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cartierre · 11 months

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DIVINE FEMININE | cl16

SOCIAL MEDIA!AU charles leclerc x fem!reader

side note: i purposefully left out any tweets because this focuses more on the aesthetics side note pt.2: thank you @cl16version for the photo inspirations!

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viviennewestwood yourusername wears a custom wedding gown created just for her beautiful wedding to Formula One driver charles_leclerc in the South of France last weekend.

"When I was younger I always liked to imagine what my future wedding dress would look like. As soon as I met Vivienne at a fashion show, I knew she had to be part of it. I feel very honoured to have worked with her and other amazing designers on my look. It felt like a dream come true." ~ Y/N Leclerc

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user1 imagine having THE vivienne westwood custom design your wedding dress ⤷ user2 thank god charles has money because otherwise that dream would've stayed a dream

yourusername still baffled by all the amazing looks you created for me to wear throughout the night! what an honour! comment liked by viviennewestwood

user3 the way they wrote 'Y/N Leclerc' has me in tears (in an emotional way) ⤷ user4 i still can't get over the fact they truly married. i'm so happy for them

user5 Y/N LOOKS SO STUNNING ⤷ user6 the most beautiful bride

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daniel3.jpg unpaid, personal photographer

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user7 i want a whole documentary about what happened at this wedding ⤷ user8 it looks so much fun i'm so envious of all the guests that attended ⤷ user9 i know everyone who had to cancel is fighting the air right now

yourusername the picture of charles is my new favourite ⤷ daniel3.jpg same, same

user10 i love how with every slide the drunkeness scale rapidly increases ⤷ user11 as it should

charles_leclerc yes, we definitely enjoyed ourselves ⤷ daniel3.jpg the champagne was endless

user12 it's so funny that daniel is the first one to post about the wedding. he is really their number one fan ⤷ user13 i mean he was the one to introduce y/n to charles ⤷ user14 it's like he's watching his two babies getting married

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yourusername to love & to cherish

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user15 i love how she just has multiple wedding dresses ⤷ user16 she's that kind of indecisive

charles_leclerc mon seul et unique amour (my one and only love) ⤷ yourusername i love it when you speak french

danielricciardo i want nieces and nephews in an instant ⤷ yourusername who said you'd be their uncle ⤷ danielricciardo that's not even a question

carlossainz55 felicidades ⤷ yourusername thank you

user17 i just know nicola peltz is crying in her sleep right now ⤷ user18 nicola really thought she ate until y/n stepped up

lilymhe i still have tears in my eyes from how beautiful it was ⤷ yourusername wouldn't have been as beautiful as it was without such an organised maid of honour ⤷ lilymhe i was so scared something would go wrong

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charles_leclerc mon tout (my everything)

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user19 you know they're rich because not only did y/n have multiple custom made wedding gowns, but charles also had multiple suits ⤷ user20 did you expect anything less from them?

yourusername i love you so incredibly much ⤷ charles_leclerc i'm the luckiest man alive

user21 this is my royal wedding ⤷ user22 my met gala

scuderiaferrari congratulazioni! così felice per te! (congratulations! so happy for you!) comment liked by charles_leclerc

arthur_leclerc i still can't believe my big brother is finally married ⤷ charles_leclerc did you not believe in my charm? ⤷ arthur_leclerc honestly, no ⤷ yourusername it was actually my charm that got you wrapped around my fingers

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lando.jpg "the wedding of the decade"

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user23 why did it never occur to me that there'd be LITERAL CELEBRETIES attending their wedding ⤷ user24 yeah like you're telling me timmy, billie, zoe, bella and kendall were there? a fever dream, if you'd ask me ⤷ user25 this just makes me question who else was there

user26 this is just so fucking random hahahaha

yourusername i love how these are all pictures i have never seen before! next time i'll hire you and daniel professionally ⤷ charles_leclerc what do you mean "next time" ⤷ user27 Y/N HAHAHAHAHA

user28 the more pictures i'm seeing of this wedding, the more the desire comes for me to get married as well ⤷ user29 literally never wanted to get married until now

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc fanfiction #f1 instagram au #f1 social media au #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 fluff #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfic

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i-am-church-the-cat · 12 days

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I have a flower shop/tattoo parlor maxiel + loscar AU building from a tropical storm into a hurricane in my head so here are some thoughts

+ When Max hires him, this is what he says to Logan’s arrangement: “It is not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I can make it better.” What he really meant was that Max could make Logan better, but he wouldn’t come to understand that until later.

+ There’s a phone that sits on the back wall of Max’s shop. The first time it rang while Logan was working, he’d mistakenly answered it. He’d watched Max’s face go bleach white from across the shop as Logan answered “Hello, this is Verstappen’s Floral, how can I help you?” The barrage of angry Dutch he’d gotten back in return had shocked Logan into silence, making it easier for Max to steal the receiver from his hand. Now, Logan knows to just let it ring.

+ Oscar is pretty sure Daniel only gave him an interview because their moms are in a book club together. The owner of Honey Badger Tattoos was always friendly and outgoing but he was notoriously possessive about his art. In the ten years the shop has been open, it’s had four employees. Daniel Ricciardo, the founder, Daniel Kvyat, Daniel’s partner who he bought out after the first year, Lando Norris who worked part-time at the front desk, and now Oscar.

“I’ve never had an apprentice before, I probably wouldn’t be very good at it,” Daniel says during his interview. He’d said he liked Oscar’s work and already showed an interest in teaching Oscar more of his signature American style. But the guy was still hesitant, fidgeting with excess nerves. “Just ask Lando.

Lando nods from his seat at the front desk which Oscar can see from the open door of Daniel’s office. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time, I wouldn’t trust him to teach other people.”

Daniel does not look like that’s the support he was going for, wincing at the dry criticism but not arguing.

“That’s fine,” Oscar confirms with a shrug. He’s already done the majority of his apprenticeship under Mark Webber. But when the man decided he’d had enough of the South of France and was selling the shop and moving back to Australia, Oscar had to look for somewhere else to work. “I only have six months left before I can get my certification.”

Daniel doesn’t look very reassured. Oscar can take a hint so he decides to get out before he’s kicked out.

“Hey, it’s cool, mate, thanks for meeting with me anyway-”

“Can you start next week?” Daniel asks, leg bouncing up and down and rocking the desk he’s sitting behind. He sees Oscar’s confused expression and sighs. “I really need more help here.”

“Yeah,” Oscar decides, not looking a gift horse in the mouth. “I’ll text you my schedule.”

And that’s how he starts working for the Honey Badger.

+ “This is a tulip,” Max is saying in French, word draw out and pointing at the multi-colored bulbs. Logan has tried telling him that he’s lived in Europe for the majority of his life at this point and can do his job in English, French, and Spanish but Max doesn’t believe him. At least Logan’s starting to pick up more Dutch.

Logan is rescued from his impromptu language lesson by the bell on the door ringing. He turns towards the sound, customer service smile already in place.

“Hi, welcome to Verstappen Floral, how can I-”

“Oh, it is you again.”

Logan stops and looks at Max who is frowning at the guy who just came in. The man is curly-haired and tanned, with tattoos scrawled over the majority of visible skin. His grin is big and toothy when he shoots it at Max.

“Hey, Maxy, aren’t you happy to see me?”

Logan blinks in shock at the nickname. Even their regular customers don’t get to act that familiar with Max. Logan doesn’t get to act that familiar with Max.

Max crosses his arms, lips pursing. “For the last time, I do not know what these flowers mean. I speak four languages and plant is not one of them.”

“Always a ray of sunshine, aren’t you, Max?” The man asks, unphased by Max’s grouchy demeanor. He leans forward onto the glass counter, certainly leaving smudges behind, but Max surprisingly doesn’t yell at him about it. “Lando sent me to pick up his order.”

Lando is someone Logan knows. He comes in about every other week and talks to Max about streaming and video games that partly goes over Logan’s head. He always leaves with a red and white bouquet, though the flowers change each time.

“Why could he not come get them himself?” Max grumbles, heading in the direction of the cooler where they kept to-go orders. Daniel shrugs and wraps his knuckles against the glass.

"He was late for a meeting or something, you know I don’t ask about his other job,” Daniel supplies. He changes his focus to Logan and the blond is met with the full force of the man’s mega-watt smile. Logan blames his mom’s genes for how easily he blushes. “Hey, you’re the new guy, right?”

Logan opens his mouth to answer but Max is suddenly im between them, Lando’s bouquet in his hands.

“Yes, this is Logan, no, he does not want any of your garish tattoos.”

Daniel pouts at Logan’s boss. He wonders how it doesn’t look strange for a guy who’s at least 30 to be pouting.

“Don’t be mean, Maxy. I wasn’t even going to mention the tattoos.”

Logan racks his brain for tattoo shops nearby. They obviously have a close relationship outside of just Lando. And Lando did say he worked for an artist…

“Oh hey, are you the Honey Badger?” Logan asks, moving his head to be seen around Max’s wider frame. Daniel jerks his eyes away from Max’s, as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “I pass by there all the time. Not a lot of shops do American style out here.”

Daniel’s face lights up, looking between Logan and Max. “Max, you hired an American?”

Max sighs, more long-suffering than Logan thinks is necessary. “This is why I did not want you to speak with him. I knew you were going to be weird about it.”

“I’m not being weird!” Daniel argues. “I’m just surprised!”

Max and Daniel have another weird silent staring contest. Logan clears his throat reluctantly and they both snap to him.

“Um, where’d you learn to do that style?”

Daniel looks ready to excitedly burst into the story of his tattooing style and his interest in America, but Max cuts him off by pushing the bouquet into his chest.

