#time 4 my sorting tags :)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[heartorbit]

the star you've longed for

#PLEASE WATCH REVUE STARLIGHT!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 #project sekai #revue starlight #pjsk #emu otori #nene kusanagi #emunene #prsk #proseka #yuri win. i make my fav pairing fight tothe death #HAPPY EMUNENE WEEK LOOOOOL #Can i be hinestni think this sucks it took way too long cause i forgot how to draw for a week #im seeing demons and stuff. i feel more normal now. Also you may recall emu has a big hammer for revstar #thats the bottom of it the gem thing all the weapons have hers is sharp #i remember seeing meta post abt how mahiru has a blunt weapon because she never actually aimed for the lead role #rather she only wanted to be by karen's side. so her weapon wasnt capable of cutting anything in the first place #Fastforward to the movie and well LOLLLLL #though i think its funny in the movie her mace is still mostly used for i timidation againstbhikari.. bc again shes not winning for a lead #revue starlight youre neat. maybe i like revstar. #<- has been insane for 4+ years #Needed their pose to be smth where nenes weapon isnt visible because I DONT KNOW WHAT WEAPON TO GIVE HER. OOMFS HELP. I NEED A NENE WEAPON. #i thought some sort of polearm/spear/halberd etc something with range but that can be ambitious #but i feel like smth with that much footwork needed doesnt suit her.. And she cant hsve a sniper i dont think thatwould fucking work #aruru gets pistols in the revue but aruru also is Ummm well shes uhhh. [screaming] [car crash] #throwing knives would be funny wouldnt it. Put that gamer aim to use #idk if the emunene week tag is on here but i'll donit anyways #emuneneweek2024 #i remembered to switch which account this pists to for the first time in like 3 pists. so you get to see all my tags this time #rather than accidentally posting it to the wrong account and having to dekete and repost andngoing IM NOT WRITING ALL THAT AGAIN.

[buglaur]

#ts4 #sims 4 #missing her big time.... #gotta update everyone in the save with the new skin details i use nooooo #in all honesty idk how i feel about rox's gen roles anymore #5 kids.... no thanks #and... i may or may not move virgil to the macmahon save #he can be the babysitter #when i finish playing the rancher save i'll move them over too #i can't cope with multiple gps i need everyone to be in the one place #i haven't updated my game in months tho i gotta start sorting stuff out :( #/roxana #← sooner or later i will have character tags

[diathadevil]

Do you ever think about how Fakir, after him and Ahiru finally broke everything that kept the town of Goldkröne in the ghostly hands of its writer, after they finally have some air of peace over the town finally being able to live in its intended early 2000s environment, that Fakir still feels at times like it's not real and that for a while he fears that if he closes his eyes it'll be back in Drosselmeyer's control. Like it just doesn't feel real to him during that first year of calm, until he feels the dull pain on his recovering hand injury and Ahiru who follows him without a pendant anywhere to be found.

He doesn't feel it's real, the calm finality of this town, but he makes sure to feel the scar on his hand. And he makes sure to hold the little duck and realize that she is who she has always been. Him and the town are finally living peacefully.

#dia talks #princess tutu #He probably starts planning on writing Ahiru into the world mayyybe like 3-4 months into his recovery #he doesn't know what a cell phone is yet but he sure as hell can look at a bookstore and ask for a notebook and pens #i bet that first year in Goldenkröne must be hell because trading deals bring all sorts of new things into the town #Just Fakir going “what the fuck is a scooter?? Wait what's a CAR---” #he ends up having to read a bunch of newspaper articles about “Goldenkröne booming in German tourism!” #Actually does he even know his country's name... Did they all even know they lived in Germany and not JUST a city???? #Drosselmeyer would've really pulled one on them for only talking about the city and its outskirts and NOT the country it resided in #But let's assume they did know. Fakir would have to figure out so much has changed in 2002 Germany compared to whatever time they were in #My god just thinking about the thought of Fakir learning what a television is... or a radio for that matter has me howling internally #local amateur writer is put into a coma after hearing for the very first time german rapper Sido #alternatively: local amateur writer's brain explodes after hearing german Happycore artist Blümchen and dance pop group No Angels #ptutu spoiler #i know its a +20 old show but just in case people wanna watch it i love it enough to tag the post show headcanon #ptutu analysis #ptutu headcanon #ptutu post canon #Also sorry i keep jumbling between Goldkröne and Goldenkröne in the writing its 4 AM and the german part of my brain is a mess lmao #(its supposed to be Goldkröne but for some reason I keep making it into the attribute word Golden so dont mind the mistake) #(if you do i will sob please be gentle towards my polyglot self)

[nullapophenia]

a wip and a doodle

and bonus bits of that lisa:

look i spent too much time on the chest hair to just obliterate it under the scar. and also theres the usual :3 mouth under there sadly he must be hidden.

