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adastra121 · 3 months

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Touchstarved OC Relationship Chart

Part 2! This is my Unnamed!MC Luneth's relationship chart, using the template created by @deiimi.

“Fate has weaved our destinies together. Let us hope neither of our threads are cut short.”

Likes Kuras — “A fascinating patient and a fascinating doctor. How appropriate that our paths have crossed.” He saved her life. How can she hold a lesser opinion of him? Finds his presence to be the most calming, but she remains wary of him. Their interactions are amicable and polite.

He is unlike anyone she has ever met before, because of what she’s seen, what she’s sensed from him.

He might hold a greater secret than anyone else in Eridia, and for once, she is unable to foresee the consequences.

She is understandably unsettled by him because of that.

However, he is kind, calm, and patient, so he’s easy to be at ease around. For that, she is grateful and naturally gravitates toward him.

Of all the Touchstarved LIs, Kuras is the one she would most likely voluntarily spend time with.

Likes/Dislikes Leander — “Never trust a mage with an oracle’s mission.” Admires his bravery to a degree. He did offer to be tied up, completely at the mercy of a stranger. It is brave — absolutely foolish, yes, but undoubtedly brave. She thinks he’s a bit of an idiot.

Would point out his blush every time. “Leander, you have gone red. Do you require water?” I think out of all my Touchstarved MCs, she embarrasses him the most often unintentionally. Good for her.

“I can keep you safe as long as you trust me.” “…Okay.” (disbelieving)

You know that one SNL skit with Benadryl Gingersnap and the guy just saying, “Okay.” in the most unaffected tone? That’s Leander and Luneth.

Leander doing his utmost to charm her, and Luneth responds with an unfazed, “Cool. Moving on.”

The only one of my MCs who refused to touch him so she saw that scene.

He crossed a line when he grabbed her, not only did he ignore her warnings, it was also incredibly foolish and reckless. Both of them could have gotten hurt from his refusal to follow her lead.

He’s not a direct threat to her (yet) but she continues to be wary around him.

Not planning on doing Leander’s route with her, but I feel like they’d be hilarious together. And it’s not even like he wouldn’t be her type. The thing is, she’s fallen for a “heroic” mage before…but it didn’t end well.

All of their interactions feel like she’s going, “This could have been an email.”

Dislikes Vere — “You can peer into souls as easily as you breathe, yet you still see so little.” She believes he acts difficult on purpose and she would be right. As someone with a rigid sense of right and wrong, she dislikes his flippant morals. He claims to be old enough to have witnessed Eridia’s ascension, yet he has all the restraint and maturity of a child.

Basically, “you had a hundred years to grow out of it and you still act like this? Cringe.”

I feel like the dislike would be mutual. Vere would find her too rigid and strict with herself and others. It’s like forcing a paladin and a rogue to work together.

His power does not unnerve her, because she’d been around seers and clerics her entire life, and she has her own gift of sight.

Yes, she would prefer to keep her past and her secrets under wraps, but there was very little privacy in the temple. She survived then, she’ll survive now.

She just hopes the little fox won’t do anything drastic for a power fantasy. It would be…inconvenient.

And although his power of sight is something she’s used to, she knows his other abilities are a very real threat. Unlike him, she is not a fighter nor a killer. If he chooses to sink his teeth into her, she has little way to stop him and for some reason, he seems to find her soul irresistible. “Kindly resist it.” So she remains on guard.

Oddly, as much as she dislikes him, she trusts his instincts the most.

Luneth is an efficient oracle and prefers to take the path of least resistance where she is able — and then you have Vere. A restless, hedonistic, chaotic obstacle that threatens to not only block off but also completely destroy the path to her objective, not even necessarily on purpose. Oh, but she has a feeling that he would.

As of the demo, they are mutually disappointed in each other — Vere finds Luneth imposes too many restrictions on herself that prevents her from realizing her actual strength and Luneth thinks Vere has the potential to be more than his facade, more than his desire for power, even. Both of them are going, “You could be so much more.” at each other about different things.

Likes/Dislikes Ais — “…Is there a bird in here?” Her feelings about him are similar to her feelings about Vere, to a lesser degree. He seems to have been honest with her thus far, so she holds some respect for him.

Ais is a bit of a bastard but he’s more manageable than Vere. At least he doesn’t go out of his way to get in hers.

She has very neutral feelings toward him.

To be fair, she has very neutral feelings toward most people.

Vere seems to hold some regard for him and she knows that Vere can see into people’s souls, so she assumes that Ais is one of the more genuine people in Eridia.

If it weren’t for Vere and Kuras, however, I don’t think she would interact with him very often.

They are on different paths, but there is potential for a strong friendship between them.

