#things but for the most part I'll see other interpretations and be like aw yeah I can see that

[real-godzekiel]

Hey! Any headcanons about Opal and her family when she was a baby?

hi im just waking up so please ignore any mistakes.

opal was probably born with the expectable amount of health problems. at much i like to think her mom would have tried to keep her baby safe in the womb, probably didn't try hard enough to prevent this. I'm not that good with headcanons regarding illnesses and disorders and syndromes and that (i don't even know that well about my own body) but i think that because she was being born from an alcoholic malnourished mother, opal had some physical differences from other kids growing up that's not associated with her homelife. and she probably have FASD

i like to think that her parents tried. i mean i sure fucking hope they tried when opal was little. seeing as how opal cares about grandpa's health to hide his ciggies and how mom's entire thing is that she relies on a idea of having a child to take care of and be taken care by i think they paid quite the attention to opal when she was a baby. I can vividly picture wine mom (which I will after this refer to as "Hope" for convenience) holding Opal and just staring at that baby when she is sober. I don't think Hope talks a lot when she is sober so she's just silent. Hope takes care of baby's physical and emotional needs (again, she tries) and grandpa, when he was more lucid, would let Opal watch whatever kiddie stuff was on the television. I think that's how Opal started daydreaming. Most of my daydreams when I was a toddler was from the TV. What a lovely way to escape, the TV (it's not lovely). not to mention that it's likely that grandpa was never the best person, as he definitely had a part in Opal's mom and dad turning out this way. i'm guessing that he might have a softer spot for grandkids for a while before his health got worse and worse. And Mirror Dad when his appearance was still relatively normal? I don't know. People tend to think he's the nicest but I always thought Opal was just less afraid of him and more annoyed by him than anything because he wasn't really that much a part of Opal's life when she was young. But this is just me projecting now. but still i would think that when Opal was very little Mirror Man had mental and physical health that was okay enough for him to be out most of time. trying to earn money and find job. This definitely doesn't go well most of the time because as distorted as every other family member's self-image is, at least theirs are stable. His lack of presence in home definitely made baby-Opal unconsciously start seeing him as a stranger, especially with Hope and Mirror Man's interactions being awkward to say the least. Let's not even talk about Opal's mom and dad's relationship with grandpa. its awful awful awful. its. yeah. Now that Mirror Dad is back in the house for eternal damnation in futile labyrinthic self-examination in hopes of restoring self-image Opal is starting to know him better now. She still doesn't like him very much.

I think Opal would find her time being 1 to 3 years old being the happiest period of her life when she was still in this particular household. She spent most of her days during that time listening to her drunk mom rambling or reading stories while holding her, but safe in that she does not understand anything she is saying yet. when her mom is (in an attempt of) preparing food, she is in her grandpa's arms seeing images on a screen that is not static. Birth from 1 year old is ok but it hurt. Physically. Her body was too small and weak that she cannot make a noise and that means not enough energy to have awareness so life can be at least entertaining. When she slowly healed through time at the point of 1-3 years of age, she can yell and babble and make noises usually without that much a reaction from her mom. That's because these noises did not form words yet. The burden of language, man. I think that's it for now I'll add more if I have any. Kind of funny I love varying interpretations so much until it's my own. I think I struggle to find the right balance when writing these.

#askee #opal 2020 #opal jack stauber #jack stauber's opal #opal #tw alcoholism #tw child neglect

[smol-fan-creations]

Alyx in Chapter 3 - Part 2!!!

Once again guys, this will have spoilers for Chapter 3! Trigger warning for mentions of past abuse and uh... Death.

Parts 8 - 10:

She woke up first, due to an old nightmare of her abusive ex resurfacing. She probably sat in the living room trying to forget it by remembering her and Alphonse, at least until she goes to wake the boys up

Seeing them so sleepy made her laugh, and that quickly turned to being flustered from Al’s “Boo sandwich” comment. The poor girl was red as a pepper and had to keep herself from scolding him

When she left with Charlie, she internally apologized to the boys, "I hope you guys can forgive me for this..."

She didn't care what Jessie thought about her plan, but felt a little grateful that the woman was willing to stick up for her because Alyx knew the guys would panic

To keep up a bit of an act, she did back up when Derek went for Charlie, but carried herself confidently when they left. This was the man that hurt the two most important people to her. He isn't getting off easy.

In my interpretation, she most certainly shot Derek. After his whole spiel, she saw it as some kind of mercy as he sounded insane telling his story

Afterwards, she would snap after seeing Seth in the bar. If that happened, she would do her best to keep the others from hurting him but... Would most likely fail

Parts 11 & 12:

She woke up while Alphonse was outside with Charlie, and would be in a panic. Seeing Seth next to her would calm her down a little, but she would find Al and Charlie outside. The whole dam would burst as she hugs Al while spewing everything about her awful nightmare

For that moment, Al would tell Charlie to kindly scram and would let her rant as she rambles about how much she loves him and how he should never let her do anything stupid

Seeing her in that state would break Al, and he would hold her probably till Seth comes to find them

While Seth and Al talk in the kitchen, she is taking a shower to calm herself down from her breakdown

When she gets in there and has her conversation with Al, she held his hands close as reassurance, calm until he mentioned the gun

"Oh... You noticed." "Sorry, I'll put it back."

One thing about Alyx is that, while she is used to pulling all-nighters (much to Alphonse's dismay) she still gets exhausted and it takes time for her to recover

So, when Al and Seth are eating outside of the car, she is with them, but already ate and passed out on the car ride. Both boys just decided to leave her be so she can sleep

This goes into me reacting to the ending so, yeah: She was still waking up, but awake enough to think about her nightmare. Seeing Jessie made her feel better for Seth, but she noticed the blood on her clothes and wanted to stop him before he got out

Watching him freeze scared her because this is the second time someone has gotten blood on their hands for him, and she knows it probably reminds him of when Al hurt Derek

"Oh god... Seth..."

#yuurivoice oc #yuurivoice #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice alphonse #yuurivoice bittersweet #bittersweetlistener #that ending messed me up

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

🥺🤡🛒✨👀 for the fanfic asks

Thanks so much for asking!

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Pining, that really does it for me. Knowing that two characters want each other but can't have each other due to their circumstances. ESPECIALLY when they have a moment where they allow themselves to slip and revel in their connection, knowing it can necessarily only be temporary.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

So both NAJ (the protag from Whiskey and Teeth) and MXW (the protag from Canto Bites) have a Western flair to them and that comes with some kind of corny, teasing jokes. But I do enjoy writing them. Like the, "what are you, some kind of inquisitor?" and "is that a lightsaber?" *is obviously a lightsaber* "no I'm just happy to see you." So if you enjoyed that, look forward to more of that.

I also snickered to myself every time I wrote HRH (protag from Studied and Praised) thinking something along the lines of, "I've got this, I'm poised, Heir to the Empire" and then immediately crumbling because the Inquisitor did something totally benign like look at them and say 2 words. They just could NOT handle having a crush.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Ohh SO many! I really like to play with balancing attraction and repulsion, there's something to me really naughty and sexy about knowing you should be scared, reviled, angry, etc, and instead finding yourself attracted, aroused, enamored. NAJ was a little scared and a lot thrilled by it. HRH was initially repulsed but then found beauty in the features they initially reviled. MXW has loving adoration for the Inquisitor, but is also viciously angry with him.

I've also spoken about this before, but I enjoy interpreting the Inquisitors as a sort of "Dante's Inferno" type literary demons. They commited the ultimate sin and are damned forever, and their mission is to tempt others into damnation with them. They are suffering, and yet their respite is to drag others to the dark side and to the Inquisitorius to suffer with them. I'm not religious, but I live in a very deeply Christian place and grew up with people not allowed to celebrate Halloween or read that book series about Witchcraft and have to drive past stuff like this on a regular basis:

(Maybe he already has, oh ho!)

Anyways, that deep-rooted cultural tradition has kind of left a mark on me and it's DEFINITELY a part of the works. Temptation to the dark side, the heros being punished for their one flaw or sin, burning/flame and devil imagery, etc.. But I hope it isn't to the point of being offensive, that certainly isn't my goal.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Aw thanks! Let's see, I've been out of the game for a long time, and I'm really excited people like these works! I'm really happy to have finished something, and boy ohh boy, when I am writing them and when I am reading back over them 🥵. But also! I think even though the purpose, at the end of the day, is to write self-insert porn, I think I do so in a way that tells a compelling story and hopefully makes the reader feel like they have a role and a place in this universe too!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

So Canto Bites... typically my writing goal is to get 1000+ words written in a day, but I can only get about 500 a day for this piece because it is really emotionally heavy. MXW stands for Mx. Wrath. They're our first protagonist that has a previous history with the Inquisitor. They are a Horse Girl (gender neutral). And yeah, everything about this is pretty personal for them. This one will probably be my most trigger-heavy work, but I don't write non-con so none of that. Just like, on the darker side of things. I'll try to balance with something lighter next, but this one does really excite me!

Also, my previous two works were based on characters/scenarios I had really worked heavily with in the past so I had a really well-developed world for them. MXW is totally new. Well, they're based on a previous rendition of themselves, but that rendition was same premise but totally different circumstances, different mood, emotions, etc. So basically, I'm working through this scenario for the very first time! Which is doubly exciting for me.

#thanks again!

[shespeaksinsongs]

Motivated Education | Draco x Reader

read part 2 >>

A/N: I swear it's less confusing than it looks in the summary.

Summary: Y/N bids Scorpius goodbye after another one of their tutoring sessions when his older brother (and heartthrob) Draco comes downstairs and proposes something to her.

Warnings/content: unrelieved tension, cliffhanger, pt. 1 to a fluff

Word count: 677 words

masterlist | request form

"Okay, Scorp, just a few things we need to fix." Y/N said, circling three words that the tiny blond had misspelled in blue pen.

"Aw, man!" Scorpius said, his hand smacked to his forehead. "I'm never gonna get good at this!"

"You are, sweetie, I promise. This is some pretty tough stuff!" Y/N said, rubbing circles on his suit-jacket-clad back. You could tell his older brother took part in dressing him.

"My brother's really good at this, you know? He has the highest grades in school except for a Ravenclaw girl he says is brilliant." Scorpius said sadly, his small hands dusting away the eraser bits as he changed his mistakes.

"And you're being taught by that Ravenclaw girl, so you can be sure that you'll be top of your class, too." Y/N smiled, fluffing up his hair. "Why don't we stop for today? I'll teach you about the compound words you were asking about next week, okay?"

After a short period of silence, Scorpius sighed, stopping his profuse erasing. "Okay. Thank you, Y/N." He said, getting out of his seat and waddling over to Y/N's waist, hugging her tight.

"You're welcome, my love. Now go get your brother so I can talk to him a bit." Y/N laughed, holding him close.

"He's been watching us for the past ten minutes." He said, pointing behind him up the stairwell where Y/N's most promising academic rival stood.

Y/N shook her head, laughing to herself at Draco's antics, rolling her tongue on the inside of her cheek. "Thank you, love. Get some sleep. You have school tomorrow."

She watched as Scorpius' little feet pattered up the wooden stairs, the sound eventually becoming quieter until he got to his room, indicated by the sound of the door shutting. "So you watch people now?" Y/N asked, packing her bag and heading to the foot of the staircase, leaning on the railing.

Draco dramatically sauntered down, one foot in front of the other. "Just making sure my brother's being taught right."

"Right." Y/N fake smiled, her eyes squinting with a glint of mischief in them. "And the most brilliant student in school isn't enough for you?" Y/N asked, stifling a laugh when Draco's cheeks tinged pink.

"Well, I'd prefer it if my mother would let me teach him, but unfortunately, I have a life, unlike some people I know." Draco said, now only a step above Y/N, the tension between them almost unbearable.

"Don't get too cocky, Mr. Malfoy. It sounds like you're implying you know me when you don't at all."

Draco chuckled, stepping down, so they were finally at the same level. "Well, I'd like to." He said, not really thinking about the words leaving his mouth. The playfulness in his eyes left and was replaced by a much more hopeless look.

"You could," Y/N said, grasping the arm Draco extended as he prepared to walk her to her car. "if you raised my rates."

"Done." Draco said, fishing an extra ten Galleons out of his pocket for Y/N. "What do you say about a picnic at the Black Lake tomorrow at 7?"

Y/N "mulled" it over in her head, leaving room for interpretation on her facial expressions. "Hm... I say yes." She smiled genuinely, her eyes bright.

"Pick you up at 6:30." Draco said, staring the young Ravenclaw down, watching as his every micro-movement made her shift nervously.

"Yeah." Y/N said, now way more disheveled. "See you tomorrow, Malfoy."

