#w my past trauma

[shorthq]

ughhhhh

#my mom has been wanting to get family tattoos but her reasoning always sounds sinister #like i know it’s because she wants something to look at and know we all share it but #i can’t help but feel like she wants to brand me to blackmail me w it #i already have my next tattoo planned for the most part and she wants the whitest tattoo to ever be white and as poc it wouldn’t feel right #to have an infinity sign on my wrist #i don’t want to tell her that i don’t want something on my body that reminds me of her because the deepest corners of my mind associate her #w my past trauma #but like it would make her happy #and make her get off my case #and like the reason it feels like branding opposed to getting a cute mating tattoo w my mom is #my best friend and i want to get matching kind of creepy tattoos because we love trevor henderson #and ask because we Both came up with the idea #everytime she brings it up the mentions me designing it thus disconnecting her from it entirely when she’s really creative #like everytime she brings it up i almost want to be so hostile about it and say why don’t i just get your name tattooed across my chest #would that make you happy???? but i know that isn’t fair and things have been neutral between us

[whumpshaped]

Something specific I‘d love to see from the perspective of your writing is a ex-heavily conditioned whumpee‘s pov of being caretaked when their are too delirious to realize their it’s not their master it’s their friend (caretaker)

tw sickfic, past trauma, past implied noncon, delirium, whumpee offering themself up, conditioned whumpee

"N-no, no, please, not tonight... n-not tonight... I won't be able to..." Whumpee trailed off, flinching when Master's hand brushed against their forehead.

"Won't be able to do what, sweetheart?" they asked softly, the pet name soothing their nerves a little.

"Please you," they muttered. "I don't think... I don't think I c-can–"

"Whumpee, what are you saying?"

Oh. Master was angry. Even in their half-conscious state, they scrambled to backtrack and correct themself. "N-nothing, nothing, you're right! You're right, I can take it, I can do– do whatever you want, and... and I'm nice and warm, at least–"

"Whumpee." Master cupped their cheeks, and Whumpee's eyes fluttered closed as they waited for either a hit of a forceful kiss. "Whumpee, darling, are you with me? Do you know who I am?"

Do you know who I am?

"Master, my master, my owner, my saviour, my god," they recited the words obediently without any thought, as they had done so many times before. "And as your lowly p-pet, I take anything you give me with endless... endless gratitude..."

"Oh, dear. You're so much sicker than I realised..."

"I'm sorry, Master. I'll do my best for you. I'm sorry I tried to get out of it."

Instead of more scolding, Master pulled back and away from them. They opened their eyes just in time to see them wipe away a tear, and their heart sank. What had they done? Had they done something wrong? Had they upset Master?

They tried to get up so they could grovel properly, but Master pushed them back down onto the bed. It didn't take much effort, really; they had already been weaker than them before the sickness, and doubly so now. Not to mention the way they'd been trained to go limp whenever Master wanted to manhandle them.

"You need to rest, sweetheart. Okay? That's all I ask of you."

Whumpee blinked, then nodded. How gracious. How merciful. Even though they'd been a horrible pet, already resisting and arguing before Master had even told them their intentions, they still found it in themself to forgive and let them sleep. "Thank you," they murmured. "Thank you, Master."

~

general drabbles taglist: @ashh-ed @whumpsday @whump-queen @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @rosewriteswhump @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @whumpkinpie @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @whump-em @cyborg0109 @morning-star-whump @justanotherlokifan @2in1whump @lthrboy @justletmereadmywhump @florissimps @anonymous-tiangou @whump-kitty

#specifically w my writing?🥺🥺 #u guys r so nice.. #asks #whump #whump drabble #sickfic #past trauma #past implied noncon #delirium #whumpee offering themself up #recovery fic #conditioned whumpee