“We do not have time for that, these are going to wilt. Take these to Lando.”

“Bossy, bossy,” Daniel murmurs, picking up the bouquet gently. He doesn’t sound annoyed by Max’s demands. Rather amused, actually. He shoots Logan another grin over Max’s shoulder. “I don’t envy you, mate. But hey if you want to talk tattoos, come by the shop sometime.”

“Definitely!” Logan agrees before Max can say anything else on his behalf. Daniel shoots him a one-handed finger gun before turning back to Max. His smile becomes a lot less joking and more sincere.

“See you later, Maximus”

Max loses some of his prickliness, voice soft when he says, “Goodbye, Daniel.”

+ There’s a man talking to Lando at the front desk when Oscar comes in that day. It’s neither of the two Oscar is used to seeing who come talk to Lando pretty regularly. Oscar’s pretty sure one of them’s his boyfriend and the other is his business partner but he can never tell which is which.

“Did you leave Logan alone at the shop?” Lando is asking while Oscar sets his station up.

“Well, I had to do it at some point,” the guy says, his accent reminiscent of German or Dutch. “What is the point of hiring another employee if I cannot leave for a few minutes?"

“Daniel never leaves me alone here,” Lando points out, a tad resentful. Oscar snorts.

“That’s because he has control issues,” Oscar claims. Both of the men look at him, one in amusement and one in confusion.

“Who are you?” The mystery guy asks. Weird, Oscar was going to ask him the same thing. He looks to Lando who makes the introductions.

"Max, this is Oscar, Daniel's new apprentice. Oscar, this is Max, one of our neighbors."

Oscar frowns. "I thought Max was your..." he trails off, leaving space for Lando to fill in the blank. He waves his hand.

"Different Max. This is Max Verstappen, he run's Verstappen Floral."

The new Max is still looking at him strangely. "Daniel does not take apprentices. He says he is a bad teacher."

Oscar shrugs, not sure what to tell him. He doesn't know how he got the job either. Luckily, he's saved from having to respond by Daniel coming out of the back office.

"Oscar, good, you're here, I wanted to talk about-" Daniel stops abruptly when he sees Max standing in the lobby. His entire demeanor shifts when he says, "Max, hey! What are you doing here?"

Daniel is normally a friendly guy, sometimes too much in Oscar's opinion, but he's practically glowing as he bounds over to Max. While Max's expression doesn't shift, his body language opens up to Daniel like one of his blooming flowers.

"I am talking to Lando about our stream tonight," Max answers. "He has not been very forthcoming with the details."

Lando tries to protest but even Oscar can see that it's a lost cause. This new guy showed up and suddenly it's like nothing else exists to Daniel. His boss giggles at nothing and that's when Oscar decides to get back to work.

#my writing #wip #is it a wip? im not sure #i still have more in my head but im sleepy so here #loscar #maxiel #logan sargeant #oscar piastri #max verstappen #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #formula 1 #f1 rpf #flower shop/tattoo parlor au #alternate universe

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cosmic-crybaby · 3 months

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Break My Heart Again- Tommy Shelby x Reader

Part 3

Summary: After being childhood friends, you and Thomas made a promise one day to get married, but when he returned from France, he came back a completely different man.

Warnings: Angst, mutual pining, betrayal, emotional manipulation, emotional whiplash.

It was 1919. Over a year since she left Thomas and the betting shop behind. [Name] was stuck in solitude for days, and each day her mother comforted her, easing her daughters cries until she slept. The first person to reach out to her since she had left, was Ada.

"Please talk to me [Name]," She had asked her friend, sitting across from her at the small dining table.

"There is nothing to say, Ada...I can't go back, not now," She picked at her nails anxiously, the deep burgundy lacquer slowly chipping away.

"Believe it or not, it hasn't gone completely to shit, but Aunt Pol is having a hard time finding reliable people to do your job-"

"That's not my job anymore," [Name] reminded her. "Listen I'm sorry...I really am,"

"Where will you go now?" Ada asked. The girl opposite to her thought for a moment, she could be a barmaid but the chances of running into the Peaky boys were high. Jobs for women were scarce now that the men are back. So she just opted to respond with a shrug.

"No idea, Ada..."

Over a year later and she managed to get a job at the local library. It was quiet, of course, but at the very least she was able to put some of her knowledge to good use. It paid well enough for her to live comfortably and it kept her hidden away from running into the Shelby Family. She was just glad she didn't have to resort to becoming a prostitute. Her mother would have a heart attack is that was the case. With the exception of Ada and Polly, who would often drop in to have tea with her and her mother or bring treats and gifts. Sometimes [Name] felt they only offered these gifts as peace offerings, of behalf of what Thomas had done. It was as if they still couldn't forgive him, and they would understand if she couldn't either.

Because in the last year, she had changed.

Physically and mentally. She had grown into a beautiful young woman, the stress of illegal betting and horseracing, the stress of Thomas Shelby had left her life, which in turn rewarded her to grow even more. In only a year, she begun to finally get noticed by the other young bachelors of Birmingham. Little did she know, she had them turning their heads all this time, she was busy with her eyes on someone else.

It was one afternoon when she met her current suitor. His name was Daniel and he was the sweetest man she had ever met. Considering she had only surrounded herself with the three Shelby men and the Peaky boys, that was a big change. While she was working at the front desk of the Library, he requested some aid in retrieving a couple of maps of the world. She didn't pay any mind to Daniel at first until the third and fourth week he had come in, still asking for her help.

"I remember you, I would assume you knew where the maps were by now," She quietly cut him off. This caught him off guard, making him flustered as he tried to search for his words. [Name] only smiled as she watched the dark auburn haired man blush more and more.

"I-I am sorry miss...I just," He cleared his throat. She arched her brow at him for a moment. He was at a loss for words as he admired her beauty. That day he had asked if she'd like to accompany him to some dinner in London, to get to know each other more.

It had been a very peaceful and cherishing month with Daniel, she found that he was a traveling business man and was looking to expand his company in America. But, like all good things it came to an end when Thomas Shelby came into the picture once again. While in London with Daniel, he took her to the shops to buy a new dress to meet his family one night. She had broken away from him as he spoke to the salesman about the dress he was about to purchase. Stepping outside to look at the lightly clouded sky, examining the different shops on the street.

"[Name]?" The voice sent shivers down her spine. She quickly turns at the mention of her name towards the deep voice.

"Thomas?" She asked, surprised to see him.

Seeing the man that broke her heart and betrayed her trust right in front of her eyes was like a whirlwind of emotions. She didn't know if she should stay, run, or beat him until he was blue and on his knees begging for her forgiveness.

But, she was better than that. She was with a man who actually loved her.

"It's nice to see you again," Thomas told her, stepping closer. She subtly takes a step back, clearing her throat as her eyes dart to the shop entrance, praying to God that Daniel will emerge soon so the two can leave the awkward interaction and never turn back.

"Yeah, sure, Thomas..." She nods slightly. Thomas Shelby didn't forget what happened between them over a year ago, but he was perplexed that she would still treat him like a stranger, even after all these years of being as close as they once were. Within that year of missing her by his side, he refrained from showing up at her home to see her, refraining from asking Ada and Polly to tell him what they had discussed when they visited her. Part of him hoped that her and her mother still took those evening walks in Uncle Charlies' yard after dinner. Thomas often found himself at Charlies' yard nearly every night, hoping he would run into her.

But that's exactly what she had avoided. [Name] did everything in her power to avoid every little place and thing Tommy knew about her. IT seemed to work, until this very moment.

"What brings you here?" She asked curiously. Hoping she didn't have to put her favorite dress shop in London on a list of places to avoid Thomas Shelby.

"Just...doing some business in London as it seems...until I saw you leaving the dress shop...thought I would come and say hello," He shrugged. [Name] looked down at her gloved hands, pondering her next words.

"I see...well, goodbye Thomas," She nods once, still avoided his eyes, afraid that once she sees his eyes again, it will start all over again. The warmth he gave her, the butterflies in her stomach, the cure to all of her hardships. She makes hasty steps past him, but his hand reaches out to grab her arm...it was gentle but firm as to not hurt her. He always knew how to be gentle with her.

"[Name], please..." He said quietly. She felt the tears brim her eyes as she slowly turned to him again. Slowly lifting her gaze to his eyes. Once he saw her tears, it was like everything around them had stopped. It was just them two together and no one else.

"What Thomas? What could you possibly want from me now?...After all this time, when I am finally happy you come into my life again, why?" She asked, sniffling as the small tears rolled down her high cheekbones and onto her chin. Her skin blushed, and her eyes were red with salty tears. He was at a loss for words at first.

He gently spoke her name again, reaching down to pick up her hand in his, testing the waters to see just how much she will accept from him. Her hand twitched and nearly jerked away as he slipped her glove off. Feeling the warmth of his skin made her comply. His hands were rough now, from the years of digging tunnels and fighting. She had no doubt that his hands and mind were both distressed.

"I...I'm sorry for how things ended between us...frankly I can't stop thinking about you," He told her regretfully. Her eyes were shining in the dim light of the London sun, the tears glistening as they roll. Each one looking like diamonds.

"You're sorry...After a year you're finally sorry," She almost laughed. Thomas only sighed.

"Yes of course! and...and I regret everything I said, I can't live my life without you, [name],"

"You should have thought about that before you asked me to marry you!" Her voice raised just a bit, before realizing that she was still in public, as to not bring attention to herself. For once, Tommy didn't know what to say next. His eyes darted across her face. Her cheeks were red, her brows were furrowed in frustration, and her lips... Oh those lips he had always wanted to kiss deeper each night upon his return, they were downcast in a frown. He released a sigh when he realized her eyes had not left his this entire time. He knew she still loved him deep down. She just couldn't bear it. His thumb ran over the top of her hand gently.