Her quote is in response to: “You look lost, little sparrow.” “…?” *looks behind her*

Dislikes Mhin — “Calm yourself. There is no need for such hostility.” She’s glad that she is still alive due to Mhin’s actions, but in all honesty, she just happened to be in the right place at the right time. So she doesn't feel very indebted to them, at least, not in the way she does Kuras.

They tell her they didn’t save her, she was only in the near vicinity of their mark and she believes them. Their goal of killing the Soulless just so happened to be beneficial to her. That is the extent of their exchange that first meeting and she owes them nothing. That works just fine for her.

Luneth is often annoyed by Mhin’s temper and standoffish attitude. It clashes with her cool, detached, and reticent nature.

Lowkey judges them for not having a better handle on their emotions but that could also just be projection on her end.

Mhin makes her feel more like an inconvenience to them than anything else, so…she simply won’t inconvenience them.

The hunter seems to prefer to keep to themselves and Luneth does the same.

#and I think I’ve caught up now with luneth #whew #she is initially very wary and mistrustful of all the lis because everyone in the only world she'd ever known had lied to her.#that includes the person who was trying to get her out and see the truth. they double-crossed her as well.#if she can't even trust the people she loved and thought she knew how can she possibly trust these five strangers #all with their own mysterious agendas and futures she cannot see #like alon she does not feel particularly close to anyone yet but that'll change with whichever character route she goes for #like jin she is more cautious about her relationships now #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved oc #luneth the unnamed #touchstarved kuras #touchstarved leander #touchstarved vere #touchstarved ais #touchstarved mhin #my oc #my original character #oc

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hecoxthirst · 2 months

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Thank you so much @punk-gremlin for the tag. For those who don't know how this works, you post the first and last lines of your ten most recent fics (if you have that many fics) 1. Can I guess who kissed me? Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Courtney was the one to bring up the idea for the first time." and "This is the happiest he’s ever been."

2. Alone doesn't suit you Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Ian has been stressing about today since Anthony agreed to meet." and "Anthony nods and places a kiss to Ian’s temple." 3. Sharing bed like little kids Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Sharing a bed with an older version of Anthony feels so odd." and "He wouldn’t want to belong to anyone else." 4. Ivy and forget-me-nots Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Everyone in the world is born with a little bud drawn on their inner wrist." and "Without having to think about it too much, he just does the most natural thing he could do. He kisses his soulmate." 5. Careful what you wish for Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Anthony gradually wakes up." and "Turns out he can get adult Anthony flustered too, after all." 6. No thoughts, head full (of cum) Eddie Clayton/Charlie Ross (Ghostmates) "Charlie is quietly focusing on his work, doing some line art on his new tablet." and "He... has a feeling he’s going to be thinking about this experience for a long time." 7. Good girl Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Ian feels like he’s perfected the fifties housewife look at this point." and "He leans in and connects their lips." 8. Oh let me use you baby, I love you Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Anthony’s on his bed, hand in his pants, trying to picture touching his girlfriend." and "Whatever is going to happen, he knows they’ll get through it together." 9. A part of me that will never be mine Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "There’s something familiar about this scene." and "So then, why does he desperately wish he could wake up?" 10. What if you closed your eyes Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "It’s a quiet afternoon, Ian sits on his couch listening to Anthony recount what was going through his mind when they shot the Who Slapped Me video." and "To have Anthony like this, the way he has him now? He’d endure all that and more." I don't know how many people I'm supposed to tag, or who to tag for the matter. I don't know who in this fandom has already done this, but I assume everyone 'cos everyone is just tagging each other lol So I'm gonna throw in a bunch of my friends from my older fandoms! @zeldahime @prewar-james @khazadspoon @feral-teeth @blondeforyou @commander-kiranerys If any of you have already done this or have no interest in doing this feel free to ignore <333 ily guys

#tag game #okay this was fun but uhhh #it really felt like putting a fucking mirror to my face #mh. so that's something i wrote huh #yes i put the 'head full of cum' fic there i could have cheated and skipped it #but i'm nOT GONNA DENY THE TRUTH #i stand by that title #i feel like for some of these the first and last line are very telling lmao #my fics #self promo #ianthony #hey guys hi it's me shriggy #i know y'all don't care about this fandom #feel free to close your eyes and pretend you do not see me writing smosh rpf #in case you were wondering what i've been up to lol #thank u jace for tagging me #i could have put this on my main but to be real with you: i simply am not gonna put my rpf and incest acc on my main LMAO leave me alone

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misty-wisp · 1 year

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sometimes i wonder how things would be when hero inevitably has to go back to college after the events of the game

he probably wouldn't be doing very well, depending on the ending

#though since monty's here(that fella's existence being for my fic and all) he's basically just not handling the truth very well #ngl i just wanted an excuse to draw him </3 hero's shitty(?) roommate my beloved #idk why i drew this like a storyboard frame leave me alone i was feeling lazy #omori #omori hero #oc: monty #my art

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chirpsythismorning · 11 months

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re Lettergate: Lettergate, but it's El's pre-spring break letter laying crumpled somewhere in Mike's room. Reminding him what El said about the painting. Making Mike wonder in a letter of mostly lies was the part about Will also one? Mike's gears spinning-> Why did Will have it at the airport not El? Why did Will bring it with him? Why wait to give it to him if it had been from her all along? What would make Will lie to him like that? Questions for both Mike and to some casual viewers to think about if they hadn't already. We know it doesn't add up and why, but does Mike?

