#tua tally

[elder-sister]

Intro!!!

Hi person, my name is Elder.

PFP is a Columbo screenshot (from @columboscreens)

I'm a genderfluid pansexual guy (I make a LOTTTTT of... Um. Questionable jokes on here.)

Special Interest: Earthbound! Love it sm... ah

Hyperfixation list: Columbo, Ace Attorney, The Umbrella Academy, aSoUE, TiaET

Favorite bands are Queen, Tally Hall, and Metallica

Asks WILL NEVER CLOSE. SPAM ME!!!

I should probably mention my fucked up body (Celiac's disease, and also generally just being a 13 year old female)

And Autism+ADHD that too.

woohoo do I think I'm awesome.

Friendos!!! - @commandernachos @askjonathancrane @eway @coochie-sniffer3000 and how did I forget @kirbytimelma0

Sideblogs!!! @ask-the-triple-kill-squad @ask-the-attorneys @pearl-pokemon @definitely-supreme-court @earthbound-twitter @elders-archive @tiaet-official

Fandom tags!!! vvv

#earthbound #mother 1 #mother 2 #mother 3 #mother series #earthbound beginnings #tiaet #trapped in an epic tale #pansexual #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #genderqueer #genderfluid #stranger things #ace attorney #Columbo #aSoUE #TUA #The umbrella academy #a series of unfortunate events #Autistic #queen #queen band #freddie mercury #Metallica #Tally Hall

[multifandomsoup]

OBSSESED WITH THE ELEVATOR SCENE IN EP 5

#tua spoilers #tua s3 spoilers #tally rambling #I LOVE KLAUS SM

[buildoblivionthenwewilltalk]

if you could have seen my face when klaus walked on that beach I was fully ready to find blackman and sue him for royalties

#spoilers spoilers spoilers #like idk if any of you read happy medium but like that’s the climax scene for me #so when klaus turned up in heaven I was like YESSSSS #then he walked on the beach and I almost joined him #idk if I’m greatful it was his mum and not Ben #because on one hand I would be insufferable about it #but also I think the sheer vindication might have killed me #part of me wants to go back to my fic and tally up everything I got right 😂😂😂 #i called klaus being a pen Amy wine house nerd in a post s1 au I started does that count 😂😂😂😂😂 #tua #the umbrella academy #season 3 #spoilers

[bonerbiter23]

Cant fuckin stop me (<- has 5 stats assignments left) (<- has 15 journal entries due in 6 days) (<- at the end of her rope) (<- sweating)

#tallis: in manus tuas by peter phillips

[skipping-through-time]

Songs that I want in Umbrella Academy Season 4 (not in any specific order)

(im so sad about TUA ending y'all sdfghjkl)

I Feel Love covered by Sam Smith

Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns and Roses

Bamboleo by Gipsy Kings

Never Meant to Know by Tally Hall

Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage by Fish in a Birdcage

Charlie's Inferno by That Handsome Devil

Puppet Boy by DEVO

Backstabber by Ke$ha

Replay by Lady Gaga

Coraline by Måneskin

Papaoutai by Stromae

Dr. Sunshine is Dead by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

Blister in the Sun covered by Trixie Mattel

Cure for Me by AURORA

Thumbs by Sabrina Carpenter

Unwell by Matchbox Twenty

Hot Mess by Girli

and no matter what, the final song in the show must- of course- be Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants

#y'all will hate me for this but istanbul is so much more iconic than i think we're alone now #the umbrella academy #tua #tua s4

[ultraitme]

#reinessance #Spotify

[meghalayacareer]

BAKDIL Tura Recruitment 2023: DPO, Finance and Accounts Officer , DEO & Office Assistant Vacancy 

