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undiscovered-horizon · 1 year

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Ah, wonderful choice, Little Wanderer! Browse the stories, take your time. If there is something else you would like to read, just come back to me. If you don’t find what you’re looking for, make a request to the librarian.

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<

1. Kaz Brekker

➳ "Old dog, new tricks" -> Looking for someone to give you a quote on a stolen painting, you run into an old friend who's less than happy with your way of life.

➳ "The clockmaker, the crow and the mantis" -> Kaz becomes part of an assassin's conspiracy to uncover who paid to have him killed.

➳ "Return to sender" -> When an old admirer continues to bother you with his letters, Kaz makes it his priority to put the fiasco to a stop.

➳ "Apple tree" -> Kaz sometimes hums a melody no one can recognize. The one who sang it to him has bewitched him as much as the tune.

➳ "Agnus Dei" -> You're a Grisha hiding from the Black General. When you reveal your power to save the Crows, Kaz must make a decision: your life or theirs? ➳ "O Rubor Sanguinis" -> Facing the Black General, you must choose whether to do the smart thing or the one you truly crave. Kaz shows affection, just not with words.

➳ "Amendmends" -> Two of your thugs get into a fight at the Crow's club, so you go apologize in person to ensure there won't be any retaliation. Kaz seems suspiciously happy at having the infamous Golden Panther indebted to him. ➳ "Amendments II: The Panther and the Duckling" -> The day comes when you can repay Kaz Brekker with the help of the mysterious "Duckling". Kaz claims you're infuriating but there might be more to his confusing feelings than he realises.

➳ "Espionage" -> You and Kaz pretend to be engaged so you can get him into a banquet and from there - to a safe.

➳ "Four Crow Investigation" -> After Nina notices Kaz's heartbeat quicken when you're around, she recruits three friends to investigate your relationship. ➳ "Four Crow Investigation II: Lovebirds' Outfox" -> Aware of your friends' nosiness, you and Kaz ensure they have hardly believable gossip to share.

➳ "Could you ever fall in love with me?" / "I can’t even fall asleep." -> angst blurb

➳ "Embroidery" -> When his glove gets torn, you're more than happy to sew it back together and add a little detail of your own.

2. Nikolai Lantsov

➳ "Little Sun" -> Return to the sanctuary means a reunion with his beloved Солныщко. Kisses and slaps are exchanged.

➳ "Sparring" -> You face him in an army sparring match. Despite his noble title, Nikolai can't stop himself from sharing suggestive remarks.

➳ "Man of Faith" -> Nikolai's interest in the Sun Summoner makes you jealous but being the sweetheart he is, he's quick to reassure you about his devotion.

➳ "Femme fatale" -> When you reveal how you won the suspiciously heavy bag of coins, Nikolai is overwhelmed with anger at the thought of you being intimate with another man.

➳ "The King and the Swallow" -> Unexpected reunion with his childhood friend and the sworn protector of the royal family takes a dramatic turn when Nikolai inquires about her uncharacteristic, cold demeanour. Confessions are shared - the good ones and the bad ones alike.

➳ "Cinderella" -> Nikolai is a party person, you're not. But he's also a fool in love, so when you quietly disappear, he wastes no time finding you.

➳ "In Emerald Hearts, Emerald Minds" -> When Vasily asks you to forget his half-brother and marry him instead, you escape the Little Palace along Alina. Nikolai realizes something strange is going on when Kaz mentions seeing a similar emerald ring on the woman that came with the Sun Summoner. With how much you and Nikolai have been running in circles to find each other, the reunion aboard Volkvolny feels almost fated.

➳ "Sea shanties" -> Alina witnesses Sturmhond's love for his boatswain. Hurting yourself while fixing the net leads to singing sea shanties and Sturmhond almost kissing the love of his life.

➳ "Who am I to complain?" -> When your parents come to visit, Nikolai finally understands why you've never been keen to talk about them. Being the King and your husband, he isn't afraid to defy them.

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thearchvillain · 1 month

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gardenias. | nikolai

part II (part I)

nikolai lantsov x reader

summary: the setting is a grand event hosted at os alta with the intention of finding a future queen for crown prince vasily. the reader is a merchant's daughter trying to keep a low profile after her parents had dragged her there (against her will) with the hopes that she might catch the prince's attention. she, on the other hand, has different plans. plans that get entirely upheaved by none other than the younger prince nikolai who interrupts her illicit late-night meeting in the winter garden. now she's caught attention of one of the two people whose scrutiny she'd been trying so hard to avoid for the last few days of the event and she's not entirely sure she actually minds it.

preview: He held her gaze for a moment, hardly moving a muscle himself, before he spoke again, his voice firm. “No games. Remember?” The huff that left her might have been a chuckle, only completely devoid of any humour. She stared down at him for a moment, eyes glassy and tired, like it had all just caught up to her and she was finally crumbling. “I almost believe you. I think it’s the face. It’s a kind one.” Her eyes searched his face, clinical, like one would observe a painting of him on the gallery wall. “Or maybe you’re just handsome.” “Why, thank you.” He offered her his best attempt at a self-assured smirk and decided it fell flat. Even his ego was dampened by the moment, which was a feat in itself. He sighed. “What did they do to you?” “Is that a rhetorical question?” Kind of. “Do you want to answer it?” She shook her head. “Then it was rhetorical.”

word count: 3.4k (compared to 5k in the 1st part this is tiny)

pinterest 📸

tropes/warnings: not cannon, adult language

a/n: well, this is like a year too late to the game, but i could not get it out of my head. keep in mind that pieces of information and explanations are left out intentionally, we are only aware of what nikolai is aware of (which is not much, as he'll come to find out) and yes, i might have engineered some ✨drama✨ to bring them closer together emotionally, so we don't all get stuck on surface attraction and vague suspicions

nikolai's POV

If one imagined the Court to be an organism - which was not a hard thing to do, given how reliably it behaved - then the whispers of its courtiers were the lifeblood, coursing steadily through its golden vessels. And if rumours were a sickness, then one could hardly be surprised to see them spread to every last corner of this monstrous creature as quickly and reliably as a plague would. Which was very quick, indeed.

Nikolai had hardly managed to get his hands on a plate of some highly garnished and questionably nutritious food before the whispers reached him. It was not a particularly subtle affair, as these things rarely were, and Nikolai had a sneaking suspicion this was entirely by design. He didn’t think he imagined that the ladies had been standing a bit further away just a moment ago, and he knew with certainty that as far as whispers went, these could hardly be classified as hushed. They made a show of leaning in and raising delicate hands to their lips, but it was the eyes that betrayed them - sharp and quick, glossy with excitement, and slipping surreptitiously in his direction as if to check if he was listening. He was.

And if he took his overly-decorated food elsewhere in the garden, then the mill would start all over again, like a broken melody. She does have that look about her. Her poor parents, they’d say, but Nikolai did not believe their pity. It was, he thought, just a well-aimed knife. Hush, someone’s mother reprimanded, voice sharp, her mother’s right there. But by the looks of her, Nikolai doubted it was anything Mrs Braam hadn’t heard before. She sat, straight-backed and completely devoid of colour, at one of the wrought-iron tables set around the palace gardens. There was an abandoned tart on the plate in front of her, forgotten and replaced by the glass of brandy she gripped with a shaky hand, and next to her was an older Kerch woman who was valiantly attempting to drown out the whispers with conversation. Nikolai averted his gaze, unwilling to participate in this cruel charade.

But when his gaze landed in the distance it caught, as if on a shard of glass, on the pale green silk of her dress. Around her, a few ladies and their handmaids had formed a tactical formation of sorts, attack dogs in the finest silks, their eyes sharp and vaguely threatening. If even one of them caught someone staring, they’d turn in unison like hounds that scented blood and stare them down into submission, then turn back around and smile sweetly at Miss Braam, as if nothing had just transpired. Nikolai was therefore very careful to look only when one of them was taking a shot with her mallet, lest he meet the end of one of those glares.

And so he watched her in increments, like a series of paintings of an obsessed artist - the twist of her body as she swung her mallet, the errant lock of her hair cascading over her shoulder, the lovely twist of her smile when the ball went through the hoop. The fourth time he looked she was leaning on her mallet, watching the girl in purple take her shot, and he realised she had her mother’s eyes and none of her pallor. There was a brush of colour high atop her cheekbones so that in her green dress she looked like a maiden of spring, vivid in her liveliness. If she was concerned with the gossip, she did not show it. And when she caught him looking the fifth time, she met his eyes the same way she did last night in the greenhouse, steady and unflinching. And then she smiled.

_____________________________

She was smiling again when she entered the library in a flurry of silk later that afternoon, her voice light as she called out to the librarian, “Have you found it?”

Nikolai flipped a page, eyes skimming the blueprints and the calculations, and waited for her to notice him. If it was a bit theatrical, he blamed it on the boredom and not the fact that her irritation was a source of great amusement for him. And he knew before she even let out an annoyed huff, that she was bound to be irritated by his ploy.

“Your Highness.” Her voice was even, though it seemed to require not an unsubstantial amount of effort to keep it so. “I didn’t know you were using the library.”

Nikolai flipped another page and looked up at her only long enough to offer her a smirk. “No need to play coy, Miss Braam. I’ve sent everyone away. We’re alone.”

“Wonderful,” she said dryly and shut the door behind her, pressing her back against it. Nikolai allowed himself a private, self-satisfied smile. If she had been so keen on getting away from him she could’ve simply walked back out, but she hadn’t. “And I presume you were also the one that sent someone to tell me the book I was looking for was found?”

“Catching on quick.” Finally, Nikolai shut the book he was perusing and looked up at her. She was wearing the same dress she wore to brunch, the colour a muted jade in the soft, warm shadows of the library. And when he looked up to her face she had her eyebrow raised, like a school-teacher that had caught him staring. Nikolai offered his best boyish smile. “You look lovely.”

“Oh, shut it.” It was not the response he usually got, but he was still amused as he watched her turn her back on him and start fiddling with the lock. He had half a mind to ask if she was blushing again but she jerked that pin in place with such ferocity that he decided against it. Besides, it was answer enough.

Instead, he said, “And a personality to match it.”

She checked the door once, then jerked it again for good measure, and finally when she was satisfied that no one could enter and catch them speaking, she turned around and levelled him with a look. “Careful, I might decide to be polite and bore you out of your mind.”

“You’d combust.”

She pursed her lips but did not deny it. “What do you want?”

Nikolai uncrossed and crossed his ankles again, sinking deeper into his sprawl across one of the chairs that were neatly arranged around a long table, his gaze following her as she made her way towards him. “Only the pleasure of your company.” Then, his voice gone low and serious, he continued, “That, and to ask how you were doing — after the brunch, I mean.”