"I hurt you, I know that now and...There is nothing else I can say other than I am immensely sorry, give me another chance [name], I can prove it to you that I am a new man, as friends or more I need you in my life,"

His words made her lips tremble as she closed her eyes to think and steady her breath. She opened her eyes first before she opened her mouth to speak.

"[Name]?" A voice called, and suddenly the bubble bursts. It was like the busy street surrounding them suddenly became clear again. It wasn't just the two of them in the world anymore. She turned her head from Thomas to Daniel. The man she adored more than anything, as he searched for her. Thomas also managed to sneak a glance at the stranger, and his cold heart sunk a little deeper into the pit, leaving a sour taste in his mouth and a clenched jaw. She looked back at Thomas.

"Think about it," He whispered before walking off.

[Name] stood in her place in stillness as she tried to process what just happened to her. Daniel approached her, smiling widely as he informed her that he purchased the dress and reassuring her that it will look lovely on her for the dinner party with his family. She gave him a small smile before it quickly faded when he looked away from her.

The days leading up to the dinner party, she had thought of Thomas. It was like he himself had infected her mind as she had no more room to think clearly of anything else besides him and the words he spoke to her. But could she really trust him again?

Should she trust him again?

Every day and every night she had spent with Daniel, she tried her best to reciprocate the love he had for her, but somehow something was wrong. She didn't love him the way she loved Thomas. The night of the dinner party, she waited for Daniel to pick her up. Wearing the dress he had bought her, the jewelry she borrowed from her mother, and the hair and makeup she spent hours perfecting just to impress his family.

"What's wring, dear? Your hands are shaking," Her mother pointed out as she helped her daughter prepare.

"I...I don't think I can do this," She swallowed thickly. But before her mother could even ask, there was a ring at the door. [Name's] stomach was in knots and her blood ran cold. Her mothers words of encouragement were drowned out by her own raging heartbeat. When she opened the door, her mouth was agape. Expecting to see Daniel, instead Thomas stood at the front door.

Out of breath and panting. No words were exchanged as they stared at each other. She nearly leaps into his arms as she engulfs him in a tight embrace. It felt right, being in his arms again. Like they were kids again.

The following days, she kept her distance from Daniel, much to her mothers dismay. She had written him a letter.

To my Darling Daniel, I am sorry things had to happen this way. You had shown me the love no man has ever shown me before. But I am afraid I do not deserve it. Our time together was more than I could ask for, but I simply cannot keep loving you the way you want me to. I will forever cherish our memories together in my heart, as you were the only man to treat me a way a woman should be treated. I hope you find love again, and the next woman you find love in will be a very lucky to have you. I will always have you in my heart. [Name].

With the letter, she returned the dress he had bought her, she thought it would be ill-mannered to keep it. She hadn't heard from him after that. Not even a letter back, but she knew why. She would never hold that against him.

The following week, [Name] had began showing her face around the betting shop again. Here and there popping in to talk to Ada and Polly, slipping away into Tommy's office to speak with him when he wasn't busy. It was a but of a shock to the Shelby women when they saw her. They thought she was crazy for showing up again, but she had reassured them that everything was fine.

For months on end, [Name] and Thomas would spend their time together. Hand in hand as they drunkenly walked along the streets after visiting a pub on the weekends. Dancing to records in her home, holding each other close as they slow danced in the fire-place lit room. One night they went to the old hill, the same hill they used to go to when they were kids. Laying beside each other, drinking a bottle of cheap wine as they star-gazed. It was the only place where the sky wasn't absolutely covered by the smoke and smog of the city.

"I forgot how beautiful the sky was at night," She spoke softly as she sat up, eyes scanning the sky.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" He asked, leaning his shoulder against hers. She takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly with a nod, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Thomas?" She asked. He hums.

"I missed you,"

"I missed you too, [Name]," He spoke truthfully. That night, they shared a kiss.

A week later, she approached him in his office.

"Pol said you were going to the derby..."

"We are...It's an important matter of business, [Name],"

The girl sighs. "I know that...I also told you I would go with you if you needed me to,"

"No..."

"Uh- no?" She asked, perplexed.

"Absolutely not, Kimber is a dangerous man, you're not coming with us," He argued. She aggressively rolls her eyes and throws her hands up in the air before putting them on her hips.

"I was hoping to come talk to you without being interrupted-" She mumbled.

"And I was hoping you would know better than to ask to join on this mission-"

"Then who are you taking?" She interrupted him, crossing her arms. Thomas sighs, shaking his head in disbelief at her childish attitude.

"The barmaid,"

"The barmaid? Why the fuck would you take the barmaid?" She asked. He widened his eyes at her for a moment. She bit the inside of her cheek as she waited for his response.

"It's all a part of the plan, please trust me," He stood as he slowly walked to her, placing his hands on her shoulders to calm her mind. She pursed her lips, a solemn look on her face.

"I don't care who goes with you to the derby, I just can't sit here and hope you'll come out alive one of these days...I-" She pauses. "I adore you too much, Thomas,"

He pulls her into a tight hug, his hand caressing her hair as he kissed her forehead. "Everything will be okay," He reminded her. Lifting her chin to slowly look at him. Her eyes, as alluring as they were. His lips attack hers in a rough kiss. Pushing [Name] against the wall as her fingers pull at the fabric of his white shirt, his body pressing against hers. She could practically feel his heart beating against her chest. His hands slipping down her body, her waist to her hips to the roundness of her ass. His strong hands gripping every curve of her as he started pulling at her dress with his hands. Pulling away to catch their breath, but before she would dive in for another kiss Finn had burst through the door, inquiring that their Aunt Polly needed to speak to Thomas at once.

Begrudgingly letting him handle his business, she was left alone in his office, blushing and fanning herself with her hands as the heat began to rise, biting her lip in bafflement.

She wanted to see him again and ask about the kisses they had started. What they meant, what would have happened if they weren't interrupted. But Thomas too involved with conspiring against Billy Kimber. Fucking Billy Kimber. Hearing his name made her clench her jaw. He had been the talk of every family meeting since he found his way into Birmingham just weeks ago. But Thomas was just too busy. Too busy to talk to her. Eventually, too busy to even see her as frequently.

She recognized the pattern. It was what happened to her before he left for France. If only she could just read his mind, find out exactly what was going on in that head of his. From seeing him and his eyes, his smile every day, to seeing him at least once a week. This time he would still act the same with her. Kind, gentle, caring, but somehow she knew it was different. He wouldn't touch her, or kiss her like he used to. [Name] thought that maybe, just maybe, if she told him how she felt everything will go back to normal. Perfect even.

She just had to wait for the right moment.

When Thomas had come to her home for an evening tea with her and her mother, she decided that she would tell him then. The tea was nice, the conversations went well. [Name] was eager to finish, to get it all over with, waiting for their moment alone. Later that night, after her mother excused herself to bed, the two sat on the couch, sharing a whiskey as they talked. She sat her glass down when he called her name to get her attention.

"I need to tell you something,"

Her ears and cheeks grew warm as she looked at him, eyes brighter than ever.

"I actually need to tell you something too...but please go first," She smiled. Thomas turned his body slightly towards her, seemingly less enthusiastic as her. Thomas clears his throat before he spoke.

"I want to start off by apologizing for not seeing you as much these past few months, but I promise everything is going to work out for the better in the end, not just for my family, but for yours as well..." He paused, holding one of her hands in his.

"Thomas," She glances at their interlocked hands before looking up at him again. His blue eyes didn't look as bright in the dim lighting of the room.

"You have been with my family since the beginning, and you helped us out when we needed you the most, when everything takes off, I want you by my side through it all, promise me that you will do that for me [Name]," He requested. The young woman stares into his eyes once more and nods silently.

"I can't imagine leaving your side...ever," She stated quietly. Thomas looked down again, smiling slightly. As far as she knew he rarely smiled now...the only time she saw him smile was when he was with her.

"There was another thing I wanted to talk about," He started. She nods, urging him to continue. "There's a woman,"

His voice dropped low, the way he said 'woman' rumbled as her cheeks flushed. At the drop of a pin, her lively face slowly dropped at his words.

"A woman?"

She sank into the sofa as he spoke, but his words fell upon deaf ears. Her mind went numb, buzzing as she blankly stared off into the shadows of the room. He loved her, convinced her to leave Daniel, kissed her, treated her like she was the only woman for him...almost married her. All those years together, meant nothing to him. Once again. She should have known better than to get attached to a man like him.

A man only out for his own good.

"[Name]...You're crying," He pointed out, stopping mid-explanation to wipe the tear. She wanted to tell him. Tell him she loved him, that she wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of their lives. She looks at him and smiles.

[Name] shook her head and sniffled, chuckling and looking away to wipe the tear.

"I'm just...really happy for you Thomas...She seems like a nice woman," She didn't hear a word he said about her. The mystery woman that had stolen his heart.

'If only you knew what I felt'

After Thomas had left that night, she went to her room, sobbing in her bed. The heaviness in her chest weighted her down as she was held into place by rocks. The agony she felt, not only for herself but for hurting the only man that loved her. All for nothing. It was too late to go back now.