BAKDIL Tura Recruitment 2023: BAKDIL has released an employment notification for the recruitment of Intensified Malaria Elimination Project - II (MEP-I), supported by Global Fight Against HIV Aids, Tuberculosis and Malaria (GFATM) through the National Centre for Vector Borne Disease Control Program (NCVBDC), MoHFW, Gol in South Garo Hills District on a contractual basis. The last date for submission of the application is 17th May 2023. 1. District Project Officer (DPO) - No of posts:- 2 (Two) - Place of posting:- Baphmara, Dist South Garo Hills, Meghalaya - Age limit:- Not specified. - Desired Qualification & Experience:- MSW, MSc & Public Health with 3 years of experience - Additional Qualification: Computer Experience with a compulsory one-year diploma course (MS Office). - Monthly Remuneration:– Salaries will be per budget Allocation based on project guidelines approved by NCVBDC 2. Finance and Accounts Officer - No of posts:- 1 (One) - Place of posting:- Baphmara, Dist South Garo Hills, Meghalaya - Age limit:- Not specified. - Desired Qualification & Experience:- MCom + Tally erp9 - Additional Qualification: Computer Experience with a compulsory one-year diploma course (MS Office). - Monthly Remuneration:– Salaries will be per budget Allocation based on project guidelines approved by NCVBDC 3. Data Entry Operator (DEO) - No of posts:- 2 (Two) - Place of posting:- Baphmara, Dist South Garo Hills, Meghalaya - Age limit:- Not specified. - Desired Qualification & Experience:- Graduate with a minimum of 2 years of work experience - Additional Qualification: Computer Experience with a compulsory one-year diploma course (MS Office). - Monthly Remuneration:– Salaries will be per budget Allocation based on project guidelines approved by NCVBDC 4. Office Assistant - No of posts:- 1 (One) - Place of posting:- Baphmara, Dist South Garo Hills, Meghalaya - Age limit:- Not specified. - Desired Qualification & Experience:- Graduate with experience in dating and +work experience - Additional Qualification: Computer Experience with a compulsory one-year diploma course (MS Office). - Monthly Remuneration:– Salaries will be per budget Allocation based on project guidelines approved by NCVBDC How to apply for BAKDIL BAKDIL Tura Recruitment 2023: DPO, Finance and Accounts Officer, DEO & Office Assistant Vacancy The applications will be accepted till 17h May 2023 at the Registered BAKDIL Office, Lower Chandmari, Tua, West Garo Hils, Meghalaya with Standard form complete supporting documents of qualifications and experience. The last date for online/office submission of application is 17th May 2023 up to 5:00 P.M. Selected candidates will be called for an interview after the screening. Candidates must produce the original documents at the time of the interview. About BAKDIL Bakul is a Civil Society Organisation based out of Tura working towards the holistic development of farmers and tribals in Garo Hills, Meghalaya. Address Tura Office Bakdil office, Lower Chandmari, Tura, West Garo Hills, Meghalaya, 794001 Those who wish to apply are advised to go through the below official notification in detail before submitting applications. Download Official Advisement Click Here Job Updates on Facebook Click Here Read the full article

[ame-in-the-rain]

#guy who sees ghosts vs. twelve year old #hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby #the roe blorbo polls

[fthnfrouz]

Kalau borak dengan opah takpernah lah kurang sejam😆 astu i cerita dekat opah pasal yang i nampak tu. Lepastu opah cakap oh ni memang betul orang cakap nampak bumbung pun jadilah hahahha opah ni! Astu dia tanya ti yakin ke kebetulan selisih? HHAHAHAHA Dia explain apa semua cakap yelah dia mungkin nak call tapi dia tak berani lagi. Opah tanya i, ti taknak dah ke dekat dia. I cakap taknak sebab bagi i dia nak datang discuss ke apa ke, i know he will come correct. Sebab i also badly influence him with my burdens and all. So kalau i still sense we easily trigger each other, then no. Opah cakap dia yakin yang that guy still sayang i and ti tengok nanti satu hari nanti dia akan beranikan diri nak contact ti. Ah opah i ni mulut tu jangan masin sangat pls 🥲 Tapi opah dah 3 minggu lepas ni so dah tak kot haha!

Sebab dia cakap kan dia taknak cari yang lain dah, ti yang last, opah cakap centu. Dalam hati i cakap, yelah opah, cakap memang senang. Tapi nak buat cane kan dah tak sehaluan. Words kena tally dengan action. Taknak orang lain pun, dah tak sehaluan dia kena juga cari orang lain ye tak hahahahahahah. I changed juga dulu tapi i macam tak sayang diri sendiri waktu tu. I yang salah sebab selalu nak ikut waktu dia sampai tak respect my own time. Mcm opah i cakap, first relationship kan centulah hahah hm. Wtv it is kenangan yang manis tu simpanlah sebagai memori, opah i cakap. Opah and atuk doakan yang terbaik. Dia cakap kalau ada jodoh, dia baik, boleh bimbing ti, adalah. Takdepun jadikan pengalaman dan pedoman. Acece opah i

Opah i ni kan, dulu dia yang cam strict dengan this guy tau cam feeling sus towards him. Tapi sekarang opah side to him pulak HAHAHAHAHA yelah orang tua lagi makan garam kan dia tahulah perangai kita sebab dia pernah muda kan. I cakap kat opah yang ti doa baik-baik je untuk dia. Kita taktahu apa dia rasa, masalah apa waktu tu kan. Ti pun ada side takbaik ti so ti berlapang dada gitulah hahahaha. To make peace with myself is to realize that i deff was toxic and bad! That’s why i take the step back so that i don’t badly influence him juga so yeah! Be safe and make peace with urself old flame!

