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the-guilty-writer · 1 year

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I'd Better Ask Emily

Request from anon: Hear me out😅 Spencer Reid x daughter!reader where the reader is a lesbian but is to scared to tell Spencer and Spencer someone find out by accidentally reading her diary or something?

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

Summary: When Spencer goes looking for your school notebook and accidentally reads your diary instead he goes to the BAU bisexual badass for help.

A/N: I really wanted to do this justice so there's angst and fluff and bisexual Emily Prentiss because she had more chemistry with women than any male love interest. I’m also a sucker for Reid and Prentiss friendship so there is a good chunk of it in here.

CW: reader is gay, Emily is bi, let’s be honest everyone on the team is a little fruity, suggestions that Emily wasn’t supported, coming out of the closet, reader goes to social justice march.

---

“And my math homework is on the table for you to check over!” It was a Friday morning and you were in a rush to get out the door. There was a social justice march beginning at the national mall in half an hour and your AP government teacher had convinced the principal to cancel classes so every student could participate. Plus you were getting extra credit.

“What about your reading summaries?” Your dad asked you. Spencer always proof-read your graded assignments, per your request. It helped to have his genius input, though sometimes you wondered if he went easy on you. Since you were a child, you’d never made a craft or drew a picture or wrote something that your dad didn’t love.

“In my notebook on my desk,” you said hastily. “Bye, love you!”

“Love you too. Don’t get-” The door slammed shut. Spencer sighed. “Arrested.”

He made his way to your room. For the most part you were tidy, but your desk was a mess. Colored pens and highlighters, loose leaf paper with to-do lists, a stack of books that was falling over onto the jumbled surface. Spencer began to sift through the clutter, fixing the stack of books, putting your writing utensils in a pile, looking around for your notebook- but of course you hadn’t clarified which notebook. By the time he was done sorting through the mess there were five of them total. He began to read through them, trying to identify which one you wrote your reading summaries in.

It was down to the last two. Spencer grabbed the next one in the stack and opened to a random page:

I’ve never been one for poetry, but I find myself wanting to write verses on how her eyes crinkle when she laughs and the way her hips sway as she walks.

That sounded English-y and promising. Spencer kept reading.

I imagine her skin is soft, like velveteen, and her hair like expensive silk. The smell of her perfume is that of vanilla and honey; it reminds me of summer.

The sound of her voice is like a siren’s music. When she calls my name I can’t help but get up from my spot in the cafeteria and-

Wait.

There weren’t cafeterias in the book you were reading for school.

Spencer read the passage back again and again. He couldn’t help himself- he flipped to the front page to start from the beginning and finished reading the entirety of your diary in two minutes. There were entries spanning over two years, but one thing stuck out to Spencer more than anything else:

You talked about girls.

You talked liking girls.

Of course the diary contained passages on other things, like the day you visited your dream school and a cute dog you had met at the park… but you were dreaming of cute girls. And you never told him.

Spencer closed the diary and put it on your desk. His only thought: I’d better ask Emily about this.

---

Emily added a small amount of creamer to her coffee and went to sit down at her desk, highly regretting that she’d put her paperwork until the last minute again. The stack of files on her desk was beginning to rival Hotch’s, and that was not a competition she wanted to win. She sat down at her desk and opened up a file, pen in hand ready to go when-

“Um, hey Emily. Can I ask you something?”

If it was anyone but Spencer, she probably would have told them to ask her during the lunch break she wasn’t going to take, but there was a hesitancy in his voice that made her stop. Emily knew she looked like she might bite someone if they bothered her- Morgan had already gotten a taste of her mood that morning- but Spencer never seemed to notice when her annoyance rose to the surface. If he was uncomfortable it was because he had his own problem. He needed her help.

And she needed his speed reading to get through all the files on her desk.

“Morning, Reid,” she said, her annoyance turning to concern. “Is everything okay?”

“Well, I- uh- I kind of saw something I shouldn’t have this morning and I wanted to ask you about it.” He rubbed his neck nervously.

Emily tried to keep a straight face as she thought of every embarrassing teenage incident captured on video or sin-to-win photograph that could possibly be out there for Spencer to come across.

“What is it?” Emily asked, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

“You like women romantically, right?”

Okay… that didn’t rule out embarrassing adolescent mistakes or weekends in Atlantic City.

“Yes.”

“Because I accidentally read (Y/N)’s diary this morning and she writes a lot about being attracted to girls but she hasn’t told me yet and-”

“You read your daughter’s diary?!” Emily wasn’t sure if she was more shocked that Reid would do such a thing, or relieved that her privacy was still intact. “Reid-”

“It was an accident!” he said. “I was looking for her reading summaries for school and she told me it was in the notebook on her desk and then I just saw it…”

Emily hoped the devastation on Spencer’s face was for the right reasons.

“Why wouldn’t she tell me?”

Yeah… it was for the right reasons.

Emily sighed, leaning her elbows on her desk. “I’m sure that you demonstrate your open-mindedness at home-”

“I do.”

“And I’m sure you tell (Y/N) that you love her no matter what-”

“All the time.”

“But that doesn’t make it any less scary.”

Spencer didn’t respond.

“Coming out isn’t easy. No matter how sure you are that you will be accepted there’s always a little bit of doubt. There’s always the fear that it’ll change the fundamental way a person loves you and that you’ll never treat them the same.” Emily pushed away memories- memories filled with pain and relief and anxiety and frustration. The only thing that eased the thoughts were that she knew you wouldn’t have to go through what she did; not with Spencer as your dad. “She’s probably feeling really afraid, even if she doesn’t show it.”

“How can I make it better?”

Spencer’s genuine love for you- a love that every child should get to experience- made Emily feel as though she was falling apart and being put back together again all at the same time.

“Just let her know you love her,” Emily said. “A little goes a long way.”

---

As you walked up to the door of the apartment you felt like you were floating on cloud nine; for two years you had been crushing on this girl you shared classes with. You knew she was openly and unapologetically gay- making it a point to post pictures of herself on social media with pride flags and holding hands with her now ex-girlfriend. They had broken up about eight months ago and ever since then you’d hope that she would notice you. For three months the two of you had hung out in group settings- getting to know one another with other people there as a buffer- but you’d gathered your courage today to ask her out on a date. And she said yes.

“So I guess the march was good?”

You were so distracted from the events of the day you hadn’t even noticed your dad was home.

“Oh, yeah,” you said, startled. “It was good. Really good. Lots of… social justice and things.” You cursed yourself for not having a better answer. You should have been good at faking feelings and answers by now, having been raised by a profiler. Even then, Spencer always saw right through you.

The high you were on came crashing down- your dad always saw right through you. There was no way you could go on a date, let alone your first date, without him catching on. Discomfort grappled with your stomach and anxiety bubbled in your chest. You tried to reach for the courage you had earlier, but it was gone.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Your dad walked over and put a gentle hand on your arm.

“Uh-” You swallowed. “Yeah- yeah, I’m fine.”

Your dad suddenly looked weary. It was the same look when he told you he was going to miss your tenth birthday because of a case, or when he got a call that your grandmother’s medication wasn’t working as well as they had hoped.

“(Y/N),” he started. “I love you. I really hope you know that. And I’m glad you had a good day.”

“I love you too, dad,” you said, waiting for him to break bad news. But it didn’t come. He just gave you his awkward tight-lipped smile before tucking your hair behind your ear and turning away.

There was something about the gesture and the words that called the courage back to you. Well, some of the courage.

“I’m going on a date,” you blurted. Spencer turned back to you. You tried to look for clues on his face or in his body language that would tell you what he was thinking or feeling, but you were too caught up in your own head to make sense of any of it. “I asked someone out on a date and they said yes.”

Your father smiled wide. “That’s great, honey! Is it anyone I know?”

“Oh- um-” Spencer didn’t know many of your friends in person, but he knew them from what you told him, and what Garcia could dig up on them. “Yeah. They’re in some of my classes.”

You waited for your dad to call you out on the vagueness of your language, but he didn’t. He only continued to smile and encourage you to go on- is it a study date or a real date? Real date. Weekend or after school? Weekend. Are you taking the metro or do you want him to drive you? Actually it was a walkable distance.

The more you talked, the more excited you got. You were still careful to control your language, but the bravery was beginning to grow. You thought about taking a deep breath, but you didn’t. Instead you just said, “And she’s a girl.”

The world stilled for just a moment- your heart which was beating fast with excitement was now racing with panic. Your stomach was in knots and you felt your hands begin to shake. “I’m gay, dad.”

Spencer placed a gentle hand over yours, stopping it from quivering. The look in his eyes couldn’t be described as happy, but it wasn’t sad. No… it was peace. It was content.

“I know,” he said.

“You- you do?” The weight began to lift off your shoulders, but it was replaced by a bit of shock.

