in bad positions. space is all she needs.
Daeron is a bit of all the above. he's sensitive, though hard to cross, its often more about other things, something his parent did just broke the camels back, so a long run brings everything back to reason.
Alicent and Criston care so much about their kids, every argument they have with their kids, typically one-sided as they refuse to truly yell, breaks their heart whether or not they did anything or not. they never plan to punish their kids for arguing, they were kids once and they know that its good that they feel safe enough to stand up and fight for what they believe to be true, that they feel safe to shout and disagree with them. they would rather that over anything else, cause they know their kids trust them.
while they aren't permissive with their kids, their are rules and hard limits, they don't count arguing as something to be punished, and their kids don't tend to strand into punishable territories. so resolving a fight is a long talk at the kitchen table, no man's land so to speak, where all parties air their grievances. the problem is discussed, apologies are said on all sides, and sometimes it doesn't always end in a hug, but it does end in feelings being soothed and bridges mended. no one walks away with hard feelings.
they're not perfect, but they make it work, and because they've put so much time and effort into making their home safe and sane, the whole family in therapy, making active efforts to be nothing like their first "home" true arguments are far and few between, and when they happen they're equipped to handle it. Alicent and Cole are such good parents, their kids love and trust them, theirs so much space to talk and negotiate and handle issues early on that there typically isn't any reason to fight. I think that's what makes them such a good family, cause its so hard for me to picture them actually fighting outside of petty things.
#I genuinely cannot picture this family fighting#like petty things between the kids or teenage angst hurled at Alicent and Criston that they laugh about a few hours later most definitely#they wouldn't be a family otherwise#but I think that real arguments are rare and I love that for them#definitely strived to find the balance between gentle and authoritative parenting so their kids are well structured#handle all of their problems when they were little and now most issues are easy#cyclebreakers fr fr#they're also all mommy/daddy's girls and boys#all their fights are just big feelings that need to be rode out#Aegon yelling at Criston cause he's young and dumb and hurting cause he got his heart broken at school or cause he had to think about#dead dumb dad and his teenage heart is angry and he needs to put it somewhere? I think yes. I also think he cried in his arms a few hours#later and begged for his dad to love him again. cause they're hopeless#Helaena losing her mind at her parents cause she's just so stressed and everything'd out by the world and they just happened to breathe the#wrong way at dinner? again. I think yes. and she felt so bad afterward and goes on a whole vent about school and people and does some DPT#after letting them both hug her really tight so she could calm down#Aemond getting frustrated cause they're “babying” him over the loss of his eye and just ending up a sobbing screaming mess cause he's just#so mad at the world and he doesn't know what to do with himself#Daeron's head getting too loud so he gets super upset and disregulated and starts yelling in his room. not even at them directly until they#come in. he just loses his shit for a minute until he's tuckered out and then he's a mess in his parents arms#teenage angst is a bitch and the source of everyone's problems#alicole#alicent hightower#criston cole#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#daeron targaryen#pro team green#hotd
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cloudeling · 1 year
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okay bcus like. like. moon can't read turtle's mind. at all. and the only dragon who's been able to block her out like that is. darkstalker. which well. well. moon does grow to trust him but she really shouldn't and at this point he's not exactly trustworthy. she even wonders if turtle and darkstalker are the same dragon at one point. not to mention there's the vision of turtle attacking anemone - who, at this point, is someone that doesn't meen particularily malicious. a bit spoiled, at most. so really moon has every reason to be wary of turtle. and she is! but also. his head is silent, consistently so, and i think. well. there's 35 students at jade mountain, not to mention the teachers, and like. that gets loud when you're a mindreader. so moon is probably pretty overwhelmed in the first little while being there. but turtle is quiet. his head, but out loud too. so maybe moon doesn't trust him, and she's worried he's dangerous, and she can't employ her usual methods of figuring out what's going on with other dragons, whether she needs to run or not. but he's quiet, and that's something comforting admist all the noise in moon's head. so what i'm saying is. turtle's like an anchor. a beacon. something to latch on to. and that's something very helpful for moon. yk?