Idk tapi instinct and hati i kata he’s healing. And that’s good bro! Do that! For yourself! I pray you find the right circle yang tak take advantage of you anymore okie! I always dua for you sebab i know people need unspoken prayers kan. Kawan yang sama-sama nak capai impian and berubah ke jalan tuhan! Go go! Fight for the right people! That’s what you should do!

Alsoo nak cakap yang i takkan gerak dah! I dah penat jadi initiator. Istilah perigi cari timba tu i takkan apply dah. Just gonna sit in my feminine energy in which i dah lama sangat abaikan sebab i terlalu independent, chill and let my future fateful masculine guide and provide for us towards jannah and be with the people that i connect with yepyep!

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

And the winner is...

None other than the Walmart of Batman...

The Stabby Momma's boi we can't get enough of...

The KING of Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass

Our Beloved

DIEGO HARGREEVES

This man did not come to play, he came to WIN.

WIN. YOUR. HEART.

Prepare to be swept off your feet. [Who the hell am i kidding, yall sweep him off his feet] Prepare to gain a teammate that will ALWAYS have your back.

Again. Think Mileven type vibes.

He knows you can very well take care of yourself [wait till yall see your powers] but that does not mean he will not be looking out for you, being a wee bit protective cause. TEAM. ZERO. Y'all are gonna support each other, love each other and just be adorable attention starved babies together 🥺🤧

I cannot wait for this rewrite and absolutely, by all means, please hit me up if you guys want to be added to the taglist.

Love you guys and can't wait to see you at the Stolen Umbrella!

💕💕💕 - Yurtle

#tua tally #tua rewrite #tua x reader #tsu ☂️ #🗡 diego #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves #the stolen umbrella

[disco-tea]

Casual touch tally: Season 1

So idk where we got the idea that Five doesn’t like physical contact and always has a negative reaction, so I’ve decided to do a tally of all the casual/gentle/non-violent touches he accepts or gives throughout season 1. (I wlll not be counting the Handler because I think it’s usually with malicious intent or for manipulation, so therefore I wouldn’t really consider it casual.) So basically, any touch that is not for violence or out of absolute necessity. 

1x01:

Young Five stands shoulder to shoulder with Klaus and Ben outside the bank and lets Klaus lean on him.

Five allows Vanya to clean the cut on his arm and touch his hand.

1x02:

Five catches Luther’s arm when he tries to touch him and look at his injury. But I just want to point out that this is after a pretty bad fight that left him shaken and vulnerable. Then the scene immediately launches into a traumatic flashback.

1x04:

Drunk Five allows Luther to carry him all the way to Diego’s place and passes out/falls asleep like that.

1x05:

Five lets his arm rest against Luther’s as they wait in the car for Hazel and Cha Cha

1x06:

Five crashes onto the bar/table and lets Luther and Allison help him off without any protest or negative reaction.

1x07:

I think? Five briefly touches Diego’s arm here as they’re on their way out to go find Harold Jenkins.

Five stands shoulder to shoulder with Diego in the attic because what is personal space. 🤣

Five doesn’t really have much of a choice at this point, but he allows Allison and Diego to check on him and touch his face and look at his wound after he collapses. He also allows them to carry him even after regaining consciousness.

He is unconscious again when we see him next, but presumably he allowed himself to be carried again because Diego and Allison set him on the couch, but next time we see him he’s in his room and also allowed Grace to tend to his wound.

1x08:

Five stands/walks shoulder to shoulder with Klaus as they come out of Klaus’ room. Again, Hargreeves dont really care about personal space lol

Five let’s Klaus touch his arm and help him out the door as they leave the bar Luther was at.

Luther taps Five’s shoulder when he leans into the front seat of the car to ask Five if he can speed up. Granted, Five threatens to burn him with the cigarette lighter, but that’s about annoying him, not about the touch.

1x09:

Five again brushes shoulders with Klaus while they’re talking to Diego after concluding that they can’t find Vanya. I know it’s small, but I think it demonstrates he doesn’t really have a problem with personal space.

Five let’s Hazel tap him on the shoulder as he moves to sit down with him at the bar.