[iraprince]

well! i've exited my 20s. not gonna get goopy or graphic about it but this is a big deal for me bc for the vast majority of my life i did not think i was gonna get this far. now like once a day i distinctly have the thought "i'm so fucking glad i didn't kill myself"

i feel weird of course but im also really excited for my 30s. im excited to enjoy my marriage and to become better friends with myself and to make more art. thanks for being here and for being kind to me

#cw suicide mention #in past years i have requested no birthday greetings for personal trauma reasons #but ive been kind of trying to like. wean myself off that gently. bc i dont want to be sensitive abt/scared of my bday forever #so this year like. let em rip. i think its fine #also tumblr will not let me edit my pinned. im gonna be irritated if i have to remake it lmao. but ill deal w that tomorrow

[joculatrixster]

listen, as someone who watched grian as evo and yandere highschool were being released and knew him for years from those series long before i cared about hermitcraft...if yall r going to include yhs ur angsy fics and hcs i refuse to take u seriously until i see someone acknowledge his abusive romantic relationship w the necronamicon bc why am i the only person who remembers that he was fucked up by that book

#i havent seen any of u mofos refernce it cept the one guy Knwon for yhs #am i the ONLY guy who watched past the forced to be tauris grian thing! he has more truma past that guys #he very much was in a relationship w the necronamicon in season 2 it was a whole thing come on #grian #yandere high school #im mot unpacking the very ooc grian watcher hcs bc i dont care to but #as someone who fixated on sams series in middle school that version of grian was my intro to him #and yall do not even know the surface lvl of his trauma come on! the book thing was a big deal in season 2!!! #also they ended the universe or whatever but i rlly did care more about the book thing than the fact sam and cthulu had something going on #i need to rewatch the series tbh

[cock-holliday]

Yknow I never felt really included in most “women’s spaces” whether I identified with it or had it projected onto to me, not because of an emphasis on liking femininity that I did not ever share, but on a hatred of men and masculinity. The most effeminate femmes in the whole world didn’t isolate me as much as cis and trans folks alike who loathe men and masculinity.

I cannot relate to trans spaces that hate maleness. That hate masculinity. That see either as the mark of evil, and anyone who wasn’t as wise or strong as you to reject both is some nuisance.

I am delighted for folks, cis and trans, who have shaped femininity and femaleness into a home. But the self-loathing that comes from transfemme and transmasc spaces is suffocating. I wish I had Kate Bornstein’s patience with separatism, and while I don’t have it, I do hope you all heal from this trauma that makes you so vile to your own siblings and comrades.

In the meantime, I hope it is simply a lack of curation on my part, and that the seeming dominance of ra/dfem politics in trans spaces is a loud minority I am being exposed to here.

#LJsm #multigender folks are such an afterthought #and nb in general is split into binaries #I refuse to cut out parts of my identity for your comfort #and while ‘man’ is not a gender I really identify with I refuse to look upon that identity in my past or in others’ past/present w/ disgust #womanhood is not categorized by suffering and neither is transness #you can find common ground with bad experience but identity based in your hate and trauma will never liberate us

[kkbardd]

I need more people to get asurei like you do tbh. 4km deep steel barred closet lesbian Asuka who probably would have an utter meltdown over it one day.

LMFAOOO YES !!! Her whole chara arc was one of the best representations of comphet I’ve seen yet 😭

“hm i like the feeling of being desired and protected but if a man does it I’m repulsed. Oh I know! Let me go after this unattainable figure that will humor me enough to give me the illusion I want without actually going through with anything.

I finally transferred to Japan but all the guys at my school are creeps and objectify me at every turn. I wish there was someone who could understand me… Oh right, there’s this beautiful girl pilot that I’m dying to meet, maybe she can help me!

I tried to be friends with her but she brushed me off.. Still, she seems pretty interesting! She’s a way better pilot than Shinji, so I’m excited to fight alongside her. She has everything I aspire to be but I’m just constantly being compared to her, which is annoying. I guess she’s my competition here… She also gets special treatment from guys, but doesn’t seem to mind it like I do? That pisses me off! I could just ignore her but for some reason every time I’m around her I get flustered and lash out! She won’t leave my mind but that’s just because of jealousy right? She even saved my life when I was reliving all of my past trauma from an angel attack but for some reason it made me feel even worse! GOD I hate women??”