Right?!?!? Like it's such a mind fuck.

I'm still not certain about that scene, and that's probably what I love about it so much.

I could see it being bunch of different scenarios.

Initially when s4 came out, I was very confident Mike didn't see Will crying. I even made this post about it that blew up, bc I could genuinely relate to Will's situation, where you're facing the window in the car, crying as quietly as you can in hopes that no will notice.

But then as time passed, I rewatched the scene more and I started to notice all of Mike's micro-expressions (the first time I watched it, I didn't notice any of them...), with him going from bright and happy upon thinking the painting for Will's crush (according to El), was actually for him, only for Will to say it was commissioned by El and with Mike now looking extremely confused.

I kind of take that first reaction as something the entire fandom overlooks, both ga and bylers. Because it's clear from the start of that moment Mike WANTS the painting to be for him from Will, and he's visibly relieved to find out it is, only to be visibly dejected when he finds out that it's not.

And like you said, then comes the uncertainty for Mike that this could have been just another thing El lied about in her letter, so him assuming Will was painting something for his crush might have not even based in reality in the first place?

Also, why would Will lie to him? Will never lies to him! At least not something as big as this. Which is why fans have acknowledged some of the notes from the score Being Different matching both parts of The First I love You and The First Lie. There is something sort of special about Mike just believing Will, and the importance of that being conveyed through that score basically. I do get that. Then again, Being Different is mostly Will's perspective on the situation at hand (and he's known to be an unreliable narrator). This is him saying I love you to Mike for the first time (veiled) and this is him also lying to him about something big for the first time.

But again, after rewatching that scene god knows how many times now, it's clear based on Mike's emotions throughout that he is having some sort of realization and conundrum.

In fact, he looks most emotional and effected when Will starts describing the situation of their relationship, not him and El's.

When Will starts talking about feeling different and like a mistake and how Mike makes him feel like he's none those things, we know that can't possibly apply to Mike and El's dynamic at all. In fact, we just saw that that was the whole reason for their big fight, with El being convinced Mike just saw her as a monster like everyone else, with him deflecting by saying she was a superhero, not acknowledging the core of the issue at all. This is something him and El never touch on again, face to face. All we have is their fight, them reuniting and saying they missed each other, followed by Mike jumping into saying much of what he said in their fight during his monologue, things that literally upset her last time (denying he never said I love you), mixed with some inspiration from Will, and with a dash of trauma bonding phrasing that would come off as romantic to the majority, but also arguably as platonic and yet just as meaningful. But the pressure of it being romantic is what made it so hard to watch, because we know Mike's heart is conflicted right now.

The issue I have with the interpretation that Mike didn't pick up on Will's feelings at all though, is that there is something so much more impactful than all of that stuff I have just said combined, and it's the whole I didn't say it/You didn't have to line. That was really beautiful exchange that sort of encapsulated their whole relationship, and so having that ring true in the moment when it mattered most? Epic.

It meant everything for Mike to read between the lines in the van scene, as it would have cemented this truth between them that the love they feel for each other doesn't need to be outright said, they just know based on how they make each other feel. Like that's the whole point.

And by the end of that scene, Mike looks like someone who understands.

When Will is emotional looking out the window talking about being a mistake, we get Mike out of focus in the background looking Will up and down very sympathetic. I don't know why he would have such strong indicators of feeling sympathy for an emotional Will, describing things that sound an awful lot like their circumstances, unless he somehow picked up on what Will was saying despite Will not outright saying it?

The way Mike literally looks stunned and amazed when Will starts rambling and saying things that word for word describe him and Will? Why would he react like that if he had absolutely no thoughts in his head?

Gonna be honest and say the most obvious reason he would figure out Will is lying, is that El does not know an iota about DND... Like she doesn't know anything. She would have to have asked Will to dig deep and do something personal for her to give to Mike... And that just feels like it would be a quick obvious indicator for Mike that this has to be how Will feel's if it's coming from his knowledge about all of it? That in and of itself makes me feel like Mike would easily come to that conclusion that this is Will's feelings for him and he goes from being happy to sad to happy again bc he is relieved that the truth is it is for him, even if neither of them can face it rn.

More than anything on the Mike and El front, I think Mike knows that El deserves so much more than being settled for, which is why he's having a hard time playing along for much longer.

