#u can make these good points elsewhere | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uglyducklingofthe2000s · 3 months

Text

Limits - OP81

Request: heyyyyy, so i LOVE ur account and so (if ur request r open) could u write a mean dom oscar (if u write 4 him) where the reader has been teasing him like the whole race weekend and he finally had enough and just like fucks the shit out of her????

Themes: Very rough sex, safe word (at one point there is a one chance use), mean dom Oscar (ngl irl I think Oscar is just the softest man alive with his gf), brat!reader, edging followed by overstimulation, use of toys too ;)

I think I honestly made Oscar so unhinged, like I'm not sure you can say this resembles Oscar at all but...lol enjoy anyway. Please proceed with caution fr.

In truth, Oscar knows he's maybe been neglecting his girlfriend in giving her attention recently. So maybe he should've known she'd go out of her way to provoke his possessive jealous side.

Flirting and acting stupidly ditsy with not only Lando and Logan but she really went and befriended Daniel and Carlos too. Daniel the man he replaced and while there's no bad blood between them, she knows it's not nice. In addition, going after Carlos who there is actually a bit of tension with because of their on track collisions and impeding.

Oscar's cool demeanour was getting harder and harder to maintain.

Before qualifying he finally reaches a peak when he spots her laughing with one of the mechanics, leaning to whisper in his ear with her eyes trained on her boyfriend as he nears her, pulling at the strap on his helmet to get it off.

Whatever expression he's wearing isn't a mask of his emotions and he nears his girlfriend scaring the mechanic off to tend to the car.

"You did good." Y/n comments absently while directing her attention elsewhere, looking behind him before waving her fingers at Lando who has climbed out his car.

In a moment of not controlling himself anymore, his finger hooks her chin and forces her to look at him, the fire behind his eyes making her realise mission was well and truly accomplished. She has his attention.

But when he leans over into her ear.

"Keep it up. You're digging yourself a hole that you're already very deep in." Oscar whispers darkly making her almost shudder.

She's pissed Oscar off before. She's not stranger to his anger resulting in a form of punishment that she's all to happy to receive. But the hollow, icy void of his voice tells her that she has gone too far. He might just make her regret this so much, there's going to be a permanent change.

"I-"

"You want to keep yourself quiet for the rest of the day." Oscar cuts in sternly making her swallow but nod. "Good."

The atmosphere between Oscar and y/n was tense for the rest of the day and getting back to the hotel y/n is in a sweat of nerves.

She's been practically mute aside from polite goodbyes and small talk for the rest of the day and by the time they are alone again, she is almost fearful of her boyfriend's temperament. Waiting for him to speak first.

"Get on the bed, y/n." Oscar instructs making her heart thump but she does as asked while he turns to watch her actually be obedient for once. He's got a burning gaze, she almost wants to grimace at the feeling, but she just keeps herself breathing steadily.

Oscar doesn't speak for nearly 5 minutes and honestly if she was with anyone else, she might genuinely fear for her life. But instead she feels like her thighs are about to chaff from how wet she's getting.

"Ok, baby." He sighs knowing he's had the intended effort by staring her down for a few minutes. "You know what you were doing was wrong. I'm not going easy on you just because you want to use bratty ways to get my attention. There's better ways."

Honestly, Oscar has been hard and uncomfortable since he got out the car. It's a miracle no one noticed and y/n has been so obviously too focused on herself like the selfish little brat she is, so she has not noticed.

"Breathe, y/n." Oscar instructs with a sharp edge to his tone already knowing she's tense enough and silent enough that she has been holding her breath, unintentionally but still he doesn't want her to suffocate herself.

"Sorry."

Oscar has no intention of going easy on her. He's got no intention of leaving her wanting more. She's going to get what she wanted, all of his attention even if he's not there to give it. But he'll be saving that particular element to her punishment for later.

"You're keeping your hands to yourself." Oscar states hardly giving her seconds to notice he's managed to pull of his short and top in record speed before, pushing her back, tearing her own clothes off with no regard for the fact she really liked that dress. "Safe word."

"Red."

Simple, short and effective.

Y/n has to tame her excitement of knowing she's about to get some real attention. He knows her body so it's no surprise that when he slams into her with no warning that there's no resistance from dryness but the sudden feeling of being filled with his whole length. She was wet but completely unprepared for feeling so full.

She knows better than to remain quiet, if Oscar wants one thing during sex it's to hear every reaction she has to give. He wants to hear her voice strain and slowly fade because he wants her fucked out so hard that her voice is worn out.

There's no adjustment pause, he's slamming in and out of her with no remorse, chasing his own pleasure while completely bruising her g-spot. Though he changes angle aiming to hit something else and when he does she completely cries out when he presses a hand down on her stomach the sheer pressure combine with the new angle leaving him smashing into her cervix with all intention to probably leave her feeling the after effects of this punishment till the next race. A reminder not to act up again short of feeling it for another two weeks.

"Oscar." Y/n cries out getting closer to orgasm while he continues to go almost feral on her.

It's too much. Everything feels too much.

To her surprise, Oscar pulls out and she feels an eruption of anger and attitude.

"What the hell?"

"Get on the floor and open your mouth, I don't want to hear a word and don't you dare thing about putting those hands anywhere near that fucking cunt." Oscar instructs making her glare at him but he's challenging her. She refuses and him not letting her finish when she was so close is going to be the least of her problems.

His tone and words makes her get up, more than aware her throat is about to receive the same treatment that almost had to her close to orgasm. But she's not going to quite get the same pleasure from it.

Y/n already knows if she said red, this would stop in the moment. But where's the fun in that? Even if it's going to take her a while to get there before he allows her to enjoy herself.

"Use that mouth for something it's actually good at that." Oscar sighs as she gets down on her knees in front of him. Feigning innocence does nothing for Oscar, so she doesn't waste time batting her eyelashes and giving him a kitten lick.

She practically swallows his length down whining when he groans and gathers her hair messily in a fist as the back of her head. A few seconds pass before she makes it obvious she doesn't want to control the speed or depth, she might be a brat but at the end of the days even she knows who is in control.

If he intended to wear her voice out from forcing her to use it after pounding her throat and seeing just how far he can force his dick down it, then he's certainly going to be successful.

Tears gather in her eyes before she tries to close them. Mistake number one.

"No. You keep looking at me."

Another whine but he so obviously doesn't care as he looks down at her. He groans shooting his cum down her throat as he holds her down just completely filling her stomach before she is let up.

"Please." Y/n pants earning a cruel smirk.

"Please what?"

"Please finish me too."

"You want to cum too?" He taunts making her swallow thickly. "What makes you think you deserve it?"

Y/n's lip quivers. Oh her boyfriend can come across and calm, sweet and smiley to the public but this side can be so mean. She knows it's her doing and again if she says red he'll scoop her up with a 180 with his mood and attitude towards her.

"You've acted like a brat all weekend, you flirted with four other drivers. Why should I make you feel good?"

If she says "because I'm your girlfriend who just swallowed your cum" as an answer that will work in her favour or against her?

"Because I won't do it again?"

Now a flat out no would've been more comforting than his hand being held out because what follows is just her being pinned to the bed.

"You know what I think?" Oscar questions making her swallow thickly, her throat knocking the Aussie's lips as he kisses her neck, moving kisses down in a faux gentleness that even in her frustration and nerves, she's not foolish enough to fall for. "I think you will do it again, because you can't help yourself."

Not good news for her.

"Don't worry, baby. I'm going to make you feel good."

Oscar's head disappearing between her legs honestly leaves looking at the ceiling, skin prickly with anticipation. But her chest shakes with a moan of relief as he pushes two fingers into her, just his touch being enough for her to feel her body building up to another orgasm. She could probably cum just from the memory of Oscar filling her if she really tried, but Oscar doesn't want that.

Which is why every time she begins to tense, every time she begin to gasp for, grind further down into his face, she is desperately chasing an orgasm that he'll deny her possibly all night. Maybe she won't get one. The worst level of punishment she could possibly receive and he knows it.

It goes on forever, he moves back and eases up any time she gets close and it had her in tears. Then he stops.

"Alright, you get to finish tomorrow." Oscar states mainly because he can see y/n is fighting exhaustion. He's being horrible from a place of kindness. Not that she sees it that way.

"No. No. Please. I'll do anything, Oscar, please. Don't leave me high and dry."

"I promise you, I'll make it up to you tomorrow." And she'll wish he wasn't making such a promise. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then you know I'll make you feel so good tomorrow."

Y/n feels on the brink of insanity, he's toyed with her for well over an hour. Bringing her to the edge and never letting her free fall into an orgasm.

"Come on, you need some sleep."

Oscar makes sure y/n is position with his thigh settled between her legs, wet on his skin as she partially lies on top of him. It's fairly obvious that were it not for him holding her tightly against himself that she's be restless and endlessly shifting.

But she does somehow get to sleep, long after Oscar who can sleep even with his girlfriend struggling to settle her unkempt energy.

The depth of sleep y/n had fallen into was impressive. Especially when he tied her up and sighs blowing a cool breeze against her core, watching it twitch and clench around nothing. Puffy from yesterday's abuse but today he's about to make her wish she'd never even thought about opening her mouth and speaking to another driver.

Now one thing about their sex life is that Oscar doesn't cater to the idea he's too good to use toys on y/n.

He sighs rubbing his fingers a final attempt to wake her up which works, but she jumps awake in a shock of being so restricted. Her hands tied together at the headboard, and her legs tied so they're bent revealing her pussy to the air.

"What-"

"You have once chance to tap out and use your safe word now, because I'm going to make sure you're left for hours on this bed without anyone to come in and stop what's going to happen." Oscar warns making her look at him. "But if you let it happen, this is the end of your punishment."

"Hours."

"I'll be back before the race. Only maybe two hours."

Just long enough to do whatever stuff the team demands of him, then disappear for some peace before the end of the season.

"Ok?" Oscar questions once everything is turned on and she is biting her lip harshly.

"Mmhm." Y/n nods swallowing thickly and clearing her throat.

"I'll be back soon."

Y/n does get a kiss goodbye and a wink before Oscar grabs his stuff and leaves, making sure the do not disturb sign is up.

The first orgasm is welcome. The second is pretty appreciated too, even if it's reigniting the soreness. The third runs on the thin line between pain and pleasure. The fourth she begins to feel regret seep in but it's bearable. The fifth and sixth thankfully take a bit longer to creep up on her.

After that the orgasm that follow or painful, her stomach tensing, her body coating in sweat and she doesn't even know how many she has in the finish.

By the time Oscar appears he rushes when he spots her and the state she's got to. Believe it or not, this is not the first or even the second time y/n's been left exactly like this. But he did taken longer than he initially expected so maybe one or two orgasms more than he'd thought she'd have is what he managed.

"Alright, baby. Ok. Ok. Breathe with me." He soothes feeling some pinches of guilt as she hyperventilates. Soaked from her cum and tears. "You're ok."

Her limbs are freed and she latches onto the man muttering and mumbling apologies through and between hiccups, her face hiding in her neck as she seeks out as much comfort as possible.

By some miracle he calms her down enough to get her into the shower for a clean up and after checking for time, he redresses them both, helps dry her hair.

"Do you want to stay here or come to the race?"

"Do I look ok?" Y/n murmurs knowing there's a good chance even after showering she could look like a complete mess.

"You look beautiful. Cleaned up well." Oscar assures her while she swallows thinking about how much she must've looked when he walked in. His cool and unbothered expression was very much panicked upon seeing her. "Don't make me do that again."

Y/n nods obediently before grinning when he turns and she manages to end up on his back, trying not to grimace from the pressure of her crotch.

She almost definitely will give him reason to do it again. That's why it's not the first time he's done it. But she won't be flirting with any of the other guys on the grid as the reason. She might act like a brat, but she does learn from her mistakes.

958 notes · View notes

rinhaler · 6 months

Note

luxe, hear this anon out. rin with a crybaby type of reader who cries when they feel too good. just imagine him unlocking the fact realizing that he gets turned on by their crying when they're sputtering and choking on his cock <33

apologies if im a bit deranged about this

- jellyfish anon

okay I cannot express how sexy this request is. I NEED him in a way that undoes centuries worth of feminism I fear :( also apologies I'm not that best at writing BJs but I hope u like! (slightly inspired by scream vi)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, oral (m receiving), dacryphilia, praise, slut used once, alcohol mention, reader has long hair/hair long enough to do a makeshift ponytail ♡

words: 1.9k

“You shou— talk to ‘im—” your friend slurs, giggling as you help her sit down on your couch. You laugh a little as she falls from your grip and spreads out comfortably on the sofa beneath her. “Look, he’s looking!” she yells a little too loudly and points.

You shush her, carefully moving her hand to her lap before looking to where she had been pointing. Your neighbour had been looking from his window into yours for a little bit, smirking a little when he finally notices you looking back. He’s doing dishes in the sink, and it gives you the idea to get your friend some water.

“He’s been giving you fuck me eyes f-for weeks! Every time I come over he’s always—”

“Maybe you shouldn’t point and make it so obvious, babe.” you laugh, handing a glass full of water to her. “He’s just being friendly. Besides, I’m not really ready to date or anything yet. I’m just having fun hanging out with my bestie.” you tease her, nudging her with your elbow.

She pouts, eyes filling with water before she hugs you. She’s always been an emotional drunk, and soon enough she’s confessing how much she adores you and what a perfect best friend you are.

“Do you have any snacks? Wan’ some chocolate.” she tells you. You shake your head. “Ugh. Ooooh! You should go ask hot guy if he has any!” she suggests, kicking her feet and giggling all the while.

You look elsewhere. In the direction of hot guy. But he’s not at the window anymore. He’s probably in bed, it is pretty late. You hadn’t expected to be getting home after midnight from your cousins wedding given that you aren’t really that close. But bringing your best friend as a plus one extended the time you spent there.

There was an open bar.

“I’ll go to the store. What kind of chocolate do you want?” you ask.

“Surprise me.” she smiles. “Thaaaaank youuuuuu~!” she speaks in a sing-song voice.

“Don’t burn my apartment down while I’m gone.” you warn her, pretending to scowl at her before you laugh at yourself. She nods, eyes fluttering closed as her body sinks further and further into the couch.

You grab your keys and head out of the front door. If you were smart, you would have ordered dessert. There’s no way you should be leaving the safety of your apartment so late and stepping out into the city. But it’s just around the corner, that’s what you’re telling yourself. Nothing bad can happen to you if you just hurry.

As you reach the bottom floor, you recognise the man standing by the mailboxes near the entrance to your apartment building. He hasn’t noticed you, though, and why would he? He’s occupied sifting through the letters in his hands. You take a shallow breath, mentally preparing yourself for the dangers of going outside.

He raises his head as he smells your perfume when you walk by.

You gasp, feeling his hand dig into the flesh of your upper arm before he pulls you closer to him. It’s hard to even figure out what your thoughts are as you feel your back connect with rows of metal mailboxes. And before you can greet him, his lips are on yours.

You smile into the kiss, a hand cups your face as he presses his body a little harder into yours. He smiles back when he hears a soft little moan escape you at the feeling of being trapped against him. A sound from a higher floor frightens you, you turn your head and move away from him.

“Sorry, I thought my friend might be—”

“Hey,” he grabs your wrist and makes you face him. “You’re too ashamed being seen with me?” he smiles a little, teasing you. You smile back, shaking your head in protest.

“No it’s not that!” you tell him. “I better get going, though. She’s drunk and wants some chocolate.”

“You’re not going out on your own.” he speaks. It’s commanding, his voice filled with care and concern and it makes you weak at the knees. “Do you know that you can order snacks?”

“Uh, no, I've never heard of that.” you roll your eyes and speak sarcastically, earning a laugh from him.

“Maybe you should come upstairs with me, and I’ll show you how to do it.” he tells you, approaching you again. Your voice gets trapped in your throat as he looks down at you, and you find yourself nodding before even thinking about your answer. He smiles, though, kissing you deeply at your response. A sweet sort of praise for delivering an answer he’s happy to hear.

He takes your hand, guiding you up to his apartment.

“Done.” he smiles, putting his phone down on the counter. “I ordered pizza and your friend’s chocolate.”

“Perfect, thank you, Rin.” you thank him, “It’ll probably be a while… what shall we do in the meantime?”

“You know…” he starts, closing the gap between you. “I’ve really missed you all day.”

“Yeah? Ah—!” your voice gets caught in your throat as you feel him pick you up with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck as he carries you. You’ve missed him, too. You’ve never put a label on whatever this is. But as far as you’re concerned, it’s just fun. It’s easy. And it’s good.

He is good.

He sits on the couch with you straddling him. A little groan leaves his lips as yours stray to kiss down the column of his neck. His hips roll up, the outline of his cock rubs into your wanting core. His eyes are glued to you as your kisses descend his body, and he curses himself for not throwing away his sweater before picking you up.

It doesn’t matter though, not when you’re resting between his knees with your hands pawing at his cock. Your eyes are full, wanton whimpers filling every breath you take as you do all you can to quickly undo his belt.

“Can I give you head, baby?” you ask, helping remove his cock from the confines of his jeans. He nods, eagerly, his fingers stroking your scalp through your hair as encouragement.

You’re salivating when his dick is revealed in all of its perfect glory. Flushed pink and pretty and throbbing with lust. An unyielding desire to feel your mouth around it. You lick at the oozing pearlescent pre gathering at his slit. The moan he emits at the feeling rushes straight to your cunt. Your hand flies under your dress and beneath your sopping panties, Rin’s cheeks fill with a pink tint at the sight. He hadn’t expected you to touch yourself, his ego climbs heights he hadn’t thought possible at your overzealous act.

“Baby, please… please suck my cock.” he begs. You nod, mewling as you sink your mouth entirely onto him. “F-uck. Good girl, such a good girl.” he groans. You feel his hand cup your face, angling your vision so that your watery eyes are focused on him. He sees the pleasure building in you as you stare back at him.

Your little fingers aren’t enough to satiate the burning need pulsating at your core. But seeing Rin’s facial expressions are more than enough to keep you motivated. You want to make him proud. You want to make him cum. You take his cock entirely down your throat, and pride fills your body when he throws his head back.

He looks down at you, and he bites at his lower lip as you suck and choke around his length, tears spilling over your lash line as you take him more and more.

“Fuck, baby, you like this?” he asks, and you nod without hesitation. He thrusts his hips and fucks into your face until you’re choking on him. His hand grips into your hair and forms a makeshift ponytail as he continues to pound into your mouth like you’re his own personal fuck toy. He pulls you away reluctantly, giving you a chance to breathe. Though that isn’t why he did it. He wants to hear how good you feel. He wants to study the tears welling at your eyes. “You’re such a cute slut for me… cryin’ for my cock? Fucking adorable.” he grins.

You sob, unable to stop yourself. You rest your hands on his thighs as you sniffle, allowing him the time to really enjoy how pathetic and desperate you are.

“Love making you feel good…” you speak, shyly. “I—”

You don’t get the chance to speak anymore when he forces you back down on his cock. His eyes are heavy and filled with lust as he carries on rutting his hips into your face. You can’t stop yourself from twirling your fingers through his dark pubes. It’s the only thing keeping you grounded in reality as the feeling of his cock entirely takes over every synapse in your brain.

It’s unrelenting. He can’t stop himself as the tears continue to fall. Fat tears rolling without end down your hollowed cheeks. He batters his length into your drooling mouth, a mixture of spit and pre rolling down your chin and coating his balls as he repeatedly slams himself in and out. His thick length clogs your airways with each thrust. He can’t believe the pretty, lewd noises leaving you as you do your best to take him. The sputtering doesn’t cease, and knowing he’s so big that you can’t help but gag is making him mad with lust.

He holds your head with both of his large hands, keeping you in place as he fucks his length down your throat.

