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absolutebl · 2 years

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Hi,...

[Oh God! I'm good at asking technical stuff. But this question tilts towards the emotional side of knowing more about a relationship dynamics. Hope I make sense.]

Like,...

Usually we see several tropes in a BL series. Like Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lover, Strangers to Lovers, etc,...etc,...

There's also been several BL series were we've seen "Love-At-First-Sight", that happens with either the one who is going to pursue the relationship, OR from both the sides, although only one takes the lead.

Now,...I'm genuinely curious about this one particular trope, which I don't know how to categorize it correctly, although for the purpose of understanding things better, we may say, one of the partner is a "Tsundere".

Let me start with "SOTUS" The Series as an example.

Kong loves Arthit since day one. Well,...Arthit may or may not be in love, but he surely likes Kong, although he's a typical Tsundere, and his ego never allowed him to accept it. Fine! I agree, and understand that sometimes it takes time for some to firstly accept the fact that they have developed feelings for someone, let alone reciprocate that feeling. But for how long???

"Tsundere" as a term sounds can be romanticised in a story,...but in real life, I don't know how far it works. What I mean by that is,...for long and to what extent will only one person continue to put all their efforts in a relationship, while the other one just seem to sit and do nothing? And sometimes I mean absolutely nothing.

Be it a 'Tsundere Uke' or a 'Tsundere Seme',....I'm curious as to how far can one act cold and distant with the one they love just because they happen to be introvert or badly traumatised because of their past?

I'll take another example here,..."Oxygen" The Series had P'Phu and Kao,...where the Uke was clearly madly in love with the Seme,...but P'Phu until the end behaved like a total jerk,...not for once being man enough to reciprocate his feelings the way the other guy deserved. And that really irritated and disappointed me.

I want to understand the basic psychology of a character that behaves cold and distant, especially from the perspective of a Seme,...and how different is it in a homosexual love vs hetrosexual love?

Now,...for Arthit (Uke),...it was very challenging for him to come to terms with his own sexuality because of which he almost rejected Kong. And he needed several assurances from his friends and seniors before he acknowledged the fact that his feelings for a man isn't wrong. And that shit really isn't acceptable to me. For a grown-ass man,...why does he need to seek clarification from everyone to accept his own feelings?

And with P'Phu,...the shit is even bizarre. He knows Kao likes him a lot, because unlike him,...Kao is an open book. Yet,...he doesn't treat Kao right only because Kao happens to be exact opposite of him. And until the end,...Phu expects Kao to wait for him if his love is indeed true, which Kao readily accepts. I mean,...like WTF!

Now,....I'll mention about my most favourite couple FighterxTutor from "Why R U!?". Because although Fighter was head-over-heels for Tutor since the beginning,...it's not until Tutor makes him realize his own feelings, that Fighter finally confesses of like Tutor since day one and being sure of it. I mean,...WHY? Why did Fighter act distant with Tutor to the extent of teasing him all the time, while being sure of the fact that he loves him?

And the same BS happens with another of my favourite couple Phupha and Tian from "ATOTS". I understand that Chief.PhuPha is a very difficult personality to understand. And given the age, social, and perhaps cultural differences between PhuPha and Tian,...it must have been difficult for the Seme to accept his own feelings. But that does not mean he had to be so rude and distant with his own love?

And all these confuses me a lot.

I genuinely want to know,...

Why does it take so much of time for a "Tsundere Seme" to accept his own feelings, despite the fact that his love-interest has got nothing to down with his fear or insecurity?

In real life,...or even in fiction,...if one continues to pursue the "Tsundere" with an expectation that things will eventually turn in their favour, how long is too long?

Why does most of the "Tsundere" characters wait until the point where their lovers decide to leave them for good?

Is it justified on the part of the "Tsundere Seme" to let someone continue pursuing them,..until they overcome their deep-rooted fears, or unwarranted insecurities?

If the "Tsundere Seme" is sure of his own feelings,...what gives him the audacity to play with the feelings of someone that genuinely loves him?

Does the relationship dynamic change if the pursuer of a "Tsundere Seme" happens to be a "Power-Bottom Uke"?

Thanks!

xoxo

Arjuna

You always asks such complicated questions. But this one seems to be coming from a place of pain, who hurt you and do I have to bitch slap someone?

