#this is about heartstopper but it applies to everything

[firstkanaphans]

if i have permission to be a bit of a bitch in your inbox (feel free to ignore this if not), the dichotomy people build between bl and queer media is sooooo fascinating. and of course by that i mean it gives me hives. the universalizing of 'real queer experiences' is obnoxious as hell, but how its been applied to ofts has really shown me why i find it so obnoxious. most of the people who hold this dichotomy would never classify a bl that ignores homophobia as 'authentically queer' media. but i definitely saw people who hoped that the 'authentically queer' ofts would exist in a bubble without any slutshaming, or that it would be resolutely shut down in show. but in my aroallo experience? that would be as inauthentic as the no homophobia bubble, so where does that leave us?

also the circular logic in the bl vs queer media arguments is mind numbing. 'bl doesnt cover these types of themes' yeah dude because you forcibly remove everything with those themes from the bl category in your head. 'queer media must acknowledge homophobia' the idea that a story by queer people about queer characters isnt really queer because it chooses to focus on joy or discovery or any other facet of queer existence is so fucking depressing. go hug a queer friend and think about why you feel queerness is defined by suffering before anything else.

Oh, hey, you found my soap box, Anon! Let me just step on up there with you for a minute.

So, first off, let me just say how much I hate the term “authentically” queer. It seems to suggest that in order to be queer, you have to be queer a certain way. As an ultra femme lesbian, the queer community often makes me feel like I’m not queer enough. That I don’t understand the hardships that come with being gay because I am “straight-passing.” This is the same thing people do to BLs. News flash: if you’re queer, you’re queer. Period. Congratulations, that’s all it takes to be authentic!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a large percentage of the people I see using this designation are straight women who think that queer suffering is a necessary part of the queer experience, but a lot of “authentically queer” people—me included—don’t want to be reminded of our real-life suffering every time we turn on the TV. Heartstopper is triggering for me. Bad Buddy is not. As a queer woman currently living in Ron DeSantis’s Florida,  I deserve to be able to turn on the TV every once in a while and not be reminded that there are people in the world who want me dead.

I’ve learned that when people describe a BL as “authentically queer,” what they actually mean is “This BL feels more Western”—the racist insinuation there being that Western media is inherently better.

I feel like The Eclipse is a good example of this hypocrisy. No one has ever called The Eclipse “authentically queer” despite the fact that it delivers one of the most nuanced takes on the dangers of systemic homophobia that I have seen anywhere. The writers of both the source material and the script are gay men. The director is queer. That seems to meet all of the qualifications these people set for “authentically queer” and yet no one has ever questioned that The Eclipse is a BL. Why? Because it incorporates traditionally Asian/yaoi humor tropes such as the pratfall and the accidental kiss. 

Are you sensing a pattern? It’s not the queer-ness of a piece of media that determines whether it is seen as “authentic.” It is its “Western-ness.”

Let me be very clear: All BLs are “authentically queer” media because the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer. And if you don’t like that, then maybe stop watching BLs.

If the people who were producing these shows had a problem with the term, that would be another discussion, but they don’t. P’Jojo has never advertised Only Friends as anything other than a BL. The fandom did that for him. And with all due respect, if the people making the fucking thing are calling it a BL, then it’s a fucking BL.

So, yeah. Not liking BLs doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a bigot. The fact that the term has become so derogatory is rooted in both racism and misogyny because this was originally a genre created by women, for women, and the hobbies of women are so often infantilized.

BLs are queer media. Die mad about it.

#i'm a bit heated this morning guys 😅 #the eclipse #only friends the series #asks #thai bl

[her-midas-touch]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆🪐 Introduction post

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ hey lovelies <33 ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

ੈ✩‧˚ I finally made one after combatting procrastination like the valiant warrior I am *bows dramatically* anyways lol

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ hi! I’m ari :))

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ I’m a sagittarius, intp, and idk exactly which marauder I kin but I’m pretty jegulus core (like somehow both of them at the same time irdk how to explain it lmaoo)

(I also have a little poetry side blog which is (@the-wisteria-cascades)

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚(basic dni criteria applies so if you’re spreading any kind of hate but otherwise I’d love to get to know you 🫶😌✨)

(I will overuse those emojis everywhere btw lol)

₊˚⊹♡ Hobbies : I love reading, writing, occasionally swimming, anything to do with poetry, and overanalyzing literally everything, and occasionally drawing as well (I’d say journaling too but I lack consistency 😭)

₊˚⊹♡ Books: percy jackson, hp (though if I do post it’s mostly about the marauders separating the art from the artist and all that) the book thief, tsoa, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, aaddtsotu, the burning kingdoms, the hunger games, the inheritance games, the priory of the orange tree, tbosas, red white and royal blue, heroes of olympus, trials of apollo, gone girl, agggtm, one of us is lying, and probably more that I can’t currently remember (book recs are welcome btw bonus points if they’re sapphic 💗)

｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ Shows + Movies : stranger things, young royals, heartstopper, pjo, dickinson are currently the main shows I follow though I adore animated films as well as some animated shows (carmen sandiego and tangled the series) and I’ll probably start some more after exams :)

｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ Music : taylor swift (evermore and reputation girl through and through) zolita, conan grey, girli, cavetown, arctic monkeys, hozier, renee rapp, camila cabello, troye sivan, alec benjamin, occasionally lana del ray, paramore, chappell roan, beth mccarthy, queen, ABBA, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter, fletcher, girl in red, haley kiyoko

｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ Lovely moots (just tagging the ones I’ve interacted with because I’m kinda shy to do all of you so please do let me know if you want to be tagged or removed)

@daydream-of-a-wallflower @silence-between-seconds @good-old-fashioned-lover @stars-over-ice-cream @sweetronancer @jaaklops @awrldalonee @harp-bo-barp @astreinomane @ronance4life42 @moonlightt444 @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @lilydoeswrite @lost-in-reveriie @annotated-catastrophe @commit-arson-immediately @sleepinginmygrave @bylersrise @half-a-heart-without-you @urbanflorals (+ all my other byler moots I love but am terrified of tagging )

(I definitely didn’t tag everyone here but I love all of you guys so much ahhhh 🫶)

I hope everyone is having a lovely day and taking care of themselves

<33

(pictures are from pinterest and dividers by @saradika-graphics)

#lovely moots #ari says things #intro post

[maaaxx]

Heartstopper Season 2 Spoilers

Heartstopper season 2 was perfect, and Alice Oseman is a cinematic and literature genius but I would like to take a few moments to draw some attention to.....

This boy right here.

(look how sweet he is omg)

I can't get over Isaacs arch in heartstopper, especially in season 2.

Ace representation is so few and far between as it is, and good representation is even more scarce, but having that sort of representation at the forefront of a show? And having it accurately depicted, and not infantilized? Showing the complexities of it? Basically unheard of. But Holy Fuck did Alice Oseman deliver.

At the end of season 2 he is just finding out what aro/asexuality is and reading up on it. He knows it exists and he knows that it applies to him. And he faced some of the difficulties of being aro/ace with James and with the isolation and feeling like he's not interesting unless he has a romantic interest, these are all very real and not commonly talked about things that people have experienced.

And oh my god was it euphoric to see on screen.

Growing up and watching all your friends have crushes and get into relationships and fawn over people and never experiencing that same thing is so isolating. Even in accepting environments and in good friend groups (as seen on the show) it always feels like your an odd one out, and outsider, etc.

So the scene where Isaac goes "I think their might be something wrong with me.", that hits home to so many people who grew up not understanding why they were different.

I've talked about on here before why labels are so important to people, and this is a perfect example of it. You can learn to accept yourself and love yourself and be completely self confident but if there's something fundamentally different about you, there's always going to be a voice in the back of your head reminding you of that. Learning a label, or a word, that represents something that you might have already accepted as something that's a character flaw, there's no word to describe it, it's so relieving. It means there are people like you who have lived to create that label, it means your not alone with it, it means you have a community.

And having this shown on tv, especially at a time like now where people are trying to cover up anything that reminds people that LGBT people exist, is going to tell so many kids that there is nothing wrong with them, and they're not defected, and they're not broken.

And Isaacs whole arch (even thought it's not completed) handled this perfectly. Because there were moments that shows that Isaac is in some ways separate from the group. They love him, but he's different, they care about him, but he doesn't have a romantic interest, so his presence isn't as acknowledged.

And I think that in Season 3 (assuming theres going to be a season 3) we're going to get to see this expanded on. We might get to see Isaac coming out to the rest of the group, and learning how to cope with not having access to something that a lot of people say is what makes people human.

Heartstopper is such an amazing show and Alice Oseman is incredible. The cast is incredible. Everything about everything about that production is incredible.

(now for another picture of my son)

#This is a heartstopper blog now #ik heartstopper is kind of seen as a kiddy show to a lod of older gays but this show has been so healing to me #and shows like this that are very like #well known #and get a lot of views and stuff #9 cant remember the word for it rn #even though we are where we're out with the lgbt things #like i said there are a lot of people who still want to hide certain identities from kids #and asexuality is one of them #representation is so important no matter how far weve come #idk what im saying rn im so tired #anywho #i fucking love this show #isaac henderson #heartstopper s2 #heartstopper #heartstopper spoilers #max thinks shes relevant

[randomjreader]

Woke up today to see all the shit that happened on hstwt, and can I just say: what the fuck? This whole situation got so goddamn out of hand, and now another cast member has been bullied off a social media platform.

I understand what Bash's comments may have sounded like, and I'm not about to invalidate what SA survivors may have felt when they read that. HOWEVER, why was everyone immediately jumping to the worst conclusions?? Especially given Bash's track record of being a genuinely good person, why was everyone so quick to assume the worst of him? And more importantly, the extreme reactions to what he said? Death threats??? There is a difference between holding someone accountable and being a fucking bully. This applies to literally any case of holding a celebrity accountable: call them out, but do it in a way that's respectful with the intention to actually make them learn from their mistakes, instead of fucking death threats! Like seriously, does this make you a better person than them or something? Are people actually riding on their moral high horse for saying horrible things just because they THINK a celebrity messed up? We as netizens never ever know the full story when it comes to situations like these; words very often get miscommunicated, and we all need to wake up and stop immediately jumping to conclusions and going to extremes. This kind of culture is extremely damaging to so many people, not just the celebrity in question.