“Oh, that.” For a moment he saw something cross her features, a look of startled confusion, as if she hadn’t quite expected him to ask, or at least not in such a way. Or maybe he was just imagining things because next he knew she was propping her hip against the table and looking distinctly unconcerned. “As any scandalous woman - basking in the attention, utterly debauched.”

He must have frowned or made some sort of unstudied expression because suddenly she was laughing at him and using the brief moment of confusion to lean forward and steal the book from his lap. She smelled like something sweet and flowery, like a late summer afternoon.

There was a tone of playful accusation in her voice as she said, “So they did find the book.”

He ignored it. “You don’t seem particularly upset.” It was hard to tell if it was a statement or a question, but even Nikolai could not push down the bewilderment that coloured his words.

Y/N, to her credit, didn’t seem to mind his confusion. She moved one of the chairs and sat on the edge of the table, legs crossed, the book open across her lap as she ran her fingertips along one of the blueprints. “It would be quite counterproductive to be upset,” she said conversationally, flipping a page, “given that I’ve started the rumour myself.”

Slowly, Nikolai eased himself back into his chair, allowing the confession to settle over him, eyes never quite leaving her. He could tell from the too-casual way she flipped the pages that she was very much aware of his gaze and very intent on pretending she wasn’t.

He lost his patience after she flipped the fourth page. “How?”

She stroked the edge of the book fondly, like it was a pet or a lover, and took her time with flipping the page before she deigned to answer him. “I made sure to be seen sneaking into my room last night. Then I told one of my maids to talk about a handsome lieutenant she’d seen sneaking around the place at roughly the same time.” She flipped another page and sighed happily at whatever she saw on it. “Anyway, I figured someone would piece it together into a scandal sooner or later. By breakfast, the story was that we were seen together, and by brunch, well…” She looked up at him and smirked. “I’ll spare you the lurid details.”

Nikolai was rather proud of the way he didn’t wonder about the lurid details and instead focused on the matter at hand. “Why?”

“I wish to spare your princely sensibility.” She was flipping the pages and ignoring him again, though he could tell she was thoroughly amused by the game she was playing from the way the corner of her lip twitched slightly.

He drew a furtive breath in through his nose and closed his eyes to steel himself against the taunts. He was not fifteen anymore, he could hold it together. “No, I meant why in the name of Saints would you do that?”

“I do very little in the name of Saints or Ghezen these days, Your Highness.” Nikolai did not doubt that. She let the book fall open on her lap and leaned back against her hands, watching him thoughtfully. Then she shrugged and said, rather matter-of-fact, “I told you I bite when cornered.”

“Yes, but I didn’t think that meant you’d bite yourself.”

There was something vaguely unsettling at the way she smiled at him then. A woman cornered, a desperate snap of the teeth, a final show of defiance. Her voice was oddly flat in comparison as she said, “An animal will chew its own leg off to be free.”

For a moment, all Nikolai could do was stare. It occurred to him only then that the two of them seemed to have in mind two vastly different versions of last night’s events. He felt that on an intellectual level, this was quite a jump from the playful threat he’d left her with last night. His hands gripped the armrests, but he could not feel his fingertips, and for a minute he seemed to be overly aware of the blood rushing through his ears and the steady beat of his heart. He could not hear his stumbling thoughts over the sound of it.

Then he heard himself say, as if from far away, “Is that what you think of me? That this had been my intention?”

“I think,” she said, having gone very still where she sat, “that I’m not going to play your game.”

The air between them shifted, growing raw and strange as if someone had cast a strange spell over it. Belatedly, Nikolai realised that this was not the question he’d truly meant to ask, but he also knew that she wouldn’t have answered it either way. Not when her spine was so rigid and her fingers white-knuckled where she wrapped them around the edge of the table, not when she looked at him carefully as if half-expecting him to lash out. What are you so afraid of? He’d meant to say. But he thought she might not know the answer anyway, or that the answer would simply be everything.

Slowly he reached up to rub his face, careful not to shift from his spot and startle her. Then he leaned his head back against the backrest of his chair and observed the point where the tall shelves met the ornate ceiling. The silence between them felt like being underwater, still and suffocating.

“Okay,” he said after a while, to no one in particular. Then he drew a breath and looked back down at her. “Alright. No games.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Just like that?”

“Just like that.” He was looking at her down his lashes, head still tipped back, his voice carefully bland. She looked like she might object, so he continued, “So let me just make this clear. You attempted to shoot your reputation to pieces because you thought that would stop me from approaching you tonight?”

She hid her uncertainty like a snake hid its legs, but Nikolai saw it flash briefly across her features before she pressed her lips together and stared him down. “You and the others. But mostly you, yes.”

“You lashed out without thinking, didn’t you?”

A muscle feathered in her jaw, but she kept looking at him, tenaciously stubborn. If she was afraid of him still, she did a very good job at hiding it. Which, Nikolai thought, was a pattern. “What does it matter?” she asked, defensive.

“It matters because I didn’t think you’d go about it so self-destructively. And that’s on me.” He pushed himself up from the chair, a bit too quickly, and regretted it the instant he saw her flinch. He froze for a moment, allowing the uncomfortable feeling of it to wash over him and fuel his determination, before he turned away and headed for the door. “I’ll fix it.”

“What? No.” From somewhere behind him he heard her produce a high-pitched, panicked noise followed by the sound of her feet scurrying across the library. By the time she caught him, he was two-thirds of the way out. “Stop. No. Nikolai!”

As he felt her fingers dig into his wrist he thought, quite obtusely, that her hands seemed deceptively delicate from afar. Then he voiced the very next, stupid thing that came to his mind. “Is that all it took for you to call me by my name?”

She tugged at his wrist for good measure, clearly frustrated, then let go when she was sure he’d stopped attempting to leave. “What will you do?” she ground out after a moment, her breath quickened. Nikolai knew that if he reached out to touch the inside of her wrist again he’d feel the same panicked flutter of her pulse. He held back.

“I’ll discredit the source. Which shouldn’t be hard since your sources are pitifully unreliable.” He shrugged, falling easily back onto his confidence. “Or I’ll simply tell them all to shut up.”

“That’s not how that works.”

“Isn’t it?” He smiled down at her, amused by the way she had planted herself firmly between him and the door as if he couldn’t simply go around her. “Just trust me. I’ll make it go away.”

“Well, that would entirely defeat the purpose of why I did it!”

It took an astronomical amount of effort for him not to laugh, though by the look she shot him the amusement must have slipped past his defences. He looked at the door above her head and did his best to collect himself before he answered. “Don’t say I didn’t try to spare your feelings.” He lowered his gaze back down to her. “But I would have asked you to dance even if they called you the whore of Ketterdam. So it was a moot point anyway.”

He noted again, the same way he had last night, that her blush seemed to creep up on her quickly and that it started not on her cheeks, but below, as a smattering of colour just beneath her collarbones. It rose like the tide, but she did not let him see it reach her cheeks, and instead let out a frustrated sigh before going around him. Nikolai turned to watch her as she went back to the table and threw herself down into the chair, sullen and rosy-cheeked.

“So the bottom line is that I have no choice?” she said eventually, looking up from her hands, her voice thin and tired.

Nikolai’s amusement melted into confusion. “What?” He’d miscalculated, again.

This seemed to frustrate her further because she shot him such a vicious glare that he nearly flinched from it. “Oh, don’t play stupid. You’ve got me cornered. Either I confess or you throw me out into the limelight tonight. Is that what you want to hear? That you win?” Whatever energy she had poured into this display of ferociousness seemed to drain her completely, because in the end she just slumped back into the chair and closed her eyes. “Fine then. You win.”

Nikolai just stared at her, confused, and it was a while before he remembered that he had use of his limbs and that he could just walk over to her. He did so slowly, cautiously, like one would approach a snared animal, before lowering himself into a crouch in front of her. “Hey Ketterdam?” She did not respond. “Look at me.”

She seemed so fragile then, eyelids fluttering with the effort to keep them closed, the skin thin and so translucent that he could see the bluish outlines of the fine vessels beneath it. Nikolai had no idea how she’d extrapolated all that from their conversation, but he suspected she’d been spinning herself into a frenzy since last night. He thought that if he looked at it from her side, and at an angle, he might see the logic behind it. If she felt her hands were tied and she’d tried to bite her way out of it, then he supposed what he’d just done must’ve felt like having her mouth taped shut. He ignored the faint wave of nausea that rolled over him then. She opened her eyes, so slightly that Nikolai might have missed it had he not been right in front of her, looking for the smallest twitch of muscles on her face. He held her gaze for a moment, hardly moving a muscle himself, before he spoke again, his voice firm. “No games. Remember?”

The huff that left her might have been a chuckle, only completely devoid of any humour. She stared down at him for a moment, eyes glassy and tired, like it had all just caught up to her and she was finally crumbling. “I almost believe you. I think it’s the face. It’s a kind one.” Her eyes searched his face, clinical, like one would observe a painting of him on the gallery wall. “Or maybe you’re just handsome.”

“Why, thank you.” He offered her his best attempt at a self-assured smirk and decided it fell flat. Even his ego was dampened by the moment, which was a feat in itself. He sighed. “What did they do to you?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?”

Kind of. “Do you want to answer it?”

She shook her head.

“Then it was rhetorical.” Nikolai leaned his elbow against the table, steadying himself, and propped his cheek against his hand as he looked sideways at her. She seemed calmer now, if entirely deflated. “At least now I know you’re not mounting a coup d'état,” he supplied, unhelpfully.

She made a derisive sound, and it took him a second to realise it was a snort. “Because I’m such a sorry mess? Yes, you’re right, nothing so grandiose.” Her fingers slipped absentmindedly across the book that was left forgotten on the table. “You could though, if you wanted to. I think.”

“Yeah, probably.” This time, he did smirk properly. Then he patted the armrest of her chair and pushed himself up. “Now go rest. And wear something ugly tonight, so I won’t even be tempted to look your way.”

This, he found, caught her attention, because her gaze snapped to him almost instantly, suddenly alert. “What’s the catch?”

“Saints, you would not believe me if I told you the Sun set in the West, would you?”

She didn’t answer that, just raised one delicate, precise eyebrow. Well, at least she didn’t look so defeated anymore, which Nikolai decided he’d take as a win.

