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gale-gentlepenguin · 11 months

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So I know Representation came out today. And any good fan would wait a week before reviewing it as we still have episode 23 to watch.

GOOD THING IM A DEGENERATE

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 24 Representation

spoilers below

-So as expected, Chloé didnt stay mayor long. But Apparently Ms.Bustier is running for Mayor and might win

-Oh its the Fencing teacher/ guy who was Darkblade. Well clearly Ms.Bustier is going to win

-And Adrien and Kagami are a power couple? But Adrien is watching the news report while they are in London. Something seems VERY off

-Ah, Gabriel is behind it. And Adrien HATES it.

-"By letting your father decide your life and selling your story through a fake narrative as usual." DAMN Plagg holds no punches

-Plagg appologized though.

-Kagami is also pissed about it

-HEY ITS FELIX/ARGOS

-Wait ... is that really my chaotic son? HEARTS ON WINDOWS.

-Thats adorable, WTF

-Okay so THEY got some development.

-Adrien deciding to just say f*** it. He is heading to paris and Telling Marinette he's chat noir!

-Marinette back in paris looks miserable. Poor baby girl. Also its a lovely dress.

-Marinette has been crying. I am going to kill Gabriel

-Marinette being strong for her friends to enjoy this dance. Thats really big of her.

-Unfortunately, Spotlight.

-Wait, how did Argos and Kagami get to Paris BEFORE Astrochat? Unless they left much earlier but even then. My bet is Argos made a sentimonster that would warp them places... but that seems like BS.

-KAGAMI KNOWS MARINETTE IS LADYBUG?! Since perfection. Damn.

-KAGAMI TOLD FELIX!?!?!?! FELIX?!?!?! Okay I am a bit salty about that

-OH S***! THEY KISSED. The Feligami stans are Eating today.

-Felix is dressed like Adrien? Oh I do not like where this seems to be going.

-And Marinette thought she saw Adrien and wants to go after him while her friends are thanking her for everything she's done. Way to ruin a good moment FELIX you ass!

-Side note, WHY is Marinette the only one in a dress? Like its a dance? Why couldnt everyone Have dressed up? Seriously, I know outfit renders are expensive. DID THE KITCHEN COST THAT MUCH?

-Marinette avoiding the Lesbian bee and accidentally interrupting the Bi artist and writer. Sure is Pride month in Paris.

-Okay this is just cruel. Marinette thinks she is having a break down over this. Side note. WHY ISNT ADRIEN ACTUALLY HERE YET? HE IS ASTROCHAT!

-Alya and Nino trying to comfort her. But she aint listening.

-Adrien and Kagami escaped and the parents are pissed

-Oh no Nathalie looks really bad right now. Poor thing. All she can do is watch videos of her true love Emilie

-He took the ring back, guess now that Nathalie is too weak to fight him. Which really brings up the question, WHAT HAPPENED in the last episode that Nathalie took such a turn.

-Gabriel is being a d*** as usual

-Nightormentor sounds like a cool name. And while I thought the color scheme is weird... its probably the best akumatized form Gabriel has taken. Sad but true

-AND OF COURSE RIGHT AS SHE LEAVES ASTROCAT ARRIVES. I know its plot convenience but thats bull s***

-"His father CANT have that much control of him" Oh if only you knew Nino

-And BOOM! Gabriel the bitch agreste arrives

-I am liking Rose so much recently. She is calling out EVERYONE

-So he basically has the powers of Sandboy mixed with Darkerowl

-the guy has the power to make you experience VERY intrusive thoughts. That is evil

-Chat noir is like "Hey ladybug gonna go beat up my father text me later"

-Dude Felix must be an Olympic speed walker

-Marinette is basically being nightormented without that bastard even being here. Felix, Kagami this is just a jerk move.

Duusu: "This is so sad" Felix: "Dont worry its for Our happy ending" Duusu: F*** yea lets keep it up

-Oh he made a sentimonster... wait. I know its not human but like a sentimonster MAKING sentimonsters. Feels even more f***ed up

-THEY ARE DOING A F***ING PLAY FOR HER!?

-OH MY GOSH! ITS THE STORY OF EMILIE AND AMELIE!

-Meanwhile, Chat noir is working through his daddy issues.

-Back to the play

-Oh this is interesting.

-Oh and we find out Felix's dad was a rich Cowboy. But also an asshole. (Oh right, this is a French Cartoon, thats why American's suck in this)

-Back to Adrien fighting his father

-This is Cathartic watching Chat noir beat Gabriel's ASS

-HE WAS GOING TO CATACLYSM HIS DAD! Adrien, my boy. Patricide adrien? Well Monarch is still alive, so I guess you think it wouldnt kill him. BTW, Monarch should have had ptsd from that.

-And Chat noir got hit, so his worst fear is... and cuts back to the play

-Oh the twins were infertile. Emilie returned to try and get medical help but still nothing.

-The peacock, that was the sentimonster reference

-Oh so THATS how Gabriel got Gorilla to guard adrien.

-Also yea, any doubt that they arent sentimonsters is dead now.

-ITS CHAT BLANC WITH BLUE HAIR!?

-Oh s*** that is f***ed up.

-"It will end if you give me your miraculous"

-"Take it." ADRIEN NO!

-Oh so thats why Felix's dad was an a**hole. Okay I will give this credit. That is something.

-Welp this explains why Felix might be a sociopath

-Felix revealing why he did what he did

-THE RESISTANCE! COMING IN CLUTCH

-THE TRAY!

-ALYA JUMPED ON HIS BACK.

-They got the akuma in a jar.

-Wait, Chat noir defeated an akuma without Ladybug. (sure he had outside help, but Ladybug has done that too). Good on him

-WELL S*** THAT WAS TRIPPY.

-Felix and Kagami asked for Marinette's help. so was that all the sentimonster doing so? I am lost

-Okay so, I may not LIKE exactly how they went about it. But I cant really hate them for what they did. They are just kids that want to pick someone they trust.

-Oh s***, Ladybug never cast miraculous cure. So Adrien has some perminant trauma from the fight with Nightormentor. He still sees the antichat visions (its not chat blanc, and its just reverse color pallet)

-Chat noir left. before he could tell her. Cause the nightmare messed with him

-WAIT DID TOMOE AND GABRIEL JUST LOCK THEIR CHILDREN IN STERILE ROOMS? WTF!

_________________________________________________________

Okay! This episode was A LOT.

Well there is no denying Sentimonster theory. Its confirmed. Its done. 100% GUARANTEE NO MONEY BACK.

It did explain a LOT about Felix and Adrien.

So I am still iffy on how it was handled.

Now this DOES NOT justify Felix's Actions. He was still an a**hole. And Kagami shouldnt have told Felix. Marinette is Ladybug. That was NOT her secret to tell.

BUT the play that explained what happened was very well done. It explained a LOT about the Graham de Vanily family and Felix's a**hole father.

I will say that I hated how tortured Marinette was during this. Felix and Kagami could have done something less cruel to lure her there.

I also greatly enjoyed Chat noir vs Nightormentor. very good catharsis and we have Adrien going through some additional mental trauma, inflicted by his father (I wouldnt call it Ironic, more of EXPECTED)

I give it 7.5/10

I will say its the most I have enjoyed the second half of this season since Emotion.

#ml #ml spoilers #gale reviews #miraculous ladybug #ml representation #ml representation spoilers #feligami

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cotlfanficspromptsblog · 2 months

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COTL SOTF Fanfic(Reboot)

Chapter 2 : "The Succession of Breeding"

3-1-24, Day 133

"It was another nice day in The Cult of Midsummonar where after a Successful Day of Vday with Lambert matchmaking his Wife Samantha with one of the many followers whom she easily became fast friends to instant Lovers/GFs Together which was Mrs.Midge Butterfree Bloodsucker(Yep their Married Now with them planning for Motherhood as Lesbian Parents) The Purple Couple already had to think before going instantly into Parenthood without realizing how hard & tough it can be esp in a Cult but Thankfully Lambert being his Caring, Wise Self as Leader felt pretty confident in Sammi & Midgey's First Breeding Session Together..

Sammi was in a New Outfit which was a accidental outfit change by her Lovely Leader Lamby due to Heket asking for a Wedding Dress and accidentally chose his Fav Wife's Current Wedding Gown by changing it's color from Purple to Yellow/Bright Gold kind of Color Scheme.

But Days Later Sammi adores her new color for her Dress which Lambert is pretty glad to hear from her which Heket herself likes Sammi in Yellow since she feels it fits her personality pretty well.