#isat #tbh i have no idea if i'll finish that wip in a timely fashion #and also because other people r drawing isa hairy now. i feel i must stake my claim (joak) #isat isabeau #in stars and time #time 4 my sorting tags :) #dear lisa; #ns.tiff #real talk though im so glad people r drawing isa hairy now too. like i havent been posting much of my shit b4 like the other day but #it feels So niceys knowing other people also enjoy that #its his trans man swag ........... #for some cool bug fact's on the lisa though: #the earring is completely accidental symbolism but i thought it over and yeah it works. twin tailed comet #i think this shall be postpostgame lisa. postgame lisa has two clear diamond studs #thats all enjoy my shenanigans 👍 #i may be gay. (<- incredible understatement) #torn fabric / OTiF

[landfilloftrash]

afternoon ponderings

#my art #Ace Attorney #Gregory Edgeworth #Manfred von Karma #blueberrypancakes #for my brain to be able to see any sort of romance I have to just. Draw them in situations. Put those lawyers in a situation. #Plantonic and/or silly situations but situations nonetheless ! Anyways— #ok small ramblings time w/ headcanons #von karma paces to help him think- despite his leg- and tends to talk himself through things that happened (based on evidence and testimony #edgeworth switches between bouncing his leg and flipping through books unseeing trying to connect dots without 100% thinking about it-- #letting it sit in his head as he turns it about subconsciously. most times it works- sometimes he just Has to talk through it with someone #and that someone is the one pacing due to his own case at the moment; and so! they talk. case talk small talk. talk! #they aren’t on the same case 4 this art— they’ve have been pinging ideas off each other and complaining about various things for hours now #bc if they were on the Same case they would NOT be this close in proximity except on the crime scene. #absolutely FIENDISHLY protective of their respective evidence. it's a game it's a dance it's a fight and gregory won't stop until he wins #and even then he would never stop; however they aren't on the same case so! they hang out and chat like civilized people. and argue (aff) #rea rambles in the tags #rea’s trash

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. Four drawings of Hollow Knight ocs, in a dull green tone on a small canvas. Taking up the right half is a render of Caramel, a bee wielding a mantis claw across her shoulder and donning a cape in the colors of the aromantic flag. On the left are three colored sketches: the first at the top shows Caramel with her trio of friends, green-mantled bug Hawksbeard talking with her and gray millipede Molini curled around them both. The caption to the right says "Friends who love her" in all caps. In the center-left is a drawing of a tan and brown slugcat with a vulture mask on her face and a spear on her back, captioned "caramel slugcat, what will she do". Last is a sketch of Caramel and the bee nosk Pollux, who's dressed in an asexual flag of their own, and who has taken Caramel's mask to hold it up to its face. Caramel looks at her cheerfully, arm around her back. End ID.]

[Start ID. A rough drawing of Caramel and Hawksbeard in Rain World. They're now a tan slugcat and green scavenger, respectively, seeming less familiar with each other in the image than they are in canon. Caramel now has two spears on her back, holding another spear in one hand and a pearl in the other. Hawksbeard wears a sash of pearls, and offers a lantern to Caramel, the only thing lighting up the drawing in the dim Shaded Citadel. End ID.]

[Start ID. Another drawing of Caramel and Hawksbeard together, sitting down on a blank, dull green background. A cropped tweet by Caramel's head reads "Why are girls allowed to say girlfriend to refer to a platonic friend, but I can't say 'this is my boytoy twink malewife Hawksbeard'", with a spur indicating she's saying it, and the Hawksbeard part being a write-over. Caramel gestures with one hand in a sort of wave and has her other arm around her friend, while Hawksbeard looks at her in slight concern, simply stating "what". End ID.]