“Try not to start any rumours in the meantime.” He winked at her, tapping his fingers against the table before he turned to leave the library. “One fire at a time.”

tags (i'm so sorry to bother you if you completely forgot about this 😭): @star-flecked-soul ; @meg-the-second-greatest ; @plowdenkm ; @londongirlcamefallingdown ; @ all the lovely anons in my inbox! <3

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov x y/n #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #nikolai x you #nikolai x y/n #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov my beloved #gardenias

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whencyclopedia · 3 months

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Ivan III of Russia

Ivan III of Russia (Ivan the Great) was the Grand Prince of Moscow and Russia from 1462 to 1505. Ivan III was born in 1440 to Grand Prince Vasily II of Moscow (r. 1425-1462) and his wife, Maria Borovsk (l. c. 1420-1485). He served as co-ruler for his blind father from 1450 until he became regent in 1462.

#History #IvanIIIOfRussia

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appleandsnow · 3 months

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By your side

Summary: the 5 times Nikolai was by your side and the one time he wasn't

Tags: hanahaki au, enemies to lovers, childhood friends to lovers.

WC: 1400 words.

(i)

You're old enough to understand him but not old enough to know him. That's the age at which you learn to hate Nikolai Lantsov.

He sits in your spot in the kitchen, looking for all the world as though he were heartbroken and tired.

It was your spot because it kept you away from the work and bustle while giving you a perfect view of your mother - her being one of the many cooks/pastry chefs in the palace.

It was something you liked to brag about when other kids tried to be mean - that your mum was a valued servant amongst royalty but you never told them that she'd sneak you the badly shaped pastries or any leftover filling. That would lead to theft or worse - accusations of treason.

You were a child. Not an idiot.

So when you walk in with marbles in your hand and see the boy for the first time, you understand that he's the kid that stays indoors.

He looked like the kind of weed that kept his clothes clean on purpose.

No wonder his mother trusted him with clothing like that!

So when you sit in a different corner, you've already grown to hate the prince and when your mum gives him a well made pastry and you none, you hate him even more.

Nikolai knows exactly what to make of you as you sit away and send him glares and he hates you for it.

You're old enough to understand the second prince of Ravka but not old enough to know him; that's the age at which you learn to hate him

(ii)

You take to calling him "the delicate darling" when your mum insists on fussing over the boy.

It's true that he never came back to the kitchens but it's also true that the isolated instance was enough for your mum to take to him and worry about him.

You never call him that to anyone but your mum as the joke of the name was in calling him 'delicate' and no member of royalty was ever to be spoken of in terms of frailty. It could lead to you being imprisoned but that doesn't stop you from committing treason in the privacy of your mum's company.

When she peers around the door in an empty room and rushes to your side, you know there's been talk.

There had been talk. Of Nikolai.

Everyone had just found out of why the second prince had been so othered his whole life.

He was a bastard child.

No one knew what to make of the news but no one was surprised either. In hindsight, it seemed something too obvious.

What else could justify the constant sobriety where Vasili was so blatant and spoilt?

You stop calling him "the delicate darling".

Your mum notices.

(iii)

The second prince of Ravka; Nikolai is beautiful.

You're his personal servant and know of his reclusive tendencies better than anyone could hope to.

You spend hours and days carrying and fetching inks, pens, books, papers, maps and any snacks within palace bounds but there are days where you can't grudge his highness.

Some days, he was too beautiful to be blamed.

You had easily imagined him as a painting held on the walls for the centuries to come but now you could imagine him as someone the young ones would gawk at. Because you'd gawked at him.

Just once and then you'd made sure to stomp on the urge but you had doen it -much to your humiliation.

His highness had decided to go horse riding, making his mother weep for joy and call him 'wise'.

Truly. A family of idiots.

You'd gotten his things and brought the horse to hime. With practice, he took the reins and got onto the dreadful thing and though there had been no talk, he'd made you still.

The Prince; Nikolai was beautiful.

The navy against his skin.

His dark eyes against his fair hair.

He might as well have been a sculpture!

He rushes away and you're left standing there with a knot in your sternum.

Nikolai? was beautiful?

Nikolai was beautiful.

You shove the knot away and keep it shoved away.

(iv)

He befriends you.

or, in earnest, he let you sit down while he spent hours poring overlooks in the library.

You don't lounge like he does but at least you're sitting down.

Thenhe let's you take blank papers, then from his tea tray and then from his pile of foreign candy.

You don't dare to talk to him. It was far beyond you to risk your job but Nikolai was either unaware or unbothered of his treatment towards you.

It's one of the many days with his reclusive tendencies when he asks you something.

"What is it like? To go out with people while doing your duties?"

"I don't understand"

He notices the lack of judgement. Searching your face, he elaborates "My mother insists I befriend other royals but I don't see the charm of it? Wouldn't I be chattering needlessly then? What difference does it make when I don't like them?".

Any opinion here would be treason. To a prince no less.

You keep quiet.

He sighs. "I understand. What is it that your friends do that you can't do at work? Besides being honest."

It's hard to keep your faces still.

Neither if you succeeds.

"Nicknames. We have nicknames while we go about our duties."

"Call me Kolya"

You can't tell if he means to ask you that as a servant or a confidant.

"At least now; in private. Please?"

You hope he doesn't insist after this, so you indulge him.

"Kolya"

He's beautiful when he smiles.

(v)

Kolya.

A single invented word.

Kolya.

Somethjng he hasn't been called before.

Kolya.

Somethkng melodic.

Kolya.

A gift from a friend.

Kolya.

Him.

He wants to lock the word and keep it with him.

Tie it to a locket, maybe.

Burn it into his inner arm.

Something, anything to keep it safe.

"Kolya"

You don't miss that he fights a smile.

"Yes?".

Ever the prince.

"Why flying?" You keep your voice hushed and words restrained. He doesn't

"Well, corny as it is - I value my freedom"

"Flying is.... freedom?"

How could a prince long for freedom?

"You understand. Don't you?"

And now, you do understand.

The whispered 'sobachka'.

The backhanded compliments.

The snobbery that seemed to keep him apart.

The insistence on his 'blood rights'.

Freedom.

You hadn't thought of this before. Hadn't thought of having an entire world and no one to split with.

"Isn't the sky lonely too?"

You face away and school your expressions.

Someone had rustled in.

(vi)

He runs away.

Kolya runs away and all you feel is pride.

He does it on the pretext of exploring the forest for a few days.

He packs his necessities. Gets on a horse. And he's gone.

You know because he's told you so and asked of your help and because he said he'd leave you something in the forest.

Its as dusk falls that you set out on his trail.

You know that he won't risk your job, so, you agree.

In a few days, soldiers would be sent our with lanterns with the hopes that the prince was lost and lying face first and drunk in the dirt.

It would be bittersweet to be the only one who knew.

Right now, you follow his trail deep into the woods and find your gift.

It was a pouch of the foreign candy you loved more than Nikolai did.

Holding the tattered pouch, made precisely to look as unlike royalty as possible, you feel something swell in your sternum and up your lungs.

You don't cry.

You cough up petals.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #sturmhond #sturmhond x reader #hanahaki au #enemies to lovers #5 + 1 fic

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tiny-librarian · 1 year

Photo

Royal Birthdays for today, March 10th:

Qian Liu, King of Wuyue, 852

Vasily II, Grand Prince of Moscow, 1415

Ferdinand II, King of Aragon, 1452

Ferdinand I, Holy Roman Emperor, 1503

Maria Elizabeth of Sweden, , 1596

Louise of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, Queen of Prussia, 1776

Alexander III, Tsar of Russia, 1845

Prince Edward, Duke of Edinburgh, 1964

#prince edward #alexander iii #Louise of Mecklenburg-Strelitz #ferdinand i #ferdinand ii #vasily ii #qian liu #Maria Elizabeth of Sweden #royal birthdays #long live the queue

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graceofromanovs · 8 months

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GODPARENTS OF NICHOLAS II

Born during his grandfather's reign on 18 May (New Style) 1868 at the Alexander Palace, Tsarkoe Selo in Saint Petersburg. He was the eldest son of Alexander III and his wife Maria Feodorovna (then, the Tsarevich and Tsarina of Russia). He was christened on 1 June at the Chapel of the Resurrection of the Catherine Palace at Tsarskoe Selo, by the confessor of the imperial family, protopresbyter Vasily Borisovich Bazhanov. His godparents were:

ALEXANDER II, EMPEROR OF RUSSIA - his paternal grandfather, the Russian Emperor stood as one of the godparents. He became the Emperor of All Russia in 1855. Alexander’s most significant reform as emperor was the emancipation of Russia’s serfs in 1861, for which he is known as Alexander the Liberator. He was assassinated in 1881 when the young Nicholas was only 12 years-old, to which he became the heir apparent upon his death.

PRINCESS MARIE OF HESSE AND BY RHINE, EMPRESS MARIA ALEXANDROVNA OF RUSSIA - his paternal grandmother, the consort of Emperor Alexander II, was another of his godparents. Known for her intellect, she was one of the founders of the Russian Red Cross Society. However, she suffered from tuberculosis from 1863 and spent long stays in southern Europe to avoid harsh winters. Although she and her husband were unofficially separated sometime after the death of their eldest son, Maria was treated with respect and love by her surviving family. Maria passed away from illness when the young Nicholas was still a child.

PRINCESS LOUISE OF HESSE-KASSEL, QUEEN CONSORT OF DENMARK - his maternal grandmother was listed as one of his godparents. Louise became the Queen consort of Denmark upon her husband's - King Christian IX - accession in 1863, just few years before her grandson Nicholas' birth. She, herself, was a niece of another King of Denmark (Christian VIII). The great dynastic success of Louise's six children was to a great extent a result of Louise's own ambitions - through them, she was a grandmother of not only the future Tsar of Russia (Nicholas II), but also that of King George V of the United Kingdom; King Constantine I of Greece; King Christian X of Denmark, and King Harken VII of Norway.

GRAND DUCHESS ELENA PAVLOVNA OF RUSSIA - his great-great-aunt, the wife of the late Grand Duke Michael Pavlovich, was one of his godparents. Born as Princess Charlotte of Württemberg, she became a close friend of his grandmother the Empress Maria Alexandrovna, and was known as an intellectual. She was also considered the most exceptional woman in the imperial family since Catherine the Great.

KING FREDERICK VIII OF DENMARK - then, the Crown Prince, his maternal uncle stood as one of his godparents. During the long reign of his father, he was largely excluded from influence and political power. Upon his father's death in 1906, he acceded to the throne at the advanced age of 62. In many ways, Frederick VIII was a liberal monarch who was much more favorable to the new parliamentary system introduced in 1901 than his father had been, being reform-minded and democratically inclined.