#im honestly can’t believe they wrote her like that unintentionally #like there had to be a closeted lesbian on that writing team #it’s like im seeing my past kid self when i thought i liked guys…. #im a firm believer that if misato didn’t compare them when they first met they’d probably be way closer than they ended up being #asuka just has a lot of pride and was forced to see her as competition rather than someone to pair w instead of shinji #also. #rei was the key to putting a stop to her trauma-induced panic attack abt men and her mommy issues. please let that soak in for a bit #asurei #nge #ask

[whoviandoodler]

one of the things that makes mdzs SUCH a great story is the fact that it's a tragedy with queer protagonists, but their queerness isn't the cause or the center of the tragedy. it's not even related, really. it's a story about love and loss and wrong and right, about what we owe each other and what we owe ourselves, about how you can find joy even amidst chaos and grief; its complexity and tragedy is what makes it so profound and touching. sure, there's 'casual' queerphobia in the story, but with everything else going on, it's not really relevant- wwx's mostly like, 'oh, i like guys? i like lwj? i love lwj? fuck, what if he doesn't love me back? am i being presumptuous to think he returns my feelings? what do I do now?' followed by 'wait, he loves me back??? we're getting married IMMEDIATELY', and that whole attitude is very refreshing because sometimes you just want to read a queer story that isn't about queer suffering but that's still incredibly miserable, and i think we as a queer community deserve it

#mdzs #lwj #wwx #lan wangji #wei wuxian #mdzs thoughts #dan talks #wangxian #obviously the story has its issues but. FFUCK i just want something to break my heart w/o having to read thru queer trauma #ik danmei in theory isnt aimed at queer audiences but compared to like. some of 'made for cisshet women' queer man content ive read in #the past mdzss iss a breath of fresh air. imo most issues lie w the sex scenes and the INSANE lack of lube but. #ill forgive it this once #their dynamic and love story is otherwise great. just dont take it ass sex ed lol ud fucking die #the sex scenes are funny tho. im always cackling and going YOURE GOING TO KILL EACH OTHER GOD SLOW DOWN #also in gen we need to uh. do better w tws bcs theres a LOT of noncon rp in there and i didnt see it mentioned anywhere in the fandom after #hours of being around it. books do tws plssss someones going to run headfirst into there and not have a good time

[mariemariemaria]

Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality

#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh #like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good #but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees #the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support #and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well #like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people #maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a #whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously #women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women #or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak #like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years #but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people #i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse #drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so* #and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles #+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries #and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation #isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote #*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now #and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad #but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing #and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this. #love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol

[jewishfalin]

Ngl still hurt by the anon who said my partner and I are both too feminine to tell im the butch despite the photos in question being from halloween and everything

#like i know i should just move past it and anon was clearly the asshole in the situation #welp... i am sensitive and already have trauma around being percieved as/told im too feminine to be how i wanna be👍 #and the fact that it came from another butch #and they said they also are low income and wear feminine stuff like dresses sometimes #which... i know that is so hypocritical why am i letting someone like that get me down #and i wasnt even wearing a dress or a skirt or anything i just had halloween themed fake nails and a headscarf and like. a miniscule amount #of makeup on #but anyways #the fact it came from another butch really hurt #cuz like. id expect someone w a similar gender experience to understand how fucking hurtful that is #and i keep thinking about it bc i wanted to be poison ivy for purim but i keep having panic attacks #bc i keep worrying ill get told im too feminine again #fuck my life #vent

[boyghcst]

​idk not being able to trust ur own memories thoughts and feelings and constantly second guessing everything u think and do is no way to live