I think he would have preferred they stay friends at the end of s3 with them having been that way for the last 3 months before the epilogue, but it's not like Mike could say no thanks? That wasn't an option in any shape/form. After everything El just went through, and everything she's done for him and his friends, how could Mike hear her say I love you, and reject that? The fact that he does care for her very much is what makes it so tragic that he is suffering and not allowing himself to open up about it, bc he feels like if he did, he would be selfish. It would be selfish to break it off when she wants to be together now and is approaching their relationship romantically, only for him to go against that. And so he plays the part, and he does it really unconvincingly...

As he is having these moments in s4, I think it is him sort of accepting something that he has just started to see as inevitable because it's not like he can hide from the truth forever. Unless he wants to be miserable like his parents, and clearly he is feeling the pressure to just go along with it, while also deep down wanting to reject it, and we see how that blows over in the end, with it being way worse than he ever imagined (apocalypse proportions? Like, Jesus Mike).

I will say, that as a boy that is still technically in a relationship with someone, Mike probably felt like he couldn't be like Yes Will, I like you back. The best he could do was give him a look that said that reassuringly and then try to process it. Him facing the truth in that moment was never an option while him and El still hadn't talked things over. Also him facing a crying Will, would have only made him cry himself arguably, meaning his only option was to sit there looking as emotionless as possible (rink-o-mania teas). I think what we have here is honestly a s3 ending parallel right in front of us but without us being able to see Mike's side of it. We've got Will and Mike and even Jonathan. Will cried hoping Jonathan wouldn't notice, but he did. Mike biked home and hugged his mom looking just heartbroken. But imagine those s3 shots with Mike out of focus? You probably wouldn't know for certain if he was sad or not? I honestly feel like if we had seen Mike in the van, he would have looked like he was holding back everything he could, making those parallels overlap perfectly.

Then after the van scene, Mike's reuniting with El again and he's saying I'm here I'm here and you can see it on his face, he's worrying too much about El again. He's worried that he's going to break her if things end romantically between them and as a result she won't be in his life anymore. That's not what he wants at all. But then his eyes search for Will and he's so conflicted, bc he literally just days ago confided in Will that he didn't want to do this anymore. And yet still, he doesn't want to hurt El, nor does he want to hurt Will. *enter explosion in the background behind Mike, followed by Argyle going AW SHIT AW SHIT AW SHIT as Will and El hug and Mike watches....*

Then Surfer Boy happens, and El is reaching to hold his hands and now she's saying she missed him. I imagine he was terrified that because of their fight, she wouldn't want him in her life anymore, and so he was relieved on that front. But then the pressure is back again. He's back to square one, at the end of s3 where he feels like the only way El will ever want him is romantically, and he has to fit that role in order to be in her life. Not only is it something he feels obligated to do to stay connected to El, but also it seems like the most safest option in the world he lives in. It's what is expected from everyone around him. It makes sense. So it doesn't really matter if Mike is having doubts or that now he's hopeful Will feels the same, he starts to second guess himself.

And this then leads to part ?/? of Mike stalling (2 scenes before this, Yuri gets called out for being a coward because of his stalling, all while he hides the truth about the stalling in his coat chest pocket...). Mike is yet again stalling because he can't find it in himself to be honest and tell El he doesn't love her and play along and lie for any longer, and yet he also can't tell the truth because that also terrifies him (which is that he knows he doesn't love El because he has those feelings for Will...)

He stalls until it's not an option anymore, regardless of how he feels about the whole situation. And Will is pushing him and telling him to do it and Mike looks heartbroken. I think in this moment he is feeling doubts about Will's feelings, but also I think he is mostly convinced both El and Will want to be with him, so he is having to choose in this moment to be selfless like Will in order to save El's life, putting what he perceives to be her happiness, above his own (a vicious cycle we have going on here).

Now, a large part of why I subscribe to this, is because of a lot of details that fit, but I have also touched on this next detail here. Basically, I think Mike went from thinking the painting was from Will initially, to thinking it was from El by the end of the season.

I think the scene at the hospital is when this major shift happens. When Lucas says that El saving Max was a miracle, I think this is when Mike starts to now believe that El does love him, and that apparently his words did work, and so therefore the painting had to commissioned by her, right? The scene starts with the painting in the background behind Will, but directly after the miracle drop, Mike quickly shares a look with him, only to slowly, nervously look over at El, confused and then almost sad, with the painting now in the background behind her.

And so now the question becomes, does Mike want to keep up this act (unconvincingly) with El? Or does he want to follow his heart?

You could say that the ending of s4 answers that question...

I think that this means that starting in s5, Mike will definitely still have mixed feelings and emotions about the painting, along with his perception of El and Will's feelings for him.

I think that it makes sense that he would be upset if he's being sort of whipped back and forth about the truth. Lying was like a big deal in s4 with him and El (along with the whole series in general), but I think it's going to be a lot more impactful and intense seeing that confrontation happening with Will and Mike. Not because Mike is going to hate him or be mean over it, but just sort of be more upset than anything else.