Five pats the department store employee on the arm as he walks by.

1x10:

It’s hard to tell but when everyone rushes to Vanya after she collapses onstage, it looks like Five reaches out and touches her.

I don’t know if this really counts because it’s necessary, but Five holds Allison and Diego’s hands while they time travel.

Conclusion: Five only refused touch when he was feeling vulnerable, which is something others in the show do as well. Diego even refused Grace’s touch when he was getting the tattoo in 1x01.

This is just season 1, I’m pretty confident there’s quite a bit more in season 2 so I’ll be doing a follow-up post at some point.

#five hargreeves #he likes hugs fite me #he deserves hugs and probably won’t have a negative reaction #GIVE! HIM! LOVE! #umbrella academy #tua background details #casual touch tally #tua season 1

[elder-sister]

Songs I'm considering putting into MM after finishing TUA

Don't stop me now - Queen

As the World Caves In - Matt Maltese

Feel good inc. - Gorillaz

& - Tally Hall

Call Me - Blondie

Perfect Nothing - Ghost and Pals

Pretty fly for a white guy - The Offspring

Cake by the Ocean - DNCE

Suggestions greatly appreciated!!!

#mother mayhem #earthbound #mother series #mother 1 #mother 2 #mother 3 #earthbound beginnings #TUA #The umbrella academy #Gerard Way #< idk if I tag these people but they watched the umbrella academy way before I did and might know things I don't. Idk

[multifandomsoup]

Well i am tooootally not obssesed with tua haha

#/s #gee man im obssesed with tua #tally rambling

[bisexual-ashe]

no one:

me, thinking about how fives 13 year old body means he no longer bares the scars of his past and probably just pretends they never happened:

#I have lots of sad thoughts about five #like #he tried to kill himself multiple times #Most attempts he never went through with #But some he did partially #and he bore the scars from them #his body was a tally of days he spent there #and now all of that is just gone #would this bother him #that there's nothing to show? #or would he be GLAD there's nothing to show? #I have a lot of thoughts #tua five #five hargreeves #number five #sad hours

[therulerofeverything69]

aU TimE

Umbrella Academy + Tally Hall

Bora has Super Strength

Rob has Trajectory Manipulation

Joe has Mind Control

Andrew can talk to the dead

Ross can teleport and time travel

Zubin is dead and has whatever the fuck Ben’s powers is(I can’t explain it I’m sorry Ben)

Casey has Sono Telekinesis

#the umbrella academy au #tally hall au #the umbrella academy #tua luther #tua diego #tua allison #tua klaus #tua five #tua ben #tua vanya #Joe Hawley #rob cantor #andrew horowitz #zubin sedghi #bora karaca #ross federman #casey shea #Steve has Lila’s powers #Steve Gallagher #hehe Aidan Gallagher and Steve Gallagher #im funny #not #i’m probably gonna give them more powers on top of the one’s they have bc why not? #forgot to tag the band my dumbass #tally hall

[ofmythsandmadness]

laughing like there’s any good reason to smile.

SUMMARY: diego did not think he’d be spending his night driving home a drunk weirdo like he ran a taxi company. and he really should have just not answered the phone, or said he was busy....but he was already out, he might as well do one more good deed for a NOT-friend who will not stop laughing.

WARNINGS: some language (not much, but i do like the word pisspot), romantic ideations, mentions of being drunk/alcohol. a little bit of oblivious mutual pining, too.

WORD COUNT: 3737 Diego Hargreeves x female insert.

A/N: I...I don’t know how I just wrote this. I legit just sat down and wanted to write a small drabble, and so I started this...and an hour later, after writing without stop I have this. It’s not edited, I have barely read through it at all. But it’s cute and messy and honestly, I don’t know what it is but I really like it. Which is surprising because I rarely enjoy a single word that leaves my mind and sticks on a page but I like this. it’s cute.

There are no TUA S2 spoilers in this, it takes place in a vague pre-s1, au bullshit that I like to base most of my work in (mostly because I’m quite lazy). 

“HEY...YOU’RE NOT LIKE...BUSY, ARE YOU?”

Of all the ways to start a phone call, that might be the worst.

Diego drove probably too quickly down the quiet streets, one hand off the wheel, fidgeting in his lap. It was too late to be out like this, out and about like any other schmuck with no life to care about, and yet there he was.

Like any other schmuck.

