#to anyone who follows i'll of course check your blog out and mostly follow !!!!

[supervillainarchaeologist]

Superhero Movie Fatigue Thoughts...

The seemingly infinite obsession people have with thinking the Russos are an authority on all things comic book film means of course they've been forced to wade in on this never-ending conversation about "what's gone wrong." For what it's worth, I thought their answer was fairly diplomatic and anyone who has been following me even briefly knows it costs me QUITE a lot to compliment them (to be honest, Winter Soldier was definitely very good) but they do have a point. I think they're only part-right that viewing habits between generations is to blame, but they were hardly likely to be more frank and say "yeah the recent offerings have been absolute ass" when they're more famous than they could ever dream of being due to Marvel/Disney. Before I get into my own relationship with comic book films I need to give some other context: I am genuinely a film fan in general and the lack of choice some months in the cinema thanks to Marvel Release #367 has started to annoy me. Sometimes there'll be a different film I want to see and it's a case of blink and you'll miss it. Life gets in the way and you didn't find the time to go to the cinema for that one six hour window it was actually playing. I know this seems pretty rich coming from someone who mostly blogs about Loki and other science fiction/fantasy stuff but I do genuinely love films. Despite the existence of streaming my husband and I have a huge Blu-ray and DVD collection. We want more original content at the cinema. I really enjoyed Barbenheimer last year, I can't remember the last time I wanted to go to the cinema for a double feature before then - I think it was 2019! I know there are ways you can criticise that phenomenon too but it felt like an organic build up to something that was a lot of fun and, depending on your view point, you got to see 1 or 2 pretty good films out of it. Christopher Nolan has this whole counter movement and counter-counter movement surrounding him that isn't exactly unearned (I'm boring and fall in the middle, he's got good and bad points) but Oppenheimer was a genuinely great film in my opinion. It didn't feel like three hours and the main performances were all outstanding. By contrast I remember feeling every minute of Endgame's run time. That's not me saying I can't sit for three hours, that's me saying that I think my brain was simply done with the Infinity Saga by that point. (Going to put this under a cut because it's getting quite long...)

Now to circle that back to what the Russos were saying, I do think a lot of folk in my generation basically decided Endgame was a good time to check out. Many of us had seen the bulk of any comic book releases between circa 2000 and 2019, that's from childhood/teens through a lot of life changes. It's not that we don't necessarily love comic book films any more, it's that you become a bit more time poor as you get older for various reasons and you're maybe a bit more choosy about what you are willing to schedule among everything else in your life. Personally I don't have my own kids but I have family (mine and my husband's) scattered all over England and Scotland (which requires a lot of time to visit them) and I've become busier at work over the last five years. A lot of my tumblr posting happens during evenings/weekends or in a flurry when I'm on a tea break. I got to the point with the MCU where I realised that I was getting attached to characters and storylines and canon was just never going to give me the things I wanted. You accept this is part of following fiction btw, it's just that I took the view "what's the point in wasting my time on something that isn't bringing me the joy it once did?" Hence I decided I would no longer go to the cinema for every Marvel release regardless of how good it allegedly was - quality didn't factor in my decision, I think "maybe I'll watch it on Disney+" - which is what I did with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol3. The other thing in the equation is that over that 19-20 year period I mentioned I think people forget that there were other non-MCU films where there's a LOT of drek. I have never enjoyed a Fantastic Four film. The X-Men and original Spider-Man trilogies seemed to fall off a cliff during their third entries and my personal take on that is that both of those third films are overstuffed with references and characters and they also contain stupid decisions like doing the Dark Phoenix saga yet killing Cyclops. At the same time, and speaking of Christopher Nolan, I will always love the Dark Knight trilogy even though TDKR skirts around that third-movie disappointment thing. The MCU felt so much different for a while because even when there were films that maybe felt not quite as good as some of the others, it still managed to pull you in and make you care. But I always knew there was a point where it would start groaning under its own weight and although some people point to the Multiverse Sage I feel it was already happening in Phase 3. Just think of how many characters were on the posters/general promo for Endgame - how many of those characters were in the entire run time for probably less than a dozen or so minutes? It was just too much. But you forgave it because you were invested in seeing how it ended. And then it ended, pissing some people off in the process, and you're surprised that a lot of the audience just doesn't want to do this any more? You know what else this reminds me of... ...welcome to comic books Marvel Studios. You have finally created a wholly authentic page to screen experience right down to people getting fed up of keeping up with everything. I guarantee now the original actors are aging out of their roles you're considering blowing it all up aren't you? Aren't you?! So yes, the Russos are maybe right that younger Gen Z and Gen Alpha would rather consume things instantly in their own time than gather around for event TV/films. But considering that many of us across the generations are into older media and technology (e.g. collecting physical media) I know from observing the audience at my screening of Barbie that there are younger folk who would go to the cinema for an event film...it's just that maybe the MCU defined their childhood in the way the older comic book films (and I mean stuff from earlier than the 00s too, things that were on TV on a Saturday afternoon!) did for me and now that chapter of their life is a nice memory to look back on - they maybe just can't be bothered with going through all that again.

#Marvel Cinematic Universe #Marvel #cinema #films #Russo Brothers #superhero films #superhero fatigue #Barbenheimer #ramblings #meta #maybe...idk? #comic books #comic book films #long post

[wingsofachampion]

OOC Ask: This is such a cool idea! What made you think of something like this?

OOC

Ooooh, this is a fun question!

Alright, so this is a bit of a long story, so I'll put it under a Read More.

So, I'm in this Pokemon fanfic writing community known as Thousand Roads, and sometimes we do events there known as "exquisite corpses". Basically, someone writes a section of a story, another person continues writing that story, but only gets the last few sentences of the previous section for context, and so on until we have a goofy incoherent mess.

About two years ago, we did an exquisite corpse with the theme "Sinnoh Journeyfic". I was starting it off, and I wanted to do PMD stuff, so I decided to write a section about a Tropius from the PMD world becoming a trainer in Sinnoh.

Even after the exquisite corpse finished, the concept kept bouncing around in my mind. Plus, after spending so much time with other trainerfic writers in Thousand Roads, I kinda wanted to try writing one of my own. And with all due respect to the Pokemon-as-trainer fanfics I've seen out there, every single one I've seen uses very humanoid Pokemon as the trainer.

Eventually, after the beginning of a RP where I tested out writing this Tropius character some more, I started writing the fic where Tropius is from, In Tandem. The setting of it changed quite a bit, from Sinnoh to Hoenn to Paldea to Hoenn again, but it still remained the same at its core: A story about a PMD Tropius becoming a trainer in the human world. And that's about when I made this blog, though it started as just an askblog.

Meanwhile, in another server, I was RPing a few OCs in the mainline Pokemon world. A group of online friends known as the Gilded Gaggle of Goofs. I actually have a pkmn irl blog for them at @gildedgaggle, which I need to get back to sometime. Anyways, I started wanting to use them in a story, too, so I decided to use them in In Tandem!

As such, In Tandem became a story about a PMD Tropius becoming a trainer in the human world, and the friends she meets on the internet. Sound familiar?

When I received a suggestion from a friend to join them in participating in pkmn irl, I initially just used gildedgaggle for it. Then I started to experiment a bit, using a now mostly-defunct blog for a Pokemon professor-in-training who was stuck in the PMD world, before deciding to convert this blog, wingsofachampion, from a full-time askblog, into a hybrid askblog and pkmn irl blog.

Of course, I haven't done a lot with the askblog aspects lately, I should really get back to doing that more, but I digress.

Tropius' story was a perfect fit for pkmn irl. Here was this online space that was like it was from the mainline Pokemon world. What better place to put my character from a story about making online friends in the mainline Pokemon world?

Plus, pkmn irl is fantastic practice for writing online interactions in the mainline Pokemon world, and for developing Tropius' character more. It's a huge source of inspiration for In Tandem.

Most of all, though, it's just a lot of fun! Pkmn irl is extremely fun, even if it burnt me out for a while earlier this year. It's so much fun to have Tropius form friendships and bonds with other characters here, and I adore stuff like the found family she has with @friendball-irl. I love writing Tropius, and this is a perfect space to do that.

...this became a lot longer than I expected, but I hope this answers your question!