Source

#nicholas ii #history #godparents #alexander ii #maria alexandrovna

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homomenhommes · 1 month

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THIS DAY IN GAY HISTO

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … March 25

1252 – Conrad, Bavarian royalty, born (d.1268); called the Younger or the Boy, but usually known by the diminutive Conradin, was the Duke of Swabia (1254-1268, as Conrad IV), King of Jerusalem (1254-1268, as Conrad III), and King of Sicily (1254-1258 as Conrad II). He was born in Wolfstein, Bavaria, son of Conrand IV of Germany. He is sometimes known as Conrad V, though he never succeeded his father in Germany.

Conradin was the last legitimate Hohenstaufen, tafter the assassination of Conrad IV. We know little of his appearance and character except that he was "as beautiful as Absalom and spoke good Latin".

While he was still a child in Germany, his uncle Manfred made himself king of Sicily (1258), but when Manfred died eight years later, the kingdom was seized by Charles of Anjou. Conradin was persuaded to come to Italy to recover his kingdom, and, accompanied by his lover, Frederick of Baden, titular Duke of Austria, he gained the support of several Italian cities.

In the end, however, Conradin was captured by Charles, tried as a traitor and beheaded. His lover, Frederick, at his own request, was executed with him. Conradin was just 16; Frederick was 21. To this day Gay lovers make pilgrimages to the church of the monastery of Santa Maria del Carmine at Naples, where the two young men were laid to rest, together.

1479 – Grand Prince Vasily III of Moscow, (d.1533), Prince and military general. Vasily was homosexual throughout his life. He went to the extent of announcing this fact to other gay men of his time by shaving off his beard when his twenty-year marriage to his first wife was terminated - being beardless was a sort of gay password at the time.

During Vasily's second marriage, he was able to perform his conjugal duties only when an officer of his guard joined him and his wife in bed in the nude.

1922 – Tobias Schneebaum (d.2005) was an American artist, anthropologist, and AIDS activist. He is best known for his experiences living, and traveling among the Harakmbut people of Peru, and the Asmat people of Papua, Western New Guinea, Indonesia then known as Irian Jaya.

He was born on Manhattan's Lower East Side and grew up in Brooklyn. In 1939 he graduated from the Stuyvesant High School, moving on to the City College of New York, graduating in 1943 after having majored in mathematics and art. During World War II he served as a radar repairman in the U.S. Army.

In 1947, after briefly studying painting with Rufino Tamayo at the Brooklyn Museum of Art, Schneebaum went to live and paint in Mexico for three years, living among the Lacandon tribe. In 1955 he won a Fulbright fellowship to travel and paint in Peru. After hitch-hiking from New York to Peru, he lived with the Harakmbut people for seven months, where he slept with his male subjects and claimed to have joined the tribe in cannibalism on one occasion.

The Harakmbut treated him well. They taught him words from their language and otherwise communicated through gesture. They shared their food with him and decorated his body in red pigments. At night in their communal hut, the Arakmbut men welcomed him into a warm body pile. These entanglements often turned sexual, to Schneebaum's delight. As he would later write, he had at last found a place where people "would accept me, teach me how to live without a feeling of aloneness, teach me love and allow for my sexuality."

Until 1970 he was the designer at Tiber Press, then in 1973 he embarked on his third overseas trip, to Irian Jaya in South East Asia, living with the Asmat people on the south-western coast. He helped establish the Asmat Museum of Culture and Progress. Schneebaum would return there in 1995 to revisit a former lover, named Aipit. He recounted his journey into the jungles of Peru in the 1961 memoir Keep the River on Your Right. In 1999, he revisited both Irian Jaya and Peru for a documentary film, also titled Keep the River on Your Right.

Schneebaum spent the final years of his life in Westbeth Artists Community, an artists' commune in Greenwich Village, and died in 2005 in Great Neck, New York. He bequeathed his renowned Asmat shield collection to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City and his personal papers are preserved within the Jean-Nickolaus Tretter Collection in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Studies.

1942 – Richard O'Brien (born Richard Timothy Smith in Cheltenham, England) is a writer, actor, television presenter and theatre performer. He is perhaps best know known for writing the cult musical The Rocky Horror Show and for his role in presenting the popular TV show The Crystal Maze.

In addition to writing The Rocky Horror Show O'Brien also starred in its 1975 film adaptation The Rocky Horror Picture Show as the character Riff Raff. The stage show has been in almost continuous production since, and the cinematic version is one of the best known and most ardently followed cult films of all time.

In 1952, he emigrated with his family to Tauranga, New Zealand where his father had purchased a sheep farm. After learning how to ride horses, a skill which provided him with his break into the film industry as a stuntman in Carry On Cowboy, and developing a keen interest in comic books and horror films, he returned to England in 1964. Upon launching his acting career he changed his name to O'Brien — his mother's maiden name — as there was already an actor named Richard Smith.

He joined several stage productions as an actor without ever excelling or receiving critical acclaim, but that was not his primary objective. In 1972, he met director Jim Sharman who would help make his draft of a gothic-themed, schlock-horror comic-book fantasy romp into a reality. The script took O'Brien 6 months to write, Sharman suggested changing the working title They Came from Denton High to The Rocky Horror Show and the show opened in June 1973.

He became a serial bit-part actor in cult films and has appeared in notable movies such as Flash Gordon (1980), Dark City (1998) and Dungeons & Dragons (2000).

O'Brien has married twice and fathered three children. In a 2009 interview he spoke about an ongoing struggle to reconcile cultural gender roles and described himself as being transgender or possible third sex. O'Brien stated, 'There is a continuum between male and female. Some are hard-wired one way or another, I'm in between.' He expounded on this in a 2013 interview where he talked about using oestrogen for the previous decade, and that he views himself as 70% male and 30% female.

Elton John and David Furnish.

1947 – Elton John, English singer and songwriter, born; (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight) is an English pop/rock singer, composer, and pianist.

In his four decade career, John has been one of the dominant forces in rock and popular music, especially during the 1970s. He has sold more than 250 million albums, and over one hundred million singles, making him one of the most successful artists of all time. He has more than 50 Top 40 hits including seven consecutive #1 U.S. albums, 59 Top 40 singles, 16 Top 10, 4 #2 hits, and nine #1 hits. He has won five Grammy awards and one Academy Award. His success has had a profound impact on popular music and has contributed to the continued popularity of the piano in rock and roll. In 2004, Rolling Stone ranked him #49 on their list of the 100 Greatest Artists Of All Time.

In the late 1960s, John was engaged to be married to his first lover, secretary Linda Woodrow, who is mentioned in the song "Someone Saved My Life Tonight". He married German recording engineer Renate Blauel in 1984, in Darling Point, Sydney, with speculation that the marriage was a cover for his homosexuality. John had come out as bisexual in a 1976 interview with Rolling Stone, but after his divorce from Blauel in 1988 he told the magazine that he was "comfortable" being gay. Elton has a new look, and a sharp wit. "Ever since I had that interview in which I said I was bisexual," he grins, "it seems twice as many people wave at me on the streets."

In 1993, John began a relationship with Canadian David Furnish, a former advertising executive and now filmmaker. John and Furnish entered a civil partnership in 2005. They held a low-key ceremony at the Windsor Guildhall, followed by a lavish party at their Berkshire mansion, thought to have cost £1 million. Their son, Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John, was born to a surrogate mother in December 2010 in California. John and Furnish chose Lady Gaga, magazine editor Ingrid Sischy, and Sichy's partner Sandy Brant as Zachary's godmothers

John was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994. He has been heavily involved in the fight against HIV-AIDS since the late 1980s and was knighted in 1998. He continues to be a champion for the LGBT social movements.

1958 – Today's the birthday of the award-winning British film and music-video director and screenwriter John Maybury. He directed the groundbreaking music video that made Sinead O'Connor a star: Nothing Compares 2U. In 2005 he was listed as one of the 100 most influential Gay and Lesbian people in Britain.

He studied at North East London Polytechnic and St Martins and designed sets for Derek Jarman's 'Jubilee', and worked with him on 'The Last of England', 'War Requiem' and 'The Tempest'.

In 1998 he produced his first full length feature Love Is the Devil: Study for a Portrait of Francis Bacon, a biopic starring Derek Jacobi and Daniel Craig (showing all in a lingering full-frontal). The film was screened in the Un Certain Regard section at the 1998 Cannes Film Festival. In 2005 he directed The Jacket with Adrien Brody and Keira Knightley. In 2008 his film The Edge of Love, a biopic on the life of Welsh poet Dylan Thomas starring Sienna Miller, Cillian Murphy, Matthew Rhys and Keira Knightley premiered. He also directed the final episode of the critically acclaimed HBO/BBC Rome series.

1962 – Thom Bierdz, openly gay American soap opera star and painter, born; Born in Kenosha, Wisconsin, this American actor is best known for his role as Phillip Chancellor III on The Young and The Restless, appearing from 1986 to 1989 and returning for one "dream sequence" in 2004.

Shortly after Thom left Y&R to pursue movie roles, his youngest brother Troy, a paranoid schizophrenic, beat their mother to death with a baseball bat. He is currently serving a life sentence in a Wisconsin prison. In May 2002, his other brother Craig committed suicide. Bierdz had devoted most of his time to painting in recent years, although he has also written a memoir entitled "Forgiving Troy."

On May 15, 2009, Bierdz re-appeared in The Young and The Restless as the mysterious character "Langley," who is eventually revealed to be Philip III, the heir to the Chancellor fortune. Phillip has been alive for the past 20 years and had faked his death after the drunk driving accident in 1989. In another revealing twist, Phillip returns to Genoa City and explains to Nina that the reason he left all those years ago is because he was gay and felt back then he would not have been accepted.

Thom has also written a memoir entitled "Forgiving Troy". In September 2009, The Human Rights Campaign at a Black Tie Gala themed "Speak Your Truth" presented Thom with their Visibility Award for his continued contributions to charity work for human rights, through his art, his acting, his writing, and his painting in the nude.

*(Hope you like my little joke!)

1979 – Lee Pace is an American actor. He is known for starring as Thranduil the Elvenking in The Hobbit trilogy and as Joe MacMillan in the AMC period drama television series Halt and Catch Fire. He has also appeared in the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Ronan the Accuser, a role he first played in Guardians of the Galaxy and reprised in Captain Marvel. He received an Emmy Award nomination for his portrayal of Ned in the ABC comedy-drama Pushing Daisies. From 2021, he stars as the galactic emperor Brother Day in the TV series adaptation of Isaac Asimov's science fiction stories Foundation.