Draco watched as Y/N's car reversed out of the Malfoy Manor driveway, only shutting the front door when he was sure she'd left safely. He picked up stickers Y/N had given Scorpius that had peeled off his hand and smiled to himself.

"So you're finally going out with Y/N/N?" Scorpius asked from the bottom of the stairs, his light orange dinosaur plushie clutched tightly to his chest.

"That's the plan, little bug." Draco said, swooping Scorpius over his shoulder. "Let's get you back to bed." The two giggled as Draco tickled Scorpius' feet, their happy laughs filling up the manor.

-

Taglist: @Malfoyswifeyy @daedreamss @happygalaxymilkshake @sunshinexweasley @evahpmcu @alexxavicry @mvdbldd @secretlynerdygeekystuff @marcela6malfoy @elizabethrosedarling @lolooo22

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy x y/n #draco fanfiction #draco x y/n #draco x reader #draco blurb #draco malfoy blurb #draco fluff #draco malfoy one shot #draco one shot #draco lucius malfoy #soft draco #hlbutterflyoriginal #scorpius malfoy

[swimmingleo]

Changes: or to take the higher ground before it's too late

I'm going to be real here folks, I cry ugly tears to this song. Bad.

Changes is a song on Cam's album "The Otherside". It's country, it's folk and it's an album a bit influenced by changes in Cam's life (a change of label, personal life). She collaborated with Harry on the song Changes, as she opened for him on a venue and was already working with Tyler Johnson.

From what I gathered: Harry sent her the demo of the song, implying he made most of the writing on this one. What I'm basing this claim on is her interview for Rolling Stones (read it here):

I heard [the demo] and was just like, “Oh, this ache to outgrow something that you don’t want to outgrow!” It felt so good. I normally don’t take outside songs [...]

‼️DISCLAIMER‼️when analysing this song, I'm gonna go from the idea of it being written with a queer mindset (how surprising of me). Cam rendered the song beautifully and it is very much her own, but I believe Harry's input is consequential. After all that's his lil whistle and cute fishsona in the MV.

Sad queer analysis ahead.

Let's analyse the lyrics first:

There is a town

Somewhere down a country road

The speaker describes the town to us, from memory, from experience. "There it is, down the road, can you picture it ?"

I see it now

I take it everywhere I go

The speaker doesn't currently live in the town, they're on the move (nice throwback to the coutry road). But despite all the travelling, they realize the sedentary smalltown never leaves them. It's part of them. It left a mark on them.

The river sways, I can almost hear it now

As if to say, "You're not the only one who wants a way out"

The town is so real to the speaker they can sense it, eyes and ears. But it gets a bit dark: the river sways like it's trying to leave its bed. The river is envious of the speaker who managed to leave. The town is so toxic even nature wants to get away from it. Or the speaker resents the town so bad that they project their own resentment on the river.

So, I go

'Cause I don't wanna feel like I don't know you anymore

I memorize those roads

This is the call for the speaker to leave for good. Their motive doesn't seem to be ambitious or anything grand. They leave because they apprehend a feeling. Apprehending a feeling, something that may not even happen, is the way of an anxious person. Anxiety is the motive of their departure. However, they still memorize the roads leading to the town, just in case. Perhaps one day they'll come back.

Somewhere out in the big wild country

Someone's fallin' in love in a backseat

Givin' it away

Like their hearts won't ever break

Suddenly it's about love ! Young love, one that is lived in the small compartment of a car, somewhere hidden and safe in the big wild country. As if the countryside was unexplored and threatening.

God bless the young hearts sippin' cheap wine

Gettin' drunk with their friends for the first time

Thinkin' nothing's gonna change

'Til everything changes

The speaker looks at the youth with tenderness, wishing them the best. But once again, they're not in the town in the present time, they don't see the youngsters fooling around, they can only guess from first-hand experience. And it's very specific: falling in love, getting drunk with friends and thinking everything's gonna be easy like that forever until it's not and heartbreak ensues.

From there I hop in with the raw queer theme of those lyrics. It started by falling in love and it ended up in a heartbreak. In between, the speaker got drunk for the first time with their friends, people they trusted enough to let go a little, but in the end everything changed. Why ? Alcohol makes you forget about code of conduct, how you're supposed to behave. It makes you say or do things you might not have done sober.

We can interprete this chorus as the beginning of the end for the speaker. It's the only part of the song evocating the past, and it's fun and easy, but it's also where things started to get bad the way they are in the present. Something might have happened that first time the speaker got drunk and it marked the end of innocence and careless childhood, and it probably has to do with love as no other factor is provided apart from falling in love and heartbreak.

They never leave

They're all havin' babies now

Watchin' daytime TV

Livin' off the gossip of a cruel small town

They. With Harry, it's always You, Me, and They. They are having babies, all of them, like it's not a very difficult thing to do, it's just natural. They have the leisure of the day, not a thing to worry about, if not gossip. It's not implied anymore, the small town is downright cruel. Gossip fuels it, but on behalf of someone else, and that someone is most definitely the speaker who left and who describes its inhabitants in the most mundane way, perhaps with a hint of contempt. The speaker seems bitter.

So, I go

'Cause I don't wanna feel like you don't know me anymore

Don't recognize my face

Reprise of the pre-chorus except now, the speaker provides another reason for their departure. Not only they feared they wouldn't know the town anymore, they also feared being seen as a stranger. It's not like the speaker actually changed physically: but it might as well feel like it. Again, apprehension, anguish. As implied in the chorus, things changed to the point where the speaker feels they would seem like a whole another person to the rest of the town, a stranger, a threat to the integrity of the conservatives. So they leave before this shift in perception can happen.

There ain't nothing here for me anymore

They say they don't hear from me anymore

And I don't wanna hear it anymore

The town is not outwardly hostile. It's still the town that saw the speaker as a kid. The town doesn't understand why the speaker left, but the speaker won't give in and get in touch. They want to be as far away as possible, until they don't hear the questions, the river, everything. It's almost like the speaker doesn't carry the town in their heart at all. They want to forget it all, and it hurts everytime the town tries to lure them back in. The way Cam sings it is painful to me man

Somewhere out in the big wild country

I was fallin' in love in a backseat

Givin' it away

Like my heart won't ever break

Had such a young heart sippin' cheap wine

Gettin' drunk with my friends for the first time

Thinkin' nothing's gonna change

'Til everything changes

Yeah, just the confirmation of the chorus being the speaker's experience. I went ahead and assumed it was already lol but it's like a plot twist effect. It's dramatic. It's a personal song to someone.

TO MAKE IT SHORT to me this song is intense and very in touch with the queer experience. Though it describes a specific situation, it is surprisingly not that detailed or full of metaphors the way Harry often writes: this town could be literally any smalltown in the countryside. The backseat could be the one of any car, cheap wine is something any teen can afford. I like to think Harry wrote it for himself but is also aware so many people went through the same thing, and still will. I have to admit I'm heavily biased writing this, as the experience of a queer kid struggling to find their place in a well settled smalltown is familiar.

GETTING DRUNK AND QUEER IDENTITY is an analogy Harry already used in Fine Line when he sang "We'll get the drinks in so I'll get to thinking of her". To drink is to let go, to unveil the most subconscious aspects of yourself you might not want to deal with otherwise. You don't care about judgement and you get to explore those parts freely. In Changes, this is the last memory they recall before stating the changes and their departure. Perhaps getting drunk for the first time would be when they realized they're queer. Or acted upon it, causing their little world to shake. They chose to leave before it eventually wouldn't feel like a choice anymore. There is no life for people like them in a cruel smalltown.

SMALLTOWN BOY

This song reminds me an awful lot of Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat. The song is about a queer boy having to leave the smalltown where he grew up because of persecutions and no future prospects.

Mother will never understand why you had to leave, Smalltown Boy

They say they don't hear from me anymore, Changes

But the answers you seek will never be found at home, the love that you need will never be found at home

There is nothing here for me anymore

Other people not understanding why they leave. People who can't truly empathize even when they mean no harm. They would never understand the speaker's departure, because those people get to find love and have babies and live a peaceful life in the countryside.

You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down

Livin' off the gossip of a cruel small town

Yeah yeah. I really struggle with just seeing this song as nostalgia when such harsh words are being used. I do believe there is a part of fondness for that town, that countryside setting and the early days. But it's not all tender memories.

CHANGES AND ERODA

Of couuuurse we all noticed the adorable purple fish with the pearl necklace. It represents Harry, no question, as it whistles Harry's part. And of couuuuurse we all made the link with the erodian fish, and some even noticed they formed the bluegreener pair when their colors are inverted.

It makes sense for those fishes to be connected with this interpretation of Changes. Both works are about a small town, lost in the nature, where the people are watching, aware of everything that isn't normal, that is peculiar. The early life of the peculiar boy is similar in every way to the early life of the speaker in Changes. The fish in Adore You grows too big for the island and has to leave, and though Eroda makes amends with the peculiar boy, he leaves as well because his future, his fulfilment, is somewhere else. So does the speaker in Changes.

IN CONCLUSION

The more I write posts like this, the more endeared I am by Harry's world. How Harry writes for himself, but also for other people with songs like this. How nature finds its way in all that he does. How grounded he is, how he doesn't seem to forget where he came from. It really is such a rare thing to see in a mainstream popstar's writing and art. How can someone say he sold his soul to LA is beyond me

#very dear to my heart this song #was in the drafts for quite a long time too #but hey i took louis' new song as a cue lol #they do have parallels #though i feel like louis' change is way more accepting #louis' way more at peace with the idea of time passing and leaving the town behind #not saying harry still struggles or not but the story told in changes is more pain than healing to me #anyway love their brains love them muahmuah #my analysis #song analysis #harry styles

[angsty-nerd]

Meta: Echo’s Big Fight in 3x09

Let's talk about the Big Echo fight. Because wandering around in the fandom this past week, I’ve seen a lot of very specific conclusions as far as what they were or weren't arguing about, and I’m not sure my take on that scene really aligns with other folks. So let me try to break it down a bit and give y’all an alternative perspective on it.

To start with, the scene opens with Max on edge because they're breaking and entering. Liz is singularly focused on the mission, and he's kinda freaking out. Instead of responding to his concerns, Liz gets straight to business.

"Ooh, ooh, this is interesting. Heath left Genoryx two days after I did. Must have realized he didn't need to be working underneath their corporate thumb."

Liz is kinda projecting here. Heath never once displayed any discomfort with Genoryx as a company the way that she did. He wanted her to stay. He wanted the resources there. We know these things as an audience, and Liz would too if she was thinking through the big picture at this point in time.

Max, on the other hand, doesn't know any of that. Here's what Max hears from Liz: he hears surprise. He hears Liz acknowledge that this is unexpected news. And right as he’s processing this unexpected reveal...Max sees Heath's Wild Pony t-shirt.

Weird coincidence #1 from Max's POV was Heath (the guy who is currently so pissed at Liz that he won't take her calls) supposedly rescuing Liz's science out of the good of his heart so that Genoryx doesn’t get their hands on it? This doesn't add up.

Weird coincidence #2 was Heath quitting Genoryx - a decision Heath made that Liz wasn't expecting.

The Wild Pony t-shirt is now the 3rd thing that doesn't add up. And if the t-shirt clue isn't adding up for you, see my post about it here:

The T-shirt is strike 3 for Max. He can't really pretend that he's not suspicious of Heath anymore. So he broaches the subject with her.

"How much do you know about this guy, Heath? How close were you?"

Max is feeling uncomfortable and looking for more information. He's trying to make the clue make sense. Why would Heath have the T-shirt? Does he have a connection to Roswell that Liz doesn't know about? And Liz doesn’t listen.

"This isn't the time to be jealous about a boy I met."

For all that Liz is clinical and on mission, she jumps very quickly to assuming that Max is NOT on mission. Yes, Max is inherently more emotional than she is. But throughout the episode he's been asking questions about Heath and NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. That's one of the keys to me here. Max really is trying to give her the benefit of the doubt about him.

At Liz's house, he asked about "the boyfriend" but he wasn't doing it in a jealous or judgy way. If anything it could almost be interpreted as concern. He started with "were you happy" and only when Liz kind of metaphorically admitted that any happiness was a façade...that's when he brought Heath into it. And yeah, Liz says that he impacted her life and helped her grow, but she didn't exactly express romantic feelings that would make Max jealous. So when she basically jumped straight to the jealousy assumption instead of actually discussing this with him, he starts getting worked up. Because she is not hearing him. She is not acknowledging that the facts they have found during this investigation are not adding up. So he is honest and blunt about what he's thinking.

"I'm just saying it's possible that he took your one-of-a-kind alien spores and quit, so that, just like you, he could use the research himself, free of Genoryx."

