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#voices will still be involved

apparitionism · 2 years

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Appreciation 5

This one is very rough, and it doesn’t hit any beats quite right, but I’m pushing it out anyway. “Apples/Warehouse shenanigans” is the prompt, and what came to me in response was a version of the conversation that’s the primary component here (hence the title, sort of), which I’ve shoehorned into a semi-frame... ideally it would have become an actual story, but time zips along, and the story-pieces didn’t. (I should note that this little thing takes place in a world where season 4 never happened except for the Warehouse came back; after that, so did Helena.)

The appreciation proceeds, in any case, and earlier came four days’ worth of same: “Architecture,” “Bridge,” “Worry,” and “House.”

Voice

Steven Connor, Dumbstruck: A Cultural History of Ventriloquism. New York: Oxford UP, 2000.

[M]y voice is not something that I merely have, or even something that I, if only in part, am. Rather, it is something that I do. A voice is not a condition, nor yet an attribute, but an event.... [T]he voice always requires and requisitions space, the distance that allows my voice to go from and return to myself.... My voice can be a glove, or a wall, or a bruise, a patch of inflammation, a scar, or a wound.

****

Myka enjoys spending time in the Warehouse office. She likes it when she’s alone, naturally, and she’s perfectly fine with Pete, as long as he isn’t acting out; with Steve; and even with Artie, though in that case she’s always on alert, trying to perform as perfectly as she can.

She enjoys being there with Helena, of course, and in that case, too, she’s always on alert, trying to perform as perfectly as she can... but what she’s attempting to enact is less clear. It isn’t “Warehouse agent,” because she knows she accomplishes far less, work-wise, when Helena is present. For a while she’d tried to pretend otherwise, but holding the falsehood in her head made her feel like a fraud. And given their history, Myka doesn’t want anything fraudulent to intrude on their deepening accord.

But as much as Myka enjoys any time she spends with Helena, she has discovered that spending time in the Warehouse office space with Claudia is differently, maybe even commensurately, enjoyable, for it is also something very like therapeutic. This is because Claudia—when she is genuinely engaged in a project—talks. Her voice hums incessantly as she talks and talks and talks: to herself; to various screens; to deities, oracles, and ghosts; even to Mrs. Frederic, whom Myka usually presumes is absent and yet of course might not be... then again, she might be one of the those deities, oracles, and/or ghosts, based on Claudia’s mutterings.

In any case, the vocal chaos paradoxically soothes Myka. She knows she’s not being invited to participate in the conversation—or the “conversation”—so she’s free to absorb or ignore as she pleases. It’s how she imagines people who like a television on in an empty house probably feel about that sound: it’s there, it gives the space a sounded shape, but it creates no obligation.

Today, she and Claudia are working, companionably, with Myka silent and Claudia not, when a sharp question from the doorway upsets their yin-yang balance: “What are you doing?” asks Helena.

“I’m—” Myka starts, but the question was clearly for Claudia; Helen has marched to stand beside her, and she is looking down judgmentally at what Claudia is holding in her non-mouse hand.

Claudia looks up at Helena, looks down, then up again. “Eating an apple,” she says. She takes a bite and crunches away at it.

A defiant move, given the expression on Helena’s face, and Helena certainly seems to have read it that way: “Here?” she demands.

“You’re watching me do it, so I’m pretty sure you know the answer to that question.”

Again, defiant (or at least careless), but Helena calms, if only infinitesimally. “Isn’t that... unseemly?”

“It seems like I’m eating an apple, so I think it’s at least seemish. But I don’t really know what your Victorian-offended words mean, so maybe?”

Helena crosses her arms and nods severely at the apple. “Doesn’t it seem a bit... cannibalistic?”

“No? Because I’m not an apple?” Claudia’s tentative now, perplexed, and Myka can’t blame her.

“Given the architecture that surrounds us,” Helena says, freeing her arms to perform an all-encompassing swirl.

“Did you get hit in the head?” Claudia asks. “Maybe with an apple? No, wait, that’s Newton. No doubt you did a lot, but you didn’t discover gravity.”

“Entirely apocryphal, that. And he didn’t discover anything. How could one ‘discover’ a fundamental force that acts at all times upon every body on the planet? At any rate you needn’t worry about my head. What about yours?”

“I’m fine. Or I was until you called me a cannibal.”

“I called you no such thing, but in any case, I was making reference to the known affinity of this facility.”

