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#through my head. i was knitting as fast as i've ever knitted. no exaggeration to say i was knitting to stop myself from attempting to die.
if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.
or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.
regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.
it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.
if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.
i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.
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sebstanseabass · 3 years
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Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 19
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Afterglow chapters
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The atmosphere changed in a snap. Everyone had felt it, except Peter.
Peter's early arrival had you all floored, especially you and Bucky. Oblivious to Peter, you were both dumbfounded, like deer caught in headlights. But this wasn't the best time to process what was going to happen next. You had to think off your feet. Yoy had to show Peter that there was no more than surprise in your faces.
Peter was finally here. That's what matters right now.
The instrumentals of Hungry Eyes kept playing in the background. Bucky's microphone created a feedback sound once he let it rest on his sides, making you all wince. Peter ditched his bags (which magically doubled), and strode towards you, engulfing you in a hug. Although he reeked of damp, mossy grass, and wood, you hugged him back.
"I got in early! How great is that?" He greeted you with enthusiasm laced in his voice. "Oh god, I've missed you, y/n!" He said into your ear.
The rest of the group, laid back on their comfortable seats, watched the whole thing unfold in front of their very eyes. You’d definitely pay to see Nat's look on her face right now.
"Yeah, you did!" you patted his back before pulling away, giving him the best smile you could do. "I've missed you, too. Welcome back, Parker. It's been quite a damn week without you."
Bucky was solid as a rock before Peter moved towards his spot (Bucky gave me a quick glance and a wry smile which you then returned; afterwards, you bit your lip looking at the exchange between the two) and hugged him tight as they exchanged their formalities. "It's nice to have you back, Peter."
"It is nice to be back." Peter replied, pulling away. "Whew, that one week went by real slow, huh? Feels like ages!"
"Yeah." Bucky glanced at you one more time. This time, it was longer. "No kidding."
"Alright everyone, it's nice to see you all together."
The group mumbled agreeably.
"Sam," Peter acknowledged, doing his signature finger gun pointed towards him, "I don't even know why you're here but I will as soon as I take a quick shower right upstairs and get these bags sorted out."
"You might want to take a long one there, buddy." Sam breathed out, fanning the air. "You smell like a caveman."
"Sam." You scolded, shaking your head.
"Yes, babydoll?" He jeered, which you and Bucky didn't like.
Most especially Bucky.
And Peter as well.
You gave Sam a look, hidden from Peter's view, of course, careful not to raise any kind of suspicion. But boy, was Sam giving you and Bucky a hard time. The group knew why he called you that, of course. But not Peter.
"Babydoll?" Peter repeated, a confused expression crossing his face as he turned towards you. "Why is he calling you that ridiculous nickname?"
Peter had always hated when men called you, as he put it, "ridiculous" nickname. You knew if he could punch them all, he would but because of Steve's number one rule (no fighting in the bar), he couldn't. It all started ever since you worked in the bar. You weren’t getting much attention when you were a waitress but you guess, when men see a woman behind the counter making their drinks, apparently, they think you’re easy, and naive, and would fall for their "charm" by calling you nicknames. One minute you’re "darling", the next you’re "doll" or "baby" or, the worst of them all, "mon chéri."
God, did men really think women would be turned on by a French nickname with a horrendous French accent? Perhaps, the idiots do.
You suddenly wondered if Peter felt the same.
"He's just kidding." You mumbled, taking him away from the group. "You know how Sam is."
You started to lead him further towards the door where his bags were.
"I know how he is, y/n." He grew more agitated now, triggered by what Sam had called you. "I've known him longer than you. Okay, what on earth is going on here?" Peter turned around once more, facing them all. His hands were all over the place. Exaggerated gestures that furthered his confused state. "What happened in that one week I was gone? Jeez."