“Yes.” Spencer smiled. “Next time you should clarify which of your notebooks you wrote your assignments in.” Both of you chuckled, and you felt your body unwind as tension left your muscles. “And if it’s any consolation, I think your poetry is great.”

You smiled. “You always love everything I write.”

Your dad pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Because I love you.”

There was no more tension now- no more fear and no more doubt- just you and your dad being excited about your first big crush and your first big date. And it didn’t matter that it was with a girl. Spencer would always love you no matter what.

"So," he said. "What are you going to wear?"

You thought about the clothes you had, but none of your outfits seemed just right.

"I think I might go shopping for something new," you said.

Spencer smiled. You had a shopping buddy- the same one since you were little.

"So I guess I'd better ask Emily."

#criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x daughter!reader #spencer reid x child!reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x teen!reader #criminal minds x daughter!reader #criminal minds x child!reader #emily prentiss x platonic!reader

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sugarbag · 1 year

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✰﹣𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗯𝗲𝗿

hockeyplayer!abby anderson x black!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀. you didn't even want to go to this stupid party. but abby would be there, so its a good enough reason to change your mind right?

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. underage drinking, bad writing, swearing, owen ( yes i am putting him in this category ) LOTS of clichés, like, an insane amount

FLUFF.

set in a 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻!𝗮𝘂 and 𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲!𝗮𝗯𝗯𝘆 because i said so

lowercase intended, also reader as braids in this, i kinda imagined this kind

proofread : meh

𝗮𝗻. hi!! this is my first time writing/posting ever so yea, there will be mistakes and stuff but my obsession with abby took over:) i started this during lesbian visibility week, i HAD to finish it for pride month!!! i'll make two parts for this :)

this is LARGELY inspired by wish you were sober by conan gray and english is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes i'll make, anyways, hope you'll enjoy and if you do let me know<3

it was still pretty early when you decided you had to leave owen's house. she's not even here, you thought, even after being there for an hour and a half, though it felt like an eternity.

the wolves of seattle, or your highschool's hockey team, had won the biggest game of the season, and owen, a blond football player with an ego the size of the moon, had invited pretty much everyone to his house to celebrate. now normally, you'd decline politely, not being really fond of parties or owen or getting drunk or owen but your friend dina insisted.

oh c'mon, free booze, free food- do i really need to extand the list of reasons we should go?

ok, you said two things, that's not a list dee, you replied.

well, a little birdie told me that abby would be there, you know, considering she's the captain of the team and all. not that you would care, obviously...

needless to say, you never ran so fast to your closet. you had had the biggest crush on abby anderson for what felt like forever but you only found out about her existence two years ago, in tenth grade. she was already popular due to the fact that she played hockey, but that only increased with time. now, at the end of highschool, your crush grew as you and abby did, and even though you thought that you would have enough time to confess, in a few months, you'd be off to college, lips sealed and secret unrevealed.

as you got ready, the only thing that was on your mind was abby's blonde hair, her freckled skin and her large shoulders, which you'd only admire from your seat behind her in english class. the only way you'd ever indulge in your crush was from afar, scared of rejection.

and now, 2 hours later, your green top felt rough against your skin, you had to take you jacket off because it was so hot in there and your braids seemed to pull on your scalp in a much tighter way due to your annoyance. you were in the corner of owen's living room, next to the couch on which dina was seated. she's been drinking, whining about another one of your friend not being here, ellie. dina tried to convince the young girl to come to the party but ellie and abby weren't exactly on good terms after a golfing incident that ellie didn't talk about much. just as you were wondering about the feud between the two, you recognised a blonde braid flowing a few feet away. you had spent enough time analysing every inch of her to feel tingles on every bit of your body when she turned around to look right at you.

her piercing glance met your own eyes and you couldn't help but scurry away from her blue gaze by crouching directly behind the couch.

"what.. the fuck" dina sighs. she sounded dazed, undoubtedly from the shots she's been downing. jesse didn't even bother to look your way, doing heart eyes to a random girl, his infatuation for the night. however, dina had her eyes trained on you and as she quickly scanned the room, you swiftly let out :

"abby's here! oh my god, sh's actually here! dina she looked right at me!"

"well, that's why we're here right? so that you can confess your undying love for her and become her housewife"

you let out an annoyed huff, but the idea made its way into your brain and you imagined living with abby, being able to kiss her every morning and see her with her hair undone from that eternal braid of hers. you'd run your fingers through her blonde locks, untagling the occasional knots and god, you were being delusional.

"ya know, if you don't tell her, you'll never have her babies"

"you're so drunk, shut up!" you manifested your annoyance by slapping the back of her head slightly, raising your hand from your hiding spot.

"seems like i'm not the only one, look at lovergirl over there," dina slurred.

you got up and slowly, sat down next to the black-haired girl and immediately fixed your eyes on abby. she did look a bit off, you thought. some strands from her braid were framing her flushed face and her loud laugh could be heard throughout the entire living room. the room was pretty large, you and dina being on one of the many little couches that were littered accross the room. you were practically in the very back, and on the other end of the room, was standing abby in all of her glory, surrounded by her friends and being cheered on by several people in the crowd around them.

it felt like a bad movie. admiring your highschool crush from afar at a party you didn't even want to be at in someone else's house. but still, you allowed yourself to take the blonde girl in as you sighed. oh, how beautiful she was. her strong jaw was on display, allowing you to take a good look at her sharp profile and the way her broad shoulders stretched her tight shirt. you admired the way her muscles flexed with every one of her moves and how she exuded confidence and calm. you wanted to be hers so bad.

"stop drooling, go over there!"

"yeah right, i'm just gonna go over there and ask her to be my girlfriend, even tough she doesn't even know me, in front of all her friends; i'm sure that'll go well!" you sarcastically said.

"yeah i know right? that's why i suggested it silly!" dina yelped in a high pitched voice.

she looked around a bit and started tugging at your hair a little. she was intoxicated, it was obvious so you gently got up to get her water. you took the bottle of alcohol away from the table in front of the three of you, eliciting a little whine from dina. you turned towards your friend.

"i'm gonna get you some water ok? you do not move, i'll be back right away. jesse will keep an eye on you, right jess?"

"what? noooo, last time she bit me!" the boy complained loudly.

"don't get your dirty fingers close to my mouth, imbecile."

you could still hear the two of them arguing as you hurried towards the kitchen you saw on your way in. you pushed through the crowd to get to the sink, set the bottle down and it's only then that you realized that you didn't have a glass. you looked around a bit and started opening different cupboards in vain. just as you were about to give up, you felt a heavy hand graze your shoulder, followed by a voice you knew all too well, despite never talking directly to the speaker.

"are you looking for this?"

you froze.

abby anderson was standing right behind you, beer and glass in the same hand, you knew that because in addition to her voice and other hand, that was now fully on you shoulder, you could suddenly feel her warmth in your back. realising that the amount of time you spent with your back turned was becoming awkward, you suddenly spun around to face abby, and you almost stopped breathing.

from across the room, you couldn't observe her all that well but up close, you could have counted the freckles displayed on her slightly crooked nose. you could have pushed the strand of hair that was getting close to her eyelashes but the sight of her blue eyes made you feel like any movement would cause you to break. the dimly lit kitchen created a golden haze that surrounded abby, made her skin glow and brought out her freckles and in that very moment, you swore you got into heaven. she adorned a band tee that was just a little tight on her but the short sleeves allowed you to see her arm muscles flex as she moved.

she looked at you groggily, with a dazed look and a glass in her hand. she almost nudged it into you chest, which made you want to scream, but you happily took the glass.

"um, th-thank you!" you managed to mumble two words and regretted it instantly.

"you're welcome, pretty!" abby replied.

and you froze again. you were about to fill the glass with water but as those words left abby's mouth, you felt all your limbs transforming into jello.

"what did you say?" you asked in disbelief.

abby's eyes were still boring into yours, her mouth slightly agaped and you swore you could cry as she retorted :

"i called you pretty! because you are"

your eyes must have opened wide because abby suddenly looked a bit panicked.

"i'm sorry, does it bother you? i won't do it again, sorry" she scratched the back of her head.

"no!" you practically shouted. "it's ..um i mean it's completely fine"

you paused a little before adding :

"you.. well, i- i think you're really pretty too!"

you could have sighed at your fumbling but the girl's grin got bigger at your words.

"thank you! i'm abby by the way! nice to meet you __" when she said your name, you could've fainted. so many thoughts came to mind but you only managed to blink until your vision got blurry.

"i know who you are, how do you know my name?"

you didn't mean to sound rude, that probably came out the wrong way, but what the actual fuck?

"oh well, we have a few classes together. english, physics, french and-"

"maths, i know. you're two seats away from me"

oops. hope she didn't catch that.

she didn't seem to, or maybe she didn't care enough because her smile grew even more, if that was even possible. a small grin started forming on your lips but it was interrupted by a man's shadow on the two of you. owen had inserted himself close to abby, closer than you were, so much so that you felt like you could vomit just from the sight. his arm was around her shoulders and you saw her form slightly crisp for a second then slowly relax.