“I know you’re probably too-tally busy...you know...stopping crime - I whispered so nobody knows, don’t worry…”

The phone call might as well had been with the entire bar, for all Diego knew because of how loud the voice on the other end was. Loud, raspy and dipping in and out of strength. There was a slur to every other word, and long pauses that almost made him think she had hung up. Every single time, until he just got used to saying ‘you there’, waiting for the sentence to end.

“See...awwww, I fucked up. I did, I really….rea-aally did.”

He laughed at that. Couldn’t help it. Despite how hard he had tried to compose himself, be angry (because he really was, he had things to do, dammit!) he had to chuckle there. Imagining the scene on the other end; standing there, leaning up against the wall, too drunk to even stand but too wired to take a seat. He wasn’t sure how much had been drunk, but it would have had to be a lot. Of all the calls Diego got, so rarely was it of that sort.

And never from normally well-composed, generally serious people he mostly considered assholes that did everything in their power to piss him off every single day of his miserable existence.

“But I need a favour...dearest, darling Diego…”

He pulled the car up, hitting the brakes but leaving it running. Absent-mindedly, he contemplated the risk of that - money was tight, he had to be careful about everything - but shrugged it off and stepped out. He wouldn’t be that long, anyways.

The culprit stood, or slouched, outside of the shitty dive bar he had been called from. Diego took note of the disheveled clothes and especially, the state of appearance - he had become so used to one certain way, he had no clue that a person like Y/N could ever, ever, look so bad in their life.

In the back of his mind, he mused that even despite the messy clothes (and mismatched, really atrocious look if he had to call it anything) and hair, someone like Y/N could never look bad.

He tried not to acknowledge that thought.

“Hey, asshole.”

“Hey!” Y/N cried, as though she had not seen him pull up. Though, maybe she hadn’t - which would suck. Diego didn’t really want to deal with someone that drunk that night. “Hey-y, Diego!”

He rolled his eyes. “You look a mess.”

“And you look ab-so-lute-ly adorable,” she slurred. She leant off the wall and promptly fell on her face.

Or, she would have, had Diego not moved in and grabbed her waist, yanking her back up to him. Which turned out to be a stupid mistake on his end, because then she was just right there, in his arms, staring up at him and barely standing up. Her breath smelled like bad whiskey and her eyes rang red, less-so from the drinking and moreso, he assumed, from whatever drove her out here in the first place.

But all that hardly crossed his mind as they stood so entwined in front of the shitty bar in the middle of the open street.

“Well, well,” she cooed, allowing her grip to relax on his biceps. “This...is...this is ni-ice.”

“Nope. Nope, not doing this.”

He said that more to himself.

“C’mon,” he groaned, switching his grip so she stood beside him and not so close to his face. “Let’s get you out of here.”

She sighed but followed suit, though he felt more like he was dragging her than walking alongside her. Her head nestled against his arm, hair tickling against the skin as the wind wafted through the night air.

It was the closest the two had ever been. And more than closest then Diego had ever thought them getting.

He was not sure how to feel about that.

“My knight in black leather,” she sighed beside him, clinging tighter. “You’re a diamond in the dirt, you know?”

“Don’t think that’s the saying.”

“Mm...no. But you’re always...covered in dirt, you know?”

He grumbled something non-sequential under his breath. “C’mon. Sit down, si’down.”

Begrudgingly she obliged, though she struggled throughout the entire thing. It felt more like he was dealing with a criminal from way-back-when then a...well, a Y/N. Whoever she was.

“Does your car have seatbelts, dear knight?”

“Does my-” Diego cursed and slid the seatbelt into her fingers, practically guiding them down. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

She tried to gasp but laughed towards the end, so it was more of a huffy giggle than anything. “Why...Diego, is that how you treat a lady?”

“No,” he mumbled, “that’s how I deal with you.” He slammed the door.

Faintly, he made out her yell of ‘pisspot’, and smiled to himself.

He sank into his seat and sighed, pulling out and into the road. Twenty minutes, he mused to himself, just twenty minutes and she’d be gone. If Diego could do anything, he could easily handle a super drunk Y/N in his car, yammering for twenty minutes about nothing at all. 

He just had to focus.

“You kno-ow, you’re a grumpy grump, you kno...w?”

Diego said nothing.

“Do you need help with your seatbelt?”

He ignored her.

“Do you want me to drive?”

He answered that without hesitation: “no.”

She laughed.

He realised, sitting there, that he had never heard her laugh before - not really, unless faked chuckles thrown bitterly his way in one of their many disagreements counted, but he didn’t count them. Surprisingly, she had a nice laugh. Not one of those faux ones that he couldn’t stand, it wasn’t pretty, but it was real and loud and rang through the car like a Whitney Houston note; echoing everywhere.