---

[Tag List]

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @milljane @cyphah @diosa-ahre-blog @badlandsbrunette @adaydreamaway08 @namelessghoul0 @deltamoon666 @cherryslyce @calmingmelody96

#spotify #peaky blinder fanfic #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x reader #x reader #peaky blinders #peaky fucking blinders #tommyshelbyxreader #light angst #friends to lovers

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werewolfetone · 8 months

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Hi! So this is gonna sound weird, but I’ve kinda been learning about Irish history backwards? Like, I started with the Troubles (bc of family involvement), then back to the 1916 rising which got me more interested in the people involved which took me further back and etc etc. I know I’ve been doing it “wrong” but I’m just starting to come up to the 1798. Do you happen to have any recommended readings or particular persons of interest to read? Any collections of primary sources would be more than welcome!

Secondary sources I would recommend:

The Year of Liberty by Thomas Pakenham - about the rebellion in general

The People's Rising by Daniel Gahan - about the rebellion in Wexford

The Summer Soldiers by ATQ Stewart - about the rebellion in Ulster

Wolfe Tone: Prophet of Irish Independence by Marianne Elliott - about Wolfe Tone

The Life and Times of Mary Ann McCracken by Mary McNeill - technically this is just about Mary Ann but I think it's pretty good for Henry Joy McCracken too because there aren't many biographies of him

Orangeism in Ireland and Britain 1795 - 1836 by Hereward Senior - obviously exercise caution on whether or not you think you can mentally handle this subject but book about loyalism during 1798

Castlereagh: War, Enlightenment, and Tyranny by John Bew - about Lord Castlereagh

2 things that I would also recommend reading about for context are the French Revolution and the British radical movement of the late 18th century. for the French Revolution 1 book I would say is good is Liberty or Death by Peter McPhee and for the British radical movement... the book The English Jacobins by Carl B Cone does a good enough job

Primary sources:

The Memoirs of Theobald Wolfe Tone by Theobald Wolfe Tone - title is pretty self explanatory. It's Tone's account of his own life + his diary

The United Irishmen, Their Lives and Times by RR Madden - this is considered to be the 1st history of the rising & was written with the help of many people who lived through it, so it includes a lot of first hand accounts. HOWEVER. beware that Madden was your archetypical mid 19th century Catholic Irish nationalist and the bias created due to that shows through in every single part of these books

Memoirs of the different Rebellions in Ireland by Sir Richard Musgrave - this is another very early history of the rising, also written with the help of people who lived through, also including a lot of first hand accounts. HOWEVER. Musgrave is like Madden's Orange counterpart in that this book is also wildly biased and should also be read with a degree of caution

Personal Narrative of the "Irish Rebellion" of 1798, Sequel to Personal Narrative of the "Irish Rebellion" of 1798, and History and Consequences of the Battle of the Diamond by Charles Hamilton Teeling - 3 accounts of politics in Ireland in the 1790s written by someone who as a young man led the Catholic paramilitary the Defenders

The Drennan letters (a collection of letters that Belfast doctor William Drennan and his sister, Martha McTier, wrote to each other between the 1770s and 1820s), if you can find them, are another great primary source on both the United Irishmen & on what life was like back then in general, as are the McCracken letters, which I know are available free online somewhere I just can't remember where exactly I got the pdf from

There are a lot of them but if you're interested in primary sources you might also read some of the political pamphlets/books that were going around back then -- the most famous that come to mind in this context are Wolfe Tone's Argument on Behalf of the Catholics in Ireland, Thomas Paine's The Rights of Man, and Edmund Burke's Reflections on the Revolution in France but there are wayyy more than that and at least some of them are on the internet archive

#1798 rebellion #united irishmen #asks #anon #irish history #jory.txt

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lovelytsunoda · 2 years

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lovelytsunoda

🌹 = personal favourite 🎄= christmas collection

🍑 = spicy / smutty 🍂 = cozy collection

🌩 = emotional / angsty 💍 = wedding saga

🐥 = domestic bliss

formula one drivers

series

the one direction series

( lance, lando, yuki, alex, mick, pierre and daniel )

the katy perry throwback series

( charles, carlos, george, esteban, zhou, oscar and logan )

family are the friends that you meet along the way ( platonic! mercedes x reader ) 🌩🌹

tina! the series

charles leclerc

radiator springs ( series )

summary: following a career-defining three-way tie in france, charles leclerc finds himself drunk on tequila as he aimlessly drives around. after crashing in radiator springs, a nowhere town in the french riviera, he finds himself behind bars and on the hook for a few thousand dollars in damage he caused on his drunken bender. a former hot-shot city lawyer convinces the mayor to make charles stay until he fixes the town square, and charles ruminates on lessons about, fame, life and love while he slowly falls for the lawyer that caused it all in the first place. yes this is the plot of cars, no i do not take criticism.

pinup (headcanons) 🌩 🌹

summary: charles has a great idea to help his girlfriend feel more confident in her body

haunted house ( the cozy collection 2022 ) 🍂

summary: charles and y/n go to a haunted house at the local fall fair. but the biggest scaredy cat of all may surprise you…

santa baby (the christmas collection 2022) 🎄🍑🐥🌹

summary: it's christmas morning, his mother has the kids, and it's been too long since he and his wife got to enjoy a little bit of quality time, if you get what he's saying

cake is definitely a form of self care (headcanons)

summary: the last month has been rough for both of them, so now that they're both home, together, with no obligations, charles has a really great (but also really dumb) idea a.k.a, baking with charles

I’m with you (drabble)(cozy collection 2023) 🍂

cozy fall things with charles

she sells sanctuary (kinktober 2023) 🍑

she wasn’t expecting him to be home so soon. and now that he is, she can’t stand seeing him so exhausted. a warm shower should fix that, right?

yuki tsunoda ( a.k.a the cutest human to ever grace planet earth )

enchanting ( headcanon ) 🍑

summary: italian winters are cold, and with y/n beside him, yuki thinks up a great way to warm up for the morning

paperback lover ( headcanon ) 🌹

summary: yuki’s girlfriend loves to read, and he loves to observe

this is halloween ( the cozy collection 2022 ) 🍂🌹

summary: for their first halloween together, y/n shows yuki all of the things that she loves about spooky season.

breakfast in bed (headcanons) 🍑🌹

summary: it's his girlfriend's birthday, and yuki has the best surprise planned: breakfast in bed, with a little something *extra* on the side

super bass (headcanons) (miami gp 2023 special!) 🍑🌹

summary: its media day in miami, and y/n's boyfriend can hardly say he's wearing a shirt . . . unfortunately, there's no time to slip away, so she's biding her time until they get back to the hotel and her lover can take his time with her.

flower power 🌹

summary: he has so much love in his heart, and finally there’s someone he can share it with. or, all the times yuki almost asked y/n to marry him, and the one time she said yes.

pour some sugar on me (kinktober 2023) 🍑🌹

a little bit of lavender candle oil and a hot masseur can make a long, gruelling day at work (and some serious back strain) have a very happy ending

god knows i've tried (the christmas collection 2023) 🎄🌩️🌹

stranded at her publishers office after the battery in her car dies, there's only one person she wants to call for a jumpstart

by my side

pasta always tastes sweeter when made together after a long week at work. all she wants is to bask in his sunshine. and hes all too glad to share his light with her

delicious 🍑

some unhinged thoughts

lance stroll

baby steps ( headcanon ) 🌹 🐥

summary: lance and y/n bring their daughter to a race for the first time. can be read as follow up to night changes

mr. brightside ( headcanon ) 🍑

summary: they’re supposed to be meeting sebastian for dinner, but once lance sees y/n in her dress, he gets other ideas

wait on me ( headcanons ) 🍑💍🌹

summary: the minute he met her, he knew she was his forever. now, when all the vows are said and done, he gets to make her his all over again. or, wedding night sex with husband!lance

apple cider and the tap tapping of little paws ( the cozy collection 2022 ) 🍂🌩🌹

summary: it’s their first fall living together, and lance thinks it’s time for the next step: adopting a puppy

tipsy (headcanons)

summary: eggnog, holiday spirit and christmas music. lucky for y/n, lance is a romantic drunk.

yule shoot your eye out (the christmas collection 2022) 🎄🍑🌹

summary: it was supposed to be a relaxing getaway. instead, a snowstorm traps y/n ocon and lance stroll inside the mount tremblant cabin they had rented. so until the snow melts, she's trapped with her brother's best friend, and forced to reckon with her feelings.

there's a honey(mini fic) 🍑🌹

lance thinks that the image of y/n reading her scandalously smutty romance book is the image of sensuality. or, private library sex with lance <3

i've been meaning to tell you (headcanons) (unofficial sequel to 'baby steps') 🐥

summary: y/n has something to share with her husband post bahrain 2023 that might make the whole weekend just a little bit sweeter

november rain 🌹💍🍑

summary: after four long years and one pandemic cancellation, it's finally time for y/n and lance to return home to mount tremblant and tie the knot.

slumber party (headcanons) 🐥🌹

lance gets left in charge of his daughters slumber party after his wife falls ill.

mr. ghostface (the cozy collection 2023) 🍂🌹🍑

a trip to spirit halloween with her husband plants an idea in lance's head that he can't quite shake. knowing how stressed his beloved has been lately, he just wants them to have a little bit of spooky and festive fun.

sleigh ride (the christmas collection 2023) 🎄🌹💍

christmas has never been his holiday. but she adores it, and he wants to make this christmas one that she won't forget.

don't go breaking my heart 🌹💍

weddings are joyous and festive, but can be stressful for introverts like lance and his wife. so when they were able to steal some moments with each other in the peace of his aston martin between the ceremony and the venue, they know these are the moments they will treasure the most from that day.

pierre gasly

bamboozled ( headcanon ) 🌹

summary: pierre told y/n they weren't getting a dog together. well, they got a dog and now pierre has a new best friend

tell me more ( headcanon ) 🌹

summary: pierre always knew y/n’s music taste was a little different, but when she takes him to a concert, he has no idea what he’s getting himself into..

