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#this is going to be my writing soundtrack
alexturntable · 2 days
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chris_bloodfilms Met my hero on a train. This story is long so scroll if you cba reading. It’s 2005, a band explodes on MySpace. They’re dressed like you and their lyrics are a mirror to your life. Bleeding heck, who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys? After 19 years on repeat it’s now 2024. Myself and @/conor_bloodfilms are travelling back from Paris. We arrive at Gare Du Nord and Duffy stops in his tracks. He whispers to me “I think that’s Alex Turner.” “F**k off!” I immediately reply. I gaze over at a guy wearing a leather jacket with long brown hair, his face adorned with aviators. We should probably stop staring as it’s getting weird, sexually and aggressively weird. Turns out it is bloody Alex Turner, the man who’s provided the soundtrack to my life! He strolls past and disappears into the Parisian platform crowd. A missed opportunity. We board our train back to London. We look to our left and there’s Alex. Sitting in his seat accompanied by a notepad. He’s probably writing the next Arctic Monkeys hit “Two gawping pricks on a train”. We really need to stop staring. I tell Duffers I’m going in, he stops me. Reminds me that I’m a fully functioning adult and not to create a scene. Christ, he’s right! I feel like I’m 15 years old again, someone get me a Strongbow and whack Dancing Shoes on, kin hell lad! Eventually myself and Con engage, it’s a surreal experience. Alex is polite and returns conversation in a soft friendly manner. The whole situation is just bloody lovely. I awkwardly ask if I can take his portrait, fully aware that it could result in an awkward exchange and destroy this wonderful moment. He smiles and obliges, he’s effortlessly cool, asks for direction and I take a few snaps. We disembark the train, I felt quite emotional and that’s embarrassing to admit. Maybe it was the jet lag, the caffeine and croissant overload? Or maybe it was just the rekindling of my youth. This all might sound trivial, however, for me these portraits are deeply personal serving a reminder that life is a series of fortunate events and when fully appreciated can conjure up some pretty awesome memories.
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musicandotherstuff · 2 days
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Recent photo of Alex Turner taken by a fan, 2024
chris_bloodfilms: "It's 2005, a band explodes on MySpace. They're dressed like you and their lyrics are a mirror to your life. Bleeding heck, who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys?
After 19 years on repeat it's now 2024. Myself and @/conor_bloodfilms are travelling back from Paris
We arrive at Gare Du Nord and Duffy stops in his tracks. He whispers to me "I think that's Alex Turner." "F**k off!" I immediately reply. I gaze over at a guy wearing a leather jacket with long brown hair, his face adorned with aviators. We should probably stop staring as it's getting weird, sexually and aggressively weird.
Turns out it is bloody Alex Turner, the man who's provided the soundtrack to my life! He strolls past and disappears into the Parisian platform crowd. A missed opportunity.
We board our train back to London. We look to our left and there's Alex. Sitting in his seat accompanied by a notepad. He's probably writing the next Arctic Monkeys hit "Two gawping pricks on a train". We really need to stop staring.
I tell Duffers I'm going in, he stops me. Reminds me that I'm a fully functioning adult and not to create a scene. Christ, he's right! I feel like I'm 15 years old again, someone get me a Strongbow and whack Dancing Shoes on, kin hell lad!
Eventually myself and Con engage, it's a surreal experience. Alex is polite and returns conversation in a soft friendly manner. The whole situation is just bloody lovely.
I awkwardly ask if I can take his portrait, fully aware that it could result in an awkward excha"
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thef1diary · 3 days
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hiii could u write a danny or carlos fic based on mess it up by gracie abrams? maybe smtg angsty w happy ending ??
Self Sabotage | D. Ricciardo
Summary: you leave Daniel because things are going too well, but you realize it's the worst decision you've ever made.
© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work.
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Warnings: angst, insecurity (on reader's end), negative thoughts, allusion to childhood trauma, mention of failed past relationships, lil bit of fluff/comfort.
wc: 2.2k
You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things had been well between you and Daniel, in fact it was going too well that it worried you.
You believed that there would be a day where Daniel would show his true colours; prove that every promise, every gesture of love he made was nothing but a lie.
That day never came. He loved you endlessly, showering you in gifts and affirmations which only deepened your fear.
Opened two double doors
Despite Daniel's unwavering love and sincerity, you couldn't shake the feeling that you didn't deserve such happiness. Deep-seated insecurities gnawed at you, whispering that it was only a matter of time before you ruined everything.
Unable to bear the weight of your own self-doubt, you made the painful decision to push Daniel away before he could discover the flaws you believed defined you.
Typical, pretty sure I could grow up
With a heavy heart, you packed your belongings in silence, the weight of your decision pressing down on you with each item you carefully placed in boxes. As you moved through the rooms of your shared home, memories flooded your mind, each corner holding echoes of laughter, whispered promises, and tender moments shared with Daniel. The emptiness of the space around you mirrored the ache in your chest as you realized what you were about to leave behind.
With Daniel away, you found solace in the solitude of your departure, sparing both of you the agony of a tearful goodbye. Each item packed was a step closer to severing the ties that bound you together, a painful but necessary act of self-preservation.
Probably chemical
As you closed the door behind you for the last time, the weight of your decision settled over you like a shroud, leaving behind a home that once held the promise of a future you were no longer sure you deserved.
Driving away from the home you once shared with Daniel, tears blurred your vision as you navigated the familiar streets, each turn carrying you further from the life you had built together. The radio played softly in the background, a bittersweet soundtrack to your departure, as memories of happier times intertwined with the ache of loss.
I took up walking to turn it all off
Despite the pain, a small voice inside whispered that you were doing the right thing, that by leaving, you were sparing Daniel the burden of loving someone who couldn't love themselves. Yet, even as you tried to convince yourself that this was for the best, doubt crept in, casting shadows of regret over your decision.
You grip the steering wheel tightly, your knuckles turning white as you navigate the familiar streets. Glancing at the passenger seat, you see a photo of you and your boyfriend, smiling blissfully. It feels like a mockery now, a reminder of what you shattered.
Doesn't feel bearable
With a huff, you turned it over so you don't see his handsome smile staring back at you that always led you right into his arms, his laugh that was contagious enough to make you laugh as well.
You couldn't stop thinking about him or all the reasons you fell in love with him. He was perfect and unfortunately you didn't believe that you were enough for him.
Guess I thought when I left it would all stop
Opening the window, you let the breeze gather your thoughts and whisk them all away, both negative and positive. All you knew was that you had to leave him because it was good for him. He could find someone better than you, much better.
Your phone buzzes, his name flashing on the screen. You hesitate before answering, your heart pounding in your chest.
"Hey," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Hmm, it would all stop
"Hey, babe! What are you up to?" His voice is filled with warmth, but you can't shake the guilt building inside you.
"Nothing, just hanging about, you know how it is without you," you reply, forcing a smile you know he can't see.
"You sound a bit off. Is everything okay?" Concern colors his words.
When I told you "I'm fine", you were lied to
"Yeah, everything's fine. Just tired from the day, I guess," you lie, the weight of your deceit heavy on your chest.
"Okay, well, I miss you. I can't wait to get back to you," he says, his longing evident in his voice.
"I miss you too," you reply, feeling the sting of your betrayal with every word. You did truly miss him and you know that you would miss him even more as time would go on.
How could I think that all that I gave you was enough?
As you hang up the phone, you're consumed by guilt. You know what you're doing is wrong, but you can't stop now.
You continue driving, the weight of your decision bearing down on you with each passing mile. The road stretches endlessly ahead, mirroring the uncertainty gnawing at your conscience.
'Cause every time I get too close, I just go mess it up
Daniel's words echo in your mind, his longing for you palpable even through the phone. You can't shake the image of his face, filled with love and trust, oblivious to the lie you've just told him.
Even with the music and open windows, the car still becomes suffocating. You steal another glance at the photo frame you flipped over on the passenger seat, your heart twisting with guilt.
Funny that didn't work
A sudden urge to turn back grips you, but you push it aside. It's too late now, you tell yourself. You've made your choice.
Half an hour passes, the landscape blurring into a haze of regret and doubt. Your mind races with what-ifs and maybes, each one a dagger to your already wounded conscience and heart.
Suddenly, your phone rings again, jolting you out of your thoughts. Daniel's name flashes on the screen, but this time you don't pick up his call.
I could be anywhere, I'm on your block
"I'm sorry, Daniel," you whisper, turning off your phone so you don't see another call or text from him.
A wave of sadness washes over you, mingled with a tinge of guilt. Despite knowing deep down that leaving Daniel was the right decision for both of you, it doesn't make the pain any easier to bear.
Cynical, terrible
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling hands as you focus on the road ahead. Each mile feels like an eternity, the weight of your decision heavy on your heart.
Memories of your time with Daniel flood your mind – the laughter, the shared dreams, the moments of pure joy that you thought would last forever. But somewhere along the way, the cracks began to form, the doubts and insecurities creeping in your mind until it threatened to consume you both.
Kicking myself with my gut in a knot
As you drive further and further away from him, you can't help but wonder if you've made a mistake. What if you're throwing away the best thing that ever happened to you? What if you'll never find someone who understands you the way Daniel did?
But then you remember the tears you shed, the sleepless nights spent without him, agonizing over whether to stay or go. You remember the feeling of suffocation, of being trapped in a relationship that was slowly suffocating you purely because you never felt such love before. Instead of accepting it, or at least telling him about it, you chose to endure it until it became unbearable.
'Cause I heard that you're happier
Perhaps you couldn't find someone better than Daniel, he was truly one of the best ones. But that thought didn't deter you away from your decision because you were the one always causing problems, always letting your own thoughts become the reason to end a relationship.
As you drive on into the night, you realize that leaving Daniel was the only way to save him from you. It wasn't easy, and it certainly wasn't painless, but you know in your heart that it was the right thing to do.
Hope that you're sleeping well knowing I'm not
In the weeks following the breakup, a sense of emptiness settled over you like a heavy fog, each day passing in a blur of regret and longing. As you reflected on what had led you to push Daniel away, you couldn't escape the realization that your own insecurities and past traumas had played a significant role in sabotaging the one good thing in your life.