"hey, we missed you for a second back there! whatcha' doing here?" his loud voice made you cringe, and when he looked at you, you couldn't help but furrow your brows. you lived a few houses down, so owen was sort of your neighbor, which was appreciated when abby came over to his house and you saw her on her way. dina called it creepy stalking. she wasn't totally wrong.

"yo, __, right? having fun?"

the sound of your name in his mouth sent a new wave of nausea through your body but you decided to behave. after all, it was his house, his party, his friend.

"uh yeah sure, it's a great party owen. i came with a few friends and- oh shit!" you exclaimed.

dina was still waiting for her much needed glass of water, all alone, with drunk jesse as her only companion. fuck.

you quickly turned around to fill the long forgotten glass of water and excused yourself to the pair.

"i'm sorry, i have to give this to my friend, was nice though, bye abby!"

"bye pretty!" the girl replied as she waved her hand at you.

the nickname made you weak on your knees, which was not ideal when you had to push through a crowd of drunk people. you looked back at the kitchen, seeing abby get owen's arm away from her shoulders. you grinned before continuing your trip over to dina. you were relieved once you heard the bickering of your two friends again, assuming they probably argued the whole time you were with abby. oh god, you actually talked to abby.

"that was definitely not right back by the way, i think i had time to sober up completely" dina sluggishly stated. just as she said this, she knocked over a couple plastic cups on the table. she slowly looked up at you, accepted the glass of water you inched towards her and drank it as she looked away.

"i called an uber, its a few minutes away" jesse, who was still sat next to dina, handed you his phone for you to note the car's travel.

"great, awesome let's um, let's get out of here"

dina quickly finished her cup, and got up, you immediately went to slip your shoulder under her own, carrying a part of her body weight to keep her from stumbling all over the sticky floor. jesse gathered everyone's belongings and followed after the two of you and being less intoxicated than dina, his step was much firmer.

"you're such a lightweight dee," the boy snorted.

the black haired girl flipped him off as she looked his way, and chuckled before standing straighter, pushing through the crowd with more confidence.

"i'm not even drunk, you di- oh shit, sorry!"

"no, no don't worry that's my bad"

it's like you summoned her. technically, dina was the one who bumped into abby but still, the blonde girl was looking at you, right now. she waved again, despite the fact that you were a few feet away from her. you waved back and as you did so, you could feel dina's confused look going between the two of you, before locking her squinted eyes on you.

"oh you two already know each other?" she asked, in disbelief. you opened wide eyes in her direction at the question but rapidly looked back at abby.

"yeah, um, i mean we talked a little in the kitchen like 5 minutes ago"

"mhm and she called me pretty" abby added in a high pitched voice.

sudenly both dina and jesse were looking at you with wide eyes and sligthly open mouths. dina was the first one to tease.

"is that so?" she emphasised every word with a big smile plastered on her face. she was proud of you, truly but the fact that she was drunk altered her reactions.

"ooh so that is what took you so long. you were getting to know each other" jesse agitated finger guns in your side as you tried to keep eye contact with abby. as difficult as it already was, her dopey smile made you feel dizzy in the best way possible and you knew you'd get teased afterwards when abby talked again

"yeah i'd really like to do that. get to know you, i mean"

she said that so casually you almost had topinch yourself to believe it wasn't a dream. once again your eyes got a little wider, which didn't go unnoticed by dine, who snorted quietly. it felt so sweet that you almost forgot you were at a crowed party, close to the door and the stairs in one of the most packed areas of the house, and your carelessness was rewarded by having a drink spilt all over your shirt as some guy bumped into you. the green top you adorned turned dark and the strong smell of alcohol made you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"hey, watch where you're going man!" dina's brows furrowed as she got in between the two of you. the drunk guy mumbled an apology but he rapidly faded in the crowd and disappeared as quickly as he entered the frame. the humid feeling on your chest, however, was still very present and you peeled your wet top off your body with a worried expression.

"fuck" the smell of alcohol clung to your skin and made it's way to your nostrils, causing you to scrunch your face in disgust. abby let out a light chuckle at the sight of your grimace and when you heard her, you didn't care about your wet shirt or the music that was blasting in your ears or the fact that a few minutes ago, you felt as if you were about to burst because of overstimulation.

abby's laugh fixed it.

you were down monstrously bad.

"i um, i have a shirt in my car if you want. wet fabric is the worst feeling ever."

"uhh i don't know, i should go with dina, she's a bit drunk and-" you were interrupted by your friend.

"nahh me? i'm as sober as a judge" loudly declared the black haired girl. as she did so, she let go of jesse's arm and managed to walk a few meters in an approximatively straight line before turning back to your group with a large smile on her face and her arms in the hair, demonstrating her exploit.

"take the shirt, get some time to chat amongst yourselves and jesse and i, we'll be on our merry way" she gripped the boy by the arm she was previously holding onto, and walked to the door with her back turned to it, facing you and abby.

you hurried to her side to whisper scream in her ear "what are you doing? are you really gonna leave me alone? with abby?!"

"hey calm down yeah? just take the shirt and her number, emphasis on number. because stalking her instagram without even following her is not gonna get you anywhere."

"yea i know but-"

"no buts. you go get that shirt and her number. if you don't, i'll be under your bed tonight"

"how old are you?"

"stop being a coward. text me when you get home okay? i want details."

dina kissed your cheek and gave you aa encouraging look before glancing over at jesse, who had a dopey smile plastered on his face. she let out a little sigh before moving her head towards the entrance. he followed her after giving you a little hug and soon enough, they were walking out the door after giving you a little wave.

you caught a glimpse of them bickering in the uber and as the car drove away, you realized abby was still standing a few meters away from you. you turned around to find her in the same spot, right behind you with a light smile and rosy cheeks. she rummaged trough the pocket of her black jeans to get her car keys out of it.

"if you still want that shirt.."

"sure! is your car close?"

"yeah, it's just in front"

the two of you walked to the door, pushing people away a few times, and as soon as you got out of the house, the cold wind hit your face with force. the refreshing feeling made you inhale and fill your lungs with oxygen, savoring the new sensation. you closed your eyes and for a second, the only other existing being was abby. she stood right next to you and if you weren't so engulfed by the fresh air on your face, maybe you could've noticed the way she looked at you.

maybe you'd have noticed how she always blushed when you looked her way or how she was shaking before every single french class because that's when you're the closest to her, just one seat away. and technically, abby could move closer to you but she didn't want to risk passing off as a creep. so she just kept her eyes trained on your silouhette, your hair, your hands whe she'd get glimpses of them from behind you. abby was beginning to get lost in her thoughts of you, so much so that she almost forgot why the two of you were outside, together. as if you could hear her thoughts, you reminded her.

"which one's your car?"

you obviously knew what car abby drove, it was the same one you'd look for every morning in the parking lot and when you saw the grey range rover, your heart lept out of your chest for a second. but abby couldn't know that. she led you to her car and you were perplexe when she followed you to the passenger side, only for her to open the car door for you. you blinked a few times before processing what she did, and the whole time she just stared at you, giving you a little nod to encourage you to get in.

you sat in the passenger seat, abby closed the door and went to the trunk of her car. she retrieved a black muscle tee from it, got in the car and froze. you were in her car. so close she could smell your perfume. you smelled like jasmin and, was that vanilla? abby could never tell. not even after she looked down at the shirt in her hands and turned her head to you, handing you the item. this time, you noticed the slight shaking of her hands and as you took the shirt, your hads brushed. the contact felt like touching an exposed wire, fire pouring into your veins and at this very moment,

you were so glad you went to this party.

an. okkk so this might be a bit short but i really wanted to at least share one part!!

LOTS of incoherence and clichés but i mean.. anything for abby am i right?? i don't know if i hate it or love it but its still my first child

tell me if you like it <3

✰﹣𝔰𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯𝔟𝔞𝔤

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #the last of us #abby anderson x black!reader #black reader #tlou2 #wlw #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson fanfic #abby anderson the last of us #lesbian #lesbian pride #abby anderson x female reader

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hamliet · 1 year

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Hi! By any chance have you read the novels? If so, what is your favourite and what are your thoughts on team CFVY and on Gill and Jax? Thank you!

Hi! I have, recently in fact!

Firstly, I really, really loved Roman Holiday. It's excellently written, quite thematic, the Jungian symbolism is strong, and it fleshes out both Neo's and Roman's characters in compelling ways. They're highly sympathetic, but not heroes in disguise. The story did a great job of balancing their framing in this. And they were just a delight to read--each had their own voice.

As for the other books, I quite liked Before the Dawn, and After the Fall was okay, but both were more... what I expected? from spin-off light novels as opposed to Roman Holiday, which was again, excellent. I think there is room for another novel, because some of the loose ends of Before the Dawn were not tied up (namely, Gill and Jax, and Lily; plus, some of the characters' arcs weren't completed).