Claudia squints at the fruit in her hand. “This place isn’t made of apples. And even if it is, I’m not made of Warehouse. Am I?”

“As Caretaker-in-training?” Helena asks, a muse of a question.

“Did Mrs. F swear off apples?” Claudia counters.

“I have no idea.”

“So you’re saying that if she didn’t, she’s a cannibal?”

“That is not in fact what I am saying. Did you not hear me utter the words ‘a bit’?”

“‘A bit?’ Isn’t that what British people say when they mean ‘you’re bathing in the thing’?”

“A bit and a bath being entirely dissimilar, I—”

“Here’s what I’m doing: never eating an apple again. Happy now?”

Helena smiles. Serenely. “Of course not,” she says.

It’s such a completely Helena response that Myka, who’s been trying to stay out of whatever this is, inadvertently contributes a small “hmph” of laughter. Helena gives her a look, one that doesn’t quite contain a wink. But it could have.

“Is there any pleasing you at all?” Claudia demands, and is that another look Myka receives from Helena? She resolves to ponder it later, as Claudia says, “What is it now?”

Helena, still serene, says, “The adage about the doctor.”

Claudia snorts, then offers Helena a big-eyed, sentimental blink. “But I love Dr. Calder. Don’t you?”

Helena bows her head—a “well played” nod of concession. “Of course. But I believe ‘the doctor’ is in this case a synecdoche for the medical profession.”

“Synecdoche, schmenecdoche. Which it turns out is hard to say... anyway, it’s the doctor. That’s what that daily apple keeps away,” Claudia says. “Queen Myka of Literalism, back me up on this.” Myka scrambles in her head for a way to resolve a synecdoche-versus-literalism battle to everybody’s satisfaction—scrambles also to resettle herself after Helena graces her with an “I know I’d win” lift of lip—but she’s saved by Claudia pushing on with, “And Dr. Calder’s the doctor as far as I’m concerned.”

“Consider a compromise,” Helena says. “For health purposes, you might eat an apple every other day. Ideally in some other location.”

“Location, location, location. But what if one of those other days is when Dr. Calder’s supposed to be there?”

Helena offers a little frown. Is she getting rankled at Claudia continuing the joke? “Perhaps adages aren’t edicts, darling.” The little condescension of “darling” suggests maybe so. “That is, perhaps they don’t behave as artifacts do, compelling a particular outcome.”

“Here’s another one: perhaps Warehouses aren’t made of apples, compelling you to call me a cannibal.” She looks down at her snack. “I don’t even like apples all that much, so no loss. Myka gave this one to me. Cannibalism-enabler,” she accuses, and she tosses her semi-eaten apple at Myka.

Myka wishes her reflexes weren’t so good: now her hands are sticky, their damp tackiness taking up space in her head even as Helena turns to her, apparently ready to spar. “I really don’t think you want to pursue this,” Myka tells her.

“Or perhaps I do,” Helena says, with a dangerous glint in her eye.

Claudia seems to have glimpsed the glint and determined that whatever danger it portended outweighed any benefit to watching what might play out. Backing away—as if letting Helena out of her sight would be dangerous in itself—she says, “If an apple was enough to set her off, Myka, you’re on your own.”

Helena watches her go. Then she says to Myka, with no glint and no hint of combativeness, “You seem less than pleased to have that in your hands.”

“It’s kind of mangled,” Myka says. “She doesn’t eat apples very precisely.”

“Are cannibals known for their precision?”

“I have to side with her on this one: I don’t think she and the Warehouse are made of apples.”

Helena smiles. “In all honesty, neither do I. But twitting Claudia is.... I’m sorry, but it’s entertaining.” She’s not wrong, but Myka can’t help frowning a little. “Don’t worry,” Helena says, “that isn’t my primary purpose. Ideally, I’d like to make her think.”

“About the Warehouse?”

“About who she is in relation to the Warehouse. Is, and is becoming.”

Myka finds Helena’s investment in Claudia sweet, but truth be told, a little overwhelming—and if it seems that way to her, Claudia surely finds it several orders of magnitude more so. But maybe the fact that they’re kindred genius spirits creates an easier bridge that Myka can’t sense? “Helping her with that becoming... it seems like a pretty noble goal.”