Pace was born in Chickasha, Oklahoma. As a child, Pace spent several years in Saudi Arabia, where his father worked in the oil business; the family later moved to Houston, Texas. Pace attended Klein High School in Spring, Texas, a suburb of Houston, with actor Matt Bomer.

Pace briefly stopped attending high school to act at Houston's Alley Theatre before returning to graduate. At the Alley, he appeared in productions of The Spider's Web and The Greeks.

In 1997, he was accepted by the Juilliard School's Drama Division. While there, he was in several plays, including Romeo and Juliet as Romeo, Richard II in the title role, and Julius Caesar as Cassius. He graduated from Juilliard with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree.

Pace first gained recognition for his role in the 2003 film Soldier’s Girl, based on real events, in which he played the central role of Calpernia Addams.

Of the role, Pace has said:

Not even my excellent training at Juilliard prepared me for my first movie role, where I played a transsexual who falls in love with a military guy in Soldier’s Girl. Here I was, this 6 feet 3 inches (1.91 m), 190 pounds (86 kg), lanky kid from Chickasha, Oklahoma, not knowing how to begin being a woman. So I saw documentaries about transsexuals, I lost twenty-five pounds, and I put on prosthetic boobs and hips to become that character. There were times I’d look in the mirror and wonder, ‘What am I doing to my life here? My dad is going to kill me!’ But the reason I went into acting was to be able to play parts as complicated and important as this one. In playing a transsexual, I got the chance to help change people’s perspective about other people, and that is a powerful thing. I’m playing a swashbuckling bandit in my next film, but I’ll always be proud of Soldier’s Girl ”.Pace's sexual orientation became a topic of public discussion after he was accidentally outed as gay by Ian McKellen, who worked with him in The Hobbit films, in 2012. McKellen's "outing" was described in the press as a blunder and an accident on his part, as Pace had never addressed the subject. In June 2018, he spoke about being a queer actor in an interview with The New York Times

1983 – Andrew Goldstein (born in Milton, Massachusetts) is the first American male team-sport professional athlete to be openly gay during his playing career. He had been a professional lacrosse goaltender for the Long Island Lizards of Major League Lacrosse. He was originally drafted by his hometown team, the Boston Cannons.

The two-time All-American at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, Goldstein made headlines off the field in 2005 when he was dubbed by ESPN to be "the most accomplished male, team-sport athlete in North America to be openly gay during his playing career."

Yet as Goldstein points out, "gay All-American" is a phrase that is still contradictory for some:

"'All-American' is what you think of, you know, the three kids, the white picket fence, 'All-American'. And gay does not fit into that. So it's nice for me to hear 'gay All-American,' and to think it's just the same as 'All-American.' "

He revealed his sexuality to his team after the 2003 season, and an online essay that appeared on Outsport.com elevated his story to national prominence.

It was the first session of weight lifting during the summer term of Goldstein's sophomore year when he officially came out to his team. He pulled aside senior defender Matt Nicholson and told him he had a boyfriend, Ethan.

Nicholson, who had known Ethan previously, admittedly was surprised by the revelation, but he still managed a pretty decent comeback.

"Wow, man," he said, "he's hot."

Later, in an emotional e-mail, Nicholson told Goldstein it didn't change anything.

"I'm here for you," he wrote. "I'm your teammate. I'm your defenseman, and you're my goalie."

Goldstein was touched.

Goldstein asked Nicholson to pass the word to the rest of the team. If anybody had any questions or concerns, Goldstein said, have the player come talk to him. During the first few weeks, there were some uncomfortable moments.

When the news had settled on the team, a number of Goldstein's teammates apologized. It occurred to them that, in the macho, testosterone-charged atmosphere of the lacrosse locker room, they had probably offended their teammate countless times over the seasons.

youtube

SportsCenter: "Andrew Goldstein" (8 minutes)

In 2006, Goldstein was honored by being named to the OUT 100. He also received a prestigious 2006 GLAAD Media Award for the feature entitled "Andrew Goldstein" which aired on ESPN's Sportscenter.

A biochemistry and molecular biology major at Dartmouth, Goldstein has earned his Ph.D. in biology at UCLA with a specific focus on cancer. He is now a post-doctoral researcher at UCLA. On August 2, 2013, Goldstein was inducted into the National Gay and Lesbian Sports Hall of Fame.

1993 – Idaho enacts a sex offender registration law that includes consensual sodomy.

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the-authoress-writes · 6 months

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Family

(AKA some of my Tom “Iceman” Kazansky headcanons)

Warnings: Tom “Iceman” Kazansky’s father’s A+ parenting (not), mentions of cancer.

Author’s Note: This was instigated by @callsign-skydancer, after she sent me a very insightful message, and I just had to go with it, until, voilà, I churned this out in an hour and a half.

I’ve had these headcanons for a while now, but it’s because of Sky that I decided to get them down.

I’ll be using these in some later stories, so if you see some copy-pasting, you didn’t see anything, self-plagiarism doesn’t count, 😂.

I have no idea if this makes any sense, I wrote this in what I feel is a weird tense, but I have to get this out of my head, so I can finish “Wherever You Go”.

Enough of the Authoress talking, here we go!

Family has a great deal of meaning for Thomas Kazansky.

It affects and has affected him in more ways than one, and it continues to influence and shape him.

It was why he joined the Navy.

Most people assume that his father was Navy, because they hear higher-ranking officers whisper “He’s related to Kazansky” or things like that, but they’d be wrong.

His father was not Navy.

His father is Dr. Vasily Kazansky, a prominent Honolulu cardiologist, who detests all things military, who wanted nothing but for Tom to follow in his footsteps, demanding utmost academic excellence in preparation for medical school, creating a habit drilled into him that carried over into Tom’s service.

His grandfather, however, was Captain Sergei Kazansky, a highly decorated US Navy officer who served during World War II.

As a child, during visits to his Dedushka Sergei and Babusya Anya, young Thomas could be found in his grandfather’s arms, listening wide-eyed to Sergei’s stories of his time in the Navy.

It was Sergei Kazansky who instilled in Tom a love of country, and the desire to serve.

Tom’s decision to join the Navy and attend Annapolis was what drove a final wedge between Tom and his father, who detested the military for taking his father, Sergei, from him, in more ways than one, both physically, and emotionally, Sergei not knowing back then how to handle his trauma.

It was his grandfather who pinned the Lieutenant Junior Grade bars on his uniform, and Tom will never admit it, but he had tears in his eyes when Sergei embraced him and whispered in his ear, “Я так горжусь тобой, Томас,” words his own father never said to him.

It broke his heart when Sergei died of lung cancer three months before he was slated to attend TOPGUN.

But his memories and the lessons his Dedushka taught him would stay with him forever.

Most people would never assume that Tom “Iceman” Kazansky would have an artistic bone in his body, but they would be absolutely wrong.

One of Tom’s best kept secrets was that he is a very accomplished pianist.

He was taught by his mother, Yelena, how to play the piano, and music ran in her family, her own father, Oleg, having been a violinist with the USSR State Symphony Orchestra, before his defection to America.

Tom’s fondest memories of his mother are of afternoons spent with Yelena teaching him to play the piano, after dragging him from his homework, which enabled him to play Chopin at twelve, followed by the two of them listening to recordings of classical music, some of them featuring his grandfather Oleg’s playing, his father’s long hours at work enabling this time away from studying without censure.

One of his most prized possessions is a vinyl record which he inherited from his mother, of Shostakovich’s “Leningrad Symphony”, where his grandfather Oleg can be heard playing second chair violin.

In general, Tom’s favorite pieces to play are Chopin, but depending on his mood, what he plays varies.

When he’s at his most neurotic, Bach comes easier, the precision required to play those pieces giving his mind something to fixate on.

When he’s upset or angry, he hammers away at Scriabin, and some pieces of Rachmaninov, like “Prelude in G Minor (Op. 23 No. 5)” and “Prelude in C Sharp Minor (Op. 3 No. 2)” and Beethoven’s “Piano Sonata No. 8 in C Minor (Pathétique)”.

When he’s feeling a little drifty, he goes for Satie and Debussy, or “The Lark” by Glinka and Balakirev.

When he’s happy, Chopin’s “Heroic” polonaise is a must.

When he’s lonely, Chopin’s “Nocturne No. 20 in C Sharp Minor (Posthumous)” is a standby, because of how it reminds him there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

He’s proud to say he can play his dream piece from his early high school years, Liszt’s transcription of “La Campanella”, though he still thinks he can get it just a little bit faster.

His most recent dream pieces are Rachmaninov’s “Piano Concerto No. 2”, and Liszt’s “Rondo Fantastique (El Contrabandista)”.

It’s because of him that Bradley is as good a pianist as he is, having been the Baby Goose’s teacher on the instrument.

He wishes Bradley would show off the classical pieces he knows more than his rendition—great as it is—of “Great Balls of Fire”.

Family has shaped Thomas Kazansky for better and for worse—there are still days he can hear his father telling him an A- wasn’t going to get him into any half decent Ivy League, or that he had to try harder, that his best needed to be better, and those are the days he plays Bach, or Scriabin, Rachmaninov, and Beethoven—but it was also what made him who he was, what led him to what he loves doing, and what led him to the family he chose.

Taglist

@valmare

@callsign-skydancer

@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88

@tadomikiku

If you’d like to join my taglist, just send me an ask!

#i wrote this instead of sleeping #please be kind #bahaha 🤣#top gun #top gun headcanon #top gun headcanons #tom iceman kazansky #tom kazansky

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helix-studios117 · 2 months

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Halo Reloaded: Advice

In the quiet corridors of the Autumn 2.0, the air was thick with anticipation as John-117 made his way toward Naomi-010's quarters. Unarmored for once, his towering figure moved with a deliberation uncharacteristic of the battlefield legend. He paused at Naomi's door, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before pressing the chime.Naomi, surprised by the unexpected visit, opened the door to find the Spartan-II she rarely saw out of his armor. Her blonde hair fell loosely around her shoulders, a stark contrast to the usual tight bun she sported under her helmet. "John?" she began, her tone a mix of curiosity and caution. "What brings you here?"

John's gaze lingered on her for a moment, the weight of his request making him momentarily hesitant. "I need advice," he finally said, his voice betraying none of the uncertainty that flickered behind his stoic expression.Naomi stepped aside to let him in, her expression puzzled. "Advice? From me?" she asked as she closed the door behind him. The very idea seemed to perplex her. "What about?"

"It's about Linda," John admitted, the name alone enough to convey the depth of his concern. "We...we're seeing each other. And I want to take her out, do something special for her."