Lambert had already Brought Both Sammi & Midge towards The Mating Tent by hurrying pretty excited about the Succession or Possible Faling of The 2 Girls first ever mating tent breeding to create a baby together at least in Surragocy.

Sammi looked at Lambert pretty nervous but kind of excited to see the outcome of her & midge's relationship becoming 2nd lvl & future married couple. her head was filled with small sweating drops with the batdemon grabbing a hankerchief to wipe the sweat on her forehead.

S : Uh Lamby? Can i ask you something before were ready?

Lambert quickly turned around to hear Sammi ask him something

L : Oh yeah Sammi of course, what's you wanna tell me..

S : Well, I feel pretty grateful for me and midge mating together and starting a sweet surrogate family together. because it feels like a 2nd chance for my own kind to survive and thrive and no longer becoming excinct and i just wanna thank you for just.. Everything! i love you lamby.

L : Aww Your very Welcome Honey, I love you too!

Midge then looked at her GF and seen if she was ready for the tent?

M : Hey Sammi, ya ready?

Samantha smiled at her GF Midge happily & passionately and finally responded with a sweet : yes i am! back to her.

Lambert waved at the 2 girls as a form of good luck to them in hopes of the mating success..

A few mins later..

Lambert was pacing back & forth as if as nervous first-time parent would and soon saw Sammi & Midge both nude in leaves smiling rather blissfully & freespirited like coming out of the tent!

Lambert's Thoughts : "Oh my God!, they.. they did it!

Lambert then ran up to both girls with Sammi happily holding and nestling their egg her & midge created together!

S : *yawns* that.. was incredible.. wow..

M : Ditto Sammi!

L : So it was a success i see, i'm so happy for you two!

All Three formed a group hug and soon enough, it was night once again but with Sammi & Midge's Egg resting, awaiting the arrival of the first baby cultist of Lamb's Cult!

TBC

#cotl #cotl sotf #fanfic #follower x follower cotl #mating tent

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nachomori-3 · 11 months

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🍀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Oh wow! Didn't actually expect to get one! Let's see...

🍀 - 'What thoughts or emotions that didn’t make sense to your past self make sense now that you know you’re queer?'

- I remember always having a dislike for dresses and 'traditionally feminine' clothes. I wore them on special occasions but I really didn't understand people who enjoyed wearing them daily. Now I realize it's because I didn't like being percieved with the feminity they're usually associated with or imply. Using 'she/her' was also very awkward, especially online, and I used to think it was because it was 'too much personal information' and 'it'd be fun to keep people guessing'. Nope. Just. Weren't my pronouns actually

🏳️‍🌈 - 'Do you enjoy the colors of your preferred flag? Do you incorporate it into your outfits, decor, etc.?'

- Yes! I really love the colors of the Trans and Aego/ace flags. The pink/purple aceflux one is also very pleasant. I haven't made an effort to coordinate outfits yet, but I do accidentally end up comboing into the aego flag a lot bc I have a lot of black, purple and gray/white clothes.

🏳️‍⚧️ - 'What Flag do you think has the best color scheme?'

- Lesbian or Abrosexual, definitely! Trans flag ofc a giant winner. The gradients and color combos are very pleasant!

#ask game #ask #not sure what else to tag these with for now

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alien-baby-boy · 3 years

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*comes rolling in while holding a microphone* Hello there my friend I need your opinion on Role Reversal AU

The majority people I saw in Role Reversal trope of Death Note community often prefers Light as Misa, L as Light and Misa as L. I, on the other hand, prefers Light as L, L as Misa and Misa as Light. I need your opinions on this, and maybe some headcanons, too?? Thanks :D

hi, again, ace! honestly, i haven't read that much role reversal au, but one i like (called "A model, a mass murderer, and a detective walk into a bar") had L & Misa reversed while Light was still Kira. i also like L as Misa, Misa as Light, & Light as L.

tbh, i don't think Light would make a good Misa. his only style is preppy homosexual & it'd be way to ooc for him to wear pretty much anything else. he clearly cares about his image & how he looks to other people, usually wearing stuff like khakis or button up shirts with sweaters, so he would refuse to wear anything racy or more suggestive than a shirtless photo.

L as Misa, on the other hand 👀👀. we've long since established that L will wear anything comfortable & their pale slender frame would fit perfectly in most fashion magazines. i was looking at clothing references the other day & immediately thought L would look wonderful in this skirt.

ofc i wrote L wearing it in my current w.i.p, but we're getting off track.

Misa would make an excellent Kira, especially with her shinigami girlfriend, Rem, on her side. Misa would start with killing the man who murdered her parents (if they're dead in this au), then kill rapists & creeps, then murders, etc.

Misa & L would become friends after Misa kills a creepy director L works with. The creep had quite a few accusations against him, but none of those models were as popular as L, so it was their words against the directors'.

The creepy director was about to try something with L when he just dropped dead. Extremely painfully.

Misa knew of L before she became Kira & even had a crush on them before Misa realized she's a lesbian. They're now a chaotic friendship duo & Light orginally suspects L is the first Kira while Misa is the second, although it's the other way around.

The rest of the task force don't see anything suspicious about L & Misa's friendship, since Misa loves fashion & L is a model. The task force thinks Light just wants L in HQ because

1) L is cute

2) He's smart & is actually useful to the case

3) Sometimes L wears his modeling outfits or pretty dresses & Light stares at him while showering him with compliments everytime

Watari is L's manager & half of his job is apologizing to directors, models, or other managers his little spitfire pissed off.

Misa does not give up her notebook, or suggest L give up his. They both agree that losing their memories is a pretty stupid thing to do, since they could accidentally reveal themselves & there's no logical reason for them to suddenly get amnesia.

L's shinigami is Ryuk, who gave him the eyes. L's shinigami eyes are navy instead of red. L convinced Ryuk that blue eyes would be less conspicuous, while really L just doesn't like the color red.

Misa's color scheme is still red, as is Light's.

Their personalities are still all the same, but they're all out. Light as gay, Misa as lesbian, and L as nonbinary & queer. Instead of chaining himself to Misa, because there's only so much he can take, Light has Misa move into his apartment.

Light does consider Misa a friend, but she's so energetic & upbeat, Light can't be around her 24/7 without feeling drained.

Since L & Misa became roommates shortly after L discovered Misa was Kira, she insists L lives with them, too. L & Misa both do puppy dog eyes at Light until he agrees.

Light tries very hard to hide his massive crush on L, but everyone (except L) knows.

Light is also very outspoken about the fact he only took this case on because it was interesting, but he personally agrees with Kira. He's a potential ally in their eyes.

Mikami & Takada also switch places with Abider & Wedy, respectively.

that's all the headcannons i have for this, but i hoped you liked it & see you again soon! :)

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rebamacncheese · 3 years

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THSR Designer’s Notes: The Suit

This is the fourth in a series of posts where I break down the design choices I made for my illustrated Frozen 3 fan-script, True Hans Soul Rebel. Link here if you haven’t read it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27113293/chapters/66207733

Without further ado, Marie’s suit.

This suit is next level. Big brain. Peak Marie, as a character. This is when she decides to live bravely - face what she actually wants for the first time in her life, and experiment with self-expression beyond conformity.

Now, before I go much further on this vein, I should acknowledge that everyone’s gender journey is different. While I like to think Marie’s story has some universal appeal, she’s not meant to, and could never, represent everyone’s experience. Many MTF people glow up from a masculine presentation to a high femme one, and that’s how they live their truth.

But for this story, and this character, I couldn’t see her going from one box of binary expectations to another and finding much happiness that way. With the suit, she reclaims masculinity - and begins the end of an arc about reclaiming her past actions, her life and all its contradictions.

Lets break it down.

The concept of the suit was one of the earliest visual ideas I had for THSR. Here’s a draft, which predates me figuring out what to do with Marie’s sideburns, and most of the plot:

And here’s a slightly later, post-burns draft, which also predates Elsa’s ruffle dress:

Minor color changes and shaping aside, the outline is basically there. All the same things about the fairy tale prince wardrobe that made Hans the most conventional thing in a room make Marie the least. The masculine wear is offset by feminine adjustments to the silhouette - the hair bun, the cinched waist, and the heels. On shaping, Marie’s asymmetrical lapels are a whole choice as well, adapting the boxiness of Hans’ suit jacket for something fragmented, angular, and flattering to Marie’s chest. Gnc af, no attempt at all to appear straight, or even really cis.