Memories of past relationships haunted your thoughts, whispering tales of betrayal and heartbreak, leaving you unable to fully trust in the love Daniel offered so freely. Childhood wounds, buried deep beneath layers of self-preservation, resurfaced with a vengeance, casting doubt on your worthiness of happiness.
I'm doing too much, hmm
In the quiet moments of solitude, you found yourself grappling with the harsh reality of your actions, longing to turn back the hands of time and undo the damage you had wrought. With each passing day, the weight of regret grew heavier, until it became too much to bear.
He called many times when you finally turned your phone on, but you were too much of a coward to reply to any of his messages. You could tell he was hurt based on the voicemails he left, asking what he did wrong for you to leave abruptly. Daniel had wanted to surprise you by coming home a day early, and you ruined it by not being there.
Did I fall out of line when I called you?
Just like you ruined everything else in your life. You cried yourself to sleep that night, lulling yourself by playing his voicemails over and over again because despite his tone revealing he cried, he still loved you.
Summoning all the courage you could muster, you sought out Daniel, driven by an overwhelming need to make amends, to lay bare the truth of your fears and insecurities.
When I told you "I'm fine"
You stood on the step in front of the house you once called yours, and if everything went well, it would be yours again along with his.
Daniel opened the door, shock covering his features. He gazed at you from head to toe, checking if you were injured but once he was satisfied, his gaze hardened as it connected with yours.
"Daniel," you began, your voice trembling with emotion as you stood before him, "I need to talk to you."
You were lied to
Noticing the hesitation in your tone, his eyes softened, finally coming to a realization that you were truly standing in front of him after being left alone for weeks.
"What happened?" he asked, concern lacing his words. He itched to touch you, to hold you, but he needed to know your stance on your relationship.
How could I think that all that I gave you was enough?
Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to find the right words. "I'm so sorry," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I made a mistake. I let my fears get the best of me, and I pushed you away."
Daniel's brow furrowed in confusion and worry. Ignoring the voice in his head to stay away, he pulled you closer, hugging you and sighing as he found relief by having you in his arms.
I keep thinking maybe if you let me back in
"Why did you push me away? We could've talked," he muttered as he felt your tears wetting the crook of his neck. "It's... it's complicated," you replied, your voice cracking with emotion.
He pulled back, "did I do something?"
You quickly shook your head, "no, you're perfect. I got scared. Scared of getting hurt again, of letting someone in only to be left broken and alone. But I see now that I let my past dictate my future, and I lost sight of what truly mattered, how much you mattered."
We can make it better, breaking every habit
Silence hung heavy between you, the weight of your confession filling the space between your hearts. Then, finally, Daniel spoke, his voice soft but filled with pain. "I don't understand why you didn't talk to me about this sooner," he said, his eyes searching yours for answers.
"I was afraid," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Afraid that if I opened up to you, you would see the broken pieces of me and walk away. But now I realize that keeping you at arm's length was the biggest mistake of my life."
Pull myself together, you could watch it happen
Daniel reached out, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb. "I'm not going anywhere," he said, his voice firm with conviction. "I love you, flaws and all. But we need to work through this together, okay?"
With a trembling smile, you nodded, feeling the weight of his words lift the burden from your shoulders.
In that moment, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, guided by the light of love and forgiveness.
Let it happen, let it happen
Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @wonnou @jointhehunt67 @gxuh @lochnoch @llando4norris @monsieurbacteria6 @namgification @lilymurphy03 @sargeantdumbass @hiireadstuff @racingheartsposts @d3kstar @xjval @namjoonswaifu @isabellewinchester @thedecalcomania-blog @casperlikej @khaylin27 @mlioravanfleet @xoxonoire
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tsukimefuku · 21 hours
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blunt trauma ♰ nanami kento
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summary: your mission is to execute a curse user. the issue? said curse user is nanami kento, your former high school classmate and the man who you still secretly love.
tags and cw: dark content, no use of y/n, sorcerer!f!reader, villain!nanami, +18, explicit smut (mostly rough with tender moments hate/love sex), unprotected sex (wrap it, ppl), masturbation, oral (f receiving), pv, from enemies to enemies who fucked 👍, drama and angst (i’m a latina who grew up watching telenovelas), mentions of death, canon-typical violence, ptsd, cursing, hurt/no comfort, this man is saltier than the sea and turned it into everybody else's problem. 
wc: 7.5k
notes etc.: somehow it became a character study. this is my rendition of what i think gege would make nanami to be like if they followed their original plan and had nanami be a villain. inspo list is so huge i had to make a playlist, i got carried away.
writing/reading soundtrack: playlist link ; main songs → way down we go (kaleo) and daylight (david kushner).
disclaimer: i do not in any way approve of (or encourage) the relationship depicted here. it is toxic and bad for all parties involved. this is fictional and should stay that way.
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oh, father, tell me ♰ do we get what we deserve?
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It felt like the air had been beaten out of your lungs by the very one and only blunt blade you ever knew when you heard the news from Gojo.
Of course the first thing he did when he finished wrapping things up was calling you. If roles were reversed, and this had been Geto, he wouldn't expect any less from you.
During the School's Exchange Event, Jujutsu High was attacked by multiple high grade curses and curse users.
One of them was your former best friend from high school, Nanami Kento. 
"Are you certain it was him?"
"Absolutely," Gojo replied on the other side of the line, "there were traces of cursed energy from his cursed technique. He was also spotted by one of MeiMei's ravens."
"And how many students did he…"
"Two students from Kyoto."
Your head instantly felt dizzy.
"He also killed around a dozen assistants and people securing cursed objects underground."
"Shit… shit," you muttered, forgetting for a few seconds what words were and how to form a coherent sentence. Following suit, your stomach dropped with a sinking ache the moment you made the obvious realization, uttering the most painful thing you had to say in your life — even worse than he's gone, so many years before.
 "This will earn him a death sentence, won't it?"
Gojo was silent for a few moments.
"Hey…"
"Tell me. I can take it."
After a bated breath — from your end, mostly — he confirmed your worst fears.
"Yes. It will."
Ever since Geto's and Nanami's defection, you and Gojo had a special type of shared sorrow over each other's failures to save the people you both loved the most. Call it trauma bonding or codependency, but you developed an unwavering sense of loyalty towards one another.
For that reason, he already knew what you were about to ask him, and you only would because you knew he wouldn't find it in himself to refuse it.
"When it happens, please, have me be appointed as the executioner."
"Of course."
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Sitting with a glass of whiskey while gazing out of the window in an understated house just by the outskirts of Sendai, Nanami couldn't say he was fulfilled, unable to grasp the concept of feeling in any way elated ever since his teenage years. However, he was definitely satisfied that this plan had worked.
He managed to put a dent into Jujutsu Society, aiding Geto — or, at least, someone that looked like him, not that Nanami truly cared about it by this point — in retrieving multiple cursed objects that would be used for their inevitable fallout.
There had been a few casualties, though.
Two students and many personnel died — or rather, met their fateful end by the edge of his blunt blade —, but some deaths should be expected if Jujutsu Society was to be brought to the ground, down to its last brick.
Ever since that fateful day when he was nothing but a tall child sitting beside the cold corpse of his best friend, Yu Haibara, Nanami had simmered what would become a cauldron of absolute venom-dripping rage against Jujutsu Society.
To hell with saving other people — what about them? What about the teenager that would never grow to be a sorcerer, who became an inanimate nothing before ever getting the chance of making something out of himself? 
That face… Nanami could never forget it. It haunted his dreams, even a decade later. Such a stark contrast between the light-spirited smiles and this cold, gray monolith that laid in the morgue.
They had no right to rob their students from their youth, much less from their lives, but that's exactly what Jujutsu High did when they didn't even bother to check the mission appropriately before dispatching Haibara and Nanami to a certain death.
Nanami escaped, but just barely, by the skin of his teeth. Haibara, however, wasn't blessed with the same luck, and drew the short straw when his hitched final breaths met their end against Nanami's shoulder. Nanami, who carried his best friend on his back, desperately tried to win a losing race against death. 
Help was late to arrive.
They were too late for Haibara.
And, in a sense, they were too late for him, too.
The worst part, though, was when they were finally being transported all the way back to Jujutsu High. As he glanced over Haibara’s cadaver, now covered by a body bag, one particularly insensitive assistant very rudely stated, “at least there is a body to be buried.”
At least
There is a body 
To be buried
Those words echoed in his head for what felt like eternity. Was that the best they all had to hope for? To at least have remains left behind for the mourning?
In any case, that was why, even though he had to kill, Nanami never mangled any of his human victims — something not easy to do, given how his technique worked and how easy it was to split someone in half.
You had noticed this perverted benevolence while looking over the necropsy reports, a realization that just added insult to injury.
Let there be something for the funeral, I suppose, was what he told himself.
In his own twisted way, Nanami figured this was a kindness very few sorcerers received at their tragic ends, and decided he'd definitely be more compassionate than what Jujutsu High put their sorcerers through. 
In his eyes, those from Jujutsu High who died under his will were the ones granted a truly merciful death.
His peace was disturbed by the sound of the entrance door being brutally kicked in, flying its way across the living room. He pulled his blunt blade from the side of his armchair with his free hand, but quickly put it down when realizing it was you that had just barged inside.
He knew you very well — well enough to be certain you wouldn't come swinging at him immediately.
"I can see you still have a temper. Destroying the door wasn’t necessary, I would've opened it for you," he stated, sipping on his drink.
"I don't care," you retorted, "I guess you already know why I'm here, in any case."
"I do. You're here to carry out my death sentence," he stated, completely unbothered, as if talking about the weather.
As if he was just mundanely stuck in his ways. 
You huffed, placing your hand over your sword's handle.
"Precisely."
"We haven't spoken in a long time, why don't you take a seat?" Nanami inquired, pointing at the armchair right in front of him. "I want to finish my drink."