“Haven’t we established my lack of nobility?” Helena asks, and her increasing ability to speak lightly of that terrible, terrible time is yet another reminder that things are—and are becoming—different now. “There’s a bit of self-interest as well. Or rather, interest that is selfish, with regard to her future. Given that I myself was intended to be Caretaker. Until.”

This revelation levels Myka, who struggles to keep her reaction from showing. You should have known. Helena’s connection to the Warehouse has always seemed so strong... Myka has attributed it to her having simply been there for so long, even as she hated her imprisonment. In inadequate response, she begins, “I think that would have been...” An infinity of ways to finish that sentence, but the first one that comes to mind is “perfect.” But that seems a damaging thing to say, so she starts again, with “I’m glad you...” Now she wants to say “told me,” but that sounds selfish. She settles for a question: “Have you told Claudia?”

That seems to startle Helena. “Heavens no. She has no need to think about that sort of might-have-been.”

“I’m sorry you have to,” Myka says.

“Well. At this moment, I prefer the situation as it stands.” She tilts her head down at Myka. “Or sits.”

A low-grade giddiness that’s been swirling in Myka’s head since Helena invaded the office begins to ramp up its intensity. Years ago, she’d felt a quivery exhilaration begin to overtake her every time she was in Helena’s presence, every time she witnessed Helena being, whether with Myka alone or in any combination with others. She’d resisted it, then, as much as she could, but now there’s no need to fight it. If it’s a threat, it’s to Myka alone.

Helena chooses that moment to turn decidedly unthreatening: she reaches out and briskly plucks the apple from Myka’s grasp. It’s a considerate gesture, one clearly intended to save Myka the trouble of dealing with the mess; she should probably say a generic “Thanks, I appreciate it” in response.

But she can’t. All she can think is that now Helena’s hands are sticky too, that if she raised her own hands and caught Helena’s, now, they would join and hold, sugar-stuck, juice-wet.

She stays still. It’s not time yet. Not yet. (Yet. Yet. Yet.) But every new detail Helena shares is an intimacy, a small weight added to what Myka knows, added to what she wants, tilting the scale an imperceptible bit more toward resolution. Every new detail, that is, helps the resolution resolve...

“Unless you wanted a bite?”

Myka’s eyes rise from the hand that’s now extending the apple toward her to find a lifted eyebrow. A challenge?

Helena lowers the eyebrow and smiles, releasing the tension.

Not quite yet.

END

Note:

I was also thinking about the idea/problem of if somebody’s eating an apple in the Warehouse, they probably can’t smell any apples other than the one they’re eating, and that might offend the building—it might think the eater’s trying to appropriate its approval thunder. Or maybe it would get into a perfume competition with the actual apple, thinking that that apple was being the thunder-stealer, expressing its liking for the person... I was also wondering about varieties: like, does the building personalize the apple smells depending on which one(s) the person it likes tends to favor? Or it just Granny Smiths all the way down? What I’m really asking, I guess, is some variations on “how does the Warehouse deploy its weirdo aromatic ‘voice’?”

#bering and wells #Warehouse 13 #fanfic #Appreciation #Voice #I know this one's a little off the rails #I'll try to get back on a better horse tomorrow #but that might be even worse!#voices will still be involved #which can hardly be surprise at this point in history #beringandwellsappreciationweek #day 5

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crimeronan · 2 months

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writing princess AU eda's relationship with luz is becoming increasingly hilarious. she's so convinced that hunter is A Problem (TM) for luz, with absolutely ZERO EVIDENCE. eda like "do you want me to kill that guy for you?? because it sounds like he sucks and i will totally kill that guy for you" while luz is like "....i have.... literally never said anything negative about him.......?"

eda talking to raine like "damn it seems like the golden guard sucks. do you want to kill that guy" and raine like "eda. i cannot express enough to you that that is Also a baby,"

#much 2 consider.#the reason i havent finished the fic yet is bc im still figuring out the exact shape of the last chapter. but. much 2 consider.#there's a good chance it'll involve hunter and luz having a fight & then luz accidentally crying about it in the owl house #to which eda is like. you REALLY aren't going to let me have hooty eat him????????#hunter voice: i literally only want whatever is best for luz #eda voice: yeah okay belos dad 2.0. pound sand #toh #princess luz au #eda clawthorne #horrible mindscape trauma pals

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iamamythologicalcreature · 9 months

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Six Sentence Sunday! The sequel!