I've also heard that apparently, people are still mad even when Bash clarified himself? He literally did what Kit did all those months ago, spoke up and cleared up the misconceptions, and yet people are still finding fault. What more do you want from the man? It was badly phrased and misinterpreted by fans, which was out of Bash's control, and he stepped up and made sure everyone knew what he actually meant. He saw the mistake and corrected it, so what exactly are "fans" still looking for? If this one mistake of bad phrasing is ruining your image of Bash, you are literally disregarding all the good Bash has done, and feeding into the extremely toxic cancel culture that basically pushes the idea that public figures are not actual people, just objects for your own entertainment for you to love and hate as you please.

Finally, let's talk about Joe. OF COURSE Joe is gonna defend Bash, we all know that they're close as hell, and if Bash if being hounded for something that Joe knows was not done with malicious intent, why wouldn't he support him? The fact here is, Joe did nothing wrong, he was sticking up for his friend. And what did toxic hstwt fans do? Bully him off the app. There wasn't even any arguments of substance (not that there would be because he DID NOTHING WRONG), people just immediately took his action as a thinly veiled excuse to bully him on things like his looks. HIS LOOKS. Literally, just say you're a fucking bully and move on, because you're just finding a reason to bully him under the guise of having the moral high ground or some shit. Honestly, I'm GLAD that Joe left twitter, because (and I've said it before) that environment is extremely toxic, and I think he'd be a lot happier getting off an app that constantly targets and hates him. Joe is an incredible Charlie, and it's horrible that he keeps on getting hate for it, despite everything he has done for the community because he plays Charlie.

If you're part of this whole hstwt drama, the people that hated on Joe and Bash for no damn reason, don't call yourself a fan. You're not. You're just giving real heartstopper fans a bad image and bullying the actors who have brought this amazing world to life for us. Do better.

#heartstopper #heartstopper cast #sebastian croft #joe locke #hstwt #please stop being hateful #seriously #its disgusting

[ao3feed-narlie]

Catch Me If I Fall

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/u8G1khH by L56895 The door swings open before I’ve even had the chance to knock and oh god if I’m not confronted by the most painfully beautiful boy I’ve ever seen.   Too bad he’s not mine.   Or Charlie Spring is navigating single life about as well as he hoped, until a Grindr hook up threatens to change everything. Words: 4827, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Darcy Olsson, Tara Jones Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Strangers to Lovers, Threesome - M/M/M, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Smut, Aged-Up Character(s), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/u8G1khH

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #heartstopper #narlie #nick x charlie #nick nelson #charlie spring #narlie fanfic

[turnallthemirrors]

okay i just finished the kaylor essay and first of all it is very well written and researched so kudos and i really liked it overall, i really liked you pointing out the double standards in how ppl treat gay ships vs straight ships, you’re 100% right on that. i thought the part about the privatization of sexuality and all that kind of leading to people assuming everyone is cishet was very interesting and i think i agree with that. RPF usually makes me think Real Person Fanfiction which quite honestly i don’t know how i feel about that. i liked you talking about how it’s easy to interpret queer themes in her work bc it really is. and this is going to sound silly for someone who would read a kaylor essay, but i don’t know how i feel about RPF. and what i mean by that is it’s one thing to think like how i do and see how taylor and karlie were and be like well something fruity happened there and it’s another thing to insist and to like push it on people and harass the people who it’s about i guess? for example all the talk about everything clearly bothered taylor, or for example stuff with dan and phil bothered them and then it turned out to be true. like yeah it was true but people went too far and really hounded them about it. and i think it crosses a line once it gets into obsessive territory. like that poor kid from heartstopper the internet forced to come out. that was fucked up. i guess i feel like it crosses a line when you feel like it’s Obviously True and you Need Proof that Everyone Has to See you know what i mean??? i hope that makes sense😭

hi sorry for the delayed response the inside of my brain is weird!!

Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I feel pretty similarly about RPF that you do - obviously I'm invested in kaylor/gaylor or I wouldn't be doing this, but I feel very conflicted about it. The more I reflect on my previous fandom experiences and the more I engage with this fandom, I find that a lot of us see what we are doing as slightly separate from Taylor - it's harmless because it's not about her, it's about us telling stories about her work and saying there might be something there behind the scenes. But I also have been finding it harder and harder to see the lines between harmless speculation and conspiratorial behavior, between defending yourself against legitimate homophobia and using that as an excuse to defend your own bad behavior.