Also, if you have the time, I'd love if any of you were to check out In Tandem, or any of my other Pokemon fics. It'd mean a lot to me! In Tandem is still only on its second chapter currently, but I'm working hard on chapter 3!

With the obligatory self-shill out of the way, I want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who's following, has followed in the past, is checking this post out a while after I posted it, is just checking out this blog for the first time, anyone who's looked at this blog and thought, "That's cool".

Tropius still has many more adventures to go, so I hope you'll stick around. But even if not, thank you for giving this blog a chance. I was so worried this blog would flop in pkmn irl due to being both heavily rooted in PMD, and run in-universe by a literal Tropius, but I'm overjoyed at how much support I've gotten. It means a lot to me.

Thank you for reading.

(Art by Gravemind)

#ooc #ask #long post #thank you all so much

[bangtide]

any blogs you recommend for a yoonminnie? my tl is deprived and soulless 😭

firstly, it's your dashboard or dash, not tl! i've rbed some posts about using tumblr & will hunt down more, please check them out. i'll discuss army tumblr culture below the read more link.

a tour through my following list yields that nearly all the bangtan blogs i follow are inactive, lmfao. but for basic bangtan content, these were the go-to:

bts-trans (still active, just slow) bangtan (ia) audiorkive (active, but only for new releases) btstwtarchive (active) allforbts (ia, but posted all updates)

as for people and content, here's what i'd have to say about army tumblr culture vs twitter (esp my community there):

the big blogs are mostly gif makers (knjspjm & sugajimin are the two i follow who come to mind). gifs are rlly popular & reposting a gif is offensive.

the same for any sort of content. always give credit to original creators, translators, ect. it's also general practice to link to the source if sharing bangtan content, such as clips.

fic writers, rpf artists, ect are rarer than they used to be due to the porn ban in 2018 when a lot of users left.

but even when you do find them, rpf-heavy text posts (aus, fics, rpf-y fawning) have become unusual outside particular niches. nsfw even more so. most authors just post fics to ao3, and artists focus on art, so on so forth. this is the biggest difference from twitter.

that said, it shouldn't stop you. i'm of the opinion rpf-ing needs to be more visible to those who want to see it.

rpf on tumblr is separated from the real life boys. not perfectly, but more so than on twitter. you should consider tagging rpf-heavy posts & fics as rpf or an equivalent if you post abt it. (my tag for it is "fic-ish")

tumblr blogs are often just people vibing & engaging in what they feel like. even if they're dedicated to one fandom, other posts will show up (jokes, politics, discussion, art, other fandoms, ect), and usually people mix fandoms on one blog.

a lot of bangtan blogs on tumblr are multi group or cover k-pop as a whole.

most of them are sideblogs, meaning op has a main blog that they interact through (like me). this doesn't mean they're more active there.

fanwars between different group fandoms are regarded as incredibly stupid & if you engage in them you'll look very stupid. they don't really happen here anymore.

in general, if you start beef with another blog instead of just blocking and moving on you'll look stupid. fanwars of all kinds are not well-tolerated on tumblr.

solos are more common on tumblr & they're not evil. starting beef with them is also considered dumb. block & move on if you're bothered.

that doesn't mean you can't criticize what you see, but vociferously decrying specific people or subcommunities with no nuance is a bad look.

criticism or expressing negative/neutral opinions of bangtan, hybe/bh, their music, content, and even individual members is normal. some people use it as an excuse to pump their hateboner or go on tirades, but again, if it bothers you block & move on.

that said, reblogging with your addition if you have something insightful to respond with is normal. so is ranting about what you saw without naming anyone.

tumblr is in general a very anti-drama climate compared to twitter. people here truly do their own thing. there are exceptions, of course, but overall you live and let live.

tumblr is also EXTREMELY anti-clout compared to twitter. it's totally fine to talk about how much you like a blog, make a post looking for people to follow or mutuals, ect. making your own post promoting your stuff is even fine as long as it's earnestly about sharing your work. but most people hide their follower counts & don't fixate on visibility. going viral is considered a curse.

lastly, publicizing personal information as a prerequisite for interacting with someone is weird here. you don't need to have your age visible to everyone to follow nsfw blogs without being blocked, for example. minors may be sbed or blocked if op wants to, but not having a public age is normal. anonymity is valued.

@yoonminist is the og yoonmin blog here (another is sugainmycoffee). be warned if you follow me from twt, she's a vers fan. that sort of content rarely shows up on her page, though. using that to segue into another subject i wanted to cover briefly,

top vs bottom culture & discourse on tumblr is not as much of a thing as it is on twitter. this is in large part due to the lack of nsfw + tumblr's overall anti-drama culture, but a lot of rps blogs here genuinely don't care either way. that lends its own issues--namely, the same old underlying sentiments that caring about top/bottom content in a meaningful way is silly, bad, ect & ignorance of how viciously certain communities have been bullied over it + favoring certain flawed but popular narratives. it's similar to twitter but less skewed in favor of one over the other, and vers fans usually do sincerely like it all (as opposed to labeling themselves vers but only engaging with one trope consistently).

crash course concluded.

#highly suggest scrolling to my how-to-tumblr rbs #some of them go over cultural things #that are more broadly about the site #anons #asks #text #tag later

[3rddimension]

I’m going anon cause I don’t want to get harassed on my main blog for what I’m gonna ask here. Why is it so important to know if two celebrities are dating? I love Shayne and Courtney but I don’t ship them or any other real people cause to me it feels invasive, but I kinda would like to know what goes through fans who do need this kind of go out of their way to confirm that they are right. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really affect us and it probably makes the cast be overly cautious of what they post in fear of being misinterpreted or getting their actual relationship outed when they aren’t ready for it to go fully public.

Hey! it’s chill here. Most of the ask here is anon anyway. Let me start by explain a bit of myself first:

So I'm super recently know Smosh and both Courtney & Shayne. (I'll called them C & S) My first exposure to Smosh is on TNTL#106 (Released on Oct 26th 2022) because of Funhaus collab. Which I watched them regularly.

After that, I start watching others Funhaus collab and saw both C & S and instantly found that they have a very unique chemistry. So I decided to explore further more and start falling in love with them. At first, I thought that they're already couple until I found "Sucks At Dating" video series that make me realized they're singles back then. lmao

Then, I start follow C & S on their social to get to know them better and saw that C has YouTube channel and just restart posting vlog after 3 years hiatus. Of course I jump in and watch. After watching S's TikTok and C's vlog, I start seeing the same room all over their video. That's when I first realized that Shourtney might be real.

Let's explain the origin of proof post. I'm mostly using Tumblr as my fandom expression. When I arrived here, Shourtney tag is basically a graveyard. Not a lot of people rarely using it anymore. So I decided to create the post after I saw that Tumblr post:

At first, the post is just this photo and bunch of things that I noticed in their video. But somehow there's still people checking Shourtney tag and found my post. They start sending me to fans IG that post even more proof and stuff. (Which from my standpoint, I really don't like that they put it there because both C & S used IG regularly.) Then it became what the post is today. Which I will ONLY posting the photo or video that they're will to share.

That's about it from me! Let go to your question. Imma go by Q&A bullet point here:

Q: Why is it so important to know if two celebrities are dating?

A: So, after spending time in this fandom. A lot of people here just loved their chemistry and their interaction together and want them to be happy. But in the back of our mind, if they're not dating we should respect their decision and just appreciated those moment that we can see in the video. So when we finally know that they're really dating, we just happy that they're happy and looking for more thing that they're willing to share with us. (Which they recently do btw)

Q: I love Shayne and Courtney but I don’t ship them or any other real people cause to me it feels invasive.

A: Yeah at first we don't really do shipping because real people shipping is MOSTLY IMPOSSIBLE to happen and we want to respect them. But if you watch old SmoshCast. There's a discussion about Shourtney shipping that they talk about. Synopsis is below:

They basically doesn't care if anyone ship them and C was also in shipping situation also. Also, if you're watching C anon Q&A that just released recently. She answered the question that is Shourtney fans annoyed her or not. Which she answer that it's not. (There's also a comment about cyberstalking which happened before my time here. I can do some recap from what I know if anyone interested.)