I have to mostly answer this from a narrative perspective because the complexities of a close-off person IRL are going to be entirely case specific. But I can try to explain a little so:

On an entirely personal level, I am the tsundere and always have been in all my relationships, but I am also 90% of the time much less damaged than the charming sunshines I inevitably end up with (and cannot seem to resist). So they are better equipped to answer the "why attracted to tsundere" IRL question. Not me.

Nevertheless, over the years and many MANY relationships, I will say what my lovers tend to like about me is my even keel predictable sternness. (See comments for more/alternate perspectives). IRL a grumpy pessimistic practical and dominant personality like mine is at least not erratic or changeable. Like the tsundere of narratives, we do tend to have cores of softness and once we love we are VERY loyal (so long as it's on our terms and we can control the situation) but unlike the tsundere of narratives we do not change. But we may relax for the right person.

And if I were to give any piece of relationship advice it would be:

please never enter a relationship thinking you can change (heal or save) the person (or persons). You may grow and shift as a couple/group (and most likely mellow) over the years, but even love can't change another person's core personality. That is the single biggest lie romance tells us. Right up there with the idea there there is a "one" out there.

Puts soap box away.

And now, the questions: Tsundere in BL & IRL

1. Why does it take so much of time for a "Tsundere Seme" to accept his own feelings, despite the fact that his love-interest has got nothing to do with his fear or insecurity?

Because the tsundere character fears risk of exposer (of his own feelings) more than anything. It is the act of showing the soft underbelly that the tsundere so jealously guards.

It’s not about admitting he has feelings for the other boy, it is more about admitting he has feelings AT ALL.

A narrative tsundere is a tsundere because he is afraid of being hurt, and that hurt can only come if he opens himself up (to love, to the other person, to being gay, etc...) So he will try to stay closed off as long as possible.

2. In real life,...or even in fiction,...if one continues to pursue the "Tsundere" with an expectation that things will eventually turn in their favour, how long is too long?

Until the tsundere sees you/their romantic partner as safe.

IRL usually for this kind of personality it’s about control and predictability. So they have to know and predict your actions and feelings, to classify you as safe and worthy of trust (AKA admitting to love).

This can come off as manipulative (pressing your buttons with criticism or praise or compliments) or controlling (ordering for you at a restaurant) and then you’ll have to decide, in turn, if that’s safe for you. One of the reasons I got into Ds is because of my need for control, and it codifies my inclinations towards this kind of behavior in a manner that feels safer for all parties.

For a tsundere character everything is about acceptance and trust.

IRL some closed-off lovers will NEVER open up. Even in fiction, I’m thinking about What Did You Eat Yesterday? or the dad in Restart After Come Back Home. These are kind of narratives about the tsundere not changing, but instead about their loved ones realizing that they simply express love differently (or not at all). There are quite a few Japanese dramas that deal with this idea. That you will simply have to live with this kind of personality never telling you they love you, merely showing you, in their very stunted way.

But IRL many a relationship has broken up because the closed-off person just never could get over their own baggage enough to open up and trust. So if you are in a relationship with one of these (or trying for one) you have to know when to cut your losses. You need to decide what you need from them and whether they can actually give that to you (knowing they WILL NOT CHANGE). This is also about protecting yourself and getting out. And timing wise? It’s going to be all about your tolerance levels. But if you’re experiencing any form of abuse or gas lighting, get out now. Also talk to people: friends, other lovers, professionals. If you have a friend of a similar personality type in your life ask them for their thoughts, just don’t fall into the trap of endlessly analyzing the tsundere’s motivation. They’re motivated by fear. You should protect yourself first, there are other fish in the sea. Or sky. (Just not that BL, please.)

Story wise?

The non-tsundere will admit affection/kiss etc. at about 1/2 through the narrative but the tsundere won’t come around until the last 1/4, in KBL usually not until the last ep.

3. Why does most of the "Tsundere" characters wait until the point where their lovers decide to leave them for good?

For dramatic effect.

4. Is it justified on the part of the "Tsundere Seme" to let someone continue pursuing them,..until they overcome their deep-rooted fears, or unwarranted insecurities?