Small doodles of Caramel to commemorate the first-ever aromantic visibility day :]

#peridots-art #caramel hk #hawksbeard hk #molini hk #pollux hk #hk ocs #peridots-ocs #hollow knight #'small' i say as if i didn't spend several days on these regardless #i'm fairly sure i'm aro/spec of some sort so the silliness of these shouldn't outshine my delight at an aro day #unfortunately i'm not sure of much to say! rain world brainrot has started settling in though (oh yknow after. 4 months) if it wasn't clear #i have so many feelings on fp and on arti... right i should probably add that tag #rain world #bugs #slugcat rain world #scavenger rain world #also have a few doodles of molini (iterator + scug versions as well as a head shape guide) but this is a caramel-centric appreciation post #ALSO also i need to update past oc tags to include the source material and i've skipped ahead trying to p-rank 6-2. best is 1:04min/Arank #wanted to add crass+heath but didn't have the time! cara's also alloaro so those two can wait until ace day. or like. later this month #*edit from 12 minutes later: nvm i DID p-rank gabe and had to do a victory dance in the other room. 1:13.099 minutes and 3001 style #last edit hopefully: this is my 100th post tagged with bugs. that's pretty cool

[figsbass]

if i could bottle any feeling in the world it would be everything i felt between the last minutes of bahumia into the transition to one big bed

#like. i relistened and like #(relistened to the song not the campaign) #i simply cannot describe how beautiful and incredible and breathtaking that campaign was #there is NOTHING like it in the world #at all #maybe ever will be #it really sort of shifted my whole worldview that 4 people alone could come together and make something so impactful and beautiful #and kind of messy and at times literally so stupid but hilarious but still heart wrenching #like. wow #the feeling of all of that settling over my skin? buzzing and warm and then cooling to the touch and melding with me forever #i will never get over it #AND THEN ONE BIG BED PLAYS #like. truly. and i mean this earnestly and honestly and without hyperbole. it was perfect #there was nothing that could have made it better #sorry guys im emotional in the tags #if you're still reading this i salute you and let's kiss #naddpod #bahumia

[icewindandboringhorror]

Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!

#cats #also hopefully it's not weird to still post photos of George (the brown cat) even after his death a little while ago. I just have so many #beautiful old pictures of him that I still love but just never had the time to sort through or upload (my cat photos folder on my #computer had like 450 pictures in it or something lol... SO many). I feel like it's kind of just honoring or appreciating him #and not actually strange or anything. like what am I supposed to do. delete them?? I want to share them still because he is beautiful and #perfect ! idk. aNYWAY. Also this is their 2022 birthday when they turned 14 years old. (even though I think when I posted #their 2021 bday I might have said they were 14 then too. I was off by a year lol). 2023 when they turned 15 I unfortunately #was feeling kind of sick at the time and didn't really have the energy to do the decorations like I usually do. So they just got a few #treats and stuff. But I didn't know that would be george's last birthday lol. :/ #They also do not really know or care though. they're cats who cannot process it or know the concept of birthdays so. eh #I still have no idea how these got lost on the computer though. Like I had them fully edited ready to post but just sitting in a folder?? #Since MARCH 2022 lol... ??? the folder was in another folder of pictures so maybe that's how I overlooked it #But it's my 'once every 4 months computer organizing and clean out time' so I was going tghrough looking for pictures #I could drafts posts out of or sort or etc. #They got lots more treats for this birthday because one of my friends actually game me a few gifts for them #elderly boys.!!!! #I used to write in the little caption/image description sections to talk about them all individually but at some point tumblr broke that #feature and for so long they never saved or weren't visible so I stopped doing them and just ramble a bunch in the tags instead #but I kind of miss them. Thinking about old posts of the cats where I commented on each photo individually too lol.. the good ole days

[two-crows]

bored and can’t sleep so here’s a various assortment of posts and whatever that remind me of bird rick

#why does mobile tumblr sort of suck HELP #4 am things #but also not at the same time HELP #birdrick #i bet the birdrick tag is sick of seeing my ass AHXKCKKV #rambles