Max is the one who brings the science into this conversation. Not Liz. And he's not criticizing or questioning HER application of the science. He's questioning the trustworthiness of Heath. Because the lies are starting to jump out at him like a friggin’ neon light.

BUT — now that he's specifically brought up the science, he has her attention. Because Max questioning her science is HER sore spot. So what does she say back to him? Something kinda judgy.

"That grand trust speech certainly had a short shelf life."

Side note: I really don't think there actually was a "grand trust speech" in this episode. I can think of a few scenes where there might have been an opportunity for one. In particular during the milkshake scene when he admits to saving her tapes. But they actually don't talk about trust in that scene. They talk about having hard conversations. They talk about moving forward instead of looking backwards. But they don't talk about trust. My guess is that there might have been content cut for time at some point in this episode, that may have included some grand declaration from Max, but that's really just speculation on my part.

Regardless…Liz's response to Max bringing up the science is to basically accuse him of not trusting her. Which is not what he was saying. He was not questioning her use of the science. He was questioning her trust in Heath through the context of her science. So he elaborates on what he IS saying, and as he does, he's getting more and more worked up...because this does relate directly to his personal fears, and, frankly, his buried trauma that he's never properly addressed.

"I trust you. Okay? But I don't trust some guy I have barely met with a secret that could endanger me, could endanger my family and break the frickin' Internet if it came out."

Max doesn't know Heath, and he doesn't trust Heath with a secret that could endanger Michael and Isobel. His emotions are escalating, because now he's thinking about the science that scares him in the hands of a guy that all signs points to being potentially untrustworthy, and he's triggered.

BUT he doesn't back up his argument. He doesn't point out the very specific evidence he's identified that Heath is probably lying to Liz.

And Liz is inherently reactive and sometimes overly defensive (see 1x09 list of Liz's flaws). So even though he's focused on Heath, she immediately reacts defensively and takes it as a criticism of HER.

"You think I would let myself be conned?"

"No, I think you came out here looking for a partner, and it could blind you."

*deep breath* and this is where it starts to get personal. And rough. Max isn't entirely wrong here. But he also kind of is. Liz didn't choose Genoryx for partnership. She was looking for resources, freedom to do the science she wanted to do, and to save her father from deportation.

But partnership? Yeah, Liz wanted that. But she wanted that from MAX. She was looking for partnership in life, not in science.

And now that Max has thrown that direct criticism out there, Liz is going to throw a bomb right back at him.

"Just because you sabotaged me when I thought you were mine does not mean that Heath would take the same path."

Ouch. This is the hardest line in this whole scene for me to work with. Because it is combative. And purposefully hurtful.

BUT…she is NOT TALKING ABOUT HER SCIENCE. She has not said a single word about her science in this argument. She moved past that. She had the epiphany that she was wrong and she apologized (3x03). That is in the past for her.

This argument, for Liz, is about betrayal. This is about her believing that they were going to be partners and move their lives forward together (2x12), and right when she believed in that future, Max made another massive decision that directly impacted her life (just like he did in 1x13) instead of working with her to make big decisions together.

"And just because you changed the wallpaper doesn't mean you've mended your blind spots."

I really hate this "change the wallpaper" line. It feels like they're mixing metaphors. Liz called her life a commercial. Max is saying that she's changed her decor. Like...pick one and stick with it.

That aside… I think this barb is about her arrogance. Earlier in the scene, she seemed baffled at the idea that Max believes she could have been conned by Heath, because Liz is used to always being the smartest person in the room. She thought she was smarter than Diego and he figured her out. She believed her lab was secure, but Diego (possibly) got in. Sometimes, like most scientists, Liz is so bogged down in the complicated, brilliant details she’s thinking through, that she misses simple things that contribute to the big picture. And I think that's what Max is getting at here. In her arrogance, she believes that she can control the Heath situation. But she's not acknowledging the human factor here - that Heath is a person who may have his own unspoken ulterior motives driving him. Just like Diego did. She's just not seeing what Max is seeing.

BUT - again I'll say. Max is also not communicating the scope of the evidence he is collecting. They're both wrong here.

"I have learned my lessons, but you... oh, my God, you sound an awful lot like the guy who blew up my lab. So forgive me, but you're making it perfectly clear why I felt like I had to go and change the wallpaper."

This is the only line where Liz even comes close to talking about her science, but again, she's talking about his betrayal. She's talking about him undermining their partnership. She's talking about her need for a change of scenery from HIM.

And that’s when Max blows out the safe and they put the fight on hold to finish their investigation.

But, to sum it up…the fight was all about trust and betrayal. It was necessary for them to work through it, though frankly? I wish they could have finished the discussion. Because instead of them coming to some sort of peace with their trust in each other, the truth came out about Heath, Liz realized that she was wrong, she apologized, and they moved forward together, on mission.

I can’t help pointing out though…after the fight and Liz's epiphany about Heath, Max and Liz spent at least 15 hours in a car together. And I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that they didn't talk about anything important for 15 hours. Fic writers assemble? 😆

Many thanks to @ober-affen-geil for doing a quick review and checking me on opinions vs facts. Very important.

And for my next trick… road trips, life choices, and Robert Frost! Coming soon to a Tumblr near you…

#rnm echo #rnm season 3 #roswell new mexico #max&liz #my meta #max evans #liz ortecho #rnm meta

[patchun]

WBaWC Deep Dive: Part 1/2

Lots of philosophical ideas are presented and explored in this game. In this post I aim to point them out. ZUN stated this in his SCooW interview:

"There isn't any sort of obvious theme to the story this time. It's mainly just an introduction of "there's a world like this out there". There's a variety of things going into that world, particularly satire, but if you ask what the work wants to show you, there isn't much in particular. "Here's this world called the Animal Realm, and here's these various elements spread throughout it."

And after doing a ton of digging... yeah, I think he's right. I was kind of hoping there would be something unintentional, but because the perspectives of the human and beast spirits aren't really shown, and only the spirits of their rulers, taking an actual message away from this game is very difficult. That said, I feel with this game more than any other, it's very easy to identify why certain decisions were made. Why is the first boss a stillborn child? Isn't that pretty random? No, let's look into it.

The story this time is quite complicated, so you may not be able to see the whole picture if you just play as one character. To be fair, you may not be able to do so even if you clear them all. (lol)

This will obviously be based on my own interpretation. Long post ahead.

Eika Ebisu. The soul of a stillborn child, and a master of stacking stones. Importantly:

She and the rest of the stillborn child spirits at Sai no Kawara stack stones as work every day. They stack stones as work, in Shinto mythology this is as repentance - because they brought sorrow to their parents by dying too early. Kind of morbidly amusing, I guess, but ZUN makes it a point to say this:

She's also a god of fortune who's able to change simple, pointless work into something that's enjoyable and worth doing, and who can make the best out of any bad situation.

Her ever-cheery demeanor, bright intellect, and penchant for constantly holding exciting new events like stone-stacking contests makes her the Sai no Kawara's resident idol, beloved by all the children's spirits there.

With the spirits of stillborns, yes. I feel like it's more hopeful to portray them as having fun in the afterlife, you know?

Being a god of fortune, Eika is able to make stone stacking FUN. The simple labor of stacking stones for these kids is no longer labor for repentance, but a game, thanks to her (NOTE: labor.) For that reason she is the resident "idol". She is probably the most healthy idol in the game, according to the ideology ZUN seems to be presenting, but we'll get into that later. There's more to this character.

In philosophical discussions of animal rights, when we ask "what is it that makes humans worthy of moral rights", we try to find a criteria. Something that humans have that nothing else does. That criteria then needs to be defended as being a good reason for humans to have moral rights. Used to, sentience was the argument made for human uniqueness. Humans are sentient and conscious, while animals are, in Descartes' scummy terms (sorry, I hate Descartes) "mere automata". We worked on this assumption from that idiot for years, but recently it has been scientifically proven that animals, at LEAST mammals, birds, crustaceans, cephalopods, and reptiles, are sentient, and it is summarized in a document called the Cambridge Declaration of Consciousness.

So this proves a problem for those who believe animals aren't worthy of moral rights. So then, what else do humans have that animals don't? Why are we special in deserving moral rights? Well, that would be our intelligence, right! Even the smartest animals are only about as smart as a five year old (this is not actually true but let's just pretend it is, they're smarter). But then, if intelligence is the criteria for moral rights, then what exactly is the system here? Does that mean that children are less worthy of moral rights than adults because they aren't as intelligent? Does this mean that people who mentally disabled and not viewed as "intelligent" by parts of the populace should be less deserving of moral treatment?

This has been a veryyy simplified summary of the discussion, but here's where it gets even more interesting. You see, here, two controversial ethical topics meet - abortion and animal rights. Because if you want to argue that sentience OR intelligence are the criteria for moral rights, then in either case, early fetuses absolutely do not have moral rights! This is a problem for anti-abortion arguers, which is a funny intersection in my opinion. I bring this up because, of course, while Eika is not an aborted fetus as far as I know, she is still a fetus. She is quite out of place in a game where the rest of the opponents up to Keiki are animal spirits, right? But no, the fetus and children in general actually have a very philosophically interesting place in animal rights discussions, because oftentimes to argue that animals are not deserving of moral rights you also have to take away the moral rights of children. In case this whole thing has left you confused, the side I took was that sentience IS the criteria for moral rights, meaning both animals and children have moral rights, while fetuses don't.

Now, what does Eika tell us about this? Well, nothing. Just that ZUN seems to have thought about it, really. But there are two keywords that apply broadly to WBaWC as a whole when talking about Eika:

Labor

Moral value

So let's continue.

Urumi Ushizaki. Seeing a farm animal after a stillborn child really set off some alarms. Her name translates to "moist beauty". Not sure I needed to know that, but I came across it in my research so now you do too.

She carries a stone carving of a baby. Once she gives the baby to someone to hold, she makes it heavier and submerges them in the river. She was an awe-inspiring youkai who took advantage of humans' kindness. However, since she's forbidden to attack humans in Gensokyo, she currently runs a fishery at the Sanzu River.

If one tries to cross the river without a shinigami's permission, they'll be attacked by creatures like extinct giant fish and plesiosaurs. Nowadays, she spends her time domesticating those giant fish, and makes a living wage by sometimes selling them in Gensokyo.

A baby then a cow with a baby. Urumi is the "Parental Guardian of Ancient Fish". She apparently domesticates them and makes a living wage (interesting terminology?) sometimes selling them to Gensokyo. But, it's implied that as a fisher, she actually cares about these fish. In Reimu (Wolf)'s story:

Reimu: I'm fine, thanks. If it's just fish I'll have to deal with, I'll filet 'em no problem.

Urumi: That so? Fine by me, then. I won't hold back when I turn you into food for my beloved ancient fish!

When Reimu threatens her fish, Urumi gets defensive. She refers to her fish as "beloved" and suggests valuing them over the protagonist, even though she isn't supposed to attack humans. In the SCooW interview, ZUN is asked, more or less, what's up with the fish in the Sanzu river? He responds:

It's full of fish that died, or went extinct. They can't go to Hell or the Netherworld after they die, you see... since fish and insects are in a bit of a separate category, the way I think about it.

So, remember that distinction we made earlier when talking about Ebisu? How the animals that have been proven to be sentient are mammals, birds, reptiles (cephalopods, crustaceans)? That excludes fish and insects, and here, ZUN makes that distinction as well. Fish sentience is still pretty up in the air at the moment. But that said, if there's any unintentional message in WBaWC, I suppose it would be here.

The fact that Urumi is able to domesticate these ancient fish in the first place implies a certain degree of sentience, and moreso, even without that, Urumi pretty clearly ascribes moral value to her fish in Reimu (Wolf)! In almost all routes, she defends her fish and suggests she'll feed the protagonist to them, but Reimu(Wolf) makes it the most clear that she actually cares about them. Which, when you think about it, of course you'll care about the things you domesticate.

Also Urumi's design is so cool and yet no one draws her anymore. Justice for Moist Beauty. There is more to be said about the livestock theme of this character, but we'll get back to that when we talk about Yachie's profile.

Kuwaka Niwatari.

Her true identity is that of Niwatarijin, the god of wild chickens from before they were domesticated. People tend to think of chickens as being sort of weak and cowardly, but she's a polite and just god who values equality and altruism above all. She's quietly considering what she can do to help raise the status of chickens, who've been reduced to a food source for humans.

If you've been following along so far, you probably understand already where this is going. A few words may stand out here. Domestication, equality and altruism above all, status, and "food source for humans."

Kutaka is probably the blatantly nicest character in WBaWC, who tests you because she's worried that if you go further, you'll be hurt (after winning, of course, the protagonists insult her). There's not just a ton to say about Kutaka's character itself, but there is this tidbit in ZUN's interview:

Chickens don't usually have a very positive image attached to them. Calling someone a "chicken" certainly doesn't make them sound strong either, right? And the only other common impression of them is as food, so I tried to give her a dignified feeling.

