#this is 100% a joke and not a serious post

[il-predestinato]

am i going to take charles answering "verstappen" without a second of hesitation when the letter "v" came up as a ... 😏 victory over sebchal - you know, the man who was actually his teammate for 2 years on his beloved horse team?

hell yes i am 😈

#lestappen #charles leclerc #this is 100% a joke and not a serious post #psa: please don't harrass s-e-b-c-h-a-l shippers! #elle.txt #grill the grid 2023

[theorderofthetriad]

anyways... here's why i think Loki and Matt Murdock should be each other's narrative foil(romantic):

• Loki- famously known liar, Matt Murdock- able to tell when people are lying

• Both wear helmets with horns on them, but Matt's are small and practical and Loki's are large and gaudy.

• Matt Murdock- Practicing Irish Catholic, Loki- Norse "God" of Mischief

• Loki- Presents himself as selfish and self preserving, Matt Murdock- Presents himself as selfless and self sacrificing

• Loki- Will flee if he knows he's gonna get his ass kicked for no gain, Matt Murdock- Knows he's gonna get his ass kicked for no gain and does it anyway

• They simply seem like prime material for a "We vehemently dislike each other up until we (whoops!) realize we love each other so much we can't live without the other" type romance that I am always obsessed over.

• Thor would enjoy it, and, frankly, he deserves the entertainment.

#this WAS a rant i made about some ao3 discourse i saw on my dash. but now it's better #frostdevil #<- the ship tag which you should check out #im fully serious about this btw. this seems like a joke bc it's inherently funny but im also 100% not making a joke #otp: horned helms something about lying #santagno #loki #matt murdock #daredevil #Top Tino Post

[kyouka-supremacy]

Paying more attention to the words now and like. does that mean Akutagawa gives the chocolate on valentine's day and Atsushi on white day. No you have to understand that's an extremely important piece of information that is fundamental to get their characterization no wait don't leave I need to kno—

#I don't want to bother the other person who posted this by reblogging this a thousand times #but I WILL talk about this forever unfollow me now. No seriously this got me more hyped than anything the anime dropped so far??? #I am so so starved for Beast sskk and I love them so much I think about them every day girl I need them to breathe 😭😭😭 #On a different note I hope they drop a better quality version very soon I can't work with this... #bsd #bungou stray dogs #The caption is not a joke btw this is now Beast verse canon for me I'm 100% serious #THEY are the reason I'm still stuck in this fandom no joke #ryūnosuke akutagawa #atsushi nakajima #sskk #bsd beast #bsd analysis #mine

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

I recently found out that Native People in the American continent have their own name for it, which is Abya Yala.

Anyway, wouldn't it be nice if we started to support their right for self determination and freedom from the oppression of colonial rule? Wouldn't it be nice if we support the complete and immediate abolition of all colonizer countries, which are *checks notes* every single country in the American continent plus the island ones? Wouldn't it be nice if we started telling all the settlers, conquistadors and immigrants to Go Back To Where They Came From? Wouldn't it be nice if we started chanting in the streets and online for the cleansing of the continent from all non-Native people? Wait, that sounds kind of extreme, doesn't it? But what if it rhymed? Everyone knows that if it rhymes it's true and justified right? So maybe the American continent should be free, you know, maybe from shore to shore... no, no. From sea to sea, that's it! What a great cause! And great causes are worth fighting for by all means, right? Obviously, I do not support violence at all, but like wouldn't it be justified if Native People were to become violent in their fight for freedom? I mean, think of the history for a moment, what brought them to this moment? And could you blame them? After all, shouldn't freedom be fought for by all means necessary? Wouldn't you support their claim?

Anyway.

From Sea To Shiny Sea Abya Yala Will Be Free.

#wouldn't it be nice if this becomes a trend #this is a 100% a post against idiotic westerners that call jews colonizers in their ancestral homeland #and funny enough this is not against people who actually support the abolition of all colonizer countries in the world #you people are still antisemitic idiots who know nothing about jews or our history but at least you are consistent which i can respect #but like i also don't see you hopping on the first flight back to where you came from so what's stopping you darlings? #and just to be clear since i support every people's right for self determination including both the palestinians and the jewish people #i would support every single native nation's claim for independence #but unlike you self righteous westerners i actually don't support violence and not just when it's convenient for me #so this is both a joke and a hundred percent serious but like i said obviously sans the violence #i would support negotiations and reparations but never war #and i would never ever support terrorism #so why would you? #jumblr #jewish things #free abya yala #from sea to shiny sea abya yala will be free #abya yala #social issues #politics #us history #american history #history

[drbtinglecannon]

Mattholomule bi canon

(art by Emmy on Twitter!)