My relationship with this is fraught, but I also know that RPF isn't going away, probably ever. The term RPF has been traced to shipping between actors in the original Star Trek series, which was one of the first fandoms in the contemporary sense, indicating to me that some level of RPF is inevitable in fandoms where that type of thing is possible. I think RPF is kind of a natural extension of the kind of celebrity gossip we see all the time in the media, so by that logic if celebrity gossip is dehumanizing, then RPF must be by extension. And the harmful effects of this are obvious - you've named a few, Becky Albertalli being forced to come out after being harassed over supposed queerbaiting, Shawn Mendez and Louis Tomlinson tweeting against gay rumors, and of course, Taylor. She has time and time again said that she is tired of people speculating about her relationships, both queer and straight rumors. In light of this, I have been trying to engage with Gaylorism in a different capacity, taking a step back from the fandom a bit and thinking about it through multiple lenses. My weird complicated feelings about this are precisely why I'm doing this project.

Hand in hand with that is the double standard that I mentioned in the essay. If RPF is unethical, it's not necessarily unethical because it's gay, it's unethical because it's treating real people like Barbie dolls, meaning that the vitriol directed toward Gaylors should be applied equally to people obsessed with Taylor and Joe's relationship (or any of her other relationships with men), but it isn't. As far as I can tell, this double standard exists throughout slash fiction circles, not just RPF. Turns out, people are just homophobic. There's also a lot of homophobia coming from inside the house so to speak. Don't get me started on Gold-Star Kaylorism or how they talk about gay men or we will be here all day. I think that the homophobia directed at Gaylors as well as the homophobia expressed by Gaylors (god knows theres plenty of both) affects all gay swifties and arguably all swifties, and when we try to stratify ourselves into "good fans" and "bad fans" based on how we engage with celebrity gossip, it does more harm than good.

I do think a lot of Gaylorism is an attempt to queer Taylor's work independently from her sexuality, and I actually think that is a practice that should be celebrated. In fact, I found an academic study that suggested that engaging in queer readings of folklore was beneficial to both personal sexual identity development and supporting sexual fluidity. This is interesting to me because I find this fandom to be rampant with both beautiful bisexuals and disgusting biphobes. That said, while queering artwork is a transgressive act, that doesn't mean RPF is also transgressive - it is more often than not the opposite. And with an artist like Taylor whose work is deeply confessional but also employs fantasy and folklore throughout her career, it's hard to draw the line between art and life. I can say I support death of the author re: taylor all I want, but I also feel murderous rage toward John Mayer every time I listen to Would've Could've Should've, so as much as I can ask people to stop assuming my interpretations are meant to be speculative when they're more literary, I can't exactly blame them for taking it otherwise.

A lot of my goal with this project is to take a step back from Gaylor and also Swiftieism in general, because I find myself feeling suffocated by the fandom at times. I love my friends I've found here and I love Taylor and I will probably always look at her work through a queer lens, but the homophobia, biphobia, and misogyny I see from everyone, the antisemitism and conspiracies from gaylors, plus the general ethical concerns surrounding celebrity and fandom, have led me to want to think about these things in a different light. I am mainly doing this for me, to help me understand my own complicated relationship with Taylor and her fandom, but I'm glad other folks like it and I hope it helps y'all unpack these weird complicated ideas too.

#sydposting #ask #queerwhohatesithere #long post

[nose-bl]

this rant uses heartstopper as an example but it applies to sooo many other shows people have hated on for not being the "right" queer representation or whatever

i highly disagree with "heartstopper (comics and show) is shit representation because it was made to make cishets comfy". if you think heartstopper makes cishets comfortable you're so wrong. the amount of queerphobia that has come since the show came out is horrible. homophobes hate us no matter what, i can assure you they are not comfy with heartstopper. especially bc it is targeted towards a younger audience, so parents do the whole "protect kids against queer people" thing. they are NOT comfortable with heartstopper, because it's a queer piece of media, and homophobes will hate any queer piece of media. even the most "sanitized" ones

and like, have you even read the comics entirely??? they discuss mental health heavily (although with a hopeful perspective which i appreciate), it deals with sexual desire and consent, family conflict, and older queer love. it's not just "two boys like each other and that's it". even what has already happened in the show, it's so much more than that. already a lot of themes of mental health and trauma, and there's other queer characters with their own plots that go beyond the two mlm protagonists

it's the same that happens with shows like the owl house. they're targeted towards kids and teens mainly, but everyone can watch them. parents therefore attack these shows intensely and ask "why is this queer shit being shown to my kids?". queer media for kids and teens is important, especially because of the huge pushback parents have against it

and you're also taking away all the credit from the queer people who create these stories and pour their souls into it. saying they just made it to give cishets a queer show they could be comfortable with is so wrong. heartstopper (comic and show) was created to celebrate queer joy and queer relationships for young people

yes i agree we also need queer stories with lots of sex and blood and wild shit, we need things that are completely out of the norm. but saying that only that is valuable queer rep, that only that kind of stuff is revolutionary or groundbreaking, saying that innocent cute shows about baby queers learning about themselves isn't valuable, saying that a show that celebrates queer joy isn't worthy enough just bc it's quite simple and low stakes.....that's just shitty!!!!