A major inspiration was, of course, Revolutionary Girl Utena. Especially in the waist shaping, themes of defiance, and the palette (we’ll get to colors in a bit)

The whole ball scene, really, is just Beauty and the Beast by way of Utena. Watch out for falling petals, folks!

I ended up changing the skirt-like flared coat tails in the final to a cut that drew more attention to fact that Marie is wearing pants. The pants are going to be a plot point, how Marie’s accidentally clocked by the trolls, so it’s important that they’re uncompromised.

You have Captain Amelia, fellow sideburns queen, to thank for the new cut:

You also have her to blame for the heels, likely. The heels are impractical, a stretch for the soft butch look, and are really there because I thought they looked foxy. There is some gender-significance to them, if you’ll bear with me. At ~5′10″ (my estimate), Hans was a respectable height for man, while Marie is uncommonly tall for a woman and it’s a source of insecurity for her. Wearing four inch heels anyway, which elevates her a little taller than Kristoff, is a bold flex in that context. And in Marie’s defense, she didn’t expect to be in action scene that evening. Come the third act, I’m sure she’s grateful that she gets to spend most of the final battle with her feet off the ground.

The hair bun was, like the best decisions, so simple and something I just did because it felt right, intuitively. But it really makes the look, the capstone if you will, and so I want to talk about how that happened. First, I was watching a lot of Gentleman Jack at the time, and though the bun is just the period, this was in my mind as Victorian Butch Lesbian chic:

Second, the high bun makes Marie’s profile very reminiscent of the first Disney makeover:

The effect with the suit ends up being a mashup of Prince Charming and Cinderella, effectively Disney canon’s Adam and Eve.

A note on hair, this is the line I had to walk. I wanted the length to be long on a man, but short for a woman - while still long enough to be bun-able. In other words, Mulan length:

What are buns? How does gender? Is hair a society?

Moving on. Color!

From the beginning, I wanted the dominant color of the suit to be black, or something very dark. This is in line with what makes Marie romantic to Elsa - she’s brooding, mysterious, anti-heroic. The specific shade I landed on, with midnight blue highlights, matches Elsa’s ruffle dress and ends up matching the black ice of THSR’s title cards. And it pops nicely in the green spring palace.

The final dark-on-light scheme is an inversion of Hans’ main ensemble in Frozen 1:

And takes the red and gold accents from Hans’ off-white ball ensemble:

This shot is like, the rosetta stone for Marie’s characterization and ancient hansoglyphics btw.

I see all of the Hans references in the suit design as character-driven on Marie’s end. A part of her walking right up to the line of what she can get away with. She’s almost daring Elsa and Anna to recognize her.

Earlier versions of the suit played with warm colors more to break up the blocks of black, finding a way to rework the feminine magenta maybe. But, simpler is often better for something memorable, and the suit also has to look good with fiery wings later.

The suit will be destroyed in the end, as it must. 3/3 outfits burned in three days - perfect score, Marie. I do think that after the dust settles, this soft butch style is what she sticks with day-to-day going forward.

Here’s a version for a christmas special I may or may not get around to:

THSR is a fantasy - on many fronts, including a queer power fantasy. A fairy tale - where my heroine is pressured into a classic feminine makeover, says “fuck it” and shows up to prom in tux. And then the fairest woman at the ball, a goddess in a gown like a waterfall, looks her and thinks “She’s so beautiful, I don’t know how to speak to her”. That’s what the suit is all about, to me, in the end.

But, y’know, with all the gay, sexy, morally compromised fun we’re having, it seems somebody has gone overlooked, overshadowed. Neglected. What about Frozen’s first heroine? What about Marie’s antagonist?

Next time on the THSR Designer’s Notes, Anna gets off the bench. Watch this space :)

#frozen #frozen III #frozen fanfiction #frozen fanart #frozen hans #femme hans #true hans soul rebel #thsr #illustration #character design #frozen character design #revolutionary girl utena #transbian

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scndstorm · 3 years

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► SCNDSTORM, A WARRIOR CATS EDIT BLOG

Credit to nifty-senpai, aka @ WARRIORSPROJECT for the art included in my layout!

hi im mod kitty! this is a sideblog where i edit those silly cat books! all art does not belong to me unless stated otherwise, and their artists will be in the tags AND in the post descriptions. more under the cut. this blog may or may not contain spoilers about the book.

RULES BEFORE REQUESTING !

Please at max, request 1-3 things at once. Or, in a separate ask.

Credit, credit me somewhere. A link to my blog, or just my blog name is fine, but I'm not strict about this one since I do use watermarks. I do this for fun, and I want the credit if possible. But also, PLEASE CREDIT THE ARTISTS! If you do not credit me because of my watermark that is fine, but credit the artists!

Patience, I'm a kid on the internet editing for fun. I have a life outside of this, be patient with me and don't constantly ask when your request will be done.

Please be specific in your request. If you want an icon/wallpaper/banner, what will the size be? Do you want a certain color scheme? Aesthetic? Do you want me to avoid anything? etc. If you don't specify size, I'll go to the defaults. If you don't specify a color/aesthetic theme, I'll do one I feel like doing.

I will not do things in my blacklist, and I will not explain myself onto why. Don't worry if you accidentally sent a request in without reading it, I won't bite you I'll just delete it, just don't question me!

WHAT I CAN DO !

Icons (simple, icons! on any social media. default 450x450)

wallpapers (wallpapers for your devices! mobile or laptop/PC. default for mobile is 720x1280)

headers (headers for any social media! the default will be tumblr headers, if you mean another header/header size specify in your ask)

twitter layouts (twitter icon+header pack)

moodboards (3x3 moodboards)

LGBT THEMES ARE OK! ^

BLACKLIST !

characters: none!

ships: non-lesbian mothwing ships, bramblesquirrel (platonic ok!) thistlespotted, spottedfire, cinderfire (platonic ok!), any very close/direct incest ships (its warrior cats, if i just said no incest id be very much limiting the couple options lol. uh for example, breezepelt x hollyleaf no! mothwing x leafpool yea!)

themes: traumacore

#warrior cats #warrior cats edit #warrior cat #wc #intro #kitty chatter

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slarpg · 4 years

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Melody Amaranth is a kindhearted but meek transgender fox from the small town of Greenridge. Recently, she made two important realizations about herself. One: she's deeply in love with her adventurous best friend, Allison Goleta. (The feeling was mutual.) And two: if Allison has her heart set on becoming an adventurer, then maybe Melody could join her. As a healer.

It all seemed perfect.

And then things got weird.

The Super Lesbian Animal RPG demo update is out now!

Version 2.0 covers the same portion of the game as the original demo (roughly an hour of the game, letting you explore Greenridge and fight your way through the first dungeon) but now features enhanced music, improved battle UI based on player feedback, some art tweaks, brand new sound effects and jingles, a smattering of balance changes, and most importantly, a new major NPC to meet: Allison’s coworker Paula the polar bear!

Of course, if you're sitting out the demo and/or this update in favor of waiting for the full game, we're still hard at work on that! We've made a lot of progress, and we think SLARPG is really shaping up to be something special

Full changelog below the break:

NEW CONTENT

New NPC - Paula!

Can be talked to on the Hiking Trail after Allison joins the party. You literally can't miss her. If you've already played the demo and just want to make a beeline for the one new scene, that's it

Brief new bit of dialogue added when you inspect the scenic view at the top of the Hiking Trail with Allison in the party

SOUND

Sound effect overhaul! Many sounds were holdovers from SLARPG's 2013 predecessor, which have now been replaced. The punches are punchier, the magic is magic-er. (Most of the little menu blips were done specifically for SLARPG, though, so those are mostly the same.)

Updated music! Some tracks received simple mixing and mastering updates, while others have very noticeable changes

A new song! The battle with the Hole Hound now uses a new battle theme from lead composer Beatrix Quinn, primarily used in the Amber Woods area in the full game

Several brand new jingles for things like finding treasure and solving puzzles. They add a lot of personality to the game, I think

GRAPHICS

New non-blurry fullscreen mode!