“Fuck, fuck, baby. Take it, ‘m cumming.” he warns you, a loud grunt following as ropes of tangy white cream spurt down your throat before you can barely get a taste. You show him your empty mouth, and he kisses your forehead in response. You hear your phone buzz, your head turning to acknowledge the sound. But he pulls you back, lifting you onto his lap before standing up with you in his hold. “I got carried away.” he kisses your lips.

“No it’s okay, I had fun.” you smile, kissing him back.

“You make me fucking crazy. Crying like that, over my cock? You’re so sweet.” he tells you, kissing you again. “Have you always been such a cry baby? I like it, a lot.” he whispers before kissing lovingly along your neck. You roll your eyes, kissing him and giggling against his lips. Before you can answer you hear your phone buzz again,

“Sorry, I should check that.” you tell him. He sets you down and tucks his cock back into his underwear and jeans. You smile when you feel him hug you from behind, kissing him before checking your texts.

Bestie 💖: are u still at the shop? hot boy has a gf :( i can see him getting a blowy through the window Bestie 💖: ugh they look so cute i hate her, i rly thought he liked you!!

Your blood runs cold as you feel the vibration of another text coming through. Rin smiles, tucking his head into your neck to offer a calming kiss while you read your texts together.

Bestie 💖: OH MY GOD YOU BITCH! IT’S YOU! YOU FUCKING BITCH!

You reluctantly look up, and Rin does the same. You see your best friend standing by the window with a shocked expression on her face. She holds her phone up and takes quick picture as you and Rin wave at her through the window. You look down to see a notification from her, the picture is now available for your whole Snapchat group chat to see.

“I gotta remember to close my blinds at night.” he laughs.

#💌 — luxe mail #📨 — requests #jellyfish anon (🪼)#blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #itoshi rin #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #blue lock smut #itoshi rin smut #rin itoshi smut #bllk smut #bllk x fem!reader #tw dacryphilia #tw praise

925 notes · View notes

hrdenha · 9 months

Text

— office hours | p.js

synopsis: you're stressed, still a virgin, and wanted to get laid. you wanted it to be a complete stranger. luckily, for you, there's one who's been watching you from the vip rooms.

pairings: stranger!park jongseong x office worker/virgin!reader

warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. drunk reader, still with consent of course, basically asking some stranger to get her virginity, jay's big 👀, fingering, penetration, breeding kink, c*ck warming, oral s*x (f receiving)

AUTHOR'S NOTE — !

and i am backkk! it's been awhile since i posted here but tbh, i still have so many drafts in this blog. i dont know when i can finish it and post it but I'm hoping for the absolute best. please, turn a blind eye whenever you see errors and misspelled words. this is not yet edited and i just finished writing this a few minutes ago.

oh! and don't forget to check out some of my works and enjoy! also, let me know what u think in the comments or reblogs 🫶

"So, let me sum this up..." Ryujin held up her right hand for a 'pause' before drinking her Starbucks cup as if she needed the strong savor of coffee to stay sane on something that was about to go on.

"So you wanted to get laid but you're still a virgin and you don't know someone who can do you?"

Is it just you, or did ryujin just emphasize the words 'you', 'get laid', and 'virgin'? Is it that hard to believe? Is the idea THAT crazy?

"Yes, and please lower your voice" You hissed at her which Karina chuckled, all while trying to cover your face with your right hand; as you turned your head back when a group of employees walked past the three of you.

"How about, chan?" Karina suggested. "From the I.T. unit? He looks so good and IS good"

Both you and ryujin make a revolted face, "Ew. How do you know?" The woman beside you asked that karina just responded with a simple shrug before looking away to sip on her coffee.

You shook your head, "I don't want the person to know me and vice versa. I think I need a complete stranger to help me... with this" The word 'stranger' dragged in between your teeth when you groaned at your so-called 'problem'.

"Is that your new fetish?" Ryujin teasingly smiled at you, jutting her eyebrows up and down, making you roll your eyes.

"but seriously what? we can't just throw you to some man on the street, y/n. what if he's a good-for-nothing asshole?" ryujin replied with karina agreeing on her side. "But seriously, y/n what's the rush? I mean, I'm not the sentimental type of a person obviously..." The blue-haired woman rolled her eyes, "but would it even hurt if you wait a little bit more? for a person you know and are comfortable with?"

You exhaled, karina has a point though "I know but it's been bugging me. I don't like rushing things like this but it keeps me from experiencing 'that' level of fun. It feels like I'm missing something. I want to live my life a little, not that I'll sleep with everyone I laid my eyes but you know? Having fun without thinking of some limitation is such a temptation."

Both of your girls nodded, telling you that they understand. "Okay, let's go with plan B. After work this thursday, let's go to this bar I knew" This time, it's your turn to nod silently thanking your friends that they're supportive.

Your mind flies elsewhere as you try to convince yourself that your choice is fair, something that was not bad but also not good.

You're not lying when you told your friends that you don't like rushing things like this. Originally, you just wanted to go with the flow. If you'll get into a serious relationship, which is far away to happen because you're a career-oriented woman— then you'll give it to someone who deserves it. Of course, you had a fair share of relationships; a tough one on top of that.

Maybe it was the trauma. Having a relationship running for almost 2 years and then suddenly opening your eyes to see your boyfriend, heads up manipulating you was exhausting. That's why you didn't hesitate to break up with your boyfriend who tried to manipulate you into having sex with him while having a sexual relationship with his branch manager in a strictly no-office romance setting.

Of course, it didn't end with just the breakup. Of course, you wouldn't let him prey against other women again. No, it's not your type at all. You wanted to cripple him... big time. And so, you print all his soliciting of nudes amongst the women in their branch and the sexual conversation with his manager he's been having an affair with; even manage to ladle some CCTV footage where the two of them had sex in one of the office room then sent it anonymously to the head office of the company which resulted in his and the woman's contract to be terminated.

After that chaotic incident, you never opened up your heart to everyone. You just basically drowned yourself in work that resulted in you becoming the head manager of your own team.

At first, you're contented, happy even. You stepped up your game at work with nothing but your schedule as the first source of conflict in your life. The fact of you, being not in a relationship and a virgin on top of that, didn't really matter to you except last month when things started to happen.

The corporation you've been working at got a huge project that resulted in all the manpower to work causing you to be a little irritated. It's not the first time you handled such a huge project but if incompetent people will continuously be incompetent, then someone will definitely be on edge for days. You're convinced it was just the fatigue and stress. Of course, what else could it be? but then your cousin, Jake, told you otherwise.

"You're a little bit snappy these days, y/n" you smelled the oddly familiar aroma of Macchiato behind that even you can't help but to taste it on the tip of your tongue.

Jake emerges from behind you, mumbling a soft 'here' as he gently puts down the glass of the drink he personally made that he knew your favorite.

Your hands immediately glued to the cup taking a delicious sip before looking up to him, humming as the familiar taste of sweetness and vanilla hit your tongue, "It's nothing, just got a big project so we've been working nonstop"

"You need to relax"

"Believe me, I will..." You nodded your head, not looking at your cousin while your point finger keeps scrolling through the documents. "Just not now, maybe after this because work is currently kicking my ass off"

"Nah, bro. You don't need to wait for your work to finish in order to relax. You just need to get laid and then it will all go"

After Jake told you that, how can he walk out of your room as if nothing happened? Now, how can you function properly when you are mostly convinced that you really need to get laid in order to remove all the stress?

At first, you become in denial. You tried doing it the traditional way. Got yourself your favorite scented candle, play your favorite movie, a nice warm bath, and your friend, the pink vibrator after you bridged the project into a success that made the company give your whole team a two weeks vacation and an added bonus.

You become contented again. Turns out you don't need a man and sex just to relax, right? Wrong. Not until another project came up and you were on edge again, that's when you accepted your pain and resorted to your friends that put you in this situation.

Why can't God or someone high above drop a respectable, career-oriented man like you with a big dick and high stamina to fuck the stress out of you, straight on your lap? But no, that would be too good to be true.

Days easily passed by and here you are now, at Karina's house while she attempts to doll you up. You're used to wearing make-up, also because of your job where it is needed to look presentable at all times. What you're not accustomed to is wearing makeup with the purpose of getting laid.

"Drink this" Karina hand you a glass of water? Your hands took it unconsciously but give her a confused look where she just mouthed 'vodka'. That's when you realize all three of you have your own 'vodka' in your hands.

"... for what?" you ask carefully still confused as to why they drink vodka when there's a lot or you mean a LOT of alcoholic drinks at the bar later. You saw the two women behind you look at each other in the mirror before laughing. "Aww, this poor thing" Karina coos, "Luckily, she have us" Ryujin pouted before walking on your supposed-to-be outfit that was still in the box that she had delivered this morning.

"You need that so you'll be tipsy even before we get to the club" Karina replied when she saw your still confused face. She holds a makeup brush in front of you before whispering, "Don't worry, little tiger. We'll sharpen your claw and make you run free" You close your eyes tightly at the thought while feeling the brush on your lips. Dang, are you really that old potato?

"Try to be bold, y/n... remember that" Karina whispered as she brush another dab of the 'boldest' color of eyeshadow on your lids just like she said. "You're confident and bold, and we love that but it's not for the right thing as of now. This is not the job, not for hunting clients or something. Your purpose is to get laid, to have some dick in your mouth, okay?" ryujin added that made you playfully hit her.

"And... done!" Karina squealed, softly tucking an unwanted hair off your forehead. "Damn, you're so hot!" The girl made a 'cat claw' with her hands teasing as you stand in front of the full-body mirror across her room.

You were wearing a red mini dress that has a perfect cut-out on your solar plexus, partnered with a stylish necklace and simple earrings. The color made your hair and sultry makeup stand out.

Yes, you look good and you'll give karina and ryujin a thumbs up for helping you with the right make-up and dress but also, you can't help but cry inside when the skirt would slide up when you walk making your hands automatically pull it down again.

Ryujin slaps your hands, "No! No touching the dress, I'm not gonna let you slouch all day just because you wanted it to be below the knee length"

"It keeps riding up!" You pouted, "It's helping you get a dick tonight by practically displaying your ass" Ryujin replied before clicking her tongue, "Just let it slide the hell it wants, you look fine. Dang, you look so good, girl!" She added before pulling the three of you outside with the taxi waiting.

The bar was loud and dark. It has a bright light flashing in every direction and was packed with people. As the three of you walk towards the tunnel, the loud music slowly become prominent, the same with people greeting the girl you're with. "Karina!" Some guy called that she just responded with a kiss, "Who's this?" He asks looking at your figure up and down. "I didn't know we have a new meat coming up"

"You'll taste it if it wants to be eaten later so watch out but for now, we're here for a girl's night out and no boys are allowed" Karina responded for you, slightly pushing the guy out of the way and pulling both you and ryujin inside. Karina's action made you sigh in relief, you were getting uncomfortable at the guy's stare. It felt like he was stripping you naked. Will you be able to pull this off?

"How are we supposed to talk?" You talk loudly at ryujin's ears which made her laugh. "Just relax and have fun, y/n. Let it all out, just relax" She said patting your back before giving you a drink that karina ordered before.

"Have this... hope this helps you calm down" And she's right, you indeed got calm as the sweet taste of the cocktail hit your tongue. A little while and you were downing drinks after drinks. You even pulled your friends into the dance floor yourself, you were indeed having fun. In fact, too much fun.

It was just a cocktail, but you down a sweet cocktail into a shot of tequila real quick. And no, you're not drunk and you know it. You still know what you're doing, still, know what you're saying, and can still process what is happening around you. It's just that you were far more relaxed than the first time you walked through the entrance of this bar.

As you dance with your friends on the dancefloor, your eyes thoughtlessly linger on the second floor where the VIP rooms are located. And there you saw a man in a full expensive suit that perfectly fit and hug his body— standing on the veranda just in front of the stage where the dancefloor was located. He has a drink in his left hand while the other was tucked away in his pocket. You don't know if you're seeing this clearly but you swore, you saw him looking down directly at you. The man was sipping on his cup, hooded eyes still looking at you, watching you like a hawk observing its prey.

You want to blame it on alcohol, you were getting brazen and you like it. If it's true that the mysterious man WAS really looking at you then you have to give him a show, right?

And so you started to dance more sensually, feeling yourself like there's no tomorrow, even biting your lips. It was a bonus that an equally sexy song played at the right time. That made your hips unconsciously grind, making your friends hype you up even more. The time you look up again, the man was gone. Not a single person was standing on the second floor. The man suddenly vanishing in your eyes made you feel disappointed but didn't let it ruin your fun. Now, that's your main agenda, aside from hunting for a dick, of course.

When the song finished, you excused yourself from the dance floor to fetch yourself a drink. Well, that goes your social battery. It finally hit zero and right now, you need ice-cold water to help with your burning body. You walked towards the counter and requested your drink. Enough with the dance, now, all you want to do is drink in peace.

Which men never really understand. The whole time you were there, a handful of guys try giving you their company but you politely turn them down, not giving them a chance to see through you even though you can feel the liquor slowly hitting your senses. Your eyes unconsciously traveled towards the second floor where the reticent man was standing before. The rooms look expensive plus there are bouncers standing at the entrance of the stairwell.

If that man was real, then he was surely loaded. Lucky.

Your mind woke up when there was a shout coming from the other side of the bar. A fight just broke out and they were causing a scene. You don't know why but your head turns again towards the stairs going upstairs to the VIP rooms. The bouncers who were standing there before were now gone, maybe to assist with the fight.

Your lips slowly curved upward, feet straightly walking towards the stair and onto the second floor. There's a series of rooms and you took your time looking inside each of them. Finally, you reached the room at the far corner of the hallway. You were about to pull the lever handle when you noticed it was not closed, the door was just slightly agape and music was coming inside.

You slowly push it open and see a man in a suit sitting on the couch with papers on his hands. There are a few bottles of liquor on the table. Wine, Champagne, beer; you name it and it'll be there.

The man quietly looks at you, still waiting for your next move. You didn't know if this is the same man you saw earlier. But one thing is for sure, he is handsome: aura never failed to make your skin shiver.

As a career woman, him sitting expensively on the couch with a folder in his hands, while wearing black specs and a watch was so hot to see. It made your mouth water. It was as if the man was a blessing from the heavens and you really like him.

Your mouth can't help but release a giggle at the thought before finally letting yourself in and closing the door with your weight, your fingers turning their locks.

Maybe it was the alcohol, the liquor in your system was making you bold... making you brave as if you were in an illusion. You were in a perception that you mostly can do anything at this point.

You started walking in his direction, the man raise his brow, throwing the paper at the table not really caring if it got wet before shifting his position. His arms were now resting at the top of the couch as he manspread. Damn, he's so sexy.

His exorbitant suit really matched this place. The warm light that elucidates some parts of the room made his skin glow. He was so perfect, his eyes are soft but his thick eyebrows make them narrow and his hair... his perfect black hair slicked back completed his look.

He's a 10, a heaven on the place called Earth. You wanted him that's why you finally did the sole purpose of why you're here.

You approach his face and the manly fragrance immediately hit your senses, he smells good almost like a sophisticated noble. "You... I really like you" Your fingers seductively played with his tie before tugging it harshly closer to you, "Can you take my virginity... please?" Your voice drawled, staring intently into his eyes so that you can even see them mirror your lines.

It didn't go unnoticed on your sight the way his adam's apple bobbed, it made you release a snarky smile. "I believe you're drunk, miss" He coughed trying to compose himself and he didn't fail. The vulnerability you saw earlier fade almost immediately at the same time you noticed it.

"Too bad... I can clearly see you being turned on" You pouted, eyes gesturing at the forming tent on his pants; his eyes trailing behind.

"And, are you sure I'm drunk?"

"Well, are you?" He asks, the low tone of his voice making your skin shiver. You shake your head, smirking at him before grabbing a half-empty bottle of champagne and taking a drink of it. Oblivious, at the pair of eyes who are watching you with so much amusement.

"So..." You crawled on top, straddling him. Your lips can't help but smirk when you feel him jutting out his legs more for you. "Will you do me?"

"Don't need to tell me twice, kitten" His lips crashed with yours. Both lips molded perfectly with each other, and his teeth tugged at your lower rim demanding an entrance. The sudden stipulation made you smile in between your kiss and the way he deepens it made you think that he can't get enough of you.

The man pulled off from the kiss, heavy eyes setting on you while his hands feel your legs. "Come with me" He whispered leaving a butterfly kiss on one of your shoulders.

He gently pushes you off his lap before pulling you outside. There's another door aside from the one you use to get in, the said door was connected to a hallway where a modern elevator was waiting at the end of it. The two of you get inside and the man didn't waste the chance to once again entangled your bodies. He traps you on one of the corners, closing the space between the two of you with his body.

His lips immediately found yours, groaning when your lips caught him openly. Your arms can't help but unconsciously snake to his neck from the spur of the moment. He grabs your right leg, attaching it to his hips grinding himself on your clothed pussy

'Ding!' The elevator opened at its designated floor. The man pulled you again until both of you stops in front of a room. He snake his hands on his pocket, you noticed something black like a card. It must be a key card since he swipe it before the door automatically opens.

He pulled you in again before closing the door with your weight, kissing you hard again as if it was the first time he ever tastes you. The man scopes you up, both of your legs on either side of his body as both of you kiss like there's no tomorrow.

He put you on the bed, his hands tugging on his tie before pulling it off while his eyes set on you the whole time. You felt your pussy throb. How can someone be so hot just from pulling their tie off?

"Are you really sure about this?"

You didn't answer but nodded instead, the man shook his head. "I need your words, baby" His hands felt your cheeks, tucking your hair on your right ear. You hummed while closing your eyes to feel his tender touch, "I want you to take me" You finally said looking straight into his eyes.

"Just kiss me." And he did. He kisses you just how you like it, just how he likes it. It was as if he wants to devour you whole and you love it.

The man attacks your neck pulling you closer to him while leaving open mouth kisses on the way to your clothed chest. He was an expert, he made you lose your mind with his touch that you didn't even feel his fingers untying the strings from the back to loosen your shoulder strap.

He released a shaky breath at the sight of your bare breast. You felt his hot breath on your nipples and they almost immediately got hardened making him chuckle. His hands started massaging your front, followed by his mouth where his tongue played with your nipple, teeth bitting with your tits that made you lose your mind.

You felt his hands slowly traveling southward until he felt the wet spot on your panties caused by him. He didn't waste time and set the string of your thong aside then plunged a finger inside you that made you moan.

"Didn't even need to lubricate you on how wet you are, princess. So wet just because of me" He said, mouth and finger going back from to torturing both your tits and hole.

Your moan gets louder when he adds another finger and then another. "Fuck... ah!"

"Jay..." He suddenly said still pleasuring you.

"W-hat?"

"Moan my name" You don't know how your brain processed it but you nod. So his name was Jay? This a distinctive way of exchanging names but you love it

Jay eyes all your reaction as he torments you in pleasure. His hands didn't just go in and out but also up and down, even circling his fingers as if he was tickling the deepest part of you.

It didn't take long before the pleasure spreads across your body, the feeling of pleasure from his mouth and fingers mixing into a big pressure inside your stomach. You were practically screaming his new-learned name from pleasure and he was letting you. Even felt him smiling from your skin as you emphatically close your eyes.

"I- ah! gonna... cum! Jay!" You shouted feeling his pace becoming faster than before, making your back arches and head was thrown back at the bed. With one last cry of his name, you finally cum. Jay's fingers ride your high while you motionlessly lay on your back, mind still blown from the orgasm.

Jay lay beside you, his clothed erection brushing on your legs as he did. "You alright?"

You sighed before nodding just looking at the white ceiling, "That was... wow" a chuckle came out of your lips before looking at him. Jay was resting his head on his hands as he lay on his side while looking down at you, "One thing is for sure..." His brow rose, wordlessly telling you to continue. "I'm definitely not drunk"

Both of you chuckled, and you can't help but to stare at him. He really is beautiful. Your eyes gaze on his pants, "Aren't we going to take care of that?" You ask as you felt Jay eyes his erection.