Naomi raised an eyebrow, the pieces clicking into place. Yet, she couldn't help but wonder why John had come to her. "And you're asking me because...?"John shifted uncomfortably, the topic clearly out of his comfort zone. "Because of Vaz," he said, referring to Vasily "Vaz" Beloi, the ODST with whom Naomi had been in a relationship for several months. "I figured, since you're with someone outside the Spartan program, you might know a thing or two about...this."

Naomi's cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and surprise. It was rare for Spartans to discuss personal matters so openly, and John's acknowledgment of her relationship with Vaz felt both invasive and flattering. "John, I'm hardly an expert on romance," she confessed with a sheepish smile. "But if you're looking for advice, I'll share what I can."John nodded, grateful for any insight she could offer. Naomi took a moment to gather her thoughts, her advice more earnest than expert. "Well, for starters, it's important to remember it's not about where you go or what you do, but the thought behind it. Linda's not just any Spartan. Think about what she enjoys, what makes her happy. It could be something as simple as a quiet place to watch the stars, or maybe a live-fire training session if that's more her speed."

John listened intently, Naomi's words sparking ideas in his mind. "And," Naomi continued, "communication is key. Make sure she knows this is special, that it's about the two of you spending time together. It doesn't have to be grand, just...meaningful." The Chief nodded, his usual confidence returning. "Thank you, Naomi," he said sincerely. "I appreciate it, more than you know."Naomi smiled, a genuine warmth in her eyes. "Anytime, John."

As John turned to leave, a newfound resolve in his step, Naomi couldn't help but feel a sense of camaraderie that went beyond their shared duties. In the world of Spartans, where vulnerability was a luxury few could afford, moments of genuine human connection were rare and precious. John's visit, awkward as it might have been, was a reminder that beneath the armor and the accolades, they were all still human, still capable of love.

@ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask, @authortobenamedlater, @makowrites, @mrtobenamedlater, @killer-orca-cosplay, @empresskadia.

#halo #halo fanfic #halo fanfiction #master chief fanfiction #master chief #master chief fanfic #john 117 #vaz x naomi #john 117 x linda 058 #naomi 010 #linda 058 #halo au #halo headcanon #halo reloaded #ultimate universe

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everythinggrishaversebxm1012 · 4 months

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(Not) Just A Healer Part II

Summary - Nikolai Lantsov has all the more to lose when he returns to Ravka having fallen in love with a certain Healer while on the True Sea

Part I II Part II

Things did change a lot, as you suspected. For one the openness you could have about your relationship with Nikolai dropped a lot. Someone might just commit regicide on a mass level if they learned their prince was dating a Grisha. On second thought that’s perhaps what Ravka needed. A Grisha beside their prince. An effort to represent a reunited front. It was one evening while you were laying in bed with Nikolai when you suggested an engagement to Alina Starkov.

“Hear me out Nikolai. What better way to ally our forces than through a marriage? With the Sun Summoner married to you, that may rally the forces necessary. The people respect you Nikolai. And such a marriage might be the necessary push to unify the First Army and the Second Army against Kirigan.”

You tried to ignore the look on his face when you suggested such a thing, though part of him knew you were right. “She will never be a love match for me, you understand that, don’t you, moi magpie?”

“Simply a political alliance,” you said into his neck. While you knew the suggestion came from your mouth it still hurt to see how easy it seemed for him to go through with it and suggest it to Alina. Alina was no fool and she saw what you and Nikolai shared, and it was only under your persuasion that she agreed.

And so it was, two days later at dinner. You sat next to Mal, watching Nikolai sitting between his brother and Alina, as Nikolai said something to make Alina laugh. You and Mal shared quick glances before you saw Nikolai mouthing, moi magpie in your direction. Yes he agreed to your suggestion, but that didn’t mean he had any attraction to Alina Starkov. You saw Vasily say something to his mother and then look over to Nikolai say something, then glancing at Alina. It was the look in Nikolai’s eyes that suggested Vasily had said something to really get to him.

You chugged down the alcohol in your glass as he announced his engagement to Alina, trying to look the part of any other Grisha sitting and eating amongst others. A feat that proved difficult. Nikolai wasted no time in finding you that evening, ensuring you knew how he felt about you. Everything changed even more at the engagement party for Nikolai and Alina where Vasily was killed by one of Kirigan’s Nichevo’ya. More than anything it meant Nikolai was in line for the throne, and quite frankly you weren’t upset though you felt sorry for your boyfriend on some level.

You were busy healing people when it appeared Kirigan’s Show Monster’s seemed to be reappearing. Nikolai immediately looked at you and Alina pulling out his pistol. “Gather all the wounded and get out of here. Go to the fort called Zvedya,” he then turned to look directly at you. “The one south of Kribirsk. Find–”

You watched Baghra walk into the space below ground with a woman behind her. You recognized her from your time training, Genya. Baghra glanced over at Nikolai upon his comment that she was the Grisha tea. She looked like she wanted to scoff, “Ah, the prince. The Puppy Prince. But I do not care truthfully. What I care about is if you fix it. Right the wrongs.” You watched Genya standing there, timidly as Alina embraced her. “Oh Saints, Genya. Look what he did to you.”

You took note of the scars across her face. You cringed. You knew what Kirigan was like, and you were glad Nikolai had pulled you along with him.

You watched Nikolai approach Genya, looking almost angry. “Genya Safin? You’re the Grisha who poisoned the king! When I am crowned king you will stand trial for treason against your country.”

“No she won’t. She did what she had to do, to survive ,” Alina pressed, growing more defensive of Genya every moment.

You slowly nodded from behind Nikolai. “She won’t, Nikolai.” You watched him turn to face you as you shook your head. There was a beat of silence before Nikolai nodded at your silent conversation with him. Something the two of you had grown to be good at during your time at sea.

“Did the king force you?”

“I never asked for his attention,” Genya responded not daring to look anyone in the eye.

Nikolai looked back to you silently asking if you think she can be trusted and you only nod, continuously noting her scarred face. He nods in return before turning to look at Genya. “As the future king, you have my word that you are safe here.” He felt you reach for his hand and he took it, holding onto, finding support in it. Nobody made a point of asking, nobody cared after what had just transpired. “If you can tell me where he is based I shall throw everything I have at him.” He then turned to face you, looking somewhat exhausted. He kissed your hand gently before walking away.

About an hour later Nikolai found himself among the pews of the former monastery, staring somewhere into space, contemplating anything and everything, on the verge of tears, when he heard someone’s feet. He looked up to see you slowly approaching him and tried to subtly wipe away a tear that spilled over.

He slid over to give you space, turning to face you in the pew. He let out a long sigh as you reached for his hand. He turned to face the candles once again, feeling some comfort, even if small from your touch. “I know that look, Nikolai. What’s on your mind?”

He looked at you again, a pained expression on his face. Other than the fact that Kirigan found where we are located? Other than the fact that I am to become King? Other than finally facing He knew you were only asking out of courtesy. You knew how he was doing.

“Everything,” he responded, half-heartedly, not letting go of your hand.

You nodded, letting the silence linger, something that you certainly weren’t getting much of these days. It was interrupted when Alina entered and you stood, leaving a lingering kiss on Nikolai’s cheek so they could speak in private which made your heart ping with jealousy for just a moment.

Soon after that you learned that Alina had given the Lantsov Emerald back to Nikolai formally ending the engagement to search for the Firebird. While you still thought the engagement was good for alliance you quietly were thankful. It was decided that the next best thing would be to truly try and unite the First and Second Army of Ravka. You traveled with Nikolai, David, and Genya to Zvedya. You found yourself growing closer to Genya and David on the way. At the fort you reunited with a number of the soldiers you had known when you agreed to become a healer for Nikolai’s regiment. You also reunited with Dominik who was your partner in teasing Nikolai.

Brief introductions were made. David proved himself rather useful, helping improve the weaponry and Genya used her unrivaled tailor skills to help fix a woman’s arm and hand. It was after that when Nikolai pulled you to the side to speak with you briefly.

You had assumed that he simply wanted to talk strategy with you first. You had healed so many of the First Army and Nikolai would often discuss strategy with you as he was healed at your hands. You had a clear knack for it, and that was only proven further out on the seas when in battles with any enemies you met out there. He reached for your hand and pulled you into one of the side rooms inside the large fort before shutting the door behind him. A number of maps and other papers were sprawled over a table in front of you. The only lighting came from the windows, which cast a dim light. Nikolai gently kissed the top of your hand before circling around the table.

You slowly approached the maps, looking over them, recognizing the detailed works of certain parts of Ravka. You were too busy thinking through possible ideas to notice Nikolai pulling the Lantsov Emerald from somewhere inside his uniform slowly lifting it. It was when he placed it over the maps directly in your eyesight did you pay him any attention. You looked up at him and met his gaze, already deciding to protest what you knew was coming. Of course you wanted to marry him, but that didn’t mean you thought right now would be a better time than any to be engaged to Alina Starkov. You didn’t care if she had broken it off prior, surely she understood how much more alliance that could bring between the First and Second Army.

“Save me the speech,” Nikolai said, knowing exactly what you were going to say. He leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of the ring which gave you your opportunity to share your two kruge on the matter.

“Alina Starkov is not just a Grisha, she is the Grisha. I am just a healer, Nikolai.” That’s how simple it was to you. Maybe you were Grisha, but Alina was a Sun Summoner. The person who could tear down the Fold. Reunite Ravka once more.

Nikolai looked both agitated and pained to hear you talk about yourself like that. “You are not just a Grisha. You are not just a healer, moi magpie ,” he insisted. “You are the healer who ran across yards of an active battleground to save a First Army soldier. You are the healer I would choose as my friend, my confidante, my spouse, my queen, Ravka’s queen. The people already respect you. ”

His voice held this mix of passion, bordering on authorativeness. But you knew he didn’t want to cross that threshold afraid it might turn into something like a to-be king making a demand. Logically you wouldn’t think that, but considering he was proposing plus the circumstances logic was left at the door.

“Nikolai…” was all you could muster.

“I am asking you to be my friend, my confidante, my partner, and Ravka’s queen from now until the day I die,” Nikolai said. The passion was still there, though now it bends towards what most people would call begging. “Marry me. If we survive this, marry me. Be my healer.” The last part he whispered.

You stood for a few moments, in silence, taking in his words, before nodding. “Yeah.” A slow smile spread across your face. “I’ll marry you, Nikolai Lantosv.”

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #mal oretsev #reader #x reader #reader is a healer #tv show plot

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study-with-aura · 3 months

Text

Friday, February 9, 2024

I cannot wait until tonight when I see my friends again. Like I said before, we are terribly close. I think in a way, they are like sisters to me because we have been together since we were very young.