#toh #toh spoilers #toh mattholomule #matt tholomule #gustholomule #ok but legit the 2 times he does the sparkle hair flip its to gus & roka. it means something i know it #this is a joke post but also 100% serious #matt projecting what kinda guy roka must be dating... hot & buff huh matt? #tc posts #anyway idk why anyone hated mattholomule hes the funniest weird little side guy in the show

[olowan-waphiya]

down with cottagecore, hobbitcore is where it's at.

why be a colonialist fantasy when you can be about living in a cute hole in the ground???

#cupid.txt #i made this post in april and its been in my drafts bc im hesitant to open a can of worms #but i think its still real #not that jrrt didnt have his issues but its more cozy high-fantasy and less homesteading colony-core #this is a joke for legal reasons #but also im 100% serious #dont @ me or start shit im not interested

[nekosaskia-v2]

Potentially spicy take: Cis girl chasers are generally speaking not even the same species as male chasers. I don't know whether it's something about feminine socialization, the general societal pressure to be ashamed of your sexuality as a woman, internalized predatory lesbian trope, or something completely different. But every single interaction I've had with a female chaser has been so much more initially innocuous and like normal flirting.

Compared to male chasers who will just slide into your DM's calling you pet names you did not consent to, usually accompanied by an equally nonconsensual dick pic, and immediately openly sexualizing/fetishizing you. (Also sorry not sorry, but some trans girls on this site need to check themselves, because they exhibit this exact same behavior towards other trans girls under the guise of it being ok because "T4T" or some bullshit. Like at least half the trans women that have tried to slide into my DMs acted like this too)

Also for the love of g-d can we please have a nuanced conversation about how fetishization ≠ inherently predatory. Like if a woman has a feeder/weight gain kink, and she dates a girl who engages in that kink with her and fetishizes feeding her and her weight gain, then that's just consensual sexual compatibility between 2 adults, nothing inherently predatory is going on there unless some other form of abusive behavior is at play. If I hook up with a cis girl chaser, and she fetishizes my body as a trans femme top in a way that I like and is not creepy or dysphoria-inducing, then that is not inherently more predatory than the former example.

I'll take a cis girl chaser following me over even a non-creepy/fetishistic cishet man any day and that's a hill I'm willing to die on.

(also for the love of all that is holy these are just my personal observations and lived experiences, I am not trying to imply they are universal or more valid than yours, so don't even try it)

#saskia screaming into the void #vent post #trans nsft #female chasers please interact #that last tag was meant as a joke #but is it tho? #hmmmm no actually. 100% serious #kink discourse #mtf nsft #enby nsft

[biillys]

actually i think it'd be funny if neil was in charge of sorting all the grave arrangement stuff and got the billy hargrove headstone and then susan was like 'neil, honey, his birth certificate says william. you were meant to put william.' and so neil had to shell out more cash for another fucking headstone that said WILLIAM and the headstone people wouldn't even take the billy one back or refund it cos it's not like they were gonna get another billy hargrove to use it for so there's neil, shit outta money, burying his son, so fucking angry becos he doesn't recognise the emotion of grief, and then like 8 months later billy strolls back in, looking like a fucked up science experiment, all 'two headstones? dad, you shouldn't have'

#this started off as a joke post that got kinda serious but ended still being a joke :( #pls know at its core tho its literally just 100% joke #m #text

[darubyprincx]

due to my complete lack of knowledge of minecraft related death games and cheerful "yes, and" demeanour i could definitely be invited to a life series-esque SMP if convinced that it was in another genre. if anyone needs a genre unaware protagonist who genuinely thinks that this is like, a building contest series or something, hit me up* (i am very easy to decieve)

*there are two caveats with this and those are that 1. this will ONLY work if i am fully convinced that this is not a death game and 2. nobody else is allowed to be told that i have no idea what's actually going on here, for maximum comedy potential.