if you like pina coladas ( the cozy collection 2022 )🍂🐥

summary: after a brilliant weekend away, pierre and his girlfriend get caught in a storm and debate the best way to run from the porsche to the front door. (mini fic)

mr. winter (the christmas collection 2022) 🎄

summary: bad weather is keeping her flight grounded for the foreseeable future. as her holidays fall apart, she meets a handsome stranger in the terminal next to hers.

she keeps me up (headcanons) 🍑

summary: driving in the storm was a bad idea. when she gets stranded at a rest stop, what's the harm in having a little bit of casual fun with the hot stranger that's also stuck there?

twelve fractures 🌩🍑🌹

summary: the four times that y/n leclerc almost called pierre gasly, and the one time that he gave in and called her.

lando norris

bath & body works ( headcanon )

summary: y/n can’t find her perfume. a quick face time to lando explains why

would it be a sin? ( cozy collection 2022 ) 🍂🍑🌹

summary: lando tries (and fails in the sweetest funniest of ways) to make his and y/n’s first night in their new house together a memorable experience

good girls go bad (headcanons) 🌹

summary: inspired by good girls go bad by cobra starship, y/n fancies the suave british dj that she meets in ibiza. dj!lando x female reader au

ribbons, scotch tape and holly (headcanons)

summary: a relaxing afternoon of wrapping christmas presents with her lover. at least, it was supposed to be. aka, lando is shit at wrapping presents

shut up and drive (street racing au!) (headcanons) 🌹

summary: headcanons i wrote after watching the fast and the furious movies . . . enough said. lando is infatuated with the woman in the pink mustang who kicks his ass in a bristol street race.

I want candy (mini fic) 🍑🌹

two p2s in a row for her lover boy deserves a reward.

kill of the night (the cozy collection 2023) 🍂🌹

she hates parties. especially quadrant parties hosted in large creepy mansions. at least the hot pirate hosting the party is into her, or she would have left ages ago.

give me a kiss (or three) 🍑

matching clothes shouldn't turn lando on this much. but here we are.

alex albon

hungry eyes ( headcanons ) 🍑 🌹

summary: rainy days for alex and y/n means movies, slow dancing, scented candles and soft sex in front of the fireplace

better weather ( mini fic ) 🌩

summary: holiday break is coming to an end, and his girlfriends anxiety is starting to kick in ( *cough* holiday burnout *cough* )

bump in the night ( the cozy collection 2022 ) 🍂🍑 (just a small smutty scene)

summary: y/n hates being scared, so when alex freaks her out on movie night, he takes advantage of that. or, where alex pranks y/n until he really can’t explain why the lights suddenly went out

the sexy alphabet 🍑

an nsfw alphabet.

under the mistletoe (the christmas collection 2022) 🎄🌹

summary: alex has the perfect answer to his girlfriend's seasonal sadness: keeping things festive and decorating the entire house, with a little bit of help from the cats, of course!

featherweight (headcanons) 🍑

summary: nsfw thoughts about alexander albon and feathers. as well as me rambling about how soft and romantic that i think he is because you should know by now that i am a hopeless romantic.

a sweet, sweet, fantasy baby 🍑🌹

summary: she thought that settling down with the love of her life was just a fever dream, that being loved just wasn't in the cards for her. but alex made her dreams come true with a small silver ring. or, engagement night sex with alex.

i saw mommy kissing santa claus (the christmas collection) 🎄🐥

alex has to keep up the illusion that santa claus is real, and every year gets more extreme than the last. he's got footprints to put on the living room floor and cookies to eat and stocking to fill . . . and at this rate, he's going to wake up the whole house.

daniel ricciardo

maybe, baby ( headcanons ) 🍑🌹🐥

summary: daniel and his fiancee decide it's time for a baby, at a time when his future looks more and more uncertain

the songs that remind us of the good times (headcanons)

summary: singapore brings the best result of daniel's season. let the celebrations and declarations ensue

jack and sally ( the cozy collection 2022 ) 🍂💍🌹

summary: scotty and chloe are throwing a halloween party, and danny and y/n think they've got the best couples costume in the entire party.

cuts like a knife ( headcanons ) 🌹🐥

summary: he's a local legend in perth, and she's just the girl that works at the dive bar. ( for all intents and purposes, every song that he sings is by bryan adams. )

baby, it's cold outside (the christmas collection 2022) 🎄🌹🐥

summary: daniel and his wife celebrate his first christmas without f1 with their daughter while they reminisce on how they got there.

the right temperature to be keeping you warm (kinktober 2023) 🍑

she’s not used to october being as warm as it is when she joins daniel in perth for thanksgiving. the heat is unbearable, and daniel has a fun way to cool her down.

vermont (the christmas collection 2023) 🎄

the ski trip sounded all well and good in theory. except for the fact that she would rather be in the chalet than on the slopes. so when she gets stuck on a ski lift and starts to hyperventilate, danny is the one to calm her down.

zhou guanyu

exile 🌩🌹

summary: after her boyfriend crashes at the british grand prix, nobody will tell y/n anything. ( she’s seen this film before, and she didn’t like the ending )

new year's eve (the christmas collection 2022) 🎄🌹🍑

summary: a sponsor event in the big apple, white wine on linen, a chinese stain removal method and a red silk qipao bring zhou and y/n together for a new year's adventure that teaches them important lessons about self-love, intimacy and the joy of living.

life in plastic, it’s fantastic (headcanons) 🐥

summary: zhou and y/n build their daughter a dollhouse, inspired by a very familiar garage.

this call is coming from inside the house (the cozy collection 2023)🍂🌹

the corn maze is her favourite fall tradition, and she's so excited to share it with her boyfriend for the first time. it's a shame that his wandering hands got them lost.

george russell

illicit affairs ( headcanons ) 🍑

summary: his girlfriend has had a long day, and george just wants her to relax for half an hour (bathtub sex with george)

ironic ( cozy collection 2022 ) 🍂💍🌹

summary: everything on their wedding day goes wrong, in all the right ways. inspired by verses from ‘ironic’ by alanis morrisette

christmas on the road (the christmas collection 2022) 🎄🌹🐥

summary: all george wants for christmas is to get home to his wife and his son. unbeknownst to him, his wife has a little surprise in the form of two pink lines that's about to make his christmas that much sweeter.

audiobooks (headcanons) 🌹

george records an audio version of his fiancée's favourite book so that she doesn't feel alone when he's out on a double header

the great christmas light fight (the christmas collection 2023) 🎄🍑

their newlywed christmas might not be all they hoped it would be when a new couple moves in across the street and threatens to steal george's title as 'king of christmas'

does he take care of you? 🍑🌹🌩

they had always been walking a fragile, tender line between friends and lovers. but that line should never have been crossed. (bonnington!reader) loosely inspired by the song sex by the 1975

esteban ocon

jetlag (headcanons)

estie bestie and y/n miss each other like hell. he’s just come back from a race weekend, and she’s gone to a hen week in another time zone

oscar piastri

insatiable (drabble) 🍑🌹

oscar is a tits man.

glad I crashed the wedding (cozy collection 2023) 🍂🍑🌹

summary: she needed a wedding date. he wanted a reason to spend time with her. but of course, the inn only has one bed, and oscar makes her feel alive in a way she's never felt before.

naughty list (the christmas collection 2023) 🎄🍑

oscar's bored, horny and hopelessly smitten with his lover. but if he keep this up, he's going to land them both on santa's naughty list this year.

nation of two

a camping trip in perth, and a set of missing sleeping bags brings together a pair of childhood friends in a way neither of them had quite anticipated

logan sargeant

954 🍑🌩

florida man fucks shy college girl.

9 to 5 (what a way to make a living)🌹

its y/n's first day of work at her new job, and logan is trying his best to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible.

former drivers

formula two masterlist

indycar masterlist

misc masterlist

#lovelytsunodas masterllist #formula one x reader #formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #ig aus #navigation

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sgiandubh · 8 months

Text

Dear 'Hi, darling' Anon

You are so polite and I am so sorry. But I am not going to publish your ask here. The question has been asked before, in many different ways, which tells me a lot about this fandom's - maybe understandable - impatience. The reason I will not answer it in here is simple: as tempted as I might be, I will not write the damn script.

I am an optimist and I believe these two are good people. It is as simple as that.

However, what I can and will do for you, is to tell you a real French story I will try to sum up as best as possible. You take out of it whatever you want. I am just the narrator, here.

I suppose you are not very familiar with this guy, are you?

His name was François Mitterrand, and from 1981 to 1995 he was the President of the French Republic. A cunning, even ruthless politician, he managed the feat of uniting a French Left in shambles and leading it back to power after more than twenty years on the opposition benches. He truly was the master of all combinations, with an almost diabolic sense of human nature and a cult for secrecy and privacy. So much so, that even in a country like France (where people are rather fond of gossip and backstage gaming, provided all of this is masterfully executed) he was nicknamed both 'The Florentine', in an expected parallel to Machiavelli, by politicos & pundits, and 'Tonton' (Uncle), by all the rest of the nation.

His only weakness was to have led a double life for 30 years.

A scion of a deeply Catholic bourgeois family of vinegar distillers from Jarnac, Mitterrand married the atheist and radical Danielle Gouze in 1944. They met in harsh times, while he was one of the chiefs of the French Résistance, after being an underling of Marshal Pétain's Nazi collaborating puppet regime, based in Vichy. They never divorced, even if the couple became increasingly estranged after the birth of three sons, in rapid succession. She found solace in the arms of a Corsican sports instructor and he, by now a rising star of French politics, went his merry way with probably hundreds of affairs. I bet you couldn't tell, by simply looking at his official portrait, but hey - never judge a book by its cover.