"Hey." You made Peter focus his attention back towards you by grabbing him by the shoulders. By this time, the instrumentals on the karaoke machine were gone. "We get that you're really confused right now and you're tired so why don't you go and take a shower. The night is still young, Parker. I promise we'll tell you everything the second you come back here."
Of course, not everything.
The dead air whistled around, which you hated. He glanced at the group, who was waiting for a response. Their eyes were all on you and Peter. He finally let out a sigh, his shoulders slumped. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry, it's just been kind of a long drive."
With that, Peter scurried towards the apartment to set down his bags and take a shower. He left a trace of awkwardness in the air once he left.
"Is it just me," Nat started as you walked towards the booth, "or did he grow taller? Did he go to, like, a magic place or something?" Everyone looked at her with knitted brows. "Jesus, I'm just lightening up the mood." She said, hands raised up.
You strode towards Sam, a rush of heat climbing its way towards your face. "Seriously? You had to call me that?"
Sam chuckled nervously, eyes flickering between you and his best friend. "I-it was just a joke! I didn't know he'd take it seriously. And helloooo," he said in a singsong voice, dragging the o, "I'm drunk."
"Being drunk isn't an excuse. It should never be." Bucky said, leaning against the booth. He stood with much authority which you found enticing. But you digressed. "You still shouldn't have said it."
"And besides," you chimed in, "Parker hates it when people give me nicknames."
"Alright. I am sorry." He said. His eyes examined you and Bucky. "But how do you think he's going to react when he finds out his favorite person in the world is calling his best friend babydoll in bed?"
You were dumbstruck. Like it was some kind of question in a trivia game you didn't know the answer to. You couldn't think straight hearing the fries grinding in Nat's teeth, probably enjoying the drama unfolding in front of her eyes, Steve's fingers tapping on the wooden table and Nick's fast breathing.
You took a deep breath, and tried hard to ignore all these annoying sounds.
Sam was right. If Peter's reaction to the nickname was already bad, what more if he knew about the truth between you and Bucky? How could he possibly react to it?
"Look." You said, approaching Bucky, and grabbing his pinky with yours. For comfort. "We're still not ready to tell him but we will."
"Yes, soon." Bucky agreed.
"We're just finding the right time."
The truth was, you weren't any close to finding the "the right time." You had been racking our brains since last night on when to tell him. After setting on the when, then you’d move to the next phase of the plan which was how. Now that Peter had come back, you knew you needed to think and act fast before he found out about you and Bucky from other people.
"In the meantime," you said, grabbing your phone and finding Marco's name on my contact list, "let's just enjoy this party as it is. Steve threw this party for a reason and we are going to enjoy it. With or without Peter. No blabbing or hinting — yes I'm talking about you, Sam — about me and Bucky. No nicknames, no references. Nothing."
"You're asking all of us to keep your dirty little secret?" Nick asked. "While we're all drunk?"
"You and Sam are." Bucky chimed in, grabbing their beer bottles. "Steve and Nat aren't so I'm keeping a close eye on you two." He turned towards you, faces close in proximity, and gave you the bottles to stow away. "No more drinks for those two idiots."
Youbnodded and took the beers away from Sam and Nick which earned yoy a couple glares. Nick pouted afterwards like a baby, eyeing the beer bottles in your hand. "No, Nick. I'm cutting you off."
"Take his, not mine!" Nick whined, tilting his head towards Sam. "I didn't blab. This idiot did."
"I don't like your tone, man." Sam argued, mimicking Nick's state.
"One more drink and you'll blab. And please stop acting like kids." you sighed, walking towards the counter, stowing the beer bottles in their cases. Ypunlooked on your phone once again, called Marco and ordered three large pizza boxes — pepperoni, meat, and cheese pizza. All of Peter's favorites.
By the time the phone call ended, Bucky approached you with soft, doe-like eyes. The group resumed singing, Sam and Nick once again hogging the machine, clearly not taking your advice. Sam kept yelling at him to "cut the check!"