F5 toggles between fullscreen and windowed modes, F6 changes display size

The game also now remembers your display preferences upon launching

Fair warning--maximizing the display size literally just stretches the pixels as big as they'll get on your screen. This will likely give you some really janky, uneven pixels on most average displays. For a 1080p screen, I'd personally stick to the 2x zoom. But I'm not your boss or anything

Major areas such as Greenridge and the Basement Dungeon now have unique title card graphics that pop up upon entering

Various minor tweaks

Touched up party member sprites (Allison's collar has grown even poofier)

Slightly touched up some of the cutscene illustrations

New tree sprites in Melody's starting area

New water graphics, visible on the Hiking Trail

You can see the Amber Woods in the distance at the top of the Hiking Trail

Allison now owns a fightstick (this is an important character trait)

GAMEPLAY

Battle UI update

Whether skills cost MP or Star Power is now clearly labeled in the menu

Star Power gauge has a new color scheme at 100% that stands out more. It has a rainbow border. It's good

A cursor now appears when selecting which allies to use skills/items on. It's a little heart. It's good

Increased the opacity of the battle log at the top of the screen to make it more readable

Various other visual tweaks

Status effect update

Status effect animations! Enemies afflicted by statuses such as Burn now show simple animations to more clearly indicate their statuses at a glance

Status effects are now calculated more accurately. Due to a faulty third party script, statuses that were supposed to heal or do damage every turn based on the caster's stats were instead using the target's stats. In most cases, this means the effects have been buffed

"Resolute Damage" has been renamed to "Resolute Seal"

Balance tweaks

All party members now receive somewhat greater stat boosts with every level to make each level up feel more meaningful

Allison's Left Jab, Right Jab, Low Kick, and High Kick have all received buffs so that they don't feel like a waste of Star Power as soon as you learn stronger attacks

The Star Power cost of Allison's Divebomb ability has been reduced from 60% to 40%

Dust Bunny, Flaming Dust Bunny, and [secret miniboss] have received a slight attack power buff

Equipment tweaks

The "Accessory" equipment slot has been replaced with the Charm slot

Basic Pauldrons have been renamed to Generic Brand Pauldrons and moved to the Body slot

Iron Gauntlets weapon changed to Iron Gauntlet (singular) so that if you dual wield them later in the full game you aren't equipping four gauntlets. That would just be silly, and everyone knows this is a very serious game

Misc.

Allison and Claire will now get their Easy Mode buffs automatically if Easy Mode is already activated when they join the party

Fixed a few glitches related to turning out the lights in the Basement Dungeon

Removed "Exit Game" option from the in-game Options menu and added buffer around "Return to Menu." Hopefully this will prevent players from accidentally quitting without saving. I'm sorry that it doesn't ask you to confirm before quitting. Blame Yanfly

Various other minor tweaks

#slarpg #super lesbian animal rpg #rpg maker #gamedev #artists on tumblr

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grayisholi · 5 years

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@ the DND ask game: ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS, I CAN'T CHOOSE!! XD (or if not that, the ones you rlly wanna do!!

BOY OH BOY OH BOYIve been answering these throughout the day and I’m too lazy to reread the full document so sorry if I’ve left gaps or whatever but here it is! All 35 questions about dnd! Matt you unstoppable Madman.

1. A favorite character you have played.

You can’t just make me pick between my children!!! I think I might have to say Atticus Sallow, my faeborn bloodhunter, partially because he’s like 100% homebrew content which I LIVE for, but also because he’s probably the most kinda self-insert character I’ve ever played? Almost became the kinda angsty, brooding asshole character before he was like “get your shit together” and learned that loving people isn’t so bad.

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

I almost, ALMOST had the pleasure of DMing for @no-more-good-omens and their character was gonna be SO RAD and I’m a little heartbroken he never came to be. A half-drow paladin of Vecna, pretending to be your typical good and wholesome paladin? Dude, I love that kinda two faced backstabbing in a player. It’s such a shame it never came to anything (although if yall still wanna play hmu ;))

3. Your favorite side quest.

Ooh, there’s been so many good ones. Probably when i was playing as Adrian Smirks and went off on a tangent to rescue his brother ? That was the first time I ever got to see Adrian’s more raw and emotional side beneath the suave mask he wears and it was fun to explore his character in that way ^.^

4. Your current campaign.

That I’m DMing? It started inspired by Guy Fawkes and was gonna be “your party blows up parliament” but I got bored of following historical accuracy so it ended up being “blow up the palace in a magical city that just happens to be called London”. I accidentally wrote myself into a hole with this campaign tho, so once they’ve finished this arc I’m handing over the DM hat to my sister @philosophical-wanton because she seems to love it and I kinda miss being a player lmao. I can’t wait for it.

5. Favorite NPC.That I’ve written? Probably Hai Shen, the youngest son of a group of circus performers who were killed and the party got blamed for their murder. He had such a great attitude and his dynamics with the party kicked ass. And the twist that he was actually dead the whole time and it was his soul that had stayed behind to help solve his family’s murder? ICONIC.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

NPC death would probably be Hai Shen, actually. After the party had brought the real killers (A cult to the demon Prince Orcus) to justice, Hai’s time on earth had come to an end. He had really beautiful moment with the party before being reunited with his family. Alternatively, the time I broke my entire party’s hearts? “Artagan’s staff comes cracking into Ellios’ chest, forcing him onto the ground. Artagan raises his sceptre in hand, pointing it menacingly at the young prince. And for the first time, you see him. Like, REALLY see him. He’s not the strong and powerful leader you’ve all come to know him as, he’s not Prince Ellios of the Four Realms. He’s just a boy. A boy who is much too young to be involved in such a grand scheme. And the fear in his eyes. You see the fear he’s managed to keep buried for so long, finally coming to the surface. And then? You don’t see anything, aside from his cold body hitting the ground.” I got punched three times for that moment, but GOD was it worth it.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Like in game? A healthy lil bit of vandalising the local law enforcement buildings is always a good time.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

Aw man, how can I pick ? I gotta say, that one time we, a level 6 party, managed to take down two earth elementals was pretty rad. The DM kind of expected it to be one of those encounters that we saw and immediately tried to run from, but what she didn’t take into account was that ALL of us had chaotic alignments so we just went crazy. The DM was rolling really badly (thank God) and we were getting really creative (“I use the produce flame centripetal to light my bottle of ale on fire and create a molotov cocktail” “you do WHAT”) and after like an HOUR we won and it was amazing. The rush I got from that victory was better than any drug my dood.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

I know I say it a lot, but I legit can’t choose. There’s so many great things about ttrpgs that a lot of people don’t really think of. The creative fulfilment I get from a session is incomparable, the friendships you can build that you couldn’t form in any other way. And like, not to get too real for a sec here, but I grew up with undiagnosed autism and didn’t understand how a lot of social situations worked, and DnD was such a good mechanic for me to try communicating with people without many real world consequences, and I appreciate that experience so much. It’s just such a great thing my dood.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Can they be the same thing lmao? I mean, I’m obviously partial to Count Cassius, the vampire lord that Adrian slept with lmao. I also always appreciate a good beholder, until I get hit with three disintegration rays IN A ROW.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

We’ve got kind of a monthly schedule with my main campaign, and I manage to get a couple online games in-between them, but honestly I’d kill to be the kind of group that got together every weekend.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Oh MAN. “I say we do this.” “Yeah, but that’s coming from the guy who decided to tie 3 50ft ropes together to escape the palace.” “iT wOrKeD dIdN’t iT ???” i.e that time I forgot I gave the gnome rogue flying boots so when I planned for them to get arrested at the palace, they managed to escape by tying their ropes together, sending the gnome with it to the top and climbing the wall. I had to improvise the rest of the session. Also “FLINTON BELINDA SKINTON” bc as a role-play exercise I got my party to come up with rumours about their characters and the gnome rogue called Flint AKA Flinton B Skinton decided that one of their rumours was that the B stood for Belinda, and it was GLORIOUS.

13. Introduce your current party.

My current group consists of Flinton B Skinton, gnome rogue. He’s a quick-fingered, silver-tongued gay disaster who can sell anything to anyone. He’s a charming flirt, and a veritable genius in his own right. Kava Daardendrian, dragonborn ranger who loves nothing in life more than her animal companion - her pig Snortin Norton. She’s fun and sassy and shameless, she’s great. There’s Sparks, the fire Genasi Monk, and full embodiment of a disaster lesbian. She drinks, fights, and gets laid, and doesn’t deal with her problems in healthy ways. An icon. And finally Milo, the halfling Bard who falls in love at the drop of a hat and just wants everyone to get along. I call them “The Shenanigang” and I love them.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

A party I joined late? We had Sylvia Moondrop, the half elf sorcerer who was just trying to get along with everyone despite what the world seemed to want. Orland the half orc bard who was just trying to shake off the Barbarian stereotype his family left him with. Rose Morleen, air Genasi fighter who was literally born to kick ass and take names. I joined as Mason Terrai, the Earth Genasi Alchemist with a perchance for explosives. The very definition of chaotic neutral.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Of COURSE. What manic wouldn’t ?