I really liked Sun and Velvet's dynamic in Before the Dawn, and I think I kinda ship them haha. They challenge each other, and unlike everyone else--especially her team, cough cough--when Sun sees Velvet knocked unconscious, he thinks that he doesn't like seeing her looking fragile, that it's not natural to see her look fragile. In other words, he respects her strength.

I also really enjoyed Scarlet's exploration and his romance with Nolan, which works from a thematic and character perspective because getting with the guy who ran and lost his entire team is a good symbol for Scarlet coming to terms with Sun's abandonment, which he starts off the novel very angry about.

What follows is some criticism, mostly of the two "Vacuo/CFVY" novels. Roman Holiday gets a 5/5 from me.

I do NOT understand why the team infantilizes Velvet so much? Like. Was there an event that sparked this? Is it just because she's a faunus I presume, or her semblance, but like... it still feels a little illogical and like a severe overreaction to me.

But as a whole, Team CFVY is... kind of not well done? I'm not talking about the individual characters here, because I love Velvet and quite liked Yatsu and Fox as well, but instead saying that we are told things about the team that the narrative never shows us any reason to believe, yet clearly frames it as "you should believe this." I actually think it's a weak writing point. For example, we're often told that they are on par with Team RWBY and prodigies, except we are never shown this. We're also constantly told Coco is a good leader, and I have yet to see evidence of this. I see a lot of evidence to the contrary, in fact, and though we're told her failures are rare, we never see her really making good leadership choices.

I actually really dislike Coco's character. She reads like "badass self-insert: the character" and is clearly fan pandering and to a degree that is fine, but I'd argue she just isn't well-written. Her backstory about being trauma from being locked in a closet is very on-the-nose as a metaphor--but homophobia isn't really presented as a problem within RWBY's world. So clearly it reads as something designed to wink at fans, which is not itself a problem. Where the problem lies is that I'm left asking "So what?" So... why does this matter? What does this backstory have to do with Coco's character in any way? What is she afraid of facing? What is she locked in emotionally? Clearly it's not the metaphor about being in the closet, because she's a proud lesbian and as mentioned, homophobia's never really been a thing there thank God, so what's the deal with making that her backstory? Thus far, it has no purpose beyond winking at the audience, and that's just not great or deep writing when compared to everyone else's backstories.

But wait, there's more! If Coco is intended to be a vehicle for fans to project onto them, why is she so rude, cocky, and frankly mean? She's just not a nice person. And why is that somehow framed as cool and even admirable in the book, when it's just... not? She doesn't really get called out on her snobbery in the same way, say, Weiss does. I mean you COULD make a meta reason about the fandom in regards to this but I genuinely do not think it's deliberate. I honestly find Coco insufferable.

Lastly, Jax and Gill.

I'm a l'il sensitive and grumpy about twin stuff, so good twin/bad twin was always gonna irk me lol. That said, I do think the idea behind it--kind of enmeshed/codependent relationships--was one that could work, but didn't quite get there.

I also really did not like how the characters--particularly the adults--spoke about Jax. I get that Vacuo has unique views on survival and what makes life worth living but... it really was kinda framed like Jax was just a bad seed from the beginning. You could've at least thrown a couple "hm, wonder why he turned out that way" or other such internal comments from our protagonists if you wanted to frame it critically, but... it wasn't framed critically, which makes it good twin/bad twin and provides a rather simplistic answer that I didn't find satisfying.

#rwby #rwby novels #ask hamliet #i am tempted to tag?#probably shouldn't #not worth it

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manonamora-if-reviews · 1 year

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Pageant by Autumn Chen

============= Links

Play the game See other reviews of the game See other games by Autumn or follow her @cyberpunklesbian

============= Synopsis

Your name is Qiuyi (Karen?) Zhao, and you’ve just been signed up by your parents for a beauty pageant. You’re not ready, not even close, but you don’t have a choice. But perhaps you can make the best of it. Maybe it’s the one opportunity to create a “hook” for your college application. Maybe you can reinvent yourself, get rid your anxiety and become someone new. Or maybe you can find true love (or some approximation thereof).

============= Other Info

Pageant is a Dendry* game, first published in 2018 and completed in 2020. *Autumn is also an unofficial maintainer of the Dendry format.

Status: Completed Genre: Dating-sim, Slice-of-life, LGBT

CW: / Note: homo/trans-phobia, talks of suicide, passing out from exhaustion, anxiety.

============= Playthrough

First Played: Some time in 2022? Last Played: 27-May-2023 Playtime: around +2h(-ish) - two proper playthroughs Rating: 5 /5 Thoughts: Winning the pageant is not everything, but the journey is worth the anxiety.

============= Review

Pageant follows Qiuyi (Karen) Zhao (mentioned as Karen below), a Chinese teenager living in the US, as she navigates through school and extra-curriculars, relationships and identity, family expectations and community, and the pageant her parents signed up for. Through limited storylets choice, you can carve Karen's priorities and relationships.

Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.

Did I once again read the Post-Mortem before writing this? Yes. Couldn't help myself. Also this is a bit more eclectic, tried hard to put my thoughts in order, didn't workl...

Pageant was created with Dendry, a storylet narrative program, where the player get to experience linear side-stories in fragmented way. Every week, the player can pick up to three options from the storylet lists to start or continue a path. As the list is often longer than three options, the player is forced to make choices and prioritise a certain path (a recurring gameplay type in Autumn's games). This makes for great and interesting replayability!

The story start with Karen being summoned by her parents, revealing that they signed her up for a pageant, happening in three months. There is no bargaining no quitting (it's good for college apps!). In three months, Karen will be on that podium*. During that prep period, she still needs to balance school (a full AP curriculum), the Science Olympiad, doing an understudy with a college professor (also set up by your parents), having dinner with your family, going to bible study on the weekend, and etc... Doesn't this sound like too much for a high school student? And was it yet mentioned that Karen is a socially awkward mess, who has trouble making relationships, is full of anxiety and self-loathing, struggling with her identity as a Chinese teenager in the US (her used name not being her birthname, and having the option to butcher your name's pronunciation) and a closeted lesbian (or something like that says the game). *well, there is a way.

Along the way you are introduced to a handful of characters: Emily, a trans woman still in the closet, Aubrey, a girl Karen had a crush on also part of the Science Olympiad team, and Miri, Karen's only friend. There is also Karen's parents and her little brother, Kevin; Professor Chen and his grad student; the rest of the Science Olympiad Team; and the other families attending the Church. Through out the game (and your choices) you get to learn more about these characters, like how Emily deals with her family's trans/homophobia, or Miri's feelings towards you, your family's history...* The storylets really shine here, giving you crumbles here and there, forcing you to piece those back together (and forces you down a certain path to learn everything). *Even after playing multiple times, I have yet to found all variations.

And at the centre of it all, Karen, the very flawed teenager. Yet, even with her self-deprecation and anxious spirals, with the awkward way she interacts with other people, with dealing with different cultural values and expectations about her life, or with her inability to stand up to herself (partly because of her guilt of "having it easy" compared to older generations), Karen stays a character you want to root for. You want to help her win that pageant and be more sure of herself. You want her to be more confident in her identity (and get a girlfriend). You want her to find her passions (in science?) and win accolades. You want to pluck her from her stressful world, wrap her in a blanket, kiss her on her forehead, and tell her that everything will be ok.

The whole game is filled with such genuine interactions, with teenagers blurting out their deepest secrets to strangers, declaring their love to one another even after but a few meetings, being self-loathing with a self they don't recognise or don't want to be anymore but unable to leave that shell, trying to handle the stress and anxiety of the expectations of others and not being able to reach those. And those are made all the more vibrant through Karen's inability to react "properly". Faced with bad and worse choices, you get to experience that anxiety of what would happen if I say or do the wrong thing. It feels genuine, because it feels real and lived through.

As the ending came around, and you get the rundown of Karen's actions, it felt like, while winning the pageant is definitely one/the goal, the journey was much sweeter than the destination. And that's what keeps making me want to come back to it...

Some other notes:

The visual of Dendry is quite reminiscent of ChoiceScript games, with its simple and contrasting colours and choice box or its achievements list; as well as Ink games in the story/storylets parts, as the text linked to the chosen option is appended to the main body, breaking only when the storylet ends and you need to pick another one or the story needs a break. It's honestly fun to see how two program can be merged (visually) and work this way.

There's kind of a fun parallel between Pageant and Great-grandmother and the war in the way the characters of Karen and Emily are portrayed similarly to Zhang and Yan. The first is socially awkward, introverted and filled with anxiety; the second is out-going, harbouring a secret, and yearning to live their truth. But this is only obvious if you do interact with Emily in this game.