#idk but i feel like im always gaslighting myself n idek whts real or true or right. thoughts w past bad experiences #like I’ve just completely forgotten them. n idk ive had dissociative amnesia growing up w trauma #n it kinda feels like it’s the same thing where i just can’t remember like for so long it was the only thing keeping me up at night #and it makes me feel like a fraud. #I do doubt myself alot. like i always rhink in the bad person and in the wrong from bad experiences I’ve had w ppl #but like what if im not acc wrong n tht they were just harmful n i was struggling w it idk. #i hate thinking of myself as a victim and think im far more likely just a bad person #but everyone around me thinks the exact opposite even therapist so idk it’s like my own perception is so different to others #journal

[whumpacabra]

Butchering

Referenced nightmares, referenced therapy, referenced animal death [meat production], implied past trauma, an aro(?)ace’s poor understanding of romantic/sexual attraction

[Concurrent to The Mademoiselle]

Deitelbaum’s was a good place for East to start. It was usually quiet and slow paced, and Joshua - the manager - knew the Holloway Home well. Alister had been working there for months, and was more than happy to help train East. (It was only a matter of time before he moved on to a more permanent job - or at least, one he could pay his own rent with - and Joshua could use the extra hands.)

“Any questions about the slicer?”

“How often is it fully disinfected?” East had surprisingly good questions, as focused and serious as he was doing chores around the house. Alister was relieved Nate agreed it was time the guy got a job - he needed something to throw himself into other than dusting the common room or sorting the laundry.

“He always like this or just first day nerves?” Joshua happened to be there that morning, both to meet East and drop off meat fresh from the butcher. East was currently prepping the cutting boards, brow furrowed and eyes intense as he worked. Alister doubted he even heard them talking about him here at the front of the deli.

“You can see why Nate needed him out of the house - he’s just the same doing chores and stuff at home.” Tierney leaned against the counter, yawning. The sun wasn’t quite over the horizon yet - the deli would open soon, but they probably wouldn’t see customers for another hour or two.

“He’s a good worker.” Alister affirmed, taking a parcel of beef from Joshua. The older gentlemen looked…skeptical wasn’t the right word, perhaps politely concerned?

“Don’t let him over work himself - last thing we want is someone getting hurt.”

“We’ll keep an eye on him, don’t worry J.”

Joshua gave a long suffering look to Alister; Tierney wasn’t the pinnacle of professionalism, but he worked well with the customers. Alister sighed, glancing back at East - hair tied back and stuffed under a hairnet, gloves and apron spotless.

“I’ll let you know if there are any problems.”

—

East was a quick learner, which Alister was thankful for. He didn’t expect so many customers today - was there a holiday coming up he had forgotten? His second guess was that there was a wave of tourists passing through; he didn’t recognize many of the people in the deli.

Things were starting to calm down at the registers, enough that Alister considered stepping back to help East prepare the orders, when a new customer stepped up to the counter. Alister glanced at her and smiled, but his heart had already started to sink.

He had seen a few new immigrants come to the kosher deli, but Joshua usually handled their orders. So when the veiled older woman started to speak, Alister felt embarrassed guilt creep onto his face. He didn’t understand her - but he could tell she was pointing to the lamb behind the counter, and her tone was questioning. Both their frustrations were starting to rise when, to Alister’s surprise, he heard East’s soft rumble behind him.

“She’s asking how it was slaughtered.”

Alister nearly jumped, muttering a curse to himself. East was so quiet for such a large man, a silent shadow hovering over his shoulder.

“Oh. Uh - can - can you tell her it’s kosher, Joshua picks it up from the butcher.” Alister wouldn’t admit he was impressed by the sudden ease in East’s tone as he replied to the woman, the two having a brief back and forth. East’s face was uncharacteristically relaxed, tone almost confident - though, Alister couldn’t be sure, seeing as he didn’t understand the language.

“It’s halal too, right? No blood, killed clean?”