You glared at the curse user, as he, unfazed, kept gulping on his whiskey. Nanami was wearing a black buttoned shirt, black pants and black oxford shoes, and you couldn't help but see him as a grim reaper — this was a somber look, fitting for the equally somber man who carried it.
For a second, you took in his features — you hadn’t seen Nanami for a few years after the last time you crossed paths.
His shoulders had slightly broadened, and he still bore the same chiseled face, framed by his sand-blond hair neatly slicked back.
Nanami’s eyes traveled over you quickly, apparently doing the very same thing.
Time had left its marks. It was evident you both had grown up — and apart.
You knew this was a shit idea, but entertained it enough that you actually walked towards the chair and sat down. There were definitely things to be talked about, and you just about had a million questions for him.
Most of them, however, boiled down to what you immediately asked.
"Why did you do it?"
Nanami put his glass on the coffee table right in front of you.
"It was a necessary means to an end."
His words came with frost-bitten coldness, his voice embodying the monotone you once loved, but eventually, grew to hate.
You scoffed, incredulous at his reply, involuntarily clenching your fingers around your katana's handle as it laid on your lap.
"Necessary means to an end? Nanami, you killed teenage sorcerers!"
"As I said, and I don't like repeating myself," he interjected, "it was a necessary sacrifice for a greater cause."
"You're such a hypocritical, self-righteous ass!"
Nanami sighed, clearly displeased.
"We have always been able to keep some semblance of respect for each other, despite our… differences. Do not use that foul language with me."
You laughed bitterly, no amusement or fun in your voice as you did.
"Do you think I can still have an ounce of respect for you after what you did? You murdered my people! They were all sorcerers. You killed students, Nanami! Jujutsu High's students! Just like Haibara once was!"
He shot his eyes at you, and the aura of his cursed energy grew sinister at your words. 
"Don't say his name."
Yu Haibara, arguably the glue that kept the trio together. You were hot headed, Nanami was intransigent, and Yu was the conciliatory ray of sunshine that kept you two — but you, particularly — from constant quarreling as classmates nearly every day.
But back then, you'd argue with Nanami with love.
This wasn't the case now.
Not entirely, at least.
"He was my best friend too, the three of us were! Do you really think this is what he would've wanted?!" you questioned him, equal parts hurt and enraged.
"I'm not one to ponder on could've or would've been's. Haibara is gone."
"I'm not a would've been!"
You could still remember it. The day you realized why dealing with Nanami and hearing his sharp comebacks riled you up so intensely. 
You finally understood you were in love with him.
Ever since the first day you met Nanami, you envied the way he'd be able to keep his feelings in check when you constantly felt like falling apart. You felt jealous at how he was considered a greatly competent individual, regarded by all as the best of your class, while you were basically viewed as a ticking bomb nearing explosion. And finally, it made you livid the way how everyone treated him like the informal leader of the trio when the three of you were out on a mission together.
However, those were the same things that got you to admire your friend and, eventually, fall in love for him.
That day, you asked Nanami to meet you outside after class by himself — much to Haibara's dismay —, because you had something to tell him. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and the unforgiving sun of summer was already setting, casting an orange glow through the leaves of the tree you were both under.
After confessing your feelings for him and bracing yourself for being shot down, because why the hell would Nanami Kento, the brilliant, competent, and mature second-year, have any interest in the chaotic, hot headed mess you were, you realized he actually looked surprised. After taking a few moments to collect himself, Nanami told you how he had thought you actually hated him.
At last, somewhat nervous — but definitely intent on not letting it show —, he confided he had affectionate feelings towards you as well.
Your first kiss was awkward, as it would be expected out of two inexperienced people such as you and Nanami were at that age, but it carried the sweet taste of a blue spring marked by teenage years' innocence.
It felt like a promise.
Unfortunately, such promise was unmercifully cut short the very next day, when Nanami and Haibara were dispatched to their life-changing mission.
What an irony it was that, in the end, you were the one to actually mature over Haibara's death, growing up to be an upstanding sorcerer, loved and admired by peers and students alike, and Nanami was the bomb to blow up in everybody's faces.
What a cruel irony.
"I was there too, and I'm still here, having to pick up the pieces of what you deliberately destroyed!" you rasped, angrily.
"You weren't a 'would've been'? Where were you when we needed you? When I needed you?" his voice didn't conceal the tinge of hurt that those questions carried.
What a fucking low blow.
"Nanami, that's not fair. There wasn't anything I could've done in that situation, and you know that!"
You blamed yourself for a while for not going on that mission with them, until you realized that you too would probably have died if you were there. From the three, Nanami was the only one strong and fast enough to pull off an escape like he did.
He diverted his gaze back to the window.
"You were the one to bring up hypothetical scenarios. Let's indulge in them for a minute, shall we?" 
Nanami glanced back at you, and his next words brimmed with bitter resentment, even if his voice sounded more calm and collected than ever.
"You see someone you supposedly love slowly sinking into darkness. What do you do?"
"Don't you dare, you condescending prick! I asked you so many fucking times what was going on. You were the one who shut me out!"
Your voice carried a decade-old pain that resonated from the depths of your soul.
It came from all the times you entered his dorm room with his favorite sandwich after he had cooped up in there for days on end, and he didn't even bother to eat it. Every time you asked him to talk to you, said you were there for him, and was met by a vacant stare.
And, at last, the time when he cruelly blamed you for not being there when Haibara died.
The way he coldly told you about Haibara's last words.
According to Nanami, Haibara said he wanted to speak to you one last time, at least to bid you farewell.
And you weren't there.
Oh, the viciousness with which he blamed you, and decided you owed him something for this perceived failure. 
The next time Nanami talked to you, he asked you to leave Jujutsu High with him, just like Geto did, and swore to destroy them. You tried, pleaded, implored for him to reconsider and stay, but the very following day, you were met by an empty room where the person you once loved used to be. 
That emptiness had, paradoxically, filled you wholly with grief.
Gojo once told you that nobody could save someone who didn't want to be saved.
You still thought you should've tried harder, in a childish attempt at giving yourself an illusory semblance of control over that clusterfuck of a situation.
This is the gap inside our psyche that feeling guilty tries to fill, isn't it?
We can only feel guilty about the things we could've changed, right?
Your voice sounded decades older than yourself, burdening the weight of multiple lifetimes of hurt and grief. Your soul was too old for your own good.
"How can you find it in yourself to blame me for this?! No… This is a prison of your own making. You built the house of cards that is tumbling down on your head as we speak entirely by yourself."
He huffed intensely through his nostrils — Nanami’s version of a snort —, looking the other way before proceeding, each syllable hitting you with the deadly precision of his cursed technique.
"You abandoned us, leaving me and Haibara to fend for ourselves, just like Jujutsu Society did."
By that point, you began yelling, and your voice reverberated all across the room.
"The hell I did!"
You had to take a deep breath before proceeding.
"I just couldn't get behind this dumb idea that we should become curse users and bring down Jujutsu Society."
"Why didn't you come with me?" he finally asked, in an amalgam of pain, sadness, longing, anger, and stinging resentment. "I would have followed you to the deepest recesses of hell if you asked me to."
You huffed, laughing angrily in between your teeth, before thrusting your words like thorns against him.
"Funny you should say that. You'd go anywhere for me? How about staying? Why couldn't you have stayed for me, then?!" 
Perhaps that request was egotistical, but you didn't care. If only for a moment, you wanted to give yourself this small privilege — to want in a world of duty.
"I was the one actually left to fend for myself, right inside the belly of the beast, and you couldn't have cared less."
He stared at you, nothing in his eyes other than the void left behind after his spirit got killed with his best friend so many years ago.
"I didn't stay because… Because," Nanami stated, with a grave finality, "and you're the one who chose to stay. You're still actively choosing to, just like you did back then."
"That's not a good enough answer," you replied with a bad taste in your mouth.
"It's what you've earned," he coldly replied, "but in case you change your mind-"
"Enough," you interrupted him, incredulous that even after everything, this man had the nerve of suggesting you'd ever be interested in running away with him. "It appalls me you would even consider I could… After what you've done? No, never."
Nanami sighed, and for a brief moment, seemed to be actually disappointed under his resigned, polished visage.
"Well, then. Let's get this over with, at once."
In a split second, you pushed your chair on the ground, falling on your shoulders and rolling on your back, dodging his lightning-fast attack. It left a crater behind, right where you were seconds before. Nanami jumped over the fallen armchair, and you dodged him once again, spinning on your heels, unsheathing your sword as you did so, to deal a beheading blow on the back of his neck.
However, right before impact, you faltered, slowing down your movement.
Your own body held you back from taking his life.
He didn't seem to notice.
Nanami bent down just in time to avoid the blow, and swung his blunt blade towards your kneecap. You were quick on your feet, and jumped back, putting a good distance between the both of you.
"I can see you're actually fighting to kill," he noted, getting up on his feet.
"Of course. That's what I came here to do," you spat in his direction.
"You were never the practical one."
You scoffed.
"Guess I learned something from you."
He smiled at the irony of that, but his eyes didn't follow his expression. 
Nanami lunged at you, but while you thought he'd deal his next blow in your direction, he hit your footing, having you fall on the ground. Abruptly, his blunt blade descended in your direction, but you were able to catch it and have it slip to your side using your katana supported by your hand behind it, sending a sharp, loud sound around the vicinity, trembling against the bones and flesh of the house.
You rolled on your side when he struck a new hit in your direction, leaving another gaping hole on the floor, and you jumped yourself up. 
Before you could attack him, however, he took you by surprise, and you lifted your sword to defend yourself. Nanami hit your katana with his blunt blade, breaking it near where the handle and the steel met, launching your body back on the wall.
The impact knocked the air out of your lungs, and you fell to your knees, unable to recover yourself as you got up. Instantly, you heard his quick, steady steps sprinting their way in your direction.
You were cornered.
This is it.
You braced yourself for the impact, closing your eyes. You remembered his technique perfectly.
Precise, just as he was.
Deadly, just as he was, too.