#Pageant #Autumn Chen #complete #interactive fiction #2020 #review #LGBT #romance #slice of life #dendry game #choice based

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tattlesandtales · 6 months

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Character Cast: Canon Characters

(All characters operate within the multi-verse and multi-ship ideology. AUs and timeline diversion is welcome. I do not write in or with the Harry Potter universe.)

I am willing to use canon characters in your universes/outside of their canon stories/relationships/etc if you like the sound of them based on the following bios, even if you don't know of them.

All For The Game (book series)

Aaron Minyard: an identical twin who didn't know about said twin until his teen years, considering Andrew had been given up to the foster system as a new-born. Raised by an abusive mother, he turned to drugs and sport to get out of home. He thought he had it covered until the twin he'd never heard of was brought into his life and his home and set the world on fire. Aaron wants to move on with his life with as little drama as he can and get through college and medical school, but he's stuck in sport team that attracts drama, he's got little hope of that. he/him, bisexual, 20+.

Alison Reynolds: a pretty, blonde socialite that craved and excelled in rough and tumble athleticism and was ex-communicated by her family when she chose to follow the sport to college instead of keeping a pretty and sweet reputation and keeping up with the family trade of hotels. Alison has some poor coping skills, and a quiet desperation to be loved for who she is no matter what that love looks like, and despite not wanting to go pro with athletics, she does want to do well with it in college. she/her, bisexual, 22+.

Andrew Minyard: the twin who was given up at birth, Andrew had a really rough start to life with foster homes, and every kind of abuse imaginable to man. All he wanted was a family, and even when he thought he had found one, it came with horrors and crimes against him you cannot imagine. Andrew buried himself, and his pain, and his fears, deep inside himself until he became a shell of a man. Finding his birth mother and his twin brother by accident wasn't what he was planning, but it was the best he had, even if the only thing he could do was kill his mom for his and his brother's safety. With the help of their older cousin, Andrew gets all three of them to college in one piece and will do everything in his power to make sure they stay that way. he/him, closeted gay, 20+.

Renee Walker: she didn't mean to fall into a gang, but as a child in an unloving and neglectful home, it seemed inevitable that she find her own community. Unfortunately, the young girl known as Natalie was repeatedly assaulted by someone in the gang who took vengeance into her own hands and called it justice. Natalie ended up in juvie, but made a deal to give up her parents for a better sentence, and her mother and stepfather were murdered in jail by gang members Natalie helped put away. She was released into foster care, and bounced around until a lovely woman took her in, gave her faith, changed her name and gave her a fresh start. Renee took to her new life with vigour and determination, and rode it all the way to college on a sport's scholarship where she is the voice of reason and calm in a storm of drama. she/her, lesbian, 25+

Yellowjackets (TV series)

Vanessa "Van" Palmer (young): navigating high school in the late 90s as a closeted lesbian is hard enough without having a drunk for a mother and the weight of your soccer team's expectations on your shoulders as their goal keeper. Making it to nationals undefeated in her senior year was definitely on her bucket list, but the plane crashing in the Canadian mountainside on the way was certainly not. With nineteen months until rescue (unbeknownst to the team), and the threat of a Canadian winter baring down on them, the team has to survive the wilderness, and Van will do whatever it takes to survive, even if the wilderness tries at every turn to make sure she doesn't.

Vanessa "Van" Palmer (adult)*: the definition of 'I didn't die when I should have died' and all the feelings that comes with it, plagues Van in her adult life. Not only did she survive the initial plane crash, she survived being stuck in her seat and left for dead inside it's burning shell afterwards as well. Surviving the 19 months, the horrors and the snow and the wolf attack that tore through the left side of her face, as well as the heartbreak and reintegration back into society wasn't enough. Van had to face cancer with a slim percentage of survival, alone, in her adult life, and came through the other side alive, with only an addiction to opiates as a side effect. Van, still dressing like a 17 year old masc lesbian in the nineties, runs a video store that is a safe haven for queer people in the city she moved to. In her free time, she digitises the VHS tapes and dances alone to music she used to love. She abhors Facebook and social media, doesn't care for mobile phone technology, and misses the time when she actually believed in happiness.

*timeline diverts from canon at the end of season 2, and can divert earlier if you wish.

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survivedsarchived · 1 year

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a paul headcanon dump <3

has three sisters and two brothers (who are twins). he's the baby of the family.

it's painful for me to say, but i don't think he's a soccer guy. he's familiar with popular teams and players and can talk about the sport, but he doesn't enjoy playing/watching too much. he did a season in a youth league as a kid, but he's a baseball & basketball guy. he played the latter in middle school, but wasn't too good; he switched to baseball in high school, and excelled, but he always knew he wanted to pursue an english degree + be a writer, so he didn't concern himself too much with sports.

but he does love being active and doing sport things. he's such an outdoors guy. he likes hiking, skiing, camping, playing basketball with some friends on weekends.

he's very flamboyant and loud and isn't afraid to let people know he's gay, despite the time period. he's been out to his family since like, 13.

one of his sisters is a lesbian.

he didn't grow up with any sort of religion. he doesn't consider himself an atheist, though. if he has to put it into a word, he considers himself "open." he enjoys learning about various religions, but doesn't actually believe in any of them himself - but he likes seeing other people practice their faith. he doesn't believe there's nothing out there - but he doesn't know what is.

he loves horror movies even though they give him so much anxiety. (he had a week-long panic attack after watching alien.)

he's allergic to dogs.

he loves jewelry. he has a large collection of rings, but he can't wear from for long periods of time, because he gets anxiety when his fingers feel "constrained" for too long.

he annotates every book he reads. he highlights, he writes notes. he bends the spines. he dogears pages. all of them are full of sticky notes. sorry if that bothers you <3

he loves puzzle books. crosswords, sudoku, etc. he has stacks of completed ones in his room, in closets. he's not so great at throwing them away.

he bleached his hair blonde once in college and immediately regretted it, then shaved it.

he loves photography. he has a little camera collection. if you're his friend, he will annoy you by taking photographs.

#yes i'm way too invested in a character who spends 99% of his screentime in hallucinations. anyway #paul.#meta: paul.

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blackbird-brewster · 2 years

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Let Me Down Slowly: A Jemily Drabble

Emily had only been on the team for a few months and she and JJ had already been dating for two of them. It started when the team had been on a difficult case and JJ and Emily had both felt emotionally charged when they got to the hotel one night after a week of hitting dead ends. They had been talking before they went to bed and JJ made the first move. JJ kissed Emily and everything else simply fell into place. That was two months ago but the team still didn’t know. Emily was sure she was fine that JJ wanted to hide their relationship.

Emily had never tried to conceal the fact she was a lesbian but JJ, on the other hand, was still quite closeted. Per JJ’s request, Emily agreed to keep their relationship a secret from the team. At first it had been nearly impossible for them to stay away from each other at work, but they had turned it into a game. The rules were simple: try to stealthily turn each other on under the team’s noses. This had led to many nights of passion once they hit their hotel room. They always volunteered to room together while in the field, which made it all too easy for them to fool around unnoticed. Emily was sure their arrangement was worth the secrets.

The team was working a case in New Orleans the first time JJ (and subsequently Emily) met William LaMontange Jr. It didn’t take a profiler to instantly recognise the way JJ took notice of Will. It was the first time Emily felt doubt in her relationship with JJ. Emily had always had low self-confidence in her relationships but JJ had made Emily work so hard to do better. So she pushed her uncertainty aside and convinced herself that Will was unimportant. JJ made Emily feel like the most important person in the world, so anyone else was inconsequential. She kept reminding herself that although they hadn’t said it in so many words — Emily was sure she and JJ were completely and utterly in love.

Eight months later, Emily and JJ had celebrated their one year anniversary. The entire team knew about their relationship by then and everything felt right. JJ was everything Emily had ever wanted in a partner. They were deeply in love and JJ was Emily’s everything. Emily was sure she and JJ were heading to a happy future together.

If Emily had to pinpoint the moment she and JJ’s relationship started to crumble, she would say it was the second they arrived in Miami only to run into Detective Will LaMontange again. Emily had completely forgotten about him after their first meeting a year earlier. But as soon JJ and Will greet each other again, she felt that long dormant doubt in the pit of her stomach. Emily was sure she was just overreacting.

After the case, Emily instinctively knew that things had changed in JJ. Something about the way Will and JJ had talked to each other, had made Emily take notice. Anyone and everyone flirted with JJ, Emily was used to that part, that wasn’t inherently the issue. Emily’s doubt spurred not from the way Will flirted with JJ but from the way JJ happily reciprocated. Suddenly, Emily wasn’t so sure about her relationship with JJ.

After Miami, their relationship started to feel strained. It had started slowly, with small cracks in their foundation. Emily had tried to write it off in the beginning because wilful ignorance was much easier to handle than admitting she and JJ were falling apart. JJ began hiding their relationship in front of the team, even though everyone had known they were dating. She would find ways to be apart from Emily at work and would pull away from Emily’s casual contact in front of their friends. Then JJ began to pull away when they were alone as well. And by the time Emily recognised the pause JJ took every time she said ‘I love you too’ it was too late. Emily wasn’t sure if she and JJ could reconcile.