Q: I kinda would like to know what goes through fans who do need this kind of go out of their way to confirm that they are right.

A: After spending time in the fandom, you will find people who love Shourtney but they don't know that it's real and I hope my post can be of help in this fandom.

Btw, there's also a Shourtney denier. Which they cannot accept that they're really together. They lurked around social and try to shutdown the discussion about them. Even if they start not hiding anything anymore.

Q: At the end of the day, it doesn’t really affect us and it probably makes the cast be overly cautious of what they post in fear of being misinterpreted or getting their actual relationship outed when they aren’t ready for it to go fully public.

A: Yup, it doesn't affect me or others. Which is why we're chilling here and not like think about them 24/7. (There's some shitty people ask that cross the line before and I just shut them down immediately)

Also, they start to don't give a fuck about sharing now. Like last 2-3 weeks. She started posting their selfie like 2-3 photos in the photo dump and another double date selfie with Shelby and her boyfriend. If you look back to last year. You will NEVER see this kind of content from them ever.

Finally, If you watch her community Q&A. There's a question about if she's willing to share her dating life or not. She answered that she's mostly an open book but right now she's on her own pace and everything that she post is for the reason. So you can get that she start to get comfortable to share with us now.

That's pretty much it! If you have anymore question you can send through the ask. I don't care if it's anon or not. Happy to answer the question.

[suedrawl]

sue tries to get her life in order, pt 1

(screams)

This is mostly just me getting vague thoughts and hazy plans on paper and processing better; not necessarily imperative to anyone. I'm kinda getting repetitive at this point BUT I've found some footing. so after this I'll start to tackle more personal things like hygiene, time management--basically things within my bubble

DRAWLING TIME

with that out of the way.

I'm still organizing my feed, who I'm following, and so on. so hopefully, I'll interact more down the road! I have yet to really be checking others' pages...for now :3 and of course, organizing tags/cw/info/so on. any likes/follows/related are going to show up as @suedraws.

speaking of, debating how I want to handle that. honestly, with how little my art account has overall, it might be best to start fresh with a new account; it's hard to decide how and where I want to separate my personal and professional artist self.

the other one that i might possibly use more is @ladykopaka; at this point I'm not really interested in involving myself with the community at large. friends and some groups are exceptions. also have this be a location for my Chasing Stars project

so then that leaves here, @suedrawl. besides being casual/personal use, trying to hype myself up to do some form of blogging and writing. i have an entire actual blog i'd like to use for those reasons.(suedrawl.blog)

finally, while nothing is planned yet--I did create @thepurplenote \o/ (and did invite some folks to use it too!)

still observing how twitter is going to pan out. i'd love to use Instagram more, but it can be a bit draining/overstimulating (even if it's mostly good vibes and love keeping up with friends). facebook is...kinda just there lmao; mostly to see photos of my nephews and nieces, and annoy the hell out of old family friends who are borderline trump-supporters. DeviantArt? No. Otherwise, that leaves Artstation, but that's strictly more business minded. I know everyone is trying things like Mastadon (I recommend it tbh) or pillowfort. I don't really have much time or energy to do those; maybe in the future (keep me updated, always willing to try things)

discord is sorta its entirely own thing--i mostly lurk (love stealing those emojis) in big servers. there are a couple I'm in of friends (gosh i feel bad i need to say hi more). but most of my energy is focused at The Purple Note/friends there. At the end of the day it's my responsibility, and I will continue to maintain it and be mom friend/support all yall wonderful, loving, supportive nerds. Never hesitate to contact me, no matter what time or day. while I'm working on better handling my server mum powers, it's still an important promise to keep of sorts.

Okay, I was about to write up a thing on me Sucking Hard at One to One Chats, but that's just gunna go in its own blog post. BUT TO STATE: I am never ever bothered by good friends, even if I forget to reply. If I have an issue, I will address it. Usually, I'm more than happy to initiate, but I am going to take a step back from that for a bit. But also this is not a sign that you have to or that I will take offense if it's quiet. I'm not usually a person that "needs" interaction from others, rather what gives me purpose is how I can give. It's kinda confusing tho and I'm still trying to understand what I want and need. Thank you for your patience lmao.

if anyone has questions, advice, so on, yell at me! while I'm embracing my solitary needs, I still enjoy all this for many reasons. I'm hoping this can be a jumping point to now face other challenges and obstacles

love u all smooch thank u for reading if you did XD

#sue personal #sue drawling on

[colognedecigarette]

Tag Game

as tagged by @cxsmicmyeon (thanks!)

name: mophead/phé (whichever's fine, honestly)

sign: what are you, astrology cop?! (the crab 🦀)

height: perfect.

time: 19:29 as of writing.

birthday: what are you, birthday cop?! (09 july)

favourite bands/artists: UHHHHH. All Time Low, Lay Zhang, EXO (as the whole group), Florence + The Machine, Hozier, HyunA, ot6 (G)I-DLE, 65daysofstatic, Emiliano Ercoli.

last movie: damn ... i kinda don't remember, honestly. i think maybe X-Men: Days of Future Past?

last show: i binged Modern Family at the start of the pandemic, hasn't watched any other shows since. if serialised youtube videos count, though, i'll put in Billiam's Lost video breakdown/recap.

when i created this blog: last june ...? my previous blog @cigaretteparfum got nuked for like, a week, lol.

what i post: original posts are mostly personal journal and stuff. reblogs are mostly EXO (mainly Yixing), general shitpost, and ... others.

other blogs: @scentlacigarette (general nsfw, RPF, and monsterfuck stuff). then of course there's the aforementioned previous og blog cigaretteparfum with its own set of side blogs (which are honestly too many to manage; part of the reason why i stuck here even after staff un-nuked that blog).

do i get asks: rarely. and tbh if anyone wants to chat i prefer them sending me a direct message. (though ofc, if anyone wants to chat but the prospect of DMs make them feel uncomfy, feel free to use the anon function, lol.)

followers: exactly ten people, last i checked!

average hours of sleep: uhhh. 6-9 hours when normal (nice), 16-18 hours when particularly fatigued (not nice).

instruments: SCREAM.

what i'm wearing: what are you, the fashion cop?! come back with a warrant. (edgy atheistic shirt i got for free from a giveaway that i still wear mostly because honestly the fabric's great, and leggings with cigarette holes because i never learnt me fucking lesson.)

dream job: get paid to do nothing with no expectations in return. (in all honesty, i've no idea.)

dream trip: my dad told me once about this, like, wine convention happening annualy in italy and i've been wanting to visit there with him ever since. but honestly, any trips with me parents would be nice. give me a chance to be a kid again. QwQ

favourite songs: if anyone has seen my answer for @leewalberg's ask game, a lot of these will be repeat answer. but anyway, me favourite songs are ....

Ambush, Amusement Park, Horse, Flying Apsaras, Honey, Bad (so i guess the entire Honey EP), Jade, I'm Not Okay, Goodbye Chistmas, Sheep, MYM (Acoustic), Hold On, Save You, Lay U Down (affectionate whore), and XiangJiang River by LAY

Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night), Coffeeshop Soundtrack, Weightless, Kids in the Dark, Old Scars / Future Hearts, Hometown Heroes / National Nobodies, Outlines, Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me, Time Bomb, Safe, Clumsy, Sleeping In, Monsters, and Everything is Fine by All Time Low

65 Doesn't Understand You, Drove Through Ghosts To Get Here, Radio Protector, and Retreat! Retreat! by 65daysofstatic

Caught, Mother, Hiding, Howl, Strangeness and Charm, Shake It Out, Cosmic Love, Leave My Body, Addicted to Love (cover), My Boy Builds Coffin, Too Much Is Never Enough, Wish That You Were Here, Hunger, The End of Love, and No Choir by Florence + The Machine

Obsession, Call Me Baby, Exodus, Love Me Right, and The Eve by EXO

Wasteland, Baby; Talk, Work Song, It Will Come Back, Sedated, From Eden, In A Week, To Noise Making (Sing) by Hozier

K, Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby, Firefighter, and Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex

i can keep going on but i think these should be enough ....

am not tagging anyone else for the game since idk who to tag, lol. sorry! but if anyone wants to play along, feel free. ^^ (also please tag me because am nosy and i want to know your answers. 👁️👁️)

#tag game #from cxsmicmyeon

[clairecrive]

“Burn” - Bane x reader [Requested]

A/N: this is for this anon. Thanks again for requesting! I missed writing for Bane.