You were to die at the hands of the man you loved, who had become a murderer and only a distorted, broken version of whom you used to truly love.
This seemed like an oddly cruel way to go.
However, the impact never came.
His blunt blade stopped as it was about to hit your stomach, and you opened your eyes, just to see his face mere inches apart from yours. His mountainous form blocked your view from anything else behind him, and Nanami, at that moment, actually looked like the menace he truly was. 
“Why were you appointed as my executioner?” Nanami asked, much to your surprise.
“I asked to be,” you answered, holding his gaze as something went through his eyes. A hint of anger, most likely, and some sense of betrayal, certainly. 
“So, you want to kill someone you once loved? You were always prone to self-penitence, so it stands to reason you’d do something idiotic like that.”
You scoffed, grimacing at him, feeling your entire body incandescent with rage.
“I fucking hate you, Nanami.” 
He inched his face even closer, brushing your noses against one another, eyes stone-cold and hauntingly vacant.
“I hate you as well.”
For a moment, you wondered if he had really stopped his blade before impact. You didn't expect it, but hearing those words felt like you just had been hit, victim of a blunt trauma, at how much they tore you apart. 
The same blunt trauma that severed the Nanami you once knew — the teenager with bangs, who'd always be carrying around a few spare changes to get soda cans from the vending machine for you and Haibara, in his own understated kindness — and this empty monster looking back at you.
"Good. Finish me off, then, and get your revenge for a crime I never committed. Being unfair and an all-around self-centered asshole certainly suits you, fucker."
His hand made its way up your neck, and you were pressed against the wall. The grip was firm, but not enough to choke you — it came more as a warning than anything else.
"I already told you to stop using that foul language with me," he ordered, low voice simmering with genuine irritation.
"Then make me," you challenged him, hoping for this torture to be over as fast as possible.
Just fucking kill me already.
His blunt blade fell with a thud on the floor, and you were confused for a moment, wondering if he really wouldn't give you the kindness of a quick demise. Did he plan on choking you to death?
Did he hate you that much?
His other hand came up, but before you could do anything to try to resist — which would be nothing but a futile attempt at survival, given that Nanami was physically much stronger than you —, his fingers snaked their way through the back of your hair, tugging it at the roots. 
His mouth clashed against yours, all teeth, tongue, anger, and hunger, and instantly every nerve in your body flared up with a raging fiery ember you hadn't felt in years. All the pent-up resentment, hurt, and desire you had for Nanami swirled together in your gut, guiding your hands up his hair, as you also pulled on it intently, robbing him of a gasp.
You intertwined your tongue against his, and he unceremoniously bullied his own inside your mouth, leaving no crevice unexplored, as his hand on your neck descended towards your waist, where he clenched his fingers with a vicious grip. You whimpered against his lips, and he grunted in return, pushing his body on yours. His throbbing growing cock could be felt, even through both of your clothes, as he pressed it right against the edge of your pants.
When you finally parted after what seemed like a not-long-enough eternity, you huffed and panted, and albeit less than you, he was panting too.
"I fucking… hate you…" you gnarled, glaring into his eyes. The hazel-brown gaze you once adored was now clouded and dark, like the muddy waters of a deep lake.
"Shut the fuck up," Nanami groaned back, strongly cupping your cunt with his large hand. You whimpered in surprise, and he pulled you in harshly for another kiss, letting go of your hair and sex to sink his fingers on the backside of your thighs, pulling them. You immediately jumped up and threw your arms around his shoulders, as he manhandled your legs to have them hooked around him.
He quickly took you both inside the room, and tossed you on the bed, having you gasping in surprise. Before you could catch your breath, he climbed his way on top of you, pressing your body down, and clashed his mouth against yours again, making you actually lightheaded from a lack of air.
You pushed against his chest, grunting uneasy, and surprisingly, he parted his lips from yours.
"What?"
You panted heavily, nearly hyperventilating, and mindlessly rested your hand on his cheek.
"C-can't breathe…" was all you mustered up to say, trying to replenish oxygen back into your system.
His eyes softened so discreetly you nearly missed it, and his cold-ivory enclosure slightly cracked under the affectionate touch he didn't expect.
Nanami had no idea how much he had craved it ever since you parted ways, and hated himself, just a little, for how much such an innocuous gesture stirred his old feelings up, throwing his heart against his chest in a fluttering rush.
I should be over her by now, dammit.
Nanami also brought his hand up your face, and ghosted over your cheek for a second before sliding his fingers delicately down over it.
You also weren't prepared for that, and your chest tightened all over your heavy heart as you remembered your first kiss.
The way he'd cup your face in his hands.
 So delicate, so lovely.
This touch, at this very moment, felt like a painful reminder of everything you had lost.
"Kento…" you cooed, voice strained in your throat, with all the things you were sure you'd never say.
He hummed your name in return, and kissed you while sinking your body against the mattress. This kiss was different, as his lips brushed gently over yours, and his tongue tenderly teased over the seam of your mouth. You welcomed him in, and you both explored these deep waters tentatively, as he upped the intensity after each stroke of your tongues against each other.
He tasted like whiskey, and bread, and the tainted love left behind as nothing but a reminiscence of less grueling days. You couldn't help but feel robbed by him.
You both had been missing out on this for all these fucking years.
"Why did you have to go?" you asked, pulling back from him, a tinge of anger to your cadence, and another of pain in your face.
"Why did you have to stay?" he spat back at you, equal parts saddened and resentful.
His mouth made its way to your neck, and you gasped with the sensation of his warm breath mingled with saliva against your skin, as he licked and bit his way around.
You couldn’t find it in yourself to push him away, and your eyes burned with the prickling sensation of tears that wouldn’t come. You were starved for his touch, his smell, his body, even if this was the murderer of your students, of your friends.
In your head, you felt like digging a hole and throwing yourself in it, to wallow in the misery of realizing that you were about to fuck the murderer of people you loved, and that it felt good.
A pool of heat and fire shot down your insides as your heartbeats throbbed in between your legs.
You hated yourself, and on top of it all, hated Nanami. 
Hated that you couldn't help but still love him, even after all he had done.
This was the setting tension in between the both of you, the two extremes of hate and love pulling against each other, all while the tug of war rope refused to snap to either side.
He pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it aside, and you undid his shirt, unzipping his pants. He unzipped you too, and quickly enough, took off your pants along with your panties with a single sharp tug.
Back to rough, but not entirely, it seemed.
His hand glided against your thigh and his fingertips slipped over your entrance, getting completely glazed by your already dripping arousal. He grunted, a guttural and intense sound deep in his chest, giving you another bite on the soft skin of your neck.
"Hate me?" Nanami asked, teasing his digits over your cunt, "doesn't seem like it."
You managed to scoff at him, which would prove to be a mistake.
"Go fuck yours-"
Before you could finish your sentence, he dove two of his fingers inside knuckle-deep, without any hint of a warning, forcefully stretching your walls around them. You immediately let out a whimper so pitiful you wondered if that was really your voice.
He seemed satisfied at that. Perhaps, even elated.
"Good girl," Nanami whispered right beside your ear, nibbling against your earlobe with his teeth, sending shivers down your spine. He began sliding his fingers in and out, and you bucked down against his hand while moaning and mewling, walls sheathing his digits as he finger-fucked your cunt, neglecting your clit as punishment for calling him a condescending prick earlier.
His palm rucked against your dripping folds, echoing wet slaps all throughout the room, as your arousal kept pooling on his palm.
He mumbled softly against your skin, bringing his mouth up to brush against yours, "hate… you still love me."
You instantly drew one of your hands to slap him in the face for this hurtful teasing, but he had quick reflexes — quicker than yours. He dodged himself back as your hand hit the empty sheets, and edged his fingers to hit against your soft spot, pressing it so violently, you let out a strained cry from the shooting overstimulation pain.
"Ah- Shit!" you shouted, face all scrunched up.
"Can't you behave for once?" he chided, "why is it so hard for you to j-just-“ 
Nanami’s breath hitched in his throat as he grunted, unable to finish his sentence.
You shut him up the only way you could think — grabbing his cock harshly over his boxers. It was extremely effective, and he immediately humped his length against your hand, while lowly groaning.
With trembling hands and a violent snap, you haphazardly pulled his boxers down to his mid-thighs, as his fingers kept mercilessly bullying their way inside you, sending vibrating waves all throughout your body with every thrust.
“Stop… telling me… ah-aaah-“ you rolled your eyes back with a loud moan, struggling to keep a train of coherent thought, gnarling your next words,  “what to… ah- do!”
His cock sprang out, slapping against his belly. The tip was already flustered red, leaking with pre-cum, and had a long, prominent vein on the underside.
To punish him back for the roughness, you grabbed his length with one hand, and with the other, pressed the middle of your palm against his flushed tip, glistening his arousal around it with enough force to jump across the divide between intense pleasure and painful overstimulation.
Nanami cursed with a feral voice through his teeth, immediately biting the side muscles of your neck with no semblance of restraint, making sure to leave a purple remnant of pain etched on your skin.
“Ah- ouch! Fuck!” you spat out, tightening your grip around his cock, but weakened enough to release the tight pressure against his tip, letting him fuck into your hand. His hips bucked erratically, and his lips pressed a quick kiss right where he had previously bitten.
He couldn't help it.
Suddenly, Nanami stopped his rutting fingers to press his thumb against your already throbbing clit. That instantly had you seeing stars as you cursed loudly in between moans and grunts, drawing your free hand to his head, ferociously tugging at his hair, as heat pooled in your lower abdomen like fiery embers of coal.
He grabbed your arm, pulling it away from his shaft, and removed his fingers from your walls, having them clenching around nothing at such a sudden emptiness. You began complaining, only to have your voice cut short by his tongue slipping its way inside your mouth, in a sloppy, wet kiss. 
Parting from you, Nanami’s eyes were glassy, and you were absolutely sure your gaze must’ve looked just as hazy as his.
In a brief moment, before you realized it, he slid himself down, and unceremoniously lapped at your already sensitive clit with his warm tongue, hot breath tickling against your sensitive skin.