“Yes? Yes - I’ve seen them butcher sheep there.” Alister glanced back at he woman, embarrassment bleeding to curiosity. There were more and more Muslim immigrants with each passing year, but he should have guessed by her headwear she wasn’t Joshua’s usual foreign clientele.

Eventually it seemed East and the woman reached an agreement, and he translated her order to Alister before going to the back and preparing the meat. It was a bit later, during a lull when the shop was quiet, that Tierney dare broach the subject. It was their lunch break - the closed sign temporarily flipped while the three enjoyed a moment’s peace and some prepacked food in the store room.

“Why the hell didn’t you mention you were bilingual? Trying to get out of register work?” Tierney had wolfed down his lunch in minutes, idly waiting for the others to finish.

“Didn’t think it was relevant to cutting up meat.” East mumbled, eating his own sandwich in small bites as though savoring the blandness of ham and cheese.

“Where the hell’d you pick that up? You’re German, ain’t ya?”

“Work.” East stiffened, almost imperceptibly, but Alister could see his grip on the soft bread tighten.

“Right, soldier and stuff - damn. Figured you might know a few phrases and shit, not, like, be fluent.” Tierney rambled, but Alister quirked a brow at the revelation. Military certainly seemed to fit the way East carried himself. (And it could explain the nights Al lay awake praying that the poor bastard would sleep soundly for both their sake’s.)

“Nate never mentioned - ”

East cut him off, words clipped and cold.

“No. He didn’t.”

Alister winced at his tone, eyes flickering between East’s eyes and the floor. He didn’t seem angry, but he did seem agitated. On edge.

“Oh, sorry mate I didn’t mean to - “

“It’s fine. Just don’t like talking about it.”

The quiet that followed wasn’t the most uncomfortable silence Alister had sat through, but it was getting close.

“Thanks, by the way. For jumping in when you did. Worst thing when working the front is telling a customer no.” Alister sighed, cracking open a bottle of coke. Some tension seemed to bleed from East’s shoulders.

“No problem.”

—

A few days later, the woman was back, and East wasn’t there. (Alister almost regretted suggesting Nate find him a therapist - nightmares be damned he did not want to turn this sweet old lady away just because he couldn’t understand her.) But this time, she wasn’t alone.

There was a younger woman with her, and for a brief moment, Alister forgot his anxieties. He had known his fair share of beautiful women - he had childhood crushes, unreciprocated flirting, and a few short lived trysts. But he had to admit, this attraction was new. He couldn’t see the shape of her legs, hidden in the folds of a long black skirt, or the curve of her chest, hidden behind the thick plush of a winter coat. Ever her hair, wrapped and covered in a simple purple headscarf, was hidden from him.

And while he could see her soft lips, her dark eyes - that was not what enraptured him. It was her poise, the grace and confidence with which she carried herself. Like royalty, or a soldier leading the charge. He almost didn’t realize she was already standing at the register, speaking to him.

“Excuse me? Sorry, I’m not sure if you recognize her - my mother - “

“Yeah. The - the lamb the other day. I remember her.” Alister gave a shy smile to the older woman, who was muttering in her own language to her daughter. She glanced back at her mother, an embarrassed smile of her own creeping onto her face.

“Well, we just wanted to thank you - the lamb was amazing and she wanted to let you know she’ll be buying whatever meat she gets from here from now on.”

“Oh - oh it’s, it’s my job, ma’am - “

“Jasmine; my mother is Hanan.”

“Ah, well, nice to meet you both. Um, I’m Al.”

“So your name tag says.”

“Oh - right. Right, ah, well East - he was the one that helped, uh, translate between us - he’s not here today but I’ll be sure to pass it in to him. That you’re grateful.”

“We’d appreciate that.” Jasmine’s eyes were laughing at him, and Alister knew a blush was flushing his face pink. Why was he such a dunce all of a sudden?

Hanan whispered something to her daughter, and - he probably imagined it - but he swore Jasmine’s cheeks seemed to warm as her eyebrows shot up in surprise before she muttered a reply he didn’t understand.