"How're you feeling, doll?" He asked, going under the pass through.
"Well, it's now a surprise party." You heaved a sigh, turning around to find a drink with much more of a kick to get you through the night. Your eyes found an unopened bottle of vodka in one of the cabinets. You didn't hesitate to grab it, along with a dry vermouth and some olives.
Bucky's eyes were on you the whole time, watching you making yourself a mean martini. Ypundidn't care if Steve saw you just now. Right now, you needed this. Just one glass to calm your nerves.
Younstirred the liquid with the olives in a stick before downing the whole thing in one gulp.
"As hot as that was," Bucky said, referring to how you drank the martini and how younmade it, "that's your last drink for the night. I'm not letting you get drunk for the wrong reasons. Once was enough."
You set down the glass on the counter with a thud. You lifted your hazel eyes to meet his blue ones. "You're paying for this, by the way."
He chuckled. "I know. I'll take care of it."
You looked cautiously at the door, dreading Peter. Knowing he won't probably be here for another hour, you approached Bucky, discreetly grabbing his hand. It took you a moment to put your thoughts into words.
"James, if we tell Peter, we need to be... sure. Of this. Of us." youbwatched your fingers brush against him on the wooden table.
"We've talked about this, y/n. I am." He reassured, walking closer this time. "It's a big risk but it's one I'm willing to take."
The idea of you jumping into this together, jumping into it with caution gave you a big relief. But right now, it wasn't just an idea anymore. It was real.
It was real in the way he snaked his arm around your waist, in the way he pulled you into a soft, deep kiss, and in the way his lips lingered on your lips. You pulled away, your bodies still close. At that moment, it was just the two of you. Never mind the loud karaoke machine, or the faint noises of the traffic outside, or Sam's out of tune rhythm.
It was just the two of you. In your own little afterglow.
"You're a big risk I'm willing to take." He whispered the words so slow that they swirled around you, pulling you even closer.
"And you're mine too." you smiled.
Several minutes have passed since your little conversation. Nat had teased you and Bucky of being whipped for each other. Of course Sam joined, and then Nick who chanted a little song he made, which, for the life of you, you couldn't even remember. The rest didn’t understand a word he was singing other than the words "Bucky" and "y/n."
Steve, on the other hand, had been silently drinking his beer and eating the whole time. You once gave him an are-you-okay look and he just nodded in response, giving you that classic tight-lipped smile of his.
Bucky was seated beside you, your thighs grazing each other in the little booth. Even accidental touches brought you comfort.
And isn't that just the best damn thing?
Peter had come in after the little performance Nick just gave, thankful that he didn't walk right in the middle of it. Behind him was a staff of Marco's who delivered the pizza boxes. Everyone hurrah'd. You grabbed your wallet from your back pocket but Steve stopped you, handing some bills to the guy.
"Steve, I could've gotten it." You said after the pizza guy left.
He shook his head, setting down his beer on the table. "It's your party, kid. I'm not letting you pay a single cent."
Nat scoffed. "She made herself a drink just earlier. You should charge her for that."
"Woah, y/n drank? That's new." Peter chimed in, squeezing himself in the booth, sitting at the edge. Between you were Sam and Nick. "What else did I miss?"
And so, you told him everything — well, not everything. Only from when Steve fired you (him lying about how why he even came up with it which Peter bought), to Bucky convincing you to take the project collaboration with Sam, to finally agreeing to it, to the whole meeting that happened just three days prior, and to how you’ll proceed from there. Youndidn't know if Nat and Steve wanted to reveal their little thing to Peter so you kept your mouth shut. Not wanting to do to them what you didn't want done to you and Bucky.
"My god," Peter commented, "that really was a long week! I'm quite disappointed I missed all of that!"
Oh, Parker. If only you knew the whole truth.