I don’t know. Probubly not? But a narrative tsundere wouldn’t get into ANY kind of BL relationship if the other party didn’t do the pursuing (which is why tsundere is so often the uke character).

So the whole story wouldn’t happen at all. So under the context of narrative... it’s justified (because the narrative has to justify its own existence). However, if you, the watcher, feel manipulated? Then maybe not. Or maybe this just isn’t your archetype. Especially the seme version.

5. If the "Tsundere Seme" is sure of his own feelings,...what gives him the audacity to play with the feelings of someone that genuinely loves him?

I think most of the time he isn’t playing. Or he’s doing the manipulative thing to see if he has the control he needs to open up. Like I said above, it isn’t about love, it’s about trust (with a primary behavior motivation coming from fear). He’s waiting to see if he can TRUST the person, especially if he’s paired with a sunshine or manic pixie dream archetype (the most difficult ones to trust - because charming is very dangerous and reads as suspicious, overly flirty, and disingenuous to tsundere). And trust takes a lot more time than love.

6. Does the relationship dynamic change if the pursuer of a "Tsundere Seme" happens to be a "Power-Bottom Uke"?

Ooo, could we not use that term? I prefer self-actualized or aggressive or autonomous uke.

Yes, the dynamic does change. If the uke is self aware in his pursuit (Nampu in Top Secret or In in UWMA) and more aggressive (less of a good boy like Chon in Tonhon Cholatee) then we, the audience, trust that uke to cut his losses and protect himself in a way we don’t trust the good/sweet boy.

The relationship seems more fair and less abusive if an aggressive uke is in play. In other words, the nice-guy uke can be too much of a doormat with a tsundere seme and that reads very poorly to a modern audience, because we want to protect him (but that’s the seme’s job).

(source)

#bl tropes #bl archetypes #seme/uke #tsundere characters #thai bl #japanese bl #life love on the line #TonhonChonlatee #Until We Meet Again #Top Secret Together

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clouds-and-frogs · 2 years

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I start to think that I have some problems with tsundere characters. I literally adore every single tsundere that I meet when I watch an anime😍💖

Of course if they have red hair is even better😉 (No referece to a short high tempered red hair named Nakahara Chuuya cof...cof...no...no)

#anime #anime characters #tsundere characters #bsd #bsd nakahara chuuya

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beescake · 5 months

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shit. two dudes

#homestuck #sollux captor #karkat vantas #vioart #2023 #solkat #??? pitch ????#<- making excuses to tag 💔#ngl the more ppl say its impossible to woobify them #the more im like. no no listen as an enjoyer i NEED my goofy tsundere baka bl yaoi rare soft and tender #the kind that falls apart in my hands #sighs. the joy of shredding mean scathing characters down into pliant loving mush....

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jade-len · 4 months

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please help i just had a dream where svsss was a dating sim. so, of course i tried pursuing shen qingqiu, but it ultimately backfired because suddenly he realized that he was in a dating visual novel?? and since i put myself as a guy, he just refused to show up to special in game events to avoid me interacting with him???

and obviously i was like "wtf why isn't he here?" when he didn't show up. then at some point i explored the area, and the screen suddenly zoomed in to show sqq talking to sqh (supposedly telling him all about the little situation). next thing i know, both of them are slowly turning their head to stare at the screen in pure and utter terror

also in some part of the dream, i think i did some liu qingge events or something and as his affection levels rose, he would continuously jump scare me by popping up out of nowhere and go, "its not like i like you or anything!!" while covered in blood and holding out a demonic beast head as if it were a box of treats

anyways, totally random question guys haha if i made an svsss visual novel dating sim would you guys play it. no reason in particular at all.