"I don't know, will you?"

Is he challenging you? He didn't even know how you love challenges. You smirked pushing him to lay on his back that made jay smile in amusement, "Definitely" You took the chance to straddle him again, your bare chest giggling at the sudden movement.

Jay's dick was exactly underneath your pussy making you sigh in relief. The adonis sit up crashing his lips to you while you take off his suit then unbutton his polo and finally his well-toned body is displayed in front of you. "Like what you see?" He asks, brow raising at you.

You scoffed playfully, "And what if I do?"

And, that's the last thing you remembered before passing out and finally waking up in bed in the same room you and the man named 'jay' practically devoured each other out. You don't remember anything after you blacked out, and you're not certainly sure if you really took care of Jay's err— problem but one thing you are sure of is that you didn't get laid, well, in terms with penetration, that is.

You enjoyed the night, that's for sure. So, you waited for Jay. You waited for the man who made you see stars the night before but no one came. You also tried finding some notes or any message he might have left but nothing. Jay must've got turned off after you passed out on him last night. Oh well, life goes on. You can't really do something about it even though you're dying to see him again to try to make it up for how he made you feel. But then again, you have a reputation to maintain and so, you prepare yourself to go to work.

"Is it true that Chairman Park's grandson is finally here after years of managing our western branch?"

"Maybe? I'm just hoping he's hot— ah, good morning, sunbae!" it didn't go unnoticed to your ears on how the woman's voice raised a little higher before both of them bowed to you as a respect when you step inside the elevator. You're not a strict superior and have your own issue to resolve so you just dismissed them after returning a simple smile and a bow.

"Oh, so you're alive. We thought you were dead and got your organs sold over the black market." That's the first thing your co-worker, karina asked as soon as you pulled the glass door to step inside. You stared at her dumbfounded, mouth slight agape. "Not gonna let me sit first are you?"

The woman stared and is hot on your heels as you make your way on your own table to put your things down. You're not looking at Karina but you can feel how she rolled her eyes when you purposely do your own thing a little bit slowly to make your friend suffer a little bit. You know how she hates slow people.

You heard her huff a quiet laugh, still waiting for you as she rest both her arms on the lining that made your table's wall separator.

After making yourself comfortable sitting on your swivel chair, you finally look up to Karina; a teasing smile on your lips when you saw your friend's ticking patience.

She exhaled air, "So, what happened? We got so worried when we didn't saw you last night, even you're phone is off-" You quietly showed her your dead phone in which she just nodded. "Ryujin even thought someone kidnapped you" Well... that's not completely wrong, isn't it?

"I'm still alive and kicking as you can see, rin. And, I'm sorry about my lines not being open. I know you two are worried. Don't worry, this will never happen again."

"Fine... so what happened? Did you finally lost your virginity?"

"No"

"What?"

And so you tell the things that happened this morning, leaving all the details about the stunt you and jay pulled last night.

"So, you met this guy who brought you to a hotel room upstairs, blacked out and then that's it? Are you sure he didn't do something to you?" Karina asked, worried glazed over her voice.

You nodded before answering 'yeah', "I still have my clothes on and I don't feel anything wrong with my body."

"Well, that's good. I'm relieved nothing bad happened to you." She sighed, "So, what's the plan?"

You were about to say something when Ryujin ran inside hugging you, "Y/n! What happened? Are you alright?" Her hug was suffocating. This made you tap her, "Tigh—t!" She immediately pulled away whispering a soft 'sorry'.

"I'm alright, no need to worry, ryu."

"Okay, but that's not the only reason why I ran here. I heard that..." The girl signals for her hands to make you and karina scoot closer. "I heard that the chairman's son was here today and that he'll manage the company from now on." Ryujin whispered making Karina nod.

"Nothing new? I just heard about that in the elevator on my way here"

"That's cheating—"

"Everyone to the assembly hall, now!" One of the seniors announced after knocking on the glass, not even bothering to make his whole body go inside the door.

"What is it now?" Karina whispered but started walking towards the elevator otherwise. "Maybe we'll know whether the gossip about chairman park's son is true or not." You shrugged.

You, together with the other employees arrived at the hall not long after to finally take your respective seats. It was full and all the other high end members of the board were there too. "Something's big is coming" Ryujin whispered on your side that made you nod as you waited for the program to start.

"President Park Jongseong will now start his inauguration speech" Said the speaker as the crowd erupted in applauses as two young men entered the venue from the side before walking towards the stage. "President? Woah. He's our new boss." Karina whispered but you didn't care. Your eyes pinned on the man who was now in front of the center podium.

That's...

"Thank you for your warm welcome—" You can't hear what he's saying but you didn't remove your gaze at him. He's jay, right? The one who— wait. Is he looking over here?

You immediately lowkey covered your face and looked down when you realized he did. You're hoping he didn't see you at all. Hell, you're a few meters away from the stage. You're even sitting at the very end row of the chairs. There's no way he saw you.

Shit. You cursed realizing the weight of your actions. You just made your new boss finger you last night. The worst of it is that you even blacked out in front of him. You're fucked, Sim Y/n. You are fucked!

The speech address finished in line without fail or disturbance. Jay didn't even look over your way again much to your relief. After the speech was finished, the new president thanked the board members and immediately left saying he still had things to prepare for and that's the last thing you see 'Jay' today. It was as if nothing happened between the two of you and that he forgot about your existence.

After the event, things got back to normal. Aside from him being the sole topic of your office mate's conversation, nothing new reminds you about the man who does you good that turns out to be your new boss. That's why you're convinced that things finally ended. Well, that's what you thought.

"Y/n, are you sure you don't need us to wait for you?" Ryujin asked standing behind your chair, karina on the side. "No, really. I'm fine. Another slide and I'll finish this presentation then I'll go home. Don't let me take your time to relax." You replied smiling at them. They were convinced and so they finally left you.

It's early in the evening and you bet you're the last person on the floor. Not that you despised it. The presentation was due next week but you have the energy to finish it and so you did. You just wanted to spare yourself another workload next week.

After printing the last page, you decided to call it a day. You were about to ride the elevator when someone called you from behind. You look over your shoulder before turning around and finally met by an unknown guy explaining the unfamiliar voice that called you just now.

"Yes? Can I help you?" You politely asked, "One of the board members asked for you."

Board member? Me? That's weird. You thought you were the only person left.

"I understand, Mister...?"

"Kim. Kim Sunoo." He answered, smiling before starting to walk to show you the way.

"Sorry, I just don't recall seeing you around here." You explained looking at the back of his head. You heard Sunoo chuckled, "Well, we're new here, Ms. Sim."

We? But your confusion was resolved when you heard someone knocking but saw it was Sunoo. "Park sajang, miss sim is here."

Wait, park sajang? Your eyes got wide before looking at sunoo who just signal for you to come inside. Now, that you took a good look at him, you realize that sunoo's the same man you saw earlier at the assembly hall. The one who stands behind Jay, the chief secretary of this company.

"Miss Sim..." You woke up in daze when you heard his voice again. You didn't even realize that sunoo finally opened the door for you. And after contemplating things, you finally took a step inside.

The room was quite dark but well lit with the warm lights shining on the side. The wide glass window overseeing the city lights while a man, you knew was Jay, had his back turned to you while sitting on his table.

No one talked. The silence was suffocating at least, for you. Time finally came where you can't take it anymore and finally braved yourself to say something.

"You called for me, President Park?" You asked trying your best not to sound nervous.

The man stopped on whatever he was doing before finally facing you still sitting on his table with a folder on his hand.

"Sunoo" He called.

"Yes, Mr. Park?" Sunoo immediately answered from the other side of the door. I thought he left.

"I can take it from here, you can leave." You heard a 'yes, sir' before hearing the sound of steps finally fading.

"How are you feeling, Ms. Sim?"

You didn't look at him straight, just keeping your eyes on the floor. You heard him chuckled in low tone. That's sexy. "Now, where is that feisty woman i met last night, hmm kitten?"

"What?" You heard him right. You knew what he meant but your mind is currently blanked.

What's going to happen to you now? Will you get fired? Will you be homeless?

"Ms. Sim..." He called again making you look at him. He started walking towards you. You wanted to run or hide, whatever it is but you felt your body froze. Jay is now a few steps away from you. No suit in sight, just his white simple polo partnered with black slacks, two buttons unbuttoned causing his tan chest showing a little bit to tease. His sleeves were neatly folded up to his elbow wearing simple black bracelet while a glass adorned his eyes surely to read the files earlier. He looks so neat, elegant and... fucking sexy that you can't help but think how he'll look if you he decided to defile—

NO! What the heck are you thinking, Y/n?!

"I'm asking how you feel about last night..." Jay suddenly pulled you closer by your waist making you gasped, your hands automatically touching his shoulder and back for support. "How will you feel about picking up what you started last night?" Jay whispered in your ears and you swear you shivered, goosebumbs spreading on your skin. The only thing running on your mind is how you love to kiss him.

Oh fuck it! You thought before clashing your lips with him.

Jay greeted you with the same desire, playing with your tongue as both of you moan in pleasure.

"This is the office, Mr. Park." You whispered in between kisses. "I know," He replied leaving marks on your neck, "I just can't help it knowing I might lose you again."

"You won't. I promise."

Jay then looked straight in your eyes before kissing your forehead. "Let's get out of here."

Things happened so fast that you didn't even realize how the two of you got down towards the parking lot and into Jay's car. He immediately started the engine before driving away. Jay drove over the hills away from the traffic that explains why the drive felt like a blink of an eye.

You just saw yourself looking at Jay as he parked inside a huge house with an automatic gate that opened itself when his car stopped in front of it.

"Wait here" Your brain didn't have enough time to register his words when Jay jogged towards your side of door, opened it and started picking you up like a newly wedded bride.

"What—! Sir, I can walk."

"Sorry, can't help it" He whispered even though it's evident in his voice that he's not really sorry for the stunt. "And, that's Jay to you. We're not in the office anymore, Y/N."

How did he know your name? Oh, he's your new boss. It's not surprising if he did know basic information about you who's one of his employee. And with that, you simply nodded as Jay ascended the stairs and into a room. He gently puts you to bed as he connects his lips with yours. "Can't run now, kitten."

"I don't have the plan anyway" You replied, removing his polo, yours being the next one to join the pile of clothing on the floor. Jay started kissing your neck on the way to your chest where his skilled hands remove your brassiere in one swift move. He then continued his ventures southward kissing your stomach before removing your office skirt together with your lacey panties completely.

He spread your legs making you shiver in pleasure. Just the thoughts of the things he'll do to you is making you turned on, what more if he finally does it.

"Relax, kitten." He said before diving through your folds earning a moan from you. "J-jay! Ugh!" Fuck, he's eating you so good that your hands can't help but tugged his hair. Your moans got louder when his tongue focused on your clit before adding two fingers on your hole practically eating and fingering you like there's no tomorrow.

He can feel that you're close even if you won't say it or... don't have the ability to say it. You were far up to the stars and he will happily take you there. And just like what you want, a knot is slowly building in your stomach, the pleasure was so good that you finally started to let go following with moans.

Jay hummed on your pussy, riding your pleasure like a good man that he is. Keeping his pace unturned as it sends waves of pleasure throughout your whole body making you breathless.

You felt jay checking on you, ensuring you're comfortable enough as if he didn't just made you lose your mind using only his mouth and fingers a few minutes ago. "You okay? I'll do it now" He asked, innocently. You simply nod, still catching your breath that the man took away.

"Shut up... and, just do me" The man chuckled kissing your lips then pulling away to remove his belt and pants to finally show his hardness.

You propped up through your elbows, "Are you sure that'll fit?" Jay laughed at your worried yet amazed face. "So cute!" He crawled on top of you, "Don't worry, I'll make it less painful, love." You felt him spreading your legs further using his, and he felt how you tensed causing him to kiss you again.

Jay used his hand to run his cock up and down spreading your wetness and hitting your clit on the process. The stunt made you relax that he used to his advantage.

He suddenly thrust, fully. "Fucking shit! You-you're so big, Jay" You cursed feeling the pain on your lower body causing you to push yourself up.

Jay shivered on what you said, hugging your body trying not to fuck you mindlessly. "C-lose... shit, you're so tight" He can feel your hotness. It's making him lose his mind. This is better than heaven itself. You are better than life can offer to him.

"You can move now..." And, he did. No need to tell him twice. He started experimental thrust before picking up his pace when he felt you finally feeling it as your moans became louder, breaths becoming deeper and words becoming more lewd.

"Ugh! Shit, Jay. Yes! There!" You screamed scratching his back voluntarily spreading your legs to make him thrust deeper.

"I'm gonna... J-jay..." You whispered to him. Slapping of skin, moans and grunts filled the room. You were practically screaming all the pleasures, eyes shut tight.

"Cum inside. It's fine."

Jay didn't answer but the way his dick twitched inside let you know he understands. "Cum with me, love" He groaned, hastening his thrust, with one last curse both of you cum together painting your inside with thick white.

Both of you didn't move, still chasing your breaths, trying to recover from the waves of pleasure that's still running through your bodies.

"Don't move..." You whispered on his ears. You felt him kissed your cheeks, "So, this is your newfound kink. You want me to breed you?"

"Will you?"

"Don't mind me if I do." You both laughed, "I need to clean you though." And, you let him. Jay slowly pulled away from your hole making you gasped. You immediately felt the warm and thick cum sliding through your inner thighs and into the bed.

He wear his boxer again before disappearing to one of the room that you deemed as the bathroom. You took the time to slowly sit up looking at the evidence of your purity, and there it is the red stain that looks kind of prideful in your opinion.

When jay came again, he got some towels and a basin on his hands. "What? Can't believe that you just lost your virginity to me?"

"Yes, and no. I don't regret it at all. It's just that... that you're my boss." You replied, shyness taking toll on your system that you tried to hide by laying down and closing your eyes again.

The next thing you felt is a warm towels that jay is using to clean your body, "You alright?"

It feels so nice that you just answered with a hum.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"What are we?"

You felt the towel stopped as if he was also thinking but then it continues, "Depends om what you want. Just remember that I like you"

You opened your eyes to look at him, "Like me... you mean?" He nodded, "But, how? I mean, we just met yesterday night."

"Maybe to you. I know you since the first time I worked at the company. We're both an intern that time. Dad asked me to go work by disguise to let me learn about the company" Jay explained slowly and when your brain process his words, you unconsciously sit up making you hiss and making jay groaned, uttering a simple 'careful'.

"Wait so you're jongseong? The jongseong that we don't even know the last name since you don't have an ID and you wont tell us."

He chuckled before nodding, "There even a time that you doubted me whether I truly worked at the company before." Jay then helped you wear one of his clothes to make you further comfy.

"You just vanished, I thought you're not real."

"Dad made me managed the business overseas. It took me three years to come back again. Last night, I can't believe I'll see you again just a day after I came back. You didn't chang, except that you became more beautiful, but other than that, you're still the woman that I admired. You danced truly enjoying yourself not for the other people and that's when I realized that you're the same person I want to see." Oh, so his the same person that observing me from the second floor yesterday. Jay cleaned himself then lay beside me, he covered both our bodies in the duvet before pulling me closer. I turned around to face him, I want to see him closer.

"I was planning to surprise you at work the next day, not as the president though." He continued, tucking some of my stubborn hair. "But then, imagine the shocked my body went through when you told me to take you. Seriously, my mind went blank. I can't... I am relieved that you walk to me and not another men."

"Whatever it is. Just remember that I like you, and I wanted to know more about this feelings. We can take it slow, I can wait. Just let me have the chance to prove myself to you" You smiled, you can feel that he's genuine and trying to walk on eggshells around you trying not to scare you.

You put your hands on his nape, closing your eyes. "Okay, let's do that."

#enhypen #enhypen smut #lee heeseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #enhypen ff #enhypen x reader #enhypen au #adiwrites

979 notes · View notes

silverstonesainz · 7 months

Text

insatiable

─── the one where carlos can't seem to get enough frat!carlos x reader 2.6k words 18+, minors dni (warnings under the cut)

d rambles. . . once again. i have lost the plot. i got the word insatiable and this is where we ended up. hope u guys like it, and sorry it took so long.

warning(s). . . dry humping & a bit of titties. this is pretty tamed for what it could be

carlos is annoying. he might be across the room, but somehow he still manages to set your every nerve on fire. and the worst part of all this is that you can’t be annoyed.

how can you be annoyed that he’s basically chest to chest with some girl when you’re wrapped up in someone else. mark, you think is his name. you aren’t even sure. he yelled it in your ear when he was chatting you up but if you were being honest, you only indulged because you wanted to prove a point: you can play his game too.

“do you want another drink?” mark— god you hope his name is mark— asks, thumb rubbing your side.

you feign a sweet smile, shaking your head. “no i’m good. i have to head home soon anyways.”

the boy chuckles, “you can always spend the night… i do have a room here.”

you laugh, maybe a little too hard from the way the boy’s face contorts to one of embarrassment. you shake your head, patting his chest as you slyly pull yourself from his hold. you set your empty solo cup on the messy bar top before turning to him, “i’d rather be caught dead than to sleep at a frat house.”

mark nods, sipping his drink. the house is quiet, the kickback dwindling down as people begin to turn in. lando continues to play his mix, the led lights paint the room different colors, and the party seems to continue even if people were attached to the ends of the room in conversation or being led upstairs. you want to turn in, god your eyes burn with exhaustion, but your pride and ego coax you to stay. you just want to see if carlos would bring the girl up to his room.

he has every right to. why wouldn’t he do it? she’s pretty and he’s… he’s not yours.

that’s a point you both made the morning after a silly hook-up. just sex, nothing more. it’s why you leave after all is said and done, why you don’t take him up for coffee, or even sit with him in the library to study. it’s just sex, nothing more.

you try to remind yourself that as you watch carlos lean down to say something in the girl’s ear, watch as the girl laughs a little too loudly. you roll your eyes. he’s not even that funny.

“you plan on leaving anytime soon?” your head snaps back towards the boy, shaking your head to answer his question. “well maybe i can entertain you elsewhere while you’re here.”

before you can answer, you feel an arm sling over your shoulder. you look up to find alex, who doesn’t pay you any mind and directs his attention to the boy in front of you.

“george is looking for ya matt.” oh… it’s matt. “upstairs.”

the boy stares up at the older brother, nodding. “uh.. yeah right. i’ll see you around.” he says to you. you smile curtly, watching as the boy scurries away and disappears up the stairs.

alex pulls his hand from your shoulder, chuckling softly, “now tell me why you were chatting up the pledges. you know you’re way out of their league.”

“just bored.” you shrug, arms crossed over your chest. you take a peek behind alex’s tall frame, frowning to find that carlos and the girl has disappeared. you huff a sigh, “i’m gonna go. i have an early morning.”

alex nods, “i’ll walk you out.”

you do your rounds, say goodbye to friends and other familiar faces. alex follows you, nearly to the door, before he’s whisked to the mystery that goes on upstairs. you don’t mind though, making your way out the door and shutting it behind you. you stuff your hands in your pockets as you make your way to your car.

“you know, it’s a bit rude not to say bye before you leave.”

you turn around, taking a few steps backwards before coming to a stop. you stand at the end of the walkway, watching as carlos messes with his hair as he makes his way down to you. you roll your eyes, repositioning your arms to cross your chest. “you seemed a bit… occupied.”

he chuckles at the way you say it, like it’s sour on your tongue. “celosa?”

“no.” you hum, pulling out your phone to order an uber. “so where is your new friend?”

carlos reaches out to you, hand swiping your phone from your grasp before taking a peek at your screen. “she’s not my friend.”

“so girlfriend then?” he shakes his head. “fuck buddies?” he scowls.

“she’s no one. why are you ordering an uber, i can just drive you home.”