In return, he gave the gist of the whole corporate retreat. He finally told you where he and the rest of his team went but it was some place you couldn't even pronounce. Some cabin by the lake far away from Manhattan. He didn't bore you too much with the details. All you knew was that they went fishing, hiking and camping in the wild while team building. Along with the stories were photos of him and the place they were staying.
You frowned thinking it would've been fun if he were with friends. Like you guys.
The whole time, Bucky held your hand under the table or rubbed your thighs discreetly so as to not draw much attention.
Nat was an exception. That redhead saw everything, smirking once in a while. You gave her a discreet look from time to time.
Peter congratulated you, toasting his pizza with yours. Thankfully, he didn't need to drink tonight ("No drinks for me tonight or for the next few days").
"Wow, you really came out there like a new man!" you chuckled. He laughed right back but for just a mere moment. His expression changed while taking a bite of his pizza. You began to be nervous as to why this kept happening. Younneeded to go to the toilet.
Getting out of the booth was a chore. Nat, Steve and Bucky had to get up before you could even stand up. Youndidn't get why you didn't just stick the little tables together to make a long one.
You were in the toilet for a little while, leaking everything that youndrank tonight. Your head felt a bit dizzy but younmanaged to stand up afterwards. The voices of your friends were inaudible against the wooden walls. Except Nick's booming laugh.
Once you opened the door, you were greeted by Steve who was standing still, waiting for the toilet to become unoccupied.
"Sorry." you apologized. "Was I too long?"
"No." He replied shortly. You tried to walk past him but he caught your arm. Younlooked at his hand, confused. "Are you sure about this Bucky guy?"
"What?"
"This whole thing with Bucky. You can't actually be serious about this."
Taken aback, you wiggled out of his grasp, successfully yanking your arm out. "And who are you to tell me that?"
"You just met this guy." He answered. You still felt his grip on your arm by his stern tone.
"Weren't you the one who kicked me out of this very bar just for me to go to the roof to meet with this guy that I just met?"
"I thought you would've ended whatever thing you had going with him."
You scoffed. "You're not my father, Steve. I know you have this weird father or brother thing you have with me but I'm an adult. I can take care of my damn self."
"What about that night you were insanely drunk?"
"That... that was a one-time thing. A mistake is what it is!" younhissed. "Everyone makes mistakes."
"Y/n, listen — "
"No." you cut him off. "You listen. Just because you and Nat haven't figured out whatever the hell is going on with you two, doesn't mean you can shit on my relationship. Before you comment on my dating life, I suggest you fix yours first. I'm happy. Bucky's happy. We're both happy. Please mind your own business."
Before you could even go back to the group, Steve called your name. Youngroaned, turning around. "What now?"
He sighed. "You're really going at great lengths for Bucky. Keeping secrets from Parker and all that. Is it really worth it?"
You stood there. Silent. Trying to find your voice.
"Well, I'm about to find out." You replied, turning around, hopefully for the last time. "Later, Steve."
You went back to the group and continued to chat with them. Steve got back after a few moments. His streak of silence was broken when Nat revealed something none of you had ever known before.
"Did you guys know that Steve was a journalist before he became a bar owner?" Nat said, looking at Steve.
You raised your eyebrows, the pizza caught in mid-air. A curiosity sparke, pleased with the new information you had just acquired.
"Steve Rogers? A journalist?" Peter scoffed unbelievably, leaning back against the seat. "No way. No, I don't buy it."
"Me neither." Nick butted in. "He doesn't look like the type. Nuh-uh."
"It's true!" Nat argued. "Tell them, Steve. Come on!"
Steve forced a chuckle, avoiding all your waiting gazes. "Yeah, it's true. I was. I used to work for the New York magazine."
"Why'd you stop?" Bucky's voice surprised you. It was the first time you’ve actually heard him talk to Steve first, except that time when you first introduced them.
Steve's eyes met Bucky's. A strange atmosphere picked up. You couldn't quite point out why. "I was sticking my nose up where it didn't belong." He replied. "I got fired because of that. Boss said I was too... intuitive."