I will try to post over the weekend as I have typically done, but if I am too tired to and need another study break, I will post again on Monday. However, I think I will be good to go and not need one. Come to think of it, I do not have much supplemental study this weekend if any at all except language practice, piano, and reading.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed areas of sectors and segments + learned to find volumes of pyramids and cones + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Unit 17 vocabulary test (100%) + read chapter 15 of Emma by Jane Austen + short story terms quiz (100%) + edited my short story

Spanish 2 - Listening practice + answered questions + reviewed vocabulary

Bible I - Read Joshua 1-2

World History - Completed Imperialism Analysis assignment + added to my timeline

Biology with Lab - Watched lecture video on community ecology + read about community ecology + read about the moose and wolf population + continued working on my endangered animal project (saola)

PE/Health I - Read a health article about the teen brain's vulnerability to the harms of cannabis

Foundations - Read more on persuasiveness + completed creativity exercise with drawing + gave my speech to dad (32/32)

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - Completed High School Biology Unit 9: Lesson 3 + completed High School Geometry Unit 9: Lesson 3 parts 1-3

CLEP - Watched Module 9.4-9.5 lecture videos

Duolingo - Completed at least one lesson each in Spanish, French, and Chinese

Reading - Read pages 99-139 of Warrior Girl Unearthed by Angeline Boulley

Chores - Dusted my bedroom, my bathroom, and the study + laundered my bedding

Activities of the Day:

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful for my friends being able to come and stay overnight again tonight.

Quote of the Day:

The main thing to do is pay attention. Pay close attention to everything, notice what no one else notices. Then you’ll know what no one else knows, and that’s always useful.

-The City of Ember, Jeanne DuPrau

🎧Moderato in E-flat minor - Vasily Kalinnikov

#study community #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study-with-aura

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rose-sophia-isabella-rogers · 8 months

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A Tide That Turned Everything: Chapter II - Reunion Through Pain and Tears

Chapter Summary: Vasily makes decision that costs him a lot. Alina is worried, because she can't find Mal anywhere. Aleksander crashes the engagement party. And you? You have to choose a side.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky, Alina Starkov/Mal Oretsev

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Fedyor Kaminsky, Alina Starkov, Nadia Zhabin, Ivan, Nikolai Lantsov, Adrik Zhabin

Word Count: 3708

A/N: WARNING: this chapter contains an implied rape. If you're sensitive about this, don't like reading about it or are under 18, please skip from: "His hands grab your arms and his fingers travel down slowly." to: "You're scared, terrified.". Enjoy! tsar - ruler, king Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089718813/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089559826/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683715/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683671/ This chapter also contains plot from fourth episode of season two.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

Natasha and Jana are getting your measurements for a new kefta for a party. Well, the party. The engagement party of Nikolai and Alina. Because the Lantsovs have to celebrate it.

'You really don't have to do this,' you say to your friends.

'Grisha are not the only ones that miss their lives in the Little Palace,' Natasha simply says. You nod understanding. Jana opens her mouth to add something, but then her face goes white. You frown and turn around. You stiffen, seeing Vasily Lantsov in your doorway.

'Leave,' he orders your friends. They look at you, ready to defy Lantsov for you. Your heart warms up. But you can't let them get in trouble because of you.

'It's alright,' you tell them quietly. Natasha and Jana shoot you a doubtful look, but leave your room. You straighten up and look at Vasily.

'How can I help you, moi tsarevich?' you ask. Vasily glances at retreating Jana and Natasha.

'You know, I remember when not so long ago you were wearing clothes like them as well,' Vasily says and looks at you. 'Simple serving girl, a nobody. Look at you now. A powerful Tidemaker and General Kirigan's pet.'

You clench your teeth and fists. You force yourself to exhale and calm down. It will do you no good to insult him.

'I am no one's pet,' you say, your voice even, which surprises you. Vasily scoffs and starts walking around the room.

'No one trusts you, you know,' he says. 'Except for the Sun Summoner but she can't change everyone's opinion on you. Do you know why it is like that?'

'Enlighten me, moi tsarevich,' you say, forcing yourself to keep calm.

'Because years ago, you refused to spy General Kirigan for me,' Vasily says. Your heart speeds up a bit. You remember that. How scared you were, standing in front of him in his chambers. And how Grisha were using you after that, because he allowed them to. But you're no longer that scared servant anymore.

'I doubt it would change a thing,' you say. 'General Kirigan told me nothing that would help you stop him from what he did. I had no idea about his plans of expanding the Fold. In fact, in the last months, we have drifted apart.'

'And that hurts you, doesn't it?' Vasily asks with a sly smirk.

'I admit, I thought we were friends,' you answer. 'Clearly, I was wrong. A mistake that almost cost me my life.'

'Oh, come on,' Vasily chuckles. 'Everyone knows you've been fucking him! You've been his personal whore!'

You manage not to flinch. But anger boils inside you.

'I was not,' you deny. Vasily walks closer to you. It takes everything inside you not to recoil in disgust.

'I find hard to believe,' he says, touching your cheek, 'that General Kirigan would just walk past your beauty with indifference.'

'He looked for more than beauty in women,' you say and take a step back. 'Now, if you don't mind, I would ask you to leave. Please.'

'The Sun Summoner can't help you,' Vasily says. 'But I can keep you safe here. All I ask…'

His hands grab your arms and his fingers travel down slowly. You tense.

'… is a bit attention from you whenever I ask,' he finishes, grinning lecherously. Oh, hell no.

'I think I'll manage without your… protection,' you answer. 'Now, please, leave.'

'It's funny that you think you have a choice in the matter,' Vasily says. As if on cue, the door opens and few of his loyal soldiers walk in. Your heart stops. You recognise them.

You curse yourself. You were stupid. You allowed Vasily to get so close that he now holds your arms. You can't summon.

'I believe you know each other,' the prince says, as his men surround you. 'I've been told you had quite fun together.'

'It says a lot about you if you consider torture fun,' you growl.

'Well, they did want something more,' Vasily says. 'But you escaped, hurting them badly.'

'I did what I did to survive,' you say. 'I'm not proud of it but I don't regret it.'

Vasily slaps you. You don't even flinch. His men hurt you much more.

'Don't worry, they will make up for lost time,' he says. 'And remember during that, that it will hurt less, maybe even will be pleasurable for you, when you agree to my terms.'

'When.' He's stupid to assume you will break. Well, he doesn't know you.

'You will regret this,' you say, your voice low. Vasily sneers at you.

'It's your word against mine and my soldiers,' he says. 'Who do you think everyone will believe? And one word from me and you're going to be executed for treason.'

You glare at him. His men take your arms and he steps away. He cups your face and your teeth want to bite his hand off.

'As much as I'd like to join you, I want you to come to me for this,' he says. 'I'll enjoy your humiliation.'

'You will never see it,' you vow to him. Vasily smirks at you, turns and leaves. At once you try to struggle. You manage to free one arm, but you are thrusted on your bed on your stomach. Your hand lands under you.

You feel something metal with it. You grasp it and feel it. You squeeze it tightly. It's your necklace. You hold on to it, make it your anchor.

A soldier grabs your arm and pulls it from under you. You rip off the necklace and hold it. You feel hands on your body and shiver. You close your eyes tightly.

You're scared, terrified. Maybe that's why you do it, even though you haven't done it in weeks. You were telling yourself you would never do it again.

'Aleksander…' you whisper, your voice broken and filled with pain, '… please, come for me… take me home…'

The party is much bigger than you thought. You're pretty sure Vasily has invited the whole Caryeva, from where his… friends are. Which is not good. Because at the moment you want to hide somewhere and cry, as you have been ever since…

No. None of that. You have to be brave. For Alina. And so people wouldn't think you are a traitor after all.

'Hey,' says the woman herself, coming to you dressed in an army uniform. 'Have you seen Mal?'

'It's good to see you, too,' you say, amused. Alina smiles at you apologetically.

'Sorry,' she says. 'It's just-'

'You're worried,' you finish and look around. 'To be honest, I haven't seen him in a while… I'll ask around.

'Thank you,' Alina says, grateful. You nod at her. She frowns suddenly.

'Are you alright?' she asks. You frown.

'Why wouldn't I be?' you ask.

'It's just… you seem a bit… sad,' Alina answers. 'And you look a bit… rattled.'

You tense. Your friend looks at you with worry.

'Did something happen?' she asks. You stare at her. You could tell her about Vasily. She would believe you. You know she despises him. But what good would that do? He still could just declare you traitor and order your execution. So, you force a smile.

'I'm just tired,' you insist. 'And maybe a bit stressed about how everyone is not trusting me.'

'Right,' Alina says, nodding. 'If I can do anything-'

'You're already doing enough,' you assure her with a smile and step away. You walk through the ballroom, asking about your mutual friend.

'Have you seen Mal?' you ask Natasha and Jana. They shake their heads. Jana sighs.

'Sadly, no,' she says. 'And believe me, I've been looking. This tracker is so handsome and charming. I wouldn't mind showing him my room.'

'When you say room…' Natasha says slowly, wincing.

'I obviously mean our room,' Jana says and smirks. 'Natasha, you dirty girl!'

'You're the dirty one and you know it,' Nat says.

'Could you two focus for a moment, please,' you ask, albeit a bit amused. 'It's not like him to be so late.'

'We'll ask around,' Natasha promises. 'I'm sure one of the servants must have seen him.'

'Thank you,' you say, nodding your head.

'I'll start right away,' Jana chirps and quickly rushes away. You chuckle. Natasha rolls her eyes, but then looks at you with worry.

'[Y/N]… I know you're insisting you're alright,' she says quietly. 'But it's clear you're not. What's wrong?'

'Nothing,' you lie, forcing a smile on your face. Natasha doesn't believe you.

'What happened with Prince Vasily after we left?' she asks. You tense.

'Nothing happened with Prince Vasily,' you insist. And technically you're not lying. Nothing happened with him.

'You're not alone, [Y/N],' Natasha says, taking your hand. 'Remember that. We're still your friends.'

'Thank you,' you say, smiling. You pull your hand away. You have to go or you'll start crying in the middle of the party.

'I have to look for Mal,' you say and turn to walk away. You search for your friend and ask about him. Until a certain voice calls:

'A toast!'

People quiet down. You turn and see Vasily walking up to the podium. You shiver involuntarily. You glare at him, as he raises his glass.

'I'd like to share some words about my brother… Nikolai,' Vasily says, pointing with his hand at Nikolai and smiling in a not nice way. 'Yes, yes, we all know he's pretentious...'