Is Mike maybe thinking that this could be a testament to the state of their relationship? That apparently Will's gotten to the point where he lies about something like this? It's going to be a lot to process seeing as he ended s4, for the first time, making an active choice to choose for himself instead of basing that choice on other peoples emotions.

Because apparently that is what happened isn't it? He literally ended s4 thinking the painting was commissioned by El and yet he still chose Will, also while now probably assuming he was wrong about Will's feelings and he doesn't actually feel the same.

Let that sink in.

Mike made that choice for the first time based on his own emotions and not others, even all while assuming it was going to be doomed...

I'm sort of proud honestly, because that's not an easy thing to do.

Being true to yourself and risking hurting and losing others is a scary thing. And it's also why they've got themselves in this situation in the first place, because all of them are sacrificing their own truth, under the assumption that this is what everyone wants.

It's tragically epic.

#byler #ask #the duality of mike wheeler in the van scene #i'm on the fence still #like i am even willing to subscribe to the theory that mike thinks will is in love with el #that was like something i refused to consider for a while #BUT it would be funny to think about how Mike wouldn't judge will for falling in love with his sister technically #bc like been there done that lmaoooooooo like he would just be able to relate if anything??#also it would make sense if will had feelings for el #he wouldn't have let el see the painting #so that would mean el assuming it was for a girl he liked bc he was shy about #only for that to be the case bc it was literally for her?#but then maybe it was also a commission bc will is in love with el and is using his friendship with mike to make el happy even without him #like it would be sooooooo hilarious if mike misinterpreted will and el #watch in s5 el asks to be alone with will before she asks to be alone with mike and mike is just fucking panicking like ITS HAPPENING #i could see it ! lolol #But honestly i am more so in the boat that mike is just very misinformed rn after being flip flopped from partial truths to lies #still #he made an active choice by the end of the season based on his feelings #which is saying a lot #i do think dude has a letter somewhere also #letter to willy is real to me #there's too many joking hints at it in the literal show #the mailmain being the best one #followed by the junkyward scene #and then the yuri scene #and then there's probably others it never ends honestly #also the dear will love mike implications??#considering how easy it would be to do that and explain everything so swiftly with one simple word mike kept to himself #AHHHH

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blackwaxidol · 3 months

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mother asks her physiotherapist friend for an opinion on my knees, describes the nature of the injuries the lack of precedence et cetera, is told it seems systemic and that i should seek a doctor, then a blood test and then a rheumatologist. everyone has to have an opinion on everything, i want to be left alone in a comfortable hole.

#atrocious mood.#i get asked if i am feeling okay i respond ''i am fine''.#she says ''hm.. doubt.''#of course we both know i am lying but what is she going to do about it? waterboard a truth out of me?#i don't know what is wrong with me this week. or ''these weeks''. i don't know how long it has been.#it's not a very cute or interesting kind of depression.#it is the one where i become a hostile animal.#everything irritates me.#i am not stupid i can see it is against my own interests to resist this help i am just not in a mood to conceive of it.#i don't actually 'want' to be left alone loneliness more than anything in the world drives me insane.#i feel like a rabid animal transitioning from furious to dumb rabies.#from biting at the bars of my cage and shrieking when stimulated to simply rubbing my gums against it as my eyes roll back.#i am already at the latter point i exist in it often.#my emotions are dulled and i have energy for nothing.#delete later.

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brad-bakshi-loves-bugs · 2 years

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people say the home is where the heart is. brad knows it's bullshit, though.

home is where you feel safe.

and the only place brad can feel truly safe is his car. whether it's his old beat up silver 2006 toyota corolla or his shiny new white 2020 audi rs 3, he spends more time in his car than his apartment.

well, when he's not sick, at least.

brad bought his corolla new back in 2006. it was his first car, and he still affectionately refers to it as "ol reliable" even though it's pushing 410k miles. the car's nearly undrivable now - there's something wrong with the transmission and the car rattles suspiciously when he drives faster than 60mph in it, but he keeps it anyway because it's the only non-living thing he's ever been attached to. that old car got him away from his father and zack, after all. he saved for years to buy it.

because the thing is - cars are safe. which is ironic, because people die in their cars far more than they die in their homes. but they aren't murdered in their cars. well, not frequently, at least. brad knows that zack knows his address. no matter how often brad moves, zack has always known his new address in a matter of weeks. brad's given up on constantly uprooting his life to hide from the inevitable.

but there isn't a paper trail to follow when brad is in his car. he can drive as long and as far as he wants, and no one can follow him or stop him. that was part of his reason for getting his current car - he knows zack can't afford a faster car than he has, so theres zero chance of zack stalking and hurting him when he's driving. not to mention the fact that brad doesnt have any neighbors when he's driving around, so he can blast his music as loud as he wants and scream when he's pissed off and no one will ever hear or know. it's a great release.

brad isnt a car guy. he's only owned two cars throughout his entire life. but he would rather die than be carless. thats another reason he kept his corolla when he got his audi - one day, his audi may be in need of repair or something that requires it to be taken into a shop, and brad doesnt feel comfortable without an escape plan. better safe than sorry, after all.