By the autumn of 1965, Mitterrand started his lifelong affair with Anne Pingeot, an Art History student at the fabulous Ecole du Louvre, hailing from a well-heeled family in Clermont-Ferrand. She met him in 1957, while vacationing with her parents in Hossegor, a posh summer resort on the Atlantic coast. Both families stroke up a polite holiday friendship, so when Anne went to study in Paris, Madame Pingeot naturally asked 'François' to keep an eye on her daughter. It took him two years to seduce her, with flowers, daily letters, books, midnight walks, art exhibitions, concerts, lies, stories, restaurants and drama - Frenchmen really, really are unparalleled at this cat and mouse game. They never broke up and if Mitterrand never was exclusively attached to her, she remained the love of his life until his very last day on Earth.

The only real crisis moment in this stars aligned story came in 1973, when Anne really wanted out of the whole charade. She wanted a younger partner, an easier plot and (of course) a child. He relented. Mazarine was born in December 1974, in the deepest possible secrecy, somewhere in Southern France (this is a well-known plot device in any good French Nineteenth century novel, by the way). Her father legally recognized her only in 1984, via a simple notary statement. From 1981 to 1995, the second family shared an apartment in a building reserved for the Elysée Palace top level public servants, on Quai Branly, in Paris. At the same time, Mitterrand kept his usual home on rue de Bièvre, steps away from Notre Dame cathedral, on the Left Bank and made sure he was regularly seen there by the press, the paparazzi and the odd passerby. Anne and Mazarine were always monitored by the President's security detail, of course.

Did people know? Many did and at least as many didn't have a clue. Mitterrand was a master at separating his social life into concentric zones, but even as such, lots of people in his intimate circle had no idea he was a new father to that little girl whose toys they sometimes saw in the trunk of his official car, or who happened to be around at political gatherings. They simply assumed the toys belonged to his grand-daughters, the fugitive appearance was a relative and in general, they knew better than asking questions. Sometimes, he joked in interviews, as in 1986, when he told, on a very relaxed tone, to French TV star journalist Yves Mourousi "a certain little miss of my acquaintance told me I have to be more chébran (slang for also slang branché - trendy) and as you see, I am doing my best". Nobody batted an eyelid. When Mazarine dutifully wrote on her first day at school, sometime around 1983, "President of the French Republic" under the Father's job entry on the yearly data sheet every pupil must fill in, the headmistress thought she was joking and never brought it up again. Some of her school friends were even invited for pajama parties at Souzy-la-Briche, at the time the week-end residence of the French President, and even met Mitterrand. Nobody ever spoke.

But some people did know and could not exactly remain silent. When Françoise Giroud, a legend of French journalism, published, in 1983, at the Mazarine publishing house (!), her roman à clef (novel with a key), Le bon plaisir (As He Saw Fit), heavily alluding to the Mitterrand situation, she was forced by her editor to write a very clear frontpage disclaimer. She also had to tinker a bit with details: it was a boy, not a girl, etc. But when venomous polemist Jean-Edern Hallier, disgruntled that his support efforts were left unrewarded, wrote a tell-all pamphlet L'Honneur perdu de François Mitterrand (François Mitterrand's Lost Honor), in 1984, the manuscript mysteriously vanished without a trace (the book appeared, however, after Mitterand's death, in 1996).

All was revealed in 1995, by a paparazzi photograph being published by the reliable people's magazine Paris Match, with no intervention of the French Presidency administration to stop it. On its cover, a by now terminally ill with cancer Mitterrand was seen standing with Mazarine in front of the (wonderful) fish restaurant Le Divellec, in Paris, under the caption (I will never forget it): La fille cachée du Président (The President's Hidden Daughter). Body language was very clear (another caption: The tender gesture of a father):

And the good people of France could finally see Anne and Mazarine mourning him, on January 11, 1996, after he let himself die upon finding out that the disease attacked his brain:

First row, near the official family.

As I said, draw your own conclusions, Anon. I am not implying anything and I do not think, by any means, this is a copycat scenario. Two fifi la plume (= scoundrel, but also naïve) B-listers are not a powerful French politician, with a decisive influence on the country's society, media and secret services. The UK or the US are not France, never will be. The Eighties had no Facebook, no Twitter, no Internet and no cell phones, able and willing to turn just about anybody into a paparazzo. Mitterrand's fandom, if you want, was the Socialist Party and its army of ambitious technocrats, not the considerable mess that is the OL circus.

What I am implying, is that no secret, no matter how deeply buried, stays forever in the shadows. Have a little more patience and, damn it, faith.

I rest my case.

PS: Anne Pingeot is a Taurus. Don't mind me. I am just babbling, as usually. ;)

#Anon

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transmutationisms · 10 months

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Your understanding of succession is very nuanced and I find reading your takes very enriching! All I wish is to have your literary analysis skills. If you could share where you started in understanding topics like psychoanalysis, bodily fluids as a symbol, using political lens to understand lit, or anything like that, that would be much appreciated! Sorry if this has been asked before, if you could direct me to that post I’d appreciate that

hi! i wouldn't consider myself any kind of expert in lit crit and i think it's something i continue to get better at just by doing more of it. so i'm not sure how helpful i can be here lol. but, some texts that have probably formed theoretical foundations for my reading of succession are:

history of shit, by dominique laporte, tr. rodolphe el-khoury

water and dreams: an essay on the imagination of matter, by gaston bachelard, tr. edith r. farrell

psychoanalysis of fire, by gaston bachelard, tr. alan c. m. ross

marx's 1844 manuscripts

anti-oedipus: capitalism and schizophrenia, by gilles deleuze & félix guattari, tr. robert hurley, mark seem, & helen r. lane

body fascism: salvation in the technology of physical fitness, by brian pronger

'malthus and the evolutionists', by robert m. young

the birth of biopolitics: lectures at the collège de france, 1978–79, by michel foucault, tr. graham burchell

discipline and punish: the birth of the prison, by michel foucault, tr. alan sheridan

faces of degeneration: a european disorder, 1848–1918, by daniel pick

capitalist realism, by mark fisher

three essays on the theory of sexuality, by sigmund freud, tr. james strachey

society of the spectacle, by guy debord, tr. donald nicholson-smith

le paris moderne: histoire des politiques d'hygiène, 1855–1898, by fabienne chevallier

we have never been modern, by bruno latour, tr. catherine porter

the arcades project, by walter benjamin, tr. howard eiland & kevin mclaughlin

french modern: norms and forms of the social environment, by paul rabinow

#book recs #i mean i guess. some of these i wouldn't necessarily recommend dkjskdjsk

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lifewillalwaysbe-lavieenrose · 17 days

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GUYS!! I saw Les Mis! In Munich!!!

Let's recap!

The Cast:

Daniel Gutmann as Javert. He was incredible. Definitely my personal highlight. Everytime he sang his voice just ROARED. And he was menacing holy shit. Aggggggh I'm normal about him

Barbara Obermeier as Eponine. When I first heard her sing in Act 1, I knew she was gonna kill it in Act 2. And she did.

Merlin Farcel aka Enjolras. His voice was so perfect I LOVED all the high notes, BUT:

The beard. Sorry, but in my world Enjolras doesn't have a beard. Plus, it makes him look like Peter Maffay

Madame Thenardier was PERFECT (I don't remember who played her that night😭) She was so funny and the audience really loved her.

The Music:

At first, I felt a bit underwhelmed by the orchestra. To be fair, I listened to the 10th anniversary recording SO much, that I really got used to that grand orchestra sound.

There was an electric guitar and at one point an electric bass when Javert sang, which I really loved.

During Master of the House/ Beggars at the Feast you could really see the orchestra bopping their heads and having fun and that made me very happy

I really loved the brass section, they really stood out (That French Hurn during On My Own????!)

The Costumes:

I don't know why, but the Les Amis were wearing these caps all the time. I have never seen a production with them in it. Is this a historically accurate thing?? I didn't really like them, they looked very plastic/shiny and fell out of place

I cannot find a picture but in the beginning of Act 1 Valjean wore a pink vest and then a purple coat which both looked very cheap and which I both didn't like (maybe it was because of the light? The colors felt very unnatural)

Eponine's outfit. At first I thought it didn't look shabby enough. But it looks so badass I'll let it pass

Why don't you let Enjolras wear his red vest??

What is Marius wearing? Goofy boy

Big Mad Hatter vibes from Thenardier. I loved his and the Patron Minettes outifits, they looked very edgy

This is perfect. Perfect. I only wished he had undone his hair for Javert's Suicide (he did, but only for the last 10 seconds)

The Stage:

The stage had a turning middle and stairs that could be moved around, similar like in Hamilton.

They did a cool transition with young Cosette walking up the stairs and old Cosette walking down

Also, they had some cool staging with buildings moving around for Stars. But I feel like there was almost a bit too much happening in the background for this song.

I don't know why they didn't have the Barricades turn and show Enjolras hang upside down. It's such a cool/tragic moment!

During the Barricade scenes, the stage sometimes felt a bit empty. I mean, there were always like 15 people standing around. Maybe the Barricades were to small/not high enough

Empty chairs at empty tables. Where were the empty chairs and empty tables??

In Everyday/A Heart Full of Love Reprise single leaves started falling down on the stage (Like Valjean entering the Fall/Winter of his life) I loved that.

Also, the parallel of Marius learning to walk again using a cane, and Valjean loosing his ability to walk using a cane. I never noticed this before!