"Isn't that what journalists should be exactly?" You asked.
"Too much of something is bad too, I guess." He shrugged, retreating back his eyes.
"Huh." You said, observing Steve. Eyes stolid. Bearing no emotions at all. "Well, look who's good at keeping secrets. Steve Rogers."
He hummed. "We all got secrets."
And then Nick revealed a ridiculous secret ("I hate the bank! I don't have a bank account!") that lightened up the mood.
The night went on after that, Steve avoiding any questions you had about this past life of his. Nick had the most ridiculous questions followed by Peter. But the night had to end as well. Thankfully, it ended sober.
Leaving Steve, Nat and Nick behind, Bucky, you and Peter headed up the stairs, the elevator ride filled with deafening silence. One you very much loathed. Between Bucky and you was Peter. It was killing you not to touch Bucky.
Bucky left, merely dropping you off in your apartment. He told you he'd come by tomorrow morning to get his stuff that was still in Peter's room.
It killed you not being able to kiss Bucky good night, watching his back getting smaller and disappearing behind the elevator. Peter closed the door after that.
"Boy, I'm tired." You yawned, stretching your arms up. "I'm gonna go ahead. It's nice to have you back, Parker."
Before you could even go to your room and have a nice sleep, Peter called for your name. You lazily replied.
"Yeah?"
"Why'd you do it, y/n?"
Confused, you turned around, meeting his gaze. "What?"
"The project with Sam." He said, walking towards you. His footsteps were heavy in each step. As heavy as his voice was becoming. "Bucky convinced you. Why'd you say yes?"
Trepidation filled your body. A kind of weakness you loathed. But you tried hard to stand on your ground, masking your anxiousness.
The noises outside the apartment, out on the streets mirrored the voices in your head.
"It was a big business opportunity." you found your voice. "A collaboration. And I didn't have much choice knowing that I was going to get fired."
But it seemed like Peter chose not to listen. "For years, I have been trying to get you to work with me. Years, y/n. Years." He sighed in exasperation. His eyes were bloodshot, tears badly wanting to escape. "Why couldn't you have said yes to me?"
His last words were so strong and sharp like a knife piercing right through your flesh, leaving you to bleed out in the open. You opened your mouth to speak, to say something, to say that you were sorry but unfortunately, no words came out. Peter breathed, releasing his strong gaze. "Good night, y/n."
He left you standing there in the middle of the room, realizing now that it would be harder to tell him about you and Bucky. Once you finally had the energy to carry your weight towards your room, you treaded towards it slowly and opened the door, only to be met by a soft knock on your window.
You nearly jumped at the sight outside the window.
"Jesus, Bucky!" you hissed, immediately closing the door behind. You opened the window and let him inside, closing it afterwards. "How did you get there?"
He was panting, trying to catch his breath. "Fire escape."
"It's freezing cold outside." you scolded, grabbing him your blanket and wrapping it around his huge figure.
"I know." he replied. "Maybe you can warm me up." A cheeky smile started to play on his lips as he approached you.
You giggled. "Bucky, not now."
"I'm sorry, doll. I just couldn't leave without a good night kiss."
My heart melted at his words. You placed your hand on his jaw and pecked his lips. He pulled you in closer. You smiled in the kiss.
"Neither can I."
You kissed a little bit more, a bit more passion this time, the window framing you perfectly in the nighttime.
You pulled away, feeling a bit guilty about Peter in his room.
"We need to talk, James." You said, breaking what was a lovely atmosphere. You’ve already had two confrontations today. What was another one?
You sat on the bed and patted the space beside you. Bucky frowned, sitting beside you. "What's wrong?"
"Peter's kind of upset with me accepting your offer to work with Sam." you went straight to the point. "He's been trying to get me to work with him in his company he works at ever since he got the job but I've always declined. And now, I think he's mad or even jealous that I said yes to you. God, you should've seen him, Buck. His eyes were so wide, and red. I've never seen him like that. It didn't look like Peter at all."