So... Yes. I am still working on this little (I hope it's little) "What if Baz succeeded in stealing Simon's voice in 5th year?" fanfic of mine. Because. Um. I like the potential for angst? So much angst. Also other feelings. But for the purposes of today's little snippet: ANGST.

Since I missed last week (and might miss next week if I can't manage to write something new between now and then), you get 12 lines instead of 6! Also because the snippet wouldn't have worked so well cut in half.

You already know the premise of my fic, so this shouldn't come as too much of a shock: Baz did a bad thing, and he remembers it too well.

He didn’t start our would-be confrontation with any of his usual questions or accusations. He started with my name. "Baz—" That single utterance morphed into the most terrible sound I’d ever heard. Would ever hear. Snow choked on it, because it wouldn’t stop. It twisted and writhed in the air after clawing its way out of him. It became an unrecognizable, fading wail. Only I knew. I never stopped hearing my name. My name on Snow’s lips took forever to die. And as awful as that slow death had been, the silence that followed was a thousand times worse.

(Yeah. Canon divergence begins here. I did say I'm here for maximum angst XD)

Side note: Looking for brainstorming/writing buddies so I don't overwhelm the ones I already have. Ahem. If this story idea intrigues you and you'd like to let me babble at you a lot (I am happy to accept return babble if you also have a WIP), let me know. It's the only way I get anything done, apparently.

Bonus picture of my pile of notecards, mostly to prove I'm doing something, under the cut, along with tags!

(I am posting this at 7-ish am, then going to bed, so if you've posted already all you lovelies in other time zones, consider this a friendly wave hello! Will read stuff tonight!)

@nightimedreamersworld @cutestkilla @hushed-chorus @alleycat0306 @artsyunderstudy @aristocratic-otter @prettygoododds @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @supercutedinosaurs @martsonmars @fatalfangirl @thewholelemon @raenestee @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ic3-que3n @facewithoutheart @rimeswithpurple @erzbethluna @ebbpettier @ionlydrinkhotwater @whogaveyoupermission @theearlgreymage @philaet0s @scone-lover @youarenevertooold @whatevertheweather @brilla-brilla-estrellita

(Want tags? Don't want tags? LMK!)

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good-beanswrites · 1 month

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Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.

Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!

Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...

I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm

Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.

Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.

“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.

She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store.

Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore.

“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.

It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”

She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath.

Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.

She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.

Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her.

So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death.

“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno.

“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying.

At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”

Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.

“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”

The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.

But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.

Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well?

At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe.

“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #amane and fuuta mentioned #i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂#oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk #i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that #anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0 #drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result #i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together #the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices #im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd #i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything --#i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared #but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off #not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky #i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person...#i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon #and *shes* the odd one out for craving company #then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else #i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...?#AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃#*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit*#drabbles

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likeabxrdinflight · 3 months

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so I have seen the new trailer for the live action ATLA adaptation and I think I'm actually feeling more optimistic about it. Generally when an animated product is adapted to live action, I want to see something new in the production and storytelling that justifies why this story benefits from being re-created in a live action format, while still maintaining the overall heart and spirit of the animated original. Most of the disney live action remakes, for example, have failed to meet this bar.

Where I'm feeling a little more optimistic with the ATLA remake is because the format almost necessitates some pretty significant structural changes to the story. You can't take something like season one of ATLA, which was incredibly episodic and designed for Nickelodeon syndication in 30 minute blocks, and stitch it into eight hour-long episodes on a serialized, binge-watching style platform like Netflix without making changes. You just can't.

What I'm hoping they do with these changes is that instead of trying to frankenstein the story together, they pick and choose which elements matter and which do not. And then I want to see the storylines they keep get greater focus and more elevation than they received in the original. One of the benefits of a remake is that you already have the finished project to build off- you know what matters, you know what doesn't, and you can work with that to craft a tighter story while giving appropriate expansion and depth to elements of it that might have been overlooked in the original. The way Suki and the Kyoshi warriors have been billed and marketed gives me a lot of hope for this- when Bryke were first creating ATLA, they had no plans for Suki to be anything more than a one-off character, but she ended up Sokka's endgame love interest. The new show has the benefit of already knowing this.