There are SO many cool things about the staging I could talk about here. But I want to mention some other topics as well:

The "Spirit" of the Show:

There wasn't a single French flag to be seen. Some red ones, but no French flags.

In the trailer, the director said he wanted to create a more universal setting, speaking to everyone in the audience

I think that's a great sentiment but like. Everyone has French names. There were titles above the stage telling us the year and locations (Places in France) of the events. The title of the show is French.

So I think adding the flags (aka a bit more French nationalism?) would have seemed a lot more convincing for the cause of the students and the whole spirit of the show

But maybe this also has to do with the show being in German? I don't know and I'd really like to discuss it. Maybe someone here made a similar experience seeing it in another language

And last, but MOST importantly:

What about Valvert and Enjoltaire?

In the Confrontation, Javert and Valjean got really close to each other. And I mean fighting each other and then stopping just to sing directly into each other's faces.

Instead of running infront of the court in Who Am I, Valjean just goes to Javert and rips his shirt open? Okay, go off I guess

In Drink with Me, we have a platonic forehead touch between Enjolras and Grantaire. Sadly, that's all I noticed between them 😔

Also, the fact that Grantaire is supposed to be ugly/shabby/a drinker/a sceptic got totally lost, which really takes away from his character.

Conclusion:

All the actors were good, some of them were FANTASTIC. I'd watch it again just for the guy playing Javert, if I could. God, he was SO GOOD

The music was all it should be, maybe a bit too reserved (but again, this might be because I am so used to the 10th anniversary concert)

I really loved some costumes and I also really disliked some

The staging was great, some choices confused me (flags, barricades etc.)

Would I watch it again?

Absolutely!

To be clear, some of the things here might sound more negative than I actually mean. It's just that I have watched SO many different productions online, that I fixated on all the great performances and how I think they should be done. Of course everyone has different opinions here.

Okay thanks for reading if you made it here. Have a great day!

#les mis #les misérables #les mis munich #münchen #valvert #enjoltaire

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alexbkrieger13 · 2 months

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Full artcle

I couldn't hold back my tears.

I don't know if it's age, but I seem to get more emotional in these situations.

It's difficult to put into words what I felt when I jumped onto the ice at the Verdun Auditorium on January 13 for our team's home opener.

The crowd was incredible, but it was more than just the ovation that put me in this state. This emotion represented years of effort. I dreamed of this moment for a long time and, finally, we were there.

When I saw great women like Caroline Ouellette, France St-Louis, Kim St-Pierre and Danielle Goyette arrive on the ice, I got chills. I was so happy that people recognized them and gave them the ovation they deserve. Without them, I would not have had the same career.

I'll be honest. At one point, I feared this moment would never come. It took longer than expected. Yes, there were these showcases , weekends where matches were organized in different cities, but it had nothing to do with a real professional league.

JI remember the first time I came to see the installations in Verdun with Danièle Sauvageau. There was almost nothing done. We had our work boots and construction helmets. She had a vision which she explained to me in detail. But I really had a hard time imagining it.

Marie-Philip Poulin greets the crowd after a Montreal team match.

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

Our fans are the best. Friends who play on other teams told me that. It's not a crowd like any other in Montreal. She is noisy. She is invested. It's important to me to give back to people who are on the move. I am now more comfortable in this role. It’s the experience that comes in, you have to believe.

Before a live interview on Radio-Canada during an intermission at the Verdun Auditorium, a boy called me to offer me a treat. He threw one at me and I caught it in midair with my mouth. I started my interview anyway, with a smile on my face and my mouth full. It's part of my identity, my personality. Interaction with young people is really important to me.

The enthusiasm for our league is very real. I feel it. I hear it too. In Ottawa, I got booed when I went for a penalty shot. Being booed at home, in Canada, I admit that it's a first! It's weird, but it doesn't bother me. After all, that's what we wanted: a competitive league, rivalries and fans who identify with their city.

After a game in Minnesota, we went for a beer. Fathers came to see us to tell us how excited they were to see professional women's hockey. I saw how happy they were for us. It was in Minnesota, we are the team from Montreal and, despite everything, we attract attention.

This anecdote made me realize how our situation has nothing to do with what we experienced in the past. The enthusiasm is there and I have the impression that it is not just the effect of novelty. It will last and it's truly magical.

OHe talks to me a lot about this match last January 20, against Toronto . In fact, I'm mostly told about this goal scored with 17 seconds left in the third period and that we lost by one goal. Honestly, I don't know what happened. I had a blackout . It's rare that I take the puck and try to get to the goal on my own. I saw an opening. It was not premeditated. I was the first surprise when I scored.

Then, I was sent to shootouts four times by my coach. I obviously wasn't ready for that. It took me a little by surprise. It's not my favorite rule, but I'll get used to it.

I was burned out after that match. It's a lot of adaptation. LPHF games, Canada-US Rivalry Series, travel. We're not used to having such a big workload. You have to prepare well, but also make sure you recover well. That's the beauty of this league. It allows me to continue to surpass myself, to learn new things.

Marie-Philip Poulin

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

I like hockey. I love that. And what I prefer is when the score is close. I like it when you have to give a little more, when you have to empty the tank. When it really counts, that's when I'm at my best. It turns me on.

My parents always told me: You practice like you play. It always stuck in my mind. I don't take anything for granted. I am aware of the pressure, but I have learned to manage it over the years. I don't forget that it's a team sport. I'm lucky to have been able to achieve some of these great moments, but I know I'm not alone in this.

I won Olympic medals, but I also lost world championships. I even wondered if I was capable of winning one. The 2018 Olympics were arguably the most difficult time of my career. I was practically hiding. I didn't want to see anyone. I thought I had disappointed the whole world by failing to bring home the gold medal.

I also learned not to read everything, to leave certain comments aside. Hockey is such a difficult sport. You can do the same thing every game, but the rebound won't go your way, it won't work or the opposing goalie will be on fire. I keep in mind that if you give your maximum in every match, it will happen.

People expect me to score goals, but that's not all I am. I take a lot of pride in blocking shots, in raising sticks in defensive withdrawal. I can still improve my defensive game. To win championships, you have to count, but the little details in the defensive zone will make the difference.

Marie-Philip Poulin and Laura Stacey celebrate a goal together on January 2, against Ottawa

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

Even though she has been on the national team for a long time and is one of the best players in the world, Laura Stacey is less known to Quebec fans. Why her, they then asked themselves?

I knew full well that Danièle Sauvageau had not chosen her because she is my fiancée. Laura, she's an incredible player. A real power forward who has remarkable discipline.

She chose to move to another province. She is learning the language and doesn't hesitate to try to do bits of interviews in French. It's not easy, but she embraces her new reality.

I'm proud of her. I am proud to see her doing promotions for the media in French. I'm proud that people are discovering her personality, the player she is and that Montrealers are falling in love with her because she really deserves it.

OI often ask myself why I continue.

I don't have to play hockey. I do it because I love it. I feel the best on the ice.

I have the Olympic gold medals, the World Championship gold medals. Now I want to win an LPHF title in Montreal, at home.

Having a positive impact on the next generation has become my priority. To see the little girls in the stands, with stars in their eyes, it's worth more than championships, it's worth more than medals.

Eventually, I want to start a family. It would be in my next projects. We love kids, so this is really important to us.

For the moment, it's still hockey first and foremost.

Marie-Philip Poulin has fun during off-ice training

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERONStart of widget. Skip widget?

Comments collected by Christine Roger

Header photo by LPHF Montréal/Arianne Bergeron

#this is so sweet #marie philip poulin #laura stacey #pwhl #pwhl montreal #woho #womens hockey #hockey #hockey article

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desertfangs · 3 months

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Hot Pink - Day 1

🪦 Grave Decisions

Armand/Daniel - Post-Canon - 3,031 words

Daniel is off by himself dealing with a personal matter when Armand finds him to make sure he's okay (and doesn't do anything stupid).

Written for @valenfangs for the prompt "Hot Pink," this went in a very different direction than I originally planned. But that's the fun of writing to prompts for me - sometimes things go places you don't expect. I do have more traditional V-Day content coming up in the next couple of weeks.

Short Excerpt:

Daniel sat in the bar, trying to do the crossword on his iPad, except the application kept changing the boxes when he typed and he ended up putting the answers in the wrong place. The whole process was frustrating and not helping to take his mind off things. He missed newsprint and pencils.

“Are you Daniel?”

He looked up from his iPad. A waitress was standing over his table holding a tray with a hot pink drink on top of it.

“I am,” Daniel said.

The waitress beamed. “Then this is for you.” She set down a cocktail napkin and then put the drink on top of it.

Daniel instinctively looked around the bar but he didn’t see any familiar faces. Certainly not a shock of auburn hair that belonged to the most likely culprit. He didn’t dare get his hopes up. Armand was busy at Court. And a scan of the room told him there were no immortals in the bar.

“Who is this from?” Daniel asked, annoyed. He wasn’t in the mood for these kinds of games. If someone was trying to cheer him up, they were going about it all wrong.

The waitress shrugged, clearly miffed at his attitude. “No idea. Someone called in the order. Enjoy.”

Daniel stared at the drink. It was the week’s drink special, advertised on the chalkboard at the front. Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, so the cocktail was hot pink in color, with a pink curly straw, and a row of bright red cherries stuck on the stick of a small pink cocktail umbrella, served in a hurricane glass. It smelled of grenadine, vodka, and sugar. Daniel could practically taste its nauseating sugary sweetness. He would have hardly touched that kind of drink when he’d been mortal— hello, hangover —but even now, the smell made him feel mildly ill.