They stayed together for six months longer; whether it was out of convenience or desperation, Emily couldn’t say. Some part of her had clung to the hope they’d work things out. But realistically, she knew that their relationship had ended long before JJ made it official. They had grown apart and Emily couldn’t even remember the last time she had felt happy with JJ. Nevertheless, it still destroyed her the day JJ said she was done. Emily wasn’t sure if she would ever heal after their break up.

Eighteen months. That’s how long Emily Prentiss had been in love with her girlfriend, ex-girlfriend she reminded herself. At the time she hadn’t put all the pieces together but in hindsight it felt obvious. Will moved to DC a month after JJ broke up with Emily and they began to date. Emily still loved JJ and she wanted to trust when JJ had said nothing ever happened with Will while she was still with Emily. But Emily wasn’t entirely sure she believed that.

Before dating JJ, Emily had never considered ‘settling down’. She had never considered buying a house, getting married and having kids. But when she was with JJ, her hesitancy towards ‘settling down’ had changed. Emily was certain that if JJ had ever asked her to, Emily would have married her in an instant. But JJ never asked Emily. A couple of years later, JJ did ask Will and he said yes. Emily wasn’t sure she could stay any longer.

Emily didn’t tell anyone until the day before her flight to London. JJ and Will were getting married and Emily had to leave because it was far too painful to watch Will take on the role Emily had imagined herself in. She accepted the job in London and planned her entire move in secret. It was one thing to not tell the team but Emily hadn’t even given JJ advance warning — because despite the pain and heartache…

Emily was sure if JJ had asked her to, she would have stayed.

#Criminal minds #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily #Cm fic #Drabble #my fic

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darling-blurbs · 2 years

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I watched Wednesday when it came out, I watched the TikTok’s, read the tumblr posts, and I gotta say… Is this twilight all over again?

Now I have my favorite ships, my least favorite ships, but I don’t like the whole Team Tyler vs Team Xavier. Did we not learn anything from Twilight? When I was talking to a friend, they brought it up and I agreed.

Keep in mind that I am asexual, I love Xavier, and I have been watching Addams family content since I was a little kid. I had a massive crush on Wednesday when I was little and saw us as alike. Hell I dressed up as her for an entire month before my mom told me to stop.

Wednesday has always made me feel seen as someone who is confused when it came to emotions because that’s what she is, confused about certain emotions. She feels the need to conceal them to the point where she is numb. Which is part of why I hate this “THIS SHIP HAS TO BE ENDGAME.” Like no. I’ve seen Endgame. Not a great thing tbh. Jokes aside, I don’t want Wednesday to date at all. She feels good as a stand alone character. Having Enid as her soulmate is possible but she is at best a demiromantic. I don’t think she even liked Tyler romantically but was curious.

Continuing this, I like Tyler with Xavier if either HAS to be with someone. They are both insanely misogynistic and feel like Wednesday owes them and it felt like, in one scene, that Tyler was basically calling her stupid not seeing his hints.

Now I love Xavier. I’m actually writing a fanfiction with my own OC but I will say that despite the fact I think he is great, he doesn’t love Wednesday. Nor does Tyler. Tyler made me feel like he was trying to win something. (Love him still though). Xavier made me feel like he was owed Wednesday’s love. Especially when he got all pissy at the Dance scene.

I like Enid and Ajax together. They are really sweet and anyone who complains about how “Enid is lesbian!” Enid is Pansexual and so is Ajak (both are headcanons but I see it a lot).

Now that my complaining is out of the way: my actual headcanons

Tyler is closeted homophobic bisexual leaning towards girls.

Xavier reads as someone who has a homophobic father but is bisexual.

Wednesday is Demiromantic Asexual but still figuring herself out

Enid doesn’t like labels but will say she is under the pan umbrella

Ajax would agree

Bianca is a siren plus her mother feels homophobic but still a siren so genderfluid pansexual

And Yoko is Asexual Lesbian/Pan with a preference for girls :)

All in all, this is a silly show with fictional characters. I would be annoyed if Wednesday started dating Xavier but it is ultimately not my decision.

#wednesday #sorry this is rambly #rambles #wednesday netflix

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hgentertainment · 2 years

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Actually Positive LGBT Representation

It is hard to determine what representation is positive and what isn’t. My criteria is that it doesn’t perpetuate a harmful stereotype and doesn’t seem shoe horned into the show. If the LGBT character is naturally ebbed within the narrative and is not offensive then it is fair game.

Todd Chavez

Bojack Horseman

There isn’t a lot of asexual representation within media, so Todd coming out as ace in Bojack Horseman was extremely shocking. There are quite a few LGBT characters in Bojack, and most of them having their sexuality be the minor aspect of their character (aside from Herb Kazaaz), but Todd’s coming out was so heartwarming, especially when Bojack accepted him with no judgement.

The show goes out of its way to introduce more asexual characters. As well, it provides a nice storyline discussing how even though you have your sexuality in common, that doesn’t mean you are meant to be life partners. That moral seems as if it is self explanatory, yet I feel it’s a message people tend to forget.

Robin Buckley

Stranger Things

Robin feels like the quintessential lesbian. If you want a good, well rounded, LGBT character looking at how Robin is written is one of the first places to start. She’s witty, and driven, and extremely intelligent. She’s a character where her sexuality is placed on the back burner in terms of what is actually important about her, and yet it is still extremely important.

Her coming out scene is almost excruciating. You can see her face twist in obvious discomfort as Steve describes his crush which is very clearly her. You can tell she is dreading the moment she has to tell Steve the truth, and that is something a lot of LGBT people can relate to, despite who you are coming out to. The unrequited love she describes for Tammy is absolutely heart wrenching and all too relatable. And the scene that follows is absolutely adorable, and Robin feels safe with Steve.

Eric Effiong

Sex Education

When watching Sex Education for the first time I was instantly drawn to Eric. It seemed simple enough, gay kid in a religious household. The first season plays into a lot of tropes with gay men, hooking up with your bully is a huge one.

The show then progresses through this, and Eric’s relationships are written like any other kids in a teen drama. He’s written like a kid trying to explore what love is and that is exactly what he is doing. His analogy to wanting to fly and explore himself now that he’s finally out of the closet is almost beautiful. He understood he was trapped in a relationship he settled for and understands now that they are in different places in life.

Alex Nunez

Degrassi: The Next Generation

There is quite a lot of LGBT representation in Degrassi, and some of it is better than others. But I think it is best shown in the relationship between Paige and Alex. Alex was already an established character by the time her and Paige started their relationship. We saw Alex grow and have one of the best character arcs within the first 6 seasons. She went from threatening to out Marco to his parents, to screaming to Jay “I’m a lesbian, a full blown lesbian who just broke up with her first girlfriend and it sucks.”

Paige and Alex weren’t romanticized either. They had struggles, some real ones, and their love was not enough to keep them together. That is raw and authentic.

Raine Whispers

The Owl House

The Owl House is another show filled to the brim with positive LGBT representation, but my standout is Raine. Non-Binary representation is difficult to do correctly, one of the reasons Yael from Degrassi is not featured on this list. Their relationship with Eda is raw and authentic and absolutely soul crushing to watch.

One of the important things about Raine is their strength and strong will which is brought out by Eda. The status of Raine is unknown, which does knock them down a little bit, but I cannot fault them for that. Just the writing team for doing them so dirty.

Jules Vaugn

Euphoria

Jules is so important because of how her peers perceive her. She is seen as a woman by the other women in the show, there is no dissonance just because she is trans. The breaking of that separation is a huge milestone for trans teens, especially with the actress Hunter Schafer being a trans woman as well. While Jules is relatively privileged, she is still positive representation for the trans teens watching Euphoria.

Within the first season Jules is an angel, she floats effortlessly from scene to scene. Watching her is like watching a dream on screen. She’s a multidimensional teenager like the rest of the cast. Her narrative goes beyond her transition or her coming out. She can tell a story without the whole purpose of it being that she is transgender.