you know one of the many reasons why heartstopper is so fucking important??? because this kind of shows is always cishet focused. these kind of teen dramas about growing up and first relationships and friendship and family drama and mental health and teen sex....they always always focus on cishets. sometimes you might get one or a few queer characters. but that's it. cishets are always the leads. always the focus. but heartstopper has queer people at the very center of everything and it is about them. it's like any other teen series but it is very specifically about exploring your teen years as a queer person, and how that makes your experiences inherently different from the experiences of your cishet peers. it's the first show like this that i've seen

like i know not everyone will like simple and cute stories like heartstopper and i absolutely get that. it's like anything else, if you don't like cute teen dramas you obviously won't like heartstopper. but going in the tags of that show and bitching about it, saying it's not good enough, not worthy enough, not valuable, not needed, claiming it's just bad representation.....i don't get that

maybe, just maybe, people should shut up about things they don't like and just move on instead of trying to justify that thing as being Just Bad. you can recognize you don't like something without taking away all the well deserve praised it has gotten

this is the same as adults starting discourse for cartoons that are targeted to kids and teens and making it a big deal. you can absolutely watch them, but when it doesn't cater to your own needs that doesn't make it bad. it's on you to find the shit you like! you can't watch stuff like heartstopper, knowing what it's going to be, and then complain that shows like this exist and that you want mature raw stuff. look for mature raw stuff!!! if that's what you want, if you want sex and horror and vampires and pirates and blood (i get it alskdalsda) go look for that instead of watching a cute teen drama

don't feel pressured to watch something just bc so many ppl in the community talk about how amazing it was for them. we all have different tastes. i'm truly not trying to convince ppl to watch these kind of shows bc i seriously understand how annoying it is to have ppl insist that you watch a show you know you would hate, this is just some thoughts i've been having about the way we talk about representation. some ppl forget that any art made by a queer person for queer people is valuable in its own way, even if you personally hate it

and please let's stop the whole "there's too much of this kind of queer rep, we need this instead". because there's not enough queer rep at all in any way, shape or form. we need more of everything

#queer stuff #heartstopper #queer #rant #making this unreblogable bc i am afraid of random haters and shit

[rainbownixie]

(U do not need to answer this question AT ALL and I’m so sorry if it makes u uncomfortable in any way) but I was just wondering; how did you know you were aroace? Recently I’ve been struggling with whether or not the term applies to me. Online tests are super confusing and they don’t rlly help 💀 tysm and again PLEASE do not feel forced to answer this at all :) <33

it doesn't make me uncomfortable in ANY way!!! don't worry <33 i love helping people with this stuff, especially since aroaces don't have as much information out there as other types of attraction!!

it's funny but i actually realized thanks to an awesome book called "loveless". it's written by alice oseman (yeah, same as heartstopper. so you already know it's good) and it literally changed my whole perspective on the term and myself!

basically, thanks to reading this i realized that i don't feel sexual attraction for anyone! at first i thought i was bisexual, because 0x0=0 right? i felt the same for everyone so i genuinely thought i was bi! but turns out i just... didn't feel anything sexual towards anyone.

and it was a rough thing to accept for me, because i am a person with a high libido and i've always been interested in sex. but those things have nothing to do with being asexual! everyone talks about that label as if it meant not wanting to have sex or not feeling any libido at all, but not everyone is sex repulsed and some of us get horny for other stuff that isn't bodies!

tbh i also realized that i don't want to have sex, i was just highly influenced by society and what it meant to be hot and be liked by other people. so ummm yeah, it was hard for me to relate to posts about asexuality when everyone talked about it in such a reduced way and i was pretty obsessed with being liked by others in a sexual way.

plus, i've always liked reading smut and stuff like that and nobody tells you!!! that it doesn't have anything to do with being asexual!!! you can like sexual content and be sexual with people without feeling sexual attraction towards them!!! i wished somebody had told me that sooner, that way i wouldn't have needed a book to tell me.

i realized i was aromantic (greyromantic, actually, but it's inside the umbrella term) because all my relationships always ended in the same way. i thought i liked someone romantically, and the very same moment we started dating i got the ick. everything they did disgusted me and everything related to romanticism within the relationship scared me. so i always pushed them away or waited for them to break up with me. and let me tell you: it's really fucked up.

because i used to think there was something wrong with me. that i was broken. that i was a horrible person and i didn't know how to love. so i desperately entered relationships that only lasted like less than two months looking for something that made me feel... complete? but that doesn't exist! if you love someone romantically you don't self sabotage the relationship that way. i did it because i wasn't truly in love with them and i confused friendship with love CONSTANTLY. that made me hurt some people i genuinely cared about. normativity is a bitch.

everyone tells you how to love. tv shows, movies, books, society... but no one tells you that maybe you just... don't? and there's nothing wrong with that!! you can be complete without feeling romantic or sexual attraction, really. you just have to be yourself and live your life. there's so so many ways to love people, don't ever get stuck thinking romance is the only one.

when you are straight, lesbian, gay etc etc you KNOW how to love. your label tells you how to do it. but when i realized i was aroace? i felt so damn lonely. i still do, sometimes. and i have a girlfriend (we're both greyro, btw, it's practically a qpr but there's also love involved- it doesn't read matter now)!! because when you are aroace, you just... don't do anything. you just live your life as it already is. and i promise you that it's so so so much cooler when you accept that you only need yourself and other types of love to be happy!!

i still struggle with a bit of internalized aroacephobia, but i've never felt so free and comfortable with myself.

if you are interested in the book i think you can find it on amazon, but if you don't want to spend money i have a pdf i can send you!

i hope this helped you somehow, anon <3 if you have more questions please let me know!!!