“Well, um, we’ll take the same order as last time - please.”

“No problem, Tierney over there will ring you up and I’ll - I’ll get right to it.”

—

“You have no game. When was the last time you talked to a bird?”

“Can it, O’Hare.”

[Before Unlocked Cage]

(Part of my Freelancers: Changing Tides series)

Taglist: @stargeode @sacredwrath

#whump #recovery #nightmares #therapy #past trauma #animal death #food production #freelancers #no proofreading we die like Elias. strangled by the hand of our brother to escape hell the only way we know how. #listen. listen this subplot is important even if idk how to cleanly introduce it. #coming to terms w the fact that I’m more aro than I thought. wtf is a crush supposed to be like??? #whatever. East works in a deli. Alister has a crush on a hijabi customer. tierney is a little shit. let me project on all my ocs pls.

[nevada-got-screwed-over]

Actually I don’t think I’ll ever forgive how Wash’s disability and subsequent ‘cure’ was handled.

#beans speaks #personal #rvb #red versus blue #the Carolina and wash plotline was a lil ehhh bc I don’t think they gave Carolina’s attitude abt his new limits a healthy foil #like it would have been see easy to have Dr Grey or Wash himself parallel her fear and frustration #and it could have gotten into such character depth too! #shine a light on her past trauma with losing people/them getting hurt to show that a lot of her perspective is ultimately selfish #which isn’t ‘wrong’ it’s normal considering what she’s been through but she needs to respect wash’s autonomy! #I haven’t seen 0 but. I heard. they gave him a. a fucking AI and it was all yippee he’s fine #as though that doesn’t go against like a major personal boundary of Wash (not a big fan of ai in his head) while also ignoring the whole. #yeah we just have to deal with this. it’s not fun and it’s gonna suck sometimes but it doesn’t change our love or respect. #sorry if I sound insane I also haven’t watched that season in a while and I’m. a lil. wooo tonight y’know #like as a disabled person w a progressive condition that is stopping me from doing things I used to be able to do #and will continue to limit my abilities as the years go by #it makes me wanna tear someone limb from fucking limb

[wakanai]

.

#i feel so isolated #i can talk to people #but it's hard for me to find someone i can genuinely connect with #hard for me to converse in interesting conversation with people i find interesting #i was in a group setting a while ago #talking w “friends” (not close friends; but still 'friends') #it was ok #the thing is #i don't particularly like my friends #like im not that invested. it's hard for me to find people i connect with enough to be invested in and vice versa #it's most likely a 'me' thing #i think its because of a lack of communication skills that its hard for me to find connection/make friends that i rlly like and etc #ironically the friends i do like are always extroverts and i always feel like i care more about them than they do #because they have sm friends whom they're close to and genuinely connected with meanwhile i struggle with even making 1 connection that #doesn't drain me/makes me happy/keeps me stimulated #so when i do find that 1 person i become attached and want to be closer to them #and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much #and i try not to be too clingy so as not to annoy them #i want to be closer to them though. we have our own friend groups but still #school for me is overall quite lonely. my 2 close friends are in another school #there's only a few people in class that i enjoy talking to #the only one (the 'main' one) that's my friend is the extrovert i mentioned a while ago #and for some reason im getting flashbacks or trauma from my past friendship #because as of now we're just classroom friends #and in my past friendship. i was also invested in that homegirl. but..we drifted apart T-T #its quite sad #i feel lonely #i want to be better at bond making and connections because #its miserable #vent

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ugh i must confess i hate naoya so much i can't like that brat's cover

PSHDHDHHD THAT’S UNDERSTANDABLE ANON!!!!! he’s awful i do NOT blame anyone for not liking him 😭😭 unfortunately i’m a sucker for wellwritten villains laced in irony so i <3 him but that’s my own issue LMAO

i’ve been thinking abt him a lot recently so i’m using this ask as an excuse to talk abt why… i like him…. pls feel free to ignore this anon !!!!!