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I used to play online a LOT back before I had friends who were into dnd, but I VASTLY prefer playing in person. The chemistry that’s built not only amongst the players, but also the actual characters themselves is unparalleled. It’s just such a great experience.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Anyone can attempt anything, the only restriction is the dice. Don’t question the DM unless it’s out of session, then bully the dm on the groupchat until he’s so pissed off he gives you inspiration just to get you to shut up. And also canon lore and canon rules are bullshit when it’s convenient. That’s about it

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Our ranger, God bless her, has her pack pig Snortin Norton, sold to her by one Flinton B Skinton. And Flint really wants a monkey, he’s been trying to find one for ages.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Not really ? I’m the kind guy that if my dice rolls a 1 I will bench it for a bit, but tbh all my dice are cursed af and I’ve kinda just learned to roll with it by making my characters canonically terrible at everything lmao.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Aw man I can’t remember when or how, it’s been so long. I had a couple friends who were kinda into it, but all the games they tried to run were complete disasters. I only really started playing I’m the past year or so? Maybe a little more ? Adrian was my first character, and he was a very RP heavy character in a party of tanks and they all hated him but MAN was it fun.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Oh all the time. One time my character was careless and didn’t check for traps on a legendary artefact and it lead to the death of a party member. One time my character got angry at his party and walked out. My characters don’t make good decisions, but that’s part of the fun.

22. What color was your first dragon?

White! I thought it was silver at first and went to go say hi, and it clawed me within half my HP straight away lmao.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Oh dude, original all the way. I live for that shit.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

Depends on the session, but usually a good few hours, couple of days if I’m DMing.

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

“You wake up in a mysterious forest. The strained autumn sun shines through the trees. The only thing you can see it each other, the trees, and an old sign post leading to a path that says "Myrrill” on it. What do you do?“ "We walk in the opposite direction of the sign deeper into the forest.” “…of course you do.”

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I wrote a full carnival show one time for them to watch, and then it got derailed when a horrific monster attacked. But writing all the characters and their acts, and watching my players get entranced as I described it ? Magical, my dood.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

I live and breathe homebrew content. I don’t know what my games would be without it. I LOVE homebrew.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

I make some pretty sick characters if I do say so myself, so I throw them in a LOT.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Oh dude, role play all the way. Fighting and killing stuff is great, but role-play is just so good. We can go from laughing with a bartender to crying over a backstory reveal and it’s just beautiful.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

Depends on the party, but i find the best players are a little bit of both XD

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Official ? I’m a fan of the hexblade warlock? Bards are always a good call, and to be real playing monks make me feel like an absolute badass. Race wise, there are just so many. If we’re only talking players handbook stuff, half elf is always rad. Outside of that? I’ve been researching the Shadar-Kai lately and I’m LIVING. They’re so rad.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

What would you call the disaster gay? I don’t really gear my characters towards usefulness in combat, so it’s just whatever the class happens to lend itself to.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

I usually write my character, personality, backstory, alignment etc, before I even pick a class or even a race. I basically just make OCs and apply them to dnd rules, and it’s SO much fun. 10/10, would recommend.34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

FLAVOUR. My party usually hates me, but what I lack in combat utility I more than make up for in creative out of combat skill checks XD.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

Boi, I even RP my combat, and the great thing is it rubs off on my party too. I’ll have a really low initiative and everyone else will be like “I attack and do 10 points of damage” but then on my round I’m like “I use my staff to leap across the battlefield towards the opponent and launch out with a spinning kick to their jaw” and everyone else is like “oh, okay, that’s what we’re doing.” and the battle becomes so much more dynamic and cinematic, it’s amazing !

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bearofohu · 6 years

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Professor Layton Anime Theory - Luke’s Possible Betrayal (LMDA Spoilers!)

hi guys its luke today i’m making a callout post on luke

this is probably the most cursed theory i will ever create and i promise this is pure speculation, i don’t WANT this to happen i don’t think this SHOULD happen i know the layton community will systematically explode if it does so please don’t unfollow me i am a sensitive boy

summary of the theory: this theory analyzes the possibly of luke betraying layton in the relic stone mystery similarily to emmy based on several aspects of luke’s two appearances in the anime and what we know about the future of the anime so far.

warning: swearing, implications that luke is a good boy gone bad

ps: sorry for the typos im so fuckign tired

full theory under the cut!

alright, lets go lesbians

me and the bros were talking on the layton community discord, and i mentioned something that has been bothering me about luke, a theory if you will. @officialchampionred summed up my thoughts on my own theory pretty well after i told them about it

i originally was just going to not do anything with my speculation, but i figured since the one i made about luke being kat’s father was so well received, even if i ended up being incorrect, i would take another shot at a theory that i think has a good chance of being realized somewhere down the line

ok so the theory summary sounds like a load of baloney when you read it for the first time, right? well hear me out, because i have several points to bring up that may rattle ur bones. without further ado, here are the points:

1. Luke’s Design and its Similarity to the Relic Stone Thugs In Episode 10

im going to start with one point that several people have caught on with all ready, but i don’t think anybody has ever really tried to connect the dots here. so you know luke’s new design, right? the fedora, the jacket, very cute

EXCEPT

here is an image comparison of luke’s design and the outfits of the men, we’ll call them the fedora fellas, we see that attack by don paolo’s orders in the museum

now i know what you’re thinking, “that there is just coincidence” or, “THEY MUST ALL HAVE TO WEAR FEDORAS ON MONDAYS” but i assure you, the similarities here are not accidental. there’s just no way. the design team wouldn’t love the same horrible design enough to just use it on multiple characters just cause they want to. there is just no way this has no relevance.

while some accessories and colors may be different on luke and the men, the general design is still in place, especially with the hat being an exact copy every time. a uniform protocol is being followed here. luke is most likely not wearing choice clothes. this is a uniform, and the men are also following this uniform.

it’s also worth mentioning that even don paolo has a SORT OF similar design change to the color schemes we see in the henchmen and luke

its not entirely relevant, but the red color kind of fits the bill, and i don’t think they would also change paolo’s design for absolutely no reason.

@muzzable also made an amazing color comparison for this theory between luke’s uniform and the fedora fellas, so full credit there!

this image analyzes the color differences between luke’s outfit and the ones worn by those men. note that obviously its not exact, and its probably not supposed to be.

that’s because this is the shit akihiro doesn’t want you to pay much attention to while watching, and its WORKING.

this is so in the event of a betrayal it will smack you upside the jaw (my jaws been broken before, it hurts)

now another counterpoint could be, “maybe its relevant but it doesnt automatically mean that luke works with the fedora fellas or don paolo” and you’d be fucking spot on you funky little luke fanatic, but i got a lot more up my sleeve to tell you.

at the end of this theory, we’re going to move to discuss luke’s motives, but for now, we’re going to stick with the essential points. now we’re going to move onto point 2, which isn’t entirely as direct as point 1, but still holds relevance if you squint

2. Luke’s Nervous/Suspicious Behaviour in Episode 10 & ESPECIALLY 20

watch out, this point is the biggest one analysis wise

you wanna know something i noticed about episode 10 and 20?

luke looks and acts noticeably nervous in almost every scene he’s appeared in

for one example, did anybody else notice the repetitive anime sweat drop going on with no character BUT luke in episode 20, ESPECIALLY the closer they got to the relic stone chamber?

he’s sweating in a LOT of scenes, and on top if that, if you pay attention to his behaviour a lot of it is him just looking generally... worried. a lot of people discredit the anime sweat drop as a cosmetic trope, but a lot of animators actually use it to convey genuine fear or anxiety that offers hints to the direction of the plot.

it’s like he knows something we don’t about the relic stones, like he has something to hide, and he gets worse the further they go, like the closer they get to the relic stones the more nervous luke gets that he’ll have to betray the professor IN THAT MOMENT

and hershel isn’t worried or nervous at all because he TRUSTS luke and i know you could be like, “oh but luke, hes just a nervous boy” and thats all fair and good, we can safely say that luke COULD be a naturally anxious character, but these little details and luke’s general behaviour are VERY noticeable once you pay attention to them for the first time, and also the concept of him being a nervous character was never in place when he was a boy with no malicious motives that we’re speculating now

the pattern of looking luke generally troubled is also shown in episode 10, though perhaps not as noticeable as it is in 20.