Warnings: angst

Word count: 2.5K

Taglist: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @sopxhiea, @shadow-of-wonder, @fandom--0verdose, @fuseburner, @kind-wolf, @innerpaperexpertcloud (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

The vastity of the night sky had always helped y/n ease her worries. Surely, whatever was bothering her couldn’t be as big and impossible to solve as she was making it out to be. Because, would you look at that? The universe is so big and we’re so small, so insignificant. and that applied to her problems too. 

At least that was what she always told herself whenever she’d feel lost and hopeless. Thinking this way helped her put things into perspective. And sure, not everything was as easily solved but, even in that case, it helped a bit.

And so here they were, she and Bane were laying down staring up at the starry sky. Sometimes, they would spend it in silence, just enjoying the warmth and comfort the other’s body would bring. Others, like this one, they would easily fall into conversations about everything and nothing.

“Was there someone special in your life? Someone you wish to get back to?”

“You mean, romantically?”

He nodded.

“No. Single for life.” She did a peace sign to lighten up her embarrassment but Bane was curious and did not pay it any mind.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve never given your heart to anyone?”

“Well, if you put it that way I have to change my answer to yes. Being in a relationship with someone and giving someone your heart are two wholly different things.”

“Let me rephrase then. Have you ever been in love?”

She really thought about the answer, her mind going back to any romantic involvement she might have had during her life. Even if she scouted her memories, she found that it wasn’t a yes or no question.

“I guess,” not only was the word she chose explicative of her indecision but the tentative tone of her voice left no doubts as to where she was standing. But Bane was confused, to say the least.

“I’ve always been under the impression that love was one of those things where absolute certainty was involved when it came to its presence or absence.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I have had mostly one-sided crushes, you know?” she started but Bane could see the faraway look in her eyes and knew that she had more to tell but was lacking the right words. So he waited.

“I said ‘I guess’ because I don’t really know what love is. I mean, everyone has a different take on it depending on their experiences but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it,” she paused turning to meet his eyes, “once there was a guy I strongly had feelings for. Even that was one-sided though and it took me a long time to recover from that because he was my best friend at the time. Looking back to it, I guess it was love or the closest thing to it that I’ve ever felt for someone. It hasn’t happened again though so I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“Maybe it wasn’t love, just deep infatuation. Or maybe I just confused my love for him as a friend for something more. I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out when I fall in love with someone else. “ She concluded and refrained from correcting that when with if. she couldn’t see herself being as lucky as to have someone that cared about her and that loved her in the future. But Bane didn’t need to know that.

Turns out that those unspoken words had become a sort of oracle, ‘cause here they were now, years after they had that conversation. Just when she thought that she had found that one person to share her life with, to give her heart to, life quickly come into play letting her know that that wasn’t the case.

Because the man that had saved her from a destiny worse than death, who had given her hope and made her trust him to the point where she had felt safe enough to open up to him and allow him close to her heart, had now shattered whatever remained of it.

"So let me get this straight, first you save my life than you decide to keep me with you so you basically kidnap me, get me to fall in love with you, put me through an insanely difficult training so that I could stay with you but it was all done in vain because now you’re  sending me away?"

"I'm not sending you away but you cannot stay here anymore. I’m doing this for you."

"And why is that? What changed?" and when Bane stayed silent she added, "what happened to 'I want you always' ?"

"I did not lie to you." His words were in striking contrast to the ones he had said before but y/n had learned to read him and could tell that this time he was not lying. But then the question naturally arises, what's really going on?

Nothing out of order had happened in the last few days. Bane and she had been the same as always, even his work had proceeded as usual. So what was it? What was she not thinking about? What was she not seeing?

Letting her mind go back through the last day to fat check that nothing happened, she went through their actions. Light breakfast together followed by a not so light tête à tête then they trained together until he had to deal with something for his work and she had occupied herself otherwise. She had called him to see when she could get dinner started and he said that he had a meeting with Talia first but had come right after. They had dinner and while they consumed their healthy and perfectly balanced meal she shared with him whatever came to her mind while he ate in silence. See, nothing out of order.

Wait a minute...

He went to meet Talia.

"It's her, isn't it?" Suddenly, everything was clear. She knew what had happened, what had changed. And she sneered at the pull Talia had on him. Suddenly, she understood but at the same time, the last year lost its meaning.

"I just wish I realized earlier that you didn't care about me as much as you said you did," turning she went to her cabinet to get her stuff, "I wouldn't have put myself through so much otherwise." 

Nodding, she knew what she had to do. She had to leave. There was no reason to stay. Resolute and defeated she put everything her eyes fell on that was hers in a little bag. Clothes, lingerie, cosmetics, books. But when her eyes landed on the little box where she kept everything connected to him, her heart broke further and her anger was fueled. 

In there, there was every present Bane ever gave her. Every little thing that made her think of him in some way. The letters he wrote her whenever spoken words failed him. She knew that going through its content would equal to a chronology of their relationship. If it was possible her heart broke even more. Everything she did to stay with him, everything he did to keep her now was all vain. She gave up so much for him, for a man. Her former self would be ashamed of her and knew that her heartbreak was contributing to making her feel something akin to that. 

"Here," she said walking where he was standing, "take this. I don't want it anymore," and she threw it at his feet. The only acknowledgement on his part was a tilt of his head but it wasn't needed. He knew what it was and what she kept inside of it. He felt a pang in his heart but kept his face void of any emotion. 

"I'll want you always," she said mocking his voice, still stuffing stuff in her bag and chuckled with mirth, "what a load of bullshit." 

"Actually," stilling for a second, with a shirt cramped in her fist she faced him, "I am the biggest clown between us because I believed you." retrying her stuffing, shaking her head she added in a whisper, "I should have known better," but Bane heard. 

As soon as he decided on this course of action, he had also prepared for her reaction. He knew her well and so far she hadn't done anything that he hadn't expected. And while he had been ready, he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He knew how she was looking at this situation, knew that his words had led her to believe it to be so. At the same time, a little part of him wished for her to oppose to his words, to see right through them and see that he was lying. That he had been honest when he had told her those things, he had opened up to her and meant everything. But knew that she was too lost to rage and hurt to think clearly. And it was also the reason why she was acting up and had thrown the box on the floor. He knew that she deeply cared about it and what it meant to her. He almost thought of offering some kind of comfort, to give her some hint about what was really going on. But knew that it would be unfair to her. After all, he was doing for the sake of her safety.

“You know,” her voice brought him back and his eyes were immediately drawn to her, “isn’t it funny how you man always pride yourselves to be strong and all that bullshit when even someone like you, who’s the epitome of masculinity and strength, at the end is totally subjected to a woman?” 

They would always have this kind of conversation. Bane, being a leader of a huge army, had the tendency to be bossy. Even in situations when it wasn’t needed. It was just who he was and he felt the need to remind her of his alfa status an unnecessary lot of times. While she could enjoy this inclination of his when they were in bed, she definitely couldn’t stand it in their everyday life. And now, it made her feel stupid that she had to put with it and learn how to deal with it but when it came to Talia, he just did whatever she told him to. Also, this changed her consideration of him. What a clown. She had tried to warn him about his rather toxic relationship with Talia but he’d always get angry and dismiss the conversation either by leaving or shouting at her. She could remember their last fight about it like it was yesterday. It was also the first time that she had ever doubted her relationship with him. The first time that she had thought that maybe she had made a mistake by staying with him, by falling in love with him. Maybe she should have left as soon as she had rescued her. It wasn’t for the motive of their fight, neither her jealousy and worry about his relationship with Talia, but it had all to do with what he shouted her in rage that made her blood run cold and her heart shatter. For it was said that angry and drunk people were the more honest ones. And since that moment she couldn’t help but wonder if he really thought what he said to her or if it was just an impulse propelled by anger as he had explained.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have saved you.” 

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he decided to twist the knife further.

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

As if one could choose who they fell for, she remembers thinking.