Same thing applies to characters like Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee. We already know where their storylines end up, so they have the opportunity to expand and deepen all three of them without worrying about making things up as they go or maintaining any sense of mystery. And they have a lot of opportunity to play with Ozai's character too, given they don't have to keep him in the shadows for two whole seasons anymore- we already know he's a hot older version of Zuko, that reveal happened in 2007. Since they don't need to hide his face, they can actually show a lot more of him a lot earlier in the story. Again, I'm hopeful for this given that the trailers seem to be showing a lot of extra scenes with the Fire Nation characters and Azula and Ozai are both featured on the promotional poster.

Now, will I like the changes they make? That's an unknown. I might. I might hate them. We'll see- but at least it seems like there will be changes that, hopefully, will serve to justify why this remake deserves to exist. I do not want to see a shot-for-shot recreation of the animated series. I can already watch the cartoon.

That said, I still want to see the spirit of the original preserved. So far I like what I'm seeing from Netflix- the world looks pretty good, the animals, while obviously CGI, look faithfully rendered, the costumes are miles better than what we saw in the 2010 movie (though I have my reservations about the saturation of the blue in the water tribe coats), and the characters all look pretty accurate to their animated counterparts. The lighting is dark because lighting is dark in every show these days, and I'm not 100% on the color palette. But I was glad to see some of the humor has been retained in the trailer- we see Aang running into the statue like in the opening of the cartoon, Sokka has a few one-liners, and the shot with Momo was cute. I'm a little worried Iroh's humor won't translate well into live action, but we'll see what they do with that (I imagine they'll have to cut back on some of the slapstick, Saturday-morning-cartoon antics anyways).

I like most of the casting too, from what I've seen so far. Dallas Liu looks like he's gonna be a great Zuko, Kiawentiio I already knew from Anne with an E and I think she'll be a perfect Katara, and I think Ian Ousley will grow on me as Sokka. His line reads sounded good in the trailer. I'm a little concerned about Gordon Cormier, he looks the part perfectly but he is so young and I felt like his delivery in the trailer was just...lacking a bit. But I need to see more of him to really judge. And I love the casting of Elizabeth Yu for Azula, I love that she looks like a tiny baby. No one will mistake her for the older sibling in this version. And of course the adult cast I'm not worried about at all.

(bully any of these children online btw and die by my sword)

Will this show be good? I don't know. But I hope it will at least justify its existence to me as more than just a nostalgic cash grab. That's what I'm looking for first and foremost.

#I'm honestly less and less worried that bryke parted ways with netflix over 'creative differences'#because I expect bryke would have been more likely to want a shot for shot remake #and while the original show is still one of my all time favorite pieces of media...we can't just credit that to them #and since I haven't liked everything they've done since atla....well #point being I'm not overly concerned that there were other creative voices involved in this remake #that might have actually taken some chains off the new production in a way #but we'll see what they did with that #atla live action

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empty-blog-for-lurking · 11 days

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Me: I don't know what to do with Veronica's character in post s8 au, I don't want her to be Just Lance's sister and Kuron's friend with Pidge's storyline slapped on her, but also I'm not really sure about her character. Sure there's the whole lying to her family thing but I don't think that's enough?

Brain: ok so what if Veronica started out as trying to look for what was Lance upto but she ends up being so obsessed with finding the truth that not only she repeatedly puts herself in harms way but also the original goal falls on wayside.

This could be her way of dealing with trauma which is getting engrossed in the Mission and a problem to fix while suppressing her grief and refusing to actually acknowledge her problems and her own emotions a foil to Kuron's arc that is him being literally driven by emotions. She's angry at Lance for leaving without a word and angry at her family for their clinginess, however she keeps it to herself and just avoid them pretending everything is fine and normal

Also a foil to Lance who started as trying to figure out what was going on but as soon as he realized that 1) Allura and Kuron are still sorta alive 2) he can bring them back, he got obsessed with it consequences by damned.

Plus through her we can actually explore how quintessence actually effects and changes humans rather than become aware of the end result

Also there's something a character who is obsessed with truth but is also such a frequent liar