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bangcakes · 4 months
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minnow-doodle-doo · 1 year
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Personal rant in the tags :/
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ronkeyroo · 1 year
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Oh god we drew so much Ardyn brainrot in the stream yesterday that I think I hallucinated him at some point when I was trying to fall asleep at 3 AM 💀
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"Your hair!" Della gasped, rushing to where Fitz sat at the table. His usual dark waves had been dyed green, and they stuck out in every direction. "Someone slipped an elixir into my shampoo this morning, Fitz said, patting the spikes and eyeing Dex. "But it's cool. I kind of like it." Dex snorted. "Keep telling yourself that." "Actually, it's not that bad," Biana said. "Yeah, Fitz can pull off anything." Sophie blushed as she considered the implication of her words. Keefe groaned. "I knew we should have gone with a balding elixir. Next time!" "Uh-uh," Della told him. "You need to fix this---now. Do you really want the Black Swan to see what you've done?" Keefe shrugged and grabbed a pastry from one of the platters in the center of the table. "They're walking around crusted with ice and turning their bodies to stone. Cactus head is nothing." "Okay, lets try this a different way," Della decided. "If you get to makeover my son, then I get to makeover both of you."
--- Neverseen, by Shannon Messenger, pages 122-23.
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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years
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#my stepfather is coming back on monday and im so. so not looking forward to it#thank god i had these few weeks to be alone. i was finally able to somewhat calm down and pull myself together#at least in comparison#but thats abt to be over. and i already feel like digging my own grave than dealing with it#wether its bc its him and im still very on edge after years of bullshit or whether its bc hes a man and not only that but one that i do not#trust. and thus living with him sends my entire psychological state into absolute fucking mayham and i find it impossible to clam down or#truly let my guard down even at 3 am alone in my bedroom with the door locked#god fucking damn it and americans make their homes out of twigs so the damn house are paper thing. im the quiet sort anyway. he is not.#gOD and the unnecessary fucking sex jokes and the jokes abt prostitution or about women which he always for some god forsaken reason#makes out of the fucking blue and everything time i makes me want to crawl out of my skin. its making me want to crawl out of my skin now#ohh lord. its going to be months of this. its already making me wanna cry lol#im already so fucking tired and dealing with so much shit and overwhelmed when im on my own#a literally prepetual state of feeling like prey and scared or disgusted even at every waking moment even at night will drive me fucking#insane again#fuck. maybe i should start taking my other antidepressants again too. the cptsd ones. and maybe i should take a double dose again.#just drug myself into a state of detachment and lack of feeling
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trollbreak · 1 year
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None of my silverfin folks are Good, per se- they kill and maim and indulge killing and hurting and a number of them eat that which remains, in the right context. But also they’re friends, u see, and they can be so kind in spite of that. Given the right circumstances.
#lays here and thinks about marrow holding dexter so close and hesitating to let anyone but peipre close#thinks about how peipre does her best to sit and comfort someone that’s too distressed in the area- a casino can be overwhelming after all.#thinks about how phenga holds peipre and yarrow in her arms like she can smooth away the harsh edges of the world. even for just a moment#phenga going to Orion as he gets off work. taking his arm in her own and guiding xem in the late hours of the morning to eat and then to a#room. he doesn’t know her name but that’s the game of it. but somewhere along the line it became more than just a game. she’s so so very in#love with that teal and anybody that sees them at dinner can see it#silverfin putting new rules into place the instant they hear about how marrow almost got killed. it takes a while to work out the kinks in#the new routine but they saw the lines under phenga’s eyes in the nights after and they saw how peipre’s hands shook and they may not be#able to do much but they have to do something to try and keep it from happening again.#yarrow pulling silverfin aside to tell them that she saw their descendant. that she didn’t meet him very well but he exists. that she met#his captain and he’s okay. that silverfin didn’t condemn some poor grub by being in love#peipre leaning to just rest her arm agains marrow’s when he starts getting a bit too tense. a small reminder that she’s here- that if#everything goes wrong he doesn’t have to take it on alone. and sometimes that light contact is enough.#peipre giving dexter a hug and squeezing him tight for a moment. because as much as she tries to prepare there are some things she’s not#sure quite how to say. and maybe if she tries hard enough she can show him anyhow.#yarrow pulling peipre away from work when things start to get to her too much. making her take a moment to just let herself breathe. often#yarrow matches her breathing until she’s calmed down because peipre pats more attention to someone else than herself in times like that#lays facedown on the floor thinking abt these bitches being nice#silverfin casino#peipre#peipre charme#gotta go add that to all her posts sometime#marrow dahlia#khalia yarrow#dibsym argent#silverfin#miss#phenga arionn#Orion pulsar
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