#im actually learning how to code right now #if i hyperfixate enough ill turn this to reality bc im kinda bad at writing fanfiction #no promises though #i prob had this dream bc i stayed up till 5 am last night playing a date with death #idk if dream liu qingge was accurate bc personally i see him more as just being like 'for you.' before leaving #but its a funny thought to have with liu qingge acting like that sporty emotionally constipated tsundere character lmao #anyways dw if i do make the game i would build a chaotic ass harem route jesus fucking christ that'd be hilarious #the scum villain's self saving system #svsss #mxtx svsss #shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #liu qingge #cumplane

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oceanwithouthermoon · 3 months

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i always feel bad when i see how the point of a lot of saiki's personality traits flew right over the heads of a lot of fans due to him being an unreliable narrator and a tsundere lol.. so a lot of things he says are immediately proved to be untrue and often just him putting up a front, but some people dont pick up on it..

like i see a lot of "haha saiki would never want to watch a romance movie" guys there is an entire chapter (170) dedicated to him being like "i much prefer mysteries to romance stories.." and then immediately becoming absolutely enamored with a romance story.. he was lying, guys, LMAO

less specific ones include:

"i hate children, they annoy me" *goes out of his way to help kids, comfort them, be kind to them, etc.*

"i only use my powers for self gain/my own convenience." "anyway my mama told me to never use my powers selfishly so i always use them to help people and i try my best not to use them for personal gain<3"

"those guys are so annoying, i would never hang out with them willingly." "yeah it took them about two sentences to convince me to go with them. their thoughts seemed like they really wanted me to go, so i did. i didnt want them to be upset. not that i care about them or anything."

(sorry i post about this kind of thing a lot, i just giggle a lot at how the entire manga is so easily misinterpreted and thousands of people have watched the show but didnt pick up on the main characters most defining character traits and frequent bits.. i think there needs to be a masterlist or something disproving all the extremely common misconceptions about saiki k lol)

#not hating lmao its just silly #i once saw one of those 'how saiki k characters would drink their coffee' posts and for saiki it said 'black coffee'#and i giggled #what do you mean you think the guy who only smiles during really sweet moments or when hes eating sweets would drink black coffee #thats so out of character but they obvi were just going by personality which u guess is funny #that mf prob would make homemade pumpkin spice lattes drowned in sugar and creamer and whipped cream and sprinkles #hey genuine question to people who watched the anime this way: how was it still funny ?#him being a liar tsundere unreliable narrator is often the MAIN bit.. like in EVERY chapter..#did u only pay attention to the silly mini jokes within the episodes and those were somehow still enough to make you love the show ?#or like.. what was it ??? IDK I GENUINELY DONT GET IT #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #meows post

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ashersanity · 5 months

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- @princesstokyomoon, @bobsquatley :)

Sometimes your caretaker can’t help themselves around you.

YANDERE! BAILEY

asher, we’ve been over this.

content warning! very non-con, mentions of violence, murder, somnophilia, voyeurism spanking, gunplay, choking, bailey is a warning on its own, expect the worst.

pc and bailey are gender neutral as always unless explicitly stated otherwise

“Your body was always mine. Just like your first time.”

yandere type : sadistic, possessive, controlling, overprotective

Yan!Bailey who needs you by their side at all times. Doesn’t matter why, the shitty caretaker is somehow coming up with some sort of sick excuse to have you in their office. Starts off with simple things, gruff voice demanding you to come in here already, needing you to dust the floor, it’s dirty, they claim. No speck of dust in sight, but who are you to deny Bailey? You know what happens when you do. Escalates to having you now on their lap, comfortably seated on their thighs. It’s an order of theirs, they say. Right. Of course it is. if they have a cock, then they’re slipping their length into your hole, cock warming them for the entire day.

Yan!Bailey who gets that weird sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach at the sight of you chatting away, lips curling up into that damn smile of yours, softly laughing along to Robin’s jokes. Y’know like some weird school boy/girl who immediately gets jealous, seeing their crush talking to someone else. Familiar steps drawing closer until they’re looming right over you and the poor orphan, dark look on their face, assigning you both different chores to have you two separated for the day. Brushes it off after like it was nothing, doesn’t know why they got so heated up about it either.

Yan!Bailey who can’t possibly help themselves around you, wooden floor creaking under the weight of their heavy footsteps, slipping into your room at night without that pesky orphan being by your side for once. Well, not like it’s going to stop them from doing what they have to do. Disheveled, unkempt, dark hair that’s usually slicked back, breath reeking of booze as they draw closer to your sleeping form, tall frame towering over yours. Look at you. Blissfully ignorant, unaware of what they’re doing right now, how their tongue slicked with sweat and vodka trails over your pristine, perfect lips, untouched by any of the filthy bastards in this town. You don’t even get to know that your first kiss didn’t go to sweet, old Robin.. Bailey’s own lips pressing against yours instead, tongue slipping past between your teeth.