while they’re discussing the relic stones and luke is explaning the situation to marina (who im pretty sure is not aware of luke’s outside motive), he gets a little nervous and hesitant when they start talking about why he was doing it. layton then finishes his sentence for him, saying it was for katrielle, indirectly saving luke from having to scramble for an explanation. he just looks OFF.

marina’s face is also the official mood for this post

anyway, level-5 loves using body language in their animations. in cutscenes, the characters often perform actions that define their thinking and their motive. for example, layton puts his hand on his chin and walks around, oh boy he’s going to expose someone. descole slams his hands on the piano keys in eternal diva, oh boy he’s pissed. layton points at someone, oh boy they’re the culprit.

was luke ever THIS nervous and hesitant in the games, when he was a boy? no, not passively nervous. he was only really nervous in the face of danger. as a boy, he was actually pretty confrontational and confident.

so why act so strange here? what changed?

luke looks pretty nervous in this anime, oh boy i wonder if there’s something bothering him that nobody knows about

i feel like now would be a good time to issue a disclaimer that also supports my points, this theory is NOT meant to imply, “oh luke’s a heartless bastard he hates layton and wants the relic stones for himself”

i have very little faith in the idea that, if luke is doing this, he would be doing it for himself, or because he wants to.

i’m confident in this theory, but im not confident that luke’s motives are just plain evil, because while his character can change and realistically SHOULD CHANGE, i don’t think he has it in him to just become evil. i think someone’s either forcing his hand (maybe similarly to clark’s situation), or giving him something he can’t refuse in return for layton.

but more on that later.

now we move onto point 3!

3. Key Hint Passively Given by Picarats

u guys know picarats, right? the guy that provides us with the streams, my bro, an awesome guy...

a guy that is in direct kahoots with level 5 and knows exactly how everything in the anime going to work out

beelieve it or not, picarats is actually a member of the discord server that i run (https://discord.gg/ZYxmPP) and he posts there occasionally. he’s pretty vocal with our community so it’s really not that much of a shocker that he would give us hints from time to time. we’re true bros. i love u my guy

but that’s not the point, the poINT, THE JUICY PART, the REASON why im bringing picarats up... is because he’s provided us with a crucial hint to support my theory, mainly during the episode 20 stream

THE KEY HINT THAT PICARATS HAS GAVE US WAS...

LMDA’s storyline, in its current form and in its future presumably, is a reflection of the events of Azran Legacy.

now this is something picarats DID say, though not entirely in verbatim, during the episode 20 stream. i promise u with every ounce of gay power in my body that he said that the anime’s storyline reflects azran legacy’s.

unfortunately, i do NOT have a screenshot because i was too busy having a psychiatric breakdown in the middle of the episode. if anyone took a screenshot of him saying that, pls send it to me, i will credit and love you forever. <3

that single hint during that stream is EXTREMELY crucial and most likely the most important one, it was one of the things that spurred my thinking about this theory, so essentially

BUT you may ask, lUKE, what is so important about the fact that the anime is supposed to mirror azran legacy?? whats the significance of that??

well.. u mere mortal... im about to give you a series of events from both azran legacy and LMDA

azran legacy was an adventure to discover the secrets of the azran, right?

right.

emmy, his loya resourceful assistant and friend of whomst he TRUSTS, is with him up until they are moments away from unlocking the secrets, right?

right.

then, this devastating shit happens.

youtube

emmy shows remorse for betraying layton but tells him she was doing it for someone else and wouldn’t have done it otherwise.

everyone dies.

are you following my thought process so far?

now lets go to LMDA’s current canon storyline

layton reunites with luke, who is acting nervous constantly and wears an outfit similar to the people who want the relic stones for malicious intent

layton, fully trusting luke, leave katrielle to go on an adventure to find the relic stones, a series of artifacts that are linked to the azran.

they go on the adventure and then become moments away from unlocking the secrets of the relic stones

LAYTON GOES MISSING.

thanks picarats, that single sentence you said in a stream has turned me into a conspiracy theorist

are we broken yet? are we all nice and broken yet?? good. now we get to talk about LUKE’S POSSIBLE MOTIVES.

Luke’s Possible Motives for Betraying Layton

now this is yet another juicy part of the theory, and probably where the biggest counterargument might come into play, which is:

“bUt LUkE WoUld NeV ER dO tHAT”

bUT i will give you my theories on luke’s possible motives for concocting a scheme that wild, but before i do, i would like to give u a memorable quote from clove dive that basically sums up the point im about to make:

we, as a fandom, are collectively forgetting that it is unrealistic to think luke has barely changed in terms of personality and motive

do i blame us? no. after all, we’ve known luke as an innocent boy for about 11 years now.

hino knows this. hino knows how good we think luke is. that’s why i said that his attempt to make us ignore the hints is WORKING.

and like i said, i can’t blame any of us at all for wanting to believe that luke hasn’t changed, but its simply unrealistic.

as much as we don’t like to believe it, luke and layton have basically barely if not at all interacted for several years up until this point

luke is not a boy. something about luke has changed.

and this theory attempts to connect just what that change might be.

like i said before, i wholeheartedly disbelieve that in the event this theory is accurate, luke has ‘turned evil’ just like we all believe emmy didn’t turn evil.

they were forced to do it for something that they deeply cared about.

they were forced to betray their friend for something bigger.

and i think that’s a damn exhilarating plot device.

Conclusion

now you might have guessed that in this point in the theory i’ve gone from being serious into shitposting as my thought process usually does, and also i’ve been working on this since 3 AM, so im gonna go ahead and wrap this up with a disclaimer before you throw a chair at me.

i am in no way implying that this is canon or SHOULD be canon. i love luke and don’t want to see him betray layton, but this theory is meant to purely speculate the possibilites of the future of this anime

in a nutshell...

its just a theory.

A GGAAMMEE TTH E EE O RR Y.

#professor layton #pl #lmda #lmj anime #layton anime #layton theories #layton anime theory #hershel layton #luke triton #shut up luke #luke's crackpot theories

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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From Embracing PDA to Choosing Happiness: 7 Love Letters to Pride

http://fashion-trendin.com/from-embracing-pda-to-choosing-happiness-7-love-letters-to-pride/

From Embracing PDA to Choosing Happiness: 7 Love Letters to Pride

Toward the beginning of June, we asked you to share your personal stories about finding LGBQT+ pride, however meandering or direct your path. Below are seven different experiences, from coming out accidentally, to fighting for space, to choosing happiness over anything else.

Palm trees and droplets of water line my periphery. I am quiet, small, serene. The breeze comes lazily, hot air blowing bamboo wind chimes left and right and back again. They whisper to each other, the clusters of fine wood sharing secrets.

My father has a glassy-eyed, wine-induced stare fixed on my phone screen as I scroll through Instagram. He slurs through his stupor: “Are you okay?” I assure him casually that I’m okay, tossing my phone onto the couch as I head into a cabana for a mid-afternoon nap.

Drunk from the sun and the day I draw the curtains and drift off to sleep. I wake up startled — I fell asleep with the sun ablaze outside, but it’s gone now. There’s no discernible moonlight, and I know I have slept too long. I stumble out of bed and into the bathroom, splashing my face with water to wake myself up.

I walk through the sliding doors to the patio that leads to the kitchen, my throat begging for a sip of water, and my father grabs my arm with tears in his eyes. “I have to talk to you,” he says. I tell him to talk. “Not here. Not in front of everyone,” he replies.

Who died? is my first thought. Which grandparent? Is the dog okay? It’s not unusual for him to be emotional after a few glasses of rosé, but this feels different, somehow.

He tells me he spent the two hours I was resting sifting through his mistakenly gathered information, retracing each step of his parenting, beating himself up for not doing better.

Through his tears, he apologizes for trying to make me someone I wasn’t. He explains he saw a picture of a shirtless surfer on my Instagram feed over my shoulder earlier and thought I was on Tinder. He asks me if I am gay — I say yes, thinking he asked me if I was okay. He tells me he spent the two hours I was resting sifting through his mistakenly gathered information, retracing each step of his parenting, beating himself up for not doing better.

Flashbacks of pain from my childhood race through my brain like the slideshow of photos he made for me on my 18th birthday: the look on his face when I brought my Ariel doll to school with me, when I begged for Avril Lavigne tickets instead of rugby gear, when I dyed my hair red because I felt like I was fading away.

Then I remember the good stuff: pride beaming through a smile that reached his eyes when I graduated, the tears in his eyes when I performed my first headlining set at the Hard Rock Cafe. I realize: I am finally okay. This is okay. We are okay.