It took him quite a while before he spoke. "Do you regret taking up the offer?"
"What, heavens no!" You answered. "Bucky, this has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You're one of them too, of course." You said, seeing his doe-like eyes once more. "I'm just getting a bit more scared now. What if there is no right time for us to tell him? What then?"
He clasped your hands with his large ones, making you stop your trembling. You didn't even notice your hands shaking until now. "There will be a right time, y/n. Right now, we just have to keep this our little secret for a while until we can tell him."
"What happens when he doesn't approve of this?" You started to ramble on once more. "Of us? What happens then?"
"Sweetheart, you don't know what's going to happen but we'll make it work."
You didn't respond. You just kept staring at your joined hands.
"I promise." He added.
You finally nodded, releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding. "Okay."
"Now, if it's okay with you." He moved a little bit closer, kissing your cheek. "I can spend the night here." Another on the other. "With you." then on your lips.
"Peter's in the other room." you whispered in the kiss, amazed at how the mood changed so quickly.
"That's why I'm gonna need you to be quiet, babydoll."
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orangesungie · 6 years
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Whisper Challenge | Park Jisung (NCT)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1.3k
Warnings: mild cursing (calm yo tits its casual manner u know how teenies are)
NOT PROOF-READ!
"I... La...La? Love! ..you...? Wait, what-?"
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Best Friends.
Sure, nothing against that. But what if I see him in another way? What if I want us to look different from what other people see us as.
"Oh wow, you two are so close! It’s fascinating, really."
"Your bond is stronger than iron haha, I wish I had friends like that."
"You two stick together like chewing gum, man."
Haha, yes I know right?
It was one cozy summer night, when Jisung and you spend your time together in your gloomy living room yet again. Just like you always do when Jisung’s boredom gets the best of him as he sprints over to your place without any warning. On this particular night, it seemed as if it couldn't have been any more boring than it ever has. The only difference being… that you’re internally not as calm as you seem on the outside, dangling your arms over the side of the couch while Jisung out of the blue decides to rest his head on your lap. You were thanking god that he had his eyes closed while your cheeks flushed red, otherwise there could have been a huge confusion between you two best friends.
“(Y/N).”
“Yeah?” You looked down at him, barely biting back your smile of adoration. But his eyes are closed anyway, so why bother?
“I know this sounds childish but-“
“Jisung you are a child.”
“- shut up, asshead.”, lovely, “No, but what I planned to say was, how about we play something?” Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion, as Jisung slowly flattered his eyes open to stare up at your questioning expression. He somehow manages to get back up into a sitting position again, purposefully ignoring his cracking bones that put quiete a toll on him after dance practise this morning. You felt bad for Jisung but yet at the same time you really admired his hard work and how he puts all of his power and determination into what he truly loves.
"Like, come on something like those games those youtubers used to hype up a few years ago. You know that whisper challenge thing don't you?" The longer he talked, the higher raised your eyebrows at this oddly specific idea that popped into his head out of the blue. You definetely knew which game he was talking about, one person puts on headphones and plays almost deffening loud music, while trying to figure out what the other person was trying to say by reading it off of their lips. Wow, staring at Jisungs lips definetely wasn't planned in your schedule today, but were you complaining? The rapid beat of your heart speaks for itself.
"That's stupid."
"We literally have nothing else to do, (Y/N)"
"Well I mean... I guess." Jisungs face lit up as he jumped up to get his headphones from his jacket, which he carelessly threw across the floor after he arrived. Well damn, puppy is more exited than expected,,, wait, did I just call him puppy in my head-
"Alright!", Jisung exclaimed exitedly as he plopped down right next to you, plugging the headphones into his phone and already plopping one of them in, "I'll try to guess first, alright?" You nodded at him, making him plop the other headphone in as you awkwardly shifted to sit directly across from him. Shit. What. To do. Now?