He did another mental sweep of the bar, but there was no sign of an immortal presence. So who’d sent over this abomination of a drink? Someone had to know where he was to call in the order.

He tapped his fingers on the table, waiting to see if the person might reveal themselves but no one did. Daniel made sure there wasn’t some kind of note on the glass or anything special about the contents of the drink.

And then, irritation building, Daniel stood. He left the bar and scanned the street out front. He was in a suburb of San Francisco, a town that was little more than housing developments. Its small downtown area had a few restaurants and bars but everything closed by midnight. At 11 pm, the streets were quiet.

He lit a cigarette and pulled out his phone. No messages. He did the time zone math. It was afternoon in France, so no one there was going to answer him now.

He took a drag on his cigarette and something in his awareness prickled. The presence of another immortal.

Read the Rest on AO3

#daniel molloy #armand #armand/daniel #devil's minion #the devil's minion #vc fanfic #vc #vc fic #valenfangs #valenfangs 2024 #vampire chronicles #the vampire chronicles #my fic #tvc #daniel/armand #armand x daniel #armandaniel #devils minion #armandiel

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fatehbaz · 11 months

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And the penal colony was to remain a viable alternative to the penitentiary, not only in nineteenth-century Britain, but also in twentieth-century France [...]. But what might it mean to have a rigorous and distant form of imprisonment, located in a colony and continuing until the mid–twentieth century? [...]

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French Guiana emerged as an early favorite for the placement of a French penal colony. [...] Daniel Lescallier, [...] authored a work entitled [...] (Exposition of the means by which to develop French Guiana). In it he points to the example the British have set in exporting offenders to the colonies [...]. Louis-Napoleon, still serving in the capacity of president of the republic, threw his weight behind [...] the exile of criminals as well as political dissidents. “It seems possible to me,” he declared near the end of 1850, “to render the punishment of hard labor more efficient, more moralizing, less expensive [...], by using it to advance French colonization.” [...] The era of the French penal colony was now open; the new French Empire had begun its Botany Bay, even as the British original [penal colony in Australia] wound to a close. [...] The double logic of the British system also drives the French imagination; proposals alternatively concentrate on a desire to punish criminals and rid the Metropole of their presence, on the one hand, and a hope of furthering the work of colonial expansion and economic progress, on the other. Within this logic the focus shifts between the need to colonize, the need to punish [...].

In the case of France, it shimmers with colonial fantasy, allowing future Australias to emerge on tropical horizons. [...] [T]he penal colony requires location. The specificity of the site matters; it is the very place that is to enact punishment [...]. The penal colony is in essence a geographic technique [...]. But despite frequent outcries and sensational reports, the French Guiana penal establishment continued to exist through the end of World War II. [...] As geography itself becomes a technique of isolation, the French penal experiment in Guiana threatens further ordeals implicit in separation from all that is civilized. [...] In sensational accounts these tropics incessantly punish [...]: “Fever and dysentery get every man! Clouds of buzzing mosquitoes and fire ants sting your aching body while you labor [...].” As the commandant of the bagne would inform convicts on their arrival, “The real guards here are the jungle and the sea.” [...] Many of the prisoners, after all, were from urban environments [...]. The terror of Devil's Island takes shape amid metaphoric invocations of the jungle and of the savage [...].

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For those in Metropolitan France the penal colony served as a hidden punishment, a distant if graphic terror, retaining elements of torture out of public view. Yet it retained a veneer of reformation, for the convicts were still told to “make a new life for themselves.” In addition, shipping convicts away from France in the name of colonization cloaked their punishment in the robes of the “civilizing” mission: they would be part of an effort to build a greater France, to develop Guiana, and to integrate it into a Franco-world system. At the same time the bagne underscored that resistance to the humane norms of France could lead to decivilization and exile in the wilderness. [...]

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For those sent to French Guiana, however, the penal colony served directly as a public display, a constant reminder of the operations of justice. The convicts were not merely confined but forced to labor on public works. Official executions were performed by that once-humane instrument, the guillotine, but before an audience of convicts and by a fellow convict, far beyond the gates of Paris. A slower execution, that of the “dry guillotine,” the effects of the tropical climate, surrounded the entire process of deportation, reminding the convicts that this punishment could only happen here and not within Metropolitan boundaries. Theirs was a raw and primitive environment, one of torture and deprivation away from the public eye. Against the truth invoked in their conviction -- justice -- lay a suggested truth invoked in their punishment: no longer civilized, they were no longer human.

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And for those already living in French Guiana, the penal colony also served as a public spectacle, if one not aimed directly at them or of their making. Not only did the proximity of prison life to their own lives parade the power of justice before them in an immediate fashion, but the constant importation of prisoners for this apparatus of punishment emphasized the particularly colonial nature of this power. Uncivilized elements were sent to them; their relation to France was that of a repository for human waste, and acts and punishments deemed unseemly for the homeland could still occur within their boundaries.

In addition, the appropriation of the names “Guyane” and “Cayenne” in myths of the bagne and “Devil's Island” precluded other identities, while burdening the area with a symbolic brand and a historical chain to France. “The bagne,” writes Ian Hammel, “left only a disastrous brand on Guiana.”

Brand here means “trademark” as well as “scar,” indicating purpose, function, and maker.

To be remembered as a penal colony is to be remembered not only as a prison, an exotic place of horror, but also as a colony, the object and product of another. [...] Modernizing France, a convulsive patchwork of provinces, cities, farms, and factories, casts its shadow overseas. [...] The penal colony takes shape at a crucial moment in European colonial understandings of place and labor. Slavery had just been abolished in the French Empire […]. If slavery were at an end, then the crucial question facing the colony was that of finding an alternative source of labor [...], not only in French Guiana, but also throughout colonies built on the plantation model.

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All text above by: Peter Redfield. Space in the Tropics: From Convicts to Rockets in French Guiana. 2000. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Presented here for commentary, teaching, criticism purposes.]

#abolition #ecology #forests #imperial #caribbean #colonial #landscape #haunted #futures #modernity

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1863-project · 8 months

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Okay, was thinking about it and I remembered a lot of you were very young or not even alive for this, so:

When 9/11 happened I was 12 and had just started 7th grade. I grew up in a suburb of New York City. 12 people from my town died, including a firefighter whose son was in my younger brother's CCD group.

Things changed SO fast. Practically overnight. Suddenly, we were all hypervigilant, and after the immediate response of assistance from around the world, the prejudice was oozing from nearly everywhere. In northern New Jersey, we had and still have a large west (Middle East) and south Asian population. They were hit the hardest.

People freaked out just because a mosque was going to be built in lower Manhattan within several blocks of Ground Zero at one point. It was ridiculous and the Islamophobia was so fucking awful and infuriating. It still is. It didn't go away. For the most part, New Yorkers are usually good to each other because there's literally someone from everywhere here, but this was legitimately terrifying. People would even attack Sikhs - who weren't Muslim, Sikhism is its own thing - because they saw the turbans and made a decision based on racism (i.e. bin Laden had a turban so these people must be like him).

The "patriotism" was miserable. "Freedom fries" happened because people were mad that France didn't want to go into Iraq with Bush in 2003. We all thought it was stupid then too.

The Chicks (formerly known as the Dixie Chicks) got blackballed because they came out against said war. They were one of the biggest country acts in the world at the time. In general, country music went through a massive tonal shift post-9/11 and became far more "patriotic" and conservative. Johnny Cash wouldn't have recognized it.

The Flash movies that inevitably popped up satirizing politics were...something. You can find most of them archived on YouTube these days. But that was how the internet tended to cope back then.

The shift from happiness to paranoia was so fucking fast. I went from a world where my biggest concern was pre-ordering the GameCube to being worried about politics and death all the time. All the news showed was footage of people dying for weeks. Politicians started using the footage in commercials. You just had to keep reliving the trauma of it over and over again. I stopped watching the news.

It was, looking back on it, a huge galvanizing point for the American right. Politicians started using 9/11 to justify so many things. This was where I began to see as a young teenager that you could use people's prejudices to get a grip on power and get what you wanted. I didn't like it.

People started drawing memorial art almost immediately. The phenomenon of memorial art being done decades later with cartoon characters still persists on deviantART to this day, but when it started, it was mostly people doing vent art because it's really upsetting to be a kid and see death on that scale on the news.

It took me 15 years to go back to the site after 9/11. I'd been as a kid in 1997 and I went up in the South Tower with my family. I didn't set foot there again until 2016, 15 years after the attacks. I found the name of the firefighter whose son was in my brother's CCD class. It was surreal.

This chapter of American history arguably closed for many people in 2011, when bin Laden was killed in a raid. I remember watching the Mets play the Phillies that night. Daniel Murphy, who I'd named a cat after two years earlier, was at bat, and suddenly the crowd started chanting "USA." I used my Blackberry to check the news and that was how I found out. I was a senior in college, about to graduate. I don't even remember how I felt, just that the way I found out was so fucking weird.

It was a really stressful, bizarre climate to grow up in. In the time between my 12th and my 22nd birthday, I saw my entire world get turned upside down overnight, massive waves of prejudice, unnecessary wars that killed even more innocent people, literal war crimes (tw: rape, murder, prisoner torture, every other bad thing you can think of under the sun), and the rise of false patriotism and nationalism, which you can still see the right wing harnessing today.

If you're going to mock something here, mock the false patriotism. Mock "Freedom Fries." Mock George W. Bush. Just...don't mock the actual moments where people died. Too many innocent people died from the attacks themselves, the Islamophobia afterwards, and the wars that followed. That shit isn't funny.

#history

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