Those words still haunted her to this day. It happened a while ago and Bane had made it up to her, mostly. But it was in situations like this that they would come back and mock her for even forgiving him and thinking that he loved her as she loved him. To think that even a small part of him thought that it was best that he had left her to suffer in the hands of a sex abuser until he would have eventually tired of her and killed made her sick. How could anyone say something like that to another human being? One they presumedly loved? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Bane had then explained that by that he didn’t mean leaving her with her captor but simply bring her with him and keeping her with him. Despite the fact that his explanation made sense, y/n still didn’t think it made things better.

And as for his second statement, it went mostly unmentioned. 

Sure, that had been something he had told her in the beginning. It was after her training required them to spend most of their days together since he wanted to attend to it personally. Y/n knew that being in the military and with his past, it wasn’t easy for Bane to show emotions let alone let someone close enough to him to allow himself to love them. She understood that. She had a few things she was dealing with that made it difficult for her to entertain the idea of something more between them.

But that was almost a year ago. So much had happened in their life and between them that even though the words were not spoken aloud, she felt the shift in both their behaviours when it came to them. Hell, they even started dating. 

Not that any of them labelled it that way. But that was beside the point.

They slept together, they ate together every meal, they lived together. If there was a band on both their left ring fingers and it was a more conventional setting, people would assume they were married. 

While y/n didn’t like thinking about what they had in that way, she surely considered the commitment they had made to each other equivalent to a marriage. 

She hadn’t considered Talia though. 

Or at least, she had hoped that if she ever would try and come between them, Bane would stand up for her. 

Turns out that she really was foolish.

“Whatever, I guess it’s not my problem anymore.” Giving him her back again, she closed the almost full bag and went to put on some shoes and coat. 

“I don’t have any use for it, you should take it with you.”

“Neither have I. Burn it, see if I care.” 

And with that, y/n turned around and walked out of their shared apartment at last.

It hurt to say the words, it hurt that things had ended to abruptly, it hurt that even after all this time he didn’t care about her, it hurt like hell but y/n was resolute in leaving all of this behind her. Yes, it wasn’t going to be easy and maybe it would be like leaving a hot fire trail behind her but at one point the fire would burn out, wouldn’t t? 

It may take a while but she would be okay,

#bane #bane dcu #bane imagine #bane x reader #bane imagines #bane one shot #bane angst #like super angst #mention of Talia #bane x oc #tom hardy bane #TDKR #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy imagines

[cat-sapphics]

Helloooo I just got into dsmp, kinda. I found heaps of fan art on here & decided to check it out! anyway I just saw ur blog and I’m interested in ur opinions, like the general fandom . also in ur about you talk about having strong opinions of who we should support, I’d love to hear!! or even if u have any posts about it lol. have a good day

hi anon!! dsmp is a big focus of my blog but it's not the main and it's only casual, not dedicated or anything, so i can try to help you but you may wanna check out bigger more well-known blogs instead. :,)

but anyway, to start - if you're gonna be on dsmpblr, these were the posts i saved from a while back when i first gave them a read: [X] [X] [X] [X] [X] and also @smp-boundaries is a good blog to skim through for cc boundaries (that's important).

i'll warn you that dsmp analysis here gets incredibly long, complex, and overwhelming - in a good way of course, but i'm neurodivergent and have to be in the mood for it lol. i don't do much of that, but i'll reblog such posts sometimes.

in addition to that, the lore is MASSIVELY long and it just majorly started up again this past weekend consecutively until now after another one of their random long unexplained (but i can guess why) hiatuses. i got into it just about a year ago and it was already a lot of catching-up to do, but i guess the difficulty depends on if you want a summary or to be an expert on the timestamps and quotes of every available VOD. some really good, easily-navigable, organized sources for either, imo, would be [these] [four] [carrds] [here].

my personal advice is a little less so, lmao. as silly as it sounds, i would say just go with the flow and learn and build from there. follow basic tags (linked above with all the Xs), reblog those posts, follow blogs you look through and like, and as you build your dash with analysis, fanart, and general fandom-esque posts, you'll have a platform, even if it's only small. that's what i did and it worked i guess, so i don't know of anything better to do. maybe someone who reads the tags can add on, absolutely anyone with experience may feel free.

ALSO, i just remembered that you mentioned all the drama and discourse and my opinions - only participate if you have the energy and patience and like... actually care and want to. seriously. it's not fun if you don't feel like you have the upper hand and honestly i was only drawn to it because of all the unhealthy internet drama i've been in constantly since i was 12 or 13. but yeah, basically either way just stay away from twitter for a chance at a good experience is pretty much how to sum it all up. if you want to know more from *me*, i did mention in my about that my tag for that on this blog is #pridecat hates mcyttwt. i guess you could learn some of the controversy from that, but just looking up tags in general tumblr like #dsmp discourse, #mcyt discourse, #mcyt drama, #techno drama, #schlatt drama, #tommy neg, #dsmp antis, etc. would have a broader range of ideas. i like it here because most dsmp fans seem to have some common sense and mostly agree that it's all ridiculous and enraging.

apologies for the low-effort and lack of knowledge anon, but you did ask me so i tried my best lololololol i hope it's enough and understandable at least

#mcytblr #dsmpblr #mcyt fandom #dsmp fandom #mcyt #dream smp #dsmp #tales from the smp #tftsmp #dsmp analysis #dsmp meta #dsmp theory #new to tumblr #new to dsmpblr #tumblr guide #dsmpblr guide #ask #anon #pridecat rants #pridecat hates mcyttwt #dsmp guide

[lancetuckershairgel]

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse

Words: 1290

Taglist (open): @southernbell91 @mycupoffanfiction @marvelgirl7 @book-dragon-13 @buckysforeverprincess @tranquil--heart @brat-in-a-teacup @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @jobean12-blog @buckysteveloki-me @anxiousamandapanda @msruchita @bonkybarnes107 @i-have-arrived-bitch @jhangelface0523 @godofplumsandthunder

For the first time Chris dreaded seeing Lily st lunch. He didn't want to tell her what had happened to Lucy after the attempted run away, but he knew she would have questions. He almost went to hide in his office for the period but knew he couldn't disappoint the little girl especially since she was going through so much. He sucked it up and made his way through the line then to the table.  

"Hi Lily" Chris said as he sat down

"Hi." Lily said quietly 

"Are you okay?"

Chris tilted his head. Lily seemed off, sad. Even during the time she lived with her father Lily was always happy, smiling, and oblivious to anything bad going on. 

Lily just shrugged and took a bite of the quinoa and avocado bowl her foster mother packed for her lunch. She wrinkled her nose but ate anyway. 

"If something is bothering you maybe I can help?" 

"Everyone hates me. The kids in my class said my daddy left me because he didn't love me and my new mommy and daddy won't love me either. No one will."

"Lily that's no-"

"They're wrong though." Lily interrupted Chris, looking up at him "Lucy loves me."

"Lucy loves you very much." 

"I wish she hadn't got caught. Is she in jail? Can she come see me?" 

"I...uhm...erm.." Chris didn't know what to say "She's...safe right now. Everything is getting sorted out and it just takes some time but I hope the two of you will be together soon.".

"I hope so too."

"Lily, lots of people love you. Your foster parents love you very much, look at your adorable top and all the yummy food that your foster mom packs for you. Your teachers love you, I love you." 

"You do?" Lily's eyes widened 

"Mhm" Chris smiled softly

"I wish you could be my dad." Lily muttered as she looked at her avocado

The two continued to talk through lunch and by the time the bell rang, Lily was giggling again.  

"Hey Chris?" Lily turned around as she was walking toward her class line "If you see Lucy can you tell her I miss her?" 

"I will" Chris promised 

He knew the girls were having a hard time with the change of life they were experiencing and his heart hurt for them but until the judge reviewed his case there wasn't anything he could do except continue to see Lily at school every day and reassure her that things were going to be okay. 

The next day he left work a little early to visit Lucy at the detention center for visitation day.  He checked in at the front, received the pat down and had his weapon confiscated, then was escorted to the day room where families were already gathering to visit their wayward children.  He sat down at a table that had a few board games and a deck of cards on it and waited for Lucy. 

"Griffin. You got a visitor." A guard yelled from the front of the bunk room.