#loveless my beloved #it's by far my favorite book EVER #you should see it it's full of notes and post-its pffft #aroace #aromantic #asexual

[nicknelsonhugs]

University of York

Here is an excerpt from my latest Heartstopper oneshot. I hope you enjoy it!

///

Dear Diary,

I’m on the train to Leeds - to see Nick, of course. But I’m not looking forward to this visit.

After months and months of agonizing, I've finally decided which university I’m going to attend next year. I applied to a number of universities (you always want to have a back-up to your back-up) but in reality there were only ever two places I was considering - Leeds or the University of York.

Leeds, because Nick is there, obviously. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Leeds is a fantastic university. I love the campus and the neighborhood. I can totally see myself going there. And they have a great English program. I want to be a publisher so it’ll be a great place to attend.

Buuuut, University of York has an amazing English program! It’s one of the top English programs in the country so it would definitely set me up on the path of being a publisher. And the campus is gorgeous! And the neighborhood’s around campus have everything - a little bit of downtown life but also cute suburbs! And there’s this great family run bookshop; I totally plan to go there every week.

So, yeah, I’ve decided to go to the University of York.

I tried to avoid making a final decision for as long as I could but I had to decide before their deadline. I mean, duh.

The week of the deadline I couldn’t sleep at all. I cried every night. At first I cried cause I was so overwhelmed by the decision. It felt like I was deciding my whole future - Nick or my career. Which I know is ridiculous! Nick and I have talked about me going to another university. We’ve talked about doing the whole long distance thing while we’re both in university so I shouldn’t feel like I’m making a huge life decision!

*sigh*

So, yeah, when I finally decided on going to York I cried the rest of the week cause I didn’t know how to tell Nick.

So here I am, on my way to see Nick and I still don’t know how to tell him.

God, I hope he doesn’t break up with me.

Or come to hate me.

-Charlie

#nick nelson #charlie spring #nick and charlie #heartstopper #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #a03

[sweetcookie500]

This is basically me going on a rant/touching base on a topic that has just recently come around. Needless to say, a TL:DR of this is that no one should force anyone, especially a teenager, to specify elements of their privacy to the world when they explicitly say they do not wish to disclose it period. If you want to go on ahead and read what I have to say about the situation, you may proceed under the cut.

TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY FOR:

- Being forced to come out/specify sexual orientation or gender identity

- General toxic internet behaviour

Absolutely appalled that people think they have the right to a famous person’s privacy. As if people think they hold the right to know EVERYTHING about a person.

Forcing a TEENAGER to reveal their sexuality and/or gender identity to the rest of the world is disgusting. Forcing an actor to SPECIFY information they never wanted to disclose in the first place is atrocious. Forcefully outing a person is terrible.

Need I remind people that one of Heartstopper’s major themes is being confident and comfortable when approaching sexuality and gender identity? That it’s ok to take as long as you need to be confident and comfortable with who you are as a person, and that you don’t have to tell anyone anything if you aren’t ready for it? Because the exact opposite has just happened, and it’s so shameful.

A reminder for the lot of you that need it: Actors (or anyone famous in general) don’t owe you anything. They don’t owe you pieces of their privacy. You have no right to demand said information or anything else from an actor. You are owed nothing. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

#heartstopper #god I’m done with the internet #leave The poor kid be

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

“Let people fuck whoever they want without having to label themselves” and “you could be drunk and having sex with someone you’re not into” doesn’t fucking apply to a guy who labels himself as gay but purposefully goes out of his way to do stuff with women. Even if he is NOT into women, his behaviour is still concerning.

On a lighter note, have you watched Heartstopper? I really appreciate how they portrayed Nick coming to terms with himself and I’m so excited to see the relationship of a cishet guy and a trans girl!!

^^^^^^ RIGHT like everything about that initial ask was concerning.

Also, I haven't seen Heartstopper yet, but I keep hearing good things about it. I'm moving atm and about to start a new job, but once that's taken care of I'll set aside time to watch it.