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #cursed image #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #so we're all somewhat inured to teeth #what about.......... nose #(our heater that got replaced with the ac over the summer kicked on for the first time about 7am) #(and immediately set off all 4 smoke alarms at once) #(which is a fun way to wake up lemme tell ya) #(it's all fine this just happens when they put in new heaters) #(and no one thought to tell me cuz it went in in like august when no one's thinking about heating) #(still Bad For Me! but doesn't require any additional fixing of problems just. even more recovery.) #also yes I see I forgot his blushies but I'm Tired #(what with the smoke alarms on top of everything else) #I Also Forgot The Sorting Tags #(but not the one filter tag bless) #favorites

[burinazar]

It's a bit funny that to parts of my circles I'm 'the fandom one'/'the fanfic one'/'the shipping one' as the person they know most prominently into such things

because as much as i love writing my fics and shipping my ships my interest in both of those things is, I think, very narrow and specific compared to most people who are into them? due to my habits being like. very particular

#i think some ppl think of me as ahh my buddy who is always reading fanfic and i'm like. look. i would LIKE to be that. but i'm not #it's comically difficult to get me to sit down and read a new fanfic. for no discernable reason #the fandoms i like to read for don't even have big fic scenes but i've still checked out such a narrow portion of them #(and these fandoms are like. just a few. leaving aside MiA's dead tag. LOGH + T&B + Vorkosigan + ...anything else here would be a lie) #(Queen's Thief + Temeraire + TMA are on the backburner rn for reading fic but they were faves before yet i read SO little of what existed) #(everything else i just check out very occasionally or when directly recc'd) #i think mmmaaaybe 'my buddy who reads tons of fic' would be the case if there were new fics about the sages coming out every day #they're sort of a unique hyperfixation for me lol #but there are NOT. instead there are ((checks)) #four (4) english language belavue fics on AO3 that are not by me #AND two of them i would say do not actually have any ship content and were likely just tagged that to be safe #as far as non ship content there are ((checks again)) 21 English language fics tagged with Belaf and I wrote 13 of them ........ #(and 17 for Vueko and i wrote 10. two of the others barely mention her and shouldn’t be tagged lol) …guys i'm starving............ #ok you read to the bottom of the tags you get to hear a selfish wish #i kind of hope that someday...someone will...write some fic about the sages either because of me or for me #gen or ship it doesnt matter #but this kind of thing usually happens in AO3 exchanges though and there aren't ones in this fandom because the fic scene is so miniscule #i'm literally running one right now off AO3 but have a feeling it will end up being mostly art and also didn't put myself in as a requester #since the people participating have largely made stuff for me as gifts before and i have a glut of lovely work from them #and again that exchange will mostly end up being art i feel and not fic. but some other time... i still wish ... more fic... pleae..plaeabs #there are very specific reasons i don't want to host an MiA fic exchange through AO3. i can guess the kind of stuff some people will reques #(the kind of stuff that's already in the tag.) and it's not stuff i feel like moderating an exchange involving >_> so i won't #but god.. ... ..... someday......i hope....there can be an exchange where i ask for somethinga bout these people.............

[lynaferns]

School is draining any small motivation I had for art

or creativity in general

(tw: I got pretty much depressive in the tags but I needed to dump this somewhere and this may not be the best place but is where I feel better talking about my problems or insecurities, so feel free to ignore)

#vent in the tags #tw vent #i'm tired #and I hate that I'm tired #everytime I try to finish education is worst than the last time. my head can't take any sort of information from the class #no matter how many times they try to explain me or how many times I read and reread the same text #I can't focus. I can't memorize anything. I'm just sitting there in the classroom waiting for the 4 hours to finish to go back home #and spend the rest of the night just doing nothing. staring at the walls or doomscrolling till I have to go to bed and wake up again #for another day of fighting against an stupid anxiety attack in class because I'm going to fail this again #I hate school. I fucking hate it. the most boring stressing overwhelming way of learning #having the teacher talk for 1-2 hours straight and the student listening the whole time not saying anything is stupid #it's so fucking stupid they only want them to be mindless sheeps that only listen #because if you say anything 'no. you're wrong. I'm the teacher and I know better' fucking bullshit #this system is bullshit #and how am I supposed to study a whole school year of history. biology. math etc in less than 4 months?? #everybody was like #'oh it's just 4 months and you'll be out of school!' 'in 4 months you'll get the education!' 'you can finish this in just 4 months!' #I fucking can't! I can't do this in such short time! I can't. focus. on 6. subjects at the same time. my brain can't! #and it's so fucking depressing. I have 4 opportunities to finish this. the longest it could take me is 2 years #I could just focus on 1 or 2 things each time but if I fail too many times I won't have another opportunity like this ever again #and I won't be able to finish highschool education and I. just. can't. #I'm tired of giving my biggest effort and not being enough. I'm tired of getting no satisfaction from any achievement I get #I hate so many things right now #and I have a lot more things in my head right now but I better shut up #you don't have to comfort me. it's ok. I'm not searching for confort. I just needed a place to dump my frustration or something #idk #you can ignore this #I might delete this later