Lucy was one of the few girls forced to stay out of the day room during visiting hours which made them feel even more like prisoners. Lucy had already assumed she wouldn't have anyone come see her so she was laying in her bed staring at the ceiling. 

"Griffin let's go."

Lucy sighed and climbed down from the bed.

"Who is it?" She asked curiously as she followed the guard out of the door, the heavy bars sliding closed as they exited

"A man, your dad?" The guard glanced over 

"Don't have a dad." Lucy grumbled "And if I did he wouldn't come."

The guard frowned. Most of the girls in here didn't have one or both parents in their lives and it was hard on them when someone talked about theirs. Lucy entered the day room and rolled her eyes when she saw Chris. The two looked at each other for a moment before the guard nudged Lucy.

"Go on." 

Lucy sat across from Chris, looking away from him. He studied her for a moment before finally speaking. 

"You doing ok, Luce?" 

"I'm great Chris. This five star resort is just the vacation I needed to get away from all of life's stresses."

He sighed. Lucy was still angry at him.

"Why are you even here?" 

"Well, I thought you'd like some company, see if you need anything."

Lucy looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

"Why am I the one you picked to be your charity case, Chris?" She asked bitterly "Out of all the kids you know you chose my life to fuck up."

"You're not a charity case, Lucy. I genuinely care about you and your sister. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because no one else has ever cared about us."

Chris looked down. He couldn't imagine the years Lucy spent under the abuse of her father and being ignored by teachers or neighbors. If people had more balls to report situations like hers she could have gotten out a long time ago. 

"My whole life it's just been me and Lily, and you come along wanting to 'help' and just mess it up. We were fine without you." 

"No you weren't." 

"We were." Lucy argued

Chris bit his tongue and decided not to push her further. He could tell by the way she was slowly rocking, picking at her nails, that she was agitated. An outburst would mean trouble for her. He decided to change the subject. 

"You want to play a game?" He asked

"No." 

"Come on" Chris picked up the deck of cards and unwrapped the rubber band "Can you shuffle?" 

"Of course I can shuffle." Lucy snapped, grabbing the cards from his hand and began to shuffle them

"Know any card games?"

"Poker." 

Chris raised his eyebrow. 

"What?" Lucy shrugged as she began to deal the cards "Old man's friends would come over, they'd play. I watched and learned. Mostly because I had to."

"Why'd you have to watch?" 

Lucy placed the remaining cards down and stared deep into Chris' eyes. 

"Usually I was the bet." 

She laughed dryly when he became noticeably uncomfortable. 

"I'm figuring that's not the case here though. Do me a favor, go get a pack of gum and m&ms from the vending machine."

Chris did so and returned with the candy. The girls were only allowed vending snacks if their visitors purchased them and their behavior charts were green. Lucy opened both packs and divided the candy between her and Chris and began the game. 

"How's Lily?" Lucy asked as they played

"She's doing okay. The family she's with is wonderful, they're doing a lot for her." 

"I'm sure they're great." Lucy muttered 

"She misses you." 

"Just play the game." 

Chris could tell that Lucy was getting emotional by the crack in her voice. He stopped talking and played until she beat him, smugly taking all of the candy and shoving it in the pocket of her pants. 

"You're good."

"Well..when I got old enough the old man would let me play. If I won he'd buy food. Had to get good quick."

"Seriously?" Chris thought to himself, wishing he could find Lucy's father just to kill him. 

Visiting hours were almost over and other families were beginning to leave but Chris stayed until the final minute. 

"Lucy, listen. I know things are hard right now and it seems like it's not going to get better but I'm trying. Things just take a little time. Everything is going to be okay, kiddo." 

Lucy looked away from Chris and crossed her arms over herself. 

"I'll see you Sunday okay?" 

Lucy just shrugged. 

#safe haven #fan fiction #fanfic #destroyer!chris #sebastian stan

[barcaavengers]

So I've seen a couple of people doing a list of what they have been doing these quarantine times, so thought to do some of my own as well. Mostly because while I'm holding off just fine, most of my friends are going crazy and running out of things to do. I was normal until last week I got Lay Off at work and now I have extra time for everything. So here are a couple of my own suggestions and how I'm holding up.

1. Read Books. Even those you have already read, go back to it. Read that book you have been postponing.

2. Movies Marathon. Watch all those sagas, watch them in order now that there is a pause in movies. If they have series, add them too. You got suggestions? Add them below! Some ideas:

Star Wars

Harry Potter

Twilight

Pirates of the Caribbean

Predator

Marvel

DC

Jurassic Park

Terminator

Bad Boys

Toy Story

Matrix

Shrek

Star Trek

Lion King

Disney Movies

Saw

Purge

Indiana Jones

3. Clean your room. Throw away/Donate those things you don't need or use anymore. Check all those clothe if they still fit. Organize and redecorate. Change the layout. Organize drawers. If you haven't done it in a while, find out how you'd like to paint your room. Go a little bit more and go for your house.

3. Don't stop in your room, go to the kitchen, laundry room, etc.

4. Learn drawing, do some sketches, practice!

5. Watch Series. All those series in your Netflix List? Take some time to watch them. Got suggestions? Add them below!

6. Write a fanfic. Best way to spend time because your mind will keep giving you scenarios at some point.

7. Board games! Cards! Try doing a card house. Play with your family.

8. Play games online. Download apps. There is a bunch of games to play and one can test your typing skills and race against others. https://play.typeracer.com/

9. Spa Day! Treat yourself! Feel good! My resource has been Pinterest. And good thing is that you start looking for something and find somethinf else that calls your attention and its like "Oh I should check that later".

10. Play Stop with your friends either if its conference or video call. I did it through video call and it was a blast. For those of you who don't know Stop, it a game in which you do a table of several columns with the titles od Name, Last Name, thing, animal, place (country or city wise), food or fruit, color, and you may keep adding on. Do it your own! After the table, someone says "A" outloud and continues the rest of the alphabet in their mind. Someone else says stop and they have to say in which letter they were stopped at and said letter will be the one to use to fill the table.

11. Nails! I am a person that loves to try new designs and things with nails. Mix colors, find idea, try doing a theme based nail art on your favorite movie or series. If you like it? Upload it to give ideas to others! My current one is something easy for Pirates of the Caribbean. I watched the movies the other way and still got two left to get ideas. You don't need a whole nail kit. I started with toothpicks and broken pens.

12. Talk with friends. Just a quick passing by to see how they are doing.

13. GAMES! If you have a console, go ahead and play. Have fun. Meet people. Finish those levels. Start a new one. Start a new game. Do it!

14. Look for crafting ideas. You can do things with newspaper. Just with things that you have home. Youtube can help with this and just Google in general.

15. Find fun ways to do your hair! I am one that my hair is what they call "dead". If I curl it 20min after I got nothing. Find different hair styles to rock for when this is over!

16. Cook! I don't cook at all, mom either (at least not in a daily basis, more like 2 week basis), so I don't think a good outcome would work. But try it!

17. Play. With. Your. Pets! Give them love! Shower them. Train them. JUST LOVE THEM!

18. Learn a new language! I have Duolingo and it has been quite productive. I do it in a different way though. You have an unused notebook? Take it and put it to use. You know how Duolingo divides what you learn? Ex. Pronouns, past, present, basic, etc.? Divide your notebook like that. Write the word, write the translation in your language (or another language if you want to spice things up), and write how you hear it/would pronounce it. Go up the highest level in each or try to do them in the same level a.k.a. Pronouns level 3, Nouns level 3, etc.

19. Learn something new! So the University of Harvard has a page where they have small courses of different topics. Best of all? IT IS FREE! Take one and learn! I'm currently doing one of the Pyramids of Giza! Super interesting! Page to view them: https://online-learning.harvard.edu/catalog/FREE?page=4

20. Plan your next or first trip! I have one planned for London, Paris, Spain for November this year. I still have my hopes up cause I have planned this so well. I don't want to give it up, I'm in denial. So what I do is check the places to go. It doesn't have to be for this year, but plan it out! Check places to visit and plan your budget! I might open a blog for trips (honestly a little bit of everything) so I'll keep you updated but if you have any questions on planning, hit me up! I do it in a way that even mom's friends trust me to plan everything for them.

21. Call your relatives! At least those you get along with. Make sure they are alright. Even if you haven't called them in a while I'm sure they will love to hear you are doing okay!