Both of your hands descended towards his hair, brushing over his golden and now messy locks more tenderly than you expected. Nanami suddenly shivered and moaned into your cunt, edging his tongue down your folds and back, eyes fluttering shut the moment he tasted you entirely.
He felt a tinge of pain clench at his chest, realizing this was the taste he had missed out on for all that time — your taste, which would surely ruin him forever.
Nanami’s pain, however, was quick to turn into outrage, as he began sucking on your clit relentlessly, eliciting the most animalistic sounds you had ever uttered.
You instinctively tried backing away, and he pulled on your thighs, holding them with such a violent force that his hand was sure to leave an engraving of his digits over your plush skin.
Nanami was intent on dragging this orgasm out of you by any means necessary.
You had never given him anything he wanted from you — be it the company to fight against Jujutsu High or the same unwavering loyalty he had for you. So this was something he’d take.
If you wouldn’t be by his side, then the least you could do was to cum for him so fervently, he’d be sure to ruin you just as much as he felt like you had ruined him. You owed him that, or so Nanami thought.
“Aaah-- Kento! S-slow d-… fuck!”
You came with a thunderous shout, jolting your hip forward as your thighs tightened with inhuman strength to the sides of his head. Nanami made sure to deliciously lick your way down from your high, applying such a precise and perfect pressure on your clit that you could’ve wept from sheer satisfaction.
After your legs went limp, he slowly climbed his way back to you, pressing kisses all over your body, leaving a ghost of heat wherever his mouth traveled. When Nanami finally reached your face, he put his forearms against your sides, hands over your shoulders, caging you in, as he pressed his mouth against yours in a slow kiss.
You were floating in a calm sea, salty waves caressing your body every time they passed through, and it felt cozy. Inviting, even. As he parted his lips from yours, Nanami gazed into your eyes in the way he used to.
For a second, you got catapulted into the past, and the orange sun that warmed your cheeks through the leaves as you kissed for the first time seemed to shine its rays over again.
With his arms around you, the nonsensical feeling of being protected washed over your heart.
“Come with me,” he whispered with a sultry, husky voice. 
“Kento…” you cooed, sighing, wanting nothing more than for this moment to extend for infinity.
But it couldn’t.
You didn’t go with him, so many years ago.
And wouldn’t go now, either.
That wasn’t how it worked for the both of you.
Nanami understood it, and what seemed like another crack against his unwavering walls had formed the moment his brows furrowed above his eyes.
“Fine, then,” he said, with a tinge of genuine hurt to his voice.
You parted your thighs to accommodate his hips, and he obliged, guiding his hand down to align his cock against your entrance. You bent and hooked your legs around him, pulling him in, and as the tip of his length got pressed against your dripping cunt, he gasped slightly over your lips.
Nanami sunk in slowly, going through your already relaxed ring. However, it apparently wasn’t relaxed enough, or perhaps he was just too big, because you could feel every inch of stretching his cock made against your walls as he slowly bottomed out inside your cunt.
His mouth fell open and you exhaled a moan into it, breaths mingling together. You two drank each other in. Nanami pressed his forehead against yours, and you both held each other’s gaze, as he pulled your left wrist above your head, holding it there, pushing you down the mattress by your waist with his other hand.
After a moment for you to take him in, Nanami began rolling his hips into you, while his hand kept bruisingly pressing your wrist against the mattress. You could feel his balancing act of trying to love you and wanting to hurt you at the same time.
You weren’t so different from him in that sense, though. Your nails got dragged down his back with abrasive force, and for a second, you considered drawing blood from him. He grunted, and you saw the spark of cold-hearted anger flash through his now dimmed eyes.
You both wanted to love each other just as much as you wanted to hurt each other.
In a more forgiving universe, perhaps, he’d hold your hand tenderly, intertwining his fingers in yours. Maybe you two would be in the kitchen as he showed you one of his favorite bread recipes, and share quiet moments of understanding companionship when remembering those who had left this world too soon.
But this wasn’t that universe, unfortunately.
He was to die, and you were to carry out his execution. 
Except you couldn’t, because even if you still tried to cling on to any sliver of morals, even if his life was something yours alone to take, the mere thought of a world without Nanami was far worse than the reality of a world in which he was a murderer.
You insisted on fighting a losing game, and much to no one’s surprise, you lost. 
Good riddance to me, I suppose.
His grunts came hitched and stuttered against your mouth as he was now rutting himself into you, biting your lower lip hard enough to almost pierce the skin with his teeth. You moaned loudly, dragged around with pain and pleasure, the combo that seemed to summarize the gist of your relationship.
He let go of your wrist and descended his hand without a warning towards your already overworked clit, glazing his thumb against the ring of arousal you were leaving around him before starting to make circles around your nub. Your moans came out cracked and faltering, as you tried to resist the instinctive urge of fleeing that the overstimulation was eliciting.
“Give me… one more,” Nanami groaned lowly against your cheek, planting multiple kisses down the side of your face and your chin. His hair — which had already fallen from its usual slick arrangement — brushed against your fluttering eyelids, momentarily weaving golden sand colors over your your vision, and you drove both your hands to the back of his head, pulling him in for another kiss. 
You could kiss him like this forever. 
You actually wanted to, at that moment.
To his request, you nodded, and this was probably the first time you acquiesced to any request Nanami had ever made to you. 
Fulfilled, his thrusts and his finger over your clit became increasingly erratic, as he was now moaning your name against your mouth. You pushed your tongue over his, sliding your hands up his head to tug at his roots, and that was all it took to tip him over the edge.
Nanami came with a muffled groan, having your tongue still pushed inside his mouth, and kept pumping himself inside you trying to keep the comedown at bay. His thick, white cum got glazed all over inside you, and the slaps of flesh and skin began sounding ever more wet than they already were.
You weren’t so far off, with your walls fluttering around him, and he noticed it, keeping his now trembling thumb pressed and circling intently over your clit. With one perfectly applied nudge on your sensitive bud, Nanami finally pulled you over the edge along with him.
Some tears began pooling on the edges of your lashes, and all your emotions — anger, sadness, grief, longing, and a particular brand of despair you cultivated during the last decade — came crashing down as he wrenched your second orgasm from you.
Your body convulsed under him, fluttering walls expelling his softening cock out, as you shouted and grunted into his mouth. You didn’t know if you were more furious at yourself for still loving him, at him for loving you, or at Jujutsu Society for jumbling you both like pawns to be tossed around until you two were broken beyond repair.
Angry at them for sending the young out to have their spirits crushed too soon. For all the deaths no one got to mourn because there was too much work, too little time, and the wounded were always left behind to fend for themselves.
Just like you were.
And just like Nanami was.
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You sat at the edge of the bed while putting your shirt back on, and looked back at Nanami, who had his buttoned shirt open over his chest.
“Are you still resolute on your decision of not coming with me?” Nanami asked, with a tinge of eagerness. Or maybe it was just your imagination.
You pondered for a moment, and knew exactly what the answer to that question was.
“Yes. I’m not coming with you.”
For a second, you caught the faintest glimpse of the person he used to be. Something aching to genuine disappointment.
The longing that flashed through him, unfortunately, was quick to go, as he began buttoning his shirt down, averting his gaze elsewhere.
“Why?”
“Because I’d hate myself for the rest of my life if I did,” you stated, sighing before continuing, “and it’s not because I can’t kill you or because I love you that I don’t despise you. You crossed an uncrossable line.”
He pursed his lips, and almost felt regretful for the path he chose.
Almost, since regret now would come ten years too late.
“You can’t go back. They will know you let me go,” Nanami remarked. Be it from him or from looking around this house, Jujutsu High would surely hold you accountable for this — for willingly letting the curse user and murderer, Nanami Kento, escape their wrath.
“I know that,” you replied, a tad bit more defeated than you expected, “that’s why I’m fleeing to Hokkaido.”
He sighed and looked at you. You held his gaze, feeling a little hint of anxiety at what he seemed to be simmering under the surface.
With a warmer expression — or as warm as he could muster it up to be  —, Nanami spoke again. 
“I truly want you to come with me. You’d be safer. We’d… be by each other’s side.”
For a moment, you faltered, open lips with no sound coming out of them. Blinking yourself back to Earth, you asked, “you mean together?”
Nanami kept silent, but nodded, waiting for your response.
He wasn’t just asking for you to come with him, but to be with him.
You wanted to. You did. Something Nanami never knew was just how much you wanted to follow him when he asked you the same thing, so many years ago.
But even though you wholeheartedly loved him with every minute part of your being, your loyalty lied elsewhere.
Not with him, but with the people he had killed.
Well, at least that was the comfortable lie you were capable of living with.
It would destroy you to realize the loyalty you had for the murderer of the people you loved. 
In the end, even if you weren’t a teenager anymore, you were just as much a hostage to your feelings as you had always been.
The ticking took a long time, but the bomb eventually went off.
With a decade’s old delay.
“I… just can’t. I can’t.”
Nanami reclined himself against the wall over which the bed rested, closing his eyes as he supported the back of his head on it. 
He never told you, but this moment broke his heart all over again.
He felt pathetically small.
Guess we get what we deserve, after all.
“You really do have a taste for penitence,” Nanami noted, his voice barely concealing the bitterness that tainted those words.
You scoffed, getting up on your feet, ready to leave as the first rays of sunshine began bleeding through the thick curtains that covered the bedroom’s window.
“Go to hell.”
He chuckled, a sound you hadn’t heard in a very long time. However, it sounded off-key. Wrong.
Sad.
“We’re already here.” 
At the end of it all, he wasn’t wrong.
You were doomed to always keep leaving each other.
If only the world had been a little kinder.
But kindness, it seemed, wasn’t in the cards for you.
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End notes: I’m silently screaming. Oh my, this one took way longer than expected, but I enjoyed the writing process during every step of the way (I mean, if that wasn’t evident already from the fact that I made a playlist for this 😂). I forgot how much I was a sucker for gut wrenching angst. Hope you enjoyed it too! 🦉
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Tag list: @actuallysaiyan @diogodxlot @jadedjane @redlikerozez @voiceless9000
@marvelousfanfictionbitch @kentocalls @ohhheymessa @magical-girl-b @simp-manhwa
@codenamesongbird
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nicoscheer · 2 days
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chris_bloodfilms Met my hero on a train.