The secret that burned my psyche for 20 years is out there, by accident, in the lap of the person I thought I would never tell. My father looks me in the eyes and says, “I couldn’t be prouder of who you are. I wouldn’t change you for the world.”

Hello. My name is Allyson, and I am bisexual. Sounds more like a confessional you might hear at an AA meeting, right?

I hate having to define my sexuality; I feel that I need to define myself for others more so than for myself. I have one foot in the closet and one foot in the world of acceptance. The bisexual community is forever in the closet. We are looked at like a step sibling — not fully a member of the straight community, not fully a member of the gay community.

My close friends know I am dating a woman and support our relationship, but I am petrified for my (male) ex to find out or to tell my family. I am petrified to be vulnerable in the face of the family that has made derogatory comments about the LGBTQA+ community in the past. I am so comforted by the brave souls who have gone before me and come out. As a recovering Catholic, I am most saddened by keeping my partner from my family, feeling as though I am guilty of lying by omission. I have an inkling my parents know I am dating someone. My dad has asked me on multiple occasions who “4546” is that I am calling and texting during the week late into the night. 4546 are the last four digits of my partner, my love.

Our love story is one of those meet-cutes that Tinderites adopt when they don’t want to tell people they met their significant other online. I live in a tiny mountain town on the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo mountain range in Southern Colorado. My partner lives in a tiny Mormon town nearly two hours south.

After our first date in her studio, I wrote some love notes on paint chips and stuck them underneath the windshield wipers of her Toyota 4Runner.

One crisp summer night in mid-August 2017, I decided to go to a poetry reading with a new group of friends. That same night, my partner decided to get out of her six-mile radius and go to the same poetry reading. When she performed her poems, I knew I had to talk to her. After acquiring the sort of courage you can only acquire at one of these poetry readings (if that guy sat up there for ten minutes talking about the beautiful color change of leaves in the fall, I think I can go up there and share my truth), I got up and read some of my own. At the end of the evening, my future partner came up to me and said, “That was really brave of you, thank you for sharing.”

Later, after some serious detective work, I found her (and her art) on Facebook. Her words were so comforting to me: “How are you going to change the world? Through language. If I provide the opportunity for change and one person receives it, I’ve done my job.” Lock and key, I have been loving her ever since, and together we have been scheming about how we will bring positive change to the communities we thrive in.

After our first date in her studio, I wrote some love notes on paint chips and stuck them underneath the windshield wipers of her Toyota 4Runner. She didn’t find the notes until the next morning, after turning on her wipers to clear the snow. I was in Albuquerque when she messaged me about hanging out on my way back through Colorado. Our first dates were bookends to the long weekend, and our second date revolved around watching Girl, Interrupted, a walk outside at sunset, a potluck with close friends and our first kiss, lying in bed in the dark with our eyes open.

Around this time a year ago, I had to take a $65 Uber ride from a burger place in Torrance to my apartment in Downtown Los Angeles after getting dumped by my first Love. I came home crying and into the arms of my mother, a Filipina immigrant. She asked why I was crying, and I told her that I got dumped by a girl. I’d finally had the pride to tell my mother I was gay. That night, she slept on the bottom half of my bed to watch me fall asleep as tears rolled down my cheeks.

I grew up in a typical Asian household in Southeast Asia. Coming out in a developing third-world country was not a “good option.” Nevertheless, my queerness was an open secret. I got a pixie cut when I went to college and was not proud to be regarded as the 6th lesbian in school, so I purposely dated boys to validate my heterosexuality to my peers. My mother was living in Los Angeles at the time, more than 7,000 miles away. She would call to tell me how much she missed me — and my long, black, shiny hair. Numerous times she warned me not to date guys out of fear that I’d get knocked up at a young age. In my head my eyes would roll, for it was an absurd warning.

We held hands after our fourth date. To hold her hand felt very uncomfortable, but also right.

During my sophomore year, I grew out my hair and moved to Los Angeles to be with her. The freedom to come out felt closer than ever, but it still took me a year, when I met Molly, to finally dress up in button-downs and bring back my pixie. Molly and I dated for three months. We held hands after our fourth date. To hold her hand felt very uncomfortable, but also right.

One chilly night, over dinner, she asked if she could kiss me. I pretended not to hear her and kept eating my burger. When we walked out of the restaurant, she told me that she needed to find someone who actually cared about her. I told her that I did care for her. She began to cry in the middle of the crowded plaza. When we sat down, she leaned in for a kiss and I shoved her face away as I looked around at the crowds. I was afraid to publicly display my affection for her because I cared more of what people would think. I knew that she felt hurt and unwanted, and it made me realize something as simple as PDA is a heterosexual privilege. I have publicly made out with boys before, but I never found the courage to kiss the girl I loved until I lost her.

And so, at 11 p.m., I spent $65 to get home, full of regret and shame. It was that night I realized that in order to express pride, I had to be able to express being “queer” without any fear of judgment — from finally buzzing my head to holding my significant other’s hand in public. It was also the night that, for the first time ever, I told my mother about my sexuality.

Now, a year later, I have proudly kissed five beautiful queer women in public and have only spent my money on metro rides.

I had been dating a man for seven years. We were likely to get married any day, I thought. But something felt unsettled. I often felt lonely. At the time, I worked as a hostess in a nice restaurant. I often worked back-to-back shifts; I wanted to leave but couldn’t find the steps out. My relationship began to feel the same way: unobserved and slowly chugging along. I had accepted that I would always feel this way. The feeling of loneliness was my closest relationship. It was on a crisp fall evening that all would shift.

On a whim, I went to an ’80s dance night with my friend and on the way, she asked, “Oh! do you remember Bee?”

I said yes.

“They’ll be there tonight and are very gay now!”

I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but I was intrigued to find out. Bee had gone to a different high school then me, but I remembered the name, and that they had been very popular.

When we walked in, my memory is that the crowd opened and there, in the middle of the dance floor, was Bee. Wearing a red backwards baseball cap and a white T-shirt with a wolf howling and a razor blade on it, Bee looked like a confident, incredibly handsome and mischievous boy. We said hello, eyes locking as though we had so much to tell each other, if only we could find the time to tell it.

Later, when my friend left after a bit of dancing, I stayed. Like magnets, Bee and I started talking. I felt so enlivened; Bee’s confidence and swagger filled me. Bee had just graduated from Columbia University and was telling me about all sorts of amazing projects they were involved in. How could I jump on board?! Is all I kept thinking.

Bee was passionate and mindful, confident but refrained, sweet and intuitive. I was completely enamored. Shortly after that night, I heard that Bee was moving to Los Angeles. I remember taking a shower and feeling heartbroken. I tried to comfort myself. We only met one time. The ache overtook though; I felt like I was meant to take Bee’s hand in a great adventure. I felt it so deeply I could almost see it.

I got word about a month later that Bee had gotten a job in our hometown and would be staying for the time being. I quickly gathered myself and went into action mode. I knew in my heart that we were meant to be together. When Bee and I finally went on our first date, it was the feeling of two peas finding their pod. I loved Bee’s presence. Their confidence and style was beyond sexy. And the wisdom that comes with going against what is put on you as a norm provided such a special insight. I would say it was love at first sight.

That day, I repeated to myself under my breath: ‘You have a right to be here.’

Bee and I got married on June 17th, 2011, in Washington D.C. so that our marriage would be legal. Looking back, I am so proud that we made such a strong political statement with only the strength of wanting something as personal as love.

We navigated wanting to be married legally, but not as a same-sex couple, because that’s not how we identify — Bee feels most comfortable with a more masculine identity, but when going to check off that binary box, neither feels entirely right. We let the officiant know our chosen pronouns. And we slowly fought for our space to be. That day, I repeated to myself under my breath: “You have a right to be here.” And when I looked in Bee’s eyes as we were wed, I saw that Bee saw me. I was finally being seen and loved.

On June 17th, we will celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary with our one-and-a-half-year-old son, Jack, and our dog, Harry. And I was right: it has been a grand, sweet and loving adventure.

I knew from the very beginning of puberty that there was something different about me. I was titillated by Francesca Lia Block’s fantastical world of bisexual fairies and scanned the backs of obscure VHS tapes for any indication of homosexual content. But I was also desperate to fit into the socially acceptable constructs of my Midwestern youth. I told myself that maybe I just felt ALL things really intensely and everyone had similar experiences.