So, ZUN has deliberately designed Kutaka to be dignified, noted that she is a character who values equality and altruism, and included that one of her motivations is to raise the status of chickens who have been "reduced to a food source for humans." What's fascinating is that by creating Kutaka this way, he has given us a message - ZUN believes, to a degree, that Kutaka's motivation is a just one. Kutaka is intended TO raise the status of chickens. So let me say this. To those of you who made fucking chicken wing jokes after this character was revealed:

STOP. FUCK YOU. STOP.

If you'd like to repent, you can start by stacking stones. Trust me, it's fun!

Now, all of this is cool, but part 2 is where it's going to get interesting - when we finally get to Yachie's profile, the description of the "Animal Realm" of Hell. I'm excited, but I need to make dinner. Part 2 coming soon.

#touhou #th17 #wily beast and weakest creature #eika ebisu #urumi ushizaki #kuwaka niwatari #philosophy #animal ethics #reblogs appreciated greatly #patchunslibrary

[hajimeiwaswife]

EGUZKILORE

Word count: 1,4K

Warnings: post time skip!Iwaizumi

Summary: Iwaizumi finds some strange items in his birthday.

'What an intriguing flower' Iwaizumi thought, looking at the sunflower-like plant in front of him. Entering his office at the training department of the Volleyball National Team of Japan, he found it on his desk, waiting for him with a little note under it.

"In the beginning of it all, everything was dark. Not a pinch of light could be appreciated among the darkness surrounding the atmosphere. Sorginak and creatures of the night used the lack of light to attack the people who lived in the area." read Iwaizumi, confused with the terminology and the story, "The townspeople, tired of the danger it supposed, took a stone each and went to Mari's cave in order to seek a solution. In exchange of the stones, Mari gave the people the Sun, protecting them from the evil creatures during the daytime. But it wasn't enough, as they continued to damage the towns at night."

Iwaizumi sought the rest of the story, curious as to what happened next. How did the townspeople survive the creatures at night? Who was Mari? What was a sorgina? He needed answers, but he also had to work, so he left the flower and the note in his desk again and left his office.

"Iwaizumi-san!" shouted an excited Shoyo, running to him in an eternal happiness and bouncing.

"Good morning!" continued Bokuto, following the ginger enthusiastic boy.

Like that, the rest of the team greeted him, he was loved and respected as their trainer, something he really appreciated, as he had worked hard to get where he was. In his 27 years of life his main motivation had been surpassing the annoying man he had for best friend, Oikawa Tōru; he was sure that team could make his dreams come true.

"Happy birthday, Hajime," suddenly said Shugo Meian, greeting the trainer and surprising both the players and Iwaizumi himself.

"Is it your birthday, Iwaizumi-san?" asked Shoyo, eyes wide with curiosity.

"Yes, indeed."

"We should celebrate! Bokuto, bring the wine!" exclaimed Atsumu, forcing the white and black haired guy to follow his orders. Sakusa, who was observing everything from his usual corner, formed a scowl under his mask.

"Miya, we can't drink during practice." reasoned Ushijima, serious, and nodded at Iwaizumi, "Happy birthday."

"Thank you." returned the gesture Iwaizumi.

The morning continued like that; Atsumu tried to convince five different people to drink with him in 'Old Iwaizumi's honour', Shoyo and Kageyama challenged each other to see who was the best at guessing Iwaizumi's presents ―receiving a scold from Aran, who had to suffer their bickering since first hour in the morning―. Hajime was used to having to take care of men in their twenties as if they were his own children, but he had to admit it was draining to have to look after Bokuto so he didn't end up electrocuted, incited by Atsumu, needless to say.

During lunch break, Hajime returned to his office to get his meal, which was in a Tupper inside his working bag. He took it out and headed to the door so he could go to the canteen to heat it up. That was until he saw another flower, like the one in he had seen in the morning, attached to the wooden door. Surprised, he grabbed it and found another note.

"The townspeople decided to gather and go to Mari's cave again. With a stone each, they returned to the Goddess' dwelling and asked to be saved from the creatures that attacked when the sun faded in the horizon. Mari, who was benevolent, gifted the people the Moon, so they could be protected at night." 'Ah, that makes sense' thought Iwaizumi to himself, "It worked for some time, but the creatures got used to the light casted by the satellite and started causing trouble again. The disturbing laugh of the Sorginak didn't let the townspeople sleep, and again, they gathered."

Hajime turned the page, waiting to find the rest of the story, but there was nothing left for him to read. He sighed, he didn't know who was leaving those strange flowers and those notes in his office, but now he demanded answers and he wanted them in that exact moment. But how? The was no one there to continue the story, not a single soul. Frustrated, he went to the canteen as he had planned initially.

The rest of the day proceeded without events, just a couple of phone calls from his family and friends, the team's shenanigans and his pursue of the end of the story.

With a tired sigh, Iwaizumi returned to his office for the last time that day, he needed to pick up his belongings in order to go home a drink a beer as he had wished ever since he got up of bed. Just in case, he searched for a flower and a note, finding them on the top of his bag. The difference was that the only thing he saw was the plant, but no note. 'This must be a joke', thought Hajime to himself, seeking the note as a mad man.

"The townspeople grabbed a stone each again and returned, for the third time, to Mari's cave. They asked for help and the Goddess answered 'This is the last time I'll be helping you, my dearests'." Hajime turned immediately to find you at the door, smiling slightly as you talked.

He had seen you and talked to you before, you were the translator and interpreter of the National Team and of the MSBY. He had to admit he found you attractive and very interesting, but his busy schedule made it impossible for him to actually being able to think about inviting you to go for lunch with him someday.

"In that moment, Mari created a bright flower, one that could be mistaken for the sun itself. 'This flower will grant you the safety you seek at nights. The Eguzkilore will protect you'. Ever since, you can find an Eguzkilore at the door of every Basque house, seeking protection and light." you finished, walking to him nervously. "Happy birthday, Iwaizumi-san."

"Thank you," was the only think the athletic trainer could say after a minute of silence. He was still processing what had just happened.

"Um, the flowers are for you," you fidgeted, nipping at your lower lip, "I gave you three for you front door at your house, another for this door and the third for, eh," you coughed, feeling his intense gaze on you as you talked "for your car. I hope you like it."

Silence reigned in the room again, the only sound that could be heard was Shoyo's and Bokuto's shouting from across the gym. Hajime looked between you and the three flowers in awe, wondering what to say so he didn't mess up and make you think he wasn't grateful for such a thoughtful ―and unusual― present.

"Do you, uh, wait no, not that," he started, trying to form a coherent sentence, "How do you know this story? Where does it come from?" he asked quickly.

"Oh, that," you nodded, taking a deep breath, "Well, I read about it a couple years ago, I found it cute and endearing how the Basque culture explained the, uh, you know, the existence of the sun and the moon. And I thought that maybe ―not that you have to―, but maybe you could... like it? I guess." you awkwardly stated, looking at everything but him, warmth overtaking your features.

Hajime nodded again, smiling slightly at your nervousness, he thought it was cute. He also thought it was thoughtful from your part to get him a present for his birthday, and decided in that moment, in mere seconds, his next move.

"Maybe you can tell me more about his Basque stories?" he asked, nonchalant, "We could go for a drink and, yeah, talk about them?"

You thought about it for a second, your crush was asking you on an informal date after you acted in, what you thought, was the creepiest you had ever acted. But he seemed to like it? Men were strange. You were glad, though, the meaning of the Eguzkilore was very beautiful and you wanted to share it with him.

"Yeas, why not? There are a couple more I could tell you."

"Settled, then. C'mon, I have my car parked near the entrance."

Like that, the both of you exited the gym in a comfortable silence, Iwaizumi keeping one of the Eguzkilores in his hands so he could place it in his car. You were thrilling, it actually stood out in a very original way. You looked up at him and he smiled at you in a breath-taking way, causing your hands to tremble in excitement: you were going to get some drinks with Iwaizumi Hajime!

"I have a question, though, what's a so-, sor, sorgina?"

NOTES:

Eguzkilore is composed by "Eguzki" = "Sun"; "Lore" = "Flower". It comes from the Basque, the most ancient culture and language in Europe.

Sorgina: it could be the equivalent to what we know as "witches". They are described as Mari's assistants, they are usually good, but sometimes are described as "disturbing". They were part of the Akelarres.

Mari: the main goddess of the Basques. To contact with her you have to leave a stone at her cave.

#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu!! #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hajime iwaizumi #haikyuu x y/n #hajime iwaizumi birthday #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 19

First time reader click here

Summary+TWs: We're talking serious feelings here, okay? Reader, you're literally emotionally illiterate. You also have PTSD, which is finally addressed - kinda. Bruce does his best. And he also knows how to kiss... But y'all know that if you read my ramblings about lucid dreaming/shifting/whatever... Chile-, anyways...

My phone kept buzzing and I ignored it until Bruce declared it was time to take a break and review the results. Whilst the man was typing up the data on a nearby StarkPad, I fought the sudden influx of messages that I received from haters and supporters alike after Tony decided on tweeting a reply that could be interpreted in an alarming variety of ways. It was a smart move, I'll admit, but a fucking bother for me nonetheless.

Disabling my DMs and dealing with a follower increase in the thousands wasn't hard; I didn't consider myself a problematic asshole and didn't need to be afraid of "exposure". The parties I went to - I doubted there was any blackmail material in there and the few nudes I'd sent over the years were always face-less. As a gen Z, I knew my internet safety.

The trolls didn't bother me either. It was more sad than annoying, people shitting on others for clout. Iron Man stans were witty, at least, if jealous. I must admit I've never considered the influx of popularity I would experience should I publicly out myself as a friend of Tony's. Girlfriend? Intern? Science child? Whatever cover story he was going to feed the press worked for me, as long as I still got the hugs, the kisses, the dick and the attention.

"Tony..." Bruce groaned, evidently done with the data processing, had to have opened his social media to see his own skyrocketing popularity.

"Yeah, our Tony is being a Tony again," I chuckled, having reset my social media settings so my phone wouldn't constantly beep, vibrate and bother me. School was going to be fun.

Bruce shook his head, fond, coming over to my side of the lab after removing his own hazmat suit. His eyes shiny with newfound knowledge and hair turned adorably fluffy in the confines of the head covering. He was smiling softly. "Food?"

"Sure."

We chewed our sandwiches in silence for a moment, each of us lost in our thoughts.

"I still can't believe Tony told everyone on Twitter you're his girlfriend, usually he keeps this stuff private or schedules a fancy press conference," Bruce's tone was thoughtful.

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that what it was? Seemed ambiguous to me..." I trailed off, confused.

"He worded it like that on purpose, I mean, you're still in high school," The scientist was confident in his words. "But I know Tony. I'm a hundred percent sure that he meant exactly that. Aren't you?"

Shock flooded me. Suddenly, I understood I completely misread the situation. "Um, no? I thought we were, y'know, just fucking. We never defined our relationship and we're definitely not exclusive." I said, chewing on my lip. "You make a valid argument, I'm a high school student and he's a grown ass man that does grown man stuff. Putting aside the fact that he could have anybody in the world so why would he choose me?" I was rambling, thinking out loud. Discussing my feelings has never my strong forte. "It would be stupid to impose monogamy on such a complex man like Tony. Downright idiotic to expect a genius to confine to social norms just because it suits others." I finished with a wave of my hand. Another bubble of thought that had festered within me for the longest time. I felt relieved, finally voicing it out loud. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders, a weight I wasn't previously consciously aware of.

Bruce was watching me intently, with an unreadable expression that held the tiniest bit of awe, admiration perhaps. The silence that followed was unnerving. I fidgeted with my hands, not really knowing where to put them or where to look.

"You know," He took off his glasses, fiddling them in his hands. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. For the longest time, I thought you were going to inadvertently hurt him when you get bored with whatever you've got going on. I respect you, don't misunderstand me, but you are young. Now, I've changed my mind. You've changed my mind," He punctuated his statement with his hand on mine, grasping it. "I think you managed to understand him in a way most people can't. Or don't want to. Understand and accept him in a way that some of us can't even after years of working and living side by side with him." Bruce's gentle fingers skimmed along the top of my palm.

"I don't always understand Tony but I do accept him," I agreed. "Because Tony is a great man."

"I think you're in love with him," Bruce said, absolutely having ignored my previous statement. Just like that, point blank, he pushed to the surface the very feelings I got so good at ignoring. There was no rest for me in this place.

My heart fluttered, picking up the pace. I kept my mouth shut, not trusting it whatsoever. My thoughts became akin to panicked hares, jumping and zigzagging aimlessly in my skull. I didn't see the point in defending myself because the scientist had pointed out the obvious.