This story is long so scroll if you cba reading.
It's 2005, a band explodes on MySpace. They're dressed like you and their lyrics are a mirror to your life.
Bleeding heck, who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys?
After 19 years on repeat it's now 2024. Myself and @conor_bloodfilms are travelling back from Paris.
We arrive at Gare Du Nord and Duffy stops in his tracks. He whispers to me "I think that's Alex Turner."
"F**k off!" | immediately reply. I gaze over at a guy wearing a leather jacket with long brown hair, his face adorned with aviators. We should probably stop staring as it's getting weird, sexually and aggressively weird.
Turns out it is bloody Alex Turner, the man who's provided the soundtrack to my life! He strolls past and disappears into the Parisian platform crowd. A missed opportunity.
We board our train back to London. We look to our left and there's Alex. Sitting in his seat accompanied by a notepad. He's probably writing the next Arctic Monkeys hit "Two gawping pricks on a train". We really need to stop staring.
I tell Duffers I'm going in, he stops me. Reminds me that I'm a fully functioning adult and not to create a scene. Christ, he's right! I feel like I'm 15 years old again, someone get me a Strongbow and whack Dancing Shoes on, kin hell lad!
Eventually myself and Con engage, it's a surreal experience. Alex is polite and returns conversation in a soft friendly manner. The whole situation is just bloody lovely.
I awkwardly ask if I can take his portrait, fully aware that it could result in an awkward exchange and destroy this wonderful moment. He smiles and obliges, he's effortlessly cool, asks for direction and I take a few snaps.
We disembark the train, I felt quite emotional and that's embarrassing to admit. Maybe it was the jet lag, the caffeine and croissant overload? Or maybe it was just the rekindling of my youth.
This all might sound trivial, however, for me these portraits are deeply personal serving a reminder that life is a series of fortunate events and when fully appreciated can conjure up some pretty awesome memories.
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Guys y’all don’t know what listening to Hamilton and also being the Ace Attorney fandom has done to my brain.
I’m currently making a Kristoph Gavin playlist and holy shit, I put a lot of Hamilton songs on Miles and Phoenix’s playlist but HOLY SHIT KRISTOPH HAS WAAAAY MORE.
Anyway let me rant:
The Room Where It Happens (Basically Kristoph being a pissbaby about not getting to defend Gramarye)
You’ll Be Back (Krisnix coded guys come ON)
The Schuyler Sisters (Fey sisters coded ofc)
Helpless (Feenie coded both ways from Dahlia/Iris to Miles)
Satisfied (Feenris and Narumitsu coded holy shit can go either way)
Aaron Burr, Sir (Miles and Phoenix first meeting coded, also the rest of the characters in the song are Gumshoe and Larry coded) (And other characters) (This also includes both Story’s Of Tonight)
Wait For It (The most Miles song I’ve ever heard, could be a good one for when he writes his note)
Right Hand Man (Mia and Phoenix coded, but also any song with Washington and Hamilton is Mia and Phoenix coded omg have you guys HEARD Meet Me Inside?)
History Has It’s Eyes On You (Omg, just every single lawyer in AA coded? I once saw an animatic of this song with Sebastian and Miles and holy shit it was great, it’s also them coded)
Dear Theodosia (Oh my goodness Trucy and Phoenix coded oh my goodness I love them)
Non-Stop (This is such a good one for the whole of the AA series guys, I think this one is a good song for the Trilogy in particular)
Laurens Interlude (I know it’s not technically in the soundtrack but this is really TRULY Phoenix gets Miles’ note coded oh my goodness)
What’d I Miss (Kristoph and Miles coded both ways, oh my goodness, Miles coming back from his death and Kristoph being a bitch)
Cabinet Battle (1 and 2) (Oh, oh baby girl this is, so beautifully every single court case coded in existence)
Say No To This (…Is this Krisnix coded? NO. No… Definitely not…) (Also I know Phoenix would never cheat on Miles if they were together during the 7yg but omg this is the perfect song for it if he were cheating on Mike’s with Kristoph)
The Reynolds Pamphlet (Oh my god, this is sooooooooo so sooooooooo Phoenix just getting disbarred coded) (Kristoph and Klavier and Payne as Burr, Jefferson and Madison? Yes. Yea I just said that) (…Angelica as Miles…)
Blow Us All Away (Aside from the dying part, Trucy and Phoenix coded) (I did wanna do some of these songs for Sebastian and Apollo and Kay but I feel like they go so much better with my girl Trucy)
Your Obedient Servant (This is soooo Kristoph and Phoenix coded they are soooo this song)
Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story? (Ace Attorney coded in general come on)
Alexander Hamilton (Oh my god guys holy shit this song…)
(We fought with him: Godot, Franziska, Larry and Gumshoe, Maya and Pearl
Me I died for him: Mia
Me I trusted him: Athena, Apollo, Klavier and Trucy
Me I loved him: Miles and Mia
And me? I’m the damn fool that shot (disbarred) him: Kristoph)
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javipispunk · 4 hours
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Bush of Rhododendron Flowers
Jackson! Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: In the language of flowers, the rhododendron symbolizes danger and to beware. Fitting plants for the meanest man in Jackson to have in his front yard. You wish you had listened to their warning, too late for that now.
Word count: 1.2k
Rating: Explicit. MDNI
Warnings: Joel and Ellie never go to Salt Lake, Illusions to smut, angst, Joel is mean and a liar and a little rough, manipulation by Joel and reader, self-loathing, self-sabotage, unrequited want, unhealthy attachment, one use of the word ‘darlin’, NO HAPPY ENDING
A/N: The second I saw @morallyinept May challenge I knew I had to write about Joel and Rhododendrons. The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh has lived in my mind rent free since I read it for the first time over a decade ago, so heavy inspo from that. Also the song Rhododendron by Bella White played a large role in the making of this fic. Highly recommend both! Divider by the ever lovely @saradika-graphics
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You sit on your front porch and stare holes into the pink flowers in Joel Miller’s yard that mock you. Spring has arrived and made itself a home in Jackson. Flowers are blooming and cover the landscape like flecks of paint on a canvas. The sun is bright and birdsong echoes in the crisp air, a soundtrack to the movie that plays over in your mind.
Beware, beware, beware, the rhododendron chants at you.
You think back to the first time you met Joel. It was mid-Winter and the earth was covered in a thick blanket of snow. You’d been walking down the street when you heard a bellowing yell. Everyone that was around turned their heads towards the man that had yelled Tommy Miller's name. You’d never seen him before and Lord was he a sight for sore eyes. His graying hair was a mess on the top of his head and his denim clad legs looked sturdy underneath him. If he wasn’t in the middle of a reunion with his brother you would have gone up to talk to him right then and there.
Your opportunity to talk to him came a few days later when you both walked out of your houses at the same time, he had recently moved in across from you. You’d heard rumors that he was gruff and brash, but that didn’t deter you, in fact it only made you want him more. Something about the chase and all that. He didn’t acknowledge you on this particular morning, not even a glance in your direction, so you mirrored his actions.
It happened a few more times, both of you turning onto the street at the same time before he finally accepted that he would be seeing you often. One day he cleared his throat loudly, causing you to turn your head towards him. He gave you a curt nod, you replied by looking him up and down and nodding back at him. A truce of some sort, still neither of you had spoken a word to each other.
/ / /
It continued on like that for a while until you went a few days without seeing him. You’d become weirdly attached to your ritual and his absence worried you, you would later come to find out he’d been injured pretty bad on patrol and was instructed to take it easy. The first time you saw him again after that you decided to finally talk to him.
When he gave his signature nod you spoke up. “Was beginning to wonder if you died or somethin’.”
He froze, obviously caught off guard by your disruption of the routine he had become comfortable with. Then he ran his fingers over his chin and really looked at you.
“Got pretty damn close.” He mumbled and started walking away. Usually he was a few paces ahead of you but with whatever injury he’d sustained he was walking slower than normal. This meant that you were now walking side by side, much to your amusement and his dismay.
“Care to enlighten me?”
“No.” was all he said, unsurprisingly. You chuckled and that was the end of that.
/ / /
It all came to head when you were sitting at the Tipsy Bison. It had been one of those days and you just needed some relief. Like every other time he saw you outside of your shared morning walk he pretended like you didn’t exist. You’d had enough of it and at this point it didn’t matter if you wanted to kiss him or not, he was just being plain annoying. So you walked up behind him and whispered in his ear.
“It’s not very neighborly for you to not say hi to me Joel Miller. I thought we had a nice little thing goin’ on with our walks there.” You didn’t wait for him to reply and swiftly walked away out the door into the cool night. Barely three steps out the door you felt a firm grip on your arm pulling you around the side of the building. Hook, line and sinker.
Joel grabbed your face in his large hand and made you look at him, square in the eye.
“Neighborly huh? I ‘ont think thats what your wantin’ outta me darlin’”
You winked at him and his lips were on yours in an instant. He was rough with you, biting and pulling your lips with his teeth, like a wolf devouring a deer. And just like a deer you were caught in the headlights, not sure which direction you should go. You let him take the lead, willingly pliant under his touch. It was too cold outside to take any items of clothing off so you stopped there and he walked you back to your house.
When you got back you could tell he wasn’t sure if you wanted him to follow you inside. You bit your lip and looked at him seductively, eyes hazy with lust.
“Well? You just gonna leave me out to dry like that?” you said. He hurriedly followed you inside and your clothes had been shed before the door was even fully closed.
/ / /
That was the beginning of the end really. Once you’d had a taste of Joel you needed more, you were insatiable. The more you sought him out the more withdrawn he became. It was on and off for nearly three months, secret rendezvous between weeks of avoidance. When he was with you he was so sweet, he took the time to clean you up and would whisper sweet nothings in your ear. But in the in between times you were insignificant to him. He even started leaving his house an hour early, just so he wouldn’t have to see you.