[thasorns]

I don’t go here but I believe heartstopper had one of the loveliest fandoms this year. I remember how few could relate with the story in some kind of way and felt seen. Like I said one of the loveliest, how come it turned into one of the toxiest?? This doesn’t apply to everyone and if you feel called out, then please do and think about your behavior and how shitty of a person you are. Maybe I don’t have the right to talk about this matter because I didn’t watched the show but when real people are getting involved, the situation changes. How come Kit needed to force himself to come out, how come Joe needed to deactivate his Twitter? Why are people have the need to know everything?! Why the need to assume someone’s sexuality? Is your life that boring? I don’t get it… they’re celebrities but also human beings with feelings. Calling them out for queerbaiting? Seriously, like I said I didn’t watched it but isn’t this going a bit beyond the show now. To pressure Kit and Joe for months to put a label on it and when they don’t want to, they call them out for queerbaiting. I can’t imagine how much hurt they felt during these months… two YOUNG boys who only wanted to bring a little joy into this awful earth and people hearts… everyone who was forced to come out knows the feeling he’s going through right now… at this point I really wish for him to have people by his side who loves him and can distract him from all of this and that he really takes a break from social media. I hope he knows that he’s loved :)

#I really didn’t want to talk to much about this matter #but it makes me mad when I see something like this #*mad and sad #it isn’t okay in any show/drama nor in real life #I’ll shut up now…

[moonbeamsmeantforme]

What made you want to move to the UK?

short answer: to start a life in a new place where i have the chance to be unapologetically myself and to have at least a shot at happiness.

long answer, as a continuation to the story of the previous ask:

cut to april 2022, when i'm living by myself in an apartment in alabama (a not-queer-friendly place if you don't know). heartstopper comes out, i read giovanni's room, i have a good long cry realizing i'm definitely gay (a fact that i had known for a bit but kept at bay for years due to a lot of shame/internalized homophobia). after having some dark thoughts about the potential course of my life not going in a good direction, i decide that i am not going to keep feeling sorry for myself and i am breaking out of the place i was by hook or by crook.

i had wanted to go for a phd prior to the pandemic but decided to hold off due to everything being virtual. i had looked at a few schools before covid in the states but had always wanted to go overseas on my own (context: my parents are both retired military and frequently moved around, and my mom's side of the family are immigrants). i took a shot at a program in japan, but that fell flat (and in hindsight would probably not have been the best move considering the culture differences and i am bad at languages). i looked around at europe, but the uk seemed to be the best fit for me both personally and in finding a program. i saw an ad for a phd position at the university in wales i'm moving to that nearly exactly fit my interests and decided *fuck it* i'll apply even though i don't think i'm qualified for it. i saw the opening literally less than half a week before it closed. turns out the committee liked me a lot, and although it took a hot minute finding the funding for my studies, i got accepted!

i'm in a much better headspace today and i feel i'm way more honest now about who i am and what i want for myself. i feel like starting fresh in the uk is exactly what i need to open up and start *living* (as opposed to just existing). nowhere's perfect but it's what i need to do at this point in my life. taking a mondo paycut but i've come to realize that life really is too short to prioritize financial comfort and social appearances in a heteronormative/religious/neurotypical culture that won't accept me for who i am over the pursuit of personal happiness and honesty. i'd much rather try and fail miserably to really fucking *live* than spend just a *comfortable* existence alone + repressed + unfulfilled, you know?

#asks #tw depression #again sorry/not sorry for the long-ass post #also p.s. i don't hate america with a passion as a whole like a lot of americans seem to do #vermont was wonderful and i'd definitely be open to moving back there someday esp. if i find someone #but - and i cannot stress this enough - fuck the south. never moving back there/here ever again in my life #<3 #six days now!

[sorry-imma-scorpio]

4.16.23

Edit: why are only p0rm bots following me??

“So... my experience with March of 2023 was interesting.” I say, halfway through April.

I got rejected from 8 of 13 colleges I applied to, including my dream school. That hurt quite a bit. I’ve also abandoned most of my socials outside of just talking to people, lost snap streaks with loads of people now it’s mainly my roommate, girlfriend, and a few others that I frequently freak out to.

Everything is so confusing. I’ve committed to a University, applied for housing, paid for everything--only to realize what I want to do is not offered at that school. In all reality I need to get off my ass and email the admissions counselor about how to either build that major or find something close to it.

Hozier’s new music? Love it, honestly. If I were to ever marry a man it would be him 100%. 

Most of my friends have left me at this point. Or ghosted. That’s very reminiscent of the last time I used Tumblr (middle school (ew)). I don’t think Tumblr is the problem, as none of the groups in question know of my use of it, then or now. I think it’s me. I wish I was going to college out of state but it’s just so expensive even with aid. 

I’ve read a lot recently, a lot more than I have in the recent past. I’ve read “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, “Radio Silence”, and now I’m back onto “Blade Breaker” by Victoria Aveyard. I read “Realm Breaker” first semester, but took a turn around to read OFOTCN for my English teacher, and Radio Silence for my girlfriend, it’s her all time favorite book. And I have to agree, Alice Oseman is am amazing artist and author and I look up to her in a lot of ways. 

I pre-ordered the hard copy of “Solitaire” and I will definitely sob while reading it physically for the first time in my life. I’ve listened to the podcast of it on Spotify so many times. (Currently listening to it as I write this, as a matter of fact!!)

I think I owe Alice my life, to be honest. Tori Spring is such a relatable character in so many special ways to me. Heartstopper saved my life when I first started reading it. I now own the four available copies of Heartstopper as well as Loveless. If Alice has 100k fans I’m one of them. Same with 100, and 10, and 1. If she has no fans? I’m dead. 

