I think the thing that really gets me about the Poseidon and Sally scene in episode 7 is the fact that there is zero resentment between the two of them. Poseidon comes running when Sally calls, acknowledges continuously that Sally is a good mother and validates her feelings. And Sally smiles when she asks Poseidon if he wants to talk to Percy, wants to hear his voice just once. There is no resentment there, no matter the dangerous and dramatic circumstances between them. Just the remembrance of a deep love that can no longer be, and the union of a common goal in keeping the product of that love safe from harm.
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Thinking about the S2 finale from Aziraphale's isolated/distorted perspective truly makes me want to fly into the sun.
Like he's spent his whole time on earth getting proof after proof that Crowley wants to do good, to help people. Despite Crowley's protestations Az KNOWS that he's (from Az's perspective) an angel on the inside.
He's been in love with Crowley and known it since at least 1941 but spent until the apocalypse-that-wasn't repressing the shit out of his feelings for fear of having his everything wrecked by heaven.
After their bodyswap stunt he just barely starts to believe he's safe enough now to act on his feelings and spends four years working up to it, getting better at causally touching Crowley, spending more time together than they ever have before, but terrified the whole time not of reprisal from heaven but of the idea that maybe Crowley doesn't like him back in the same way. He gets way too invested in getting Nina and Maggie together because really it's just an excuse to create further circumstances for him to be close to Crowley and figure out whether he also has romantic feelings for him.
Then the whole thing with Gabriel/Beez happens and he's given-- as far as he knows-- concrete proof that consorting with a demon gets you cast out of heaven. But he's worked up to it anyway and (a bit of conjecture here) I think he was planning to tell Crowley he loves him but then got interrupted by Metatron.
But hey, there you go, even better, he doesn't have to risk anything!! He can make Crowley an angel again -- he clearly WANTS to do good but he's just had to repress those feelings (and Az knows all about how it feels to repress feelings) because his side wouldn't approve. And they can be together AND be safe AND fix heaven!!!
But what's this? Crowley doesn't want that? He's rejecting Aziraphale, rejecting doing good, rejecting saving the earth just like he did the last time things got too hard, at the bandstand. He just wants to run away again because clearly none of this matters to him as much as Aziraphale thought it did.
And then he's kissing him-- the thing he's wanted SO BADLY for SO LONG, the thing he was hoping his ball dance would bring them too-- but it's not because he actually loves him romantically the way that Az does, no, he's just tempting him again, using his demonic ways to try to get Az to give up on everything and run away, just give up and let it all become a puddle of burning goo because he's too afraid to fight, and to express the desire to good that Az knows he has inside him.
And then... Then Aziraphale forgives him anyway. He forgives him because he still loves him, even after all of this, even if Crowley doesn't love him back and has used something so vulnerable against him for his own gain. He forgives him, and Crowley says "don't bother" and he leaves.
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thinking about how interesting the black family could be as a whole but fannon has twisted their personalities so deeply that they’re unrecognizable and refuses to write them as the morally grey/dark characters that they are !!
sirius perpetuating the views of his family in his first year as a gryffindor and having james always correct him. sirius suffering through his teenage years because he wants to please his family so badly so he learns to lie and manipulate but at the same time feels conflicted and wants to be a good person bc … the potters
regulus being a assumed death eater who honestly hated his brother bc he was the perfect heir but now he has to do sirius’ work. give me regulus enjoying hurting people because it pleased his family and he was hungry for acceptance to then later find out voldemort secret and completely freak out and how that affected his morals
bellatrix being the crazy one where all the expectations were on her and craving ambition so when the opportunity arose she took it without hesitance becoming voldemort most trusted follower. but also give me bellatrix being so annoyed and angry at andromeda and sirius for leaving all of them because family should come before everything and do they not see the sacrifices she made for all of them, being the eldest ??
narcissa and her perfect life and how she alone uphold the black family moto while everyone else was either in jail/dead or burned from the family tree so she took it up to herself to carry her family’s name and honor. give me narcissa agreeing with voldemort’s ideals of blood purity but not agreeing with the violence and the killing. give me narcissa seeing andromeda across the room and not being able to reach but wanting too because that’s her big sister but knowing she can’t because she betrayed them all for an inferior being and narcissa kind of hates her but she really doesn’t
give me andromeda missing her sisters so much and wondering how they were doing. give me internal conflict and guilt for leaving her family behind but also no regret because she loved ted and her daughter so much. give me her visiting bella in azkaban because she wanted to see her because she’s still her sister even if she hates her.
give me blacks and their family DRAMA !! give me complicated emotions forged upon years of abuse and sibling competition. missing each other and doing nothing about it so much so that it’s bellatrix who kills sirius which makes it even more heartbreaking. give me their mistaking painful longing with hate.
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I enjoy telling people i prefer old grumpy gays to young giddy ones because it tickled me pink to know we grow old. To know we could get to bitch and just be judged based on our divisiveness as opposed to having it be ascribed to our sexual and gender identities.
I will say I also enjoy seeing grumpy middle aged gays run out of stamina and I enjoy snarky married couples much more to teenage bumbling. I like seeing older man pussy get blown out!
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