Bruce looked at me, softly, warmly. "And don't think we haven't noticed the rise in team morale. The improvement not only in communication, but on the battlefield, too. It's easier to entrust your back to someone with whom you've shared a laugh and a drink the previous night. You're the glue that keeps us together."

Something warm and wet was on my cheeks. I stared at our clasped hands, his words echoing in my head over and over and over. The moment I realized I was crying, I willed myself to stop and failed spectacularly - only more salty fluid streamed down, some of it getting in my nose, on my lips. The sleepless nights were making me unstable.

It took a single sniffle for Bruce to pick me up and wrap up in his kind embrace. I didn't resist, tucking my face into the crook of his neck, holding onto the back of his lab coat, inhaling the smell of his skin and chemicals. It was familiar, calming. Minutes ticked by with me slowly leaking the tension out of my body.

"He loves you, too, maybe he just doesn't realize it yet." Bruce whispered into my hair. "I've never seen Tony so happy, even with Pepper. You are special and you are loved."

There was something unsaid, I felt it. It hung in the ear, it burned the tips of my ears, stood sharp on the tip of my tongue. "I love you too, Bwucie-bear," I whispered into the space between his ear and his jaw. His arms tightened around me.

The man placed several chaste kisses in my hair, running a palm over my back. In moments like these, the crush for him, the very crush that got out of control, blossomed fully into a deep sense of respect and admiration. He made me feel safe. He said all the right words at the right time.

Drowsiness overtook me. As usual, any worries and anxieties I had evaporated, once Banner had his arms around me, shielding me from the world. I didn't forbid myself this time: delicately, my hand slipped through the man's soft messy curls, eliciting a contented sigh.

"You haven't been sleeping well," He more stated than asked.

I had no choice but to nod. "Clint keeps dying in my dreams. Or even worse, he doesn't, he just suffers, endlessly, painfully." I admitted.

Bruce flinched under me, tensing. My face was in between his hands in a second, the scientist sternly looking into my eyes. "Why didn't you say anything? All of us assumed you were okay after what happened." He looked - angry. Not Hulk-out pissed but Bruce-pissed, which equalled a kicked-puppy look seasoned with a great pinch of disappointment.

"I am okay." I lied, shamelessly. "It's getting better. That's why I want to have a party - relax a little, dance, socialize. I don't think Tony would let me go on my own so I figured I can convince him to throw one here." I looked away. It was better for everyone if I dealt with my own problems - they were superheroes, not babysitters.

Bruce frowned. "Why wouldn't Tony let you go?"

"Because of that one time I snorted coke," I rolled my eyes at Bruce's naiveté, leaving the less obvious parts unsaid. Tony knew exactly what I was going to do once I got free reign, he considered it destructive and told me so himself. Admittedly, he had a point but still... I wished I'd been given a choice.

"I'll talk to him," Bruce nodded firmly. "That's not acceptable. He can't forbid you from making mistakes and learning from them."

He was met with my shrug. No excitement came from me regarding this particular turn of conversation. I was drained, limbs like jello, thoughts sluggish. My face was drooping.

"Let's get you to bed," Banner stood up with me wrapped around him. "You need a nap."

"No," I protested. If I went to sleep now, only Satan knew at what ungodly hour I would wake up.

"Yes, Princess," Bruce smirked. I wiggled uncomfortably - when he went all caretaker like, my ovaries wreaked havoc on my body and brain. My thoughts weren't appropriate if Bruce wanted me to see him as a father figure. The signals he was sending were mixed. People around me did that a lot and I wasn't sure how to act so I usually just went with the flow. I decided to do the very same thing in that particular moment.

Curiosity sparked within me, tightly interwoven with the deep longing that settled below my collarbones whenever Tony or one of the others wasn't sitting next to me or talking my ear off. I've almost forgotten how it was to be alone with my thoughts. The maze of my very own self was becoming unfamiliar territory. Alarming.

I allowed Bruce to help me shed my shoes and outer layer of clothing, shivering in the coolness of my room. Despite being a frequent visitor, I still had a 'guest' room in the tower - I mostly stayed at Tony's or Wanda's anyways. During our sleepovers neither me nor the witch minded sharing her enormous bed, to be fair, we could have fit at least two more people in it besides us. Tony took care of his own - all the tower's residents had their apartments furnished with the best stuff.

"Sleep now, Princess," Bruce chastised, tucking a blanket around me, having noticed an earbud in my ear and my smartphone in my hand. I had hoped to kill some time online, damn well knowing sleep wouldn't come easy.

"I don't think I can fall asleep, Bruce," I admitted, looking away. There was just so much going on. My brain wouldn't shut up and if I couldn't drown out the cacophony by being productive, I'd troll the internet, as usual.

Banner sighed, coming to sit next to me, leaning against the headboard. Gently running his fingers through my hair, brushing the outside of his palm against my cheek. "How do you usually deal with this?"

Involuntarily, my eyelashes fluttered. "Tony does most of the work," I admitted coyly. The engineer had a whole arsenal of tricks up his sleeve - sexy and exhausting tricks.

"I see," Bruce muttered, thoughtfully.

I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me with a look I haven't seen before. The usual mildly absent, slightly anxious face he wore was replaced by something I could only describe as hurt envy, like a kid looking at their schoolmate who had all the newest, coolest toys. I used to be on the receiving end of that look far too often and I hated it.

I hid my face against his leg, rubbing my cheek on the raspy corduroy fabric of his pants. "Got any good ideas of your own?" I wondered lowly, thinking about what in the world possessed Bruce to wear corduroy trousers on a semi-casual day, in the twenty-first century.

"Only bad ideas," He replied in a matching low tone. His soft fingertips relocated to my nape, goosebumps rising down my back.

"Humour me," I grinned against his leg.

Bruce was quiet for a moment, the sound of his thinking screaming louder than any words could have done. Knowing the scientist so closely, I found out he was full of surprises - bolder than he appeared outwardly and competitive to a boot. He thought he had a lot to prove to himself and by extension, to others. The unknown, the mystery dangling in front of my nose was exhilarating, trepidation addictive. It took me away from the chaos in my mind.

A gentle grasp on my chin had me turning to look upwards, Bruce's face flushed and focused on my own, open and trusting. He needed to see the obvious, that I trusted him to take care of me. He pulled and I followed, sitting up on my elbows, coming up to his shoulder level, our faces inches apart, enveloped in the unique, intense scent of his herbal tea. It was a tart, strong smell and it suited his quiet but passionate character.

Once, twice, I caught my eyes sliding to his plump lips. They looked far too appealing in this position. I usually strategically stayed away from positions so compromising, fearing the very thing that I'd already let happen, however this time the atmosphere was different. We stood on ambiguous grounds, waiting for Bruce to make a decision.

The man wasn't stupid, he saw the way I looked at him. The nightmares and inability to take a break from life put a significant dent in my resolve to keep a distance between us, romantically - I could have settled even for a pity kiss, a pity fuck. Anything to put my brain on pause.

His lips were softer than I had imagined. Skilled, too, he easily steered the kiss into the shallow waters of our combined longing.

With Tony, it was like an avalanche. Tony ran hot like Peterbilt engines, hard and fast, almost angry in his race for satisfaction. Tony was a man that was used to getting whatever he wanted and it became plainly obvious when we fucked.

Bruce was the opposite. He savoured the kiss, losing himself in a way that could almost be described as delicate. Bruce was humming, softly, as we tasted each other, holding the left side of my face with careful fingertips. Almost as if he was afraid to break me. The feel of his skin on mine was soothing in a way that made me sigh and relax even further.

"Wanna make you feel good." His voice had dropped, gone husky, but his breathing held even. He must know all about self-control.

"Yeah," I was ready to agree with whatever the fuck he was offering. My eyelids remained shut.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

PS. Letsby, please don't combust. The underwear is coming off in the next chapter. 😶

#bruce banner x you #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner fluff #bruce banner x y/n #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #party favours #bun writes

[theelliottsmiths]

So anyway, Mein Herz Brennt Making of liveblog, one of my favourites

First of all, I do take any use of piano MHB as a slight towards my tiny hands. -1 point

I really would love to visit this place, it's beautiful

I love that Oli introduces it and then Till is straight in there talking about murder and stabbings. Trust that to be what intrigues him. I feel like 'smells like murder' isn't a direct translation but that's purely because I spent like ten minutes trying to work out what words he says. It rhymes, which is suspicious.

Oh this was before he let his chest piercing reject all the way out in the grossest way

When schneider says Krankenhaus it sounds very Geordie and I'm convinced that kind of thing is why Auf Wiedersehen, Pet was created

Richards eyes light up when he's talking about the room he's in and it's one of those looks where it's just. I would love to listen to anything anyone has to say when their eyes have that sparkle.

"the scavengers had already been here" cue Paul talking about his criminal past thieving from there. See, another example everyone forgets of him being the biggest bastard of them all. The smile is a front.

One of my favourite ever Rammstein things is the combined joy and mockery from Paul when Richard is revealed to be wearing the bird mask and it wiggles as he nods. He looks like a little black cockatoo. Richard looks embarrassed to be wearing it but Paul is having the time of his LIFE.

The way is echoes in his mask makes him sound like he's clucking

Flakes glasses perching in his cone make him look like that sesame Street doctor or scientist

They all suit this make up so much and I wish they'd consider it as a stage look

Peck. Not intimidated.

Considering the nightmares Till has/had, ouch

Richard looks so much like a little vampire prince but like, a character from what we do in the shadows. He makes his own smokescreen entry/exist and everything.

Melanie!!!

Richard has many tendons in his neck huh.

The sounddd. I used to always be curious as to whether or not people in music videos were making the sounds it looks like they're making and now I know and I'm uncomfortable. This and also later when till does the heart

His laugh is never what I expect it to be

That uh. That doesn't look like he's in pain the way the injection sounds implied. At all. Not that I'm complaining but it gives mixed messages.

I'm so sure Richard is the only one I've ever heard use the word quasi. It makes sense for him if true but maybe I only notice because of the tone he uses? His is quite a punchy nasal tone it might just be more noticeable.

Till with kids is always the most adorable wonderful thing. He's really helping to keep them relaxed despite the creepiness of the stuff they're shooting.

"if you look at the cover then you'll recognise a morbidity to the whole thing" till, my darling, do you think people don't already ~see the morbidity~?

I googled and the lady doesn't pronounce renaissance with a g like Till does and that interests me. In fairness I have to assume it's like in Norwegian how words like restaurant are pronounced with a g sound because it's closer to the French sounds? It's not like we in English donut the French way either but the Google translate lady does. This is why I always suspect that when I'm learning a language I'm learning the language wrong and at some point I'll find out there's a Real, For Adults version if the language that's totally different. This is irrelevant. Accents are fun and I like being able to notice them.

It feels so strange seeing this knowing what Eugenio did

Paul taking pictures because he knows better than them

Something about a child saying "ah yes, I know Till and Flake very well" is hysterical.

You can feel the dismay and disapproval radiating off till as he tries to be diplomatic about the Spanish understanding of linear time. He struggles to find a positive and only comes up with the fire walls. "It should have gone out before we filmed anything because they were fucking around with the playback so long but it didn't" is his only compliment.

The German word for French is wild.

Do they know they could have hired an interpreter? Interpreters existed in 2012 I know this

This whole thing with Melanie is beautiful you can't deny that the arm Eugenio made with then was lovely.

Till in the dress with Melanie in his lap. I don't off the top of my head remember seeing it in either video so I simply must assume that it was just what he was wearing that day when he showed up. She's so tiny on his knee I'm glad they're still friends.

"you're left in a state of trauma when everyone stares at you all the time" did this need to get so heavy? It's interesting that he focused more on her voice than her appearance there, though in fairness it's pretty high

They all love her so much and it's totally understandable.

Mit rock n roll und cola trinken

I have to skip the screaming the secondhand embarrassment is too much.

Part 2

Again, this liveblog is so long

Sometimes Oli speaks like his body isn't used to talking.

I want, so badly, to know if Richard was having memories of his dreadlocked youth The tiny cup in his elegant hand is so pleading and then you look left and. It sure is something.

Are they freckles or acne scars across Tills shoulders?...cute. The first set of arm/chest wounds, not so much. I do spy his lil tummy scar

Richard does look like he almost swooped in for a kiss and then changed his mind because of the camera. Paul turns his head that way and then Richard tries to save with a step back and face rub (his own). Just saying.

The fact that a few of them have taken pictures on their personal phones warms my soul it's such a nice reminder that they're good friends outside of work and My Heart

Schneider and Paul ready at a moment's notice to be Dumbasses. J'adore.