--- I made a note on my phone about the end of March, time-wise:

here's a life update:

everything has just been super confusing and unknown for me and we all know how well i do when i have no idea what's going on

i've gotten only rejections from colleges this month-- insert schools here

i didn't really want to go to any of them but one, but transferring to a different school is always a possibility. i find out about school tomorrow, see which part of the note i'm adding that to (accepted or rejected list)

idk i'm just really confused 

hoziers new music is really good but his tour sold out so can't go to that, the eras tour has started and the clips i've seen on tiktok are spectacular 

idk

if you're still reading this hi

i'm really tired

It is still accurate. I read it with the intention of posting it on here or instagram but I... didn’t. Should I start an instagram for this account? I mean why not, no one follows me on here anyways. It could be fun. 

But that is all for me for probably the next month, I don’t know. Only time will tell. 

Thank you for reading this, have a blessed day!

You are loved,

Scorpio

#school #life #existing? #idk how to tag this #alice oseman #heartstopper #radio silence #tori spring #solitaire #solitare.co.uk #charlie spring #nick nelson #life in general #confused #18 #taylor swift #maroon #blessed #loveyou #scorio

[ao3feed-narlie]

We Could (We Could Belong Together)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/te7lwvL by hedaharmony Nick Nelson knows he is in love with Charlie Spring. He has known this for years, known he loves Charlie, who had come into his life when he was sixteen years old, made him learn so much about himself and had stuck around through it all. Nearly five years later, Charlie still didn’t know that Nick was in love with him. XXX What if Nick and Charlie had never admitted their feelings but everything else in their story had been nearly the same? Would they still end up as the Nick & Charlie we all know? Words: 2797, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper) Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson & Charles "Charlie" Spring Additional Tags: Feelings, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson Loves Charles "Charlie" Spring, Canon Compliant, But not quite, basically canon if nick and Charlie never admitted their feelings, Not Canon Compliant, Nick Has A Lot Of Feelings, Bisexual Disaster Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Romantic Fluff, in any universe read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/te7lwvL

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #heartstopper #narlie #nick x charlie #nick nelson #charlie spring #narlie fanfic

[anothersebastianblog]

So you agree that Dahmer and Blonde were exploitative and gross but you still support p&t? please explain, how is it any different? I'm not even being snarky, just genuinely asking.

Mind you that this is the last time i talk about this simply because we are over this era and im not interested in talking about it now again! So it’s gonna be a long one 😁 im replying this because if you are new you could have missed the p&t talking.

So, no. I don’t fully support any of these projects.

But I think here we have three different but similar situations:

1. Blonde. The easiest one. One of the worst movie ever made. It’s genuinely bad under every aspect, even the more technical ones: directing and writing. Ana’s performance is half good half a parody (and she didn’t even sing herself..) but the rest is so awful that she managed to be the best part of the movie.

Blonde is based on a FICTIONAL book about a dead woman that can’t reply or express her opinion anymore and that has been the subject of thousands of projects now. It’s directed by a man and you can fucking tell it. It contains a pro-life campaign and a first p.o.v blowjob scene. The story in general is not accurate because again the book is fictional

2. Dahmer. From a technical perspective is good. You lie if you say it is not. Ryan Murphy can do his job well especially if the stuff he has in his hands is depraved and about real people (probably because he actually is not a great screenwriter). Evan did his job very well.

Sadly everything else was wrong. Idk who actually thought it was a good idea to make this series tbh. This time the victims’ families ACTUALLY loudly complained about the series and the fact that seeing themselves portrayed onscreen made the re-live the trauma.

It was also labelled under the “LGBT+” tag on Netflix (to be clear this tag is also applied to series like Heartstopper). Now. Do you think a black gay man would enojy to see Dahmer, a series found under the “LGBT+” tag on Netflix?

Last but not the least … actually the most important point: the victimisation of Dahmer. Choosing to show him as a baby and a child and the problem his parents had as a sort of justification of his crimes…

(And at these stuff can we add the absolute imbecility of the people who glamorised that criminal, treated him like and idol, made his “halloween costume” go sold out, etc?)

3. Pam and Tommy. Pam and Tommy seems a fucking joke compared to the previous two. It has its huge problems, to me the most important one is how they handled the press tour (bad) and Sebastian himself who should have shut is pretty mouth up. Lily too tbh.

For the rest , it’s a well made series with great musics and great performances. It actually stands by the two victims while showing you one of them was (at least at the time) a bad person. (Mind you that the series was about the sex tape being stolen not their marriage issues, some people didn’t get that). The impact on Pamela is so big that you can’t justify Seth Rogen’s character at the end of it which is good.

Thank god Pamela can say her version: she actually had a documentary in works for two years before the series was released… on the same platform who produced Dahmer. Oh the irony.

On a less ironic note, of course she has the right of saying whatever she wants. She is capitalising on it as well (good for her)

One thing I didn’t like about this is how people were so so quick on defending her without knowing how a bad person she is… and treated sebastian (just him… the other people who worked on it apparently get a pass) like he is the devil or something. While of course he did some mistake im convinced some reaction were a bit too much