“don’t you live here?” “and?”

you bite down on your lip. on the one hand, you’d be saving a bit of cash and yourself an awkward car ride home at two in the morning. but on the other hand, you’re still annoyed with carlos. but the boy doesn’t give you the chance to ponder your options, pulling out his car keys from his back pocket and clicking the dark blue ferrari unlocked. it’s parked a couple cars ahead of the driveway, between alex george’s own. carlos hand you your phone back with a soft c’mon. you inhale sharply, taking the phone from his grasp and stuff it back into your jacket pocket.

he opens the passenger door for you, shuts it, before running over to his side and turning on his car. the car ride was… well it wasn’t comfortable. you didn’t intend on picking up a conversation with your— with him— the image of him and that girl still fresh in your mind. truth be told, you’re a little more frustrated with yourself than you are with him, because you know what being with carlos means: it means not really being with him at all. it means being with him when he’s in the mood to be with you. and you can lie to yourself and say that it’s fine, that you can live that arrangement. and maybe in the beginning you could but now you find yourself slipping. drowning.

but carlos doesn’t like the quiet tonight.

“so you and matt?”

you can’t help but roll your eyes. “what about it?”

“when did that happen?” “what’s it matter to you?”

carlos’s head snaps in your direction for the briefest of moments. you see him in your peripheral, the way his head flicks up and down in the short second he stares at you before returning his gaze to the road. “just a question.”

he makes a turn towards your apartment, and you’d never been so relieved to see home. but then he stops. carlos parks against the curb and turns off his lights. you scowl, fingers curling into your palm. “carlos.”

“why are you upset?” “i’m not.”

he raises his brow at you, and your narrow your eyes at him. “i know you. you are.”

“okay and if i am?” you snap. “it doesn’t matter.”

he scoffs, “of course it matters.”

you almost let him fool you. almost believe that he cares more than he lets on. almost.

you huff an annoyed breath, zipping your jacket all the way. “i’m gonna walk.”

“oh for fucks sake,” he leans over you, pulls the cracked open door and shuts it. “you’re not being fair.”

“carlos i want to go home.”

you glare at him. the anger bubbles in your chest when you clock the calm expression on his face, his wide brown eyes scanning your features before his hand comes up to rub his face. he says your name so softly, so gently, says it in a way you long to hear it forever.

“we were just talking.” he’s referring to the girl. your glare falls, gaze moving to the denim that hugs your thighs. “ai mi bichito, its wasn’t anything.”

“it never is.”

“because it’s not.” carlos tucks his index finger under your chin, pulls your eyes back to him. “don’t be upset with me bug.” he leans in, his cologne filling your senses as you he presses his lips to your cheek. “okay?” another kiss, then again to your jaw. “please?”

the butterflies come alive in your stomach, makes you nervous as carlos continues to move along your jaw and down to your neck. he readjusts his hand, his fingers now combing through the hair on the side of your head to hold you closer to him. he hums your name against your skin before he places another wet kiss on your neck. another plea to stop being upset as he pulls the silver zipper down your jacket and popping it open.

he pulls away, leaving you high and empty. you inhale, suddenly remembering to breathe. carlos’s thumb strokes your cheek, the pad of his thumb rough against your skin, while his wide eyes plead for some sort of forgiveness. and you should walk home. thank him for the ride and walk away.

but instead you close the gap, lips crashing against his. the kiss is hot, feverish, needy. it’s teeth clashing while hungry hands pull the other closer than allowed. his fingers weave themselves into your hair while yours are desperately grabbing at the back of his head. you moan softly as carlos bites down on your bottom lip, tongue slipping into your mouth. warm, wet, bold as it dances along with yours.

“too far.” he breaks the kiss to pull you over the middle and onto his lap. his lips are quick to reattach themselves back on your neck, hands pushing your jacket down your shoulders and off your arms, leaving you in a black cotton tank-top.

you’re sure that you’ll have a reminder of your weakness later, but it was too good to stop. you enjoyed the grazing of his teeth, the way he pulls away to lick along your skin before sucking again. you hum, grounding your hips into his. carlos hisses, hands moving to grip your hips to a halt.

“don’t start something you can’t finish baby.”

you smirk, “you doubt me?”

a pause. just a beat of silence before he laughs, shaking his head, “never.”

you smile, dipping your head to meet his lips. your hands cup his cheeks as you kiss him deeply. he releases your hips, allowing your to rock against him. he grows hard beneath you, hear him grunt as you speed up the motion. he detaches his lips from yours, moving to your collarbones. you feel his fingers dance along the skin of your shoulders, pulling the flimsy straps of your top and bra down. he pulls and pulls and his lips chase the neck line of your shirt until your breast spill out. the cold air of his ferrari sends a shiver up your spine, hardens your nipples.

carlos bites down on his lip, eyes bright as he stares at your chest. “pretty tits.”

you bite the inside of your cheek, watching expectantly as he beings to squeeze them in his hands. he massages, kneads, before pulling one into his mouth. he looks up at you while you feel his mouth around you. his tongue traces circles lightly around your bud, flicking it up and down before sucking. his opposite hand pays equal attention to your other tit, pulling and kneading, fingers rubbing your nipple before pinching lightly.

you throw your head back, moving your hips faster, desperate to chase a kind of pleasure you’re not even sure you can achieve. your legs were beginning to ache and your jeans were beginning to hurt. but the pleasure, his fucking mouth, outweighs the discomfort.

he bites down on your nipple, make you help. he chuckles against you, kissing your breast before switching to the other one. sucks and sucks, before he pulls away and kisses along the supple skin. he sucks, leaves marks that would surely bruise within the hour. you look back down, watch him with his eyes squeezed shut as he marks your delicate skin.

“need you” he mumbles. “want you.”

he releases you, leans back to watch you move against him as he reaches down to pull his shirt over his head. and in the midst of it all, you see it. the purple bruise below his collarbone. a hickey, one you know you didn’t leave for him. its a shot to your ego, makes you uncomfortable in the moment and sucks all the fun you were just having.

“i-“ you choke up on your words, swallow tightly as you clear your throat, “i can’t.”

carlos pulls his shirt off, brows furrowed. “what’s wrong?”

you pull the straps of your bra and top back onto your shoulders, reaching over for your jacket. “nothing. nothing just… i can’t. not in your car.”

carlos watches you pull yourself together on his lap, pulling your jacket back onto your shoulders. he looks confused, stares as he tries to guess why your mood has suddenly shifted. you look back up at him, the stupid thing on his chest staring right back at you. you smile thinly, lips pressed together tightly.

“well can i come up?”

you shake your head, “early morning. but next time… i’ll ah… i’ll make it up to you.”

against better judgement, against the voices screaming in your head to run, you lean down to press a soft kiss against his lips. you try to leave things open, to give him a bit of relief that everything was okay even if it really isn’t. and maybe even to as a way to ensure that you could still return to him when your feelings are no longer hurt.

how fucking pathetic.

carlos holds onto the back of your head to kiss you for a moment longer than you intend. then he releases you. “let me just drive you.”

“it’s fine. i cant walk, it isn’t far.”

“i’m not gonna let you walk alone at almost 3AM. if you won’t let me drive you, then i’ll walk with you.”

you sigh, nodding as you breathe a reluctant okay fine. you open the driver door, climbing off his lap and out of the car. cold air kisses your warm skin as you stand there, waiting for carlos to climb out of the car. you both walk the short distance to front door of your complex. you hum, digging for the keys in your pocket before looking up at him.

“thank you for the ride.”

carlos nods, reaching up to tuck a hair behind your hear. “of course… so when am i gonna see you again.”

his phone rings before you can answer. he picks it up, and you catch a glimpse of the screen before he pulls it towards him. mindy. mindy, at three in the fucking morning.

carlos presses on the power button, ending the call before looking back up at you. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

you chuckle dryly, shrugging, “busy tomorrow.”

“okay so thursday?”

“i dunno.”

“friday?”

you laugh, shaking your head. “god, you’re insatiable.”

he smiles, its wide. so wide you see the small dimples above his upper lip, so wide his cheeks round out and eyes squint ever so slightly. “only when it comes to you.”

you rock on your feet. heel to toe. heel to toe. you almost forget. the girl. the hickey. mindy. he smiles, says shit like that and you almost forget that he’s not yours.

but he isn’t that girl’s. he’s not mindy’s. he’s not anyone else’s.

and maybe you could live with that for just a little longer before it crushes you.

“i’ll call you.” you reassure him. stupidly reassure him.

he nods, leaning down to press a soft kiss on your lips. “okay. text when you get in.” you nod, kissing him once more and he smiles. “goodnight mi bichito.”

you smile, allow the flutter in your stomach to warm you up and wrap up your wounded ego. “goodnight carlos.”

come to the house party!!

#🔖 house party #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sainz blurb #frat carlos

308 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 1 year

Text

hey it's nanowrimo. i have tips bc i've done it about 34 times.

Don't edit. Ever. Stop it. If you just decide to start a new project half thru this one with all new characters, no problem. pick up and keep writing as if you'd already written the first half of that.

"but i spelled it wrong" whatever. "but the grammar" whatever. make it exist first. no time for sense. think like you're working on a typewriter. no backspace. only forward go.

Don't re-read further than a paragraph or two backwards. "did i mention the gun before?" listen - it doesn't matter. if you need there to be a gun there, the gun is there. put it back in once you finish the book.

"i forgot the specifics of X thing i already wrote" whatever. change it, make a note/comment to figure it out later, and just write what makes sense for the moment. "no raquel it's legit the characters name and origin" idc that character is now reborn as Claudius from Elsewhere. it's fine.

only you see your mistakes. nobody else knows. one of the ways writing and dance overlap - only you know the choreography. nobody else will know if you miss a step, so just keep dancing and pretend you meant to do it like that.

it's an illusion that you need to write linearly - from point A to point B to point C. Nah; that's just timeline propaganda. I've written a LOT of books out of order and just reordered them once i've finished. if you have a scene you'd LOVE to write but can't get there yet because of plot, just fuckin write the scene. I've always found its easier to establish "point F" "point J" and "Point A" and then wiggle my way between those scenes.

write what you WANT to write. 230 pages of smut? of well-researched discussion on bread? whatever. the point is to strengthen muscles however you can.

if you miss a day, a week, whatever. not the end of the world. we all have dry days. also time is a myth so u can do this challenge whenever u want.

as soon as you try to write for a specific audience, you kill your voice. you are writing for yourself. stop thinking about how people will take ur book. it don't matter. what matter is u, enjoying writing. i luv u.

play to your strengths. i have characters talk so much because i don't know how to write a plot if it kills me but i'm really good at dialogue so.

i love a flight of fancy. write a poem in there. shift tactics and write in code. keep it fun for yourself.

see what happens if you shift something major about ur main characters - gender, wealth, superpowers. or if you change point-of-view. or if you kill everyone in a big explosion. do NOT edit anything before this or after it. often these little weird one-off exercises teach me what interests me about what i'm working on. it is never what i thought. plus it is a fun way to add like 1k words.

stretch.

it's for fun and for practice. stop doing that project if it's giving you anxiety. once my nano was literally 50k words of half-started stories. just things i tried and tried and tried and wasn't able to flesh out. oops. but i am now 50k words of a better writer.

add dragons?

read books/listen to books on tape/etc. people often make the mistake of "buckling down" to just write. you need inspiration. you need to like. fill up on words. you need to remember how it feels to lose yourself in a story.

i don't have the time or space to really talk about this in this post but a lot of creative people turn to drugs/alcohol because it can help you be more creative. this is harmful, and walking a blade that only cuts deep. if you notice you and your loved ones are turning more to substances, please know i love you and i hope you are able to get help soon. i feel like this almost never gets mentioned because it's kind of a hazy underbelly to art. you are always more important than the work.

on that note. drink your fukin. water.

don't talk about a story until you've finished it. once you tell the story, it exists already, and isn't about discovery. i usually have a very canned "haha we'll see" response.

grapes :) tasty snack.

i love you be free.

#edit: the command not to talk about it is from personal experience!#i have heard Otherwise in the tags so i will edit to say:#if you've noticed that you tend to like Talk A Lot about ur piece but never WRITE it -#consider voice-to-text #also #u might be like me and ... need to figure it out on the PAGE and not OUT LOUD #i am often an auditory processor so i wont tell people specifics but i'll be like #huh. so i have a character who is in love .... and they don't know it #and my friend will be like ''oh they should kiss' and meanwhile #somehow #saying it out loud im like #yeah thank u ur right the dress SHOULD be purple that's what the problem has been <3 #idk!!! it's up to you!!! my suggestion is to say LESS until you know for a FACT that saying MORE works better for you #-- always better to slowly unspool in ur exploration of that #than to accidentally talk too much and get Bored Of Project #idk idk idk #i have adhd so every book surprises me bc im like #wait where did any of this even COME FROM #and whatever little gremlin in my brain that writes is like :)#''heyyy girlie.......''#WHICH IS A LONG WAY TO SAY:#i didn't know about Not Talking About It as an option until i'd ruined a few projects!!#but there are people who need to do the other thing!!! and i love us both!!!!#wow brains are so funny!!!!

2K notes · View notes

cambion-companion · 7 months

Note

Hey, so I have an idea for a Raphael prompt

Okay, so u know players who have a tendency to hoard items like scrolls, potions, and all this other good stuff because they "might need it later" but never use it? I'd like to see how raphael, A creature of law and order, would react to tav having to dig through their pack full of items to find something specific in the mess, but like halfway through they give up and just upend the pack. And Raph is just there, baffled, disgusted, but also marginally impressed because how. How can one person have so. Much. Stuff. Useful stuff they don't use.

i thought it'd be funny but anyway, have a good day!

YES absolutely delightful prompt, thank you friend :)

Also Tav has intelligence of 8 in this.

"I know it's in here somewhere." Tav sighed in exasperation, arm-deep in their bag of holding, feeling all the many bits and bobs they'd hoarded thru the months. "I just have to...aha!" Tav triumphantly withdrew their hand only to find they'd snagged a rather fetid piece of jerky. "Oh...no...no that's not it."

Raphael gave them a deadpan stare, lip curling slightly at the sight of the long-expired strip of meat. Tav had been trying to find a quill for the past several minutes, he shifted his weight onto one foot, placing a fist on his hip. "Perhaps you'd allow me to-"

"No, no!" Tav was now more determined than ever to scrounge up a writing utensil, they were now almost up to their armpit in their enchanted bag. "Ah...ewww! Astarion! What the hell is this?"

Watching from several paces away, Astarion shrugged. "I thought I might get peckish later."

"Disgusting." Tav rolled their eyes and upended the bag, giving it a good shake as a great many items began falling out onto the floor of Raphael's den.

The devil watched with mild annoyance and no small amount of exasperation, he was sincerely beginning to reconsider his decisions. "Unless you wish for all of this...chaos to be incinerated, desist immediately."

Tav was already done dumping the many things they'd looted in a haphazard pile and was rifling through the contents, looking still for a functional quill.

A spark of flame ignited at the tip of Raphael's fingers as he began to raise his hand to make good on his threat. Then his eyes caught on something shining amongst the numerous pieces of junk. "That ring there, another piece of waste I assume?"

Tav followed where he pointed and picked up the item in question, looking it over. "Hmm, yeah. I dunno...haven't bothered to have it inspected. Interested?"

"Not especially." Raphael lied smoothly, looking elsewhere for a moment before returning his attention to Tav. "However, I am in a generous mood. What would you sell it for?"

Tav thought hard, an astounding feat by Raphael's estimations. "Four hundred gold."

"That's quite steep for such a trinket." Raphael frowned at the impetuous creature. "However, I am quite fond of rubies. I'll give you two hundred."

"Two hundred and fifty."

"Done."

The ring was passed to Raphael and he pocketed it with a slight smile. A ring of three wishes would come quite in handy.

"Now, clean up this mess." Raphael waved his hand imperiously over the pile Tav had returned rifling through. "Before I lose my patience."

#raphael bg3 #raphael x tav #raphael baldur's gate 3 #bg3 drabble #fanfic

249 notes · View notes

h0ney-mochi · 1 year

Note

okay so first off, your stories are so great?? LIKE SUB SCARA TOO. *tucks hair behind ear and blinks cutely* I love your blog sm?? diehard submissive genshin boys right here ✌️

But if you want smthn other than smut, thennn... how about a really touchy reader going away for a good month for some sort of work related occasion and how the genshin guys would feel about being away from the reader's touch for so long?

if you can, mind if you include Xiao, too? 🥺 any other guy is fine too

That's all, have a good one, you cool person on tumblr ✨️

So used to your touch, but you've got work!

Characters: Scaramouche, Xiao x reader (separate)

SFW CONTENT

Summary: they're so used to your touches — hugs, kisses, hand holding — all of it. How would they feel if you're gone to do work and it's been a month without your loving touch?

A/n: THANK U SMM FOR UR KIND WORDS AAHHH— I just think putting a brat mf into his place is nice *smile* Anyways, thank u for ur ask <33 This was nice to write :] I'm sorry if it sort of sucks aahh I haven't written anything sfw for so long lol- I wanted to put in another character, but I got a little busy

Xiao

Upon hearing that you'll be gone for a month, he allowed you to give him a long hug. Just so it could be burned into his memory for a while. Xiao's a busy man as well, needs to protect the citizens at dead of night. Yet he doesn't hesitate to come when you call him for a cuddle session. Spitting words of 'no respect for my work' as he doesn't let go of you while you play with his hair.

He's still busy when you're gone. But his mind is elsewhere when he fights. He knows you won't call for him since you're gone for work. Yet he hopes he'll hear you.

When he gets a little free time, Xiao goes to the room you were staying at while you were here. He remembers how whenever you called for him, you were always in the same spot, ready to give him your love! As much as he wants to say you're getting in the way of his work, you really aren't. You're a breath of fresh air and you're there to care for him.

Xiao wasn't the one for a lot of physical contact, but when you came along, he looks forward to it all the time. And now he's waiting for you to come back.

It's been a month. He's still fighting and checking in on your room. Sometimes he holds his own hands, even if it's embarrassing for him, just so he could remember how yours felt in his. How you peppered his face with kisses once you had finished cleaning up some wounds he got from some fights. Xiao knows you're busy. Is that how you feel when he's gone? Oh how he couldn't wait to go in your room and see the lights on.

Scaramouche

First few weeks he's relieved to be free of your constant intruding. Relieved, he says. In fact, he's getting more upset, worried? Scara wouldn't admit that he misses you. He misses you a lot

Yeah, you did inform him that you'll be gone for a month with a nervous smile and he had just shook his head, saying a simple okay. He didn't expect it to be so boring and lonely.

Whenever Scaramouche comes home, you're already running around the corner to greet him with kisses. When he's just making something in the kitchen, you appear, setting your head on his shoulder, hands around his waist. Or those random touches whenever he's just sitting on the couch, watching boring news while working.

Yeah, he missed it alright. That's why he spends more time at work, just so he wouldn't have to go to an empty house. At some point he's wondering if you just left him, not thinking of coming back. Just a few days and it'll be a month without you.

Even if it felt like more than a month. Scaramouche can only imagine your touch now. He's deep in his thoughts and waits for you to return. He just wants you back. See your stupid smile whenever he speaks about his dumb coworkers. He would never admit he misses you or your touch. He often sits in silence and wonders, will the door open and your cheery voice come through?