Yan!Bailey who has several cameras installed in your room, lens catching each and every movements that you make, including the much more.. private ones. Needing to know what you’re up to, what you’re doing, who you bring into your room, entangled bodies softly landing against the cushioned mattress. Forbids you from sneaking anyone into the orphanage after that, claiming it’s for whatever bullshit reason they gave you. Stores in the tape right onto their computer, dim light of the screen reflected in their eyes, fixated on the way you blush and pant, hands slowly circling around your sex. Always comes in handy after a long, stressful day, needing to let off some steam, a low groan reverberating in the office.

Yan!Bailey whose punishments only grow increasingly worse and worse by the day, catching you slacking off during your chores or entering their office a few too many times results in you bent over their lap, begging for mercy. Palm raised, unrelenting in their blows, smacking your bum till it turns red, as red at the blush on your face, squeaking voice and hiccuped sobs echoing through the desolate room. The caretaker who doesn’t stop just as that, needing you to fully regret your actions and repent for them. Finger slipping inside your hole, alternating between thrusting their digit in all the while spanking you. Thrust in, thrust out, spank. Thrust in, thrust out, spank. Makes you messily cum all over yourself like the whore that you are, dangling legs trembling over their lap. Ignore the wet patch that formed on their trouser/skirt once you leave, giving Bailey a last fleeting look over your shoulder.

Yan!Bailey who doesn’t hesitate to put a bullet through the eyes of any motherfucker who even dares to lay their dirty hands on you. Who do they think they are? Messing with their own property? The one in charge of this whole town? In their own presence? Don’t question what happened to that one thug that got a little too bold with you, shamelessly groping at your behind as you walked on, blindfolded and gagged, uselessly drooling away. Thought that would slip past the caretaker’s eyes? Idiot, nothing does. Never with Bailey. And they’re also making it your own problem too, grasping at the back of your head, forcing you down onto your knees once more. Time to apologize in the way you know best, whore.

Yan!Bailey who’s a bit too much into this whole gunplay thing. Cold steel of their gun pressed against your temple, finger hovering over the trigger, barrel loaded in. Servicing them on your knees like the slut that you are, knowing they can blow your brains out at any moment. Fat, wet tears rolling down your cheeks, struggling to swallow them all. Hissing lowly under their breath, taking in the image of your tear-stained face, flushed cheeks and parted lips. So goddamn pretty. Raping you with their shotgun right up your ass, taking in delight in the sounds of your choked up sobs as they slide the length in and out of your poor, abused hole. Presses an uncharacteristically soft and gentle kiss to your forehead to soothe your nerves. How cute.

Yan!Bailey who doesn’t feel a shred of guilt or remorse at having you locked up in the orphanage, forever theirs to stay. Didn’t want to pay up your debt? Fine by them. Now you’re paying the caretaker in a different way, gloved hands firmly gripped around your throat and applying pressure, tugging at the wrists tied behind your back, chest pressed up against the hard surface of their desk. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? Makes sure Robin is there to see by pure “chance”, by accident, walking in on you in this vulnerable state, legs limps from the other’s treatment, utterly helpless. That’s good. Show that orphan who you really belong to now, huh?

Yan!Bailey who’ll track you down no matter where you go, wherever you run off to, to the ends of the earth, dammit. Thought you could get away from them? From Bailey themselves? The one that practically raised you? Fucking arrogant brat, they’re here to put you back into your place once they find you. Taking advantage of the power, ressources and numerous connections that they have in this town, it’s only a matter of time before they find you. Once they do, it’s over. Utterly. Fucking. Over. You’re here to stay with them, chained up to their side, collar tightly locked around your bruised up neck, lettering of their own name visible over your skin. Bailey fucking owns you. And they’ll make sure you have that simple notion ingrained into your stupid little brain. Make ya learn because that’s what you’re good at. Right, brat?

[END OF POST]

Masterlist

#the fact that this isn’t all that different from their canon selves says a lot..#fucking tsundere #I know you care for pc in your own way #a very weird way at that #dol #degrees of lewdity #bailey the caretaker #so this is the first thing I post about them huh..#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #character x reader #asher writes #badly at that

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