“So grumpy, grumpy.”

He swallowed back his thoughts and just grimaced. “Shut up.”

Diego wished she would stop laughing.

They drove off and out of the miserable nightlife, with her giggling her ass off and him just trying not to lose his mind. He dared not look at her, though he knew her eyes hadn’t left his face. He wasn’t sure why she looked, and he really didn’t know why he couldn’t even just spare a glance, but he just...something about how human she was, real and raw and laughing in the passenger seat of his car like this was more than just a -

-he growled a curse to himself and turned the corner angrily.

A few moments later she had stopped laughing so much and had stuck with only a few giggles here and there. Y/N had taken up staring out the window, watching the people and houses and cars pass as though they were the most fascinating things in the world.

He looked at her then. Watched as she traced her fingers down the glass, staring with her mouth agape, eyes lidded and sad despite however much booze ran through her right then. She was more than drunk - she was tired. More than that, vulnerable in a way the two of them had never been.

That scared him more than the jokes and the laughter.

“Diego?”

His eyes shot back to the road. “Hm?”

“Why don’t you like me?”

“Hu-what?”

“Why do you hate me so-o much?” she asked again, that time with her voice smaller and a little higher. “I...I’m curious, what about me boils your bones...so.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Yes you do!”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do!” She wagged an accusatory finger towards his face, so close if he turned she’d surely jab his nose. “Yes...yes you do, you little...y’lil...muffin man. You hate my guts, and I think I have the right to know why!”

Diego rolled his eyes. “I’m not doing this.”

“Why? Are you afraid of hurting my feelings, grumpy grump? Cause,” she sang, rolling the syllables like this was a goddamn musical, “I’m afraid they’re already to-oo hurt, for you to do that. You’re in luck, muffin boy!”

“What does - stop calling me dumb shit,” he hissed.

She stuck her tongue out at him and poked his cheek with her hand.

He swatted it away angrily. “Shut up and let me take you home, okay?”

“No!”

“Well - yeah. Shut up.”

“Or what?”

“Or-” Diego didn’t know what to say to that. There was not much he could do, considering the circumstances - throwing her out of a moving car seemed much too cruel of a thought for anyone, especially a drunk Y/N who could barely figure out seatbelts for herself. Same with leaving her, or taking her anywhere else, or threatening a match or any other thing they’d normally do to one another. Not that he’d hurt her, anyways.

Not intentionally at least.

“You better tell me, or I’m….m...out!”

“You’re - out, what?”

Y/N’s hand found the car lock and with a grin, switched it off. “I’ll go right now!”

“You - you can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“You’re - you’re strapped into the damn car, you’re just gonna get hurt.”

“Why would you care?”

“I don’t!”

“So you do hate me?”

“No! I - jeez, Y/N!” Diego slammed his hands down on the wheel, spitting out curses he didn’t bother to hide. “Do NOT open the car door, okay? Don’t do that! Just sit down, and let me take you home!”

Somehow his speech worked. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. Instead, she sank back into her seat. Her hands returned to her lap.

“Great. Thank you, so much. Amazing.”

She didn’t say a word.

He spared a glance her way, only to see her gaze had turned to the road. “Y/N? You good?”

Nothing.

“Y/N?”

Nothing.

“Oh, c’mon, I-” he sighed and slapped the steering wheel again. He hated how his heartstrings pulled at the silence, at how her words had stung - stupidly, irrevocably, no matter what he told himself, it hurt to think she truly thought he hated her. Cause stupid, irrevocably, somehow -

“-I don’t hate you, Y/N, at all. I just - don’t get mad at me, okay? I mean I’m taking you home, I would take you home if I hated your ass, right? I mean - what do you want from me here!?”

Diego took another glance, worried when she still said nothing, and promptly grew a thousand times more worried when he saw her shoulders heave and shake. Without even thinking, he swerved to the side of the road and braked hard before reaching out to her. “Y/N?”

And then she turned, and he saw instead of tears, it was laughter slipping from her lips, rolling out like great ripples of waves, silent and shaking through her body. Her eyes were tearing up, but not from sadness, instead the drunken giddiness she found herself lost within. But they were alight, and warm, and tipsy on the power that must have fuelled her fit of laughter in the first place.

 With a scowl, Diego sat back. “You’re such an asshole.”

“Wait, no! I - I just-” she heaved, and let out another peal of laughter - that time loud and echoing through the tiny car again. “Don’t be ma-aad at me!”