#There's a lot more but it involves changing a lot of elements of this au and explaining half assed elements and scenes in my head #post s8 au #post s8 posting #Just realizing she's having a jon sims arc. Good for her! Atleast she won't accidentally cause an apocalypse #It is still very draft and beta and I keep changing things in it as soon as I think of something cool #I kinda want Lance to be like at first seeing him living a 'normal' life but also there's something clearly Wrong #Veronica seems to be always busy and gone and never there. Shadows and crows being weird #and a voice asking him 'Did you make right choice?' And 'Remember' and 'wake up'#only to reveal that he has been living in a fake reality and a lot of his family is dead #yk that one scene in dunmeshi where Laois digs up and stares at Falin's skull. Lance digging up a grave and be like 'Mom?'#it's representational in his own head. And Lance created this fake reality as a form of denialism #Veronica at first being standoffish not being completely honest with Kuron #Lying to Kuron and her superiors about where she had been making her sus #Kuron not knowing that Lance was the one who brought him back until much later #only that *Someone*was reaching out to him in Shiro's mind and made his body #The family is dead and Lance was living in fake reality reveal happens just as Veronica starts being honest with Kuron #Few of the family members are killed due to retaliation from an extremist galra group #A hot topic in coalition meetings which is a way for connecting Hunk!!!! To the plot!!!!!#I love you my brain!!!#Sorry this is so fucking incoherent

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journey-to-the-attic · 7 months

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i need u to think abt lucifer and zhao (in the das in the devildom au) bringing IK to her first day of school idk!! lucifer packing her bag before she starts. zhao is probably a lil tears in eye (lucifer dosent cry until he gets home bc he sees a lil photo of IK and he has to excuse himself). idk just lucifer being IK’s dad and being referred to as such…idk….makes my heart go smdndmc

well!! i can always think MORE

i think lucifer would have to be restrained from just fully giving ik the magical equivalent of a taser just in case any of the other three year olds in her class attempt to kill her. if he can't be there to protect his little kid then the next best thing is a magical gun wielding his powers

he gets better over time, but then one day ik starts feeling poorly so they call zhao and lucifer is RICOCHETING off the walls out of worry (having a small daughter just brings out all completely different sides of him)

for his own peace of mind lucifer goes to pick her up and when the school secretary is like "ah so you're her father" he has a Moment because it's the first time someone else has referred to him as such and he's just like !!!!!! YES I AM (much more outwardly calmly of course)

(it makes zhao very emotional as well so once ik's busy playing with her uncles him and lucifer just have to like. sit and silently hold each other about it)

also on ik's first day at school lucifer spent like two hours sitting in his room like this

#zhao had to sit with him because lucifer also wouldn't let go of his hand the whole time #lucifer already turns Pathetic when classic jtta ik is involved but the effects increase tenfold when she's tiny and still dependent on him #i think having a (also pathetic) husband would probably also have a compounding effect there #you know since he has someone to support him through it now #answering asks #anon asks #dad in the devildom #zhaolu #belphie tries to sneak like a knife into ik's little bag and instead of lucifer telling him off zhao has to do it instead #all of the demons are So paranoid about what might happen so zhao has to work overtime to act as the voice of reason #luckily it prevents him from overthinking and worrying himself into oblivion

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gintamajustaway · 25 days

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The fandom has gotten really dark since you left.. certain shippers are really aggressive about their ships to the point of bullying. I kno you’ve dealt with stuff like that in the past and you handled it all so well I remember reading some anon asks.. any tips n’tricks?

OOF, WHELP -- not sure I'll be much help given that I have no idea what state the fandom is in. All I can really say is that you're going to find aggressive shippers no matter what fandom you're in. My method to dealing with people like that was to just block them and add them to my blacklist. The only times I ever engaged with them was if they came at me directly (which rarely happened -- the more aggressive they are, the more cowardly they were when it came to confrontation) or if they put a callout post about me directly in the main fandom tag. I always clapped back at those people just because like lol if you've got a problem with my fics or my decision to delete them all, okay cool, I don't care, but doing stuff like putting a long-winded complaint post in the main tag is so childish and stupid.

The best advice I think I can give for this is to just not care LOL I sure as hell never did and still don't. Never will! Shipping is supposed to be fun and the people who actively try and take that fun away from others are struggling with issues outside of fandom, but shipping is their outlet so that's where their aggression manifests. Happy people don't care about drama over fictional characters, so go be a happy person! Utilize that block option and live your best life!