You watched him bounce around a little to Taeyeon's song why, as he waited for your cue that you're starting. How you knew which song he was listening to? First of all, this fanboy is really obvious. Second of all, he was literally blasting it so loud that the music leaked out of his ears and he didn't even seem phased by it. However, not wantig him to wait for too long you literally tried to tell him the first thing that came to mind.
"Chenle stinks like fish." Jisung obviously didn't get that at first try, ending up with him looking at you with huge eyes in confusion, with his mouth hanging slightly open. He looked so cute just now that you were struggling not to coo at him and blush out of pure joy and embarrasment.
"Chen-Le.", you waited for his nod, "stinks."
"king?!" Jisung seemed visibly disgusted at what he thought you were trying to say, as you broke down laughing, quickly waving off his idea as he was trying to recover from his shock.
"S t i n k s." You exaggerated your movements and added a little fanning gesture to try to bring the message across properly. Jisung seemed to have understood, his confusion quickly turning into a little grin.
"Like. Fish!" Jisung broke into a small laughter and pulled his headphones out as he rolled his eyes at you.
"I mean, you're not wrong. Your turn now!" You hesitantly took his headphones while he tried to look for a good song to play while you're trying to guess what he's saying. You were kinda scared of embarrassing yourself infront of him, taking too long to guess the answer which is so ridiculous, but you just didn't know why Jisung was making you feel all kinds of ways, making your palms sweaty and shaky. You were disappointed in yourself. This is not how you should be thinking of your best friend.
Wordless, you plopped in the headphones and tried to relax into the song, as Jisung slowly turned up the volume, scared of scaring you or seriously hurt your ears. Once you thought you reached your limit, you nodded and he put his phone aside, softly smiling at you. Your heart almost stopped at the sight and you felt butterflies being happier than ever flying around in your stomach. Stop this shit. I am not supposed to feel like that, you are such a fucking idiot.
You shook off your thoughts and looked at Jisung, he already seemed to have thought of something, so you tried to pay attention without being distracted by the fuzzy feeling in your tummy.
As expected, you didn't get what he was saying on first try. It seemed to be a really short sentence, or he just spoke to fast. Blinking your confusion away, you shook your head to tell him that you didn't get it and unconsiously leaned in a little further, to really focus on what he was saying.
"...I?" you asked, pointing at yourself and looking at him with big, confused deer eyes. He nodded and repeated himself yet again.
"I... La...La? Love! ..you...? Wait, what-?" You immediately ripped out the headphones, not just confused, completely bewildered even. You must have interpreted it wrong.
"Did you say 'I love you'?!" You stared at Jisung, he however looked down at his fidgeting hands, clearing his throat, his face progressively heating up.
"If that's what you understood... you're better at this game than I thought." Silence. Your mouth dropped open in shook, all sorts of emotions running you over, almost making you teary eyed. Jisung just confessed to you. Jisung, the boy you started to develope feelings for which you never thought he would return, now sits infront of you not even being able to look into your eyes because he liked you back all along.
The longer the silence spread through the room, the more embarrassed Jisung got and misinterprets your silence as a rejection. I had seen this coming, he thought.
"...I'm... i'm sorry I just shouldn't have-" you cut him off by throwing your arms around him and pulling him into a heartful hug, a tear almost rolling down your cheeks out of relieve. He froze into shook.
"Jisung, you have no idea..", you almost whispered into the crook of his neck, "I've liked you for so long, I always have."
You heard his breath hitch, slowly breaking out of shock. He almost couldn't believe what you were saying and you were still hugging him tightly. As he realised reality and played your words back and forth through his mind, a huge smile spread across his face and he wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you back just as tight.
"(Y/N)?" You muffeled a quiet 'yes', still not wanting to let go.
"Be mine."
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