[cactusdying]

i don't think i ever posted them actually. failwoman bonus pic from the time someone called her silly and (^-^)

#cacterart #cacterverse #brutal orchestra oc but i'm too scared to tag it with bo sowwyyyyyyyy #anyway their whole species is based on a world i sort of build in my free time #their sibling is actually. a pretty important character in that world #maybe i should post about that someday #on a note about my borchestra ocs. i have had at least 4 conceptualized bo ocs (her included) in my head since like. july at best #she's the only one that currently has a colored design. the 2 other guys have a design but not colored. and the final girl needs MAJOR + #redesigning. i love having things in my brain and not doing any of them

[kitnapz]

i dont think any other show has had an impact on me as huge as awae. that show consumed my entire life for months and months when i was 15 and nothing has changed its so so dear to me

#ive been rewatching it for the past little bit and omg. #im remembering why i went insane when i heard that the show was canceled for s4. i literally follow amybeth on insta and i see ppl in her #comments begging all the time for season 4 and im not saying thats not annoying and inappropriate but GODDDD. SO TRUE SO TRUEEEEE. #we were ROBBED!!!!!!! #i remember the billboard they put up to try and renew the show and i think it was just an issue with the dude who played gilbert. which in #hindsight yeah that makes sense i remember feeling rly bad for him back in the day #but good lord awae season 4 would have been crazy. obviously i was extremely mentally ill at the time of s3's release so thats why i was so #obsessed HOWEVER watching it now its still deserving of my obsesion. so good #i keep editing these tags but awae was the hugest hyperfixation ive had in all my time of existing. like ive been rly into other sorts of #media ie demon slayer and homestuck but im telling yall for about 10 weeks (awae was releasing one episode per week when they aired s3) #there was not a waking moment where i wasnt thinking about that show. and every sunday i would go into the canadian website using a vpn and #watch that show after i was done with my hw. it was like church for crazy people (me) #ok final edit but i think i filter myself a lot on here in comparison to before cuz i used to overshare wayy too much on tumblr #but this is the realest ive been in a hot minute

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent-ish life pictures and etc.

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1. bright very poofy cloud sky #2. saw these weird bugs on a sidewalk that were clustered in a pile and some of them were sitting butt to butt or something.. I wonder if #that's how they mate?? or maybe just some sortof strange bug fight or something.. interesting little creature party happening #out on the pavement on that day #3. Its kind of hard to see but on the inside of this watermelon there is a slightly lighter formation that sort of looks like a heart shape #4. special breakfast of scrambled eggs. soy sausages. and jarred artichoke heart. with some black coffee and whipped cream + a strawberry #5. ARBY.. fish ...traditional summer treat available only until like september maybe for like a month. but I love them because theyre cheap #lol.. the next closest/cheapest fried fish sort of option that is easily acessible to me is a more upscale fast food place where you can ge #three tiny little chunks of fish maybe the palm of your hand sized for about $17 lol... so 4 arby fried fish chunks for like $5 is good #6. & 7 - very cool sunset colored sort of pink/yellow/orange flower I found growing wild in someone's yard #8. got as a gift from someone who got it for christmas but didn't really want it and asked if I did since everyone knows Im like The Person #Who's Obsessed With Cats out of any group of people.. but I still havent done it lol.. it just sits there gathering dust until I have #the time on top of my 600 other projects. I think it's cool that it's gray so it does look like noodle (my cat) #9. Noodle (the aforementioned gray cat) with fancy lighting behind him #photo diary