#anon #for real you will find this in every fandom #I've been too involved in my own stuff to get involved with any other fandoms after this one #but if you'd like an example of a fandom that went absolutely feral in terms of bullying #lookup what happened to the Voltron fandom #I wasn't even active in it and I heard so much stuff about it #sending voice actors death threats #sending food laced with nails and poisons #lying about trauma to get people to donate to a gofundme #stealing thousands and thousands of dollars for zines #the bloodshed between Shiro/Keith and Keith/Lance #it was all so incredibly stupid #for the love of god be a happy person #indulge yourself in what you enjoy #ignore everything else #even if you try to be nice to everyone like I did you will still experience haters #it happens and no biggie #do your best and learn your lessons then move on #HOPE THIS HELPS #sorry for all the tags #I forgot how much I enjoyed just whispering gently down here

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frecklystars · 8 months

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i know nobody is online rn to read this but ;-; i gotta get it off my chest i love ken so much he means everything to me he's making me so happy and i've needed him so so so bad. he's brought me comfort when my ptsd has been so fucking unbearable and every time i'm having a crying fit over losing my tf f/os or every time i'm having a flashback i ALWAYS immediately IMMEDIATELY think about him rushing to my side, holding me and saying "hey hey it's okay, i'm here, i'm right here" and it's such a relief because i haven't been able to genuinely wholeheartedly believe any character would be willing to do that for me the entire time i've been struggling this year.

i've never gone so long without comfort from f/os, much less being triggered by the ones who used to comfort me the most. so to have barbie and ken right now is like the biggest wave of relief every single day when i wake up and the hyperfixation is still there. sometimes i will literally close my eyes and sigh in relief when i hear a song and my first thought is sebastian or ken or six or... whomever. i love being in love again. i NEED this. i love waking up and my first thought isn't my trauma most of the time now, it's ken. or it's six. or it's barbie. or it's harley. or it's officer k. or it's... yeah you get it. i needed these characters so fucking badly. every time i see a gifset and get excited over it, i feel a rush of gratitude bc self shipping has always been the glue holding me together. it doesn't feel as intense or strong as the SB musical or TF used to make me feel but i am not picky. not at all. i will take anything and i'm praying this lasts for at LEAST another few weeks please

i may not be at a sense of peace right now and i dont know when i ever will be, it could be years, but im so. so. so. so so so thankful to have these characters right now when i've needed someone so badly for so long. i hope ken knows how much i love him ;-; i hope barbie knows how much she has helped me, has saved me from one of my major triggers and has helped me to love and feel safe around the color pink again. i wish they could see me when i'm not so broken but i'm glad they're here even when i'm at my worst, i'm glad they still love me even when they deserve to see me in a much better light

#it feels so fucking terrible not celebrating my bday with my starlight. i used to buy myself cakes and put his figurine next to them #i mean i still have... a little bit over one week... i cant... let it pass by without him being involved somehow #so i might make a quick vent doodle and queue it for the actual day of my bday #i refuse to not draw myself with him at least once for my special day #its not like we 'broke up' or anything but fuck it feels so bad #he's a literal fucking ptsd trigger. how fucking insane is that #im still in shock. im still in shock over what happened to me like i cant fucking believe it #wearing his necklace makes me cry so i just leave it on my dresser #that shouldnt be normal!!!!#but im hoping that shipping with barbie/ken is going to help me feel like i can reclaim control over my ships #bc my abuser made me feel like... i had no control over my TF ships whatsoever for a solid year #so now that i'm finally free of that toxicity i'm still shakily trying to learn how to ship again #i'll have moments where i'll worry ken will try to hurt me on purpose bc im so used to my abuser telling me how abusive any f/o would be #but then i tell myself 'hey what the fuck. this is MY story. NOBODY would abuse me i dont care WHO they are'#but it's so hard to unlearn several months of abuse 😔#and even harder to look at a character who i invested so much time and energy and money into #my voice clips. my cameos. all of my steve blum autographs. my art for steve. all of it feels sad and numbing #not just stsc but everyone in any TF universe feels like... a threat and i get panic attacks when i see very specific characters sometimes #its awful. it hurts so bad. i love ken so much. but nothing compares to what i had with my TF comfort characters #but it's okay bc... ken is holding my hand and he might not understand ptsd at all but he can still squeeze me tight #and six HAS c-ptsd he GETS it. and he's there to hold me when my nightmares make me fall apart. he's my rock #vent #ptsd #sorry it's 5am i had a bad nightmare and now i refuse to sleep again #i fucking hate ptsd i fucking hate living like this i rly wish i knew how to cure myself #im exercising im eating and drinking often im sleeping as much as i can #theres only so much i can do #when does it get better?? when the fuck does it get better? im serious. not rhetorical. when does this finally heal #i dont even know if im healing or if im just distracted... but fuck ill take anything

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