#lgbt #hanna says things #bojack horseman #stranger things #sex education #degrassi #the owl house #euphoria

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lapis-lazuliie · 10 months

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i would love to hear your thoughts on the gay representation in ‘the referees a w***er’ (unless you’ve done so already) - would you see it as decent representation? bc i am undecided but definitely leaning towards no (considering their relationship is a secret and are both outed during the episode) but maybe it’s the best of a bad bunch?

firstly; before i get to answering your question, i just want to quickly establish the reason for there being a gay couple in the episode in the first place; because it's one thing to have LGBT rep in your show, but it's another thing entirely in how you handle it

secondly; i don't know anything about football, and though i've seen this ep a handful of times and read explanations from people of what it's about, i still don't understand it 🥲 but i did understand the love story and martins character. so this response is going to be mainly focused on that, which means i'll most likely get some things wrong ( please don't hesitate to correct me lol )

so homophobia is very rampant within male sports teams — football specifically, with justin fashanu being the first openly gay player in the history of premier football — and the lads wanted to touch on that by having the main character, martin, be a closeted gay man who was in a secret relationship with the opposing teams referee, calvin; the entire episodes focus on football is merely a backdrop to the real story — the relationship between martin & calvin. it's what drives martin to do what he did; he sacrificed himself and his lover being outed, thus ending their relationship ( among other things ), but he still got what he wanted; his team winning

to date, martin & calvin have been only 2/3 of the most well written ( being generous here ) LGBT characters steve & reece have ever had on the show ( the other being callum in merrily merrily ); neither of them follow the set rules the lads have given themselves in regards to how they write LGBT characters, whether they're openly gay or queer coded, the main character is an explicitly ( yet closeted, until outed ) gay man, and the relationship is treated with a tender and honest hand; it's clear steve & reece did want to shove their usual list aside to get this right

however

knowing their track record when it comes to LGBT rep, and their unwillingness to address the ( at most ) questionable things they've written, this is the bare minimum to me; it isn't great, but it's still passable for their standards

but considering how far we've come where we can have an openly bisexual teenager be in a healthy and loving relationship with a lesbian teenager in a children's cartoon, along with the explicit queer representation in ofmd and heartstopper, there is no reason or excuse for the lads to not be on similar par with their own representation

they still insist on writing a very specific queer rep that drives the narrative they're trying to tell, rather than just having an LGBT character exist within the story itself. while martin & calvin's relationship is merely a drop in the ocean of bare minimum representation, it's still exactly that. and that's not something to be praised

#thank you so much <3 i really enjoyed typing this out #anonymous #ask #in9

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rainbowpotatocakes21 · 4 years

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I'm so fucking tired of being in the closet but despite feeling so open and so ready to be out, every time I have a chance I choke on the words, say some vague bullshit, or straight up avoid the question and it sucks because how do you learn to stop fearing rejection from the people you love

#its not like ive had bad experiences coming out either #but its like the fear that ive felt overwhelms the support ive gotten #like when i think about when i came out to my dad my first thought is always about the tears and the shakiness and the crushing anxiety #and my dad was nothing but supportive #everyone who knows is so supportive #but the more i think about just making one big 'surprise im gay' post the more i remember anything mildly homophobic that friends/family or #even strangers have done/said and i cant do it #like i could live with just my dad/sister being ok with me #hell i could live with having to get all new friends at school (tho i doubt i would have to get an entire new friend group)#but then i think about my team and its like how do i deal with their rejection? how can i be the one they trust to make the right calls #if they hate who i am? and like ik softball players are a lesbian stereotype but id be the first out player i know #and then i spiral and think about being the first out person in my entire family and if they turn their backs on me who do i have?#FUCK im spiralling #also i kinda want to write about my experiences as growing up in the closet in the midwest in a kinda religious family #but idk if that would make me feel better or worse #anyway advice would be appreciated #if you read even half of this crazy stream of thoughts mad respect #adventures of a closeted gay

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widow-maximov · 3 years

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I'll be your knight

Pairing: Natasha x Fem Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: Dealing with sexism is a real struggle but eventually a line is crossed and anger is unleashed.

A/n: This is my first time writing smut so hopefully it's good enough :3

Word count: 3.5k

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

Being an Avenger isn't easy, especially for any women that join the life style of a hero. You had to put up with sexist comments all the time, most of the time it didn't really bother you but the more you heard random men talking about your best friend like she was some toy, the more it annoyed you.

The comments towards you stopped when you were recruited by Tony Stark, there was some level respect for you and you kind of liked it.

You had some issues with opening up to the team but when Wanda, showed you they are harmless, you slowly opened up more and more as you knew that they were going to be your new family from now on.

Everyone on the team warned you about the one particular redhead but you didn't listen, you wanted to be her friend, she looked scary but is an actual softie, but only around you.

It took time for the Russian to even greet you when she saw you but for you it was worth it, you respected her and always been there for her when she had no one to turn to.

She warmed up to you as she saw the security you were offering her, and you never backed down from your offer, she wasn't keen on your presence but had to learn to accept it.

Even if she didn't trust you fully, that was okay. You trusted her with everything because you knew she was a human just like you and no doubt needed someone to lean on.

⸻⸻⋙☸Flashback☸⋘⸻⸻

You walked around, exploring the place that now it was your new home, you never saw anything more fancy than this place, the room you were staying in was more than enough for 4 people.

Your own tv along with your own big walk in closet and your own bathroom, literally a five star hotel, you didn't complain at all, you were just shocked at how spacious this all was.

Each room was bigger than the other and it was starting to get all confusing, when you left the room, you would get mixed up with the way you walked in.

You loved it but at the same time you hated it, you accidently bumped into the Russian, she looked sweaty in her work out clothes and you stared at her with awkwardness.

She eyed you and cleared her throat, attempting to walk past you and continue where she was going but you stopped her "I'm sorry to disturb you but I just want to know where I can find the gym"

You rubbed your neck awkwardly "I- um- I tried searching everywhere but I'm lost"

Usually when people stutter around Natasha, it meant they were obviously attracted to her but with how you stood and looked away from her just showed her that you were afraid of her.

She didn't smile or anything "Walk straight until you reach the end of the hall and turn left"

You looked at her but she was already on her way so you shouted "Thank you!"

You made your way with her instructions of where to go, she knew how to hide her emotions but it was totally shocking for you how she never had a smile across her lips.

This was your first real conversation, not the hello's or goodbye's. It was a proper conversation, well kind of a proper but it was a start and that's what made you happy.

Second encounter with the redhead was a lot better, the two of you actually had a normal conversation in the morning, you were barely awake so coffee was your way of helping with that.

Walking into the kitchen, not really expecting anyone up early this morning, but the sight of the yawning Russian met your eyes, you smiled at her the best you could as you turned to make yourself a coffee.

"You know there is a coffee maker here?" Her naturally raspy voice spoke which caused you to look at her.

"Yeah I seen it but I have no idea how to use it" You confessed, you weren't embarrassed, you just weren't that fancy to ever own one or even be around one.

She turned around without a word and pulled out a cup, placing it underneath the little nozzle and within seconds the coffee poured out, she took the cup and placed it down as she slid it towards you.

You looked at her and then back at the coffee "Thank you Natasha"

She nodded as she sipped on her own drink "Since you are the only person who is up right now, you mind taking a look at this report, I'm not really sure what it means"

You was taken back, she was asking you for help? Shouldn't she know all of the reports like the back of her hand? She noticed your silence "Or you don't have to, I'll probably figure-"

"No, no I have nothing to do today so I don't mind helping" You smiled and took the coffee with you as you followed her into the room where she had a loads of reports laid out.

You looked at all of them "You know you can work on two reports at a time?"

She nodded "I know but the more I do within a certain time, the less I have later on"

You nodded as you sipped your warm coffee, it was very different to what you were used to, but this was definitely easier to get used to. It was the first time Natasha spent more than 2 minutes with you and you were more than happy to accept that.

So from that time, the two of you worked every morning with each other on reports, you learnt so much from her and in some way she learnt more about you rather than from you, she was impressed by your calmness with her constant questions.

To be fair you wanted to open up to the Russian, she had that safety vibe coming of her and you knew that she would never betray you or your trust that you put in her.

The mornings spent on reports also turned into evenings and soon there was movies every other day, she loved horror movies but you on the other hand loved action movies, there was plenty of action as a hero of the world but it never was enough.

She started to show herself around you more often and you really liked how you could make her laugh with simply couple words. She loved how close she gotten to you and how you trusted her with everything.

She had some doubt but you were always to reassure her, she was thankful for it each time, so in return she would ask you questions about yourself and you never hesitated for a moment to tell her.

⸻⸻⋙☸End☸⋘⸻⸻

But the problem was that not everyone saw it like that, they saw her for her body but not for her heart which is one of many reasons to why she was slow at opening up.

It angered you that people didn't want to treat her like anyone else, just because she was gorgeous didn't automatically make her less of a human.

Today was one of those days where you were busy, like busy busy, overloaded with bunch of reports that needed to be sorted before the next day, so you spent your whole day in you room, you glared at the clock on the wall.

You was doing this for 6 hours straight, no breaks so you decided to just do that. You stood up and stretched out, walking out of your room without anyone around, it did ignite curiosity in you so you walked around cautiously to see what was the deal.

Three of your teammates with two random agents were placed on the couch in the living room, trapping Natasha in between them, from her body language she didn't want to be there.

Bruce and Bucky along with Steve seem to laugh at the agents jokes, you moved closer to the door as you listened to what they were saying.

"Come on Natasha, you should do that power pose and show off that body" One of the agents spoke up as they eyed the Russian.