#ray's tag #mcyt #this post is not a joke by the way #i am being 100% serious here #if you're running a death game and want to introduce a capital w Wildcard in the funniest way possible then hit me up and we can coordinate #please note that i am a full time student living in the contiguous united states and as such have precious little time to do anything #but this offer stands for literally ever

[footballshowrot]

literally the strongest piece of evidence in the case for transmasc jamie is ⬆️ the shirt thing he does. claaaaaaaaassic hide my chest? pull my shirt out🤷‍♂️ self-conscious move

#this is a joke post but also im 100 percent serious u know how it is #pointing [😯i do that] and NOW i think about jamie when i do it get outta here!!!!!!!!!!!!! #transgender beam be upon ye for a moment jamie tartt #but the shirt thing is also just fidget central. like its fidget CITY up in here man do u get it. #whats a guy gonna do. not have something to occupy his hands at all times?? for shaaaaame for shame. i dont think so #jamie tartt #rot riffing

[kostnyan]

The real reason Kalim has so much jewelry is that when he moves it makes noise so Jamil can know where Kalim is at every waking second. It's like putting a bell on a cat. Except the cat is very talkative regardless, but it helps when someone is trying to steal or hurt said talkative and friendly cat.

#kalim al asim #twst kalim #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #kosta thots #this a joke and not serious at all it late and I'm thinking of silly posts lol #but with that amount of jewlry you're telling he wouldn't make noise when he walks??? #and i 100% believe that if someone gave him a color with a bell on it he'd wear it no questions asked #bell him up boys

[thelooniemoonie]

there are 2 types of [1000th CUSTOMER] in the world

#deltarune #deltarune au #deltarune alternate universe #deltarune alternate route #2 faced soul au #addisons #blue addison #pink addison #deltarune player #player red #player blue #moonies makings #2 art posts in 1 week golly im on a roll #disclaimer this is not 100% canon the addisons cant see red or blue but in terms of possible character interactions this is 100% canon #and yes that is morleil and quip #remember when i said any headcanons i made for spam and the addisons carry over to the au? yeah i was serious #anyway if you're reading this far here's some flavor text: #this is actually more or less canon because in our playthrough we were almost scammed because Blue indeed want to buy from the addis #and the only reason we didnt was because i was on the controls and knew the joke was that these guys were scammers #also feel free to headcanon morleil and blue as friends but offscreen red is beating the shit out of quip

[manofmanymons]

📢 HEY I REALLY LIKE KAITO AND DRACMON

#they're my little guys #comfort gremlins #i made this post as a joke but i am also being 100% serious #digimon survive #kaito shinonome #dracmon

[moongothic]

I want to preface this by saying that this is meant to be kind of a shitpost. I just. The thought passed my mind. I laughed at it. Thought about it again, laughed some more and I just had to get it out of my system. So here we are

So when I read the myth of Toyotama Hime I did start to wonder if it could be used as fuel for the Crocodad Fire, the myth being about Toyotama coming from Ryuugyuu Castle to give birth on land etc. And in One Piece, we do have that very castle on Fishman Island. Which isn't surprising or anything, Oda getting inspo/names from various mythologies is nothing new by a long shot, and it's unlikely you could somehow tie Crocodile to Fishman Island through that myth. Like Toyotama coming "from the ocean" could just be turned into "Crocodile coming from the sea as a pirate", doesn't have to be deeper than that

But then I thought

...Do we actually know Crocodile isn't part-merman

Like. You see--

We know half-merfolk-half-humans do keep their fishtails like full-merfolk (see Charlotte Praline), and we know that while mermaids split their tails after 30, mermen never do. So between that and us having The Most Scandalous Feet Pics of Sir Crocodile (from the jailbreak cover story), well, we know he has basic ass human feet, so we know for certain he can't be half-merman

But also

Chimney is 1/4th mermaid. The only mermaid features she inherited from her grandmother were her hair color and her being a "good swimmer". Chimney is part-mermaid, and she has human feet

Like the only thing that could debunk this idea (based on what we know about Chimney) would be if Crocodile was a shit swimmer, but he's a Devil Fruit user so of course he can't fucking swim. So we have literally nothing to prove or debunk the idea.

So like

You've heard of "Crocodile is Whitebeard's bio-son" You've heard of "Crocodile is the missing Kuja Empress" You've even heard of "Crocodile is Xebec's son".

So how about

"Crocodile is 1/4th merman"

Why the fuck not

But the funny thing is

Not only would it weirdly explain why the fuck our beloved Sand Man Who Can't Fucking Swim is named after an animal known for swimming (like OP has weird fucking names, see; Smoker, Baby 5, Monkey D. Dragon, etc. What bugs me about Crocodile is the slightly contradictatory theming, but if he was named "Crocodile" by his merfolk parents, suddenly, it kind of works)

But also like. We know Crocodile fucking Hates the Government. And to be fair, there's plenty of reasons for anyone to hate the World Government, you don't need a personal grudge to hate them.