sigh….. he’s just . so Good. definitely my favorite minor jjk villain (reggie & uraume are close behind >:3)… he perfectly encompasses everything that’s wrong w the world of sorcery + the zenin clan in particular and i genuinely think he’s such a realistic take on what misogyny looks like?? he makes me want to throw up. the fact that he idolized toji so deeply and hated his family for not understanding toji’s loneliness and strenght only to make that EXACT mistake w maki just because he never saw her as a person…. refusing to accept that she caught up to toji before he even got close….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 it’s so Good.

and don’t even get me STARTED on his deaths bc they’re some of my favorite moments in jjk when it comes to pure poetic cinema LMAO….. his whole speech about how “any woman who can’t walk three steps behind a man should get stabbed in the back and die” only for him to die when maki’s mom stabs him in the back + a SECOND time when maki stabs him in the back (and she’s even standing three steps behind him <3 so considerate of her <33) yeahhhh it just Does something to my brain. oh and that’s not even mentioning the fact that his domain expansion is formed in the shape of a womb + that he loses against maki because his domain registers her presence as an object….. akutami COOKED w this fight holy shit

but yeah i just. think he’s awful and wonderful and i can’t WAIT to see him die in s3 :333 i am fond of him but . in the same way a scientist is fond of the frog they’re dissecting…. yk………

#sorry anon i got carried away T_T in my defense i am eepy rn #ty for indulging me 🫂🫂🫂 #OHH ALSO i love his fight w choso a lot…. #i feel like his presence in the story was just perfect… didn’t drag out 2 long but also had a big impact #he’s quite literally the manifestation of maki’s trauma so she NEEDS to defeat him to move past it and she does <333 #sorry apparently i’m STILL gushing over this fkn guy 😭😭😭 i rlly am so weak for villains…. #BUT PLSPLSPLS DON’T MISUNDERSTAND i do NOT like this fucker as a person 😭😭 not kidding when i say he makes me wanna throw up #he’s just really wellwritten and that’s literally All that matters to me when it comes to characters #ask tag ✩

[tonteriyoung]

travis martinez was a dumb traumatized teenage boy in the 90s stop villianizing him for some stupid shit he said literal days after his dad fell out of a plane in front of him goodbye

#travis martinez #yellowjackets #i love travis :( #pls i know he's one of two (2) men who are main characters in the past version of the show #and the only cishet one of them #and i know we all villainize and hate most men #but travis doesn't deserve it he was a kid dealing w trauma and the societal expectations of 1996 #yeah he was a dick but do u blame him???? #do u know a single man who was a teenager in 1996 who WASN'T a dick back then???? #pls i beg of u #travis doesn't deserve the hate the yellowjackets fandom projects onto him #he's a tragic character bc you root for him (or i do) in the past only to find out very early on that he dies in the future timeline #travis never gets his happy ending #he never gets to find peace or contentment or happiness #he's always haunted by the wilderness and what happened out there and the people they left behind #never in my life did i think i would be defending a straight man like this but c'mon #y'all seem to forget he's a child

[glitterdustcyclops]

so i've seen my therapist for 3 sessions now which isn't a lot but I think it's enough to say there is just something really refreshing about working with an explicitly queer positive/affirming therapist

like i did not realize how much weight i was bringing to my old sessions, of doing the mental arithmetic of "how can i explain this in the way a Straight Man will understand" and now it's just easy to...speak. and express myself as unflinching and honest as i want to be

is very nice

#chocolate life #personal #so far i've ended very session crying over the trauma we've unearthed this week #but its good. feels cathartic. #cant wait till we can dive more into the work of dealing with what we're unburying right now #but i really appreciate her approach. my past experiences w therapy have been very...rushed. #like we only have x sessions so we have to get to the point where ur Fixed Now asap #which is probably why it never seems to stick once i stop going #but this time rlly feels like i have the luxury of taking as long as i need