The other agent tried to move closer to her but hesitated, knowing she could easily tackle him "You can't let that body go to waste"

The anger was raising as words spilled out of their mouths, why didn't Steve stop them? Did he really think that as well?

"I was near to tapping that ass but you know women" Bruce made a comment as he laughed along with the agents.

"If she dyed her hair blonde, the amount of jokes we could make then" Bucky smirked as he spoke loudly.

Natasha was just taking in all of the comments, you could see across her face that she didn't enjoy it at all, so she stood up and what they did next made you finally act.

They all looked at her ass and whistled "Romanoff, you should dance for us, show off those curves"

"I am a little hungry as well, you might as well move that pretty ass of yours and make us something to eat" One of the agents spoke up as he laughed.

You walked in as you raised your brows at the 5 men sitting and eyeing Natasha as a piece of meat, you pulled her into you causing her to jump a little but relax when she realised it was you.

They all looked at you and the other agent smirked "Are yous going to put on a lesbian show for us?"

Now you wasn't just unimpressed but also pissed, you pulled yourself away from the Russian as you stepped forwards in front of Natasha "Listen here you little dick, If I hear that you even looked at Natasha in any way, I will fucking haunt you and make sure you don't live to see tomorrow"

His friend was terrified, he gulped when you looked at him "As for you, I want you to go and make her a fucking five star meal and if it's not good, I swear to god you'll regret being born"

He shook his head so fast as he stood up but you stopped him with your powers "You want a show? I will fucking give you a show"

You gripped his face, squishing his cheeks very firmly, your hand started to glow blue as you made him hallucinate that he was in pain, from the fact that he couldn't move and he felt as if his skin was being peel off he only could scream.

You looked at the 4 men who looked very terrified of you, your eyes had flames and you wasn't going to go easy, on neither of them "If any of you ever comment anything sexist or inappropriate about any woman, including Natasha. I will make your life a living hell"

"Do yous understand?"

They shook their heads and scattered away from you as fast as they could, you let go of the dude in front of you, he looked weak but he gotten up so fast that you could swear he had powers as well.

You turned towards Natasha, worried "Are you okay? Did they touch you?"

You looked her up and down as you made your way towards her, she shook her head with a small smile. You pulled her into a hug as a single tear slid down Natasha's face.

You pulled away as you wiped that tear off with your thumb "Why didn't you act Nat?"

"What's the point? It wont stop them from saying what they want Y/n/n"

The pain in your heart was strong at the words, how could any woman not be scared of what could happen if they do protest against men.

You cupped her face as you looked into her eyes "Natasha Romanoff, I promise you that I will protect you from their filthy mouths"

She smiled, this time it met her eyes which caused you to smile. You crushed on Natasha for a long time and promised yourself that when the time was right you would tell her but each time it was harder to do so.

Her and Bruce at the time were something but when she decided to break it off, you were there for her you told her she didn't need to tell you the reason to why she decided that but reassured her that it was probably a good reason to do so.

Now you are holding her face as her eyes are locked with yours, you could feel those butterflies in your stomach raise up "I will be your knight in casual clothes because armour isn't my style"

She laughed with her whole heart, causing you to laugh as well "Gosh I love you.."

You froze at her words, and so did she, her eyes widen at her words but she knew there was no way out of this so she pulled her sleeve and started to fidget with it.

Your hands were on her face but dropped at those words, you stood still trying to understand what just happened, she continued as she looked down "I hope that's okay but I love you Y/n"

You couldn't believe your ears, the woman who always had trouble opening up, right now was vulnerable with her whole heart to you and you was stuck, frozen as you stared at her.

"I never had anyone stand up for me the way to did today, I started to realise that I had feelings that one day when you were near to death on that mission" She was still fidgeting with her sleeve.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way but you just needed to know.." She confessed, she was standing in front of you holding her heart out in her hands, offering you to take it.

You smiled whole heartily as you looked into her eyes when you pulled her face by her chin "It's more than okay Tasha"

Your hands dropped to her hips as you pulled her in closer to you "Because I love you too"

That look in her eyes, you could see that she had those butterflies too, her eyes locked with yours, she tilted her head slightly to the side and crashed her lips against yours.

Her hands were placed on the back of your neck pulling you deeper into her kiss, you slowly backed her into the wall and when her back hit the wall, she gasped which you used the opportunity to slide your tongue inside her mouth.

The kiss became heated real quick, forgetting that the two of you were still in the public place, only when someone cleared their throat, make the two of you look where the sound came from.

Natasha hid her face in the crook of your neck as she quietly laughed at how awkward that is, you pulled yourself away from her as you looked in the direction of Tony, who looked at you with pure disgust.

"As if you never done this, but sorry you had to witness..." You rolled your eyes at him at first but looked over at Natasha who was still leaning on the wall "This"

She smiled as she intertwined her hand with yours and tugged it to pull you out of the living room, the two of you made it to her room but it wasn't long before you reclaimed her lips with your own.

This time it was a little bit more gentle, you backed her up to the bed as the back of her leg hit the bed frame, before you pushed her back and claimed on top of her.

The only light was the moonlight that was shining through the blinds, you kissed her passionately and redirected your kisses down to her neck, she moved her face to the side giving you more access to her neck.

You left marks as you slightly stank your teeth in but sucked the spot right after, earning a few small moans from the redhead beneath you, she was slowly turning into a mess but she managed to slightly pull you away.

"Don't you have a lot of work?" She asked a little worried but lust was more visible.

"It can wait" You declared as you looked into her eyes "Are you sure you want this?"

She smiled at you being caring and asking for consent "I want this детка (baby)"

You smirked as you placed a soft kiss on her lips and returned to her neck, giving it a couple more kisses and slowly moving down, the only thing that stopped you was the material of her clothes.

She slightly lifted herself off as you pulled her shirt off, exposing her upper body, you looked at her in admiration, her eyes had slight doubt across them but you were quick to reassure her.

"You are beautiful Tasha" You meant every word that came out of your mouth.

There was a blush across her cheeks as she smiled at you, your hand reached for the back of her bra as you unhooked it and pulled it off her.

You took couple of seconds to admire the view before attaching your mouth to her nipple, she bit her bottom lip to prevent her from moaning.

Your free hand glued itself to the other breast, giving it the same amount of attention as your mouth did, you moved your lips to her ear as your hand kept playing with her now hard nipple.

"I want to hear you Natty" You whispered into her ear and with that Natasha moaned into your ear causing a small smirk to settle on your lips.

You continued to kiss down her body until you reached the bottom of her stomach, you looked up at her to see if she was okay, she nodded to give you the confirmation.

You pulled her shorts off along with her underwear, exposing the bottom half of her body, you could smell her arousal which only fuel you on.

You teased her as you kissed her inner thigh, leaving marks there as well, you would from time to time lock eyes with her. You moved closer to her pussy, teasing her with your tongue causing some frustrated moans to escape her mouth.

Her hips would buck as you would teasingly lick her wet folds, she looked down at you as her eyes were consumed with lust "Please Y/n! Just fuck me already"

That's all you needed to hear before you attached your mouth to her dripping pussy, giving her clit the attention first as the more louder moans escaped her mouth.

You gripped her with your hands as your tongue worked it's magic against her hard clit, she was gripping the bed sheets as moans were spilling out of her lips, not caring if anyone heard.

You moved one of your hands as you slipped one of your fingers inside her and without letting her adjust you started to thrust into her, the feeling of pleasure was building up quickly in the bottom of her stomach with each thrust.

"Oh god" Those were the only words she managed to choke out, she was soaked which stoked up your own arousal along with her moans.

Her hips were quick to match your pace as you thrusted, bringing her closer and closer, you pushed the second finger inside and this time you curled the two fingers, hitting her spot all over again.

One of her hands gripped your arm as her nails dug into your skin, the other hand was still tightly gripping the bedsheet, her head was thrown back as you came up to her face.

Your pace of your fingers never slowing down but thrusting harder and fast "Let me show you how you should be treated instead darling.."

You kissed her lips as she moaned, you moved back down as you felt her walls tighten, knowing she was about to cum. You pushed your fingers even deeper into her, her breathing was heavy letting out low and loud moans.

You watched as the orgasm consumed Natasha with your name falling freely from her lips, you slowed down your thrusts to let her ride out her orgasm, holding her steady pulling your fingers out of her as you licked her clean, and moved back up to her lips.

Kissing her as she slightly moaned at the taste of herself into the kiss, you pulled away from her as she was still breathing heavily, staring into your eyes with a smile.

"Now it's your turn" She spoke in between breathes.

You shook your head "Not today darling, today's focus is you.."

You stripped yourself naked as you pressed your warm body against Natasha, glaring at the marks you left and holding her tight in your arms as she slowly calmed down from her high.

You were sure in this moment that you wanted to hear her moan your name till the rest of your life, it was the music to your ears and you didn't want it any other way.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

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#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha fluff

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