But if he had merfolk parents (who might be stuck living on the surface because they wouldn't have been able to get their child to Fishman Island without someone essentially delivering him there, 'cause he wouldn't have been able to just SWIM there), then there's a genuinely possibility said parent(s) could've ended up getting caught and turned into slaves. And boy would that give someone A Personal Fucking Grudge Against The Government

But also, due to the in-universe discrimination against merfolk, if Crocodile was part-merman it could mean he could've been harassed for it since a young age, or worse yet, could've become a target for slavers if anybody found out. And somehow, having to hide that part about his heritage would work really well into his trust issues

Not to mention, after escaping Impel Down, Croc and Jinbei have this brief convo (that turns racist) where Croc expresses his surprise over Jinbei being able to summon fish, having thought only merfolk could do that. Of course, Croc being a seasoned pirate and all you could totally expect him to like know about mermaid legends etc, but him having no knowledge about Fishmen is a bit odd. Especially because we know he's been to the New World, so you'd think he must've gone to Fishman Island at least once before? Although, his former Shichibukai Rights probably would've allowed him to cross over the Red Line through Marijois instead of having to pass through Fishman Island, but regardless, it's odd, is it not? But if Crocodile did have merfolk parents whom he got separated from at a young age?? Maybe he learned a thing or two about that side of his family, but never enough?? And then having to hide that side of his heritage could've left him just estranged????

Also IDK if it's worth anything but in the cover stories, we were introduced to our first mermaid Camie at the tail end of Alabasta, while the Miss Goldenweek coverstory ran during Water 7 where we meet Kokoro and Chimney. IDK it's a funny coincidence

I just

Could you fucking imagine

How fucking insane would that be, if Crocodile was part-merman

#Moon posting #Sir Crocodile #OP Meta #Long post #This has been sitting in my drafts for over two weeks I need to yeet this out these drafts need to be fucking cleared #The worst part is that because this has been sitting in my drafts for so long the joke became an unironic headcanon #Help #But just to reiterate this again: I AM NOT SERIOUSLY SUGGESTING THIS. NOT A SERIOUS THEORY AT ALL #It'd just be The Right Type of Insane that if it happened in canon I'd just be like ''okay sure let's fucking go'' #Also not gonna lie I feel like this'd be more plausible in canon than Crocodile being a former slave himself #Sidenote: No I don't think this'd be The Secret Ivankov was willing to blackmail him with (he's still trans (to me)) #This could just be another layer in the Onion of Trust Issues that Crocodile is #Right between the ''not doing gender right as a kid'' and ''getting humbled by WB'' and ''betrayed by his crew'' and the divorce #It makes sense in my mind. Thematically it would make sense #Unrelated I 100% want Crocodile to be his birthname. Don't want him to have a deadname at all.

[accidentallyatekneecaps]

You ever see an opinion so wrong you have to take a double take

#Genuinely just saw a post and thought it was an April fools joke and I just like missed it #But like it was 100% serious #It wasn't anyone I was following or who I'm mutuals with but jeeze it was a really bad take

[marley-manson]

wait are there beejhawk fics where bj is jealous and insecure because i've been looking for shit like that and requesting recs from people and i've never found anything except for like a few excellent beejhawk-y fics written by some of my mutuals lol, and a fic series from a little further back that ends up in poly i think which i'm not into and didn't finish

i don't mind if it's lazy characterization i'm here for angst and especially fucked up porn

#text post #marley on mash #the trapper complex strikes me as a shitpost joke rather than something people base fic off of because most of the beejhawk fic i've seen #has bj as a wholesome supportive partner tending to his offputting bf #with at most one scene ft an easily resolved flaw or the mildest of jealous moments #granted i haven't read a whole lot of beejhawk since reading a bunch of the popular fics when i first got into mash a couple years ago #reading thru rec lists as part of the initial new fandom phase #so if i'm missing weird shit with a less Good Nice Guy BJ characterization pls let me know 👀 #(while this is largely phrased to express surprise at v divergent fandom experiences i am 100% serious about wanting recs btw #if you read a beejhawk fic and went 'ugh bj is too mean/jealous/possessive/etc' i want to know about it this is rtmi)