“I wish I hadn’t come, you know that? I should’a left you there, you...you asshole.” Despite himself, Diego felt himself grow flushed and embarrassed, struggling to even play this all off as anger. “You are the worst.”

She kept laughing. “I know you don’t mean that now, though! Ha - ha - you like me, darling, admit it!”

“Screw off.”

“You li-i-i-ke me!”

“Nope.”

“C’mon, you can’t lie to lil’ ol’ me, muffin man!”

“Don’t call me - stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Doing that!”

“Doing wha-at?”

“That! All’a that!”

Y/N’s lips pouted down, though he knew for a fact she wasn’t really upset. “So rude. One might even think you mean it.”

Diego started the car back up again, grumbling all the way through it. He shrugged off her touch. “I do mean that.”

“You know, I think I finally understand you.”

This car ride was beginning to feel like forever. It had only been maybe ten minutes of driving, and yet he felt like he had been trapped in some special sort of hell for a horrific eternity of embarrassment and...her.

“I get you, Diego...fuck! I don’t remember your last name, that’s really ruining this speech!” Her fist came down hard on the car door panel; he flinched. “Darling, what’s your last name again? I - I can’t do this power speech without it.”

He said nothing, indigent and grumpy.

“Whatever, I’ll make do. Um…” she was quiet for a second, then with a triumphant ‘a-ha!’, spoke again. “Okay. So I get you, Diego, I see you for who you are.”

Was his whole entire life leading up to this car ride straight to hell? Because if so, Diego could only wish time travel actually worked. Maybe then he could go back to 1989 and stop himself, somehow, maybe just-

“-you try so hard to make other people think you’re this grumpy lil’ pisspot of hatred and anger and ‘I work alone, move or be moved’ mantra. So, so hard, it makes everyone mad and hate you back, and you’re alone all over again.” She sucked in a heaving breath, sighed loudly and kept going. “But the real Diego, he doesn’t want that!”

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “You don’t know what you’re goin’ on about, I suggest you stop before this gets stupid.”

She laughed, even louder than before. How was that even possible. “It already is! It’s all so stupid, Diego, because people could like you! I mean, you’re a lovely, soft little man underneath the knives and spandex and,” she dropped her voice low and grisly, “‘I hate everything and everyone and also...I’m Batman...woo...Gotham City...I stop crime…”

“Stop it-”

“-but you don’t have to be lonely, darling muffin man,” she cried, throwing her hands up and out in a triumphant cry. “You don’t have to! People like you, or they can like you - I might have to give this speech again, but that’s okay, do you have a pen and paper I can use to write it down?”

He ignored her, trying to force down the pounding in his heart. Trying not to think about a thing she was saying and how badly he wanted to respond to it, no matter how much bullshit and how she slurred her words and spoke in stupid rambles that made not much sense at all. But trying to convince a brain to not think about the very thing they can’t stop thinking about almost all the time, is a very difficult task and an impossible one for Diego, at that moment.

But he really, really did not want to think about how much he wanted to respond to her words.

“I like you, you know that?”

His eyes widened; barely a sign of weakness, and one she didn’t catch. But still there.

“I think you’re rude, and annoying, and dumb sometimes because you almost always get yourself hurt, and I don’t like that,” she rambled, swinging her hands about, conducting an invisible orchestra only she could hear. “But underneath all that stupid shit, you’re quite adorable, you know? And likeable. I feel so bad you feel the need to be so, so hard all the time.”

A beat, and then she laughed again,

“Ah! That’s what she said - ha, I said ‘hard….all the time…’ - tha’s what she said!”

Diego swerved the car to the side street and carried down, slowing until they were in the front of her apartment building. For a moment, he struggled to say a thing, finding the words lost in the chasm of his thoughts. But finally, he managed to speak again, forcing the anxiety down again.

“We’re here.”

“Wh-oh! You’re right.” Her eyes moved from his face to the window, pressing her nose against the glass. “Wow. That was so, so fast.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Thank you, so much, dear...darling...dear...Diego.” With a happy sigh, she unbuckled her seatbelt - he was surprised she was able to do so so easily - and climbed out of his car. “Thank you, and have an -oof!”

In the spirit of dumb drunk decisions, Y/N had taken too big a step backwards and promptly fell, right down on her face. And then laid there groaning and mumbling to herself, while Diego stared at her from his side unsure what the hell to do.

“Dammit,” he muttered, and unbuckled his own seatbelt. He hurried out of the car and over to her side. “How much have you had to drink?!”