He chuckles. You want to vomit. Or splash him. Or better yet, treat him with a Cut. Seriously, when you think about what he did to you, you feel your fingers tingling. You can feel your power gathering at your fingertips…

'... condescending, a man of the people,' Vasily goes on. 'But he has some hidden qualities, too. His intended should-'

He's interrupted by two shadow things falling from the glass ceiling dome. Your eyes go wide. People around you scream and panic. Shadow things take humanoid forms. But when soldiers shoot at them, nothing happens. They grab soldiers and throw them like they're dolls.

People hide. Near the doors, behind tables. You choose a table. Unfortunately, it's the one near the podium. You and Vasily look at each other at the same time. And you don't like what you see in his gaze.

'He won't allow to hurt his whore,' he growls and makes a run for you. You gasp when he grabs your arm… But he barely grasps it, when one of the creatures grabs him and raises him in the air.

Vasily screams. But not for long. Because the creature tears him apart. You watch it all with shock. You barely hear the Queen's scream. But you see that when Alina uses her powers on the creatures, it doesn't work as well.

'[Y/N]!' Natasha and Jana exclaim, somehow managing to sneak to you. Just then one creature grabs the King. He's killed as well.

'Nikolai and the Queen are next,' Jana guesses, her face pale. And yes, the creatures turn to the prince, who's holding his mother protectively. But Nadia and Adrik manage to stop them with their powers. Even if only for a moment, it's enough for the party to evacuate.

'Come on!' Natasha shouts, grabbing you with Jana. They pull you out of the room, clearly deciding to protect you.

Alina runs with Adrik, Tamar and Nadia. But suddenly she stops, seeing Kirigan. She leaves her friends and follows him. They face each other on a corridor. She attacks him but he suddenly disappears. She turns, stunned, but hears his voice behind her:

'It's good to see you, Alina.'

She turns around and gasps. He's standing not far away.

'You're not real,' she says.

'The Sea Whip has made you stronger,' he says. 'I always told you, you were meant for more. Power suits you.'

'Stay away from me,' Alina says, seething. Aleksander smiles slightly.

'Believe it or not, but I'm not here for you,' he says. 'At least not today.'

Alina frowns. She has thought he's… sort of in love with her. So, naturally, she assumed he's here to kill his enemies and kidnap her. Was she wrong?

'Then what for?' she demands. 'To kill my friends?'

'Only the Lantsovs,' Aleksander answers. 'But my creations are somewhat unpredictable. Not unlike you.'

'Get out of my head,' Alina says through gritted teeth.

'I have no intention of hurting you,' Aleksander assures her. 'You must know that by now.'

'Forgive me if I don't take you at your word,' Alina scoffs.

'I was always honest with you about things that mattered.'

'Like creating the Fold?'

'Your obsession with the Fold is naive. Destroying it won't solve Ravka's problems. They've hated us and hunted us long before the Fold existed. I was there.'

'You don't want me to tear down the Fold, because if I do, I'll destroy the only thing you have left.'

Aleksander's lips twitch upward. Your face shows up in his head. He still has you. He must believe it. So, he shakes his head.

'The Fold is not the only thing I have left,' he says. Alina frowns, trying to figure out what else he can have left. He doesn't have her. He must know that. He's not that stupid. His mother stood up to him, so he can't also mean Baghra. His loyal Grisha? Ravka? His shadow monsters? She doesn't know. And she doesn't have time to just stand here and try to figure it out.

'Then I'll come after everything else you have left, too,' she says and glares at him. 'Like you have come after what I have.'

Aleksander's look darkens. Alina almost shivers. She does take a step back. But Kirigan takes a step forward and looms over her.

'You will find the moment you hurt her is the moment I tear out your heart and shatter your bones,' he snarls. 'If you dare destroy her as you have threatened, then they'll find nothing left of you.'

Alina stares at him, shocked, her face white. She thought Aleksander is obsessed with her, wants her as his partner, his equal. But what he said… makes her thinks there's someone else. But… who can it be?

'Who?' she asks. Kirigan stares at her. He shakes his head.

'You won't come near her,' he says. 'I've already broken my promise to her. I won't let anyone else hurt her. Especially you.'

Alina is really confused. She doesn't even hear Adrik, who's showed up behind her. Aleksander leans down to her ear.

'I'll see you soon,' he whispers and he's gone. Adrik startles Alina. She turns back, but there's no sight of Aleksander. As if he was never there. Alina shivers. Both from what happened and from what he said. She fears what he meant. And wonders who he is after.

Nikolai sends his mother to a safe place and then returns to make sure everyone else gets out. He saves some of the staff and decides to follow others with his guards. But after they turn a few corners, they're forced to stop. Because at the end of the corridor stands no other than General Kirigan himself.

He stares calmly at Nikolay. Guards put themselves in front of their prince. Their new king.

'Where is she?' Kirigan asks.

'You will not get Alina,' Nikolay says strongly. Aleksander tilts his head slightly.

'I am not here for Miss Starkov,' he declares. 'Not today.'

They're puzzled. Nikolay tries to think who he can have in mind… and them remembers the stories how he went above and beyond to save one person. You.

'[Y/N] [L/N],' Nikolay says. 'You're here for her. But you won't get her.'

'Give her back to me,' Aleksander says, the look in his eyes darkening. 'And I'll let you go today.'

'Why would she go with you?' a servant behind Nikolay asks, anger in his voice. 'So she could suffer because of you again?'

Aleksander's eyes land on him. Ah. What was it? Tommy. The stableboy that has a crush on you. Honestly, Kirigan would be more than happy to kill him. But he knows you would never forgive him murdering your friend.

'On the contrary, I'm here to make sure she never suffers again,' he says.

'Then leave her alone!' Tommy spats, ignoring how others try to hush him. 'Ever since she met you, she's been kidnapped all the time, tortured and Saints know what else! She got nothing but pain for her loyalty to you!'

Aleksander narrows his eyes. Anger burns in him. Shadows form around him menacingly.

'I advise you to choose your next words very carefully,' he hisses.

'Just kill me right away,' Tommy snarls. 'I know you want to. I saw how you've always looked at me.'

'I want to, I admit,' Aleksander says and shakes his head. 'But you're her friend. She would never forgive me that.'

Tommy is actually taken aback. He opens his mouth, but Nikolai stops him with his hand. He motions with his head at Tommy.

'He's right,' the prince says. 'Leave her alone. She doesn't want to have anything to do with you.'

'If that's the case, then why did she call for me and asked me to take her?' Aleksander asks. Nikolai and others stare at him, stunned. Tommy can't believe it. He opens his mouth-

A scream gets their attention. Aleksander tenses. He knows that scream. He looks behind his adversaries and sees you, held by one of Vasily's soldiers. Next to you are shocked Jana and Natasha.

'Are you mad?!' Jana yells. 'Let her go!'

'His whore for our tsar[1] and tsarevich!' the one that holds you barks.

'How dare you?!' Natasha asks, outraged. 'Release her at once!'

The soldier opens his mouth to answer her… but one of the creatures grabs him and throws him out of the window. Natasha and Jana scream. You stare at the monster with wide eyes.

'[Y/N]…' Jana whimpers when the creature turns to you. 'Come on…'

But you stay put. Because the monster doesn't attack you. It just stares at you… and only now you notice it stands between you and other soldiers of Vasily.

Just then, you have that familiar feeling you always have whenever certain someone is looking at you. You turn your head to the left. You barely see Nikolay, Tommy and others. Your eyes are glued to Kirigan's anxious and desperate face. Tears well up in your eyes.

'Aleksander…' you whisper. Natasha grabs your arm. You look at her. She stares at you anxiously.

'[Y/N], don't,' she pleads. 'I know you love him. But he's not the man you thought he was. He… he's a monster. Don't forget all the people he killed.'

You turn your face back to Aleksander. You look at him long and hard, but all you see is a man broken by years of tragedy and pain, forced to do the unspeakable. Not the monster everyone says he is.

'I'm sorry,' you say and turn to your friends, sorrow in your eyes. 'I'm so, so sorry.'

'No-' Jana starts. You free yourself from Natasha's grasp and bolt toward Aleksander. You see relief instantly lighting up his face. You speed up.

But another soldier runs at you. However, he suddenly grasps his chest and falls on his knees, groaning. You stop and turn your head. Fedyor smiles at you.

'Go, we've got you covered,' he says. You see Ivan hurrying to you, his face covered in scars. You smile at them both and run again to Aleksander.

He uses his powers to create an aisle between Nikolay's men. You hear their screams but can't see them in the darkness. You hope they're okay as you run past them… and straight into Aleksander's open arms.

He embraces you tightly and you hide your face in his chest. Instantly, the familiar feeling of safeness fills you. You feel you're about to cry from relief. You pull away and look up at him after a moment.

'You're alive,' you whisper, cupping his cheek. 'And here. You're actually here. How? How did you-?'

'You called,' he says simply, mirroring your move. 'I promised you to always come. It's one promise I never intend to break. Not again. You're going to be okay now. You're home.'

A sob leaves your lips. Aleksander quickly silences it with a kiss. You sigh into his mouth and kiss him back. You finally feel whole again. Something wet falls on your cheeks. Tears. But not yours. Aleksander's.

'[Y/N]!' you suddenly hear. You pull away and turn. Tommy looks at you with a heartbroken expression. You haven't even noticed the shadows are gone. Nikolai and his men are also looking at you, shocked.

'I'm sorry,' you say, looking at Tommy. You apologise for choosing the opposite side. For not loving him like he loves you.

'I really am,' you say, this time looking at Nikolai. You have taken a liking to him. He was different than his family. Good. He could be a good king. But you can't fight against Aleksander.

'For tsar and tsarevich!' you hear. You turn and your eyes go wide. Behind Aleksander, a few soldiers prepare to shoot him. You know they won't kill him. But they also were in your room then. They also- And now they want to kill Kirigan.

Your eyes narrow in anger. You push surprised Aleksander to the side. The men are about to fire but you're quicker. You form ice shards in front of you and send them at the men, letting out a yell. They fall on the ground, groaning and screaming.

Behind you, Nikolay, his soldiers, Tommy, Natasha and Jana stare at you, shocked. Fedyor and Ivan, who join you and Kirigan, aren't at all surprised. They know you won't stop at anything to keep Aleksander save. The man himself look at you with surprise, but also with awe.

So that's what you are.

'Let's go,' Aleksander says, grasping your hand. You shoot one last apologetic glance at your friends and follow your lover. Fedyor and Ivan follow you. And you leave. Your previous life, your friends… and maybe even your morals a bit.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49965037/chapters/126310537

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