/ / /
You’d asked him about it on one of those rare occasions you found him in your bed.
“I’m sorry darlin’, just busy.”
You knew he wasn’t sorry and you knew he wasn’t more busy than he usually was. And he knew that you knew but that was the end of the questioning.
As Spring came, feelings changed. You were more irritable than ever with his back and forth. You couldn’t tell what was truth and what was a lie. One moment he was saying he wanted to settle down with you, the next he was saying he had rotten luck with that kind of stuff so he didn’t even wanna bother trying. There were lots of empty sorry’s passed between you two those last few weeks. You wanted it to end, but you never wanted him to leave.
/ / /
Right now as you sit on your porch, coffee long forgotten on the stoop next to you, you know it’s over for good. Just a little while ago you watched him walk out of his house with a pretty blonde woman. He gave her a kiss and a pat on the behind. Her giggle was like a blood curdling scream to your ears.
Your heart is sitting in a million little unfixable pieces at the bottom of your abdomen, the wreckage of a ship left to rot on the sea floor. You brought it upon yourself, you know that, holding onto someone that never really wanted to be there in the first place. How horrible to grieve someone who is still alive.
Beware, beware, beware, the bush of rhododendron flowers continues to stare back at you.
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if life was perfect there would be a tranquility base hotel + casino film. send post.
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aquanutart · 1 year
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an upside-down truth / a fallen star
#the dragon prince#tdp#aaravos#gif#aquanutart#hi i would like to thank everyone who said on my last pic 'i am reblogging this for the puffballs'#as well as 'your tags have murdered me' etc#truly made the whole experience worthwhile. i still can't tell if anyone got the joke but i no longer care#next in our series of 'it's 2022 why don't you make a brush' i should really make a star brush#instead of sitting there going dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot ...#even traditional art has a shortcut method for this (it's called putting masking tape on everything and then: splatter)#(advisable to do this first before drawing anything else...)#the good thing is it doesn't actually take a long time to do the dot dot dots it's just kind of repetitive#and you get bored and start writing about it in your tags and then it takes longer because you're not working#i listened to the ff8 soundtrack while making this#i had actually planned to listen to the triple triad music the entire time but#it turned out i couldn't take it for several hours#even though i quickly realized my mistake i ended up having triple triad stuck in my head the whole time anyway. i did this to myself#anyway i was determined to finish this before season 4 dropped#because i also had the idea three years ago and i need to post it before the new season possibly makes it obsolete#threw a wrench into my own schedule by deciding at the last minute that i needed to animate it and i don't know how to animate#then tdp kind of also threw a wrench by releasing the first episode a week early but it's okay i'm still basically in time#i'd personally like it if aaravos were someone who warps and twists the truth and/or has a warped perspective rather than outright lying#i'm convinced there's a meaning to the upside-down star arcana and maybe rotating the key of aaravos can unlock something ??#saying this suddenly gave me flashbacks to the rotation keys in skyward sword rofl what if he's being held in prison#by his own startouch marking being upside-down because it's out of alignment with the universe or something#TWO MORE DAYS let's GO i've been waiting three years to have my theories blown apart
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always-a-joyful-note · 4 months
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Sometimes I sit back and remember just how GOOD Link Click is as a story. Excellent plot? Check. Compelling themes? Yep. Characters well built that you can root for? Obviously. Deaths that do actually mean something? Yeah. Multiple kinds of relationships that colour the narrative? Yes, and it hurts us all. Banger soundtrack? Both the lyrics-based music AND the BG music. Incredible animation? We have that too. Balance of light and dark moments? Again, yes, and it hurts us all. Balance of show and tell? YES, EPISODE 9 S2. Supporting characters and antagonists who obviously exist as their own people even if the stories revolve around our three protags? Mhmm. Symbolism spun to deal max damage? We're still recovering from that
It's just Link Click is SUCH a well-written piece of media and I'm not ready for what happens in s3 but at the same time can't wait
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watcheraurora · 3 months
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Burning Bright
Lil Ranchers fic because they were so fun and I miss that dynamic 2.6k words
Tango was always burning. He didn't usually catch things on fire—he knew how to be careful—but he always burned. To be fire, like him, was to live fast and die young. He burned bright, but didn't last long. Keeping a fire alive took more effort than most others tended to want to use. Fire was dangerous. Once his natural lifeforce ran out and burned away, so would he. The only way to live past his lifeforce running out in one world, without jumping to another, was to be fueled. And no one would fuel him. He knew that. His friends loved him, but not at the cost of that amount of effort.
Then... The creeper. The canary.
Jimmy was warm. He was made of soft things. Downy gold feathers and skin unblemished by the calluses Tango had from redstone work. All bark and no bite. He made threats in good fun, knowing full well he'd never even be capable of seeing them through. Despite being all soft edges, he had thick skin. It seemed that everyone else picked on him, and their words slid right off Jimmy's feathers.
And they were tied together. Tango, the fire who burned—and Jimmy, the soft canary with flammable feathers.
Soulbound.
Jimmy was asleep in the big ranch bed, holding a pillow and his feathers fluttering with his breath. The large gold wings splayed out haphazardly over the mattress.
Tango wasn't asleep. Tango should have been asleep. Tango knew it.
He was awake. His hair was casting soft light on the walls of the bedroom. They'd put up the house so quickly together that they hadn't thought much about rooms. Sharing a room was fine. They were soulbound—sharing a bed would have been fine.
But Tango couldn't sleep.
He slipped soundlessly off the large bed and out of the ranch house. The animals in their pens breathed deeply as they slept.
Tango went to the boardwalk built against the side of the mountain, looking down into the gorge. He leaned against the railing, hair flickering above his head, staring out over the landscape.
He couldn't fly here. His Blaze Rods could spin around him, but they wouldn't lift him from the ground like they would on other worlds. Jimmy, with those gloriously huge wings, couldn't fly here. Skizz wasn't here—not this time—but he wouldn't have been able to fly here. Grian couldn't without Admin powers that he couldn't use right now. Not everyone had the ability to fly naturally, but those who did were landbound until further notice.
It was strange, to Tango, not being able to fly. He was smaller than the average Player, and often just used his Blaze Rods to hover at eye level. Jimmy was taller than the average Player. And not being able to look him in the eye on a flat plane was a bit irksome.
He stared across the gorge toward the bases his other friends were constructing.
"Can't sleep?" a voice asked.
Tango's hair flared into a bonfire as he whirled, teeth bared in a threat.
Martyn was strolling up the boardwalk with his hands in his pockets. Not even a torch in hand, let alone a lantern. Lanterns were an expensive waste of iron in a world as small and limited as this one.
Tango didn't know Martyn well, but he knew Jimmy did. He could feel Jimmy's connection to Martyn down the yellow string tying them together inside. But Tango knew Martyn was a loose cannon. A wanderer whose loyalty was fickle. Skizz had warned him to be cautious around Martyn.
"Can't sleep," Tango confirmed nonchalantly, going back to leaning against the fence railing. Watching the stars drift across the sky.
Martyn pulled to a stop right next to Tango and plopped down onto the boardwalk, sticking his legs through the gaps in the fence and letting them dangle off, kicking like a kid in a chair too big for them.
"Let me guess," Tango said, dry and sarcastic. "You're here to warn me not to hurt Jimmy? Because he's your longtime friend and I'm the new, unknown party who got tied to him the moment we landed in this world?"
Martyn scoffed. "No," he replied.
“Why not? You’ve got that older brother energy.”
Martyn laughed. “I’m not going to because I don’t need to. Timmy is quite sh—” Martyn cleared his throat. The world rules didn’t allow for cursing, and the word wouldn’t even leave his throat. “Timmy isn’t good at PvP, but from what I’ve seen you’re worse.”
Tango rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks. Whodda thunk it? The guy with redstone under his nails who builds games can’t sling a sword to save his life. Literally.” Sarcasm rolled off him in waves. Like it always did.
Martyn put his hands behind him on the boardwalk and leaned against them. “Not that it matters anyway. In a fight between soulbounds—well. You both lose.”
“Said from experience,” Tango shot back, remembering the news of Scott, Pearl, Cleo, and Martyn all having troubles with one another spreading around earlier today.
“Obviously,” Martyn replied. He sounded hurt, but not by Tango’s words.
"Is it hard? How close were you and Cleo before this?"
"Not close. Met a few times. I considered us friendly. But with the soulbond... even being this far away feels like I'm missing a piece of myself. Like she took a few of my ribs with them."
"Sorry," Tango said.
Martyn shrugged. "Trust me, I can take it. I actually dropped by when I saw you out here just to chat because... well. Timmy couldn't take it. He's got such a big, soft heart. It's open and it bleeds love for others. He couldn't take his soulbound rejecting him. If it feels like I've lost a couple ribs, he'd feel like several organs were missing. I came to chat because I'm grateful. Timmy is like a younger brother to me. And I'm grateful it's you he's ended up tied to. I'm grateful you just... accepted him immediately. And seem to really care about him too."
"I'm not in the business of being rude to people who don't deserve it," Tango said. "I'm kinda dry, I can admit that. Some people find it abrasive. But I'm not rude. Try not to be, anyway. And Jimmy's good." He reached up and stuck a hand into his burning hair. "He's the one who should be upset about being stuck with me."
Martyn scrunched his eyebrows. "What makes you think that? Timmy has gone out first both times before now."
"I know. But he's not actively dying." Tango dropped his hand from his hair and held it, palm-up, perpendicular to his body. A ball of fire ignited over it. "My kind lives fast. Dies young. We burn our lifeforce. We're dying from the moment we're born. The first spark is the beginning of the end. Case in point: I'm the one who knocked us down to yellow, not him."
Martyn hummed in thought, staring out across the gorge. "Still," he said. "At least he's got you, rather than someone with sharp edges."
Tango looked down at the redstone dust stuck under his nails. "Don't make assumptions about my edges just because Jimmy's are soft. I just know who to sharpen them around."