22. From the newspapers take out the Sudokus, Crosswords, Word Finders, have fun!

23. Write your future goals! Reflect on them!

24. Exercise! But do it in a fun way! Walk the dog. Go to Youtube and check those Dance Central, Just Dance exercise routines with your favorite songs!

25. Plan your next plans! What upcoming events you want to go to when this is over? Write them in the calendar and check information and follow up!

26. Read Comics online! There a few sites that have them free, the old ones and some of the new. Look them up!

27. Learn new games!

28. Sleep!

29. You miss sports? Rewatch your favorite matches.

30. Funny videos on Youtube! I found with my manager Shark Puppet and we couldn't stop laughing so find funny videos to watch by yourself or with friends, family and coworkers!

If anyone wanta to add ideas or suggestions or comments do so! If I find more I'll add them as reblogs. ❤

Stay safe everyone! Stay Home! Have Fun! ❤

#covid19 #quarantine #things to do #to do list #entertainment #stayhome #coronavirus #(mine) #ideas #suggestions

[lancetuckershairgel]

Summary: Chris parts ways with his job, Lucy meets the new resource officer.

Word count: 1,515

Warnings: language, mention of pre meditated self harm, angst

Tag List: @southernbell91 @book-dragon-13 @marvelgirl7 @jobean12-blog @anxiousamandapanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety (if you would like to be added or removed from the tag list let me know)

It was Friday, the day of the goodbye rally the school had insisted on holding for Chris. He understood their reasoning, but it wasn't his thing. He gave his speech, thanking the schools staff and students for a wonderful four years, his eyes scanning the gymnasium for any sign of Lucy and frowning when he couldn't find her. He made his way back to his office to begin packing up and his eyes trailed over the shelves of the bookcase. It was filled with gifts from students, drawings some of the more artistic kids had given him, and a few knick knacks hed purchased to make his office a little less drab. He placed the items one by one into a box, the last thing he reached for being the completed Rubix cube. He picked it up and held it in his hand, thinking about all of the times Lucy had spent in his office. A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and he turned to see Erin, the new resource officer, standing there.

"Come in, I was just finishing up. Make yourself comfortable and I'll give you the run down."

Erin smiled and took a seat behind the desk, looking it over. Chris told her about her new duties: attending the ROTC meetings on Wednesdays, the yearly safety course, and the typical day to day handling the problem kids. 

"Any particular ones I should know about?" 

"They're all good kids, really, but there's a few you'll probably see more than others. Jason's  abit of a bully. Spoiled quarterback, thinks everyone owes him something, you just gotta watch out for how he treats the smaller kids, tends to push them around. Neveah has an attitude, she tends to mouth off a lot to the teachers and skips class. We caught her vaping in the bathroom earlier this year." He paused, realizing that he was still holding the Rubix cube "Then there's Lucy…you'll see her the most, I hope."

"You hope?" Erin's eyebrows rose

"She's..different. Incredibly smart, but stubborn as hell. She wants something she's gonna make sure she gets it and same with if she doesn't. She's going to do what she wants regardless, and there's a definite disregard for authority. The kids got a hard life, I think she's just watching out for herself until she can get out of here."

"Sounds like someone else I know." Erin chuckled with a wink to Chris 

"Yeah" Chris laughed, rubbing the back of his neck "She spent a lot of time in here and I hope she continues to come when she needs to. If you don't mind, I want to leave the chair for her. She's pretty pissed at me right now." 

Chris pointed to the white saucer chair that Lucy preferred. 

"I don't mind at all, whatever helps." 

Chris and Erin talked for a bit more, a little more about Lucy and mostly about the technical aspects of the job. Lockdown drills, bag checks, when to use force on a student. Most things Erin knew from her training, but Chris had some tips anyway. 

"I should get going. I need to get set up at the elementary school and have a meeting with the staff. Good luck, Erin."

Erin stood and gave Chris a hug before closing the door behind him as he left with his box. She looked around the bare office, already planning what to add to it to brighten it up. 

Chris placed his box down on the bench in the front office and asked the secretary to page Lucy to the front. She didn't come to the rally, which didn't surprise him, but he couldn't leave without a proper goodbye. Lucy appeared in the office doorway and rolled her eyes when she saw Chris waiting for her. She turned to leave but Chris followed her, calling after her to stop. 

"Lucy, wait. Don't do this." 

"What do you want, Officer." 

Chris sighed. She called him "Officer" when she was mad. Not just mad at the world, but mad at him, personally. 

"I wanted to check on you. You ok?"

"I'm fine." Lucy crossed her arms. Looking at him sternly 

"You sure?"

"Aren't you leaving? Why do you care if I'm okay or not?" 

"I care, you kn-"

"If you cared you wouldn't leave."

"You know it isn't that easy" 

"Right, because you have yourself to look after, yeah? Being here doesn't work for you anymore so fuck everyone who needs you.".

Chris frowned, guilt rising. 

"The new officer, she knows what to do. Shes good, funny. The kids are going to love her. You'll love her."

"I don't want to."

"Give her a chance, Luce."

"Why? So she can leave me too?" 

Chris went to reply but Lucy flipped him off and stormed back to class. He sighed, turning back to the office and was greeted with a look from the secretary.  He shrugged before he grabbed the box and left, getting in his car and making his way to his new job. 

--

Erin made her way around the building, becoming familiar with the layout and introducing herself to anyone she came across. Some of the kids seemed a bit intimidated by the presence of a new cop but Erin's warm smile and the few jokes she cracked eased their minds a little. She was making her way up the tenth grade hallway when she heard a commotion coming from the girls bathroom. 

"Oh my god!"

"Should we get a teacher?"

"GET THE FUCK OUT"

Erin stepped into the bathroom and surveyed the scene. A group of girls were surrounding the handicap stall, whispering quietly. 

"I swear to God get the fuck out or I'll stab you all."

"Okay girls, let's go, back to class." 

The girls jumped and hurried out of the room, leaving Erin to peer into the stall. Sitting  against the wall was another girl dressed in ripped jeans and an oversized hoodie, the hood pulled over her face. In her hand was a pair of scissors and Erin froze, quickly assessing the situation. 

"What's going on here?"

"Go the hell away."

Erin knelt down and took a closer look at the girl. She could see streaks of tears on her cheeks and bloodshot eyes. 

"Here, let me have those and let's talk. What's your name?" Erin asked softly, reaching for the scissors 

The girl jerked away from Erin and glared up at her with anger filled eyes. 

"Leave."

"I can't do that."

"Sure you can. That's what everyone always does. They leave."

"I'm not going anywhere." Erin sat next to the girl to prove her point, waving away another student who had come in "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The hard way is for me to take this as a threat either to yourself or others and forceably remove the scissors and you from the property, or you could just hand them over and we can talk about what's going on." 

Erin waited to see what choice she'd make and let out a sigh of relief when the scissors were dropped. 

"What's your name?" Erin asked as she pushed the scissors out of reach

"Lucy." 

"I'm Erin. I've heard a lot about you, Lucy."

"Yeah I'm sure you have."

"What are you doing in here?"

"Nothing."

"You had scissors. Why?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do. I'm curious, what were you planning on doing with them?"

"Nothing." 

Chris had said that Lucy wasn't a talker. It took him a long time to get her to say more than a word to him. Erin didn't give up though. 

"Were you going to hurt yourself?" 

"Maybe."

"Why?"

Lucy shrugged. 

"Would you feel more comfortable talking to the counselor?"

"Hell no." 

"Another adult, then? A favorite teacher maybe?"

"Don't have a favorite teacher. They hate me."

"I'm sure that isn't true."

"Everyone hates me." 

"There has to be someone.."

"Chris."

Erin blinked, surprised. 

"Lucy, Chris isn't here. He's go-"

"Gone.  He left. I know."

"Is..is that why you're upset? Were you two close?"

"What? No! I couldn't stand him."

"Uhhuh...I see." Erin smiled softly, knowing what was going on "He thought very fondly of you, though."

Lucy looked over at Erin, a bit taken aback. 

"He did?" 

"He went on about how smart you are, how you had opinions and creative thoughts."

Lucy just shrugged and looked away, more tears forming. 