#mythic quest #brad bakshi #headcanon #tay rambles #we are fleeting we are feeling #wafwaf #im not writing all of this into wafwaf it's just something that Exists in that universe as the truth #idk we'll probably see brad driving around aimlessly in later chapters once david stops being a helicopter parent #im currently 3 hours into a 10 hour roadtrip back home from vacation so thats why im writing this #also its something I relate to personally because I drive my shitty ass 2009 toyota camry hybrid for 50-100 miles a night #when it's working that is #I literally go out at 2am and drive around for 2 hours blasting my music and taking the winding backroads driving twice the speed limit #WHEN IT'S SAFE TO DO SO TO CLARIFY #but like I fucking LOVE driving it's so relaxing #and I have really bad monophobia but it doesnt apply when im in the car #so I don't feel safe being home alone which sucks because im way too introverted to be surrounded by people 24/7 #but in the car? I can be alone forever and not be scared #me in my fully locked and secured house: but what if someone breaks in and kills me #me in my 2 ton death machine that's barely functional: this is my emotional support car and where I feel safest #so yeah thats brad too he just doesn't have the monophobia aspect and instead has very good reasons for being scared of his home #im just a big baby

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franeridan · 6 months

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rereading wholecake really is making me wish we'll get to see sanji at least once seriously in love with someone, he's so fucking weird tbh. he'll be infatuated to the point of incapacitation for the first ten minutes of constant exposure to a pretty girl and then he'll mostly start acting normally once he's gotten used to her presence, but then what does actual love look like on him? reading this arc makes me so curious

#pudding falling for him went hand in hand with him becoming sanji-normal about her #she's one of the very few sanji ships i like but truth be told he doesn't act too differently with her and say nami or robin #he's just sanji #i think the closest thing to actual love you see on him is what he feels for luffy in the sense that that's the devotion he's usually #lacking with girls #but then i think someone like sanji would be so singlemindedly devoted to the person he's in love with it'd be way more than what he #feels for his captain #and considering we're talking about sanji the whole being incapacitated by his feelings alone would also keep on happening #but would love make him faithful I wonder #it's so weird he's so weird #odas no good at writing romances and he said so himself but if you think about the people you know are in love in op #they're all so singlemindedly focused on their love they're ready to betray anything and everyone for it #not necessarily in a bad way but take hancock ie #aside from the whole thing with the marines she went against decades of tradition to let luffy on kuja island #she's put her crew and hometown in danger for him without a second thought #and they're all strong and they all like luffy but would she really have cared either way?#all big mom's daughters married to someone are devoted to their husbands more than their family too #baby5 is a particular case but she too betrayed dof for sai on a whim #bege spent the whole post tea party talking about escaping but he went back immediately for chiffon #i mean to say that if oda ever wrote sanji really in love given the other romantic relationships he's written #AND how extreme sanji already is about love #i don't think he'd half-ass it? but then again all mugiwara put the crew above everything and everyone else #it's so interesting to me seriously #how would sanji deal with it? how would he act? what would his priorities be?#everything about that scenario is a question mark to me i want to know so bad

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outlying-hyppocrate · 6 months

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positively despising how my consistent personality is leaving me and how i resort to such strange lies

#random thoughts #i write this on the cold tile floor of a place that has yet to hear my wailing screams. this is a lie. i am in bed #if my writing were anywhere near kafkaesque i don't think i'd be doing very well. but how i do admire his work #i read quite a bit. my bookshelves one day shall be piled with the works of authors such as anne rice. oscar wilde (and franz kafka himself #though this is the 21st century. what of modern fiction ? what of modern nonfiction ? i've made myself into someone #whose vocabulary is strangely extensive. we could argue that i've been this person all along #a sort of “gifted child” perhaps. except. i don't fucking use words like perhaps #as. not as. because this is a mockery of the self #how to put it less concisely ? i sound so old. “so mature for [my] age.”#i'm a very strange sort of person and when i stand alone in the water my screaming takes the form of beautiful song. but #how i long to stop the sound and choke it out into something strangled with my very own fingers. my essence is poetry #and therefore all that i am is poetry. i am so beautiful #my face and my body and everything we are made of #to spill the essence of poetry in the form of something more human. blood or spit or tears or vomit #i am so very interested in human function. what am i saying i'm being strange on purpose? but i like being strange #and this is how you see me now. my eccentric persona(lity) does not make me special at all. i'm not doing very well #i never am to tell the truth. it is getting so hard to prove my humanity and i'm starting to feel rather artificial #i have nothing to show proof of humanity such as blood or spit or tears or vomit #but then again i am simply being dramatic. i'm just being dramatic. that's it #i am just a boy and just a puppet and just how i present to others #i am pleasant. i am charming. i am robotic. i am awkward. i am cultured. i am weird. i am almost a person #my fingers are so thin. i've always been inhuman. they have their blood and spit and tears and vomit #and i have nothing but i think i like those words quite a bit. and i am watching the numbers raise higher. notifications. pretty things #i'm sorry i'm acting like this. acting. acting. actingactingactingidon't know what's brought it on #i speak so strangely. maybe i should try something else. i shall go to sleep and pretend that nothing happened. which it did. let me #bstvlpeooiamotridst . you have the words. i've been purposely alternating every three tags to write blood and spit and tears and vomit #i like patterns very much what else can i say. patterns are. pretty. though pretty isn't a word that fits into my extensive vocabulary #it should be buried at the bottom rather. what's a nicer way. i'm not actually sure #if you've made it this far please kindly say hello. otherwise that's alright #we've arrived to form our pattern again and i don't actually feel very much. bloodspit tearsvomit