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #xiao x you #adeptus xiao x reader #xiao x reader #xiao fluff #xiao x reader fluff #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche fluff #☆°• ☆ writings

987 notes · View notes

snickerdoodlles · 17 days

Note

I was gonna ask you for ☕☕☕ on Kim characterisations but I know that could put you at risk of assassination 💀 so free choice! Any ☕ on anything you need to get off your chest - I love u

😂 it is a choose violence game, let's play with fire 🔥 three Kim characterizations i don't much care for:

writing Kim as really old

like. hmmmm. i feel like a lot of fic out there is just really bad at characterizing young 20 yos, there are a lot of stories that write Kim's vibes like he's 38 yo or something. it's. bizarre. 21/22 yo is still so young. there's still so much uncertainty at that age and so much self-discovery to come. i've complained about this before so i don't want to just rehash that but. yeesh. some people really kinda suck at writing "kid in college" aged characters.

not letting Kim be playful

honestly, this one kinda follows on the previous point? there's a very annoying trend of writing ~older~ characters as only ever very serious. and like, aside from the irritation at the way people are really bad at early 20s vibes, people never outgrow playfulness. in canon, i'm pointing to Porsche trapping Kinn under the sheets and farting or them huffing their morning breaths in each other's faces (i love u canon ❤). but people still do ridiculous shit at 40/50/60/70/80/ALL THE AGES too. 40yo sisters who greet each other by punching the other in the boob. the 60yo neighbor who tells me my shoelaces are untied every time he sees me in sandals. the 50yo uncle who flicks popcorn in the mouths of anyone who falls asleep during movie night. there's no age limit to this sort of thing!

but while some of the ultra seriousness seems to be a weird age thing, it's like people also missed that Kim is playful? he's very intense when he's in mafia business mode and he's a nightmare to the guards (❤), but he plays along with Khun. he teases Chay. he has a good rapport with other university students. he can be more lowkey playful than others, but Kim's not made of stone, he has his fun too.

Wik being a burden on Kim

this one starts running into differences in headcanon-- like personally, i'm looking for fics where Wik is Kim's home. i've cried about this elsewhere so i'll keep it short, but Wik is the life Kim poured blood, sweat, and tears into to build up brick by brick. Wik is the life Kim wants, it's the parts of him he thinks are the best of him. i actually make the MC of the ep4 university one of Kim's best friends (i call him Green), and one of my favorite headcanons i've come up with for them is that everyone thinks Green twists Kim's arm into doing outreach events, but actually Green is Kim's connection to university news because he loves doing them but never knows who to ask. Kim desperately wants to be a source of good inspiration to others and have purpose outside of violence, and Wik is his way of doing that. Wik is not a burden on Kim (in fact, i'd argue Kim all but said he is a burden on Wik, but i digress).

so, that's my personal preference for Kim's relationship with Wik, but obviously not everyone's going to have the same characterization and that's cool. where i start to get annoyed is when people write him as very...hmm. dismissive? of it. or otherwise seems like he doesn't like any aspect of it. i straight up back click on any fic that has Kim fuck up the name of some popular musician. this is not a specific call out, but for example-- i remember reading something where there was this offhand line of Kim being like "and there's a request for a show with some other musician, wangson jack?" and just. no. back click, goodbye, nope. shit like that really starts to bug me. some of it is personal irritation at how awful a lot of english speakers are towards asian artists (which like. random fandom people are not at fault for the crimes of USamerican music reporters. but maybe consider that until people overall are less shitty and dismissive towards them, one off lines referencing real life musicians like this are better off deleted). but over all i just...really, really dislike disrespectful attitudes like that (esp for something related to the arts) and i don't want to read them in my favorite character. Kim is pursuing a career in the music industry for himself--Kim being, u know, Kim, he's going to take it very seriously and with that, also hold a lot of respect towards his fellow musicians generally speaking. at the very least, he's going to be cordial and pleasant with them because no one likes working with an asshole and Kim is trying to keep his mafia bullshit far away from his Wik goals. not everyone's going to have the same characterization headcanons i do for how much i think Kim would pour himself into music and love it, but i really don't vibe with any take where Wik is a burden on or a drag for Kim.

and a bonus ☕ because i luv u too anon: anything where Kim doesn't love his brothers or sees them as actual competition instead of the ones he wants to protect the most. this is not a surprise to anyone here, u all know how much i love brothers, but i've noticed that fandom gets kinda caught up in the chess metaphors sometimes. and to that i say: 1. Terry Pratchett yall: sin is when you treat people like things. 2. Terry Pratchett again: chess is a stupid ass metaphor for real life. 3. kp canon agrees with that. Korn is shit at playing chess. (the fucking. ep1 game. omfg. Chan is all but eating his pieces to let Korn win. i'm still howling over the scholars mate in ep5.) Korn is noticeably shit at all his hobbies that are metaphors for controlling people. which is the point! the boys fail every time they try to play his games, because you cannot play people like you would a game. every triumph is rooted in overturning the game board completely.

[ send a ☕, get a bitchy* fic opinion ]

*personal preference related, we’re not here to be mean

#thank u anon this was fun 😂#kinnporsche #tea asks

51 notes · View notes

mezzy-1 · 6 months

Text

VALORANT UNIVERSITY HEADCANONS

@eviethelesbian once again thank you for the Headcanon List. Also shoutout to @darthladyofillusions because I included ur OC :)

Harbor is a history professor dating Astra, the archeology professor. Both of them met on a trip to a site in India

Both of them reached for the same the brush at one point and they laughed it off later

Both of them are excellent teachers in their own way. Varun has a habit of going on tangents about stories and is super nerdy about his subject. Efia’s classes are fun and her energy is infectious

Cypher has a family and does cyber security for the University. Nobody knows his actual name.

Nobody knows him that well but when he comes out of his office he’ll say hello to anyone nearby. He goes home quickly though and usually avoids working late.

Cypher’s office is full of pictures of his family, drawings from his daughter, screens, and the scent of imported Moroccan teas

He and his wife and kid see the students off when they graduate, and all of the students are amazed to realize that this guy has such a good family life. (They thought he was a no-life kinda guy)

Liam ‘Brimstone’ Byrne is the university’s Dean and basically runs everything as much as possible for the good of the students. Tariq and him are the brains and guiding hand of the university

He retired from the military after he was given an educator’s license and became a professor of tactics at a military academy. He then took his skills elsewhere and turned the college into what it is now

Liam keeps the students at the forefront of any policy changes and takes an interest in professors that are considered brilliant but difficult to work with. He’s an expert of recruitment and reining in the right people

Has snacks in his office for students but they can only get them if they complete a pull-up on an pull-up bar he has in his office. One arm only.

Sabine worked at R&D at a pesticide company but is the only Organic Chem teacher that the Valorant U could get. Somehow is a good professor despite hating students and no general teaching

She doesn’t really hate them but it isn’t a good idea to get on her bad side. It’s rumored she poisons the students she hates.

Stared daggers into the first person (Jamie), to make a Breaking Bad reference and since then nobody brings it up

Classes with her are pretty tense but if a student actually tries and gives their all, she’ll notice and be kinder to them. Especially students who study chemistry. Double for O-Chem.

Sabine’s style of teaching could use work, but when she tries to explain complex ideas she’s genuinely in her element. She once explained how tetrodotoxin and nerve ion channels worked to Zyanya’s little sister

Zyanya is a professor for sure, probably the best Spanish teacher ever. Beyond terrifying to new students

She will not let students forget proper accents and grammar, and god help the people that do. Somebody once forgot their homework and Zyanna was literally this close to killing them

Her Spanish is specifically Mexican, and that extends to the class through some of the words she teaches. Especially bits in culture and authenticity

Zyanya’s idea of testing people is borderline an interrogation. 10 minutes of extensive and stern conversations and multiple pages of writing. People say it feels like their souls have literally been drained

Students come out of the classes fluent or scarred for life

Ling is a professor of medicine and completed her PHD around the same time Viper completed hers. They were amazed to see each other teaching

She does Tai Chi for relaxation but did at one point learn Kung Fu while living abroad in a monastery for a couple of years. She once broke a board in front of her class just to prove it

Hosts meditation hours during finals week and her office hours are always super useful for all of the medical and nursing students. Calming as hell to anxious people

Tala got a scholarship via cross country and another from basketball, and wants to major in physical therapy. She also got a job doing late night shifts at the library as security.

Hazal is in a band called Nightmare. Her and several other introverts got together and started one. Only perform in the most obscure venue. She can play bass REALLY WELL

Tala found out and now shows up to every performance the band has. If it weren’t for the lights flashing red and blue, you could see Hazal blushing when she spots Tala in the crowd

That’s how she met Hazal. Tala was approached by her because Hazal wanted to study late and the two became acquainted

Both of them love the late nights that they share and Hazal is always at one of Tala’s games. Tala picks her out of the crowd every time, and at the end Hazal always kisses her

Mateo is a veterinary student and is everyone’s friend. Except Iselin because some of his patients got into her office once and trashed her latest project model

He keeps fish, dogs, lizards, cats, and nearly everything else. At one point he was in charge of a project that kept some monkeys around at one point

The animal counterparts are a chameleon (Dizzy), a Chinese High Banded Shark (Thrash), a bullfrog tadpole (Mosh), and an Axolotl named Wingman

He has a crochet version of his (radivore) crew, courtesy of Omen being bored one day

Mateo is a Gen Z kid, and his vocabulary beyond salvaging

Jamie is an English major, I mean, obviously

Everyone likes Jamie, he brings a certain energy to everything he does and it resonates well with people. His writing has a level of power and rhythm that makes it both easy to listen and layered

He is a songwriter, and poet, and even has a collection of published short stories. His mums are proud. His scripts are also incredible and his goal is to get his own musical to Broadway

When Jamie is in a play, it’s usually as the protagonist or the main antagonist. It is wonderful to see him on stage, especially because he’s trained as a Shakespearean actor

Tayane is THE art student and the reason most of the faculty drinks. And also the reason why most of the students drink too

Absolute ragers getting thrown anytime Tayane is involved. This woman does not stop until the sun is up

Her graffiti portraits are inspired, colorful, and almost always on government property or university property. Brim started commissioning her in order to stop her from painting everything

The commissioned murals are a lot better for her, and gave her legal access to make huge projects on some of the older buildings

One of the walls is a silhouette of a woman with big circular glasses, geometric pink and yellow patterns around her, and surrounded by flowers

Vincent Fabron is the art teacher and Viper HATES him. He’s also that one teacher an unreasonable amount of people of have a crush on

He was a tattoo artist while taking art lessons in France, then moved into high class art. His gallery pieces gained a lot of attention and he gained a lot of money from them.

Now he teaches art, and has done graphic design for many upscale companies. His own business card has won awards from design and art societies though

Omen is a guy in a scarf and hoodie that is somehow in everyone’s classes. He crochets in the back sometimes.

Texts notes at 4am to anyone who needs it and is incredibly nocturnal. He doesn’t need sleep he needs friends

Students never remembered or learned his name, so they just started calling him Omen after the laptop brand he uses

Erik ‘Breach’ Torsten is a coach they brought in and actually manages a paralympic team. May have criminal past according to some of the athletes he manages

He will scream at people in Swedish during games, practice, going over strategies, and if he sees them in public. Friendly but so loud

His prosthetic arms were a courtesy of the university’s science program. They were partially a gift and partially a test to see what they could do. Erik made sure that he could flip people off with the arms

Iselin the professor of Industrial Design, and she is the most stern professor ever. At times she works for a wilderness recreation company and does product design for them.

She is very organized, and her lecture presentations are always available, she lists the pages to read, dates for every assignment are posted a month in advance

Iselin’s a professional and rarely eases up, but the few times she’s been out with the other faculty she’s been surprisingly fun. Especially with Ling for some reason

Kirra is a Biology professor that has so many plants in her room. Has a parakeet, dog, and fish tank at home too. Does wildlife photography on the side.

Kirra protested in college and was arrested once for sabotage. So she is totally chill with people missing class for stuff, and gives extra credit for students involved in causes

Goes on wilderness expeditions with some students for a class and memorized several survival books worth of information and knows every plant, animal, and fungus she comes across

Klara is an engineering major and Tayane just comes to those classes because she can. It usually results in the equipment being plastered in stickers and paint.

They met when Tayane decided to tag the garage that Klara was keeping her final project in. Both of them sort of caught feelings as soon as they saw each other

Klara fell so damn hard, and realized this while Tayane was doing a kegstand. Klara whispered ‘she’s perfect’ mindlessly and then realized Sunwoo was right next to her

Sunwoo finished what was in her cup, patted Klara on the back, and said ‘good luck’ before walking away and pretending she didn’t hear

Her final project has been her ‘Lockdown’ which is basically an EMP crossed with a massive DDOS hack. It went off once and downed the college’s internet for a week.

She’s going to switch it to something a little less destructive at this point, and Tayane is helping her brainstorm. Currently it’s a robot but she’s trying to figure out what to make it do

KAY/O is Tariq’s gamertag. The man is a CS:GO fiend and has crazy flashes due to muscle memory

Liam and him are MARRIED. I’m not budging on this one and you will find me dead in the ground before I let this go

Tariq’s good at a lot of random stuff and doesn’t help out too much at the college but is well-known as the ‘guy who Brim allows to help grill things’ because nobody else is allowed

Helps Liam plan out things for the students and assists in any sort of set up that he can do

Ryo is studying Japanese History and works as a mechanic at a chop shop. It is shady as hell over there but Yoru will hook people up if needed. They definitely steal parts though

He takes business classes and there’s a real chance he might double major. His business acumen and aggressive nature would make him the ultimate CEO

Sasha is the professor that most students simp for, and he teaches Russian Language classes. Throws things at students that don’t pay attention and rarely misses

He has an owl nesting outside of the window to his classroom, he named it Matrioshka after the nesting dolls. It had owlets so it seemed fitting.

His babushka lives out of the country but gets a continuous stream of gifts from him

Sasha is that one professor that has a weird story for everything in his room. The bow he has? killed a grizzly bear with it. Glass eye on display? It was a gift from a glassmaker that was caught with illegal firearms. Weird rock? It was at the sight of a historic battle and has a bootprint in it

Has SO MANY books from Russian writers he reads in his off time. Also does archery at a cabin he has in the woods.

Nobody could handle Novikov at the cabin, the sheer hotness of him splitting firewood, bow hunting, and chopping trees would send people into a simp coma

At the end of the year, he writes each student a short note in Russian telling them something worthwhile.

Sunwoo is an amazing sprinter and also amazing at darts. Loves adding photos to the corkboard she has in her dorm

She isn’t really sure what she wants to study at the moment or even if she wanted to go to college. Gotta love families pressuring college on their kids right?

It isn’t as depressing though, she shows real talent and enjoyment in studying Business but surprisingly is leaning towards learning Journalism as well

She writes stuff for the school paper, a blog, and even has a (somewhat inspired by people around her) science fiction story. She hasn’t thought of a name yet.

It’s about secret agents that fight against an alternate dimension that tries to steal a powerful crystal from them. It’s quite popular with the people who she let read it and people are constantly asking for updates

Sunwoo is trying, and hopefully she’ll manage to find somewhere she can feel comfortable

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kayra is studying botany, and started a garden in one of the common areas. At first it was small but cute, then after a few weeks the flowers and bushes spread outside of the garden and overtook the common area.

It's now her favorite place to get away from people because trellises were added in and nobody can see through the vines. There’s a chance she keeps patio furniture in the garden too

Has been living in an apartment with Hazal. Tala has been the only one in there and says its overrun with houseplants and hanging lamps.

(@darthladyofillusions I hope this is accurate to some extent)

84 notes · View notes

30-3am · 1 year

Text

G R O U P I E • L O V E

✰ James Hetfield ✰

" He was poison running through her veins and she couldn’t get rid of him. "

˚ · • . °

part five of ten

groupie love contents

warnings: period sex (it starts at the very last time skip so if you wanna miss out you can), angst, graphic descriptions of menstrual cycle, o/c finally standing up for herself, hurt/comfort

word count: 8.8k

˚ · • . °

Chapter Five - Sorry Isn't Enough

Under any other circumstances, she would’ve laughed. She was sitting, by herself, in a bar plagued with American flags and patriotic memorabilia. Drunk men were discussing politics they didn’t understand, cigarettes between their fingers, and the slow country tune travelled harshly out of the speakers. She felt shitty. There was a dull ache in her lower stomach that threatened to worsen with every passing minute, and each time her arm brushed her breast, she flinched back in pain and prayed the discomfort away. A headache was prominent but easy to ignore, however, she feared the longer she stayed in the unbearably stuffy bar, it would become harder to pretend she wasn’t in immense pain. Not even the beer she sipped on made it better. It was all shit. He was off laughing and joking with his friends and she was on the verge of tears, feeling unfathomably alone and waiting patiently for him to take her back to the hotel.

She was nothing if she didn’t have him and it scared her. Why should she have to rely on someone who treated her so poorly - someone who made her feel hopeless? Deep down, she knew she didn’t deserve this - she didn’t deserve his treatment but she agreed. She was the one who said she’d go with him and she was paying the price. Her and her stupid feelings. She thought she’d be capable of not getting attached, of not expecting anything but sex and a place to stay. But she just had to go and like him too much.

She pushed her beer away, the condensation that had formed on the glass transferring to her fingertips. Tears were threatening to spill and it made her feel so weak and pathetic.

She rested her head on the bartop, arms acting as a faux pillow. She needed some release, some comfort from the pain contorting all around her body. She just thanked God that she wasn’t bleeding yet and she hoped that James would maybe leave her alone for a good week before he came to her again. But she knew it was hopeless and the future embarrassment of having to tell him why he couldn’t use her for a couple of nights made her squeeze her eyes tightly shut and a tear fall from the corner of her eye.

She could hear laughter behind her, all loud and obnoxious and then a voice she so desperately wished not to hear. It was followed by other voices unrecognisable to her ear that grew closer and closer until they quieted to a whisper.

“That's your girl right?”

“She okay?”

“Man, buy her a drink or something.”

“Just fuck off, Lars, she’s being dramatic.”

Dramatic? She lifted her head at that, staring directly into the green glass of her beer. She gazed upon her own reflection, the way mascara had collected under her eyes, the way her desperate attempt to make her greasy hair look presentable had failed, and the way water was dripping down the glass right where her eye was. Ironic.

Then, he came into her vision, face distorted by the curve of the bottle. And it was quiet for a minute, the others’ voices trailing off as they went to sit down elsewhere. Then, the soft stomp of his boot on the wood floor, a hesitant but meaningful step towards her.

“C’mon, no point moping around, I brought you here for a reason.” It was hard to rid of the lump in her throat when he said that. Moping around? Being dramatic? Fuck him.

She straightened up, swallowing hard and blinking furiously. He was looming behind her like a shadow: dark, confusing and powerful.

“I’m not moping.” Hormones were raging and she was becoming increasingly irritable. It was hard to bite her tongue, however shy she may be.

“You are, now come and sit with us.” He finished off the sentence with her name and it cut through her like a knife. She turned around on the barstool, looking upon him with the nastiest look she could muster.

“I don’t wanna sit with you.” She saw the twitch of his eye, the clench of his jaw. One of the things that made James so happy with this girl was that she was so obedient. She always listened to him and always did what he asked of her. She made him feel big and adored but he feared he’d pushed her too far, that maybe she’d finally cracked and he’d scared her away. Maybe she just figured out that he wasn’t actually a good person. Maybe she’d be gone for good. He wouldn’t blame her.

“Why?” There was a sadness underneath her hard stare and the shake of her leg told him she was nervous. It pained him to see her in such a state and the urge to just touch her and hold her was so strong he could feel his hands twitching in her direction.

“Because I don’t want to.” Was it wrong to think she looked cute when she was angry? Her stare and scowl that attempted to scare him and her little shaky hands…God, she was a piece of work.

He was silent for a minute as he took in the situation. He couldn’t force her to come with him, he couldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t agree to and it didn’t seem like she was in a forgiving mood. She looked so tired. His sleepy girl. He had half a mind to take her back to the hotel, draw them both a nice hot bath and watch as she fell asleep against his chest in the water. And then he’d pick her up and dry her off, taking her to bed and giving her a kiss goodnight.

But, they’d all get suspicious. They’d think she was a serious thing when she wasn’t. Serious in a way that she was threatening to break him, sure. But not serious enough that he was willing to take her home instead of drinking until he passed out.

“Fine, do what you want.” And he turned around and walked off, shaking his head as he went.