What if Zoran was more of a background character tho actually

God, schneider is beautiful. An ethereal, pure beauty that exists no matter how he's being styled.

See okay how is flake almost taller than Oli right now he's not even doing his standard open legs and swan spine thing

It must be so hard to find Oli sized clothes. Flake is also tall and slim but he's a lot more leg, whereas Olis height seems largely to be torso. I have to assume a lot of his stuff is tailored or custom made now.

I always forget about the marks on tills back when he's in the nightmare dress

The child staring with great confusion at a bright red flake reading. I would love to know what his favourite books are.

The childs plural poking and prodding at a very patient Oli, who gracefully bends his spine in ways I've never seen a human do before. I wonder if he's ever dressed up as Lurch from the Addams family.

The actress playing the woman in this half is so beautiful and has a power her younger counterpart lacked when she was threatening him with her weapon.

I am a dummy and was like weird why is Paul speaking Norwegian. I know full well he wasn't saying unnskyld because I've heard Germans say their equivalent before and I assume Entschuldigen either sounds like that fast or shortens so what the fuck, rhi

Till guiding people through him murdering them is truly one of life's greatest pleasures. They trust him so completely. I would like to watch them dance the elegance would be astounding.

Paul lurking watching with what I choose to see as pride as till slaughters an old woman.

Paul being critical (again, as always, rightly so) of the hallway mouthing the lyrics decision.

"for this in prepared to make compromises" he says, hating every bitter word of it

I would like to know what he wanted to say about till and then see him get into trouble over it.

I would like to see till in a bouncy castle. He's adorable jumping into the comfy pit I want to see him in a bouncy castle. Child, utter child.

Paul takes every opportunity to say how hot he thinks they all are and I love that about him. Sometimes your friends are all hot and everybody needs to understand that fact.

Their approaches to pretending to play cello are all so uniquely them. Flake and Richard are taking the time to try and understand what they're being told, whereas Paul just fucking. Lays into it, attracting the weirdest looks from Oli. Richard looks beautiful with that cello and I think he should learn to play. For fun not for work. It's not just that he looks so handsome, but I think that's the easiest way to convince him. I think he'd be good at it, and not being the lead at something might be good for him.

I appreciate that Oli is skeptical because yeah they do all look like they've never held a cello before.

They do, however, all look lovely in their dresses. I'm trying but actually I can't not say that Schneiders little sternum dip makes it seem like he has breasts in that dress and it's a good look for him.

Till singing it in such a high voice, more like his speaking voice, is both interesting and lovely. Oli is trying... So little compared to the others. Laughably incorrect

Why yes, I am laughing at the sheer length of the spikes. They're just... They're so fucking long. So long.

Paul is actually probably the best one there, ironically. They're all comically out of time. They're professional musicians. I know they aren't used to bowed instruments I do understand and I don't want to be uncharitable but also they are struggling. I want to see cellists react to this.

Pretty dresses! And the nightmare but with the most awful and worst fingers! Like the Grinch but goth.

Both Schneider and Richard had the same neverending shoot idea and I am Intrigued.

Till waiting for Schneider with the umbrella :)

Wir brennen! Paul is always so happy to play with fire.

#rammstein #liveblog #dont talk about richards neck this isn't the time or place #me rambling #The Nightmare #vaguely #complete liveblog

[alo-piss-trancy]

Ok hi, I didn't wanna say anything, but please don't write knifeplay/bloodplay for Yuri. I def don't wanna spoil anything, but it's learned on a certain route that Yuri has a s*lf h*rm problem (I'll leave it at that).

You honestly seem like you're not trying to be a jerk with this ask, so I'm going to do my best to answer this as politely as possible without compromising my personal beliefs on the matter. This is going to be long and a little serious, but please note I'm not attacking you or trying to start a debate. I'm just laying all my thoughts on this down at once so I make myself clear, because a short answer would leave a lot of nuance out.

I understand what you're trying to do here. For the record though, I also considered that a pretty massive spoiler and I did not appreciate that at all. Even if you all think you're 'helping', don't do that again. Y/uri was pretty much the only character I'd managed to avoid most spoilers on and you killed the surprise for me. This game is already so full of fluffy 'filler' in the beginning that I don't have a ton of big plot points to look forward to in each route.

Now, I realise this is a very delicate topic and incredibly triggering to some people, especially with those two things combined. I am 100% willing to tag it with just about any variation needed to ensure you or others affected can blacklist/block it and never have to see a word of it in the future. I'd also be happy to go back and tag that original text post I made if needed. I mean that. You all are welcome to ask me to tag things anytime, and so long as you're polite about it I'm perfectly willing to oblige to the best of my ability in future posts! If I occasionally forget, just toss me a light reminder and I'll jump into editing and add it in.

That said, I want to make it clear that I am very firmly against censorship. I'm willing to take all necessary precautions to ensure people can curate their experiences on this blog and AO3, but at the end of the day I can still post whatever fictional stuff I choose to. As can anyone else. Same goes for more formally published media.

Now, it's entirely possible I would have gotten to that part of the game and decided 'oh dang, I'm not so enthused about that fic idea anymore...'. My whims and ideas change frequently, and what you mentioned is a heavy topic with a lot to unpack and process. It's also entirely possible that future plot would only provide more fuel.

Fyi, when I originally mentioned the knifeplay I was actually thinking a lot more along the lines of her doing it to the protagonist, not the reverse. But for the record, if I did choose to write it with focus on Y/uri, I would still be well within my rights to.

This next part of my answer is going to address some heavy topics, this is your warning!!!

Sometimes people's kinks are a way to take a thing that is personally scary or upsetting to them and find a way to reverse it. To find pleasure or power or get used to the idea of the awful thing in a safe, controlled fashion. I'm not going to go into the full details on this because there's plenty of explanation and research elsewhere already written up, as well as an excellent book on the subject, and I'm not turning this blog into a discourse debate. But I needed to mention it for my point.

There are plenty of stories that could be explored with Y/uri in this context. Did she have this kink before the self harm events started and it was completely unrelated, or did she develop it afterwards? How did she discover it beforehand? If developed afterwards, did it start out as another way of harming mixed with pleasure in a self-destructive way, often done sloppily and without proper technique? Or was it strictly used as almost exposure therapy to deal with those urges and thoughts in a safer, more contained scenario, maybe even allowing the partner she trusted to wield the knife to prove their bond/reinforce that she can be loved without being hurt deeply, that she is worthy of affection and trust and loyalty. Maybe this finally helps give Y/uri a tool to embrace her 'weirdness' without harming herself and others. Or, what if she thinks it can be a useful tool and is sure she's ready, but partway through the scene she gets triggered or has flashbacks... how does she deal with it? How does her partner? Can it be overcome with effort, research, and taking things slowly, or does she realize this kink is actually completely off the table for her?

What if she has this kink and is excited to try it, but her partner isn't? How does she take that rejection? Or do her poor social skills mean she skipped negotiation to begin with and attempted it in the middle of a vanilla session? Would her partner freak out or even get mad, or try to swallow their fear and let her do it so they don't hurt/offend her, even at the cost of their own comfort?

This topic also opens a ton of potential plots for darkfic, but I'll refrain from discussing that out of respect for you and others.

So as you can see, there's much more to explore than 'Knife=Hot'. I believe those discussions and ideas are necessary and provide important fuel for thought when explored fictionally, especially since mainstream media doesn't cover a lot of them.

~~~

I feel I should take a second to clarify knifeplay for those who may be unaware. It doesn't always equate to actual cutting/drawing blood. That can be an aspect, but usually only by those far more experienced and, you know, actually into that. A lot of participants don't actually go that far. Mostly, it's either about the physical sensation of the knife touching you at all, or the adrenaline/controlled fear and intimate trust of a partner bringing an object like that so close/teasing you with it.

In fact, it's frequently advised in those circles (especially to newcomers) to use a dull butterknife instead, because it simulates the same feelings of metal on skin/can dig in a little without any real risk of cutting/drawing blood. Even if one chooses to use a different knife, it's still pretty common to dull the blade, or some people even substitute with a closed pair of scissors (combined with the partner blindfolded, you can't really tell it apart from the real thing).

These versions of knifeplay are well controlled and ultimately pretty harmless, so long as both parties know what they're doing and stay alert. And more experienced players with sharper knives are even more cautious/have studied extensively to know where/how deep to go without risking scarring/serious injury.

Remember the golden rules of kink: Safe. Sane. Consensual.

With those in place, it is not nearly the same as self harm. Just as controlled, consensual, well-negotiated BDSM with safewords, respected boundaries and a trusted partner is never in the same league as abuse.

~~~

Now that that's out of the way, back to my point:

There's no perfect representation or narrative for everyone, in any group (be that gender/sexuality/triggered by certain things, etc). Every human being is different, everyone interprets media differently, and everyone takes away different elements from stories.

What one person in a particular group may find cathartic, relateable, or painful but necessary food for thought, another may find completely repulsive, personally hurtful, offensive, something they can't stand to hear. And guess what? Both of those can be true at the same time. One side is not immediately right over the other.

There are queer characters or interpretations of them in fics that I vehemently despise, might even find hurtful or sickening and think 'how can anyone create this, it's insufferable! People in 'my group' aren't like that, it's a horrible representation. I can't relate to it at all!' But you know what? Other people can and do, may find comfort in those exact narratives and experiences, may heal their pain instead of inflicting more. And that's great. It's what they needed or wanted and if I don't like it, I click away and do my best to avoid it.

There are specific tropes and narrative themes I personally cannot get through without being triggered into anxiety attacks or dragged back to bad times and places in my life. Sometimes I see them tackled in ways that are hurtful or seem insensitive to me. But I recognise that for someone else, it's exactly what they needed to see to get through that or come to terms with it, or see a way they wish that thing could play out. I would never dream of telling those people they aren't allowed to enjoy it, OR telling the creator of that piece of media or a tv show 'Hey ummm please don't use this plot because it turns me into a human wreck for a week'. Because it's not remotely my place to do so. They can create whatever they want, they have no responsibility towards me or my well being. A few might be kind enough to include a warning at the beginning of that episode or in the description, but they are in no way required to. It's up to me to curate my experience and try to keep my guard up/research what might have those tropes, and in the rare occasions I get blindsided, yeah, it hurts like hell. I struggle, I might even backslide a bit. But I just have to try my best to deal with it and make a note to be more careful next time. Because you can't control the world around you, not even the online world, and you have absolutely no right to. The only right you have is to protect yourself without infringing on other people's boundaries/rights.

And there's also another important point. There doesn't have to be a big important point or explanation for why a creator creates something, or why consumers can enjoy that creation! If someone wants to create a plotline with all of my triggers used in the most 'insensitive', 'wrong', pointless ways possible, strictly for Entertainment or pure kink material instead of some deep dissection of the issues involved? They can go hog wild!!! They are 100% allowed to do so on this earth, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) do a thing to stop them.

One person can read a kink fic and it hits a very emotional theme for them/they think it explores a deep topic well. Another person can read that same fic and get nothing out of it except their rocks off. Both of those readers are completely equal and 'allowed' to enjoy that fic. Both reasons are completely valid reasons for why the creator was 'allowed' to post/create that fic in the first place. Nobody needs permission, nobody has to answer to anybody except themselves. Period. This extends to any topic, any type of fic.

Yes, even for things I find absolutely abhorrent and insensitive and don't understand/want to read ever. I may resent everything about its existence, but I will defend to death the creator's right to make it exist in the first place.

It only affects me if I let it affect me. If someone's making content I despise or am upset by and can't handle, I can choose to ignore or avoid them, blacklist those tags, I can block them and move on with my day. I can do anything within my own bubble, but the second I consider going into their bubble and saying they can't make that thing, I am in the wrong. Because I'm not respecting their space and rights.

If someone makes cookies with ingredients I'm highly allergic to, pastes the ingredient warnings all over the box where I read them, and I still eat one, would anyone cheer me on for blaming them when I have a reaction? Would anyone think it was remotely okay of me to start calling up every bakery in town and saying they weren't allowed to bake those cookies EVER, because some people somewhere might be allergic?

No. They'd tell me I was crossing the line, because I'm infringing on other people's boundaries and lives. I'm expecting everybody else to take responsibility for something that, while horrible and painful, was my fault for touching.

Now, if someone sets out unlabelled cookies not realizing I'm allergic to something in them, and I eat it and have a reaction, that sucks. It's an awful experience. But is it the baker's fault? As long as they didn't do it maliciously, not really. They can be advised politely to label it in the future, and I can do my best to remember to ask/be more cautious next time I come across something I'm unsure of, but they're still allowed to bake those cookies for themselves and others.