In high school, I dated boys (and men, unfortunately), but harbored secret crushes and had my share of make-out sessions with “good friends.” I shelved any self-reflection and was careful to never label myself. Then, after a post-breakup study abroad program in college, I knew I could not forever question what it might be like to date a woman but never try it. I was always one to admire those who lived outside of socially acceptable norms, so why I was so afraid to join their ranks? Shortly after returning to the United States, I had my first serious girlfriend. The experience was eye-opening for me, because even though the person was ultimately not right, so much of the experience was.

Still, I couldn’t really accept myself. I kept quiet, afraid for people at college to know and terrified to tell my cousins or best friends. I wasn’t proud; I was afraid. I knew that this was me, but I didn’t see a reflection of myself — this super femme, fashion-obsessed bookworm — in the lesbians I knew or knew of. Life seemed more exciting, fast and tinged with possibility, but I felt so uncertain.

I learned so much from my mistakes; I don’t need to fit neatly into a label. It’s vastly more important that I honor love and live authentically.

Somewhere along the line, to complicate things, I fell in love with my best friend. She was one of my five college roommates and had also embraced her sexuality later in life. I was in love, but I was terrified. Was I gay? Would this ruin our friendship? Ruin her romantic prospects? Those few years in my early twenties, in which I desperately loved her but also denied my true self and, by turn, her true self, are some of the most shameful in my memory. I didn’t allow either of us to be proud. I kept our love secret and dismissed it, acted flakey and irresolute. I hurt her. I hurt myself. And she hurt me. It was only after things ended between us in a deeply painful way that I truly embraced who I was. Through that pain, I found my pride. I learned so much from my mistakes; I don’t need to fit neatly into a label. It’s vastly more important that I honor love and live authentically.

Luckily, not all was lost. Despite the hurt and tumult, we eventually got back together. Fought (and loved) our way through an open long-distance relationship to a monogamous one. Moved to Brooklyn, where she eventually proposed. I came out to all my family, colleagues, friends and any random person that inquired about my marital status. We had a big, fabulous wedding in Minneapolis months after gay marriage was legalized there and everyone cried buckets.

I couldn’t be prouder. Of her, of us, of the life we have carved out together or of the baby we worked hard to make and will welcome next month. This June, I honor the struggle for pride on a macro- and micro-level and the ways our society has eradicated labels and divisions and strives to allow everyone to love freely, no matter what that looks like or who sits in the White House. I’m proud to be a gay American, desperately in love and, very soon, a gay mom!

At the end of May, I celebrated one year as a woman. I sometimes struggle to wrap my head around the fact that I made it happen and that it went so well.

I know that there are many who never take that step. If you are considering it, I hesitate to urge you do so because every situation is different. You may not wish to risk your current life, be it family, job, etc. That is understandable. All I ask is you don’t close the door on the possibility.

For me, I kept my relationships, my job and so on. I lost nothing but the baggage — the years of anxiety and the years of worrying about being outed. Unfortunately, I may be in the small percentage of transgendered individuals who can say that. I hope I’m wrong in that assumption, but so much of what is reported in the media is the bad. But “bad” is not always the end result. You can come out the other side being who you were meant to be, bettering your life and, most importantly, being happy. Being happy is f-ing fabulous!

What follows is an abridged version of the coming out announcement I posted to Facebook on the morning my transition was announced at the office. It’s a short synopsis of my journey and where I was a little over a year ago. Take what you can from it and know that the journey is there for you if you choose to take the first step.

***

The time has come to address the cryptic posts of the last few months, to clear some New Year’s resolutions that have lingered way too long, to fulfill what I once thought was only a dream.

What has this all been about? It’s been about how I want to live my life. It’s about being happy and not settling for contentment. Screw being content. I want to be HAPPY. That’s something I never thought I would say.

Ten years ago, I reached a crossroads where I had two paths in front of me. One path was to stay as I was, battling my demons and hoping for the best. The other was a riskier path, but one that offered a chance to defeat my demons and live the life that I deserved.

I chose the latter.

I chose wisely.

I chose to become a woman.

There. I said it.

Ten years ago, I decided to figure out if becoming a woman would resolve the anxiety I’ve been dealing with off and on almost my entire life (the first inkling was in elementary school). There have been periods when I could suppress it and periods when I could not, but it was always there.

So I started experimenting — taking little steps and evaluating how each step made me feel. Each time it felt right, so I took another step. In late 2015, I decided to confirm everything that I thought, everything that I had read and every step I’d taken. I talked to a therapist. Turned out I was a textbook case of “gender identity disorder.”

If you’re not familiar with gender identity disorder, it’s not cross-dressing or being a drag queen (no offense intended). It is also independent of sexual partner preference. Gender and sexual preference are not related. Gender identity disorder is also genetic. It has ZERO to do with how you are raised, a point I repeatedly drive home with my parents. Someone on either side of my family (or both) was like me, whether they were aware of it or not.

I mean it. I’m happy. That’s what this journey has given me. Happiness.

I started hormones in 2016. The first few weeks were an utter panic because I was afraid of the unknown (and almost everyone knows I can’t deal with anything medical, i.e., I faint). The panic eventually subsided and I forgot about it. Then, at a point that I can’t pin down, I became happy. The shit in my head was gone. When someone asks how I am now, I say “fabulous,” “super” or “fantastic.” And I’m not saying that to just say it — I mean it. I’m happy. That’s what this journey has given me. Happiness.

My new name is Genevieve. It honors the original, but also gives me the opportunity to define the new me. Don’t fret if you happen to call me Gene, Geno, Andy (from younger days) or any pronoun such he, him, etc. I will still respond. This is a change for everyone, and I recognize it will take time.

I was planning to thank everyone that helped make this possible, but after ten years, the list is long and simply too much to include here. You know who you are. You had a hand in this journey, and I owe each one of you a debt of gratitude. You have always shown me nothing but encouragement and, most importantly, respect. I love all of you.

I also want to thank those I informed leading up to this announcement. You are my dear friends and co-workers who were unaware or unsure. Please don’t hold it against me that you were not “in the know,” but this was a journey I had to make in some seclusion. Your response, including the response from my company, has been overwhelming. I’m simply blown away by it and I love all of you as well.

My parents are still processing this, and it’s going to take a while. My initial discussion with them went much better than expected. There was no crying, yelling or screaming. Initial shock, yes, but we worked through it. People who love each other do that. By the end, I heard the words that I wanted to hear above and beyond anything else…they love me and will support me no matter what. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

I’m posting this to Facebook because I want you to be informed. Ignorance and misinformation could be hurtful for my friends, co-workers, parents and myself, and I’d rather avoid it. If you have a question, ask me. Ask me in the comments of this post, reach out by messenger or however you would like. I can’t promise you I have all the answers, but I’ll honestly tell you all I can.

If you can’t wrap your head around this, that’s fine. If you want to unfriend me, that’s fine too. You do what you feel is right, but what you do is not going to change how I choose to live my life. I’m choosing HAPPINESS.

A rainbow comes after a storm. For many LGBTQIA+ youth, there is that storm.

With multiple deaths by suicide in the national spotlight, it seems important to highlight how LGBTQIA+ youth are extremely at risk. According to the CDC, lesbian, gay and bisexual teens are almost five times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. So while it’s important to celebrate this Pride Month, it’s also important to be aware of these realities and to shower others/ourselves with “I see you” love and kindness. For queer youth and our allies: LGBTQIA+, people of color, folks with disabilities.

I can’t speak for the entire queer community, but I would personally love if Pride were a celebration for all the otherness people feel and experience. Let your freak flag fly! Tell your friends, family and chosen family that you love their freak flag!

You can bet I’ll be bopping to Hayley Kiyoko while wearing a rainbow caftan, screaming to my queer family and allies that they all matter and that they make this world more special.

As a self-identified queer, white cis-female, I have privileges. With those privileges, I can champion others around me. So, how am I celebrating Pride? You can bet I’ll be bopping to Hayley Kiyoko while wearing a rainbow caftan, screaming to my queer family and allies that they all matter and that they make this world more special.

To quote Lena Waithe, as everyone should: “The things that make us different, those are our superpowers — every day when you walk out the door and put on your imaginary cape and go out there and conquer the world because the world would not be as beautiful as it is if we weren’t in it.”

Here are two quick things that might save a life or brighten someone’s day:

Donate to The Trevor Project, the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.

Send a gif or text/call a friend to tell them that you were thinking about them. Reach out — that’s what matters. And while you’re at it, might I suggest a “Happy Pride” to your queer fam? A rainbow flag flying behind a bald eagle gif recommended, but not required.

Feature photo via Getty Images.

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