He wasn’t angry with her. In fact, he was concerned. She was such a special little thing: so fragile and easily broken. He didn’t want to leave her but goddamnit it was easier to push her away than admit he liked her. It was only a matter of time before she figured out just who he was. He was a dickhead, he had a drinking problem he didn’t want to address and he was sad and angry at the world he had been born into.

She was just…well he didn’t really know what she was. Annoying and gorgeous and an issue. She threatened to shatter his integrity and he threatened to shatter her. He just didn’t know how to handle someone like her - how to treat her. He was out of practice, he didn’t know how to be nice. He could barely be decent. She confused him so much.

He wanted her, almost desperately. And he could tell by the wide look in her eye and the sweet smile she put on every time he was around him, that she wanted him too. But the woman sitting at the bar didn’t adorn the same expression. Her eyes were hard and her mouth was cemented into a scowl. She looked like shit if he was being honest but she was too angry for him to question; she scared him.

“She okay?” He was snapped out of his reverie by his friend's concern, planting himself next to Lars on a chair.

“Yeah, Chad, she’s just…” he picked up the beer they’d bought for him and took a long swig. “Women.”

“We’ve all been there,” someone else chimed in. “They’re all the same. Just give her a good poundin’ and she’ll be right as rain.”

James’s hand on the beer bottle tightened, his jaw clenching and teeth gritting together. It was hard to bite his tongue as the people around the table agreed with him, telling him she’d be fine after a good fuck. No, not his girl. Any other woman, sure. They could talk about them all they wanted to, but not her.

“Shut the fuck up.” He said it before he had time to stop himself, not that he really cared about the repercussions.

“Huh?” A nervous chuckle came from…he wanted to say, Tommy. Some new roadie who Kirk had taken a liking to, talking about matters that didn’t concern him.

“Shut the fuck up about her.” Lars’ obnoxious laugh came from the right side of him, taunts about protectiveness and jealousy - taunts drowned out by James as he took a swig of beer, then another, almost downing the whole thing.

“Sorry, man.” Tommy was still trying to keep the conversation light, a little confused as to the situation.

“Don’t act like you know me, don’t act like you know her. Okay?” The table had fallen silent, the tension palpable.

“Y-yeah, man, I get it.” James finished his beer and looked at the empty glass. The conversation around him continued as they all tried to forget about the predicament he had put them in. Condensation was running down the outside of the glass and he looked at his reflection as a single droplet fell right where his eye was situated. Ironic.

˚ · • . °

It was hard not to cry as she watched him walk away. She wanted him to care about her, needed him to turn back around, hold her and tell her he was there for her and that he wasn’t leaving. But he hated her. And even if he didn’t, he made no effort to make it seem like the opposite. It was pathetic how much she needed him - how she could see he was terrible for her but refused to leave.

She fell asleep at night to visions of herself having a life with him. A happily domesticated life. She had to stop herself every time she imagined having a house in the middle of nowhere with him…a kid with him. It was always times like that when she cried herself to sleep because she knew she’d never have that with him. He didn’t care about her. Her whole objective in his life was to fuck and be fucked.

She was still staring at the space he had once resided in, eyes fixed on the wood floor. There was a chip where his foot had been, a small discolouration, a speck of uniqueness. She kept her gaze fixed on that spot, unable to steal her eyes away. The spot started to become blurry and the first oncome of tears filled her waterline. A sob was trapped in her throat and visions of him swam in her brain. She just wanted a hug - from him. From anyone.

“Hey,” she snapped her eyes in the direction of the voice, blinking away her tears away. She recognised his face.

“Daniel?” She couldn't help her confused expression, or James’s words travelling through her.

‘Don’t let fucking Daniel speak to you again.’

And she hadn’t thought about him up until now. She didn’t think that request would have to be put into practice.

“Yeah, um,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “You don’t look too good. I was just wondering if you were okay.”

She swallowed and played with the fabric of her dress.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She coughed as her voice shook. “Didn’t think I’d see you again.” He smiled a little and gestured to the seat next to her, silently asking if he could sit. She nodded and shifted, turning around so she was facing the bar.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” he seemed nervous. “I’m sorry about what I said to you last time we talked. I didn’t mean it.”

She offered a small smile and a shake of her head.

“It’s fine, Daniel.”

“It’s not though.” He turned to face her, eyes fixed on the side of her face. She hesitantly caught his eyes, quickly averting her gaze, uncomfortable with the eye contact. “I’ve seen you around with James,” he said his name with disdain. “You seem like a nice girl and you’re gorgeous and I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but the conversation you just had with him…well, it was,” he stopped himself and she shuffled away from him as he got a little too close. “I just don’t think you deserve a guy like that.

She took a breath, grimacing a little at the stabbing pain in her lower stomach.

“I’m not with him.” She tried to explain, to convince herself that what he was saying was false. “It’s an arrangement, not a relationship.” Her voice was quiet, her head pounding and she just wanted to go to bed. She needed to sleep. Only when she was asleep did she feel any kind of relief from her pain.

“That’s the issue though.” She tensed as she felt his hand on top of hers, warm and rough. They weren’t as big as James’s but they felt nice: a comfort from everything. And even though she didn’t know this man, she felt herself relaxing as he rambled on. “You’re so pretty, and- and nice. You’re not a bitch like the rest of them and he’s…” He finished his sentence abruptly and he squeezed her hand in assurance, like he was about to give her the worst news of her life. “He’s not a nice guy. He’s an asshole to put it lightly. And even if it is just an arrangement you shouldn’t be treated like that. The normal groupies get more respect.”

And it was hard to push down the tears at the realisation - a realisation that she succumbed to a long time ago.

“Hey, shit, I’m sorry.” Daniel kindly asked the bartender for a napkin, thanking him as he took it from his hands. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

She gratefully took the tissue, dabbing at her eyes and trying to suppress embarrassing sobs. Tears fell down her face and she could feel the first trickle of blood settle in her underwear. The feeling only made her cry harder, salty teardrops dripping off her chin and onto her dress.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered through sobs, and she was vaguely aware of his hand on her back, rubbing small circles on her skin and sending a comforting fuzz through her body. “I just wanna go back to the hotel.”

She looked at him, his expression sympathetic and concerned, not at all embarrassed that she’d broken down in a bar. There was only one other man in their area but he was too inebriated to even glance at them and everyone else was in a separate room. She could hear their laughter in the distance and the way the wall separated the two atmospheres was so nauseatingly poetic that it made her feel worse.

“I can take you back.” He continued to comfort her, his arm fully around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. He was so goddamn nice to her and the change of pace was overwhelming. No one had shown her this amount of decency the whole time she’d been on the road.

“He’ll be angry with me if I leave.” And she looked at him and saw the pity in his eyes. Poor girl. Poor, unfortunate soul. It made her feel so weak when people looked at her like that. She wasn’t fragile. Just a little broken. She needed guidance and someone to hold her at night but she was fine by herself. “Don’t look at me like that.” The hand rubbing her shoulder twitched and the same expression was more notable as a large tear rolled down her cheek.

“Like what?”

“I-,” It was hard to get the words out.”I’m not fragile, Daniel. Stop pitying me so much. And don’t act like you’re innocent.” She brought the tissue to her cheek and wiped away the tears, attempting to regulate her breathing.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He seemed genuinely apologetic and his affections were comforting and confusing all at once. “I’m trying to make it better. I’ve seen you around and you’re always so quiet. And…well. I don’t know, honey you just never seem happy.”

Her lips quivered and her stomach contorted from a dull ache to a sharp pain. She could feel the warm wetness in her panties and the throb all over her body.

“I’ve gotta go.” She slipped off the barstool, Daniels's arm falling to his side and the loss of his warmth made her shiver. She didn’t have time to look back at him, didn’t bother to answer his retorts and ran away to the bathroom, locking herself in the end stall and burying her face in her hands.

She cried. Cried for who she had failed and what she had become. Her daddy would be so disappointed in her. Her mother even more so. It pained her and made her heart ache unfathomably when she thought of what she had done with her life.

She grieved for the girl who dreamed of a husband who loved her, and kids she could look after. A happy family. She knew she made the wrong decision when she said yes. She shouldn’t of. But he was so nice to her when they met. The smiles he sent her and fuck he washed her hair for her. He was funny and sweet and when she felt that warmth inside her, she really thought he was it. She thought she’d found the one.

Stupid. So stupid.

She wiped her tears away and took a deep breath, pushing her panties down her legs and seeing the dark red patch - barely visible against the black. The sight only made her cry more.

She had to take another minute, her head resting on the wall of the cubicle, the cool surface giving her a strange sense of relief. She closed her eyes and let a stray tear trail down her cheek. She made no attempt to wipe it away as she reached for some tissue and tried to clean the mess in her underwear, red contrasting with the stark white of the tissue.

It slowly occurred to her that she didn’t have anything to remedy the situation. And her head was throbbing and her breasts were so tender, a singular touch made her pull back in protest.

She just sat there, eyes closed, head resting on the wall, feeling the blood trickle from her vagina and into the toilet bowl. She was in pain. Everywhere was in pain.

And she could feel how tired she was as she sat there, falling into her mind as darkness enclosed her. Then, the door slammed open and her name was rough in his throat. She snapped her eyes open and was met with fluorescent light that made her squint and a sharp pain pass through her head as she sat up too quickly.

Her name bounced off the walls as he called for her again. And then a knock on the stall door. She sighed as she stuffed some tissue in her panties, pulling them up and making sure they sat comfortably before unlocking the door and letting it swing open.

James looked down at her, his hands coming to cup the sides of her face. He looked angry and it scared her. She pulled back a little at the contact, his pupils blown wide, hands gripping her face a little too hard and jaw clenched.

“What the fuck were you doing talking to him?” He shook her as he asked and she was so sluggish and tired that she just let it happen. She couldn’t even think up a reply as he continued. “I told you not to talk to him.” She remained silent as he held her tight, the strength he was unaware of bruising her. It was only when he said her name, sharp and loud enough that it made her headache worse, did she manage to speak.

“He was just being nice to me.” She grabbed his wrists as his grip loosened and yanked his hands away from her face. She pushed past him and made her way to the sink, turning on the tap and watching him through the mirror.

“He’s a fucking asshole, he’s not ‘nice’.” She silently washed her hands, a crack in the mirror obscuring his eyes. “He was touching you up.”

“He was not.” She turned around, back hitting the edge of the sink. She was not compliant. She would not let him have power over her. “He was comforting me, something that you fail to do.” He opened his mouth as if to speak but closed it again, letting her say what she needed to. If she was going to berate him, he’d allow it. He deserved whatever was coming for him. “You saw that I was sad. You told all your friends I was being dramatic, what the fuck, James?” Her hands were gripping the sink, knuckles turning white. “You don’t get to be protective or jealous. You don’t fucking get that privilege.”

He watched as she advanced towards him, red hot with fury. He leaned against the frame of the cubicle, arms at his sides and struggling to make eye contact with her.

“I’ve been waiting for you to be decent and I have been goddamn patient.” She shoved a finger into his chest, an angry tear slipping down her cheek. “I am nice to you. I do what you tell me to but you don’t even make the effort to talk to me. At least pretend you’re interested because I am really fucking tired of pretending that this what I deserve.” Her face was near his, breath fanning his face and his body twitched as her scent invaded his nose. She was so close to him, and her body was so warm and he felt himself falling into her as his hands trailed to her waist. There was a moment of calm, a moment where they could pretend they were normal, that she wasn’t angry and he wasn’t weak.

Until he felt her bury her face into his chest, felt the way her body shook as she sobbed and the moment was washed away and all he felt was the pit in his stomach. Her tears were soaking into his shirt and he moved his hands from her waist to hold her properly.

One hand wrapped around her body, the other on the back of her head, pushing her into him. And she let him do it, let him consume her and comfort her and she hated to admit that the warmth of his body and his strong hold was making her feel better. He was the one who had caused her such pain, and such confusion but even so, he was the only one who could fix what he had caused.

“Why can’t you just like me?” She asked between sobs, her hands gripping his shirt.

“I-,” It was hard to think of what to say as he held her. It felt right comforting her. It felt normal and it scared him. “I do like you.”

She was quick to retort. “But you never act like it.”

Her sobs were stopping, her body stilling against his and she slowly removed her head from his chest. His hand was still in her hair as she looked up at him, eyes red and makeup running down her face.

“I just want you to like me.”

He wiped away a tear with his thumb, his heart aching as he saw her in pain. And he wanted to tell her everything he felt, he wanted her to be his but it was hard to imagine a life where he could change. He was too broken to give her what he wanted - too broken to fix her.

“Listen, sweetheart.” Her wide, glassy eyes were looking at him, sparkling under the light. “We’re gonna go back to my room, and I’m gonna look after you, okay?”

“But, your friends, they-.” “I don’t care about them. I shouldn’t of-,” It was on the tip of his tongue: an apology. A genuine apology. “I shouldn’t have done anything I’ve done…anything I’ve said. You, you’re-,” he gripped her cheeks, her body molding to his will. “You’re a special girl. Just let me take care of you, please.”

He sounded desperate.

“You can’t just,” she sniffled. “You can’t just say that though. Not after everything.”

He placed his forehead on hers, hands running through her hair and resting at the base of her neck.

“I’m not a good person. Not good enough for you anyway.” He saw her lip quiver and he held her tighter. “But I can try with the time we’ve got. I’ll try for you so please, let me take care of you.”

“I-.” “Please.”

She swallowed and held onto his wrists, not pushing him away. Just keeping him there. “I don’t know if you want to this week I’m,” she could feel her cheeks heating up as she sighed. “I’m on.”

“What? Your period?” His brow was knitted in confusion, his hands at the back of her neck a little softer.

She nodded at his question, averting her gaze. It was a stigmatized subject, her mother didn’t even speak to her about it. When she first got her period, she slipped a pad under the bathroom door and left. It was never spoken about again.

“I don’t care about that.” He sounded genuine, the statement sounding firm and truthful in his throat. He nudged her nose with his, hot breath against her face. He smelt like beer.

“A lot of guys do.” Her voice was quiet and he chuckled softly as she started to become more of herself - tears dried and naivety present.

“Well, I don’t. In fact,” he placed a kiss on her nose. “ It’s more a reason to take care of you. You look like shit, baby. I need to get you in a shower.” She laughed, hating how easily he made everything melt away, how easily she succumbed to him.

“You said your hotel room,” she started after a moment of silence. “Did you mean mine?”

He shook his head, forehead still firmly pressed on hers.

“I want you to sleep in my bed,” he placed a kiss on her nose again. “I want you next to me when I wake up.” He kissed her lips this time. “I want to treat you how you deserve.”

Why did he have to be so difficult? Why did one minute he dismiss her and make her feel small, then the next hold her and heal her?

His touch was strong and his eyes were soft as he looked down at her and she could feel herself losing it. Any semblance of power she had over him was gone and she was his. It just felt so nice to be held. To be told that she deserved better.

It was hard to think he didn’t know what he was doing. He probably did. It was his way of keeping her around and making sure she didn’t run off. She assumed the beer she smelt on him was a factor in how touchy he was as well.

“Cmon, baby.” He kissed her again, a small peck that progressed, threatening to go further until she pushed him away.

She held him at arm's length, arching her back so she could asses his face.

“Are you drunk?” The side of his mouth twitched upwards, a smile pushing through.

“Well, I’m not sober.”

She averted her gaze from him at his admission, knowing that this was short-lived and that the next day, he’d be reminded of what he’d said and cringe. Because there wasn’t a chance in hell he wanted to do what he said he would do.

But his insistence made it easier to pretend, made it easier to feel like he actually wanted her. And the short time she could spend with him would make up for all the time she would lose.

“Let’s just go.” She felt shame having to say it; it was shameful she couldn’t stand her ground. She just couldn’t say no. She needed him, as much as she hated to admit it. She needed his touch, his praise and in a way she needed his toxicity. He was poison running through her veins and she couldn’t get rid of him.

It stung as he kissed her again, took her hand and guided her away from sense.

˚ · • . °

The hotel door slammed shut behind them. Silence followed it. She toyed with her hands and watched as he picked empty cans of beer off the floor, the bin overflowing with the containers. The air was thick with tension, the ride there even more so laced with unspoken thoughts. It seemed as soon as they exited the bathroom, all his promises were broken and they were back to where they’d come from. He still seemed adamant about taking care of her but it was difficult to figure out what exactly that meant as he tried to tidy up his room.

She hugged her stomach as a sharp pain stabbed at her, contorting and causing a gush of blood to fall from her.

“James.” She muttered as he picked up the last of the trash.

He turned to face her, eyes fixed on the pain plastered into her features.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes narrowed and he looked as if he was second-guessing himself, begging her silently not to up and leave him.

“I need to go get some things from my room.” The tissue felt damp in her panties, blood soaking through the makeshift pad and no longer holding her flow.

He took two steps towards her, holding onto her shoulders and hunching down so he was at eye level with her.

James hated to admit it but the whole journey back to the hotel room, he was afraid she’d leave. He kept his eyes on her when they were in the car, when they were in the elevator and even now as his heart beat in his chest. What if she wouldn’t come back? What if when he went to find her, her room was empty and she was gone? It hurt to be apart from her and it hurt to be with her. Only when he held her and when he fucked her did he feel like he could breathe. He felt suffocated when she wasn’t around: he couldn’t think straight. He needed her. She wasn’t a want anymore - she was a necessity to his wellbeing.

“You make sure you come back.” Her eyes were boring into his, wide and bright.

“I’m only going across the hall.” A half-hearted laugh followed her statement and he felt like holding her closer and not letting her go.

“I know, just-.” He felt fucking stupid. “Go get what you need.” He released her shoulders and smiled at her. The one she gave in return felt ingenuine and his stomach churned with nerves. It only grew stronger when she walked out the door, and he found himself staring at the clock on the bedside table, just watching the minutes tick by.

No woman had encapsulated him in such a way. She’d stolen his soul and his mind, leaving him a garbling mess without her. He was more irritable than usual, isolating himself. The drinking wasn’t fun anymore, meeting fans was becoming tedious and it took everything in him not to smack interviewers in the face when they asked him the most ridiculous questions. She was his anchor. He could see clearer when she was around and it scared him to the point he had to push her away. But he was tired of pretending he didn’t need her and after five minutes of waiting, he thought the damage was already done.

Then she knocked on the door and he let out an audible breath. It was embarrassing the way he rushed to open the door, the way he couldn’t help his smile as she looked up at him. She’d changed her clothes, hands in her pockets as she pushed past him. She was silent as she walked into the bathroom and despite his better judgement, he followed her. She pulled something from her pocket, placing them down on the counter. He recognised them: a healthy selection of pads and tampons.

“Does it hurt?” He leaned against the door frame, looking at her with sympathy. She didn’t seem to appreciate the question, or the look on his face that came with it.

“Of course it hurts.” He didn’t know how he was supposed to make things better. He’d hurt her enough to the point she didn’t even want to hear him out. He didn’t blame her. He probably wouldn’t have even talked to her again if it was the other way around.

Silence hung heavy in the room. She wasn’t looking at him.

“Um, you wanna shower?” He had to restrain himself from running into her arms and holding her so tight he swallowed her whole.

“I just wanna go to bed, James.” She sounded tired, she looked exhausted and her pain was prominent on her face.

“Okay, yeah.” She didn’t move for a second, playing with the drawstrings of her hoodie. He didn’t really know what to do. He wanted her; he wanted to be inside of her. But she’d leave him if he did. So he walked towards her, taking her hands in his.

“Come on.” His voice was softer than it had ever been, the words whispered into the darkness and diffusing into the air. “Let’s get some sleep.”

She looked like she was about to cry again as he guided her towards the bed, hand intertwined with her own. He wanted to ask her what he could do to make it right, what he could do to help. He wanted to help her.