Now, if I deliberately baked cookies with an ingredient that people are very frequently allergic to (ex. peanuts) and set it out in a crowded buffet without a warning label, that's a jerk move. That's intentionally trying to cause harm to others. But simply baking that flavour of cookies still isn't a crime or harmful by itself.

~~~

I'll be honest, I'm running out of steam and I think I've said most of what I have to say, so I'll wrap it up. I want to reiterate that I'm not ripping into you with this long answer, anon! I understand why you sent me what you did and I'm trying not to come off as harsh. I'm happy to go back and tag things and will tag anything else similar in the future!!! But at the end of the day, regardless of whether I personally end up writing that fic or not, or even want to after I get to that plot, I don't agree with telling anyone they can't/shouldn't write it at all. I wanted to try and explain my viewpoint thoroughly, and I hope you can respect that, just as I'll respect and try to accommodate you and other followers. This is the only time I'll really get up on a soapbox like this, and I have no interest in debating these things on my blog further, but it is a topic I've been passionate about all my life so I'm afraid I'm not budging on it.

#bear gets a letter #not omo #tw knives #tw knifeplay #tw cutting #tw self harm #d/dlc spoilers

[mynameispuppy]

Talking in Summer  [Chapter 2]

A/N: I decide to change from first person to mainly second person in my writing  ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Sitting at my desk feet swinging over the edge of my chair, I hear a loud ping from my phone. Looking down at the bright light coming from my side table I see a notification from an unknown number.

[Unsaved #] 7:36pm

Is this (y/n)?

Picking up my (color) phone I try to formulate a response.

[Me]7:37pm

Maybe. Who is this?

[Unsaved #]7:37pm

You're the one who gave me your number.

'OH SHOOT it's that...uh that guy... What's his name?'

[Me]7:37pm

My apologies, what was your name again?

[Unsaved #]7:38pm

Tenko.

'thats a pretty rare name for a boy' you start to think to yourself. Your conversation started out slow however, talking late into the night you realize that Tenko and you have very much in common in ways of thinking and hobbies. You tap into your quirk "curse" so you can pull an all nighter with him. Both of you find out that you both like the same fighting game and decide to play; he mercilessly beats me every single time.

                                             ❁     ❁     ❁

[Me]1:47am

Aw geez defeated again (｡•́︿•̀｡)

[Tenko]1:47am

GG.

He didn't seem to be much with words but you enjoyed having his company. The only local friend you have is Yumeshi your co-worker, she has a boyfriend as well as a different friend group so she didn't have a lot of free time for hanging out.

Around 3am Tenko tells you he needs to dip so snuggling into bed you try to rest but still feel awfully energetic. Getting up you start to make a bento box for no particular reason. Watching some random cable television and doodling finding ways to waste your time. Haveing today off since its Saturday decide to debate on what to do, 'maybe somewhere fun? Like a park or aquarium... Alone like a loser? Maybe I should just sleep all day.'

Starting to pout to myself I flop back down on my futon bed.

'nononono I will NOT waste the day!' I shout at myself and flop around like a fish. "Quick nap then I'll start the day" I say to confirm the plan in mind.

                                               ❁     ❁     ❁

He had googled her name immediately,  (Y/n) (l/n). Couldn't get much information other than your overwhelming awards on the swim team and some academic praises. The name of your high school, your interests, each piece of information made him feel electrified; even powerful. He was learning so much about you without you even knowing. Growing in his throat, a lump, which could only be interpreted as grotesque titillation. He had to know more.

Shigaraki was shocked when you approached him. The mall, his frequent hangout spot. Where he had noticed a couple of regulars but none who had such a synchronized schedule with him than you.

He was fascinated in why you reached out to him. Maybe you knew who he was? or his pure villainous prowess seemed to radiate off of him and attract you. He doubted that, you had a wholesome air to you.

Sniffing around in the yellow books he was able to snatch your address with no issue. He started to feel heavy....paranoid. What if you were a spy or you were out to get him. Catching at his neck like a flea infested dog he started scraping dry skin and feeling warm wounds start to open up. Peaking at his phone to get the time he sees it's about noon, the sun is high in the sky and warm just like the day prior. [after he had stopped texting you he had a brilliant idea to wait outside your apartment].

Sitting outside the cement walls of your apartment complex Shigaraki's ears perk up when he hears the clanging of a metal gate as he stands inconspicuously around the corner. Peeking around the corner he catches a glimpse of your (h/c) hair dancing behind you are you quickly make your way down the sidewalk.

Tomura paces himself behind you almost as if you were prey to a wanting predator.

His inquisitive learning gaze locked on every movement you made, brushing your hair back, checking your phone, everything.

You start to turn down a familiar route and the park you guys met at yesterday comes into view. 'she doesn't SEEM to be doing anything suspicious I guess it was idiotic to worry about such a girl' shigaraki watches as you place yourself in the shade and proceed to take out a homemade bento. Enjoying the warmth and watching some kids play soccer. Tomura turns to leave 'this is a waste of time... she's not doing anything suspicious' he assures himself but finds that his body doesn't want him to leave. He's still curious about the girl who extended her friendship to him, the most unwelcoming looking person on earth. Why?

[Me]12:31pm

Hello.

'what am I doing!?'

As Shigaraki peers over the warm bark of the trees he's conveniently hiding behind he sees you pick up your phone at the vibration

[(Y/N)]12:32pm

Hi Tenko, how are you? ｡^‿^｡

[Me]12:32

Bored.

[(Y/N)] 12:32pm

Well I'm at that park from yesterday if you care to join me!

Closing his phone he focuses back over in your direction watching you gently eat your rice as if you savored every grain an ethereal goddess. Letting out a shiver Tomura's whole body swarms with goosebumps.

'thats new' he takes note.

Shigaraki made sure to make you wait for a full 10 minutes before emerging into the open to approach you, he wanted it to seem....natural.

                                                ❁     ❁     ❁

Seeing your new friend approach starts to make you feel giddy inside. The thought of finally having company felt so foreign to you.

Quickly getting him comfortable next you and offering some bento which he declined you sit through an awkwardly long silence before the thin veil of silence finally being shattered with Shigaraki's raspy tone,

"You seem....like a nice person." you cock your head unable to figure out if that was a compliment or not because of his tone.

"Thank you? You do too" trying to return polite words. You notice that his gaze shifts from the horizon down to his lap in a dissapointed manner.

"Why don't we get some crepes! I know a place around here" you bounce to your feet.

With Tomura sluggishly in pursuit "ok" he utters to you in an uninterested drawl.

                                                  ❁     ❁    ❁   

The trip to the sweet shop was quiet but peaceful and relaxing. You felt at ease with your new friend. Once you both ordered your crepes, you started to discuss things like world views and morals and for the most part you seemed to agree on things oddly enough.

You and Tenko talked long into the evening, you even got him to chuckle once and when the time came he politely walked you home. "Thank you so much for the good day, I'm glad we could become friends" you give him a polite nod. "Yeah, it wasn't bad at all." He answers back and for a split second you think you can see the smallest smile in the corner of his lips. You give him a polite bow before pivoting around to leaving for your front gate.

'it wasn't bad at all' you repeat to yourself as you feel the tingling of joy arise from your body.

#shigaraki tenko #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura #boku no hero academia shigaraki #shigaraki fanfiction #bnha #my hero academia

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 83)

"Snoozing Through Sayreville"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@crystalbaby12

In Sam's room, Luna wastes no time. Popping two bars herself, she hands two to her friend. They've spent many early mornings like this. Coming back to homebase and rounding down from an AllNighter together.

Luna showers first. She feels like hot horse shit. Still catching trails in the bathroom, she washes the grit from last night off of her.

Leaning under the water, she wishes her skin could absorb it's hydration. They've only been on tour for 10 days but Luna's exhausted. Her body physically hurts, her brain feels like mush and she's emotionally wiped out. The constant fighting, traveling, drinking and drug use starting to take it's toll.

Once out of the shower, she tosses on panties, a tank and a hotel robe. Climbing into the queen sized bed, she rolls up a handful of joints as Sam showers.

Curling up together, Luna fires up a joint as Sam finds something for them to watch. Looking at her friend, she asks if She's Okay.

Exhaling out a cloud of smoke, Luna says "Yeah. I just need a hard reset." To Sam's nod of understanding.

Mrs. Doubtfire is own. It's one of their favorite movies. Getting high, laughing and enjoying each other's company. Luna's thankful for Sam's companionship as the two girls snuggle into bed. Quickly falling asleep. Knocking out for the rest of the day.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson does no such thing. Still pissed and now even more confused by Luna, he can't sleep. He's out of coke and doesn't know what to do with himself. Not thinking to grab any Xanax off of his bitchy girlfriend.

With everyone checked into their rooms, Colson heads back to The Bus. Cracking a beer at 9A instead of sleeping, he plays NBA2K19 until he passes out with the controller in his hands.

-------------------------------------------------

Ashleigh finds him around 430P. Waking him up, he's miserable.

"Leave me the fuck alone. Unless it's 7P, don't fucking bother me." He grumbles, walking to the back of The Bus.

Dropping face first into the bed, all he smells is Luna. His dick twitches and heart hurts as he reaches his arm out, over her empty space.

"What the fuck are we doin', Loons..." He thinks, wishing she wasn't so stubborn and him not an Asshole. Wanting her next to him more than anything in this world.

For once his brain refuses to slide down the 16 million different hallways of Hotel Diablo. Falling back asleep as he holds a pillow. Pretending it's smell is Luna.

-------------------------------------------------

Ashleigh knocks on Sam's door next. Knowing its more likely for her than Sam, Luna gets up. Sam snoozing away.

She's groggy and unhappy but isn't nearly as intolerable as Colson. Probably because she believes in sleep. Greeting Ashleigh, Luna yawns, asking What Time Is It.

It's around 5-530P.

Stretching long, Luna motions Ashleigh to sit with her on the couch. Wrapped in a blanket, she lights a joint and asks her What's Up.

"Couple things...." Ashleigh begins. "You okay?" She asks to Luna's nod.

Luna takes a deep hit. Appreciating Ashleigh's concern.

Exhaling, she says "Yeah, I just need a minute to myself.... Sorry you got left with that nonsense last night." Luna apologizes as she hits the joint again.

Ashleigh grins. "You'd be proud of me. I'm pretty sure I got anyone who saw anything to sign a NDA. Even Bleta. I was gonna contact Monica on your behalf but wanted to talk to you first."

There's a lot of things said in that one sentence. It takes Luna's fuzzy mind a second to understand them all.

"OH WOW!! You did that for me?" She grins back at Ashleigh, touched by her actions. "Look at you go, Girl! Thank you!" Luna reaches to hug her friend.

That's when it hits her.

"Wait... What do you mean Bleta?" She asks as her whole facial expression changes.

Not realizing Luna doesn't know who BeBe Rexha is personally, she panics at her words.

"Yeah, Loons. That's who you hit last night..." She says cautiously.

"He had Bleta at the fucking show!?" The Ring of Fire is wild in Luna's eyes.

"No.. No.. No.. SHE told ME, he didn't know she was there until he seen her..." Ashleigh's trying not to make things worse.

Sighing before she hits the joint again. Luna shakes her head with a Whatever. Her and Ashleigh sit quietly for a moment.

"He didn't know, Loons." Ashleigh tries to comfort her.

"I know...." Luna closes her eyes as she exhales another cloud of smoke. "Fuck her. I'll call Mon and let her know what I did. She'll probably want the NDA's..." Luna looks at Ashleigh. "Thank you, Ash. Really. You didn't have to stick your neck out for me like that. It means a lot." Reaching to hug her again.

"It's no problem, Loons. You're family." She hugs her back, pulling away, she laughs. "Besides, I learned it from you."

This makes Luna smile. Hitting the last of the joint, she puts it out.

"Tell me about Diddy and Massachusetts." Luna says, changing the subject.

Ashleigh goes on to explain how it's seeming to be a domestic dispute. Some guy tossed a Moltav cocktail because his Ex was there with someone else.

"Fucking seriously?" Luna asks in disbielf.

Shaking her head, she reaches for another joint. Ashleigh noticing for the first time that Luna smokes just as much as Colson. If not more.

Luna goes on to ask about casualties. Ashleigh replying that about a hundred people received smoke inhalation. In a building with over 4K people in it, That's Amazing, they agree. Luna thinks for a minute as she hits the joint.

"All fans?" She asks to Ashleigh's nod. "You know what I'd do?" Luna exhales again.

"Nope, but I want to!" She replies, making them both laugh.

"Find out exactly who the victims are, collect enough merch and have him sign it. Along with a personalized Get Well note.." Luna says as she continues to hit the joint.

"How are you so fucking business savvy??" Ashleigh asks her in awe.