“Not that much! I mean, a little much, but not thaaaaat much!” Her lips pouted, staring up at him above her. “Why, how much have you had?”

“N-none. Nothing. Stop it.”

Y/N giggled and sat herself up in the grass. Her gaze moved from his to the sky, mapping the stars through a foggy gaze.

Diego just watched her, unsure what to do or say, as she smiled and watched and mumbled to herself something he could not even try to make out. He swallowed, hard, trying to free his mind or how strangely beautiful she looked, sitting with grass in her hair and tears of laughter staining her cheeks.

It was so strange to see someone who he had forced himself to avoid at all costs, someone who he had grown to see in only one specific light so open and free like that. Uncaring, smiling, drunk off her ass but clearly doing at least a bit better than he was. 

His mind went back to what she had said in the car, the small comment about hurt. Why had she been drinking? What had led her, someone of such strict schedule, out alone to a shitty bar in the middle of the night, alone, then to call him? Surely she had more people she’d rather talk to - at least people who’d be nicer about helping her home. Why was it him she turned to?

“Diego?”

He looked back down. “Yeah?”

“Gonna help me up, or are you gonna just stand over me and wait for me to take you down? Cause, you know, I will-”

“-yeah, yeah.” Taking her outstretched hands, he tugged her up, that time more gentle in case of injury. As well, careful not to pull her too close. “You...you need help up?”

“Hm? Oh, no, I should be fine. I’ll call my roommate down, she’s great at helping people.” She smiled cheerily. “You’d hate her.”

Diego did not take the bait, though. He simply held her gently and guided her forward, to the apartment complex doors. He paused, ready to let her go, and then, 

“Why wouldn’t you just call her to get you, then?”

Y/N gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, dropping them down immediately after. “And miss out on this terrific bonding experience between the two of us, dear-ling?”

“Well - I-I just mean-”

“-sorry, Diego,” she said, that time a little softer. “I just wanted to see you, is that so wrong?”

“W-w-”

“-don’t answer that, I’m too tired for more of your sharp wit tonight.” Her words bled sarcasm, but her eyes remained bright and happy despite. Y/N then moved close to him, stepping shakily forward so she stood just in front before lifting up to her tallest height. Awkwardly, her hands finding his biceps, she pressed a kiss to the area between his mouth and cheek, into day-old stubble he had almost forgotten about.

Diego shivered.

She pulled back, scrutinizing his skin with furrowed brows. “Hm...I think I mis...nevermind. You be safe, muffin….okay?”

Diego found he could not say a word to that all, struggling to even nod back a response. Luckily, Y/n didn’t seem to need one. She nodded happily and swayed away, into her apartment complex. He watched her lean against the wall and call her roommate, lips moving animatedly in what seemed a more interesting conversation that he thought such a thing would have been.

Then she pulled away, and their eyes met again. Hers alive and his frozen, struggling still to comprehend what the hell had happened in that twenty-minute drive.

She smiled at him.

He couldn’t bring himself to do a thing. Just waited, making sure someone came down to get her before turning back to his car.

Diego moved through the actions of getting in, forcing his body to keep going even when his mind was barely moving at all. Mechanically he fastened his seatbelt, long fingers slipping away without even a thought, moving to start the car up again.

But then fell from the wheel, and up to his face. A hand traced the skin her lips had just touched. The skin was dry, but he could still feel somehow the imprint of her mark, pressing into his skin and stubble and being.

And then the hand fell away. Went back to the car, peeling out of the lot and off back to his own place. It dared not touch the skin again, for fear of being burned.

Diego tried to forget about it. Tried to sleep, work out, push through the thoughts radiating through his mind as though it was frozen on just one screen and didn’t know how to exit unto another. He stayed up all night, trying to rid himself of the memory and the thoughts and feelings and the way her eyes looked so stupidly bright in the street lights.

When he finally was able to sleep, it was restless and filled with torments of memories he did his best not to think about. And yet every time, the dreams cycled back to her, the her crying out stupid monologues in the passenger seat of his car, animated and loud and laughing like he had never heard someone laugh before. Drunk and in pain and clearly holding back something and yet alive, in a way he had not seen another human be in a long time.

Her gaze on him, every single time, just before he would wake up, smiling from ear to ear.

“I just wanted to see you, is that so-”

-and then he woke up.

Every time, smiling like a stupid idiot.

PART TWO - here.

#diego hargreeves x reader #tua x reader #the umbrella academy x reader #this may be super messy i'm so sorry #but it's happy and i rarely write anything happy so!!! #i actually like this fic #my fics