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lavendorii · 7 months

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thinking about sunny emotional support dog again today

#i kept myself up at night thinking about her #probably a moderately big kind of fluffy black lab #very playful and energetic to get sunny out of the house but also very loving and cuddly to help him not feel alone #i think having that constant comforting presence and protection would help a lot with his paranoia and hallucinations #(speaking from experience #i call her Abby to call back to abbi and also personal reasons lololol #shed probably sleep with him in bed and go with him everywhere with a harness #just a good influence for him and a comforting presence #he would feed her at the same time he needed to eat to make sure that he was eating well #i also think he would take a while to tell his mom the truth #i can see him wanting to wait until he moves out for her to find out since he's scared and the situation is different than with his friends #i mean his dad left when he found out and while i think his mom would still love him (i dont want to lose another kid) i can imagine his #anxieties about it #so having abby there would give him a very stable and comforting relationship seeing as his friends live in a different town #txt #anyway

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essektheylyss · 2 years

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some weeks ago you posted about watching annihilation and i had the book on my list at the time but at that point i’d only seen the film and i dont think i replied anything but in my head i got super defensive. anyway i started reading the book(s) (i’m on authority now) and rewatched the film today. i get it now. i get it. i still thought the film was beautiful and i did really love the second half but the first half all i could think was this is wrong this isnt how it goes. (even though there’s obviously nuance in this, it’s a different medium and a whole different storyteller, obviously it wouldnt be the same thing twice, still i find it hard to not be frustrated.)

this is super interesting to me to know because I was wondering how someone would feel if they read the book after seeing (and enjoying) the film! I do agree the second half is way stronger than the first—and really, if they'd cut a lot of the exposition and started from the time they got to the Shimmer, I think I'd find the whole film a LOT stronger in general.

(and also maybe..... just cut the name Shimmer. oh my god. I'm never going to accept that one. it just reminds me of Hunger Games District One/Capital names, which is just... augh. and thinking about it now, I wonder if "Area X" felt Too Played Straight for an alien film, and Garland was trying to disguise that, I think because he has to be ~subversive~ or he'll die, but like... oh my god. THE SHIMMER? bro.)

anyway haha, there is nuance for sure! I will offer the disclaimer that I definitely was far less of a fan of Ex Machina than... most people, honestly. I think Garland and I have very different worldviews and artistic approaches, so I just don't vibe very well with what he's trying to say (in either film, really!), though from what I know of Vandermeer's feelings on the adaptation (and just based on the book), I think he falls farther toward my camp than Garland's. my guess it's that there are simply some fundamental aspects of how the book is set up that clash on a really foundational level with what Garland was trying to say.

#megs watches annihilation #tagging it so all the annihilation chatter is in the same place haha #do want to specify that I'm using 'worldview' not as like 'personal and cultural experiences' and more as 'philosophical lens'#cuz I think the distinction is important cuz it's less about 'am I from a similar background as x person' (tho that can play into it)#and more about 'what methods of thought have I been exposed to'#I could talk about that distinction alone for ages but I will not lol.#mostly like. I don't think garland deals with uncertainty very well or fundamentally even wants it to abide in his concept of the universe #he wants everything explainable even if it is not fundamentally explained. but I personally feel that annihilation is ABOUT uncertainty #or at least cosmic truths beyond human conceptualization or categorization. which... when put into thematic terms. is uncertainty.#which. once again wondering if garland really thought this was more ambiguously 'aliens' cuz it did not feel ambiguous by the end imo

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c4rdsharp · 1 year

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✿ for ilya ….

FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship / [ your muse ] is the good influence / [ your muse ] is the bad influence / [ my muse ] is the good influence / [ my muse ] is the bad influence / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other .

ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts / [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush / [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush / exes / exes to lovers / forbidden lovers / highschool sweethearts / secret relationship / opposites attract / long distance / unrequited [ from your muses side ] / unrequited [ from my muses side ] / unrequited [ from both sides ] / skinny love / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers / spurious relationship / power couple / newly entered / soulmates [ metaphorical ] / soulmates [ literal ] / awkward / turning toxic / toxic love / cheating [ on your muse ] / cheating [ with your muse ] / other .

FAMILIAL. siblings [ half ] / siblings [ step ] / [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure / [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse / [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours / [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / adoptive child / foster child / [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing / [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing / other .

ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other .

preestablished relations let's go / @prognostik

#( out of character. ) hold my cards i’m projecting #( ask. ) i’m too tired for the truth #( meme. ) preestablished relations #// thanks for the ask!#// <3 #// oH BOY OKAY #// SO THERE'S A NUMBER OF WAYS WHERE THIS COULD BE TAKEN #// since the cromwell institute handles matters of the occult #// i've GOT to imagine the existence of immortals would fall under that #// and it would naturally come about Ilya would catch wind of Luck & his brothers #// so an antagonistic relationship could develop based on professional matters #// because the Cromwell Institute would probably feel like an unnecessary complication to Luck #// in his day to day affairs especially if they're to be kept under surveillance or what have you #// however if given the right circumstances......#// ilya & luck could VERY well develop a decent enough rapport #// i think if Luck ever knew how young Ilya took on the institute he'd develop a GREAT deal of sympathy #// because he himself took on the Gandor family mafia at such a young age #// and he knows from personal experience how much that can fuck you up #// like outside of supernatural matters?#// that alone is hard enough #// i think he'd naturally see a lot of himself in Ilya #// but that ESPECIALLY makes it prevalent #// idk man something about meeting someone who had #// a similar enough experience to Luck growing up just hits man #// i think they deserve THAT level of connecting y'know?

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abandonedandforgottentimes · 2 months

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Many of the younger ccs speaking up about Wilbur's manipulation is INCREDIBLY concerning, and I don't think they'll be the last. I think it's also a big indication that it happened to Tommy too, and that he'll take a while to respond. People demanding an immediate response need to remember that he was likely a victim of it too, he just may not have been aware of it.

I mean, Wilbur's ADMITTED he relied on Tommy for his mental health when he was still a minor. That is NOT something adults should ever do and it has always been odd to me. It also makes it very hard for the minor involved to leave the friendship, since they see themselves as responsible for the older person. I don't think I need to really go into how unhealthy that sort of thing is, it isn't an uncommon occurrence and lot of people will have a better explanation than me. But it is something to keep in mind, that Tommy may feel responsible or have been groomed to excuse the behavior.

The library stream is another example of the manipulation, and I'm surprised no one is talking about it. Tommy literally talked about how uncomfortable he was at Wilbur's house. It was cold, he had no blanket, he didn't want to keep staying there, he would rather be out in public at night in a strange place. Then Wilbur just shows up out of nowhere and tells Tommy he's misremembering/being dramatic and pretty much shuts him up, gets him to stop talking shit about him. Everyone's exasperation with Tommy in the situation (being a minor alone and uncomfortable and uncertain of what to do, far from home with nowhere to go), helped Wilbur pull Tommy back in and convince him to go back to his house, especially since it was passed off as Wilbur being caring.

It was obvious to me during the stream that Tommy was telling the truth and Wilbur was the one lying, but I figured he was just being defensive because he didn't want all that online. Now we know that he had a LOT more to hide about his living situation that he didn't want being spilled, and manipulators/abusers don't tend to like it when someone goes and starts talking about the truth. They want to downplay it as much as possible, and Wilbur showing up in person to shut Tommy up and make fun of him for not wanting to stay with him, make it more lighthearted, is incredibly telling and I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone point that out.

There are so many other things I found odd throughout the years that finally have a proper explanation to them, but that's just a few examples. I'm not going to get too much further into it. Wilbur isn't who we should be focusing on, I just needed to get that out to move on from it.

I do think pointing out that Tommy has openly been manipulated is important because it may cause him to take a while to respond openly to all this while he processes. If Wilbur treated so many of his ex-friends badly it's safe to assume he did it to all of them, and we need to give everyone involved time to stop and think about the situation. A lot of people want Tommy to respond immediately, but he will need time to do that and it's only fair we give him the space to do that properly.

I also think it is so, so incredible that Shelby has given so many people the space and bravery to come forward. I believe there will be more people speaking up soon, they just need time. Support her and other victims!

#saw people on x posting 'fuck Tommy Phil Tubbo Niki etc for not speaking out' within fifteen minutes of the bitchass 'apology'#and then tubbo spoke out like an hour later?? like give them time #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #tw: wilbur soot

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