He let go of her as she pulled at the covers, settling herself down on the right side of the bed. She faced away from him when she turned onto her side, hands tucked under her head and knees curled up to her stomach. He didn't take his eyes off her as he stripped down to his underwear, clothes hitting the floor with soft thuds.

He hesitated before climbing into bed…wondering. Wondering how she would react: if she would reach for him with her hands, if she’d let his hands wander her skin and soothe her until she was asleep against his chest. And nerves and insecurity were at the forefront of his mind as the bed creaked under his weight. He pulled the covers up so that the fabric covered his legs, leaning against the headboard and inching his hand closer to her. He stopped his movement when he was an inch away from her, fingers reaching out to her but refusing to touch. Her name got stuck in the back of his throat as it was uttered from his lips - small and pathetic.

“What?”

He waited for a second before answering her, muffled laughter of people in the hallway travelling through the walls. His heart beat fast in his chest, his breathing heavy.

“I’m sorry.”

She stayed in the same attitude, almost frozen in place until she was thawed out and rolled over to face him. She shuffled around, sitting up in the bed and letting the duvet fall to her hips. He was closer to her now, the warmth of her legs making him twitch in anticipation.

“You’ve got to stop saying that.” She still refused to look at him. “It doesn’t make it any better.”

He knew. “I know.”

“I don’t expect a lot from you.” She said, inching her leg a little closer to his. “I just don’t want you to see me as a fragile little girl who’s going to do everything you tell her to.”

A part of him was proud of her; a little, tiny part of him was happy she was finally standing up for herself. And the other part was terrified that she’d leave. He didn’t want her going anywhere. So he grabbed her face, turning her head so that she was looking at him. He pressed his forehead to hers, just as he had done less than an hour prior and held her there. He breathed her in, a hand idly trailing through her hair and he felt her shiver.

“Can I hold you?” His lips brushed hers as he spoke, leaving a tingling where they had touched. She pushed herself further into his hold, head falling into his neck. She lay a kiss there, soft and sweet and he closed his eyes as she crawled onto his lap, hands holding onto his neck and head pushed into his chest.

One hand held onto her back, fingers trailing up and down her spine while the other held onto the back of her neck.

“Thank you,” he murmured as she nuzzled into him, squeezing him tight and bringing him back to earth.

He felt like he could breathe, felt all warm and fuzzy as she held onto him. He wanted her to depend on him because it was easier for him to pretend he didn’t depend on her. And he’d be vulnerable enough tonight, showing her a small snippet of his desires; showing her the surface of his needs.

He didn’t think it was love. Just an understanding between two people who couldn’t understand each other.

She fell asleep on his chest, arms still tight around him and face still pressed into his bare chest. At some point, he fell asleep as well and when he woke up, she’d still be holding onto him - holding onto an idea that was going to fail.

˚ · • . °

She woke up cold. The bed was empty and the wetness between her legs was an unwelcome sensation. She groaned as she sat up, cracking her neck and hoping James had some Advil in his room. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and beelined for the bathroom, the cold tiles stinging her feet.

The blood was trickling out of her and she shoved her sweatpants down to let the liquid fall into the toilet. She ached all over and wondered where he was as she rolled up her used pad and threw it in the trashcan, picking up a fresh one from the counter and sticking it to her panties. She let blood trickle into the toilet bowl and ran a hand down her face, thinking back to the conversation the night before and remembering how easily she had given in. For a long time, she had the upper hand; she had him. But he asked that stupid question - a request so easily fulfilled.

“Can I hold you?”

Her brain went numb when she heard it, the question soft on her ears. His hand was on her face, a reminder that he was still there and she felt so warm and full when he touched her that she couldn’t deny herself the pleasure of having his arms wrapped around her. And she fell into him again and that single moment was enough to ease her anger. Even as she sat on the toilet, wiping herself off, she wasn’t mad at him. She wanted him back.

She flushed the blood away, moving to the sink to wash her hands. She briefly looked at herself in the mirror, catching her reflection before sharply turning away. She needed a shower. But she needed him first.

Walking out of the bathroom, she scanned the hotel room, waiting for any sign of him. The clothes he’d discarded last night were no longer on the floor and everywhere looked eerily tidy.

“James?” She called into nothing, expecting him to come bounding towards her. “James?” Her eyes caught a crack in the balcony door, the curtains billowing slightly with the breeze. She pulled her sleeves over her hands, advancing towards it and grabbing hold of the door handle.

It was hard to deny the relief she felt when she saw him, hands hanging over the railings and a stubbed-out cigarette next to him. He looked toward her when he heard the door and felt a warmth in his chest as she came to stand next to him.

“You gotta another one?” She nodded to the cigarette, her face falling when he shook his head.

“We’re all out.” He says.

“Shame.” She replies.

She looked out at the city below them, cars loud and people loud. She needed quiet.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” She saw the upturn of his lips.

“Is that your way of asking me to join you?”

“No.” She said it too quickly and too harshly. “I just mean…well, you know.” She gestured to her crotch, his laugh meeting her ears: soft and comforting.

“I told you I don’t care.”

“But-.” “It’s just a bit of blood, sweetheart. Nothing I haven’t seen before.” The both of them had subconsciously gotten closer, the heat emanating from him unbearable.

“Yeah, but it’s different.”

He straightened up, removing himself from the barrier and turning to look at her. She snapped her eyes towards him, looking at the mischievous grin on his face. It made her feel so impossibly warm.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

She followed him as he walked through the doors, stripping himself of his shirt and throwing it on the bed. He was silent as he disappeared into the bathroom, the anticipation brewing in her stomach as she heard his pants fall to the floor and the shower turn on.

Hesitantly, she made her way into the bathroom. He was already under the water, the liquid running in rivulets over his body and wetting his hair.

“You getting in?” He asked.

“Maybe.”

“We both know that’s a yes.” A smile overtook her and she wouldn’t deny him any longer. Turning away from him, she pulled her hoodie over her head and pushed her sweatpants off her legs, stopping at her panties.

“I’m gonna have to be quick. You don’t want blood on your floors do you?”

“We can always clean it up.” It was amusing how casual he was about the situation. It was gross enough to her when she felt blood gush from her vagina and he, a person who had never experienced a period in his life, was talking about it as if it was no big deal. It was refreshing, to say the least, and in retaliation, she kicked her panties off and rushed into the shower.

His hands found her waist once she was in, switching their positions and letting the water wet her hair.

“You gonna wash my hair again, Mr Hetfield?” He ran his hands through the strands, eyes trailing down to the blood that diluted in the water. She followed his gaze, cheeks heating in embarrassment as he looked at her again. “Sorry.” She said it quietly, feeling his palm on her cheek, thumb brushing over the bone.

“Don’t.” He leaned in to kiss her, lips wet with warm water and hands roaming to her breasts. He rolled his thumb over the nipple, his body tingling as she moaned into his mouth. He held her firmly by the head, pushing his tongue inside her mouth and trailing his hand down to her waist, gripping the indent as leverage and manoeuvring the both of them until her head hit the wall.

“James,” she protested as he continued to kiss her, his name muffled by his lips and his body pushing her against the tile. “James.” It was a push against his chest that got his attention.

“Yeah.” His pupils were blown wide, lips swollen and hair hanging around his face: damp and messy.

“We can’t.” His hand was still on her waist, the other cupping her cheek. His hold on her made her feel safe.

He rubbed her skin in reassurance before asking his question.

“You’re in pain. With your stomach and shit, yeah?”

She nodded.

“Well, this will help.”

He removed his hand from her waist, fingers dancing further down her skin until he reached her hip bone, dragging the pad of his index finger along it. He saw her breathing change, the rise and fall of her chest happening faster than before.

“Tell me this is okay and I’ll touch you.” His voice was low and laced with lust. “Tell me.” His head was near her ear, biting at the skin underneath it and keeping his hand firmly planted just above the hair that grew below.

She breathed in as he planted more kisses on her neck, grasping onto his shoulder and unable to ignore the feel of his hand…so close.

And with trepidation, she agreed - a single “okay” passing through her lips.

“Good decision, baby.” His breath was hot on her neck, his hand travelling towards her clit even hotter. The water was beating against the shower floor and blood trailed down the inside of her thigh, dripping down towards her feet and down the drain.

Her breasts grazed his chest as he pushed her against the wall, sloppy kisses on her neck and fingers finally on her clit. They grazed the sensitive spot with light touches, a whimper being pulled from her throat as she grabbed onto his shoulders.

His kisses moved from her neck to her jaw - ministrations on her clit unfailing in their rhythm. He kissed her cheek, and her nose and stopped when he reached her lips.

“You trust me?” He asked.

A second of silence.

“No.” He laughed against her lips, breath smelling of cigarette smoke.

“Didn’t think so.” And he dipped his fingers through her folds, a mixture of blood, slick and water collecting on his fingers. She gasped, the sound cut off as he kissed her lips. He pushed the tip of his finger inside her, the stretch and burn accentuated by her state.

She stopped kissing him back as he pushed his finger all the way inside her, eyes squeezing shut as she felt the sting all over. A whine fell from her lips.

“Shhh, baby.” He cooed, softly stroking her insides with his finger. “It’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

He placed a kiss on her head, picking up his pace and coaxing her through the pain. His thumb toyed with her clit, nails digging into his shoulders as she hissed. The tile of the wall was cold against her back, the contrast of warm water spraying her skin and James dragging his finger against her spot a sensation so profound it had a moan falling from her lips.

“Knew you’d like this.” He leaned down to continue kissing along her collarbone and her neck, sucking at her pulse point and most definitely leaving a bruise. “So fucking perfect.” His slow thrusts were replaced - fingers knuckle deep inside her. “Dirty and needy enough to let me do this.” He chuckled right near her ear. “You think you’re ready for me?”

Her mind was so hazy with his finger inside her that she barely heard him, blindly nodding and willing to give him what he wanted. And he slipped his finger out of her, his hand on her hip steadying her.

He was looking at his hand, laughing under his breath before showing her what he was fixated on.

“Look what you did.” His middle finger was coated in blood, more of it dripping down his palm and onto his arm. “Always were messy weren’t you.” He had no reservations as he placed his bloodied hand on her stomach. She was so mesmerised by the way her blood spread along her stomach, the way the spray of water diluted it and made it drip down and disappear into her hair.

“I’ll take the pain away.” His cock was hard, standing to attention as he waited patiently to sink into her. And she was so ready for him, already pulsating from his finger.

“Please.” She arched her back, pushing her crotch into his sensitive cock, relishing in the way he grit his teeth and hissed.

“Goddamnit.” She watched as he gripped his cock, and felt the way he ran the tip through her folds. When he pulled away, blood and precum were mixed together, the sight so filthy and obscene that she begged again: another “please” being dragged from her lips.

“Okay,” he seemed desperate himself as he pushed the tip of his cock into her hole, the stretch an unpleasant feeling that had her squeezing her eyes shut and grabbing onto him. “I know,” he muttered, kissing her lips in reassurance. “Hey.” He caught her attention, her eyes opening and staring into bright blue.

“Mhm?” “Jump up.”

“Huh?”

He grabbed the backs of her thighs.

“Jump,” a tap to her thigh. ‘Up.”

After a moment she seemed to understand, giggling as she grabbed onto his neck, jumping into his hold. His cock slipped deeper inside her as he pushed her into the wall, hands grabbing her ass to hold her up.

“Fuck, baby.” His head fell into the crook of her neck, cock sinking deeper inside her until he was fully sheathed inside her. “So tight.”

She gasped as he started to move, his fingers leaving bruises on her ass and her nails leaving scratch marks on his shoulders and back. The pain was almost unbearable but the pleasure was enough for her to continue. The fullness she felt and his hands on her body made her squirm; the sensation she was feeling was indescribable as she pushed her head into the wall behind her, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

James’s gaze was fixated on the way his cock sunk into her, how every time he pulled out, there was a streak of red against the colour of his skin. His own voice was trapped in his throat, only a few strangled groans meeting her ears.

The water was running hard against the shower floor, the sound of blood, slick and skin slapping against skin an obscenity satan would refuse to hear.

“Please, James.” The coil in her stomach was tightening, her cunt clenching with it and there was a moan pulled from James’s throat as she gripped onto him. His hips were pistoning into her, the curve of his cock dragging against her g-spot and making her moans grow higher in pitch.

She arched her back, James taking the opportunity to nip at her breasts, sucking on the nipples and leaving open-mouthed kisses on the skin.

“Touch your clit for me,” he muttered against her chest. And she obeyed, trepidatiously removing a hand from his shoulder and rubbing her fingers against her sensitive nerve.

She felt the breath leave her lungs and she felt it everywhere.

“Come on.” His fingers were bruising her ass, his grip hard as he thrust into her at a pace so merciless it had her sobbing. “Cum for me.”

She still felt the sting but it was overpowered by the static everywhere. Her fingers had stopped their movements on her clit, letting out a guttural moan as he abused her cunt with hard thrusts. He pounded into her fast, blood trickling between them and falling in huge droplets to the floor.

And she snapped, the pleasure rolling through her body as she moaned his name, a strong tingling sensation travelling from her stomach to her fingers and toes. She could briefly hear James say a breathy “there you go” as she came, his thrusts sloppier and his head falling against her chest. His hips stuttered, a moan gracing the air around them as he stilled and spilt his cum inside of her, the warmth felt deep in her stomach.

They both breathed heavily, James’s head still resting on her chest. She ran a hand through his damp hair, feeling fuzzy and hot.

He gently let her go, pulling out of her as he placed her back down on the ground. His arms were firmly around her waist, holding her against his chest - an embrace that had her smiling against his skin. Blood was travelling down the drain, the water turning dark red to light.

“Fuck,” he muttered against her skin, pulling away to hold her at arm's length. “You know I’ve never done that with a girl before.”

Her eyes widened at his admission, smiling a little, the pain in her abdomen long forgotten.

“The way you talked I thought you did.”

“It never appealed to me before you.”

There was a moment where they just looked at each other, both of them blissed out and high on cunt and cock. And he smiled at her and she smiled at him, a new understanding of the relationship - a milestone. A happy one at that. And he kissed her softly, hands in her hair until he pulled away, lips brushing hers as he said:

“Let’s wash this hair of yours.”

˚ · • . °

A/N: It's kinda embarrassing this took me almost a month to get out but I really hope the word count makes up for it. I think updates might be slow from here on out purely because of how much content there is in each chapter.

˚ · • . °

#james hetfield #metallica #groupie love #james hetfield x reader #james hetfield smut #james hetfield fanfiction #metallica smut #metallica x reader #metallica fanfiction #james hetfield x oc

253 notes · View notes

nyukyujs · 4 months

Text

fortnite player!nct dream analysis <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

mark lee

would honestly ... he wouldn't be good he would be alright at best and i can just hear his "oh dude he was so low though." "dude i swear i hit all my shots." "yo how did i miss that." like bby i love u but get off this game its not for you </3. laughs off every time he loses he gets carried SO hard but its okay he gets at least 1 kill every game [they're usually bots]. when it comes to building he just.... doesn't... says he doesn't need it cause hes fine without it but that's only cause he doesn't know how to.

huang renjun

wouldn't be bad,, but he wouldn't be the best either. like he's actually pretty good dont doubt his abilities. every time he loses he sits back and sighs in disappointment so he doesn't rage and break his controller/keyboard. his building skills are okay,, he genuinely just doesn't like to build so he doesn't most of the time but when he does he's not the worst ever. his aim is quite on point too.

lee jeno

would be actually kinda good surprise surprise omg. he would usually always carry in game and if it's solos he's always in the top 30s. actually so good at building i can see the vision do u see the vision ??? like 😧😧 its kinda scary. def has a sweat skin that he uses cause he won the most with it. every time he loses he sits there and laughs for like half a minute before loading into a new game because he doesn't wanna show his inner rage cause he lost to a 12 y.o.

lee haechan

he's okay. the only reason he would be good is to make the 8 year olds mad and he can actually be kinda good when he wants to but hes often just lazy w it like okay. his building is alright he doesn't care for it but like sometimes he puts in some effort yk??? like okay i see u n ur lil house. an add on to him making the 8 year olds rage when the 8 year olds make HIM rage he RAGES ... probably starts singing because he's that mad it's acc funny. high notes instead of screams. also his aim kinda... sucks most of the time but it's okay cause it's haechan.

na jaemin

plays for fun. when he loses he laughs it doesn't matter it's just a game 🤷🏽‍♀️ likes the skins a lot he changes like every game too and doesn't get how his members don't. likes to drag down his team in game and laugh when everyone loses cause of him cause it's just funny and why not. tries befriending enemies too,,, the moment he's shot at he's teabagging and emoting. genuinely doesn't really have a clue what he's doing but hey he's smiling. also can't built and just straight up admits that.

zhong chenle

is actually good like jeno ,, better actually. like ACTUALLY good . mans just a gamer like that 🙏🏽 best out of the dreamies i see that vision mhm mhm. his building is so good ???? his aim is so good ???? whys he so good his members are acc scared to 1v1 him they know they're done [jeno has some confidence and wins sometimes] dont test chenle. you will lose. man has every skin in the game ???? use ur money elsewhere PLEASE.

park jisung

would be kinda bad... sung i love u but stay on minecraft and roblox !! gets so embarrassed when he loses and laughs it off with a tint of pink splayed across his cheeks it's honestly adorable. his building isn't even that bad compared to him actually in game it doesn't make sense ??? how's ur building good and everything else isn't. its okay hes the baby so hes carried by like the whole team anyw🤞🏽.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

taglist: @isiah--v @m1ko-xu

kya: this is for funsies dont come at me if something off this is from what me and my brother talked about🤞🏽🙏🏽 we just found it funny tbh😭 . <;3 [idk if i really wanna call that a taglist but like we 🆙]

#!@ nct dream <3 .#!@ talk & talk <3 .#what do i even tag this with ... im not even trying to bring attention to it its for funsies uhm #nct dream imagines #nct dream #nct #nct headcanons #nct dream headcanons #mark lee #lee jeno #huang renjun #lee donghyuck #na jaemin #zhong chenle #park jisung #🙏🏽🙏🏽 idk what im doing man i did this for fun help me #nct 127 later <3 #!@ writing <3 .

26 notes · View notes

covfefeaddict · 11 months

Text

You’re a man.

commission for @snekdoodl !! thank u my son !!

find my commissions HERE !!

trans alec hardy getting outed or outing himself to ellie

--------------------------------------------------------------------

" OI! "

Ellie may be a small woman, but what she lacks in size, she certainly makes up for in volume - and she has turned the dial up significantly, having caused Alec to duck his head a fraction at the assault on his ears. Easing back against the frame of the counter, the detective leans his weight into his palms, the cool spans of the countertop a stark contrast to the sweat slicking the flesh there, and currently beading along his brow.

The woman that Ellie had her sights on now had made the tremendous mistake of insulting Alec in a variation of ways with one simple sentence - and in some ways that Ellie hadn't even remotely considered. 'Oh, but don't you want a real man in charge, El?' had been the tipping point, and Ellie's icy stare was shortly followed by closed distance and invading personal bubbles. When Ellie had a point to make, she was not afraid to get up in one's face. It's one thing that Alec appreciated about her most, even if it could lead them into some trouble.

" I am absolutely itching for a reason to get you suspended. Say one more word, no, you even look - no, you even breathe near DI Hardy again without it being a very simple 'Yes, Sir.' to whatever he's asked of you, I will throw you out of my precinct so quickly your head will spin. " A pause, a heavy breath. " Do I make myself clear? "

" Miller. "

She doesn't even look at Alec, merely lifting a finger toward him to shut him up non-verbally. He acquiesces, heaving a great sigh - although a small smirk does play at the corner of his mouth. He does love watching Miller give a good bollocksing. The anxiety that has bubbled in his chest, however, is not settling well within the space between ribcage and thrashing heart.

" Do. I. Make. Myself... Clear? I should not have to repeat myself. "

The woman flits her gaze between Alec and Ellie briefly, sucking in a sharp breath before offering a small nod.