Smiling, Luna acknowledges how she has a collective village of teachers. From all different ranges and walks of life.

Finishing up, Luna walks Ashleigh to the door. She's gonna see what she can get started on with this merch idea.

"So, we won't see you tonight?" Ashleigh asks her.

"Nah... Probably not. I'm taking the day." Luna says as she hugs Ashleigh before shutting the door.

"Who's Bleta?" Sam groans from under the covers.

"She has so many freaking questions..." Luna thinks, rolling her eyes.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson's still frustrated before the show. Trying not to take his shit out on anyone else, he finds a cinderblock outside. With it resting on his thighs, he does backwards pushes ups off the seat of a chair.

"I can't believe she's not fucking coming..." He thinks to himself, irritated. He misses Luna and wants to stop fighting with her. "I gotta talk to her after the show.... I still wanna know why the Fuck she was with Tommy." He feels the jealousy rise again as he pumps his upper body off the edge of the chair.

--------------------------------------------------

Sam and Luna are sitting on the balcony of her room. Luna smoking a cigarette.

Trying to relax, enjoying the light air as she sketches. It's an interpretation of what she feels from last night.

Sam playing around on her phone. Falling down an internet wormhole as she lights a joint.

Once Ashleigh left, Luna and Sam had sat together talking about her and Colson and getting high. For the first time ever, Luna told someone other than Colson about Tommy. If Sam is going to form an opinion on Colson, Luna wants it to be based on all the facts. Sam was only slightly surprised at the news of Luna's affair. Looking back, certain things making sense to her about Luna at certain times that didn't before. They talked about Bleta and how Luna didn't realize it was her. Sam asking if it made any difference. Looking down, Luna had touched her homemade ring before stating No. She's not worried about any other girls. Especially THAT one.

"Oh Fuck, Loons... You're gonna be pissed...." Sam says handing Luna her phone.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"MACHINE GUN KELLY AND GIRLFRIEND, THAT BROOKLYN BITCH TO BE WED AT RAPPER'S OHIO FESTIVAL IN AUGUST"

"Musician Machine Gunn Kelly, also known as MGK, is kicking his latest tour off with a bang! Last night in his girlfriend, That Brooklyn Bitch's hometown of NY, MGK surprised his fans after performing their hit single Bad Things together at the PlayStation Theatre. Revealing that he would be marrying the songstress this summer. Some considering this announcement shockingly quick. The couple have only been spotted together since late April. The New York native first appearing on The Dirt star's SnapStories and Instagram during his birthday party in LA. Surprisingly, that doesn't seem to be the biggest bang of the night. One source reporting that, the beef between That Brooklyn Bitch and BeBe Rexha is alive and well. The two Brooklyn residents having come for each other on the charts already, over what is assumed to be their relationships with the heavily tattooed, rapper turned actor. Reportedly, the fued spilled out into a scene BackStage after the concert last night. "It wasn't in BeBe's favor." The source from the performance stating."

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"THIS. Is what I was talking about last night in the cab." Luna sighs. She hands Sam her phone. "I'm going back to bed."

Is almost eight o'clock at night.

-------------------------------------------------

Tonight, they're playing the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ.

For the most part, Colson can put his shit on the back burner and do his job. That's what he does tonight.

Letting Slim and Sex Drive hype the crowd, Colson stops being Colson, or Kells or even Dad. Becoming Machine Gun Kelly.

"WHAT'S GOOD, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!" He screams walking out on to the stage to his adoring fans.

Starting off with the normal formula of Habits, Breaking News 2 and El Diablo. Colson jumps, dances and kicks around the stage as him and The Band tear through Loco, GTS, and Wild Boy. Skipping Let You Go and Bad Things.

Trap Paris and The Break Up replace them. Followed by I'm Think I'm Okay, Hollywood Whore and Candy. Choosing to keep all the original lyrics.

Rook shines as always during Shout At The Devil. The crowd going wild for him.

They still have another eleven songs left to the set. MGK keeps pushing.

-------------------------------------------------

Luna wakes back up around 930P. Sam's up, diddling around. Missing Colson, Luna asks her if she wants to hit the show.

Grinning, Sam nods Yes.

Looking at the clock, they move fast and get dressed. Sam ordering an uber. Luna throwing on a back, lace crop top, cutoffs, Docs, and a flannel around her waist with blazing red lips.

Grabbing her leather and bag, Luna and Sam are out the door. Luna's golden hair loosley floating behind them as Sam's brunette locks weave along with it.

-------------------------------------------------

As the room cheers and lights explode around them, The Band continues on. See Through My Tears, Rap Devil, Till I Die, Golden God, Alpha Omega, and Lately come next.

With this leg's setlist pretty secure, they round out with Bad Motherfucker, Wake&Bake, Rehab, 27 and Sail.

The Band thinks they're done as Colson stands alone on stage with only his guitar. Everyone quiets as he begins to pick out unknown chords.

"I don't know if you guys'll know this but, I'm... You know what, Fuck it. I just wanna sing this shit right now." He says to the audience. Turning to The Band, he says "Imma do this on my own." To their confused nods.

He starts to play the base melody of a song he's been featured on. It's original tone is poppy with a lot of studio tech. To figure it out raw, OnStage alone, is pretty intimidating.

Colson takes his time. He's in no rush. Feeling like he's got it, he begins. Opening at the end of the chorus by The Vamps, Colson voice is deep and melodic. It carries a hint of vulnerability.

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

He closes his eyes as he thinks of Luna and where he wants to start.

🎶I don't go to church🎶

🎶Cuz your my religion🎶

🎶I'm hung on your words🎶

🎶Given' me something🎶

🎶To believe in🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

The feeling of the song is showcased against only his guitar and demeanour. He mixes and changes the lyrics to fit how he feelings. Voice crawling over the words.

🎶Kitten, I know you don't lie🎶

🎶When you say🎶

🎶That you mine🎶

🎶I can't look in those eyes🎶

🎶Without fallen'🎶

🎶A thousand times🎶

🎶Just wanna hear you testify🎶

🎶Kitten, tell me you don't lie🎶

🎶When you say🎶

🎶That you'll be mine🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

Wishing Luna was where she should be. Sitting next to him. His voice slightly breaking through the chorus.

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

His guitar humming his pain.

Thinking of how hollow his lyrics were when he wrote them, he kicks them out now. Thoughts drifting to their new meaning.

🎶I shut down for you//I go in//I dove in//And drown in you//They should be crowning you//Cuz//You're way to good to be true//Hold up, hold up//Ay//Please don't hesitate//Take me//While there's still something//Left to take//Kitty you're all that I crave//Tell me how many days//Do I have to chase you//Do I have to chase//Before you let me//Let me taste you//Before I can say//All I wanna say//To you//Is//I can't escape//I cannot escape from you🎶

Looking over SideStage, he sees her. Doing a double take. "Holy Fuck, she came." He can't help but feel his eyes begin to sting with tiny tears. That first cosmic boner appearing again.

🎶Kitten...You are way too good to be true🎶

He says as grins at her as they make eye contact.

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

Colson finishes serenading Luna to the crowds sweet Awws.

------------------------------------------------

Colson and Luna head back to the hotel. Holding hands in the uber the whole ride. Grabbing her things from Sam's room, he guides her to theirs. They need to talk.

"Sit with me, please." She directs him, patting the bed.

Sitting next to her, he sighs. Colson knows Luna is about to rip into him. They've been fighting on and off over bullshit for the last few days. She turns to him, lacing her fingers in his. Always choosing her words wisely.

"I went to see Tommy yesterday because I own properties that he's invested in. It's something Monica ran between us for a long time until I seen him a couple weeks ago. Like I told you, he started texting me. I took being in The City as an opportunity to let him know that if things can't go back to strictly business, then there will be NO business...." Luna explains.

Colson's quiet for a moment. He wants to ask what she does for Tommy but Luna's a lot calmer then he had expected. He's pretty sure he knows the answer and doesn't wanna push fighting with her.

"As for Em..." Luna continues, she's hitting everything. "We were friends. And I say were because I'm pretty we're not anymore, which, it is what it is...." Luna looks Colson in his beautiful blue eyes. "I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about YOU.... Why are you still so hellbent that I'm out here doggen' you?" She asks.

Colson lays back on the bed. Sighing, he rubs his face. Luna lays next to him on her back. They stare at the ceiling together.

"I'm sorry about Bleta." He finally speaks. "I swear I didn't know she would be there. I should've told her to leave. I wasn't gonna do anything. I was jealous though and wanted to piss you off." He turns his head to look at her.

"I know...." Luna sighs, running her fingers through his blonde hair.

He rolls over to her, placing his arm around her waist. She can see remorse all over his face.

"I should've never shoved you either. I don't know what I was thinking..." He looks down with shame.

Colson doesn't believe in putting his hands on women. Never wanting to hurt Luna in any way. Especially physically.

"That was some dick shit..." She agrees as he looks up at her.

"I know... I'm fucked up. I just, sometimes I feel like you're gonna figure out that I'm not good enough for you..." He trails off, Luna watching his eyes well.

Luna pushes him onto his back as she climbs on top of him. Random blonde hairs dangling down and brushing his face. She kisses him sweetly on both cheeks.

Looking into his eyes, she reminds him how only his actions can make him lose her. He tells her, that's his biggest fear. Fucking shit up as usual.

"Bunny... We're both two fucked up souls living in a fish bowl... stuck on your counter in LA." She winks to his smirk. "We're always gonna be crazy. We're always gonna be jealous. It's because we're stupid in love with each other. I don't care that we fight. As long as we come back to this." She flicks her fingers between them.

Colson lifts up to run his hands alongside Luna's head, pulling her in for a kiss. His touch is electric. Making a flash of warmth run through her. She kisses him back as her hands roam down his body.

Taking each other's shirts off, Colson flips Luna onto her back. Kissing her all over her neck, she has on no bra. Moving down her chest, to her breasts and nipples, he slides a hand down Luna's shorts. Running his fingers along her bare pussy. Slowly dipping them inside of her to her moans.

"I missed you." He tells her as he sucks on her neck.

"Me too. So much." She agrees as she moves his mouth to hers.

Wiggling out of her shorts. He unbuttons and steps out of his. Gazing down at Luna's naked, tattooed body.

Climbing on top of her, he slowly guides himself inside her pussy. They rarely fuck missionary style. Letting the touch of each other consume them, Luna and Colson are delicate with each other. Another rarity.

"God, you feel so fucking good." He moans.

Taking slow, deep strokes inside of her. Luna's leg is wrapped around his waist, the other around his calf as she lifts her hips. Pulling him deeper into her.

Feeling close, their pace picks up. Kisses sloppier. Moans loader.

Gripping his skin as he kisses her mouth, Colson asks if she's ready. Luna pants out Yes as he places his hand on her throat.

Bucking hard against him, Luna's eyes roll back in her head as Colson slides into Home. Both of them cumming all over the other.

Breathing heavily, Colson lays on her chest, wrapping his himself around her tiny body. Happy to have her back in his bed and in his arms.

"I love you." He tells her, kissing her collarbone. She hums a satisfied Me Too.

Lifting off of her, he asks if Luna's hunger. Realizing she hasn't eaten all day, she responds with a Starving.

They order room service. Burgers, fries, pineapples and champagne.

Sipping on champagne after they've eaten. They snuggle up together. Enjoying the quiet moment away from the tour.

"I'm sorry I'm so fucked up." Colson turns to Luna apologizing again. He spins his finger around the top of his head like a halo. "Hotel Diablo..." He says.

"You should get that tatted on there." Luna laughs, slightly mocking him.

Eyes lighting up, he runs with it. "Yeah?" He asks.

Luna shrugs and asks "Why not?"

Nodding his head, the doors begin to unlock inside Hotel Diablo. Pulling her close for an amused kiss, he calls her a genius.

"An evil one." She laughs, kissing him back.

"Even better!" He beams while tickling her.

They spend the rest of the night in bed together. Getting high as they giggle. Making out as they watch Talladega Nights.

"She really is mine." Colson thinks as Luna lays on his chest. He can see his ring on her finger and feel his lock around her neck touching his skin. A wave of relief washes over him. Never being in love before and always feeling abandoned, Colson holds Luna a little tighter. He knows in his heart that she'd never willingly leave him without a fierce fight.

Colson sweetly makes love to Luna again before they fall asleep tangled in each other. Both relieved to be back with the other. Each hating when they're apart.

------------------------------------------------

To be continued....

#colson baker smut #mgk smut #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker imagines #colsonbaker #colson baker x reader #colson baker #mgk x reader #mgk imagine #mgk #mgk fanfic #machinegunkelly #machine gun kelly #lunatic #love story #longstory #long reads #drugs #not safe for minors #not safe for tumblr #no filter #so sweet #est #est 19xx #est19xx #est4life #fanfic #fantasy #fangirl #fandom