Martyn laughed. "Oh I can tell," he remarked, drawing his legs back from the edge and pushing to his feet. "And speak of the cursed—"
A loud yawn roused Tango's attention. "Tango?" Jimmy asked tiredly. "What're you doin' out here?" He stepped down the slope and rested an arm on Tango's shoulder, leaning against it like he was going to fall asleep on his feet.
"Just needed the fresh air," Tango says.
Martyn smirked with a quiet, "Hm!" of a laugh before saluting with two fingers and sauntering off. He whistled quietly, spinning his sword casually as he retreated into the darkness.
“Come get some sleep?” Jimmy suggested.
Tango stared after where Martyn had vanished. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
Jimmy pulled Tango back to the ranch house by the forearm and nearly flopped on top of him to go back to bed. Tango laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, one arm behind his head, until Jimmy’s wing draped over top, blocking his view of the ceiling.
Rolling to his side, he smiled at Jimmy’s freckles all scrunched up while he slept before dropping off himself.
“So I’ve noticed that Joel is kind of a di—” Tango coughed on the word he wasn’t allowed to say. “—a jerk to you. What’s up with that?”
Jimmy shrugged, his wings sweeping the air with the motion. “Joel’s like a big brother. Thinks it’s his job to pick on me. Grian too, actually. And Martyn.”
Tango said nothing as he held some wheat out for the cows. One of them chewed at it distractedly. “So… what? Is it like your shtick at this point?”
“Something like that.”
“Did you choose for that to be your shtick?”
Jimmy looked up from where he was planting crops, giving Tango a sarcastic expression through his floppy dirty blond bangs. “Did I choose to always be the butt of everyone’s jokes?” Usually Tango was the sarcastic one in his alliance, but Jimmy was already absorbing some of Tango’s traits. The same way Tango was absorbing some of Jimmy’s.
“Point taken,” Tango said dryly.
Jimmy shrugged again. “It’s not so bad. I know it’s all in good fun and they don't actually mean it. Makes it easy to let the words roll off.”
Tango raised a vibrant yellow brow, swallowing the sharp retort on the tip of his tongue about how being made fun of wasn’t good fun in favor of giving another cow more wheat.
He just shook his head and fed the cows more earnestly. Martyn was right that Tango was worse at PvP than Jimmy, but listening to Jimmy's nonchalance ignited his protective instincts and he wished he could just sling a sword at the other Players who were mean to Jimmy. His fire didn't do anything other than give off light and heat in this world. He couldn't actually burn anything.
After the cows and sheep were fed, he boosted himself up onto the fence. Just sitting on it with his feet braced against the lower cross bar. "Ya wanna know why I keep agreeing to join Grian for these games?" he asked.
Jimmy looked up from the tilled soil. "What?"
Tango repeated his question. Jimmy went to the small hole they'd put water in for irrigation and washed the soil off his hands before joining Tango on the fence.
"Because it's fun?" Jimmy suggested.
Tango raised a sarcastic brow at his soulbound. "I mean, sure. But you've seen how much this is not my usual gig. I don't do fights to the death. Not with any expectation of winning, anyway. I don't swing a sword like it's an extension of my own arm. I make games for people to play. Even here. It's what I do."
"Alright. So. Why do you keep agreeing when Grian asks if you want to participate again? Your friends are here?"
"That, I guess. But I keep agreeing because it brings me to a new world. Every time."
Jimmy scrunched his eyebrows. "Why's that significant?"
Tango's Blaze Rods appeared, orbiting his head quickly before vanishing. "New worlds reset my lifeforce while I'm on them."
"What?"
"I'm fire, Jimmy. My kind... we burn like fire. And all fire requires fuel. For us, it's lifeforce. And we have a finite amount of it. If I want to survive longer than I have lifeforce, I have to be fueled. Like any other fire. And new worlds... refill the tank, as it were. I've never run out of lifeforce yet. But my kind lives fast and dies young. The brighter and hotter we burn, the faster we consume. I keep agreeing because I don't want to put the burden of fueling me on the people I care about."
"Do they... use their lifeforce to fuel you?"
"That's one option. But anything else that can fuel fire can fuel me. Wood, coal, charcoal, lava. But it takes a lot more to power a whole body than a campfire and the need to refuel is constant and not something I can easily achieve on my own. That's a personal failing, though. Being forgetful and easily distracted. So I keep doing this despite being bad at it, because it starts my timer over."
"How long will it take for you to get low?"
"Depends. If I burn bright, it'll be shorter. If I burn low, I can drag it out. It's usually years, but I don't like getting even that close."
Jimmy put his hand on his chest, looked down at it, then looked over toward Tango's heart. "If it comes down to it, you know I'll do what I can."
"Jim. It's not the kind of death that would take you too, even with the link. If it came down to it and my life was running out, I'd appreciate if you helped me gather outside fuel. But don't you dare give me your lifeforce, understood?"
"Tango..."
"Do you understand, Solidarity?" Tango fixed Jimmy with a bloodred glare.
Soft hazel eyes blinked in shock at Tango's edges sharpening. "You can't stop me," he said. One of his favorite threatening phrases to say with a laugh and a broad smile. He wasn't laughing or smiling now.
Tango grabbed Jimmy's arms. "Not an option. If we're here that long, I can stop you, and I will."
"How?"
"Grian's the Admin. He'd delink us if I asked."
"Don't you dare."
Tango hopped off the fence and started moving toward the crops.
"Tango!" Jimmy called, leaping from the fence with a single beat of his wings and rushing after. He grabbed Tango's arm and spun him around. "I'm not losing my rancher. And I'll gather outside fuel, of course. But if the situation was desperate—"
"I won't let it get that desperate," Tango said. "I'm not losing my rancher either and that's not something I'll respawn from. I'm not letting you take that same road. You don't deserve it."
"Hey. Neither do you." Jimmy set his hands on Tango's shoulders, holding him in place.
Tango shrugged, slipping out from under Jimmy's hands. "It's the way my kind has always lived. That's one reason Blazebloods are so uncommon. We don't live long outside of the Nether without lava to fuel us past what we're born with. 'Deserve' has nothing to do with it." He lifted the bag with seeds in it from Jimmy's pocket as he moved away. "Just who I was born."
"Well I hate it," Jimmy said. "I hate that something like that could take you away too early."
Tango's expression morphed into a sly one. "Coming from the canary?"
Jimmy straightened to his full height, several inches taller than Tango. "Yes."
"Ironic." But Tango was smiling. "C'mon. We got work to do before going to check up on other people. Gotta establish our ranch, right buddy?"
Jimmy's expression softened. "Yeah. Right."
They split the seeds between the two of them and went back to planting.
"Hey. Wanna go steal Scar's horse?"
"Heck yeah! Let's do it!"
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bleaksqueak · 11 months
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Curious. I'm a huge horror fan, and I'm in a big mood for some reason or another (... probably the whole RE4 remake thing. Something something.)
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I imagine that the relationship between Hal and Barry slowly grew into an 'accidentally in love' trope. Especially from a universal point, I've seen headcannons of them being lovers in every universe but I feel as if with context, HalBarry slowly grew into falling in love with each other when both least expected it. I imagine that apart from being friends, it's a whole new thing for both of them as they experience their time shared together and once it's realized that the feelings are there (or mutual) it just opens up new things of ones view.
Sure they both have someone canonically, but I imagine what Hal and Carol have is something along platonically soulmates. Sure Barry is in love with Iris but when he's himself AND The Flash, he fits more with Hal in general. (also I do like that Iris can ground Barry but so can many others and Hal, I think that's REALLLYYY important to Barry's personal relationship levels that he has with people. It seems to be an important thing for Speedsters, especially with how the speed force affects them and what can help them out)
They both have flaws but I think becoming heroes showed them to accept their flaws even if they see the worst inside ("I died a sinner. You died a saint."). They both admire each other, even when they are at points where they hate parts of themselves. Hal goes from hating himself to trying to understand that someone as good as Barry is always there for him. Their bond is so strong and I just want to be reminded of the bond they have created in the earlier comics.
ALSO.....i feel that they were for SURE drawn together but to them it feels like accidentally falling in love
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Barry back at it again with his 12 am rambles
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Don't mind the quality but I want to share this, I genuinely think it's so funny that Hal brought something on the trip
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yououghtaknow · 27 days
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genuinely kind of terrified as to what will happen to me when i see bare live in three (three!!!!!!!!) days. i will either go fully insane or transcend mortality or perhaps both. either way i will most likely end up full weeping.
#going to see bare with my mother will be on par with seeing deh with her in regards to our [gestures vaguely] relationship#we will hold hands. we will cry. we will have emotionally intense conversations on the walk back to the hotel.#but guys. i genuinely tried to listen to a clip of just an instrumental from the show and teared up.#bare is just. Such a big part of who i am. i literally wouldn't be anything like i am today without it and the people it brought me.#and i laugh and joke but this is Such a full circle moment for tvp nation.#like i am currently about to self-produce a workshop of my play that has professional theatre companies interested.#and all of that started from writing a silly little show about bare when i was 14 to make cool people online laugh.#and since then the plot of bare (peter's version) Has Happened To Me Twice but i have been so so brave about it#i haven't listened to the full soundtrack since last year and i've been going cold turkey in Anticipation#i just Know my ***** is going to have the most insane reactions on it.#god. it's so crazy to me. what if you were gay and catholic and an angsty pop rock punk opera teen and you grew up to be happy.#anyways. in my feels. going to have lunch and listen to bway breakdown before class.#BECAUSE I GO TO A CLASS NOW!!! EXCITING!!! it's for writing and marketing stuff :) which is super helpful and fun#anyways haven't done a tumblr rant in a while. miss you guys in my phone <3 if you're reading this i love you forever mwah
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That moment when a sad duck man starts unexpectedly singing about coffee while you’re cleaning the kitchen
The Hazbin brainrot is strong today.
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kafkaguy · 3 months
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so i just got to lilienne's shack and for the first time i realised that when you walk in you can hear little lily humming instrument of surrender ...... literally gave me chills
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