" Good. Now get the Hell out of my sight. "

It's only later when Ellie is pacing Alec's office like a wild, caged animal, that Alec finally leans back in his office seat, hands folded against his stomach lazily. He has often been able to play it off as though not much bothers him when he isn't getting rightfully tiffed about this or that, but this situation has him on edge a bit. " Sit down, Miller. You're making me dizzy. "

" The audacity. " She growls instead, throwing her arms up in exasperation. "A real man, what's that even mean? What does she want you to do, drop your trousers in the middle of the office for all to bare witness? I mean - "

He offers a breathy chuckle at this. " Miller. "

" - the nerve of some people! The absolute - "

" Miller. "

" - stupidity of - "

" Miller, I'm transgender. "

Silence befalls the room. Ellie's quick-paced steps halted as she mulls over this sudden information she's been given. " What? "

Alec lifts a hand, waving it in nonchalance as if to say, 'It is what it is.'. The woman across from him, on the other hand, is none-too convinced as she tilts her head to stare at him. Alec stares right back, but flicks his gaze elsewhere a moment after - he's not been able to hold eye contact long unless his intent is to intimidate. " I'm - "

" No, I heard what you said. " Another pause. " Why would that make you any less a real man? "

" No. I, I'm, I mean yes, but - "

" Alec. " Ellie approaches, side-stepping around his desk so she can lean a hand on the stained wood and study him carefully. " Your scraggly scruff and twelve-hour deodorant degradation certainly look and smell like a man. "

A puff of an irritated exhale; a roll of his eyes. " Thanks, Miller. "

" My point is, Sir, that it doesn't matter. You present yourself as a man, you call yourself a man... You're a man. You are and always have been a man. This doesn't change anything. "

Alec has to consider this. He has heard many a time that he is a man now, but never that he is simply a man and that is all he has been and all he is. A thick swallow forces down the lump in his throat, and he stares up at the woman quietly. He doesn't need to speak. She knows him well enough by now, he assumes, to pick out the unspoken appreciation in his gaze.

In Ellie's other hand, forgotten, is a container of chips that she had been picking away at earlier while pacing. With a small smile, she shoves the container in front of him. He glares at the food for a moment, parting his lips and sucking in a breath to complain about not being able to eat it... but her confirmation, support, and unconditional friendship have him taking this white flag in the form of salty chips and malt vinegar. -------------------------------------------------------------------- find my commissions HERE !!

#writing commissions #alec hardy #ellie miller #trans alec hardy #broadchurch #ty my son for being my first writing commission !!! <33333 #all my love for u

64 notes · View notes

rukia-writes · 1 year

Note

I has a Tesla, Thor, and Hercules request please? How would the boys react if their wife (female reader) looks like Rangiku from Bleach, but is a loyal loving housewife (is very flirty with hubby!) who is a force to be reckoned with when someone tries to take her man! Minor harmless compliments /teases she’s okay with, but when the lady crosses the line she will put her in her place! Is this okay? I hope you’re having a wonderful day!

Tesla, Thor and Hercules u say?! Who resembles my favorite Bleach character of. All. Time.♥️

Hercules is so loyal and true, and getting this man to look elsewhere is just not possible. So when someone flirts with him it’ll just give over his head or he doesn’t play along. Regardless, of his lover.

Now! When that person starts crossing the line it’s going to surprise Hercules because he’ll mention “I have a hot wife and I love her very much. She won’t be happy that you’re hitting on me.” More than a few times and when it’s not clicking them and his wife starts putting them in their place, (because if they have Rangiku’s personality then the claws come out from time to time) Hercules doesn’t want his wife fighting someone when his heart belongs to her and her alone.

So, he’ll probably just gently pick up his wife over his shoulder and tell them “No, no. No fighting. That’s not the right thing to do-“ “let me K-O her!” “No, no. Don’t worry about her, I’ll give you a massage when we get home.” Hercules will come up with a great alternative to try to appease his wife. Maybe give her a little slap to her ass to drive the point that Hercules is taken, only for that to back fire when his wife says “Naughty boy.” Causing Hercules to blush. ♥️

Thor is a such aloof person that someone flirting with him besides his wife has to be painful because Thor is silent the whole time. 🤣 so when they start crossing the line Thor will squeeze out, “I have a wife at home. Beat it.” But they are still crossing the line by flirting and so his wife shows up and shows her claws, Thor is like 👀 “That’s my wife right there.”

Unlike Hercules, Thor likes fighting and having his wife put that person in place makes him low key hot 🥵 “shouldn’t we stop them, Thor?” “No. No.” Thor just want to see how far his wife would defend him, gets So Loki just has to chill for a second. He’s probably high key enjoying it too 😭🤧. Having a lovely and loyal housewife like that shows her claws for him yeah Thor likes that.

So when his flirty wife gives him a kiss infront of everyone, that is it. It’s done. Thor probably forgets he’s in public and will kiss back (and do a lot more). (When a man’s blood is up anything goes and Thor is no exception.) this most likely drives the point home that Thor isn’t interested in anyone but his wife and if they try anything Thor is going to be angry and we all know that is not a good thing.

Loki has a story to tell his uncle when he sees him. ♥️

Tesla is so hot 🥵 face card never declines

Tesla has probably warned the person that he’s married countless times, in German, French, English, etc. and has mentioned that his wife really wouldn’t like they are doing. So when his lovely wife’s shows up and starts putting that person in their place Tesla doesn’t want it to escalate to fighting because he loves his wife’s hands and body.

It also takes Tesla by surprise because it’s a side she doesn’t show often, Tesla’s busy with his experiments to notice. So, when he sees it he’s probably taken back as well but at the same time he really doesn’t want to see his wife hurt but he loves how outspoken she is, a loved the new side of her, he definitely likes it. ♥️ and once she’s done Tesla will call his wife his hero and carry her off in his arms.

“Now that situation is over we can go home real quick. Then we can get cozy real quick. Then we can have a few drinks real quick-“

“I know where you’re going with this. And the answer is yes.” “You’re so smart!” When Tesla sees that sweet smile of hers he melts while twirling his curly strand on hair around her finger Tesla couldn’t wait to get home. Thinking to himself that’s how you flirt ♥️ by your lovely, sweet, taking no bs sexy wife.

🎄Rukia-Writes🎄

#Tesla headcanons #Hercules headcanons #record of ragnarok headcanons #shuumatsu no valkyrie headcanons #Thor headcanons

210 notes · View notes

mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

Text

Solving the Moderator's Trilemma with Federation

The classic trilemma goes: “Fast, cheap or good, pick any two.” The Moderator’s Trilemma goes, “Large, diverse userbase; centralized platforms; don’t anger users — pick any two.” The Moderator’s Trilemma is introduced in “Moderating the Fediverse: Content Moderation on Distributed Social Media,” a superb paper from Alan Rozenshtein of U of Minnesota Law, forthcoming in the journal Free Speech Law, available as a prepub on SSRN:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4213674#maincontent

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/04/pick-all-three/#agonism

Rozenshtein proposes a solution (of sorts) to the Moderator’s Trilemma: federation. De-siloing social media, breaking it out of centralized walled gardens and recomposing it as a bunch of small servers run by a diversity of operators with a diversity of content moderation approaches. The Fediverse, in other words.

In Albert Hirschman’s classic treatise Exit, Voice, and Loyalty, stakeholders in an institution who are dissatisfied with its direction have two choices: voice (arguing for changes) or exit (going elsewhere). Rozenshtein argues that Fediverse users (especially users of Mastodon, the most popular part of the Fediverse) have more voice and more “freedom of exit”:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exit,_Voice,_and_Loyalty

Large platforms — think Twitter, Facebook, etc — are very unresponsive to users. Most famously, Facebook polled its users on whether they wanted to be spied on. Faced with overwhelming opposition to commercial surveillance, Facebook ignored the poll result and cranked the surveillance dial up to a million:

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/facebook-ignores-minimal-user-vote-adopts-new-privacy-policy-flna1c7559683

A decade later, Musk performed the same stunt, asking users whether they wanted him to fuck all the way off from the company, then ignored the vox populi, which, in this instance, was not vox Dei:

https://apnews.com/article/elon-musk-twitter-inc-technology-business-8dac8ae023444ef9c37ca1d8fe1c14df

Facebook, Twitter and other walled gardens are designed to be sticky-traps, relying on high switching costs to keep users locked within their garden walls which are really prison walls. Internal memos from the companies reveal that this strategy is deliberate, designed to keep users from defecting even as the service degrades:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

By contrast, the Fediverse is designed for ease of exit. With one click, users can export the list of the accounts they follow, block and mute, as well as the accounts that follow them. With one more click, users can import that data into any other Fediverse server and be back up and running with almost no cost or hassle:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/23/semipermeable-membranes/

Last month, “Nathan,” the volunteer operator of mastodon.lol, announced that he was pulling the plug on the server because he was sick of his users’ arguments about the new Harry Potter game. Many commentators pointed to this as a mark against federated social media, “You can’t rely on random, thin-skinned volunteer sysops for your online social life!”

https://mastodon.lol/@nathan/109836633022272265

But the mastodon.lol saga demonstrates the strength of federated social media, not its weakness. After all, 450 million Twitter users are also at the mercy of a thin-skinned sysop — but when he enshittifies his platform, they can’t just export their data and re-establish their social lives elsewhere in two clicks:

Mastodon.lol shows us how, if you don’t like your host’s content moderation policies, you can exercise voice — even to the extent of making him so upset that he shuts off his server — and where voice fails, exit steps in to fill the gap, providing a soft landing for users who find the moderation policies untenable:

https://doctorow.medium.com/twiddler-1b5c9690cce6

Traditionally, centralization has been posed as beneficial to content moderation. As Rozenshtein writes, a company that can “enclose” its users and lock them in has an incentive to invest in better user experience, while companies whose users can easily migrate to rivals are less invested in those users.

And centralized platforms are more nimble. The operators of centralized systems can add hundreds of knobs and sliders to their back end and twiddle them at will. They act unilaterally, without having to convince other members of a federation to back their changes.

Centralized platforms claim that their most powerful benefit to users is extensive content moderation. As Tarleton Gillespie writes, “Moderation is central to what platforms do, not peripheral… [it] is, in many ways, the commodity that platforms offer”:

https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300261431/custodians-of-the-internet/

Centralized systems claim that their enclosure keeps users safe — from bad code and bad people. Though Rozenshtein doesn’t say so, it’s important to note that this claim is wildly oversold. Platforms routinely fail at preventing abuse:

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/sexual-assault-harassment-bullying-trans-students-say-targeted-school-rcna7803

And they also fail at blocking malicious code:

https://www.scmagazine.com/news/threats/apple-bugs-ios-macos_new_class

But even where platforms do act to “keep users safe,” they fail, thanks to the Moderator’s Trilemma. Setting speech standards for millions or even billions of users is an impossible task. Some users will always feel like speech is being underblocked — while others will feel it’s overblocked (and both will be right!):

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/07/right-or-left-you-should-be-worried-about-big-tech-censorship

And platforms play very fast and loose with their definition of “malicious code” — as when Apple blocked OG App, an Instagram ad-blocker that gave you a simple feed consisting of just the posts from the people you followed:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/05/battery-vampire/#drained

To resolve the Moderator’s Trilemma, we need to embrace subsidiarity: “decisions should be made at the lowest organizational level capable of making such decisions.”

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/07/full-stack-luddites/#subsidiarity

For Rozenshtein, “content-moderation subsidiarity devolves decisions to the individual instances that make up the overall network.” The fact that users can leave a server and set up somewhere else means that when a user gets pissed off enough about a moderation policy, they don’t have to choose between leaving social media or tolerating the policy — they can simply choose another server that’s part of the same federation.

Rozenshtein asks whether Reddit is an example of this, because moderators of individual subreddits are given broad latitude to set their own policies and anyone can fork a subreddit into a competing community with different moderation norms. But Reddit’s devolution is a matter of policy, not architecture — subreddits exist at the sufferance of Reddit’s owners (and Reddit is poised to go public, meaning those owners will include activist investors and large institutions that might not care about your little community). You might be happy about Reddit banning /r_TheDonald, but if they can ban that subreddit, they can ban any subreddit. Policy works well, but fails badly.

By moving subsidiarity into technical architecture, rather than human policy, the fediverse can move from antagonism (the “zero-sum destructiveness” that dominates current online debate) to agonism, where your opponent isn’t an enemy — they are a “political adversary”:

https://www.yalelawjournal.org/article/the-administrative-agon

Here, Rozenshtein cites Aymeric Mansoux and Roel Roscam Abbing’s “Seven Theses On The Fediverse And The Becoming Of Floss”:

https://test.roelof.info/seven-theses.html

For this to happen, different ideologies must be allowed to materialize via different channels and platforms. An important prerequisite is that the goal of political consensus must be abandoned and replaced with conflictual consensus…

So your chosen Mastodon server “may have rules that are far more restrictive than those of the major social media platforms.” But the whole Fediverse “is substantially more speech protective than are any of the major social media platforms, since no user or content can be permanently banned from the network and anyone is free to start an instance that communicates both with the major Mastodon instances and the peripheral, shunned instances.”

A good case-study here is Gab, a Fediverse server by and for far-right cranks, conspiratorialists and white nationalists. Most Fediverse servers have defederated (that is, blocked) Gab, but Gab is still there, and Gab has actually defederated from many of the remaining servers, leaving its users to speak freely — but only to people who want to hear what they have to say.

This is true meaning of “freedom of speech isn’t freedom of reach.” Willing listeners aren’t blocked from willing speakers — but you don’t have the right to be heard by people who don’t want to talk to you:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/10/e2e/#the-censors-pen

Fediverse servers are (thus far) nonprofits or hobbyist sites, and don’t have the same incentives to drive “engagement” to maximize the opportunties to show advertisements. Fediverse applications are frequently designed to be antiviral — that is, to prevent spectacular spreads of information across the system.

It’s possible — likely, even — that future Fediverse servers will be operated by commercial operators seeking to maximize attention in order to maximize revenue — but the users of these servers will still have the freedom of exit that they enjoy on today’s Jeffersonian volunteer-run servers — and so commercial servers will have to either curb their worst impulses or lose their users to better systems.

I’ll note here that this is a progressive story of the benefits of competition — not the capitalist’s fetishization of competition for its own sake, but rather, competition as a means of disciplining capital. It can be readily complemented by discipline through regulation — for example, extending today’s burgeoning crop of data-protection laws to require servers to furnish users with exports of their follow/follower data so they can go elsewhere.

There’s another dimension to decentralized content moderation that exit and voice don’t address — moderating “harmful” content. Some kinds of harm can be mitigated through exit — if a server tolerates hate speech or harassment, you can go elsewhere, preferably somewhere that blocks your previous server.

But there are other kinds of speech that must not exist — either because they are illegal or because they enact harms that can’t be mitigated by going elsewhere (or both). The most spectacular version of this is Child Sex Abuse Material (CSAM), a modern term-of-art to replace the more familiar “child porn.”

Rozenshtein says there are “reasons for optimism” when it comes to the Fediverse’s ability to police this content, though as he unpacked this idea, I found it much weaker than his other material. Rozenshtein proposes that Fediverse hosts could avail themselves of PhotoDNA, Microsoft’s automated scanning tool, to block and purge themselves of CSAM, while noting that this is “hardly foolproof.”

If automated scanning fails, Rozenshtein allows that this could cause “greater consolidation” of Mastodon servers to create the economies of scale to pay for more active, human moderation, which he compares to the consolidation of email that arose as a result of the spam-wars. But the spam-wars have been catastrophic for email as a federated system and produced all kinds of opportunities for mischief by the big players:

https://doctorow.medium.com/dead-letters-73924aa19f9d

Rozenshtein: “There is a tradeoff between a vibrant and diverse communication system and the degree of centralized control that would be necessary to ensure 100% filtering of content. The question, as yet unknown, is how stark that tradeoff is.”

The situation is much simpler when it comes to servers hosted by moderators who are complicit in illegal conduct: “the Fediverse may live in the cloud, its servers, moderators, and users are physically located in nations whose governments are more than capable of enforcing local law.” That is, people who operate “rogue” servers dedicated to facilitating assassination, CSAM, or what-have-you will be arrested, and their servers will be seized.

Fair enough! But of course, this butts up against one of the Fediverse’s shortcomings: it isn’t particularly useful for promoting illegal speech that should be legal, like the communications of sex workers who were purged from the internet en masse following the passage of SESTA/FOSTA. When sex workers tried to establish a new home in the fediverse on a server called Switter, it was effectively crushed.

This simply reinforces the idea that code is no substitute for law, and while code can interpret bad law as damage and route around it, it can only do so for a short while. The best use of speech-enabling code isn’t to avoid the unjust suppression of speech — it’s to organize resistance to that injustice, including, if necessary, the replacement of the governments that enacted it:

https://onezero.medium.com/rubber-hoses-fd685385dcd4

Rozenshtein briefly addresses the question of “filter bubbles,” and notes that there is compelling research that filter bubbles don’t really exist, or at least, aren’t as important to our political lives as once thought:

https://sciendo.com/article/10.2478/nor-2021-0002

Rozenshtein closes by addressing the role policy can play in encouraging the Fediverse. First, he proposes that governments could host their own servers and use them for official communications, as the EU Commission did following Musk’s Twitter takeover:

https://social.network.europa.eu

He endorses interoperability mandates which would required dominant platforms to connect to the fediverse (facilitating their users’ departure), like the ones in the EU’s DSA and DMA, and proposed in US legislation like the ACCESS Act:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/04/eu-digital-markets-acts-interoperability-rule-addresses-important-need-raises

To get a sense of how that would work, check out “Interoperable Facebook,” a video and essay I put together with EFF to act as a kind of “design fiction,” in the form of a user manual for a federated, interoperable Facebook:

https://www.eff.org/interoperablefacebook

He points out that this kind of mandatory interop is a preferable alternative to the unconstitutional (and unworkable!) speech bans proposed by Florida and Texas, which limit the ability of platforms to moderate speech. Indeed, this is an either-or proposition — under the terms proposed by Florida and Texas, the Fediverse couldn’t operate.

This is likewise true of proposals to eliminate Section 230, the law that immunizes platforms from federal liability for most criminal speech acts committed by their users. While this law is incorrectly smeared as a gift to Big Tech, it is most needed by small services that can’t possibly afford to monitor everything their users say:

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

One more recommendation from Rozenshtein: treat interop mandates as an alternative (or adjunct) to antitrust enforcement. Competition agencies could weigh interoperability with the Fediverse by big platforms to determine whether to enforce against them, and enforcement orders could include mandates to interoperate with the Fediverse. This is a much faster remedy than break-ups, which Rozenshtein is dubious of because they are “legally risky” and “controversial.”

To this, I’d add that even for people who would welcome break-ups (like me!) they are sloooow. The breakup of AT&T took 69 years. By contrast, interop remedies would give relief to users right now:

https://onezero.medium.com/jam-to-day-46b74d5b1da4

On Tue (Mar 7), I’m doing a remote talk for TU Wien.

On Mar 9, you can catch me in person in Austin at the UT School of Design and Creative Technologies, and remotely at U Manitoba’s Ethics of Emerging Tech Lecture.

On Mar 10, Rebecca Giblin and I kick off the SXSW reading series.

[Image ID: A trilemma Venn diagram, showing three ovoids in a triangular form, which intersect at their tips, but not in the middle. The ovoids are labeled 'Avoid angering users,' 'Diverse userbase,' 'Centralized platforms.' In the center of the ovoids is the Mastodon mascot. The background is composed of dead Twitter birds on their backs with exes for eyes.]

#pluralistic #cda #cda230 #section 230 #content moderation #federation #intermediary liability #mastodon #fediverse #protocols not platforms #activitypub #moderator's trilemma #agonism #subsidiary

93 notes · View notes