"You miss him, don't you?"

"No." Lucy grumbled, wiping the tears away angrily 

"It's okay to feel sad, Lucy."

"I'm not sad. I don't get sad. Im angry."

"Angry about what?"

"Everything.  Myself. He left because of me, I know he did. It's my fault all these kids lost him, and maybe...maybe if I was gone, he'd come back."

"Lucy, honey, Chris didn't leave because of you. He needed a better schedule, the elementary school gets out an hour and a half earlier than the high school. Ge has classes to attend at night. This has nothing to do with you."

"Wait"  Lucy's eyes widened "He went to the elementary school?"

"Yes...he-"

"My sister goes there." 

#destroyer!chris #sebastian stan #fan fiction #safe haven

[lancetuckershairgel]

Summary: Chris and Lily have lunch together and Chris and Erin discuss Lucy's situation.

Words: 1,535

Warnings: child neglect, emotions

Tag List: @jobean12-blog @book-dragon-13 @southernbell91 @marvelgirl7 @buckysforeverprincess @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @buckysteveloki-me @msruchita @mycupoffanfictionreplies

Tuesday finally came and Chris had never been so ready to get to work as he was that day. Instead of spending the weekend relaxing Chris worried about Lucy. He woke up early Saturday after a night of restless sleep and staked out the local food bank. He hoped Lucy would show up but when it closed there had been no sign of the girl. He drove around town hoping he'd be able to find her but nothing turned up. He had even checked the station to see if she'd been picked up for hitting up another gas station. Nothing. 

As soon as he got to his office Tuesday he called Erin. After a few rings she answered. 

"Hey, I need a favor."

"Okay, I'll try." Erin said then Chris could hear her order her coffee. He tapped his fingers against his desk as he waited for her to finish. "Sorry, what's up?"

"I need an address. Lucy."

"Is something wrong?"

Chris explained what had happened on Friday night and Erin sighed. 

"I'll text you as soon as I get in. I'll talk to her."

"Thanks Erin, good luck."

"You want to meet for a drink tonight? I know it's a weekday but we should talk about this."

"I agree. Six okay?"

"Good for me."

Chris hung up and went about his day. He tried to get his mind off of Lucy by interacting with the students and stay busy but he couldn't seem to focus on his given tasks. Around noon Chris went into the lunchroom to grab a slice of pizza. The cafeteria ladies greeted him with flirtatious smiles and he blushed and attempted small talk. He was used to the under the radar advances from his female coworkers, the price of being handsome his mother always told him, even the vice principal had made a pass at him just last week. He normally laughed it off and occasionally flirted back but he was in no position to start a relationship. He wasn't in the right head space that day and was completely oblivious when the cashier had basically asked him out when she made a comment about knowing a really good pizza place in the next town. 

When Chris exited the line he scanned the room for a place to sit. His eyes fell on Lily. She was wearing the same purple sweater she wore every day and she was sitting by herself. Her hair was a bit unkempt and she looked tired. Chris made his way over and sat across from her. 

"Hi Lily. Do you remember me?" 

Lily looked up and instantly brightened at the appearance of her playground friend. 

"Hi!" She frowned, her small lips poking out into a pout "I forgot your name."

"Chris." He chuckled 

"Chris!" Lily repeated with a nod "Why are you sitting here?" 

"Well, I saw you sitting alone and I didnt want to sit alone so I thought we could eat lunch together."

"Okay." Lily seemed satisfied with that answer and went back to looking at her unopened lunchbox "No one ever wants to sit with me."

"Why not?" Chris asked as he took a bite of his pizza "You're great company."

"I never have any cool snacks to trade. Just yucky crackers." Lily paused then leaned across the table and whispered "but today I have a surprise! Don't tell anyone cuz I don't want to trade." 

"What kind of surprise?" Chris whispered back, his eyebrows raised and eyes wide with equal excitement for Lily 

Lily opened her lunch box and as she was pulling out a small baggie Chris looked inside to see a half eaten cheese stick that looked too soft to be safe to eat and a small pack of crackers. Lily opened the bag and exposed three small pieces of broken chocolate. 

"Chocolate!" Lily continued to whisper with a bright smile 

"That's a very cool snack. I wouldn't want to trade either."

"Do you want a piece?" Lily picked up one and held it out to Chris 

"No but thank you. You eat your chocolate and enjoy it." 

"Okay." Lily popped the piece in her mouth "I got a whole bar on Friday and I've been eating little bits at a time because I wanted it to last."

"Good idea." Chris nodded and glanced at her lunch again "Did you already eat your sandwich?"

"I didn't have a sandwich."

"Lunchable?"

Lily shook her head. 

"No just this." 

Chris frowned. That wasn't an appropriate meal for a five year old. 

"Do you want pizza?"

"They don't let me get any because I don't gots any money." 

Chris frowned harder. He hated the county's lunch system and the way they denied kids a meal if they didn't have money in their account.  Some of these kids only ate at school. The system was so messed up yet the higher ups only cared about the money, not the benefit of the student. 

"Here." Chris slid his tray across to Lily who blinked up at him with surprise 

"What?" 

"Eat, honey." 

"Thank you." Lily said quietly and began to eat the pizza hungrily, not bothered by the fact that Chris had already taken a bite of it. 

That afternoon Chris left work in a hurry and climbed into his cruiser. He put the address Erin had text him earlier into the navigation system and drove off in the direction he was told. While driving a hundred different scenarios went through his head but none of them were what he saw when he pulled in front of the home.  A two story house with a freshly manicured lawn and a picket fence. Not what he was expecting. He climbed out and got the bag of groceries from the trunk and made his way up the walkway. He knocked on the door and as he waited he noticed a monogramed sign that said "Brookwood". He frowned. A moment later a young woman opened the door. She looked shocked to see a police officer standing on her porch and she shifted the baby that was perched in her arms to the other hip. 

"Can I help you, Officer?" She asked confused 

"Yeah, I'm sorry to bother you Miss but do you know someone by the name of Lucy?"

The woman wrinkled her nose with puzzlement and shook her head. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know anyone by that name."

Chris apologized, feeling a bit embarrassed and defeated. He went back to his car and text Erin. 

"Really? That was what the file said. Maybe they moved?" 

"Maybe. This just keeps getting weirder."

"We'll talk about it at the bar."

At the bar Chris and Erin sat in silence, both taking long sips of their beer as they contemplated Lucy's predicament. 

"She's been fine since you left. I haven't had to pull her out of class and haven't heard anything from her teachers." 

Erin had decided a while back to not tell Chris about the incident in the bathroom with Lucy. It would only make him feel guilty. Erin had tried to communicate and check up on Lucy but she only received silent glares in return. 

Chris told Erin about Lily and the empty lunchbox today and Erin gave a sad shrug of her shoulders. 

"The government is failing these kids and nothing is going to change unless people start speaking up about it." 

Chris agreed and emptied his beer bottle. 

"I just don't know what to do to help them. Not just Lucy and Lily but all of the other kids that are in these situations." 

"You can't save everyone Chris." Erin reached over and took his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze "Follow your heart. You always end up making the right choices." 

Chris gave her a weak smile. The right choice wasn't always the easiest however. After leaving the bar he went to the station. He sat down at the computer and pulled up Lucy's father's file. 

"He's got warrants in four different states including California." Chris text Erin "Mostly drug charges but he's been in and out of jail since he was younger than Lucy. Domestic violence too."

The file had no address and indicated the man's whereabouts was unknown. Chris decided to look up Lucy's name to see if she had a record. Thankfully she had never been arrested but he did pull a file from social services. Normally he'd need a warrant to do so but he didn't have the time to go through the process of putting in the order and waiting for a judge to approve it. Lucy had been in and out of foster care several times, mostly during her father's incarceration for drugs. There was a second file attached to Lucy's and when Chris clicked it his heart fell. There, staring back at him with big brown eyes, was a photograph of a little girl about three years old. There was no mistaking that it was Lily. 

"Lucy and Lily are sisters?" Chris spoke under his breath "Of course they are." 

Chris closed out the program and rubbed his face. He had reached nothing but dead ends but he knew one thing. He had to find those girls. 

#destroyer!chris #sebastian stan #safe haven #fan fiction #fanfic